#you will have to face it again
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So I uh was gonna do work and then found out I’m divorced and have been chatting with friend, brother, misc messages from friends, and now crying while thanking my one friend who housed me and dragged me to the courthouse to file for divorce. She knew it was DV before I even told her all the things that happened. So many people carried me here.
The important thing is:
I did this.
If I can do this, I can conquer my fear of heights and the dark… and then *this is a threat and promise* I can do anything.
#crying#divorce#divorced#google photos should develop breakup AI#BUT YEAH Google photos showed me pics and video from the time my flight got delayed in 2018 to go to Nashville#we were so happy then#I felt relieved looking at those memories#I wasn’t angry and it was weird#I don’t love you anymore#if I can protect my energy I can protect my love#I wish you actually gave yourself a chance#if you don’t face it all this time#you will have to face it again#no matter what you do including that#it’s not my fault if you do it#but don’t do it
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buckle up lads we're going BACK INTO THE BOOK
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#(the origin of halloween huh) (oooh)#why yes i did wake up way too early to watch the stream and will have no memory of drawing this later#anyway THE MAGIC BOOK IS BACK TO EAT US ONCE AGAIN!!!!#this does make things make a lot more sense if it doesn't have to. y'know. actually take place in the established world#like how jack and sally are apparently just gonna be THERE as themselves WHY NOT#i'm certainly not complaining mind you#scully looks like he's gonna be super adorable and i love him already#spooky scary skeleman who just goes :O a lot and is excited for halloween#he seems like he might actually be more of a fusion of jack and sally? or maybe i'm just reading too much into it#still getting jazzy vibes off of him though. is not scully j graves an incredible jazz musician name.#does this open up the possibility that the last time we went into the book there was a sexy anime boy stitch just offscreen the whole time#...maybe some things are best left uncontemplated#god everyone in this event looks fantastic i'm so glad i saved up some keys after all#a little sad that there's no lilia but you know what the fact that a halloweentown malleus exists is still pretty dang good#and sebek's hat is SO tall#the biggest hat for the loudest boy#i hope oogie is here too i need him and jamil to meet#i need jamil to be faced with a guy who's just a bunch of bugs standing on each other's shoulders in a trenchcoat#i am not coherent right now i just needed to get this out before i go pass out again
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Birds of a Feather previous / next
#my art#feralnette au#birds of a feather#long tags#sorry I went apeshit in the tags#LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW#I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO#its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical#and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread#as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational#in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away#and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do#shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again#legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it#but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings#alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird#she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her#knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself#between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot#and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo#essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that#busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way#to show her she's self sabotaging#cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD
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took a stab at arcane style pearl and etho :J
this was supposed to be a quick(er) study but i ended up coloring it anyway !!! i personally prefer the original grayscale version over the colored ones (especially etho);;
#pearlescentmoon#ethoslab#hermitcraft#life series#this was fun!!! ive been having so much fun trying out new things#pearl definitely leans closer to cc!pearl but like . her face is right there and shes gorgeous why change anything#but i am also not a realism artist whatsoever so ... i tried pearl i love you#boo at my boring etho design#i need to think of a better mask design for him but head empty still#eydidraws#my art#mcyt#hc#trafficblr#also fun to paint again#i miss rendering ive just been doing flats
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Dad Bruce teasing Damian is my favourite Bruce
#damian wayne#bruce wayne#batman#robin#dc comics#wednesday spoilers#batman and robin spoilers#batman and robin 14#to be fair Damian looks 10 again here#Bruce just seems like he's having TOO much fun#you can tell Bruce has a shit eating grin of his face even from the back
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Hi so I might’ve made a painting of my Inquisitor while trying to mimic Solas’s style so I can pretend he made it
#I’ve titled it Decade of Pining#I’m handling the wait for veilguard well as you can see#I didn’t sleep last night and just worked on this woops#at least I have the day off today so it’s no biggie#but I am perhaps a bit delirious#i think this is good for my first try#but i need to work on making things more simplified if i wanna do this again#especially in the face he doesn’t do faces tbh#I struggle a lot with not over complicating things#always have#i just wanna add more#i know no restraint#solas#dragon age#shivana lavellan#my art#dragon age fanart#solavellan#da4#dragon age veilguard#da:tv
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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wing stuff!
experimenting with a more cartoon style, idk what i'm doing loll
tagging: @goodomensafterdark <3
#ymight say i'm *winging* it!!#then again you might not#my art#good omens#fanart#crowley#aziraphale#wings#digital art#digital painting#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#wasn't completely without references here esp for the wings#but i got further away than usual#and didn't use screenshots of michael sheen or david tennant's faces to do the characters' faces#i'm all right with how everything turned out except crowley's face#i have a hard time simplifying and leaving things out for drawing small or more cartoony#i end up trying to clumsily cram more detail in than the size or style wants and it looks weird#oh well it is practice it is valuable!!#i did most of this yesterday which was my bday lol present to myself#my days of short captions and a journal in the tags have come to a middle
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They're judging their sibling's life decisions, and they are not impressed.
(And to think Jason and Dami have pit-madness in their system)
#color study#My fanarts levels depends on my adhd serotonin#Procastination it is#But they are so prettyyy so i am happy#dc comics#damian wayne#fanart#dc#robin#jason todd#red hood#If i dont doodle my artstyle revert to anime and i need to restudy human face anatomy and sometimes i love it sometimes i dont#Right now i love it#apparently if i want to put two days worth of work on a fanart it doesnt look bad huh#Also been using orange and red again on my skintones...i have been warching this youtube shorts guy that gives advice for art corrections#And its great#Had mild colorblindness so dont know how it looked on you guys but for me it looked good enough#if i make it orange again then just blame it tk artistic freedom lol
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The musical episode.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangyao#nie mingjue#Remember jin guangyao: If you do any treachery you will face the wrath of five horses.#When are the horses going to come into play? You'll see.#s2.ep8 had beautiful music... I listened to it on loop while drawing!#Good music to chill out to before you fly into a rage.#This episode really cements how JGY's mind works - It is a matter of long-term outcomes at the sake of nearly everything else.#Morals do not matter to him if the outcome is more favourable.#and at the center of it all - he has learned that the only person he can truly trust is himself.#In turn - the only person his actions benefit are himself.#He will do anything and everything it takes to reach a position of power - not just for the power. But because it means safety.#Because it was something he was denied and the idea of not having control in his life again is unforgivable.#'Happiness' isn't a goal. We are looking at someone still stuck at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.#Everything and everyone is a piece in a game. Bonds and friendships are assets. People are dispensable.#He wants to climb for the sake of climbing. He wants praise and recognition because he feels it is deserved. It's all so hollow.#We could go deeper into his psyche on this.#But these are also tags under a comic in which 'evil penis music' is the punchline.
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rage.
#welcome to today's episode of “me trying to draw 76 different emotions at once”#rage+grief???sorrow??? anguish?????#hmmmmmmm#definitely pain#and a hint of fear#no but like he's angry but there's sadness underneath you get what i'm saying#the kind of rage caused by something that left you traumatized and you just can't stop thinking about how unfair it was#like “i didn't deserve this nobody deserves this” kind of rage#well anyway#i don't even care about anatomy at this point#just let me see how much i can distort the face and still have it somewhat resemble the character#didn't mean to draw him crying again but my hand slipped oops#astarion#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 astarion#baldurs gate 3#astarion fanart
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saw some mangy dog on the outskirts of town
#my art#oc#els#werewolf#furry#anthro#illustration#you would not believe the hassle this gave me lmao....i want to do more with it but i have to wipe my hands of it#idk if this looks good but it has to be finished i have to be finished with it#WORD OF ADVICE that allows a small glimpse into the horrible time i've had: PLAN YOUR COMPOSITIONS#GOD. initial drawing of els: 1-2 hours at most. trying to find a composition that doesn't suck: 100000 hours and ongoing#i think my problem is this els looks better zoomed in but finding a way to keep it zoomed in....mission impossible#i love this els face though. i will admit. i had to persevere to get SOMETHING that at least vaguely worked so i could show off this els#okay. okay. anyway it's greengage season again. big ups to greengages for making life just that much brighter#also the owls are goin crazyyy outside my window rn they are speaking and i am listening. in a delirium
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its funny. to me. and thats what matters
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#isat loop#roxx art#siff face changed from the wip dw about it tho#also… midnight posting again 🎉 happy 1am to me#im discovering i like to scribble around with the pencils… thaaabk you fire alpaca you are my friend now#anyway bedtime 👋 👋 i have a french exam tomorrow
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can we pleasee please please stop fucking fearmongering and blaming trans men for the predstrogen situation. please god. posts about "trans men teaming up with terfs to get trans women banned!" with zero sources all over my dash. blaming "transandrophobia truthers" for all the transmisogyny. have you all lost your fucking minds?? what the fuck happened to t4t??? what the fuck happened to trans solidarity??? why is "transfem separatism" even a subject worth entertaining????
anyone who says other trans people are the enemy is a fucking fed. jesus christ
#my blood is fucking boiling right now and my heart is breaking#i keep seeing people go off the deep end with 'trans men arent oppressed! trans men face no discrimination because they have male privilege#its the fucking 2010 “trans men are betraying their female gender!” shit all over again!#transandrophobia#fleapit's patented rants#sorry im just. so sick of it.#saw it from a fucking FORCE-MASC BLOG like are you serious???
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Hi it's just to let you know that the official romanization of Revaan's name is Raverne ! Also they have romanized Baul's name to Baur !
Twst coming back at us again with the least expected romanization! thank you everybody (oh god my inbox) (no it's great, I literally asked for this and the reactions have been INCREDIBLE, thank you all!)
I do like Raverne though, I think it's got a nice fancy sound to it! (I had kinda suspected it was going to be an R instead of an L, so the fact that it's SO close to Laverne except for that is hilarious to me personally.) and Dragoneye Duke is honestly probably the best translation for his title, I wasn't envying the localizers that one. :') Baur instead of Baul I was NOT expecting, but in retrospect I think his name's supposed to be a reference to the Bauru crocodile, so that actually makes way more sense!
someone else also said Meleanor has become Maleanor, which is the REALLY weird one to me, because I was so surprised it was written as Mel instead of Mal in the first place?! oh god no I can't decide which one I like better. 😭 (I wonder if they might change it to Mal...they have made romanization changes before) (like I remember House of Distraction being corrected to House of Destruction in Playful Land) (I did check and she's still Mel for now, but I dunno, they might Mal her up and some point and save me from having to make a decision about which one to use) (HECK I CAN'T DECIDE)
uhhhh thank you for letting me ramble about anime names, let's just say MONOGRAMMED SWEATERS FOR EVERYONE
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 4 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 4 spoilers#mel is so cute but mal fits with the rest of the draconias better#eng version no you were supposed to save me not make things MORE confusing#anyway raverne huh#that uh. that sure feels like it's supposed to evoke raven doesn't it.#what does it mean WHAT DOES IT MEAN#hold on i'm going to flail around embarrassingly about anime character theories now#(okay first a disclaimer: i do think we need to sit down as a fandom at some point)#(and have a discussion about exactly what is actual canon versus meta speculation versus jokes)#(because i think there has been. some confusion. over that re:crowley and raverne specifically)#(but i do feel justified in being like THEY ARE PROBABLY CONNECTED SOMEHOW RIGHT?! right now)#like i really don't think it's as simple as crowley being raverne but with memory loss or something#(and if they pull that on us i'm going to need an EXTREMELY good explanation to go with it to justify that)#they've gone out of their way several times now to make a point about them acting and sounding different and it feels very intentional to m#(and once again: i super 100% absolutely do not believe that lilia wouldn't recognize him with the top half of his face covered)#i just think the contradictions are a lot stronger than the connections right now but there ARE some connections and i'm 👀ing at them#to be fair the connections are mostly meta like crowley being diablo/raverne being evocative of raven#also the general 'raverne mysteriously disappeared and apparently had distinctive eyes' thing#versus 'crowley's past is unknown and he never shows his eyes'#(i will argue that crowley DOES seem to have some kind of canon connection to briar valley)#(since he is clearly some sort of fae and the masks are a briar valley thing)#and that is kinda it right now isn't it#okay hold on i had to delete some tags because i used too many (thanks tumblr for letting me know and not just vanishing them OH WAIT)#so tl;dr: i'm in the 'crowley is connected to raverne somehow but it's more complicated than just him being in disguise' camp personally#but that will probably change as we get more info and also don't take this as an anti-speculation thing because i love theories HOORAY
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... and he was eager moreover to discover all that he could concerning Mankind. He it was that first met Men in Beleriand and befriended them; and for this reason he was often called by the Eldar Edennil, 'the Friend of Men'. (Athrabeth Finrod ah Andreth)
(partially inspired by this)
#small disclaimer: i still haven't completed my annual silm reread#so this mayyyy be a little bit inaccurate#i was having so many thoughts about finrod and the edain again so i couldn't stop myself :)#but!#clarisse! you may ask. whats up with the hands being so realistic but they still have cartoon faces#i don't know. i respond. im at that stage of drawing#you know how sometimes you draw something and stare it for too long and you start having a crisis of whether it was even a good idea#like i've been working on this for the past week! and have no idea if it's even comprehensible#however. i am done with it and methinks is time to release it to the wild#clarisse doodles#tolkien#the silmarillion#finrod felagund#beor the old#house of beor#baran#andreth#beren
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