#you’re paying for my therapy

[hxlda-hxlda]

you’re telling me they drop the maybe man album???? KNOWING the first and last tracks repeat????? KNOWING it builds in the same way like a constant anxiety spiral???? KNOWING the journey is forever cyclical and all we can do is keep going in circles????? writing a literal ouroboros of an album???? and they don’t think to fucking warn us??????

[graycious-tea]

I have to leave chapter 30 for tomorrow cus Remus and Sirius ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY GOODBYE

[athousandis]

TIM MINEAR ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

[arotheosis]

mfw misfits and magic season 2 episode 3

[n1ghtwr1ter]

At the end of my latest TLT reread and it’s been physically painful attempting to read the last 40+ pages of Nona. Like, the short shrift that Gideon/Kiriona gets given by the people in the story…the theoretical good guys who honestly only see her as a thing, as a means to an end with an inconvenient dead soul attached to it… It makes me want to rip my own heart out of my chest.

Nobody has cared about Gideon her whole life. Most people, in fact, if they remembered about her at all, went out of their way to tell her how much they wished she didn’t exist. In the final chapters of Gideon, she finally gets the thing she’s been desperate for her whole life: somebody telling her that they need her, they care that she exists, and they badly want her to go on doing it. This allows her to make peace with the prospect that at the ripe old age of 18, she needs to die so that that person can go on living and living and living, using the castrated remnants of her soul as fuel to do so. Not a great way to go, but at least Gideon would get to be useful to somebody, would get to be remembered for something.

And then she wakes up in the wrong body, and finds out that her sacrifice - her attempt to be useful in the most selfless way possible, in that her self will no longer exist - has been rejected. And not only that, but the person she tried to give herself to - the one who was supposed to care about her - went to extreme lengths to make completely sure that she no longer remembered about Gideon.

She literally cut Gideon out of her brain.

And now, drifting along in the worst sort of half life where she’s inhabiting her body but it’s no longer really hers, in very obvious fashion - there’s holes in it, her heart is missing, and it’s got her shitty father’s handprints all over it (not even touching how much of a violation that is), indelibly - she finally meets back up with the small group of people who could theoretically be relied upon to be glad to see her again.

But then the one who was supposed to care about her most tries to kiss her (massively OOC for Harrow), and turns out to not even be there - it’s some weird baby inhabiting her body, and doing a really shit job of it too. The rest of them won’t stop talking about how they need her to break into the Tomb - as if she was just another key, same as the ones they worked together to acquire in Canaan House, just bigger and more inconvenient - and/or how they both fucked and killed her mom, who also (surprise, surprise) wished that Gideon had never existed, but saw her as a thing that needed to be done for the good of the mission.

Ultimately, they all make it abundantly clear - Palamedes, Camilla, Pyrrha, and especially Nona, all these people who are supposed to be kind and good and right - that they would prefer she wasn’t there. That it just be her body, with no Gideon attached - at least not Gideon the way she is now, broken and rejected and miserable. They would all far have preferred that she not have her own inconvenient thoughts and feelings and desires and impulses - that she just be inanimate and let the important people, the grown ups, get things done.

They wish she didn’t exist. Same as everybody else in her life, save one, and now she’s left wondering whether Harrow really meant it at all. Because if she did, she wouldn’t have left Gideon to Kiriona’s fate.

And honestly? Really, truly? I know everybody in the fandom loves Pal and Cam and Nona and Pyrrha, but in the end I couldn’t give less of a shit about them. They are fucking side characters, and as intriguing as Nona has been from a worldbuilding standpoint, I ultimately resent having been forced to read 400+ pages of filler bullshit about fucking side characters. I am a butch, and I’m here for my sarcastic, loving, angry, vulnerable, forgiving, and yes, inconvenient sword butch. I’m here for Gideon. But Gideon has been fridged for the last two books of the series in which she is supposed to be a, if not the, main character.

And it feels like almost nobody else in the fandom feels the same way, which, fine. I’m used to that. I’m also used to being told I’m projecting; and I’m used to being told that I’m inconvenient too, in my thoughts and my opinions and the mere fact of my existence. I spent the first eighteen years of my life being told I was inconvenient. Yet another point of overidentification with Gideon.

But in case anybody still thinks that Nona proves that Gideon was an asshole all along, think about all of the above. Think about how it would make you feel to come back from not just death but from the erasure of your existence, something you chose in order to save the life of someone you loved, and be told that you’re inconvenient. Think about how you’d feel if you’d been told all your life that it would be better for everyone if you didn’t exist. And then tell me that Kiriona isn’t in the right and that I should give a rat’s ass what happens to literally anybody else.

It’s Kiriona Hours up in this House, butches. We’ve spent long enough caring about people who would prefer we weren’t around. For once in our entire lives we were told we were important; we were told we mattered; we were told we were the main character. We were going to, if not get the girl and save the world, at least get to do something real, something important, something like being the hero.

But that’s over now; we’re back to being wrong and bad and inconvenient thanks to the simple fact of our existence. So it’s time to embrace it. Let’s be a little shit. Let’s be kind of a dick. Let’s have our own agenda, let’s play our cards close to our heartless chest, let’s allow our circle of empathy to contract to ourselves and maybe one more person. That’s where I’m at right now. And I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

[owldee]

didn’t get to tell this story on tumblr yet but i was lucky enough to get to see nimona early at a special screening + q&a with nd, the directors and producers…and when i got to talk with nate after i told him the movie made me cry nearly 10 times and he was just like “ah yes, i love inflicting emotional damage” and i was like “yeah I’VE NOTICED”

[brrmian]

we are what they grow beyond.

crown of midnight, sarah j. maas / star wars: episode iii – revenge of the sith (2005) dir. george lucas / star wars: the clone wars (2008–2020) deleted scene / star wars: the last jedi (2017) dir. rian johnson / oathbringer, brandon sanderson / star wars: the last jedi (2017) dir. rian johnson / star wars: rebels (2014–2018), dave filoni

[adorabledrugl0rd]

To Big sis Leo: Hmmmm, what is the thing that you would want to do or want to have, but you can't for some reason? I mean not like "For my famliy to be happy", I mean more like "this would make ME happy", you know?

(Ps. I love your art, I see some progress in it :3 Do you maybe have a tag for every art that you did to this day? or atleast tag for story of Big sis Leo? I think I got lost and I wanna read everyting about her :3)

I always want what I can’t have I miss them so much

[thehistoriasystem]

I remember watching the last 20 minutes of S2E6 with my partner for the first time and we were both super excited because we thought the Metatron was giving the same talk to Aziraphale that Nina and Maggie were giving to Crowley and that Ineffable Husbands were going to confess to each other and get together 😭

God, take me back.

[mrsbackwardbaseballcap]

Umbrella Academy s4 rant incoming

I really figured that after s3 which was quite a weak season that s4 would be amazing but upon find in out it only had 6 episodes I was kinda disappointed, honestly it lost me at introducing a new main character with so little episodes, the whole squid thing didn’t make sense, what was klaus doing for half of that season? why was he floating in an alleyway? And how did it advance the plot in any way? Klaus has always been my favourite and I was super disappointed as to why he was so cast aside, have they all just forgotten what Allison did? Also where did ray go? Still super sad viktor and Allison never have a good relationship but the Lila and five romance?! Miss girl you are married and have three children and five you are fifty eight, so with that ending you’d have thought we’d actually had a decent ending to an awful season but no- no they all are just erased from existence and all of the side characters and their family live in wonderland?

Thank you for listening xoxo gossip girl

[melhekhelmurkun]

The pain of watching Attack of the Clones in order to see Obi-Wan with long hair, but also having to deal with Whiny Angsty Kinda Creepy Teenager Anakin

[spineless-lobster]

Stede’s shirt being the red silk and then Ed saying Stede’s line and there’s the moonlight and the music and they KISS and then THEY RECOGNIZE THEY’RE GOING TOO FAST SO THEN THEY HOLD HANDS AND PLAY THUMBSIES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️😭😭‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[trashyspaceprxnce]

Was nobody going to tell me that the name Travis means “to cross” or did I just have to find that out from a baby name website by myself

[zorosdimples]

drops this and skips away nsfwish!!

LIA WHAT THE FUCK???????? WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! WHAT. THE. FUCK.

[swampylioness]

i think laufey changed the trajectory of my life forever with the Bewitched album I cannot keep listening to dreamer and letter to my 13 year old self I don’t think thats healthy

[dyingstars-if]

I have your blog notifs on and getting a notification that aren bit your nips off was a very concerning image

me: hah hah aren bit my nip off. what a little bitch.

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