#you only care about looks and dont actually give a fuck who someone is as a person
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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danny ana aj im calling you by name fuck all of you and fuck you for ghosting my boyfriend after years of friendship fuck you bitches
#vent post#noo for reaaal though i always thought you were normie af secretly ableist transmisogynistic weirdos but actually actually-- yall are basic#yall arent doing half of what you think you are. you communicate EXTREMELY indirectly and refuse to have responsible caring relationships#you only care about looks and dont actually give a fuck who someone is as a person#youd rather ghost than respond to thoughtful messages reaching out and you drop people that held you up & supported you for YEARS#over boundaries and expectations you literally never communicated and that were NEVER consented to#so fuck you im done being nice fuck you all i hope you dont feel satisfied with yourselves until you learn whatever lesson you need to#bc you really really dont know how to be a caring member of a community you actually abandon people when it gets hard to communicate#then stay in contact with actual abusers wtf#like thank god I dont need yall yall are seriously weird and make me anxious as fuck#text#learning & growing.for example even NBs can have white woman syndrome. my bestie has been trying to tell me...if only i had listened...#ah well theres more fish in the sea and thankfully my bf has a wealth of incredibly stable & loving connections so truly he doesnt need yal#even tho this hurt him and i honeslty want you to suffer for it but w/e i gotta let this go before it affects me more than it already has#you catty insignificant bitches FUUUCCKKKKKKkk *kills kills dies gnashes beating killing killing fight beating death beating to death aaaaa#*
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vent
#haha now im fucking sobbing im my bathroom bc i was texting one of my only 2 friends (not including my ex) about how nervous i am#then i started in about how i actually dont really want to go out & meet people & go on dates but at the same time#im so extremely tired of being lonely/alone & having absolutely no one to consistently hang out with & im so starved for love & gentleness#and tbqh all i want rn is someone to hold me. i want someone to actively want me/pursue me. i want someone to choose me & care about me#it really fucking hurts & sucks being on everyones backburner. im such a loving person. i have such a big heart & so much love to give#ive always been like that. ive always loved people with my whole being. always been happy & happy to make others happy#ive always prioritized peoples happiness & comfort & well-being FAR above my own#ive always heard the universe gives back what it receives from you......so whens it my turn to be wanted fully & loved in an unwavering way#my love has always been give give give...... i just want to receive the affection. the devotion. the loving tasks. for once. please.....#im not even looking for my forever or for my life partner or w/e. i just want someone who's excited to see me & wants to be in my presence#someone who; even if only for 1 day or 1 week or even 1 month; chooses me. chooses to stay.#i think......im tired. im gonna go play fallout nv until i pass out from exhaustion. im tired#emma vents#vent tag#sad boi hours#sad bitch hours#2023 tag
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The most validating thing about having a brother in law is sometimes I’ll make a comment about my parents being kinda horrible and he’ll just be like "DUDE FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT IVE BEEN THINKING THIS THE WHOLE TIME BUT DIDNT KNOW HOW TO ADDRESS IT"
#the klock keeps ticking#like i remember about 2 years ago when it really clicked with me that my parents were worse than i let myself believe#i had like covid and so to be safe i completely isolated myself in my room and only came out when no one was around#or with a mask on just to get food or use the bathroom that was it#and like when i had mostly recovered i stopped isolating and i looked around and noticed huh the house is kinda a hot mess#and i realized it was because i was the one who kept up with like basic cleaning and making sure things were in order#so like a little bit later i was in the car with my sister and brother in law and i was talking about this#and i was like ‘i think ive realized our parents are kinda unable to take care of themselves without me doing it for them’#and my BIL was like IM SO GLAD YOU FINALLY NOTICED THIS HAS BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY FOR YEARS#which was just so validating i was like okay so im not just being an ass like this is an actual problem#and idk a more recent thing that maybe uh. made me a little bit emotional was we were basically at a cool place where you can climb shit#and he was just kinda there helping me when it seemed i was gonna lose balance to make sure i didnt get hurt#as well as my sister too and i was like oh god is this was like. basic affection feels like???#is this what it feels like to have someone care like actually kinda give a fuck about your safety and well being???#so yeah i maybe am still not okay with that and still dont know how to feel anymore 😭#so i guess even though hes stinky and i like to bully him I GUESS hes actually a pretty cool guy and he does make my sister happy and he#treats her with respect and hes very good with their cat so yeah maybe i actually really appreciate him and care more about him#than i do my parents and most people in my family#but i cant say that cuz then itll like. go straight to his head 🥺#and he still wont play pokepark 2 with me even though he PROMISED its been like 4 years since he said that and WE STILL HAVENT PLAYED IT 👺👺👺
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This just in just because someone has different experiences than you doesn't mean they are 100% false.
Literally I say IF. I'm not saying everyone is accommodating mental health. I'm saying that many places that are willing to do that are not accessible towards physically disabled people, and are just hiding behind "mental self care uwu" to seem woke.
My fucking job promotes mental self care and has all these little free workshops for managing stress but ONLY DO THE MINIMUM REQUIRED BY LAW TO ACCOMODATE PHYSICAL DISABILITIES. And its hush hush. Older coworkers are made to feel ashamed and embarrassed when they have to use mobility aids. I overheard a supervisor complaining about having to do all this ada crap for my 90 year old coworker. Its a point of pride to not let anyone see you're in pain.
My college? At orientation week they had several lectures and workshops on mental health, trauma, sexual assault, psychological services etc. I didn't know disability services fucking existed for 2 years and I was pretty proactive. They just assumed if you "really needed it" you would somehow magically know how to access services. And when you go they have no clue how to accommodate your physical disabilities and any suggestions you make are "unfair to the other students".
Programs I've been in just flat out assume that no physically disabled person would ever sign up. People in these programs went above and beyond to help people with adhd, trauma, depression, anxiety, autism, etc. But had absolutely no clue when it came to helping me navigate campus in a wheelchair. Everything technically met ada standards but ramps were too steep, doors too heavy, hills fucking everywhere, only one elevator in the residents hall that broke down, an elevator that needs a key in the class building. One professor in particular in that program singled me out BECAUSE OF MY PHYSICAL DISABILITY. Which surprised everyone else because he was known to be super accommodating towards people struggling mentally.
Just because there are minimum ada requirements for physically accessible places doesn't mean us physically disabled people are treated like royalty and understanding and patience. We HAVE to have those fucking regulations because NO ONE WILL DO IT IF ITS NOT LAW. And there are SO MANY ways places just..dont follow standards its so common and there's not much you can do about it unless you can get a lawyer. Just because you can possibly get on disability doesn't mean physically disabled people are completely safe from poverty, ableism, abuse, and violence.
Other countries? Many don't have any fucking protections. And you know what? No one is going to spend $$ on a ramp or an elevator out of the goodness of their heart. People in the US don't want to either.
My highschool had one elevator. If it broke down, I don't even know what the non-ambulatory people did. The fire procedure was just stick us in a room and wave flags out the window.
No one gives a shit about us. And yes, many people don't give a shit about mentally disabled/neurodivergent people either. But I get constant ads for mental wellness, constant emails from the risk management department, my fucking middle and highschool screened for depression and anxiety and autism and adhd. Ask any young person how their experiences getting any type of mobility aid or doctors help have been. Especially if that person is poor, of color, a woman, NEURODIVERGENT, and/or overweight.
Tiktok is filled with mental wellness stuff too. Meanwhile physically disabled people are literally flagged by the algorithm to not appear as much.
I'm not saying things are perfect for you guys. I'm not saying everyone is suddenly giving out mental health days and you don't face any oppression. IM FUCKING NEURODIVERGENT. I HAVE PSYCHOSIS, ADHD, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, AND MAYBE AUTISM. I KNOW MOST PLACES AREN'T DOING THAT. BUT YEAH SOME ARE AND THEY ONLY ACCEPT MENTAL STRUGGLES AS ACCEPTABLE.
If you call out sick from physical ailments too much? Fired. Why are you working there. Why not get on disability and live the easy life just like the other cripples. You can't expect to go into these fields and professions and actually think you'll be able to achieve something. Oh you are depressed? Well here's our school counselor, here's some aids to help you stay focused. You're in pain? Why are you here? Don't you belong in a hospital where we don't have to see you? You might get fired for being neurodivergent, but we don't even get hired in the first place.
Its great that so much progress has been made for mental health. But there has been no such effort for us cripples. For disability awareness month there was no mention of us except from us. Meanwhile every month some neurodivergence gets its time in the spotlight. Everyone knows what adhd is. No one fucking knows what fibromyalgia is. No one knows what degenerative disc disease is. Young people are constantly denied wheelchairs and crutches and powerchairs just for being young. I got meds after my first appointment at a psychiatrist. Does that mean everyone is able to get brain meds? No! But it's a hell of a lot easier. (Note I didn't say it was easy in general, i said easier)
Stop twisting my words and stop fucking talking over me. I'm not pulling these examples out of my ass just to be mean and cranky. These are my personal lived experiences I'm not lying. I'm pointing out a societal trend that is once again leaving young physically disabled people behind. It's becoming trendy and good for appearances to support your workers mental health in a lot of corporate fields. We aren't even considered as workers. We are legally allowed to be paid less for our work just for being disabled. Abled neurodivergent people have benefited from OUR efforts. And then turn their back on us. Say we are blowing things out of proportion. While you all become more visible, you refuse to help us up as well. Meanwhile every cripple I've listened to makes a concerted effort to include neurodivergence in our language, activism, organizations, etc. And if we don't happen to mention neurodivergence we get attacked for gatekeeping because we are suddenly not talking about you.
People are more accepting of young people having neurodivergence than physical disability. If someone lets young people take self care days for their mental health it's allowed, but god forbid you have a flare up or need to go to the doctor. Then you're told that maybe this job/class is "too much" for you and you should give up.
#yeah it sucks youve only worked at ableist places that dont care about their workers health#im not talking about those places. those places dont give a shit about any of us#there are places that are making the effort though and using mental health as a cheap paint to make themselves look good#there are places with people that genuinely care about mental health but they ONLY care about mental healtj#because once you are physically disabled you are no longer even considered as a possibility#that they might have to interview someone in a wheelchair and actually give them a fair shot#that they might see a young person get out of a car parked in handicapped space and not look disabled#that they might have a disabled customer who moves slower than the others or who needs words repeated#young disabled people are fucking invisible and our own community doesnt want to help us
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puppy!reader trying to break up with rafe or just distancing herself because she overheard someone saying they couldn’t understand how rafe could be with a pogue and it hurts her feelings and has her overthinking :( (obviously rafe later on gets her to tell him who said that and he deals with it)
꒰ ౨ৎ .ᐟ .ᐣ ᡣ𐭩
he was used to you being all over him. if you weren’t constantly yapping in his ear, you were using him like a climbing frame, subtly rubbing your needy cunt on his leg or trying to stick a body part of his in your mouth. so, the difference in your behaviour all of a sudden was palpable.
you’d been at the country club. not particularly because you liked it there, you knew despite recently joining the kook life people still saw you as less than — but you had to say, the icecream they served was top notch, and you wouldn’t keep yourself away despite being told off plenty of times by rafe for overdoing it on the sugar and then getting hyperactive.
you step away from the counter with your cone, smiling to yourself at the small victory when your ears picks up on a conversation round the corner. you stop in your tracks, realising it’s about you.
“i mean she’s definitely hot, i’ll give him that. in like, a weird way. she’s got the whole ‘fuck me daddy’ thing going on, you know. she’s helpless. rafes gotta be fuckin’ her.” a kook you didn’t even recognise comments, sipping at his beer.
“dont be weird, bro.” another turns his nose up.
“its true! i dont care man, i know rafe — he fuckin’ hates pogues, he wouldn’t be caught dead with one, ‘specially not one as obvious as her. the girls a mess, and mommy and daddy suddenly coming into money ain’t gonna change that about her.”
your heart sinks as you continue to listen to the berating. in the north carolina heat, icecream didn’t stay structurally sound for long — and you’re only dragged out of your eavesdropping session when the dome of strawberry icecream slides straight off its podium, splatting on the floor besides your sandals, leaving you with just the cone in your hand. you stare down at it, barely registering the loss.
you’d overthought it— something rather uncommon of you. when a few hours had passed, and rafe hadn’t had you hurtling through his front door with a ladybug on your finger or something of the sorts, he actually wondered where you might be— so he showed up at your door.
you wasn’t expecting him. he never chased you, always letting you come to him first — but something felt off, and his curiosity got the better of him.
“w—what is this, you not comin’ over to bother me today?” he shakes his head and your brows crease, staring at the eldest cameron in your doorway.
“no…” you reply quietly, even going the extra length to avoid his eyes. you weren’t trying to be obvious about it, but you couldn’t help that you were upset. he stares at you for a moment, unnerved by your unusual mood.
“…well can i come in or what?”
you allow him, purely because despite your mood you didn’t like to be impolite.
“whats up with you? i already told you to stop watchin’ those animal planet documentaries, kid. they upset you, alright i—”
“i wasn’t.” you snap, and he looks over — your tone grabbing his attention from wandering around your living room, seeing you standing in the corner clutching yourself like you didn’t know what to do. you were so used to being all over him that standing by yourself felt odd.
he scratches his cheek awkwardly, eyes flickering over you. “shit, you mad at me or somethin’?”
slowly, you sit down on the couch, tucking your feet beneath you.
“i’m just trying to give you space.”
he huffs a laugh out from his chest, thinking you’re joking — but his smile fades a little when he sees that you’re not. “yeah? you were all over me yesterday, now what — you shy?”
“i’m a pogue.” you raise your voice over his just a tad, bringing your knees to your chest. the statement catches him off guard, and he sways awkwardly on the spot, watching you.
“yeah no shit. so what.” he drawls, and his agreement stings.
“you hate pogues. so… you hate me.” you draw the conclusion and he fights an eyeroll, walking over to where you’re sat briskly.
“listen if i hated you you’d fuckin’ know about it, alright? i don’t hate you. you’re a pain in my ass, but… but nah.” he shakes his head, settling down on the seat next to you and pushing his hair back, not enjoying the idea of being vulnerable. it made him a little uncomfortable. “where… where is this coming from anyways? since when did you give a shit ‘bout all that?”
“since the people at the club were saying stuff.” you mutter, and now he’s really invested. his head snaps towards you, arm freezing in the air from pushing his hair out of his face. he could tolerate the weird moods, but he wouldn’t tolerate people disrespecting you or him.
“huh?”
your lip starts to tremble at the memory, voice growing higher as you speak. “there was a group of boys, and they were saying i was a mess and that im nothing and that you had to be fucking me because that’s the only thing i could offer you and i dropped my icecream and—”
“what?” he turns his whole body towards you as you let out a quiet sob, wide eyes darting between your wet one.
“i dropped my icecream!”
“no— kid, who was saying this shit?” his outrage is somewhat comforting and you sniffle, wiping your snotty nose on the back of your hand.
“i don’t know his name. he had a green shirt on.”
he leans back in his seat for a moment, wiping hands down his face — a little frustrated with your inability to identify the culprits. he pushes his palms into his eyes for a moment, realising it’s not your fault — and you were already upset. sighing out his nose, he looks at you once more, shuffling as close to you as he can.
“quit listenin’ to nobodies at the club, a’ight? you… you think people don’t say shit about me? running their mouth about my private business? they — they do, alright— but what i don’t do is cry about it n’let them think they won. i handle that shit, like i’m gonna handle this.”
you blink at him, hanging onto his every word. you really were adorable, and as much as he’ll never admit it, his heart softens at how sweet you were by nature. you didn’t deserve to be picked on by people that weren’t him.
“how do you know who they are?” you tilt your head, really emulating a puppy and he presses his lips together, shrugging a shoulder and shaking his head.
“uh, you’re gonna point ‘em out next time we go to the club. i’ll… i’ll handle it from there.”
you nod, hating that you’ve caused any kind of conflict at all, eyes drifting towards as you burrow yourself into thoughts of guilt. before you can think too much, rafe grips your jaw — meaning well, but still carrying that boyish roughness. “hey. you’re my girl, alright? i don’t let shit slide.”
he’d never called you his girl before, so instantly — you’re all sniffly smiles, launching at him to clamber onto his lap once more.
꒰ ౨ৎ .ᐟ .ᐣ ᡣ𐭩
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learn indifference ⋆˙✧⋆
indifference = “lack of interest, lack of concern”
since we already know the 3d is always neutral and has no original meaning, we know that as the operant power we are the ones that assign ‘circumstances’ and ‘negative’ thoughts meaning.
we should continue being indifferent to the 3d meaning we dont care how it looks because it never means anything. being indifferent means no giving the 3d power, energy, no entertaining thoughts that dont serve us, no holding our desires above the pedestal, no accepting and creating stories based on our current 3d and dwelling in them.
remember that we are not our thoughts, we are not our circumstances, we are not our emotions, doubts, states, or anxieties. our past experiences have no power over us until we decide it does.
how to be indifferent:
be internally fulfilled (satisfy your inner self w the desire which is now reality) so that you feel the knowing of already having your desire which means it will be easier to not give a fuck about the 3d
accept the end and only the end: know that the 3d could be changing in your favor for example, a lady was manifesting a better high paying job and she got fired from her current job for whatever reason. because she got fired, someone recommended her to a new job which was higher paying and she got that job (which was what she wanted). imagine if she accepted the 3d when she lost her job instead of only accepting the end goal. this is why nothing in the 3d matters and why the 3d cant be trusted. whatever you see, dont identify with “this isnt working” blah blah blah because you should be practicing indifference like that lady. she didnt gaf about the 3d and continued accepting she was already her desired self
trust the law: the law is always working and failure does not exist. you identify as a desired version of you and fulfill? ok now its done. theres nothing else to do but continue being that person. dont let anything in the 3d crash you down. dont even entertain the option of “failure”
know the 3d is a reflection of imagination: it has no mind of its own. the only thing it knows how to do is reflect self/imagination so know that at every moment, you always call the shots. this is all you so why care or validate the 3d when its only a reflection of you?
hold yourself higher on the pedestal: when you put yourself (inner self/imagination) first, you become attached to anything else. finding validation in yourself only instead of the 3d. when you want something, immediately fulfill yourself with in imagination instead of searching for fulfillment in the 3d
stop giving the 3d attention: have you ever heard of “whatever you focus on grows”? when you find yourself being aware of the 3d, just shift you attention elsewhere
“As the end is accepted, you become totally indifferent as to possible failure, for acceptance of the end wills the means to that end. When you emerge from the moment of prayer, it is as though you were shown the happy and successful end of a play although you were not shown how that end was achieved.” - ng
“The best denial is total indifference. Things wither and die through indifference. They are kept alive through attention. You do not deny a thing by saying it does not exist. Rather you put feeling into it by recognizing it, and what you recognize as true, is true to you, be it good, bad or indifferent.” - nd
before indifference: *allowing negative thoughts to consume you, accepting the 3d ‘negative circumstances’ as true, when you imagine something and look at the 3d you feel easily discouraged and start to be a victim to it, feeling like you have to ignore the 3d because youre scared of it, you feel the need to search for answers in the 3d all day because you see it as more important than it actually is, you are attached to the 3d and your mood changes when a single little thing looks “bad”*
after indifference: *nothing in the 3d shakes who you are being in imagination because you know who you are internally being is the only truth, you dont care about experiencing things in the 3d that are the opposite of your desire because you know you always call the shots, if you get discouraged you get your ass back up and know yourself to be the operant power, you arent attached to the 3d and searching for its validation*
so when you are indifferent to the 3d, you dont care about it, you arent afraid of it, you know it holds no importance or original meaning therefore you dont let it influence who you are being in imagination. think about when people pass by a homeless person on the street: they might think about it in the moment but most of them would go thro the rest of their day forgetting about it because they just didnt care. think about that one person who always knows they look good and their jealous friend tells them they look bad: that person would not care about outside voices because they know that they look good and they only accept internal validation
your only job is accepting the desire that the inner self experiences, as true while being indifferent to the experiences of the human self
kisses, jani ☆
#etherealkissed🎀#etherealkissed#loa blog#manifesting#law of assumption#loassumption#edward art#neville goddard#imagination creates reality#loastates#affirm and persist
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hello love, how are you? i hope you're okay, i was wondering if you could write to dealer!chris being jealous seeing innocent!bff!reader with another guy. love uuu 💕
they r kinda uneventful im sorry if this is boring. dont get me wrong, these two are usually more exciting :(
the music playing at the party seems to reverberate in your chest, making you feel every thump your heart makes. everyone is shouting, loud and raucous whoops making you ears hurt a little. baggies dotted with specks of white powder litter the floor, along with empty beer bottles and cans, red solo cups, and you even somehow stumbled into finding some girls bra as well.
you house a soda in your hand, nestled into chris' side as he does what he does. makes money, looking at a group of tipsy girls just the right way to swindle some more money from them. he's clicking his tongue against his teeth as he counts the crinkled bills, smoothing them out and lifting his hips up off the couch to stuff the momey into one of his back pockets.
with chris' arm loopes around your shoulder, he used the other to lift the red cap on his head to fix his hair before sliding it back on and scoping out the crowd of people. he spots some of your friends on the dance floor, a sly grin overtaking his face as his hand pats your shoulder a few times. he gestures to your friends with his chin and a subtle point of his finger, urging you to put yourself out there some more and participate in more shit other than sit by his side at these house parties.
your teeth bite at your lip, gnawing the skin off slowly as you hand your drink to chris. you don't really trust anyone else, and it would be good to actually get up and stuff. this is a party anyways, and you never really do much—just like chris had mentioned. and your friends are already waving you over, drunken smiles plastered on their face and bodies swaying to the beat of the music.
any anxiety melts into waves of comfort and a sort of happiness, letting familiar hands grasp yours and spin you around, shifting your body to the music that seems to rattle your bones. chris is watching every second, eyes fixated on you and only you when he isn't too busy with a buyer. he wants to make sure you don't do anything stupid—or, matter of fact he just doesn't want your friends to do anything stupid.
when chris is somewhat certain you won't accidentally sip someone else's drink or something, he turns his attention back to his own little business. girls are shoving bills into his hand, eager to get their grimy, manicured hands on just a few lines of coke or some pills. it's not exactly a good gig, but chris makes bank off it—so of course he isn't complaining. even as some girls stare at him smug, trying to weasel their way into his mind with bedroom eyes. 'i could always pay another way, hm?'
meanwhile, youre stumbling past sweaty bodies drenched in perfume and cologne to stand off to the side, your friends having drifted off somewhere else and out of your peripherals. you peek over heads and squint through the empty space of bodies, trying to even spot chris—and unable to. when you start shuffling back, mumbling a panicked 'sorry!' when some snobby girls shove past you with a stank eye, knocking your back into someone's chest.
chris is caught up with buyers and some of his friends who have sat at his side. he didn't care much about them, namely, only really giving a fuck when nate plops down beside him with a drink in his hand and a girl tucked beside him. chris offers him a pre roll, hips lifting up and his other hand reaching in his back pocket to fish out a lighter—offering that to nate as well. surprisingly, he hands the girl with him the pre roll, chris watching from the side of his eye how she lets it hang between her lips, nate clicking the lighter to life to give it a burn.
the lighter lands in chris' lap with a little toss, nate grinning at him before turning his attention back to the girl. chris doesn't say anything, ignoring the way his chest clenches at the sight of them. he never would've thought nate to be one to limit himself to one girl, but he looked happy. chris is shoving the lighter back into his pocket and handing a baggie of substance to some girl who just paid extra since she was new. he just crooks her a grin, winking and watching as she turns to her friends with a blush adorning her face.
you're sparking up a conversation with this guy youve just met. he's into some of the same things you are, and hes cute. your face is stretched into a bright smile, obviously stoked at the fact you get to ramble and yap about your interests without having a certain someone tell you in your ear constantly that 'you're annoying' or 'shut up'.
what you dont see is chris pushing people out of the way to stalk towards you, an unamused look etched into his features. his jaw tenses when he's within distance to hear you laugh and clutch at the guys shoulder for support, the two of you doubling over in giggles. and the thing is, chris can see the way youre practically bouncing up and down with joy, eyes lit up and lips moving a mile per second with how excited he can see you.
the sight makes his eye subconsciously twitch a little, teeth grinding together as he shoves a couple devouring each others faces off out of his way. he stands a little ways behind you, glowering and obviously in some form upset. but he doesn't exactly realize it's more so jealousy, envy even—you never look like that when talking to him.
the guy youve been acting so buddy buddy with notices his lingering presence first, the smile dropping on his face and in chain turning your own grin into a confused frown. chris is glaring, a scoff sounding under his breath as your 'friend' apologizes quickly and offers you a sweet smile that has chris' heart beating rather quickly. he's backing away, rushing off to his own group of friends.
and you're confused, a hand reaching out ready to grab his arm to stop him—but hes already gone. youre still vibrating head to toe with happiness that someone seems to have multiple of the same interests as you, only for your mood to shift a little when you feel the presence standing behind you. turning your head to meet chris' eyes and his hands fixing the hat on his head, you frown at him.
"what was that for? i was having a conversation," you start to argue, annoyance flooding your veins. but chris is clutching your wrist and tugging you away from the crowd back to his little sofa, and he hates the way you huff and try to shove yourself away from his grasp.
chris doesn't enjoy the feeling in his chest, two fingers reaching up from his free hand to prod at his chest over his hoodie, trying to relieve the suffocating feeling. it's not like your any much happier, genuinely wanting to get to know the guy. you should've asked for his number, nerves flooding your body and making you too anxious to do so—because what if he had said no?
chris' grip gets steadily tighter as he leads you back to your original spot, ignoring the way he would've probably beat that guy to a pulp if he had tried taking you out on a date or something. but he doesn't get it. he doesn't get why he even thinks like that, annoyance coursing through him at his own confusion. in some way, he understood the foreign feeling. he was jealous, simply. he disliked the look of you with anyone else, but why? why does he feel this way, because it's not even as if you two are together.
—
@conspiracy-ash @sturniolosfavkayleigh @lvrsturniolo @st7rnioioss @meatballlover10 @ashlishes @ferdzom @55sturn @chriseatingmeoutin4k @unknvhx @mattslolita @chaossturns @slut4brunettes @starclinexo @slvtf0rchr1s @itsmaddielouis
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#ᶻz eph3merall#ᶻz asks#ᶻz anons#ೀ dealer!chris#ೀ innocent!bff!reader#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo blurb#chris sturniolo prompt#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo x reader#the sturniolo triplets#the sturniolos#sturniolo triplets
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RENT IS DUE!
Pairing: housemates!(Jaehyun,Mark,Jeno,Jaemin) x fem!reader
Genre: SMUT, Housemates, Mature
W.C: (15k) (I thought I was trying to make a series)
Warnings: PERVERT (all of them are pervert and you can’t change my mind here), dom!Mark dom!Jaemin meandom!Jeno meandom!Jaehyun sub!reader. overstimulation, nipple play, sucking, lots of kissing, manhandling, oral(m and f), spit as lube, penetration w/o protection (I suggest you not to do it) [do tell me if I have missed anything)
Networks: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity
Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated . Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!
MINORS DONT INTERACT UNDER THE CUE! 🔞
Here comes the long awaited fic! Taglist in the end. Thanks to everyone for waiting. I would love to hear your responses once you finish reading it. Let’s start!
NOW I DON’T WANT TO BE A HOMELESS!
Never in a while, you thought that suddenly one day morning you would wake up to hear your house owner ringing the bell as if hell broke loose and it’s the end of the world. It would have been better honestly as the news she delivered to you after you welcomed her inside while rubbing your eyes and yawning was lot worser. She eyed you for a moment and looked around the house as if you were hiding someone and then smilingly told you that you have to leave the house in three days. ONLY THREE DAYS! Like is she fucking serious? How can you actually arrange for a place suddenly? This woman has always been a rude one but you just never minded her as she lives in a different state and comes for few days every month to her parents’ home and to take the rent from you. She always has this suspicion on you that you bring over boys but only she doesn’t know that you are not so lucky one in getting a boy for yourself, keeping aside boys. Aside from this, everything was fine but to give you the notice to leave the house in three days was very much unpredictable from her. You even tried to convince her to give you one month time or atleast for one week. But NO. she was not convinced by your pleadings but gave you strict warning to leave. And what’s the reason behind this. She has got a very big amount of deal on selling this house so she won’t be losing the chance. Understandable, everything is for money.
Now, what about your need for the money? You clearly know that how costly the apartments are in this locality and that’s why it was the best option for you to select this place to stay on cheap rent but due to this sudden kick out, you have to search a new place. First, you gave up on the search in this locality and search for other houses or apartments in some outskirt regions but nothing was showing upto your satisfaction. The places are too far for you to maintain daily up-down journey from house to office and back. So, today after getting the news from the owner, you took a quick leave from the office and promised to work extra time to make up for todays. And that’s how you are stuck in your room with messy hairs, not caring about to eat anything, making a list to pack the important things first and the rest in sequence and your laptop placed on your lap with your eyes boring onto the screen in search for a quick and affordable place.
NeoVilla.
The owner has not mentioned the amount of the rent but the room look so nice, it must be expensive. Still, your fingers hovering over the click button to contact the owner. The place is quite near to your office but the locality is away from the city zone but it’s not the matter here right now. To get a place affordable enough to live and that’s near to your workplace. Biting your lips, you looked at the name and the picture of the room shown at the side and then your gaze moves to the contact side- ‘via call’ or ‘via message’. You clicked on the message option and fingers lingering over your keyboard as you are nervous how to start the conversation. Just sending a quick ‘Hi’, you waited for the other end to reply. You are literally so tensed as if you are approaching your crush in high-school. Well, still you need to be professional before approaching this owner as you don’t know their personality yet so it’s good to be on the safe side.
Nothing came back as a reply and losing the hope, you got up to freshen up and prepare your food for the day. It took almost two hours or maybe more than that to prepare everything for yourself and after finishing up when you thought to pack your things, you get to your laptop to check if you should still keep a hope or just search for something else but fortunately, YES FORTUNATELY you have ten messages from the account. But wait! Your overthinking ass is again thinking about the negative possibilities when there are more than five texts from someone. As soon as you opened the texts, you are greeted with apologies that how the person never looks up this account anymore and he was no more planning to rent the room but if the matter is urgent then they might look into the matter. He even introduced himself and gave you the contact number just in case you want to know the further details. Relief washes over you and you happily sit on the edge of the bed. Saving the contact as ‘Owner-Jaehyun’, you quickly message him about your needs and urgency. You didn’t opt for calling as you are not comfortable on call with strangers. Surprisingly, the owner replied to the message quick enough and he agrees with your demands but the only thing that is not sitting properly is the money. He claims you to pay for three months payment in advance but your bank account has a problem or simply you don’t have that much amount of money altogether. To get this matter solve in person, you tell him to meet outside but he denies quickly and asks you to come over to the house so that you will get the overview of the house and know the exact location of the place and then you can talk about the money matter. That’s how you both comes in terms with meeting him the next morning before going to your office.
…………………………….
“Hi!”
“Who are you? What are you doing here?”
Blinking your eyes, you pout a little at the man standing in front of you as to why the person is acting as if he does not know you. You have already checked the message in your phone twice and the third time now and it’s still showing this house. You have already texted the owner about your arrival for a quick look to the new place so the owner should know you would come. Wait you haven’t shared any pic of yours so it might be the reason of this weird introduction.
“Are you Jung Jaehyun, the owner of this house?”
Now, the person before you, has a frown on his face and blinking down at you. The bare face with red eyes and messy hairs with a white tee worn casually is still enough to reflect his handsomeness. You literally envy when people look good in messy stuffs as you look like you have survived a war.
“I’m not him but I’m one of the owners of this place. Myself Jaemin.”
“Owners? I didn’t know there’re others. Nice to meet you though, here this is Y/N.”
Awkwardly shaking hands with each other, he offers you to enter the house. This dude is really weird and he is still trying to understand the situation. His eyes never left your form after the introduction and the way he is checking you out, anyone can call him out as a pervert but what about you. Meanwhile your eyes roaming all around the big mansion and you are in awe with the luxurious interior of this grand place with expensive items decorating every corner and the most displayed area.
Hands fidgeting by your side and biting your lips, you turn around to find him already looking at you and you feel conscious of your look. Trying to smile a bit, you fail miserably because of his gaze which is piercing on your skin, your choice for wearing a skirt and a plain top is making you to regret now. This dude needs to be changed with his approach with people like why he has to stare at you like this.
“How do you know Jaehyun?”
You blink on his sudden question but clearing your throat, you try to form some words but it seems as if you don’t know how to speak yet.
He smirks at you, “what happened? Caught in a lie?”
“Huh? No no. I…he is the owner with whom I had contacted few days back for a room to rent and he said that he has one vacant extra room in his house so for the advance payment and quick check through, I informed him about my arrival but it seems he forgot about it.”
“Renting the extra room? That even to a girl?”
You nod slowly.
Poking his tongue inside his cheeks, his eyes trail down your body and taking extra time on your exposed legs to which you shifted in your place and his eyes meet yours, straight away making an eye contact as if daring you to move again and see the consequences. A fear flashes through your eyes to which he gestures you to sit with a smile on his face.
Slow steps towards the sofa, you sit on the middle large one, no wait which do I need to sit on? The love seat one? Or the chair one? Ah. Forget about it.
Turning your head to his side, he is no more standing there but you see him walking away towards a passage way.
“Jaemin, can you call Jaehyun as I need to have a quick talk with him?”
Halting in his way, he looks back at you and nods his head but it doesn’t seem like as if he is agreeing with you but rather agreeing with something inside his mind.
“Who are you?”
Turning your head to the other side, you find a man with black tshirt and trousers staring down at you but not to so happy with your presence. His question is so cold just like his appearance but a guest is a guest. You are a stranger so why asking you like this as if he caught you stealing things in his house. His house? Who even is he?
“Myself y/n.”
“Oh, pretty one! I didn’t want your name but thanks for giving me the name to this pretty face. So, what’s my dear Y/N doing here? Who brought you here during this bright daylight instead of night?”
“I’m not here for…on call of anybody. I’m here for the rental room.”
“You mean you are going to stay here? In this house?”
You nod your head with furrowed brows.
He asks again, “Who let you even know about it? Are you sure that you are not at the wrong address? What’s the name of the owner who contacted you?”
“Jung Jaehyun. I have double checked it and it’s showing the same address where I am currently and Jaemin told me he is the other owner.”
Something clicks in his mind when his eyes go round and brows raise high as if he realized something very important. You haven’t yet noticed that you are standing on your legs while speaking to him and your hands gripping the skirt tightly, why are they so overreacting to have a girl over for the rental room? It should be you like panicking to see so many men in a single household without any trace of a female and you wonder if you have to live with them or they are just here for some reasons.
“Well, hello there y/n! My name is Jeno, I’m another owner of this household and it’s really nice to have you here.”
Shaking hands with him, you feel shy because of his stare along with a sly smirk resting in the corner of his lips. He is not letting your hands go even when you try to pull a little.
You ask him, “Another owner? How many of you are here?”
“Four.”
You turn around on hearing a new voice, a man emerges from the passage way where Jaemin went to earlier. He notices your confused expression and approaches you with a hand offering for a handshake. Jeno has already left your hand and gone to sit on a chair nearby.
“So, Jaemin told me about your arrival. Y/n, right? This is Jaehyun.”
If the previous men are angels from heaven, then this one is the angel who has been created by every angel with a little touch of every beauty. Why all of them are so handsome and hot? I should take control of my mind as what stupid things I’m just thinking about my house owners.
“Yes. I am. Nice to meet you.”
His dimples deepen with the smile and nodding his head, he gestures you to sit back and unconsciously your legs give in and you touch the soft material of the sofa. You are really feeling too weak in front of them. Is it because you are unwell or something about their aura and the stares?
He takes a seat on the love seat and checks something on his phone.
“Is this ‘fantasy love’ your username?”
“Oh yeah. I’m so sorry I haven’t yet changed the name and I just like to keep everything private so I don’t use my real name there. But I can assure you that I’m clean, I don’t have any criminal records and all. Also, I will not cause any trouble while staying here. I need somewhere to stay so urgently that I was glad when you offered me this place on the site.”
He chuckles on your ramblings and also you can hear two chuckling voices from the place where Jeno is sitting. You feel shy under their gazes, you notice how Jaehyun is staring at you as if judging your whole appearance and on the other end, Jeno is being accompanied by Jaemin, who is standing by the side with a spoon in his hand and asking the other one to taste something but their eyes are on you when they caught you watching them.
Your attention brought back to Jaehyun when he clears his throat and lips close rightly making a line, dimples visible again.
“But you have already lied on one thing.”
“What? I haven’t lied anything. You must be wrong somewhere.”
“In the online generated space for some specific basic informations, you have selected the gender as male. But all I can see is a beautiful Angel sitting in front of me.”
Your eyes go wide on hearing his words so you quickly open the site and go through the form of basic informations and then your eyes stop on one place.
Gender: Male(☑️). Female ( ). Not mention( ).
Oh. You and your clumsy ass would never learn how to take things slowly and properly to avoid mistakes but this one is really about your identity of being a liar or not. He must be thinking you as a liar. It really doesn’t matter whatever pronouns people use for you and you need to refer to others but making mistake and have to get blame as a liar is not setting right.
“What the hell….”
“So, why did you lie there?”
“Jaehyun, I didn’t lie there. It’s just that I was must be in hurry and selected wrong.”
You are looking down, feeling guilty on the realization that they must have thought on getting a male visitor today but instead you showed up and that’s why they felt weird earlier. You were ready to apologize and take your leave with the disappointment on your mistake when he spoke up.
“When are you ready to finally come over?”
“Huh?”
“It’s okay. Humans are meant to make mistakes and an angel should be forgiven as they are always so busy for looking pretty.”
You feel shy on the compliment with his seductive voice directly reaching your ears. You tug your hairs a bit and you can feel two other states on you this whole time but you opt to ignore it.
“Do I need to-“
“Gosh! Why nobody woke me up and now I’m running late for the meeting?”
A man with jet black hairs, dressed in a black suit, hands busy putting the watch on the wrist and eyes glaring all around the room. His steps fast while coming down the stairs. You didn’t know but you are again watching this man like you did with the others and when his eyes land on you, a frown appears on his face.
“So, you all are busy with a girl that even early in the morning and forgetting about the event at the office. Are you all for real?”
“Calm down Mark, I have told them to start the meeting after one hour as how you came home late last night. Don’t worry.”
He even glared at you before making his way out of the door. Jaemin shouts to have the breakfast but the other ignored the shout leaving behind a grumbling man.
“So, what were you saying?”
Oh yeah! I was saying something before this little commotion.
“In two days, I will be coming here to stay with my things and also, do I need to pay you in advance?”
“That’s fine. I will prepare the room for you. So, you have the money?”
You shake your head to which he nods.
“It’s okay, you can arrange for it in one week time and if you have any trouble, feel free to approach to any one of us.”
You smile to his welcoming gestures and sweet words. You feel satisfied on finally getting the place to stay.
“Uh I have one more question.”
“Ask away.”
“Do you all stay here as well?”
“Yes. Why?”
Oh. Okay.
“I need to stay here with you all?”
“Yeah. It’s just under the same roof but you have your personal room unless you want to stay in any one of ours.”
He laughs in the end and you laugh along with him. He doesn’t mean anything else right? No no it’s not.
You stand up and he follows you to the door and you can see Jeno trailing behind him.
“It was nice to meet you all.”
“Same here. Also don’t mind Mark, he is like that when something is not in accord, otherwise he is really sweet.”
You nod with a smile.
Jeno speaks up, “Also he is the fourth owner and the last owner you are yet to meet properly.”
With waving them and making your way towards the gate in the end of the garden, Jaehyun calls you again. Turning back, your eyes tell him to say.
“Remember, your rent is due.”
Rent is due.
The whole ride to your office, his words were dancing in your mind that you need to gather the money for three months in advance. You were sure to make him change the rent structure but the way your nervousness took over yourself that you couldn’t get yourself to ask about it. Fine, atleast you have a place to stay in two days and one week more to arrange the money and also, he offered that if you need help regarding the money then you can ask one of them, three out of four. No way, you are going to ask that grumpy one, God knows where he is showing his temper right now, you feel pity over those employees.
Arriving to the workplace, you are already late for fifteen minutes. Wow, great you have an important meeting but due to the traffic, you are going to get a good earful. Your one of the co-workers greets you at the entrance with a worried look on her face and you already know the reason.
“Y/n, just run to the meeting room. Managing Director is already getting pissed off with your absence and if you don’t hurry-“
You are literally skipping steps to reach to the elevator, “Sana, I know but can you please shut up. I know I’m already late, you don’t have to say it again.”
Without looking back at her, you quickly enter the elevator and press the buttons repeatedly as if it would fly you to the room. Tapping your feet impatiently, you glancing to your wrist watch with passing of each floor and you just hope to atleast arrive there without any more hurdles. So many things going in your life all together. Honestly, if it was any other meeting then it should not have been a problem but today the Managing Director will be attending the meeting and you have already messed up.
Reaching the floor, you sprint towards the meeting room and push open the door. Breathing heavily and sweats lining your forehead, you smooth over your skirt and bow with apologies flowing continuously from your mouth.
Everyone already has seated in their places and as soon as you saw your empty chair in the end of the row, you turn to move towards it. Wait, don’t think you are getting out of this situation so easily.
“So, you are Ms. Kang Y/N?”
You halt in your steps and turn around. Your eyes go big and shock expression visible on your face to come face to face with the person who just called you. That’s why the voice sounded so familiar. Can I just jump out of the window from this floor? Like what is he doing here? Why? Out of all the people, he is here.
Mark.
“Come here miss, I have already introduced myself to rest of them but I guess you think everything goes according to you so let me introduce myself to you in a special way.” He takes slow steps towards you, but your brain is having two reactions like one that he is looking scary with this deep tone and two that he is looking hella fine and maybe hot in this black suit.
“Myself, Mark Lee. The Managing Director of Fact Check Enterprise.” Oh. So, he is the one who was supposed to come and the meeting was scheduled later due to him and is matching how Jaehyun earlier referred about his going home late at night. He shakes your shaky hands and leans down to whisper, “Also, the fourth owner of the villa.”
Standing up straight, he goes back to the end of the table to his previous place but this time he asks an employee sitting at the front of the row to exchange the seat with yours and sends a smirk towards you. You are still standing there and understanding his motives but he just raises his eyebrows and signals you to sit in the new place. That’s the place extremely near to him. He is just trying to do everything possible to show his temper on you. You didn’t think back in your way that the poor employee will be you. How pathetic!
The meeting lasted for one and a half an hour. The result was the best and your experience was the worst. In the end of every speech, he laughed to make everyone comfortable around him and also listened to each of the member’s point of view on the project and he had that warm aura that even made those employees to state their perspectives who always hesitate. His leadership skills were on the point but everything was different when it was your turn. He had that smirk plastered permanently on his face, eyes roaming all over your body and him leaning back to his chair and palms joined before him and deeply staring at you was like something to make you feel uncomfortable. It’s not like anyone was finding the situation weird but you know him holding the grudge from the morning. Whenever your tensed self was explaining something, he has to interrupt and ask you some silly question which didn’t even relate to the topic but smiling towards others he claimed that everyone has to prepare for such questions in bigger interviews. Huh bigger interviews! he is just asking you the questions just to mess with you and piss you off because of the commotion back at their house. You are a very confident woman when it comes to your work and duties but somehow his presence is not helping you today.
Ending the meeting officially, everybody stood up and bowed to him and others. You did the same but when it’s your turn to exit, “Miss Y/n. Please stay back, I have few words to talk with you.”
Looking back to the ones left to leave the room, they send you innocent smiles and excused themselves to leave. You are hoping to leave the room along with them but to your surprise, Mark closes the door as soon as everybody left.
“So, should I call you Y/n or fantasylove?” He asks while leaning against the door, hands folded in front and smirk still visible.
“Y/n….” you try your best to avoid his piercing gaze on you but you got tensed up when you hear his footsteps nearing you.
Hands gripping your jaw, fingers brushing over the skin so lightly and eyes devouring your simple beauty. Poking his cheek with the tongue, he smiles down at you, “A shy housemate we are getting huh?”
“I’m not shy. It’s just you are crossing your boundaries.”
He chuckles and raises his eyebrows, “Boundaries of?”
“This. You are crossing the distance between an employee and you. You should not do this as it would hamper both of our image.” You try to push him but he holds you tighter and closer by the waist.
Tilting his head, he leans to your level to whisper in your ears, “What if I want to ruin my image?” his breaths fan over your ears, tickling your skin, “And also if I want to ruin you, love?”
“What?” Your shocked eyes staring at the door in the fear of anyone getting inside anytime and finding you here in this position. Without thinking anything else, you push him and take your bag from the chair and sprint towards the door. Leaving behind a man with a smug expression and satisfied self.
You didn’t care if he is going to report your behaviour of pushing him but if anyone would have seen the scene then also it might have caused a similar problem and it was better option to run away.
All the way back home, it was you overplaying the same scene from the office in your mind and having a second doubt to shift to his house, their house. You certainly don’t have another option to cancel them but also an uneasiness setting in your mind. Maybe he was just trying to be friendly with me as we are going to stay in the same place and am just overthinking about the issue? But is it? So, you block your every here and there thoughts to just stick to your plan and that’s moving to the house in two days.
………….
The next day, it’s a mess for you as you are packing up all the things and also tensing on the matter of not having enough money in your account. You should keep a proper calculation of your spendings and get hold of your balance when it’s reaching the bottom limit. You don’t know whether you can manage to pack all the things by the night and would be able to move tomorrow but still keeping aside your other routines, you focus yourself on gathering your stuffs in one place.
*DING*
Your doorbell ringing continuously and you swear if it’s again any children playing around, you might lose your temper. It’s not like you don’t love them but in this hectic situation if it’s not something important but them, you are literally going to lose your mind.
Opening the door casually, you are prepared to scold the one who ringed it but to your surprise, Jaemin is standing at your doorstep with a flower bouquet and a bright smile plastered on his face. Atleast, you should have peeked before from the peephole so atleast you wouldn’t be standing like a beggar in front of this absolute beautiful man.
“Hey, Jaemin. You didn’t inform me that you are coming and also how come you know my place?”
He hands over the bouquet to you and you welcome him inside. While placing the gift on top of the counter, you turn back to him to see him looking around the house in curiosity.
“If I had informed you then where was the fun of surprising you and also you are going to be our new housemate so it’s good to know about your details and I asked Jaehyun about it.”
“He knows about it?” you ask in confusion.
He nods and comes near to you, sliding his hand around your neck, “Yeah, you have told him on the call, yesterday.”
“Did I?”
He nods again and pats your head, “Don’t overthink yourself little mate. It’s easy to forget things when you have so many other responsibilities. And that’s why I’m here to help you with it.”
He looks around the living room but he can’t see anything to pack as you have already taken all your stuffs to the bedroom and kept in one place to make it easier for the packing. He turns to you and you move from his hold to give him a glass of water.
“Sorry, I can’t offer you anything more as all my snacks have been finished and I myself haven’t ate anything since the morning and it has been afternoon already so maybe I will look for a quick delivery. I will bake something for you when we would be staying um together.”
“That sounds nice. I really like it that we are going to stay together.”
Leaning on the counter you sigh, “yeah, something like that.”
A worry flashes across Jaemin’s eyes, “Hey, you look so tired. Just tell me where your stuffs are and then I can help you with and then later I will bring you some food. You need to take care of yourself.”
“It’s okay, Jaemin I don’t want you to worry for this. I can handle it, really.”
“Y/n. I insist, please. I will feel that you are not considering me as your friend and a housemate, me and my brothers wont feel nice about this. We just want you to feel comfortable with us.”
“Brothers? You guys are related?”
“Not fully. Mark and Jeno are related but me and Jaehyun has same father as them but our dad has married twice. His first wife died early and that’s Jaehyun’s mother and then he married again and that’s Mark and Jeno’s mother.”
“And you?”
“The child of the mistress down the street.” He laughs at his own explanation and you give him a smile.
Jaemin has the sweetest personality and you look forward to his company while living with them. He is so helpful and kind of a perfect friend and maybe has the best qualities of a husband. You are taking your thoughts a bit too far. Apart from his good qualities, he is a kind of…pervert. Like, he offers you to take the shower when he will be sealing the boxes and after so much of insisting, you took a quick shower and then when you saw him standing near the door, scanning your whole body but fortunately you were dressed. On asking him what he was doing there, he quickly apologized and said that he needed to use the bathroom. But something about his stare is making you feel uneasy, you can feel all the time when you two were packing that his eyes were lingering on you. You even caught him few times stealing glances of you but you ignored it.
“Thanks for the help, Jaemin and I really enjoyed the food. It’s expensive though.”
“Anything for my little mate.” He ruffles your hair and goes to the exit.
Bidding your goodbyes to each other, you are smiling to yourself after closing the door. Maybe the news of leaving the house was not as bad as you thought and also getting housemates in addition was not in your list. You are going to start a different life from tomorrow so it’s the last day of you staying in this house.
As promised last night, Jaemin is happily waiting for you by the side of the road and also brought a van with him to carry your luggage. To your surprise, Jeno is also tagging along with him and you are happy that they are so friendly with you. Both of them didn’t let you to do anything, not even was letting you to carry your purse. You were utterly surprise with this sort of treatment because never once in a lifetime, you ever thought or got this type of behaviour from someone. You are so glad that they are going to be your housemates but what about the fourth one, Mark. Well, you can ignore one person, its not like you are associating with them very closely. You are going to be friendly and all and also most of the time you are going to be working your ass off at your workplace. Atleast for this upcoming one week. Jaemin asks you if you had your breakfast and lunch but you shyly shake your head and he scolds you for it but Jeno was quick to send him off to buy you all some food and himself volunteered to take you to their place, apparently your place too from now onwards.
The ride to the place was having fun with him and listening to different songs and humming to the songs that were of your choices as he insisted you to play your playlist. It was a cute gesture. On reaching to your destination, the day flashes when you entered the same gate without the hope of staying here but today finally you are here. Your previous owner was eyeing Jeno so suspiciously when you were handing over the keys, you doubt she has doubt him as your boyfriend instead of your new house owner.
“Welcome to NeoVilla, pretty one.”
You give a smile, “Thanks for the ride, Jeno.” And when you try to open your car door, Jeno is quick in action as he opens it for you and extends his hand in front for you to hold with a sweet smile on his face. Such a gentleman!
Holding your hand, he takes you inside the villa.
OH MY GOODNESS!
This is your literal impression after getting inside the house. They have arranged for a welcome party for you, not inviting any guests but only them and you as the main spotlight of the party.
“I hope you had a safe and fun ride with Jeno.” Jaehyun walks towards you with a rose in his hand and a sly smirk resting on his face.
“Yeah, he is really such a nice person. And what’s all these for?” You say while showing around the decorations with your hand. He holds your gesturing hand and brings to his lips, planting a soft kiss.
He is such a flirt that before leaving your hand, he winks at you. You shyly laugh it off and tugs your hairs behind your ears before looking around to take your mind off the incident. They are going to be your end if they continue acting like this to you. Their gestures and words having this strong effect on you and they also make you feel like as if you are the centre of their attention. Jeno takes a hold of your hand where still the feelings of Jaehyun’s lips lingering.
Jaehyun goes over to the table and brings a drink for you, “Drinks?” You shake your head sideways and he nods while taking a good look of your outfit, “I see that you love to wear skirts a lot. And also, all these are for you. To welcome our baby to this grand villa.” He smiles in the end of his sentence, taking a small sip from his glass.
“Hey! I’m not a baby though. Me and Jaemin is of same age, we got to know about this last night. So, that means Jeno here is of my age too.”
Jeno takes you towards the table and gestures you to sit and he takes the place beside you, sitting facing you, one hand resting on top of the chair. Jaehyun moves to the other side of the table and stands on the opposite side, leaning on his one hand on the chair and other hand holding the glass. Both of their focus on you, out of shyness, you take a glass and have some water to atleast calm down your racing heart on feeling their continuous stare.
“You might be of my age but still you are the youngest of this household so you are the baby.” Jeno gives you his eye-smile with his cheerful speech.
Jaehyun laughs on hearing his brother, “Yeah that’s true and I will call you baby, my baby.”
His baby. Doesn’t it sound like a boyfriend calling his girlfriend. Hey! Stop. He is not your boyfriend and he can’t be ever. This is the second day that you are meeting him and here you are already falling for him. Huh! Well, not your fault that you are finding their actions and words towards you weird and overwhelming. Not weird actually, the reason is you have never experienced any boy to be treating you like this ever let aside two or three of them all together. You wonder for a while how you are going to stay with these flirts if they are going to treat you like this. You are not going to lie here but honestly if they were someone else then you would have tried to stand for yourself, maybe atleast have rejected the plan on moving here. You are never a vocal person and know to fight for your rights so you don’t have much more expectation but somehow you are letting them to have their ways with you. Simply, you are sttracted to them. You are ignoring their behaviours, them calling you with nicknames and treating you as if…..you are their family member. Well, you are kind of. A housemate.
Jaemin announces his arrival with a whistle and shouting ‘where is my little mate?’ Again, those names. But deep down you are loving it. You are even questioning yourself as to why you are appreciating everything regarding them. But let it aside as food is here and nothing can be prioritised more than this. You had a great lunch with three of them and then when Jaehyun excused himself for having some important works and left the house. You are left back with two sweat hearts. Their playful jokes, flirting here and there and the famous smirks plastered on their face when you are so shy on their compliments. You compared your life back in your previous house with this present and now you see how lonely you were when living all alone but as everything happens for better and now you are here laughing with these two. Everything was going usual until this certain person entered the dining area.
“I see you are having a great time with my brothers, Love.”
Oh, how you forgot that not those three are your only housemates but this menace too. You try to act normal even if the scene from last day is bugging you and Jaemin’s eyes sticked in your figure is not helping it. His eyes dancing between you and his brother and judging how you are shifting in your place. Jeno’s hands come to place on top of yours and with an assuring smile, he nods his head and turns back to his brother who has just entered.
“You are early today, Mark.” Jeno asks.
Mark’s gaze is still on you and you are well aware of it but trying your best to ignore it and focus on the food before you even if you want to run away from the current situation yet you don’t want to waste your favorite food so its better be like this.
“Yeah, Jaehyun would be there to handle the other stuffs so I guess I won’t be needed today and its good as our dear housemate is here.”
Jaemin furrows his eyebrows, “What’s with you calling her love?” You cough on hearing him. He is not going to tell them about what he did to you in your office. Right? It’s nothing much but still. Jeno hands you a tissue and Jaemin continues, “Have you guys met yet?”
Mark widely smiles and takes the seat beside Jaemin and that’s across from you, “Yeah, of course.”
“Where?” Jeno is curious too as where his brother got the chance to meet you outside the house.
“Apparently, the meeting I had yesterday which I thought wont be much useful had me otherwise. It was a lot more interesting than I had ever expected.” Mark is following your every reaction.
“You both were in the same meeting?” Jaemin asks his brother and looks at you.
“Yes and that even she was sitting beside me. She was late though. Very irresponsible employee.” Mark chuckles before adding, “but we had fun right, Y/n?”
Hearing your name from him is reminding you how close you both were yesterday and now those thoughts with these men’s piercing gaze is a lot for you.
“Ye-yes.” Even when he is having this cheerful personality still you are getting nervous in front of him. You need to get out of here. You turn towards Jeno catching him already staring at you.
“Jeno, please show my room. I would like to freshen up and unpack few things which I need for tomorrow.”
He nods and offers you to follow him towards the stairs. The feeling of two lingering stares are tingling you but knowing whose are those, you don’t look back but quickening your steps to follow the large steps of Jeno.
You were sure of getting a nice, cozy and big bedroom but never in a while you thought it to be this big, it’s such a luxurious one. Your shocked eyes are in awe with the room and the decorations are on point with the mixtures of the pastel colours with the proper blending of the colours of sheets and the curtains. The unique and elegant furnitures placed nicely at the exact places is having the exact soft vibes that you wish to come to home after each stressful day at work. They are really asking for much less money for such a lavish place. Now, the money is still a separate topic for you.
“Wow. This is so nice. Who has decorated it?” You are still in awe and touching everything so delicately as if it might break under your touch.
“Mostly Jaehyun as he has given his whole heart while preparing this room for you and me and Jaemin has helped him out with everything. Jaemin is very picky when it’s come to perfection so that’s all about.”
“I love it so much. Thanks for your time in preparing all these. It was not necessary but still I appreciate it so much.”
Even when you are happy that they have worked hard to prepare your room together, your mind still wonder where Mark was during all that time. Is he not liking that you will be staying here? Casting a glance at the man standing beside you, you sit on the edge of the bed and call his name, catching his attention and he looks up from his phone.
“What about Mark?”
He raises his brows, “What about him?”
“Does he not like me staying here? You said you all have done this then where was he?”
He fishes his phone inside and takes slow steps towards you, “well my pretty one, he is kind of busy with his meetings and overseas events so basically he is barely at home but he has some other surprises for you.”
“Other surprises?”
“I don’t know anything more other than this.” He stands in front, so close to you that you have to look up to meet his eyes. He leans down and you lean a bit back to give him space but that was not the deal. He cages you in his arms, his breaths fanning your shoulders, he whispers, “I see you are worrying about Mark when I’m right in front of you.”
Your hands move up to push him away when he takes a gentle hold of it and stare at your eyes, blinking between your eyes and lips. When you lick them, it seems more kissable and he is just trying his best to control himself. Your shocked eyes staring back at him.
“Jeno…”
“Am I not enough to worry for?” He asks you in a low throaty voice. Damn, you feel so under control with the voice that you feel like submitting yourself to him but again. It’s just you overthinking about their motives, they are just some huge flirts playing around with you and nothing is serious. You don’t know why but you just nod. Your heart racing and breath heaving due to this close proximity, you can feel him leaning down closer and anytime, he might can kiss you.
Just a few inches more, his breaths are slipping inside through your lightly parted lips and his hand holding your wrists has loosened. Your back is almost touching the sheets. You gulp but not stopping him and letting him. LETTING HIM TO KISS YOU.
Someone knocks at the door and your hands push him from over you. He stands straight and brushes his hair. He is half annoyed for getting interrupted by someone from the other side of the door who is continuously knocking and calling out your name.
“What happened, Jaemin?” Jeno asks his brother but maintaining an eye contact with you.
“What are you doing there? Let me have-“Jaemin got cut off when Jeno abruptly opens the door to which the other man who was leaning against it got stumbled.
“What the fuck man! I was about to fall.” He glares at the man who has opened the door but the latter has the same expression in return. He then turns towards you to see that you are having a flushed expression and faking a smile.
“Woah! Did I miss something? Why are you blushing? Did he-“
Jeno presses his palm over his brother’s mouth before dragging him out. It’s a little nice to see the brotherly bonding but you just got up and quickly close the door and leans to it, releasing a deep breath.
Am I that dumb?
You are letting them being so close to you. Not as a friend but more than that. Friends don’t pull you towards them and whispers and leans down to kiss you. You are just giving in to them and this is the thing that is not screaming inside you.
……….
One week. You had been given one week time to pay off the rent and you know that you are fucked up. You blamed yourself for infinite times why you have spent so much on those dresses and jewelleries which you don’t even know when you had last worn them. You are very calculative about your expenditure but you can’t help yourself in buying costly dresses and some useless stuffs for which you have to regret a lot, the way you are right now. Last month, you had a trip with your old town friends and that’s also the reason why you are having shortage of money. The rent for this month was already paid off to the previous owner so you were not worrying about that but you didn’t have in the plan to move to another place and pay your three months rent in advance. It’s a bit high in value than the previous but cheaper than the rest available on the site.
So, today in the end of the week, you have decided to have a talk with Jaehyun about the money. You are so nervous to meet him as you had promised him last time that you would pay him but now here you are now making your way to his room. You are just about to knock when you can hear a voice.
“What’s my love doing here?”
Turning around you are met with him, only in his jeans, drying his hair with the towel and oh gosh, he is shirtless. You quickly turn towards the door. You can hear his laugh and footsteps. Your hope of him going away crashes down when you feel him back-hugging you. Isn’t it too much for knowing you only just for one week?
“Mark, move.”
“Why? I like it this way.” His cold lips touching the warm skin of your neck, you are sure he just had a shower. You hold his hands around you and worryingly looking at the door. Jaehyun can open his door anytime but you don’t want him to see you like this in this state with Mark.
“We should not do this. Jaehyun might see us and- “
“He won’t be a problem here.” He plants a soft kiss and a shiver runs down your body and his nose nudges in your loose hair, inhaling your sweet scent. “But tell me, do you not like it?”
Do you? If not, then girl push him away. He is being a tease here. You don’t want him to take advantage of you being the only girl in this household. But it’s not like he is taking advantage as you are lowkey loving the way he is holding you tight in his embrace, his breath is the only air surrounding you and your brain fuzzing with the multiple thoughts. This little moment got interrupted with the opening of the door in front of both of you. You try to push him away but he holds you tighter.
“Y/n, what are you doing?” He takes in the view in front of him and clenches his jaw, brushing his hair back, he looks at Mark with raised eyebrow, “And Mark? You are here and also with her.”
“Jealous? Well, little missy was looking so tensed standing in front of your door so I thought to cheer her up and I guess we were having fun but you interrupted us.” Mark smirks in the end of his statement and rest his chin on your shoulder.
“Jaehyun…”
Mark stands straight and comes beside you and Jaehyun’s glares to his brother turns into a soft expression on hearing your sweet voice. “Yes?”
Mark leans to the wall beside the door frame but his eyes are still checking you out.
“I have something important to say.” You look between them and add “but with you alone.”
“Oh, come on dude, why can’t I be included here?”
“Mark, get the fuck out.” Jaehyun pushes him away when he tried to enter the room with you. As soon as he offered you to enter, he pushes the other one out despite his complains and shut the door.
“So, Y/n. What’s there bothering you?”
“Um, like you know today it was supposed to be me paying off the rent but I’m sorry that I couldn’t arrange for it.” You are looking down with guilt and fearing that he might say you to leave the house tomorrow but you are still hoping him to atleast consider your condition.
“Do you have any major problem?”
“no. its just I might have spent my money recklessly that now, when I’m in need I don’t have.”
He chuckles on your pout and grabs your shoulder, his dimples having an appearance, “So, how much time do you need until you can arrange for it?”
“By the end of this month. When I will get my pay-check in hand, I would definitely pay you.”
“And if you can’t?” He is staring deeply in your orbs.
“I will do anything for you. Just don’t kick me out this house.”
“Anything?”
You pause for a moment and lick your lips. His eyes read your every little reaction and shifting your hands on his wrist.
“Yes.”
...............
Living with these four men is an adventure for you. Most of the daytime, you all are out of the house, having separate lives at your own workplaces but the rest of the day is crossing paths with them often. You haven’t been friends with boys ever in your life but living with four men is a thing no one would have ever expected from you, not even you. So, it’s giving you a new experience and that’s being sexually frustrated around them. You haven’t been laid before and their playful touches, them being close to you and handling you as they want and them flirting with their seductive voices is not helping the condition. Everything is becoming too much for you, they are well aware of your irritated self when they are teasing you and leaving you high and dry but who are you to complain about this. Even if you haven’t been experienced this, it’s not like you are going to miss this once in a blue moon opportunity to slip through your hands. You are skill-fully wearing skirts higher often and you know their hawk eyes following you all around the house. You are well aware of the mischievous and not so pleasant thoughts running through your mind. Sometimes whenever you catch them looking at you, you run off but secretly you smile to yourself. They sometimes even sneak inside your bedroom at night and the reason is that they are bored and they want you to spend time with them and you happily have your time with them either watching movies or going out for long drives and walking.
You never had so comfort and peace coming back from work, either one of them will always prepare the food for you and the other would prepare the bath for you and you really appreciate it so much. You all have become close in these few days so much as if you know each other for a long time, maybe that’s the perk of having roommates. Always, one of them tries to come home early before than you so you don’t have to come to home alone. Standing at the entrance, smiling widely with some gifts. Yeah, it’s their habit of gifting you something or the other. Sometimes, it’s just a chocolate or an earring or any makeup products or dresses. You have told them several times not to spend so much but Jaehyun is always ending the conversation.
“You aren’t going to tell me what to do for my baby.”
And Mark giving you his infamous smirk. Well, previously it was the conclusion you had that Mark is the biggest pervert and flirt in this household but you were so wrong when you noticed some change in behaviour with Jeno and Jaemin. Jeno has a complicated personality, if he wants to be sweet with you, he will smile softly, giving you little hugs and asks you if you need something but if he is frustrated with something, maybe due to your endless teasing them with you walking around the house being so oblivious of their stares, he would have a tough façade like asking you why you are suddenly so late coming from your work, why you are wearing this particular dress, why you are being a bad girl. Bad girl? Now that’s a thing which you often hear from Jaemin as well, this guy is always having an expression which you can’t decipher whether it’s a smirk or a teasing smile. He would always be smiling at you but the words coming out his mouth are just in contrast with it.
Jaehyun is the eldest one so he is a bit secretive with his behaviour but you know his eyes are always on you, only you. If he ever offers you a glass of water or a cup of coffee, his fingers would brush over yours while handing over the cup to you and him maintaining the eye contact all the way until you are finishing your drink. Mark again had another meeting at your office and he specially wanted your presence in the meeting and you know the reason, just to ask you stupid questions and to show people that you know each other more than others. It’s very common these past days for him to give you rides to your office.
Surprisingly, they even brought you to an official meeting to a grand cuisine. You first thought that they were joking but it’s so clear when Mark handed you a red dress to wear.
“Well, I would not have bought it if we were joking. So sorry that I wasn’t being the part to decorate the room and your welcome party but this is my little gift to you.”
That was not the only thing as he suddenly puts a diamond teardrop necklace around your neck.
“What’s this for?” You ask him while touching the expensive item on you.
“To let others know that you are ours.”
Ours. You are hearing this term a lot from them even also today before they went out for meeting. Yes, today is the day when you are supposed to pay off the rent and you would be cleared of all the debts and the tension of owing them would be gone. But the message popped up on your phone screen was not really expected. Jeno has texted you that they wont be coming back home tonight as they are stuck at the place due to the bad weather so they would be returning the next day maybe at afternoon or evening. You have a pout on reading the texts. Even others have texted the same following him. Without caring about much of your diet, you grab some snacks and binge watched some shows whole night.
It is late afternoon when you hear the unlocking of the front door and you know that they are finally back. You got down the stairs quickly to greet them back but uh oh. Why are they looking at you like that? Oh gosh! You are only in your oversized t-shirt hanging loose on your frame and now you realised that how you fell asleep during dawn after binge watching whole night. They are still in their business suites must be tired but still managing to look the best out of all and here you are despite being home, looks more messed up than them.
“What were you doing?” Mark asks you while taking off his coat and placing it on top of the sofa.
“I-I was sleeping.”
Jaehyun asks you in worry, “Did we wake you up?”
“No no. I was just awake when I heard the door. I’m sleeping for so long since morning and I must be stinking.”
“Why? Are you sick?” Jaemin is already ready to call the doctor.
“No, I was bored last night and binged watched some shows and it went like that.”
Jeno scoffs, “Again watching those stupid dramas.”
“Hey!” You try to protest against him to which he raises his brow and smirks, but suddenly you remember an important thing and speak out loudly catching their attention, well it was already on you anyways. “I got the money for the rent. I will give it you right now.”
When you turn back, Mark speaks up, “Let us all freshen up and then we can talk about that.”
There is nothing to talk about but still you nod and go to your room as you need to do your routines as well.
After almost two hours, you got a text from Jaehyun asking you to come to his room. You took the money from on top of the night stand and skipped to his room. You knock on the door and call out his name but no response. First of all, it was weird to send you text when he is just in the other room away few steps across from yours. Again, the next thing is his text was just not even two minutes ago and now he suddenly not replying you. Did he just leave? Hearing some shuffles from inside, you push open the door. You are met with darkness and search for the switches to turn it on.
“Jaehyun, are you there?”
Silence.
“Jaehyun…”
You feel someone wraps their hand from behind and resting their face in the crook of your neck. Wet sloppy kisses and nose lightly tapping your ear. You feel hands tightening around you and teeth nibling on your skin. still STILL you are not protesting it. You know his cologne and his touch well as everyday he is the one who offers you the morning coffee.
“You smell so sweet.” He whispers in your ears, biting it lightly before kissing down the jaw. “tell me to stop.”
“I brought the money.”
Someone stands in front of you and takes the envelope from your hand. “I don’t think this is the actual amount.”
“Yes that is. that is the amount of three months.”
Pushing away the hairs to the other side, he mumbles on your shoulder, “No. That’s not. You were supposed to give it yesterday but now you are late for one whole day. So, you have to pay the interest.”
“What? But you all were not there.”
“Uh ah. It is what it is.” The person before you, speaks up and well that laugh following in the end of his statement is making it obvious that he is Mark.
Jaehyun is still mumbling sweet words to you and most commonly ‘my baby’.
“You said you are going to do anything if you can’t pay the money on time so, will you?”
“But-“ Someone turns on a dim light inside the room. Mark holds your chin to make you look up, “Will you?”
“….yes.”
Yes what? What are you agreeing for? Just run out of the room. Jaemin emerges from the bathroom and his smirks following his eyes scanning your whole body just in shorts and a loose t-shirt. He comes beside Mark to get the envelope and places it on top of a table. Jaehyun has the best view of the outside from his room and your eyes watching it when it got interrupted by when Mark pulls your face closer.
“Tell us to stop.”
You didn’t. You didn’t even dare to look away from his big round hipnotising eyes. His thumbs brushing your lips so delicately as if it’s made of glass. Mark leans down but pauses when he is just a breath away from your lips. You are aching for him to kiss but this man knows how to tease and his damn smirk on seeing you frustrated.
“Just kiss me already.”
His eyes take in the every detail of your face, admiring you up so close even when he teases you every day but not like this when you are so turned on and frustrated for him and your body aching for his lips. With a last look, he closes the distance between your lips. His kiss starts with the soft movements and slow rhythm as if he is calculating his next step but soon it turned into teeth clashing with each other, hands gripping tightly on your neck leaving marks and you can feel Jaehyun has retreated himself. Kiss is heating up and you can feel him smiling in the kiss when his other hand snakes under your tee only to find out you are not wearing anything.
“No bra?”
You are really embarrassed. You didn’t think about earlier to be in this situation when he called you in his room. You thought to just give him the money and go back to your room. Thinking, they must have been tired from last day and craving for some sleep but all you can see is them craving for something else. His hand messages one of your breasts and other one adjusting the position of your face to get a better access.
You part your lips from Mark to take a deep inhale when he flicks your nipple. You feel someone playing with your waistband and you look to your back to see Jaehyun smiling down at you.
“Tell me to stop.” When he sees you with no sign of stopping him, he chuckles, “I will then take that as a yes.”
Tell him to stop for what? You generally don’t know anything about this. You haven’t been fucked by anyone before but this new sensation is really exciting you when you are under the watch of four set of eyes. You know once you are into this then you cant escape it but when you are enjoying this too much then why to stop it all of a sudden.
Jaehyun’s hand disappear into your shorts and he chuckles darkly in your ears, “I see you are wet for me.”
“For us.” Mark adds while pumping both of your breasts, earning low moans out of you.
Jeno brings his attention towards him to your side, cupping the jaw tightly and you know, it’s turning red under his hold. His dark eyes staring down at you, “I see you are so in need of us like we are for you.”
You nod in compliance without any hesitation and that’s when he crashes his lips on you. He doesn’t want to waste time on going softly and his aggressiveness is all visible in the kiss, so out of rhythm but still you are enjoying it. Not sure how long you’ve been kissing for, only until Jeno tugs on your hair and pulls you closer to him. You are so lost in the kiss that you didn’t notice when Mark has put down your shorts along with his t-shirt and pants.
“Jeno, get the fuck off. It’s my turn to taste the sweet lips.” Jaemin complains from his place while leaning against a wall.
“Shut up.”
Parting from the kiss, you can feel the palm cupping your mound and pressing it tightly. You whimper and clutch Mark’s bare shoulder.
“Jaehyun….”
“You like it huh!” His deep voice whispering in your ears and fingers rubbing your clothed heat is earning moans out of you. As soon as Jeno turns his head, he is shoved off by Jaemin, who even pushed Mark aside to cup your face in his palms.
“I just want to fuck you so bad and show them that only I can make you scream and feel the best.” Jaemin made others growl with his statement. He is not getting fazed by it but getting lost with you, with the feel that you are finally in his hands and that all flushed up and turned on.
“Don’t be a jerk right now, Jaemin” Jeno growls.
Jaemin gives you small pecks, giving kitten licks to your lips before sucking them so hard that they appear thick jelly. Being satisfied, he starts kissing you. He is almost eating your half of the face, not caring how your hands holding his biceps tightly with every bite of his on your lips and every tight press on your heat by the other person’s hand. You are feeling a tickling sensation in your stomach when Jaehyun rips of his hand leaving you whimpering in Jaemin’s hold.
He goes to sit on the edge of the bed and calls out to Jaemin to give others chance. Others laugh when you whine in losing every contact from your body. Your heated up body aching for everything, for their touch, for them to ruin you. You are insane for them at this point.
Jaehyun signals you to sit on his lap and obediently you follow him, sitting on him and placing your hands around his neck. His hand comes up to brush your hairs and play with them and you smile at him.
“You are so beautiful and the prettiest baby.” Curling some strands around his fingers, “I just want to ruin you and see this pretty face begging me to stop until you are at the mercy of hell.”
“And what if I want to be ruined?”
His shocked eyes staring back at you. He never thought of you replying back to him like this but having you like this is making him go hard. He is in his boxers and if you look around the room, they all are except Jeno whose shirt is unbuttoned and showing the abs.
“I see you are liking it so much that your little mouth is talking back.”
Jaemin had it enough, “now when it’s your turn, you all are taking time as if we got one long week to fuck her continuously but when it’s mine, you are hurrying up as if we going to run late for 9 to 5 job and we would be fired on being late.”
Mark chuckles before patting him, “it’s okay my dear brother. You will be getting your chance and we won’t be interrupting again.”
Your mind was off to the place where the two brothers were slightly bickering when you feel Jaehyun biting your neck and trailing juicy kisses all over the throat and jaw. His hands slides inside the tee to play with your nipples, flicking them, rolling between his fingers. Your every shift on his lap is earning a groan from him as his clothed painful tip is getting brushed by your wet clothed heat. He brings his lips to yours and bite it down before hungrily kissing it. You are a mess of whimpers and moans and it’s like music to them. He is giving equal attention to both of your breasts and pumping so hard that you gasp in the kiss.
The others are getting hard with the view unfolding in front of them. There is shuffle on the bed behind Jaehyun and when you both break the kiss, you see Mark sitting against the headboard with legs wide spread in front.
“Now come here.”
Jaehyun pats your cheek before placing you on the bed beside him, you crawl to Mark and when you try to sit on his lap, he turns you around and places between his legs, facing to others.
“This is nice. They can have a great show ahead.”
He pulls your shirt up even when you hesitate but he simply held you down and rips the tee off from you. Your hands automatically comes in action to hide yourself but he pins them down behind your back.
“Don’t even dare to go against me.” He guides your hand over his length and wraps your fingers around it, he groans on feeling your soft warm hand around his thick hardened dick.
“Ah fuck! Keep going.” He moans in your ears.
Jeno got on the bed and Jaehyun still sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at you hungrily. Jeno comes in front of you and pecks you before sliding your panty down.
“You are perfect for us.”
Mark slides a finger in,Jeno bent down to lace his mouth with your exposed breast. You whimper with both of them toying with you. Marks fingers pumping in and out of you and Jeno’s tongue licking your hard nipples, pulling them between his teeth and then sucking the whole. You are already a mess just under their mouth and fingers
Jeno’s other hand grabs your other breast giving it a squeeze and you moan out his name when Mark slaps your pussy for not getting the attention. Jeno’s saliva trailing down your chest to stomach and Marks pace increases with the addition of fingers. Your body arch with the pleasure running down your veins, you hum and moan dreamily.
“Are you near?” Mark asks you planting a kiss on your cheek. You nod to him and hand squeezes his cock. He pushes your hands off from him.
“Words, love.”
“Yes yes. I want to come. Please.”
“That’s a good one. Cum for me.”
As soon as his words fall from the lips, you scream out his name for the first orgasm of the night. They all have the satisfactory smile on their faces. You come on his fingers and Mark licks the fingers before turning you around and Jeno sit up on his knees and Jaehyun pats his back.
Jaemin in the other hand watching you with hooded eyes and hand stroking his length and imagining you doing it.
Mark pats your head and smiles at you, “ride me.” You haven’t look at him up so closely before but he has the youthfulness and attractive smile. His doe eyes and flawless skin is a perfect addition to his charming face. He is kind of cute and a soft one when it comes to sex.
You grind on his thigh on hearing his words before placing yourself on the length. You hiss and cry out with the stretch but he slowly guides you and shush you with massaging your sides. Your eyes closed tightly and the pain making your whole body still.
“It’s okay love. You can do it. Just move, the pain will go away.”
You did as he told you and slowly slowly the pain is turning into pleasure. You haven’t fully got off the high from the previous orgasm but still having the feel of the building of knot in your stomach. The burning sensation of the stretch is still there but blinding by the sensation of you reaching to your climax.
“Fuck, you are so tight and feels so good. A perfect one for me.” He taps on your thigh, “eyes on me. I want to see you coming.”
Few more thrusts hitting the exact spot, your body shakes for the release and you come undone following him. You lay on top of his chest when he flips your position and kissed you.
Mark pulls out from you and Jeno shoved him aside.
“Such a pretty one, laying down all fucked up and ready for me. I want to see you crying and whimper under me.”
Your mind not registering what he is saying but your body got so sensitive when he hovers on top of you, watching you like an animal watching his prey. Your hands go up to touch his face, he quickly gets a hold of it and guides them to his abs. Your fingers tracing every bumps until it goes down to touch his hard painful dick, he holds your wrists and pins them above your head.
Inhaling your scent in the neck, he parts your legs wide enough to place himself. His other hand tracing your curves and rubbing your thighs and toying your leaking entrance with his tip. Your whimpers and whines earning smirk and chuckles from him. Your hips raising up to get in touch with his dick is amusing him. Your sobs are a great view to them. Mark is again hard seeing you like this.
“Be ready for me princess. I won’t be gentle like Mark.”
With that he enters your entrance without any warning, your loud moans filling up the entire room and them watching you falling apart under their merciless brother.
“You feel so good. Fuck! I’m getting addicted to it. I can’t even get enough of you.” He growls with his inhumane pace. He didn’t even let you to adjust before he starts moving. You can feel him much bigger than Mark and it’s already too much for you. Getting laid for the first time and having used by four of them is excess.
His tip hits your g-spot and you scream on the sensation. He smirks at your reaction and starts to whisper filthy stuffs in your ears, making you clench around him.
“Jeno please slow down.” Tears rolling down your eyes but he doesn’t have any care but still pushing himself inside of you. You can feel his tip poking your stomach.
“Please, slow down.”
Ignoring you, he is slamming into your pussy with you begging under him and clutching his hands under his entangled hold. Veins popping on his forehead is making him more hot.
“I know you want to cum. So cum for me.”
You let it loose with a scream of his name and soon he cum inside of you. The cumming of him inside of you is a different sensation and it’s turning you on more and heating up your body, fuzzing your mind. The overstimulation is making you whine and soon you both ride out your high.
He slowly pulls it out. Your hands clutching the bedsheet and pulling it, toes curling with the sensation of being overwhelmed. Your whole body is sensitive. Each touch is like an igniting tip. Jaehyun taps your cheek, “are you still here?”
You hum in response and he smiles in satisfaction.
“On hands and knees baby. I would like to see how your ass fits me in.”
“W-What?” You stammer.
“Don’t worry, baby,” Jaehyun assures you. “It’ll feel good, you just have to trust us. You can be a good girl for us tonight, right?”
“I-I don’t think I’m r-ready for this-“
“You are,” Jaehyun soothes. “Don’t worry.”
“No no please. I can’t take anymore and this…I can’t do it please.”
Your protests were deaf to their ears when Jaemin shifts you to the desired position with your ass pointing exactly in front of Jaehyun’s dick. He is using his arousal as the lube around his cock and slams inside of you. You cry out but not for long as Jaemin slammed his cock inside your mouth.
“You’re so fucking tight,” Jaehyun hisses and hold your hip still. “Your ass is taking me so well and as if it’s made for me.”
You whine around Jaemin’s cock and when he doesn’t got any reply, Jaehyun spanks your ass leaving a red mark of his handprint.
The stretch is so painful and tears continuously falling down your face at the feeling. Jaehyun is spanking you to see the vibrating muscles of your ass and the red marks urging him to thrust deeper. His has started with rhythmic thrust with Jaemin but soon became uneven.
“So good, you’re doing so good.” Jaemin praises. “Your mouth feels so warm and I want you to suck me everyday. You will do it, right?”
You didn’t reply but nod with his cock deep down your throat, choking you. Jaehyun spits on his dick and slams harder. You can feel him hitting your sweet spot.
“Can’t reply huh?”
Jaehyun chuckles, “don’t be mean Jaemin. She is stuffed with your cock inside her mouth. What do you expect?”
Jaemin grabs your hairs in a fist and pushes your face closer to him. Aggressively thrusting inside your mouth, he pulls out leaving you gasping for air.
“Open your mouth wide and close your eyes.”
You don’t have any room to protest so you did as he told you. Then you can feel hot liquid pouring inside your mouth and hitting your face, slipping to your jaw throat and chest, mixing with your sweats.
“No more…please…I can’t.”
Jaemin pats your cheek and plants a kiss on top of your head.
Jaehyun is still reaching his climax and you are about to cum.
“I’m near.”
“Hold it.”
“No no I can’t. I want to cum.”
“Either you are holding it in or you are not cumming tonight.”
Your exhausted body couldn’t protest anymore. Your cries are interrupted when Mark enters his finger inside your moth shushing you.
“It’s okay. It’s the last one and you can do it.”
Jaemin and Jeno playing with your nipples from both the sides leaving you a moaning mess. Jaehyun’s thumb rubbing your clit, igniting your climax. You are speaking gibberish and they don’t mind it. Every last muscle of your body is holding you back . You are sucking on Mark’s fingers for dear life.
“Cum for me baby.”
He couldn’t even complete his sentence that your whole body shakes under their hold. Them squeezed your nipples and Jaehyun spanked you again, Mark pushed his fingers deeper making you choke on them. You are still moaning out Jaehyun’s name around Mark’s fingers.
Jaehyun soon cum inside you and slowly rides out his high. As soon as they felt your body giving up. They stop their action and puts you in the middle of the bed, laying on your back. Your droopy eyes trying to open but Mark places his palm over them.
“Shh…close it. Jaemin is preparing a bath for us and maybe we can have round 2.”
You almost whisper it out, “no please I can’t.”
“Hey, I’m kidding. He is just preparing the bath for us to get freshen up. Me and Jeno will clean up so don’t worry and take rest.”
You turn towards Jeno, “you all came inside me. Did you have the protection?”
���Of course not. Why do we need that? When we can take care of you and our baby?”
You got shocked, “baby? I don’t want to get pregnant. We just had this with the flow. We are not married. We can’t have a baby.”
Mark brushing the hair away and pulling a cover on top of you, smiling down at you “if after this you are still not pregnant then we have to try again.”
“What?”
“You are ours and the baby is ours too. So you don’t have a say here.” Jeno proudly says.
Jaehyun comes behind Mark, “if the marriage is the only thing holding us back then we will arrange for it soon.”
“No. This is not right.” You add, “And what about my rent?”
“Your rent was paid on the day when you first stepped your foot here for the first time.” Jeno states.
“What are you saying?”
“Don’t overthink now. We can discuss this later. Have some rest. Atleast, for now you are our responsibility.” Mark cooes you to sleep. Your exhausted body couldn’t manage to protest much and fell into sleep.
.
.
.
.
Jaemin emerges from the bathroom watching how his brothers staring at your sleeping figure.
“Is she sleeping?”
“Yeah, having so many thoughts inside her little brain but anyways they are not needed to be answered.” Jeno says and smiles at his brother.
“So my plan to bribe her house owner was good. We got her for ourselves after waiting for four years and scaring every boy whoever tried to approach her.”
Mark chuckles, “I was getting annoyed with watching her from afar every day. Everyday the scene from the party flashed in front of me of the day where we saw her for the first time. And I knew I need to get her.”
Jeno nods on agreeing with his brother. He could feel How it was painful and frustrating to see you everyday but couldn’t get near you unless they came up with this nice plan and that you are in their cage. You are not going to escape it soon.
“So, my plan worked for the best. Honestly, you all were great in acting on the first day.”
Jaemin smirks, “of course, Jaehyun.”
You are in a new place, not homeless but inside a cage. Do you want to escape or stay with them?
[ please do tell me whether you liked or not? If you liked it then please give it a reblog in appreciation.]
Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @jaehunnyy @hyuukah @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @jenosbigtoe @loveforred @stolasisyourparent @zgzgzh @yuri-loves-taeyong @loblyjaywa @ethelia @sexygrass @haechansbbg @technologyculturedneo @mimi14berrybear @onlyoursol-ace @i4kt @zhonglele02 @toroufriteh @jsuhsweet @hismine @minkyuncutie @pe4ch14
#cultofdionysusnet#kvanity#nct#nct 127#nct dream#nct x reader#nct jaehyun#nct mark#nct jeno#nct jaemin#nct 127 x reader#nct dream x reader#jung jaehyun x reader#mark x reader#jeno x reader#jaemin x reader#nct smut#nct hard thoughts#nct hard hours#nct fluff#nct 127 smut#nct dream smut#nct 127 fluff#nct dream fluff
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you’ll see a trans boy be like “i dont personally have the power to oppress you” and then later the same day 3 of their little trans boy friends will start calling you out for making the first trans boy cry so hard he almost died (by disagreeing with him) and then all the cis women in the space will instantly side with the fragile little boys against the scary big [t-slur] who uses intimidating words like “transmisogyny” and thats how the whisper network against you starts, leading to far reaching professional and social consequences that never leave you
This didn’t happen.
Not this way, at least. All marginalized people are at all times at risk of being canceled unfairly. Their marginalization tends to play a major part in that, obviously. Trans women get hit with it a lot and that fucking sucks, and some transmascs are in TERF-y circles and can theoretically use that against transfems should they feel the need to.
This that I’m quoting, however, is a fantasy. It’s a page from a dream journal. People are giddily imagining things like this happening because they live in a world where trans women are feared and have their reputations ruined by lies, and they want to exploit that for their own benefit. The best way of doing this is putting themselves above other trans people, because cis people don’t give enough of a fuck to care or get involved with these bullshit arguments, but if you whine about other marganalized people they will actually be affected by it and forced into the conversation you created out of thin air. It’s not so much a victimization complex as it is a death cult fascination with the misery of transfemininity identical to the TERF obsession with fymyl suffering, defining ‘trans woman’ as 'the thing that feels pain always and forever.’
It’s disgusting and I can’t imagine identifying with such a sniveling and pathetic vision of what being a trans woman is like. It’s so undignified it makes my skin crawl. It’s embarrassing. There’s nothing in this crying little effigy covered in pins and needles I can relate to. I can’t tell if these people need more self-esteem or less. I’m so fucking tired of this wounded gazelle shit.
But for the TRF, transfemininity is all about the abuse. Just look at the beyond absurd assertion, made over and over again, that trans women are maliciously called the t-slur by other trans people. That’s just. No? No. But in claiming that the t-slur can only ever refer to trans women, and that transfeminine suffering takes priority above all else because everyone forever at all times hates trans women more than anyone else, it again becomes necessary to construct this false vision of intercommunity dynamics where “scary big t-slur” is a stereotype that exists within the community in the first place, and which trans men are constantly using against trans women.
It’s just so blatantly selfish for one to act like a transfeminist when all one does every single day is bitch about other trans people. We’re all about to get fucked harder than ever and there are people who profess to sincerely believe they’re fighting the revolution by making up lies about their siblings. I’m easily triggered by transphobia outside of the community and yet even I manage to engage with actual transphobes and make them considerably less transphobic, yet people who don’t even know enough about what TERFs believe to understand they hate men too will fritter the day away on how they could theoretically be canceled if they did something bad ,and wouldn’t that be the worst thing ever? Oh, what if I broke up with someone and our mutual friends believed I was the jerk, because that’s a situation that exclusively happens to poor helpwess twans women and the mere suggestion I could possibly be a jerk in the first place is unthinkable? Hate to keep saying this, but trans women are being actually murdered and this obsessive fixation on “social murder” within the trans community exists purely to spice things up with a feeling of danger because the spaces we’ve managed to carve out for ourselves are otherwise a little too safe and it feels more authentic to the Laura Palmer Ultimate Victim narrative. Massively popular transfems with over ten thousand followers will happily sic them on people for the most upsettingly asinine reasons and then cry-type about how they’re the underdogs in every possible social situation.
But most obnoxious of all is the implication here that, because this can only happen to trans women, gossip and slander does not happen to other trans people, or other marginalized people in general.
That’s fucked, considering how much this discourse has attacked specific targets. It’s most maddening to see that “the coiner of the word transandrophobia has dykebreaking+detransitioning-of-transfems kink” has evolved to “most people who believe in transandrophobia have those kinks” because I constantly see TERFs making huge compilations of transfem blogs engaging in cis dykebreaking kink from the dom perspective. Just transfem dom blog after transfem dom blog enthusiastically into cis dykebreaking, which TERFs use to paint us in a way that fits their narrative.
Literally the only example they can ever give of a transandrophobia-connected person* being a dom for dykebreaking with transfem subs is someone who was being paid by a transfem. Detrans kink is overwhelmingly non-transfems, but almost exclusively as subs to either transfems or cis men, and those transfems aren’t getting paid for it, they actually are just in it for the love of the game. There’s nothing wrong with that, but people want to act like there is when it’s anyone else, and that’s not only weird but also setting up a bear trap to step in later.
Which gets to the point that, hey, wow, I’ve noticed a lot of cis women in particular who self-identify as TME are super into anti-shipping. You cannot possibly imagine you’re safe for trans women if your big issue with trans men articulating their oppression is “they masturbate evilly.” Popular transfem blogs will talk at length about how you shouldn’t judge transfems for their kinks but cis women are so eager to kinkshame transmascs that they not only make shit up out of thin air, but specifically copy and paste kinks almost entirely made up of transfems onto transmascs. Someday very soon a TERF is going to show them it’s much more convenient to be a general transphobe and not make special exceptions for the ones that use the same pronouns as you. They’re going to show your anti-ship cis lesbian friend one of those transfem dykebreaking blog compilations and she’ll take Trans Rights Are Human Rights out of her bio within the hour.
Like, even if you didn’t care about being monstrously inhumane to others, all of this is so against transfem self-interests in the long run, but people who consider themselves the most transfeminist transfeminists there are, of a radical nature, one might say, care more about notes than helping anyone, least of all the transfems they’re feeding into a grinder of paranoia and isolation. Especially the isolation.
It’s a little hard to take it seriously when I get accused of calling all trans women groomers for thinking it’s bad when people talk about “curing” other trans women’s “comphet,” how “TMEs” are obligated to bottom for them to compensate for transmisogyny, and writing long treatises on why it’s one’s moral responsibility to throw forcefem kink at random men because they may like it. Like, am I saying trans women are groomers, or am I saying some people use being members of a marginalized community to be kinna gross? People somehow find it in them to be angry at gay men who cross boundaries in spite of the messaging that they’re all sex abusers for the past two hundred years. Especially since 90% of the concern is for other trans women.Like, sorry, but I care enough about trans women that I’m going to say something if I think you’re putting them in a bad situation, and someone being a trans woman doesn’t make them immune to that. But oh, it does if you assume that this is all just common sense transfeminism, and I am in fact making this accusation of most trans women instead of an extremely niche group.
Never mind that in the screencap people use to accuse me of calling trans women “rapists” I was saying something a self-identified TME said was coercive, and whose identity as a Not a Trans Woman I explicitly noted.** Never mind that I’m the not the one telling people to name their blogs after the original transbian separatist group that famously fell apart after resulting in heavy sexual abuse. Never mind that I have said over and over again that TRFs act no more entitled to people’s bodies than lesbian TERFs who treat people they perceive as women the same way.
But I’m supposed to believe that those cis anti-shippers who post things like “every time someone says kinks are fine they’re just protecting predators in the LGBT community” is a great ally and I’m a traitor because they hate men and I don’t?
Sorry, no, not a traitor. A “pickme begging to be beaten to death with hammers.” Who’s probably not even actually a trans woman. Great transfeminism, yall. You’re really fighting transmisogyny.
It’s especially galling now that TRFs have taken to calling transandrophobia “reactionary,” the most bullshit possible way to call a group that includes a huge number of PoC, who they constantly accuse of tokenization, a pack of Nazis. What is transandrophobia reacting to? Bigotry? Golly gee, I guess so! Or maybe it’s “reacting” to transmisogyny as part of the completely absurd idea that trasnmascs steal everything from transfems. Like, yeah, sure girliepop, and we stole misogyny from cis women, right? Sorry you failed to not sound exactly like a TERF yet again but maybe try again tomorrow and you’ll finally earn not being called a radfem.
But isn’t it sooooo mean of me to compare a small amount of trans women to radfems? Like their oppressors? Well, first of all, they regularly refer to Jewish people as Nazis, discourse aside that they do that is simply a true fact which shows they indeed think it’s possible to justify comparisons like that, although in their case it’s just because it feels like getting off a sick burn and rhetorical W to go “ah, but what if this Jewish person…was a Nazi? Checkmate, Zionists.”
Secondly, for as much as TRFs want to claim TERFs only hate them, that’s simply not true and I have conclusively proven this with basic use of Tumblr’s search function and the tag “radblr.” Twice. If you believe they love transmascs and only want what’s best for them, congratulations dipshit, you fell for their propaganda so hard I’m surprised they haven’t managed to convince you you’re not a woman. Or is it only an obvious lie when it’s about you?
Most annoyingly, just on a personal level, is the way TRFs get pissed off at non-transfem feminine AMAB people for daring to exist. The idea that femboy is a slur for trans women would be laughable if it weren’t grotesque in it’s ignorance. The things I’ve read people say about how transmisogynistic it is for an anime character to be a crossdressing man instead of a trans woman are just infuriatingly racist. Not everything is about you and it’s not actually a big deal if people talk about others once in blue moon.
The constant posts about how non-transfems are evil for not making more transfem headcanons, or for headcanoning the TRF’s favorite canonically male character wrong, are particularly childish. I can’t even go into MY favorite blorbo’s tag without seeing people call transmasc headcanons of him inferior literary analysis completely without irony, and every single time they shit like this, they do it while making up the most convoluted and nonsensical explanations for why the character can only be transfem instead, as though the hostility is defensiveness born out of their particular blorbo requiring a lot of creativity to headcanon that way, necessitating going to war to prove they can’t really be a man to assert it as The One Truth. Then they’ll complain until the fucking heat death of the universe about how everyone loves transmasc headcanons because of transmisogyny.
It’s the same unbearable on-sight hostility as when a TERF sees a child on the subway and goes home to type up a novel of a post on how he had the eyes of a future wife-beater, and it’s so irritating to see it spread from one corner to another. Literally, TRFs say that trans men will always turn on trans women and eventually detransition to wield their wymbnly power against us, and I’m expected to not see that as having severe hang-ups about people born into what they want to transition into and have denied to them by society’s transphobia?
What about the fact that they constantly mock AFAB trans people in ways specifically targeting that trait, calling non-binary people “theyfabs,” joking it’s easy to misgender trans men when they have large breasts, and reduce transmasc stereotypes to feminine “soft bois?” Like, yeah, okay, you’re not projecting any gaping insecurities you may have about assigned sex and gender roles when you say transmasc music is ukuleles and transfem music is heavy metal, next tell me about how transmascs all enjoy tea parties and transfems all go to football games.
But it’s not even mostly trans women who keep this shit alive in the first place. A higher percentage of total trans women on this site are into this framework, but the total number of non-transfem trans people and cis women so outweighs them in the first place that it cancels that out. Like, if x is higher than y, and x% of trans women on Tumblr agree but only y% of “TME” people do, that’s still a movement mostly consisting of “TME” people. The full separatist angle would very quickly reveal how little air it has to burn if trans women truly only had themselves to watch out for each other. Unfortunately, self-identified TMEs are much more likely to get TERFier rather than simply less TRF-y when the spell breaks and they realize how fucked up this shit is, while the people who’ve been batted at continue to exercise the patience of a saint and continue to fight for trans women anyway.
And that! Is what hurts! The most! The fact that people do not care about transmascs and in particular the ones who believe in transandrophobia are constantly tripping over themselves to defend and help trans women as much as they possibly can. I wish people saw that. I wish that mattered. It’s like watching a black hole suck up an endless font of goodwill and love. And then going “lol reactionary transandrobros hate trans women.”
That’s it, though, the great irony of it all is that if it were true, it’d never have become popular in the first place. It’s kept aloft by self-identified TMEs who are well-meaning if not especially good at critical thinking, except for the the contingent that are convinced trans men are all misogynistic because they personally are, or even outright seem to get gender euphoria from the idea they have male privilege. But for whatever reason, if “TME” folks didn’t care? The people making up elaborate tales of their potential (social) murder would have to find some other way to get attention.
I suggest throwing on a big red nose and joining a circus.
*and I specify “transandrophobia-connected” but you’d have a hard time rustling up transmasc doms in general from those scenes
**also, despite it being something I saw with my own eyes, I notably did not even feel it hit the level of needing to directly name someone as being who I was basing my assessment of sexual coercive behavior on as being sexually coercive, because I think it's much more a prevalent attitude of pressure in sexual contexts than individual behavior
#I posted this for literally about a minute before deciding it was too aggressive#but I got an email from someone replying to it in that very brief window of time that preserved the text#and I was like oh thank God this is actually normal and fine actually people will like this#so angry about so many things#transmisogyny#transandrophobia#exorsexism#discourse#trans radical feminism#cw slurs#cw sa
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Hey! Love your stuff! But i kinda notice you mainly do Vox and Al so...
Can you do like....... A husker x child!reader headcanons ? (Platonic ofc)
The old bartender finds a kid completely without adult supervision at a bar (their just drawing ) , goes up to them to find thier guardian only to realise they dont have any?
Husker wants to get rid of them but they ultimately grow on him and they become closer. The kid is sarcastic and they shit on alastor together....
And they draw a mocking pic of the radio demon and stick it onto the fridge of the hotel for everyone to see?
There is a LOT of Vox and Alastor in my inbox but I'm a sucker for Husk so-
Husk X Reader Headcanons
❌️Romantic
✅️Platonic
TW: Unaccompanied minor in places a baby shouldn't be
Description: 👆⬆️
Sometimes Husk just needs a break from being a bartender, wanting to be the one being served
He wants to relax in his free time and just have a moment to himself
Actually starts to let loose when he suddenly feels a tiny hand tugging on his wing
Husk is so confused when he looks down to see a child staring up at him, clutching dirty paper and crayons
"Can you help me up, mister..? The chairs are too high..."
Sets you up on the barstool next to him, still too stunned to really ask why you're even here
He looks at the bartender as they pass him his drink, gesturing to you with a wtf expression
They just shrug as they give you a plastic cup with water in it, obviously used to having you around by that point
Finally snaps out of it once the bartender pushes a plate of food towards you
Don't look at him like that it's perfectly natural to be freaked out by a kid at a bar
You're just kicking your legs and drawing, munching on the food given to you
You shouldn't be in a rowdy place like this, who's supposed to be watching you??
"So uh...does your mommy take you here often?"
"No, does yours?"
Motherfucker you're already spilling your water on yourself-here let him help you-how are you so bad at this???
"Your papa then?"
"No, I don't have any parents but- *insert bartender's name* -is really nice and let's me hang out in here.."
You're breaking his fucking heart, kid
"Oh well...don't mind me then."
"Uh yeah, I won't."
Sarcastic for such a little squirt, aren't you?
His drink suddenly tastes sour and he's no longer in the mood for another, watching you unhappily
Starts seeing you every time he visits the bar, always keeping to yourself and oblivious to the things going on around you
At first, he's annoyed whenever he sees you, reluctantly keeping an eye on you and making sure nobody bothers you
Even if they do, you're so witty for your age that you leave just about everyone gobsmacked by the shit that comes out of your mouth
The whole point of coming where was to relax and instead he's worrying about some kid
Then that annoyance slips away to reluctant fondness as you worm your way into his old heart
He starts to look forward to seeing you and starts bringing little things for you like clothes, toys, coloring books
Listens to you babble about what you do with your days and how you've managed to survive on your own
Not the bartender developing a crush on him for it
Husk doesn't even realize how attached he is until one day he visits the bar and you aren't there, the bartender distracted and upset
You haven't shown up in couple of days
He immediately goes looking for you, frequenting all the places he's heard you mention
Is asking anyone if they've seen you, getting more frantic with each negative answer
Finally finds someone who knows where you are, leading Husk to where you've been hiding out
And now he knows why you haven't shown up
Husk gathers up your shaking, feverish body, hating the fact that you're so sick
"H-Husk..?"
You can barely even open your eyes, he can feel your little body burning up in his arms
"Hey kid..."
He's not leaving you here
He takes you back to the hotel so that you can be properly taken care of, leaning on the others when he doesn't know what to do
Charlie and Vaggie are the biggest helps tbh, they're actually good at caring for people
Alastor is entirely unhelpful except for the fact that he can provide medicine and other supplies
"My my~ Look at what the cat dragged in! Aha!"
"Shut up...you weird strawberry man.."
Even when you're sick you're still a riot
He tries to keep Niffty tf away from you but you think she's funny
He and Angel are your makeshift heaters, so fuzzy and warm that you want to cuddle them all the time
Angel complains the entire time though so you don't really prefer him
Mostly you want Husk with you and he sticks with you until you're feeling better
By then you're well acquainted with everyone at the hotel and they're all quite attached to you
Everyone agrees that you live there now and you get your own room even though you have a habit of sleeping in Husk's
It's okay, Husk looks forward to waking up to your adorable face and doesn't even mind when you kick him in your sleep
You play with Niffty and Angel, learn from Charlie and Vaggie, bother Alastor with your less than flattering renditions of him
You don't like that Alastor is so rude to Husk so you've taken to being a little thorn in his side
Kids pick up on their parent's emotions what can I say
Which Alastor absolutely hates but hides it behind a tight smile, he's surprisingly patient with you
And if those drawings of Alastor on the fridge suddenly go missing?? Husk can always ask you to make him another one
Husk finds himself thinking of you as his kid more and more often, surprised that you ever got this close to his heart
And you yourself slip up a few times and call him dad/papa/daddy/father/pops
You're always a little embarrassed by the chorus of awwws that follow afterwards but you don't really mind it anymore
And neither does he if he's being honest
He struggles sometimes to be a proper caregiver for you but you always seem to just love him more for his flaws
You're too fucking cute
You're definitely his kid
And don't worry Husk lets the bartender know you're safe and brings you to visit them after their shifts
I GOT SO CARRIED AWAY WITH THIS I LOVE DADDY!HUSK SO I HOPE YOU LIKE IT TOO
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Not everything needs to be announced, do not put a target on your back.
With the rise in popularity of things like 6b4t, 4b, decenter men, etc I'm seeing a lot of women bragging to maIes about it which will not help us. At the end of the day maIes do not care about our happiness, look at how they get off on womens abuse, they constantly seek to break women down at every twist and turn, they dont actually give a fuck about whether single childfree women are the happiest demographic out there. Maturing as a single childfree woman is realising that it's not just about hating maIes but being indifferent to them, not caring about their opinions at all. Only recognise them for the threat & parasites they are. I dont care to prove maIes wrong. This doesn't mean I ignore or hold positive sentiments to them, I just focus on centering myself and womankind in my life instead. I often see women bring up points about single childfree women & our happiness to maIes when maIes already know that.
Let's assume that maIes dont know that women are happier when we're single, why does it matter that they know just how much happier women are when they're single? Given the way maIes have treated women, do you really think maIes give a fuck about women being happy? Do you really think that if maIes didnt know how single childfree women felt before & when they find out how happy single childfree women are they'd be pleased about it? Or that they'd care?
For every single childfree woman is a maIe without a rape maid, a maIe without someone to pummel their legacy through, etc yk how it goes. MaIes are already feeling the effects of our freedom & they're starting to retaliate. In south korea female only parking spaces were replaced with family spaces, in the USA there's project2025 & how they want to coerce women back into the nuclear family unit, in the UK many sexual offenders are being released from prisons due to "overcrowding".
Back to my point on indifference, part of that is realising that all of this shit goes beyond witty one liners on the internet. MaIes are fully aware of everything they do and how they benefit from it. To the women who brag to maIes about 4B et al, what is the end goal here? Is it truly decentering maIes as claimed or is it some type of strategy to spook maIes into being good boys? Because I've seen women try to be threatening with it like "maIes need to get their act together or we they wont be chosen/we'll 4B!" and this is still maIe centric in a way. Sounds harsh but many womens tiktoks, tweets, of this nature tend to have maIe partners or are still looking anyways so it only makes things harder for those actually serious about this. I feel like many women believe at some point maIes would grovel back to them & 'apologise' for their actions and start being better like no; maIes have intentionally done everything through force & violence including wanting a partner & children. MaIes arent going to change nor will ever change on their own. MaIes dont just want parters or children, they want this at the expense of womens lives; our goals, our dreams, and our humanity so they sure as shit dont care about our happiness.
There is thing as centering maIes even in a negative way, I saw it described as "chaotic misandrist" on the pinkpill site. Many women talk about how they want nothing to do with maIes but then make it their entire personality. Many women on tiktok are using 4B as some titillating leverage over maIes or as some divine femininity woo woo femme fatale shit. All of that still centers maIes. What needs to be realised is that it's not all about maIes. I dont solely do this as a "fuck you" to maIes, will it be? Yes. But that is not my primary reason for not dating or reproducing. Dont make this a thing where you solely want to get back at maIes. MaIes dont negotiate so attempting to barter is a waste of time and tiptoes on maIe apologism because even if maIes apologised for all the things they've done I would still not forgive them. I would still want the worst for them. Ik in that situation most women would forgive them without a second thought.
Women saying "act right or else 4B" are saying this because they still want to make it work with maIes. If there's negotiation it means a connection still wants to be formed which misses the entire fucking point. It aint about maIes it's about yourself and womankind. This is why it's hard for me to trust other women because it wont take much for them to cave as has been throughout history. I dont care what moids think about all this, as I said my primary concern regarding maIes is the threat they pose. I dont care whether they'd ever change. Anyone serious about this wouldn't be dangling the prospects of not partnering with them in maIes faces especially bc part of what leads to this is realising that maIes are dangerous & there's no reforming them. Dangling this in their face is poking the bear and maIes have no limits as to how low they'll stoop to get what they want. They'd kill themselves to prove a point.
So for the love of goddess, stop bragging to maIes about this. Doesnt matter if they say you'll be a miserable cat lady like bet. Deep down we all know they need us more than we need them. This isn't to say to hide & be ashamed of it, but it wont do women favours exposing our play to our predators.
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EASY TO LOVE | chapter nine !
The whole time in class you couldn’t concentrate, your head hurting just from the stress. Why would Minji even want Jungwon to know what happened to you? Okay yes sure, you did act like a bitch towards her but you do that with everyone!
Your keep moving your leg nervously, waiting for the class to end so that you can finally say a couple of words to that witch. Its honestly fucking with your head, this whole thing was long gone, why bring it up now? You take a deep breath, not really wanting to panic in a class full of people who know you as this unbeatable being.
The class finally ends, you pick your things up and exit without saying a thing to either Moka or Wonyoung, which both look quite concerned for you. Your heels somehow make you walk even faster, the anger and anxiety in you just want this to be over quickly.
You finally reach the class Jungwon told you about and, without even knocking, you get in. There’s a few people in the room, which all turn to look at you, you run a hand through your hair, your heels clacking even more on the wooden floor. “I need to talk to her. Get out.”
You say to the couple more people next to her, the scoff, but still leave the room, now its only you and the girl in here. She’s a bit taller than you, but you dont let that intimidate you. “Why’s that? I thought you didnt talk with people with a bag two seasons behind.”
You click your tongue, finding her sassiness quite annoying. You take another step towards her. “When did i say you could talk?” you ask, voice cold, you’ve never looked at someone with so much hatred in your eyes. well, except maybe last year.
She stays silent, so you keep talking, taking another step towards her. “Listen. I don’t care what that little head of yours is thinking, but whatever it is, if you let out that secret you’re dead, Minji.” “Oh so now you’re threatening me?” She lets out a sarcastic laugh, pushing you slightly away from her.
“Yes, yes i am threatening you. Do you want your dad to keep his job? Then you better keep your pretty mouth shut.” She pushes you once more, not wanting to be so close to you. “You wouldn’t dare.” “Oh, you’d be surprised.” You don’t care about her pushes, taking another step towards her. She speaks once more.
“You better get away from Jungwon. I have that video y/n, you know damn well it could ruin your life.” Is she really doing this because of a damb boy? This is the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard. “Not if i ruin yours first.” And thats it, she pushes you once more, and at the same time the door of the classroom opens, Jungwon behind it.
You could honestly get your balance back in no time, but you decide to fall instead. A whine getting out of your mouth as you massage your ankle, as if you hurt it, when you obviously didnt. “Y/n? You okay?” Jungwon rushes to your side, getting on his knees next to you, giving a glance to Minji.
“What the heck, Minji? I really thought you were better than this.” You watch the scene with fake tears in your eyes, you hand still holding your ankle meanwhile Jungwon puts his arm around your shoulders. “Won, I-“ “Just get out.” “You’re really believing her?” “I’m believing my own eyes, Minji! Now get out!” And so she does, slamming the door closed.
“Are you hurt?” Jungwon asks, looking at you with so much more sweetness in his eyes than just a few seconds ago. “I think my ankle took a bad turn.” He sighs and starts taking off your heels gently. You made up this whole situation, but to be fair he’s being so sweet it actually just made your heart beat faster for a single second.
“Why do you even wear these to school? You might actually break you ankle one of these days.” He says, taking them completely off before picking you up, you bite your inner cheek, fuck this is too sweet of him. “Let’s go to the nursery, mh?” “Yeah… lets do that.”
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TAGLIST @unhakki @firstclassjaylee @en-verse @mxxninthesky @seunghancore @heeseungmyman @jiamini @yoonzns @wonswondrland @50-husbands @leaderwonim @aloloveswonie @f3rraribabez @jwonistic @ribbioniki @kyanmeai @ilovejungwonandhaechan @nat123c @yjwsgf @gyuvision @realrintaro @glxzillx
#enha#enha fluff#enha imagines#enha scenarios#enha x reader#enhypen#enhypen smau#jungwon#jungwon smau#enhypen x reader#enhypen x you#enhypen smut#jungwon x you#jungwon imagines#jungwon x reader#jungwon smut#jungwon scenarios#yang jungwon
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Hiii I’m new to your blog and omggg I’m in love 🥰
You said to request but I have too many ideas 😭
Yandere Zuko somehow getting the reader to fall for him, but he doesn’t believe her until she risks her life to protect him?
Orrr like a dark yandere aang???? Goes into the avatar state over trying to get her back?
Or honestly anything your write 🥹🤧 I’m a sucker for your stuff
ahhh you're so sweet! don't worry I love all your ideas! tysm for liking my blog <3 i decided just to do headcanons for this hope you dont mind
yandere zuko getting the reader to fall for him! tw/cw: yandere behavior, protectiveness, insecurity a/n: he's honestly a cutie patootie i cant lie
he's awkward... but determined!
his 'yandere-ness' is very toned down while he is pining over you and won't actually show until he is in a relationship with you.. at least not to your face!
now when it comes to making you fall for him, he is at a loss
not that you don't like him but he always seems to mess up when he's around you
like accidentally making your tea too hot and burning you because he was just so nervous speaking with you
or when you finally have a conversation with him and gives the same enthusiasm as "that's rough buddy"
he does care! just, doesn't know how to show it
so he seeks guidance from others..
sokka's advice tells him to flirt with you and show off his strength
he does try but he ends up accidently lighting something or someone on fire
uncle iroh tells him to make a romantic gesture, plan a date and drink tea
this plan actually works in the first bit until he realizes he is not very good at conversation and from the mishaps whenever he serves you tea- he decide this is a no-go
toph says to buy you things or whatever girls like but you never accept his gifts!
aang says to just be nice to you but he has a fucking panic attack every time you smile at him
his last resort is katara who begrudgingly tells him to be himself and just tell you how he feels
and he does
you accept his confession much to his(and everyones surprise)
but he doesn't believe that you actually like him? i mean, everyone in his life besides his uncle hates him or used to. what if this is just a ploy and you're secretly making fun of him behind his back?
because of his insecurities, he slowly distances himself away from you. he finally got what he wanted but it doesn't feel real, just yet.
that is, until one day, azula comes back and is looking to hurt.
fights happen but azula gets the better of zuko.
she's right about to give him another burn to the face until you step in.
whether you're a bender or not, you risk your life to save zuko.
zuko is amazed and almost in awe
someone really cared enough to save his life and out of all people, it's you!
he doesn't know why he never saw it before but you really do love him!
and he's going to make sure that you never forget that he loves you back.
after defeating azula, you both escape very injured but zuko isn't worried about his wounds, only you.
you tell him that you're fine and that it was worth it to save zuko
but seeing you hurt... it triggers something in zuko, a rage that makes even his skin hot to the touch.
he promises that you'll never get hurt in his care, ever again.
#yandere#yandere headcanons#yandere x reader#avatar the last airbender#yandere atla#soft yandere#yandere avatar the last airbender#yandere zuko
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of course trump fucking won. this entire country is fucked and always has been. i went to his instagram to see if him or harris have posted anything and im absolutely fucking disgusted. ive never seen anything more hypocritically racist, sexist, homophobic, and literally discriminating against everything besides white heteronormative christians. but unfortunately there are just as many disgusting people in the world who see themselves in him and are going to vote for him. and they did vote for him. look where that got us. and of course he won because those people voted for him, those people who want to take away human rights. why would a woman win in a country that's sexist?? why would someone of color win in a country that's racist?? and why especially would a black woman who actually cares about people win in a country full of racist, sexist assholes?? ive literally never felt more hopeless than right now. we survived the last times he was president, but his plans for this time are far worse.
if you voted for trump, you voted for a man who only cares about himself. he doesnt give two shits about anyone, republican or not. you elected a homophobe into office. oh, great, you're also homophobic? then think about this. you elected a racist into office. you elected an ableist into office. YOU ELECTED A RAPIST INTO OFFICE. if you dont see the problem with that, there is something seriously wrong with you. if you voted for trump, there is something seriously wrong with you. as a teenage girl who is going to graduate before the next election, youre giving me this absolutely disguisting horrible piece of shit that dares to call himself a human being to deal with. i am genuinly preparing myself to leave the country after i graduate. it was a joke at first, but its nowhere near funny now. if i could leave right now, at this exact moment, i would. i am actually crying right now because i know that there are other people, people who are my friends, who are far more affected by this than i am. you had your vote, and you chose use it to ruin the lives of everyone.
if you voted for trump, have fun telling your daughter, your sister, your girlfriend, your best friend, your niece, your cousin, your mother, everyone, that you voted to take away their bodily freedoms. have fun at the hospital as your ten year old daughter gives birth to her rapist's baby, potentially dying doing so, because you voted away her abortion rights. have fun receiving a text from your nephew telling you that he is hiding from an active shooter because you voted for a vice president who stands behind glass while preaching that school shootings are "a fact of life." have fun watching your best friend, who you didn't even know was transgender because no, you can't "always tell," get fired because you voted away their job security. have fun watching the world around you fall apart because you voted for a dictator, not a president.
send me more hate anon i dont give a fuck. words cannot express how upset i am right now. with everyone. if you voted for a third party or even didn't vote at all, you're just as much at fault. any vote not for harris was a vote for trump. and now trump has the votes. now trump is the president.
if you voted for trump, i would just like to say thank you. from the bottom of my heart, thank you for ruining my life.
#sorry im really mad right now#im gonna go to sleep#maybe when i wake up this will all be a dream#us election#us politics#kamala harris#donald trump#election 2024#2024 presidential election#us elections
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this gonna be a bitchy post lacking in nuance but who cares. im annoyed.
child predators and abusers will use literally whatever is most effective to groom someone, that's kind of the whole fuckin point. pointing out that they can use certain media to groom kids is like pointing out that you can drink liquids. like yea you sure can. you can groom a kid through their interest in sesame street. you can groom a kid with adventure time. you can twist even the most harmless story book with a Nice Upstanding Moral at the end into whatever you want.
when i was in high school I basically fell in love with any teacher that gave me food cuz i was fucking starving and that's a way more effective way to gain my trust than like, idk, sketchy fandom porn. (which i also loved as a kid/teen but I never really talked to people online or in person about it cuz i didnt wanna get adults in trouble!) and if someone online was weird to me back then i just ghosted them cuz i didn't have to exist in meat space with them if they made me uncomfortable.
anyway back to my point: should we ban granola bars cuz they were a way to fast-track the trust of food insecure kids? the way some of y'all talk about abuse, and grooming in specific is so frustrating, like, what are you fuckin talking about. grooming is a series of actions a person chooses to take to get what they want, it's manipulation, what they use to groom people with is entirely situational and moreover irrelevant.
should we all just sit in 5 x 5 cubes and paint neutral faces on a canvas till we die or should we try to have systems in place to prevent adults from gaining so much control over kids just by being kind of nice to them. and that's not even getting into how censorship literally never works the way you might want it to. it's impossible to create censorship that isn't inherently bigoted and useless because the only people with the power to properly censor are the people with the most power in general. and they do not like the rest of us. and they are also often on the side of abusers, if not abusers themselves!
yall will gives thousands of notes to posts that basically say they want the haze code back cuz you're too dumb and reactionary to think about fucking anything other than "child abuse bad so i guess i agree." then go patting yourselves on the back without having helped a single child.
yall love to feel vindicated more than you care about victims. don't act like anything you do is for the survivors if your focus is always on retribution or censorship against the abusers. you don't care about us. you don't remember we even exist half the time. none of you have looked into what actually helps us, none of you internalize our complicated feelings, none of you are willing to ease up on your christian ideas of sex and sexuality unless we explain our entire traumatic backstories to you. and then you say we're broken and need help, as if what we don't really need is for you to back us up or leave us the fuck alone.
none of you care. you just wanna find acceptable targets for your anger so you can feel good about destroying the Bad Person. dont piss me off
#nnstuff#rambling#csa tw#I KNOW IVE MADE THIS POST LIKE 5 TIMES I KNOW I REMAKE IT EVERY FEW MONTHS IM SORRRY#I JUST. i hate it....
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