#broken.

[syndeticart]

Trying to hold it together.

[beregosts]

[ lips ] sender caresses receiver's lips with their fingertip.

their truce has been extended since that night in rivington. the mutual decision, their shared effort, has never been voiced aloud or so much as acknowledged, but arlis does not doubt that this stalemate is felt. her attention is divided so many ways already, split and scattered and demanded until there is nothing left in reserve, that she's grateful for it.

things are simpler when they're not at each other's throats, both figuratively and literally in that way only they can manage.

it's become something of a routine, their conversations in the early hours of the morning when most of her companions have yet to stir. his mind keeps him from his rest, her body from her own. tonight, they've lapsed into a shared, comfortable silence before the inn's hearth. tonight, it's easy enough that it almost reminds her of all those years ago, all those nights spent plotting in his office over the affairs of the lower city, this gang and that guild and some alley. it all seems so painfully insignificant now that the world will be shaped by one of them.

but not both, never both. there is no ending in which they endure together. worlds are not meant to be shared: it will only be one of them at the end.

she's pulled from her somber thoughts by the recognition that enver is staring very intently at her, dark gaze gleaming against the dying fire before them. she leans forward to stir the embers before arching a brow.

"something on your mind?"

he huffs a breath somewhere between amusement and annoyance in response, but his gaze does not shift. her other brow arches as she adjusts the blanket over her lap.

"you're peering, enver."

his hand lifts unexpectedly and moves towards her cheek. she thinks of moonrise, of the chill of that terrible gauntlet against her skin, but this time his fingers pause just they reach her. once the initial confusion passes, arlis realizes he is asking for permission. (another recognition, she did not flinch. not this time.)

slowly, cautiously, she leans forward into his outstretched palm. he looks her over in the dying firelight, tracing each of her features carefully with his gaze, but there is something different in his eyes than at the towers. she had felt a bruised sum of tattered parts then, frayed and lacking. it had been easy to recognize the cruel bemusement, that harsh curiosity when he'd taken in the dark shadows beneath her eyes and the pallor of her skin. now? she isn't certain what she senses in him now, except he touches her with a care she hadn't thought him capable of.

"it's gone from you, all that shadow. not even a trace left." his voice is a murmur. she thinks she detects the faint sheen of admiration. "death didn't suit you, arlis."

but his hand does not retreat from her, nor does she retreat from his hand.

they're still and they are close enough now that she can smell the leather and oak imbuing his clothes, the warmth of coriander intermingled. she is afraid to breathe, afraid to move lest this strange, delicate thing shared between them be shattered. after all, it occurs to arlis that she does not want it to end.

finally, enver's thumb travels feather-light down the slope of her cheek to the corner of her mouth. she can feel the callouses lining his thumb, rough against delicate lip, but then he moves it so carefully, so gently that her breath hitches in her throat. her eyes flutter shut and she leans forward into his touch. she had always known him to be capable of precision, but this? this is tenderness and tenderness requires more.

his thumb falters, all but trembles when he reaches the bow of her lips, however, and her eyes open once more. for the first time she can remember, he looks uncertain. has his hand forgotten what gentleness feels like, must it relearn after all that cruelty? has it atrophied after all this time, the reflex to touch another kindly?

her fingers lift to reach softly around his wrist not to hold him in place, but rather to steady him, to serve as an anchor. it serves as more than permission. it's offered as a request.

their gazes lock and enver exhales harshly. one final moment's pause, one last chance for them both to turn from what can only spell disaster, abandon this portent that has her pulse quicken behind the cage of her ribs, but then his thumb moves once more and her grip remains.

no matter, some distant part of her thinks, they've both always had a particular talent for escaping fate.

[sa4phire]

one day

i will

have sex

and i

will be

filled

with

love

from

the top

of my energy

body

to

the tips

of my

existence.

one day.

[paradoxolotl]

[third-king-of-salmonids]

SWAM PAST MY OLD JOB TODAY I THINK THEY MISS ME

[bajoop-sheeb]

PLEASE for the love of the universe read anti-colonial science fiction and fantasy written from marginalized perspectives. Y’all (you know who you are) are killing me. To see people praise books about empire written exclusively by white women and then turn around and say you don’t know who Octavia Butler is or that you haven’t read any NK Jemisin just kills me! I’m not saying you HAVE to enjoy specific books but there is such an obvious pattern here

Some of y’all love marginalized stories but you don’t give a fuck about marginalized creators and characters, and it shows. Like damn

[ryan-sometimes]

The MAGA obsession with “proving” Kamala Harris’ race is apparently so bad that BEN SHAPIRO and is like “y’all… wait” 💀

[tuttle-did-it]

David Tennant for Prime Minister, please.

edit- Since this is getting so much attention, edited to include descriptions of screenshots.

This woman has lost her fucking mind.

Jo, are you okay?

[beaft]

i went to get my t-shot yesterday and it took me an hour and a half to get to the clinic and as soon as i got on the bed the nurse dropped my t-shot and it broke and now they're trying to make me pay for the replacement. i think the fuck not lmao

[inksx]

[dappermouth]

Strange and silent angels came to meet you in the field — to circle darkly overhead, to show you where to kneel.

[inkskinned]

you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.

but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.

i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.

so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.

you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."

i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"

"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.

i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.

and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.

you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."

"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."

you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.

i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"

"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."

"do i die?"

you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."

"oh."

"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."

i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.

i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.

"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."

i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.

you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."

"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.

you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."

"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.

i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."

you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."

"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."

"you could always die, to be fair."

i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"

"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."

i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."

"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."

i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"

"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."

i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"

i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.

"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."

you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.

you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.

i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.

[pangur-and-grim]

I’m too gullible with people. I’ll have encounters and be like “aw they seemed nice ☺️” and then everyone around me will be like NONONONONO THAT WAS THE DEVIL!!!!!!!

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

And lemme know your age (if you feel comfortable!), and when you got your first phone in the tags!

If these options are scuffed I'm sorry, I genuinely have no clue how many phones people are "supposed" to have had (hence the poll)

[liloinkoink]

do you wanna try your luck at the wild life session 5 trivia questions?

well now you can! i gathered all the questions we came up with into a pair of google forms so that you guys can try your hand at the same trivia questions the CCs did!

quizmaster's questions from session 5

we tried to have a good amount of questions for every player and season. we also tried to include only questions we thought at least one person would remember the answer to, especially things we'd seen them bring up recently in their own videos or streams, or big moments that would appear in fanart/animatics that we thought they'd be more likely to remember from seeing in those. we also aimed to include silly questions/answers, or questions/answers we thought people would find entertaining. we wanted players to be able to go to each other and ask each other for help on questions they didnt know the answer to!

but wait! there's more! we also have a form for all the questions which didn't make the cut!

rejected questions

the rejected questions didn't make it due to either being too difficult/niche or being something we did not think any creators would remember, being about a player we already had too many questions for in order to make room for questions about other players, being "stat" or number questions (i.e., "how many times did X die of Y cause?"), having too many names involved in the question or answer (making it hard for players to know who to ask for help), the questions just being wordy, or not being particularly entertaining. fair warning, the rejected questions also were not all fact checked as well as the actual episode questions were, as they didn't go into the actual session

originally our questions were a bit more difficult (we had a lot of questions we didn't necessarily think anyone would remember the answer to), but we were asked to tone it down and have mercy after the unexpectedly high amount of snail carnage (hence why the forms are jokingly names "easy version" and "hard version")

anyway, huge thanks to the rest of the trivia team, @cherrifire, @xmaruu11, @hopepetal, @applestruda, @ink-ghoul, and @cocoabats !!! working with all of you was super fun! and thanks so much to Grian for trusting us with this! this whole thing was a super cool experience and i'm thrilled with how much everyone likes the questions!