#you still have to respect. the gender
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GOD there is a very big difference between "this character is autigender" and "this character is too autistic to understand gender". just like there is a very big difference between "this character is asexual" and "this character is too autistic to know what sex is"
and the first way to start to tell the difference between those things is to ask yourself, "am I acknowledging and respecting the complexities of this characters' identity + how that is portrayed, or am I saying this as a way to sideline or dismiss the way other fans are discussing their sexuality/gender"
#idk man#I'm autigender btw I just don't use that word so much anymore because I'm 21 and I'm tired#like. okay#I think Charlie Kelly is autigender because the show basically says as much#I just also happen to fluctuate between 'Charlie is transmasc' and 'Charlie is transfem'#and it's not 'too autistic to understand gender' it's. 'gender is a social construct and autism influences that'#you still have to respect. the gender#god I am too tired to explain this properly you either get what I mean or you don't#I'm going to bed
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ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story
#you know. the one with the pendulum#'hey. why are you as an allo person shipping this aspec character like this'#'oh aspec people can still date/have sex!'#'yeah. now can you answer the question that i actually asked you'#like goddamn just say you don't care they're aspec and you want to fulfill a sexual/romantic fantasy with them. that's Fine#it like. sucks. for sure. lotta aspec people will be unhappy with you. but everyone is entitled to their own wants and experiences.#but i'd prefer you just be honest with it rather than using our community's conversation points as retroactive justification#and ONCE AGAIN. you guys are real fucking cavalier with this shit and it shows a real fundamental lack of respect for aspecs#when most of you would NEVER ship a canonically gay character with the 'other' gender. cause again. it would suck.#you can do it. nobody's Stopping you. but it would suck.#and we understand that putting a queer character in situations that erase that queerness is shitty! until it comes to aspec characters!#and whoa... there it is again... people don't consider aspec identities to be queer... crazy how it always comes back to that#anyway. you all know what i'm talking about. have seen many posts about this lately#it is [ long sigh ] unfortunately a very hot button issue with the advent lately of alastor hazbinhotel#which. again. god i wish there were other canon aspec characters to be having this conversation about.#but we'll have to do our best with what we have#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#aroace#talking#aspec#asexual#asexuality
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hi Silver! o/ because that fanart made me wonder - would you happen to know when/where Dick's stuffed elephant plush Zitka turns up in the comics?
GREETINGS CAM <3333 THAT ART WAS SO CUTE
Yeah, I think your instincts are right - it's a truly adorable bit of transformative fandom, but I'm 95% percent sure it's not comics canon. Barbara has canon plushies, but I don't think anyone else does.
I got kinda invested in the investigation (it's hard to prove a negative!) and I ended up typing out an entire History of Elinore/Zitka, so, uh, if you're curious, meet me below the cut for:
Where does Elinore / Zitka - the animal - appear in comics?
Did Dick ever have a stuffed elephant toy in comics?
Where does Elinore / Zitka appear in comics?
We're gonna go in chronological order!
Dick's circus elephant friend was first created for practical reasons: in Batman 436, Marv Wolfman does a big expanded flashback to Dick's circus backstory as a way to subtly show us Tim before officially introducing him (so that we can have a technically-solvable mystery-of-Tim's-identity in LPoD). In this comic, there's an elephant named Elinore who loves Dick:
Aww. Such a cute elephant!
Batman 436 comes out in August 1989. New Titans 60 comes out a few months later, in November, and guess what? When Dick visits the circus, he is suddenly surprised by an unexpected blast from the past! It turns out that even though it's been years, Elinore still remembers him!
Here's the part where Elinore remembers Dick:
SUCH a cute elephant. I love her.
(Guess who else still remembers Dick even though it was so long ago. Guess which other character is about to be an unexpected blast from the past. Guess which character Elinore is directly paralleling guess guess guess sorry everything is about Dick and Tim in my mind but I can focus I swear)
Four years later, in 1993, Batman: The Animated Series retells Dick's origin story. They like and keep Wolfman's elephant, but they change her name to Zitka:
Wolfman doesn't return to the elephant beyond those two appearances, and a few years down the line, New Titans gets cancelled and Wolfman's not writing Dick anymore anyway. So the animal gets abandoned for a while, until Devin Grayson, a fan of both Wolfman and B:tAS, revives the Wolfman-era Titans team in JLA/Titans and then the ongoing series Titans 1999.
Grayson then brings back the elephant in a flashback to Dick's past in Titans 16 (Jun 2000), where she imports the B:tAS name. Sometimes I'm skeptical of TV-to-comics imports, but honestly, I endorse this one. You lose the alliteration, which is a shame, but IMO Zitka is a better elephant name than Elinore.
Here's Dick with the newly-christened Zitka in Titans 16:
Grayson also briefly references the elephant in Gotham Knights 20 and - in a final angsty callback - in Nightwing 88 (Feb 2004), where Zitka tries futilely to comfort Dick in the midst of his trauma conga line:
... And... honestly, I think that's it for comic appearances? The two Wolfman comics plus the three Grayson comics.
Both Wolfman and Grayson are writing multiple titles - Batman, New Titans, Titans, Gotham Knights, and Nightwing between the two of them, spanning a big chunk of Dick's post-Crisis canon - and both writers use the elephant for heartwarming moments of nostalgia, which means if you're doing a post-Crisis readthrough for Dick, Elinore/Zitka feels memorable. But I don't think she actually shows up that much.
For post-2011, I am not as well-informed - throwing this out to the dash? anyone know? - but I feel like Zitka the heartwarming symbol of Dick's heartwarming circus past is, uh, thematically very at odds with the Court of Owls evil!circus vibes, so my instinct is that this story element was almost certainly dropped in the reboot.
Did Dick ever have a stuffed elephant toy in comics?
In WFA, yes; in main comics continuity, no. Technically, I have not read every comic ever published, so I could be wrong!! But I don't think so.
Below, find my rambling reasoning on the tonal vibes of pre-Crisis, post-Crisis, and post-2011, and why this particular story element doesn't seem right to me for the first two.
Pre-Crisis (...okay, mostly the Silver Age): stuffed animal, yes or no?
tl;dr no, requires too much background knowledge on the part of the reader, plus the elephant wasn't a thing until later
Elinore doesn't get created until post-Crisis, but also just generally, pre-Crisis callbacks are more along the lines of this reference in Batman 129 (published in 1960), where, wow, Batman and Robin are hunting jewel thieves - and it turns out Robin recognized this strongman! BUT HOW?!
The comic goes on to recap Dick's entire origin story in flashback, on the assumption that you may not know it.
(BTW, if you'd like to know more about Haly's Circus throughout the years, nightwingology has a great post here summarizing a lot of fun plotlines and characters!)
Basically: Silver Age comics are very self-consciously episodic and kid-friendly; they're not generally gonna do overly-elaborate callbacks because they don't know what comics their kid readers may have randomly picked up or remember.
By the time of post-Crisis, comic books were being written for an adult audience buying from the direct market, i.e. readers who are collecting whole runs & don't need or want Dick's origin story to be recapped to us in full every time it's referenced. That's why in post-Crisis, we get stuff like "hey, neat, this particular soda brand is getting mentioned in several different books!!" or "in order to understand this story arc, buy SIXTEEN DIFFERENT COMICS in FIVE DIFFERENT RUNS and read them ALL ACCORDING TO A NUMBERED ORDER and also you better be following the individual plotlines and recognize these five minor characters who we don't bother to introduce!! Good luck!!" But the elaborate post-Crisis plotlines - and subtler worldbuilding like a stuffed animal callback to Dick's backstory - don't make a lot of story sense UNLESS you're imagining your readers as completionist adult fans.
So IMO a stuffed animal wouldn't be a pre-Crisis thing unless it was The Episodic Story Of the Week, and I don't think a stuffed animal is action-adventure-y enough for the fast-paced storytelling of the Silver Age. (Unless it, like, came to life and tried to eat you or something.)
Post-Crisis: stuffed animals, yes or no?
tl;dr: no, Dick's a manly tough guy, he's not gonna have a stuffed animal, that'd be lame, like something Tim might do
Part of the edgy grimdark adult vibes in 80s/90s comics is that some characters who used to be kinda silly & goofy & lighthearted - like Batman and Robin - get reimagined as Serious and Angsty and Edgy in a Tough Cool Manly Brooding Way. This massively affects characterization for Bruce, Dick, and Bruce and Dick's relationship.
(I obviously love this change & love the tense Bruce-and-Dick interactions, but plenty of fans of the earlier fluffy comics really disliked the edgy retcons of Miller / Wolfman / Starlin / et al.)
The upshot is that post-Crisis is a period when you could have a recurring reference like a stuffed elephant, but you wouldn't have a stuffed elephant, not for Dick. I think a toy like that would be too cutesy / childish / effeminate to give a male character in post-Crisis, unless you were poking fun at him.
Now, you could probably let Tim have a stuffed animal, because Tim is sometimes cool but also sometimes a tryhard loser who is faking being cool and not entirely pulling it off (see e.g. the Robin comic where he practices tough-guy faces in the mirror, or the Teen Titans comic where Conner discovers his cringy Enya CD, or when he's fanboying over Connor and it's awkward, etc etc.). A stuffed animal would be deeply embarrassing, and you'd have to be careful to compensate by having Tim do something cool afterward - but Tim's character concept allows for "he's kind of a loser sometimes."
But Dick isn't!! In post-Crisis, Dick's a tough / impressive / "cool guy" character, the kind of guy anyone would want to be, even in the flashbacks where he's Robin, and even in the stories where he's more lighthearted than angsty. It'd be kinda lame for Dick to have a stuffed elephant, so he wouldn't. I feel like Dick would be more likely to poke fun at it if someone had one, like when he's making fun of Wally for liking the Hardy Boys. Dick could have a Batman action figure, at most, and if he had one he would have it ironically.
Basically: in post-Crisis, a male character hugging a stuffed elephant feels more likely to be a punchline to me, not something poignant. (Even with Tim, Tim could have an embarrassing stuffed animal, but he couldn't hug it when sad - that's too far. Maybe Booster Gold might do this. Probably he wouldn't, but spiritually, he would. Sorry Booster ilu! <3)
Instead, Dick instinctively deals with his inner turmoil like the TORTURED ACTION HERO he is: by punching things and brooding and yelling and joining the mob and sleeping on rooftops and going on obsessive secret missions and acquiring Angsty Stubble!! Just like Batman!
(Technically I don't know if Bruce ever joined the mob but you know he would.)
Anyway as you know this is my favorite continuity and I am poking fun affectionately, but uh, yeah sdfsfdsfs. No stuffed animals.
Post-2011 / Infinite Frontier / Wayne Family Adventures: stuffed animals, yes or no?
tl;dr it's in WFA! Probably not anywhere else, but it could be.
Post-2011 stuff tends to be cutesier overall, most of all in the current Infinite Frontier era. So I don't feel like this would be tonally out-of-line with IF comics. Taylor tends to go for more meme-y references rather than fanfic references, though.
So the obvious best fit is WFA, which is aiming for a rough approximation of Silver Age family-friendly vibes - wholesome, episodic plots, Teaching Good Moral Lessons For The Youth, etc. - plus lots of Easter eggs for fanfic readers and some comic references.
And look, here we are:
Aww.
Whew - that's everything I could find!
Anyway as you can probably tell, I LOVE the elephant, so this was a very entertaining rabbit hole to go down, thank you <3
#dick grayson#anyone with more info feel free to chime in & we can crowdsource <3#i do think the toy elephant is awfully cute though <3#total digression but i was thinking about it as i was writing:#i'm fascinated by the ways that the post-crisis batboys & their stories can intersect with 90s masculinity and all its issues with stoicism#and i'm pro-queering and gender-bending - 90s comics were a total boys' club so i think it's neat that transformative fandom isn't#but i do love 90s masculinity and All Its Issues too & one of the things i find compelling about the dick-tim-bruce trio#& especially dick's place in it - is the unspoken hierarchy whereby bruce is manlier than dick & dick is manlier than tim#and so dick's in the middle as this somewhat softer-character who aspires to be a harsher & more stoic & ultimate manly-man character#caught in the middle between robin & batman & what each role represents#and like. batman is both manhood & the only desirable thing to be AND ALSO it represents this immense narrowing of possibility#because so much of stereotypical masculinity is about reducing the range of emotions you're allowed to have or express#and dick is both incredibly conflicted about bruce AND wants to be just like him & by extension is conflicted about masculinity writ large#so a lot of dick's interactions with tim veer between trying on a frat-boy-ish 'I'm The Manly Guy' persona vs. giving up on it#or trying on imitations of Bruce's Batman persona but also trying to backtrack out of it bc he doesn't like how it feels etc etc#ANYWAY i think what i am trying to say is that if tim had a stuffed animal dick would be entertained & poke mild fun at him#and call him 'teddy' for the next hour or something while tim got increasingly defensive about how the teddy bear was steph's#and/or about how the teddy bear was OLD and tim doesn't even care about it and also WHATEVEr i'm above this#and to an uninformed observer this might look like bullying BUT ACTUALLY#this ritual would IN FACT be very reassuring to both of them + tim would feel WAY better afterward than if dick had ignored it#because by poking fun at him dick shows he still respects tim enough to tease him thus subtextually exorcising the threat of wimpiness#plus allowing tim to defend himself & demonstrate that he can take a joke so they've both reaffirmed their masculinity to each other#& they don't have to be scared of the teddy bear and all it represents anymore#however also afterward dick would have a brief nostalgic flashback to when he was a kid & had a teddy bear & feel weird about the memory#because he would be unable to articulate to himself that what he misses is a past when he allowed himself to be vulnerable#anyway this wouldn't actually happen in comics but it's what would happen in my soul. you know.#ask tag#zitka
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Breaking tumblr by confessing that my findings have me deducing she is bisexual with a preference for men.
#[ 🕷️ ] —— musings#[ 🕷️ ] —— out of character#[ how you say? by comparing her s*x scenes and the trajectory of animation of her kisses ]#[ and other small details like the baby daddy- the fact she’s an abnormality in drow society ]#[ and instead of thinking of this ‘fuck all men’ mindset people think she has ]#[ and comparing it more to like 1800s patriarchies but in reverse ]#[ men like Drizzt and Zak and Gromph and Jarlaxle wouldn’t have garnered their respect or#/disrespect/ if drow men were so displaced ]#[ they still had to fight and die for it but- it’s why drow men are so ruthless ]#[ me defending drow men all the time too.. because listen just because canon says a gender is worthless#doesn’t mean we are suppose to agree. ]#[ when the law says a male infant who’s an hour old should be put to the dagger doesn’t make it any less right ]#[ I feel like the fandom on a whole forgets that. ]#[ it’s like that in canon but it doesn’t make it right same as a Victorian being silenced for her voice doesn’t make it right because law ]#[ anyway i got entirely side tracked bHAHAHA ]#[ hello adhd ]#[ anyway it doesn’t mean that she likes women less just that you know ]#[ she still loves a good di*k down and isn’t repulsive of men ]#[ heck we shouldn’t have to explain this but we all know there are parts of the general fandom and twitter that are biphobic ]
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Puyo/Madou, meet ISAT. ISAT, meet Puyo/Madou. I'm sure you have everything in common and this is not at all a completely random crossover of my two current interests
#dont look at Salde for rhe love of my sanity do not even percieve Salde i dint kwno what ifmf doing g#art#fanart#ISAT#puyo puyo#in stars and time#madou monogatari#kitscribbles#sig puyo puyo#schezo wegey#arle nadja#ringo ando#sig really do be sig no last name#prince salde#their ages are different in this one. oldest to youngest - schezo > arle > sig > ringo > salde#you see that stubble on Sig thats baby stubble. thats unfortunate facial hair on a teenager#sometimes it works out for people still in their teens but not sig#Ringo is!! Perhaps a bit too young to travel!! She's basically a foreign exchange student#i have to admit all the roles and dynamics in ISAT are NOT 1:1 in this AU#i have it all mixed up#when i say sig and schezo are besties i mean theyre both awkward with people they just happen to have an understanding. also sig bullies hi#Sig is he/they here!! I dont usually mess with canon genders (hella respect those who do) but honestly i just like it for Sig...#I still need to learn more about Salde but imma just go ahead and say that Salde is kid gender#Was tempted to hide Sig's lil hair thingies under his hat but then was like. Why would i do that#favorite joke in all this is that Schezo tried so hard to Change that he fucked up his own speech patterns and now socializing is. well#sig didnt shave before the loops and now he has to do that every time or suffer the teasing of his friends at some point in the house#thanks guys im going insane over here and youre laughing. going nonverbal now#How does Salde balance a fish on their head? uhhhhh well you see. have you ever balanced a massive bag of frozen peas#Salde doesnt cook but there's money in that fish. Nobody feels comfortable enough to ask a kid for cash but they WILL reward good behavior#in puyos and time
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just watched the barbie movie everyone was discoursing about last year and I can't help but feel like a lot of the problems in its execution could have been avoided if the kid character's arc had been about learning to embrace girly stuff as an act of rebellion against the adultification of teen girls while barbie went full butch transmasc
#deerchatter#i know why they didn't do that obvs the writers haven't a fucking clue what a feminism is and the bosses prefer it that way#but it's fun to think about what a good version of the premise could have looked like. there were interesting pieces on the board#the kid character could have been interesting if her arc had been about rejecting barbie bc of increasing awareness of the association#between femininity and weakness. but in wanting to gain respect she started acting and dressing like a young woman because she's at that age#where girls begin to be rewarded for being a more subdued and quote-unquote natural kind of feminine.#she could have become friends with barbie as a symbolic way to heal her inner child#meanwhile barbie takes the you-can-be-anything message to its logical extreme and decides what she wants to be is the one thing mattel will#never let her be: gender non-conforming#these 2 character arcs and where they intersect could have told the same story much better i think#emphasis on personal choice/growing up/social rebellion/embracing what will really make you happy#while also covering multiple ways to handle gendered expectations. pick out the parts you like or throw the whole gender out. both r good!#anyway i have to admit this movie was disappointing. i knew it wasn't gonna be woke but i thought it would still be a bit more fun ....#was hoping for a guilty pleasure kind of experience but even setting aside that hard thematic fumble it's underwhelming :(
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Funny how all it takes is a couple of conversations with a cis straight man about gender to make me go "yup I'm definitely not cis"
#listen I adore my stepfather ok but he's got a pretty traditional view of gender#he's very respectful of others and doesn't enforce it on anyone else#and I think it's not that toxic all things considered bc he sees 'manhood' as being primarily about being hard working and protecting other#but it's still very gender essentialist#and he sees a lot of things as 'man things' and 'woman things'#and talks about skills and roles that are 'men's'#and I'm just like well but I do a lot of those things. but I identify with a lot of the things you describe.#and he tries to go around it like 'ahh well but you have personal history with that' etc etc#we get along really well tho we don't fight or anything but it's interesting to me#it makes me realize just how much I'm outside of the binary in the eyes of cis people#and how much 'trying to be a man' or 'trying to be a woman' are things that hold no emotional meaning to me(personally)#I could not care less what makes me masculine or feminine or if either of those labels are revoked for some reason#taking on the label of woman or man feels like a burden to me bc it always comes with a set of expectations#I just wanna be me yk. I just want people to see me through the lens of 'this is a person'#'this is what this person likes. this is how this person behaves'#I just wanna turn off gender. can I do that? like just flip a switch and no one perceives me as anything anymore#in a perfect world maybe#sleep.txt#I honestly still don't fully understand how I feel about gender but. I know that I don't like being put into a box#the box is Evil.
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whenever i see someone who is like "yes but [x] isnt as oppressed as [y]!!" or "[x] is widely accepted now!!" as a way to like. disregard queer people's experiences. i'm just like. have you been outside? have you been in the real world?
#im just.#infighting is so dumb#'you're tme so you can't talk about-' first of all. we're not tme. transmasc =/= tme. honestly tme is a dumbass label anyway and has just#become a 'progressive' way to ask for agab#what do you think a boy/masc person in a dress reads as to transphobes. you think theyre gonna apologize if i say#'actually im transmasc not transfemme'#thats not how that works-#every time we try to correct our pronouns we get stopped because it's 'inappropriate' and 'uncomfortable'#same with every time we try to explain our gender#and yet there are still people online trying to judge if a complete stranger is 'queer enough' to count#(and if they're 'not' the reaction is like. death threats for some reason??)#and im always like. GO OUTSIDE. PLEASE.#the queerphobe on the bus does not ask for your labels before calling you slurs. the bully harassing you will not stop and apologize if you#try to say 'i'm not [x] actually im [y]'#they do not care. they are full of hate and they have already decided on a target.#also? you have no right to a stranger's labels and life experiences#trying to demand that is already creepy. especially since your goal is to see if they're worthy of respect#ok rant over i think. just. ahhghh
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is it just me or is it Weird that ppl will see someone being gnc or doing smth atypical for their gender & immediately jump to assuming theyll be trans & misgendering them by using their "future pronouns"
eg a guy talking abt how much he likes wearing feminine clothes & the comments being stuff like "give her time, shell figure it out <3" like ok. sure they Could transition later on but for now youre just misgendering them for no reason. not everyone is an egg & sometimes you do more harm than good by assuming they are
#idk i just think ppl automatically equating being gnc to being trans is. not helpful. to anyone#you can suggest someone to evaluate their gender if you rlly think they could benefit from it but dont misgender them in the process ???#if they do change pronouns later thats cool but you still have to respect their Current ones :|#ppl dont all have the same experiences! maybe smth that was a sign of You being trans is just personal choice for someone else#maybe you liked certain clothes for gender reasons but someone else just likes wearing those clothes for fun. nothing is universal#ok thats my rant 4 the day#torch chatter#me when i complain
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I like to think that Marlowe is haunted by the events of the Big Sleep for the rest of his career. The old man he was forced to lie to. The little guy he needlessly bullied who died in front of his eyes. Rummaging through gay porn for the job. The gay murderer he was beastly with. The creep who insulted him (queer slur. It was a queer slur) after breaking into his house and waiting in his bed naked. Killing his first and last guy in self-defense. The worm quote. The girl he had a crush on who never returned. Winning and losing completely. He was never the same after.
#philip marlowe#the big sleep#confession I don’t care that much for the big sleep#Marlowe is still baking in the oven#one day I found an article saying that the creep wasn’t a creep but was “confident in her sexuality” girl power yeeeeeah#with all due respect do you fucking hear yourself#have you heard that consent had no fucking gender actually#*shivers*
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Of my 2% capacity to be attracted to anyone, my type is like 90% women, 5% pretty men and 5% men you would swear are super fucking manly, and never questioned being straight and cis, but are now suddenly *stressed* that they can't figure out why their attraction to me [fully socially interpreted as a woman and labelled that way up until relatively recently] feels incredibly fucking gay
#you are a straight man correct? Yes. Attracted to someone you view as a woman correct? Yes... But you are afraid that makes you gay?#Afraid is a strong word but also stop asking stupid questions#The end result is I tend to date a lot of men who either then realize they are women or bi or gay and I am there when they are taking out#the messiest parts of that on whoever they are with at the time#and on one hand it means I created a space that made them feel safe enough to self examine#but on the other hand I'm their last stop when the fallout hits#OR they just realize they find the expectations put on them for masculinity to be really oppressive even negligent or abusive#I would say I need to adjust my strategy and stop trying to 'woo' men the same way I don't actually -flirt- with women#but I have already solved this problem by refusing to date ever again#The retrospective is funny though#The problem is I am attracted to men in a gay way and to women in a gay way but no one tells you the consequence of that and looking#like a pretty butch is that it really confuses the straight guys#Like why is this guy who's usually hmmm... as dom and masc as you would imagine suddenly in my lap and red and having entire feelings#about the way I am holding his hip? He doesn't knoww either and he's really pressed about it#And that thing messy lesbians do where they act jealous of you and also like they want to fuck you at the same time that looks like a red#flag from hell? Imagine dragging that out of unsuspecting straight guys -menTM-#They don't know why they are acting like that around me either but it's going to go one of two ways#either it will seem overtly threatening and aggressive to everyone involved including themselves or they'll have enough social sense#and tact to be playful about it but still not be sure if they are flirting or whether they like me at all#I have patience for one of those and unfortunately[?] it's the guy who's in my lap looks like he's being tortured and can't find his footin#not the guy telling me how much he's going to beat my ass at some game and I am going to like it or some macho bullshit#And I will be oblivious for the first 50% of it#because if there are gods they are cruel#He never realized he's actually the little spoon be nice and give him a minute#He can't tell me he likes me if he doesn't know he likes me but I opened a jar for him and asked him about his feelings and now he's warm#I actually ended up never dating many women at all because of weird lesbian mixed signals and things#At least not while they were women#I don't flirt or make friends I just decide that people are mine and start taking care of them [while respecting their autonomy and shit]#and I am starting to think this is how I make problems for myself#yes I am playing 5-d chess with gender and am now a he/they but it is not what it is cracked up to be
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I need to find someone who worded this better but. This is your friendly reminder that a woman can be as masculine as she wants. A man can be as feminine as he wants. A nonbinary person can be feminine and masculine and androgynous and whatever they want: everyone can! Your expression and appearance and hobbies etc do not have to conform within a box to be allowed to exist, do not have to match those rigid lines of societys expectation of gender roles in any way at all for you to Be the Gender you Are. You are the gender you feel you are. Your expression can be and is whatever you want, and does not have to match up to expectations.
#rant#gender#by this i mean: a woman can never want to have a baby. a man can love childcare#a woman can be butch and LOVE being a woman. a man can be feminine and love makeup and dresses and LOVE being a man#a nonbinary person can LOVE their beard and their suits and HATE#dresses and STILL BE NONBINARY#changing ones expression of masculinity and femininity to make yourself feel more awesome and happy? YAY#but also. many people have to be a certain amount masc or fem for societal pressures.#how many people wear makeup (a feminine expected activity) out of pressure and not joy#how many people NEVER wear a dress cause it will get them attacked or arrested in some places (even if they LOVE DRESSES)#their choice to wear makeup or to avoid dresses may not be THEIR preferred life. it may be the choice they make to fit in and avoid attack#if a trans person is not being respected at work pre hormones? is misgendered constantly? is disrespected?#then yes. hormones and gtowing a beard might finally get fucked up strangers to shut the fuck up#(also for many people the physical changes are cool and awesome! but its also like#a person should and does not Have to change anything physically or lifestyle wise for YOU to#believe them when they say im X gender. period)#i am a huge believer in people not needing to conform to stupid gender role boxes if they dont ficling want
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#My issue with side y discourse generally is when they say you shouldn't use queer lables because your identity in Christ should be first.#like yes it should but if you're also comfortable calling someone straight then you're being a hypocrite#because that is an identical kind of lable#and same with other labels! are you comfortable calling yourself your ethnicity? your age? your gender? your job title?#then you're doing the exact same thing and in none of those cases is it considered that you're not putting your identity in Christ first#if I said I'm british people wouldn't be like ooh you're prioritising being British above God#like I COULD but not by using the label itself#I'm British. I'm female. I'm 21. I'm straight.#vs I'm british. I'm female. I'm 21. I'm bisexual.#I think if people have an issue with the latter but not the former that logic just doesn't follow through#and i know some people are more comfortable saying SSA#which I totally respect#but a. I personally am not because it feels stigmatizing and b. that's still a label in the same way#idk man I just don't get this specific approach.#also I know that's not all side y. but it defo is some of them!!!
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I don't get why everyone's surprised that the brotherhood use the correct pronouns with Dane. I think people have forgotten a major aspect of the fallout environment. The bombs falling destroyed conventional societal norms. This includes any political agenda to erase trans people from history and the future. Also this is fiction. The brotherhood of steel are not a conservative christian political party. They care about what they dub "abuse of technology", this includes the biproducts thereof. The only people who fit that category are synths and mutants who they view as abominations that need to be exterminated. If trans people even counted as abuse of technology (which they don't and shouldn't, as the technology used for transition is helpful and not hurtful), they would be so far down the list the brotherhood wouldn't care. Why would they care. It's really not a big deal imo. It's a big deal in OUR world, but not theirs. Not by a long shot.
#fallout tv show#it's just weird to me as a trans person that this made such a huge fuss#really shows that people think it's radical to support non-binary people by simply using their pronouns#everyone's acting like it's out of character for them but it really isn't that wild#they still treat Dane like shit#like the rest of the squires#why would they care what pronoun someone goes by when the wasteland is so harsh#they have way bigger problems than someone going by they/them#and it's not like they're campaigning to protect trans people specifically#they just referred to someone correctly#we really need to raise the bar for trans support#cause if using nb pronouns is radical than oooh boy we're fucked#and I know most people prolly mean it as a joke#but it really rubs me the wrong way when people say its weird or doesn't make any sense#trans support doesn't begin and end with pronouns ok#the wasteland is not like this world. who the fuck cares what gender someone is when you could get killed by a cockroach the next day#besides it's not really the brotherhood that's respecting their pronouns it's the show writers and that matters more#anyway hope you enjoyed my rant#please raise your standards for trans support all your trans friends and family will thank you for it
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its so fucking disheartening realising that no one actually sees me as a guy, they just pretend to - and yeah its great being called theo but its less great being lumped in as one of the girls in the same breath
#i dont mind being the only non-girl invited to something (like my sisters hens for example) bc that just feels like a Gay thing yknow#but when the invite is 'hey girls' its kind of hard to consider that you see me as anything else#and i think the worst part - and this is probably the part of me that lacks self respect - is that i get it.#i have long hair i dress 'fem' and the only steps ive managed to take in my transition are wearing a binder and going by a different name.#so sure. but its still gutting and makes me feel fucking /gross/ makes my stomach hurt and my skin crawl#because like. theyll call me theo and a brother and an uncle and a son but?? do they even mean it??#do they actually believe what theyre saying or is everyone just going along with it because they dont want to look like assholes?#i almost prefer my uncle whos at least UPFRONT about not understanding it#like at least hes honest at least when he calls me a girl i expect it#i just wanna curl up w my nephew and read bc at least he doesnt even understand gender yet#to him i AM just his uncle and thats all he cares about#captain speaks
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Zoro knows what transgender is because he drunkenly lets drag queens and butches try to explain gender to him in gay bars and at parties
Sanji knows what transgender is because the brave citizens of the Kamabaka Kingdom forcibly educated him
Luffy does not know what transgender is because he thought you would grow a dick when you hit puberty if you wanted to be a boy (what sabo and ace told him when they were nine) and assumed tits worked the same way
#getting luffy to respect your gender: easy#getting luffy to understand what transgender means: hellish#zoro also does not have a thorough understanding of transgender either because he was absolutely hammered every time it was explained to hi#he heard about it for the first time and was like this shit is sick kuina should hear about this#zoro writing to kuina from the grand line: became a pirate. fought mihawk and he kicked my ass and gave me a huge scar it was great.#hey did you know boys can become girls and girls can become boys. cool right? anyway im still gonna be the greatest swordsman#koshiro reading it to her grave like: i will never understand that boy. god bless#mine#posting#not smut
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