paradoxolotl

[paradoxolotl]

shakespeare was ahead of his time

[paradoxolotl]

10pm on a friday. and instead of getting my forgotten laundry from the dryer i am going to make a nectarine crisp. why? because i will be awake anyway and also because i am leaving for a week and my beloved nectarines will go bad in my absence. i could turn up at my parents house with just three nectarines like a normal person but there is nothing normal about me.

come along for another cooking adventure.

[paradoxolotl]

Finally finished this cross-stitch for my sister's birthday next month.

Idk what I did to mess up the letters so they're too far to the right, but I think it still looks good

[paradoxolotl]

this is immensely funny to me

[paradoxolotl]

[paradoxolotl]

you people who write Andreil:

how the fuck did you get that superpower

[paradoxolotl]

whys combat and military gear always got to look so fucking cool when the people wearing them just objectively arent. thats unfair

[paradoxolotl]

I love other writers so much because every writer I've ever met is genuinely and utterly deranged on a level only writers can achieve

[paradoxolotl]

[paradoxolotl]

Your immune system getting weaker when you're stressed has got to be the dumbest stress response ever like oh you've been having a horrible terrible no good week? Let Me Make It Worse.

[paradoxolotl]

“There are no female aliens in our game because we don’t know how to make a female version of this alien” You know that alien you just designed? That male alien? Give it a female voice actor and have characters refer to it as she. That’s it. That’s literally all you have to do 

Make her shorter if you must

Make her BIGGER if you aren’t a coward 

[paradoxolotl]

[paradoxolotl]

re:the nerds post, brava very 2016 reminiscent !!! u have achieved millenial humour oft thought to be lost to time /lh

can’t believe it took me nearly 30 years to be funny

[paradoxolotl]

I’m experiencing regret

The box of nerds: just lift the tab and slide the flaps over to open!

Me, enraged, clawing at the box like an animal: THE FLAPS ONLY SLOW ME DOWN

[paradoxolotl]

The box of nerds: just lift the tab and slide the flaps over to open!

Me, enraged, clawing at the box like an animal: THE FLAPS ONLY SLOW ME DOWN

[paradoxolotl]

All cause of the smut propaganda

That moment when you’re reading fanfics on the job (work is slow, I’m coping) and the biggest fucking reveal just happens but you have to screech into your fist because your door is open and no one can hear you because then they’ll know you’re not doing anything and AHHHHHHHH