#you're 18; about to be 19
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
can someone tell me why im being abnormal about a character i've barely touched the content of. like yay yippie i watched like 20 hours of you. there's fucking 80 years of content get me OUT OF HERE?
#yeah this is about nightwing. yes im a freak about him no i don't do well with comics#shout out to duke thomas in the we are robin comic i've had in my browser tabs for three weeks now#sorry king.#i mean i guess it makes sense because theres So many characters in media that you can't even get 20 hours out of . but. BUT ITS NOT FAIR.#i want to read comics so bad. i try to. i have. i've started several#blue beetle 2009 nightwing 2016... superman & batman world's finest#i was able to finish teen titans world's finest but that was only. like. six issues#comics as a medium just has this thing where. you're dropped in and it kinda expects you to know what's happening#and leaves you feeling like you started on the wrong page. like blue beetle. loved you but man that was not the greatest first comic to rea#wait i forgot i read hawkeye 2011(?) and that also had the same issue. but more so each installment like#felt like it was starting on a point AFTER something happened like i was meant to be reading another comic before i got to that issue.#i got. like. idk 18? 19? comics into that one. and 12 into nightwing. nightwing wasn't as bad but it just. gah. like several-issue long#stories carried across batman and nightwing and its like.OUGH.#i know im mutuals with a comic person. hi. i know you're cringing.#there are so many good characters to come out of comics. its just SO HARD to get into.#rn i dont have an excuse with We Are Robin. just that i've been infected with needing to play the sims for 8 hours a day.#mika-posts
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yuffie: You gotta admit - it's been awesome having me on the team, right?
Cloud: Hasn't been boring.
Yuffie: (fondly) You can say that again. It's been a real trip.
Cute Clouffie moment during the Jenova Lifeclinger fight.
They both have such a hard time admitting it, but they really do care for each other a great deal more than they're willing to let on (especially Cloud, with his usual too-cool-for-school attitude). Even though they might squabble like siblings at times, it's obvious that they have a soft spot for each other.
#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy 7#final fantasy vii#final fantasy vii rebirth#final fantasy vii remake#cloud strife#yuffie kisaragi#clouffie#cloud x yuffie#cloud strife x yuffie kisaragi#rarepair#rant#I swear if I hear one more fan describe Cloud x Yuffie as a “crack” pairing I'm going to start throwing things#crack pairing#“crack” pairing?#more like skill / media literacy issue#the ONLY issue with CxY is that Yuffie is sixteen in the OG setting#that's it#that's literally the ONLY issue with pairing these two characters together#and fans usually ship her with Vincent or Reno who are both older than Cloud you wanna talk about that I didn't think so#and for ppl clutching their pearls about Yuffie's age - she's 18 in AC and 19 in DoC so kindly STFU#they're already good friends who care for and trust each other so what's the fucking problem#and this coming from a fandom that thinks Sefikura is fine and normal#are y'all eating crayons or what?#one is pairing the protag with the person he hates most in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE and the latter involves pairing two close friends together#so don't ever talk to me about “crack” again you fkn braindeads#also introvert merc wolfy biker boy x bratty hyperactive ninja princess = based and hot as fuck#I'm right you're wrong just get on board with it already#Clouffie forever fuck the haters
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes its so crazy to realize that there's actually a lot of things i like. that i thought i didn't like because i was a depressed teenager. i love being outside! i love swimming! i love talking to people! even strangers sometimes! i love getting dressed in fun outfits and doing makeup! i love reading and going to art museums! i just thought i was doomed forever to a life of complete and total apathy and void! and now look at me! still a little shaky but i'm doing it!!!!!
#reaching back thru the spacetime continuum to grab 15 year old bunny and shake him by the shoulders a little bit and go hey!!!#it's not ALWAYS gonna be like this!!!#one day you're gonna be 23 and it'll still be like this sometimes!!!#sometimes you'll still wake up and feel it but it won't be all the time!!!!!!#you're gonna have friends who know you and see you even the ugly parts of you#and they're still gonna love you anyways!!!!! it's not over yet i promise!!!!!!#and then one day when i'm 34 i'm sure i'll think the same thing about me now#but until then! it's me and myself when i was 22 and 21 and 20 and 19 and 18 and 17 and 16 and 15#and 14 and 13 and 12 and 11 and 10 and 9 and 8 and 7 and 6 and 5 and 4 and 3 and 2 and 1
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#found a letter i wrote to my “18 year old self” when i was 10#god 10 year old me was so full of life#so ready to do things#she was obsessed with getting her way and working for it#now someone tells me to do hard work and i just. stop breathing#and ive fulfilled little me's wish of getting into BHU and still being friends with my childhood friends#but the last line. the last fucking line.#“its ok if you dont do any of that as long as you are happy and mumma and papa love you and are proud of you”#WHAT IF I CRIED#happy? mumma proud of me? what are those but little whims#mere fantasies that can never be fulfilled#10 year old shanti wished for something and did everything in her power to achieve it#she knew she wasnt talented and said “ok then hardwork it is”#19 year old shanti is tired. exhausted. done.#i know im not talented and i'll only get my way through hardwork. and i dont. fucking. want to.#is it even worth it?#im not even as happy as i thought id be#i want to be 10#i want to run around with scraped knees#to drink glucon-D and laugh with my friends about fart jokes#i want to reverse time#i want my mother to look at me with love#i want her to stroke my hair and feed me my favourite meal and tell me its ok if im mediocre#10 year old me had her fucking shit together and didnt know it#“i love you older me. you're amazing”#thank you younger me. i hope you. atleast. are proud of me.#shanti ki ashanti suno
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
actually still thinking about it. i hope everyone who responded to that posts being like "actually its fine if ppl in their 20s/30s have relationships with each other" with something like "yeah lol. like [x insane predatory age gap theyve witnessed or experienced] its fine" actually fucking chokes. no its NOT
#like. 23/30 relationship is NOT the same thing as a 45 yr old with an 18/19/20 yr old. its fucking not#you're all fucking sick.#and im sorry youve been lead to believe that its okay or healthy. and i hope you heal. sincerely#and also. i will fucking say that there IS a goddamn like. i think its weird when ppl in their mid to late 30s feel comfortable hitting on#young 20 yr olds. its weird. yes theyre both adults but its not just about Adulthood is also about maturity and power?? have we all fucking#forgotten this?????#.txt
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#''i know i give anders shit but at least he's *interesting* carver just sucks''#ma'am MA'AM#if you want to influence a companion so they like you better you have to USE THEM#you can joke about carver being an ass(he is) and say he sucks and never bring him along#BUT you're never gonna get friend/rivalry points to shift your relationship#it's possible to practically max his friendship in act one but you won't see that if you never bring him anywhere#doesn't help she's playing a sarcastic hawke so like#sure be dismissive and joke about his frustrations#that won't enforce his irritation at ALL#like a big part of why carver is the way he is is being an 18-19 year old KID who's had to give up what he wants for the good of the family#without even being asked his feelings on the matter#HIS WHOLE DAMN LIFE#he feels like his opinions don't matter and he has no control/choice in his own life#GOOD JOB REINFORCING THAT#i have a sneaking suspicion she's gonna wind up with templar!carver and that's just gonna exacerbate her opinion of him#it's just aggravating watching someone feed the self-fulfilling cycle#of ''carver sucks so i won't use him so our relationship stays static so carver sucks so-''#carver is one of the most fascinating characters in the game and it makes me aklnfjsbfjksbdsjkdb when ppl miss that bc they knee-jerk#write off any comps who don't instantly kiss up to the protag without trying to figure out why they're like that :|#i stand by saying she's doesn't have to like him! i do!#it's just frustrating when half of the REASON she doesn't like him is something she could DO SOMETHING about and she ISN'T#max friend!carver is AMAZING and it makes me sad so few people actually get to see it#/sigh#/end rant#sorry#maybe i should just skip to act two in this stream >.>#(a note: mechanically speaking i get not using carver bc she's using fenris and they're the same role#but again. not using carver means no friend/rival gains so not changing the relationship)
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
If I could impart one thing on the tumblr media discourse, it would be the idea of framing. Sometimes characters are bad on purpose. Sometimes they're bad on accident. Both instances say something about the story
#tbh? this is coming up in my brain because ive been thinking about gossip girl#the mikes mic video just came out#and i was like 'hang on. blake lively plays the exact same character in both gossip girl and sisterhood of the traveling pants'#but sisterhood is more meaningful and gossip girl is more. frustrating#probably because one frames livelys character as a vulnerable grieving teen who is not responsible for how adults take advantage of her#(more or less)#and one frames livelys character as an irresistable seductress. the dream girl. if you're with her youve one. shes the golden trophy#but let me be clear. serena has been taken advantage of by the adults in her life since she was a child#she cant grow because she knows no other way#but gossip girl isnt interested in that idea#also? theyre two different pieces of media with two different goals. im entertained by mikes recaps of gg. its pretty wack#its not bad. and i would even say its fun to like it. lily is mother and all that#it just like. it should give you SOME pause. if a 18/19 year old is dating a 26 year old married man because he finds her so irresistible#and the show frames that as 'yeah. thats serenas charm. shes the it girl'#then. thats bad lmao. that doesnt make me a purist#if youre with her youve won* lmao
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sorry for another vent post but here goes
#like i'm not looking for a relationship ok ? but i met this guy and we've been hooking yp#but like he is being all sweet and caring and he is great don't get me wrong#he's like eddie munson i'm not gonna lie#but at the same time he doesn't get my jokes and when i make a sarcastic comment or something funny he always thinks i'm being honest#and then he's too sweet if it makes sense in normal convos? BUT if i am ganuinely distressed (which i am a lot you guys know)#he is just not very emotionally intelligent 😬 and like it's all fun and wtv but i feel like he might like me more than i like him#and i called him babe once bc i had this girl friend who calls everyone babe and i spent like 3 days with her so i called him that#and now he always calls me babe and i'm like 😐 pls stop but i can't tell him to stop bc it will seem rude#and yeah my friends that know him are like he's such a cool guy and so sweet and everything and it looks like we're dating#but like we're not man we're not i met him a few weeks ago#anyway i think in reality i'm trying to find bad things about him just so i can justify not liking him and sabotage the whole thing bc +#+ i'm too afraid lmao#i think i'm emotionally unavailable and don't want a relationship or feel ready for it at all#i feel like i'm starting that age most ppl have at 18/19 of exploring and just vibing except i should have gone through that then#but i never got the change bc of abusive relationships and being at home and not having freedom to just exist#and now i do and i feel like if i start dating someone i'll lose my freedom again#which should not even happen in a healthy relationship but that's how i feel#maybe will talk about this to my therapist see what he says#i think i know what he will say like 'you're just afraid don't think about it too much tell him how you feel'#and i HAVE told him generally how i feel and that i don't want to move mad about it and he was like 'no were just getting to know eachother
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
it just occurred to me that by saying i ship matt with peter and/or jason some of u might think i want them to be a couple..... this is a dire misunderstanding and i'm so sorry i led u to think this. every ship i have with matt will always be unrequited. i want there to be a theme of jealousy and equating Getting The Love Interest with being A Perfect Dude in matt's life. and i want all of them to force matt to look inward instead of looking outward towards others/a relationship when looking to be fulfilled or to grow or to live. and also i want jason to haunt him forever. not his ghost, just the idea of jason, in matt's brain, forever
#wynn speaks#bare: a pop opera#matt's kind of like bobby from company to me in that he thinks he understands what a relationship/marriage is all about but he doesn't.#he doesn't. and CERTAINLY not in hs or college!#he has a crush/is in love w a friend bc they are the people he feels he knows the most in his small catholic community#when in reality he doesn't really even know himself that well#and neither do his friends understand each other as well as they think they do for the most part#and i don't mean that as in ''they are bad friends'' i mean that communication and understanding each other is HARD.#even when you're not a highschooler fighting for your fucking life#also and i cannot stress this enough. he is 18 going on 19#that little man has a lot of things in him and no grace to handle it with#the man simply can not get it#he has no game sorry. he doesn't know how to play he's a very good board flipper tho#he's the type of guy who gets relationship advice from teen magazines at the library in his early 20s
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
its equally amusing and confusing to me when i see people in their 20s or even just older teen refer to younger teens as like, kids that they want to distance themselves from. like girl i am 25 we are not that old
#spud.txt#turning 18 isn't like. a switch with only 2 states. it feels really strange to see a 18 19 yos act kinda. condescending about age#you gotta give yourself grace to be immature bc. you will be immature sometimes. you're legit not that old#i am not immune from the problem also sorry if this post sounds condescending sdhkgdsvsd#what i'm thinking about specifically is like... crediting some bad behavior to a whole age group
1 note
·
View note
Note
i think its verrry weird how you started posting nsfw posts and reblogging porn the minute you turned 18 idk
I hate to be the one to tell you this but I have been actively extremely horny since I hit puberty when I was like twelve years old. Human development does not work like "absolutely zero impure thoughts until you reach the designated legal sex age, where you have until 25 to finally learn what a boob is, and then 25+ you're allowed to have consensual sex 😊 because 19-25-year-olds are basically minors". I also can tell that the underlying idea in this ask is that I, and anyone who begins posting nsfw when they turn 18, was somehow "groomed" into it, when the fact of the matter is that I have been very naturally gay horny for years and waited until I was 18 to explicitly post about it because THAT'S how you keep yourself safe. You don't pretend to be a delicate sexless angel with the mind of a five-year-old who's never heard what sex is just because you're seventeen. I am a human being with sexual thoughts and I'm now a legal adult who is allowed to post about them. Realize that there is a difference between external adults "waiting until she's 18" and someone waiting until they themselves are 18 so they can go out and buy porn, which they've wanted to buy for years.
This is an extremely reductive, reactionary, infantilizing, and conservative way to speak to me. Don't even pretend you have progressive sexual politics if you think like this. Fuck yourself I'm so serious. No one ever speak to me this way again
28K notes
·
View notes
Text
Summary: Task Force 141 operates successfully without an omega, at least that’s what Price has been saying since its formation. Two alphas and two betas balance the pack just fine, and they have the numbers to prove it.
It works for a while, until the Omega Initiative is born and the 141 find themselves having to adjust to the sudden addition of an omega to their pack. Fresh out of an institute, you’re hardly fit for their secretive, dangerous world, or so Price thinks.
As each member of the team gets closer to you, things begin to come to light, not only about you but about the decision to force you into their lives.
Maybe, just maybe, Price was wrong and the 141 does need an omega after all.
Pairings: Poly 141 x reader, Price x Gaz, Ghost x Soap
Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, NSFW content, explicit smut, fingering, oral (m and f receiving), knotting, biting, claiming, mating cycles, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, age differences, military inaccuracies, canon typical violence, blood, weapons, language, no use of Y/N, brief torture, hurt/comfort, let's be real this is so unrealistic but it's a/b/o you're not here for accuracy.
Chapters containing smut are marked with a *
Updates are posted on the weekends, either Saturday or Sunday PST
This fic can also be found on my Ao3 -> HERE
I will no longer be using a taglist for this fic, please follow THIS BLOG and turn on notifications
**This fic is currently in progress**
NAVIGATION PAGE
CRCB DIRECTORY
Part 1 - The Omega
Chapter 1 - The Introduction
Chapter 2 - Adjustments
Chapter 3 - Speak Their Language
Chapter 4 - You Can Be Useful
Chapter 5 - What I Want *
Part 2 - The Bond
Chapter 6 - One Step Closer *
Chapter 7 - Sweet Strawberry
Chapter 8 - The Thing About Ghost
Chapter 9 - Save Me
Chapter 10 - Treat Me Gently*
Part 3 - The First Heat
Chapter 11 - It's Coming
Chapter 12 - Fire In My Veins*
Chapter 13 - Piece Me Back Together*
Chapter 14 - The Aftermath*
Part 4 - The New Normal
Chapter 15: Bonnie*
Chapter 16: Big Brown Eyes *
Chapter 17: Alone
Chapter 18: Don't Let Me Go
Chapter 19: Daddy Issues
Chapter 20: The New Normal *
Chapter 21: Crime and Punishment *
Chapter 22: I Won't Be Gentle
Part 5 - A Pack of Five
Chapter 23: Regrets
Chapter 24: The Last First Time *
Chapter 25: Animals *
Chapter 26: Fuck *
Chapter 27: Drown In It *
Chapter 28: Two Is Company, Three Is A Party *
Chapter 29: There's Something Wrong With My Omega
Part 6 - The Tragedy
Chapter 30: Butterfly's Wings
Chapter 31: Forced Proximity
Chapter 32: The Tragedy
Chapter 33: Ghosts of the Past
Chapter 34: The Whole Truth
Part 7 - The Aftermath
Chapter 35: Threads
Chapter 36: To The Sea
Chapter 37: The Silence
Chapter 38: Shattered
Chapter 39: Life
Part 8 - The Next Chapter
Chapter 40 - Where Do We Go From Here
Title card made by the beautiful @141wh0re
#call of duty#call of duty fanfic#call of duty x reader#cod x reader#141 x reader#task force 141 x reader#captain john price x reader#john price x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#kyle garrick x reader#gaz x reader#soap mactavish x reader#john mactavish x reader#x reader#a/b/o
9K notes
·
View notes
Text
nearly oc-tober time again - time for some prompts for 2024
F.A.Q
do i have to draw?
not at all! you are free to participate with any medium that suits you... writing, artwork, free bases and templates, simple text posts, in-character-as-your-oc roleplay, whatever! (just no stealing or AI)
do i have to make new content?
nope! re-uploading old stuff that fits the prompts is allowed (and encouraged) ... old art that didn't get the appreciation it needed always deserves a chance to be shared again, it's a fun throwback!
do i have to post every day?
nope! only 10 days are mandatory (the ones in red with a star symbol) and everything else (yellow) is 100% optional! if you're busy or tired, please skip as many as you want
can i start early?
you can prep your posts in advance if you need to ... but please wait until the right day in october to share them!
can i re-upload your prompt list to another site?
i would prefer if you dont - i have accounts on most sites, so just reblog/retweet/share from me!
event tag?
#bweirdOCtober
have fun!
image desc/text version ↓under the cut↓ or on bweird.art/october
prompts:
WEEK 1: OC INTRODUCTIONS
⭐ 1: FAV OC
what makes them your fav?
2: NEW OC
how recently did you make them?
3: OLD OC
how long ago did you make them?
⭐ 4: UNDER-APPRECIATED OC
an oc you feel like you don't talk about enough, or you haven't fleshed out as much as you would like
5: RE-DESIGNED OC
an oc who has changed a lot (what changed about them?) or, if you haven't redesigned an oc: is there anything you might want to change about an existing oc?
WEEK 2: BUILDING BACKSTORY
⭐ 6: PAST
where is your oc from? what did they look like as a child?
7: LIKES
what do they like (and why?)
8: DISLIKES
what don't they like (and why?)
⭐ 9: RELATIONSHIPS
doesn't have to be romantic! can any kind of relationship (frienship, family, rivalry etc)
10: PERSONALITY
what are your oc's main personality traits
11: SYMBOLISM/THEMES
what represents your oc? is there a specific colour you associate them with, or a specific animal?
12: FUTURE
what will your oc look like in the future? do they have any plans or goals?
WEEK 3: FUN + GAMES
⭐13: MEMES
do any memes remind you of your oc? are there memes your oc would find funny? maybe you want to redraw your oc as one?
14: WHO/WHAT INSPIRED YOUR OC
are there existing characters that your oc looks like? was your oc based on yourself? is your oc originally from a specific fandom?
15: MUSIC
share a character playlist, write a songfic, post lyrics that remind you of them, etc
⭐16: EYES CLOSED or NON DOMINANT HAND
draw a picture of your oc with your eyes closed or with your non domminant hand, write or type a paragraph about them without your eyes closed, etc ... have fun, and don't worry about it looking "bad" -it's meant to!!
17: DnD ALIGNMENT CHART
put all your ocs into a DnD alignment chart, or any other similar chart if you prefer
i've compiled a few templates on my site, but you can find more easily if you google "oc alignment chart"
⭐18: SWAP
swap something between your ocs - their role in the story, hairstyles, personalities, fashion taste, species ... whatever you want! how would this difference change them?
19: PALETTE CHALLENGES
draw your ocs with as many of these colour palettes as you want (or just skip if you don't draw/don't like doing these!)
hex codes for the colours:
palette 1 - #3C1E81 #6D1EA2 #B059E8 #FE0876 #FE5284 #FE7C96 #E0CFE3 #FFD5C3
palette 2 - #352823 #673F28 #AB541C #BA8233 #897128 #A68B2F #F7BF6A #DAC3A4
palette 3 - #A42E25 #D7412B #E47C29 #F7A233 #FCC02D #FCE4A6 #486548 #FEFDE8
palette 4 - #2F4769 #39597E #53779C #94D1E7 #AADDE7 #D48DB7 #D498B5 #D2BABA
WEEK 4: COMMUNITY
20-26: A WHOLE WEEK OF SOCIAL STUFF
if you don't have the time/energy to do every day this week, ⭐ day 23 is the only one marked as mandatory! you can skip the rest!
some ideas for what you could do: talk about a friend's oc you like, make gift art/writing of them, collabs, trades, reblog/appreciate ocs in the event tag, make interactions between your ocs and other people's
WEEK 5: HALLOWEEN
⭐27: FEARS
is your oc scared of anything? do they have any phobias? are they startled easily? would any of your ocs try to scare ppl on purpose?
28: MONSTER
what would your oc be if they were a monster (eg: werewolf, vampire, eldritch beast.. whatever) or, do you have an oc who is already a monster?
29: PUMPKIN CARVING
your ocs carving pumpkins, a drawing of a pumpkin carved to look like your oc ... or even carve it in real life!
30: GHOST
this can be literally a ghost, or a concept that haunts your oc! up to you!
⭐ 31: COSTUMES
what are your ocs wearing for halloween?
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
CHARACTER ASK GAME!!! 💫
Send a character + one or more of these question IN THE INBOX. Don't reply on the post!
1. Why do you like or dislike this character?
2. Favorite canon thing about this character?
3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?
4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?
5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?
6. What's something you have in common with this character?
7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?
8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?
9. Could you be roommates with this character?
10. Could you be best friends with this character?
11. Would you date this character?
12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?
13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?
14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.
15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)
16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?
17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?
18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?
19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?
20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?
21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?
22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?
23. Favorite picture of this character?
24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?
25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?
26. What's something the character has done you can't get over? Be it something funny, bad, good, serious, whatever?
27. FREEBIE QUESTION!!
17K notes
·
View notes
Text
at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
18K notes
·
View notes
Text
Reading this made me realise just how much more traumatic his story can get. There's a whole SEGMENT we do NOT know about
I get why nobody really asked about it considering Everything Else that happened in blue lock chapters 260-262 but what is kaiser's legal situation vis a vis ray dark and bastard münchen. does his father still have legal custody of him? it's possible that he's still kaiser's legal guardian but has in practice left him to be a ward of bastard münchen. but if that were the case wouldn't kaiser make some reference to it? kaiser very much conducts himself like an emancipated minor imo, and there's no indication that he's not getting every cent of that paycheck, and even an arrangement where his father is no longer physically in contact with him has potential for coercion (child prodigies are famously never financially exploited by their parents /s), as he needs to approve kaiser's status as (at some point) a working minor. but if he doesn't have custody of him, how did he lose it? by all accounts he has never given a shit about providing for kaiser, so it's possible he transferred custody over to someone else (and who would that be? ray dark? some third person who in practice will approve anything ray dark wants?) with no fuss, but it's equally likely that the guy who had been coercing kaiser into stealing from a young age to support them both would want to profit from his son's athletic career too. did ray dark have to sue? in which case kaiser's dad broke that bottle over his head in front of the police, so there's irrefutable evidence for a child abuse case, and they've got all the money of the bllkverse's fifa-analogue on their side too.
#kaiser says something about 'never wanting to go back to that shithole' which idk is him referencing the fact that his dad legally has#(or had—given that he's 19? and an adult) custody‚ or if it's like. his whole 'if i lose this one battle with yoichi everything up to this#point was meaningless and i will be disgraced and forced to return to my life before football' mindset which is. not really accurate but.#well that's kaiser.#kaiser also says something like 'i thought i had gotten over that by now' [newsflash idiot! your childhood builds the foundations of your#adulthood!] which leads me to believe maybe like. his father is not involved at all after he joins basmun academy?#i looked into it and in germany if you're under 18 and have a job and can provide for yourself you need a legal guardian to sign stuff but#yeah you can get emancipated not. difficultly (phrasing wow!) so i would imagine ray dark or some other pifa person was his legal guardian#until kaiser turned 18? so im assuming since kaiser had a job and a place to live he probably got emancipated#which. im sure his father was not huge on given his son just got a well paying (or soon to be) job. but that's his problem.#but yeah given that throwaway line about returning to his childhood home it's a bit murky whether or not that's like. an actual threat or#the feeling returning because of the situation he was in. many such cases. i would imagine it's not an actual threat because HE'S PROBABLY#ABOVE THE AGE OF 18??????#anyway. i just woke up and am not proofreading these tags whatever is containe d here is jone of my business.#<<< previous tags#Don't mind me#You just make a good point#blue lock#michael kaiser#analysis
34 notes
·
View notes