#you might not push me saying it directly or even intending it but this kinda feels like theres an underlying
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enden-k · 1 year ago
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Discussion was a few days ago (I'm late to the party), but can verify: Zhongchi in Youn's style is highest quality! The most beautiful of this entire website, definitely worth digging down to it and indulging in it (shame that only limited amount of it now, but everybody better respect Youn's choice or you bouta catch these hands!)
Youn's style is prettiest style, full vibes, very feeling, best content <3 <3
i wouldnt say its highest quality or the most beautiful. thank you for thinking so tho, and that you like those
if no one minds can we just move on with this topic......ppl constantly bringing up zc and how they like this stuff and praise it and miss it or anything kinda feels like im disappointing with the things i currently draw and that make me happy and bring me life (which is silly bc i only draw what i like and want and not what others want or expect me to do so i shouldnt think about this disappointment thing but uknow)
if anyone misses zc, i rlly suggest looking for zc artist to follow and not me bc i def dont want to draw them anytime soon
ever since i draw hkvthm i feel joy in drawing again and actually like how my art turns out; im flooded with too many ideas even and also love using colors (which stressed me out before) even my friends pointed out the change in my hkvthm doodles, that you can see and feel how much i love and enjoy what i do
before that i had too may art blocks and no motivation. just thinking about zc makes me feel the mood i was in at the end of it. endlessly tired and no motivation or energy. constantly forcing myself to draw smth, anything. thats not how you should do art. thats why i dont want to draw them anymore and there wont be any zc of me in the next time.
saying this directly so ppl will understand, is not directed at you. its in general.
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antimony-medusa · 5 months ago
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Okay so.
Look. At this point I am old and I am tired and I am pretty firmly coming down on write what you want just archive lock it or something and tag it please. If I am hitting tropes or trends or ships that don't do it for me, I can simply click away and my day is not ruined. Cancellation is not on my radar at all. Okay. So. With that out of the way.
Look. Sometimes, when you are pushing the boundary of platonic possessive and platonic kink-adjacent stuff, if you lead special emphasis on the fact that everybody involved is related, it doesn't necessarily make it magically more platonic. It just gives it extra vibes. Specifically you are like STRONGLY invoking incest as a kink right now, my guys. This is getting dire. Like I'm sorry but if someone is lying down half asleep listening to the "sounds of kissing" and one of the people doing the kissing keeps saying how good of a brother the other person is, like, you can smack a "platonic kissing" tag on that one all you like, and I can even follow you on a faith journey and believe that you intended that to be platonic, but uh, the first reading of that one is distinctly like— man, please. I'm dying here.
In the same way that if you have an interaction— say, you did a cuddle-potion fic, and you say to yourself "man these guys are getting handsy, if they're both dating age this would look kinda sketchy'' so your solve is to make one of them twelve and then suddenly you have made your slightly off-colour fic take on a whole new tone— in the same way that making one of the characters underage isn't a magic button you can press to make something fully platonic no matter what, making your characters related isn't going to make it magically platonic if they are say, all in the same bed and one of the characters is feeling the mattress move as his brother and father cuddle each other and say how much they love each other.
This isn't even an isolated incident. Please.
If you are looking at your interaction and going "man this kinda looks like ship" and you want to make sure people don't think it's ship, aging down the character isn't a magic solve, and making them related isn't a magic solve, not when the rest of the tropes you are pulling from are pulled directly from romance and porn. You just invoked a DIFFERENT kink on top of the first one you had. Like you might not know that that's where the tropes come from but guys. Please. The solve for this scene is either changing it substantially until it no longer looks like ship, accepting that it looks off but you don't mean it that way and go "if people misunderstand this it's not my problem" or maybe considering the option that what you want to write is ship. I keep hitting this stuff and going "are you SERIOUS" and then it gets worse.
Or maybe, idk, you're specifically into all the people being related like that. You do you, the contents of your Ao3 account is not hurting anyone. But in that case please for the love of GOD can you please consider tagging it?
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tommyssupercoolblog · 9 months ago
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IM SORRY THIS ISNT MEANT TO BE AGGRESSIVE i have not been on this part of the internet in a long time so things might have changed but.... last i heard the proship label encompassed things (in fiction) like inc/st, abusive relationships, p/do shit, etc... is that still correct? idk if thats what you were talking about in your tags because i do not know Anything about minecraft youtubers but usually when people put proship in their dni theyre denouncing that stuff. just wanted to clarify im understanding your complaints, no harm intended!
No problem!! it can be confusing lol, nothing wrong with being unsure. All-in-all, you're kinda close with that idea, but still not on target. explanations of proship vs anti, the d/mp fandom's take on it, and my thoughts on it all under the cut:
So proship as a philosophy is about wether or not things like that (in fiction) translate to real life, which is why it's connected to censorship like i mentioned in the post- if you believe that watching or reading something problematic will make more problematic things happen, that someone reading a book with a child/adult relationship makes them more likely to (or is on it's own already the same as) a person pursuing that in real life, that makes you an anti; and it also gives you a big reason to push for works like that being taken down or removed, and for people who make or read that stuff to be put in real prisons or face other real life consequences for fictional acts- because the idea is that, to an anti, these things bleed into each other.
being proship isn't equivalent to enjoying dark fiction like that, but it IS equivalent to believing that, similar to fictional violence, fictional crimes or acts of any kind can be created and consumed by artists and audiences without people actually condoning it IRL. a proshipper would say that if someone plays a video game where they murder someone, and then does it IRL, thats on the PERSON, not the media- and they hold the same position for fictional portrayals of incest, abusive relationships, and pedophilic relationships. the name comes from being pro- as in for- ships, and other content, as a whole; without it having to meet IRL moral criteria.
dark fiction freaks me out personally; the biggest ick (and actually a trigger for me) being incest; It bothers me and i stay away from it. but I don't think that people who read or make it are going to condone it IRL directly because of that media, and I believe that if they WERE to do something bad like abusing someone, it'd be an unrelated/seperate issue: an independent choice that only they are responsible for, not anything they made or watched or read.
That makes me fall under proship, even though I don't like any problematic (as in incest, abuse, adult/minor) ships. Personally, I literally follow people who like things that bother me in that way: i just block the tags so when they post something i really don't wanna see, tumblr tells me, hey, this post has this thing in it so we've spoilered it. If someone likes shipping their silly little blorbos and those silly little blorbos are kinda fucked up in a way that makes their brain go brrr, that's totally chill with me as long as they aren't hurting anyone- which, because i don't think fiction equates to reality, I believe they aren't when they're playing with their blorbos. (and since i'm pro-rpf, it's worth mentioning i feel the same about that. rpf is still FICTION, at the end of the day. you don't actually expect those people to do the things you write or draw. it's still removed from reality. that's personal preference though, many proshippers would disagree.)
So basically proship or Anti is a label that represents your philosophy on how human thoughts and behavior link to fiction. anti means you believe that consuming something fictional is equivalent to doing it in real life, or at least will make you do it IRL later, while proship means you believe that consuming something fictional is unrelated to doing it IRL, and you can enjoy something fictionally without actually enjoying it or condoning it when it's real people.
you will, of course, see more people who enjoy dark fiction under proship, and that's because they themselves consume it- so of course they're going to say it's not the same as doing it IRL. You will also, of course, see more people who don't like dark fiction at all under anti, because when you're disgusted by something like that then that reaction can be taken as "evidence" that it's morally bad. (personally, disgust-based morality doesn't hold up as a concept for me- it's a big reason why bigots believe the things they do, so using the same logic path makes me uncomfortable, but it is still common for people to use it as a way to measure wether something is okay or not.)
so, the part about silly block game.
there's lots of censoring in this part to avoid harassment, so bear with me.
In the early days of the d/mp, people decided that creating romantic content around the b-nchtr-o (Tmmy, tvbb0, and rnb00, who were all around 16 at the time) was inherently problematic. I'm not sure why, exactly, but the idea became that a fan crushing on one of them (at the exact same age!!!) or shipping them with each other, even as characters, was equivalent to being a real life child predator. again, even if the person doing it was ALSO a minor.
because it was seen as inherently problematic, behaviors like those were lumped in with other things problematic- shipping characters on the smp who had fought or killed each other, shipping characters who were related or were minor/adult, etc. there was no distinction; i was there!! it was all problematic, and all of it was seen as evidence that you were a real life predator of some kind regardless of age or disclaimers put under your content.
the label that developed for this group of "problematic content" enjoyers within the fandom became "poppytwt" or "ppytwt". (twt being there because it was mainly localized around twitter). as i explained above, because it could be because of dark fiction OR be//htr/o content, poppytwt content and ships doesn't even require it being dark fiction necessarily, nor does it require it being b//chtr/o; just one or the other, although usually the assumption is that it's both, since that combines the two reasons for being under that label. some people also call any proshippers in the fandom poppy even if they don't engage in anything problematic in-fandom, but that's generally the antis and not people themselves. if someone self describes as poppy, it's for the two main reasons above.
Additionally, the d/mp fandom has this concept of "maintagging". what this means is that if you make problematic content, you are NOT ALLOWED to tag it under the fandoms or characters it's about, because people don't want to see it in their results. ao3 has a tag filtering feature for this exact purpose, but people generally disregaurd that; you're still not supposed to tag it on the "main" tags, and doing so is seen almost like "asking for" harassment, like how some people talk about wearing crop tops alone at night.
Tntd/o managed to cross over, actually, from poppy to main/normalized in the fandom as the creators leaned into it with their characters. but for awhile even that was considered poppy.
different members of ppytwt have different opinions on RPF, but RPF was also considered poppy on it's own sometimes depending on who you were talking to and how militant they were on what got a pass and what didn't.
as be/chtr/o aged....it didn't stop?? all of them hit 18, but still, to this day, you can be cancelled for shipping them with each other or ANYONE else. it's why i'm so damn scared of the d/mp fandom, if i tagged a fic about my source with his character tag, with ANYTHING other than platonic relationships for him/me, I run the risk of being sent threats or doxxed- don't get me wrong, many antis keep to themselves, but there are also those who try to play vigilante- remember, if something fictional is equivalent to IRL, then attacking someone for enjoying a "bad" fictional thing becomes a charitable, heroic act; so sometimes antis might pursue proshippers with the goal of keeping people "safe". Many people in related fandoms or under the same creators also adopted the same ideals handed down from the d/mp fandom, so i'm wary of people who just watch my source too, or of people who like the q/mp.
people joke about the old fandom going crazy if they say tvbb0 and tmmy today, and that's because they would. they'd be furious at tmmy for doing this bit and putting himself in danger, they'd be cancelling anyone who ran with the bit in chat or had a photo of them hugging or kissing like in the music video as a profile picture, it'd be a whole mess. even today though it's still...scary.
((paused there to take a strawberry milk break, im back now))
the somewhat exception to this rule is Rnb00- people literally thirst for them and make nsfw comments openly, so while im not sure about the shipping aspect, i do know simping is widely okay- you couldn't even say you wanted to kiss them before, but now people are saying wayyy more than that...
inversely, i feel like my source has it the worst, because people won't even talk about him- or anything related to him- as an adult. it's always child this and child that, "who let him drink" and "get the alcohol away from the baby!", and of couse "don't ship him or his character with anyone that makes you a pedophile!!!" while the grown ass man they're talking about outright says he's alright with sfw fanfiction in a video where he reacts to someone's x-reader and then makes flirty nsfw jokes with every other adult man in the vicinity. every fanfic is platonic and almost all of them both irl and in game write him as sixteen. they take place in the past or, more commonly, they just straight up age him down. hell, sometimes they even age him down to like eight. even in fics where he IS an adult, he gets called a child or a teenager but never an adult.
poppytwt, like the stigma against writing for the creators or their characters, lives on. and even outside of benchtrio, again, ships between other characters that are problematic are poppytwt, so that also is still clinging on for dear life in some corners of the web. most poppytwt posts that are tagged as such usually include b//chtr/o, but not all of them; and it's worth noting many creators avoid tagging at all even if it's just the poppytwt tag, because they don't want to get swarmed.
because I ship myself with my husband of course, and also make fictional content with our sources as an extension of that (think dungeons and dragons but the character is just you...or, actually, SMPs are a great example of this since the appearance/name is generally the same, so think like an SMP!!!!!) I am poppytwt. I will always be poppytwt to most people who don't like poppytwt. and I have friends who are poppytwt and I like art made by people under poppytwt. I don't need to ship incest to be a part of that, i just need to not think the people who do aren't doing anything harmful when they ship that, and to write/draw....well, anything about septicinnit, which i do all the time.
if someone has poppytwt dni in their bio, i can't interact. if someone has proship dni in their bio, i can't interact. it doesn't matter if what they really mean is "people who like abusive ships because that triggers me", I still can't interact.
Because i think we SHOULD be tagging our content exactly so that we can filter it and find what we personally enjoy (and avoid what we dont), the concept of a DNI is technically something i'm kinda for- it is a way of monitoring and controlling your experience- but it also can be used as an excuse to harass people who forgot to read it, and i have no way of knowing if that's the case in advance.
ADITTIONALLY, because I know and care about people who consume dark fiction, I also don't want to be around people who think that makes them a bad person, regaurdless of wether or not they think i can stay. and "proship dni" is about proship, that fiction isn't reality philosophy- they are saying right out of the gate that they think it DOES make them a bad person. and I don't agree with that. it frustrates me and it makes me upset. those DNIs are based in a place of disgust and hatred for the people I care about, because of content that isn't real, and i'm never going to feel super okay with that...
there's people who don't understand what it means and use it anyway when it's really just about the content; but again, how am i supposed to know which is which?? ESPECIALLY on twitter, the anti philosophy is extremely popular and relevant and yes, trendy. people believe it, HARD, and so i can't assume they don't when they say they do. I've met real flesh and blood people in person who think that way, so if you are using these words, i'm assuming you know what they mean- that way I don't run the risk of making an actual anti upset and violating their boundaries.
you don't have to agree with me on this- if you're anti, then that's your worldview and i'm not going to change that. but that's what those words mean, the history of the block game side of things, and how they're correlated to censorship.
To Summarize:
Anti : Fiction Equals Reality so Fictional Crimes are Real Crimes (ergo we should censor them to stop the crimes)
Proship: Fiction does NOT Equal Reality so Fictional Crimes are Harmless (on their own)
Anti-Anti: Not sure if Fictional Crimes are Harmless, but Don't Like that Antis think Proshippers are The Exact Same Level as IRL Criminals
Poppytwt/ppytwt: Problematic silly block game stuff, OR things that have to do with these three specific block people being hot/dating someone. Sometimes both.
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ereborne · 1 year ago
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Snippet from 'lay-on-the-floor-and-scream dot excel' please ❀❀❀
As you might have guessed from the title, this is my 'good data management solves the Clone Wars' AU! Work had me pretty agitated when I put it together, so it's more canon-divergent than originally intended, but hopefully it still holds up.
I started off thinking that the clones, coming from Kamino, would be pretty used to keeping extensive documentation on themselves/each other.  Multiple sets of books, even—the sanitized ones they show the longnecks, the informal tracking of things nobody else cares about, the multiply-encrypted ones with the honest data about how their siblings are doing—as automated and redundant as possible, and while yeah it would be difficult to maintain during wartime, they are 1) the best-trained military minds and logisticians in existence and 2) absolutely not going to pay less attention to their siblings when they’re in more danger. 
For this fic also I focused in on a worldbuilding thing that I actually thought was true a million years ago before I’d ever gotten into any Star Wars nonsense, which is that Lightside users are a sort of filtering system for the Force.  That the Dark was an agent or consequence of some sort of metaphysical entropy—the constant descriptions of it as cold and oppressive really reinforced that one for me—and Force-sensitives would dedicate themselves to opposing it on behalf of the universe.  So they’d be agents and sources of the Light, not only directly combating Darksiders (and more prosaically evil people) but also through meditation (and to some degree intrinsic aura) functioning as something like metaphysical space-heaters.  I was thinking of them kinda through a D&D lens, like galactic paladin-monks.  It made sense to me. 
Under this system, then, not only would things feel cold and depressing around a Sith, but the world would be warmer and more comforting around a Jedi.  To, say, a statistically significant degree.  You see where I’m going with thisïżœïżœwhat if there was a sweet little chart that proved, mathematically and objectively, that puppy piles around the Jedi general improve the quality of life/life expectancy of everyone involved? 
Such a chart could also indicate a general getting closer to a Fall (Krell more cleanly than Anakin, since Anakin’s baseline will be skewed after the Tusken massacre, and conflated by Obi-Wan and Ahsoka’s recurring presences) or various other ongoing issues in a battalion (Corrie Guard, my beloveds) but we have to start by convincing our ascetic galactic paladin-monks of the efficacy of wartime cuddles. 
Cody hums faintly, and still does not continue.  Obi-Wan has years of practice and does not need the Force to tell him to be patient, that if he pushes Cody now he might miss his chance to hear something important.  The Force tells him anyway.  “General.”  Cody begins again.  “You know the kark you make up so you don’t have to directly answer a direct question?”  Obi-Wan narrows his eyes.  This conversation could be about many things.  The Force tells him yes.  It is unhelpful.  It seems he takes too long to answer, and Cody continues on, delivering further defamatory accusations in his polite semi-formal voice.  “As when you refuse mandatory post-mission checkups, and Helix hunts you down and asks if whatever put the holes in your robes put any matching holes in you, and instead of telling him what he certainly knows, you spin a charming tale about some other poor sap who possibly got shot but is probably fine regardless, no need for any medics who may or may not exist to get involved?” The Force says yes.  Obi-Wan does not roll his eyes, because he is a master of the jedi order and also of himself.  “I’m familiar with the rhetorical construction of a hypothetical situation, yes.”  He replies primly.  “Good.  I’d like to discuss a situation with you, sir, with the understanding that everything I describe is purely hypothetical.”
(also as you can see this is a very fun Cody for me to write, because he and all the rest of the 212th have gone their entire wartime experience with Obi-Wan layering peace/comfort/reassurance over them like a mantle, so he’s a lot more comfortable speaking his mind and I get to lean into my favorite codywan bitch4bitch relationship dynamic from the jump)
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humanitys-strongest-bamf · 1 year ago
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listen i'm really sorry that you are being targeted for your weight. you are right! bmi is bm-bullshit. in the friendliest way, though, your last post is giving racist. "very chinese"? i'm not sure what you mean, or if you are actually chinese and feel you have the right to say that. if that's the case, i can sort of understand.
just wanted to kindly let you know that the way it appeared to me... it didn't read great. i doubt you intended it to sound that way, which is why i thought i should let you know how it came across.
Oh nooo I’m so sorry, I should have clarified!!! Yes I am Chinese lol, I’ll prob delete just so others don’t get the same vibe because I’m too autistic to tell what communities I should and should not make these comments to lakdkskfkskfj
tldr; I am Chinese with parents and in-laws from mainland China that I challenge on these topics, considering ethnocentricity and how social justice can be intricate in that context, husband and I follow content creators (x and x) that embrace our stereotypes through comedy, I’m a dumbass and didn’t realize that it wouldn’t translate well onto a text-only blog where my face and background is not apparent, this is actually a very micro aggressive ask and triggered me a lot so i ranted at the end and you can read at your own risk
To explain, this is a personal gripe that my husband and I have a lot with traditional Asian cultures in that sizeism isn’t really recognized and we challenge both my parents and his parents on those worldviews to limited degrees of success. Both his parents and my parents are from mainland China and while my parents have been in the US for a while, his haven’t (he’s an international student), although they are much more willing to listen to me when I challenge them
On the other hand there’s the whole thing about not forcing Western views onto non-Western cultures, which is why this is a delicate balance to walk and I rarely bring it up to them directly because I don’t wanna seem like I’m shitting on them too much, but I’ve been trying to push it a bit more recently because he’s struggling with a lot of body dysphoria and I’m trying to nip it in the bud
Anyway, I’ll prob delete the post and I’m so sorry it came off that way!!! My husband and I and our lil Chinese community joke a lot about our own stereotypes a lot (see Steven He and Uncle Roger for more well-known examples), and I completely forgot that it won’t seem that way to people outside of the community or on the internet where race/ethnicity isn’t as apparent. đŸ„č
EDIT: okay y’know what, I’m gonna be a bitch for a second and just lyk that approaching it in this way is incredibly rude and condescending and I can kinda get it because you didn’t know I was Chinese, but I am incredibly triggered right now so I’m gonna rant and ramble in that this message, even if it’s “nice”, is incredibly self-righteous and all of this could have been avoided had you just DM’d me or even said “yo that post might not sit well with people jlyk”
and I get it. Not everyone knows about how those type of callouts can be harmful, but to say that I’m not allowed to talk about my own community in a way that IS used as a valid form of coping just pisses me the fuck off and is triggering all the invalidation issues. I'd like to clarify that this ask itself is not what is racist and triggering but your comment as an outsider about how i "might" think i have the right to say that is very much gaslighting-type behavior because y'know what, I DO have a right and i can't really get myself to care about you understanding why i have that right. google exists. chatgpt exists. do your research.
Just like how cishet folks will never know what it’s like to be queer, or how people that aren’t BIPOC will never know what it’s like to be BIPOC, *my* experience as a obviously Chinese person in a very white society that is literally trying to exile us due to a virus that isn’t even our fault is not something that any outsider can ever truly understand. So yes, taking my voice away is furthering that oppression and I encourage you to educate yourself.
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jonesatheart · 1 year ago
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Alt. Broken
Today's piece is brought to you by partial inspiration from the fic Call me Crisis Jones which my friend told me about while I was working on my Multiverse AU idea. This scene would take place after the Caseys get swapped back, and is based around the 2007 universe.
"Hey. Mind if I join?"
Raph glanced at Casey's voice. "Yeah, sure." He nearly flinched when Casey bumped his shoulder as he sat next to him on the ledge of the roof.
"How'd you find out about them?" Casey asked, eyes scanning the horizon.
"'Bout who?" Raph's tone might have almost been convincing if it wasn't for the fact that he was staring into the middle of nowhere, eyes unfocused. And the simple fact that Casey knew better.
"You know who I'm talkin' about. You've been actively avoiding me since I got back."
"I saw he had a ring and I asked 'im about. Y'know. 'How long you'n April been married? Our Casey's been lookin' at rings, but has asked yet.' And he gave me this look and said his version of me gave it to him. They couldn't legally get married, cause y'know, mutant turtles don't legal exist, so he wore it on his right hand and I remembered I'm a dyslexic idiot."
"Ya not an idiot, Raph."
Raphael harrumped. "'S not what you said a few weeks ago."
"A few weeks ago ya got ya shell thrown in a dumpster." Casey elbowed him playfully.
Raph gave half a smile before they lapsed into silence.
"Case?"
"Raph."
He bit his lip. Hesitating a moment. "It was April you were lookin' at rings for. Right?"
Casey nodded. "Yeah."
"Good."
"Is it?"
Raph nodded. "I'm not like my brothers. I'm not...I've never even had a celebrity crush. I mean, yeah, ya my best friend and the most important person to me, but...I dunno. I think I'm just...not right. I kinda resigned myself to bein' alone a long time ago cause humans were always gonna be dangerous and, let's face it, I'm not easiest guy to be around even if we did find others like us. But that never stopped my brothers from havin' crushed on people on TV and I thought they just were choosin' to till I asked Donny about it one time. Turned out it wasn't a choice. So it is a good thing. Cause April's not broken, y'know, she can actually love you. And I can't."
"I don't think that makes you broken, Raph," Casey said softly.
"Don't," Raph snapped, more harshly than intended, and pushed himself to his feet. "There's somethin' that all my brothers got that I don't. There's whole other version of me that's got whatever the shell it is made him decide to propose to that other version of you. I can't even figure out how ya know ya wanna marry April or what that even means exactly. I'm clearly missing somethin' here, Case. How does that not make me broken?"
Without a word Casey stood and gently pulled Raph from the ledge then directly into his arms.
Raphael burried his face against Casey's chest, gripping his fulls of his shirt.
"Ya not broken just cause ya not like everyone else, Raph."
"Case-"
"No." He grabbed Raph by the face. "You are not broken. Look, I don't really get it either, okay? I wasn't someone who had a lot of crushes grown up. I don't know exactly why I'm so sure April is the one I wanna marry, I just know that she is. Love is a really big and broad concept and I don't always know how to define it or what it means. But I know that it's more than just butterflies in ya head or whatever, it's a choice too. And I chose to put you in that circle a long time ago and I don't need ya to define it the exact same way or have those weird 'make ya act like an idiot' feelings for me to know I fall into your circle too."
Raph pulled Casey's hands away. "You seem petty sure of that," he grumbled and looked away.
"I am," Casey replied, folding his arms over his chest. "Raph, if ya didn't love me you wouldn't be worried about not doing it right. And yeah, sure, maybe love feels like a strong word. Maybe it's more accurate to say if ya didn't care about me ya wouldn't be worried about this. But ya do. I might be stupid, but that sure seems like an expression of love to me. It's okay if it's not the same as ya seen it on TV, it's okay if it's hard to explain or pin down. I can tell ya love me by the choices you make about me. I don't need ya to love me like someone else. I want ya to love me like you."
"That's the sappiest thing you ever said to me, y'know that," Raph complained, his voice raspy and tight, as he tried to keep his composure.
"And I meant it." Casey caught his hand. "You and April might mean different things to me in a way I can't put into words. But the truth is I don't think I could live without either of ya. Those versions of us are totally different people, Raph. I don't think it means you love me less because you didn't propose or because you're not comfortable with that kinda relationship. It just means you love me differently."
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miekasa · 4 years ago
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six thirty
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+ pairing: armin arlert x (fem) reader
+ genres and warnings: college au, enemies to lovers
 kinda
 in a very nerdy academic rivalry kind of way, me being a comedian you’re welcome, fluff, smut/nsfw content
+ word count: 5.6k
 pls say sike
+ notes: shout out to ryn​​ for listening to me during our very many rambling sessions and also for extorting me into posting this. consider it a late birthday present for my favorite menace </2
+ side notes: no i am not a part of armin nation and i never want to be, nor do i wish speak of this again.
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Armin Arlert is the perfect student. Prompt and well prepared during lecture; smart and insightful during office hours; the apple of any teacher’s eye. Unfortunately for him, so are you.
If you asked Armin, you were a little too clever for your own good, and liked to make it very well known that you believe you’re the smartest person in any room you walk into. That may be true, but it doesn’t mean that he has to sit there and worship your superiority complex. 
If someone asked you, you’d say that Armin was a know it all, and a manipulative little piece of shit. Again, not a completely false statement, but perhaps a slightly biased character analysis.
Neither of you are wrong. It’s why you’re both the bane of each other’s existence.  
There’s a noticeable grimace on your face, chin in your palm, elbows resting atop your desk, as you turn your head to where, sure enough, Armin is seated where he always is: first row, right side, directly in front of the podium, like perfect little teacher’s pet he wants to be. He doesn’t have any books to unpack like everybody else because a shiny, blue iPad is propped up on his desk in place of all of that. He’s robably looking through his pre-written list of showboaty questions to ask during lecture. Like he’s a cut above everyone else.  
Maybe some of the other morons in this course, but not you, that’s for damn sure. You bet that if you broke his thousand dollar tablet he wouldn’t think he’s such hot shit anymore. Maybe that would knock him down a couple of pegs.
“Look at him sitting there with his stupid blue eyes, and his stupid Bieber haircut, and his stupid, shiny blonde hair, and his stupid fucking glasses. I bet they’re not even real and he just wears them to—”
“Did you just call his hair shiny?”
You snap your head to your left, “What—no, of course not. I said shoddy, he’s probably a bottle blonde. Maybe all the chemicals from the hair dye seeps into his head and warps his sense of reality.”
“I’m pretty sure you said shiny.”
“Shut up, Annie.”
She raises an eyebrow at you, “You got something against blondes? Because your track record would beg to differ.”
“Once. We kissed once, and it was truth or dare, and we were both sloshed.”
“You still chose me,” she reminds you, pulling her notebook out of her backpack.
You huff, ignoring her words and turning your head back to Armin, this time finding him twirling his stupid fucking expensive Apple Pencil between his fingers like it’s nothing. You can feel your eye begin to twitch.
Perhaps he can, too—or maybe he can just feel your eyes boring holes into him—because he turns in your direction and ceases his pen twirling the moment you make eye-contact. More students filter in, walking past your line of vision, but each time they move, you and Armin meet gazes again; neither one of you daring to look away, a palpable tension between you.
His eyes might be icy blue, but you can see the rose pink tint underneath his skin, even from the distance; a familiar blush that spreads across his nose and cheeks. You exhale with a silent laugh, breaking your eye contact before he grows completely red, just in time for Dr. Zöe to start the lecture.
Everybody thinks that Armin’s so brilliant, so smart, so untouchable. You know that his only genius is that he’s fooling everyone into thinking that he’s the kind, humble, little nerd boy who wouldn’t harm a fly, when that’s far from the truth.
Armin is mean. He’s competitive and possessive and snarky and sly. He’s the definition of a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but you’re pretty sure the only person in the world who might believe that is Eren. Though, you’ve heard some of the insults Armin throws Eren’s way, and they’re not exactly soft. Granted, that’s a factor in any friendship, and most of his jabs are coated with a layer of intellect the brunette likely doesn’t understand, but that doesn’t make Armin any less sarcastic. It just means Eren’s too dumb to know what’s going on.
Poor kid. Maybe it’s for the best.
That’s all to say that Armin is nothing but a big talker—not even; a smooth-talker, is more like it. He comes across as perfect, all good and sweet and soft, because that’s what he lets people see. Nobody else looks through to the sharp tongue and ragged edges, because they’re too busy cooing over innocent blue-eyed baby in front of them.
But you know that Armin, the one he doesn’t want other people to see: the one that’s so good, he’s bad; so sweet that he’s sick; so nice that it’s cruel. And you know just how much pressure to apply to make his façade crack.
And you intend on doing so.
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“I don’t know which formula to use—hey, are you two eye fucking again? Cut it out, I’m trying not to fail over here,” Eren exclaims, poking Armin’s shoulder with his pen.
The jab averts the blonde’s attention back to his friend, eyes wide as he blinks himself back to reality. He curses under his breath when he feels a familiar warmth creeping across his cheeks. Few things piss Armin off like the way he gets red in the face after thinking about you, or even just looking at you, for too long. Whether it’s red out of pure annoyance, or another feeling he tries to push down, it’s irritating, and above all, embarrassing.
He spares one more glance over his shoulder, to where you and Annie are sat a few tables away in the library. You’ve looked away by now, focusing back on your notes, but Armin swears he can still see that irritating smirk on your face from this angle.
He rolls his tongue along the inside of his cheek. He should be able to keep it together around you by now, but he can’t, and it bothers him. You bother him.
“We weren’t eye fucking,” he refutes, turning his back to you completely, “She’s such a little know it all sometimes, s’annoying.”
Eren raises an eyebrow. He knows that you and Armin don’t get along, but he doesn’t understand why. Armin knows almost all your friends, and you definitely know all of his—Eren would even go as far as to say that you and him are pretty close friends—so it’s not a matter of not spending time together. You’re also the two smartest people Eren knows. In theory you should have more than enough to talk about together, but every time you’re in the same room, you hardly acknowledge each other outside of surface level commentary, or glances that border on staring.
Thankfully, the bickering remains in the classroom for the most part. Eren’s seen you and Armin go at, and he’ll be the first to admit that it’s beyond intimidating. Though, a little part of him finds it oddly entertaining, and he can’t help but to be impressed. All the more reason for you two to start playing on the same team. 
Eren thinks the two of you should get to the root of the issue already. Which, if you asked him, has very little to do with your rivaled academic genius, and a lot to do with your lack of it concerning your feelings for each other.
“She’s not that bad,” Eren vouches for you, “I think you two might get along if you ever spoke outside of trying to one-up each other in class.”
“I’m not trying to one-up anybody,” Armin rolls his eyes, a nasty habit he’s picked up as of late, “And if you stopped and used your brain for a moment, then maybe you could solve the problem.”
“I did use my brain!” Eren’s lips fall into an offended pout, “But none of this makes any sense to me! I fucking hate math, you know that.”
Armin sighs, feeling sympathetic for Eren as he slumps into himself defeatedly. He knows that Eren isn’t dumb, but math in any capacity is certainly not his strong suit. He also knows that he shouldn’t give Eren all the answers, but sometimes he needs a little push to get him there. A little bit of added guidance and motivation to keep him going. It’s either that, or he has to trick Eren into doing the work himself, but clearly that method wasn’t working out today.
“You already solved for the activation energy, now you’re supposed to use the Arrhenius equation in the expanded form.”
Eren’s lips fall into a small o-shape, as his eyes scramble across his paper again. “But—how do you—”
“There’s two measurements given for temperature.”
“Oh. Oh, yeah! Okay, right, but then—”
“You have to convert it to Kelvin first or it won’t work. It’s given to you in Celsius.”
Eren furrows his eyebrows together, and then it finally clicks for him. He mutters to himself as he puts his pencil to paper to begin to work through the problem, “How do I convert—”
“Add 273.15 to it. Make sure you put the bigger one first in the equation, or else you’ll get a negative error.”
“You didn’t even do it,” Eren huffs, angrily punching numbers into his calculator, “How do you know it’s right?”
“Because I took this class already,” Armin reminds him, sparing a brief glance over his shoulder, “Isn’t that why I’m tutoring you?”
Eren coughs over his embarrassed blush, “Oh, yeah, right.”
It’s quiet between them as Eren makes a final attempt at solving the equation, carefully and proudly circling his answer when he’s finished. He looks to Armin with bright eyes, and is content when the blonde gives him a reassuring nod, confirming that his answer is correct.
“Well that was a bitch to work through,” Eren sighs, stretching his arms behind his head with a slight yawn, “Chemistry is nothing but glorified math. It’s barely a science.”
Armin shrugs, but he doesn’t disagree. He isn’t the biggest fan of chemistry, unlike somebody else he knows. “Why’d you take chem if you knew it would have so much math?”
It’s Eren’s turn to shrug, slumping back in his chair and running a hand through his hair, “I gotta take all the pre-med requirements
 just in case.”
“You wanna go to med school? Since when?”
Eren averts his eyes from his friend, a telltale sign of his bashfulness coming over him. It doesn’t happen often, but Armin knows it’s sincere when it does.
“Dunno. I’m not sure of it, just wanna keep my options open, you know?” Eren replies casually, “Doctors help make a difference and all that, and surgery looks kind of cool. Besides, if my bastard father could do it, how hard could it really be?”  
A gentle smile grows on Armin’s lips, “You can do it. If you really want to, I know you can.”  
Eren’s head snaps up, eyes wide and filled with affirmation and adoration. He relaxes his expression quickly after, but the pink hues are still present, “Thanks, Min.”
From his position he catches eye of another head of familiar blonde hair over Armin’s shoulder, and beside it, your own hair. There’s a flash of a moment when your eyes meet Eren’s, and you offer him a small wave before turning back to Annie to resume doing your homework. Eren barely gets the chance to wave back, but a dopey smile sits on his features at your kind gesture. It fades when he looks back to Armin, once again pondering the animosity between you two.
You and Armin aren’t all that different, you just need to get to know each other better. Actually, Eren thinks that you might make a good couple if you both stopped overthinking it.
“So, what’s the deal with you and (_____)?” Eren asks, bending his right knee to wrap his arm around his leg and rest his chin on top of it, “You act like she kicked your cat.”
“What?” Armin questions, flustered, “What—no, she wouldn’t touch Soup.” 
Eren quirks an eyebrow at that. “I still can’t believe you named your cat Soup.”
“It’s technically a nickname.”
“A nickname for what?”
“
For Miso Soup.”
Eren blinks. “Okay, if she didn’t mess with Soup, then what’s the issue? You scared of her or something?”
“Why would I be scared of her?” Armin asks, tone incredulous; then softer, more subdued, like a kid who doesn’t want to admit they’re wrong, “’M not scared of her.”
“You stare at her like you are—well, you look kind of angry, but also scared. Like, when you see those balloon things outside of car washes. You hate them, but you can’t look away from them—”
“I am not scared of those!”
“You are, and it’s okay,” Eren waves away his friend’s denial, “Oh, I get it—is this one of those things where she makes you nervous, so you respond with anger and sarcasm instead of thinking through your feelings?”
“You’ve been going to therapy for one month, relax.”
“Maybe you two should go to friend therapy and work this out,” Eren bites back, “It probably doesn’t help that she’s always with Annie. They both look like they would murder someone with no remorse. I admit, it is kind of scary
 but it’s kind of hot, too.”
Armin spares him an unamused glare. Eren crosses his arms in defense, “What? I’m not wrong. It’s sexy in a scary kind of way, maybe that’s why you’re always eye fucking. I don’t blame you, she’s hot. I would let her and Annie axe-murder me without regret.”
“Eren?”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up and do problem six, I don’t have all day.”
Eren huffs, but flips the page to the next problem, grumbling under his breath as he attempts the, “It’s not as sexy when you’re mean, you know.”
Armin hits him silent.
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Tuesdays are Armin’s favorite days because he only has one class. Sure, it’s three hours long, but it’s much more bearable than his usual eight-hour day.
It’s also the one class he shares with you. Which is why he’s always mentally exhausted by the end of it, but physically, he feels like he could punch a wall; all his pent up anger and frustration is channeled into his body and he’s desperate for an outlet for it. It’s a feeling he hates to love.
Annie seems to have cut class today seeing as she’s not next to you; and it’s almost as if it’s emboldened you to mess with him even more than usual.
He bites his tongue as Dr. Zöe enthusiastically uses your latest point as a segue into the final topic of the evening. He made that same point ten minutes ago. You just worded it differently—admittedly, more concisely, but somehow with a little more nuance, than when he had hesitantly proposed it—and, yeah, maybe you made it sound more convincing, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t come up with it first. If his stupid, fancy stylus didn’t cost upwards of $200 he might have snapped it in half.
You’re definitely the better conversationalist, that much he can admit. Words have never been his forte and he hates the way you can talk circles around him, and that there’s so little he can say to make you stop.
He wishes you would just shut up. In fact, he’d like to shut you up himself.
Thankfully, class ends sooner rather than later. Armin finds himself briefly talking with Dr. Zöe afterwards, most other students having taken the opportunity to leave early for the night. To nobody’s surprise, you’re not one of them, having stuck around to talk to the professor, too.
“The two of you should consider lab research this summer,” Dr. Zöe suggests ardently, walking between the two of you as you exit the lecture hall, “I could really use two students like you!”
Armin chuckles at his boisterous professor. He’s known about the research opportunities at their lab for quite some time now, and he knows that you have, too. “I don’t know that lab work is really my strong suit.”
The three of you come to stop at the hallway intersection, the professor now standing across from you and him. You give them a polite smile, “And I’m not sure that collaboration is mine.”
Armin spares a glance just in time to see you flash one of your own in his direction. Dr. Zöe’s eyes flicker between the two students rapidly, a slight squint to their eyelids.
They aren’t quite sure why their two brightest students seem to despise each other. They wish you two would just get along already, so that they don’t have to spend the summer training half-witted chemical engineering majors how to use basic lab equipment; and instead, conduct some actual research.
“Well, I hope the both of you reconsider,” they smile, “I’ll see you during office hours, I presume?”
You two nod in sync, sending the doctor off with happy smile, just long enough until you see that they’ve turned the corner further down the hall
“Had fun stealing my point earlier?” Armin questions, looking your way as you still wave mindlessly, eye-twitching at your polite façade.
“I would call it improvement,” you tell him, not bothering to turn in his direction; still and smiling waving like the professor can see or hear you, “You should stick to showing, rather than saying. You never were good with your words.”
Armin kisses his teeth together. He’ll give you what you want, if that’s how you want it.
In a fit of irritation, he grabs your moving hand by the wrist, and pulls you down the opposite hallway, not caring for your dramatic wailing behind him.
“Hey, Einstein, the exit is the other way, do you have any idea where we’re going?”
“Ever heard of observational learning? Maybe if you shut up for a second, you would figure it out,” he snaps, pulling you further.
There’s a door on the left that Armin knows is unlocked, and he’s quick to open it and pull you inside. Before you have the chance to glance around, he has you pushed up against the wall, jaw forced up and forward.
He could scoff at the small hitch in your breath at his actions, clearly a little too satisfied with being manhandled; but instead, he takes the opportunity to press your lips together. Armin quite likes the feeling of your lips on his; warm and soft and far too welcoming; a rare moment of silence.
“Someone could hear us.”
Or not so silent.
“Then be quiet,” he snarls.
Armin feels your fingers weave themselves into his hair, scraping along his undercut in sync with his lips trailing down your jaw. A groan falls from his when he feels you tug at the ends of the strands, just hard enough to force his face back to eye level with yours.
“You’re the one with the big mouth.”
“You’re so smart, huh. Always got something to say,” Armin lets out a low chuckle, deft fingers running down your sides to squeeze at your waist, “You can be really fuckin’ annoying, you know that.”
You mirror half of his ministrations, letting your right hand trail down his chest barely brushing over the very visible bulge in his jeans, before hooking your index finger under the belt loop, effectively pulling him closer to you.
The smile on your face is dirty, but you’re not laughing like he was, “Do something about it then.”
His blue eyes grow cloudy as he takes a good look at you; slowly rakes over your features, from that stupid, snarky look in your eyes, to your kiss-bruised lips, down to your chest, and back up again. Armin finds himself copying your smirk for all the wrong reasons. But it’s your own fault; you always did like to push him one step over the edge.
“Fine.”
Despite your twisted grin there’s a look in your eyes that’s eager; willing; ready for the taking. That same look you have when you talk over him in class; when you pretend to ignore him around your mutual friends; when you want him to fuck you stupid.
Armin uses his right hand to cup your jaw again, closing the distance between your mouths with a less than gentle kiss. He feels your groans reverberating through his body, waves of heat accompanying them and going straight to his erection. Your arch your back into the kiss, but he forces you backwards, left hand flat against your tummy.
Following suit, he pushes himself against your body, pressing his knee between your legs; the thin fabric of your stockings doing little to prevent your thighs from rubbing against him.
He swipes his tongue over the seam of your lips, earning a frenzied whine when glides his tongue across yours, and teasingly licks at the roof of your mouth. Your tongue is lithe against his, but somehow just as deceptive and sly as always, and Armin would be a fool to deny that he loved it.
There’s a spark flickering in his stomach when you push your center harshly against his; and it’s only ignited further when he feels you bite his bottom lip. A guttural growl escapes him, his right hand moving to your throat with practiced ease, pushing the back of your head into the wall.
He pauses for a moment, drinks in your wide eyes and desperate visage, “You are the single most frustrating person I’ve ever met in my entire life.”
And he couldn’t get enough of it if he tried. He couldn’t get enough of you.
You must see through his words, into the grainy expression of adoration in his eyes, because he can see it filtering into yours, pupils dilating with both want and care.
“Aw, baby, I love you, too,” you pout, leaning forward as best to can to peck him on the lips, “Now, shut me up and fuck me. It’s exhausting being this pretty and smart-mouthed, you know.”
Armin dips his head into your neck, squeezes against the column of your throat with warning until he hears a gasp escape from your lips. He presses gentle kisses into your skin, in stark contrast to the increasing pressure from his fingers, waiting for one last request, and then, finally—“Please.”
He smiles, loosens his grip for a moment, just long enough to hear your pretty panting, before slotting his lips against yours again. Your moans are lewd and sloppy and breathless between kisses, and it makes his dick twitch in his pants. You really are so fucking loud. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.
He uses his free hand to push your skirt up, and subsequently dip past the weak barrier of your tights and underwear. The slightest flicker of his fingers against your center has you choking out a moan, and Armin is forced to press his right thumb harder against your neck.
“Quiet,” he reminds you, “You asked nicely, so I’ll give you what you want. No need to be loud about it.”
He watches you nod with short and restricted movements, a sadistic kind of power washing over him at your eager compliance. He uses his middle finger to rub slow, careful circles around your clit; the feeling of your wet cunt against his fingers, coupled with your wanton moaning only spurs on the throbbing in his pants.
“Armin,” you whine, impatiently; but he expected that of you, “Don’t tease.”
His eyes flash to yours briefly, pressing his lips to yours again to swallow your shuddered moans. He dips his tongue into your mouth at the same time he does his middle finger into your cunt. An obscene moan echoing through the classroom, as Armin feels your body arching into his again; feels your fingers frantically flying to his hair, searching for purchase to anchor yourself on.
He pulls away in time to add another digit and watch you groan underneath him. He pushes both his fingers in to the knuckle, carefully curling them upwards to elicit the prettiest sound out of you. He has to admit, it’s probably his favorite thing to hear come out of your mouth.
He keeps a steady pace, pumping his fingers in and out of your pussy with perfect friction, teetering between letting you moan his name and choking you silent. Your hands are frantic in his hair, grasping and pulling and so, so, desperate, Armin can’t help but to finger fuck you harder.
“You want one more?” he questions, but his voice is taunting, words ghosted over your lips just out of reach for you to kiss.
He can feel your leg trembling against his, see you pupils shaking along with your shaking head. Armin stops to smile; he thought you might do that. He could probably make you cry right now if he wanted to. Maybe later.
“Want you to fuck me,” your words short and ragged, eyebrows raised when he uses his thumb to press lightly against your clit, “Armin, please.”
The blonde shakes his head, “You’re dumber than you look if you think I’m gonna fuck you in a classroom, baby, so if you want to cum now, you better tell me.”
You have the audacity to pout of all things, “You’re mean.”
Armin lets out a breathless laugh. “You like it,” he leans forward to peck you sweetly, “So, what’ll it be?”
“Fine, but I want head later, too,” you tell him, words becoming less firm when Armin teases his ring finger against your slit, “Please.”
Armin hums in compliance, leaning forward to kiss you again, this time with more tact, and he chases your whines when he finally pushes a third finger inside of you.
“Look at you,” he croons breaking your kiss and forcing your head back again, “You take it so well.”
“Ah—fuck, there, Armin—there,” you cry, wet heat squeezing around his fingers in intermittent spasms.
Armin watches your chest heave with desperate breaths, air stuttering to pass from your lips to your lungs with his hand around your neck. He can feel your walls constricting around his fingers, feel your body shaking underneath him when he increases his pace. He curls his fingers again, just right, just until he hears you sing a strained call of his name. And when he feels your nails scraping down the nape of his neck, and the slight weight of your body convulsing, Armin knows you’re done for.
He’s nice enough to fuck you through your orgasm, shallow thrusts of his fingers bringing you to and down from your high as he watches you pant for him. He presses small kisses against your throat, up, up, up, until he’s kissing you, and carefully pulling his fingers out.
He removes his hand from your neck, and slides it down your waist to offer you support. He’s not prepared for your sudden pull on his neck, forcing him into a kiss that conveys your content; he’s quick to raise his left hand, palm meeting the wall to hold himself up against your sporadic actions, chuckling lightly into your kiss. You were always so reckless and happy after an orgasm.
You kiss him like you have him wrapped your finger despite being the one pleading moments ago. You do, so he supposes it’s not unwarranted; and he welcomes your flirtatious kisses despite the annoying blush they always bring forth.
And sure enough, he can feel his face on fire when you pull away. Armin scoffs internally at himself; he really should be able to keep it together around you by now. But when you kiss him like that, you kind of make it hard to think straight.
“You’re so good when you’re not
 pretending to be good,” you hum, a blissful, hazy look on your features as you wrap your arms around his neck.
Armin shakes his head with a chortle of disbelief; leans forward to kiss you again, “’M not pretending. I am good.”
“Yeah, you’re such a good little saint that arguing with your girlfriend turns you on,” you taunt him, “It’s okay, Armin, you can admit it.”
He groans, out of shallow annoyance this time, and it makes you giggle. “Why are you acting like you’re not complicit in this?”
“Oh, no, no, no,” you refute with an exaggerated roll of your eyes, “You get turned on by hearing me talk about biochemistry. I like it when you tell me to shut up about it. We are not the same.”
“Yeah, because you look hot doing it,” he tells you, “Speaking of which, Eren called you hot today, so I kind of need you to slip a neurotoxin in his Gatorade.”
“Aw, Eren thinks I’m hot? Tell him I think he’s hot, too,” you bat your eyelashes at him, but Armin only offers you an unimpressed glare in return.
“I think he might be onto us, actually,” Armin notes, affectionately bumping his nose against yours.
“If he’s onto us, then it’s because you’re the one giving it away, not me.”
“Oh, because you could never do anything wrong, right?”
“Right,” you flash him an overconfident smile before reaching up to kiss to the tip of his nose, “See you’re so smart, baby.”
Armin shakes his head again in disbelief. You’re a handful, he can see that much.
“Come on,” he prompts, “We should go, I still have to finish my lab write up, and I know you haven’t started your paper.”
Armin tries to motion you forward, but is stopped when he feels your hand combing through his hair, and sees the genuine spark of concern in your eyes. “The one for your elective? I thought you said you were going to finish it on Monday.”
“I was,” Armin admits, “But then I didn’t.”
“You want me to help you with it?” you offer kindly, pushing his bangs back and letting your hands fall down the sides of his face, palms resting against his ears.
He nods gently, turning his head to press a kiss into your left palm, before wrapping his hand around your wrist, “I can help you outline your paper.”
You nod in return, and Armin spares one more kiss, before pulling your hand away to lace your fingers together.
Thankfully, nobody’s around to catch you exiting the classroom, or see you holding hands as you make your way out of the building and towards the bus stop. This was Armin’s favorite part of any Tuesday; the one time he could hold your hand on campus without the fear of getting caught by your friends.
He reasons that you guys should probably tell them soon, though, especially if Eren might have an idea of what’s going on. You were bound to get caught sooner rather than later. That, or Eren and Sasha would start meddling.
“If you think Eren knows, then Mikasa definitely knows,” you note, swinging your intertwined hands as you walk through the parking lot as a shortcut.
“Maybe if you actually remembered to hide Soup’s toys, there would be less evidence for her to piece together.”
“Yeah, well, maybe if you didn’t forget when your midterms are, I wouldn’t have to emergency cat sit the hour before Mikasa comes around, and there wouldn’t be any toys to hide in the first place.”
“I’m bad with dates, you know that!” Armin pouts, “I don’t say anything when you forget about ten page papers until four hours before they’re due.”
“You’re saying something right now, actually.”
“That’s not what I—you know, you’re so—”
Armin’s quiet when he feels your lips pressed against his cheekily, “Annoying. I know. You like it. You’re not very good at staying mad for very long.”
Armin’s tempted to roll his eyes yet again—he really needs to quit it, or at the very least, get your own temper under control before it’s irreversible and completely rubbed off on him—but takes the opportunity to kiss your forehead, instead.
“You’re lucky you’re cute.”
Your eyes twinkle under his affections. “And that you love me?”
He nods, “And that I love you.”
“And that you’re gonna fuck me before you make me write my paper when we get home, right?”
Armin chuckles and presses another kiss to your forehead, “We’ll see about that one.”
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Hange huffs as they make their way through the parking. They always forget their keys in their office, and always, inconveniently park half-way across the campus. In their defense, this parking lot is free, and the one closest to the Medical Sciences building is not. So, really, capitalism is the one to blame for their frequent late night car lot strolls.
They hear two familiar voices bickering just as they’re about to step into their car, and are more than surprised to see their two favorite students walking together. Walking together and holding hands. Wait—you and Armin are walking together and holding hands?
Hange blinks for a moment, drowning out the sounds of the conversation after they see you two kiss. Their jaw practically falls to the asphalt and they might not blink for a full two minutes as they process what they just saw.
Their trance is broken when it finally, finally clicks together, and Hange has to try their hardest to contain their squeals before sitting in the driver’s seat, an overly forceful slam to the car door following. They waste no time fumbling with the pockets of their lab coat to fish out their phone, and make a call to their favorite math professor.
“Levi, I told you Arlert and (_____) had to know each other outside of class! I think they might be dating! You know what this means, right? I can have them both in the same lab without worrying they might start a chemical fire, and I won’t have to hire two brick heads this summer!”
Levi has never hung up a call more quickly in his life.
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timextoxhajima · 3 years ago
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Boundary [Dana’s 700 Special]
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Track: Fever - Enhypen / TiO - Zayn / Close - Nick Jonas, Tove Lo
➣ Member: my og bias owo
➣ Genre: idol! ju x stylist! [fem] reader
➣ Warnings: swear words and if you squint, some smut
➣ Word Count: i’m like 100% sure it’ll be as long as accelerate [i was wrong it’s nowhere near but whatever]
➣ A/N: Thank you for 700 followers. You are all nothing but amazing ♡
➣ Taglist: @taesty-wander-lust​ @tbzzhoe​ @suzy-rainbow​ 
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He’s going to be the absolute death of me.
The thought is loud in your head, and you were almost sure you would’ve blurted it out had the filming studio been empty. Breaking Dawn was blasting from the speakers behind the MV director, experimenting with some strange angles that you’ve never seen any other MV director try with the group before. 
If you thought Reveal was dangerous, this might be worse.
“Okay! Let’s do that hook into the chorus first and we’ll see how that angle goes!”
“Breaking Dawn, I see-”
“Cut! Juyeon-” The director snorts while staring at the monitor from the camera. “That was great but um, we’ll need to rate the video if we release this one.”
Never mind. It is worse.
“Yah, Juyeon!”
“Ahh... seriously?”
“You already have enough screen time, why are you so greedy?!”
The members crowd around Juyeon and shove him playfully as the director films that part from the monitor, and brings his cellphone over to the group to see. You can barely hear the music from the phone, given how far you were standing from the filming area. 
The group of 11 burst into loud yells and frustrated groans, with Younghoon and Chanhee giving their iconic ‘OoO’ faces to Juyeon. The main man chuckles, embarrassed, and shakes his head while waving it off.
“I didn’t intend to make it so suggestive, sorry!”
“It’s alright, that was great, really!” The director assures him. “It’s just that we can’t release that without rating the MV, and you guys don’t really have that kind of reputation yet so, we won’t do that for you guys now. But anyways, can we get a 10 minute break and we’ll pick up where we left off?”
The boys celebrate in unison, Eric immediately rushing off for the washroom, some members going to the staff to ask for their phones, others going for the monitor to check their progress and the remaining approaching their stylists for appearance maintenance.
So, when Juyeon approaches you with that sly-mixed-with-shame smile, you can’t help but to shake your head at him. 
“Really? He asks you to go all out and you look like you want to eat the camera,” Pulling open your little kit, you set it on the table next to you. You pull out the comb and hairspray and start adjusting his hair again - all that dancing’s pushed some strands out of its rightful position.
“Aw, so you agree that I looked good enough?”
“What?” The pitch is higher than expected, but you hope your feigned annoyance camouflages the pinch of jealousy. “Please! The director said it’ll be rated!”
Juyeon laughs, standing with his feet a little more apart than natural for you to have easier access to his hair. 
“Well, you’re the one who did my hair and makeup. If it’s anybody to blame, wouldn’t it be you?” 
His words halt the sharp end of your comb in his hair, and you poke it into his scalp for good measure while puffing out your cheeks. He chuckles it off. 
“Excuse you, sir, Cre.Ker gave me a color palette and a set of reference pics. Ever since they cracked the code with you with Reveal, they just won’t stop with this genre of style on you.”
“I mean... I definitely prefer my current style over what they did to me in Boy.”
The memory cooks up a bunch of images in your head, and you fail to stop the giggle that runs off your tongue when you return the comb to the kit. 
“Aw, come on, that was cute,” Picking up a brow pencil, you fill in the tiny fade-out. “You were, what? 19? No reason for you to look as raunchy as you do now.”
“It’s a pity you only met me just before I become ‘raunchy’.”
“Why? I mean, ‘Juyeon’s not a good boy’ though. Raunchy’s closer to that than what you did pre-Reveal.”
“I meant it!” Juyeon widens his eyes and his brows shift up his forehead just as the tip of the brow pencil lifts off his skin. “I’m happy Cre.Ker’s letting us show what we want to.”
“And I’m happy for you too,” You finish up on his foundation where it’s starting to wear off. “But one day, you’re gonna cross a line and break some hearts.”
Juyeon smiles as you cap on all your equipment and close your kit. Resting one hand on your hip, you quickly give his hair one last poke before he resumes his normal standing position.
“What if I only want to break specific hearts though?”
A frown befalls your face and you forge an ugly look by crooking your lips. “What? Was that an attempt to flirt? Please stop,” Waving him off, you turn and pick up your kit, walking away on your heels as Juyeon tails you.
He’s just practising flirting on me at this point. Best friends and best friends for what? Get MY heart broken? PLEASE.
“Flirt with Kevin if you want, he’ll give you better advice,” You turn to the film area and sure enough, Kevin was busy twerking into the camera and Changmin’s just face palming himself. 
“Oi Kevin! Stahb it!” You yell across the space and Changmin points to you, turning to yell at Kevin.
“Yah, even y/n’s telling you to stop!”
Chuckling, you turn into the dressing room as another hair stylist finishes with Sangyeon in the mirror. 
“Hello sir, you look kinda tired today, are you resting well?”
“Don’t get me started. Schedule’s packed into June,” Sangyeon subtly shakes his head, but his stylist holds his cheeks and shifts his face back to face the mirror.
“Sangyeon, please face the mirror. It’s not my fault if your hair gets messed up again,” The hair stylist grins as he picks up the hairspray.
“Sorry,” Sangyeon blinks at him and purses his lips. Juyeon crashes into the two seater-sofa in the corner of the dressing room and groans tiresomely, resting his head on the top surface of the headrest. 
“Well, you should get some rest before Kingdom kicks in,” You place the kit on the dressing table and sit down in the two-seater next to Juyeon. “It’s not going to be an easy fight, y’know.”
“Right! You used to be ATEEZ’s hairstylist!” Sangyeon’s eyes widen and you can see him struggling not to turn to you directly instead of trying to find you in the strangest angle of the reflection in the mirror. 
“Yeah. Those guys are intense, and I mean intense! Six out of eight are known for performance skills and the other two... one produces 99% of their tracks and the other belts out notes even I can’t reach.”
“You sound like you were sent from KQ to intimidate us-” Sunwoo struts in and waves an annoying finger in your face.
“I’m not-” Swatting his finger away, Juyeon leans forward and pulls Sunwoo’s hand. “I’m just saying for good measure- it’s not going to be easy. Stray Kids is also going to be great competition, not to mention iKON and-”
“AhHH, we get it!” Sunwoo shushes you, swinging his hand with Juyeon’s.
“No matter the outcome, you all need to know that you guys were stellar last year. I was new then, but it was absolutely stunning to watch you guys work and put so much effort into your performances.”
“Oh my God, yeah, you could not shut up about the Danger performance,” Sangyeon cooes, letting his stylist finally finishes and shifts to pack the hair equipment. 
“I’ll bet it’s cause your best friend over here got the most screen time,” Sunwoo perks up a mischievous brow and smirks at you.
Juyeon’s eyes widen and stares at the youngest, “I didn’t get the most screen time.”
“If not you then who?” Sangyeon butts in as he stands.
“Uh... Changmin?”
Sunwoo and Sangyeon go quiet. 
“Yah, you had a good amount of screen time too!” Sangyeon turns and blurts out at Sunwoo, playfully shoving him. 
“Y’all are being loud in here,” Kevin’s head pops out from beyond the door frame, one of his stylists tagging behind him and struggling to pat down his clothes. 
“No, tell me if Sunwoo had more screentime than Changmin in Danger from last year,” Sangyeon wraps an arm around Sunwoo and slowly walks him out. 
“What? I don’t know, Changmin had the opening and the dance break...”
Sangyeon’s hairstylist follows closely, and by instinct, he shuts the door behind him, leaving you with Juyeon in the dressing room. It’s humid, from all the lights turned on in the room, and the leather seat wasn’t the most comfortable thing to sit on.
Turning to Juyeon, his eyes are gently shut, and frankly, he looked like he was about to fall asleep. The backrest of the sofa sinks when you lean back, mimicking his position.
“You have like four minutes left so don’t even think of falling asleep.”
“I’m not sleeping,” He offers a tiny smile on his lips, eyes still shut. 
“Sure, you’re not.”
“Wake me up when the director needs me.”
“You wish,” The leather under your legs squeak when you push yourself off, but he sticks out an arm at your stomach and pushes you back down. Judging by the miniscule smirk on his face, he’s just messing with you. “What do you think you’re doing? I have a job to do and you have a music video to film.”
He remains quiet. Someone shouts at Eric outside.
“You’re being fucking weird today, sir,” You lift a hand and grab his arm to move it away, but he swiftly wraps his fingers around your wrist and yanks you forward instead. 
Using your palms to keep the distance between your faces, you’re hovering above him now, breath on his upper lip. The sweat’s begun to collect in the lines of your palms, stuck to the arm rest by his side and the cushion he’s leaning on. 
Your vision immediately darts to his face upon the bold move, and he’s got that slight smile prancing on his lips when he’s thinking of a joke or something funny and doesn’t want to say it. It’s been a good year of being Juyeon’s best friend (apart from the members), so you’ve definitely grown to know how to read him by his actions.
You sigh, rolling your eyes and removing your legs from next to his thighs.
“Juyeon-”
And then he cuts you off by holding you in position with his arm around his waist, challenging your knees to hold you up - because if they buckled, you’ll land right on top of him. 
“What the Hell do you think you’re doing?” 
Knock knock
“y/n, are you done with Juyeon’s hair? Filming’s resuming!”
There’s an awkward tension between you and Juyeon now, with his eyes wide open and staring into yours, arm still around your waist. But having his nose just inches away from yours and his breath breathing down on your philtrum feels so surreal. It feels like it’s a dream that you’ve failed to pull yourself out from.
He parts his lips, then purses them, and sighs through his nose. 
“Yeah, she’s done! I’ll be out in like, two seconds!”
Your gaze finds his and you’re panicking when he’s moving again. Within two seconds, you’re flat on your back on the length of the couch - and this time, he’s holding himself above you.
“What the- I-”
“We’ll continue this later back at the company, I promise,” Then he rounds your cheek and presses a kiss into your cheekbone instead.
He pulls back, offering you his kind smile and a ruffle into your hair for good measure. Nothing in your body is working when you hear him shuffle for the door, and it clicks shut behind him, with Breaking Dawn already blasting in the filming space.
Sucking in a deep breath, you don’t realise how hard your heart is thumping in your head until you hear your own shaky exhale. You don’t know where to look, you can still feel his grip on your waist and his breath on your upper lip, and everything’s just a mess right now.
What the Hell just happened?
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“Eric - Dior Shirt Size M...” You mumble under your breath, fingers gripping the pen to the clipboard so hard, your writing would probably leave a mark in the sheet under. 
“I think this is the last luggage!” Younghoon’s stylist drags the black case in, lining it up with the last unopened one. “Need help?”
“Yeah, just open the luggage for me and separate Sangyeon’s clothes from Jacob’s, but otherwise I can handle it on my own.”
She nods, laying it down and unzipping it for the clothes to spew out. “How’s working here? It’s been over a year, right?”
“Mhm,” You glance at her, obviously tired. “It’s alright, but thanks to your advice since last year, I don’t think it could’ve been better.”
With a kind smile, she looks up at you, placing Sangyeon’s pants over his stack. “You’re experienced from ATEEZ, so it wouldn’t have been that hard anyway.”
She stands, resting her hands on her hips as you walk over, squatting to check Sangyeon and Jacob’s clothes. 
“So... what’s going on with you and Juyeon?”
I’d like to know too.
“Huh?” You look up at her, head tilted to the side with a sneaky cocked brow. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, please- All the stylists here know you and Juyeon are like- hanky panky nowadays. Pretty sure the boys know too, or at least have some idea.”
A cackle runs your throat dry as you graduate your attention to Jacob’s clothes. “Is that what they’re calling it? ‘Hanky-panky’? Cute.”
“Do you know why they’re still in a meeting this late?”
“No, why would I bother? As long as I don’t lose my job, it’s none of my concern.”
“They’re in meeting to be informed that their dating ban has been lifted.”
Your grip around the pen tightens, but halts abruptly. 
“Ah...” She sighs, contemplated with herself. “Cat got your tongue? Or should I say... Juyeon got your-”
Interrupted by the practise room door being pushed open, both of your attentions immediately flit to the new commotion. 
“Oh, Juyeon! Meeting’s over?”
“Yeah,” He turns and closes the door behind him. His hair was still waxed up from the day’s schedule, makeup still on but fading. Clothes snug around his shoulders with his belt tight around his hips. Those stupid jeans never did you any good since day 1. “Sangyeon said he left a ring in one of the luggages so he sent me to come get it while he counsels Kevin for twerking.”
“y/n’s just going through Sangyeon’s wardrobe, so she might find something,” Your colleague’s begun to take small, insignificant steps towards the door, and your anxiety begins to increase with every inch she places between the two of you.
“Which is why I’m here,” He stuffs his hands into his back pockets.
“Right, right,” Now, she’s already got her hand on the door knob, glancing past him and at you with wide, glistening eyes. “I gotta go check your wardrobe for tomorrow so... I’mma go now, and uh... security comes by around 12am. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“What-” You blurt out, receiving a sharp, surprised look from Juyeon.
“Bye! Bye Juyeon!”
“Bye,” He waves. 
“No, wait-” 
And so, the door clicks shut behind her, and her shadow behind the translucent material disappears down the corridor. 
The whir of the air-conditioner in the practice room fills all the awkward openings in the room, but all you can hear is the rapid thunk of your heart in your brain - as if that was even possible. 
Thunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunk
“About earlier today-”
“Give me a moment while I look for Sangyeon’s ring. What does it look like?” Standing up too fast, your vision goes white and a second of dizziness throws you off your balance.
So, of course, Juyeon rushes over and holds you by your waist before your ankles or knees give way. The incessant blinking makes you wish you could actually pass out right now, because your weight’s in his arms and you can’t bring yourself to look him in the eye.
“Iron deficiency much?” The corner of his lips curl up into his cheek before releasing you. “Do you need to sit down?”
Clearing your throat, you turn away first. “No, I-”
“Good, because I have some points to make and you’re gonna stop running away from them like you’re doing now.”
The change in tone runs chills down your spine and goosebumps erupt all over your skin - thank god you were wearing a blazer, safe from his observation. 
“How have you tolerated it so much?” He folds his arms across his chest, tilting his head innocently but his eyes say otherwise. It’s always his eyes that tell a whole different story from the person he’s known to be. 
“Y’know, being around me but you’re so calm and collected and I just...” He shakes his head, and to your dismay, takes a step forward - which drives you backwards. “How?”
His voice is too sing-songy. It’s too calm and collected for you because you’re about to barf up your dinner, which was a good 4 hours ago now. There’s nothing left in your stomach to barf up. 
He takes another intimidating step and you wince at your inability to look him in the eye.
Another step back. 
“Like, I know we’re friends but my God-” Shaking his head, he sinks his teeth into his bottom lip.
Another step forward. Another backward.
“It’s upsetting that I can look ‘raunchy’ and it doesn’t seem to do anything to you... But seeing you the way you are every other day makes me want to- just-”
Another step forward. 
One more one back.
And your breath halts.
Your back hits the wall, the rear of your skull lined with the pillar. 
Oh, no.
Gritting your teeth so tight, your jaw starts to ache and your temples are throbbing. 
“I’m not seeing things, right?” A flicker of curiosity sparkles in his eyes when you muster up the courage to look at him - only to regret it instantly. “It’s not in my head that you feel the same way I do, right?”
“I... Don’t know what you’re talking about- You’re an idol... and I’m- I’m just your stylist and I-”
“‘Just my stylist’?” The comment forces his brows into a slight frown, before he lifts his hand and covers the bottom half of his face with his palm. “Rethink what you just said.”
Sucking in a deep breath, your chest wells with a horrid mix of desire and self-discipline. Those two don’t go well together. 
“We can talk about this some other day,” You choose to say, dragging your body along the pillar in a bid to shift out from the wall-Juyeon sandwich like a fool. He lifts his arm and presses his palm into the pillar behind you, caging your poor, poor soul in this fateful corner of his stupid practice room.
“Juyeon, we need... boundaries in this industry. One scandal and it’ll destroy your career.”
“Boundaries?” He buckles his elbows, shrinking the gap between your noses. “Boundaries are for idols who still have a dating ban.”
Breathing down your nose, he’s too close for comfort. You can smell his cologne, the scent of his hair wax and see the bumps on his cheek under the faint layer of makeup. You don’t realise you’re trembling until he tilts his head ever so slightly, free hand reaching up to your chin to steady your face.
“Stop running from me,” Shaking his head painstakingly subtly, he whispers into your lips. “You were mine from the start and you know that.”
The adrenaline rush through your nerves sets off fireworks all over you when he slots his body against yours, lips fitted with yours like puzzle pieces; against the wall, with his palms on your cheeks. There was no care or consideration with how much strength he was channeling into this kiss - it feels so pent-up, so frustrated. Without warning, your body resigns as you circle your arms around his shoulders.
Gripping the rim of his collar in your hands, his hands drop to your waist and holds you closer, if it were even possible. A million thoughts race through your head - and at the same time, none. This moment was something you didn’t even know you needed. 
Juyeon’s hands roam the small of your back as he keeps you against the wall, relaxing into the kiss and sighing into it instead. 
This bliss comes in the form of him. Him who provides you all the sinful wants deep down inside you. 
But this bliss doesn’t last, for the practice room door swings open violently and tears Juyeon off you.
“I told you to find my ring, not hook up with your crush!”
466 notes · View notes
asteriismos · 4 years ago
Text
flashing lights — bill denbrough
pairing: bill denbrough x fem! reader
warning(s): smut, eighteen! bill denbrough, is it choking if he doesn’t squeeze?, fingering, piv sex, cursing, ig kinda degrading idk tho judge for yourself, unedited
summary: bill, the star baseball player of derry, and you, from another high school, meet in the locker room and get to know each other. 
words: 3.1k
note: don’t say i never gave you anything i am a woman of my word
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sitting here in the bleachers adjacent to the baseball field, with the setting sun in your gaze and the feeling of newly spring wind on your skin, you had high hopes that your schools baseball team would win. out of all the schools in lieu with your own, bangor high school, derry’s team was the most anticipated of in the season. where most high schools in the nation favored the fall sport of football, the central part of maine where you lived actually liked baseball more, so when the first sprouts of spring showed, everyone was excited for the next season. 
you were a senior, almost finished with school and personally tasked yourself and your group of friends with trying to go to every single baseball game that you all could make it to - whether they were at home or away. 
“look, he’s up to bat,” your friend marcella said, catching your attention by lightly tapping your shoulder and motioning to the field. there you saw your close friend owen, who was the star player of your school’s team and one of your friends since you were a little kid. he was the person who introduced you to the group that you were here with now, here specifically to cheer him on. 
you saw him walk to home plate, bat in hand and getting into position to swing. your eyes took you across from him to the pitcher of the other team, who you didn’t know but could see the name displayed on the back of his shirt. denbrough. you raised your eyebrow at the last name, it didn’t ring a bell. 
the crowd started to cheer for your friend, waiting for denbrough to throw the first pitch. everything became silent, and the ball was thrown with stellar accuracy. whoever this denbrough boy was, he was seemingly a really good pitcher. when the second ball was thrown and owen missed yet again, your hand ran through your hair nervously. you could hear people whispering all around you, wondering if he was going to strike out. 
just as if someone of the heavens was listening to the anxious worries of your fellow classmates, denbrough went to throw the ball and owen swung and the ball went flying, going straight for the outfield as owen ran with all his might to first base. you cheered with your friends, yelling words of encouragement and praise towards your team. 
the game, from that point, was in your high schools favor. it was seemingly decided almost halfway through that bangor high school had it in the bag, which did nothing for any person in your crowds ego. just as the last inning was finished, your school came out victorious. 
“hopefully this means that we’re going to the championships this year,” you heard people say. “and maybe we can host it at our school so we don’t have to drive all the way out here again.” 
you were anxious to see your friend, running down the stairs of the bleachers and shouting his name, but owen didn’t hear you. sighing, you turned to your group to say, “should we get back home?” the team would have to come back by bus anyways, which sucked, because you wanted to congratulate your friend on such a good win. 
“yeah, probably before it gets too late, you know how bad those backroads are,” jake stated. “do you want to catch a ride with me? im sure marcella can take your car back.” 
half of you wanted to go with them and just see owen later, but to you, it felt like poor taste to make him wait that long. plus, maybe you could catch him before he left. you shook your head, “no, i’ll stay. i want to see the team. go without me, I'll see you tomorrow.” 
jake laughed. “okay, just don’t get lost.” he wiggled his eyebrows in a teasing manner and walked away, taking your friends with him and leaving you alone in the front of derry high school. 
you had been here once before, just for a short while and after a baseball game like right now. but that was all the way back during freshman year when you were trying to find the bathroom, you really had no idea where the locker rooms were. 
opening the large door, you started along the main hallway, looking at the posters that aligned the wall that reminded you of your own school. derry was really similar in layout, so perhaps it wouldn’t be that hard. turning the corner, you saw a sign that pointed to the gym and the locker rooms. in no time you were there, but there was no one coming out of the doors. had they already left and you missed them? it was silent. 
you put your ear to the door and listened, hearing some rustling. you knocked, but there was no answer, making you raise your eyebrow. and you don’t exactly know what prompted you to open the wooden door and make your way inside, but you did, and along the array of closed lockers, your eyes took you to the one person who was in there. 
it was the denbrough pitcher. 
you got a good look of him now, with his honeyed locks that fell messy on his forehead, standing taller than you. his back was slightly turned to you and through his jersey you could see his toned back muscles, making you lose yourself for a moment and send you almost stumbling over your feet. you knew that he was attractive from the moment you set your eyes on him but you didn’t know that he was this attractive. 
he turned around now and immediately those dazzling cerulean blue eyes landed on you, making your face heat up in realizing that this was not the visitors locker room like you had intended on trying to find. 
“sorry,” you fumbled out after a moment of shameless staring. “I was looking for my friend.” denbrough tilted his head to the side and you watched him take out a bag and push his locker door closed. instead of walking out like you should’ve, you just stood there watching him. it was in poor taste, since the longer you looked at him, you could see clearly that he was angry. 
a tiny grin came to his face. “it’s fine, no one’s in here except me anyways.” a silent moment passed and then a quizzical look came to his face, eyes falling back on you. “wait . . . weren’t you cheering on the other team?” he had noticed you, just as you were now noticing him. the room seemed a lot smaller than it had earlier and you ignored the fluttering feeling in your stomach the longer he stared at you. you didn’t even know his name. 
“yeah, it was a good game,” you shrugged your shoulders. 
“we should’ve won that game.” 
a cocky grin splayed on your features. “well, im sure you’ll get another shot next time.” you would have to play them again to secure a spot in the championships, it was still rather early in the season anyways. 
“will you be at the next game?” denbrough asked, he walked closer to you now, and there was a look in his eyes that was not easy to mistake. he was looking at you like you were a full course meal and he was the hungriest man on earth. and you liked the way that he looked at you, this gorgeous boy that you had barely met, and you wanted him to keep looking at you like that. well, you would rather him be doing other things. “maybe we could go do something together afterwards.” now you were certain of his likeness for you. 
you gave him a smirk. “well, i don’t know about that, i wouldn’t want to get involved with the opposing team.” when he noticed you were directly giving back the same energy he was giving, his feet stopped so he was just inches away from you. it took everything in you to keep yourself from grabbing him by those large muscles and - 
in a moment of weakness or just pure idiocy, you did exactly as you thought, lunging yourself forward, hands reaching for his face and pulling him into a searing kiss. when he reciprocated your movements, you had to stop another smirk from rising to your face, pushing it down and focusing on your hands that made it’s way to his soft hair. 
your kiss was unexpected by denbrough, though seemingly not unwelcome since his hands found their place exploring your sides, not being exactly gentle with his touches which you didn’t mind. this was so unlike you, doing something like this with someone you didn’t know. and to be honest, it was unlike him, too. 
but both of you were giving each other the ‘fuck me’ eyes and well, you only live once, right? 
as the kiss became more sloppy and he broke it to press kisses to your jawline and trailing down your neck, you breathed out and closed your eyes. “I don’t even know your name.” you sighed into his touches though, not really caring what his name was but knowing that it would probably be useful sometime soon. 
denbrough came back up to meet your gaze. “it’s bill,” he gave you a grin. “pleasure to meet you.” there was a sense of teasing in his tone, which you would’ve laughed at if his hands weren't reaching for where your shirt met your pants. 
“y/n,” you said weakly, already feeling your legs start to give out by the way that he was looking at you. you reached out to bill, wanting to feel his body pressed against yours again. he chuckled at your eagerness, giving you what you wanted by slowly pushing you against the lockers behind you. you felt the cool metal through your shirt and instantly realized how hot it was getting in this locker room, your skin was already on fire. 
bill reattached his lips to your skin and you spent the time trying to undo the belt that was around his pants that nicely accentuated everything that you wanted from him. thank god for baseball pants. 
tentatively, you pressed your hips against his and you heard a groan leave his throat, his lips stalling for a moment and then going back to his earlier movements. you were well aware of how excited he was, taking a moment to note that you could feel that he was absolutely fucking enormous. 
of course he was. 
as if he had enough of this teasing, his hand reached down and went straight under the band of your pants, being met with the wetness that was gathering in your panties. you bucked your hips forward into his hand and he smirked at how compliant you seemed to be with him. his other hand was gripping your side, keeping you close to him while the other pushed your panties to the side and the pad of his pointer finger came into contact with your slit. 
you moaned out and bill covered your mouth with his own, not kissing you but keeping it there. “so tell me,” he said, breath hot against you, finger tracing a line from your slick folds to your clit, making you almost keel over if it hadn’t been for his hand keeping you up and body pressing you farther into the locker. “this friend of yours, he was on your team wasn’t he?” 
you nodded, not trusting your voice. but he didn’t seem to like that, his hand stalling and not moving no matter how much you tried to gain friction. 
“answer me with words,” the hand on your side coming up to the bottom of your throat so you were forced to look at him in the face, those blue eyes on him seemingly had become darker. 
you took in a sharp breath. “yes,” you answered. his movements started again, but this time he took one finger and pushed it inside you till he was knuckle deep in, a large moan falling off of your tongue, eyes rolling to the back of your skull. 
“and how do you think he would feel seeing you like this for me? the star player of the other team?” bill’s tone was condescending and you wondered if he was normally like this, or he was just angry about the outcome of the game. his finger sped up, soon being joined with another one that slipped in with ease. you were so wet for him already. “but you wouldn’t care, would you?” 
it was seemingly rhetorical, because he didn’t wait for you to answer and instead attached his lips to your throat, teeth grazing a point that had you gasping, hand coming and tugging on those locks of his, the other falling to his neck. 
“bill,” you muttered. “please just-” you were cut off by a moan, gripping him close as his thumb came into contact with your clit and rubbed tight circles against it. 
he looked up at you from the mess he was creating on your neck. “please what?” 
“just fuck me.” 
you were really in no position to be making such requests since bill seemed to be in control (which really, you didn’t mind if it meant that he was making you feel good in the process), but at this point you were too strung out to care what he thought of the rather forward request. you knew that you needed him and you needed him now. 
bill pulled away from you and you took in his now ragged features, noticing the tint of red in his cheeks and the freckles that dotted them, and the goldenness that he seems to radiate. in some ways you hoped that this wouldn’t be your only encounter with the denbrough boy, but that was something to worry about later, since his hands were undoing the rest of his belt and you knew that was your cue to do the same with your own pants. 
soon enough you were back in the same position, one of his hands next to your head on the locker behind you as he moved to position his cock at your entrance, eyes meeting with yours as he pushed in to look at your reaction. and it was everything that he hoped to see, your mouth opening into an ‘o’ shape, lips parted and eyes never leaving his own. 
once he bottomed out, he already started a fast rhythm, giving you little to no time to adjust. but you were so needy you didn’t care, not one bit because he was making you feel so good that you wished for this moment to last forever. and you were already so wet and willing, bill couldn’t wait a second longer. 
your hands gripped onto his forearms, steadying yourself, but it was hard to keep your legs from giving out. bill must've noticed your struggle and leaned down, grabbing you by the back of your thighs and hoisting you up in his arms, using the leverage of the locker to fuck into you. 
the change in position made you quiver in his arms like putty, arms wrapping around his neck and caging him close to you. incoherent words fell from your mouth that wouldn’t close no matter how hard you tried, while his pace became fast, rough, and unrelenting. you didn’t know bill well but you could tell that he was adamant about making you feel good, which fueled the fire inside of you even more. 
if he was tired from playing the game, he didn’t even show it. bill fucked into you with such a frenzy that it was almost animalistic, which made you wonder how much energy this boy possibly had. what you didn’t know was it was your moans what were spurring him on, your moans that kept him going. bill had already been to point of exhaustion from the game but you were able to give him a second wind and he was not fucking up this one like he had fucked up in the game. his determination both of the field and in this moment caught up with him and well, he was bringing all of his emotion out. 
and you loved it so much that you couldn’t think straight. all you could do was try and keep yourself still, words stringing together into barely put together sentences of oh fuck yes and that feels so good. 
it was a moment of pure bliss that you didn’t even feel yourself start to clench around him, noticing it finally when you felt every inch of him scrape against your willing walls, bringing you closer to that cliff into a sea of pleasure that only he could give you. what finally made you break was the groans that he was making, which were hot and heavy and like heaven to your ears that you knew you would be playing on repeat before you went to sleep tonight. 
and then his hand slipped between your legs, pressing up against your swollen clit and that was it. you were sent into a state of pure, fucked out bliss as you came around him, your moans everything but silent. luckily there seemed to be no one around to hear, and if they did they didn’t bother with stopping it.
a few thrusts afterwards and with an insistent command from you to cum inside you because you were on the pill, bill came undone and it was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen in his life. as if this boy couldn’t get more perfect, haven been basically sent to you on a gift from god himself. he pulled out and you could feel the evidence slightly dripping out of you and onto your thighs. 
there was a moment of cleaning up, where he actually grabbed a towel from his locker and helped you wipe away everything and eventually sit down onto the bench between the sides of lockers. where you thought would be awkwardness, there wasn’t, a few words passed between the two of you and then you told him that you should go, you had to drive home. 
surprisingly, he asked if you needed help and then you remembered you barely knew him and shook your head. it was late anyways, he probably had things to do. 
and when you got control of your limbs again (which bill cheekily smirked at), you walked out of the high school, him trailing behind you. you gave him one last look before parting ways, and in the heat of the moment, you told him your number and to call him if he ever wanted to get together again. 
932 notes · View notes
solomonish · 4 years ago
Text
selfless (to a fault?) [demon brothers]
CW: allusions to past toxic relationships. minor description of injury in beel’s. belphie’s is a bit sad (happy ending! just melancholic vibes) and alludes to chapter 16.
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no problem nonnie! i hope this is to your liking <3
nowdateables: here!
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Lucifer
Honestly, he'd be a tough one to get to allow you to do anything for him. You know, the whole avatar of pride thing
.and he also just generally has a habit of holding the weight of the world on his shoulders. He thinks - no, he knows he can handle everything on his own
If he's letting you in enough to help him - not only trusting you enough to think the tasks he delegates to you will be done to his liking, but allowing you to help and opening up the possibility that he might be risking his image of perfection - he can only expect you'll let him do the same for you. It's like your own special love language, right?
He does NOT like how jumpy you are about the subject. At first, he's miffed. Do you not think he can do the task to your liking? Has he given off the false impression that he cannot take any more work than he already has? Was your offer to help not based on affection, but pity??? It really ruffles his feathers.
He's the type to confront you head-on. At first, his voice is harsh because he's talked himself into thinking you've offended him, but when you start backing away and trying to dodge the conversation, apologies falling from your mouth about how the last thing you wanted to do was upset him, he softens. He doesn’t understand yet, but something is upsetting you and he intends to get to the bottom of it.
Not one who would pester you about opening up to him, but the sooner you do, the more of a show of good faith it is. He’ll trust your word entirely regardless, but it does a lot to soothe the upset of his own creation if you come back to explain sooner rather than later. After all, being vulnerable is perhaps Lucifer’s greatest show of love - it does not go unnoticed when you do the same.
Doing his best to talk through a solution is act of kindness #1 - and it helps you adjust a little since you worked with him rather than completely handed him the reins. He starts off his own plan to help you out by bringing in things he was already going to do for himself - offering you coffee when he gets his own, for example. He uses the fact that you’d feel bad for refusing against you for a little bit, but he means well!
You might notice him going softer on you for just a little bit - don’t say anything about it. He’s worried that he gave off the impression of using things against you because of how much of a disciplinarian he is. Besides, the two of you normally don’t get into arguments (he doesn’t have the time to let things simmer - if he’s that upset about something, he’ll try to address it immediately), so he doesn’t really know how else to change his behavior. He just hopes that allowing you the opportunity to open up to him again, should you need it, will alleviate the feeling that he’d ever use your kindness against you.
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Mammon
The first time you stiffened up after he tried to help you, he thought you were crazy. Lucifer had just given you a punishment for one of his schemes that you took the fall for (and he still isn’t sure why Lucifer let you take the fall when it was obviously Not You), and you insisted that you could do it by yourself! He wasn’t too keen on cleaning every window in the House of Lamentation himself, so he left soon after placing the offer, but his time was spent mindlessly wondering about you.
The next time was shortly after, when you came into his room and crashed on his bed. He offered you a hand massage, although he did it in a very muttered voice with dark cheeks - and you said no again! Forget being offended that the romantic hand-holding idea he totally didn’t get from a magazine he was reading waiting for you (that would’ve somehow ended in disaster anyway) wouldn’t play out - he was getting worried.
He doesn’t bring anything up immediately, but he worries about you and watches you intently. Sometimes you’ll catch him staring at you, and he flips out when you ask him what’s up. The only clue Mammon gathers is that you don’t seem to be angry with him, so what’s up? He’s used to his backwards advances working against him, but he’s making a genuine effort here!
He finally gets pent up in his frustration and asks you head-on. Mammon isn’t known for his tact - “Oi, why won’t you just let me take over once in a while? Cut yerself a break, MC!” - but there’s a certain...desperate tinge to his voice that makes you realize he really does care (and is driving himself crazy trying to figure things out on his own). When you DO finally tell him, he sort of deflates and his voice goes to that softer, more genuine tone.
“H-hey, I would never do that kind of thing to ya
” He starts shuffling in place, kicking at rocks (if there are any) and you realize he kinda looks like a kid. “You do so much for everyone, and it makes me feel real good inside. I just wanna make you feel that, too. Besides, we don’t need TWO cranky workaholics in the house. Lucifer is plenty.”
He knows one moment of honesty isn’t going to fix your entire way of thinking, but he goes right back to his blatant offers after that. Maybe if he desensitizes you to it, you’ll feel less weird about accepting his help! It doesn’t work, so he shifts to little things. Catch him running across classrooms as soon as you’re dismissed so he can grab your textbooks to carry for you off the desk before you can. 
Once he realizes you’re more receptive to him helping you, he’s ready to breathe a sigh of relief and be annoying about it again. Generosity doesn’t come easy to him, okay? Besides, he’s The Great Mammon! You should’ve known he’d be better than any other guy you’ve been with!
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Leviathan
Of COURSE you wouldn’t want someone like him to help you out. He’d probably mess it up, anyway

Seriously, Leviathan is very sensitive to rejection, so the moment you politely decline any offers to help he backs up about a thousand miles and sulks when you’re not around. It’s hard for him to get out of his own head, and he’s so ready for you to just tell him what everybody else is thinking and how much he sucks

It dawns on him, though, that you never gave up on him when he pushed you away. It’s totally not poggers sucky of him to just give up on you like that. You’re his henry! You’re his s/o! He’s totally ready to fight any boss for you!! 
..after he levels up a little more.
Levi spends a TON of time looking up ways to talk to you, one-on-one. He isn’t good with emotions like this but he is capable of them and having deep, serious talks. It shouldn’t MATTER that his research material is a bunch of feel-good romance anime scenes that he based his most recent Top 10 OTPs of the season post on! 
Surprisingly enough, he brings it up relatively smoothly one night when you’re chilling in his room and he’s playing some relaxing simulator. You’re complaining about the things you have to do in the morning, and when there’s a lull in your conversation Leviathan turns and tentatively asks, “Hey...why don’t you try letting me help you out?” He can feel your refusal before it comes so he hurriedly adds “Please! I just- you stress yourself out so much and what good am I if I can’t even help you at all?”
Is it his impassioned plea for you to let him in? Is it his willingness to obviously step out of his comfort zone? Have your walls just conveniently crumbled at this moment? Whatever it is, you don’t have it in you to reject him when he’s so open about wanting to help you (and the pain it’s caused him not to). Either way, you sigh and give him a few, small tasks that you think you both could manage him having and he swears to do them well!!
Truly opening up to him about the reason why you were so hesitant on letting him help takes a while, and he doesn’t exactly pick up on it himself. Once you do tell him, though, in your journey to help yourself let him in, he holds you a little tighter and mumbles that he’ll never do that to you. Levi knows better than anyone that words can only mean so much, but he’s grateful for the chance to prove it to you. He won’t let his Henry down!
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Satan
Satan is perceptive, and he knows how to talk about emotions. He might even have suspicious about the root cause before you even think about letting him know what’s up. He’s already started doing a few things for you - carrying each other’s books, for example. Small acts of kindness to get the both of you through the day.
However, one thing Satan isn’t good with
..is dealing with emotions head-on.
He spends so much time keeping his own under lock and key! After doing his best to keep the most calm, analytical front he can, Satan tends to uh
.forget about the emotional part of emotions.
So. When he asks why you won’t let him reciprocate in the relationship, attempting to display that he just wants the two of you to be on equal ground and he is worried about you, he sort of comes off...as cold. And like he’s accusing you of feeling a certain way. He definitely presents it as “I’ve noticed you feel x and i think y would be helpful for us to fix it” rather than “how are you feeling? What is causing you trouble? How can i offer assistance in a way that translates well to you?” And if that doesn’t bring back some memories

He feels awful, and at the end of it all you’re crying (or presenting your stress and bad memories however you normally do) and he still doesn’t know how to fix things. Counterintuitively, he looks through his books for an answer, and it takes him a few days to realize that’s what got him into this mess.
So he goes to you directly and, albeit a little clumsily, apologizes and asks what he can do to help you through this. You say that’s just the problem - you don’t want his help - and he sits next to you and just asks why? The two of you wind up talking for hours, sitting next to each other and just...really talking. You aren’t the only one feeling vulnerable - Satan is talking about his emotions full-on rather than through a scientific lens and it makes him just as nervous as you are.
Satan doesn’t get into arguments with you. He runs from the possibility because he’s worried about what his wrath could do to you. But he promises you that he could never hold anything against you, especially something like asking him for help. It’s an honor that you let him this close, and he can only return the favor in kind. He hopes you have enough faith to believe in him until he has the opportunity to prove it beyond a doubt.
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Asmodeus
Asmo does things for people without asking. He gives unsolicited makeup and relationship advice, he offers to touch-up any products you may have on, he lends you clothes just because he felt like he should

The thing is, Asmo will start before you even have a chance to ask him to stop. He’ll start before you’re even wondering if you like him. And at first, you’re ok with it. Well, you’re not, but you can decide he’s just testing the waters or that this is some weird demon way to earn your friendship or tell you he considers you a friendly presence, like cats. But it still rubs you the wrong way.
However, Asmo always notices that you...aren’t receiving it the way he wants you to. He invites you out and leaves you an outfit on your bed, and you come out wearing something entirely different. He leaves you a bouquet of flowers, and suddenly the dining room has a new bouquet in the center of it. (and you always avoid his gaze during those dinners, which is totally weird.) It’s almost like you’ve recognized the face he makes when he’s about to touch up your makeup, because you pull out a pocket mirror and check yourself over before he even has a chance to!
Are you leading him on? He doesn’t think so, but you are quite literally the only person he can’t literally charm the pants off of, and he isn’t quite sure how to navigate the signals you’re giving him. You seem fine with the relationship - it felt pretty genuine to him, and you looked thrilled when he made the romantic moves on you - so what was going on?
He finally caves and asks when he’s going through your wardrobe, sifting through it with you on the bed to make room for a shopping spree the two of you had been planning, and sees all the outfits he’d bought you hanging, still in their outfit bags. Some of the bags even had DUST on them!
He turns around and puts on a gentle voice. Though Asmo doesn’t know what’s happening, he can feel the air in the room shift and he knows he’s encroaching on some sensitive territory. “Hey, do you not like when I give you gifts? I haven’t been able to understand what’s been bothering you, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable
”
He does NOT like the way you turn your face away from him, but he sits a respectable distance away and keeps his hands in his lap. Asmo is as good at genuine advice as he is at gossip, so it isn’t hard for him to get you comfortable enough to open up to him. You don’t have to tell him everything at once - he’ll listen to whatever you’re willing to tell him, letting you lean against him when you’re ready.
Asmo is known for being petty, but you bring out sides of him nobody knew were there. He’ll swear up and down that he’d never turn your good heart against you - after all, it’s one of the many things he loves about you - but he does understand where you’d get that impression. If you’ll let him prove it to you, he will - and he’ll start by only pestering you to let him buy one outfit for you on that shopping spree!
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Beelzebub
Listen. Beel is a generous soul (for a demon) ((to those he really loves)). He just doesn’t ever really find himself in possession of anything worth sharing. Really, the only thing he is ever in the possession of is food. When he isn’t at his sports practice, working out or studying, he’s eating, and he’ll gladly share his food with you.
Oh? You don’t want it? He gives you a confused look - he’d ask if you were feeling well if he hadn’t eaten lunch with you just an hour before - but shrugs, his growling stomach winning over his concern. It’s not like you’re skipping meals, anyway. It isn’t until you get hurt helping him work out and refuse to let him pick you up to carry you to medical attention that he gets VERY concerned.
He feels awful enough as is. It was his fault you were even there - he just wanted to add more weight to his workout. (And, he won’t admit it, the idea of using a bench you were sitting on to lift over his head may have been a bit overkill. But he saw that little spark that said ‘that isn’t possible but man i wish it was’ when you saw it happen in that show and mmmmmmaybe he wanted to impress you. How was he supposed to know Mammon had broken it and left it there?) He could practically feel the pain in your ankle from the sound it made, and you were clutching desperately to your shin, wanting to press on the wound but knowing it was a bad idea. MC, there’s no way you can walk on that, why aren’t you letting him help?
The guilty puppy face he’s giving you is making the whole situation worse. It’s taking everything you can not to snap on, from the overwhelming pain in your ankle to the negative thoughts racing in your head to the knowledge that you’ll have to give in eventually. Finally, you face him head on and decide to just rip the band-aid off. “I don’t have the best experience with letting people do things for me. If you’re expecting to use this against me, I’m going to be out of commission for a while, so remember that.”
He is. So confused. Are you really mad at him? What are you talking about? It’s not that he’s stupid - because really, he isn’t - this just kinda came at him from left field and he does not know what to do about.
“What? I’m worried about you, MC, and there’s no way you can walk on your ankle. Come on, please let me take you to get help. I won’t mention it ever again if that’s what will make you happy.”
So maybe it takes a while to get to the nearest infirmary, and maybe he’s going extra slow so as not to jostle our injury, and maybe in the meantime he’s being so contemplative and quiet that you have a heart-to-heart. Beel’s too genuine not to trust him when he swears he’d NEVER use your kindness against you, but he understands it’ll take a while to show you.
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Belphegor
So. Um. This is awkward.
Belphie is a smartass, and he’s the youngest and used to getting his way. He’s definitely the type to dig his heels in and fight dirty in an argument, just because he’s used to winning. He’s also sadistic and has plotted with you to use his brothers’ weaknesses against them for fun. So he gets it. He totally gets why you would think he’d do it. Honestly, that’s basically what he did to free himself from the attic, only with more violence involved. He gets it.
Since Belphegor hasn’t exactly been the nicest to you in the past, he isn’t about to make you pity him with words like “yeah, of course you wouldn’t trust me after what I did to you
” First of all, on the off chance that it’s completely unrelated, he doesn’t want to put that idea in your head and give you a resentment you never had, but also he’s getting a hang of this redemption thing. Yes, on an average day he’s still a bratty, selfish little shit, but he does show you how sorry he is for using you and hurting you. It shows in the way he checks up on you in situations he knows you’re uncomfortable in, in the way he cares for you in that gentle way that’s so subtle you wonder if he’s even actively doing anything. (He is - offering you the best spot in a blanket nest, suggesting your favorite meals when the brother on dinner duty needs ideas, little things - and you both know it.) But how does he repent for something he doesn’t even know if he’s doing?
The way you stop cold when you peek in the kitchen and see him (and Beel) cooking the dinner you just complained about wanting hurts. The two of you have a stare-off for a moment, and Beel gets the message to slide out of the room. Belphegor clears his throat.
“What do you want?” You ask with narrowed eyes. Ouch, way to be a Lucifer. He instead says, “Nothing. I just wanted to do something nice for you.” “And you don’t want anything in return?” “Have I given off the impression that I would?”
You sigh and step into the kitchen to wash your hands, asking if he needs help since Beel left. He grabs your wrist. “You’re welcome to keep me company, but I want to do this for you.”
He doesn’t like you looking at him distrustfully, but is relieved you sit at the counter instead of leaving. He wants to ask you what’s up, but something is stopping him - he ignores that what’s stopping him is fear that you’ll have another thing to add onto the list of the unforgivable sins he’s committed. If you feel like telling him, he’ll listen - but until then, he’ll go back to quietly trying to prove his worth to you, hoping one day you’ll see that it’s genuine and let him give you all the good things you deserve.
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unsymp-sides-content · 3 years ago
Note
I wish you would write a fic where Janus was told constantly when he was younger that the light sides would never love and care for him because he's a snake by the other dark sides. So Janus grew up super self conscious about his snake traits and gets super confused when the other sides compliment them ~đŸ„”
This took forever but I hope you enjoy it
Characters: Janus, Logan, Roman, Patton
Word Count: 1.5k
Janus couldn't remember how old he'd been when he'd first mentioned thinking that his scales were pretty around one of the others. He could remember the way they'd looked at him though, incredulous and amused. And he could remember their laughter.
"Pretty?" they had mocked. "Who in their right mind would find those disgusting things pretty?"
Janus had frowned at that, not knowing what to say and the others had gone back to their conversation. But he hadn't been able to stop thinking about it.
Later that night, he'd stood in front of his mirror, slowly running his fingers over the left side of his face. The scales felt smooth and he slowly turned his head back and forth, watching the way they changed color slightly in the light.
Before, he'd always found it mesmerizing. Now, he couldn't get the others' words out of his head.
By the next morning, he still couldn't stop thinking about it. He paused in the hall after breakfast, staring into the mirror they had there and trying to decide whether his scales were beautiful or hideous. One of the others had caught him looking and sneered at him. "Admiring yourself again? I'm surprised you can stand to look at yourself for that long."
Janus really should have stayed silent then. But he couldn't help himself. "What do you mean?
The other side rolled his eyes. "I mean, you have to know how unnatural they are. All weird and inhuman. It's kind of creepy."
"...Oh." Janus had not, in fact, known that and the words stung more than he would have expected. "You really think they're that bad?"
"We all do. That's why we avoid you so much. Makes it kinda hard to look at you or, you know, like you."
And that, that hurt so much more than Janus had ever realized something could.
All he could manage was another, mumbled "oh" before he hurried back to his room, locking the door behind him.
From that day on, Janus started avoiding mirrors.
It was already too late though. The others used every opportunity they got to remind him how awful his scales were, how unlovable they made him, and how it was hard to even look at him most days.
After a little while, he started avoiding them too. But that didn't help much either. He couldn't get their voices out of his head.
Eventually, he'd simply accepted it. He got rid of all of the mirrors in his room and avoided going out into the mindscape as much as possible. He began wearing gloves so he wouldn't have to look at the scales on his hands. And he learned to accept that none of the light sides would ever love him.
He had expected them to be a little less blunt about their hatred though.
Logan was the first one he noticed it with. Every now and then he would catch the other side looking at him, more specifically his scales, a little too closely. Logan never said anything about it though, and neither did Janus. The others had already made it clear how hideous the snake half of him was, and he didn't need to hear from anyone else.
After a little while though, he started to notice Roman and Patton doing the same thing. They were far more subtle about it than the logical side had been and they at least had the grace to look away and make an excuse when they were caught.
Janus couldn't deny that it still stung, but at least they were kind enough not to say anything to his face. It was far better than anything he'd expected and anything that he was used to. So he could handle it. Even if hurt so much more coming from people he actually cared about. He was strong enough to take it.
Until he wasn't.
He'd already been having a bad day. Thomas had desperately wanted to get out of plans with some of his family and Janus had had to construct some rather intricate lies to convince them to leave him alone. Add the amount of effort it had taken to get Thomas to move past his guilt and agree to lying in the first place, and Janus' patience was running thin.
When he was finally done, he made his way to the living room of the mind palace where the others were gathered, rewatching The Office (despite Logan's protestations). He collapsed onto the sofa with a groan and Roman raised an eyebrow at him. "That bad, huh?"
Janus groaned again in response.
The others went back to the show and after a few minutes Janus sat up, looking around at them.
Patton and Roman seemed genuinely fixed on the show, laughing and joking with each other as they watched. Logan, however, was paying far less attention. He was still watching the show, and he'd chime in with the occasional comment, but every now and then, he'd dart a glance over at Janus. They usually lasted a few seconds and Janus couldn't help but notice the way Logan's eyes slowly passed over his scales each time.
On any other day, Janus would have done his best to ignore it or perhaps made an excuse to go to his room. But today was different. Today, he was already at the end of his rope.
So the fourth time he sensed Logan looking at him, he turned to meet his gaze with a sharp glare. "If you want me to leave that fucking badly, it certainly wouldn't be easier for you to just say that." His voice came out sharper than he'd intended but he couldn't bring himself to care.
Logan frowned at him, looking more confused than genuinely hurt. "I certainly do not want you to leave and I'm not certain what gave you the impression I do."
"Oh fuck off." Janus snapped. He could feel Patton and Roman staring at him too by this point and he ignored them. "I'm not stupid, Logan! I can't see the way you all constantly stare at me! I know my scales are hideous, I know it's hard to look at me, I know you all hate me. I know I'm disgusting."
Patton opened his mouth to say something at this point, but Janus pushed on.
"So if you'd rather not have to see me, fine, just tell me to leave! I don't care. But at least have the decency to say it to my damn face!"
Janus was yelling at this point and he was ashamed to realize there were tears starting to form in the corners of his eyes. He blinked them away quickly, refusing to look at any of the others.
The television was still playing in the background, but it sounded muffled and far away. Janus stared at a spot on the carpet with startling intensity, while the other three looked at him silently.
It was Roman who finally broke the silence. "What are you talking about?" He sounded genuinely confused. "I- none of us find you hideous or want you to leave. Why would we?"
Janus almost laughed at that. "Don't lie to me."
"We're not." It was Logan who spoke this time, shifting so he was directly in front of Janus. "I'm not certain what we did to make you believe this, but none of us hate you or find you repulsive. I cannot speak for the others, but personally, I was only watching your scales out of fascination. I find them quite aesthetically pleasing to look at, but I was worried that vocalizing this might make you uncomfortable."
Janus felt at a loss for words. Logan was lying. He must have been. And yet
. Janus couldn't sense any kind of lie in what he'd said. And the way Logan was looking at him was far too genuine to be anything but honest.
Before he could even start to recover from everything Logan had just said, Roman joined in, nodding.
"Calculator watch is right. Your scales are stunning. The way they glimmer in the light. The way their color seems to change everytime you look at them. Their lovely greenish gold hue, the way they blend so seamlessly into your face
."
Roman had gotten up and slowly started moving closer as he spoke. Now, he knelt in front of Janus and looked up at him earnestly. "They're beautiful. You're beautiful."
And that was finally too much. Janus felt tears spring up in his eyes again and this time there was nothing he could do to stop them. He let out a sob and slid forward, off the sofa and into Roman and Logans' waiting arms. A moment later Patton had joined them as well. He sat on Janus's other side, one hand slowly rubbing his back as he cried.
"It's okay, kiddo, it's okay. We're all here for you, okay?"
Janus couldn't bring himself to respond, simply sobbing harder. He felt the others shift closer to him in response and he let himself relax against them.
"It's okay," Patton murmured again, his voice soft. "We love you."
For the first time in as long as he could remember, Janus actually believed that.
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husky-twst-and-obeyme · 4 years ago
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Vice Dorms reacting to an Obey me! MC
From Anon : " I really liked the “dorm leaders with an S/o who came from the Obey me world” Headcanon. If you don’t mind could you do one but with the Vice dorm leaders? Thank you! “  Trey 
He was quite interested in your stories about your demon bros 
he was slightly concerned at certain stories , like Lucifer’s punishments on the brothers at times
He didn’t think he’d meet any of them because they seem busy but boi was he wrong 
 Once day , you and him were baking some goods since he promised to teach you your favorite treats 
Then out of nowhere , Beelzebub appears
He wasn’t sure why he was there but he immediately remembered that Beelzebub is the Avatar of Gluttony 
Trey was polite to him but he kept a share eye on him 
he caught Beel trying to sneak a bite at times , but all he did was lightly scold 
Beel tried his best to not eat bit his sin was hitting him hard 
you couldn’t help find the whole situation adorable , it’s like a mom watching a child which seemed very accurate for some reason 
soon after , trey finished a strawberry shortcake 
after seeing how Beel tried to hold it , trey gave the cake to him , and surprisingly beel didn’t eat it right then and there 
soon Beel left with the cake and it felt empty 
Later on days, Trey heard from you that Beel actually barely tries to eat the cake and savoring it as much as he can 
That really touched his heart 
Ruggie
He had never really believed too much about your stories of the demon bros 
that was until one of them actually came 
It was Mammon and when Ruggie saw him , he instantly  knew which one he was 
mammon, a white hair greedy demon , which is what you descripted to him in short 
Remembering the stories, he decided to have some fun~
Ruggie told Mammon that leona was a descendant of the “golden Lion” and that if you pulled his tail twice , you’d get good fortune 
He was surprised Mammon believed it because he was pushing a little 
Mammon somehow sneaked up Leona and actually pulled his tail twice
Ruggie laughed but stopped to try to save what would be left of Mammon
After that Mammon was really excited , which kind of made Ruggie feel bad , so to play into a little , he conveniently placed some money (not a lot) to make it look like it worked  but even then that made Mammon happy 
After Mammon Left , Ruggie noticed that he was getting more money more often , like Leona felt a little more generous , he found extra in one of his pockets, etc 
He explained it to you and then you told him that “If Mammon likes you , your money chances much higher “ which made him happy 
But then he slowly realized that Mammon was broke and in debt , which says a lot 
Jade 
He was quite interested in your stories , even took great interest in  the demons you spoke of 
by his luck, he was able to meet one 
You were chilling in the lounge and Jade was being your server , then Suddenly , Barbatos appeared 
Spiderman pointing meme 
Barbatos was there to get a status update from you but he did stay for a little since jade had questions 
Jade was thrown off when Barbatos mentions his time powers , which quickened his sense and knew what would happen , even predicated that Azul was about to burst through the door in anger 
Which jade didn’t believe until it actually happens 
He thought he could try to trick him into a contract but Barb was just as Sneaky as he was 
Barbatos almost even tricked jade into working for Diavolo as a joke 
but other then that , they got along fine 
After a bit, they proceeded to talk while Jade continued to work 
you were glad that Barbatos had a friend to share interests with someone else , Barb even promised to bring Mushrooms From Devildoom
Jamil
You didn’t tell him the stories directly , but he overhears from you telling kalim 
at first he has no interest but at some point , he will purposely listen on you two , he sometimes makes excuses to sit with you too and listen
He wasn’t sure how to think of these demons til he met a certain sleepy demon 
Belphegor appeared out of nowhere and Jamil considered him a threat , so he guarded Kalim naturally 
He calmed down when he saw you go up to him in  a friendly tone 
Belphie didn’t do much when he visited by it still made Jamil feel unsettled 
that was until he was alone with Belphie
He actually started talking once they were alone , which somewhat surprised jamil 
It was causal until he learns more about what happened between you and belphie, let’s just say he was surprised and a little freaked out 
but at the same time, Jamil somewhat did the same to you and the others before so he’s not too freaked 
Jamil somewhat bonds because they both share being regrettable of their decisions and trying to reform 
He felt a little sad because Belphie had to leave but he was looking forward to talking with him again 
Rook
As someone who has interest in all sorts of creatures, of course he’d listen to your stories 
He’ll listen very carefully and about each of the demons , angels and human you talked about 
and with his luck , Asmo appears, what beauty ! he was ecstatic
Asmo came because he wanted to visit Vil again but was put to a holt when Rook was complimenting him  
Asmo was absolutely loving how Rook was describing him and you were just standing there like “ now he’s gonna come even more often here” 
Rook calls Asmo “ Monsieur  DĂ©mon de la luxure (Demon of Lust) 
Asmo noticed how he was getting the worshipped he surely deserved , he even offered a way for Rook to summon but you stopped him because you know what rook might do with that 
but after that , Rook and Asmo enjoyed tea together and they actually talked about Vil with his beauty with Asmo indulging himself with his beauty at times , which Rook didn’t mind 
You were wondering if Asmo was gonna becomes a Pomefoire student at this point.
Ortho
He was young(?) so of course he’d love to listen to your stories 
Sometimes he even records what you say so he can listen to it again if he wanted 
one time you offered to summon one of the demons for Orthro to ask questions or research and he was so excited 
That’s when you summoned Satan 
He seemed Irritable , might of been reading , until he noticed little ortho looking like a ball of energy 
he gives you a look and you mouth “go along with it “ 
Ortho starts asking basic questions of demons and Satan seemed to be enjoying himself , which somewhat surprised  you 
Satan actually stayed longer than you intended but it was fine with you 
satan mainly followed ortho , because he was actually somewhat interested in Ortho’s history but he doesn’t go into too much detail with him
For the most part they were enjoying each other company and it was hard to break them apart 
sadly there was a point where Satan had to leave but he promised Ortho to come again , he even gave him a book to read over and that they can talk over when he comes back again 
Ortho is looking forward to it each day 
Lilia
do we really have to mention how he’ll react? 
this guy probably has some demon friends himself but he still took interest in your stories 
He does want to meet one of them because of how interesting they sound , mainly lord Diavolo , he kinda sounds like malleus in  a way
You would love to introduce but you don’t have a pact with Diavolo , sadly 
but to your surprise, Diavolo came to you , for a check up of course 
Diavolo came in like his usual style and was caught off when seeing lilia with you 
That’s when you took your chance and introduce them to each other 
which you somewhat regret 
they start talking but they actually talk for HOURS 
you left for the nigth and came back in the morning and see them STILL at the tea table talking- like what ???
You were glad they were getting along but still- 
Lilia actually mentions some secrets to Diavolo but stops when you get too close to hear them , no sneaky mc ~ 
so overall , Lilia made an ally and friend with the king of demons 
(hope you enjoyed! )
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yuzukult · 3 years ago
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i’m bad too 18 || kdy & reader
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title: i’m bad too - drabble series pairing: kim doyoung x reader genre: angst, fluff, eventual smut, goodboy!doyoung, nerdy!dy (basically he’s a dork) & badgirl!reader, hitman!au, oc-isn’t-a-hitman-but-she-could-be!au, word count: 1.8k warnings: none for this chapter a/n: just two more chapters left to the end !! :D taglist: @wownajaemin​​​​ @crescent-iak​​​​ @ncttboo​​​​ @byunbaekby​​​​​ @jinfizz​​ @doyoungyoung​​ @ahgayeah0305​​ @doyobun​​ @sexualitaeyong​ @mrkleelvr​​ @m1ss-foodi3​​ @hcwurld​​ ← previous chapter || next chapter →​​
Doyoung’s favorite drink is caramel coffee.
He doesn’t like it hot—you recall him mentioning, he prefers it iced, and he finishes it so fast that the cubes don’t melt and condensation doesn’t drip off the sides of the plastic cup.
So you shouldn’t be surprised that he’s at this very cafĂ©. Especially since it is his spot, but it also shouldn’t be news to you when you’ve come here everyday for the past two weeks in hopes of running into him.
You wonder how he’s been doing. It’s been months since you’ve last seen him; forever ago since you saw him with that girl Karina, and you’re curious if he thinks about you as often as you think about him. He’s on your mind daily, sometimes by the hour depending on what you’re doing, and he feels like a drug you can’t quite quit (despite the shortage of time you’ve done fine without him).
And you admit willingly that your feelings for him come rushing back the moment you see that pretty smile dressed upon his lips when he laughs from his chest at the video his friend shows on his phone.
But you continue to sit in the corner of the shop, face behind your device as if you’re immersed in the technology when you’ve got your eyes on him the entire time.
Instagram doesn’t do justice. You never know what he’s really up to, you learn, because his feed only shows the happy pictures he poses for. But his stories—you stay for that. There’s some nights you’d catch him posting something with a scenery, a little heartfelt description written along the horizon, and it gives you a glimpse of how he’s vaguely feeling. Maybe they’re for you, well, you were hoping they were, but for a guy who isn’t the greatest in the romance department, he’s very artistic, so it wouldn’t be surprising if it weren’t for you.
Maybe it was for Karina.
Okay, there might be a slight chance that you were bitter about that chick. She hung out with Doyoung often, from what you speculate, possibly involved in the same friend group, having mutuals together (which, already is how she’s so different from you). She roughly reminds you of that emotion that runs through your veins when you first saw Doyoung talking to Joy; that clenched jaw, tightened fist, and a deep swallow to push down all your anger. Joy was just a friend, and you eventually learned that without having to go the hard route, but Karina
 didn’t give you any reason to believe her friendly motives. But Doyoung isn’t yours, you have to remind yourself, and because he isn’t, there’s no need to get upset.
For one, the times you followed (don’t judge, you missed him but didn’t want to approach him if he wasn’t ready) him, Karina always stuck to Doyoung like glue. She was practically joined by the hip; batting her pretty long lashes, cheeks brushed with that coral pink blush like she’s all embarrassed because sweet boy Doyoung accidentally touched the back of her hand, and whenever she got the chance, she’d hold onto his arm tightly, pretending that she couldn’t catch her balance in those Ultraboost sneakers that were basically socks on a sole with no support.
“Ugh, you always do this,” one of his friends says, loud enough that you could hear from where you’re sitting. “How do you manage to beat me every time?”
“I learned the tricks,” Doyoung retorts, voice stable but his face all smug. “Doesn’t look like you did though.”
The other guy rolls his eyes before tossing his phone onto the table. “Forget that dumb game. I’m actually curious about something,” he begins, leaning over with his forearms pressed against the surface. There’s a mischievous smile that tugs on the ends of his mouth, and you rest back in your seat in curiosity when his tone changes. “You and Karina. What are the two of you?”
You nearly snap the pen you’d been fiddling in your hand.
Fucking Karina. Again. This bitch just keeps being brought up, doesn’t she?
Doyoung shifts in his seat, hands with his phone dropping onto his lap. A brow quirks, narrowing a strange gaze at his friend. “Why are you asking?”
“Mmm, heard there’s rumors going around about Karina liking you.”
“And,” Doyoung takes a sip of his iced coffee. “Why’s that matter?”
The friend clicks his tongue, groaning that Doyoung isn’t picking up the not-so-subtle hints. “Because. Have you seen her? Or are you just blind. She’s smokin’ hot like
 literally any guy would want to get with her. And you too, which is kinda crazy—”
“—is it impossible to believe that someone attractive can like me?”
“I mean, no offense Doyoung, you don’t exactly look like the type that would sweep those types of girls off their feet. You spent most of the time indoors! Watching movies, playing games, maybe sometimes you go out to clubs and parties but barely and it’s with our geeky friends. Even I can come to terms that I’m a geek. Jocks or bad boys are what she would be into.”
Doyoung sighs. “Where are you going with this?”
“You should date her. Since, you know, you have that chance.”
He shrugs, bending the straw of his drink like he’s occupied with something else that’s going on in his mind. He’s quieter than usual, especially around a friend, and it’s left you pondering what’s got him so tied up. But then, you hear it.
“I’m waiting for someone.”
His guy scoffs in belief. “You’re waiting for someone. Who? That chick you were having friends with benefits with like a year ago? Dude, she was also out of your league. Rode a motorcycle, didn’t talk to anyone, hot, and somehow you got her attention. But dude, she’s been gone for a while now.”
Doyoung purses his lips. “Told her to come to me whenever she’s ready. Karina and I don’t really have something like
 that. Not worth dropping the chances of her coming back and seeing me with Karina.”
“She’s got you that bad?”
A soft smile pulls on his lips, and he nods confidently. “Yeah, she does.”
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When Doyoung and his friend pack up their bags to leave, he halts in his tracks. “Actually, you head out first. I’ll meet you later tonight, I won’t be going to the pre-game.”
The latter stares at Doyoung suspiciously. “Really? What’s up with you? Thought you said you were tagging along.”
“Yeah but
 I gotta do something real quick. I’ll meet up with you.”
Strange, you think to yourself, because Doyoung seemed like he was going to leave too, until that very last second. Then, you notice something. When his friend leaves through those double doors, he turns and looks directly at you.
At you. Like he sees you.
You’re not a ghost, but you’re pretty good at camouflaging yourself with a crowd. You’re not the prettiest nor the ugliest, so being average has an advantage in this field, but Doyoung isn’t like normal people. He sees you, and even though you’re in a black baseball cap with casual clothes to match, he still can spot you in a sea of people.
“You’re here,” he says, his tone between a question and a statement. Part of you expects him to be angry, fuming with rage because you’re here instead of asking him to meet up. “You’re
 actually here.”
“I’m surprised you found me,” you retort, standing up from your seat and gathering up your belongings. “I thought I was good at blending with people.”
“I’m in love with you, you expect me to not see the girl I’m head over heels for?”
You pause.
Bag not even slung over your shoulder, your heart does the complete opposite of your motions and races. He what?
“Why aren’t you saying anything?” Doyoung straightens his posture, trying his best to read the expression on your face. “Why
 Why haven’t you called or reached out? Were you not ready until now?”
“I thought
 you had a girlfriend,” you admitted, and truthfully, you’re not sure how Doyoung manages to get you to spill out your insecurities so easily. His eyes widened, and before he could say anything else, you interrupt his train of thought. “But that was months ago. It’s fine. I trained, and I’m back in the field, and I wanted to see how you were doing, that's all.”
“But you didn’t want to call me?”
You clear your throat, drifting your gaze elsewhere. “Like I said before. Thought you had a girlfriend. I don’t want to interfere with anything in your life that could be normal.”
He has a finger on your chin, directing your attention back to him. Your heart skips a beat this time, air sucked out of your lungs from his stare, and you swallow. “I waited for you, though. If you’re ready to come back, please come back. I have never dated anyone since I left your place, and I don’t intend to either. I made a promise and I’m keeping it.”
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You hated reporting here.
There’s something ominous about this warehouse; it’s not just the people who occupy it, but it’s the building itself. Outside, it looks like an abandoned stone mill. Worn down walls, windows shattered, and located in a dangerous neighborhood, secluded from all the up-and-coming buildings that are being constructed a couple blocks down. The cars that came for drop off didn’t come here either, so it made the building even more mysterious and seemingly empty.
But the moment you stepped in the front doors—it’s like a factory.
A factory that manufactured everything from guns, grenades, to bombs, and so on. Everything that you wore on missions, everything you held between your fingertips, and everything you utilized in the field were all made here.
The headquarters.
Upon entering, you had to go through security. Guns are to be logged in, identities are checked through the system, quick but yet thorough pat down, and phones are chipped until you leave the premises. Needless to say, they were careful and even someone like you with so much skill and worthiness cannot go undetected here.
“Boss is asking for you.” A gorgeous girl says, clipboard in her arms. She’s got her hair tied in a low bun, glasses on with thick frames, and a pencil skirt to pair with her white blouse.
“I asked for boss, but yeah, that.”
She nods, bowing her head just slightly and you’re wondering how she even got in this field. Shy, quiet, and fragile, she seems, and you wonder if she knows what’s actually happening around here. “Please follow me.”
She takes you down a narrow hallway, far from where the other workers were posted, and takes you through these metal doors that looked too heavy for her to push, but the guards standing by the sides do it for her instead.
“Head on in. He’s waiting.”
“Right,” you gesture her a head nod in thanks.
Taeyong is seated at his desk, two additional guards standing on either side of the wood, and he’s fidgeting with the pen in his hand. “Lookie here. Our star player. Ten’s little sister. What do I owe the honor?”
“I want out.”
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retphienix · 2 years ago
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Oooooh~
I rather enjoy this.
So, grand scheme, this is sort of a 4th wall dev to player explanation to the morality behind the thieves, or their interpretation, and I agree!
I'll try to be blunt, I typed too much and really don't need to. Twice. This is somehow the short version, lmao.
This story plays with a lot of allegory and metaphor (pretty much the entire plot is us fighting shadow selves and stealing desires to change hearts, all of which dabble in being both literal and not all at once- in essence even when we LITERALLY steal their desires manifested as physical items, you can say the real impact is everything around it that forces them to BELIEVE their desires are stolen and then have the change of heart, I'm getting meta on top of meta and am probably just wrong, forgive me, I have a habit of conceptually understanding literary ideas and flubbing the vocab lmao) and it's pretty clear in what it intends the morality behind things to be, but it's nice to say directly I suppose, especially when the very plot plays with this question a lot. This feels like the devs answer in between the plot's dilemma.
Like, up to this point I've been interpreting what the persona users do as a great and dangerous power, that they are using justly thus far. They could apparently do whatever they want inside someone's head, manipulate the hell out of them and leave them a puppet ready to die at their word, and instead they've tricked each person to manifest their worst traits, forced them to focus on those traits, and then told them "I've taken them, what's that leave? What are you without this? What were you with it?" and the following recovery period of them thinking on that leads to the Change Of Heart.
Early on I was curious if it was more direct, as if we were forcing things and if that was immoral; My question was along the lines of "Yes, they are better now, but would they have gotten here without us? Did our interactions take away from the genuine nature of it? Is this fake?" or something like that.
-and while I still find it an interesting line of thought, the more I think of what we actually do in each palace the more I think "Not really? Right?"
Like the more I think on what we directly do, the more I think that we're more pushing them to think on themselves than we are kicking them in the nuts and saying "Do what I want or else", not that I simplified it that much, just to explain it lol.
So this little scene with our boy Maruki presenting the concept of what we do in a more "real" form- to take the metaphor of our actions and give them a real literal interpretation, kinda snaps it all into place for me.
I think the thought experiments of questioning the morality of using this power in general can still be great fun, I still think key players like Akechi offering friction to our interpretations of what we do is good! I also think it's maybe a bit too "clean" to directly say what we're doing is akin to counseling or therapy (but for the purpose of turning of a metaphor level Change Of Heart into real word terms I'm accepting it), but this really "Clicks" as the missing piece to my interpretation of what we've done so far.
Because in all honestly, from Kamoshida onward, I've felt like we've been forcing them to look in on themselves, and my moral quandary came from the "Force" itself, the potential that we were stealing their responsibility (there is a word I wanted to use and forgot oh my god it's the thing you say a protagonist might lack which makes them less interesting holy heck what is the word I give up) not the rest tbh. So while this is a rather clean and tidy implication of correlation, I like it. I'm accepting this.
The more I think, the more it clicks.
What I'm getting at is, the Change Of Heart being an allegory for counseling, complete with having the other person confront themselves when its done and the result of that being the goal, our influence being more to assist them to see through their current frame of mind rather than force our will, attempting to guide them forward in a positive light, and the sticking point that allows them to reflect and make better choices being to lift their eyes from the surrounding nonsense (by taking their desires / the frame of mind they've become stuck in) fits pretty well, I like it.
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jikyuz · 4 years ago
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♡ what makes treasure jealous + how they would act when they’re jealous ♡ part 1 [part 2]
“Hi can I request some treausure jealousy headcanons? Like what would make them jealous and how they would act when they are. Thank you!✚♄” - anon
a/n: i tried a new format so lmk what yall think ^_^ i hope you like it! <3 - bee
♡ hyunsuk ♡
what makes him jealous
even though he is the oldest and quite mature, i think he does get jealous quite easily
like somebody strikes up a conversation with you? he feels a small tinge of jealousy
i feel like he wouldn’t get jealous of your friends or his friends but rather he gets jealous when strangers interact with you
like the members hug you a lot and love talking to you when you are around but hyunsuk never feels jealousy
but if a store employee starts chatting with you while you are grocery shopping or if you’re out on a date and some stranger starts acting flirting with you and you don’t notice it, he gets jealous
how he acts when he’s jealous
he gets extra loud when he’s jealous
like a stranger starts to act flirty while you two are on a date?
“hey baby, should we order a desert for the two of us to share?” or “wow you you so stunning in this light i should take a picture.”
tries to make it obvious he is your boyfriend
and if that doesn’t work
directly introduces himself as your boyfriend
“oh hi, i’m hyunsuk, y/n’s boyfriend, nice to meet you!”
if he isn’t with you though, and he hears someone tried flirting with you/asking you out, hyunsuk kinda gets a little pouty
“of course they would, you’re perfect! but you’re my baby, right?”
asking not really in a ‘possessive’ way but more as a reassurance to himself
♡ jihoon ♡
what makes him jealous
i feel like jihoon is along the same lines as hyunsuk
he doesn’t get jealous when you are being touchy with friends but rather he doesn’t like when strangers flirt/are touchy with you and you don’t immediately reject them
but opposite to hyunsuk, jihoon feels jealous when he notices someone staring at you
before the stranger even comes up to strike up a conversation
jihoon is a little jealous
you might not know why jihoon was acting weird
until you see the stranger that is staring at you intensely
and then you understand
how he acts when he’s jealous
again, i feel like he’s similar to hyunsuk
he will insert himself into the conversation you were having with the stranger and introduce himself as your boyfriend
but i feel like he’s a bit more straightforward than hyunsuk
like if jihoon feels like the stranger is getting too touchy or if they directly ask you on a date jihoon will get super protective
puts one hand on your waist and smirks at the stranger
“i couldn’t help but notice you were being a little too flirty with my significant other.”
if a stranger is just staring at you, it depends on the situation
if you don’t notice, jihoon might just shoot the stranger a look and hope it works
if you notice and are uncomfortable, jihoon will go up to the stranger and tell them to stop staring at his significant other
♡ junkyu ♡
what makes him jealous
i really can’t place what exactly would make junkyu jealous
i think it really depends on his mood
if he is feeling really energetic/extroverted then i don’t think he would get super jealous
but if was tired/upset/sad then he would get jealous fairly quickly/often
the main thing that would make him jealous would be physical touch
if someone hugs you a little too long then junkyu would start to feel a little jealous
also one to get jealous when you’re with your/his friends and you give them all of your attention
how he acts when he’s jealous
gets silent when he’s jealous
also a little more touchy if you’re with friends
gives you a back hug, strokes your waist, plays with your fingers
but if you are chatting with a stranger and they start getting flirty and you don’t recognize it
junkyu just walks away and tries not to think about the situation
also really doesn’t like admitting he is/was jealous
“no, i’m okay!” and “go have fun, love, don’t worry about me.”
but eventually he just sighs and admits he was jealous
“okay, okay. i was jealous. i just didn’t like how that person was looking at you.”
♡ yoshi ♡
what makes him jealous
mostly gets jealous with words
if someone uses a cheesy pick up line on you and you laugh he gets a little jealous
because he wants to be the only one to make you laugh like that
if someone gives you a ton of compliments and overdoes the flirty words
yoshi feels a lot of jealousy
it’s only if you are oblivious to the flirting and continue on in the conversation with the stranger that he gets really jealous
how he acts when he’s jealous
100% the silent jealous type
doesn’t intend to but gives you the silent treatment for a short while after the incident happens
if you are out at a store and someone starts being flirty with you
yoshi just walks away silently 
partly because he doesn’t want to think about it
and partly because he’s not sure what to do
should he say something? should he be obvious that he’s your boyfriend?
but he isn’t one to deny his jealousy because he knows communication is the most important thing in a relationship
“hey darling, i didn’t like how that person was talking to you. i got jealous, i’m sorry.”
♡ jaehyuk ♡
what makes him jealous
i feel like jaehyuk gets more annoyed than jealous
not at you ofc
but at the person trying to flirt with you, touching you, etc.
i also feel like he might get a little jealous when you’re with the members
not that he thinks they will take you from him
but because if you come over and spend more of your time with them than him
he feels a little needy for attention
the only time jaehyuk gets super jealous is when, like asahi, someone touches you in a way he thinks is romantic/too much and you don’t brush them away/notice it
how he acts when he’s jealous
when a stranger touches you in a way that makes you uncomfortable
jaehyuk will 100% give the stranger a slight nudge out of the way
“hey, you’re making my significant other uncomfortable, stop.”
tries to look intimidating but most likely just tries to be polite but stern
if you’re with the members and he’s feeling needy for attention
he just comes up to wherever you are and gives you a back hug/kiss on the cheek/etc.
and inserts himself in the conversation
he doesn’t mind you being friends with his members
but he likes when he is included as well
♡ asahi ♡
what makes him jealous
i don’t think asahi gets jealous much tbh
unless maybe someone touches you in a romantic/suggestive manor
like an arm around your shoulder or hand on your lower back
then i feel like he would get really jealous
but if someone is verbally flirting with you
like pick-up lines/asking you out on a date/etc
he might be a little annoyed but not jealous
bc he trusts you and knows you will reject them
how he acts when he’s jealous
if someone touches you like i mentioned above then prepare yourself for clingy and touchy asahi
he will probably push himself between you and the person touching you
puts his arm around your waist or comes up behind you to give you a backhug
depends on the situation but will probably insert himself in the conversation
tries to get you away from the person flirting with you
“hey sweetheart we should get going” or “what’cha up to, sweetheart?”
but if you are visibly uncomfortable, asahi goes full on protective boyfriend
“hey they aren’t comfortable with you touching them like that. back off.”
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b612sunsets · 3 years ago
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Ahhh I’m happy to see someone else loving The Devil Judge - it truly is amazing đŸ˜­đŸ˜­đŸ–€âœš I love Yo-Han and Ga-on’s relationship I swear let them be destructive together!
I hate waiting for new episodes so please tell me one of your theories, it can be about anything! đŸ„°
Right?! I love it so much, it's really good to have our lilttle fam getting bigger, can't wait until it airs on Netflix, we will have even more people going crazy about it in here! (at least I hope it will become a Netflix series after the show ends like Beyon Evil - another love of mine) and yes, lawful husbands can be destructive together but only to the bad people pls đŸ„ș
It's tough waiting for new episodes every weekend and at the same time I wish for it not to end so soon. It hasn't finished but I already want Jisung and Jinyoung in a second season or working together in another drama. Their chemistry on screen is too good to stop there
About the theories, there's a few I saw on reddit/twitter and I make my own based on it and after watching every episode, but I think it's too early to talk about them. However, since you requested it, there's some that come to mind as interesting enough to mention.
The fire and the story behind it narrated by Yohan
1- Some people think Yohan did start the fire because he found out about the dirty politicians real intentions and decided to destroy them all in the same place before Isaac could donate the money bc he is "a devil" and capable of that since he was a kid as told by the priest with the school incident and the nanny with the maid and dog thing. side note: not for pranking some kids who bullied him because that's all it seems like, right? But in terms of observing, thinking strategically and being one step ahead when needing to punish the whole classroom who wronged him even as young as he was and feeling satisfied while watching the result and staying out of it. A type of mentality probably encouraged by Isaac and the books he gave him to read, unlike a regular kid who would just fight back or endure it. And we still have to see if it really was Yohan that contributed to the maid's death or if it was something/someone else and the nanny thinks it was him.
They think that Elijah even saw him in front of the door right before the fire started and smiled at him instead of smiling at her parents, like she did in the gates of the cathedral in the previous scene, so that's why she hates him so much now because she can remember seeing him as the responsible for it. But Yohan didn't intend to kill/hurt Isaac and the rest of the family, thinking he could save them or something, and felt guilty that he couldn't do so. Some even said that Yohan delayed too much in trying to save them after entering the church and seeing Elijah getting her legs hurt, that it may have been shock but why would he remember everything and everyone so clearly if he was in shock?
It's a good theory but I have my own remarks: why wouldn't he tell Isaac about the politicians himself if he knew the dirty about them then? They had a close relationship and Isaac gave him books about punishment and everything, it wasn't like Isaac was too naive and wouldn't believe his half-brother. He wouldn't have donated if Yohan told him. "Oh he was being the devil and finding a way to punish them instead of just letting is slide and not donating" still, Yohan wouldn't risk Isaac and Elijah with such a dangerous plan if he could avoid having Isaac and Elijah at all in the destruction scene by telling Isaac about it. It could have been shock and Yohan wanting to look and commit to mind everyone's face in that day responsible for hurting his niece and not caring about anyone else but themselves, pushing him away and delaying his attempt to get to them in time, leaving Isaac and the family behind (after they almost donated them their money) and things like that. So he can avenge them now, like he did in the school with the kids. That's why as soon as he could, he canceled the donation in the most easy way by saying his brother wasn't sane enough to make that decision before dying.
There's also the theories about Isaac being the insane/evil one, which wouldn't surprise me because I've considered it since episode 3 but at the same time I'll not be touching that topic now and I don't know if I ever will unless proven otherwise in some other episode
2- The other theory I have and saw people discussing (the one I'm most inclined to believe because I'm Yohan biased but again it's too soon to be sure) is that the story Yohan narrated is mostly if not completely true and he experiences extreme guilt for not coming back and saving Isaac when the church collapsed on him, as seen in the character introduction by tvN translated in this tweet that we now know it's about Isaac:
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The last words Yohan said to Isaac was that he was going to come back for him, so he experiences nightmares like the flashbacks we saw in episode 1 and that's why we don't see any scene of Isaac in the middle of the church after the fire staring at Yohan or during the fire and turning to stare directly at Yohan when he narrates it. Because they're dreams and his guilty conscience and he remembers them when looking at Gaon. The flashback of Yohan kneeling down and touching Isaac with Elijah's bear close to him could be after he got Elijah out from there and he went back to put the bear next to him kinda like a "Sorry for not coming back in time", a reassurance that his daughter for whom he died for is safe and will always stay with him, a "Goodbye". He wouldn't just let Isaac's body lying there, he would go back even if it was too late.
Another thing is that when Yohan is showing Gaon his scar after telling the story, there's a book fallen at his feet. I think it was the thing that fell when Yohan standed up from the table and choked Gaon (trying hard not to comment on that choking scene as a đŸ”„ Gahan moment for our delight and imagination bc that's not the point right now lol)
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This is the book:
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And the first page of this book says "Never again will a single story be told as though it's the only one." - John Berger
I searched about it and it can mean that never again will a story be told as if it's the only one that matters. It could also mean that never again will a story be so encompassing of the elements it tackles that no other story need be written about these elements. A story has many perspectives that cannot be understood by just a single viewpoint. Isn't that what this kdrama is all about?
One of the translations of what Yohan said after Gaon left was:
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But there's also another version:
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The meaning of what he said changes a bit depending on which translation is more accurate, more so when we add the book quote to the equation.
Kim Gaon and his connection to Kang Yohan
People think Gaon could be Isaac's relative in some way or just a look alike (I think it's just a look alike to contribute to Yohan's obsession/curiosity and their proximity from the start, that's why no one really comments on it, not even Gaon when he sees Isaac's picture). Dear God, let them not be related because it would make shipping our lawful husbands really strange, to say the least.
What I'd like to say and almost everyone is forgetting is that in the tvN character introduction we already have Gaon's past and know he wasn't always a goody two shoes, the man was a juvenile delinquent and can even fight (the rebellious phase he said he made the tattoo in episode 3?). He too sought revenge for his parents when he was 16 because they committed suicide after losing their money and being deceived by multi-level con artists posing as social service workers. But the teacher and Soohyun were able to hold him back.
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Yohan's father could be one of the reasons for their death. He was a loan shark and might have lend them money after they lost it all and it caused them to have a great debt, that's why Yohan did a thorough research on Gaon and was interested in him (not only because he resembled his half-brother). They shared one enemy in common and maybe even a place (churches, Yohan's father tended to confess his sins in a church when his debtors killed themselves). Or Yohan might have researched about him at the time he knew Gaon was chosen to be the associate judge sitting on his left side instead of way before, because it's important to Yohan to know who he is dealing with and the dirty of their past if they have any. And then Yohan discovered everything and saw his picture and resemblance to Isaac.
The thing is: they have the same distrust/repulsion of powerful people who deceive the world and had a painful loss because of that. Both of them think they have the other exactly where they want but they get more confused about what it is that they really want from the other and get closer (as said in the summary of episode 5 that tvN released) while figuring it out. They will come to an understanding and probably join forces at some point. We saw it in the end of episode 4, the scene of episode 5 when Gaon says he can understand Yohan's pain but can't trust him if he doesn't tell him everything and then Yohan says Gaon needs to decide if he will get in his way or stay by his side. Gaon might go back to his rebellious days and stay with Yohan to seek revenge together while distancing himself from Soohyun and Jungho who prevented him from doing so
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And that's about it! Thank you for your ask and hope my answer is satisfying enough! 💙 The hardest but also most awesome part is having to wait to see.
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