#you showed him he has inherent value and doesn't have to be or do anything extraordinary to be loved

[moraxsthrone]

No thoughts head empty, just Kaeya gently running a hand through your hair as you both lie down on the couch with a warm blanket sharing stories and drinks. Body relaxed, mind at ease.

His thumb rubs at your arm lovingly with a tiny smile as you recount something funny that happened a few days ago. He loves seeing you smile, loves to hear your laugh and excited rambling.

He kisses your forehead and chuckles at the blush that blooms on your cheeks, but you just feel so happy, so warm.

This is nice...

hhhhhhhh crys!! you always put the prettiest, loveliest images in my mind of my faves.

just...spending quality time alone w kaeya like this, enjoying a couple of cocktails at home together while exchanging stories and laughs. mindlessly twirling a strand of his long, blue hair around your fingers as you recount and bemoan the sheer lack of competence you have to deal with at work some days. and he reminds you in his pleasant, melodic voice,

"just remember, my love...stupidity is job security,"

sending you into another fit of chuckles because he's so right?? then you shake your head while telling him how entertained you are by his way with words sometimes. and it makes him smile back at you bc hearing you say the things you like about him warms his once-icy heart. he secretly hopes that you never get tired of him and his cheeky antics, not knowing that his playfulness is one of the things that made you fall in love with him in the first place.

[transmutationisms]

…so can you expand on the psychological ramifications of stewy being in private equity? that has definitely been lost on me given that i barely understand what private equity is

ok this is an underrated funny aspect of the show imo, and also good insight into stewy and kendall. i'm trying to spare you a bunch of stupid business jargon but basically, maesbury capital (which stewy represents but sandy/sandi ultimately own) is a private equity fund, meaning it's a big pile of a bunch of rich people's money, and stewy's job is to take that money and invest in private companies. a PE fund can invest at a few different points: at the very beginning of a startup's life (venture or angel investing), at a point where the company is trying to grow or restructure (growth investing), or when a company is struggling financially, in which case the fund is usually planning to either dismantle it and sell it for scrap, restructure and go public, or sell it for cash to another company. PE firms like to present themselves as doing a lot of growth or venture investing, but in truth many/most are primarily engaging in this third category of investment strategies, because they're lucrative (and because many startups are stupid, and only good for generating investor payouts).

so, when kendall went and dismantled vaulter in season 2 because logan decided that selling most of it for scrap would be more profitable? that's basically a dramatisation of what stewy does routinely, except of course the exact financial instruments and strategies will differ because stewy represents a PE firm. like, if kendall's venture capitalist schemes tell us about his delusions of creating cool new products and services, stewy is sort of the opposite because his structural goal is usually to dismantle companies and liquidate them however is best for maesbury's backers. it's a total destruction of all use-value and a conversion of it into pure exchange-value in the form of capital (which goes into his pockets and maesbury's). stewy generates money by destroying utility, which is perverse if you think capitalism is supposed to create and sustain human life, but actually completely comprehensible if you understand that capitalism is an insatiable growth machine with inherently contradictory internal tendencies and no raison d'être beyond the endless accumulation of pure capital itself.

many viewers think stewy is insane because he is friends with kendall roy. this is true, but on a deeper level stewy is insane because his job is to participate in the inexorable tendency to more and more abstraction in the capitalist mode of production. it literally does not matter at all to someone like stewy whether people are fed or clothed or happy, or have any of their needs met. the point is solely to create money, to turn all social forms and values into numbers on a balance sheet. this is why, when kendall tries to threaten him on axos at the end of season 2, stewy is able to casually tell him that "it doesn't matter; it doesn't mean anything." he and sandy are convincing shareholders that their offer will be able to make them more money, "and that's all that this is." stewy speaks the language of business differently than logan, because stewy doesn't care about dick-swinging competitions or demonstrating dominance in logan's cringey old catholic military way. which makes stewy more rational in certain ways, but also more insane, in that he operates in a way totally detached from this type of social value system and solely motivated by cold hard numbers.

the irony is that, whilst being detached and disembodied in his business practices, stewy is also better than the roys at appreciating the material fruits of wealth. he eats; he dresses well; he enjoys the "several houses" he owns. kendall is always trying to come up with some grand moral bullshit masculinity reason that what he's doing is noble or whatever, and he's alienated from his body and afflicted with severe catholic martyr disease. stewy just bypasses all that shit, measures his success by his payouts, and enjoys wealth because he sees it as an end in itself and not a means to logan roy's respect.

this is also why kendall's line in 'living+' about "it's enough to make you lose your faith in capitalism" is so funny. kendall can't just accept that business is a bunch of meaningless bullshit confidence games played by coked-up assholes who like to win; he always has to try to convince himself he's making cool new tech shit, or saving the world from the spectre of death itself or some shit. it's like, insane that he made it to literally 40 years old, growing up in a media conglomerate of all things, and still thinks that what he's doing requires actual skill or creates actual social value—but of course, part of the reason he still thinks this is because he deified logan and was therefore incapable of ever seeing logan or waystar for what they really were. stewy would never say that line because he can't be disillusioned this way on account of he already knows the whole thing is bullshit. it's just that to him it doesn't matter, because being bullshit does not preclude it from paying well.

[commsroom]

memoria is incredibly close to my heart, but when i listen to it now, it's hard not to think about the undertones re: how therapy as an institution handles disability. maxwell's objective was always to help hera get back to work, to find accommodations she could function under, or otherwise to replace her. "i'm sorry you feel like you can't do your job." maxwell presents her solutions in a less hostile framing, but her methods are the same ones cutter threatens hera with in her live show performance review (re: deleting her memories) and it's something she intends to do regardless of hera's consent. maxwell's practice aligns with goddard's interests, and of course it does. there's something about therapy as maintenance, and the treatment of the disabled mind and/or body as a broken machine.

hera is used to being condescended to and taunted for her limitations ("we all have our limits. you can't do what you can't do. it's not your fault.") and that intersects with her trauma ("i can't do this. i'm not good enough.") in a way that inherently ties her self worth to her ability to be useful and perform a job. as a result, she has a gut reaction to and a resistance to anyone suggesting she might not be capable of something, or that she might need help, and that makes her constantly push herself past her limits, causing real damage. the problem is that hera is disabled, there are things she can't do, and she hasn't been given the security or compassion to really come to terms with that. no amount of ways to manage doing her job will really help the core problem; she needs to be able to separate her concept of self worth from her productivity. "we get things wrong, and we get better." is a nice sentiment, but i think it applies more to interpersonal conflict than physical burnout. hera even directly calls back to and casts doubt on that specific line later in the show.

that's why eiffel matters so much to hera. when eiffel says "you can do anything" - he believes that, he has that kind of sincere faith in all of his friends, but he means it even when it's disproven. he's seen her fail. he's seen her make mistakes. it doesn't matter because it isn't about what he expects of her, it's about who she is to him. minkowski is the commander, even when she's not. hera can do anything, even when she can't. eiffel values people, not their jobs. if hera didn't have a supercomputer for a brain, she would still be the same to him; it's who she is and her companionship that he wants. i'm not saying that what maxwell did for hera was useless - it's effective therapy that gave her a clearer understanding of herself, and a framework to understand what's been happening to her; that's extremely valuable. but that alone would not have been enough. what hera thinks of at the end of memoria, what actually pulls her through, is the support and care that eiffel and minkowski continually show to her.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

One of my favourite things about Deep Space Nine is imagining how Sisko's superiors must have been reacting to his shenanigans behind the scenes.

I mean just imagine it.

You're an admiral or something in Starfleet. You belong to an organisation that spans half the galaxy, has access to unimaginable (to many civilisations) levels of technology, and contains numerous different cultures.

You are well aware that the power and technological advancement of the Federation makes you inherently dangerous to less technologically advanced peoples. Like the moment any group is introduced to you, the development of their species is basically going to be changed forever. A single individual fucking around can, if careless, negatively impact an entire world.

Avoiding this kind of thing is therefore one of the core values of your civilisation. Your Prime Directive. There are huge lists of rules and regulations over when it is an isn't appropriate to intervene. People have literally died rather than break them.

And then there's this one world, whose people have only just overthrown an oppressive regime and are looking to join your Federation. You and your colleagues vote to help them rebuild, while steering clear of interfering with any of their politics, of course, and send some of your guys over to help administrate.

One of those guys then goes and DECLARES HIMSELF A GOD.

Like, we, the audience, know that Sisko was chosen by the Worm-Hole Aliens to be their Emissary. We know that he struggled with accepting the role at first and that he had visions and eventually came around to whole-heartedly believing in the Bajoran religion.

But Starfleet doesn't know that! Starfleet isn't inside Sisko's head!

From Starfleet's perspective the most logical explanation for all this is that they sent some guy to the back of beyond, the local people got him involved in their religion and then he either went crazy or saw an opportunity to gain power, and now he can impact the entire planet's political decisions on a fucking whim and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

I mean, this has to be every higher-up's worst nightmare, right? This is the sort of extreme scenario they'd come up with in school textbooks to explain to children why the Prime Directive is necessary.

If the Dominion War hadn't happened, Sisko's main legacy in the Federation would have been "the reason why we have all these extra regulations about interfering with non-Federation worlds, and why all Starfleet Captains operating in the vicinity of such worlds have mandatory psych evaluations every couple of months."

And they can't even do anything about it! They can't remove him and replace him with another Officer, because the local people are 100% on board with this 'Sisko's the Messiah' thing and won't work with anyone else. You can't back away from the situation entirely and give them a few years to repair the damage because it's super critical for the war you're currently fighting.

You can't even really control Sisko, because although he makes a show of being The Good Starfleet Captain, in practice there's always a risk that if you say something he disagrees with too strongly he'll just go off piste and do something else entirely and justify it with: "the Prophets told me to".

Which, again, the audience knows is a very real thing that is actually happening to Sisko, but from Starfleet's perspective could be anything from "Sisko is hearing voices" to "Sisko is legit just pulling things from his ass and trusting that we won't risk pissing off the Bajorans by contradicting him."

Just saying, from the perspective of the Federation, Sisko is probably as well-known a cautionary tale as he is a hero.

[lavenderprose]

I have a lot of thoughts and opinions about people calling Izzy homophobic because honestly I can ALMOST see where they're coming from. Izzy Hands experiences internalized homophobia on a level that is almost sickening to comprehend and that much is obvious from the way he talks to Lucius and, to a certain extent, Stede. His 'toxic' masculinity is a symptom of that but I have my own specific headcanons about that which I'll keep to myself at this particular point; I may very well elaborate at a later time. All I'll say here is that I personally headcanon Izzy as being trans, and though I understand that that's purely a headcanon, it does add some layers to his character.

That being said, I feel like Izzy is operating from a place of "There is ONE safe way to be a man who has sex with men." It's the one he's learned and has been obeying the rules of for probably his whole life. More than likely he's seen the consequences of...not doing it that way. This is something about him that I feel people tend to overlook, especially those who already have bad faith interpretations of his character. They like to use the piracy = queerness metaphor where 'traditional' (Izzy's) piracy is compulsory heterosexuality and the Revenge's (Stede's) piracy is glorious queer freedom, but I don't really agree with that. In this show, piracy is piracy and queerness is queerness. You don't need a metaphor for something that's explicit in the narration.

Izzy (And maybe even Ed, though I hesitate more with this interpretation for him) is a gay (Possibly trans, if you wish) man who thinks he knows exactly how you're supposed to live in order to Survive Being Queer. There are many real life people like him who are good and valued members of our community, but who balk at our current openness because it seems dangerous to them. Like, actively life-threatening. And yeah he's mean about it and he doesn't necessarily need to be. But you'd probably be a little mean if everyone around you was telling you to ignore every layer of protection you've ever wrapped around yourself because you don't need that anymore! It's silly and reductive to think that way! Get with the times!

And that's not to say that either party is in the wrong. That's kind of the whole point; Izzy struggles with the Revenge crew so much because from his point of view, his reasoning and fears are very valid, while Lucius and Stede et al. feel that they are reductive and old-fashioned, and neither side of the debate is inherently wrong in feeling that way.

While I don't think that this is necessarily the intended motivation for Izzy as a character (Honestly, where the writers are concerned, I don't think any of this is That Deep) it's definitely an interpretation that I feel helps to explain his motivations and the choices he makes in the show, if you're so inclined to view him as anything other than a villain. He's a queer elder who hasn't learned yet that he can maybe just a little bit STOP white-knuckling the performative masculinity that he's been clinging to to keep himself safe.

[cosmicjoke]

Why in God's name are so many people on this site obsessed with Levi's sexuality? What the fuck difference does it make to anything? I swear, I'm this close to turning off anon asks, because nobody will shut up about it. Stop projecting. Just because you're obsessed with your own sexuality doesn't mean everyone and everything has to be like you in order to have value. I think that's the thing that pisses me off the most. These people only seem to care whether Levi likes men or women, and nothing else about his character is worth discussing or caring about. He's literally just an avatar to them, to use as a stand-in for themselves or as a stand-in for their fantasies. Fucking write your own OC if seeing yourself "represented" is so important to you.

Anyway, I've got some news for these people. Levi is an ideal man. He isn't really like anybody. He represents the hero archetype within the story of "Attack on Titan", and so few people in reality are actually heroes. How many of us would actually be willing to do what Levi does? Give up our entire life for the sake of others? Give ourselves over completely to the dreams of others? Live our life entirely for others? He's more like what people should strive to be, rather than what they are. It makes him not so much relatable in terms of us seeing ourselves in him, but more so relatable in being what we all wish we could be.

Certainly, some qualities of Levi's may be relatable, such as his social awkwardness, his difficulty expressing himself in words, his violent temper, etc... But the core of him, the essence of who he is, is idyllic. The depth of his compassion and selflessness, that's what matters most about Levi. That's what defines him. Not whether he's sexually attracted to men or women. But not many people can claim for themselves that level of empathy and generosity, so instead they latch on to what they can relate to. They become obsessed with whether Levi is queer or not, and if he's not, then apparently he isn't worth shit.

Anyway, yeah, I've just had it with these idiots. Stop asking me about Levi's sexuality. I don't care what it is. We don't know what it is, and it doesn't matter. Stop acting like you do know. You don't. It shouldn't ever matter to anyone. The fact you think it does, the fact it's the obviously most essential and important aspect of his character to you (even though it's a completely irrelevant and unknown aspect of his character), shows your own, inherent bias. You're unable to accept anyone who isn't like you. You have to make every character into yourself. Just stop. It's unbearably tedious and stupid.

[collidescopeeyes]

HCs of Aatrox as a weapon and a reader who is his user please 😭🙏

Aatrox with wielder!Reader

- Look there's gotta be a whole character arc here before he's in a state to exist around other people. He's a man trapped inside a sword trying to escape the very nature of his existence by destroying the world and by extension himself, thereby trapping himself in a nightmarish cycle of violence and pain with no respite. Like, all he's done for the last few centuries was possess some poor fool, go on an apocalyptic warpath, get killed, and be stuck back in the suffocating sensory deprivation tank of his sword form until someone new picks him up, rinse repeat.

- You find him in sword form, but much like Kayn and Rhaast he doesn't manage to overcome you–except instead of using him to murder people, you just kinda lug him around and show him all the nice things about living (cuz honestly, leaving him there would be kind of fucked up).

- Being put in forcible time out, he very reluctantly is forced to admit that maybe existence isn't all pain and okay, yeah, maybe there is inherent value in life. The hot springs are nice, he guesses. Human, bring him to the hot springs again.

- He's gonna be a huge bitch for a while let's be real, like full tilt raging complete with threats of grievous bodily harm (and he can be a real bitch when he wants to be, have you heard some of his voice lines??). At the same time, he's terrified you'll leave him so he still tries to go the ‘temptation of power, just give in’ route, and generally emphasizes how powerful he is and how useful he can be.

- Eventually you go from being you, human, to his human. He hasn't had a social interaction that did not end with someone dying in literal centuries, much less a friend. Like he still bitches but instead of threatening you, he starts threatening anything that threatens you, which he defends with the idea that he's the only one worthy of killing you. You learn not to take it personally, your giant sword with a disembodied heart set into the hilt is a tsundere, this is your life now.

- ‘ive only had this human for two months and if anything happens to them I'm killing everyone in this plane of existence and then myself’, but to be fair that last part was his plan to begin with. Anything even begins to threaten you and it's fire and brimstone from him–unfortunately, he can't exactly do much as a sword other than beg you to use him to slaughter anyone who so much as says a harsh word to you.

- The longer you wield him, the more he becomes attuned to you–which is new to him, because Darkin usually don't have a wielder without them becoming a full host for this long, and even then the wielder is usually trying to suppress them. With you, Aatrox gradually gets his senses back–unlike Naafiri and Rhaast, his sword form doesn't come with eyes, so he basically has to magically parasitize your vision and see through your eyes. Gradually this extends to other senses too–hell of a shock to him when he starts to feel your pain. Eventually, he gets his own sense of touch back, which is kinda weird since his body is a sword now, but it's still leagues better than eternal numbness. Even if he's not really sure how to process that he can feel you literally holding his disembodied heart in your hands.

- His grand plan was to accumulate the blood from every rare instance you were forced to use him to defend yourself in order to build himself a new body and then kill you with it. The plan is amended to killing you in your sleep, cuz he likes you, even if he doesn't want to admit it. It takes literally until he's standing over you that he realizes ‘I don't….actually want to do this,’ and he has zero follow up plan or capacity for self reflection so he just stands there like a weirdo. And then you wake up.

- “Are you gonna kill me?” “....no.” “Okay, cool, I'm going back to sleep.”

- You start travelling together like normal people then, except y'know, being in human form is pretty taxing so a decent chunk of the time he just...stays a sword. This is a huge gesture of trust from him, knowing that if you happen to put him down he'll be put back into a prison of his own body, but also you've kinda earned his trust in this matter since you could've left him to suffer at any point before now and didn't. He still acts like it's some sort of honor for you to be wielding him, but you've also earned his respect by this point so the ‘puny human’ talk has pretty much evaporated.

- His protectiveness gets worse once he has a body to act independently with, but not as much as you'd think–he respects your wishes and genuinely doesn't want to upset you, so he won't hurt anyone you don't want him to (...too bad)–though he will intimidate the everliving fuck out of anyone he thinks is a threat to you. He does actually still have a pretty robust sense of right and wrong–it’s just that he didn't give a fuck about it in the face of escaping the torture of his existence. Now you're that escape, and he'll defend you with the same visciousness that he killed literal gods with.

- He does not have any frame of reference for romance. He only sort of remembers being Ascended, and barely if at all being human before that–and in all that time he was a soldier through and through, devoted to his duty above all. He doesn't even know that he's caught feelings. Like he wants to be close to you all the time (and other urges he shall not be examining), but that's normal right?? You've been carrying him around for months now, surely it's because of that. He also hasn't had anyone touch him without also trying to kill him in centuries, forget that he can actually feel it now–surely that's why the slightest touch from you makes his heart skip a beat (you can literally see it, it's right there in the sword). It's normal. He's being super normal. Denial is just a river in Shurima.

- Point being, the man is oblivious, and even if he wasn't, he has no fucking idea what he's doing and he has a boatload of unresolved self-esteem issues. You're gonna have to make the first move and you're gonna have to be very forward and upfront with him. He's gonna freeze, Aatrox.exe is working overtime; internally he goes from ‘tf do you mean I have feelings’ to ‘tf do you mean I have feelings for a human’ to ‘well obviously this is my human, she's special, why wouldn't I have feelings for her’ to ‘me?? Why the fuck does she want me??’ to finally deciding that he would have to be clinically insane to turn you down (putting aside that he thinks there's a very real chance that he is in fact insane, but he's working on that).

- Not that he knows how to be in a relationship. Mutual respect and communication can go a long way to figuring stuff like this out, but it's pretty obvious he's out of his depth–he’s struggling to adjust to existing in general, and he's got centuries of trauma and a barely repressed anger management issue. It helps that he knows you're on his side (and that he's probably already made every threat under the sun when you first met), but the man doesn't exactly have a lot of practice dealing with his frustration in a healthy way. Patience is essential here–he’s trying, and he will get better with time and understanding.

- He's actually super self conscious about his body–in his eyes, it's a twisted, filthy reminder of what he used to be. Without a compatible host, Darkin bodies start to break down without fresh blood to sustain them, and he can't help but compare it to how he used to be before the Void war. His form is stable with you, but he still has a whole lot of negative associations. You've got your work cut out for you if you want to convince him he's not some sort of malformed disgusting beast–he’s very much of the opinion that you're some kind of saint for wanting him despite what he looks like.

- Despite all that, physical closeness is a big thing in his culture, plus he's touch starved and will take any opportunity to have you close. If you're not doing anything he'll literally just pick you up and deposit you on his lap so he can be close to you. If he's in sword form, he'll sulk if you put him down for even a moment. It's funny though, because as much as he passively demands attention like some sort of large spiky cat, he also gets really flustered if you're affectionate with him. He's also a huge tsundere though, so him being flustered mostly involves stammered yelling (he’s actually kind of awkward, when he's not being intimidating–re his joke lines).

- Darkin run hot as a consequence of the hemomancy their bodies are made up of–in particular, the area over his heart is very warm. He doesn't visibly blush per se, but the glow of his heart gets more radiant when he's flustered, and he gets noticably warmer. The dark plated parts of him are hard and bone-like with the slightest bit of give, whereas the red parts feel like normal skin if slightly thicker. He has a habit of only touching you with his unplated left hand–the other one has a lot of jagged edges and he worries he'll accidentally cut you (plus, the plated parts feel less). Since his form is fairly stable with you he can manifest his wings fairly consistently, but he's stuck at a (relatively) meager 9ft tall without absorbing any new bodies. His wings are more batlike than anything, and the webbing is extremely sensitive.

- In Ancient Shuriman custom, marriage is a social arrangement wherein a couple is considered married as soon as they start living together, no ceremony or paperwork required (fun fact: actual ancient egyptian custom!). Most couples have this accompanied with a legalized property agreement, but Aatrox was raised into a warrior caste that doesn't have a concept of private property, and he doesn't currently have much of a use for possessions anyway. This is all to say Aatrox considers you to be married and you have no idea until he offhandedly refers to you as his wife.

- All that being said, he still has an extreme sense of duty to his follow Darkin, being about as close to a leader as they have left after the war and their sealing. He feels an obligation to find a way to alleviate their suffering, either by finding them hosts, undoing their binding into weapons, or finding a way to kill them and have them actually stay dead. It's a grim task and it's pretty important to him to have your support in it, however you want to approach it.

[imaginarylungfish]

my thoughts on the end of mha

i've had a few weeks to process the ending of mha now. when i first heard there were only 5 chapters left, i was shocked. i thought when hori said he had more story to tell, we were gonna get like 10 more chapters or something. so yeah, i felt like i got some whiplash there.

but after i had some time to recover from my shock, i got sad. this manga has brightened many a sunday for me. sure, i understand the criticism of the final war arc, but i can't say i was ever bored. i always wanted to know what was happening next.

and while i was sad the villains didn't live/we didn't see a rehab arc for them nor did we see much emotional processing by certain characters after the war, i understand this manga couldn't go on forever to adequately tackle all those stories. that's what fics are for, i guess.

izuku's ending

a really big thing i liked about the ending was izuku becoming quirkless again. that's what i wanted. i have some gripes with the execution, though. it was weird that izuku didn't show any emotion about losing ofa except in the battle. i still think that was a bit of a fumble on hori's part. you're telling me the kid who cries about everything wouldn't cry about losing something that let him live his dream? just seemed ooc.

but anyway, izuku ending as a quirkless hero was exactly what i wanted. that's exactly the way to conclude his whole arc. however, unless you fill in the blanks with headcanons, the impact of that arc is a bit lost on the reader. do we see izuku's acceptance of his inherent worthiness of being a hero (due to his unwavering spirit rather than the need for a quirk)? we don't. do we see society's acceptance of quirkless people as inherently equal to people with quirks? we don't. we must fill in the blanks ourselves. and i just don't think that type of fill-in-the-blank should happen. we should get that from the mangaka.

i also found it weird that izuku became a teacher at ua and then a quirkless hero. i understand there was some fun shock value/bait-and-switch to this little plot point (which i have to admit was amusing). but it kind of just didn't make narrative sense to me once i had my little laugh. like, pick one, hori. does izuku lose his quirk and become a ua teacher or does he lose his quirk and become a quirkless hero? having both muddies the waters.

we knew mha was going to end in a hopeful way. that's what this manga was about. it was all about trying and pushing past limits to succeed, despite the odds. i knew it wasn't going to end with izuku being depressed or anything. he was going to be happy in the end, whether he ended up as a quirkless teacher or quirkless hero because that's just who he is--he doesn't give up. so, i wish that was more of the focus of the last chapters since izuku is the protag after all. but i got the big thing i wanted (which is more than some others can say), so i can't complain too much.

katsuki's ending

i'm actually really satisfied with kastuki's ending (and his whole character arc, honestly). katsuki's whole thing was that he felt inferior to izuku his entire life because of izuku's innate heroism. so, katsuki bullied izuku to make himself feel better since katsuki always felt like he needed to be the best. but slowly, we see katsuki's worldview change as he enters ua high, fails the provisional licensing exam, and sees izuku's continued mastery of his quirks.

throughout the manga, katsuki has to grow up and mature. he has to realize that while he was born with something that makes him a great hero (his quirk), that's not all that it takes to be a great hero. and in fact, izuku has the other part (empathy and determination).

katsuki learns how to be more of a team player and less self-centered. he balances out his need to win and be the best with including others in his thought processes. enough so that he sacrifices himself for izuku, apologies to izuku, and gives izuku the final push in the war.

katsuki shows emotional growth and maturity throughout the manga which i think culminates not only in the final chapter but also in his reaction to hearing the news that izuku lost ofa. his show of emotion is big for him since we know this is not something he normally does. (i still can't believe we saw katsuki of all people cry after the war, but not izuku. ugh, i'll forever be salty about that.)

it's made clear in the final chapters through his words and actions that katsuki cares about izuku. he not only verbally expresses to izuku that he is sad they can't compete anymore, but he also checks in with izuku about how much of ofa he still has, and ultimately, works to get izuku's dream back. if that ain't redemption, i don't know what is.

so with one of the last panels of the manga being katsuki reaching out his hand to izuku (!!!), calling him deku to reinforce izuku's heroism? what a great conclusion. i am satisfied. thanks, hori.

(plus, there were no canon ships which i'm happy about. that's something that i'm glad hori left up to interpretation. now, we can all go read fics with our favorite ships without too much retconning. i think we all won in that regard.)

shoto's ending

i love shoto, so i will always want more of him. but i think that's exactly why i'm fine with his ending. i don't see it like an ending. it's a start for him. he finally gets to be himself, to be shoto. sure, he still probably has a long way to go in terms of getting over his family trauma, but throughout the manga, i think we get to see his growth in that regard which culminates with his battle with dabi and subsequent aftermath.

his story was always tied to his family's story, which made him a complex character. and while i can't say i loved everything that hori did with the todoroki family, i do like what he did for shoto individually.

i will always love shoto's thoughts during his fight with dabi. i think it exemplified his character growth. he was such an angry, cold teen when he entered ua. but he learned how to make friends, accept his trauma, and become his own person. throughout the manga, he learns how to interact with others in the way he wants. despite his treatment as a child (ie. abuse), he decides to reconnect with his mom and work with endeavor. but the main thing is that he chooses it. he gets to dictate what he does now. that's huge for him.

i particularly loved the scene where shoto says he just wants to talk with dabi/touya during their fight. it reminded me of a little kid who just wants to get to know his big brother. but also it showed the maturity shoto gained throughout the story. instead of avoiding things like he originally did at the beginning of the manga, he wants to face them head-on. he has learned talking with others and gaining new perspectives is helpful and that arguments, even though unpleasant, can be productive.

and like i said before, i have some gripe with how some pieces of the todoroki family arc ended. however, i was satisfied with shoto's ending. i loved the "favorite food convo" callback. touya's response was hopeful yet heartbreaking at the same time.

i do wish izuku and shoto talked after the war because i just think izuku would want to know how shoto's doing instead of whatever the fuck this was:

but again, overall i am satisfied.

ok i'm going to stop writing now. i already wrote more than i thought i would (and even added panels). i do have thoughts on ochaco's ending and other random things, but i think that's a post for a another day. i did the main three and that's good enough for now.

overall, i was satisfied with the ending of mha, especially after looking back on it with all pieces put together. the story impacted me in more ways than one and i look forward to re-reading and learning more in the future!

[finnlongman]

Keep thinking about that one KJ Charles interview where she's talking about the challenges of being a historical romance novelist when you sort of believe the whole aristocracy should've been executed, and the delicate balancing act of writing historically accurate and interesting characters who don't have awful politics and values. And, crucially, she challenged the typical rich love interest idea by asking, "But where does the money come from?"

Once you think about it, you can't stop thinking about it. Every historical romance I read now, I can tell whether the author has thought about it. Sometimes they've thought about it but tried not to deal with it and hoped we wouldn't notice that the rich aristocrat probably owns a plantation. Sometimes they've actually dealt with it. And sometimes they have not considered it and It Shows.

But I also don't want historical novels where characters have modern sensibilities! I want them to feel historical... I just also want the "desirable" characters to not be, you know, involved in the slave trade or whatever, because that seriously undermines everything the book is doing to make them seem attractive. (One does not generally read this flavour of historical romance for morally grey antiheroes, and even if you did, that would be a fairly tasteless way of developing such a character, imo.)

I really enjoyed a detail in one of Cat Sebastian's books where the love interest is a Quaker, and he refuses dessert because he's boycotting sugar. It's a way of signalling to us that this character has particular values, but one that's rooted in the historical context and doesn't feel like a modern character wearing period clothing. His Quakerism also influences a few other details – his use of first names rather than titles, for example – but it's not a major plot point and he's no intense political campaigner. It's just one facet of his character, and one that made me like him more.

This sort of thing becomes a problem, too, with medieval settings and retellings and anything where you start having to deal with kings. A king of some tiny little pseudohistorical country whose major concerns revolve around not getting invaded and ensuring his people survive the winter is a very different prospect from a king intent on conquering his neighbours and expanding his glorious kingdom, of course. Still a king, though. What do you do with that, if you're someone who doesn't approve of kings?

I ran into this problem with a book I was working on a few years back, and it's one of the reasons I shelved it. I was trying to write a book about community and friendship. I was also trying to write an Arthurian retelling. And while a brotherhood of knights is a great starting point for a story about community and friendship, in order to have knights, you need to have a king for them to pledge fealty to. Problematic. My Arthur figure did not believe in hierarchy, but the story demanded that he perpetuated one anyway, because it was baked into the building blocks of story I was using to build mine. Eventually I realised I could not write that story as an Arthurian retelling without stripping it of everything recognisably Arthurian, and set it aside to be remade into something else.

I still think about this, though. I think about my Bisclavret retelling, which by necessity has a king in it. Bisclavret is a story about feudal loyalty, about oaths, about hierarchies. Take that away and you no longer have Bisclavret; it is a story that cannot exist without a king for the knight-wolf to be loyal to. Does that mean that as a story it always inherently supports a monarchist ideal, though? Or is its portrayal of kingship (a relationship that is, crucially, reciprocal) sufficiently detached from colonialist systems of monarchy to be distinct from those?

What systems and ideals form the assumptions a story is rested on? What happens once you start to question them? Can you still tell the same stories once you ask where the money comes from, or why the king is owed loyalty? Or does there come a point where you realise there are ideas woven into the very fabric of those narratives that you can't see past?

I don't have answers. I'm just thinking aloud. Thinking about having written a book with a king who isn't the bad guy, and what that means when I approve of neither kings nor hierarchies in general. Thinking about writing the past with the eyes of the present. Thinking about the unexamined assumptions in so many historical novels I've read, and how it feels as a reader not to be able to stop examining them.

(I have also read a number of contemporary romance novels where, after working my way through half an author's backlist, I've been forced to acknowledge that despite everything, the author does in fact think rich people are inherently attractive. Not sure what the solution to that one is, but it's certainly a different, if related, problem.)

[lurafita]

WWE AU

Okay, so there was a time when I was a little obsessed with WWE. And for whatever reason, I just remembered that.

So, can you picture the guys in a setting like this? Doesn't even have to necessarily be wrestling, maybe more mixed martial arts. But there are cameras backstage and fights and lots of "entertainment".

That training fight scene with Alec and Magnus is living rent free in my head and I would just like more of that, you know?

As it always does, my brain went right to "backstory" Mode.

So, Alec was classicly trained, in a studio, with professional trainers and wrestling and other fighting styles have been practiced in his family for generations and are highly regarded. There is a philosophy to it, a feeling of honor.

Alec's parents actually weren’t happy when their son went to the WWE with his talents, but Alec argued that this might be able to help get the younger generation to look at the sport as something more than bashing each other for the entertainment value of the audience. (And, well, also money. Because while there is a familial wealth to the Lightwood name, Alec would like to be a bit more independent from them. And if he gets famous enough, gets his name out there, maybe he could open up an mma studio where he can then teach kids and adults alike the *real* sport.)

Magnus comes from a poor background and an even poorer neighborhood.

If you didn’t know how to defend yourself, you were prey.

When he was old enough to not be turned away by the guards immediately, he started fighting in underground rings for money.

Fighting was never anything more for him than a means to make enough money to eat and stuff.

One night, a wrestling manager looking for new talent happens to be at one of those underground rings and sees Magnus. He gets signed almost right away.

And just months later, Magnus has money and a measure of security and is rising in fame. Without the worries of his past nibbling at his heels, he lives it up.

Make it grand, make it a show, have some fun!

Fighting was never fun before. It was survival.

But now, Magnus *lives*.

And Alec thinks that Magnus is only in it for the show and the fame and the glory. That he has no respect for the art as it is.

And in a way, he is right.

Magnus doesn't respect the Art of fighting the way others in their line of work do. He didn’t learn it because he wanted to, but because he needed to. He will never feel the things that Alec does where fighting is concerned. But that doesn’t mean he doesn't have his own version of respect for it.

Once Alec understands that, he is even more in awe of Magnus than he was.

They both grow to learn and understand each other, without having to conform to the other's view.

Magnus will never be able to see fighting as something inherently good, but he respects that Alec does.

Alec will never see fighting as a mere tool, be he respects that Magnus does.

[nyaskitten]

Imperium is... interesting. Obviously Ninjago is NEVER known for going super in-depth in its commentary on things that are inherently wrong (like Vangelis' slavery) and while it doesn't do like a super deep dive into the inner-workings of Beatrix's fascist empire, it goes far enough to showcase Beatrix's rule as inherently wrong. One of her broadcasts literally says shit about not wanting cultures of previously separate realms to "clash" with those of Imperium.

Another interesting thing to note is I went back to the flashback segments of episode 18, and it seems while Imperium was far better back then, Levo's rule of the kingdom was also... kinda oppresive, he wasn't the pure noble ruler to precede Beatrix that most shows probably would have him be.

It could just be left at "model reusage" but at no point does a single Imperium citizen in these flashbacks wear anything BUT the standard Imperium clothing. However, we also do NOT see any of the job-indication tattoos on any of their faces. That means in-universe the Imperium dress code was likely made long before Beatrix, possibly even before Levo as well.

One other thing in relation to Levo and how he was also possibly a kind of bad person is how he calls Ras an outlander. He says "What could an outlander such as you do about it?" In a VERY clearly malicious way, which even gets Zeatrix to turn her head and kinda side-eye him, kinda raising an eyebrow. For her to react like that means she probably has not seen/witnessed her father talk to ANYONE like that before. It's probably not commonplace in olden Imperium to hold, or at least openly share, such potentially hateful values.

[mikerztmf]

two ppl asked and i shall deliver!! so have a whole essay about jake-centric drake 👍👍

the natural place to start talking about jake's feelings about drew is near the start of their friendship: the freshman scene in ep9. i think this scene (and ep11) is one of the few points where you can really tell what jake thinks of drew. and to sum it up, he thinks pretty highly of him.

it's never super obvious, but when you think about it, drew really meant so much to jake. because drew was really jake's first friend after middle school, the first person to ever accept him so easily. BUT, he couldn't necessarily tell drew that, bc he'd be forced to open up about his past and his passion for music (which is like. the one thing he doesn't want to do)

and imo, jake caring about drew (and henriam ofc but this ain't abt them) and genuinely wanting to be friends is sort of... integral to who he is as a character, in a way. jake changed himself to keep drew, bc he cared about what drew thought of him. whether or not he was right, jake assumed that drew would bully him/drop him if he ever found out that he liked music. jake didn't wanna lose drew, so he kept quiet and lied. it obviously wasn't RIGHT, but still, it's what he does.

once he got closer to the music club, things got way more complicated though, because jake's lies became more than just lies of omission. and eventually, he grew distant towards drew around eps8-10. HOWEVER, i dont think he was really aware that he was doing it, or that he was inherently being an asshole/bad friend on purpose???

i think that's proven in the drake fight. like, jake lied to protect his friendship with drew, but it obviously backfired on him in the long run ("how am i supposed to know anything about your passion when you don't tell me anything anymore!?"). so jake only actually realised his mistakes, especially how badly he treated drew in the past month of canon, when they were thrown in his face by DREW HIMSELF.

and you see jake himself be surprised before quickly cracking, because he realised that drew was right. he has been lying for years. and it's sorta important to think abt the words here. "if you care so much about your friends, jake, why don't you spit out the truth already?!" ...quickly followed by jake spitting out the truth. not only did (and probably still does) jake care about drew, but he also considered them friends! WHICH ALSO EXPLAINS "nice to know we were never really friends." "that's not...! drew..."

jake trying to defend himself shows that even after everything, he still viewed drew as a friend, and wanted drew to hear him out and stay in his life. like, idk, after he came clean, jake still cared about what drew thought, and hoped that he'd want to still be his friend too.

i talked abt this in my last essay, but jake was so broken up after the fight. sure, it looked like he'd moved on, but the way he thought he saw the jomies at the competition + the right now mep part just kinda proved that he hadn't. and idk, i can only imagine that it hurts - losing your first friend, and only having yourself to blame because you lied to his face in an attempt to keep him.

LMAO SO IDK i think jake sort of did value drew as a friend, and that maybe, just maybe, drake is not as unrequited as people think?? imo their issue wasn't really that it was one-sided, but bc they never told eachother how much they valued eachother (for whatever reason)

[cottoncandyafterdark]

Acting as a Big Sibling Figure to: Kyoka, Kenji, Q

Character(s): Kyoka Izumi; Kenji Miyazawa; Yumeno Kyuusaku/Q (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Tags: SFW, platonic, familial-ish, headcanons

Warnings: None

Notes: Originally posted on ao3 here; this is old and I'm not caught up with the manga now so sorry if anything seems strange

Kyoka (& Atsushi)

When Atsushi brought Kyoka to the Agency, your first thought, like everyone else's, was pretty much just that she was adorable. You didn't know much about what she had been through, but you were made vaguely aware that she had been an assassin for the Port Mafia, which you could hardly believe- she was just so young, and looked so cute and innocent.

You also soon realized that despite seeming distant and unemotional, she really is just a kid at heart- a kid who has already been through way too much in her life.

The first few times you tried to talk to her, she didn't exactly pull away or shut down or anything, but it was kind of hard to hold a conversation. She didn't do too well with small talk, and it was hard to figure out what to else to talk to her about.

So, it took a while, but with enough time and effort, Kyoka will start to open up to you a little, and you'll start to see her emotions shining through when she talks to you. She'll smile, just a tiny bit and for a few seconds at most, and it will feel like the greatest success of your life.

At that point, the hard part is basically over: once you've started connecting with her, it'll only get easier to get to know her properly from there.

You start taking her out to try doing some regular kid/teen stuff she hadn't gotten the chance to do in a long, long time, and maybe not ever for some of them- go to an arcade, see a movie, little things like that. She doesn't end up liking everything you two do, but she she still appreciates it every time.

Basically: relationship ended with Kouyou, now you are Kyoka's stand-in older sibling

Atsushi often joins you on these adventures if he isn't busy, since he's friends with Kyoka. You're happy to have him along; not only does he make Kyoka feel more comfortable, he probably hasn't gotten to do lots of those things either, so it's a good opportunity for both of them.

You can take them out to lunch if you want to, but you might end up having to put some limits on how much they can order because Kyoka will happily eat enough boiled tofu to bankrupt you.

You make sure that Kyoka and Atsushi both know that people care about them very deeply (it's you, you're people), and that they have inherent worth as humans and deserve to live a happy life. And the people in their pasts who hurt and traumatized them, and made them believe otherwise, better hope to never meet you because if you ever run into them those people will die by your hands.

Kenji

As soon as Kenji joined the Agency, not too long after you did, you knew he had to be protected. With that sunshine-y smile, those cute lil freckles, and that simplistic, some might say naive outlook on the world, how could you not? He's babey!

You might think that opinion would change a little the first time you were sent on a mission with him and you saw him toss a car around like it weighed nothing, but if anything, you were just more convinced afterwards. It was incredibly clear by then that he had no clue how cruel the world could be, and you didn't want him to learn that the hard way.

When you started hanging around him more, Kenji was, of course, immediately friendly and welcoming. You had no real trouble making friends with him, and over the next few weeks, the two of you quickly bonded.

You would show him around the city, helping him learn the layout so he wouldn't get lost, and introducing him to any "city things" he didn't know about yet.

"Money can be exchanged for goods and services" was surprisingly difficult to explain to him. Trying to explain why currency has value to someone who's not familiar with the concept is a nightmare.

Sometimes you would take him on little field trips on your days off. Museums, aquariums, parks- anything the city had to offer that he wouldn't have gotten to see back home.

His favorite place was the zoo. There were so many animals that he'd only heard about in stories, and some he'd never heard of at all before!

He also liked all the different kinds of food that were available in the city. Really liked them. You pretty quickly learned to only take him to cheap restaurants, otherwise he would empty your whole wallet in one meal.

This whole time, you were also trying to gently introduce him to the idea that maybe he shouldn't automatically trust every stranger he sees. You didn't think this would be a difficult concept to grasp, but he just didn't quite seem to get it. He knows there's bad people in the world, he isn't stupid, but he doesn't see why he should ever assume that someone is bad.

So, faced with that stubbornness, you just had to resolve to keep him safe by personally trying to make sure he didn't get too close to anyone who would use his kindness against him… and occasionally beating the crap out of anyone who would do anything to hurt him.

With how protective you are and how the two of you always seemed to be together, you started to occasionally be mistaken for his actual older sibling, and the other members of the Agency started jokingly calling you such as well. Kenji, for his part, quickly accepted this, and even started calling you nii/nee-chan.

Q

Obviously, you already knew it wouldn't be all sunshine and roses when you joined the Port Mafia. But even after everything you'd seen in the mafia, you couldn't help but feel a little sick to your stomach when you found out about Q.

A kid being locked up all the time, no family, no friends, no one looking out for them? No matter what they did, no one that young deserves to be treated like that. So, you decided to ignore your colleagues' warnings, and whenever you had some spare time, you started trying to talk to Q.

At first, they were mostly just confused, and maybe a little suspicious, as to why you were being so nice to them. No one spoke to them so kindly, so they figured you must have an ulterior motive, and they resisted your attempts to befriend them.

If you managed to keep at it for long enough without being invasive or pushy, though, eventually, little by little, the walls would start to come down. The suspicion and confusion slowly become curiosity, first. Q just wants to figure out why you're so insistent on being their friend. By the time they fully realize you really so just want to help them, they've already gotten attached to you.

They start to really look forward to your visits, and get upset if you can't come see them for more than a few days in a row.

When you do come see them after a long gap, they'll be mad at first, so it's recommended you bring them some snacks as a peace offering. They otherwise never get to have sweets, so their anger pretty much fades immediately as soon as they get their hands on some candy. After you've calmed them down, they'll want to hear all about whatever adventure you went on that kept you from them. Don't spare the violence if it was a mafia mission- that's their favorite part to hear about.

Eventually, the other members of the Mafia take notice that Q really likes you. They all know you're making regular visits to talk to the kid the whole time, but it takes a while before anyone sees you two hanging out and realizes that Q looks genuinely happy- and that Q is now even less happy than they were before whenever you aren't around.

It took some work convincing the higher-ups, but they eventually decided that just letting Q tag along with you around headquarters would keep the kid happy enough to prevent any unfortunate incidents. (You certainly still won't be allowed to take them anywhere outside headquarters without a damned good reason, sadly.)

The two of you quickly become a well-known duo, and people quickly learn that if they mess with one of you, they'll have to face the other's wrath. There's plenty of people in the mafia who lost friends, even family because of Q's ability, who are still holding a grudge, but God help them if they try to actually do something about it, because you will not let anyone harm this kid.

And if somebody, for whatever reason, tried to hurt you, Q would absolutely lose it. Considering the whole point of letting them hang around you was to keep them from hurting any other members of the mafia, this would ultimately be a situation you'd just have to defuse one way or another before it really broke bad, but it's at least nice to know that they care.

If Q ever was sent on another mission, you would be sent right along with them, to make sure they stay in line and it doesn't end up as a repeat of last time. If the two of you do a good enough job, you could get sent on more missions together- and if you keep succeeding, and Q behaves in general, you might even eventually be able to convince Mori to give them a little more freedom. After all, from the beginning, all you really wanted was to make their life a little better.

[aboutnavi]

I was brushing my teeth, reflecting about life, & my mind went back to AFTG and there is a scene on the first book that it has been stuck on my brain since I read the trilogy again this January and it's about Seth. Now, I know the fandom -in general- barely talk about Seth because Nora decided to kill him off for shock value and when people try to talk about him, it always comes back to 'he was a homophobic, disgusting piece of shit' which yes, valid but also, are we forgetting Aaron? The babyfication of Aaron in this fandom had everyone collectively forgetting he was exactly like Seth (even worse: towards his family!!!). Two wrongs doesn't make one right & I'm in no way justifying Seth's action but if we never talk about characters on AFTG just because they were problematic, we are not talking about any of them, ever (ok maybe some of them, but still).

My point is: the scene. Neil is confused as to why Seth hates Kevin -specifically him- so much, since Seth could get along with most people if he wanted and tried hard enough but he refused to give ground to Kevin & his answer is just so humanly heartbreaking it goes to my list of moments Nora did something right in AFTG. The scene goes like this:

Neil: Why do you hate him?

Seth: Because I'm sick of him getting everything he wants just because he's Kevin Day. Do you know what fame gets you, shitface? Everything. All he has to do is ask for it, and someone will give it to him. Doesn't matter what. Doesn't matter who. The world is dying to give him anything he wants. When he broke his hand, his fans cried for him. They flooded our locker room with letters and flowers. The amazing Kevin Day can't play anymore. Their lives were over. They'd grieve the loss forever. But tell me when's the last time anyone cried over you? Never, right? They're there for Kevin every step of the way, but where were they when we needed them?

Neil, stupidly: So you're jealous.

Seth: His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.

Neil first instinct is to say jealousy because jealousy is something he understands (he felt jealous of Kevin for having a future, for being able to play, for the talent, for the life he never got to live when his mother ran away, etc.) but for me what Seth is trying to portrait is more like the painful awareness that you get when you realize you're also worthy of love and care. Seth is such an unexplored character who had so much potential if Nora hadn't killed him for the sake of showing how Riko could be/was dangerous (and she could have done that in so many different ways!!!) & you can see that on, for example, Nora's post about his life. Seth was always the no-priority person, the kid no one payed attention to, the boy that if killed, not even his mother would come for the funeral. He was every aspect a Fox and he spent his entire life being told he was no one and to be able to say his life is not more important than mine shows so much development; the chance he had put on himself for being open to love, to care, to second and third chances... it was all there. It breaks my heart that he never got the chance to become something. & I do not believe he was an inherently bad person? They are so young in AFTG, all of them. Maybe Seth wasn't bad; maybe he was just twenty-two, you know?

& on the extra content when they tell Allison he died and she goes 'He called me not even an hour ago! He was drunk and rambling but he was happy for the first time in weeks. He was talking about how he finally thought graduating would be okay, about how he wanted me to help him look into grad schools. He wanted to go into social work and help people like he helps us. I know he wanted to die! Everyone knows he wanted to die! Every time he said he was done with life I walked away from him and every time he came chasing after me. This is the first time--he wanted to live.' breaks my heart.

Because, ok, Seth dies. Let's pretend it was a good idea for him to die to set some sort of impact on the story for a second. Except his death goes without much fuss. The shock Nora wanted is felt for maybe three seconds, in one paragraph in the last page of TFC and then we barely talk about Seth on TRK and TKM. Neil can't even understand how impactful was Seth's death - he only cares about how it will affect the game & his guilt is more about how Allison would feel towards him then sadness over losing a teammate - and this insight we get from Allison is from the extra content and not everyone goes on to read those so if Nora wanted something out of his death - pity, shock, sadness, or whatever - she should have put this scene IN THE BOOKS.

[electricbathsalt]

HELLO HI YOU MENTIONED CHISAKI HAVING A COMPLEX RELATIONSHIP WITH HUMANITY AND I AM HERE TO HAPPY RANT ABOUT IT

it's like 2:30am and i should have gone to bed a while ago so this is gonna be a lil incoherent probably but anyways. yes. 100% yes i love that. i have so many ideas bouncing around my head about chisaki not being human, or like getting some secondary quirk in a secondary quirk wave that *makes* him (in his eyes) less than/not quite human, and also i sometimes use it/its pronouns for him because Reasons (i am projecting my own use of it/its onto him), and I also headcanon him as a) FtMtX (third gender/maverique), b) aroallo and gay and romance-repulsed, and c) autistic + low emotional empathy, and all of those things would 100% play into having a complicated and not-entirely-positive relationship with humanity in general (and his own humanity!) ESPECIALLY given that he spent formative years in the yakuza, which is bound to be a wildly conservative organization and an environment EXTREMELY hostile to several of those core immutable traits. ykno?

anyways you mentioned him having a complex relationship to other people/humans and humanity in general like he doesn't consider himself one so that's what prompted this. also please rant back i want to hear e v e r y t h i n g

Oh my god oh my god YES!! Okay I actually just woke up (yes my sleep schedule is fucked rn) so this is most definitely not gonna be coherent either buuut bro that is SO SIMILAR TO EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKINGGG

Okay this is by far the most difficult topic for me to try to articulate/explain bc I don’t really know how to, but I will try my damndest!! Yes. I think Chisaki has a very, very complicated relationship with both his own humanity and humanity as whole, in the way that he like. Does not view himself as human, and does not think of humans as the same as him, because they are on, like, separate playing fields. It’s not that he necessarily thinks of everyone else as worthless, or that he’s above them inherently (unequal)—he believes himself to be in a sort of limbo. He is neither worthless nor worthy. He is not human, therefore he cannot adhere to the same principles and standards of humanity. He is not human, and that is why he is never treated like one.

I think he subconsciously detached himself from it. He hated how the one person he (subconsciously) thought would one day view him as human and accept him, called him a monster and outcast him, like everyone else. The one person who showed him kindness with no catch (in his mind, because… yikes). That’s when he fully accepted that he’ll never be seen as human, that he is not human, and will never be treated like something with value/emotion, like something mortal and thinking and multi-dimensional, which is why he finally decided to just take matters into his own hands, with no regard to anything else. Why follow the morals of humans if he is not one? You don’t expect a wild animal not to maul you. Because for an animal, it is necessary. There’s no malice. They hunt and kill you because they need to eat and feed and protect. Is that not him? Is he not doing all this out of necessity? To keep himself and his family alive?

(Although, he doesn’t perceive himself as an animal. Just as not human). He believes he can’t be human. He believes he can no longer allow himself to be human anyway, because being human is too large an obstacle to his goals. He has to be a monster.

And kinda on the side of how he perceives other humans—it’s like, he’s more vital than them to the plan (which is the most important thing in the world), so he is above them in the way they are pawns whereas the plan cannot happen without him and Eri. But it’s dependent on his quirk, bc without his quirk, he is no longer Overhaul, who is the one who is vital to the plan; he is just Chisaki Kai. Chisaki Kai was not vital to anything and was just some not-really-human with a debt to pay off. Chisaki Kai is not worthwhile. Chisaki Kai is below other, real humans. So it’s split—Overhaul is above everyone else (in importance, in the fact he is not human. He is a monster). Chisaki Kai is below everyone else (he is indebted and clinging to the dregs of humanity he wants to have). The common ground is that both Overhaul and Chisaki Kai are inhuman accessories to the Shie Hassaikai. The Shie Hassaikai is more important than them.

He does not yearn to be human, he yearns for the casual acceptance and belonging that comes alongside being human. Humans have never treated him like how they treat other humans. He is not human.

Uggfhhhh I can’t tell if I’m explaining this exactly how I mean it. My vocabulary is just lacking I fear 😭 I have trouble streamlining my thoughts a lot. I feel like I have more to say but no way to properly express it, I guess. Also all your headcanons are extremely real and definitely add onto this/play a part in it!! I cannot imagine that the Yakuza would be all that accepting/an at all safe environment (ah. Well. That’s not true bc I have lol. I don’t like making sad stories 💀 but in canon… definitely not. Especially with Pops’ apparent falling-out with his daughter over her marriage 😒).

I don’t know if this all is what you had in mind or not but I think it has at least some semblance to what I think some of his mindsets are. My brain is a lil fried though. Also please please please elaborate. On everything. I wanna hear all your takes

[goemon-fan]

I lament what Part 1 could have been, and I especially am upset about how fast Goemon's introductory arc was.

Imagine you were making a character who is a "villain" who has been raised and lived their whole life in an abusive environment, who struggles to define their own humanity due to having been reduced to someone else's property, who isn't even a full-blown adult and, depending on the canon, is only 17/18 yet is being forced to kill people to prove their life has value to someone else, but after being shown their worth by someone positive in their life for once they reclaim their identity as an individual, make the bold decision to leave their abusive environment and even kill their abuser, and find themselves among their first real family of people who inherently love them for who they are.

But, you have to do all of this in two episodes.

Also, despite being in a better environment in the present this character has obviously not had time to fully overcome their trauma, but you'll have plenty of time and episodes to tackle their process of healing and see them work on their negative defense mechanisms and thought patterns, right?

Wrong, your show is cancelled after 23 episodes. Also, your show is being rebooted with a different team of writers, and they've decided to age up your young-adult character and make him a grown man yet make him regress into his bad habits developed from his childhood trauma because they think it's totally him, all without the added context of him coming from an abusive environment where he was beaten, talked down to, neglected emotionally, and dehumanized in his day to day life (in fact, his backstory is rewritten entirely). Also, the majority of the fandom now either hates him or fundamentally misinterprets him because this reboot version of him is now the most popular and is considered to be the most accurate version of his character. Also, you know that thing you were trying to do in your show about... I think it was "individuality" or "identity" or "allowing yourself humanity with wants and needs" or something? Well, the new writers thought it'd be better if his character was boiled down to Silly Samurai Adventures™, which is way better because the joke is that he's a samurai and therefore doesn't try anything new and is also a jerk