#you're still stuck with them
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they make me feel unwell
(continued: Stan & Young Ford)
#the flip side is that Grunkle Stan and Young!Ford are really funny to draw. But these two? I think about them and start sobbing#anyway been trying to draw a little Time Travel AU stuff. specifically The grunks meeting their 30-something-year-old selves#oldies in the 80s AU#if you will#its like god imagine being completely no contact with your brother and then BAM a guy who has the EXACT relationship you want shows up#and he's being really nice to you and you're pretty sure you've passed out and this is a dream but you really dont want to wake up#and on Ford's side he is suddenly face to face with this really beat up younger version of his brother and its like uh oh! Guilt!#Best behaviour time. cannot be ribbing this one like he would've been if Grunk Stan got injured.#Which only adds to the whole 'I'm bleeding out after being beaten up and this is a fever dream' feeling on Stan's side#cw injury#cw blood#i mean drawn and cartoony but still#gahh kinda want to completely redo this from scratch but tis what it tis#Gravity Falls#Gravity Falls time travel AU#time travel au#is time stuck a specific thing or general term for time travel in the fandom? I feel like its a specific thing.#like how iirc twins in time is when its the baby stans with the older ones. but idkkk idkkkkkkk!!!#GF Fan art#gravity falls fanart#fan art#fanart#Ford pines#grunkle ford#stanford pines#stan pines#stanley pines#mullet stan#young stanley pines#my art
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Council of lovefools.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#They don't have an actual sleepover in this scene but the vibes were so sleepover coded...I had to get them cozied up.#Late night talks with friends and family are some of the best conversations.#My siblings and I used to have room sleepovers with each other (Actually an excuse to stay up and talk about runescape)#Currently my flatmates and I also have really great heart to hearts late into the night.#Pondering shit like 'What defines confidence?“ and ”Why are people terrified of letting themselves fall in love?"#All that aside; There is a really great conversation between JC and WWX here. They are so close and yet so far way from each other!#Fundamentally they *agree* about many things - but JC now has to play the role of someone more 'mature'.#His temper is reigned in and he had to take a more nuanced approach. Whereas WWX can be far more reactionary.#JC has changed to become someone more mature (or at least he is trying).#Contrast this attitude with the scene *right* after where WWX literally goes baby mode with JYL. Rolling around going “I'm Fwee years old”.#When children are hurt we comfort them with hugs and warm food and a laugh. It's not enough when you're an adult. It's not simple anymore.#WWX is stuck in the past when everyone else is shifting and moving on! It's a depression allegory (and just...actual depression)#But we also get to see how some things have stayed the same. They still bicker about soup. They still tease. They are still together.#They all care for each other very much but they are struggling against trauma and are not equipped to talk about it.#You can't really blame WWX for being so protective over JYL. But JC is right: “You don't have a say in who she likes.”#It may have started as an arranged marriage but *she* is *choosing* what her heart wants. JC sees that. WWX cannot.#The final act of love is letting go after all.
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realizing i have. a lot of untapped trauma potential for clone^2 danny because i just Fully Processed Four Months Late the fact that his parents were capturing and torturing ghosts in the basement before he became Phantom. and the fact that he was on house rest for 2 weeks. during that time period. and he wasn't really leaving the house. he could hear their screaming through the floorboards
*points at clone danny* i can give you suuuuuuch a bad time babe ahaha. i've got two untouched years before you meet damian what fucks you up before then
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#clone^2#danny fenton is a clone#like i dont even need to traumatize you worse the pure explorative options from this aLONE is enough to feed me for a week.#like. tucks hair behind ear let me shatter you into glass pieces then glue you back together babe. i can put you back together so good.#i'm missing a few shards because some parts of you broke into such small pieces i couldn't pick them back up again so you'll be missing a#few chunks of yourself that you'll never get back but that's okay. you'll still be a resemblance of your old self :]#don't let anakin (me) listen to late night sad songs he makes angst.#hhh imagine being stuck in a house for two weeks where you can hear your parents torturing ghosts in the basement and not only that but#you're the only person who can undERSTAND the ghosts. how many times did he see his parents drag in a ghost with whatever capturing device#they made recently? iirc the thermos was like. brand new in episode one right? but gOD the trauma this alone would cause#nobody touch me im cooking rn i need to think about how this would impact danny. like obvs it would fuel into a developing obsession to#keep his parents away from ghosts and to help the dead but what *else.* i need to refine my becoming phantom ficlet i wrote back in winter#raaa#and like even after two weeks they were *still capturing ghosts* danny just wasn't in the house 24/7 at the time.#*but those two fucking weeks man*#i need to sleep on this first before i make any major moves bc i know im tired but i am having thOUGHTs
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genuinely killing undyne in a neutral run and then walking through hotland later and seeing alphys' posts go "just realized i didn't watch undyne fight the human... well i know she's unbeatable i'll ask her about it later v . v" completely unaware of what's happened is one of the most unpleasant and harrowing experiences in undertale and i am not kidding even a little bit
#undertale#she doesn't fucking know.#that's part of why undyne's no mercy death is in a way less heartbreaking than her neutral death#partly because in neutral she didn't expect this. she had no clue you would be powerful enough- experienced enough- to defeat her#and she dies terrified of what you'll do to her loved ones#while in no mercy she gave it all she had and she dies knowing alphys has a plan to evacuate everyone if she loses#AND alphys at least knows. like. watching your best friend and the one you love die horribly in real time#while you're powerless to help obviously isn't fun.#but is it worse than having no idea she died until after you've unknowingly befriended her murderer#and helped them in every part of their quest?#is it worse than only finding out what's happened after they've gone and you're truly stuck there with her gone and them untouchable?#despite everything. undertale still makes me insane.
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my birthday is also my genshin anniversary, so i doodled myself with some favs 💕 happy four years, my beloveds
also looking at the cake lineup in my inventory makes me so happy ehehehe (also the xiao lanterns)
#2024#self insert#self ship#genshin impact#sucrose and ajax baked the cake together and sucrose was not informed that the candles would be yoimiya's sparklers lol#kaeya alberich#xinyan#naganohara yoimiya#sucrose#venti#dvalin#childe#tartaglia#childe tartagalia#they need to tell us ajax's surname so we could just use his name instead of titles like that's ridiculous#ignore the anatomy this was a quick scribble for the seratonin boost#it didnt have to be good. it just had to make me feel happy looking at it! and it did! :D#i wish i could've fit more characters :( i'm still stuck with tiny pieces of scrap paper and it sucks#i neglected to add a sumeru character because so many of them are in a do-not-separate situation with AT LEAST one other character#like i would've liked to add faruzan but then it's like oh then i should add layla and kaveh! followed by oh i need to add al haitham then!#which would be followed by added cyno and nilou. which would be followed by adding dunyarzad dehya candace tighnari and collei#which of course means i would next go all the way and add nahida kuni and sethos#do you see what i mean? sumeru's cast is too intertwined! if you want one you need them all!#absolutely no room for that lol#man... i need to rebuild sucrose i miss playing as her she's so fun#anyway anyway i hope you're all having a lovely day/night
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The whole "humans are inherently awful and bad!" spiel is so tiring to me as a survivor of abuse because it comes off as abuse apologia. If humans are inherently awful, then why should it matter if you're abused - that's what humans do best! Like, genuinely, I think this mindset can harm abuse victims/survivors because they're being inundated with this idea that, well, how bad can their abuser be? All humans are horrific, why complain, why escape, and why try to resist it?
I really wish people would critically analyze where these ideas come from and where these lines of thinking can lead. Maybe it's a matter that I'm looking too deep into, but this very bleak ideology is not going to help in the long run, I think, and some of the first people who are going to be crushed by it are the people who are vulnerable or who are put in vulnerable positions in society.
#politics#abuse tw#abuse mention tw#i think a lot of these beliefs can influence your politics and how you view other people#honestly if i kept the mindset that humans are inherently abusive i would have just stayed with people who abused me. lol.#i think a lot of people who posit these things are genuinely in pain and i really really feel for them...#...a lot of these people may be in the earliest stages of healing where the world DOES feel scary...#...but i don't want that to be normalized in the sense that it *can be* harmful to dwell in...#...when the world feels like a hammer you're going to think you're a nail. and that's such a scary thing to be stuck in#i think it's different when people use this stuff to imply that abuse isn't real/isn't a big deal because abuse is the Nature of Humanity#i'm just frustrated that this is seen as... expected? necessary? fine? it's hard to describe#i've probably talked about this before but i don't care because this is important to me still even if i did
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Honestly, I'm really grateful that my brain isn't wired to jump from hyperfixation to hyperfixation. It has its own unique drawbacks, sure, but I've always found it really comforting that I know what to expect from myself.
#falling out of love with my own projects is something I find really oddly horrifying#but the only time I really ever stop loving something is if the thing itself gives me a reason not to like it#the only reason I ever really stopped doing VOH fanart is because the fandom for it dried up completely and my my job at the time demanded#all of my art attention#i've still drawn the characters a few times since then tho#I still love them with all of my heart lol#same with slayers and sailor moon#and ofc my love for dmc revs back up into action every time a new game comes out#(looking at the reboot) not you#been hyperfixated on resident evil since 1996 lol#killer instinct since 1994#god now that's a thing why have I never done modern killer instinct fanart? Sabrewulf's new design is a chef kiss#I've got my ancient KI fanart from the 90s have I ever posted it for you guys lmao it's amazing. all the love a 10 year old can pour#as we speak I have some of my voh doujin [hush you they're clean/story driven ones] on my desk bc I was reading through them again#anyway my point is... there's a few things I fell out of love with ofc#but those were all for actual 'story jumped the shark/tied to a bad experience' reasons#I'm thankful that my exact form of audhd doesn't come with jumping hyperfixations#ofc this means you're stuck with soli#stuck with it forever#(villainous thunderclash)#I love tumblr's post culture most of this post is in the goddamn tags
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shellendorf musical is crazy man. i was listening to the soundtrack just now and got flashbacks to shucking yoko binder cap'n cuttlefish
#we were really out here making gay fanfic of nationalist military officers huh#some of which are still alive#sheldon rapping is still pretty funny tho#he goes surprisingly hard with it?#or unsurprisingly. his weapon lectures DO have a decent rhythm to them the longer you're stuck hearing them#or maybe i'm just going insane#must be the glowflies#shellendorf: the musical#theatre squid ramblings#yoko binder cap'n craig cuttlefish#splatoon#splatoon oc#splatoon rp#unreality
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I think a key thing to remember when judging all those "Astarion/Minthara/Lae'zel disapproves" reactions to like... helping orphans is that in context they're often rather realistic and practical considering what's being asked of them. If anything it's the more good-aligned companions willingness to drop everything and risk their lives to help randos in need of help that is unreasonable to expect.
Remember, from their perspective things like save-scumming are not real. They cannot metagame and prepare for what specific enemy or attack they might face. In-universe, death has consequence and you can die. Plus we're on an unknown time limit here to potential squid-ifying, not to mention their own personal baggage.
It's like... they're playing blind and on Honour Mode, and the consequences of failure isn't just a story going the way you might not like or your fave character dying. It's actual life and death. There are real stakes here for them.
So while yes they can approve of just... petty asshole stuff or even genuinely evil stuff, it's not unreasonable for them to have a problem with risking their lives for random strangers. Because if they're in your party, that's what you're doing. Making the choice to put their lives on the line for strangers. If anything they're all oddly brave and ride-or-die for whatever bullshit decisions you make from the start--I mean it takes a lot of reckless altruism while also being an asshole to them specifically (it's not hard to balance their approval by being nice to them directly on a good playthrough) to get them to hate you, let alone ditch the group.
#bg3#I feel like as players we get blinded by all our player knowledge and how the stakes feel to US#that we forget to look at how they impact the characters in-universe#like my previous post on how the Emperor has very sympathetic and understandable reasons for manipulating you#and is even quite restrained and fair considering what the stakes are for it#like with how the math actually plays out. Astarion will grumblingly put his life on the line for whatever side quests you want to go on#and will still come to like and trust you so long as personally you're supportive of him and his bodily autonomy#and even the more power-hungry evil stuff... Minthara and Astarion usually approve of such for very practical (if ruthless)#reasons because for them power = safety#Minthara is actually very chill and trusting of your judgment considering how she lived prior to joining us on our quest#to help every kitten stuck in a tree#and Lae'zel is actually very compassionate. it just presents very aggressively and selectively#and like obviously as adventurers now risking their lives is kinda par for the course#but I still can't judge them entirely for disliking being volunteered out for charity work with no guaranteed reward#and a very real chance of death
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palisade has been sooo good for me because pre-palisade it truly felt like i was the only jesset guy in the world and now i see people talking about him and i'm <3 <3 <3
#i love this man!!!!!!#when you're a 23 year old 'very young' austin walker revolutionary but then you break the curse and LIVE and continue the work#and you don't even get disillusioned you're just out here. former leader of the WHOLE revolution who served his term and now keeps working#and you work hard to be cheerful and you like your emojis and your friends and your boys#i just love him!!!!!!!!!!!! he still thinks of himself as party of the wolf T_T the only person in that damn election he could respect won#and he stuck with them#im gonna throw up thinking about how much i love jesset city#palisade#f@tt#friends at the table
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I think Bram and Lovecraft should find a (probably haunted) ship that just drifts out in an anomalous and liminal, to put it frankly, odd, bit of sea, forever a drift, surrounded by nothing but fog, no wind, no rain, no waves, no storms, just quiet. I think they should hole up there and sleep for a couple hundred years. yeah. I think that would be nice.
#bramcraft#I need them to be the new Bermuda Triangle#like#sailors are scared shitless when the waves disappear all of the sudden and a still fog rolls in and there's no wind#sightings of mysterious beings and retellings Eldritch cries and songs are all that return to land#no one ever sees the ship and survives#there's no wind. you're stuck in irons. once your stuck you don't get out.#I think that'd be cool for them#meanwhile they're just napping and Lovecraft is doing the bear minimum to keep them undisturbed and his husband fed#they're surrounded by gold and antiques and valuables but they just don't care#bram stoker#bram bsd#bsd bram#hp lovecraft#bsd lovecraft#lovecraft bsd#bsd#bungo stray dogs#they'd kiss messy and with tongue#those cries and songs is just them having old gay sex#they're living their best lives
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THANK YOU for explaining the Louis/Armand fight with such clarity. Like obviously Armand has the ultimate power over the relationships here and the way he behaves in this episode is world class terrible, we can all see that, but I feel like I've been going crazy when people are softening Louis's words as light banter while Armand responding somewhat in kind is framed as malicious suicide baiting.
It's not my take but I would understand if people were approaching this as "Armand sucks so bad and technically can leave whenever so I give 0 fucks what Louis does or says to him," but "Louis was just being mean" doesn't track for me. He is at this point in his life using regularly enough that Armand's first response when he gets vicious is a bitter "here comes the drugs." He's used to this. Addiction is a complicated and terrible disease but Louis is Armand's partner, for whatever reason, apparently (big caveat) of his own volition and he responds to Armand being upset about his cycle of risky drug use and insincere apologies with a "you're boring and smothering" speech before turning on a dime to "cringe of you to be a victimized. it's given you a real victim mentality" when Armand says he's boring too. It's legitimately reprehensible behaviour! And that's fine. I will continue making heart eyes at him whenever he appears on screen undeterred.
#who was right and who was wrong is not my favourite approach to art even when all the characters aren't all#self obsessed serial killers but Louis is not in the right here! he's just not in a position of power#which yes. if you have it you're stuck with it you have to wield it responsibly#armand has neither the talent not inclination so that won't be happening#but if you look at what louis does with a person he's in a position of power over#it amounts to a) charisma bomb#b) get mad and violently attack him when he says something he doesn't like#c) swoop in and give him a big affirming talk about how he's actually special and worthy#i think that speech was sincere and moving#i am a danlou appreciator. i want them to experience true friendship and maybe fuck about it. still. two things can be true at once.#incidentally you know what's boring. it's addicts calling their loved ones boring when they object to their behaviour#that was pedestrian if precisely calibrated and delivered with verve (emmy for jacob when)#the daddy vamp spiel now that was special. top shelf#press says iwtv#interview with the vampire#all of this said when i see what he does to my claudia i may well be back here like u should have been meaner louis#why didn't you bring up how his human parents also sold him#that's great material#cw: sa#cw: abuse
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Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)
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#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Another split type comic because I decided to be ambitious.#This flashback is currently beating my ass. There are so many timeskips within the flashback! My flow and pacing are wheezing!#I loved how this scene starts with the crowd's point of view. The observations and gossip add a lot.#And it helps reposition us to what the external perspective is on these two. Namely that 'they don't get along.'#Tensions are known! Even here in Nouveau Lotus Pier.#Ah...Lan Wangji never got a chance to see the Lotus Pier of Wei Wuxian's childhood and adolescence...did he?#It's not the same. He's not the same. Call them by the same name and people will know what you mean...#...but the first version - the one with the fond memories - is gone for good.#It's sort of interesting isn't it? How names can hold so much power and still be hollow?#We often get stuck over past versions of things. Be it ourselves or other people or places.#Change is scary but the truth is nothing ever stays the same. It's always moving. You're always moving.#It's okay to mourn the past. Maybe it's people you lost or the person you hoped to be. Let yourself feel the grief.#And then? Then you grow around that pain and keep on going. If you feel like you can't - remember you don't have to do it alone.#A side note: Listening to the tossing flowers extra is so essential for this scene. It's cute and gives us more of [redacted]#What's [redacted]? You'll see in the next comic!
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I feel like the only way I can describe the tragedy of Hornblower chronology is that there is a horizontal asymptote at "Consistent Essence of Hornblower" and a vertical asymptote at the space between Atropos and Beat to Quarters/Happy Return, and his character arc is the line -(1/x)
#still trying to figure out how to explain it and this is the best i've got#it's like. he's moving towards a point he's developing as a character#and then suddenly boom! he falls into the hole of Original Trilogy#and you're seeing the whole graph too. you can see it all you know how weird and incongruous it all is#this is a very half-baked idea but idk asymptotes are fun#hated them and always found them deeply unsatisfying but then again perhaps i felt the same way about tragedy in high school so#perce rambles#hornblower#wrote this post several months ago and i'm not sure if i fully agree with this assessment but there is *something* going on#it's about the fact that the original books which were written later offer so much more for his character#but he's stuck in the later ones and he can never escape idk#percy yells at cecil scott
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Some days (nights) just feel like loss
#not sure what else to say abt that bc thats it thats all of it#like a firework show reminder of everyone thats just dropped out oftour life#and like you're the only one watching the show the only one thinking abt them bc theres no way the grief you feel for them is reciprocated#or not to the same degree bc well surely the silence isnt killing them#and its like for some im still ::here:: i can still be found but theres no hand reaching out to reconnect & maybe one side always held more#more emotions more loss more love? it doesnt matter#im tired of watching the show and im tired of feeling the loss#and im tired of carrying the grief thats only mine bc how do you care less how can you not saying i miss all the moments and laughter & lov#so thankful for all the nows with all of you even if i get stuck the in haze of my connections of before#i dont know how to not care not miss or not think abt all these people that have moved on to other things and other lives and just not miss#things the same way as i do#so i just get sucked into the feelings from time to time but ill come out the other side and pack up the loss and the grief#until the next time when i pull it out and unfold it and crush into sand again#just to come out again and again and again
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I don't wanna come off as a jerk here, but I really dislike Quaver. Not her design, but her personality. I really hate it when people use Undertale Yellow's version of Integrity as their headcannon for the Integrity soul. Yes, Integrity did kill some monsters, but she only killed them in self-defense. Also, the monsters attacked Integrity first and she had every right to defend herself since they were after her soul. Like I said before, I don't hate Quaver, I just really hate how most people see the Integrity soul as a heartless and evil girl when that isn't the case at all.
Hey fair enough. And to be clear, Quaver's not evil. She killed a lot of monsters but they were trying to kill her so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I mean, she already had a standing hatred of monsters before she fell, but who knows, maybe if they didn't attack her first, she could've learned to overcome that and get along with them. Having the integrity soul be the most violent isn't what I would've initially chosen either, but like I said before, my human souls are all essentially a reaction to Clover, so I gotta work with what's there in undertale yellow canon. Still, I don't think that undertale yellow was trying to imply integrity as being evil either. The monsters definitely see her that way, with how they talk about the "snowdin incident", but it's a nuanced issue. To the monsters, humans are evil and they keep proving that by killing more monsters as they fall down. To the human souls, the monsters are evil as they keep attacking them just for existing. Our information about integrity in the world of undertale yellow is told to us entirely from the monsters point of view, therefore it's presented in a way that shows her in the worst possible light. That doesn't necessarily mean that the monsters are right about her.
So yeah I don't think integrity is meant to be evil in the world of undertale yellow, and she's definitely not evil in my interpretation of her as Quaver. She's a scared, angry kid who just had all her preconceived notions about monsters proven true when they attacked her after falling down. Of course she goes on the offensive. Whether or not she's right to do that is a matter of nuance and debate, but I digress
#its okay if you still dont like quaver you're entitled to your opinion#i just wanted to clarify shes definitely not evil#monsters vs humans is a topic i really want to use my versions if the human souls to discuss#i think a lot of people dismiss the human souls or justify the monsters actions towards them#(kind of including the game itself)#but the fact remains that they were all just kids#sure the monsters were kind of in an impossible scenerio here#stuck underground with yhe only way out to use the power of human souls#but what they did to the fallen humans is still horrible#anyways i'm rambling#i appreciate that you brought up how you felt without being mean about it#anyways#ask#undertale#undertale yellow#clover#Quaver#integrity#blue soul#human souls#fallen humans#integrity soul
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