#you know something's not right (tm)
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sad: falling out of a hyperfixation
tragic: watching your beloved friends and mutuals fall out of the hyperfixation while you're still in it
#oughhhhhhh#this is about the dca fandom but also about every other strong fixation ive had over the years lol#i know it's normal and inevitable esp for less popular works or minor characters with little canon content#and there's nothing wrong with smaller communities of course those rock#but there’s just something special about getting into something at the same time as a lot of other people all at once#and existing in this chaotic fandom space that's just bursting with creativity and passion#i've been in fandom spaces for as long as some of you have been alive and i've only come across that sort of unbridled joy like#a handful of times at best#it's just a heartbreaking feeling to see real lightning in a jar fandoms like that wither away as people drift away#(understandably so!)#anyway don't mind me i'm just having thoughts#musing about fandoms past as well#that i too eventually moved on from but remember fondly even if im not active in anymore#also my music just aint hitting right so im just sitting in silence which makes me more Contemplative(tm)
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Got mad I was dying in hitman freelancer and had to draw a starling in 47's suit to calm down
powder (the starling above) belongs to @sosadraws, who you should check out (both powder and sosa)
#GOTT right before i finish the level i die#come on#i wasn't originally going to draw powder#but halfway through i was like#you know who would be mad enough to do something like this after sucking#the babygirl (tm)#signalis#signalis fanart#star#starling#star signalis#starling signalis#powder#powder signalis#my art#jay art
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Freylin lovers… all four of you out there…. please talk to me abt them. I will love u forever
#re-inspired by the fanfic I just read of sapphic freylin#SAPPHIC FREYLIN SAVE ME#anyway even if it isn’t sapphic freylin#if you like freylin in any form!!!!!!!! even if not it's necessarily romantic/typically romantic! I need someone to gush about them with#I used to like them a very mild amount once upon a time.....#but then that changed once the Thinking tm started#it's about the themes............ transformation..mostrosity.... understanding each other in a way few others seem able to#about exoneration through the other#which kind of doesn't sound like the right word but I mean it in the sense that exoneration implies the accusation of sin/guilt is flawed#(unlike something like absolve.... which implies forgiveness for sins rather than the fact that there was no sin in the first place)#idk if that makes sense but I hope. the general gist comes across#anyway I have lots of thoughts about them but it will take time to write them all out#but pls tell me someone thinks about them as much as I do#look I know why they aren't a popular ship and I understand. but STILL#I need to know if there are others out there!!!#Freya#Merlin#freylin#bbc merlin
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I don't get why people hate the timeline so much, its not like you can't pretty much completely ignore it when you play the games. The only time it even approaches mattering to the story is when there is an explicit sequel like botw and totk or zelda and zelda 2
Hey sorry your ask got lost in the sauce of my broken tumblr, but: yeah!
I mean, I get why in some sense. It's been a heated point of debate and I think some people understandably resent the space it has taken not only in fandom discourse, but in how people began to understand the game and its narrative aesthetic choices. There is such a thing as over-rationalizing everything to hard logic, and sometimes it's just not the fandom for that --especially when you begin to forget it's all just fan theory and start to forget what the games are supposed to be like and evoke beyond just strict facts displayed in a linear way.
What I think bugs me with TotK in particular is that it both evokes and relies on continuity and the idea of a timeline, of archeology, of history itself, while being so loose and vacant with it that it both is doing Timeline Shit while also completely failing to understand why some parts of the fandom were invested in Timeline Shit to begin with.
But that's just my two cents of course!
#asks#tloz#timeline#totk critical#thanks for the ask!#I do... feel two ways about that myself#I think pure evocation is genuinely one of zelda's greatest storytelling strengths#that mood is sufficient and enough in itself and doesn't always need justification#it is the way the games center story --and that's genuinely wonderful and a strong take on narrative in games#as something freeflowing and accompanying gameplay rather than the opposite#and to ignore that and focus on hard facts all of the time kind of misses the point of the games' stories to a degree#BUT#I also get quite annoyed at the weird condescencion towards fans that do decide to engage with the stories more factually#especially since this is either revelatory regarding some of nintendo's choices#(that the aesthetics of evil are so tied to The Desert TM while taking so many inspirations from european fairy tales for example)#(it's not neutral even if we ignore ingame “lore”)#or just a great fodder for creativity and narrative play#and it is a part of the IP too!! just as much as dungeons and items and musics and curiosity-driven exploration!!#I do have beef with people not resonating with that aspect thinking others that do so are just stupid or childish#and that you can only have an enlightened relationship with zelda if you like it “the right way”#(which is somehow always mechanics/logic-driven which is. interesting to me.)#(or in a completely passively aesthetic way as in “I like fairies they're pretty”)#but you know it's the weird Triforce Shirt Dude stigma thing#that notion that you can (and must!) Love Zelda Deeply and Defensively#but you cannot be *passionate* about Zelda#then it's weird and immature#I don't know I feel like there's a lot to analyze in that arbitrary dychotomy#anyway sorry for the mega novel in the tags!!
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not me reading this definitely m/f romance novel but reading heavily into every interaction between the main character and her best friend…
#and like. don’t get me wrong I love a good m/f romance!!! I picked this one knowing it’s m/f and excited to read it!!!#all I’m saying is. look. she keeps going on and on about how beautiful and chic her bff is and how she knows her bff is a romantic at heart#and hoped her bff eventually finds a great love someday. while contrasting this w/ MC‘s ex lmao. girl I am Getting Vibes#girl you sound like me when I was closeted and I know I’m playing myself reading into it but it could woRK SO WELL#‘she (MC - recently dumped by her ex fiance) came here anxious about possibly running into her first ex - with her best friend in tow - to h#ave a holiday vacation and forget their jilted loves. but what they didn’t expect was for something real and hot to bloom in the arctic nigh#ts under the stars… and in their hearts. but will they admit it to each other? to themselves?’#<- see I have a tagline AT THE READYYY#anyways.#personal#enjoying the book a lot anyway but I have to laugh a bit like. girl (@ author) why write sapphic vibes in the m/f romance novel#the boulder is conflicted#tm tm tm#you can’t just describe your totally platonic best friend as looking ‘stunning’ by noticing the contrast of her outfit hair and lips and the#n describing her laugh poetically noting how her hair falls over her shoulders and saying that ‘’’others’’’ seem ‘transfixed’ by her. girl—#novel is called#christmas at frozen falls#btw#and like it’s very much m/f and marketed as such and as I said I love a good m/f but I am getting Undertones And Vibes and the supposed love#interest is not selling me on his potential so far so I am like. girl your gorgeous ride or die all in best friend is right there!!!#anyways lol
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It's very nice that Lucanis's writer intended him to be on the ace spectrum, I'm happy so many people are thrilled and feel validated by that. Not me though, that's not gonna affect my writing of him in the slightest lol
#if i ever get around to it lol#fascinating how many romance-complainers are crawling out of the woodwork to take back their complaints though#like OH because he's ACESPEC it's totally fine that it was a non-explicit slowburn feat. the world's most traumatized man learning to trust#but when it was JUST the world's most traumatized man learning to trust and let himself care and love y'all pitched a fit#something something the messy and ugly parts of mental illness are still acceptable targets#for people who want to enact cruelty but know aspecs are no longer considered The Acceptable Targets(TM) right now#some people: 'i can excuse ableism but i draw the line at acephobia!' me crunching on popcorn: 'yOU CAN EXCUSE ABLEISM?!'#by apples#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age: the veilguard#da:tv spoilers
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just started reading book 3 in this series and page 1 is taking no prisoners hgdshdslk
#YOURE DAMN RIGHT HES UNDESERVING#for like a solid half of book 2 i was going ''im going to strangle this man''#i think the worst part is how oblivious he is to his own shortcomings#like if he was cruel that would be one thing#but no he just. does not see women as people. and it never occurs to him that there could be anything amiss in his view of the world#krista d. ball said 'this man does not deserve a first name' and she was RIGHT#anyway please read the ladies occult society books by krista d ball if you like regency settings#specifically with a lot of detail. i cant speak to how Historically Accurate(tm) it is but there is clearly SO much care put into all of it#like describing the logistics of having dresses made and suchlike#it reminds me of in little women when they talk about needing new ribbon for a bonnet or something but like More of that. i love it#eliza does a lot of very careful budgeting because she has to#oh uh. content warning for several kinds of abuse. for sure financial & reproductive abuse but possibly other kinds as well#i feel like im not really selling the series here but it is SO interesting#focused on all the little ways women eke out some independence in a society that systematically denies them any#also theres magic#as of the end of book 2 there are bickering lesbian ghosts#im pretty sure anyway. lesbianism not yet confirmed but like. frankly i would be very surprised if theyre not gay#characters who were never married but are still somehow divorced.#i should also say it isnt Romance it is Historical Fantasy#i think there is going to be a romance at some point. but it is definitely not the main focus & it's possible there wont be one#im rooting for mr sidney sinclair at the moment but we dont know him that well yet. he might turn out not to be trustworthy#anyway. good series. enjoying it#bookposting
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*already feral about The Boys s4 leaks/spoilers*
*goes looking for more s4 leaks/spoilers*
*finds a SHIT ton of controversy and drama over one specific set of purported "leaks" re: a certain character (he's not gonna die dont worry)*
*finds someone's VERY long and well-received post, mapping these spoilers onto an arc said character had in the comics*
*reads reviews of the comic arc/spinoff series in question*
*articles keep talking about this one specific shock-and-gore panel that was So Deeply Affecting somehow*
*"....okayyy sure I'll google it"*
*its not THAT gross. I mean its GROSS but not HORRIFYING*
*however the implications of the panel re: certain things that have been changed for the show are. holy shit. holy crap. holy FUCK. oh those are some IMPLICATIONS WHAT THE SHIT*
*HER NAME WAS *WHAT*!?!!!??!*
...I'm going to go lie facedown on the floor and listen to bagpipes nonstop til s4 drops
what the actual fresh fuck
#the boys#hughie campbell#literally an article from ~2011 analyzed (no pun intended) the symbolism of The Panel(tm) re: The Boys comics#and NOW THAT EXACT SAME READING APPLIES IN THE SHOW#*BUT TO A DIFFERENT CHARACTER*#that feeling when you KNOW something's coming but can't tell anyone and can't do anything but sit there. tense. hoping ur wrong#but also kinda wanting to b right#Butcher Please Dont.jpg#vague The Boys s4 spoilers
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The problem with BOTW is that it's obnoxiously popular in the LOZ fandom to the detriment of other games but also unfortunately it's genuinely really really fun to write fanfic for.
#it really hits that perfect fandom balance of good but not THAT good you know#its base is really interesting and you can do a lot with it. there's a lot of freedom to be had playing with its characters and concepts#contrast and compare to Link's Awakening which imo has a way better story and is my most beloved zelda game#but also like. what do i even have to add. how do i write fanfic for it when it has such a great bookend#like i don't even really want to do AUs or change the ending#the reason I like it are the Themes(TM) and changing the story too radically or changing the ending risks losing that#don't get me wrong i can and have written link's awakening fanfic. i am writing link's awakening fanfic right now#but it's a lot harder to come up with concepts bc it already does such a good job with all its stuff#on the other hand botw does not utilize its story potential much yet establishes enough it's fun to expand on#so with link's awakening i'm like ok. how do i put marin in Situations this time when the game's already the best Situation she could be in#and with botw i'm like 'so here's three different link and zelda role reversal AUs'#'this is the one where zelda is transmasc'#'this is the one where urbosa is fighting ganon link is dead and riju and zelda are on a roadtrip'#'and this is the one i'm planning a 40k hubris fic for'#being a fandom hipster is all fun and games until you like something popular#at least i still don't care much about link#my posts#loz#botw
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youtube
Here's a clip comp of all the times MK repeats the things the people around him say! Or at least all of the times I've noticed!
#SO WHEN I SAY MK FUNCTIONS AS A MIRROR#I ALSO MEAN THAT HE LIKE. REFLECTS THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY/DO TO HIM BACK#spent a lil too long on this video but that's okay#when don't I spend too long on something#Update for people invested in my fanfic adventures: my fic is currently at 1.3K!#I should finish up soon#It's a Red Son pov. And MK is NOT okay TM#But that's fine cause we have a Red Son#And he's surprisingly okay at comforting people#It takes place like. RIGHT after the s4 special ends at the beach party#MK and Red Son wind up at the suilian cave#And uh. Obviously things are in disrepair#There's gonna be a convo about the way MK's view of Monkey King has changed the same way Red Son's view of DBK has changed#Just like. Understanding how they actually are rather than the pedestal they originally put the two on you know?#I know myself so it'll probably end on a somber note#But more like. hurt/comfort then it's kinda sad/ominous at the end#I can't believe my first fic is a Red Son pov. Like idk who I thought it would be but I'm surprised it's Red Son#But Red Son is actually a BLAST to write#He's no nonsense but he has his own nonsense. It's great#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk parallels#monkie kid#lmk MK#my videos
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you ever just
#just makes me a little#she goes from essentially begging him to stay alive for the people who care about him (for her)#to having him prove in maybe the most unambiguous possible way that when it comes down to it she means more to him than his revenge#to him looking right at her and saying pretty much the exact opposite#the whiplash but also idk the words vs actions...#more than words he couldn't express his feelings with words so he did it another way#his actions have always shown his truth but she needs his words she needs to hear it from him she needs to know he understands it too#brings me back to s6 (what doesn't tbh) - all their missed opportunities all the times they were interrupted or couldn't find the words#how much weight is given to those words even though at this point it's clear to everyone around them and the audience and even to THEM#(even if they only just realize the full reality of it) how they feel about each other something about the showing and the telling of it#you can't imagine how good that feels to say out loud i needed to get to this and you deserve to hear it did you mean what you said#yes i meant what i said every word of it SAY IT AGAIN#and then little yellow house when it's again clearly such a big deal - to lisbon especially but to them both - for her to SAY it#idk i just love it i love a show that gives me endless opportunities to annoyingly and gleefully overanalyze#tm
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#@ Louis’ avanger anon#honey I wrote something so articulated for you#I won’t ever post it because I think it’s too much to handle#for a person that come in my inbox and talk like you did#I was asking you questions and maieutically try to prove my point#but I think I’ll let it sit in my drafts#and re read it anytime I feel like the bullshit that happened yesterday is cooling down#one thing I’m surprised is that you came to MY blog#looking for an harry’s apologetical blog… and like bestie Idk what to tell#but you’re in the wrong place ☹️#also aren’t you tired to repeat this chant anytime people call idiots with their rightful name? It’s lame at this point#there’s a funny situation for blogs like mine#because I’m louie to harrie larries and im a harrie to louie larries#but im a larrie to the antis! and I don’t get excited with things that most fandom enjoy#and i have many unpopular opinions and noone that supports me when I say controversial things#you know I just get much hate for calling bullshit out when two millionaires that literally make millions to pretend to be who they’re not#(im not talking about their sexuality. it’s more their image tm as a whole)#and I get hate and lose followers for voicing my opinion#so yeah I could do what you say actually#it’s just that I really despise stupidity#and I get very vocal when it shows#moreover when it comes from people I was very closed to idolise.#*close#let me just write my fics in peace now#casella di posta numero 32
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gonna keep it real with you, folks: 'you are allan. that's great!' is the most seen i felt that entire film.
#on the one hand: go bud. give us *nothing*.#on the other: pour one out for the allans#i don't know. there's something about that moment. right.#you don't really fit in the Barbie TM version of Barbieland#you *definitely* don't want to be in the Ken version#and the most you're ever going to get is acknowledgement that you exist (that's great!)#really this also extends to the other discontinued barbies as well#but allan encapsulates it well#don't get me wrong here the movie was fun i was just also looking at this guy and going 'yeah bud. me too.'
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I hate it when it's too quiet (sound proof rooms, headphones over both ears, etc. Spooks me like a horse >:<) and hate it when it's too loud (crowds, construction, etc. annoys the hell out of me). But today I get to be in the the (un)happy medium: headphones with construction right outside the walls (ON the walls. They took off the outside of them and are now stapling stuff to it). I can still hear them, so no horse spook quiet, but it's quieter enough that it's now an annoyance instead of simmering rage. yipeeeeee.
#wizardboops#Plus I'm low on sleep. I'd be taking a nap right now#But you know.#I'm waiting for something at home so I can't just scram yet. So. Pout tm.
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being alive at the time i gleaned some general elements abt encanto but never actually heard we don't talk about bruno beyond awareness it existed popping off & i think i heard like the title recited off key off rhythm but in a way that indicates speak singing nonetheless lol so upon experiencing it it's like oh but it's the Verses? while the last refrain goes harder but prior to that it's comparatively underwhelming to said verses which feels appropriate like verses / pieces of a larger picture & that a "we don't talk about him" as a disappointing Lid on infinitely richer more characterful & dynamic "but: talking about him" instances. like well personally it'd be like um seven foot frame....anyway besides being able to firsthand go like oh damn Real (the kind of thing you know exists if alive at the time) it's like alright hang on lol. one thing when a core theme is yeah like "is it a refuge if 'especial' vulnerability ultimately gets pushed out rather than made safer" subset like the parties whose even observation of truths (problems) & drawing attention to them is seen as Ruining Things, like if you're painted as Making futures that aren't simply what's desired or reassuring rather than a guidance via just observing & sharing the truth. but then it's like whaddaya mean living in fear of bruno stuttering and stumbling you could always hear him sort of muttering and mumbling lmao like now that's just Association between the Truth Perceiving & Telling behavior & behavior that's just apparently distinctive of the same person. & like Not Accidentally when [what if people were magic] specifics are obviously primarily abt a metaphorical meaning & like, indeed it was made clear like oh this situation isn't Just b/c [boo we hate your prophecies] & that [an Ability that isn't directed towards what anyone Wants / is "weird" even by these magic standards] isn't Coincidentally given to someone who just so happens to already be "weird" in other ways & be set up to have a different perspective & be pushed away due to having the supposed "extra" vulnerability of unmet needs / insufficient support, same as someone who doesn't "correctly" have any kind of magic ability....like yeah banger and also like Oh Yeah Kind Of Devastating re: that metaphorical resonance allowing for like [set the metaphor aside] now hang on with this about this disabled family member lol. misinterpretation to The Ruinerrr / The Problemmm / The Maliciousss etc (i.e. the scapegoatinggg) despite their efforts likely entirely to the contrary. then despite like, efforts aside, Just Existing, always kind of muttering & mumbling like & what of it. & then like oh sorry weird pets. weird [auspicious for adaptable tenacious thriving surviving; either way simply creatures, existing] pets.
truly like As Is The Idea I'm Sure quickly becomes like hands behind back standing at the window Uh Oh Sisters musing on all the [disabled person] metaphorical & already literal elements there. blair witching it in contemplation like We've All Been There whether being so resented for the mere disruption of "existing in a group as the 'abnormal' odd one out" or like people talking shit abt anything associated w/you as soon as you've left the room, which is also made relevant like, this wasn't Only directed at this person when seemingly permanently gone, nor were they unaware / unaffected prior....pacing in the Musing parlor like things don't Have to be compared to billions but i only ever even see so many things & it's like billions sure is like "get scapegoated rword" & then said scapegoating is presented as only beneficial & we hate autists & even beyond that it's like, grabbing billions, Imagine If Things Meant To Be About Something Were About Something. quite a contrast when they are & furthermore like, deliberate thought & Care for [who gets scapegoated & why] & the truth of like, people getting pushed aside & out who have a key perspective & are primed / liable to come through for others similarly vulnerable & the supposedly Ruinous, Problems Generating disruptiveness is actually the strongest effort to make essential changes to a group. & come through with like, it'd be undermining thee point if it was "reassuring" us like oh haha people will be supportive b/c bruno will be more normal, so great that it Didn't like no, no Normality Reassurance(tm), presence of abnormalities(tm), Good, & everyone Can Deal b/c if you don't then it's pushing this person away, is exactly what happens, including even if they're still Around but are being mistreated b/c that is entirely part of that pushing away like anyone's victim blaming is ready to pounce at any time but if someone can't stand to stay / leaves b/c they can't see another option like that's not out of nowhere nor Regardless of what full support & flexibility they were getting lol. these Active Measures everyone loves so much, which are everywhere always & would include Staying & Trying To Make It Work & those efforts would be "disruptive" & resented & Bringing It On Oneself & etccc smh
that is to all say like. Woww when clearly basically the core thread was these beats of like, the crucial site of [thee scapegoated], & why that comes down on someone & how that plays out. endless ideas about how someone weird(tm) & disabled (&/or queer. but there's no Or here lol. & again like it's a Context like, to even be the one person without kids? likely not living up to "full" correct sexuality in that way alone; any oppression's logics of "inferiority" being logics of ableism, ready examples being that "inferior" race, gender, sexuality (& their experiences as people classed as inferior) all being pathologized as disordered) are seen & treated as someone Ruining Things & who cannot belong like whew. bracing. winding. which, i also recall like i was watching with headphones & during this one dialogue pause i was like "?? what's this Extra Sound i heard there" & had to go over it like twice before being hit upside the head like well it Was still the dialogue pause but it was also bruno Stuttering in a very quiet whisper for the duration of that pause before continuing like iiiiiiii x_x
#[sitting waiting right here] for billions to have its vulnerable weird scapegoated misfit outcasts actually band together lmao....#like Sure Doesn't b/c billions is like we all hate weirdos & we all love telling them to shut tf up & go away to die or w/e. correctly#can't believe ultimately the Different fund disappears w/o its scapegoat & the Correct ''weird'' char is full axe cap mode finally#& it's sure not a Comment when billions affectionately gives them their free heavenly reward & Ensure zero scapegoating consequences#the [imagine if something about something was about something] approach to Banished Relatives being thoughtful & loving like#& here you see how even As they're banished everything isn't Really fixed for it incl. that people aren't Really just happy he's gone#billions is like no we killed him And everyone has gladly & legitimately forgotten he exists (save the instant it's time to use him)#the hilarious(tm) tragedies surrounding rian like billions' can't make her ''care'' abt winston be anything save more violence#can't pretend rian was anything more than [again we all Know your nads like w/taylor like w/winston] bagina + dialogue source combo in s6#when it's still dimly relevant for prince in s7 but you miss Nothing re: rian if you have no idea that plotline exists#& speaking of actual ''weirdness'' rian was never allowed to have: the tragedy of the tension of Closeted Transness present on screen fr#just as billions has no idea / further willingness to let rian be so ''weird'' as to actually care abt winston or abt not being a bully Lol#meanwhile i figured like oh i'll like a scapegoat. did know ahead of time like bruno's just some guy; not even ''redeemable'' antagonist#but In Practice & w/all that beloved Disabledness & crucial appreciation like you Need this guy; the understanding is Key#like well ofc i would kill for him. ofc just constant like mhm go off king slay fire etc. god tier character cherished forever thanks#but then also like im sure a zillion [intention; inspiration; thoughts] going into Tfw Family Things characters; a zillion interpretions &#thoughts to follow like it truly is Arresting like this clarity on A Disabled Person In The Group like. much much to consider & whew.#reference point like when autistic ppl in some job see an obvious [problem to future mess] pipeline; so you know bruno madrigal. My Vision#When You're So Hated like hey i wanna live unseen w/my so hated little friends lol. just reread how to disappear completely never be found#when it's like grabbing people Who Cares if someone's being ''obviously'' disabled or weird just as how they are existing godddd#people get so mean like Who Cares just talk to them; be around them. some effort some mind your own business some You're Not Above Them#when it's obviously You like yeah. nonzero but limited applicability like [specifically my own nuclear family] but re: Weird; Disabled#as ever i'll Relate & be like but i probably seem nothing like that. or maybe i am very much like that. kind of difficult to tell b/c like#you Do get the disinterest lol & feedback is Not that familiar / in depth even if positive like well. the emergent So Hated / Scapegoating#noting like if a character just seems refreshingly familiar; Understood; comfortable; fun; what's the odds they're cishet allistic lol....#anyway the epiphany like oh it was figurative blink & you miss it stuttering....did [waiiit] Pace that one off like inhaaale Waugh#in fact i'm sure the Verbalizing Effort has staved off the kind of [thinks about all of it a moment] to go Aauughhh about again#which; again; also something happening 5 yrs in re: the clairvoyant soothsayer autistic neuroqueer quant on the show w/No Thoughts abt it#ppl being invalidated by others having to validate themselves (& others in the same boat); billions going & How We Hate Them For It lol#oh & encanto's [excluded party's effort to partake] tragedy vs billions' [where's winston in this office? this event?] good riddance idc
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guh
#oh yeah this lil idea you’re having right now in bed come on. write it. just a lil TM fic. 1k words maximum. easy. low maintenance#me 7 hours later: 😐😐😐😐#how do people write fics in one sitting. crazy to me.#anyway i thinkkkkk it’s about halfway done. it’s not good. but its something#some weird sad pathetic somno dry humping. you know#chatter
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