#im definitely not a numpty

[mythawolf]

I did it again. I bought fast pass episodes on Señorita Cometa.

[paintedbutton]

Find Five Lines Tag

@writernopal tagged me in this fun little tag, and I think I can find all of these in Shanghaied now, so that's what we'll be searching through. :)

A line where someone discovers something

Femi glanced up at him. “You better not,” he agreed, and there was no humour in his voice. “Mary will throw you overboard. And I won’t stop her again.” Again. Like he’d done it before. Like he’d saved George without George even knowing. He swallowed. “I won’t.” It felt more like a vow than a promise.

A line with someone's hair color

He’d seen Femi smile. Femi smiled all the time, George could tell already. But the one he wore right then felt … truer than the other ones. Softer. George had to be as red as his hair at this point.

A line quickly giving someone's backstory

“Oh!” Crow perked up. It rolled through her like a wave, like she was suddenly happy. If she’d been a dog, her tail would have wagged. “My Da used to sail with Mary. He … didn’t make it home, one time. Mary came and told us, all grave and towering like she is. And I asked her if I could go instead. Look for him, you know. She told me the sea had ‘im now, and I said I could talk the sea out of that if I had to. Ma said absolutely not, so Mary an’ I made a deal. If I still wanted, in two years’ time, she’d take me on. And here I am. Still learning to talk to the sea, but …”

A line with a funny phrasing

“Mary says you’re an ass. Femi says you’re just angry and a numpty. Barn says we all talk too much. What do you say?” “Uh …” He didn’t think he was an ass. Not usually. He’d made an ass out of himself, mind, but then he had been deceived and kidnapped. He blinked at her. Crow nodded to herself. “Definitely a numpty,” she decided.

A line describing food or drink

A good sign for what, George wanted to ask, but Femi offered him the spoon. The chowder he’d brought, the one that George felt fair to say they’d made together, was only lukewarm at this point. It still tasted wonderful to George’s empty stomach.

(Gently) Tagging: @addomfarm-ogf-updates , @tabswrites , @samwellwinchesterthebrave and leaving an open tag for anyone that wants to do this!

Your lines will be:

A line where a character is wearing something fancy

A line where something unlucky happens

A line about family

A line with a significant colour

A line that you love

[babymorte]

Must. Resist. Urge

Cannot watch Jackseptikeye playthrough of SH2.

Must. Play. Myself

Numpty! Tell me to be a good sheep and experience this game for myself

oh i’ve heard he’s entertaining to watch but i can’t say ive ever watched his gameplay stuff…i used to watch theradbrad but he put spoilers in his thumbnails for clicks and that pissed me off. his play through must be popular though cuz it keeps getting recommended over the actual people im subbed to. gotta love that youtube algo

i mean i can’t really say anything cuz it’s definitely not a game for everyone because until you get used to the combat it’s kind of annoying how bad at defending himself james is (it’s intentional and they do it really well) so honestly it might be wise to look at a little gameplay if you haven’t. ive only watched the official gameplay videos to get a gist but im already past what they showed so I haven’t watched anything new but even still definitely recommend playing over watching if it’s your type of game

[tyrannuspitch]

c*rry on fandom take baz’s kidnapping seriously challenge

[palimpsessed]

Thank you for the tag back @nick-eyre ! I am rabid for your Simon and Lady Ruth hug WIP 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 #Let Simon have a grandma who loves him 2021! I am also counting @stillmadaboutpetra ’s open tag because I always love seeing what you’re working on 🥰 And @sharing-a-room-with-an-open-fire tagged me a couple days ago! ❤️

I have no WIPs atm because I just posted two (and a half) art pieces and two fics this past weekend!! 🎉🎉🎉

Which means 1. I have to get my butt moving on the Art Remix. And 2. Shameless self promotion!!! (Nick said I could! 😌)

So here are some teasers from both of my new fics, which are still posting so I think they probably count anyway. And a reminder to go check out the AMAZING fics I got to make art for as part of COBB! Seriously, they’re both so good please go give them a read and some love if you haven’t!!!!

Strangers Like Me by @otherworldsivelivedin

Easy Come, Easy Go (M) by @krisrix

Here’s a little from one of the texting convos that @flammable-grimm-pitch and I improvised in real time over discord with her writing for Simon and me writing for Baz from our texting/tennis COBB, Sleeping with the Fishes (M). Definitely go check out the fantastic cover art @mae-berry made for us!

(Simon in bold and Baz in italics)

(18:40) I won’t report you.

(18:40) omfg baz THANK U

(18:40) this wont happen again

(18:40) But I don’t do favours, Snow.

(18:41) no yeah totally

(18:41) I expect you to do something for me in return.

(18:41) uh

(18:41) like wut?

(18:41) i was just kidding abotu the body thing btw so like

(18:41) if u need that kind of help id call dev or smthing

(18:42) I can dump my own bodies, thank you very much.

(18:42) haha right 😅

And ofc I have to include something from my pièce de résistance Chamber by Chamber (M). Part One is up now and Part Two will go live this Saturday, June 26! (I have shared so many snippets of this fic by now I can’t even remember what I have or haven’t teased 😅)

I roll my eyes. "What do you want me to say, then? You obviously think you already know everything."

"I don't," he says, quickly, but he sounds sincere. "I'm just worried about you, and I've seen you like this before. It's better than it used to be, and it's not constant. But lately, it's felt that way. If you're struggling, you need to talk about it. With me, or with your therapist, or with Bunce. Don't keep it all inside and buried down where you pretend it doesn't exist until you break."

"I'm not going to break," I insist, even though I don't quite succeed in getting the conviction behind my voice a statement like that needs to be believable.

"I don't want you to." His voice has gone a bit soft, and he's looking at me with those droopy dog eyes of his full of some kind of emotion.

I hereby tag, with no pressure whatsoever: everyone tagged above AND @adamarks @amphipodgirl @amywaterwings @angelsfalling16 @annabellelux @aristocratic-otter @arca9 @banjjakbanjjak @bazzybelle @bonappetart @caitybuglove23 @captain-aralias @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @cynopoe @dreamingkc @effing-numpties @fight-surrender @findingniamho @foolofabookwyrm @gampyre @hufflepunky @im-gettingby @laeve-leve @letraspal @twokisses @ninemagicks @phoxphyre @pipsqueakparker @scone-lover @seducing-a-vampire @snowybank @stardustasincocaine @subparselkie @super-duper-twelve @tea-brigade @theflyingpeach @thehoneyedhufflepuff @unseelieseelie @urban-sith @vampire-named-gampire @vkelleyart @wetheformidables @wunder-kin @xivz

[nightimedreamersworld]

Six Sentence Sunday

Hey, everyone! It's Sunday again and (sometimes) that means sharing a snippet, so here I am!

This is from... My COBB fic! (And no one is surprised lol)

Here's a scene we've all seen before, but... With a twist:

"Fucking hell," Fiona crows, unhelpfully. She kneels down next to the coffin, examining my branchy limbs. "Have you grown roots, Basil?"

"... Possibly," I sigh, trying to move my fingers. I can't feel much of my body at the moment. "Fiona, water."

She takes me by my armpits, groaning as she practically hauls me up. "In the car.”

Fiona helps me stay steady on my feet. My legs feel heavy, and my knee doesn't bend. There’s definitely something wrong with it, though I should have healed by now.

“Fucking numpties,” Fiona snarls as we walk around a pile of detritus.

There’s a hole in the wall, the makeshift entrance to what was once the den of the stone trolls. The smell of stale water and trash brings a wave of nausea.

“So?!" Fiona glares at me pointedly. "How did this happen?”

“I was at the Club,” I say. “I don’t know what you expect to hear.”

She cackles, inappropriately mocking for the situation, which tells me she’s actually relieved. “Cut that, Basilton. Numpties? Really?”

“They had the surprise element,” I say, rubbing my cheeks. There’s a thin layer of something soft covering the lower half of my face, almost like stubble.

“Is that moss on your chin?”

(spoiler: it is moss on his chin.)

Now tagging a bunch of people because a) I haven't seen any of these today, and b) I'm bursting with excitement about this fic and I need people to see it. So:

@otherworldsivelivedin @arca9 @phoxphyre @palimpsessed @vampire-named-gampire @snowybank @im-gettingby @waywardfangirl @annabellelux @banjjakbanjjak @theflyingpeach @adamarks @unseelieseelie @seducing-a-vampire @fight-surrender and anyone else who'd like to share something! (Also no pressure 😊)

[vampire-named-gampire]

Six Sentence Sunday

Thank you @gampyre for tagging me! 

I have a new WIP. Again. Hopefully I’ll actually finish this one because it’s to write. Also this is definitely more than 6 sentences 😅 Simon’s POV

I tag @otherworldsivelivedin @aristocratic-otter @captain-aralias @palimpsessed @nightimedreamersworld @arca9​ @waywardfangirl​ @effing-numpties​ @banjjakbanjjak​ @anika-222​ @im-gettingby​ @fight-surrender​ and anyone else who wants to do this! 

[thoodleoo]

Hi! Lately I've been feeling like the language of Latin is being used as a social class divider. I come from a working class family, know no Latin and work in medical research. My boss (rich, snob) tells me he gets private Latin classes for his daughter because it will open social doors for her in the "right places," which I probably couldn't get to despite nearly being a Dr. I'd be keen to know your thoughts on this. Feel free to tell me I'm being a numpty (you'd still be my favourite blogger!)

OH BOY man nothing gets me riled like people using classics for this sort of thing!!

i mean like. i’m already a huge socialist and advocate for free higher education and that sort of thing. but the idea of latin opening “social doors” is driving me WILD because what kind of fucking social doors is this dude talking about??

latin can definitely be HELPFUL for somebody in the medical field, and sure it sounds fancy to say you know latin, but it shouldn’t ever be thought of as something used to divide people on a class line. it frustrates me to no end that studying latin is seen as some sort of erudite accomplishment. it’s a language like any other, not a fucking status symbol (or at least it shouldn’t be!!). 

ok im a LITTLE incoherent rn because im tired but basically. education should have a practical purpose (whether that’s enriching yourself or preparing for a career or whatever else you’re using it for) and people who think they’re special for having access to certain fields are big ol bunch of dinguses!!

[myblueeyedbuggers]

My Boys

Chapter 10

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14

Pairings: Reader x Steve Rogers (best friend) Reader x Bucky Barnes

Word Count:1843

Warnings: Slow Start, Language.

Summary: After being abandoned by her parents in Brooklyn in 1929, y/n makes a living for herself by working for the Црни лабуд gang until she meets two boys in a back alley and her life slowing begins to change.

Annnddd I’m back! so I know it’s been a while since the last update and I just wanna thank you all for having patience with me while I finished up with college, just a warning this chapter may feel a little awkward to read due to me just getting back into my writing mind so apologises in advance for this one. Anyways I’ll quit blabbering, Enjoy everyone! :)

This was my day of reckoning, my punishment for all the bad deeds I’d done over the past couple of years…I was finally being sent to school. Okay maybe that was a tad dramatic, but can you blame me? I mean who wants to be trapped in a building against their will for 7 hours straight learning about dead guys?! No sane person would willingly agree to that crap!

I’ve tried just about everything to avoid my approaching doom, hell I even went as far as hiding in the basement surrounded by cobwebs to try and get out of this, but as per usual neither Steve or Bucky took mercy on me, hence why in currently trapped between the two. “You are aware I’m perfectly capable of walkin’ by myself aren’t ya? The looping of the arms is not needed boys” I swear down these two are being more annoying than usual, and I didn’t think that was humanly possible cause these two are basically the living embodiment of annoyance. Steve turned and raised his eyebrows at me, shaking his head as he let out a small laugh, “Yeah there’s absolutely no way I’m fallin’ for that again, last time that happened it look me and Buck an hour to get you outta that tree”. Ah crap there goes that plan.

I’m pretty sure the noise I made wasn’t even human, it was a mix between a seal and a possessed monkey “I’m not gonna get outta this am I?” “Nope” and que another frustrated groan. “Is this payback for the time I placed that bucket of flour above your bedroom door and watched the both of you turn into ghosts? If it is then I want you to know I regret nothin’” both of them stopped and glared at me, for some reason they didn’t find that as funny as I did, and I have no idea why. Okay whatever you do y/n don’t laugh, even if Steve’s face looks like a slapped arse don’t laugh! A snicker slipped past my lips and a few seconds later I was full on laughin’.  Goddamn it.

Both of em just let out a bunch of sighs and started draggin’ my butt along the street, wait there’s somethin’ I haven’t tried yet…in hindsight this is completely stupid but screw it. “OH MY GOD LOOK A SPACESHIP!” I’m pretty sure poor Bucky jumped outta his skin, Steve ended up trippin’ up and falling down, I’ll admit that I felt bad about but hey may plan worked! So why am I still standin’ there?… maybe we try this thing called running y/n! I quickly pulled my arm away from Bucky and used my new-found freedom to run in the opposite direction of them, I could hear the shouts of protest from the both of them, so I decided to kindly ignore them and absolutely leg it.  “GODAMMN IT Y/N! THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME THIS MORNIN’!” when were the boys gonna catch on that I didn’t wanna go? Do I need to prepare a firework show and blast it in their faces or somethin’…probably.  

I know I probably shouldn’t be smiling, but the feeling of the wind flowing through my hair as my feet hit the ground made me feel free, after so many years I could finally begin acting my age and enjoy my childhood. I finally felt content with my life, which is probably the opposite of what I should be feeling at this moment in time, considering I was currently making my grand escape. And to completely honest I’ve got no bloody clue as to where I am. I glanced behind me to see where the hell those idiots were, to my surprise Steve was directly behind me, Buck was somewhere in the back holdin’ his knee and I’m guessing the daft sod decked it. Why am I not surprised? Okay maybe I should of kept my mouth shut cause literally a second later my foot tripped over a rock and, you guessed correctly, I landed on my ass for the thousandth time!

“Sh*t! Cr*p! B*lls! That f**king hurt!” and that ladies and gentlemen is my fine command of the queens English, a groan of pain made me loose my train of thought as I turned my head to Steve, to put it simply he was laid flat on his back with his eye closed. Well there’s the rush of guilt I’ve been waiting for, “Sh*t Steve I’m sorry, you okay down there tough guy?” I quickly offered him my hand to help him up, I mean it’s the least I could do. Steve’s hand grabbed mine, a not so quiet grunt of pain made me feel even worse, quick question why am I such an assh*le at times? “Yeah, I’m fine y/n, don’t worry about it you know for a fact I’ve had worse” a quiet sigh left my lips as I brought him in for a hug, which was a tiny bit awkward due to the height difference. Once we pulled away from each other, I couldn’t supress the need to check him for anymore injuries, much to Steve’s embarrassment and Bucky’s amusement, “Jesus I’m gonna have to start wrapping ya up in blankets and pillows, Steve how the hell did you manage to get a bruise on your ear?!”

The sudden gasp behind me pretty much answered the question for me, it’s safe to say barney boy is in trouble…for the first in my life Bucky looks pretty f**king terrified of me, perfect. Slowly I started inching towards him, the glare I was sending him would probably make a demon cry for his mum…so yeah imma go kill the boy. I didn’t even have to say anything, he just started runnin’, “IT’S NOT MY FAULT HE STOLE MY FR**KING PUDDIN’ AND THE PUNK KNOWS I LOVE MY PUDDIN!’” YEP DEFINITELY KILLIN’ HIM “HE IS A SMALL AND GENTLE BOY HOW IN THE NAME OF HELL CAN YOU EVEN THINK OF LAYIN’ A HAND ON ‘IM?!” god this sounds like a bleeding soap opera.

 At this point I wouldn’t be surprised of someone called the cops on us, all everyone woulda seen was a big lad runnin’ for his life as a small lass tried to murder him while a smaller lad ran after the pair yellin’ for em to quit it.  Now that I think about, that’s actually hilarious. Wait, where was I? ah yes the murdering of one James Barnes…okay that is not a normal sentence I am aware. “HE.STOLE.MY.PUDDIN’! THAT A CRIME WORTHY OF DEATH!” oh for f**ksake “HOW THE HELL DO YA KNOW IT WAS HIM?! DID YOU NOT THINK IT COULDA BE BECCA?!” I think he made a sudden realisation, cause the dumbass stopped running and BOOM I was on the freakin’ floor. Again. We both groaned, mine was mostly in annoyance more than anything, but seriously the bloody floor is quickly becoming me best mate! “…. It just dawned on me that that could be a possibility…” if my neck twisted any quicker I’m 100% sure that I’d end up doin’ that weird owl thing “Oh now you realise?! Ya gonna say sorry to Steve or not?” a few seconds of silence gave me my answer. “Don’t give me that look y/n! I ain’t doing s**t till I’ve got some evidence so he’s still under my list of suspects!” oh my Jesus Christ this is gonna be the day I get arrested for murder isn’t it?

“Barnaby…you have exactly five seconds to run for your life so I highly recommend you get your affairs in order and kiss ya ass goodbye” oh hey look at that I didn’t yell at him! Well done me I’m so proud! “could you two quit trying to kill each other for 5 minutes?! We’re already late enough as is it and I ain’t explainin’ to the teacher why Buck’s outta it on the floor!” my f**kin god Steve just yelled! At me! why do I never have a camera when this s**t happens?  “Jeez, alright I’ll murder him later, calm your damn t*ts Rogers” and cue the sound of barely contained frustration in 3,2,1….

“I’m beginning to get the feelin’ that you don’t like me y/n” oh really? I wonder what gave that away “wow you catch on quickly don’t ya Barnaby?” by the looks of things I’m really doing wonders for his ego, buck’s head looks like it’s gotten smaller so the risk of him turning into a hot air balloon’s gone down. The feeling of a pair of eyes glaring at the back of my head once again reminded me that the blonde boy was quickly getting tired of our crap, my worst fears were confirmed once I met Steve’s surprisingly intimidating glare…how he manages to be both adorable and beyond f**king terrifying is a mystery to me. “Okay I’m comin’ just stop staring at me like I just murdered your kitten!” and the little s**t has the nerve to smirk and look pleased with himself, ugh he’s been hanging ‘round me and Bucky too long that’s for sure.

“Ya know Buck and you are gonna be the death of me” right do I be offended or pleased with that statement? “actually, if anything it’s gonna be the pair of you that send me to an early grave cause god knows the both of ya don’t know how to stay outta trouble” two muffled sounds of protest came from my left and from behind me, “what’s that supposed to mean?!” once again the point has been missed “do you really wanna know the answer to that? I’ve got my report and presentation ready on how you two are a pair of numpties”.

Maybe that was a tad harsh…okay wait never mind it seems I’ve learned how to fly again with the assistance of one James Buchannan Barnes. “this is coming from the girl who can’t walk five feet without fallin’ over somethin’?” as much as I hate to admit it the walking embodiment of frustration and annoyance has a point “what you call fallin’ I call floor hugs, now how about you pUT ME DOWN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!” wait when did Steve walk off? See this is what happens when an overgrown ape demands attention. I don’t even have to look at Buck to know he’s givin’ me that look that says, “what the hell?” and “I’m not surprised by this” at the same time, “Nah I don’t think that’s gonna happen doll” the temptation to kick ‘im where the sun doesn’t shine is too much to bare for me at this point. “And you wonder why I love Steve more that you” Buck’s face kinda looked like someone just shoved a whole lemon in his mouth, I’m almost certain that he woulda dropped me on my ass if it wasn’t for the fact that Steve came over and dragged us both through the gates of hell.

This is gonna be so much fun!……said no-one ever.  

Okay…maybe it didn’t suck as much a thought it did, hopefully my skills as a writer will come back for the next couple of chapters XD Thanks for reading ! :)

Rose xxx

[thoschei-rights]

Even more Who Fic ideas I can’t write bc I’m lazy

Okay maybe not lazy- I don’t think I’m lazy? I just really struggle keeping attention, and after a paragraph I’m bored? I struggle to stick with thing?? Idk? I dunno how to explain- but yeah take my ideas and run with them if you like them?? Heck if you write them, hit me up, and I’ll literally link them in this post <3

Okay so some of these exist already but they’re all mostly text fics? But can we please have more Eleven/Dhawan!Master fics?? I think the fandom has mostly just accepted their original meeting was while he was Eleven because he’s the only New Who Doctor not to have a Master Post-Ten? (Look I bolded post-ten so yall don’t think I’m ignoring Nine and The War Doc??) Can we not have the Master lowkey flirting with Eleven and Eleven being flustered af bc Eleven was a baby :’) Idk? I just- I have no excuses haha

This is an idea Ive had for a while, because I like River and y’know? Space Wives?? Please? :’) But anyway, my biggest love would be Thirteen in the Library episodes? Thirteen lowkey infiltrating the exploration squad or whatever the fudge they were called, she could pass as a normal person albeit a bit eccentric? Because River definitely doesn’t know that face if the Husbands of River Song is anything to go by? Thirteen promising herself she’s not there to get involved or change anything, she’s just there to see River one more time- but then Oop- she get’s involved gg :’) Its up to you how much she changes, if anything gets overwritten? Go crazy yo-

This prompt contains Broadchurch S2 spoilers btw Okay this one is a crossover? Sorry. Normally I’m not a crossover person, I just don’t like them most of the time unless they’re really well written? I read an amazing D:BH x Marvel crossover once?? ANYWAY. I’m going off on one... Broadchurch x Who fics aren’t rare.. but ones including Thirteen are hella rare and it makes me so sad?? But anyway, I finished season 2 the other day and lol at they end, Paul is all like lol bye Joe off to Sheffield you go... and I’m just there fucking screaming? Imagine right? Joe is just chilling in Sheffield being the shitstain that he is? And he sees Thirteen? and he’s like? fuck? what? help? Extra points if she’s being super gay with Yaz or she’s lowkey with the Master :’) but either way Joe is pissing himself bc he’s like holy fuck i’m being haunted or karma or- idk :’) extra extra points if Thirteen spots this random human staring and thinks he’s being homophobic or racist or smth and she lowkey gives him a glare and hESHJBF,DJKBFHDHJKFSDG I’m fine. fuck. i’m honestly fine. Joe deserves jail thanks he made my baby cry :ccc

nOW I have that out of the way- iMAgine lets kill hitler but when River gives him her regenerative shizzle, it heals him yes, but he also regenerates into Twelve? bc by this point the ponds have witnessed Mels > River regeneration so they’re aware of the concept? but now? their young energetic puppy of a doctor is a grumpy scot? and they’re whiplash af? but they aren’t the type to get judgemental? bc he’s still the doctor? I think if the ponds ever had to deal with a regen, they’re definitely in the group that would be accepting and wouldn’t taken ten years to get over it (LOOKING AT YOU CLARA YOU MEANIE???) Rory having a mid-life crisis bc now he has TWO anger scot peoples 

Clara breaking Thirteen out of prison bc we’ve all seen the Jack versions but hi Clara can’t get back to Gallifrey to be put back in her timestream if iTS ALL DESTROYED SO IS SHE IMMORTAL??/ Anyway yeah Clara is like lmao psyche I’m gonna go save the dork from prison bc ur not telling me she doesn’t keep tabs on him? pft. Thirteen is like woah holy shit Clara? and Clara is like woah holy shit yoU REMEMBER ME AND YOU’RE GORGEOUS AND WOAH SHIT NOW IM GAY?? :’) and then Jack bursts in and he’s like oh i was late which one of you are the doctor- :’) 

Asylum of the Daleks except Eleven literally takes Dalek Oswin with him? and news spreads among the universe? the doctor and a dalek> traveling? together? it causes the biggest shOOKETH in the history of shOOKETHs? imagine landing places and peoples reactions to a fuCKING DaleK OH SHIT WE GON DIE but then woah?? a literal sassy female-sounding dalek? hi bye wtf? Yes. We stan Dalek Oswin.

Thasmin bc I need to make sure yall know deSPITE THE USERNAME I DO ACTUALLY DIE FOR THASMIN TOO YKNOW??? anyway, the house-tardis (housis) likes Yaz, bc everyone likes Yaz, have you met her? she’s precious? we love? anyway the housis takes Yaz to the Doctor bc Yaz is lowkey begging bc she needs to save her- she doesn’t know what happens but- she hopes and- anyway the housis takes her to prison and yeet Yaz is a badass and breaks her out? Thirteen is like woAH im gay af when Yaz deadass throws a guard over her shoulder or smth and she’s like I DONT APPROVE OF TH E VIOLEN C E but she’s also gay crisis af :’) we just have lots of prison break alternatives in this church

Can i throw in another broadchurch crossover? I like these... The Master escapes the Kasaavin realm and ends up in Broadchurch? He’s bare confused why everyone looks like the doctor or his/her/their human pets :’) he lowkey does double takes every two seconds. without a tardis he’s forced to live as a human for a bit, while trying to contact the doctor, bc as much as he doesnt wanna admit it, he needs her to give him a lift to his tardis lmao- anyway she eventually turns up and idk , everything falls to shit bc the general public are so confused bc now there’s two beths :’)

the fam end up in petes world after a shitshow in the votex :’) maybe someone crashes into them (lol probably the master being a bish) and yep. thirteen is like o shit nope i cant do this- but the fam wanna explore, so she can’t refuse. and ofc, cliche af but oFC THEY RUN INTO ROSE? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? WE NEED BLONDE BABIES TOGETHER THANKS? maybe thirteen is trying to pretend to be normal and human and its a disaster and the fam are confused but play along, maybe they’re dragged into an alien issue and its all running and shit? maybe meta doc is dead? maybe thirteen wants to tell rose who she is so bad but? she cant? things are so different now? she’s changed so much> she’s scared? jkhflkjhg precious- but yeah take it as you wANT YO

the fam meeting missy. you can set missy pre-dhawan, post-dhawan, I’m not bothered? personally I really like post-dhawan but it’s fine. the fam are like oo whose this aND IT DOESNT CONNECT THEY’RE THE MASTER BC MISSY IS A NORMAL NAME SO THEY DONT THINK- but then it comes to light and they’re like HYJKFGUIGFDSLUHGSUHL maybe they’re angry and confrontational, maybe they’re defensive and shook?? i dunno but missy and fam are the dream squad thanks-

same as last time, this has lots of typos and gramatical errors, shit punctuation and half the time i forgot to capatalize... BUT i lowkey have a big ass bandage around a finger on my left hand and its hard to type- (i was a numpty and cut a bit off my finger at work) SO YEAH I HAVE AN EXCUSE- ?? haha jokes im just a mess... but yeah I’ll fix this post up evenbtually... 

[thewollfgang]

@moonatoms replied to your post “20, 2, 9, 3 also I’m gonna steal this from you”

you forgot the 3 (or did you already answer that? if you did I’m sorry :D)

I forgot the 3 (im a numpty)

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

oof, there’s a lot. Let’s just count fandoms im more active in. 

Lucifer:  I probably identify the most with Chloe. A bit uptight, responsible, the Mom Friend. but my humor is definitely more Lucifer. 

A Discovery of Witches: Matthew. Protective, serious, angry streak. Enjoy a good glass of wine. We even have the wolf thing going on.

Star Wars: Obi-Wan, hands down. this quote sums us up pretty well.  

“I think you know in your heart that you’re meant for something extraordinary.” “And you, Master. What does your heart tell you you’re meant for?” “Infinite sadness,” Obi-Wan said, even while smiling.”

Marvel: Probably Tony. Tries to do the right thing. Considers themselves a loner even when surrounded by friends. Sunglasses. Ridiculously good looking and knows it ;)

Maybe Peggy Carter, too. I wouldn’t mind beating a bad guy up with a stapler. 

Doctor Who: Nine. Outwardly cynical, inwardly hopeful. Goofy when around people they’re comfortable with. Looks awesome in a leather jacket. Capable of great compassion or great cruelty. Wants to help. Has a penchant for fancy titles. 

How’s that?

[babymorte]

... hello anxiety my old enemy ... what brings you to town

... also just to clarify, it's a vape, I don't do the cigarettes thing (can't stand the smell)

... if you need help, need a shoulder ... or need someone to join you for DQB, you know where to find me numpty 🤗🤗

... oh ... also ... do not, forget, you're freaking awesome

seriously though i don’t know what happened. i was fine and then a thought popped in my head to self sabotage and next thing i knew i wanted to hurt my head in the ground like an ostrich 😂 it hasn’t really gone away and im kind of a mega mess but i have a sour pink lemonade ghostie that’s at least keeping my mood up 😅

ahh vapes still aren’t good though! cigarettes are definitely worse though 🤢 i cant stand the way they smell either 😭 i do like tobacco scents in like candles and lotions though 😅

im totally okay though~ i think i just need some time to let my brain do whatever internal damage it’s trying to do and then i’ll be fine again 😅

YOU’RE freaking awesome sheepy 🤩

[thecruciblegavemeyou]

I was actually gonna give you a prompt for Snowbaz! I have this headcannon were Baz is really self conscious about his body, I wonder if you could write something about that?

thanks! sorry this took so long!!!!!! ahhhhhhh this is a good prompt i hope i do it justice. (i love your url btw) 

words: only like 800 or so sorry 

warning: mentions of eating disorders, etc, please dont read if you think it will make you uncomfortable

when snow asked me if i was anorexic that christmas eve in my room, i definitely paused a moment. i mean, i wasn’t anorexic, but i did not have great eating habits. i was a vampire, and maybe i didn’t need as much food as other people, or simon the human vacuum cleaner, but i didn’t eat enough. 

it didn’t help that i wasn’t fed a scrap of food in the two months i spent with the numpties, either. when fiona finally found me, she took me right to the nearest mcdonalds and bought the whole goddamned menu. i didnt have the heart to tell her that i threw it all up in the bathroom a half hour later. my body forgot how to handle food. 

until that christmas eve with simon, i hadnt eaten any full meals or much of anything. maybe a biscuit or an apple, here or there. 

i wanted to eat, but i didn’t feel like i deserved it. it was my fault that my mom was dead. it was my fault that my dad would barely acknowledge my presence. 

it wasn’t until one night with snow when i really broke down. we usually stayed fully clothed. or mostly clothed. but tonight, simon was feeling frisky, and he tugged he shirt off over his head. when he got to work on mine, i could feel my stomach lurch. 

was i too pale? 

was i too skinny? 

my torso was weirdly stretched because of my height. 

my hips and ribs were kind of jutting out too… 

my body wasn’t proportional. i didn’t look like any of those boys in the magazines, and i wasnt as muscly or filled out as i had been during the football season at watford. 

i was too tall, and-

“baz? baz, are you okay, love?” i could hear him in the back of my consciousness, buried under the panic and the pressure on my lungs. he sounded like he was under water.

simon crawled off my lap and started smoothing my hair. “darling, whats wrong?” 

“i cant, i look, i cant…” he rubbed a hand on my back and waited for me to come back. when i finally looked into his eyes again (so fucking blue, even in the dark) he looked concerned. he looked like a kicked puppy. 

i felt guilty. i didnt want to hide from him. i didnt want to be the one who made him look that upset, i’d had my fill of that at Watford.

he’d pulled his shirt back on, but i pulled mine off anyways. if i still beat, my heart would be pounding of the walls. 

he didnt say anything for a little while. almost too long. he stared at my chest, and reached a hand out towards me. he didnt touch me, like he was afraid to break me. did i look that paper thin? and then he looked angry. 

“im sorry, simon i-” i didnt want him to be angry with me. i didnt want to make him upset. 

“baz, love, when was the last time you ate anything?” i shrugged, but i could feel the panic rising at the back of my throat. 

“please dont be angry, i just-” i hated the way i sounded, my voice came out in a pathetic whimper. so much for all of those years pretending nothing got to me. 

he shook his head, and pushed my hair back out of my eyes, “im mad at myself, for not noticing sooner.” i kissed the back of his hand. 

“do you want to talk about it?” he asked. i couldnt say no, not when he was looking at me like that. 

he spent the entire night listening to me. i told him everything, and he rubbed my stomach in a weirdly comforting motion. i couldnt help but fall into his touch. 

“i think you should talk to my therapist, baz.”

“si-” 

“and i want to try and help you eat a little more, okay? ill make you breakfast tomorrow.” 

i nodded. i tried to hide the voice that was in the back of my head, but i know he could see it in my eyes. 

“you’re so beautiful, baz.”

-

and he did. he made me breakfast, and i woke up to the sun rising over my golden boyfriend and a plate of burned scones and soggy eggs. it didnt even matter when he got strawberry jam all over my chest (honestly, i think he did it on purpose). 

it was hard not to laugh as he tried to spoon feed me eggs, and it didnt help when penny barged in.

“simon- oh my god, stop licking jam off of baz’s chest long enough for me to yell at you! i just stepped on a raw egg, simon! why did you leave a broken egg on the floor!” 

when penny finally got us out of bed, i noticed the disaster simon made of the kitchen. 

everything wasn’t perfect, and maybe it wouldnt ever be, but it was always getting better, with bunce and my bloody git of a boyfriend.

~

eeekkkk. i hope i handled this okay, i know its a tough subject. body positivity is harddddd man…. if theres anything in here thats wrong in any shape or form or offensive would someone let me know? i dont want to make anyone uncomfortable 

i tried to make it realistic i honestly think baz might have a lot of trouble/guilt and i cant imagine that it was easy to start eating again after not having food for two months so… 

[captain-aralias]

Thursday recs

it’s been a while since i’ve done one of these - can’t remember what i’ve recced... probably these are new to my blog, except how i definitely reblogged stuff about them already...

anyway.

i guess they’re all NSFW this week? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

new:

Bound and Determined by fatalfangirl - WIP, NSFW

obsessed with this fic to an unhealthy extent, probably. baz didn’t go to watford, simon did - they meet at a vampire club fiona has been hushing up, had bitey sex and now have a blood bond. everything about it is good. the premise, the dialogue, fiona, the vulnerability and cautious early liking from both of them. only two chapters - i need the rest ASAP.

Need A Hand? by @twokisses - NSFW

such a good domestic turned kinky (bitey - i know what i like) sex, with some really beautiful passages about the characters. it’s not just smut, but also the sex is amazing.

Summer Haze by @im-gettingby - WIP, NSFW

new chapter!! i love this story - which is a ‘they didn’ get together at watford’ AU, but picks up really soon i.e. they meet in las vegas where baz has gone for an internship. love the depth of he AU, so many smart ideas about what vegas is like, and also the relationship is so good so far - simon’s further along with his realisation than in canon because it’s further in time, but not quite there yet - but also at the bad point in his life, but actually working out what he feels about baz is probably quite helpful - rather than having worked it out and now being in this situation. very much looking forward to the end.

older fic 

Unspoken by @knitbelove - NSFW

carry on canon-divergence AU, straight after baz comes back from the numpties. hot and tender (and sad) but also super interesting to read post AWTWB as the vibes are very similiar.

lost and found by runandgo - NSFW

another one that hits different post AWTWB - a first time, very about the vampirism and the fangs. no biting - it’s baz having a bit of a breakdown, but they get through it. really interesting plotty stuff in the middle of the sex.

Halfway Through the Wood / Mine Is the Sunlight by elizajane - NSFW

leaver’s ball sex, now very AU, but still really lovely and funny and tender. i really really like the second one, which is about simon taking charge of the situation and making it good for them both, although it’s fun that - again like AWTWB - this is about how they had failed sex before they had good sex.

enjoy!

[palimpsessed]

@caitybuglove23 tagged me today and shared some very good teasers!

Because I’ve been hard at work going crazy over my first A Man of Letters illustration, I’m going to share some of what I’ve managed. Did you know it’s incredibly hard to find men’s fashion plates from 1809-1810? Guess I should have actually set my Regency fic during the Regency, huh? Anyway. Historical fashion rant over.

Here are some character sketches. Still in the tracing paper stage, which I’ve only recently started doing. It’s definitely upped my game.

And because I can’t resist, here’s another sneak peek at my current fic. Baz again.

"Christ," he breathes after some minutes. It's never a good sign when Simon swears like a Normal. "I can't believe you didn't tell me. No, I can. But I can't believe you thought you couldn't tell me."

"I knew you'd be upset," I say, but I don't sound convincing.

"And to think, you call me a moron," he says.

I push him away and raise my head. "What are you insinuating?"

He growls at me, which isn't surprising. He's been growling at me since we were eleven years old. If he stopped, I'd be worried. (The day I can no longer provoke Simon into growling is the day all the magic goes out of our relationship. Figuratively, not the literal magic.)

I’ve not seen many other wips so far, but I know we’re nearing the end of the day. Consider these tags for today, Sunday, any day, or just a friendly hello. @adamarks @amphipodgirl @amywaterwings @angelsfalling16 @anika-222 @annabellelux @aristocratic-otter @arca9 @bahumdrum @banjjakbanjjak @bloodiedpixie @captain-aralias @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @cynopoe @effing-numpties @fight-surrender @findingniamho @flammable-grimm-pitch @foolofabookwyrm @gampyre @hufflepunky @im-gettingby @krisrix @laeve-leve @letraspal @stillmadaboutpetra @mageicalwishes @twokisses @motherscarf @nick-eyre @ninemagicks @nightimedreamersworld @otherworldsivelivedin @peachpit-gabe @phoxphyre @pipsqueakparker @prettylightsbigcity @scone-lover @seducing-a-vampire @snowverylost @snowybank @theflyingpeach @thehoneyedhufflepuff @toonysart @trenchcoat-moth @unseelieseelie @vkelleyart @waywardfangirl @wetheformidables @wunder-kin @xivz