#being raised christian (always being reminded that bad thoughts and actions will send you to hell)

[tittyinfinity]

I overshare online because I need constant validation that every thought and action of mine is Good and Okay and Normal. Surely this is a healthy coping mechanism

[writingstudent]

Handle Me

Ivar x Reader 

Warning: possible triggers, mature themes

You shifted awkwardly in your chair, hands immediately going to smooth down the skirt of your floor length dress. It was not often that you wore such dresses, or any dresses for that matter. Being born on a farm and raised without a woman in your life, you were not a graceful being. You were a shield maiden, a fierce fighter. This has earned you several scars among your body, that littered it alongside the several tattoos that you had been given as sign of comradeship with your other fellow soldiers.

It was an understatement to say that you felt uncomfortable as you sat down next to the usual flower picking girls around the table. You were sitting next to Ubbe, who had Margrethe on his other side. He must have picked up on your awkwardness when you had first entered the dining hall and quickly motioned for you to sit down next to him. You were very grateful, and finally realized why almost all the women in Kattegat melted at the sight of him – not only was he attractive, but he was also a very caring man.

A hand suddenly clamped upon your lower calf. You let out a small yelp, and your battle reflexes immediately took over, making you take whatever you had in your hand (which happened to be a fork) and slam it onto the arm that was holding your leg in a vicious grip. Luckily for your attacker, he quickly moved his arm away. Your fork was now stuck halfway into the wooden floor, its hilt bent oddly towards a side.

“Impressive.”

A small growl left your throat at his condescending tone, and your mind was quickly clouded with anger. You whipped your head around, and crabbed your attacker by the collar of his shirt, snarling in his face. That is when you realized, that you were looking at Ivar’s mesmerizing blue eyes. Odin.. you thought. You were holding Ivar Ragnarsson up by the collar, while snarling menacingly at him. It was worse than writing, signing and sending your death wish to the gods. Your lips were also a few mere centimeters from Ivar’s plump pink ones.

“Now, I do like it when a woman knows how to manhandle me.” You could taste the ale in his breath due to your proximity. You shuddered at his sultry tone, needing to take a deep breath to resettle yourself. You quickly let go of his collar, letting him fall back to the ground unceremoniously.

Ubbe next to you chuckled, clearly amused by the scene he had just witnessed. “Are you alright Y/N? I have to say, it is certainly a pleasure to see a woman finally be able to put Ivar back in his place. ” He laughed whole-heartedly, getting louder at your horrified expression.

“E-excuse me, my reflexes took over.” You lowered your head in shame, nervously tugging your dress lower to cover your legs again. The ink that swirled around your lower thighs and the back of your knees covered the scars that you could not help but hate looking at.

The small bench you were sitting on shook slightly as Ivar heaved himself onto it, smirking as he made sure to keep very little space between the two of you. “Ivar, I don’ -”

You were cut off from protesting as Aslaug stood up, demanding silence in order to make a toast. It was an unwritten rule that one was not to leave the table or change seats since the delivery of the toast – unless such is requested or approved by the queen. You did not wish to fall out of her good graces, and hence you could do nothing to offend her crippled son, which she watched and fawned over constantly.  

“The gods have blessed us on our past raid! We have shown these Christians who we are, ruthless, violent and blood-thirsty Vikings. We have to thank our fiercest and most notable fighters – Ubbe, Y/n, Sig-…. ”

The list went on, but you had drowned out the sound of the rest of her speech. Pride bubbled in your chest, as you grinned lazily at the queen, winking as you lifted up your cup towards her. She didn’t seem to be able to resist the temptation to laugh at you and nod approvingly of your gesture.

You could feel the curious glances of the Vikings weighing upon your body, looking you up and down as if to seize you up and understand how you could ever be a fighter. But there was gaze that seemed to burn you. You did not have to look at him to feel his eye shift, frantically scanning over your face and then lowering to your chest abdomen and to your legs. You weren’t sure if you wanted to turn your head or not – on one hand, you could have told him off and ended the awkward sensation of tinkling throughout your body, while on the other you could have simply remained quiet, and would not have to burden yourself with seeing his reaction. The cold fingers of a shiver traced your spine. His reaction.

He kept looking, but this time his gaze was lingering well below your chin, and focusing on your body instead. Your shoulders, too wide after all the training and preparing for battle, your stomach too strong to hide properly within the corset of the dress. Then came your legs. You grimaced simply thinking about them. You had been severely injured multiple times in battle, leading to your legs becoming a fascinating display of scars. You hated them, and always felt uncomfortable at their sight. They had grown old, and no longer protruded your legs’ natural shape, but instead simple marked your skin with odd patterns of light – like an artist scratching out his unwanted sketch. Unwanted, that is what they were.

You had attempted to cover them up with ink, but nevertheless they were not as feminine and elegant as they once had been.

You tense suddenly when a calloused hand grabs onto your knee. It does not move, yet instead it holds you forcefully, giving you a slight squeeze.

“What were you saying Y/N?” His breath fanned upon your neck, spreading a searing warmth throughout your body – adding to that of his gaze.

You gulped. “I don’t think that we should sit so close together.”

Hurt quickly flashed upon his face, but was replaced with his capricious fury. “What?” He hissed, pulling your knee towards himself and making you face him in the process. “Are you afraid of sitting next to the cripple?” His tone was getting lower and so was the volume of his voice, but his words were getting as menacing as ever. “Are you afraid that my legs will somehow infect yours? That you will not be able to flaunt anymore, or go around as the battalion’s hellcat?”

You squared your shoulders, relaxing as you arrived back into your familiar territory of sentiments and discussions. As a woman, you were often accused of such actions, and being a shield maiden you were one quick to violence.

You stared him straight into the eyes, challenging him purposefully this time. You were blinded by your own uncontrollable anger, and you could feel your fear and uncertainty slip away instantly. He wanted a show? He will get a show.

“Why? Did you sit next to me hoping that your legs would learn from mine?” Your snarled back at him, your upper lip lifting slightly in repulsion at the force he was applying to your kneecap.

His eyes widened and a hand quickly wrapped around your throat, squeezing it mercilessly and almost blocking your air passageway. You continue glaring at him, nearly unfazed by his violent reaction, but your face softens as you look down at your legs. You spent what seemed like hours in this silence, knowing that you would have a blooming bruise on your throats the next day. "There's nothing to flaunt anyways" you rasped out, your voice sounding very airy due to Ivars hold on your neck. Confusion took over his features, and he slackened his hold. " Why? " " it's nothing that anyone would want to see. Wake up Ivar, look around you. There are plenty of pretty women, elegant and gracious, made for the soul purpose of ring wives. Even the servants and slaves would look better." You were whispering now. Ivars hand simply rested on your neck, no longer doing anything to harm you. But these words did. These thoughts. Why were you telling him anyways ? It's not like he could have ever understood. He was a prince, and a man for that fact, he took whatever he wanted. " Why would anyone want me if they could have anyone better?” 

“Darling,” Ivar drawled out, his sarcastic demeanor returning, “do I need to remind you that you are sitting next to the cripple?“ A puffed chuckle passed through his lips. 

He took his hand away from your neck, but his other found its way back to your calf, kneading it softly. He leaned in closely, “I do not believe that they are as bad as you describe them to be. How about you let me the judge of that tonight? ” 

Your heart hammered into your chest, excitement rushing through your veins. Gods, what you wanted to do to him. In just a few minutes he had made you shy, furious, uncomfortable and back to a stuttering puddle. 

Ivar’s calloused hand began sliding up dangerously, snapping you out of your thoughts immediately. 

 “Plus, like I said before, I wish for a woman who can handle me. I lust for a warrior, fierce, cunning and beautiful.”Ivar added , after having sensed your discomfort. “You Y/N, seem like the perfect choice.” He nipped at your earlobe teasingly. The sound of your name rolling off his tongue pushed out a quick gasp, your mouth watering at the sensation. 

“Now, the question is, can you handle me, darling?” 

You once again found yourself staring in his sea blue eyes, remaining mesmerized. You didn’t have time to think before you crashed your mouth onto his. The passion in your kiss was feral, your teeth clashing as neither could restrain themselves. 

Yes, you certainly could. 

[bichristian]

In Which a Dog Taught Me How to Do Matthew 18:15 the Right Way

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. Matt 18:15 (NIV)

Yep. A dog. A Portuguese Water Dog, to be specific. His name is Cashel (his sister’s name is Gallway’s Girl, so there’s some sort of theme with the naming I think). It’s a bit of a story, so bear with me. Skim over the first bit if you like.

Now, I’ve grown up with dogs. I’ve petsat dogs before; I have never petsat a dog like Cashel.

I was raised in a military house. I watched my family train dogs to be obedient. We also went for wheaten terriers (think docile and not too bright), though more for the kid-friendly/non-shedding factor. Yes there was a system of rewards, but we expected a grown dog to respond to commands WITHOUT continual praise or rewards. All the dogs I’ve petsat will at least respond to my call to come. And let me sleep.

Cashel is... not that dog.  He is strong willed, barks at me all the time (very loudly), is obstinate, tries to steal anything and everything off the counter (including my medications) and continually wakes me up (I haven’t gotten a solid six hours of sleep since starting this gig). There are other things, but this comes off the top of my head (oh, he also refuses to come when called; if he comes it’s cause I bribed him or he feels like it). His sister is not like this (she’s like him scaled down; she’ll at least be somewhat reasonable), so it’s not ALL nurture. He was at least partially born an ass (a butt, if you wish to be PG). Based on what I know of the owners, these dogs are Spoiled.

Today it came to a head. I am under orders to make sure they go out (and have been woken often enough even when I do this) before bed. Cashel was... not really doing that. It became a barking-ordering match. Eventually I gave up, cause I was exhausted and Done (reminder that I am on sleep deprivation for the last five days; those of you with depression/anxiety know that this is a good route to a nervous breakdown). It took a treat to just get him back inside, because apparently he was Done with me.

Long story short: he refused to go to the bedroom with me (a requirement from the owners) and for a bit refused to even let me touch him. Eventually I managed to bribe him with a treat enough to let me pet him and I gave him a good rub down. Still took a trail of treats to get him into bedroom, but that eventually got me back into his good graces.

This made me realize that I was going into this gig with the wrong sort of strategy. I was expecting them to be like the dogs I had grown up with and looked after; essentially, ones that responded to commands and had been trained in a specific way (or any way). Cashel needed some encouragement and love if he was going to work with me. And it wasn’t like I was trying to be selfish. If he consumed people food, it could mess with his stomach. If he ate my pills, he could poison himself. If he doesn’t go outside, self explanatory issues happen.

In the end, I truly only want good things for him (even if he gets on my nerves). Which means he has to follow some rules, even if he doesn’t like it. And rather than the usual commands, I have to use a bit of love and affection (and treats) to do the convincing for me.

The point of this long-winded story (I’m chatty when I am sleep deprived) is this: I have seen Christians approach discipline the same way. And in many ways we have justified the “plank vs speck” retort. However, as Jesus said, confronting your brother or sister about sin is not necessarily being a hypocrite. It’s not about throwing the first stone. And it’s something we should do. But how you do it matters. You cannot come from a place of judgement. Remind yourself that their sin isn’t worse or better than yours. In the end, without Jesus it’s going to send us all to the same place anyway. It’s not about self-righteousness or making them feel bad about themselves.

Instead, you must come from a place of love. You must approach your confrontation with a kind, gentle, loving mindset. This is for them. This is for their good. You are doing this because they’re doing something that is not good for them. God doesn’t put in the laws for no reason. It may be a sin that ruins their relationships (lying, cheating, stealing), hurts themselves (alcoholism), or hurts others (gossiping, adultery); and yes, I know that some overlap categories, but moving on. Whatever it is, God told us we shouldn’t do it for a reason. Since he’s an omnipresent, omnipotent God, it seems like he might have a good idea about what is and what isn’t good for us.

Think of it as how you would help a friend fix a broken relationship, because that’s what it is. Their sin is hurting them, and their relationship with God. Always emphasize the love. That you love them now, just as they are, just as God loves them. And that you want the best for them. Should they respond positively, don’t end the conversation there. Offer to help them, be it an accountability partner, a willing ear, or whatever they may need. Friends and support are vital in those times.

Do all things in love, in kindness, and in faith. Before, during, and after, be strong in prayer so that the Holy Spirit may guide your actions and thoughts. Do not be frustrated or allow yourself to become angry if they respond defensively or angrily (it doesn’t help). Speaking from personal experience, it’s not fun to be told you’re doing something wrong. Especially something that is disappointing or angering God. No matter what happens, keep them in prayer. Either that their hearts may be opened, or that God will continue to help them while they work on confronting and battling their own sin. Though don’t forget to pray for yourself and your own fights. God doesn’t forget about you and your struggles.

May God bless all of you, give you joy and and peace, and keep love in your hearts for all your days. GLYASDI.

[inmomni]

No. 14b

I. Intro/Premise:

Hi, my name is Inmo, i am a senior biological studies major at Biola University. I’ve grown up in the church all my life, and I am currently a frustrated, working past it, christian who doesn’t work as advertised.  

This became clear to me after my youth group’s 2015 winter retreat that i got “saved” for like, the third time that my best friend and i had an interesting conversation about our sin. I remember we were on a night hike with a few other of my church friends when i suddenly started to get a strong urge for a cigarette.  I hadn’t had one since the start of the winter retreat, which was about two weeks ago then and a long time for me.  It brought up this kind of frustration in me.  Not because the craving was getting worse, but because i had just been “saved,” again. See in my mind, if you were with Jesus, you should be the farthest away from sin because of this new found love that you have for Jesus now; so in turn, that would make you naturally hate sin, ya know? Sharing the comment with my church friend, it sparked some talk about the fallenness of man and how we innately fall away from God, you know the gist, and we went on for about an hour when pent up with frustration about how i still want sin after all that God had shown me, after knowing what He did for me, after experiencing how much He loves me,

I said, “I wish God could just make us love him so much right now that we would never dare to sin again.”  

II. Idealistic Picture vs: Reality

Idealistic: [See], I thought I knew what a christian should look like. I’ve been to church all my life, so that being said, I think I have a pretty good idea of what an idealized modern day non-Jesus Christian would be like:

Prays for at least 30 mins a day, an hour if it didn’t cry at all to “push through and seek the Lord”….Or an hour if you did cry cause, you cried and you had a moment with Jesus.  

Reads the word every day without fail, even if you don’t have time for it cause you’re too busy serving, you get it in somehow by listening to an ESV ebook bible or through your 2min New Morning Mercies.

Just exudes Jesus everywhere they go, like to the point where you feel so sinful if you’re around them, but somehow they’re so humble that it doesn’t even cross your mind.

Raises their hands every single worship song at some point in the chorus and definitely the verses cause no one raises their hands for those

Every single conversation they have in passing turns into some life changing prophetic revelation for both parties involved

The list can go on.

Past Reality:

As you can see, I think a lot, my mind is always racing, and in science and especially in theology i really like to understand things and how they work, I need sequential process.  So if I don’t understand something, I will just sit there until I get it to take an action on it. I need to know what to do, I need direction, and I need it NOW. So in grappling with my newfound faith during my early high school years, my sinfulness, how to pray, what to think during worship, how to know if I’m being genuine, what I need to be feeling when I encounter God, and i started picking away at my own faith with my doubt.  And with doubt, I froze, because I didn’t understand it, and because I didn’t understand it I would question if I was a christian at all because I didn’t act the way I thought i was supposed to.  I didn’t reach out to leadership, I didn’t ask my pastor or small group leader any questions I had, how to walk in the faith, I simply took what I saw, held up myself against that standard, and graded myself accordingly.  And because I wasn’t doing well with the Lord, all other areas of my life would suffer, my overall mood, my motivation, my assurance in God and his character; nothing was stable. So I started to seek refuge from my reality in things like video games, anime, kdramas, sleeping, and slowly that evolved into trying weed for the first time, and then turning that into an everyday thing, with a daily goal of escaping reality and forgetting how terrible of a person I am. I was open to having fun, cause my life didn’t offer much as it was, and because all of this relied on how i felt, it wouldn’t be like this all the time, maybe just months at a time, sandwiched by seasons of “doing alright”, or a year on, and a year completely clean because God did graciously meet me in those moments, but nothing really changed, even if it was a year away, it doesn’t change the fact that I failed.

There emerged a very cyclic pattern starting since senior year of high school:

Summer is so good, it’s great, restful, had a bunch of fun, ready to get back to work

Fall initially is really good, meeting up with friends, keeping up with academics, motivated, I’m doing okay with God, reading here and there, not consistently, but reading at least, not doing bad things and such… then it starts to drop off around late October. I start getting less motivated, missing more classes, sleeping in more, trying to escape reality more.

Winter is super bad, just bummy lazy disgusting, right up until finals week approaches from where I jump up out of bed and turn into a study machine.

This carries on past spring and then probably into summer again. Then it repeats.

Recent past reality: 

This cycle got worse every single year, until last year, my junior year, when I failed 3 classes second semester.

It was my junior year, and I’m a bio major.  I’m trying to become a doctor, but now I’m not even sure of that anymore.  

Present Reality:

If I’m honest today… I’m a slob, my sleeping schedule is a mess, I’m not even properly eating and what the heck is up with that. I don’t go to the gym anymore. I’m not loving on the people that are close to me well at all. I feel so selfish and twisted. I think myself into a pit, dramatically breaking apart my own self confidence and credibility to myself.

It’s easy for me to think: “God, I feel like such a failure. I’ve tried so hard, my bootstraps ripping into the palms of my hand, to be a Christian, to stay in the faith, but it’s too hard. I don’t get it, and i don’t understand it. If i did, then maybe i wouldn’t be like this.  If i was a christian, I wouldn’t be doing X, Y, and Z or i would have fixed this part of myself ages ago.  I should have had a consistent routine with God by now, talking with him, I should be the ideal christian by now.”  IF I had truly been a christian up til now, holy, I’ve lived 21 years exposed to the gospel, and I don’t know how to do this thing. I should just give up.” I couldn’t even trust myself, the feelings and emotions I had, my all my actions can be accompanied by an army of voices questioning my intentions for everything.  Everything was falling apart, my future, my faith, my academics, nothing was solid, nothing was stable, the way I am right now, I can’t even pick myself up again. I can’t do this.

III. Realization & God-centered Reality

But that’s when it became clear to me.  If you’ve noticed by now, I’ve used the word “I” so many times up til this point. God just started highlighting all of the I’s I used, and he started replacing them with His name.  and it all started to click.  Maybe the reason I failed all these times was to bring me to a place where I could say, with my heart inside out, “God help me please, I don’t know what to do.”  I tried to do things my own way for 3 almost 4 years now and i failed every single time, maybe it’s time to look towards God and not myself.  

God reminded me of a passage in Numbers 21:6-9 where it talks about God sending fiery serpents to the people of Israel.  In short, God sent fiery serpents to the people of israel because of their disobedience, killed a lot of people, then told Moses to construct a bronze snake so that people could look at it and live.  Notice God didn’t say be healed from their afflictions.  He just said that they would live, like NIRV even says that they “remained alive”.  So what are the takeaways here for me? As you live your life, with or without God, you’re going to get bit, like 100%, when God said he sent serpents that killed many, I’m sure it wasn’t just a heist size group of snakes that ravaged the entire population, but a disgusting amount of serpents.  You can try to fend for yourself, or you can look up at God and get through this thing with him.  

The amazing thing is, that when I look to him, I see the moments where God affirmed me in my spiritual growth, all in retrospect of course.

I remember a time at Chick-fil-a with the same Caleb after serving at VBS where one of these moments happened. We had just finished up a day where the theme was the good news.

I started asking him about what he thought of the entire day that we just ran through. He responded with a “It was kinda weird”, not really a straight answer, but to see more what I’m thinking.  I started explaining how they didn’t do the gospel justice, how this wasn’t something that was deserving of being rushed or just gotten over with, especially if it is for these kids.  At one point, some guy paraphrased the gospel to,

“uhh we sinned, Jesus died on the cross for them, and, oh shoot were out of time, can the crew leaders explain the rest on the way to the next station” Everything was so rushed, paraphrased, cut off, I understand we were pressed for time the entire program, but dang did this topic deserve more respect.

I was getting really emotional, and tears started running down my eyes at which point caleb asked me why I was crying.  I didn’t understand his question, until i remembered that all the conversations we had and all the things he’s seen me do don’t point to an impassioned college student upset because his church’s VBS didn’t do the gospel enough justice when presenting it to 5-10 year olds.  That was when I realized God has taught me the weight of his gospel

There were other instances like this:

When i first got to Biola, and I hated it, but God told me through the` song i hated the most during high school  (Christ is Enough) that though i may think that i failed because nothing went to plan, its all according to his. He’s bringing me to a place where I can say Christ is all I need, and he placed that desire in my heart.

Placing me in Torrey, a great books program at Biola,  so that I would have a deeper knowledge of the word and how to converse with people, to have that show up at a party filled with a bunch of non-christians who were talking philosophy of a higher being and of a purpose in life

Seeing that through every cycle of highs and lows, regardless of how low that low was, I still came back to a place where God met me.

IV Conclusion:

To be honest, I still don’t fully know what I’m doing.  I’m trying to read more.  Pray more, I don’t know what it looks like to do what I said just now, or what that actually looks like.  But regardless of what I know, or what I understand, God is doing things behind the scenes for my good.  That there is no other reason, there can’t be any other explanation than the grace that God gives me and sustains me with.  In this most darkest season of my life, I have never understood more clearly what it means to work out your faith with fear and trembling, to know that I am a christian despite all my crap, and that despite how hard I may want to leave, not even I can pluck myself out of God’s hand, because of the way He’s been teaching and shaping my heart. He’s locked me in.  Once you know, you know, with this sort of thing if you know, if you’ve seen or tasted just a fraction of his grace, you cannot go back. Grace prepares the heart for salvation, it is grace that one receives salvation, and it is through grace that salvation is sustained and sanctification is occurring.  I don’t know how I got here and how to get to where I need to be, but I just know that God’s got this.  

So I’m just going to take that and run.

[romancatholicreflections]

22nd Oct >> Daily Reflection/Commentary on Today’s Mass Readings (Isaiah 45:1,4-6; 1 Thessalonians 1:1-5; Matthew 22:15-21)for Roman Catholics on the Twenty-Ninth Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle A

Commentary on Isaiah 45:1,4-6; 1 Thessalonians 1:1-5; Matthew 22:15-21

Isaiah 45:1,4-6; 1 Thessalonians 1:1-5; Matthew 22:15-21

IN PAST SUNDAYS we have seen Jesus attacking the religious leaders of his people for their failure to recognise in him the Word of God, the power of God, the compassionate love of God. All they could see was a man who broke their laws.

Today, in the first of four challenges by different leaders, they hit back. Their plan was to get Jesus to discredit himself. The first challenge, in today’s Gospel, comes from the Pharisees. Their deviousness is seen in the delegation they sent – a mixture of their disciples (not themselves) and some Herodians.

It was a strange mixture because Pharisees and Herodians were bitterly opposed to each other. The Pharisees were rabid nationalists and totally anti-Roman; the Herodians were willing to collaborate with the Romans hoping to benefit from it. In the language of today, they would be called “appeasers” or “fellow travellers”. It was a perfect example of the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Both sides hated each other but they hated Jesus even more and both had scores to settle. Or did they hope by sending such a mixed delegation that Jesus would be thrown off the scent of their real purpose?

Their opening statement is clever and very flattering. They praise the utter honesty and integrity of Jesus. All of which was perfectly true. Jesus, in fact, is being praised as endowed with God’s own sense of truth and justice, totally impartial, with perhaps a bias for the poor, the weak and powerless.

And it is precisely in this strength of Jesus – telling it like it is without fear or favour – that they hope to entrap him.

Deceptively simple

After this flattering softening up and linguistic foreplay comes the apparently straightforward question: “Is it against our Law to pay taxes to Caesar or not?” In fact, this seemingly simple question turned on a red-hot issue. Palestine was a colony of Rome, a very unwilling and troublesome colony. The Jews hated the Romans, hated their brutality, their moral corruption, above all their godlessness. So, the nationalistic Pharisees felt that the taxes should not be paid to the oppressor. It was, one might say, an early version of “No taxation without representation”. On the contrary, for the Herodians, collaboration with the Romans was seen as beneficial.

It was a loaded question, something like the old chestnut “Have you stopped beating your wife?” If Jesus said taxes should not be paid, he would have pleased the Pharisees but they could report him for sedition and have him arrested. If he said taxes should be paid he might please the Herodians but almost certainly he would lose all credibility with his own people.

The Jews believed that they had only one Lord and Ruler and that was their God. Taxes, or any form of submission, should only be made to him, by offerings made in God’s Temple. So today’s First Reading from Isaiah makes it clear that Cyrus, one of the great kings of antiquity with enormous power and who had made vassals of the Jews, was seen as never more than an agent doing God’s work.

Hypocrisy

Jesus, of course, is perfectly aware of the dangers in giving a straight answer. He accuses them of gross hypocrisy in setting this trap. They have no desire to know the answer. They have their own answers already. Their only intention is to lay a trap for Jesus to hang himself with.

Jesus asks them to show him a coin. He asks to know whose image and what is the inscription on it. The head was that of Tiberius Caesar, the Roman emperor of the day. The inscription would have read, “Tiberius Caesar son of the divine Augustus, great high priest”. Caesar claimed not only political sovereignty but also divine attributes. Worship of the emperor was seen as a test of loyalty to the not very religious central government and would soon become a major issue for the early Christians as it was already for the Jews. For both groups, worship given to the Roman emperor could be nothing but idolatry. Even though, for some, it was seen only a matter of formality, Christians and Jews took it very seriously and many were martyred for their refusal to bow to the emperor. (Different kinds of emperors still produce martyrs in our own day.) And it reminds us of how many Christians – including China today – who refused to acknowledge the absolute power that Communism claimed over their lives. It is basically the stand of the “underground” Church in China and for that many have paid a high price over the past 50 years.

A famous reply

Jesus then gives his famous answer, “Give back to Caesar what belongs to Caesar – and to God what belongs to God.” The answer should not be understood cynically and in line with those who thought that no allegiance at all belongs to the ruling power (e.g. the terrorist or anarchist line), nor, on the other hand, that a civil power has the right to demand total submission of its subjects. No state can claim to itself divine powers of absolute authority (e.g. atheistic dictatorships). All are subject to the higher demands of truth and justice and the inviolable dignity of the person centred in God.

We all are, in some way, the citizens of two kingdoms: citizens of the political territory where we belong and citizens in God’s Kingdom. As Jesus says, they both require certain loyalties from us.

We all depend to a large extent on our civil government. In modern times very few people can supply their own water, electricity, telephone system. There are many other services which only a civil authority can provide, such as education, hospitals, roads, welfare services for the unemployed, the handicapped, the elderly…

It is obvious that if these are services are to continue and even be improved they require the cooperation and support of the community at large. We do this for the most part through paying taxes. Taxes are not just a necessary evil. In a just administration they are our contribution to making the services we take for granted available. In a just tax system, too, we help to spread more evenly the wealth of the community so that each one has access to what they need for a life of human dignity.

Supporting our community

There are many other ways, too, in which we can give our support to raising the quality of life in the community. All of this can be seen as “giving to Caesar what belongs to Caesar”. One, unfortunately, does meet people whose only interest is in seeing what they can get out of the community for themselves and their immediate family with no intention of ever giving anything back.

But we are also citizens of God’s Kingdom. For much of the time, there is no conflict between “Caesar” and God but not always. We do sometimes, from the standpoint of the Gospel, have to criticise our government’s actions or non-actions. Sometimes we have to refuse to obey our government. In South Africa’s apartheid system, many Christians were forced to violate the immoral laws of their government. In the United States, both black and white people violated the segregation laws operated in many states. In the name of truth, justice and human dignity they had no option.

And we need to realise that when we really love our country and its people, then we may have to stand in strong opposition to the authorities on certain issues. Of course, the authorities will try to present such people as traitors and a threat to the stability of the country. But such people, who show they care, often have a far greater love for their country than the so-called “silent majority”.

Two responsibilities

Today’s Gospel makes it very clear that we have two responsibilities: to the government of our country or territory and to God. Where both are in harmony there will be no conflict. Wherever there is immoral or unjust behaviour against people’s dignity and rights, then there has to be conflict. Such conflict is not always bad. On the contrary, it is because of creative conflict that our society makes progress. Provided we always act in a positive and creative way, “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15), then the flawed kingdoms that men build can, in time, become the Kingdom of God. As a famous dissident – and martyr, St Thomas More, said: “The King’s good servant, but God’s first.”