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rcksmith · 2 years ago

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Untouchable - Five Hargreeves

You can find the 2 request here: anonymous 1, anonymous 2.

Resume: The villain falls in love with the girl.

Trope: “ Who did this to you?” “Touch her and you are dead.” “i´ll find you in every lifetime”

Couple: Five Hargreeves /Fem!Reader.

Warnings: A LOT OF ANGST, swearing, mention of death, blood, fight between the Hargreeves and the Sparrows,a little enemies to lovers in the end, fluff, SMUT, degrading talk.

Word count: 15k.

A/N: Spoiler from season 3.

OMG THIS IS HUGE JAHHSHDAHSDJAHDHND it turned out bigger than i expected.

Because I have a lot of requests in my box, I compile orders that are similar and put together, but I took care to added all the elements that were asked for individually, and made sure that all ideas were respected and written down.

We not tolerate any pedophilia here!! I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter, MHA and others fandoms.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are OPEN. Love you ❤️

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Honor comes from the Latin honoris. Indicating a person who lives with honesty and probity, basing their way of life on the dictates of morality. A principle that leads someone to have a righteous, virtuous conduct, which allows to enjoy a good reputation in society.

Five Hargreeves thought of himself as a callous man with no honor and, somehow, able to drown out the voice of morality in his head. He was very knowledgeable about literature and history, and his physics and math skills could surpass Tesla's, but philosophy for him was a bunch of weak principles and dictated by people who didn't really know the world, who didn't pass 1% of what he passed by, who did not see what he saw. Not even Socrates, Plato or Machiavelli had known the worst of humanity like him, the truth about realities. A big part of his existence came down to surviving, fighting, winning, crushing everything that threatened his life.

His cynical outlook on life led him to pragmatism, and he knows that if he wants something done, he will have to do it himself.

His actions were more about getting things done than about displaying a display of rebellion or power. However, Five was not afraid of pain or even killing. He didn't mind being the author of the worst massacres if it meant going back to his family.

Five Hargreeves don't give a damn about being the villain of the story. He did what had to be done.

It was why, when The Handle ordered him to carry out the death sentence of a Duke and Duchess in 1730, Five did not question or hesitate.

Even though in the back of his mind, in a very small part of his brain, the question arose as to why people from such an old and outdated date, he did nothing about it, much less pulled the thread from the ball of yarn that would trigger a series of questions in a row. His job was not to ask why, to investigate step by step, to go through file by file. Five wasn't on The Commission to know the reason for each death, he was on the execution.

So he went, letting the suitcase unfold before his eyes an ancient era, from a faraway time, introducing him to carriages, flowing dresses, gigantic balls. And, as much as some people considered that era poetic, Five never liked lack of practicality.

So he killed the couple as quickly as possible, determined to escape from the need to spend more hours in that old-fashioned place.

It was like any other murder he had committed over the years on The Commission; he came, killed, and left. No looking back, no questions, no hesitation. Drowning in the deepest wave any second feelings that might have submerged, ensuring his emotions were chained very well at the bottom of the ocean.

It was easy, normal, routine. He was once again the villain, and could sleep very well the night with that.

But something began to change gradually in the atmosphere, in the air.

On some mornings, it was as if Five's hands were tingling for no apparent reason, eager to catch up something he had no idea what it was. On some afternoons, his heart vibrated in his chest, like a ground being punished by an earthquake, shaking his balanced state of mind. And, on some dawns, Five's mouth was as dry as the Sahara desert, thirsty for something that not even the coldest water could appease.

Wherever he was the air stayed suddenly thin, stuffy. And sometimes, in the middle of a mission, the wind seemed to blow in only one direction, hitting Hargreeves' back as if pushing him to go in a path. At those moments, his heart returned fluttered in his chest, as if he knew that one north was calling him and was that where he needed to go.

Everything inside Hargreeves began to be affected by strange reactions, spurred by banal, mundane events.

An in a few seconds, if Five stood completely still, silencing his thoughts and hollowing out any inner voices, he could hear something in the wind calling for him. Small seconds that swept away any balance that one day he ever had.

Five Hargreeves was going through a peripeteia, and he had no idea what was causing it.

What hell is going on?

It was wen, on an afternoon where the sun hid with shame among the dark gray clouds, The Handler gave him another murder.

In 1750.

His soul shuddered inside him in that second, echoing through his bones, keeping Five's egyptian green eyes fixed on the paper in his hands, unable to look away from the bold numbers that indicated the date of his next mission.

The icy breeze ruffled his dark hair, but he didn't move. There seemed to be something important and unspoken in the air, and this time, the voice calling his name on the wind grew softly louder. Now, it didn't seem to come from the back of his mind anymore, but from a place far away.

Five looked around, in an instinctive movement in the pathetic and vain attempt to find the source of that voice.

Nothing. As always.

“Five.” The Handler snapped her fingers in front of his face “May I have your precious attention?" The irony didn't go unnoticed, but his eyes flickered to hers. “As I was saying, the time and place of this mission is strictly important. Viscount Sebastian needs to be killed in his office at midnight, in the middle of his daughter's debut ball, not a minute less and nowhere else.”

Hargreeves gave a nod. Not because he had devoted all of his attention to her, just because he wanted her to stop talking. Much of his concentration was still on the way his body and the hemisphere around him behaved. Mission times and places were standard, no need to focus on this nonsense and listen to someone reiterate the rules as if Five were a child. He was 26 years old, a child was the last thing he was.

Something seemed to be happening, occult like a current that rattles under the sea. And the knowledge that he couldn't see the bottom of the ocean unnerved every cell in his body. Hargreeves couldn't stand things he couldn't perceive, understand how it works, take it apart and put it back together again.

This time, when Five returned to the eighteenth century, with 20 years having passed in that time after his visit and only 2 weeks for him, what hit him first was not the impracticality, the carriages, the big dresses. But the wind. Strong, cold, bringing with it the voice who called his name for weeks, now loud and clear.

The dark strands of his body prickled, and he could feel his heartbeat in his throat. Suddenly, anxiety snaked through his body like venom, stirring every fiber in his body, pumping something into his veins that made his blood heat like lava. An emotion he couldn't name what it was.

In the last mission, Five had a string of complaints about the way the black waistcoat squeezed the white linen shirt over his abdomen, and how heavy the straight-cut coat felt heavy under his shoulders. But in this time, he wasn't bothered with the clothes he had to wear so as not to attract attention and go unnoticed. Now, with his heart pounding in his chest, his throat dry and the constant feeling that he had to be somewhere urgently, his clothes were the last things on his mind.

It was an emotion that squeezed the pit of his stomach, made his hands itch and his body shot with an adrenaline that screamed that he needed to move. That he had a more important place to be. All the sensations he'd felt leisurely over the weeks now came back with absurd force, as if he were getting close to the source of it all.

What was happening?

The moon in that far away era shone sovereignly in the sky, blessing the houses, carriages and large mansions with cascades of distilled light in the purest color of silver.

Las time, the feeling that came over Five was to get out of there as quickly as possible. But now, looking around in search of the source of the voice calling him in the wind, the last thing on his mind was leaving.

His watch still read eight o'clock, but the sensation was like he was already late.

The most practical plan was to stay hidden somewhere near the mansion where the ball was being held. Avoiding crowds, witnesses, minimizing risk and being a shadow. As always did. The most rational thing to do was to stay away from that place at all costs, until the inevitable arrived and he was forced to enter through one of the windows.

He should have done it. But he didn't.

Just as a sailor follows a siren's song on the high seas, Five followed that voice on the wind. His brain screamed for him to seek a hiding place, but his soul rebelled with an absurd ferocity, ricocheting tremors through all his bones and ordering his legs to follow a path his conscious did not know. His whole mind was confused, but his soul carried a certainty that no other living being had ever had in they life.

With no other option, stunned by the sensations in his own body, he found himself walking towards the front door of the only place he was supposed to avoid until midnight.

If Five Hargreeves had to describe what was happening to his five senses, he would say that his vision was mildly blurred, as if were searching for focus. The smell was of climax and the ambient sounds were drowned out by his own heartbeat. It was like being there in flesh and blood, but not in soul.

He didn't focus on the details of the world around him, but he knew when he finished climbing the front steps. He couldn't focus on the conversation around him, but he knew that a few people were walking beside him.

His mind saw everything, but processed nothing.

It was a mistake not to be 100% aware of the environment, not to study each individual's body language, not to constantly calculate the odds of a move going wrong. But... it was as if something prevented him from emerging to the surface.

Five didn't respond when the butler greeted him at the entrance to the great hall, but looked around as the wind from outside hit his back and his name rang in his ears once more.

It was a female voice. Now he could tell.

Going deeper into the hall, the melody of the orchestra invaded his ears while thousands of people, talking, dancing and drinking, took his view. Everything resembled a blur on a painting, the sounds were still muffled as if Five were at the bottom of the sea, and the smell transitioned between flowers, feminine perfume and poetry.

Five Hargreeves was a pragmatic, cynical and austere man. Everything that made up his being was based on rationality, laws of physics and mathematical concepts, he wasn't oscillated by tender things and he certainly wasn't carried away by things of the heart or soul. He always followed what rationality dictated. Until now.

Until now.

Like a violin string that ruptured, Hargreeves was gripped by the feeling that something very important was about to happen. Something that would not only change his existence forever, but change him for eternity. This fact stared him at back, bold, warm and as inevitable as the setting sun. And very hair on his body stood on end at once while everything inside him pulsed with a brutality that could shake his bones.

Now, the sound of the orchestra was drowned out by the soundtrack of his life, which was coming closer to apex by the second. It was like being submerged in a slow-motion, in a moment that preceded an momentous event.

As magnets are pulled one by the other in an impassable way, his eyes, as if they already knew where to look, were drawn to a figure among the others who danced in the middle of the hall.

You.

Was like an explosion. Loud and brutal. He suddenly submerged from the bottom of the sea, bewildered, desperate, out of breath. The stupor released itself all at once, bringing his mind back to the reality. Instantaneously, nothing was blurred anymore, sounds weren't muffled, and he abruptly returned to his conscious state. But his soul was not so lucky. Like being whipped by live eels, his heart pounded in his chest with such fury that he leaned over forward millimeters, his throat was drier than the Egyptian desert and now his hands itched in a hellish, bestial, uncontrollable way.

Five Hargreeves has released himself from a wave of numbness only to be hit by a tsunami of sensation.

His eyes were seeing everything clearly now, but he couldn't take his attention away from the female figure dancing in the middle of the room, her bouffant gown swirling gracefully across the floor as if deities were blowing the fabrics.

There were a lot of people around him, in front of him, behind him, but Five Hargreeves only had eyes for you.

In an insane, magical and inexplicable logic, Five had the purest certainty that it was your voice that called him in the wind, that was by the desire to touch your skin that his hands itched. Five would never be able to explain it to other people, but at that moment, there was nothing more concrete on Earth, in physics and science, than the certainty that was because of you that his soul felt, so many times, that he should be somewhere else.

Like the indubitability that you need oxygen to breathe, touching your skin has become just as indispensable. It was a matter of needing, something that now not only itched his hands, but corroded the bones in his fingers.

There was no reason for all those absurd feelings, Five had never even seen you before. But rationality had no space in that moment.

There, in that rift between the past, future and parallel realities, there was no discernment, lucidity, judgment. It was a hideaway free of any cohesiveness, with the smell of romance, an atmosphere full of emotion, passion and poetry. A distant era that allowed, for the first time in many years, that the soul of Five Hargreeves to take control of his body.

He moved, one step after another, his focus petrified on you. With each centimeter closer to your body, the more he felt able to breathe again, relieving the brutal anxiety that had been beating him for weeks, giving a truce to the martyrdom that lacerate him day after day without even him even knowing why.

You had finished your dance, clapping along with the other guests for the orchestra that started the new melody, this time more lyrical.

Your hair, the tone of which seemed to be the personification of poetry, of art, was tied in a bun that allowed a few strands to fall under your neck, the skin of your bust was speckled with a few little droplets of sweat, the perfect amount to glisten under the yellowish light of the candles in the chandelier, making a divine, almost celestial aurora radiate from you. The dark blue gown referred back to the night sky in its greatest splendor, highlight your full breasts at the straight neckline and opening at the hips in a skirt that preached the illusion of you being floating across the hall. Your lips were a red that Five had never seen in his life. A red that seemed to exist only to serve you, enhancing the color of your eyes.

You were like a mirage. An oasis in the farthest desert. One of those paintings that people come from all over the world to see in person, capable of sweeping, taking they breath away, making they cry for having to live with the burden of never having the possibility of knowing you in life.

The romantic period was going on in that century, society was tired of trends in intellectual thinking, rationalization, industrialization and the veneration of science. People longed for an escape into emotionally charged images and fantastical fiction in the visual arts and literature. And Five Hargreeves was certain that you were one of the greatest inspirations of this movement. It was so clear that you were the influence of John Waterhouse's paintings, sweeping the hearts of artists and illuminating poets. Lord Byron was thinking of you when he created the short lyric poem “She Walks in Beauty”, completely fascinated by you.

That thought shuddered Five's soul even more. And an acidic emotion rose in his throat and burned his eyes. In his chest was injected the feeling that he was facing one of the greatest beauties in history, the person the poems and paintings were based on, the inspiration for so many names of literature and art that would become renowned.

There, in front of him, was more than a person. It was a piece of history, art, literature, a beauty that was immortalized and that would be admired even after centuries. Five had already gone to different times in the past, but nothing touched his soul as much as now. As much as you.

Five Hargreeves went in your direction like a sailor following a siren's song across the seven seas.

You were relatively distracted when he got to you. Lungs catching breath from the last dance, body preparing for the next, your mind was on that ballroom but your heart was far away. It was universally true that girls your age should revel in balls like this one. Full of potential husbands, dancing and music, governed by a perfect night for falling in love. You came to like it in the past, but now, after so many similar events, everything didn't have the same magic anymore.

You've heard enough stories - filled with adrenaline, pirate ships and dangerous waters - to crave adventure in your life. It was also noticed that you spent too much time with your books, and that the consequence of spending so many hours in the fictional world brought you very high standards for men and love. The whispers through the darkened streets were that you would end up a spinster. Since you took no interest in any gentleman who courted your hand.

In your defense, it wasn't your fault. The men in your reality were terribly...tasteless.

That was until he showed up.

You don't know where he emerged, or what lineage he was from, much less his name. But he came towards you like that was more important than breathing. In a virile, perfect posture. As if he knew all the secrets of the world and was able to show you them.

One of the first things you noticed were the eyes. The room was partially dark, lit only by the flickering candles in the candelabra, but the darkness only made his eyes clearer. Intense greens. Of such a pure emerald tone that it shone like a mystical cat, calling you to sink in his greenish sea. The stranger had hair as black as midnight, which fell softly and romantically over a face with firm features; jaw as sharp as a razor and a nose full of masculine personality. Although was well dressed, all his clothes, with the exception of the white linen shirt, were as dark as the strands of his hair, something unusual among the sophisticated gentlemen who were invited.

Looking at that gorgeous face, you were left speechless. The deities had been generous to this man, gifting him with bold, aristocratic features and iris as green as Egypt's most precious jewels. The mystery and secrets contained within in those eyes were a fascinating contrast.

“Can I have this dance?” Just a sentence.

He didn't introduce himself, he didn't say who he was. He just dropped that sentence as if it was the only thing he really cared to say.

The gravity of his words made your heart flutter. What a beautiful voice that man had. With a provocative huskiness, a touch of superb, as if he were an oracle at his peak in ancient Greece. The sound seemed to seep into your body and run through you like warm honey.

The truth was, you had reserved the dance for another gentleman, but in that second, you couldn't care less.

“Of course, milord.” That's what you said, accepting the hand he extended to you.

Never taking his eyes off yours, an unfamiliar sensation washed over your mortal body and engulfed everyone around you. You wondered if it was just the stuff of your imagination or if he too felt the electricity whip through his body as he positioned you closer to dance.

Single women weren't allowed to touch men's hands if you weren't wearing gloves, and that rule had never bothered you. Until now.

Until be affected by an insane, visceral desire to feel that man's skin. Of experiencing the heat radiating from his hand against yours, of feeling those white fingers, slender and pale, holding your denude skin. You've never been touched by a man without a layer of clothing intervening. No brushing of elbows, no bumped of fingers, no errant caresses. And you wondered what it was about that man that made you aware of this deprivation. That stranger radiated secrets in an inexplicable but extremely palpable way in the air and you wanted to feel the touch of mystery on your skin more than you wanted to breathe. A will as strong as fear, as intense as hunger.

Your soul screamed in frustration because of the dress when his hand cupped your cover waist. In a touch so firm it only existed in the romance novels you read. Your heart raced, your breath disappeared, and you didn't notice when you rested your hand on his shoulder and your feet began to follow the rhythm of the waltz.

It was pathetic the intensity of your emotions for a man you had just met and didn't even know his name. But, it was like you'd found something didn't even know you'd lost.

Well… if it was the lack of knowledge of his name that was making things a little difficult…

“Aren't you going to tell me your name? Mine is Y/n”

Your voice, sweet as molasses, velvety as suede, made the hairs on the back of Five's neck stand on end. He recognized the timbre now, he had already heard you calling for him in the wind, but nothing surpassed hearing you from inches away.

This was one of those moments where, if you asked Five why he was doing this, he couldn't answer. He couldn't find any logical answers to his actions, reactions, thoughts. But, once again, this rift in space and time was an environment free of rationality. He didn't need this here. He felt he didn't need to. Not when had you in his arms.

A name…

Five Hargreeves was the name of a villain. Someone who would carry on his shoulders to the grave the weight of the thousands of souls he killed. Someone whose hands were marked, eternally, with thick, hot blood. A proof that his destiny was traced directly to hell. His name was the personification of a freak created to be a hero, an orphan in the apocalypse, a man who belonged nowhere in the timeline, someone without family for many decades.

He looked at the hands that held you. The hands of a serial killer. And then he looked at you, full of beauty, life, happiness and innocence. It was like committing a crime against nature to hold something so pure in such infamous, disgraced, death-scarred hands. And something inside he twisted with something like pain…disgust, for the fist time.

His soul didn't want to hold you in the hands of Five Hargreeves.

Five Hargreeves was the villain. And he didn't want to be that man right there.

His mouth, which looked so beautiful yet so dangerous, softly approached the foot of your ear, while the body of you two continued to follow the steps of the waltz. "We don't need names here."

A current of electricity slammed into your body like a whiplash from a live eel, raising goose bumps on parts of your skin you didn't even know you had. My goodness, it was a sin for a single man to have that much charm.

Sensible young women would have turned away at once. Practical girls who appreciated rationality, sincerity and transparency, who had no estimate for games, mystery and sensuality, would have rolled their eyes. But you were not sensible, practical or appreciative of the good customs of the epoch.

You were romantic, hungry for a good charade, adventure. And that man seemed to be built by those two things.

The world was just a shapeless blur, other people were no more than wandering silhouettes, and the atmosphere was enraptured by the flickering orange light of the candles in the candelabra. The smell was of poetry, romance and freedom, which intoxicated the brain and alcoholize any common sense. Was like a magical place in the middle of space and time, a rift that allowed just being. Time passed slowly, as if dancing together with you two.

‘One second can change many things...’

Just as Five could hear his father's voice saying 'I told you so' during his years in the apocalypse, he could hear his words now.

‘you can crumble empires, win battles...’

Five swirled you around before pulling you into his arms once more, his heart pounding with each passing moment. Neither of you realized it, but every second you spent together, every step, more messed up the timeline.

You smiled full of romance and magic as he leaned you back, his hand firm on your spine, bringing you to the surface and returning to dance around the hall with the waltz that dandle yours bodies.

‘you can fall in love.’

With every strong step the two of you took on the floor, in an apocalypse dance, realities were immediately misaligned. With each spin, lines of events were exploded into other universes. With each look shared, with each smile, with each heartbeat full of romance, people were erased, born, disappeared.

An apocalypse was brewing somewhere because of his hands on your body. A mystical waltz that brought the ascension of chaos in other timelines.

Neither of you two knew about it. But if Five knew, he wouldn't keep his hands off you anyway. Five Hargreeves was the villain in many realities. And he would accept the burden of being in a few more if it meant having you in his arms.

In an inexplicable and irrational way, what was happening now had more importance than everything he had ever lived and would live through in his entire life.

"You dance very well." You praised him, and his hands on you tighten a little more.

"No more than you". Then he gave that smile.

The half smile that lifted only one corner of his mouth. Malicious, sagacious, sphinx. Who promised to know all the mysteries of the world and show you all the sins of life. What man was that? So full of charm, sensuality, beauty. He seemed out of this world and you found yourself wishing that time would freeze in that moment, that you could hold onto your chest and live in that dance for the rest of your life.

There was something different in the air. A soul-deep feeling that whispered that your life would never be the same again.

Not after this man.

“It is not difficult to find women who dance.” You joked. "You've certainly danced with others to know."

Yes, with his mother and Allison.

But even if he had been dancing with all the women in the world, they would have disappeared in that moment. No memories memory experiences with other women could stand out at that moment.

"If I danced, they all disappeared the moment I waltzed with you." He realized he might have said the right thing, because he could see the breath go out of your lungs and cheekbones flush deliciously.

God in heaven… this girl was breathtakingly beautiful.

Five led you around the hall masterfully, committing your features to his mind like the tattoo on his wrist. Permanently, eternally. Suddenly, he was struck down by the insane desire to know more about you. To hear more of your voice, to taste the way the words flowed from your lips like the purest honey.

You were like a drug, an obsession. An addiction that had stuck with him since the first time he came into that century, since he breathed the same air as you, since he coexisted under the same night sky as you. There was insane logic in the fact that his soul felt your presence without even seeing you on that first mission. He would never be able to explain it, but somehow it made sense inside in him.

Five Hargreeves didn't think about what would happen when he had to leave. He didn't think about the withdrawal his body would suffer when he was away from you. Much less noticed the way there seemed to be something important in the air. If he had been in full intellectual faculties and grounded in rationality, he would have managed to understand that that something was the temporal lines collapsing, an apocalypse forming elsewhere, pure and perfect chaos destroying parallel realities.

But he was not being led by rationality. And even if he was, he wouldn't have minded a few worlds burning if it meant having you next to his body. He didn't care. But The Commission was a different case.

But Five Hargreeves wasn't thinking about any of that.

He conducted a conversation with you the way he conducted that waltz. He discovered that you liked the high seas even though you were never allowed to be on a ship. You loved nature and enjoyed good books. He heard your eagerness to know the world and learn about different cultures, that you wanted to unravel the mysteries of Egypt, see the architecture of Greece, visit Spain and wanted to go swim in the beaches of Brazil. You were an adventurer, and Five's heart skipped a beat for it.

But in a corner of his soul, deep down, he felt an ache reverberate through his bones. The urge to tell you about the world came with overwhelming force, and something inside him died when he realized he could never tell you the truth about the subjects you cared about.

He could never tell all that the world already knew about Egypt, about its tombs and its pharaohs. He could never be able to show the beauty of Brazil's beaches that become famous tourist spots, and he reserved a note in his brain that you would have loved to visit Genipabu in Brazil, a beach with huge sand dunes that seemed to be the junction of a huge desert whit a beach. He could not tell you what science, oceanography and marine biologists already knew about the oceans. He could never say about the cruises that roamed the seas in all the luxury and comfort, much less about the planes.

Five Hargreeves would never be able to show you the world. And his soul decided to torture itself even more thinking about what it would be like if you were from his time. The things you would do, the freedom you could enjoy.

He could show you anything you wanted, tell you the secrets of the universe…His secrets.

When the waltz was over, on a note as dramatic as the situation, you couldn't say goodbye to him. Your soul, enchanted and completely enraptured by the man in front of you, vehemently refused to remove your hand over his. It seemed that every molecule in your body, every corner of your spirit, every fiber of your being, had defined that it was with that man that they wanted to stay. Forever.

What was foolish.

The truth was that the sensation of poetry, romance and magic that surrounded you two throughout the dance, had evaporated from the air like mist in the sun. Now the sure that you two weren't meant to be together hung in the air like a black cloud, thundering and flashing. This feeling oppressed you with an overwhelming force, so tangible it was possible to cut it with a razor.

No words needed to be said, but it was stamped into the environment, filling every millimeter and gap, putting that magical dance into a category that would never go beyond that: a dance.

A feeling of melancholy jabbed your throat like a scorpion's sting, injecting an emotion of sadness and helplessness into your blood like distilled poison. You didn't want that to be the end. You didn't want to say goodbye. Even with everything in the air indicating that whatever existed between the two of you, ended here, now.

Five's eyes seemed to exude the same as you. Feeling the end heavy and resounding in the air, reverberating like thunder, as every corner of his soul roared the opposite. The green sea of his irises looked like it was in the middle of a storm. Full of pain, anger. With colossal waves and revolts, which promised to destroy everything they saw ahead. Just like the oceans did in the apocalyptic events in the era of Younger Dryas.

Somehow, without having to utter a single sentence, you both knew you were feeling the same thing. Wishing, with all their might, that this wasn't the end, that they were able to hold time against their chest in a tight, desperate embrace, an attempt to freeze the pointers.

At that moment, Five clamored, to any god who would listen, that you not be taken from his arms.

However, like the evil joke that was his life, his thoughts were cut short by the chiming of the clock. 11 chimes. That echoed in his soul like the trumpets of hell, laughing at him, mocking him, making fun of a murderer thinking he would be graced with something like you.

Five Hargreeves was a villain. And he was destined to have the things villains deserve. And none of this things included someone like you.

In that sadistic moment, Five finally understood a sentence from one of the books Grace read to them at night; ‘If I were to kiss you then go to hell, I would. So then I can brag with the devils I saw heaven without ever entering it.’

Yes. Now he understood. Five Hargreeves leaned in, bringing the back of your hand to his lips, laying a kiss that, however much it was impeded by the muslin layer of your glove, he prayed that this kiss could transmit all the feelings he could never say. This are the only kiss he could give you. That sentence echoed in his head like a fact, as sure as the sky is blue, as true as the salt in the oceans.

And when he went to the core of hell, paying for all his sins, he would brag to the other demons that he had been to heaven without ever having entered it.

You wish you'd said something, asked where he was from, stopped him from going. But none of that happened. This was one of those moments that we regret forever, that are branded in a red-hot iron in the soul, in the mind, in the body. Everything inside you was screaming to go after him when Five turned arund and walked into the sea of guests. But he disappeared in the waves before you could even move your feet.

No one had to tell you, but you knew you'd never see him again. And your heart would never beat for another.

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Five Hargreeves has had to do a lot of horrible things over the years. Actions he wasn't proud of but he knew needed to be done, nights awash in blood and the smell of death.

But nothing has wobble him as much as you have.

His soul, body and mind, trained since he was a child not to develop any weakness that would prevent him from being a perfect hero, then perfected and aggravated by the Commission to be the unbeatable assassin, were rarely stirred by feelings.

He was cynical, hard-nosed, crotchety and arrogant. He never got carried away by emotions and, as much as his desire to save his family is pure, he will cross any ethical lines for the greater good. And all of that made him the Commission's best weapon.

Until now.

Until his emotions messed up not just one, but thousands of timelines. Created catastrophes, formed apocalypses, killed people. Hargreeves meeting you was something that could never have happened. Repudiated not just by nature but by the gods. Having you in his arms was like a crime against the timeline, against the balance of the world.

And heavens and hells would make him pay. With work, blood, or his heart. Promising to take not only the soul, but any hope of laying eyes on you once again. As Icarus had his downfall for the sun, so Hargreeves had for you. In a triumphal ruin.

“Do you have any idea what you caused ?!” It was the first thing The Handler said as soon as Five returned from his mission, seconds after he had killed his target.

Her voice was loud, suffused with anger and rage and… despair. Five frowned, soul still aching from having to leave you, your warmth still in his arms. He didn't have the head to deal with her right now. Not when he had so much to process.

“A death.”

“Don't play smart on me!” Her roar was loud enough for Hargreeves to realize that something really serious was going on. The Handler was many things, but she never got worked up without good reason.

The clatter of her heels echoed through the room as she walked towards him, her eyes full of fierce emotion.

“You had only one job to do! One! Kill the man and get out of there. Like always!" Her voice was as rough as desert sand. “But not only did you mess up entire timelines, but created apocalypses on thousands of worlds that were to happen only thousands of years later!"

Five's mind was racing like a Catarina wheel, spinning at full throttle as it tried to put the pieces together. He blinked once, twice, his heart starting to race with the feeling that something devastating was about to be revealed.

He looked at The Handler, who understood his look. "That's right! Your little feat of dancing with that girl shattered thousands of timelines! People were killed, disappeared, events took a completely different course because of your little impertinence!"

She pulled his arm towards the thousands of screens that monitored infinite realities. And what he saw was chaos. Pure and perfect. Some worlds succumbed to fire, others to water, others to war. But they had devastation as a resemblance.

Five can hear the voices of other Commission workers in the background, in another corridor, other rooms. Some sounded desperate, others irritated, and others helpless, but all seemed concerned. He couldn't even say that he didn't know that little things had chain reactions. Because he knew. There was nothing to justify his actions, for he didn't even have a good reason for himself.

But the truth was, even staring the apocalypse in the face across nine different monitors, he felt no…remorse. There wasn't a part of him that would have done differently, that wouldn't have touched you, that wouldn't have known you. Deep in his soul Hargreeves knew he didn't care how many worlds he had destroyed just by touching you. He was going to hell anyway, it was better to have a memory of you to remember for eternity.

"...we'll have to kill her." It was just that sentence that Five's messed up mind paid attention to.

Then everything stopped.

The weather, the conversations. The world seemed to have held their breath, suspended, staring at Five. Everything inside him fell silent into scary silence, and he turned slowly toward The Handler, all his senses heightened, heart still, mind clear.

She seemed to notice his state. "What did you expect?! You know how things work. Causers of apocalypse get killed, that's our job! And because of that dance of yours, this girl has caused nine different apocalypses.”

There was a kind of insane, evil logic to the situation. The last riddle of gods and life to see Five Hargreeves on his knees. Broken, empty. To punish his sins, taking from him what he took from so many people. They engineered his downfall perfectly, writing with a red-hot iron on his soul the sentence that he could never be happy. His curse, the price to pay. Cosmic fit.

What the fucking hell.

“I'll send some agent to kill her immediately and...”

But Five Hargreeves has never been one to accept sentences imposed on him with his head down. Limitations, rules. He made his own destiny, no matter what he told him, and lived with the consequences. No god, destiny or universe dictated his life.

Everything inside him roared like a beast. Exploding, bursting, sending any control flying away. In an action without any hesitation, delicacy or ambiguities, his hand closed on The Handler's arm. In a firm, strong, tense grip that started hurt her very soon.

She looked at him in a mixture of shock and annoyance. There were very few people in the world willing to face a woman on her level, some too fearful, others who value life too much. But Five Hargreeves was none of those things. He'd never known any predator he should fear, everyone knew he was capable of anything and everything. Maybe there was no line he was able from crossing, or plan he wasn't capable of executing.

Five Hargreeves was the predator she should fear.

And The Handler realized that. For in that pair of eyes she saw danger, rage, pure and perfect hate. His sea of green gave way to red, glittering waves, shining with all the blood he had already spilled. And with a warning that he wouldn't mind spilling more.

“Stay. away. from. her. ” he guided each word with a tighter grip on her delicate arm, sure to leave marks that won't go away anytime soon.

Bewildered, she looked at him like a man possessed, filled with a rage that could fuel hell all by itself. The Handler had never seen him in that state, he was always angry, annoyed, acidic, but that… that was hatred, a bloodthirsty hate.

Five Hargreeves promised to go to hell and drag anyone with him without saying a word.

For the first time in her life, The Handler was afraid.

“Five...you know her need to die...”

"Listen to me" He vociferate, shaking her by the arm. “I don't give a fuck what you have to say. I swear, for all that exists in this world, that if you lay one finger on her, there will be nowhere on earth you can fuck hide from me.”

Five Hargreeves was a tall, masculine man, wrapped in a macabre and sinister aura when he wanted to. He pulled The Handler closer, his face filled with colossal rage being etched like a tattoo into her soul.

“I don't give a fuck about how many worlds are ending, I don't give a fuck if fucking people are dying! You won't touch her until the day I'm dead! And you can bet that, even seven feet under the ground, I'll find a way to take you with me to hell if you do fucking something to her."

You were untouchable.

All of his work on The Commission was about killing a number of people to save even more. But he would never, ever, sacrifice you for the greater good. Not even if it meant millions of dead people.

It didn't matter as long as you weren't one of the dead.

Without waiting for further discussion, he led The Handler towards the exit door, leading her out of the room and locking the door when he returned. Five wasn't stupid or naive to think that she would follow his orders. The handler might be afraid of him, but she knew how to get what she wanted, no matter how long it took. And now that he'd bruised her ego, Five knew she'd make it her primary mission to kill you.

Something he would never let happen.

If someone asked where so much anger, so much sense of protection came from, Five Hargreeves couldn't say. Because he didn't even know. In the same way that he still didn't understand everything that had happened, everything that he had been feeling, he still hadn't reasoned where such primitive, territorialist impulses came from. He had no idea where it all came from, but he was sure he could never let anything bad happen to you.

In a twisted and somewhat obscure way, you had gained a villain as a protector. A fallen angel who didn't promise to do good to people, but only to you. Who swore allegiance not to humanity, but solemnly, exclusively, to you.

It was a sensation that filled his entire body like boiling lava. And Five put his hand in the fire for the certainty that he would never be able to get rid of his feelings for you again.

His soul said that, as long as he was alive, he would be yours.

Making his mind work faster than it ever had before, Five Hargreeves concluded that every record of you had to go. There could no longer be documents proving that you were part of humanity. That once you had a name, a house, a reality. Five would have to erase you from any and all records. Forever. The only way to keep you out of the hands of the people who had access to every form of terrestrial existence, was to erase you from the world. Only then, hidden from the Commission, could you live happily. Fully.

But throwing all your documents away was signing the sentence that he was took the risk of never getting to see you again. Without them, finding someone was nearly impossible, much less accessing their reality. Five could start a calculation to find you one day, but that could take years, ages, and even if he memorized your documents number by number, did the calculations and managed to get to you without any side effects, The Commission could follow him and find you.

And finding a civilian's documents was much easier than finding a special agent like him and throwing them away too.

Once again, his life was a cruel joke of the gods, which served as entertainment for any higher power. Five strongly believed that, if there was anything above or below him, they designed his life for they own amusement.

Five Hargreeves spent hours in the file room, locked in that cubicle, not letting anyone in, not getting out. Once he disappeared with your documents, he would be declared a traitor and deserter, where his punishment would not only be more years of work, but death.

The world was spinning. Head ached. A sound gnawed at his mind, a scratch without melody, like a rustle of paper. Someone had taken a scream, a memory and a fear, crumpled it into a jagged ball, and used it to stuff Five's skull. He need to think of a plan that covered all the rough edges, but his eyes were bombarded with futures he didn't want to think about. Every time he blinked he felt the tragedy lurking in a dark and dismal corner, ready to catch him in their sharp mouths and take him somewhere he feared to go.

A place where the worst had happened to you.

Suddenly, the world was filled with secrets, fears and terror. Just as his soul took control of him in that night, it was the same in this moment. Five Hargreeves wasn't someone to get carried away by anything, but the feeling that something very bad was about to happen to you haunted him to the bone. That would be the perfect ending to his sinful life story; having the one person who touched his feelings so powerfully killed in the same way he killed so many other people.

Life was taking its toll on all the things he had done. For a second, he was afraid of that reckoning. Because the worst is not the bullet hitting yourself, but someone you like.

The feeling outside of being torn apart. All the patches and pieces of what it was to be Five Hargreeves - which he had been painstakingly piecing together throughout his life - were coming loose again, all at once. The clock was ticking, the hours were ticking, and he knew that just as he was coming up with a plan, so was The Handler.

It was a macabre race against time, in which if he lost, he had the feeling he would never fully recover. Not without a part of his soul dying along with you.

When he found your documents, the photo they had of you was a portrait made in that last century, a small painting of your face, eternalizing your smile. Suddenly, the memory of how you'd smiled at him like that gripped him like a demon. And when the memories of you intensified, they brought no comfort, just only fear and dread. Five Hargreeves could not live with himself if those memories were tainted by the knowledge that he was the cause of his tragedy. He would never be able to remember those tender moments again if memories of you were vandalized by images of how you were killed.

It was too late to remedy the consequences of what he had unleashed. The macabre possibilities of what The Handler could do to you were there, tattooed on his brain, as if they would snap open and bolt to reality at any moment. So, as panic rose, Five Hargreeves' mind slammed shut like a heavy book. He wouldn't let any of that happen. Never.

After scheming and checking all the plans in his mind, Five decided that he had already orchestrated the almost perfect scheme. He would destroy all of your documents and, when he had done that, he could no longer remain on the Commission. Thus, he would steal the mission from one of the agents about killing John F. Kennedy, the time that most closely matched his calculations to return to the family in 2019. Then Five Hargreeves would evade The Commission and deal with them without being an employee anymore. And even if they went after him, they would never find you.

Not even Five.

And so it was done.

-----------

Five Hargreeves went through the reunion with his family, faced the commission agents coming after him to kill him, dealt with The Handler and put up with his siblings drama.

In a matter of weeks, he had already gotten himself into so much trouble and confusion that sometimes he didn't even have time to breathe. Processing events and digesting them had become a luxury he no longer had, and saving the world from one apocalypse and falling into another had seemed to become a family pastime.

But there were nights. Cold, when the moon reached its apex in the sky and the rain poured down on the ground, when he was finally able to be alone and clear his mind. In those rare moments, the only thing on his mind was you.

Always you.

His point of peace, his refuge from his constant stress and pressure was in the images of you. In the way your body fit perfectly in his hands, in the way your gaze, enchanted and completely shining, did not leave his. Five Hargreeves felt that, like him at that moment, there was no other place you would rather be.

Twenty years could go by, but he would still feel what it was like to have your warmth in his arms, in the smell that your perfume exhaled and in the way the candles in the candelabra glowed on your skin. You were like a goddess, dancing at that ball as if the world would never be graced with such beauty again.

When Five Hargreeves closed his eyes, he could see you perfectly. Swirling around as if the ground were your clouds and everyone there were mere mortals, watching what the angels in heaven looked like.

It was like a dark paradise. He managed to slake some of that suffocating tightness in his chest whenever he returned to those memories, but it resulted in more flagellations in his poor, tortured soul. The notion that he would never have anything but memories, dreams, and mowed wishes, would skin him alive until his last days. Five would forever be haunted by the notion that, even when he died, you wouldn't be waiting on the other side.

You would be in heaven. And he belonged in hell.

But, it was worth it.

All the pain, all the desperation his soul struggled with, all the shortness of breath that coiled in his lungs, all the feeling of being stabbed with a dagger knowing his would never lay hands on you again, it was all worth it when he reviewed your face in his memories.

Five Hargreeves didn't clamored for relief from his pain, balm for the cuts deep in his soul, a minute's mercy. No, he accepted all of his fate with his head held high. He clamored for you to be okay. Safe, happy. Free from any worries or tribulations. He wished you had forgotten about him, erased that night from your blood, because it would be impossible to live if he knew you were suffering just like him.

Five Hargreeves had never given you a single kiss, tucked your hair in his fingers and tasted your tongue, but he didn't need it. His soul didn't need that to fall madly in love with you.

Yes, pure and perfect passion. It was the only logical explanation for how he felt about you.

Even though he never tasted your skin in his mouth, or touched you without the interference of a piece of clothing, Five Hargreeves was in love with you.

And it would be for the rest of his life.

-----------

All the Hargreeves siblings thought all was well when the Commission was defeated and they got a briefcase to take them back at home. The nightmare of the second apocalypse had already passed and now the feeling that invaded their bodies was one of relief. For a second, Klaus thought that everything would now be back on track; with the family together, stronger ties and improved relationships.

Everyone thought so, actually.

The shimmering blue flash engulfed all the brothers, passing through the barriers of space and time, leaving the Hargreeves in the mansion where they grew up and spent most of their lives. Everyone looked happy, relaxed. And Five also shared the same relief.

Until that fateful moment.

Until a draft of wind enter through the window behind him and hitting his back, bringing a feeling that immediately made every hair on his body stand on end. In a matter of seconds, all sense of relief, calm, and peace were shattered, exploding one by one with the same aggressiveness of a nuclear bomb. The world seemed to stumble and stoped, the colors of the hemisphere fluidized into a vintage orange, flickering, almost as if the lighting came from candles.

As much as his siblings were laughing and making noises, everything for Five was quiet, in a tacit silence. The sound of cars on the streets did not exist anymore, the conversations disappeared, and, little by little, the only thing he could hear was his own heartbeat. Increasing in tempo gradually, like a soundtrack.

Then, in the apex of silence, when Five could already hear the blood rushing through his veins, he listened.

Five.

Your voice in the wind, almost like a whisper. Calling for him. Just like you did a long time ago.

His soul gave a scream that shook him to the very bones, and he didn't notice when his eyes widened and his breath hitched. Suddenly, his whole body came back to life, being pulled sharply from the bottom of the ocean, submerging, desperately, breathless, astonished. Abruptly, the heat returned to his hands, to his cheeks, to his heart. Five could feel warmth coursing through his body as if they had rekindled the flame of his soul.

Was like resurrect.

He looked back in one jerk, spinning in place, heart pounding in his ribcage, his frantic, frantic eyes darting around every corner.

Nothing.

“Hey, are you okay?” Klaus looked back, focusing on his brother, but Five didn't respond.

He walked past Klaus as if he couldn't hear him, his eyes and hands trembling visibly, his step tight. Five chased the wind current as if he were chased his life, oblivious to anything or anyone.

His siblings, finding the situation strange, followed him without hesitation, accompanying the owner with green eyes entering more in the house. They had no idea what to expect, or what to think, but they stopped behind Five as he froze in the middle of the living room, eyes petrified, wide, fixed on a very specific spot at the top of the stairs.

But nobody noticed what he saw.

While all the Hargreeves were taken aback by Reginald's appearance in the outer corner of the room, stunned and petrified, growing more and more stunned as their father went on to explain the situation, Five couldn't take his eyes off the top of the stairs. Nothing in the world would have made him look elsewhere.

You.

Fucking hell...you.

There, standing next to people he didn't care to find out who they were, looking down, observing at the people who had just entered.

Suddenly, everything inside him was whipped by currents of electricity, as if he'd been struck by lightning. An argument seemed to be brewing in the background, but Five Hargreeves didn't fucking care. May the world explode, may everything end up in dust, fire or water. He didn't want to know.

You were there. With the sunlight coming through the large windows behind your back, and illuminating your silhouette as if you were a deity, a goddess, a muse. You shone. Like the gates of heaven. At that moment, the soul of Five Hargreeves fell to his knees in front of you. For you.

An extremely strong emotion invaded him without asking permission, destroying everything he once was. Five felt like crying.

As a war in the background unfolded, the people who were beside you started to descend the stairs one by one. But he couldn't take his eyes off you.

“Five. Five.” Luther seemed to call out to him in the background, but he didn't care.

You walked down the steps the same way you glided through that ballroom, as if the floor were your clouds. Yours robes were uniform this time, but Five was pretty sure that behind that high collar, your skin harbored a birthmark on your collarbone. Your hair was down, but he knew how you looked with your strands tied up.

With each step you took, more his pulse quickened. It was like a dream, a mirage, his oasis in the scorching desert. At some point in the battle against the Commission he had died, and that was his dream.

However, Luther's hand gripped his arm, forcing his green eyes to meet his brother's.

“Dude, what's wrong with you? Didn't you hear dad saying that we're in another reality?”

“I am not your father.” Reginald countered. “Not in this reality.”

Five frowned, rationality slowly returning to his body, his brain taking over once more. A parallel reality. That explained a lot. A reality where…you existed.

Holy shit.

Someone said the Hargreeves had better go, and Five would have laughed out loud if he hadn't submerged in thoughts. If they really was in a parallel reality, that meant you didn't remember him. You didn't even know him. The version who have danced with him was still in another century, in a timeline far, far away.

But…Five looked up. You radiated the same beauty of the romantic period as before, your skin still looked feather soft, your lips still where able to take away his complete self-control, your eyes still have… the same glow that he remembered so many times during so many nights.

You didn't know him, but that didn't matter. Because Five knew you.

He suffered the worst of martyrdoms all this time, and now that he'd finally, finally found you once more, he wasn't going to leave. Even if it meant having to make you fall in love with him all over again. In fact, Five Hargreeves would dedicate his entire lives to making you fall in love with him all over again in every reality there is. He would have as many times as necessary a first dance with you.

He didn't realize it, but his lips lifted in a smile. In a snap of fingers, everything reached a apex, higher than the buildings, higher even to the clouds. All the problems evaporated like mist in the sun, and being in a parallel reality, with a father that wasn't his, in a house that wasn't the one he grew up in, seemed to be extremely insignificant.

For the first time in a long time, Five Hargreeves was happy. And nothing would change that.

That's when, amidst all the arguing the Hargreeves and Sparrows were having around, your eyes met his. And for him it was like coming home after an excruciating winter.

You cocked your head slightly to the side, intrigued by the way that man was looking at you so…surrendered. You understood the gravity of the situation, of those strangers breaking into your home and trying to claim everything as theirs. You were also irritated just like your siblings.

But... when you looked at that man… with eyes so green and hair so dark, something inside you caught your breath. A shiver went up your spine. And maybe you were crazy, but you can swear that felt your soul heave a sigh of…relief. A strange, emotional feeling reverberated through your spirit as if…somehow you'd just found what you've spent so long waiting to met again.

It don’t make sense.

As the confrontation unfolded between the two families, you couldn't help but notice that, minute by minute, you found yourself wanting to look at this man more. As if it were never going to be enough, as if the second you turned your head, you were overcome with an insane urge to see more. You should be focused on trying to get those strangers out of your house, not admiring one of them.

But Five realized that. A spark inside him vibrated with hope, and he delighted in being able to relive the feeling of what it was like to be looked at by you again.

But before he or you could even do anything, the physical feud between the two families broke out with astonishing speed, spreading like the plague. Diego, as usual, was the first to go into battle, followed by Luther and Allison.

See, you didn't consider yourself a confrontational person. Your peculiarity was to manipulate the natural elements and, although that made you one of the strongest figures among your siblings, you had a more adventurous spirit than a fighter. There was no such homeric thirst in your blood to be the best, the strongest, the most brutal. Ben said that was the most unattractive thing about you, but Sloane saw this feature with good eyes. Like you, she wasn't much inclined to brutality.

The fight drove you and Five away from each other, separated by rooms, siblings and war. You saw your family appeal to brute aggression very quickly, while, if you're honest, you didn't want to hurt anyone. Is trut that you were irritated by the way they claimed your house as theirs, but you didn't think they were bad people.

Or all this bland resolutions were for the fact that you didn't want to hurt him. Because, in some way you couldn't explain, you knew he wouldn't hurt you.

But that's when Alphonso yelled at you from upstairs. “Y/N! Do fucking something too!”

Everyone was scattered around the house, but you still remained downstairs, in the living room, arranging a way to help without being very aggressive like your siblings were being. You had no intention of killing or seriously injuring them, but you also weren't willing to put up with the scolding your brothers would give you if you continued to be omitte.

So, when one of the strangers came running to get away from something, the tail of his dark overcoat dancing in the air and his black hat toppling along the path, your reaction was to do the one thing that couldn't seem to do any real damage. In a wave of the hand, the windows were shattered by large, sprawling tree roots, that came out of the garden earth like thick snakes and entered the house in a steady stream.

The man gave a high-pitched scream, but his feet were already entwined by the roots and he was knocked to the ground. The roots, which spilled earth over the floor and exhaled a forest smell, wrapped themselves around the man's body up to his chest, with the only purpose of immobilizing him.

You weren't putting force or brutality, and you were sure the roots were just putting considerable pressure on, like a bandage around an injured arm. But the man didn't seem to notice this, because he kept screaming.

The fear should still be clouding his senses, and you revealed the situation. For it wasn't often that someone was wrapped around by giant roots that moved of their own accord. In your place, you would have reacted that way too.

“Hey, hey” you tried to get closer “It's ok, they won't hurt you and…”

But your speech was interrupted by shrill hum, which cut through the air with force and passed like a bullet in front of your face, shaking a few locks of your hair. The speed were frightening, and for a second your heart stopped in your chest. The fright made you take two steps back immediately, but in a matter of seconds any feeling was replaced by a very strong burning in your left cheek. In the same second, a hot liquid began to ooze from your injured skin like water in a current, spreading pain wherever went.

Two seconds that were able to put you face to face with death. Because that attack was not joking.

The bearded man ran to help the one who was lying on the ground, forcing his freedom between the roots that were now weak due to your distraction.

Unlike you, Diego didn't care about the things he had to do to save his family. He was willing to injure, inflict permanent damage, even killing if that was the only way out. He would have a guilty conscience later, but in the heat of the moment, he wouldn't hesitate. Diego did this to the Commission agents hours ago, and he would do this to you if he had to. As sure as the sky was blue, the Sparrows were the enemy. And he was the hero. Thats it. Two polar opposites, destined to face each other into the death.

And that was why he didn't hesitate to attack when he saw Klaus lying on the floor, screaming as if he were being killed. After getting a small taste of the kind of things your powers were capable of doing, it was pretty clear that you were one of the first ones that needed to go down. So Diego didn't hesitate either when he pulled Klaus off the ground, and wielded yet another dagger. Aiming not to hurt, but to kill.

But love could drive even the smartest minds crazy.

Because when the dagger was thrown in the air, a blue flash invaded the scene and a male body enveloped yours, pushing both of you aside in a rough, protective, intense gesture.

Five Hargreeves was on the stair railing, fighting Jayme, when Klaus's screams grab his attention. He didn't have much time to process what he was seeing, but the moment one of Diego's daggers slashed across your cheek, the primal, visceral instinct he'd felt so long ago, with The Handler on The Commission, roared through him like an angry beast. So when another dagger was wielded and thrown into the air, he didn't think twice, didn't hesitate, didn't blink.

Dropping everything behind, Five Hargreeves dove into the blue flash, having you as the only focus in mind.

As soon as the crash of his body with yours caused you both to leave the deadly path, the arms, masculine and wide, wrapped around your back as if he were holding the only anchorage on the high seas in the middle of a storm. His heart was pounding in his chest, and as much that adrenaline, primal instinct and rage were bubbling through his body, he still managed to feel his soul sighing in deep relief when felt your warmth again in his arms.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

Diego's angry roar seemed to shake the walls, but didn't stop the obstinate, angry look that swallowed Five's expression.

“Diego…” his voice didn't match the situation the Hargreeves found themselves in. His tone was serious, steady, so calm it was terrifying, like the warning of darkness to the light. “Stay away from her.”

His brother's confused and perplexed look couldn't have been more accentuated. And even Klaus, known for being the least serious about situations, looked completely astonished. Five Hargreeves didn't held you like he was preventing a murder. No. He held you like Cerberus should have held the only person he was ever loyal to.

"You are fucking crazy?!" Diego gestured with his hands “Let go the enemy now!”

The Hargreeves have been through a lot, seen a lot. Many of them being absurd, beyond any rationality or law of physics, moments in which they had to deal with situations that were not possible to be of this world. But nothing, and no one, could have prepared Diego and Klaus for what they heard from Five;

"Never."

The moment was dispersed when Viktor appeared in the room, shaking, hurt, out of his mind. His head fell back in a single gesture, his arms opened up and the fists closed, as white lights began to shoot out from within his eyes and chest.

Five Hargreeves knew what that meant.

He didn't think twice before running to the side, hiding you behind the bar counter and lowering you two bodies to the floor. His body in front of yours, blocking access to the roughest impact in you.

You two had three seconds, three seconds to look into each other's eyes before the flash explodes. And in that three seconds, the only thing that passed in the soul of both of you was the feeling of finally being where should be.

-----------

"They're stupid villains who think they're smart!" Ben was furious in the kitchen, pacing back and forth.

The last few days had passed like this. With Ben angry about the invasion, Ben angry about the fight, Ben angry about Marcus disappearing, Ben angry about... well... he was always angry.

Of all your siblings, he had the worst temper. Fei and Christopher were practically his dogs, going along with all of Ben's stupid plans just because... you really didn't know why they followed him so fervently, but had a theory that it was because they both thought they would have more power when Ben's plans came to fruition.

A hierarchical system that filled the family with toxicity.

On the other hand, there were Jayme and Alphonso. You never really understood the two, but you described them as bullies. A duo who liked the power they had and how they managed to exert it over people.

The only one you could relate to more deeply was Sloane.

"It would have been better if Y/n had made an attack." Alphonso brought your name up in conversation, his gaze full of rancor.

"Fuck off, asshole" It was the only thing you deigned to say, because you didn't have the patience to deal with his comments at the time.

The truth is, since the invasion, you couldn't get him out of your mind.

It was like a drug, an addiction, that had seeped into your blood from the first time you laid eyes on him. There was something there, something you could never explain. He should be the enemy. Your enemy. But…

The way he saved you from the knives, the way his arms wrapped around you. Almost like he already knows how to hold you. How to protect you.

Your heart couldn't slow down whenever your thoughts returned to that man. From the memory of him placing his body in front of you, standing at the forefront of the explosion.

He saved you. Everytime. And there was something that told you he would save you every chance he got.

The truth was…you wanted to see him. Know his name. Talk with him. There was no longer a fiber of your being that saw the situation as your siblingsdid, your body was facing the complete opposite north.

You wanted to touch him, not fight with him.

When time passed, and Luther showed up at the mansion as someone who was kidnapped, you, again, did not see the situation as a beneficial opportunity for your family. But for you.

Suddenly, your entire soul was gripped by a completely unsettling anxiety that made your hands itch, stomach churn, and your legs unable to stay still. Then you were swept by a feeling of deep sadness, as if you'd already experienced what it was like to spend your whole life wanting to see that man and never getting.

There was no more logic, rationality or coherence to what you were feeling, but finding him was as indispensable as breathing.

That's why you volunteered - more like an imposition - that you would be the one to escort Luther home the moment Ben said he could leave.

“It was kind of you to accompany me” The blond man smiled at you, as the two of you walked through the night streets.

"It was nothing." You tried to sound casual, but with every step toward your destination, the more your hands itched, the more your heart was racing, and in a moment, you found yourself picking up the pace to get there faster.

“I have to confess that you were a topic of discussion between my brothers.” Luther laughed, his odd way of bringing up the subject and not mincing words.

But that got your attention. "What do you mean?"

“A-ahem…well…from what I understand, Diego wanted to kill you, but Five stopped him and…”

Five…Five

His name was Five.

Something inside you stirred. An unfamiliar emotion, but one that made a smile rise to yourcheeks.

“Five” you tried to say aloud, and his name just… felt right on your lips.

You went the rest of the way not being able to pay attention to a single syllable Luther was saying. You don't wanted to be rude, but you just… couldn't stop thinking about Five.

“How long before we get there?” you cut off something Luther was saying about Sloane, and the blond eyebrows drawing together in strangeness.

“Actually” he looked at the big hotel in front of him “We already arrived and…”

But you couldn't stop yourself. All of your muscles felt like they had undergone countless electrical discharges, your heart was faster than any living soul has ever been, and your blood was rushing through your veins like marathon runners. You increased your pace considerably, quickly climbing the steps and opening the doors of that building as if you had just walked through the gates of paradise.

You needed to see him.

Luther came up behind you, giving you a suspicious look and walking towards a bar, where the outlines of several people were talking.

-----------

"I returned." Luther's voice brought Five out of his thoughts, and a part of her brain tried to remember the time his brother had left.

And he didn't find any answers.

To his defence, Five's mind had been elsewhere these days. Moments when he rewound in his mind once, twice, three times. Not even the impending new apocalypse knocking on the door seemed to have any effect on Five. To be honest, he… saw no point in trying to save the world this time. Meeting you once was a miracle, but meeting you again, in an entirely different reality and without The Commission making things difficult, seemed like too much of a luxury for him to ignore.

The truth was that in the first attempt to escape the apocalypse he ended up sending the family to different times, with intervals of years between each one. And, deep down, he didn't know if he could handle trying to take you with him to another reality and end up losing you too.

Five had been through this once before. He knew pain too well not to be willing to risk it.

“What is the enemy doing here?!"

Diego's voice snapped Five out of his thoughts, and an electric current shot through his head and reverberated down to his toes. Immediately, without any hesitation, his eyes flew away, finding not just Luther - whit several bags in hand - but you beside him.

You.

Something inside him ignited, his heart raced and, for a moment, the whole world around him fell away.

But just for a moment, because Diego was already getting up from his seat.

“Hey. Hey!” Five teleported away, once again placing the body in front of you . “What the hell do you think you are doing?”

“What would anyone do to the enemy! What are you doing? Defending a stranger again?!"

“She is not a stranger, Diego. Now be quiet in your place before I have to do it for you.”

"She is not?" Klaus and Viktor said in unison

"I'm not?" Your voice, the only one that mattered to him, came from behind his back, quieter than the others but loud enough for him to hear.

Five turned towards you, turning his back on his siblings. Unlike how he looked at Diego, his eyes held all the softness and attention in the world when they met yours. A small smile appeared at the corner of his left mouth, a secret smile, hidden from the world but revealed only to you.

"It's a long story," he admitted, having no idea how to start. How to tell something that even to him don't make sense.

“I came to see you.” you rewarded his honesty with another truth, a gleam crossing his eyes like shooting stars. “I have time to listen.”

A smile blossomed on his lips, and Five was overcome by the purest feeling of happiness. Without saying anything, or giving anyone satisfaction, his hand laced into yours, and he disappeared with you in the blue flash.

-----------

Any sensible, practical, centered woman, would have laughed at what Five had just told you. Anyone who didn't get carried away by matters of the heart and didn't believe that two people, when destined to be together, are helped even by the wind, would have turned around and walked away.

But you weren't a sensible woman, nor practical, much less centered. Your being was composed of romance, adventure and magic. You fervently believed in destiny, soulmates and that some loves are capable of overcoming the barrier of space and time.

What's more, if all that wasn't enough, you also felt, from your soul to your bones, sensations that couldn't be explained. Feelings he was also saying he felt too. You believed in him. And that fact came as soft as the droplets of dew, as the brightness of the moon.

After his account came to end, with him letting himself be vulnerable in telling all the thoughts that ever crossed his mind about you, the urge to say just one thing screamed your blood rumbling. “You��re no the villain in my story” your words hung in the air.

“I am,” Five's voice brimmed with a liquid honesty that was able to chill your bones, but nothing in his words hinted at remorse for the things he'd already done. “But i'll be the villain for you. Not to you. I'll let worlds burn again if it means keeping you alive. In a problematic way, that I'll never be able to explain, I don't feel guilty about doing something if it means your safety.”

Five Hargreeves expected many things. Many different reactions. Many words of contradiction. But never what happened next.

Your mouth, without any hesitation, joined his in a kiss that was capable of making his world explode. His body was ignited by a fire that swallowed even his soul, washing away all his sins and giving a demon a taste of heaven.

So what was it like to kiss a goddess? An angel, a muse.

If before, without even touching your skin without the interference of clothing, Five would have happily accepted going to hell, now, with your hot mouth melting into his like warm honey, he would accept the torture of eternal fire with a smile on his face.

And when the small kiss intensified into something much bigger, his hands, warm and masculine, wrapped possessively around your waist. There was no going back. There was no turning back. Five would keep you for himself in the same selfishness that a villain steals a princess. And there was no hero in the world capable of pulling you away of his clutches.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” He found the last bit of strength to let you know when your hands untied his tie “I could really hurt you.”

But all good intentions evaporated when your eyes, eager and full of desire, blinked at him. There was an addictive sweetness in that look. The way your lashes fluttered against your cheeks, the way your eyes held tinges of delicious submission but hid an incendiary fire behind them.

Fucking damn. He wanted you so badly.

"I don't care." Your breathless whisper invaded the room. But he didn't know if you understood the seriousness of the situation.

“Y/n.” his hands cupped your face. “I spent a lot of time contenting just for the way you looked at me. Spending sleepless nights reliving what it was like to feel the contour of your waist in my hand.” His voice was serious, deep, rough like sand scraping against stone. “Do you have any idea of the things I'm going to do to you now that I can finally, finally, have you?” his pitch lowered a few notes, like a predator talking to its prey.

You didn't know it, but only imagination made yours thighs tighten.

“I can destroy you.” his lips went to the foot of your ear, down to the curve of your neck, inhaling your scent and tasting you. “I can leave your body purple, your breasts bitten, your hips marked by the aggressiveness of mine whenever I enter on you.”

A moan escaped your mouth, fingers tightening on his arms, head lolling to the side.

Oh lord, please he do that.

Five's hands went up to your shoulders, in a touch that became more and more possessive, gluttonous, as if he wanted to swallow you.

“I can spend hours fucking you.” his fingers lowered the straps of your dress, letting the fabric fall unceremoniously to the floor. Five pulled his face away enough to be able to look at your body fully, and a husky growl followed right away. “I can kill you.”

Here, in that moment, Five Hargreeves was giving you one last chance to give up, to make him tame the villain he was and who would destroy you for any other man.

If you slept with Five Hargreeves, you would never stop being his.

"Do it." but you didn't have an ounce of self-preservation in the inner body "please."

You didn't have to beg twice. His hands pulled your legs up, making you place your feet on his hips and hug him with your legs. Your back hit the closed bedroom door as Hargreeves' mouth claimed all it could of his. Twisting your tongue around his, biting and sucking on your bottom lip, he was beginning to mark you as his in a single kiss.

“You have no idea how much I want you.” his confession was more of a hoarse groan, hands fumbling with his belt and lowering the waistband of his pants.

Under other circumstances, he would have sucked you until drive you unconscious, pushing your walls with his fingers until you begged for his cock. But he didn't have the presence of mind to do that now. Not now. Not today. He warned of the consequences of wanting to continue at that moment. But you wanted, you begged, and now he was no longer afraid of being able to fuck you with all the vehemence he needed.

Your moans invaded the room very quickly, your waist, even if limited by the door, moved in his groin, exorcising any common sense and control that Five once had.

He pushed your panties to the side impolitely and entered you in one single, glorious, primal thrust. His cock slid in with extreme ease, being completely soaked by the way your pussy was so slick.

“Oh fucking hell” his growl sent even more waves of pleasure to your uterus, and you pressed your mouth to his neck to keep from screaming.

That's when he withdrew and pushed himself into you. Strong, brute. Hitting until found the bottom of the well. His thrusts began relentlessly, thrusting in and out of you aggressively, possessively, almost animalistic. Five's hands were all over yourbody, fingerprinting every bit of your flesh. The nails digging into your waist when you contracted and squeezed him within your plush walls.

“Fuck. fuck.” his groans mingled with the attrition of the bodies of you two against the door, which sent loud, telltale noises throughout the hotel.

But you would rather die than stop.

His cock suddenly hit a place that made your moans come out too loud. Tears began to pool in the corner of your eyes, and your toes curled.

“Oh do you feel this, baby?” Five teased you, digging himself as deep as possible anatomically and rubbing the tip of his cock there, eliciting sly, desperate cries from you "That's your cervix."

Then he went back to fucking you aggressively, this time pulling his chest away from you and digging his hands hard into the flesh of your hips, pulling you towards him at a intensity that could only be described as animalistic.

This was better than anything he had ever tasted in his life. Better than any sin. Better than any whiskey.

His cock desecrated your pussy like it was the only thing that mattered in the world, pulling thick liquids out of you that enveloped him in pasty white rings. Five Hargreeves would ensure that whenever you thought of any man, your mind was invaded by the way he fucked you.

"I will… I will…" your tearful voice blended with the noise of the door slamming and your bodies bumping into each other.

“Thats right, baby” his mouth covered your “cum for me. cum so I can fill that gluttonous pussy with my cum.”

If the way he thrust in and out of you wasn't enough to make you come, his lines had done the job. You came in a glorious explosion of stars, colors and sensations. Your body contracted with absurd force and relaxed like the best of massages. Your arms went limp around his neck, and you could feel his cock tremble and the hot, thick liquid fill your entire pussy.

The noise of the door stopped, his moans calmed down and now the only thing that could be heard was the heavy breathing in the air.

You thought it was over, until Five climbs a hand to your neck and lets out a broken growl "'You look so good with my hand wrapped around your throat, baby."

His cock moved inside you, moving in and out smoothly, pushing his cum even deeper inside you. Make sure you gobble it all up.

“Did you think we were done, princess?” he chuckled evilly, his lips moving closer until they were inches from yours. "I'm just getting started. I'm going to show you how much I've wanted you this whole fucking time.”

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violetflowerswrites · 8 months ago

Text

I’ll Be Here

Summary: After a traumatic injury, your SWAT roommate turned boyfriend (?) Jim Street strives to take care of you, and meet all of your needs.

Pairing: Jim Street x (Female) Reader

Disclaimer: Minor mentions of leg injury, meds, and recovery with wheelchair, casts, and crutches. Reader has a protective older sister. One scene of nightmares, mentions of trauma. Discussion of child abuse, drug use, drunkenness, in Street’s family history. Filthy Smut. Oral sex (female receiving). Consensual P in V sex. 18+ for explicit smut, and language

Word Count: 4.0k

A/N: I felt like there needed to be one more epilogue / ending to this Street x Roommate fic series. It picks up directly after the ending of Part Two (Taking it Slow). I got a little caught up fleshing out her backstory and recovery journey, but there’s a bit of angst, a bit of fluff, and quite a bit of smut. I added some details from Season 4, Ep 2 as well. It’s a slower paced story than what I normally like, but I still had a fun hell of time writing it. Enjoy!

Part One Here - “Too Complicated”

Part Two Here - “Taking It Slow”

Masterlist Here

…

The click of the door makes the two of you startle, and quickly.

“Commander Hicks is gonna put you on armory duty for a week for pulling a stunt like that.”

“Hey, Tan.” Street smiles at his teammate’s lack of greeting. Classic Tan — a bit of hard-ass, but always means well. “Hicks already chewed my ear off on the phone earlier.”

“Figured. I just wanted to come down, see how my friend’s sister was doing. I already briefed her on what happened. She’s on her way back from a case up in Burbank.”

“Thank you, Victor.” You breathe out a sigh of relief.

Victor Tan was co-workers with your older sister back from his days in LAPD’s Hollywood Vice division. When you decided to move to LA, she figured you being roommates with a SWAT officer was the safest place you could be.

But the world is a dangerous place, even if you live with Jim Street, LAPD SWAT.

Victor looks you up and down, noticing that besides being a little pale, and having a massive cast on your leg, you don’t seem to be in pain.

Then, he notices the way that Street is standing— body turned to yours, hand hovering on the bedside protectively, as if he wanted to hold your hand at any given moment.

“Hold on, don’t tell me you two are a thing now.”

A hot flush creeps up your skin and you and Street immediately stumble over your responses.

“We were trying to take it slow—“

“and not make things too complicated…”

“but then this happened so…”

“We don't really know what we are, but I do know that I am so so grateful for you Victor. You and Street helped save my life.”

You end your rush of words with a watery smile, emotion cracking your voice.

Tan looks down sheepishly, immediately trying to be casual about it.

“Nah, Y/N. It was the tourniquet you made that probably saved your life. You gave us a big scare today, but I am glad to see you’re okay.”

“That makes 3 of us.”

A petite, fierce-looking female cop stands in the doorway of the hospital room, her hand sweeping back some stray hairs that fell out of her tight bun in her rush to get to you.

…

Your bad-ass cop sister stays over for a week while you recover, watching Street like a hawk. You’re so hopped up on pain-killers that you barely notice the tension between them.

Street on the other hand, feels like he’s being evaluated in some test he didn’t train for. He couldn’t take time off, so he’s eager to see you whenever he gets home. But most of the time, your sister is hovering over you, helping you adjust to moving around in the wheelchair, and making sure you are eating your meals and taking all your meds correctly.

One late evening while you’re supposed to be sleeping, you overhear your sister confront him.

“So. When were you gonna tell me you’re fucking my sister?”

Street spits out the beer he just took a sip of. He’s barely exchanged more than a few sentences to your sister, and that was when she helped you move in a few months ago.

“Uh…”

“I see the way you look at her. I’m pretty sure I warned you that this arrangement was solely to keep her safe while living in this neighborhood. Didn’t expect you guys to fuck so quickly.”

Damn. Your sister is known to be blunt, but this is next level. You remembered how she reacted when your dick-head of a college ex-boyfriend broke your heart. He was sorry to have ever known you after that.

“About that…” Street starts, but gets cut off with a raised palm in his face.

“Before you say anything, I’m not an idiot. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. She hasn’t told me yet, but I know. She’s down bad for you, Street.”

You automatically pull your covers up in embarrassment, hearing your sister lay all your feelings out in the open like that. She’s right though, you’ve fallen hard for him and it’s not just because he saved your life a week ago.

It’s because he's an empathetic listener to your rants about work, LA traffic, anything.

It’s the way he notices the small things, like when you're stress baking, or when you have your shoulders hunched up in frustration at the kitchen counter.

It’s how he gently pries your closed off doors open, helping you heal from your past.

It’s how he loves you, in such a sweet, gentle way that only he can.

“So you have 2 days before I go back to Vice to show me that you can take care of her.”

“You’re leaving?”

“Well, I don’t want to, but we’re about to make a big drug bust and my team needs me. Y/N is strong. She can take care of herself, but I worry about her. Her surgery was intense, and it’s gonna be a long recovery. I was gonna have her live with me for a few months, but I don’t think she wants to be away from you.”

“Thank you.” Street lets out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. He may be a big bad SWAT officer, but your 5 foot nothing of a cop sister scared the shit out of him.

“Don’t thank me yet.”

…

That weekend, you get the full princess treatment from Street. He helps train your upper body strength to be able to lift yourself on and off your wheelchair. He takes you to the park to get some sun, and makes sure the entire house is wheelchair friendly so you can move around independently. He rearranges the fridge and pantry so that your favorite foods are all easily reachable from your lower height. He even meal-preps some home-cooked lunches to have while you go back to work on Monday.

Working with your sister, he re-arranges his schedule so he can drive you to the office in the morning and your sister can take you home.

On Sunday evening, you read out a long string of dates as Street writes all your upcoming appointments on the fridge-calendar and your sister says which ones she can take you to, and which ones she needs Street to help drive you.

“Well…fuck.” Your sister swears, which only happens when she’s particularly exasperated.

”What? What’s wrong?” You look up from your laptop with your Google calendar open.

“Y/N, I didn’t wanna admit it, but you got a good one here.”

An ear-splitting grin spreads across Street’s face as he realizes what she means.

You obviously told your sister that you overheard Friday night’s conversation, and all of what’s been going on between you and Street…minus the mind-blowing sex.

“He passed?” You ask eagerly, hopeful stars in your eyes.

“He never had to pass anything in the first place, Y/N. If you chose him, that’s all the approval I needed to know. I trust you. I was just giving him a hard time, because I love you.”

You burst out laughing while Street spits out a flabbergasted “The hell did I try so hard for?!”

“That’s what big sisters are for. Y/N deserves all the princess treatment she can get. We put our lives on the line every day, but she doesn’t normally have to. She’s gonna need you, Street.”

Street places a reassuring hand on your sisters’ shoulder.

“I’ll be here.”

…

Street lives up his promise, taking care of you through some of the worst physical and emotional pain you’ve ever been in.

He’s there at your physical therapy appointments, making sure you’re practicing the exercises at home even when you just want to lie down from exhaustion.

He’s there holding your hand even though you squeeze him until his fingers go numb. It hurts him to see your face contort with unexpected pain when the meds wear off and you try putting some weight on your leg for the first time in weeks.

He’s there when the trauma sets in. He notices when you’re on the couch in the evenings, the TV on, but you’re not really watching. He holds you tightly while you wake up in the middle of night crying, reliving the moment you almost died.

He’s there through it all.

…

“How do you deal with it?”

You’re sitting upright in bed, the soft yellow glow of the bedside lamp warming the darkness of the middle of the night.

“Deal with what?”

Street’s sitting next to you, holding your hand while your sweat-soaked forehead leans against his shoulder, your racing heartbeat finally slowing down.

Your breath draws in and out in a steady rhythm as you calm yourself from your latest nightmare with his comforting presence.

Street ran into your room when he heard you. That’s been the third night in a row that you’ve woken up to the sound of your own screaming.

“Deal with trauma. Not the physical pain, but those horrible moments that just keep flashing before your eyes every time you close them.”

“Well, I’ve been dealing with trauma my whole life I guess.”

Street has already talked to you about growing up in the foster system, because his dad was a drunk. You knew that his mom was in jail for killing him, but Street didn’t go into details. You knew as much as he hated talking about his past, he hated talking about his complicated relationship with his mom even more.

“Last week, we were surveilling a house, trying to get someone for the CIA, and I saw a kid. A little boy, covered in bruises on his back porch. He looked so alone, and so scared.”

“What happened?”

“I got into it with Hondo a bit, almost compromised the mission because I wanted to get him out of that abusive home.”

“Did you?”

“Yes. But it brought back a lot of memories, and none of them good.”

It was your turn to comfort Street as you could hear his breath come in shudders as he thought back to his rough childhood.

“Have I ever told you that my earliest memory of kindergarten was my mom putting makeup on my chin to cover up my dad’s crappy weekend?”

“No.” The word comes out in a saddened whisper. “You’ve never told me that one before.”

“Well, it’s not something that comes up in casual conversation. And I’ve tried a lot of things to make sure I never have to mention those moments.”

“What kinds of things?”

Street lets out a wry chuckle.

“What haven’t I tried? Drugs, alcohol. Thrill seeking. Street racing. Driving way past the speed limit.”

“You still do that one.”

Street laughs genuinely now. “Yeah, but not where I’ll get caught by cops.”

“You are a cop!”

He chuckles again, but quiets down into contemplative silence.

“For many years, I just poured myself into my job. Climbing the ladder until I could make something of myself. Run away as far as I could from that childhood me. The one with the drunk dad, jailed mom. The helpless foster kid.”

“It didn’t help, did it?”

“No. Not really.”

“Then, how did you heal?”

Street looks down at you now, his heart breaking to see tears streaming down your face. He’s certain those are empathetic tears, tears for his hardships. His rough childhood. Pangs of guilt wash over him.

He doesn’t deserve your tears.

Then, he sees the way you’re looking at him. The way you’re holding him in a bone-crushing embrace. Well, as tightly as you could possibly hold all of his heavily-muscled torso.

So, he sucks in a grounding breath and reminds himself that you’re crying because you care about him. Because you love him.

And it’s okay to accept your love.

Street caresses your cheek with a strong hand, and thumbs off a few of your tears.

“I’m still healing. But when those moments come, I’ve learned that it helps to talk about it.”

All those late-night bike rides down the California coastline could never truly help him escape from his problems.

He thinks back to all the people in his life who’ve helped him open up. Who’ve confronted him on his bullshit and made him stop running away.

Hondo and Buck.

Chris, Deacon, Tan, and Luca.

Even his ex-girlfriend, Molly Hicks.

As much as he hates to admit it, putting his trauma out in the open was better than keeping it in.

Your hand in his starts trembling and that small movement pulls him out of his thoughts.

“What if I’m not ready to talk yet?” You choke, as if you could barely get the words out.

“Then I’ll be here waiting until you are.”

…

Weeks pass in a whirlwind of work, doctors’ appointments, and recovery exercises at home. Eventually, the nightmares subside, and you start seeing a therapist to help you work through the trauma.

You graduate from the wheelchair and giant full-length cast to a bootie on your calf and ankle. The hardwood floor is littered with little dents from the first few days you learned to hobble around on crutches, but you get the hang of it quickly.

Both Street and your sister feel much more at ease leaving you at home alone, knowing that you can take care of yourself more easily now.

Except today.

Because your idiot brain put the crutches by the bathroom door instead of next to the towel rack.

And here you are, butt-naked in the shower, the floor wet and a slipping hazard, and 6 feet away from independence.

Just as you debate bear-crawling across the cold tile to grab your crutches, you hear the front door open and close.

“Street!” You call out.

Heavy footsteps rush over to the bathroom and skid to a stop as Street quickly leans his head against the door and asks urgently, “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine! I just left the crutches by the door and I can’t reach them. Can you help me get out of the shower?”

Street breathes out a sigh of relief. Ever since the accident, he finds himself panicking easily about any situation that has to do with you getting hurt.

“Of course. I’m coming in.”

You’ve managed to dry yourself off, wrap your body in a fluffy white towel, and sit on the edge of the tub.

It doesn’t go unnoticed by Street how your damp hair clings to your skin, flushed from the hot water. Lavender-scented steam hits him in a rush as he opens the door, a familiar smell to him. You love lavender shampoo, soaps, lotions, candles, anything.

He scoops you up gently, trying not to think about the last time he carried you like this was when you were bloodied, unconscious, and barely alive.

A small moan draws him out of his head immediately.

Not a moan of pain.

A moan of lust.

What?

Street freezes and gently places you on the bathroom counter, carefully holding your injured leg against his hip.

His eyes dart across your flustered face as you realize just what kind of inadvertent sound escaped your lips as soon as you were in Street’s strong arms, and you inhaled the familiar leather of his bike jacket.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Street kisses you breathless and pulls your towel down, inhaling your damp skin and that damned lavender soap that is making him dizzy with lust.

Water drips from the ends of your hair down your body, and Street licks up the river trailing from your shoulder, down the swell of your breasts, all the way to your core.

He pulls you to the edge as he kneels down in front of you. Ever-conscious of your injury, he lifts your hurt leg onto his shoulder, which only serves to widen your thighs, giving him full access.

Your knuckles tighten against the counter and your moans bounce off the tiled walls the second he licks your dripping pussy.

Street is a master at oral and it’s been weeks since you’ve had the pleasure of being his pupil.

His tongue dives first into your center, stretching your hot, leaking core. Then his lips find your clit, sucking it in gently, until the nerve endings in the sensitive nub light your body up with pleasure.

Before you have a moment to recover, his fingers find your entrance and enter with ease. Your slick gushes out, dripping onto the towel as he thrusts two fingers in and out. His knuckles curl up, searching for the spongy spot that he knows will drive you absolutely wild.

Filthy sounds of wetness fill the bathroom as he eats you out and fingers your clenched center, once, twice, three times.

Before long, his moans mix with your own as you voice your pleasure, cumming on his face in moments.

“Keep going.”

Street freezes at the first words you’ve uttered since he kissed you. It was an impulse, a lack of self-control that got him to this point in the first place.

It was seeing you nearly naked, with that damned lavender filling his nostrils that drove him crazy.

But he was going to stop. It was enough to get you off.

”I’m not done yet, Street.” You demand arrogantly, and look pointedly at the hard erection pushing against his dark-blue jeans.

“But—“

“I’ll be fine. Just hold my leg up and fuck me.”

You pull him up by the collar of his leather jacket, and kiss him roughly, panting in his ear as you lick and suckle the skin of his cheek, his neck, the underside of his jaw.

It’s been too long since you’ve had his body, his touch, his cock. You crave him with a hunger you’ve never known before.

And now that you’ve had a taste, every cell in your being is vibrating with one simple word.

More.

Needing no other encouragement, Street strips off his jacket only for you to take it and pull it over your bare shoulders.

The sight of you, fully naked except for his jacket, makes him suck in a breath.

His eyes darken immediately and he can hear his heart beat in double time.

You make him go feral.

It takes no time at all for him to rid himself of his remaining clothing, and line himself up with your pink entrance.

“You’ll tell me if I’m hurting you?” Street asks, still hesitant, even as the pre-cum of his throbbing member mixes with your juices.

“Yes.” You affirm breathlessly, feeling the round tip of his hard cock start to breach your center.

“You’ll stop me if you can’t handle it?”

“Yes.”

“You’re sure about this, Y/N?”

“Yes! Street, fill me with your cock already!”

He blushes at your filthy words, feeling the heel of your good leg dig into the small of his back, trying to draw him into your waiting core.

You finally feel him push through the tight circle of your center. You’re especially tight, having not had sex since the accident over a month ago.

Street lets out a growl as he feels your pussy gripping him, struggling to push in deeper.

But instead of pain, you only feel pleasure.

“Fuck—! That feels incredible. Go deeper, Street. Please!” You beg him, desperate for more.

He grabs your thighs, fingers digging into your soft flesh as he pulls you towards his pelvis. You can feel his cock thrust to the end, finally completely filling you with all of him.

You throw your arms around his waist, breathing heavily as the heady lavender steam only serves to make the two of you even more sex-drunk.

You hear Street suck in another deep breath before he pulls out, and slowly inches his way back into you, experimenting with how fast he should go.

How much you can handle.

But the slower pace feels heavenly to your hot, needy core. His cock stretches every part of you, pressing against your spongy center, all the way to your cervix as he thrusts down to the hilt once more.

”How’s that, Y/N? Does it hurt?” Street checks in with you again, a vein popping out of his neck as he strains to maintain his self-control. All his cock wants is to fuck you with total abandon, but he refuses to put himself first.

Your voice comes out in a stream of incoherent whimpers as you wordlessly express just how good it feels to be filled by him.

So Street cups the back of your ass, and presses you flush against him, and you cry out, feeling him impossibly deep inside.

“Oh my god! Street!”

“I’m just getting started.” He grins, licking the side of your neck as he starts to roll his hips into you.

You feel his cock slip out just a few inches only to thrust back in as far as it can go, over and over.

As you look down, you are blessed with the magnificent sight of Street’s abs clenching with every sensual roll of his body against yours.

Every slight motion pushes you to the brink of orgasm, your body almost unable to handle all the stimulation after having only known pain and discomfort for the past several weeks.

Impulsively, you bite down on Street’s shoulder, trying to expend all the pleasure you’re feeling somewhere else, muffling your moans against his muscled flesh.

“Shit! Are you biting me?” Street growls, incredulous, but also massively turned on.

“Does it hurt?” You grin mischievously, pulling his lower lip in between your teeth next.

“Yeah.”

“A good hurt, or bad hurt?”

“Good.” Another sharp inhale. “Fuck, I’m already close!”

Street’s body shudders as you feel his grip slide back to your hips, his slow thrusts giving way to a faster, more desperate rhythm.

You nibble and nip the side of his neck, the bottom of his ear, as you feel just how hot his skin is under your tongue and lips.

Another loud moan is wrenched from your throat as he hits a particularly sensitive spot inside you. His cock satisfies your body in a way you can’t describe.

You can’t wait any longer.

“Cum for me.” You whisper into his ear, demanding his obedience. His brow furrows as he tries to delay his incoming orgasm, and you kiss it, giggling as you watch him come undone by your body.

Street pushes his cock into you, your wetness making the movement easy, but your tightness gripping him like he is never supposed to separate from you again.

You lock your fingers behind the small of his back, pulling him in and clenching down until you feel his cock spurt out jets of hot cum into your core.

Street grits his teeth and heaves out the sexiest, most overstimulated moan you’ve ever heard from any man.

Your own orgasm follows right behind his, your entire being vibrating with pleasure, wetness repeatedly gushing around his cock. Your pussy stutters, muscles spasming as it tries to recover from the best sex you’ve ever had, with the biggest cock you’ve ever had.

With the most loving, caring man you’ve ever had. Your heart fills with love and contentment at the moment the two of you just shared.

This is what sex should be like - intimacy, pleasure, love.

It is truly something else.

“Y/N?” Street murmurs against your damp shoulder, slowly regaining some semblance of control and coherent thoughts.

“Mmm?”

“You know I love you, right?”

“I know.”

“I never want to hurt you.”

“I know.”

“I’ll always be here for you.”

You find the rough skin of his jaw and pry him off your body, and instead, pull his face towards you, your forehead pressing against his. As you lock eyes with the emotional gaze of your lover, you notice that he’s a little teary, and your heart melts for him even more. Jim Street. The love of your life.

“I know.”

…

#jim street x reader #Jim Street #swat #swat fic #swat smut #swat cbs #cbs swat #jim street fic #Jim street smut #jim street imagine #street x reader

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zepskies · 2 years ago

Text

Series Masterlist - Break Me Down

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader

Summary: You’re a private investigator by trade, but now you happily sit at a desk — leading a surveillance team at Supe Affairs. After managing to end Homelander in New York, Soldier Boy escapes custody. You are recruited for the manhunt, joining Butcher’s team.

Truly, you joined the S.A. for the right reasons. But after you become his accidental hostage, Soldier Boy will break down every single one of them…

AN: For those of you who enjoyed “Checkerboard,” here’s the requested prequel series! It’s gonna be a long road to get to that version of Soldier Boy. Technically this is an AU set post-season 3.

Series Tags/Warnings: **Rated M. (18+ only.) Enemies to frenemies to lovers. Angsty, messy, moral quandaries galore. This is a romance, but it’s a dark world with morally gray and dark characters, including Soldier Boy, of course. **Smut, language, misogyny, violence, and other chapter-specific tags.

🎵 Listen While You Read:

BMD YouTube Playlist || BMD Spotify Playlist

BMD Music Playlist Posters

Chapters:

Prologue

Part 1 - The Game Begins

Part 2 - You Move Me, Baby

Part 3 - Somewhere Down Below

Part 4 - On the Inside Out

Part 5 - Morning, Night & Day

Part 6 - A Hot Meal

Part 7 - Until Midnight

Part 8 - Something in the Way

Part 9 - Breach

Part 10 - Caught in the Balance

Part 11 - The Lion's Den

Part 12 - All Your Wicked Ways

Part 13 - A Generous Deal

Part 14 - Safe House

Part 15 - The Tower

Part 16 - Soldier Boy

Part 17 - More Than Words Can Say

Epilogue - All My Living Time

Series Complete!

Did you like this series? If you'd like to keep supporting me as I continue the BMD-verse, you can:

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Become a Patreon Member 🌟

Not done reading this version of Soldier Boy x Reader? Well, there's more to their story.

(**Notes 18+ only and/or smut)

One-Shots:

In the Dark You and Ben have tackled the insurmountable together, but no one said the recovery would be easy.

Checkerboard** You’re not a supe. You’re breakable. Soldier Boy sometimes forgets that.

Wanderlust** Your wandering hands are keeping Ben up at night.

Love Actually** [MINI SERIES] Ben gets in late on Christmas Eve with a Grinch-like attitude, but you’re determined to force some holiday cheer into his system. At least, you hope you can, before he meets the rest of your dysfunctional family on Christmas Day.

Series Complete!

Wake Me Up** [MINI SERIES] A few weeks after you and Ben celebrate your first Christmas together, he is returning from another mission with the Supe Affairs team. When he discovers that you’ve been taken, he’ll do whatever it takes to find you. And then, to help you heal.

Series Complete!

Strong As Blood** After you accidentally break through a solid wood table, you know there’s something wrong with you. You begin to have your suspicions, but can you keep it from Ben long enough to find out?

(In other words: This is the story of how you and Ben discover that you’re pregnant.)

Part 1 || Part 2 - Complete

Sleigh Ride Yet again, you convince Ben to indulge you in a new Christmas tradition.

Until Morning A quiet moment between you, Ben, and your newborn daughter.

This One's For You Late one night, finding no other recourse, Ben sings to his infant daughter to help her sleep.

Lesson Learned** There’s only so much teasing Ben is willing to take. He has no choice but to punish you. (Sequel to This One's For You)

Green** Ben spends the day alone with his daughter, to varying degrees of success. When you get home, it prompts a serious conversation.

Calculated Risks You and Ben argue about your commitment to being a working mom. When a rogue supe gets loose at Supe Affairs, mayhem ensues, putting not only your life at risk, but your daughter’s as well.

Imagines:

Getting jealous.** 💚 Ben needs new clothes, but the shop girls think your boyfriend is fair game.

Ben’s reaction to his girlfriend on her period.❣️ How he takes care of you.

Ben loses you. 💔 Includes a “twist” ending…

Talk to Me 💞 In the wake of his vivid nightmare, you confront Ben about his fears and get him to open up. [Sequel to “Ben loses you.”]

Headcanons

Inspiration behind the Part 17 plot twist. It has to do with my love of Smallville. (Spoilers for BMD Part 17.)

How many kids would you and Ben have? The answer is...

Ben's reaction to his daughter Lila's first crush (vs. his son's). The double standard here is ridiculous!

How Ben would react when Lila gets a boyfriend (or girlfriend). Dad!Ben is pretty much what you'd expect...

How Ben reacts when his daughter (Lila) is dating an asshole. He sees an unfortunately "kindred" spirit.

What if Lila caught Ben on a bad day? Featuring reactions from young!Lila and teen!Lila.

What (BMD) Soldier Boy/Ben Would Say to His Younger Self Ben has the opportunity to meet his counterpart from the 1980s. What advice would he offer?

Imagine Soldier Boy (Ben) "Sliding Up" to You in the Club Despite what you might think, he's got moves...

Moodboard below created by @chernayawidow:

"But you move me, baby. All my livin time..."

"A fight for love and glory, a case of do or die..."

Soldier Boy Masterlist

Main Masterlist

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kinzhae · 15 days ago

Note

Hi hiiii! Okay so... I'm not quite sure if you accept like request and all but i enjoyed your vlog so much cause been craving for Gojo angst that hurts my heart and i love it 😭😭

And i have this idea... You know Toga Himiko right? So like i have this idea in mind where Gojo neglected the reader, like the bully fic you made? And so, in the end Gojo was like dyin (In his teens where he still didn't know RCT). Reader having the same power as Toga Himiko so yeah you know what happens next.

That episode ached my heart so much that i cried and i kinda wanna see it in Gojo x reader part. You don't have to make it just sayin my idea and all 😅

Omgg hello, you are actually the first person who requested to write something so ofc I will do it. I didnt continue watching MHA after season 2 so I might not capture Toga Himiko's quirk that well </3 but I still tried and hoping you will like it.

Note: it ended with a slight angst.

Past Wound That Will Never Change

The world had always been cruel to those who were different, and you learned that lesson early. Your cursed technique was rare, one that made people uneasy. By consuming the blood of others, you could take on their appearance and, to a degree, their abilities. It was powerful, yes, but it was also isolating. People whispered behind your back, called you a parasite, and avoided you like a curse waiting to manifest.

Gojo Satoru, of course, had been the worst of them all.

He wasn’t just cruel; he was relentless. With his unmatched abilities and natural charisma, he had no reason to think twice about how his words or actions might hurt you. To him, you were a joke, a walking anomaly he could poke fun at when life at Jujutsu High grew dull.

“You ever think about how creepy you are?” he’d say, his friends laughing along. “Like, do you just look at someone and think, ‘Wow, I wanna drink their blood’? That’s disgusting, man.”

The words stung every time. You tried to fight back, to pretend his insults didn’t matter, but he had a way of cutting deeper than anyone else. The more you tried to stand your ground, the more he mocked you.

“You’re not even a real sorcerer,” he said once, his voice dripping with disdain. “You just leech off of everyone else. What’s the point of keeping you around?”

No one defended you. Geto sometimes gave you a pitying glance, but even he didn’t dare go against Gojo. They were close friends after all. You were utterly alone, and every day felt like a battle you were losing.

It all came to a head during a mission gone wrong. You’d been sent out with Gojo and another student to exorcise a particularly nasty curse. Things had been going well until Gojo, confident as ever, underestimated the enemy. The curse turned its attention on you, nearly killing you in the process. You barely managed to survive, but when the dust settled, Gojo shrugged it off like it was nothing.

“You’re fine,” he said, his tone dismissive. “Stop being so dramatic.”

That was the moment something inside you broke. That night, you packed your things and left Jujutsu High without a word. If they thought you were a parasite, then so be it. You would survive on your own terms, far away from their judgmental eyes.

---

Years passed, and you became someone entirely different. The pain of your past hardened into a cold resolve. You used your cursed technique without restraint, earning a reputation as a rogue sorcerer. People feared you, and for the first time in your life, you felt powerful. You no longer cared about proving yourself to anyone. You lived by your own rules, taking what you needed and leaving destruction in your wake.

But fate had a twisted sense of humor.

You found him in the ruins of a cursed battlefield, slumped against a crumbling wall, his once-pristine uniform soaked with blood. Gojo Satoru, the untouchable, was dying.

He looked up at you with bleary eyes, his usual confidence replaced by something fragile.

“Figures,” he muttered, his voice barely audible. “Of all people… it had to be you.”

You stared at him, your emotions a tangled mess of anger, bitterness, and something you didn’t want to name. He looked so different now—vulnerable in a way you’d never imagined. For a brief moment, you considered leaving him there. It would be poetic, wouldn’t it? Letting him die alone, just like he’d left you to fend for yourself all those years ago.

But you couldn’t do it.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” you said coldly, kneeling beside him. “I’m not doing this for you.

He didn’t respond, too weak to argue. His blood pooled around him, staining the ground a deep crimson. You bit into your hand, drawing your own blood, and then leaned down to press your lips to his wound. The metallic taste filled your mouth as your cursed technique activated, his power flooding into you.

It was overwhelming. For a brief moment, you were the strongest, the infinite possibilities of his Limitless technique unfurling in your mind. You used it to heal his wounds, channeling his power with a precision that surprised even you. When it was done, you pulled away, wiping your mouth as you staggered to your feet.

Gojo sat up slowly, testing his limbs. He looked at you, his expression unreadable.

“You saved me,” he said quietly.

“Don’t read into it,” you snapped. “If I wanted you dead, I wouldn’t have bothered.”

He frowned, guilt flickering across his face. “Why? After everything I—”

“Don’t,” you interrupted, your voice sharp. “You don’t get to apologize. Not after what you did.”

He fell silent, his usual arrogance nowhere to be found. For once, he looked small, almost fragile.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “I was a fool back then. I didn’t—”

“Stop,” you said, your tone icy. “I don’t want your apology. I don’t need it. Just live with it, Gojo. Live with what you did.”

You turned and walked away, leaving him sitting there, his words hanging in the air. He didn’t try to stop you. He didn’t call after you. He simply watched as you disappeared into the distance, the weight of his guilt settling over him like a shroud.

---

Gojo recovered, but the encounter haunted him. He searched for you, hoping for a chance to make amends, but you were always one step ahead, always out of reach. The guilt of what he had done to you lingered, a constant reminder of his failures. For the first time in his life, he couldn’t fix what he had broken.

You, on the other hand, continued to live on your own terms. Saving him hadn’t changed anything. It hadn’t softened the bitterness in your heart or erased the scars he left behind. You didn’t forgive him, and you didn’t need to.

In the end, the past was a wound neither of you could heal. He was left to carry the weight of his guilt, while you carried the scars of his cruelty.

#jjk x reader #jjk satoru #jujutsu kaisen #jjk angst #satoru gojo x reader #jjk #jjk gojo #angst

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sir-phineas-lost · 5 months ago

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TDP Season 6

Well, I think I might be fully on-board with this show again.

Well, maybe not fully, but certainly more than I have been since season 2. The ever-present problem is the refusal to actually deal with the generational trauma and prejudice aspects of the story in a way that isn't wholly one-sided or shallow. Along with the usual amount of protagonist-centered morality.

Spoilers under the cut.

But! It has some of the best characterization of Claudia and Viren in the show so far. I especially love how they utterly subverted the preview scene that made me a little worried. I really wish there was more of Claudia here because I feel like we needed more scenes of her trying this new path before settling on her final decision for it to really land, but it still works.

Sidenote: The Rayllum-hater in me really likes "The Frozen Ship" but for all the reasons I doubt were intended. An episode that shows just how much this ship is built on fandom-expectations that the main boy and main girl are going to get together. Really obnoxious meta-jokes about how popular the ship is? Check! Reading a completely different love-story to spell out how the characters are feeling? Check! Literal stand-ins for the fandom moving them around like dolls going "Now kiss!"?? Check check check! And all the while it is juxtaposed with scenes of Claudia and Terry that are nuanced, somber, haunting and really intimate yet tasteful, all without a single word of dialogue? And you want me to care about that other garbage?!

And Soren in the final 3 episodes is at his absolute best. His anger and grief are all equally justified and he is more mature and grown-up than ever. And we got some really nice vindication for that mess of a season-3 finale. Not that I expect it to lead anywhere regarding Ezran reevaluating his decision. As awesome as it would be for him to get home to a ruined Katolis and be greeted by his people who now look exactly like the soldiers he triumphantly fought off before and get hit with the realization "huh, maybe that wasn't such a black and white conflict after all".

The final episode is all about Aaravos and it hits just about every note it needed to, without giving away every detail. But it certainly does the trick in explaining his motivation. And the reveal of what a Startouch elf actually looks like is so well done that it hits you like a truck to realize "Oh, they already gave that away long ago and we just didn't notice".

Only problem is that it is going to be even harder for me to not root against the main cast now that I know they will be working against the person who is trying to overthrow the entire unfair order of the world, which is the part of the story I am invested in.

Still. I am looking forward to seeing how this ends and while I doubt it will ever live up to the better version of this that lives in my head, or in some excellent fanfics, I hope it will be good.

#the dragon prince #tdp #meta #tdp critical #tdp spoilers #tdp book 6 #tdp season 6 #tdp s6 #anti-rayllum

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callingbridgerton · 8 months ago

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"Colin didn't earn Penelope."

Ummmmm.

Okay. So, let's just start by saying that Colin Bridgerton did nothing wrong by simply not feeling the same way about Penelope for so long. I am so serious. Even if he never returned her feelings, he wouldn't have done something wrong. But that's not the story we're watching. They're meant for each other, but he didn't know that. That is not wrong of him.

He has done only one thing wrong, ever (to Penelope): give into his insecurities, alter his true self, and give way to a fake version of himself that wants to be accepted by the wrong people and make a hurtful comment to "the boys" about her.

Which he apologized for the moment he knew she knew. It is sad, indeed, that he didn't realize on his own how hurtful that was but even if he had, given that he didn't know she knew, what purpose would there be in him going "uh, I made a really mean comment about you recently and I feel bad about it." Like what? That'd be harder to come back from than how it actually played out.

Now, I don't even want to talk about this because it annoys me how annoyed people are and I have seen it calming down but I think this is worth saying. Some people, I know, are really frustrated with Colin visiting brothels and having "experiences" on his travels. Especially those that have read the books (I haven't.) I know that people were attached to Virgin!Colin, but since I never even thought about that I just didn't care. Show Colin has not offended me, it is not my favorite thing in the world but I think people's primary problem with it is that they wanted Colin and Pen to be on the same exact page when they got together (virgins.) That's very cute and sweet as an idea but show Colin lives in a time period that does not at all expect that of him and in fact expects the opposite. In his quest to take on a new persona he attempts meaningless sex as well but we are shown over and over again that he's just not that into it. He's so confused, he knows it's "supposed" to work for him (as it does/did for his brothers and friends) but it just doesn't.

I also think a lot of people have a problem with it simply because they consider him promised to Penelope when he is not. He just isn't (even though he is.) But he didn't know that!!! He had literally no idea. He didn't cheat on her, he didn't break a promise, he didn't do anything wrong. He was just trying to figure himself out.

In reality, Colin has done nothing but be exceedingly kind to Penelope. A true friend. He has shown nothing but reverence for her all throughout season 1 and 2. And 3. He earned her through being her friend, the only one who truly listens to her and notices her bright mind and kind heart and warm soul. He is literally the only one. Eloise, maybe, but tbh she doesn't truly realize how amazing Pen is (IMO).

Colin didn't need to do anything else. He apologized for his mistakes and showed through actions how much he meant it.

He has earned her since the day they met.

#colin bridgerton #bridgerton #polin #penelope featherington #colin x penelope

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eclairfromleclerc · 11 months ago

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Hello people! It’s been a while since my last chapter but the writer’s block was humongous and I kept pushing myself to write the next chapter. It is another long one, almost 25K words. Please excuse me for my long ass absence and stay with me for the rest of the story! I hope you’ll enjoy the newest part and I can’t wait to see your opinion and comments on it. Take care. Until the next one <3 xx

All’s Fair

(Toto Wolff x Reader!Horner) Chapter 9

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4 chapter 5 chapter 6 chapter 7 chapter 8

Monaco has the best sunny days in the whole world. You’ve loved going out under the Mediterranean sun every time your family visited Monaco when you were young. Now laying on the couch that you’ve spent almost all of your summers on, you see the light entering the apartment. Music plays in the background as your friend Sara is making coffee in the kitchen and you are laying in her living room as you’ve always done.

After the victory celebrations on Sunday you left the track and flew straight back to Nice. Your childhood friend Sara picked you up and you’ve been staying in her family’s house in Monaco for the past 2 days. Those days passed by with your usual activities. Having coffee in the casino square, going out clubbing, cooking, gossiping and in general doing girly things. As soon as you arrived in Monaco you visited the apartment that Sara proposed and booked it right away as you had already asked for your belongings to be moved to Monte Carlo. The only thing left for you to do is to move all of those things to the apartment. The thing about being in Monaco is that now you are able to show the world where you are. During the past weekend there was just speculation about where you actually were. You had managed to place yourself in Monaco with some instagram posts but no one knew (well except for Toto and Lewis) that you still were in Jeddah.

“Sweetheart coffee is ready.” Sara yells from the kitchen

“Bitch I don’t drink coffee” you answer “You haven’t seen me in a month and you already forgot?”

“Shut up, I made you your Earl Grey just how you like to drink it” she says and you’ve already made your way to the kitchen

“Thank you idiot” you tell her

“You’re welcome, your majesty,” she says, mocking you for your tea preferences. You sit down opposite to her and start drinking your tea. “So” she interrupts the silence “Do you remember Marc?” she asks

“Marc who?” you ask

“Marc Taylor.”

“S, are you serious? Are you asking me if I remember the guy I had a crush on for ages?” you ask her

“Well you’ve met a lot of people since you started working in F1 and I genuinely thought you forgot him” she says “Anyways, he saw the story I reposted from yesterday night at Jimmy’z and replied to it. He asked me if we wanted to join him today.”

“Join him where?” you ask intrigued

“He will be having a brunch party at his yacht.” she says trying to hype it up

“Ugh, I’m not sure I want to see so many people.” you say

“Come on Horner, it’s going to be so great. We haven’t had a brunch party at a yacht in ages, the last time we did was when you graduated.” she pauses “Plus he told me not to hype it up, the only people there will be his friend group.”

“Marc’s friend group is 15 people. I am only willing to see 5.”

“Why are you acting like a 65 year old with depression, come onnn.”

“Because my job drains me to the point that I just want to stay at home with a cup of tea and read a good book. I am with people every day and during the weekend I am chased by cameras and fans.” you tell her as she looks at you mockingly “I know, I know. I chose this life and to be frank I love the whole fame,chase and clout that comes with it. But during my non-race weekends, I need to have a detox.”

“You had your whole week off, enough paddock detox, enough people detox. What were you doing in Jeddah? Meditating, visiting the four seasons’ spa, drinking coffee, eating expensive meals. That’s enough, now we get to party.”

Little does she know that you weren’t actually meditating, not visiting spas, not even staying at a four seasons’ but at a Ritz. You take a look at your best friend as she puts on her puppy eyes.

“Pretty please.” she says and she crosses her hands as if she’s begging “Do it for me Horner, it’s going to be fun. It’s part of your new life after all. People here in Monaco have brunch yacht parties really often, so you better get your ass ready. We are going.” she says.

You shrug in response, but actually get up from the chair and go to the guest room where all of your belongings currently are. You open your suitcase and take out the sundress you wore the day you and Toto went for coffee together and match it with a pair of Hermes sandals. The weather is now sunny in Monaco and you actually love how it is a great mix of sun, breeze and heat. You put on some makeup and style your hair as loosely as you can, you’re going to be in the sea after all. Later both you and Sara leave the house and go to the location that Marc dropped a pin on. You can hear people talking from the other side of the yacht, the one that faces the Mediterranean. You quickly jump on the platform on the back of the yacht and walk up to the place where everyone’s sitting.

“Hello everyone.” you say and you see Marc standing up approaching you. Sara is just behind and she waves everyone but doesn’t get any closer to you. Marc comes to your side and hugs you.

“Miss Horner.” he says in awe “It’s been a long long time hasn’t it?” he asks

“It has. Thank you for the invitation.” you say “We brought a little something.” you say and you hand him the bottle of Dom that you’ve been holding.

“It’s really no big deal, I wanted to see you and Sara so I just texted. Thanks for the Champagne.”

By the time both of you stop interacting, Sara is already sitting on the table and speaking to everyone. You take a seat, far from her in the only two empty chairs and Marc emerges shortly after to take the seat next to you. Without asking he starts filling your plate.

“You should definitely try the Croque Madame, it’s a miracle.” he says and you smile at him

“I will, thanks.” you reply as you register his existence next to you. He’s the most charming guy you’ve met, well less than Toto but to be frank, you can see why you were heads over heels with him. At that moment you decide to snap a photo and text Toto.

You

[Photo]

Much earned gift for my last week’s performance

Wolff

You better recharge, I want you on your A level in Baku.

[Photo]

The weather here is freaking awful, I miss Monaco.

You

Wait, you actually know how to send pictures? Monaco is amazing today. You should have been here.

Wolff

Replying: Remember who gives you access to the paddock.

If I were there you wouldn’t be in that yacht right now.

You

Toto behave, you’re at work.

Wolff

I’m at a business meeting and I hate those so why not distract myself with some other thought.

You

Because I’m so hot you’re going to embarrass yourself. Gotta go now, I've got a whole yacht waiting for me

Wolff

I don't blame them. Have fun, just not too much ;)

You laugh at Toto’s texts as Marc watches you at the same time

"Are you bored of us" he asks

"No, I just have to text someone" you reply

"Red Bull keeps getting you busy I see?" he asks

"Actually, I am not in Red Bull for the time being, I am just enjoying myself and I am actually moving here next week"

"Great decision to be honest. Monaco could use a distraction." He says

"So I've been told" you tell him

"By whom?" he asks and you realize you cannot possibly talk about Toto with him

"Just a good friend" you laugh

“ah one of those best friends, I get it" he says and you nod not showing any emotion at all over what it meant

“Are you enjoying yourself in F1?” he asks trying to start conversation with you

“I am. It is a space I’ve grown up in and I already knew everyone as well as everyone knew me. There’s nothing different as to what I’ve lived up to now except for the fact that I have a little bit more screen time than I used to have 5 years ago.”

“Well 5 years ago I used to see you almost every week and now I have to watch F1 to see you.” he says

“You watch F1 now?”

“I always watched F1.” he says

“I’m pretty sure you’ve only watched the Monaco Grand Prix.”

“Until this year.” he replies “Plus I have a really good reason.”

“What’s the reason? Max’s racecraft?”

“Nah, you are” he says and you freeze temporarily

“I’m flattered.”

“I meant it as a compliment so you should be.” he tells you and he looks at you with a flirty look and you turn to look at Sara who is already too invested in her conversation with Marc’s friend, Tristan.

The rest of the brunch party goes on in a pretty similar way. Marc keeps flirting with you and Sara is way too busy to come to your rescue. At some point the yacht leaves Monaco and sails in the Mediterranean for two or three hours while all of you party on the deck. Now the sun is setting down the horizon and you return back to the harbor of Monaco and the party has already winded down so you find yourself sitting on a chair sipping your last glass of champagne. Sara is nowhere to be seen, probably too busy making out with Tristan on the inside of Marc’s yacht since they’ve been missing for the last 45 minutes or so. The chair opposite to you is empty but not for long. As soon as Marc spots you he leaves his friends and comes to your company.

“Did you enjoy the party?” he asks

“It’s been a while since I partied like this but I loved it. Now relaxing with a glass of champagne is the must thing to do.”

“There’s plenty of space inside if you want to lay down for a while.” he tells you

“I think the space might be occupied by our friends and as close as I am with Sara today isn’t the day that I want to listen to her having sex with your best friend.” you laugh

“The yacht has 6 cabins. I very much doubt all 6 of them are taken.”

“6 cabins huh? The Taylors really have given it some thought before spending money on this yacht.”

“Yeah, my mom insisted. But hey, that’s why we’re working our asses off every day. To spend on things like this.”

“So you are working?” you ask him

“Yeah, I’ve taken over some of my dad’s companies and I’ve been living between Monaco and Switzerland for a while.”

“And how is it?”

“You know how it is. We’ve learnt to live in this world. I love the job but really that’s all I focus on. Thank god all these fuckers are around and remind me that I need to have a work life balance.”

“Oh my god. Marc Taylor is a workaholic?” you say surprised “You need people to remind you to live for a while instead of working?”

“My mom is so afraid that I won’t even have a wife that she’s trying to get me to meet eligible bachelorettes.”

“Lisa is actually doing this?” you ask shocked

“Lisa has been asking me to ask you on a date for months” he tells you and you laugh hysterically.

“Well tell Lisa that I am twice the workaholic that you are. I am not working and living, I am living my life at work. I am constantly working.”

“How does it feel?”

“It does get a little lonely at times. But as you’ve said I’ve learnt to live like this ever since I was a baby. Sometimes I just wish I had someone to support me.” you tell him and what he does next surprises you.

He leans closer and puts a hand on your cheek and kisses you. You don’t react. Partly because you were caught completely off guard and partly because your 19 year old self would die for this kiss but the only thing in your head that played over and over again is “You can’t do this to Toto” . He pulls away from the kiss and you smile but he’s looking for something more and you know it.

“Marc, look I am so flattered that you actually like me. My 19 year old self would be dead right now. But as much as I used to like you then, I cannot do it now.”

“You’re not into it huh?” he asks partly heartbroken partly surprised

“It’s not that. It’s that there’s someone else in my life right now and the things with me and him aren’t that simple so I wouldn’t want to further complicate it.”

“I understand.” he says “Although Lisa would be thrilled to have you as her daughter in law, I have to destroy her dreams.” he laughs

“I am so sad. Tell her I love her regardless and if I end up alone you’ll be the first one I will flirt with.”

“Bold way to tell me I am the second option.”

“Oh god no that’s not how I meant it. It’s just that you never know how life will play out. We might end up married managing the Taylor Group and Red Bull Racing, but we might just end up as two workaholic friends who push each other out of their working space.”

“That’s true.” he says

For the next 10 minutes you discuss and when the yacht finally arrives at the harbor you leave the yacht before thanking everyone. You and Sara walk back home and she keeps talking about her and Tristan during the whole way to her house. You keep quiet about the whole thing with Marc and let her vent about what happened for the rest of the day. Late at night just when you’re ready to go to sleep, her in her bed and you on an inflatable mattress Sara is still talking about Tristan.

“He actually texted me like 5 minutes ago, I can’t believe it.” she says “We are plann-”

“Marc kissed me.” you say interrupting her mid sentence

“WHAT?” she screams and jumps on her bed

“Yeah, you were too busy screwing Tristan on those cabins but when we arrived at the harbor, he sat down next to me and kissed me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” she asks completely shocked

“Because you were venting about Tristan and I knew you would react this way.” you answer

“Well why aren’t you reacting in this way? You’ve had a crush on him since forever.” she asks

“Had. Past tense.”

“Well, do you have someone better than Marc to hook up with? His father is a freaking billionaire and he’s about to inherit all this. He’s handsome and kind and he’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of.”

“Yeah, now he’s not the one I am dreaming of. Plus, believe it or not, it’s not always about the money.”

“Are you out of your mind? Who is possibly a better option than Marc for you right now? Well, to be frank Charles Leclerc is. You’re not sleeping with Charles Leclerc are you?” she asks and you laugh

“If you actually knew who the guy who is the better option you’d definitely think I’m out of my mind. And no, I am not sleeping with Charles Leclerc, sadly.” you tell her

“If you don’t spill, I will kick you out.”

“I most definitely cannot tell you.”

“Come on, we’ve known each other since we were in the womb, your family is my family, what tells you that I could possibly say anything to anyone?”

“Okay, I will tell you, just because you actually are my best friend. But don’t you dare say anything to anyone or I will be destroyed. Oh, tell me your wildest prediction.”

“Just so that I have a clear target group, he is from F1 right?” she asks and you nod “Omg, is it Max? Because if it is Max it will be the most iconic friends to lovers boo-” she starts ranting and you interrupt to shock her once again

“It’s Toto Wolff”

“WHO?” she looks at you like you are a lunatic.

“It’s freaking Toto Wolff, Team Principal of Mercedes AMG Petronas F1” you tell her and she looks absolutely shocked

“You are definitely out of your freaking mind. Since when are you into older guys and how the hell did that happen?”

“I always thought he was attractive but was blindsided by Christian’s hate for him. But long story short, I got drunk once and we hooked up and it’s only been going downhill from there. I’ll have to explain it to you when I get to my new apartment.”

“I am absolutely shocked.” she says “Is he at least treating you right?” she asks

“We are just hanging out but he’s been decent I’d say.”

“Now that I am thinking about it, he kind of is the better option.” she says and she visibly loses herself in thought

“Just so you know, the only people who know about all this are you and Lewis.”

“I have a common secret with Lewis Hamilton?” she asks, showing her clear preference for him.

Your answer is to just laugh and then say goodnight to her.

The next day you are being woken up by the light entering the room from the window that you forgot to close. It’s the day that you will finally move to your new apartment in Monaco. You grab your phone first thing and you see millions of notifications, more than usual. Your first thought? Something bad happened. And indeed something had happened, not exactly bad, but the headlines from the news, tweets and tags are somewhere in between the tone of

“Red Bull Racing’s newest management addition shows her love with a billionaire’s son in Monaco.”

The first article wrote: Miss Horner and Mr. Marc Taylor were spotted getting cozy at the latter’s yacht party in Monaco harbor yesterday. The pair shared a kiss and they seemed to exchange some fond words. We are excited about this new romance blooming in the streets and seas of Monaco. Are we going to see the Taylor Group entering F1 alongside Miss Horner’s Red Bull Racing? It’s only a matter of time to see.

“Shit, shit, shit” you keep saying and Sara who has only woken up looks at you like you’re crazy

“What?” she asks

“It’s all over the freaking internet.”

“You and Wolff?” she asks nervously

“No, god, it’s me and Marc”

“Wait, how did that happen?”

“Someone must have snapped a picture of us while we were kissing when the yacht was in the harbor. God this is a disaster.”

“Why is it a disaster?” she asks. Well sometimes you really doubt about her having a brain

“If Toto sees this he’s going to be feral.” you say “Oh god, I should text him right now to let him know that the whole thing is a lie.” You open the iMessage app

Wolff

[Photo]

Flying to Nice from the UK, I’ll be in Monaco for the rest of the week.

You check the time that this was sent. Yesterday afternoon. You were probably at the party then and you accidentally deleted the notification so you didn’t see the message afterwards but now you decide to reply.

You

I hope that you have arrived in Monaco safely. I am sure I will see you somewhere here before we get the chance to meet all alone. Sorry I didn’t reply earlier but I must have accidentally deleted the notification while I was at that yacht party yesterday. Speaking of which, I need to talk to you about the whole thing going around on the internet.

You see that your messages are being instantly read but you get no reply.

“The moving truck will be arriving at the apartment in 20 minutes, we must get going. Come on, get ready.” Sara says

“S, Toto is leaving me on read, do you think he’s mad at me?”

“No, he’s probably too busy in those company meetings back at Brackley.” she tries to reassure you

“Toto flew to Monaco yesterday afternoon, he’s not at Brackley.” you tell her

“Well, he’s still working from Monaco so he might reply to you later. Girl, we really don’t have time for this. It’s moving dayyy.” she says trying to hype you up. “Up, up, up” she says trying to grab you “The moving guys will be at the apartment and you will be lying here all day? Let’s get ready to move in. You’ll worry about Wolff later. And at the end you told me that you’re just hanging out, it's not anything serious so you’re free to do whatever you want. And if he’s sure that you want him he won’t even believe those things.”

You stand up before replying and put on a pair of sweats and a Red Bull t-shirt to be comfortable while moving in. “I know that we’re just hanging out at the moment. It’s just that the things are confusing as it is now, I don’t want Marc Taylor confusing them more than that.”

“He won’t. But you’ll have to worry about it from your new bedroom so, shoes on, grab your bag and let’s go to the apartment.

You do as she says and 20 minutes later you are outside your newest home getting the keys from the owner while the guys are removing boxes and furniture from the truck.

“Well, you are here.” Sara says. “I have to confess it looks really pretty and modern.”

“Sara, it’s just the outside of the building.”

“But still it’s pretty. The actual apartment is prettier though” she says and she instructs all of the boxes with your belongings and furniture to be moved to the 6th floor. For the first time in your life you will be living at the top of a building. You and Sara take the elevator to the apartment. You unlock the door while the guys are waiting for you and you enter using your right foot first.

“It’s for good luck.” you say to Sara and she smiles doing the same

For the next 5 hours you and Sara assemble your furniture and unpack the boxes with all of your stuff. You show her your ideas on how to put everything into place as you’ve imagined it and as you’ve seen it on your pinterest moodboards. At some point both of you try to settle the bed in your master bedroom. A new queen sized bed that you bought after seeing how big the room is. The one side of the loft is covered in full length glass windows that have a great view to the mediterranean with a huge balcony just in front of them that you will probably enjoy your morning tea in, during the non race weeks. The light enters every room, giving them a great coziness and openness. While you two are trying to move the bed just in the right place you remember that now you happen to have neighbors.

“Shit S, are we making too much noise?” you ask

“Well, if you know another way that we can move this monster bed and not make a sound, let me know.”

“What if the neighbors are annoyed?”

“They can fuck themselves, it’s not even quiet hours yet.” she says and you help her do the job.

After the bed gets in the right place you lay there for a second

“Horner, come on, what are you doing?”

“I am too overwhelmed by this, we’ve been working for 5 hours nonstop and this thing isn’t anywhere close to a living apartment.” you tell her

“Oh and wait till I leave you to go to the gym.” she says

“Come on Sara, you are working out here can’t you just skip the gym today and help me a little with those boxes?”

“I’ve been doing it for the past 5 hours if that says something to you. I will be leaving in half an hour though. And don’t worry. You can take it one step at a time and after some time you will manage to unpack your whole stuff.” she says smiling

“I hate you.” you tell her and you go back to work.

You set your new office in the living room, just in front of the large window so that you get enough light and inspiration from the views outside. You also set the couch and the coffee table in front, as well as your new TV. Half an hour later Sara leaves indeed for the gym, leaving you all alone for the first time in your newest apartment. That’s when it hits you and you grab your phone. The messages you sent to Toto, still unanswered and it’s been a long time since he’s read them. You decide to give him a call. You press his phone number and wait for him to pick up. You hear one, then two, then three rings and then it goes straight to voicemail. You hear his voice that you haven’t heard since Sunday. The phone rang but it went to voicemail which means that he’s declining your call. You try once again, the same thing. You get it, he’s probably angry with the whole thing but if he doesn’t want to talk to you nor do you. Instead of overthinking it you throw yourself back at moving. You blast some Taylor Swift on the speakers that you connected first thing as you entered the loft, and drop a huge box of books in front of you which you put on the built-in shelves in the living room. You use your ladder to fill the upper shelves that you cannot reach by yourself. You keep dancing, moving things, chairs, couches and tables. At some point you hear the door knocking. You turn the music off and run to the door.

“Who is it?” you ask and you hear a voice from the outside of the door

“I live downstairs and I wanted to let you know that it’s quiet time now, you are annoying us with all that music and moving things.” the voice says. You feel very embarrassed about what you did and the last thing you want is to piss your neighbor off so you decide to open the door and apologize. But when you do you freeze.

“Toto?” you say and he looks at you, his eyes wide as if he just saw something unbelievable

“What are you doing here ?” he asks

“This is my new apartment in Monaco, I was just moving in.”

“You’re joking.” he says

“Do you actually live downstairs?” you ask thrilled

“I do yeah, I live on the fifth floor loft.” he says

“How was England?” you ask and he looks at you.

“Fine.” he replies, obviously bothered.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you, I texted you this morning but you didn’t reply.” you say “I also tried calling but it went to voicemail.”

“Talk to me about what?” he asks acting like he doesn’t know

“About Marc Taylor. Toto, I know you’ve seen it, it’s all over the internet.”

“I mean what would you possibly have to say about Marc Taylor? It’s a shared secret that you’ve been wanting him since high school, everyone in Monaco knows it. You must be over the moon though. Handsome, rich, young and charming. Everything you’re looking for.”

“You have to believe me Toto.”

“Believe you about what? You clearly wanted the guy since forever so why not give in?”

“You fucking know that the whole thing is fake.”

“There are pictures,” he says, keeping calm.

“You know how it fucking is Toto, those reporters only take whatever they think will make people engage more with their stories. They only caught the kiss but after that I told him that there is someone else in my life.”

“I wouldn’t know. I am not the one going around boat parties in Monaco and kissing strangers.”

“Just admit you are jealous.” you say

“Now you know what? I find it really pretentious that you get to be angry with the whole Cynthia thing and I am suddenly overreacting to seeing you kiss other guys.”

“It is not the same.”

“No, it is exactly the same and your position is way worse than mine because me and Cynthia haven’t seen each other since this thing started.” he says

“Well, it’s not like this “thing” is something exclusive so I can see and kiss whomever I want.” you say

Toto turns and looks at you and this is the first time you see a kind of hurt in his eyes

“Do you ever shut up Horner?” he asks

“I’ve told you before, only if I am made.” you say and look at him

Hearing these words probably makes a bell in Toto’s head ring because the next thing he does is to grab you by both hands and pin you against the wall like he did the first time he kissed you. He looks down at you as you look up at him and he leans in to kiss you but you push him just a little and grab his hand. You put it against your neck and once he gets the memo he applies a little pressure that makes you go crazy. He kisses you slowly and you kiss him back in enjoyment. A few seconds later he grabs you and runs into the hallway searching for your bedroom. Once he finds the bedroom with the queen size bed he rushes and pushes you to the bed. You lie on your back looking at him. The power that this man holds, you think. You slowly begin to undress him, freeing him of his gray sweatpants and leaving him only with his boxers on seeing him growing hard as he looks at you.

“Is the bed new?” he asks and you nod

“What a way to use it for the first time huh?” you say and he laughs

“Let me tell you something Horner, I don’t want you anywhere near me with a red bull shirt ever again” he says and he strips you off of the red bull shirt “It’s the biggest turn off.”

“I can see it” you tease him. At first he seems pissed off but then he takes your sweats off and then he does the same with his T-Shirt.

“Enough talking” he says and he leans in for a kiss which you deepen immediately. He leans in on you and you push him towards you from his neck as he stabilizes himself by putting one of his knees between your thighs. You feel the intrusive thought in your brain and you grind yourself on his knee

“Much needy I see ?" he asks and you do nothing but look at him

“Can’t resist mister Wolff” you say

“As you should miss Horner.” he replies and his hand moves to your chest while he starts kissing you on your neck. You feel him leaving hot trails of kisses on you as his hand cups your breast. Well he certainly has a way of doing things. His kisses leave you wanting more, needing more so to make yourself feel good you move your hips against him once again and you can feel him laugh against your skin as he moves his hand against your panties

“So wet already” he whispers to your ear sending shivers down your spine “Does he also do that to you?” he asks clearly, talking about Marc. You shake your head as the words were kind of hard to come off your mouth

“Use your words baby” he says

“No, he does not” you say while your breathing is getting heavier

“Is he better?” he asks and you shake your head once again.

“Toto please, I need you.” you say and he obeys to your plea.

He removes his briefs and pushes your panties to the side as he enters inside you. It feels good. Better than it had in Jeddah. You gasp at the move and you dig your nails on his back as he kisses you. He suddenly grabs your hands and removes them from his back while thrusting in and out in a slow but great way.

“No touching today.” he says and holds your hands over your head with his strong grip. He keeps moving as you let small moans escape and you feel like you’re in another word. You want to touch him as well and right the time that he loosens his grip on you you try to move your hands but his grip gets stronger and smashes your hands back to the place they first were. You complain for a while but he makes you feel so good that this is the last thing you care about.

“You’re so good love. Always feeling so good.” the pauses between his words are getting bigger, showing that he’s feeling as good as he does. “Good god.” he says once again and you laugh at him. He keeps going strong though, changing the tempo of his thrusts, hitting and touching all the correct places. You feel getting closer and closer to your climax but instead of laying calm you start leaving kisses on his chest.

“You make me feel so good.” you say “Fuck Toto, you’re so good. God no you’re perfect.”

“Are you close?” he asks

“Yeah” you say and you gasp “You?”

“Very” he says in between his grunts. Some minutes later you come first and he follows you shortly after while repeating your name.

Right after that both of you lay naked on your new bed. Toto is caressing your hair as you are laying on his chest listening to his heartbeat. He breaks the silence first

“Are we good?” he asks

“I am good” you reply

“I am talking about our fight.” he says

“Oh I thought that it was established when you were repeating my name while having sex with me.”

“You’re right.” he says and stares outside the window while the sun is setting. Both of you sit in silence for a minute or two until you break it

“He’s not better.” you say

“Huh?”

“Marc Taylor. He’s not better than you. It was nothing but a kiss, Toto.” you tell him “And yes, he might be a European billionaire’s son and he might as well be hot and charming but you are also all those things, which surprise, happen to be everything I seem to look for in a man. But I need you to know Toto, in my eyes you are more charming and hotter than him. I would give Marc Taylor up for you but I wouldn’t give up you for Marc Taylor.” you tell him and you look up at him while he’s staring at you, clearly paying attention to what you were telling him.

“Thank you.” he says

You keep laying there and by the time the sun sets you are already asleep. You wake up an hour later and you see Toto is also taking a nap. You nudge him and he wakes up.

“What is it ?” he says being somewhere between asleep and awake

“Nothing, we just fell asleep here.” you say

“You’ve got a nice bed. Good choice.” he says

“I know but I have to get up to finish the rest of the apartment.”

“No one is helping you?” he asks

“Sara was here until she abandoned me to go to her gym session. Now I have to do this all by myself.”

“You know you don’t have to do all of it today right? You are going to be exhausted. Plus I can also help you with unpacking.”

“No, you probably have work to do. I’ll do them by myself and tomorrow Sara will be here to help me”

“Who is Sara?”

“My best friend. She’s the one that found this apartment for me” you tell him

“So she’s the one that I have to thank?” he asks and you nod while laughing.

“You will meet her as soon as I get back to Red Bull.”

“Which is going to be when?” he asks

“I know you want to get rid of me but I don’t have any information yet. Beth usually sends me my schedule the week before each grand prix and judging by the fact that she didn’t send it until now, I think this won’t be the weekend you are looking forward to.”

“Maybe you should start packing your things for Baku.” he says

“I don’t have anything to do there.”

“Come on, I told people Mindy Rosevelt will hang with us for a while longer.”

“Second race at Mercedes?” you ask excitedly

“The Ritz in Baku has already been informed that we would like an extra suite.”

“Toto, a suite? Again?”

“You always need a suite, love.”

“Do you have plans for Baku?” you ask

“How about we go to the paddock together, you sleep in my suite and you help us during the race?”

“So you only want me to be there to tell you about Red Bull’s strategies so you can win?” you say playing offended

“I only want you to be there because you make it easier for me to focus when you are next to me rather than in the garage next to ours. And because I want you in general.” he says

“That’s a good excuse.” you tell him

“After all, even if it was only for the strategy part, you should remember that all’s fair in war.”

“And love.” you say

“That also” he replies

“When are we leaving?”

“Wednesday night, with my jet from Nice airport.”

“Good.” you say

“Put some clothes on, we are going to unpack the rest of the boxes.” he says

“Yes sir.” you say

“Sir huh? Remind me of that the next time I am laying in bed with you” he tells you and you laugh as you stand up to put some clothes on. For the rest of the evening you and Toto unpack the boxes that you and Sara left. Both of you laugh as he makes fun of your music taste. He even dared to make fun of Taylor Swift, which you did not take lightly but still forgave him when he danced with you in the living room of your new apartment and when you both watched the harbor from the balcony. It is almost midnight when he decides he has to go.

“Why do you have to go now?” you ask

“The apartment is almost ready, Sara can help you set up the last box and I have to work tomorrow, unlike you.”

“You are literally working from home and your home is downstairs, why can’t you stay for the night and leave tomorrow night?” you complain

“Because this is your apartment, your space. You have to spend the night alone to get used to the feeling.”

“I’ve lived alone before, I know how it is.”

“Yes but now it’s different, you'll see.”

“Can’t it be different with you here?”

“It can, but I am positive you will be better off alone for this night.” he says “We won’t be lost after all, I will be downstairs, you can call me any time.”

“Okay” you tell him “Can I kiss you goodnight?” you ask

“What happened to you? You are too expressive!” he says

“I know, you are not used to it.”

“No, I am used to you being expressive, just not very emotional.”

“Changed state of mind” you say

“I like it.” he says “And to answer your question” he leans in and kisses you deeply “I was going to do it anyways.”

You smile at the gesture “Goodnight Toto.” you say

“Goodnight love.” he replies and he leaves.

You close the door and walk straight to bed where you immediately fall asleep.

The next day you text Sara and she drops by for a morning coffee in your new balcony. As soon as she enters the loft she looks around.

“Wow Horner, did you get any sleep?” she asks

“I actually did.”

“How did you unpack all of those boxes by yourself?”

“I didn’t do it by myself” you tell her

“Omg, who did you invite?”

“No one, a neighbor helped me.”

“Oh, you’ve already met your neighbors? That’s crazy. Are any of them hot?”

“Yeah I met one of them because he wanted to complain about the noise. And yeah, he was hot. In fact for me he is one of the hottest.”

“What happened to Miss Toto Wolff is the hottest man on earth? Did she disappear?”

“No she didn’t, because actually Toto Wolff IS the freaking neighbor.”

“What the hell?” she asks “Girl I need coffee and Monte Carlo air STAT.”

You make her coffee and your tea and go to the balcony where you sit on a big white table.

“Turns out Wolff is my freaking neighbor. He’s living downstairs and he heard the noise during quiet hours so he decided to give me a notice.”

“But when he saw you he forgot what he noticed” she says

“No actually he did make the notice and then we pretty much fought for Marc, ended up having sex, had a nap and then unpacked all of my boxes. We danced together in the living room and then he left because he had to work today.”

“You used the bed for the first time to have make up sex with Wolff?” she asks

“I pretty much did yeah” you tell her

“You are crazier than I thought you were.” she says

“I am crazier than I thought I were” you say

You tell her everything that happened yesterday night as both of you drink your beverages watching the view from your balcony. Later on Sara helps you unpack the last box and your apartment is finally set. The next few days you pass your time by hanging out with Sara and your other best friends who happen to be in Monaco. Toto drops by some days and you two hang out for some hours until one day you finally ask him for a Mercedes project to work on so you can spend your time by being more productive. Days pass and it’s finally Wednesday morning when you are actually packing your clothes for Baku. You take mostly summer clothes even though you won’t be able to wear any of the to the paddock. You also take your extra Mercedes shirts and pants as well as Toto’s Mercedes shirt. You make sure everything is there. After that you call Sara to drop by so that you can say goodbye to her and spend the rest of the day alone at the apartment until Toto knocks the door to let you know that your driver has arrived and is ready to take you to Nice to finally fly to Baku. A car ride and a flight later you and Toto land in Azerbaijan. Both of you wait in the jet until the car is ready to take you from the plane to the hotel. At that time the cockpit door opens and you take a look inside. The pilot who goes out of the cockpit is not Mike. You raise your eyebrow at this and you look at the door more intensely for Toto to notice.

“What are you looking at?” he asks looking up from his phone

“Our pilot.” you say

“What about him, are you not satisfied?” he asks

“No, I am. But the question is, where is Mike?”

“He’s on leave, why?”

“Just wondering”

“Why would you care about him?”

“Because I like him”

“Noted” he says and turns back to his phone without speaking

“Are you jealous Wolff?” you ask

“No”

“Are you sure?”

“End of discussion” he says and you laugh

“Okay sir.” you tell him

After that the crew opens the door and you get off the plane. You already made sure that you have your mask on you so people won’t recognize you. Back to the same old ways. You take a ride to the hotel and you walk straight to your suite in which some other Mercedes employee checked you in before you arrived. Toto goes back to his own suite even though he asked you to hang out with him instead. You settle down in your suite and check Toto's schedule for the weekend

13:30-14:00: Press conference

14:10-14:50: F1 Team Principal Meeting

14:50-16:00: Coffee Break

16:00-17:00: Team Meeting

18:00-20:00: Business meeting

20:30: Dinner

You open your phone and text Toto

You

I’ve been taking a look at your schedule, is everything to your agreement?

Wolff

Yes, all is checked and approved

You

Good to know. By what I'm seeing, it’s going to be a full day. I mean press, team meetings and business meetings

Wolff

Oh is it actually on my schedule?

You

The business meeting? Yeah it’s tabbed in from 18:00 to 20:00. Should I remove it, is it wrong?

Wolff

No, let them believe that I’m busy during that time.I have already planned something. It’s not a business meeting, it is supposed to be a meeting for us two but I told Brad that I will be busy so I guess he thought it was business related

You

Oh, so I am busy from 18:00 to 20:00 too? What are we going to do ?

Wolff

I would let you be curious but we are supposed to go to a boat trip in the Caspian. I’ve chartered a boat for a couple of hours and then we will be having dinner too, so please do not wear high heels.

You

Oh I love boat trips so no high heels

It’s not like I could put heels on though, I will be dressed in the Merc gear all day long

Wolff

Well pack another outfit but still no high heels

You

Okay then. I guess I’ll see you later?

Wolff

Tomorrow

You switch your phone off and fall asleep for a few hours. It’s already early in the morning since you left Nice at night and the flight lasted a long time but thank god you didn’t have to be at the paddock until noon. You wake up at 11 and order some breakfast. You get ready and phone Toto to let him know you are ready. 10 minutes later you are on your way there in his black AMG SUV and you see the fans taking photos of the car. Well it’s Toto they’re taking pictures of since they have no idea about who you actually are. You get out of the car and go to Merc’s hospitality. You wave Toto goodbye and you go to your office while he’s off to his. Later on you hear a knock at your door.

“Who is this?” you ask

“Mindy, it’s Lewis.” you hear a voice

You stand up and put your mask on before opening the door. Better safe than sorry. When you open the door you see that it’s indeed Lewis so you welcome him in. You take off your mask and sit on the little couch

“How is it going?” he asks

“Everything’s good, thank you. How are you?”

“Good. You know how it is. Just running around, trying to keep up with everything.”

“Lewis Hamilton trying to keep up? I am pretty sure everyone is trying to keep up with you, not you with them.”

“Well yeah, when it comes to F1 it’s pretty much how you say it is. But in real life I have so many things to keep up with.”

“I bet you do. Like I am pretty sure you are flying to New York as soon as the race ends.”

“I am. Met Gala.” he says and you laugh

“So you won’t be here for post race celebrations if you win. I guess I should hand the win to George this time, or maybe let Red Bull win.”

“Don’t you dare”

“I won’t Lew, you know you’re my fav. But if you want to secure the win, I need to get in the Met next year.” “Deal.” he says

“Oh god Lewis, I was only joking.”

“I know, but I am pretty sure that I can land you an invitation.”

“We’ll see until next year.” you tell him “Is Roscoes coming to the gala?”

“No, I am actually sending him back to Monaco for the week and then he’ll be with me in Miami.”

“Where is he going to stay in Monaco?”

“At the pet hotel.”

“Why don’t you leave him with me ?”

“In Monaco?” he asks

“I live there now”

“You do? I can leave him with you, of course.”

“If you don’t fully trust me I can ask Toto for his help. We live in the same building.” “I have so many questions about this but I have to go. It’s gym time.” he says

“We can figure out the logistics about Roscoe later. Have a good session Lewis.” you tell him before he leaves the office

For the next hour or so you hang out in your office all alone and when it is time you leave the hospitality center to accompany him to the press conference. Just when you are outside the press conference center you see Christian and by his side a really familiar face that you cannot remember. You take another look at her while Toto stops dead in his tracks.

“What?” you ask him and he looks confused. You take a look for a third time. You see a familiar girl dressed in Red Bull gear talking to Christian. It’s then when it clicks. The girl is Cynthia. Cynthia Jones dressed in Red Bull speaking to Christian. What the heck is this about? You can feel the anger rising to your chest

“Breathe” you hear him say

“That’s too far” you tell him

“It’s crazy.” he says “Go talk to her, find out what this is all about.”

“I will" you say

“Just be careful not to reveal too many things"

“Of course"

Toto glances at his watch. 12:55

“I should get going, press is starting in 5"

“Okay, I'll see you later" you tell him and he nods “Do you wanna meet here?"

“I’ll be straight off to the TP meeting. I will see you during the coffee break, okay?”

“Okay”

“Try to find out what Cynthia is doing here.” he says

“I will” you tell him and you smile

“And if you are too angry about what you find out, I have some files you can take a look at while you’re waiting.”

“Okay” you say and you leave him. You spot Cynthia hanging out outside the press center and you decide to approach her

“Hello.” you tell her

“Hi” she replies and smiles “Oh, you’re Mindy right? The girl who gave us the Mercedes tour in Jeddah?”

“Yup, that’s me.” maybe not “What are you doing here?” you ask her

“I landed a job in Red Bull Racing. Isn’t it crazy?” she says

“Oh definitely. You went from visiting the paddock to actually working here, congrats!” you try to play excited when you are actually fuming

“It was meant to be. I landed the job when I was visiting the paddock in Jeddah.”

“How come?”

“Christian Horner met us at the paddock club and he asked what we were doing. Once I told him about my studies in management he asked to see me in person and then he proposed this job.”

“What’s your position?”

“For what I’ve understood, I am currently sort of replacing Christian’s daughter while I am also acting like his PA.”

“Oh so management?”

“It’s still too early for that title and I definitely don’t have that much freedom as an executive does. I am thinking it more like an internship in management while also being a personal assistant to Christian.”

“Oh Christian” you say and you roll your eyes

“He’s not as bad as everyone thinks he is.” she says “He might actually be better than Toto”

“Yeah, nah” you tell her “Toto is actually definitely more human-ish than Christian.”

“And how would you know? Have you ever worked with Christian?” she asks jokingly. If only she knew

“No but judging from the paddock rumors he seems to be a tough one to handle.”

“Absolutely not. He is really kind and funny. Really chill type. He made me call him by his name since day 1. It’s really like we’re friends.”

“That’s really good for you.” you say

“What about Toto?” she asks. As if she would let it go

“Mr. Wolff is really nice.”

“You’re not calling him Toto?”

“No, he prefers to keep things professional. He’s more into being formal and things.”

“Must be boring” she says

“It’s pretty good for now and I’m always guessing, familiarity might be a little too much at some point.”

“Christian has been saying this about his daughter.”

“He has?” you ask slightly nervously

“Yeah, he said that working with family might be a little too overwhelming at some point.”

“Well he’s kinda right. Did he say why she left?”

“From what I’ve taken they decided that she should take a break and she’s currently hanging out in Monaco in her new apartment. He’s thinking of taking her back by the Monaco Grand Prix but he’s not sure yet.” she tells you

“Oh, well. Whatever suits them best.”

“Yeah, we are not the ones to judge.”

“Definitely not.”

“It was really fun talking to you again Mindy. We should hang out sometime.”

“Yeah definitely.” It’s not like you slept with the man I am sleeping with. you think

You wave at her and leave the press center to wait until Toto finishes his morning tasks. You open the F1TV stream and watch his interview. When Will starts asking a question to Franz Tost you decide to text Toto about your findings.

You

Turns out Cynthia Jones is staying in my life for good cause apparently Christian hired her in my position during the Saudi GP. And I wasn’t even out of the team for a week

You see him holding his phone and taking a glance at it while Franz is speaking. He rolls his eyes and puts the phone back in his pocket. You stay once again in your office, going through Toto’s schedule for the weekend and looking at your socials. Some time later your phone rings

Wolff

She’s going to make our lives hard but it's very typical of Christian to hire someone from the first day that you left

You

She even proposed that we should hang out

Wolff

If only she knew

You

That’s what I said

Wolff

She was waiting outside the press center for Christian and now they’re both in front of me walking to the TP meeting. She’s talking and Christian is laughing like he’s having the time of his life

You

I figured she’s that type of assistant cause according to her she and Christian are practically besties now. It’s going to be a good one when I get back to rb

Wolff

Remind me to mount a secret mic and camera on you when that happens cause I want to see the Horner-Jones fight.

You

I bet you she’s going to regret the day she agreed to that position

Wolff

Whoa, too aggressive. How about checking some data before the coffee break cause rumor has it that you love reading data and commenting on them

You

Anything to get her off my mind and anything for you Mr. Wolff

Wolff

I’m flattered. There’s a file in your email waiting for your comments and questions. Bet Bono is going to be thrilled. I am off to the meeting, see you soon.

After Toto’s messages you check your email to take a look at the file he sent you. It’s full of data and details about this year’s rocketship. It is then when it hits you. The data are from the simulator and the track they’ve been using is Barcelona. In Red Bull you always used to run simulations in Barcelona so you have the exact same data from your ex team. You open them and start comparing them and finding where Mercedes lacks compared to Red Bull. You also open Adrian’s and GP’s essays on car performances and start noting any questions or things you’ve noticed. You really hope Toto will actually use them in his meeting with Bono and James. However, you keep all of the comparisons to yourself. You are not sure Toto is in favor of cheating so you will probably announce it to him later during the coffee break. You make a new file and email it to his account. Later on you hear a knock on your door.

“It’s Toto” you can hear him say and you unlock the door for him to enter.

“Hey.” you say

“Hi, how are you feeling?” he asks

“I am good. I read all the data and I relaxed so much.”

“Well, I, on the other hand, almost had a fight with Christian.”

“Why?” you ask

“Because he was being a douchebag.”

“Nah, he was just being Christian” you tell him and he laughs

“Was the data any good?”

“Yeah, I also emailed you my questions and stuff.”

“Oh, I will be forwarding them to James and Bono.”

“Speaking of the data, I saw they were sim data from Barcelona.”

“We use Barcelona almost every time for our simulations.”

“Well, it turns out, Red Bull does too.” you tell him and he looks at you, suggests to keep talking “I have the comparisons fully made here. There’s also an excel file with all the lacks and the sections Red Bull might present an advantage.”

“This is interesting.”

“I know Toto. But the thing is, I didn’t email those to you because I didn’t know if you wanted to have access to all that information.”

“I totally get it.”

“You should understand that this is confidential, but if you decide you want it, it will be in your inbox right away.”

“This file can affect the whole development path for us.” he says

“I know, that’s why I kept it.”

“You should keep it for yourself.”

“I swear I won’t give this to Red Bull.”

“I trust that you won’t” he says

“I will always have it at hand if you want to use it though. Anything for Mr. Wolff” you say and both of you laugh

“Thank you.” he says “Do you want some coffee and a snack? It’s coffee break after all.”

“No, thank you. You can leave this tiny office and enjoy your coffee in your office. I feel bad for keeping you here.”

“I am only hanging out here because I want to.” he says “But I’ll leave you alone. We’ll have enough time tonight.”

“Of course.” you smile at him

“Meet you after the team meeting ?”

“I will be waiting.”

Once Toto leaves for his coffee break and the team meeting later you decide to go out and see the track. There are some bikes available at the hospitality center so you grab one and ride at the track of Baku. You see other people doing the same thing, some of the drivers are also doing their track walks. At some point you spot Max. It’s been a while since you talked considering the fact that you didn’t even see him in Jeddah but you kept texting during that time. When you spot him it is in your impulse that you almost yell at him to go and talk to him. When you remember that you are actually supposed to be an unbothered Mercedes employee you change your mind, and as you are caught up in your thoughts you almost lose your balance. Thankfully you save it before you find yourself in the ground or the barriers and you keep your direction and finish your lap. 6 km later you are back in your office, thankfully not sweaty since you took your time to circle the track, and you also have a cup of tea and a chocolate bun as a snack. You take a bite as you see today’s headlines from the Media day and you also take a look at some market news. After a while Toto texts again

Wolff

Just finished asking all of your questions to the mechanics and they were impressed to say the least because they managed to assess some really important things for the race

You

Next time I should be present in those meetings

Wolff

I will personally make sure of it. We will be done in 25, I’ll pick you up. Don’t be late

Those 25 minutes pass by quite fast and you don't realize until Toto is knocking at your door. Thankfully you packed your stuff earlier so Toto cannot complain about you being late.

“I am impressed.”

“I didn’t actually understand how fast the time passed. Thank god I had my things packed.”

“That’s why I texted you earlier.” he says

“Yeah but you cannot complain now.” you reply

“No, the truth is I cannot.”

“Are we going straight to the boat?” you ask

“Yes, that’s why I told you to pack another outfit. Tell me you didn’t forget”

“I did not”

“Good. Now get your stuff, we are leaving.” After that both of you leave the track and go to the boat Toto has chartered for a couple of hours. He helps you hop on the boat and he does the same

“Are you going to drive this?” you ask

“Are you scared?”

“It depends on whether you are driving this thing or not”

“I am driving”

“Are you allowed to do this?”

“You are shitting yourself” he laughs

“Yeah because if we drown, imagine the headlines people will write.”

“We’ll be the next Rose and Jack.” he says

“Yeah, almost.”

“Just so you know, I am fully capable of navigating the boat.”

“For real?”

“I have a sailing license.”

“Is there anything you can’t do ?”

“Think straight when you’re with me.”

“Very funny.”

“It’s true.” he says and you take a look around and see people walking up and down the harbor “What about finally leaving? We’re going to miss the sunset if we take any longer.”

“Let’s go” he sails and he undocks the boat.

The two of you sail in the Caspian leaving the Baku port behind you. Toto is making sure that everything he does is safe, occasionally checking on the radar to see whether there are other boats in close proximity. You sit by his side and snap a couple of pictures of him while he’s driving the boat. He looks absolutely stunning. It’s already late afternoon, 19:00-ish and the sky is starting to get sweeter, indicative of the sunset later on. When you are finally out of the waters in a space that is far enough from the shore but close enough so you can distinguish the structures of the city, Toto drops the anchor and stops the boat there. “That’s quite a nice view.” you say

“I figured you would like it” he says and comes to your side

“You can actually see the whole city from here.”

“I figured that since we are not able to see the city together on foot, maybe this is the second best option.”

“It is. Although I would have loved a nice walk and a tour of the old city.”

“I would have loved that too.” he says as you keep looking at the city behind you and puts his hand on your lower back.

“This right here, is the Maiden Tower," Toto points at a tower and your gaze follows his finger

“Legend has it that a young princess jumped from the top and ended her life because her father wouldn’t accept the man she loved."

“Hope I won’t end up this way.”

“God, I hope not.” he laughs and you shift your gaze to the two largest towers in the scenery

“The flame towers.”

“I know them Toto, I’ve been coming to Baku for a while.”

“Let me give you a tour, Horner. Don’t be shit.” he says and you smile

“Go on then.”

“The flame towers were finished in 2012. The building is a little less than 200 meters and it has a double purpose. In the first tower there are a lot of offices and apartments and in the second tower there’s a hotel.”

“What are they supposed to mean?”

“They are meant to symbolize the eternal spirit of Azerbaijan and the country's enduring strength and resilience. Plus the whole flame design idea came from an Ancient Azerbaijani tradition of fire worshiping.”

“I love them, they look so pretty.”

“And right beside there’s the crystal hall.”

“Never heard of it” you say

“Eurovision was hosted there in 2012.”

“Wait, how do you know, are you a fan ?” you ask him

“No, I hate Eurovision.”

“What?!” you say surprised. “You’re European, you cannot hate eurovision.”

“I can, and I do.”

“But why?”

“Because it’s kitsch”

“It’s not kitsch, it’s camp, everyone loves camp.”

“It’s kitsch and I hate it, move on.” he says

“I cannot wait for the day that I will make you watch it.”

“I’d rather Christian find out about us.”

“That’s a bold one” you tell him

“Last but not least, the fortress.” he says ignoring you and points to it

“I’ve seen the fortress, I took a ride at the track today.”

“How did you like it?”

“It’s so pretty, but it’s prettier from the sea. And much more interesting when you talk to me about it.”

“Hm” he says and he puts an arm around you

“How did you learn all those things?” you ask

“I read a lot, even if I don’t have time to see the sights, I like to read about them, get to know the story of the city that I am in.”

“That’s fair. I was wondering because I’ve been here like five times and I’ve never gotten past the name of each sight here.”

“That’s good because you can for once, not talk and let me show you around.”

“You’re the best tour guide I’ve ever had.” you smile at him and you leave a kiss on his cheek.

During the next hour you stay on the boat in the Caspian and see the sun set on the horizon. You take a look at the flame towers which reflect the orange and pink lights of the sunset. You snap some pictures of the scenery as well as Toto who is sitting carelessly in the boat with his white linen shirt and his sunglasses on. He also snaps some pictures of you from both yours and his phone and you also take some selfies. You immediately set the best picture of him as his contact picture and once you are done with the whole photo thing you get back to where Toto is currently sitting and relax with him for a little while longer. You two soak in the views without talking much. As it starts to get darker Toto drives the boat back to the harbor where you dock and leave to get to the hotel. Both you and Toto enter the elevator to get to your suites

“You’re coming over for dinner right?” he asks

“Well, I was thinking of getting some sleep for tomorrow.”

“Come on, I’ve already asked roomservice to have our table set.”

“Now I can’t say no.” you tell him and smile at him. When the elevator gets to your floor you walk out and follow him to the door of his suite. You enter first and he follows and the smell of food hits your senses.

“It smells fantastic.” you say

“It’s traditional Azerbaijani cuisine.”

“I love it. We should have tried the Saudi Arabian foods as well.”

“Well, nothing can go wrong with Italian.” he says

“Then why didn’t we order Italian” you tease him

“Because I wanted to immerse myself in the Azerbaijani culture today.”

“Is it a part of the guided tour?”

“Well, couldn’t it be?” he says “Since I’ve already given you a sight tour, I am ready to give you a culinary tour as well” he tells you as he pulls the chair off the table so that you can take your seat

“Thank you.” you tell him and you sit down as he walks back to his side of the table and sits down

“This is called Dolma.” he says as he leaves one of them on your plate “It is grape leaves with a filling of minced lamb with rice and some herbs.”

“Interesting” you say as you take a look at the plates on the table “Oh god, is this kebab?”

“You know kebab?” he asks

“Literally everyone knows what kebab is Toto, it’s not a secret. It’s actually one of my favorite street foods.”

“It is really good.” he tells you as he grabs a bite of it “You should also try out the pilaf”

You take a look at it “What is this?”

“It’s something like a risotto I guess”

“I thought you knew the exact recipe of every single plate” you tease him

“Apparently I don’t, I just took a look at the menu and chose what I thought was best.”

“Everything looks delicious though.” you tell him

“Wait until Miami. We’re going to eat some great burgers there.”

“Speaking of which, I am not sure that I will be in Miami”

“Why ?”

“Because it was cringe enough last year, I won’t submit myself to that whole cringe fest again.”

“You will be coming.”

“Says who?”

“Me” he replies and you sit there taking another bite of your amazing food, slightly annoyed . When he realizes that what he said made you angry he talks again. “Look, it is really important that you should be there. It is supposed to be your home race, we’ve told everyone that you are American, if you are only staying for a few more races it will be weird if you are not present for the only time you will get to go to a race in your country with the team.”

“No one will remember Toto.”

“People will remember. We have a list of each race in which we note whose home race it is. And by what I’ve seen you are already on the list.”

“I didn’t write my name anywhere.”

“I am pretty sure Bradley did. He probably remembers that you are American and just added you in.”

“And what about the home race list?”

“We are kind of celebrating it by giving them less time to work during the weekend, or allowing them to bring their families in.”

“That’s so sweet though.” you say

“I mean, people are important to us, they are not just workers, they are our companions.”

“I hate this team” you say and you see Toto lifting one eyebrow at you “I mean, I hate how much I already love it. How am I supposed to go back to Red Bull?”

“You can just stay in Mercedes.”

“And say what to Christian?”

“Tell him that his team is shit, his management is also shit and that you cannot grow in that shitty environment.”

“He’ll find out that you told me to say that and then you will find yourself on the cover of Corriere dello Sport.”

“Won’t be the first time.” he laughs “ Jokes aside, would you ever consider leaving Red Bull?”

“Now I certainly do. I mean, I hadn’t seen anything aside from how Red Bull worked as a team and the race weekend at Saudi was eye opening.”

“Is that a yes?”

“I am already considering it, yes.”

“Will be nice to have you here one day, without hiding I mean.”

“I wasn’t talking about Mercedes. I am considering an offer at Ferrari.” you tell him jokingly and he almost chokes at his wine

“Where?”

“Ferrari. It’s a really great team with a great legacy.”

“Ask them for a paddock pass for tomorrow then.” he says and you burst out laughing

“I am only joking.” you tell him “I would consider it if I had an offer from another team though.”

“We will always have a position available for you if you ever decide to leave that shithole.”

“I’ll tell you when this happens.”

“There’s a when, not an if, that’s good.”

“I know what’s best for me and I am slowly convincing myself it’s not Red Bull”

“Good.” he says and you two keep eating until you hear someone knocking on his door .

“I’ll be right back” Toto tells you and answers the door. You can hear him talking with someone, his voice is quite familiar.

“Shov?What are you doing here?”

“Do you have some time to see tomorrow’s practice program?” you can hear him say

“Um, I am actually a little busy.”

“It will only take a second, you should only check and approve it.”

“I fully trust you Andrew, I approve of it.”

“Good.” he says and he almost leaves “Are you having dinner with someone?”

“Yes, with Lewis, we are discussing contract extensions.”

“Has he been here a long time?”

“An hour or so.” Toto tells him

“That’s funny, because 20 minutes earlier I was at the gym with Lewis.”

“Um…”

“It’s okay Wolff, I hope you are having a good time with whomever you are hanging out with right now” he says and laughs “Hello unknown person who is having dinner with Toto.” You hold your laugh until Toto says goodnight to him and he leaves the room. When you see Toto entering the room with his ‘I fucked up’ face, you burst out laughing and he joins you seconds later. “I hope he was not angry” you tell him

“No he wasn’t angry, I am pretty sure he was thrilled about the whole thing. He’s been trying to get me someone to hang out with for ages.”

“You are good mates huh?”

“He’s one of my closest friends, yes.”

“And he still asks for your approval for the program he wants the team to follow tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ve told him millions of times that it’s not necessary but he insists.”

“That’s so sweet of him.”

“I am only taking a look at it before approving it, it’s not like I pay that much attention, I fully trust him.” he tells you and you keep eating

“When are we leaving for Miami?” you ask

“We? I thought you weren’t coming.”

“I am, I also have to bring Roscoe with me, I promised Lewis that I will take care of him from Sunday till we get to Miami so that he doesn’t have to while he’s in New York for the Met.”

“You promised Lewis that you will carry Roscoe all the way from Monaco to Miami?”

“That we will carry him, yes.”

“How did I get involved in this? I don’t remember having any conversation about a dog.”

“I told him that I would take care of him and then I promised that you will help me since you’re now my neighbor. I figured you would know him a little better than I do. I mean Lewis brings him to the paddock almost every week.”

“And have you ever seen me with a dog in the paddock?” he asks

“No, but I thought you had a good relationship with him.”

“Me and Roscoe’s relationship is nonexistent, Horner.”

“Oh god, tell me you are afraid of Roscoes” you make fun of him

“I am thinking of leaving Nice on Thursday morning.” he says

“You are changing the subject.”

“I am not, you asked me when I plan on leaving for Miami and I answered.”

“Thursday huh? What about Media day?”

“I’ll have Shov or either one of the two James to do it and we will be present for the Free practice.”

“Cool.” you tell him

For the rest of the night you hang out together until you decide to leave.

“Will we be going to the paddock together?”

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning.”

“What’s the schedule for tomorrow? Hold up, let me check.” you tell him and grab your phone out of your pocket to take a look. “Oh you have a business meeting after FP1 which is supposed to last almost until the start of FP2. James is set to do the press.”

“I don’t remember having any business meetings. Who is it with?”

You take a look at your phone reading the name which catches you completely off guard. You blink twice and take another look at it, still the same name. “Who planned this?” you ask

“I don’t know, I don’t remember planning anything for Saturday. Maybe Bradley did.”

“This cannot be real.”

“It better not be Cynthia again.”

“Who cares about her right now?”

“Will you tell me who I am meeting tomorrow for whatever reason or am I going to this meeting unprepared?”

“The guy you hated last week, Marc Taylor?”

“Seriously?”

“I am dead serious Toto, his name is here.” you tell him and show him the name on the schedule. “You are supposed to discuss sponsorship. Apparently the Taylor Group is interested in investing in F1”

“This is going to be a hell of a meeting.”

“This is going to be a disaster.”

“Funny that both of the people from our past keep appearing in our ways.”

“It’s not funny, it’s shit. Toto, promise me you will handle it gracefully.”

“Dear, I have nothing to be afraid of. You’ve proven to me who you’re always thinking of. It’s pure business. If he wants to invest and it favors the team then we shall cooperate.”

You take a deep breath “That’s too much information and it’s already getting late. I am guessing I should get going.”

“Won’t you stay for the night?”

“Nah, it’s quite early in the race weekend and I want you to focus tomorrow. Both for the testing sessions and the Marc thing.”

“Okay, see you tomorrow?”

“I am actually thinking that maybe I should skip FP1 since Marc will be around, I don’t want him finding out who I am.”

“Smart idea.”

“I am going to drive myself to the track and meet you for FP2”

“Brunch at the track?” he asks

“Oh definitely.” you tell him and you kiss him goodbye as you go back to your suite. You don’t have anything to do so you decide to check your emails before going to sleep. You see a new message popping up the list From: Netflix, DTS

Miss Horner, we would like to schedule our next shooting with you for the newest season. Please let us know if and when you are available to be present at the track where the interviews take place.Kind Regards, The DTS Producers

You shrug and decide to answer From: Ms. Horner

Hello and thank you for contacting me, I am currently taking some time off the team and I am not aware of which race weekend I will be back in the paddock. I will however be happy to inform you as soon as I find out about my whereabouts within Red Bull. Regards, Miss Horner

You set your alarm at the same time Toto’s and Marc’s meeting is supposed to take place and then switch off your mobile and fall asleep. The next morning you wake up just in time to actually take a shower and get ready to go back to the track. You arrive there just in time for FP2. Everyone’s already in the garage so you decide to go there directly. As always, you see Toto sitting at the top of the fantasy island watching over the two garages. “Hello Mr. Wolff.”

“Oh, you’re here!” he says

“How did your meeting with Marco Barco go ?” you say and as soon as the words get out of your mouth you see Marc Taylor himself walking next to Toto with his headset on “How did you just call me?” he asks and you freeze, mainly because no one calls him like this except from you, the Horner you, not the Mindy Rosevelt you. “How did I call you?”

“Did you call me Marco Barco?” he says and Toto looks at the both of you slightly confused

“I called you Marc. Just Marc.” you tell him

“Alright.” “Mindy, this is Marc Taylor, he’s the owner of our newest sponsor. We closed the deal earlier during our meeting.”

“Mr. Taylor, I am so glad that we will have you around more from now on.”

“So am I, I am glad that I actually decided to go for my instinct and invest something in F1.”

“Absolutely.”

A short minute after he asks

“Why are you still wearing a mask? Isn’t it bothering you?”

“Oh no no, it does not. I am actually wearing it because I don’t want to catch any colds and lose my internship days.”

“I see. And where are you from? Mindy right?” By the questions he asks you are already sure that he is suspecting something

“Yes, I am from Boston, US and I ended up here as an intern from Daimler US.” you say and he answers “That’s really cool.” For the rest of the time you don’t interact, Toto isn’t involving in any of your talks and you know it’s because he fears that he’ll fuck this up more if he does. However, he still speaks to you and Marc separately and when he’s talking to Marc he shows off a little more confidence and certainty. It’s like he knows that he’s better than him, which he actually is and you’ve made it clear both that night in Monaco and yesterday after your dinner. The session finishes with the two red bulls on top, followed by the two Mercedes. “P3 and 4 isn’t bad but it’s not P1 and P2 either. I know we’re running similar engine mappings and we still need to be on top.” Toto says in his message to the mechanics.“I am sure we will be there by tomorrow.” you tell him “I should go grab some food because I haven’t eaten yet. I am sure I will see you around Mr. Taylor.”

“I believe so.”

“Marc and I are going to talk a little more and he’ll be off in a while. Talk to you later?” Toto says and winks on you while Marc is on his phone “Of course Mr Wolff. See you later.” you tell him and get back at the hospitality center where you get some food which you take to Toto’s office. You unlock the door with the set of keys he has given you and you set your tray at the table beside his office. You lock the door as you stay inside in order to surprise him. After some time you can hear footsteps approaching and the door handle moves but the door doesn’t open“Oh it is locked.” you can hear Toto say and the next thing you can hear is his keys on the lock. He opens the door and just as he enters the office you speak “I thought we should have brunch together.” The man who enters the room stops dead in his tracks. Of fucking course it’s Marc, followed by Toto who is gesturing something to someone in the hallway. Toto stops and looks at you. Marc speaks first “Horner, what are you doing there?” he asks “Shush Taylor, they’re going to hear you.”

“Why are you sitting in Toto’s office dressed in Merc gear?”

“Ummm” you say and you pause to think “F1 made us have team principal meetings like this in order to boost our relationship” you tell him, not a good excuse. In fact it’s a terrible excuse. “What kind of bullshit do you think you’re selling to me?” Marc asks. Toto is just behind him shaking his head “There’s no point in trying to lie to him.”

“Isn’t there?” you ask and at the same time Marc is taking a look at you. “You’re Mindy? I figured something was wrong here.”

“Look, I need you to shut your mouth about this. No one can know.”

“Why are you here in the first place?” he asks “Christian shut her out of the team for an unknown period of time and she wanted to have access to the paddock without paying herself.” Toto says. “Why didn’t you ask Franz to take you in his team for a while?”

“Because I didn’t want Christian involved in anything.”

“So you two guys had a fight? And what about Mercedes Toto, how is the team going to be safe with all of this.”

Toto tries to explain the situation to Marc “She has already signed NDAs about the team, and I wouldn’t even take her in if i didn’t trust her.” You take a deep breath and Toto understands the position you are in so he decides to leave you and Marc alone for a second “Should I go fetch us something to drink?”

“Yes please.” you tell him

“Why did you end up out of the team in the first place?”

“I was late to a business meeting. You know how Christian is with them.”

“And he threw you out. How long has this been going on ?”

“Not long ago, the GP in Jeddah was my first one with Merc.” you say. Marc stays quiet for a while and his eyes spark with realization a minute or two later. “Oh god, it’s him, isn’t he?”

“What?” you ask him. “The guy you’re heads over heels with? The situationship man! That’s why he’s the one you turned to for the paddock access and that’s why he gave it to you. You two are dating right?”

“Well yeah, it is him but I told you before, no one can know okay?”

“Of course. How long have you been together?”

“We are not together yet, we are just spending time.”

“Yeah right and he took you in his team because he’s just spending time with you.” he tells you and you laugh “I might not know him for a long time but I can tell who I am making deals with. He’s a very direct guy.”

“I know he is.”

“If it’s not me, he’s the next best option.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying since this has been happening.”

“I am happy for you, really.”

“Thank you Marc.” you tell him. Later on Toto comes back with your drinks and the three of you discuss for sometime. Later on and only after you’ve completed your duties for the day you wave Toto and Marc goodbye and go back to your hotel. You sit in your room, have an extra long video call with Sara in which you tell her everything about today and all the days you’ve been missing from Monaco and she texts you a photo from her balcony in Monaco which you post in your official instagram story in order to make everyone believe that you are actually there and not in Azerbaijan. You watch a bunch of drive to survive episodes to prepare for your upcoming interviews and then take a long relaxing shower. Before you even realize it is time for dinner and just as you were thinking of it you get a text

Wolff

Are you coming over for dinner?

You

Nah, I am actually thinking that maybe I should get some rest before tomorrow. I will be ordering something here instead

Wolff

Okay. I hope you are alright

You

Yes, all good but I would like to be excluded from tomorrow’s practice session. Only if I am not needed that is

Wolff

You are always needed but you are always working hard and think you deserve to have the session off

You

Thank you Toto, I won’t forget that ;)

Wolff

I hope you won’t

After your chat with Toto you decide to order some dinner in your room and after that you spend some time on your socials before going to bed. The next day you wake up early as you hear someone knocking at your door. Well, it’s not just someone, in fact, it is Lewis who is at your door and right by his side is his best friend, Roscoe. You were expecting them since Lewis told you he would bring Roscoe over to your suite before hitting the track for FP3 and now you are supposed to take care of him and bring him back to the paddock just before qualifying, when Angela will take over from you. “Good Morning. Were you sleeping?”

“I was yeah but I was planning to wake up either way.”

“This is my good boy Roscoe” he says and he kneels and pats his back “Good boy” he says. “He is adorable.” you tell him and you also kneel to pet him. “He might be a little shy at first, he just wants a lot of cuddling and playing. I am sure he will love you though.”

“I hope he will, we will have to spend some time together before Miami.”

“Toto mentioned that you didn’t want to come, did you decide otherwise?”

“I did yeah, we are planning to come on Friday so Roscoe will be there by then. When are you flying from New York?”

“Thursday morning, I have media duties, I am not like you.” he laughs

“Well, I am not going to the Met either so I guess we are even.”

“Yeah right. Am I going to see you at qualifying?”

“Of course, I plan on coming, I will bring Roscoe to you later.”

“Good, see you then I guess.”

“Bye Lewis.” you say as you wave him goodbye. Roscoe and you enter your suite and you can see him running in his tiny feet trying to take in the space around him. You decide to take a shower but you leave the door open and as soon as you come out of the tub you find Roscoe sitting there waiting for you. For the rest of the time you play with his favorite toy that Lewis left you and he lies on your side as you take a look at the morning news. When the time comes, you get ready and hit the track once again but this time with Roscoe Hamilton on your side. You can see photographers taking pictures of you but you remain completely calm as your face mask and your hair hide your real identity and enter the Mercedes hospitality. You drop Roscoe off to Lewis’ suite where Angela takes over, and text Toto who you can clearly see from the garage that you’re currently sitting in. Toto is just outside making statements to broadcasting channels and companies ahead of qualifying and you are sitting there on the right side of his chair waiting for him to come back as soon as the broadcast of qualifying begins. The session is pretty good for the team, meaning Mercedes and the drivers manage to get P2 and P3. Max is sitting in P1 for tomorrow’s start, a brilliant lap from him you think. “2nd and 3rd are pretty good positions.” Toto says. “The only thing that scares me is Max in P1.”

“We’ve got him, the setup for the race will be even better, Mick has been running the data from the analysis the engineers made based on your comments on the simulator and we’ve seen impressive lap times. We’ll get this for sure.”

“I never doubted their skills, I am sure they can even make the Williams work.”

“They are not doing miracles, they are just engineers.” Toto says and you laugh “They had some good guidance, we wouldn’t have found the exact setup if it wasn’t for you.”

“It’s just Saturday though. We will see tomorrow.”

“You’re right.” he tells you “About tonight, you don’t have any plans right?”

“Except for laying in bed as soon as I get back and ordering dinner I don’t plan on doing anything else.”

“Dinner and movie then?” he asks and you nod “Hitting the track together ?” you ask and he blinks a couple of times. “How come?”

“Well, won’t I be sleeping in your suite tonight?”

“I am surprised that you’re even proposing that.”

“Well if you don’t want to, I have plenty of space in my suite, I will be sleeping all alone again.”

“Okay, dinner and sleepover in my suite for tonight.”

“Will you be doing press?” you ask.“Only for an hour or so, after that I need you with me in the post qualifying meeting with the mechanics.” he tells you. “Where?” you ask surprised. “I need someone to write some notes down for me during that meeting so I figured you would want to join.”

“But-” you hesitate and he interrupts you before you can finish up your sentence “I don’t have any issue with you, I fully trust you.”

“I know, you’ve been quite vocal about it.”

“Well, best believe it. Also, you won’t be there just for note taking, you can partake to the whole meeting with your points or ideas”

“You cannot be serious.” you tell him. “I am as serious as it gets Horner. Wait for me outside your office in an hour.” Toto says as he waves at you and disappears from your sight. After an hour you find him outside your office. Both of you attend the post-quali meeting where you participate with a lot of questions about the performance of the car. At some point you also hear praise from Bono about the setup that you proposed. Well, he didn’t exactly give credit to you, since for him it’s nowhere near your job to give mechanical input about a car set up but he did say that whoever came up with the insights on the setup was a great help. The car was flying compared to the free practice yesterday. It turns out that you actually helped them and you now, more than ever, feel a part of a team that embraces you even if it isn’t directly said to your face. As soon as the meeting is done you and Toto go back to the hotel, wasting no time in the paddock. You get directly back to Toto’s suite where food is already served. The both of you eat and then you relax for a while on the couch

“I am so exhausted from today.” you tell him

“Do you want to sleep?” he asks

“How about we watch a movie?”

“You are going to sleep in the first 5 minutes”

“I promise you I won’t” you tell him “Not if the movie is good anyways”

“How about La La Land?” he asks and you look at him and burst into laughter. “You want to watch La La Land? Are you serious?”

“I just happen to know that you love it.”

“Yeah but do you actually like it?” you ask. Toto clears his voice“Um, I haven’t watched it.” and you answer surprised “You cannot be serious.”

“I am. Whether you believe it or not, I don't watch such movies. Or any movies at all.”

“You are traveling 300 days out of 365 and you don’t watch movies? What do you do on the plane?”

“Read the news, sleep. It’s not that I don’t watch movies, it’s just that it is not on a regular basis.”

“I will make you a cinema fan, I swear. La La Land was game changing for me. That’s what we are going to watch. I don’t care if you don’t like musicals.” you say and you navigate in the TV menu to find the movie stream “Oh and by the way, if you haven’t watched Mamma Mia yet, I will get my ass off this suite and not talk to you until you watch it.”

“I have watched it and I can say that I actually liked it.”

“Aren’t you ashamed to say it Mr. Perfect Image?” you ask him. “Not to you. You clearly watch that kitsch fest that is Eurovision and love musicals so I am not the one to be ashamed here.” he says. “Hey!” you yell at him.“Just press play Horner.” he says and you follow his instructions. During the whole movie you can see he watches with pure interest, even during the songs which he doesn’t know he seems like he’s having fun. You are doing your part to keep him entertained, singing all the songs since this is probably your 50th rewatch. You make all the fun and smart remarks that you’ve seen on socials from other fans of the movie to keep him engaged. When the movie ends, during the epilogue scene and towards the end you can see him tensing, kind of trying to cover his emotions up. As the credits roll you turn to him. “So? What do we think about one of the most amazing musicals made to this day?”

“The ending” he says and pauses. “The ending what?” you ask him. “The ending was weird. Like it really made you believe that this could work but it actually was the ‘What could have been’ moment. It was kind of brutal.”

“Well, that was the intention. To show that two people had to let go of each other to achieve their dreams. It’s because they loved each other that they decided to do this. Now that I am thinking of it, it kind of is brutal, but it’s realistic. Life is brutal sometimes.”

“Do you analyze every movie that you see like this?”

“Well, yeah? That’s the point of watching a movie, it’s not looking at beautiful pictures for three hours straight and then going to sleep.”

“So you’re really passionate about it then.”

“I am yeah.”

“It’s kind of nice that you find things that you really like and are so passionate about them”

“You can also do it, you know. Being that one guy who’s obsessed with managing a team, finance and racing isn’t all you can ever be. You can have hobbies and other interests. I just think you are scared to break that flawless facade, which is funny because I genuinely believe that you are a man that is full of passion and you want to show it to people. You are afraid that if anyone outside of your safety bubble finds that you are human and not a well programmed robot that performs at its peak day in day out, your life will end. I know you try to be open about things that concern you and people around you, like how you’ve been speaking out about your mental health, but showing your real self can be hard for you but you should really try.” you tell him and he sits there just listening “How about we make this a thing? Movie night, once a week. Or more if you have more recommendations.”

“Am I about to turn you into a cinema noob?”

“Shut up.” he says and checks his watch that is resting on the arm of the couch you are currently sitting on. “How about going to sleep? We have to be at the paddock tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah sure.” you say and both of you walk off to the bedroom where you sleep until Toto’s alarm goes off. “Good Morning.” he says, his voice deeper than usual, with that sleep raspiness standing out “Hello.” you tell him and you can feel him shifting next to you“It’s race day”

“I am aware. I have a really good feeling about today.”

“Hm” he says “Do you sense a win?” he asks and he plants a kiss on your cheek. You could get used to it. “I actually do. I feel like we are going to do well.” and you can almost hear him laughing “Who’s we?” he asks you. “Mercedes?” you tell him and he laughs, content that you actually consider his team yours by now.You lay still on the bed for a few more minutes, sitting in complete silence but you can feel the two of you debating whether or not you should get off the bed. You and Toto are too lazy to do anything but like always he’s the one who takes the initiative and moves. “Come on, get yourself ready. We have to be down at the paddock in 45 minutes.”

“I don’t need 45 minutes.”

“Oh you’re sure about that?” he asks. “Positive. You can time me if you want.” you reply.“Yes?” he asks. “Yea. But I am not going to race myself to get ready without breakfast first.”

“I thought you were smart enough to figure out that we are always having breakfast at the track.” You don’t reply, you just sit and stare outside the window while Toto is using his phone. With his serious voice he says “Hey Siri, call Jasmine.” and then his phone starts dialing. It’s not after a minute that a female voice answers the phone. “Hello Jasmine, this is Toto, can I have my full breakfast order done and served in 45 minutes in my office?” he asks and waits for a few seconds. “I also want two servings of the same order, that in my office too, same time.” he says and you smile at the chat he’s having with his employee. “Also, it is really important that you find Mr Lord and let him know that I will not be available for the next 2 hours and I don’t want any distraction while I am in my office. Yes. Yes. Thank you Jasmine.” he says and he ends the call. “Now that you know breakfast is waiting, go get ready. Now.”

“Is this an order?”

“I am already counting.” he says and you run to get ready.You start running around his suite grabbing all of the things you need for race day as Toto sits on the couch scrolling on his phone while he gives you some glances. 15 minutes later you are ready to go, bag on your shoulder, shoes on. “I’m ready” you say standing and looking at him. “You are quick.” he says, still scrolling. “I am. We could go now, although you are not ready.”

“It won't take more than 5 minutes.”

“Really?” you ask “Yes. I just put my clothes on, get my iPad and my computer in my bag and I’m ready to go.”

“Oh I thought you needed time to get your face ready for cameras.”

“Nope, I’m all natural, the one who needs to get her face ready is you.”

“I didn’t do anything on my face except from washing it and applying some sunscreen. I am 100% natural today.”

“I see. Although you cannot convince me that when you were at Red Bull you took less than 35 minutes to get ready.”

“Well yeah I needed like half an hour to get my hair and make up done. I have to get camera ready every day. I was always late and Christian yelled at me so many times. Now no one sees me so it really doesn’t matter if I look like shit.”

“You don’t look like shit, you are great.” he tells you “Aw thanks.” you say and you drop your bag on the floor and sit next to Toto on the couch and give him a peck on his cheek. He turns and looks at you and kisses you right on the lips, instantly deepening the kiss laying you on the couch. You smile in that kiss and keep going, tangling your fingers on his hair, pulling him closer. He puts his hand under your waist and pulls you closer and you can already feel a burning desire. “How about we get back to bed?” he asks. “We have to go Toto” you manage to say between kisses.“I don’t want to leave.” he says. “We can miss the race to be honest.” you tell him. “Yes we can.” he tells you “But we won’t. Plus you’ve already ordered us your breakfast”

“You’re better.” he says and you scoff when you hear his words. “Oh god, behave Wolff” you tell him and you push him away teasingly. You walk away from him and he sits there, resting his head on the back of the couch trying to calm himself. “You got to get ready now”

“Okay.” he says unwillingly and stands up and starts getting ready. Half an hour later you take the walk from the hotel to the paddock which has already begun getting flooded with people. Both you and Toto take your breakfast at his office and then you follow him around in his pre race routine, from fan zones to debriefs, to interviews and finally to the grid. You spot Christian and Max many times during your time there but Toto doesn’t say anything more than a Hello to both of them. You watch Max get ready to hop in the car in front of both Lewis and George and can’t help but feel a bit of anger that he is sitting on pole. You know Mercedes’ car is fast, it’s more deserving to be in P1 than Max. You know you have to work hard to bring them in P1 and P2, because the Red Bull is not slow either, you know the car from inside out, and you know it’s capable of winning. It’s only a race’s time. When it is time you manage to greet Lewis in a flurry of cameras, fans and engineers at the grid and head back to the Mercedes garage. As you head towards the entrance of the garage you hear your (fake) name being called and you turn to see Cynthia outside the Red Bull garage as she shouts good luck to you and you yell back at her, wishing her good luck. You take your place at the fantasy island and watch the race start. Max launches off perfectly, at the right time and Lewis and George get a little left behind. As the race goes on, Max is still in front of the two Mercedes drivers, who are actually closely following him. You keep watching fully focused on the telemetry screens in front of you, and listening to the talks between team members about pace and strategy. Not long after the race start, you see both cars overtaking the Red Bull and launching off into the distance. The cars are quite quick but Max keeps following them, in DRS range. The rest of the field stays back as the two black and the one blue car fight to get the first place. As soon as it is time for strategy calls you can hear the team agreeing on a double stack for the pit stops, and so it happens, but as it is normal, double stacks can’t always be flawless. George’s stop is perfectly timed and great in duration so that the undercut will be strong enough but on the other hand, Lewis who has been really unlucky with some shitty stops has it again. The front right tire doesn’t come off as quick and the stop lasts a whooping 5.6 seconds, which makes Lewis lose a track position to Max and a whole 2 seconds to him as well. Toto gets so frustrated with the stop that he smashes the desk like he always does and the race continues. Toto is all the time on the radio with the strategists and the mechanics and as a result he has no time to talk to you. Lewis is chasing Max but failing. Max is much quicker than he is and when he does reach him he is not able to make a move on him. The race finishes with George in 1st place, Max in 2nd and Lewis in 3rd. As always Toto reaches and presses the button to congratulate George and you can see the message being broadcasted on TV. George happily replies and celebrates, thanking Toto and the team. And then Toto moves on to congratulate Lewis. Lewis is much less excited than George was. He just thanks Toto and the team and switches his radio off. You realize from the first minute of the broadcast that Lewis is kinda pissed off and disappointed.

“We won” Toto turns and tells you with a smile on his face. “Lewis is disappointed I’m sure. But yeah at least George won.” you tell him. “I know Lewis will be disappointed. We let him down today, he’s not going to be glad. He did everything he could but still the car just couldn’t work to get past Max.”. “I am really hoping he will be alright.”

“It’s Lewis, he’s always bigger than this. A title got stolen from him and he kept on going. I am sure he’s going to come out of this car, go to press and celebrate with us even though he might feel bitter about the third position.”

“Yeah, you probably know him better than I do.” you say and then Toto leaves you in the garage while he’s walking around the paddock talking to journalists, Sky Sports, F1 TV. Later on there’s indeed a celebration with the team for George’s win and Lewis’ podium and everyone gathers there. There’s the usual team picture and then the champagne celebrations which everyone tries to avoid but gets caught up to. After the whole thing winds down you find Lewis sitting outside the garage and you sit with him “Congrats for today!” you tell him trying to cheer him up “Uhh, I don’t know man, this isn’t my best result, but thanks either way.”

“Come on Lewis, you know you did the best you could, and it’s okay, I was in the garage next to Toto and right after that mistake he kept on trying and asking on how you could get past Max and even George but I guess the stars didn’t align for you today but for George.”

“I guess you’re right. I feel like I am overreacting but you know I have to keep my head up, nothing comes out of complaining.” Lewis says. “You just somehow became your own therapist and you overcame the whole thing in like 5 minutes. I hate you.” you tell him laughing. “I’ll teach you how to do it, it seems like you will need it when you leave us.” he says reminding you of your situation in Red Bull. “Definitely” you tell him and you sit there in silence for a while until Toto comes by you. “We’ve got to get going, we only got one and a half hour before the jet leaves”.

“You’re leaving now?” Lewis asks and Toto nods but some mechanic comes to talk to him

“Will Roscoe be joining us?” you ask. “About that, I will be flying with Valtteri and will drop him to Nice before flying to NYC. I was thinking about spending a little more time with Roscoe before dropping him off to you. Is it okay if Valtteri drops him by your place later on?”

“Oh no problem, give him my number so that he can text me once you are in Nice.”

“Great!”

“Lewis I really gotta get going, I have to pack my things back at the hotel before leaving.”

“Of course. I’ll see you in Miami. Take good care of Roscoe.”

“I will” you tell him and you wave him goodbye. After that you leave the track alone since Toto is still busy at the track. You go back to your suite and pack your things and with 45 minutes still left you take your phone and ring Toto. “Are you in your room?” you ask. “No, still at the track.” he says and you reply slightly surprised “Wait, what are you still doing on track?”

“I am having a discussion with Stefano about technical directives and he can’t stop talking.”

“Are you sure you’re going to make it? Are your stuff packed?”

“No they are not, I thought I would have enough time to do it now but he thinks we are having a meeting.”

“Why don’t you tell him that you have to catch your flight?”

“Because he will propose that we fly together” he answers “I keep checking my watch but he doesn’t get the message”

“Oh then try to get out of this discussion asap.”

“Will do. See you in a while” he says and he hangs up. You check your bag and you find Toto’s suite card so you decide to go to his suite and pack his suitcase. You take everything off the closet and start folding them and placing them in his carry on, take his shoes as well as his stuff from the bathroom and place them in the suitcase. Lastly you take all of the chargers and laptops and stuff them into his bag. You take a seat on his couch now both of your suitcases fully packed and ready to go but he’s nowhere to be found. 20 minutes before the time that you have to be in the airport your phone rings and his name pops up on the screen. You accept the call. “Hey” you say. You “We are not going to make it on time. I only just got to the hotel.” he says and you hear footsteps outside his door. “And? We still have 20 minutes.”

“Everything is unpacked. We are going to be late.” he replies and the door opens. He sees you sitting on the couch and ends the call. He walks in the hallway with a confused expression“What are you doing here?” he says and you point at the suitcase and bag left in the middle of the living room area. “I packed.” you tell him and you smile. At this very moment you see a very anxious but happy Toto walking towards you and placing a kiss on your head. “Thank you” he says. “I had time to kill, a spare key card and I figured you might be late so I thought why not. I hope that I packed them in the right way. Oh and make sure that I got everything.”

“It’s perfect, thanks.” he says and he takes a look around the suite, looking for things he might have forgotten. Five minutes later you are ready to go, you leave the hotel, you drive to the airport and get there 10 minutes late but still the jet is ready to go. You board, take the seat opposite to Toto and get as comfortable as you can, he takes a book out of his bag and places it on the table in front of you. You take off from Baku and you start feeling slightly worn out. “Sleepy?” he asks. “Is that so obvious?”

“Yes.”

“It’s just that races wear me out so much. In Red Bull it was easier but now I literally spent twice as much energy because of the whole hiding thing.”

“I get what you mean, I can’t get through it without a cup or two of coffee”

“It is funny because the race is during the afternoon but it still drains me”

“You should sleep.” he tells you. “I won’t.” you tell him and he hums “So, tell me about the technical directives you were discussing with Stefano.” Toto starts explaining what he and Domenicalli were discussing along with some other team principals and you try really hard to follow what he was telling you. You were asking him questions but you felt your eyes burning “I will just close my eyes because they hurt but I will keep listening.” you tell him. “Sure” he says and he laughs. “Hey, I won’t sleep.” and he teases you “I bet you won’t.”. You close your eyes and you follow Toto’s voice, keep asking him questions and discussing until you are less and less conscious and fall completely asleep. Almost 4 hours after, you wake up, feeling the plane descending into lower altitudes. You feel surprisingly warm and open your eyes only to see Toto’s jacket all over you. You slept through the whole flight. You move slightly and Toto, who is sitting just opposite to you reading his book lifts his eyes from the book to you.“Glad to see you didn’t sleep.” he tells you “Hey, don’t make fun of me!”

“I love it when you know you are not right and still try to convince others that you are.” You roll your eyes at his comment and take a look outside the window. “Where are we?”

“Almost in Nice, we will be landing in 20”

“Cool. I can’t wait to sleep in my bed.”

“You’re not coming over?”

“No, I’ve had enough of you during the past days.”

“Right.”

“How’s your book?” you ask. “It is good.” Toto says

“I’ll read it after you.”

“I’ll be happy to lend it to you.”

“Oh and if I like it I will need access to that Wolff Reading List.”

“I don’t have a reading list.”

“Oh god what?”

“It is not a competition Horner, I read for my pleasure.”

“So do I but I have a reading list. I read reviews and I sometimes write them anonymously.”

“Well, I don’t give a shit about reviews, I read the synopsis and if I find it interesting I read it. I am sure some of my favorite books have the shittiest reviews but I don’t care.” he says. “Wow, you are stronger than I am. If a review isn’t good I won’t even start the book.”

“That’s some of the shit people of your generation do”

“Oh yes I keep forgetting that you are a boomer.” you joke “We are not going to discuss this again.” he says in a strict tone “Okay sir.” you mock him. “Fuck off, go back to sleep.” he says and he turns back to his book. “Thanks for the blanket by the way.” you say but he gives you no answer and you laugh. “Are you going to drive me back to Monaco?” you ask. “No you should call Marc” he says. “I hate you Wolff.” you tell him. “I hate you too.” he laughs. A short time after you land in Nice and contrary to what he said earlier, Toto orders for all of your baggage to be loaded to his car. You take the drive back to Monaco while discussing paddock gossip which Toto repeats isn’t a thing he does but he happily participates in the whole discourse. Half an hour later you arrive at home, Toto parks the car in the garage and you get your bags out of the car and take the lift to your apartment. You hug him goodbye and go to your apartment where you instantly unpack and get comfortable and sit in your bedroom where you binge watch gossip girl until it is late enough and Valtteri is calling you to drop Roscoe off. You text him your details and 5 minutes later he’s knocking your door. “Hi Valtteri.” you greet him. “Hi” he says shyly, holding Roscoe’s leash on his one hand and a bag with Roscoe’s food and toys

“Lewis told me to drop those off. Including Roscoe.”

“I will be taking care of him while Lewis is in New York For the Met Gala.”

“Oh yeah, I would take care of him but Tif and I have to go to a bike competition in France”

“Don’t worry, I will take care of him instead. Good to see you, did you have a nice flight?”

“Yes, it was pretty decent, you know how it is when traveling in private.”

“Yeah definitely.” you tell him. “We missed you in F1, when are you coming back?” he says and for a moment you freeze before you register that you supposingly weren’t in Baku this weekend. “I missed you guys too. I don’t know when I am coming back yet, I am still adapting to my new life here in Monaco.”

“You are right, we will be happy to see you back.”

“Thank you for dropping Roscoe off for me”

“You’re welcome.”

“Good luck for your competition.”

“Thanks, goodnight!” Valtteri says and leaves you with Roscoe.

Roscoe gets in and moves around the apartment trying to get used to it. You play a bit with him but at some point you are too tired and get to bed where Roscoe joins you and curls next to your feet and falls asleep. You do the same for the night. The next day you wake up in your new home, register the fact that now you have to take care of Roscoe. You take him out for his morning walk and you go back home where you decide to text Sara once again.

You

I am back in Monaco. Are you up for some coffee?

Sara

Oh welcome back! Of course I am up for coffee. Your place or mine?

You

Cafe de Paris in an hour?

Sara

Omg sounds perfect. Gotta go get ready.

You

I will be bringing Roscoe over too

Sara

God I love this dog. Of course bring him over, the dog is a socialite

You shut your phone and start getting ready, dressing up appropriately for the Cafe de Paris. You feed Roscoe and get him ready and after an hour you are sitting in Cafe de Paris with Sara. You both enjoy your drinks while the bulldog is sitting by your side and you keep gossiping about people you know. Sara spills her work gossip and you keep discussing different bullshit. Time goes by and both of you get hungry so you propose cooking dinner at your place. You and Sara get back home and you start cooking a risotto while she drinks wine and you tell her all the paddock gossip. “So turns out Christian hired that bitch who was hooking up with Toto.”

“He did what?”

“Yeah, he hired her during my first week off the team.”

“Oh my gosh. I might sound a bit harsh but don’t you think that your dad is a bit problematic?” Sara asks “I’ve been thinking that since I officially joined the team, S. I just don’t understand his logic” you say and you hear your phone ringing. When you check you see Christian’s face popping up.“Speak of the devil”.

“Hey dad” you say

“What are you doing?”

“I’m good you?”

“No, I mean, what are you doing outside with Hamilton’s dog?”

“Oh Roscoe? Lewis is flying to the Met Gala and he wants someone to take care of his dog.”

“And you suddenly became best friends with Hamilton that he trusts you with his dog? You have the audacity to walk him in Monaco’s most crowded places? There are pictures all over the internet.”

“I think you are overreacting.” you tell him

“How did the dog end up in your hands? Were you in Baku yesterday?”

“What the fuck dad? I was in Monaco, I had Valtteri drop him off.”

“Are you teaming up with them? Do you think it’s going to make me change my mind and take you back?”

“Look, I have a risotto cooking up on my stove and I do not plan on burning this place down, so let me get it straight for you. I am just taking care of a dog that for some reason triggers you in a way that nothing ever has. I am doing a favor to a friend. Nothing to piss you off. I don’t know why you think everyone is constantly plotting against you but the reality is that we are not. Take a chill pill and get used to seeing pictures of me with Roscoe until Lewis takes him back. And for fuck’s shake, let me live my life.” you say and you turn off the call. “What was that about?” Sara asks. “There are pictures of us and Roscoe from today and Christian was pissed because of a freaking dog.”

“Oh then you were right to speak to him like that”

“Thanks” you say. As soon as the food is ready you and Sara enjoy your lunch at your balcony with a sea view and after a couple of hours she leaves you alone. You clean up the kitchen, do the dishes and get changed to a tracksuit and a pair of sneakers for Roscoe’s night walk. You enjoy a walk along the coast of Monte Carlo and later on you come back to your building. To your surprise you see Toto just outside, dressed in a suit while waiting for his car. “Hi” you tell him. “Hello. Out for a walk I see?” he asks. “Yes, Roscoe needed his night walk.” you say as Roscoe approaches him. Toto instantly takes two steps backwards looking at the bulldog “Where are you off to?” you ask. “I’m going to a business meeting.” you are interested about his day “With a sponsor ?” and he replies giving you all the information you ask for “No, it’s for one of my finance jobs.”

“I see.” you say and you spot someone with a phone pointing to you two “We are being videotaped”

“It’s been a while since we’ve last seen you in the paddock miss Horner” he says “Oh yeah, I’ve been having some time off that’s why.”

“I’ve heard the rumors, met your substitute as well. When do you think you’re coming back ?”

“I haven’t decided yet, I am still recharging to be honest.”

“Good thing to do. Take your time”

“Thank you Mr. Wolff, take care.” you tell him and leave him to go back to your apartment. You take Roscoe off his leash and he slowly walks to his bed where he falls asleep. You lay on your couch and check your socials. It’s the first Monday of May and your timelines have already been flooded with Met Gala content, from the setting of the red carpet to some of the celebrities and acquaintances getting ready for the event. You promised Lewis that you will stay awake to see him on the red carpet and for this reason you decide to take a nap. It’s not that late but since you have to wait for Lewis until later that night you chose to kill some time this way so you drift off to a sweet nap. In the middle of your sleep you hear the doorbell ringing and you walk half asleep to the door where you check through the peephole to see who it is and you see the one tall austrian outside your door dressed with the same clothes as earlier. You open the door and you let him in.“What are you doing here?” you tell him, voice sounding a bit hoarse so Toto gets the hint. “Have you been sleeping? Did I wake you up?” he asks a little worried, “Ummm, you kinda did” you tell him, “Oh sorry, I should go then, let you rest.”

“I was going to wake up anyway. I promised Lewis I will watch him on the red carpet today.” you tell him and he asks “What is it today?”. You laugh with his ignorance “Oh god we are never going to get an invite if you keep asking those questions.”

“Why do we need an invitation for this?”

“It’s one of the most exciting nights of the year Toto, the Met Gala, every relatable celebrity dresses up in custom designer pieces that match to a theme and they have a dinner or something.”

“Prom for rich people?”

“Kinda. I am surprised you aren’t aware of it, since Lewis has been going during the past 3-4 years if I’m not mistaken.”

“Pop culture isn’t my thing.” he says while he takes off his jacket and hangs it on a chair nearby. “I can see it” you reply. Toto joins you on the couch, he sits on the side, takes off his shoes and unbuttons the top button of his shirt. You grab your computer and sit close to him. You open the TV and you play the Vogue Livestream of the event while Toto sits bored next to you switching his gaze from the television to the ceiling, to your laptop, to you and then back to the television. As you are watching the event, Toto stands up and takes a look at your bookshelf and he picks a book which he starts reading while you are too busy waiting for Lewis. Toto speed reads the book as you text Lewis asking him to let you know when he will be joining the red carpet. At some point you distinctively hear Roscoe’s paws on the floor as he runs to the living room. He sits just below your feet which you have laid on the coffee table while Toto is laying on the long side of the couch. Roscoe takes a look at you and then at Toto, both of you too far absorbed to be paying attention to him and for this reason the poor dog decides to make you pay attention to him. Roscoe starts barking and in a fraction of a second, Toto slams his book close and starts backing up and climbing on the back of the couch. When you notice him you burst out laughing. You should have been aware that Toto is afraid of Roscoe, that’s why he was skeptical about having the dog in the same place as him during a transatlantic flight. It seems so hilarious to you that a grown ass man such as Toto is afraid of an old bulldog, mainly because Toto is who he is. The intimidating boss, the scary rival. You immediately grab your phone and start recording. “Lewis, I know you’re in line for the red carpet and you probably won’t see this until tomorrow but you have to see this.” you say as you record yourself and then turn the rear camera on. “I don’t know if you are aware of it but it seems like Mr. Wolff here is afraid of your dog.” you say as you see Toto on the back of the couch and Roscoe staring at him. “Hey! It’s not funny, please get him to leave!” he says and just as he completes his sentence Roscoe continues barking at him, Toto’s expression is essentially pure panic at this point but you continue laughing. You know Roscoe just wants to play with him but he is not very much aware of it. “Please just stop recording and get him out of here” he says again, you are still recording. “He’s not going to hurt you” you tell him, “You don’t know it” Toto replies. “Okay Lew, I have to take care of this, we are still waiting for you here” you say and you show the Vogue Livestream on your TV “Have fun!” you say and you stop recording, sending the video to Lewis. After that you leave your phone down, you grab Roscoe and bring him by your side, far from Toto, who seems like he lost 5 years of his life. The dog lays on the couch as you rub his belly and he seems happy. “See, that’s what he wanted. Just a bit of attention and love.” you tell him “Well, if he wanted that he shouldn't have barked at me. I was scared to death”

“Toto Wolff is afraid of dogs.” you say “I am. You cannot imagine how many times I’ve managed to avoid any interaction with this dog during the past 8 years.”

“I was just wondering how Lewis didn’t have any idea of this.”

“Oh, did you send the video? Did I make a fool of myself on Lewis as well?”

“No, that’s not making a fool of yourself, that’s adorable”

“Until Lewis posts it on his socials”

“He won’t” you say

“You don’t know Lewis, he loves making fun of me every chance he gets”

“I mean sometimes you’re hilarious so he’s right, you shouldn’t be angry.” you tell him

“Most of the time I’m not actually angry, I am just acting like I am to make him feel bad”

“You are crazy” you tell him and you turn to catch a glimpse of the screen when you see Lewis coming up the red carpet. “Oh there he goes!” you say and Toto turns his attention to the screen and so does Roscoe once he realizes that his dad is on the tv. “That’s a daring outfit.” Toto comments as he watches Lewis posing on the red carpet. “Oh you suddenly have an opinion on fashion?”

“Why shouldn’t I? You think you’re the only one with a fashion sense?”

“Darling, at least I have more than 3 outfits in my wardrobe” you tell him and he rolls his eyes. He knows you’re right but he still focuses on the television. You see Roscoe staring at the screen and you snap a photo which you post on your instagram stories right after lewis leaves the red carpet. “Did we just sit here to watch Lewis pose on the red carpet for 3 minutes?”

“No, I am hoping he will be back for an interview shortly after.” you say and he nods, going back to the last page of the book he was reading and 5 minutes later Lewis comes on the screen again and both of you watch the interview ss

“You’re an expert on this aren’t you?” he asks “I have been watching for the past 10 years, Toto. Plus, they do love Lewis a lot, it was almost certain that they would give him the interview.”

“They do seem to have a preference for Lewis though.” he says

“The truth is, as much as Max is supposedly my friend, he’s not that relevant out of our little world.”

“How can you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Hang out with him”

“Look, he isn’t as much of a dick as he seems, he’s actually a pretty decent company and he’s a kind soul but only if you are close to him and that’s why he comes off as an asshole to everyone else.” you say and you yawn. “Sleepy?” he asks

“Yeah, I am starting to get tired. Are you going to stay?”

“I would but Roscoe will be here.”

“He can sleep in the guest room, please stay?”

“I will, although I have a meeting tomorrow morning. I’ll just wake up early.”

“Okay” you tell him and you stand up taking Roscoe in your arms “Wanna pet him?” you ask. “Only because you’re holding him” he says as he pets Roscoe who’s now sleepy. You leave your living room and head towards the guest room where you leave the dog, closing the door behind you. By the time you are out the door you see that the living room is already empty and you head to your room where Toto is already laying in your bed. You change into your pajamas and climb in your bed where you fall asleep. The next day you wake up and as Toto said, he has already left for his meeting. You check your phone and you see several texts, the first one from Toto reads a simple Text me when you wake up. The second one is from Marc, saying Parties ahead of the Cannes film festival are just starting, thought it would be nice for us to be seen together, to silence people about our whereabouts. Only as friends though. Accommodation in my yacht. Tristan will be here, bring Sara as well. RSVP. You give it a thought, thinking about how Christian made a scene about Roscoe, and how he asked you where you were. You text Toto first, to make sure it won’t be a problem.

Woke up just fine although i would have liked you to be here and not in that stupid meeting of yours. Also, Marc just sent me an invitation about a party tomorrow and I think maybe I should go, do some pr job, give people something to talk about

Toto

You should go just don’t get too wild

You

I won’t,besides Sara will be probably coming as well.But the thing is it will be in Cannes, but I’ll make sure to be back to Nice on time for the flight

Toto

No problem

You leave your phone on dnd and continue your tasks for the day, doing some light cleaning on your apartment when the doorbell rings. You open the door and you find a donut and a cup left on your doormat, the cup has a note on "Sorry for not being here for breakfast, consider this as my not so homemade breakfast." You smile and shut the door, immediately texting Sara, inviting her over for coffee and gossip. Once she comes over you share the news on the party for which she agrees immediately and she proposes a shopping spree for the party. You agree with her and shortly after you are off to the shops where you try on different outfits, occasionally texting Toto for his opinion on some of the outfits. At the end of the day, Sara ends up with 4 or 5 bags from the shops and you buy one simple black dress from Sandro to wear for the event. You grab a drink at the Blue Gin and you head back home where you pack your bags both for the party at Cannes and for the trip to Miami. Before you get back to bed you receive a text from Marc.

Marc Taylor

I will be waiting for you tomorrow morning for our trip to Cannes

You

Where will we find you?

Marc Taylor

At the marina, we will be using my yacht obviously

You

We will be there @ 10:30. Should we bring coffee?

Marc Taylor

We have a barista on board. Just get your bags.

The next day you wake up, dressing up with a maxi sundress suitable for the yacht trip. You later meet Sara and her driver drops you off at the Monaco marina, right outside Marc’s yacht. You get on board as members of Marc’s staff get your bags on the yacht and into your rooms. You follow Marc straight ahead and join him and Tristan on the deck. You can see people with cameras taking pictures of you from the marina and you play along. You do want paparazzi to see where you are and who you are with, you are confident that they will be running the story before the party today. You greet Tristan and walk the deck, taking the sun in and gazing into the mediterranean. Sara snaps some pictures of you and then the yacht leaves Monaco and sails to Cannes. “What time does the party start?” you ask,"At 8 I believe.” Tristan replies, “We have to start getting ready as soon as we arrive there” Sara tells you

“We will arrive in Cannes in an hour, you will be needing 6 hours to get ready?”

“Haven’t you met Horner? She takes at least two hours to get ready for a day at the paddock, you think she will be getting ready in sooner than 5 hours for a party in Cannes?” Sara answers and you laugh. As you sail to Cannes, the four of you sit on the deck sipping champagne and gossiping about old acquaintances of yours until one hour later you arrive and you dock at the marina. Tristan and Marc go out for a walk and you and Sara stay on board to relax and get settled to your rooms. You leave Sara in her cabin and you relax outside on the deck. You snap a photo and post it on your stories and then start reading your book until you start getting ready, while listening to music. Tristan and Marc come an hour later and Tristan waves at you. You take your headphones off. “There’s someone that has a package for you outside”

“What package?”

“It’s an order from a fashion brand I think. They said you made the order from Monaco and sent it here”

“Oh yeah that” you say “Marc can you please get this for me?”

“Of course” Marc replies and leaves you behind with Tristan. “What are you reading?” he asks, “The Goldfinch” you tell him.

“Oh I heard it’s nice.”

“It is really good, I’ll give it to you when I finish it”

“Great! Um, by the way, have you seen Sara?”

“She’s in her cabin, probably planning today’s look. She doesn’t wake up looking as good as you see her.”

“Bet she looks even better when she wakes up” Tristan says and you burst out laughing.“You really like her don’t you?” you ask

“I do. Not as much as Marc likes you though.”

“Tristan, Marc and I have already discussed this.”

“You know he’s still trying though” he tells you but he stops talking as he sees Marc coming up to the yacht. “This is your package Miss.” says Marc and kneels in front of you showing you the box.“Thank you mr. Taylor” you tell him “I gotta go try it on and plan my look for today, see ya later losers.”. You walk away from Marc and Tristan and into your cabin where you untie the black bow on top of the box and open it to reveal a green silk dress and in the box, a black handwritten card, a handwriting you recognize."Yesterday night I was watching Succession, saw this dress on Shiv and thought it would look nice on you. Bis Bald.". You smile in disbelief and try the dress on and you manage to fish out your emerald Manolo shoes which perfectly fit the color of the dress. You decide to wear this to the party instead of your new bought Sandro dress and you undress since lunch is about to be served. After your meal you return to your room, and start getting ready. You take a shower, use a face mask and then fix your hair in a low bun chignon. You apply some light makeup and some jewelry for the party. When you get out of your cabin you see Marc and Tristan in their party suits. “Wow Horner” says Tristan but Marc just sits there staring at you. “We should try to snap some pictures until Sara is ready” he says again and pushes both you and Marc at the front of the yacht where he takes pictures of you both with your phone and your polaroid camera but his phone rings so Marc becomes your photographer for the moment. “You look stunning, the color is amazing.”

“Thanks” you say and you keep posing.

When the whole photoshoot is done you check your pictures and decide to post one of them on your story but first you want to check that everything is okay from Toto’s side

You

[Sent 2 photos]

Your wish is my command. The dress is perfect. Tristan and Marc were stunned

Wolff

I knew as soon as I saw it that it would be a perfect fit. Glad they liked it. Hope Marc keeps his hands to himself though

You

He will! About that, is it okay if I post the picture of me and him ?

Wolff

Everyone is going to talk about you two being a couple so why not feed the story to them? It’s okay by me after all ,at the end of the day only I know that you will be sleeping in my bed for the weekend

20 minutes later Tristan is already yelling at Sara to hurry up and when she does show up at the deck she sees you and stares at you. “Horner!????? What are you wearing?” she asks “You look stunning but bestie this wasn’t the plan was it?” You approach her and you whisper to her ear “It was a surprise gift I couldn’t say no to”. She scoffs. “And he won’t even bring me flowers” she says as she points at Tristan. A couple of photos later the four of you are off to the party. At the party there are a lot more photos, dancing, drinking, mingling and socializing. Everyone is enjoying the wonderful night including Sara, Marc and Tristan. You get lost in a discussion with some movie producer who happens to be at the party and at some point you see Marc approaching you along with a blonde woman, which you happen to know. “Horner!” Marc says as you greet the producer “Marc, I lost you an hour ago, where were you?”

“With this badass. I am not sure you’ve two met but, this is Francesca Scorcese”

“Taylor, I’ve met Horner before. You always forget nepo babies always know each other”

“Absolutely” you say “What have you been up to since I last saw you?” you ask. The three of you start discussing and later on partying. Late at night the party starts drifting off and your quartet returns happily to the yacht. You gather all the pictures from today, making sure there’s enough you and Marc on them so that people will start believing that you are in a relationship. You post them on your instagram captioning them as “What were your favorite nepo babies up to ?” and you shut your phone before falling asleep. The next morning you wake up and make sure everything is packed. Sara’s sister who happens to have a job in Nice and was taking care of Roscoe in the meantime comes and picks you up from Cannes and drives you to the airport where you finally meet Toto. “Morning!” you tell him and give him a little hug. You are already in incognito mode so you’re making sure no one is watching you. “Hello. How was your party night?”

“We had a lot of fun actually. You know how our events are? Not even close to that”

“At least on those events we get to be at the same place.”

“But as long as I can remember the only thing we’ve managed to do was fight” you tell him “Thanks for the dress again. Everyone was impressed”

“That is for you telling me that I don’t have any fashion sense.” he teases you “Mr Wolff, it is time to board.” the lady at the gate says. You take your stuff, carrying Roscoe in his cage as well and you board the jet. You get comfortable and get Roscoe out of his cage but you hold him on your lap, making sure that he won’t get close to Toto. The plane takes off and you drift off to sleep as the lack of sleep from your party night becomes apparent. After 3 hours you open your eyes and look out the window as you are flying mid Atlantic. It takes a minute before you realize that Roscoe isn’t on your lap anymore and you take a glance around you and you see the bulldog sleeping on Toto’s lap. You laugh at the sight, thinking how some days before Toto was afraid to death and how now he peacefully sleeps with him. You snap two or three photos and send one of them to Lewis.

You

[Photo]

Character growth! We are on our way to Miami. See you there

Lewis Hamilton

That is insane. Ah man, can’t wait to tease Toto for all of this. Thanks for the content, Horner. See you at the track!

Shortly after you drift back to sleep and you only wake up when you feel the ground below you shaking. You open your eyes and look out of the window again to see the airport of Miami. You don’t register that you have finally arrived until you hear “Miss Horner, Mister Wolff, Welcome to Miami”. Toto looks around and tells you “Let’s see what this race week brings us” and you nod, mentally preparing yourself for another week at the F1 circus.

#f1 #toto wolff #formula 1 #all's fair fic #toto wolff x reader

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dairymistress05 · 7 months ago

Text

Colin: A Search For Purpose in the Wrong Places

Colin Bridgerton is both handsome and charming so why is he often grasping for his place in the world?

From the beginning there is a common thread of insecurity attached to Colins character. He seems to struggle to know exactly where he fits, to find his purpose.

So where do these insecurities come from? Well to start, he is sort of the “forgotten middle child” in a way, he is the 3rd son after which are 2 daughters. While he and Daphne seem close, as they were close as young children, now that they are older Daphne is having her debut and becoming a woman in society. All while Colin is also there but there’s no significance for him becoming an adult. Daphne is often treated like a first child as she is the first girl after 3 boys and the first to debut in the marriage mart.

First he tries to find his place in becoming a husband, in parallel to Daphne. It’s possible he feels unseen while she is emerging into adulthood. He doesn’t know where he fits but if he vows to take care of someone, he will fit in, right?!

He is intrigued and infatuated with and Wants to “rescue” Miss Thompson from her older admirers and be her saviour, this is all before he knows about her “condition”. AND when he finds out he only wishes that she had been truthful with him. “You wish to know the cruelest part of your deception? If you had simply come to me and told me of your situation, I would have married you without a second thought. That is how In Love I believe myself to be. But I see now that was all a lie.” Read — Fixer! He wants to be the Hero, to be needed.

Following this betrayal Colin is once again set adrift and begins his travels. He has also sworn off women, as he later admits to Pen and is attempting to know himself better. This interaction is very telling to his feelings towards Pen because she says “I am a woman” to which he responds with “You are Pen, you are my friend, you do not count”. — yes this seems to some as not regarding her as worthy — but actually this hints at something else entirely. It’s an effort to separate her because in his recent context “a woman” lied to him and betrayed him and Pen would surely never do to him what Marina did.

At this point it is extremely telling that Colin is beginning to find his true self. However, part of that self is directly intertwined with his connection to Pen. “If Penelope can see me this way, then surely I can too”. She is arguably his most valued and influential female relationship outside of his family. Colin here is struggling to understand himself and his place in society and to contextualise what Pen means to him. All of this at a time in his life when he is struggling to keep afloat.

He visits Marina he seems awkward and is once again reminded of his “out of placeness”. He makes an adorable olive joke (He is such a dork!) and nerds out about plants with Sir Philip. He is more interested in their conversation than he was with anything he was talking to Marina about. Furthermore, while visiting he seems surprised and almost disappointed that Marina is well. Like what did you think was going to happen? You were you going to save her from her life? Babies and all? Honestly, Marina isn’t wrong when she calls him “a boy caught up in his own fantasies.”

His visit with Marian was a wake up call hut he is still left without the purpose he was seeking.

“After all, everyone else is finding some purpose to their lives…and here I am feeding the ducks.” This leads him to his interaction with Jack and culminates in his “saving” the Featherington ladies which leaves him feeling like a hero.

In all his following interactions with Pen in the second part seem to hint at his feelings, (whether he knows it himself or not) he loves her.

“…Our relationship has taken shape so naturally over the years, one could take it for granted. (Hint at season 3)

You have been so constant and loyal Pen”. And his “Lady Crane was right about you…” He very clearly doesn’t understand his friendship with her but it is important to him.

Outside of his family, Colin doesn’t seem to have strong relationships. This becomes even more apparent when he is spending time with his “society buds”. All along while he seems to be able to navigate society with ease, he has often always been on the fringes and his relationship with those guys just exaggerates this fact. One comment made at Lady Danbury‘s ball saying “you are much much more fun this season”. It’s unclear clear if Colin ever really socialised with the “society buds” prior to the end of season 2 much at all. He likely didn’t though, because had he spent much time with them in season 1, he wouldn’t have jumped into proposing to Marina so quickly. So his comment about “never dream of courting Penelope Featherington”, a misguided last ditch effort at fitting in? Maybe!

It is Colin going away again, only for Pen not answer his letters this time that helps to highlight his feelings of isolation. Imagine, writing to the one person you most want to feel connected yo and getting nothing in return, heartbreaking. It’s not a wonder he “puts on armour”. When Penelope was answering his letters, he held onto the pieces of himself that she most appreciated. When she wasn’t answering his letters, he lost himself trying to find his identity apart from her. This resulted in him trying on a persona that no one recognised. When she tells him it’s been vexing to see him back into society if you watch his face in that moment, it’s almost like she slapped him and you can see his facade cracking for a second before he offers to help her.

Each time he was home, regardless of feeling without a purpose, he was constantly finding comfort in Pen. We see it in the way he goes to her “like a moth to a flame” at every possible opportunity. Colin has always been at ease when speaking with Pen. He appreciates her humour, he enjoys her mind and tries to make her laugh. There is even an example of this in season 2 where philosophising and Eloise is like do not encourage him (but not only does Pen enjoy encouraging him because they match wits very well) Colin also genuinely seems to be hanging on her every word. Until he was no longer afforded those words.

Finally it was those very words that led him to realise that he didn’t need to be useful in order to be loved. That by being truly himself, He. Was. Enough. All this time she had always loved him AND he had loved her, he just didn’t see it. Colin found that seeing himself the way that Pen had always seen him was how to find where he belonged.

In this way, he found his purpose. It was to love assuredly, fervently, loudly. That true love is Not about being needed, but about being Chosen by his best friend, the only one who truly saw him and loved him exactly as he always had been.

#bridgerton #polin #bridgerton season 3 #romancing mister bridgerton #luke newton #nicola coughlan #penelope x colin #colin x penelope #colin bridgerton #penelope bridgerton

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cocogum · 9 days ago

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What if Armand had survived the war?

Imagining a timeline where Armand didn't die from Rotalström and wins the war actually changes the ENTIRE course of the story! And a lot of it has to do with Yugo and Amalia.

For Amalia, she never becomes queen and has fewer responsibilities. She'll get to marry Yugo, as intended, but will completely devote herself to Yugo's own people. Unlike in the Great Wave manga, Amalia will be the one to support Yugo. She'll help him with any political issues with the other kingdoms because my poor chef guy obviously doesn't have any experience on that particular field.

And as for Yugo, seeing as how it's very unlikely that Armand would let his people live in his kingdom, he'll thank Yugo instead and leave the eliatropes alone for proving their bravery and almost sacrificing their lives for them. Having Armand, the Sadida king, acknowledge Yugo means that Yugo will at least have one kingdom ally by his side.

Armand isn't easily persuaded by Aurora and her father when it comes to making decisions. We've seen Armand not listening to them on three accounts.

1) When Armand spoke back to the Osamodas king, for being told that his men were weak.

2) When Aurora told him not to speak out of line towards her father.

3) When Armand told the Osamodas king to listen to his younger sister and bring his own men to the war.

So it's safe to say, Armand will always keep a strong head around them and keep ruling without the need for them (or you know he can simply just...divorce Aurora like any guy who suspects his woman is acting sus).

Since Yugo won't be able to stay in the Sadida Kingdom, he'll have to leave with Adamaï and the elite eliatropes. Amalia will follow him as well, and the group could simply be moving around together with the help of Adamaï's dragonic form. I'm guessing his full body is big enough to take everyone on his back since there are only 34 eliatropes based on this shot alone.

So since Adamaï will be able to do just that, the eliatropes under the care of Yugo and Amalia will be turned into nomades. They will always move from island to island, from city to city, from town to town, from village to village, and many more.

It will actually be a good way of living for them. In a way, Qilby was right when he said that eliatropes were far better at moving around than staying in one place. And Yugo would've realized this, so he'll just keep doing what he does best with his people. Amalia will also come to love it. She will miss the Sadida Kingdom from time to time, especially when she doesn't know how Armand is doing and what his "wife" is up to, but she knows she'll have nothing to worry about since her brother can take care of himself.

With the new alliance Yugo and Armand will share, Yugo will always respond to Armand whenever the Tree of Life is in danger or if there's an impossible chance that Rotalström wakes up. The six eliatrope dofus have been stored within Yugo, while Lokus roams around him only to be used for emergencies. Amalia will only come to keep loving her place with Yugo and will accept her role as queen of the eliatropes. The eliatropes, on the other hand, will respect her and treat her as their own just like they already did when the necrome war was happening.

Yugo and his followers will move around the world and help as many people as they can, like how Yugo did back in seasons 1-2. His help around the world will once again be recognized but with the new notion that he's the eliatrope king and has been leading his people to help others. He'll try to regain the respect he rightfully deserves. And with the help of Amalia, he'll be able to know how to behave in political situations since she'll play a big role in those for him (like the girl boss we know she is). Yugo will also get to learn his own culture with Adamaï thanks to their people's knowledge on the matter. Without Qilby, their mother, Nora, and Efrim, the two brothers will have to rely on what the elite eliatropes have learned from Balthazar. They'll come to have a clearer picture of who they are as the eliatrope race. Amalia will learn about all of it as well. She'll also get to talk happily about her own culture to them whenever they ask her about it, which they do in their free time.

So yeah, this is my take on it.

Like I said, if Armand hadn't died, things would've been far more different for the Sadida Kingdom, Yugo, Amalia, Adamaï, and of course, Armand.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not implying that I would have preferred if Armand hadn't died. I have no bias on whether he dies or not. It can sometimes be nice to see what could happen if one significant moment had been played around with just to see how much it would greatly change the next course of events.

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loveemagicpeace · 1 year ago

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🍸💘Libra Season⭐️🌸

🩷Libra is all about relationships. In Libra season, we learn how to find balance within ourselves, our environment, and our relationships. This intellectual air sign helps us grasp the concept of diplomacy, teaching us how to find compromise. Throughout this Libra season, ask yourself: Am I truly listening? Can I communicate without putting the other person on the defensive? What area of my life could benefit from more balance? Libra season is an excellent time to create balance in your life or start a new partnership. Begin more moderate habits. As a Libra you are diplomatic, charming, amiable, intelligent, fair, balanced, elegant, and polite. Let the Libra season help you to expand these natural gifts.

🌙On September 29 will be a full Moon in Aries. Full Moon in Aries always proves to be an exciting one and an opportunity to feel our life’s mission and then decide how to pursue it. It has the power to teach us about our soul’s purpose and how to pursue it while living in the world with other people—each of whom has their own soul’s purpose. This Moon can help you understand your journey more deeply. The full moon in Aries marks the time when you attempt to create true balance. Aries, is all about your relationship with yourself. Aries energy can help you be very decisive and clear about what you need.

✨Sep 30 — Mercury in Virgo trine Uranus in Taurus. This aspect suggests an easy opportunity to harmonize technology or specialized information within daily life. Access to new ideas or technology should be easily grasped and immediately integrated. Sun trine Pluto- this brings intense and profound experiences. Whatever you are interested in now, you will be driven to research and investigate the inner workings to gain a complete understanding of the topic. Moon trine Venus-you will feel like you are in your element and flowing with the tides of life. Moon trine Saturn-You can rely on strong instincts and common sense to make important decisions about your home, family, and relationships.

🥂On 1 October will be Moon in Taurus Conjunct Jupiter in Taurus. Energy can be expansive, and you can focus on pursuing new opportunities and having new experiences. It is always a stable time to think about the things that mean a lot to you and what is valuable to you.

🤘🏽On 2 October- mercury opposite neptune-it can be a more confusing day, and communication can be misunderstanding. This can be great for the imagination, though you may get lost in it.

🧠On 3 October - moon will be in gemini & mercury tine pluto- more in-depth topics will come to light. This is also good for debating darker topics. Dig deeper into something you need to know more about. You will want to understand things more.

⚡️On 4 October - Mercury Enters Libra- Seeing both sides to situations, being compromising, negotiating, and mediating can be easy to do. There will be more conversations about relationships, romantic things. Maybe you will advocate more for potential partners. You may want to please people more during this time. There will be more embellished words and conversations. You will hear everything you want to hear.

⛅️On 6 October - Last Quarter Moon in Cancer. Issues that have made the foundation of something shaky can be addressed. You may need to tackle some emotional issues too. The Moon is strong in Cancer. Here we long to take care of family, keeping them safe and well.

🩵On 8 October -venus enters virgo, after a long time being in leo. Venus in Leo gave a lot of childish energy, fun, nostalgia, romance, mainly happy things. Venus in Virgo will make things more demanding or picky. Maybe during this time you will work more for yourself and your routine. Maybe you'll be more picky in love and with who u spend time with. Paying close attention to the people you care about can be something you slide into more often over the coming. You can finally start to take things a little more seriously. You will be more practical.

🌊On 10 October -Pluto will go direct in Capricorn- Pluto retrograde coming to an end means you can start to see transformations picking back up again. With Pluto nearing the end of its time in Capricorn, you may focus on finishing changes with your goals, direction, responsibilities, or structures. You will see how much you have changed during this time, how your life has changed and how deeply pluto has affected your life and what it has contributed to you. Pluto is strong in the sign of Capricorn. Which means that everything you experienced during these years is only something that made you stronger. For all Capricorn risings you will get everything you wanted - a reward. Many karmic relationships and things that started in 2012 may end. Ask yourself how you feel after everything you've been through (especially capricorn risings).

💧On 12 October mars enters scorpio-Scorpio is a passionate, intense, and deep sign, so Mars in Scorpio means your energy and drive becomes more passionate, intense, deep , the more your possessiveness will be felt, the actions will have a deeper meaning. This is a very good time to work and create things for which you feel a deep passion.

🛼On 14 October Solar Eclipse in Libra -This is the first eclipse in Libra and the Libra Solar Eclipse can be excellent for new partnerships, commitments, and compromises. You can be diplomatic and charming and strive to get everyone on the same page. It will affect the cardinal signs the most. I will talk more about this in a separate post.

🏹On 20 October- Sun in Libra Conjunct Mercury in Libra this mean that mental energy can be strong, and you can focus on new ideas and put together plans. This transit is also good for writing, talking, debating and expressing yourself in any way. Something you began 6-8 weeks ago may culminate now.

🌸On 21 October- First Quarter Moon in Capricorn There can be adjustments that need to be made over the next week with your long-term plans. Make sure you’re seeing the big picture. You may choose to get more structured. Set your goals and follow them through. It knows that true success comes from the heart. Moon trine Uranus- people are more sociable and open to interaction. This is an excellent time for dates and trying something new, such as skydiving or dancing classes.Moon conj Pluto-you may have your emotions deeply stirred by an intense encounter that brings deep rooted issues to the surface.

🍸On 22 October Mercury Enters Scorpio-Mental energy can become intense over the coming weeks, and you can throw yourself into anything that interests you. You will be more inclined to explore truth and deeper things. There will be a lot more deep conversations and stuff. The words will be sharper, truer, deeper and more painful.

Venus in Virgo Trine Jupiter in Taurus -It can be easier to get along with others, and you may benefit from someone in your life. You can enjoy time with others and may want to bring in new people. Relationships will feel more stable and beautiful.

Mercury in Scorpio Trine Saturn in Pisces -Controlling mental energy can be easier, and you can channel your mental energy into something productive. You can make great long-term plans as well.

🦂On 23 October Sun Enters Scorpio- Passion, intensity, and transformations can be elevated during Scorpio Season, and you can make beneficial transformations, share with others, and increase passion. You can also leave many things behind during this time and transform yourself through this energy. Find personal power and use this well.

💕On 25 October Moon in Pisces Conjunct Neptune in Pisces- Focusing on your goals can help you work on your long-term plans. This is also good for manifesting. You will now feel everything that is otherwise just a dream as real.

⭐️On 28 October Lunar Eclipse in Taurus⭐️

The Taurus Lunar Eclipse can bring the culmination of financial projects and changes that you began 1-2 years ago, and you can remove blocks to stability and security. Now the reward for which you have worked for so long will come. Taurus is a fixed sign, which means that values, views, money, relationships will be greatly changed and a completely new perspective will open. Something that you deeply appreciated before, now you won't anymore. Moon will enters Taurus -Ground yourself right now because the Lunar Eclipse can trigger strong emotional energy. Grounding yourself can help you control some of it. Mercury in Scorpio Opposite Jupiter in Taurus -Your outlook can be positive, and you likely only want to be optimistic but may have difficulty fully seeing the big picture. Try taking a step back.

🖤On 29 October Mercury in Scorpio Conjunct Mars in Scorpio -Ideas can come to you quickly, and you can get excited by what you come up with, what you learn, or what you hear. You may want to take action quickly with one of your ideas.

✨On 31 October Venus in Virgo Trine Uranus in Taurus/ Halloween -Making changes in your relationships or dealings with others can prove to be beneficial, and you can find new ways to connect. You can be more open to new people as well.

-Rebekah🌸🌙🩷

#astrology #energy #zodiac signs #planets #astrological houses #full moon #mars in scorpio #mercury in scorpio #libra mercury #libra season #solar eclipse #lunar eclipse

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wanderlust-in-my-soul · 1 month ago

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Currently Watching - December

aka The Masterlist

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 29.12.2024

A little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙

gif-requests are open, but you'll need to have some patience🌼

Here you can find all of my gifs.

At the end you can have a look at what we can expect in December with a MDL link and a link for a trailer (if avaible).

This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!

1. Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu 🇯🇵 (8/11)

There are worlds between them. And I hate that they went for the separation and the time skip, but only because it hurts. I think it is a good use of this trope. But those two made each other happy and now they are hurting and that is hurting me. And next week looks hurtful too. Damn.

2. ThamePo Heart That Skips A Beat 🇹🇭 (3/13)

I love it here so much! They like each other already! They care about each other! And how could memorising a phone number be the most romantic shit ever?! They are the softest, most quiet people and I love them! They are already so special to me! I know my expectations are way too high... but I can't stop myself!

3. The Heart Killers 🇹🇭 (6/12)

Uhhhh... Shit is going to hit the fan really soon! I am here for it. What I am not here for is Fadel crying! My poor boy! Don't hurt him! So Bison and Fadel now know Kant and Style are fake, but boys, their feelings aren't fake! But the story needs some plot to work with, because right now, it is boring. Only Style & Fadel are keeping my interest up.

4. Word of Honor 🇨🇳 (25/36)

Yes, I kept watching. Well, this will take me a while to finish, I fear.

5. Your Sky 🇹🇭 (7/12)

I looooved the talk between Fah and his parents. They support him so much and they love him so much and they will love Rak with everything they have! I just hope we can get Fah and Rak becoming the best versions of themselves during the next episodes without drama and wit a lot of fluff and love. We still have five episodes to go. But for now I live in this version of the kiss and the fact that both boys are so damn much in love with the other one! They give me life!

Finished in December

Series

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days 🇨🇳

They can be glad to end this one with a happy ending! I would have thrown hands if they end it with them to never see each other again. I liked the series. It has such a wonderful melancholic feeling. It is calm and has topics that go very deep. But. The rending was very rushed. I guess we could have shorten some parts of the second couple (I really don't like them that much) and give some more time for the main couple. That is just my feeling. There were just too many questions open in the end for me. And as said, the ending was too rushed. I give this a good 8 out of 10.

Sweet Home Season 1 🇰🇷

I started this series because of him. I love him in everything he touched so far. And after a rough start this series captured my attention and I couldn't stop watching. After a while my best friend joined me and now we watch the rest of the series together. I usually don't watch horror stuff, but this one is really good. It is not too gory or to spooky and there are no real jump scares. I really enjoyed this first season. Overall a 9,5 out of 10.

Sweet Home Season 2 🇰🇷

The reason I kept watching were those two! Yes, I can see everywhere at least one bromance that should be a romance. Come on! Who looks at the lips of someone else like this if they don't want to suck on them too?! He wants to kiss those lips and this kiss would be reciprocated. Because they are in love with each other! Besides that this season was a mess. The storytelling was boring, there was no tension, too many new characters and no real connection with those characters like in the first season. I give it 6,5 out 10 just because love those two and I read some nice fanfics about them!

Sweet Home Season 3 🇰🇷

At least they could hold hands for a short period of time. I am happy Sergeant Kim survived. I am happy most of the characters I liked survived. The ending was... not what I expected. It was not bad, but the tone was a tiny bit off. The rest of the season I really liked. It was tense and the action was good. I had a blast with my best friend and finally I liked some of the characters again. But where did all the monsters gone. Not all transform into neo-humans. And what is the conclusion? Emotions and needs are bad? I don't know. A bit more explanation would have been nice. Over all a good 8 out of 10.

Movies

Short Films

Dropped in December

Love In The Air: Koi no Yokan 🇯🇵 (4/10)

Who am I kidding. I dropped this a while ago. I really couldn't care less about this series. I didn't like the original and don't really like this adaptation. It is the story I can't stand. So it is a drop for me.

Looking forward to in December

0.5D (Dec 4th)

Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai 2 Haime! - Trailer (Dec 4th)

ThamePo - Heart that skips a beat - Trailer (Dec 13th)

Eternal Butler - Trailer (Dec 20th)

Sangmin Dinneaw

Eyes On You - Trailer (Dec 11th Pilot)

#currently watching #josi watching bl #masterlist #bl series #bl drama #monthly overview #word of honor #bls in december #Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu #Our Youth #love in the air: koi no yokan #your sky the series #the heart killers #thamepo #heart that skips a beat #sweet home #sweet home season 2 #sweet home season 3

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alldevilsarehere90 · 1 year ago

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May I request #2 and #18 with Daryl pretty please?

(Some Daryl whump if you’re feeling especially generous <3 )

Title: All I'm living for

Pairing: Daryl x female reader

Summary: Just when you finally got the man you wanted, another surprise could threaten your relationship, especially when a herd of walkers is almost at your door step.

Setting: Alexandria (between season 8 and 9)

Warnings: talk of pregnancy and motherhood, anxiety, crying, slightly suggestive, angst and fluff.

Word count: 4k

Prompts: "I'm pregnant ok, that's why I don't want to go on runs and that's why I've been avoiding you." "You can't be serious, that's suicide!"

A/N: I have never done hurt/comfort before, so I hope I've done it well. I did try to condense this one, only to end up making it longer haha. Enjoy!

The feeling of careful eyes on you, suspicious, narrowed and unwavering, and you knew just who they belonged to. Without even looking you knew, you knew he was trying to read you and you also knew you were not making it easy.

You and Daryl had shared a different kind of connection from the very first day you met, one so deep you were aware of the others presence before coming into view. The electricity that charged a room the two of you were in was undeniable. You'd had your time of pretending not to notice, that was…until terminus. You will never forget reuniting with him outside of their captive walls, the sheer relief to have him in front of you, holding him in your arms as he squeezed you in return.

It was then you could no longer lie to yourself about how you felt. Lying to him, however, was surprisingly easy while you lived on the road, constantly moving from place to place, you hadn't had a moment to breathe let alone relax enough to think about it.

Until Alexandria.

Then you spent too much time thinking. Overthinking. The timing was never right, or his mood never seemed to fit, or sometimes you just couldn't face the thought of rejection and losing his friendship in the process.

Then came the saviours.

That's when everything changed, you no longer cared about being embarrassed or unrequited feelings.

When he was captured by Negan you were filled with regret and it was all consuming. If only he'd known how I felt about him. If only I'd told him before this.

When he returned, he was a different person. It took a long while for him to open up to you and tell you his story. He needed time, that much was obvious but in this world we didn't have the luxury of that before something else needed our attention or our fight.

You'd confessed one night, when you found him asleep in his basement room having a traumatic nightmare. His body jolted and his face contorted in pain, it hurt your heart in ways you couldn't even describe, in ways you didn't even think possible. He whispered your name and your hands were on him, gently stroking to rouse him from his horror.

He'd awoken with a start, eyes darting to all the dark corners in the room, reaching for his knife when he saw your silhouette.

"Daryl, it's just me." You said, hands up as you stepped into the moonlight seeping in through his small window.

His fright dissipated as he dropped the knife; clattering against the wooden floor. The tears in his eyes had you closing the space between you and wrapping him in your arms, he clung to you while he cried.

That was the night you could no longer keep the words inside you.

His response had told you everything. He made love to you that night, drawing his name from your lips numerous times until the yellow of the sun streamed through his window.

Since then, passionate kisses and delicate caresses only when you were alone, along with whispered words you'd only dreamt of…until a week ago.

You'd been off, that much was obvious to everyone in Alexandria. Knowing Daryl, he was probably obsessing over what he'd said or done to upset you, you could practically see it ticking over in his mind constantly and it killed you. Knowing it was you making him feel that way, knowing you were making him doubt himself, something he definitely didn't need any more help with but right now, you couldn't get out of your own anxiety; you couldn't see past it, as selfish as it was.

The constant feeling of wading through mud, everything seemed harder and your mind felt slower than ever, you were drowning in it and nobody could pull you out of it. Especially Daryl and that was a first. He was the person you spoke to about everything but this…something this big and you couldn't bring yourself to tell him.

Making the mistake of glancing over at the group discussing the herd of walkers travelling in this direction, only to meet his gaze and for a moment, you see a flash of hope in his eyes as he straightens up, rigid on his seat on the steps of the porch of your shared house.

Your body flinches but you force a smile as you look away again.

"Hey," a voice sounds behind you, making you jump.

Looking over your shoulder as you continue sharpening your knives, you're met with Aaron's sincere and concerned face.

"Hey." You reply weakly, head down and focus back down on your task, relishing in the high pitched scratch the blade makes against your stone.

He slowly squats down next to you making avoiding his questioning gaze now impossible. "What's going on?"

You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, the tears pricked the corners of your eyes, making your vision blurred but you stayed attentive to your knives. "Nothing."

Sighing he placed a gentle hand on your leg, the notion a comfort you didn't want, knowing you would crumble right here in front of everyone. "You're not fooling me, I know you and I know when there's something troubling you," his thumb rubs small circles on your thigh, in his usual caring manner. "why don't you come over to my place and we can talk? And whatever it is, I'll be here to support you however I can."

A lone tear fell onto your lap as you were careful to keep your eyes down. Aaron must have noticed as he gently took your hand in his and pulled you up discreetly, leading you towards his house.

You were closest with Aaron, second to Daryl, he was someone you trusted with your life but this wasn't just about you. How could you share this with him when you haven't spoken to the one person who needs to hear it the most?

As soon as your back’s turned to Daryl and the rest of your group, you swipe at the warm tear that escaped, leaving a wet trail down your cheek in its wake.

Sitting in Aaron's house, leaning back into the couch and feeling yourself relax slightly from the familiar comfort, worry evident in his eyes as he took the seat opposite you. "What's going on?"

Chewing your bottom lip, debating where to even start, not sure you can even find the words to explain how you feel. You're more than aware of how you should feel rather than how you do and yet, here you are, unable to even understand this pit that has formed, weighted and heavy inside you.

"Is it Daryl? Did something happen between you two?"

You swallow the nervous dry patch scratching away at the back of your throat. "You could say that," mumbling in response.

Leaning forward, arms resting on his knees, eager to hear what's on your mind. "Did you tell him how you feel?"

You could see it, the excitement blooming under the surface that he was trying so hard to keep restrained and to put him out of his misery by nodding in response.

"And?" His eyes wide with eagerness, almost cartoon like and under any other circumstances you would have laughed. "Did he upset you?"

Letting out an amused sigh as the idea was ridiculous in itself. "No, far from it."

He smiled, seeming satisfied and leaning back against the chair. "Didn't I tell you he had feelings for you? You two are made for eachother."

He registered your watering eyes and immediately joined you on the sofa, taking both your hands in his, waiting patiently for you to continue.

You swallow the nerves you feel rising in your throat like bile, burning your insides as they creep upwards.

"It's me, I'm messing things up, not Daryl."

The tears fall freely now, unable to ebb the steady stream down your face. "He's amazing and I don't deserve him for how I'm making him feel right now."

He rubs your back softly as you speak through your sobs. Regaining some ounce of your control in order to choke out the words that made you want to vomit. "I–," your stomach lurched at the thought of even saying those words. "I–," you sat up straighter assessing the churning of your stomach.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." Your hand went straight to your mouth as Aaron managed to hand you a bin before your breakfast came up and out of you, your stomach pulling, retching until there was nothing left to bring up.

You hadn't noticed you were alone until Aaron walked back in with some tissues and a glass of water, to which you down greedily, feeling a thirst like never before.

Kneeling down in front of you rubbing your arms, he looks you over. "Are you…are you pregnant?"

You nod, gently pushing the bin with your foot, wanting it as far away from you as your leg could reach before it had a chance to turn your stomach again.

"Have you told Daryl?"

There it was, the loaded question you couldn't face. Your eyes met his; guilt and desperation radiating from them, telling him the answer before you had a chance to speak.

"Why not?" He frowned, sliding closer to you, holding your knees. It wasn't lost on you how he knew you responded best to touch. It made you feel safe and that was what you needed to open up.

Shrugging, not really knowing yourself and painfully aware of the cop out response you were giving. "I'm scared."

"Listen, Daryl would be a great father and–,"

"I'm not scared of that." You almost scoff, the idea of him being anything other than that is absolutely preposterous. "I know he'd want this baby, and I know he'd be an amazing father."

You stop, taking a shaky breath, pulling the courage from inside you to speak the truth, "I'm scared of bringing a baby into a world like this, of being terrified all the time that something will happen to it, of being so afraid if something happens to me or Daryl and where will that leave the baby. People die all the time now. Look at Glenn and Abraham, Sasha…Carl. What if we come across another group like the saviours. What if I can't protect this baby?" Another pause and when you next speak your voice comes out like a haunting whisper, "what if I'm an awful mother?"

You can't help but stand, pacing across the room as thoughts race into your head. Some old offenders and new. Your hands find anchorage in your hair as if that will stop your head pounding with unanswered questions.

"How can I fight walkers off with a screaming baby? You can't, it just goes against everything nature is throwing at us right now. I don't want to go out on runs, I don't want to leave these walls because it's not safe enough, how am I supposed to be useful anymore?"

Your feet finally find pause as your eyes search Aaron's face, pleading for some kind of resolution of all your worries.

He takes a few tentative steps towards you. "And you're worried you'd be a bad mother?"

Taking both your hands in his, he gives them a gentle squeeze. "You're already protecting this baby, you're already being her mother."

That silenced your wild thoughts for a moment. Every decision you've made recently was putting this baby at the forefront of your mind, even if that meant letting others down, that didn't matter anymore, only the safety of your baby and yet, you've failed to realise that until now.

While you processed his words, something else stood out to you. "Her?"

He smiled, "I can just picture Daryl as a girl dad, that's all."

Your heart swelled in your chest, fit to burst at the image of Daryl holding a little mini you. A little girl with your hair and his eyes. The scene flickered behind your eyelids like a movie, him smiling down at her while holding her tiny body, making his hands seem even bigger. As a child, teaching her how to track and hunt but letting her put makeup on him or play dolls with her. Then, as a teenager, dealing with hormones and mood swings and trying to fiercely protect her from heartbreak. The image had excitement blooming inside you.

"Listen to me," Aaron grew serious again, "it's terrifying, I know. I'm scared for Gracie constantly and she's not even biologically mine. But when I come home to her and she's safe, that's all that matters."

Aaron had taken to fatherhood like a duck to water, even whilst grieving for the loss of his beloved…Eric.

"And look at our family here," he continued, "…they are always there to help and support me since Eric…" he trailed off and your heart panged for the sadness in his eyes, forcing a smile he continued. "Look how you are with Gracie and Judith, you protect them so fiercely, I know there isn't anything you wouldn't do for them."

You'd die to keep them safe, without question, like many others in your family would too. The support system you were lucky enough to have was incredible.

Suddenly, you stood here feeling rather foolish. Here this man in front of you was raising a baby on his own after the tragic death of his partner and here you are with the man you've wanted for years, ready and willing in front of you, plus the gift of his baby but almost throwing it all away. And for what? Because you're scared. God, you wanted to slap yourself and tell yourself to grow up.

You have everything most people want in life and yet, you're over here crying and worrying about things that you can't really change, a world you have no choice but to make the best out of, instead of being with the man you love and sharing this happy news with him.

You had the opportunity to be a complete family unit, how many people in this world got the chance at that?

Aarons eyes locked with yours, his wide and full of meaning, "Whether you realise it or not, you're already a mother."

Those words made your heart pound violently in your chest with purpose and validation.

He was right.

You felt a lot brighter about this unexpected pathway your life had now taken and ready for the next step of talking to Daryl.

With a freshly splashed face you returned to the house you shared with some of your family members, Daryl's eyes on you instantly, chewing his lip as he anxiously played with his pocket knife.

Rick glanced round at you, a solemn look on his face you'd come to know well.

"Just the person I was waiting for," he put an arm around your shoulder as you joined them. "Listen, I need your help, we've got a herd coming our way, the biggest yet."

All previous positivity diminished hearing those words. You knew you would all have a part to play in keeping Alexandria safe, the cost was unavoidable but who would be the one to pay the most?

"We have a plan…"

You looked up at him sensing what he wasn't yet saying, "but?"

A slight grimace contorted his face, "but, you're not gonna like it."

You couldn't help your eyes rolling, wishing he would just get to the point. The anticipation was too much to bear, especially with your stomach churning again, through nerves or nausea you weren't sure. "Spill it."

He informs you of his plan. He had men out there building barriers ready and hoping their faith in Rick wasn't misled.

Who was staying behind to fight them off at the gate? Who was going outside the walls to try and keep them in formation- you apparently? And who was going to try and lure them away? You knew the answer to the latter before the words had left Rick's mouth. Anxiety and anger bubbling and ready to erupt at any moment.

"Daryl's got the bike, he's offered to lead them away, as many miles as he can get them before turning round and coming back."

Your head shot over in his direction.

"You can't be serious, that's suicide!" Your voice was loud enough that it shocked even you.

Daryl's eyes were on you, a hint of relief before he concealed them to his usual blank glare.

"Ain't nuthin I ain't done before." He mumbled.

"Why do you have to do it alone? What if something happens to the bike? With all of them following you?" You were tense, your body coiled ready to spring into protect mode for him.

His response to shrug infuriated you fiercely, lighting a fire in your belly, something that must have been obvious as Rick's arm around you dropped and he gave you some much needed space.

"Can I talk to you?" You directed at Daryl, sharply. "In private."

You stormed up the stairs of the house, hearing his slow footsteps follow behind and stomped down to his basement room, less chance of being heard in there.

"So now you wanna talk to me, huh?" He says kicking the shut behind him. "This what I have to do, to get your attention?"

Guilt stabbed you in the gut, nausea rearing its ugly head again but you pushed it aside needing to be brave and needing to do the right thing.

"I'm sorry." You started with simply, a look of surprise flashed in his eyes as he took a step towards you. "I'm sorry I've been…off. I was too in my head and too scared to talk to you about it because once I did then it would be real."

He looked down at his feet, face hiding behind his messy bangs, nervously chewing his lip, a sight that made you want to grab him in your arms and never let him go. "If ya changed ya mind 'bout us, it's fine, I get it."

You froze, heart aching that that was his first conclusion, before closing the distance, cupping his face in your hands and forcing him to look at you. "My feelings for you will never change, Daryl Dixon, don't you dare suggest otherwise."

He nods timidly, fighting a small smile before his brow furrows. "Have I upset ya?"

Shaking your head. "No. You haven't done anything wrong."

"Then why ain't yer spoke to me all week? Yer ain't been near me or wanted me near yer."

The tears pricked your eyes, feeling like the worst person in the world for making him feel this way. He did not deserve this, he was the last person to deserve to feel like that.

"I'm pregnant ok, that's why I don't want to go on runs and that's why I've been avoiding you." You blurted out quickly before you had the chance to be distracted or interrupted.

His eyes popped as his frame stood frozen, unwavering and silent.

"I was scared," you continued, attempting to ease the shock. "and I didn't know how to tell you. It's all happened so fast." You sighed, the weight of the world removing itself from your tired shoulders. "I'm sorry for making you feel like it was something you'd done."

His hands came up to either side of your face, gently holding you in place, thumbs softly stroking your cheeks. "Are yer sure?"

You nod, eyes moving back and forth between his, "I found a pregnancy test from one of the stores on our last run and did it as soon as I got back."

Watching the light of sheer happiness in his gaze illuminate his entire face made you exasperated with yourself for neglecting to tell him this long. How could you ever not want this man?

His hands still cradling your face pulled you close and his mouth was on yours, gentle yet urgent, with one arm wound around your waist holding you close, bodies pressed up against each other.

You had missed his hands on you, the warmth he radiated and his body close to yours. Heart hammering wildly, drumming against your ribcage so hard you were sure it was trying to escape to join Daryl's as one.

Breaking away only to catch your breath, foreheads still touching, your hands found their way around his neck, keeping him as close to you as you could.

"'m gonna be a dad." He said quietly, a heart wrenching smile stretching across his face, a rare sight that you bathed in when it was present.

"You're going to be the best daddy."

You knew hearing that meant more to him than anything else due to his relationship with his own father.

His eyes sparkled as his gaze clicked with yours again, the intensity of it making you weak in the knees.

"I love yer."

Breathing hitching, heart fluttering hearing those words from him for the first time, even though you knew it, it had never been uttered out loud.

"Now, how are you gonna tell me something like that when we have urgent work to do," you stroked a finger down his face, relishing the way his body shivered in reaction, "and I can't make love to you exactly the way I want to."

He kissed you again more fiercely, growling as his mouth explored yours like a starved wild man.

"I'm yours as soon as I'm back." He rasped.

Reality came crashing down on you then, hitting you like a ton of bricks, suffocating you under their weight. "You're not doing this alone. I mean it, this time."

He nodded. "Fine, but ya ain't coming. I need yer here, behind these walls, keeping our baby safe."

You're about to put up a fight but nod, knowing it's pointless to argue with him. Besides, he wouldn't be able to focus on his job if he was worrying about you.

You would do what you could behind these walls unless it was vital.

You both head out onto the porch with the others, while Daryl goes over to Rick you take a seat on the steps next to Rosita, who mouths, "you ok?" Nodding and smiling in return, you squeeze the hand she puts atop yours.

Watching as Daryl whispers to Rick, his eyes meet yours with a flash of surprise followed by warmth, before composing himself somewhat. Clasping Daryl's shoulder before pulling him into a quick hug and turning back to the group.

Rosita turns in your direction but you ignore it and keep your eyes on Rick.

"Alright, I need someone to take a car and help Daryl lead the walkers away?" Rick asked, turning back towards you all.

"I'll do it." Aaron's arm shoots up and instant relief washes through you. The two people you trust the most helping each other out there, you felt much more comfortable about the situation now and didn't feel as sick knowing they would be out there together.

Rick calls your name, regaining your attention. "You'll be here on the wall with Gabriel, you're the best shooters we have. Do what you can from here to hold our walls."

You nod in agreement, before everyone breaks away to start getting ready.

Daryl's by your side in an instant, arm winding around your waist and pulling you to him. Your arms make their way around his neck as you memorise his face, every line, scar and curve.

"I'll be back soon, ok?" He says quietly.

"Make sure you are." Standing on your tiptoes you kiss him passionately, relishing the way he tastes against your mouth, not caring that your family were watching.

"I love you." You whisper against his lips.

His answering smile makes your stomach flutter as he gives you one last kiss on the forehead before heading over to his bike.

"Stay safe." You call out, hands clasped tensilly together in front of you.

"Always." He replied, turning around to face you and walking backwards. "Make sure you stay safe!"

You lifted two fingers up and crossed them over each other, making that silent promise to him, one you would do your all to keep.

A hand squeezed your shoulder and when you saw Aaron's face next to you another pang of sadness and anxiety pulled your heart strings.

"Stay safe, and thank you for going with him." You whispered as he pulled you into a hug.

"We'll both be home soon." His gaze turned serious as he held you firmly in front of him, "be careful."

He heads off towards the car, returning your attention to Daryl, who's mounted his bike and whose eyes are already on you. His stare fierce and yet loving, the way that man was capable of conveying everything he needed to in just one look never failed to surprise you.

A lump the size of a golf ball sat in your throat as you watched him start the engine, giving one last look back at you before he begrudgingly lifts his foot off the ground and let the bike take him. You watch the wings on his back carry him off until the gate closes.

Your chest felt empty, a giant hole still beating but with nothing inside, until he returns, bringing your heart back with him.

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badkitty3000 · 3 months ago

Text

You Can't Go Home Again

Chapter 5

Link to Chapters 3 and 4

Link to Chapters 1 and 2

Link to Chapter 6

All Five wants to do is rest. But when yet another apocalypse threatens to doom them all, he doesn't have that luxury. This time, the only solution for the Hargreeves to try and save the world is to unite Five with another, alternate version of himself.

Five starts to spiral when he is faced with the alternate life that he could have had, if only he hadn't gone and ruined everything. But maybe, just maybe, there's still time for him to obtain the happy ending he deserves.

An alternate season three rewrite for a request I received.

Warnings: None

More chapters will be posted as I continue writing this multi-chapter fic. Enjoy!

Chapter 5: You Can't Go Home Again

“I don’t know, I don’t think he’s doing too well.”

“Yeah, even before we got here, he’s not been looking great. I think he’s drinking way too much.”

“That much booze plus no sleep, topped with his size? It’s a recipe for disaster.”

“Should we help? Or at least say something?”

“Ha! Ok, sure, I volunteer you to go down there and broach this subject with our very temperamental and homicidal brother. I’m sure it will go over really well.”

“Well, we should do something. I feel bad for him. He’s been through so much.”

“It’s Five, he’s fine.”

“We can’t just keep saying that. Yes, it’s Five, but he’s clearly not fine and hasn’t been for a while.”

“What are we supposed to do about it? Send him to Junior AA? Maybe throw in a good six months of psychotherapy while we’re at it? We don’t have time for all of that.”

“Look, this isn’t the right time or place to be discussing this. We need to get home and then we can deal with it.”

“And what if we don’t get home? What if we end up somewhere else again? He’s going to really go off the deep end. I just don’t think he can handle another major mishap.”

“I’m not saying we don’t need to offer some help; I’m just saying that this is not the time to do it. There’s too much on the line right now. And you know he’s going to freak the fuck out if you try and bring it up, or even so much as offer any help. Just let the two of them figure this out first.”

“But we’re all in agreement about getting him some help once we’re back home, right?”

“Yes, definitely.”

“Good. Because I don’t want to see him hurt himself or worse because he can’t handle normal life once all of this is over. We already lost him once before; we don’t need a second time.”

“I think the old man deserves a little happiness in his life. Seeing all of this and what could have been…it must be killing him.”

“You’re the one that called him a dick to his face this morning.”

“Well, he is a dick! But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about him.”

“Me, too.”

“Same.”

“I think we all feel that way. Yes, even you, Lila, stop rolling your eyes.”

“On a different subject, are you guys hungry? Cause I’m starving.”

“What else is new?”

As the conversation swung in a different direction regarding food and how much Luther eats in one day, Five stepped back into the kitchen. He had come upstairs to clear his mind a little, and to also get some more coffee. He had actually wanted something much stronger, so he had been trying very quietly to search around in the cupboards for anything that would fit that bill. His siblings, who he had been trying to avoid, had been in the living room when he overheard them discussing his current state.

Hovering in the doorway, listening to their concerns, he glanced down at the bottle of cooking sherry in his hand. He swallowed hard as the shame began to wash over him. They were right; he was a dick. They didn’t even feel comfortable coming to talk to him about any of this because they were afraid he’d go fucking crazy on them. Which, Five realized, was entirely true.

He knew he had a problem; he wasn’t in denial. He had a lot of problems, actually, that was pretty obvious. But they also had another good point, and that was that they just couldn’t dive into all of that right now. Five was on borrowed time. They all were. And if they were going to make it out of this timeline in one piece, and restore things back to how they should be, then he couldn’t waste time sharing his feelings and getting a group hug.

With another wistful look at the bottle in his hands, he returned it, unopened, to the cupboard where he found it. He and his other version had been making really good progress, and he didn’t need to slow that down by getting wasted; no matter how tempting the thought may be. Filling up his coffee cup, he blinked back to the basement before he could change his mind.

*************************************

“Fuck, I think I have it,” the other Five said quietly while he adjusted some dials on the apparatus he was messing with. “I need a different screw driver. There should be one in that top drawer, can you hand it to me?”

Five opened the top drawer of the desk, moving various papers aside to try and find the screwdriver. When he came across a file folder, he picked it up to look underneath. Seeing the tool he needed, Five picked it up, but also accidentally dropped the folder so that all of the papers inside went fluttering to the ground.

“Damn it,” he muttered as he tossed the screwdriver to his other self and bent down to pick up the papers.

The other Five was not paying attention, since his focus was on his work at the moment, so he didn’t realize what had happened. As Five started collecting the papers and shoving them back in the folder, he noticed that a lot of them were newspaper clippings. As he inspected them more closely, Five saw that each one of the articles had to do with their father.

“Eccentric Billionaire And Former Olympian To Dedicate New Hospital Wing!”

“Reginald Hargreeves Debuts The Sparrow Academy: Meet Our Heroes”

“Hargreeves Institute Of Art Grand Opening Friday”

“Another Crime Ring Thwarted Thanks To Reginald Hargreeves And His Sparrow Academy”

“The Hargreeves Diet! Learn Reginald’s Secrets To A Healthy Lifestyle!”

Intermixed with the articles were hand-drawn schematics of the Academy, as well as a few crudely drawn ones of The Hotel Obsidian. Five recognized the drawing style and handwriting as his own.

Holding the folder up, he asked quietly, “What is all this?”

When his other self finally raised his head to look, his face paled for a moment before his eyebrows furrowed with anger. “It’s nothing that concerns you, so don’t worry about it.”

“Well, I think it does concern me considering you ARE me.”

“It’s irrelevant to what we’re working on now, so just drop it.”

Five looked down at the folder with concern, before setting it back in the drawer where he had found it. After another minute of silence, he spoke again.

“Listen, I’m not sure what you’re planning here, but…”

The other laughed contemptuously. “No, you don’t. You actually don’t know anything about me.”

“I do, though. Because—”

“Yeah, yeah…because you’re me, I get it. But just like I am not sitting around here wallowing in self-pity and drinking myself stupid, you don’t understand what I have going on, either.”

Five hesitated. That was all true, but he still didn’t like the idea of some weird obsession with their father. “Does Marie know you collect all of this stuff?”

The other Five slammed his palm on the table, rattling all of the parts lying on top. “Don’t fucking talk about my wife!” he yelled.

“Jesus…calm the fuck down. I’m not saying anything about your wife. But fine, I’ll drop the subject.”

“Good.”

After a few more seconds of uncomfortable silence between the two men, Five rejoined the other one at the table. “Looks good.”

The other him nodded as he used a small pair of pliers to tighten one more coil. “I think that should do it.”

“What do you think? Should we power it up?”

The two Fives looked down at the prototype for their time-travel device. As they had discussed earlier, it was small and portable with a wrist band so it could be worn as a watch. The current design had multiple dials to configure the exact date and time the traveler wished to go. They had agreed that it should also be stylish, so as to avoid any unwanted attention to it. The end result resembled a kind of large diver’s watch with a sleek design.

“Might as well give it a try. If it doesn’t work, we’re going to have to start at the beginning again. If it does…well, then we can build an exact replica so that we each have one.”

With a nod, Five took a deep breath. “Alright, then. I figure if we both channel our powers at the same time, we have a better shot.”

“Agreed.”

As Five watched his other self start to attach a pair of jumper cables to the device, he ran a nervous hand down the back of his neck. “Just so you know, the last time I tried to hot-wire something, not only did it not work, but I almost fried my nuts off.”

Still not looking up, the other Five shrugged. “Well, I don’t have a better idea, do you?”

Shaking his head, Five sighed. “No, not really.”

Once the jumper cables were hooked up properly, Five was handed his two ends of the cables. He swallowed nervously and exhaled a loud breath of air. “Fuck, I can’t believe I’m doing this again.”

“Ok, on three?”

Five nodded.

“One, two, thr…”

On cue, both Fives’ hands glowed with pulsating blue light as they worked on channeling as much of their power into it as possible. They watched as the light traveled slowly along the cables until it reached the watch-like device. As soon as their power made contact with it, the charge reversed itself, up through the cables again and back into their hands. With a loud, strangled yell from both, the Fives gritted their teeth and held tight. The current that was coursing through their bodies was being fueled and refueled by their continual release of power as it created an endless loop of electricity and pain.

“Hold…on...” Five instructed through a tightly clenched jaw. “Keep…going…”

As the other Five grunted with pain he hissed out, “I know…dipshit…just…shut up…”

“Fuck…you…” Five gasped in between clipped groans.

As they worked through the intense pain, they each kept their eyes focused on the watch between them on the table. The electrical current was passing through it, causing it to pulse with the same blue energy of their power. The longer they held on, though, the longer the pulses lasted. Finally, as they were both contemplating letting go before they really did fry off any crucial body parts, the glow became constant. The watch was now emitting its own bright blue light. With a slight nod to each other, the Fives let go of the cables, letting them drop to the ground as their bodies folded over, leaning heavily on the table with both hands. With harsh, loud breaths, they gradually worked through the pain and exhaustion of what they had just been through. After a minute, they glanced over at one another with a small, knowing smirk. Then Five looked down at the watch.

“I’ll be goddamned…I think it worked.”

The watch continued to glow blue, just as it had been when they were channeling their powers into it. This was a good sign, because it meant it had been fully charged and theoretically would not need any more pain-fueled jumps to get it going. That was all speculation, though. It would require a test drive to see if they had actually calibrated everything correctly.

With both of them still reeling from the pain and trying to catch their breath, they sat down and stared at the device. They were each thinking the same thing, because it was the only thing to think. Who was going to test it?

Each of them had been through the disastrous results of botched time travel in the past. It was something neither one of them wanted to experience again, but the choice was obvious.

“I’ll do it,” Five said simply.

His other self creased his eyebrows together and crossed his arms over his chest. “Why should you do it?”

“Well, if you can’t figure that out, you’re even dumber than I thought.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Five sighed heavily, running a hand down his face. He was just so damn tired and he needed a drink. But this had to come first. And it had to be him.

“Look, asshat, I’m not exactly thrilled about throwing myself blindly through the vacuum of space and time again. I’ve been doing it way too often lately, and each time I fuck something up. But it has to be me and I think you know that.”

The other Five huffed, pushing his hair off his face and tipping his head back with a sigh. Then he looked at Five and gave a small nod of understanding. He did know. There was no way he could risk the jump with an experimental time travel device. Not if there was even a chance of getting lost and leaving his kids and wife behind.

“Alright then,” Five said with a terse nod before standing up and grabbing the watch. He swallowed nervously, even just holding it in his hand. He knew how potentially sensitive these things could be, and it was possible any type of movement or disturbance to the workings inside could cause it, and him, to blip out of their current existence. “How far back or forward should I set it?”

“Just a few minutes. Start small.”

Five nodded again, hearing Reggie’s voice echoing in his head. “Keep the same timeline?”

“For right now, yes. Let’s not complicate things quite yet.”

Five adjusted a few dials to set the time and place, before removing his usual watch from his left wrist and replacing it with the time travel version. Even as hesitant as he was with it strapped to his wrist, Five still had to admit that they did a pretty damn good job of making it stylish. It would complement his suits nicely.

“Ready?” the other Five asked.

Five rolled his shoulders back and stretched his neck from side to side in preparation. “Ready,” he stated before pressing the small activation button on the side of the watch.

In one small burst of blue, Five disappeared. When he reappeared a millisecond later, he was still in the basement. This time, however, he found himself staring back at two versions of himself that were in the middle of an argument. Everyone stopped talking and stared at one another. “Shit, I think this means it works,” the smaller ‘other’ Five said, right before Five pressed the button again to return to his correct time.

Popping out of thin air, Five landed in the exact same spot he had been in when he left. With a quick check of his surroundings, he looked at his other self. “Did we do it?”

“I think so. You were gone for maybe a second. Did you make it to the right place and time?”

Five nodded. “It was right here just a few minutes ago, before we charged it. So, yeah…I think we did it.”

“Perfect!” the other version said with a smile.

“That was only one test. We should do a couple more to make sure we didn’t just get lucky. Plus we need to see if this thing stays charged.”

Both Fives knew that the worst thing to happen would be to find themselves stranded in the wrong time again, and with the watch having run out of power. It would be the same as when the briefcases went kaput. They’d be relying on their own powers and that was never a good thing.

“Ok, let me try a different setting. I’ll go a little further back and to a different place.”

He took a deep breath after he programmed the watch. “See ya,” he said with a wave before disappearing again.

When Five appeared out of the portal, he took a quick look around to assess the situation. He appeared to be in the right place. He had put in the coordinates for the Hotel Obsidian and he had found himself landing right in the main lobby. Luckily for him, the type of clientele that frequented that hotel didn’t even blink an eye when a teenage kid suddenly appeared in their midst out of nowhere. As Five faced the main doors of the hotel, he saw what he had hoped to see. His entire family, including himself, were trying to shove their way through the revolving door into the lobby, all while loudly arguing.

“Yes!” Five said to himself with a smile as he pressed the button on the watch before anyone could notice him. When he reappeared back in the basement, he let out a relieved sigh. “Ok, so far so good. There doesn’t seem to be any issue with the power strength and the coordinates seem correct.”

The other him nodded. “So, now what?”

Five let out a forceful breath of air through puffed cheeks. “Well, now comes the fun part. A bigger jump and a different timeline.”

“You sure about this?”

Five shook his head while setting the watch to the date and time he had in mind. He wasn’t sure why that particular date popped into his head, but it didn’t matter what it was, just as long as it was part of his original timeline. “Not really, no.”

When he was ready and the watch was programmed, he turned to his other self. “Listen, if this doesn’t work and I disappear, tell our family I’m sorry.”

The other Five nodded, knowing there was no use in giving optimistic words of encouragement. It was very possible this entire thing could fail. If so, Five would be lost and the kugelblitz would eventually wipe out the entire universe, including his wife and kids.

Five was gone in a zap of blue.

Reappearing on the other side of the portal, he felt the same wave of nausea pass over him that he used to have when he would make big jumps like this for the Commission. He closed his eyes for a moment to steady himself. Then he took a look around.

He was home. At least, the only real home he’d ever known, even if it was more like a boarding school than anything else. Standing in the large foyer of the Academy, Five checked the stained glass on the front door. Seeing the umbrella etched into the panes, he let out a quiet sigh. That was a good sign, but he still needed to confirm he was indeed in the right time and place.

Creeping quietly toward the living room, he heard voices coming from behind the sliding doors that separated it from the foyer. There was the sound of muffled laughter and Five could smell something delicious cooking in the kitchen.

“Baked ham,” Five whispered to himself before rolling his eyes at his own stupidity of talking out loud.

Taking a nervous look around, but not seeing anyone or hearing any approaching footsteps, Five pressed his ear to the door. The laughter was louder, and he could hear people talking, but he still couldn’t make out what they were saying. He knew it was a big risk, but his curiosity got the better of him and he cracked the door just a tiny bit to peer inside.

They were all there. His entire family, including Ben and himself, were gathered together, playing some sort of board game. Because Five had programmed the exact date and time, he knew they were all eight years old and it was a Saturday. Reginald had gone out for the evening, and Pogo had decided the kids could stand to use more than one hour of play time that day. So, he had asked Grace to make an extra special dinner of their favorite ham and potatoes, with chocolate cake for dessert. While she was preparing it in the kitchen, the siblings celebrated their precious freedom together.

Five smiled to himself while he watched his family playing and getting along. It was one of his better memories of his childhood. They were still young and hadn’t been competitive with each other yet. Training was still fun and the idea of being debuted as the Umbrella Academy for all the world to see was exciting.

Diego and Luther were arguing, of course, but it was more of the normal sibling arguing you would expect, and not the kind where you try and kill one another. Allison was trying to get everyone’s attention to explain the rules of the board game, but no one was listening to her. Five’s young self and Ben were sitting on one of the couches behind her, throwing little pieces of balled up paper into her hair and laughing hysterically behind their hands.

Klaus and Viktor sat dutifully in front of the table with the game, trying to listen to the rules as obediently as possible. That is, until Klaus took one of the playing pieces and stuck it up his nose, making Viktor laugh and Allison annoyed.

“You guys!” she started to protest, but when she saw Klaus take another piece and try to balance it on his head, she started cracking up. “Oh, forget it,” she said with a giggle, picking a piece of paper out of her long curly hair. She turned to Ben and Five who were doing a very poor job of looking innocent. Allison stuck her tongue out and flicked the paper back at them, hitting Five in the nose.

“Alright, children, time to eat!” their mother cheerfully announced from the dining room.

Five watched his little self spring off the couch, pushing Ben down in the process, and laughing. “Yes! I’m starving! I call the biggest slice of cake!”

“No way, Five! I do!” Luther argued as he trotted after his smaller brother.

“I’ll let you have it if you can catch me,” Five teased, just before flashing his bigger brother a haughty smile and blinking away.

The kids eventually made their way into the dining room where they were out of Five’s sight. He closed the door again and pressed his forehead against it, closing his eyes. The urge to burst in there and warn his innocent, younger self about everything that was going to happen was so strong he could feel his heart pounding wildly in his chest and pulsing in his ears. He wanted to grab him by the shoulders and look him in the eyes. He wanted to tell him not to time travel, even if he thought he was ready. Listen to Reggie. You really will be starving. And you’ll be alone. For so, so long…you’ll be alone.

The internal battle waged on as Five felt the tightening in his chest again and the breaths that wouldn’t come. Black spots began forming behind his eyelids.

He needed a drink. Maybe he could slip inside while they were at the dinner table and steal a bottle of Reginald’s booze. Then maybe he could think straight. No…no, he just needed to breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

Five, are you ok? You need to get out of here. The experiment worked, you just need to get back now.

I know, Dolores, but what if I can save him? Save me?

Five pressed his forehead harder against the door frame. He was panicking and frozen stiff. He needed to get out of there before someone saw him. Or before his little eight-year old self started experiencing psychosis symptoms.

You can do this, Five. Just open your eyes and move.

I can’t…I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I can’t.

Yes, you can Five…you know you can. You just don’t want to.

As usual, the Dolores inside his head was right. He wanted to stay. God, he wanted to stay there so badly. Despite all of its tortures, the Academy was his home. It was warm and filled with delicious smells from his mother’s cooking. His siblings were there; healthy and alive. His warm, cozy bed was waiting for him upstairs.

Five was certain that if he just waltzed into the kitchen right now, Grace would kiss his forehead and smooth his hair before insisting that he sit down at the table while she made him a plate of food. She would smile and ask where he’d been. When was the last time he was comforted like that? When was the last time anyone cared that much about him?

Your siblings care, Five. You heard them talking about you. They love you.

No, they just think I’m an asshole. They need me to get back to their lives, but they don’t really care.

That’s not true, Five. You know it’s not.

“Stop it stop it stop it stop it,” Five whispered to himself. “Move, stupid. You need to move.”

Nothing you can do will change anything, Five. What has happened has happened. You left your home at thirteen. You got lost in an apocalyptic world all by yourself. You became an old man and an assassin. You tried to save the world. All of these things already happened to you. And there’s nothing you can do to change that.

And just like that, Five snapped out of it. He opened his eyes, lifted his head, and took in his surroundings again. He was still alone. He could still hear his younger self and his siblings in the other room. But it didn’t matter. What was done was done. He could travel years into the past or decades into the future. He could jump a million timelines. But nothing would ever change his past.

The best he could do now was to make sure the future was just a little bit better for him and for his family. So, with a heavy heart, and what felt like a ball of lead in his stomach, Five reluctantly pressed the activation button on his watch. The Academy would never be his home again, and he had to accept that.

“You ok?” his doppelganger asked when he appeared back in the basement.

Five was breathing hard and raggedly, still reeling on his feet. He nodded and clutched the side of the table. “Yeah. Just some lasting symptoms of time travel. It will pass shortly.”

“And it all worked correctly?”

Five nodded again. “Yes.”

The other Five clapped his hands together with determination. “Great! We can get to work on building the second watch, then.” He looked at Five with concern. “Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Can I just…can you get me a drink? I need one before we start again.”

His older-looking self looked dubious for a second, and then he nodded. “Yeah, sure. You want whiskey?”

“I don’t care. Anything.”

“Alright. I’ll get you one drink, but that’s it.”

“Sure, whatever,” Five sighed as he sat heavily down in one of the chairs.

As the other Five left to go get the drink, Five rested his elbows on his knees and put his face in his hands. He needed to pull himself together. He couldn’t crack up now, he needed to concentrate. The tears were starting to form behind his closed lids, but he squeezed his eyes tighter so they would stay there. When he heard the footsteps coming back down the stairs, he wiped his face quickly and straightened up, smoothing down his clothes and combing his hair back into place with his fingers.

“Here,” his other self said as he handed him a tumbler of whiskey.

Five took a small sip and he immediately started to feel better. “Thanks.” He took another, longer drink, and then set the glass on the table before standing up. “Alright, we’re not done. Let’s get to work.”

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