#you're never gonna lose me
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This is one of those moments where I'm like, but this isn't Becky. Becky's a little more like you know what I mean, like she's not the pushover. This episode, Becky really felt like a pushover. -Jodie
Yeah. She has spent the last twenty minutes being angry at Jesse, So for her just to turn around in one little scene. -Andrea
#how rude tanneritos#full house#jesse x becky#becky x jesse#jesse katsopolis#john stamos#lori loughlin#love#4x1#madly in love#you're never gonna lose me#kiss#kisses#kissing
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love this moment where castiel just stands back to watch sam wistfully, but then dean sees him watching and has to be mean for No Reason At All <3
#15x01#losing spn brainworms is not a problem for me I can always just watch an episode determined by a random number :)#I had to stop every two minutes in this one to have samcas thoughts I am sooooo insufferable#anyway sorry cas you're never gonna get dean's blessing you should've just kidnapped him ig#sastiel#spn#*mine
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4 other applicants have come in clutch for the apartment I'm hunting. If I'm still eligible I'll know tomorrow, but only to be called for a showing, if the others in the queue accept and have better conditions than me, I'll lose it. But my agent is still hopeful. Fingers crossed.
#its not the end of the world if i lose it -- ill just lose time and have to search for another one. i really don't want that but yk.#shit never works out precisely how you want them to#i spoke to my brothers and another kinda viable option is to move to spain for a while and he will drive me and nana#i wouldn't mind but jesus. the hassle. but at least it's warm 💀#oki back to writing my concept slice of a hg called 'the healers hands' but I'll post about it tomorrow huhuhu#i have a few concepts that might turn into a game and some smut baking in the back of my mind as that is what is winning the poll#but i have to be honest. smut is so hard to write rn with everything... don't want to say exactly but#it's just a sensitive topic lmao. ill push through but right now im enjoying writing some cozier flirting instead. some tension. i love it.#hope you're doing well#also anon on smut commissions i will get back to you! hope you see this �� im just gonna decide what my main project will be and then!!
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I overshare online because I need constant validation that every thought and action of mine is Good and Okay and Normal. Surely this is a healthy coping mechanism
#something I'm trying to work through#comes from a hard mixture of autism (not knowing if what im doing is Normal behavior)#OCD (guilt loops that last for days weeks months on end)#ADHD (rejection sensitive dysphoria)#being raised christian (always being reminded that bad thoughts and actions will send you to hell)#and trauma from being heavily monitored as a teenager (very used to having every thought & action over-analyzed)#i have a constant craving for validation because of all of those things#which leads me to being a very self-absorbed person#i feel like if people aren't consistently telling me that im a good person then i must be horrible#im putting my emotional work onto others when i do that#making it THEIR responsibility to make me love myself#it's not healthy for you or anyone around you#you can't truly improve yourself if you're always relying on other people to verify whether or not you're okay#especially since everyone has different opinions & biases#if you never learn how to validate yourself you become completely reliant on others#and if you lose that outside validation everything will fall apart#even though i know these things i still haven't broken out of the habit#but that's another thing you have to give yourself grace for#you can't expect yourself to instantly adhere to new expectations#so you're gonna be hypocritical at times#you can't hate youself for that either it takes time to break habits#you need to find the line between self criticism and self hatred#love yourself Or Else. literally.#.bdo
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god . . . stories have never been more important to me than right now, huh
#caroline talks#me going 'star wars save me....save me star wars'#and then going 'atla save me.......save me atla'#just like. oh yes what do u do when you feel like you're fighting a losing battle#me sitting here like '.....but. but i'm so young? what the hell can i do???? i didn't . . .. i'm not ready for this right now :('#but then also going 'ah fuck it. obi-wan was 25 years old when he was tasked with taking care of the chosen one'#'ahsoka tano was 14 when she was flung into war. aang was TWELVE'#and like it was never fair to have such young people try to do what they could in a broken world#but idk. idk idk idk#so. idk. in times like these i really do think about how my favorite fictional characters#had always taught me how to hope even when it's miserable and scary#so! so. gonna cling to that#after all. what are we but the stories we love
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Rest easy, my beautiful girl. I didn't even get to love you for two years but it was worth every minute. I'll miss your yelling so much
#tw pet death#she was sick when i got her from the shelter#and they thought she was about 7#i knew when i took her home i wouldn't have as long as i wanted#but i never thought i would lose her this soon#she improved! she was doing so good!#but she never really recovered when she had a major asthma episode last spring#and has been dropping weight slowly ever since#i was there with her the whole time#my greaterst fear was that she would pass alone while i was at work#but i couldn't risk that. so here we are#she hadn't eaten anything i could tell for the last couple days and had dropped another half pound#and even the vet agreed that trying the meds they suggested would probably only buy her a day or so#it doesn't make it hirt any less#it's a stupid tuing to go on about on a oublic site hen ive already told everyone close to me#but it feels better in a small way#she was special to me so everyone should look at her#I'm glad she isn't hurting anymore#but the gaping hole she's leaving in me so soon after i had to let my old lifelong cat go a couple years ago#is not gonna be filled for a long time#i miss you Siren#i hope you're sitting on my dad's shoulder in the beyond and yelling in his ear#and waiting for me
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Hey everything is getting so crazy and infuriating so I'm making a lot of posts about gentile antisemitism and I just wanted to say that to my like 5 or 6 gentile followers who actually reblog this stuff despite the inevitable backlash and ostracization that comes with being associated with Jews nowadays, I see it and I really really really REALLY appreciate it. Beyond what I can really articulate.
#Sorry this is dramatic but I'm emotional#Seeing literal honest to god porgroms getting justified in the mainstream narrative or just politely ignored#I think it's becoming clearer and clearer why there were so few righteous among nations during the Holocaust#And it's becoming clear who's actually willing to stick to their principles and stick their necks out about it when it means actually#Going against the social approval of one's peers#Sometimes I wonder why I still have so many followers after I shifted from a Fandom blog to 100% only talking about antisemitism#Bc I would have expected to lose most of my followers. Esp because it's not like anything I post or reblog gets almost any interaction#From my gentile followers. It's just jews and those 5 or 6 gentiles.#Yet I haven't lost thousands of followers. I've actually gained. And anything I reblog that's NOT about antisemitism gets like 30 notes imm#From random people who haven't interacted with anything else in a year. And I'm like.?? Why are you guys still here?#Don't you see that all I post about anymore is antisemitism? If you're not gonna care why not unfollow or block me?#I try to think maybe it's because some people want to hear about this and actually do see what's happening and the crazy antisemitism that'#Become normal. But they're scared of getting ostracized so they don't reblog but also dont unfollow. They never interact they just lurk#Maybe? I can hope. But either way. Those people if they exist when it comes down to it aren't willing to actually stick their necks out#So for the handful of gentiles that are. Yeah I definitely notice. Thank you.
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the thing is it's not just that you have to invent guys to genderbend into women so that you can headcanon them as lesbians and in love with each other instead of just caring about the actual lesbians we canonically have. ITS THAT THEY ARE STILL JUST PLOT DEVICES TO FURTHER THE MEN'S RELATIONSHIP
#we're never getting out i fear#you're the worst people in the world#this whole hotshots thing is gonna make me lose my mind i was having fun for a second there and then people had to piss me off#henren#911 abc
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“How long have you been here?” She prods, bumping her gently with her foot still keeping the couple of inches of distance between them. The storm had passed 20 minutes ago and Ava had insisted on exploring as much as she could before nightfall.
“Does it matter? There’s no use dwelling on the passage of time.” Beatrice can feel bitterness lingering on her tongue. It feels like rejection, it feels like Ava has peeled back the layers of Beatrice, glanced at her and decided no thanks. They’re sat on a lumpy rock, Beatrice can feel how worn it is and wonders when she started feeling the same.
Ava pauses, before bringing her gaze from the space below them to Beatrice’s eyes. “It does to me.” Ava has a soft look in her eyes that makes Beatrice want to lash out. She looks away, she doesn’t need this, whatever it may be, whatever Ava chooses to wrap under the word ‘care’.
She takes a deep breath, hoping to still her emotions of misplaced anger. It’s not like Beatrice to get emotional, but after years of isolation, she supposes it’s bound to happen. “Days, years, maybe decades, it’s been a long time.” Beatrice gazes deeply into the horizon, how many times had she wished for this, someone to share the sunset with?
Ava hums and Beatrice turns to look at her. Her face turns to the direction of where Beatrice was once looking, admiring the view. Ava’s face is illuminated by the setting sun, she doesn’t have any blemishes or bumps on her skin. Ava is probably what humans would consider perfect. Beatrice doesn’t know what to think of her, doesn’t want to dwell on it either. She knows better than anyone what that could mean for her.
“For a such a shitty planet you’ve got a nice view.” Ava quips, Beatrice isn’t quite sure what she wants her to say. So she breathes, she closes her eyes gripping the rough stone beneath them and exhales.
“Yeah,” she can feel something rise in her. It balloons from the tips of her toes and forces it’s way up her throat. It curdles on her tongue bitter tasting, everything tastes bitter to Beatrice now. She swallows hard, wallowing in the silence procured between them.
“So, you’re like a MILF or something?” Ava jokes, Beatrice misses the uneasy expression on Ava’s face when she chokes and the smile that follows.
She hacks up spit from her lungs and feels the pressure in her throat loosen, “What?” Beatrice breathes raggedly as she clears her airway. “What could have led you to believe that?”
Ava has the nerve to look sheepishly as she shrugs her shoulders to her ears, “I mean DSP9 is basically your child? And you’re, uh,” Ava flushes as she frantically waves her arms between the two of them. “Yanno, um, h- attractive for your, um species? Race? You’re just pleasing to the eye, at least my eye. But not just pleasing! You’re like plenty smart! Living here on this desolate planet with so little you must be very fit, and survival-y.” Ava trails off blushing a profuse red.
Beatrice would be more concerned if her translator wasn’t struggling to decipher the speed of her words.
#so you're telling me a fish fried this shirimp?#a shrimp fried this frish?#a skhrimp fried this rice?#yeah i'm never coming back to this specific version of the story#found this collecting dust#not like anyone will miss the first version#this feels so awkward in so many places#anyway i hit a wall#the wall being i can't express any thing of anything to anyone or no one because then i will be perceived#and it's so horrible and so mind chomping because what the hell is hte point then#where the hell am I supposed to say very concerning life threatening sentences?#ooooh i'm pacing back and forth and beating my demons with a bat#i'm losing#what the fuck#like where am i supposed to go??????#anyway gonna try and self induce a spiral so i don't blow up on someone and say something i don't mean hahaha#and ruin my relationships with the people around me cuz it's not like that's not already happened happening#ok grandma lets get u to bed#before you start crashing out
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Anyway on another note I cannot explain to you just how Severely disappointed I will be if bnha ends with a confession ending. I hate confession endings outside of romance manga 😀
+big ass rant in the tags
#they do NOT need that rn#this isn't even about me mainly shipping either of them with other characters like i LIKE izch it's just that they need COUNSELING#I hateeeee “getting together makes everything better” endings they need a friend they need a shoulder to cry on they do NOT need romance#if I was in their situation I would not be able to dedicate myself to a relationship#Girl saves my life and then dies right next to me giving me all of her blood#Childhood friend dies comes back to life and then I lose all of the powers that I didn't even originally have and it still feels like#I'm responsible for saving everyone and having the world on my shoulders#like. dude#at least leave it open ended if there's a confession#bnha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha#Erased spoilers. surprise. I was so happy when Kayo and Satoru didn't get together at the end. That's how much I hate romance endings.#If the romance felt like a subplot it would've been fine but romance has never even felt like that in bnha#Like if it was supposed to be obvious then I guess I'm stupid#subplots are still significant parts of the plot there has to be a good amount of time dedicated to a romance if you're gonna go with#a confession ending PLEASE#THE MAIN PROBLEM WITH CONFESSION AND MARRIAGE ENDINGS IN NON-ROMANCE MANGA IS THAT THEY ARE ALMOST NEVER DONE WELL#tag rant
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Handing you .. fanart of your Juniper mask >:] I promised to myself I'd draw this ever since you dropped the design it's SO COOL!!! i hope you dont mind!
I'M GOING TO CRY YOU'RE TOO KIND OH MY GOD,,,,,,i NEVER mind ppl drawing my designs Im honoured you liked it so much to DRAW IT???????? I'm grinning like a bastard this has made my day, thank you so so so much
#screaming crying sobbing /pos#you're so kind im losing my mind over this#im never living this down you're so talented and you drew MY SILLY DESIGN??? overwhelming /pos#im so im so !!!!!!!!! AUUUUU#tysm like fr this means so much im so full of thank yous I've been rendered speechless#asks#[Agent: genebeanz]#[fanart]#<- AAAAAAAAA#ieytd#john juniper#im so. auu im gonna be riding this high all day#sobbinf........#im just staring at it man AUUAUAUA so kind im so im so i cant explain the emotion but i can feel it in my whole body#pure joy methinks#im a simple man.....one juniper drawing and all of a sudden im buzzing and then square that feeling because it's YOU????????#genuinely your comments on my art is such a huge inspiration to me for keeping at it man#this whole fandom has that effect in me tbh like it's so kind and close knit#auuu#okay im gonna stop rambling because I'll be here all day but one last time thank you oh my god#i react normally to things 👍/j
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Productivity
ENTJ: Do you know those moments when you’ve got so much to do that you have no idea where to even start and so you start making a list of things that are too unimportant to waste your time on right now? But at the same time you’re wasting time by not working on the things that actually are important. You’re just making lists of all the tiny aspects of your work that you can throw out just to make yourself feel like you’re doing something.
INFJ: No, I don’t know those moments. I’m less productive, you see. When I’m overwhelmed by all the stuff I have to do, I panic and stare at the wall for three hours.
ENTJ: You’ve been doing that a lot lately, haven’t you?
INFJ: ... yes.
#i feel like it has to be said that we only had this conversation because entj didn't have the motivation to work anymore today#so he came to my office to make me procrastinate with him together for an hour and then he left to do the same to our estj co-worker#he's such an idiot i love talking to him#every time i meet another NJ (which happens like once every 100 years) i slightly lose it a little#because talking to someone else with Ni is like suddenly being allowed to breathe#suddenly there's someone who actually speaks your language and there's never just one second of silence because there's so much to say!!#(is that how people with more common functions get to feel frequently? like SPs meeting other SPs? SJs meeting SJs?)#also it's very funny to be on the receiving end of the Ni stare because all of us NJs do that#so whenever you see two (not romantically involved) people just staring at each other's eyes for two hours you've found two NJs#my intj brother has a problem with eye contact actually but he STILL DOES THIS just not when you're looking too#this has nothing to do with the post but you know me#maybe i'll do a more elaborate post about the ni stare at some point#also i'm gonna post the list with the writer interviews very soon took a bit longer than i had anticipated and i still only have one isfp#but oh well what can you do#mbti#mbti conversations#entj#infj
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Saw a poll asking which fast food I'd give up for a week for a million dollars, and it's like I'd give up fucking food for a week for that price, there's literally nothing that wouldn't be on the chopping block when it's giving it up for a week
Not to mention I already barely have fast food once a month, and that's only if you count the costco pizza or burgers from the general store (which are more like backyard bbq style... like... the not great but not bad kind from a grill, you know?)
So... money please, I already won, pay me
#like I'm not even kidding about if I got it signed in a contract that I'd get paid; that I'd give up eating for a week for that much#pretty sure while it wouldn't be good for me I'd make it; and... that would only be like 7 less meals that week for an average week#I wouldn't be happy; I don't like being hungry (which is pretty much my forever state; I'm hungry as hell right now)#I know enough to know it would probably take a toll on me given the way I'll prowl the house over and over looking in vain for food#like it would be bad#but there's not a lot I wouldn't do for that kinda money; I'm not gonna pretend that a million isn't a price I can be bought at#basically no hurting anyone; nothing that would do permanent damage... really really gross stuff would cost more#but I don't pretend to have too much pride for this#if you're a sick freak with too much money hit me up and we can probably make a deal#anyway my real point in this post was just the fact that like... give up fast food for a week?#for that price I'd give it up for life; I lose at most costco pizza and perhaps food from the general store; though it isn't fast food#I don't like fast food much; it's already too pricey; you're paying me to do what I already want to do#and with that money I could hire someone to come to my house and teach me to cook#I could pay someone in town to get my groceries... it's a not brainer#hell; for like... mhh... ten million I'd never eat at a restaurant again; though there I'd like to negotiate exceptions to try stuff#like... make the deal that I can't go places regularly; and I can't loop hole this to just always be traveling#but that like if I travel to Japan or something I can try the restaurants there#...twenty five million and I never eat at any restaurant anywhere ever (I'd pay people to have me over for dinner)#one hundred million I never eat anyone's cooking again (I'd go to Japan for instance and pay someone to teach me to cook)#(have them eat with me to make sure I made it right; so I could experience it but no one else made it)#these are my prices#but for real; I never ever ever even go to restaurants; there's exactly one kinda high end pizza place I'd miss with that deal#and again... I'd just go in and pay someone to come help me figure out how to make it at home
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Ace as in I only fuck myself, and also go fuck yourself
#pics do it better#tf my favorite letters#your gf tried to cancel me because I wouldn't pet her#ha!#I get her wetter#no plans to ever bed her#she never let's you hit it cause you're ugly like a sweater#sweaty?#It's cause I'm bringing mad heat#Ha 🤣#she's comin on to me while you diss from the back seat#let's flex off I ain't scare#she said you ain't been there#got you losing your hair#ain't taking her nowhere#so what a cuck gonna do sir?#throw dukes up or puke up?#you're still gonna lose her
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Genuinely starting to regret going to that hiring event and getting this job. My boss literally Does Not Communicate Ever
#ramblings#neg#i feel like i'm going to go insane#i missed multiple days of work bc she never sent the schedule and i had no fucking clue i was supposed to go in#and she never fucking. said anything?? she never contacted me about it?? like#she said she sent it but obviously she fucking didn't#i go multiple days without showing up with no notice and she just. doesn't call or text or anything??#girl it's literally YOUR JOB to make sure i'm doing mine. what the fuck happened#and it's not like she doesn't have other contacts like she can very much call my parents if she can't get ahold of me#something similar happened on my first day. it got delayed bc of the snow and she never notified me#i wasn't gonna go anyways bc the roads were covered in snow. no way me or my parents were driving in that#but like i had to reach out and be like hey what's going on#but like THAT'S YOUR JOB YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE KEEPING YOUR EMPLOYEES UPDATED ON THIS KINDA STUFF#WHAT DID YOU LIKE. FORGET I EXIST??#it's been the same thing twice now where she says she sent a message but i never get anything#like at some point you gotta be like hm. maybe there's something going on#i'm so fucking mad rn i wanna bash my head into a wall#if she doesn't get this shit sorted out next time i'm gonna lose it bc how are you gonna let this happen more than two times in a row#i'm so tired. man. i hate it here#maybe i'm just overreacting but this does not bode well for my job#like is it too much to ask for basic communication with your employees#ugh
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i hate getting gifts because first of all are you trying to buy me make me feel obligated to you so I feel the need to be polite and sweet to you all the time and secondly once you inevitably leave what the fuck am i supposed to do with them
#bro these glow in the dark stickers on my ceiling#when i got them i felt so loved and adored for the first time in my life like wow someone#actually cares about me enough to listen to my wandering petty musings#and they comforted me so much at nights like there's light in darkness#now all i want to do is rip them off and burn them#but i already feel so alone in this house#i just feel like if i remove them then this house won't have anything of me like sure some of my clothes#are here some books but my bed was so messsy when i came mom was using it as storage and my study table#was completely unusable mom had put so much stuff like 5 suitcases under it and on top of it more stuff#like um okay i get that i was gone for 3 months but wow you wrote me off pretty quickly huh#like I dont belong here anymore#my dad already says that place isn't my house whenever he gets mad at me or when im not disciplined#like you guys. i wanted to move out at 18 you forced me to live here and now you're sick of me?#lol okay#fuck how will i ever get over this#i was watching that movie today and peter has abandonment issues and he got so upset when lj#was going to move away far from him he was like ok fine since u choose to go so far away let's break up now#because I dont want to wait till 5-6 months and then do it like let's just do it now#like that's such a classic me move being in control of when the relationship ends so you don't have to be there#when the other person completely loses interest and leaves you first#and you know how it got fixed? his dad told him that he loves him and that he's never gonna leave him again#like lol that's not gonna happen to me so i have to find a way to be ok without it#😮💨#pity party of one pls look away everyone
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