#you know he grows to love the dang rat

[141trash]

Okay okay hear me out. Established relationship with Price. He's getting ready to leave for a while and he makes a comment about getting you a dog or something for protection.

Cut to months later. he returns in the middle of the night and is just ready to crawl into bed next to you when in the darkness he hears a growl. He turns on the lamp at the bedside to see a tiny fluffball curled up on his side of the bed glaring at him.

"John?" you mumble lifting your head to gaze sleepily at him.

"Its me. What the hell is that thing?" he points at the dog.

"That's Monster. y'told me to get a dog." you say, curling your arm over the sweet little puppy you adopted while he was gone.

He snorts in disbelief as the dog soaks up your sleepy affection, "That is a rat. I meant a big dog. one that could protect you."

"She protects me just fine. Don't you Monster? Don't be mean."

[just-3d-mario-things]

Verdict: I liked it!

The Super Mario Bros. Movie was absolutely a love letter to fans. Yeah, I’ll admit that if you didn’t grow up with Mario, there’s not much for you in terms of story. It’s your basic Family Member Goes Missing, gotta save them and also Save The World I Guess kinda movie. I won’t give a comprehensive review, but I’ve got some thoughts about it :)

Positive

- Deep cuts! Foreman Spike from Wrecking Crew, as well as Charles Martinet cameoing as classic Mario’s design, was a nice touch

- Yeah, it’s an isekai, but isekais aren’t inherently bad. Mario has a lot of different continuities, and in some it is an isekai. They obviously care a lot about the Super Show, doing the jingle and all. They manage to respect their audience’s intelligence, and don’t provide much exposition (which is awesome!)

- Diversity! There were so many Mario enemies and races in the movie, it was great. Shyguys kidnap Luigi, Dry Bones chase him through a swamp reminiscent of Luigi’s Mansion, the penguins from 64 have their own kingdom, all kinds of Koopas and Spinies make appearances, Goombas look like Goombas, there are like a hundred unique Kong designs, and we get a Luma! I’m not sure if it’s meant to be Lumalee or not, though they do bear a striking resemblance to them. The writers did their homework.

- The jokes for we the fans were genuinely pretty funny. There’s a part when Mario is fighting DK and has only tried one type of Power Up thus far, a regular mushroom to make him bigger. Mario grabs a blue Mini Mushroom, unaware of its effects. The audience gets to see Mario triumphantly grab the mushroom, thinking it’ll make him stronger. There’s a good moment for the audience members who know exactly what’ll happen, but those unaware of the Mini Mushroom won’t until it happens and Mario goes tiny.

- A good Power Up selection! I was afraid only the Fire Flower would be used, but we got Cat Mario, Tanooki Mario, Fire Peach and DK, Ice Flower Peach, and Super Star Mario and Luigi. Here’s hoping the sequels will use Bee Mario, Penguin Suit Mario, and Frog Mario. Oh! And the Feather Cape is kinda cameoed in their plumbing commercial, when they’re posing on the stools wearing capes. That was pretty neat.

- A solid mix of games’ soundtracks and elements. I didn’t notice much from Sunshine unfortunately, no FLUDD or Bowser Jr or anything. Come to think if it, does Bowser Jr exist in this continuity? How about the Koopalings? Evidence of Ludwig exist: the piano Bowser plays is Ludwig von Koopa brand, which was really funny.

- Bowser. Bowser Bowser Bowser. I think he was perfect, honestly. We all knew it when Jack Black stepped up to the plate, but seeing the piano scenes. And him dressed in his suit with the top hat. Man. I’m so glad they went for a mix of dopey lovesick Bowser from Odyssey and super powerful firebreath Bowser from Galaxy. I really like that if you censor his Peaches song correctly, you could make it sound like he’s saying “bitches”, which is objectively funny. No bitches :’(

- The Jungle Kingdom was a super fun segment. Literally a rollercoaster. I really enjoyed the showdown between DK and Mario, the sound effects and music were on point. They play the opening riff that plays in the original Donkey Kong when he bends the girders, and then. The DK rap plays. It was so unexpected that I had to laugh aloud. DK uses it as like his personal anthem, kinda like how professional wrestlers have a signature song they play when they come out into the ring. The unique Kongs were really cool to see too, like in the stands and the dude who drives them into the kingdom. At one point Diddy in the stands has the bongoes from Donkey Konga, it’s all a blast.

- Speaking of, Seth Rogen’s DK is surprisingly strong. Like, dang, I didn’t expect the “Seth Rogen laugh” to actually fit DK’s character, but it does!

- Okay, fine, Crisp Rat did a passable job. I never forgot it was him, but they eased into the voice by having him do a fakey Italian voice at the beginning. Still waiting on the dub featuring English cast + Italian dub Mario with no subtitles. Considering how low in content the story is, it would be a perfectly fine movie if you muted him completely :)

- The animation! I mean, you’ve seen the trailers, this is the best work Illumination has done, no question. I really like how they partially modelled the characters after their VAs. Bowser is just dripping with Jack Black’s chaotic energy, and Luigi and Mario are eerily reminiscent of Charlie Day and Crisp Rat despite being 100% Luigi and Mario. Toad is pretty solid as well, Key does a really good Toad voice without it being incredibly grating. Jack Black’s smile and Parks & Recreation-era Crisp Rat seem to be some inspiration behind the way they emote.

- Peach is pretty good. I like her voice, Anya Taylor Joy understood the assignment. She isn’t too “girlboss-y”, and she’s actually kind of a weirdo. I love that for her. Makes sense, she was raised by Toads and all. She only brings Mario along to help him, and she isn’t really saved by him at all. She’s delightfully pink and pretty, and oooh her wedding dress, Fire Flower dress, and Ice Flower Dress are all soo pretty. Like seriously, I want that wedding dress. She only gets to hover exactly once during the training montage, and she doesn’t get her parasol, but otherwise I quite liked her. She doesn’t have any groundbreaking character development or anything, or even much for flaws, but she’s just peachy in my opinion :)

- I think the Question Blocks serving as Toad ATMs was really funny. Also, I liked that Pauline was on the TV in Brooklyn. And the brothers’ family was fun to see, they absolutely captured the Italian-American family dynamic. Also, acknowledging the white gloves was pretty funny. We got to see Mario’s actual hands, too, which was… unsettling. Luigi’s ringtone is the Gamecube startup sound, Mario’s playing Kid Icarus on his home TV, Satoru Iwata features in the credits, and the little retro shop in the Mushroom Kingdom was neat. I feel like they referenced all throughout Mario’s history, unlike the Sonic movies where they only focused on the golden years of the Genesis games (no shade to the Sonic movies, I actually really liked them too)

- Oh the score. Ohhhh the score. Just… the score. Not enough Galaxy rep, but it’s forgiven. They use the themes from Mario games so well, it’s actually incredible. Just, like, go watch it and see how many you can recognize. I think I got most of them, though I wish they used the Wii Rainbow Road music since that’s the RR I’m most familiar with. Ah, well. I’m not sure if they used a Mario Kart theme for that scene or nor, someone who’s played the other Mario Karts will have to tell me

Negative

- crisp rat >:(

- Lack of Sunshine rep :( I can’t remember if there were any musical references, but I didn’t detect any, anyway. No Shadow Mario, Bowser Jr, Piantas, or FLUDD. Maybe we’ll get to Isle Delfino in the sequel?

- No Funky, Birdo, Rosalina, Daisy, Wario, or Waluigi. I can’t expect to get all of the fun side characters, but when I saw the Kong kingdom and the Luma I had a few shreds of hope that Funky and Rosa would show. I have a feeling Miyamoto doesn’t really like Wario/Waluigi, which is fair but sad. There wasn’t much room for Daisy and Birdo since the movie was so quick-paced. With the Yoshi egg teased at the end, it is possible Birdo will appear in the sequel? Maybe? And since it is an isekai, it’s revealed that no humans are native to the Mushroom Kingdom/Peach’s world, so maybe Daisy just doesn’t fit in this narrative. Ah, well.

- I have a feeling other reviews will remark on this, but Cranky is kinda weak :( I expected him to get better dialogue/direction, since I think Fred Armisen is generally a good actor. He just wasn’t… cranky enough? I dunno. Every time he spoke, I just pictured a voice actor in a booth instead of Cranky Kong.

- The story was… a Shigeru Miyamoto story. That is, no real intense story beats. They don’t really try anything new, but hey. You don’t walk into the Mario Movie expecting Miyazaki, y’know? It was all a bit too fast-paced for me, but I get it, it’s better than senseless filler. Illumination likes cheap movies, so the short runtime might cover for the quality animation.

- The licensed songs aren’t abysmal, but I wish there were fewer where Mario songs could have taken their place. I dunno, as much as I love Take on Me, I feel like there’s a better song out there for introducing the Jungle Kingdom.

Aaand those are my thoughts! I have more, but I’m sleepy and it’s 1:58 AM for me at the mo’. I’m sure I’ll be MarioMovie Posting in the future :)

[karltface]

Guess what time it is.

Extra fortified! And rather hefty at that; this should be interesting.

Natural Wonders comes first, and needs multiple groupings. The growing rat is grey, so that'll sit well with the white one. Old Diplodocus is always fun, as are the cheesy 90s black critters. Frogs are charmingly vintage, but I must call attention to that lovely blue lizard. It's an incredibly floppy jiggler of some sort, but damned if I can place it.

And then there's bug friends. More 90s critters, a couple colorful beetles, and a gat-dang copepod! I'm leaving the flash on that one, though. Too fragile.

Here's a fun mix. Couple spaceships, a handful of milk caps with slammer, and far too many Madballs pop beads. I'm running out of ways to drape these on stuff. Nah, they're fun. My Krusher looks like a rainbow Hollywood Hogan.

Peeps! Speaking of Hogan, that's clearly him on the left there. I think it's Neptuneman, actually. But still. He and Asuraman are helping drunk Gumby stay up, while some manner of ogre walks his Bizarro Pokeys. A very impressive astronaut is done with their crap.

You bet we're still going! There's always a healthy dose of spookitude in these, and this is quite a pile of buttons. They're the GeneriCo sort I've reviewed before, and always a fun giveaway if you know a lot of Halloween people. The keychain skeleton is younger than the pocket clip duder by about 10 years, but they have equal charm.

Munch Bunch strikes again! I'm starting to think this was a double box, due to issues on one end or the other. I always forget these things. Anyway, I like to sneak these onto pens wherever I go. That one still looks sinister in yellow.

Another oddball mix: the eye, which I took to be a standalone item, is in fact Oculus Orbus, or rather the knockoff counterpart thereof, like the green suction-cup faces here. So that's fun. Stacking totems are cool, the rings are always a hit, and the slime heads prove kids have always dug that stuff. A sticker and classic gag round out the good times.

It's been Greasy, folks.

[ayuki-ikuya]

Dorms and Archons

Twisted Wonderland x Genshin Impact

Part 2 of 2

Part 1

Dendro Archon

The Recluse Scholar

𝓚𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓶 𝓐𝓵-𝓐𝓼𝓲𝓶

Kalim was excited to have a new friend! Oh the parties they'd have! The fun! The food!

When he met you, you were... distant. Did he do something wrong? Did he upset you?

He really did try to find out what he did wrong, and often sent you invitations (Malleus eyeing the invitations) you some of the parties he makes, but you don't show up nor reply, making him sadden.

Jamil low key face palming

During a normal sunny day at school, he and Jamil headed to the library to grab some books, and during the process, he found you, tucked in a corner with mountains, upon mountains of books around you, and you? You were reading.

"Ah? S/o??"

"HEEEEK!!!!"

he startled you so badly that plants from outside grew. which of course caused a commotion.

Kalim apologised for startling you, but he asked a question about your attendance, your reply was to fiddle with your sleeves before answering with a small voice that you were afraid of people despite being a deity.

Kalim immedietly thought of Idia, but he crossed the line of no return, but Kalim smiled warmly, held your hand, making you choke, and said a more softer voice that he'd throw a smaller party, just the three of them. (Don't tell me you forgot Jamil, HE MAKES THE DANG FOOD)

You accepted.

Several parties later, you two were unsurprisingly in love with each other that the students of NRC were rolling their eyes at the moments the two shared. COULD YOU TWO DATE ALREADY!?!?

When you two started dating, Kalim made a celebration, but kept you in a more secluded section, that way you could be apart of it, but not near a large crowd of people. And you were thankful for it.

As a couple, Kalim practically adores you. And he's super affectionate too! Jalim is glad to have someone more tameable and it also makes it easier to locate Kalim if he ever goes off by himself.

𝓙𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓵 𝓥𝓲𝓹𝓮𝓻

He thought nothing of you at first.

Until you had full scores on everything.

He had requested you to help with Scarabia's studying, in offer of full meals, which you complied with due to living in a run down dorm and doesn't have a lot of money to support themselves with.

However, the study group went wrong due to the amount of people.

Jamil then figured that you didn't work too well with large numbers of people, and he found that you were slightly dependent on him when it comes to speaking.

He ended up planning smaller groups, working on those who had the worst grades then up.

And thanks to you, their dorm gradually got better.

Jamil spent time with you whenever he was free from following Kalim, and he was fairly fond of you.

You were soft, very soft, but highly reliable in terms of knowledge. So he'd often vent to you which is surprising.

But your presence and advice helped him grow better.

Jamil fell for you when he found you smiling at a Scarabia student showing you their improved grade, you looked like a warm hearted maternal parent, and his heart skipped at the sight.

When you two began dating, it was a bit rocky due to Jamil's family duty to serve the Al-Asim family. But Kalim was very kind to allow Jamil more free time, in exchange that he brings you over for more study parties!

You figured since Kalim wasn't fond of studying and more for partying, that you'd make a study party which improved Kalim's grade by ten folds. Jalim practically wept tears that the seven sent him this angel.

Geo Archon

The Consultant

𝓐𝔃𝓾𝓵 𝓐𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓷𝓰𝓻𝓸𝓽𝓽𝓸

Azul was greedy for the power you possibly possess. and your money.

Azul underestimated you since he witnessed your lack of brains in terms of money. You forget about having your wallet on you, and whenever someone offers to pay for you, you attempt to buy everything without a single thought.

This was going to be an easy contract, Azul thought. They're an idiot, Azul thought. They can't complete this contract, Azul thought.

"I've completed my end of the contract. Now you must do yours."

"Huh? Nani?"

Azul was stupefied by this, he whipped his head towards the Leech twins, both begrudgingly nodding their heads in confirmation at the archon completing their conditions of the contract.

Azul had tried to change the details of the contract, you of course allowed it the first time.

But when you returned with the conditions once again completed, Azul tried to add more.

However, you weren't having it.

You stood up and leaned down to Azul, towering over him. A sudden pressure weighed the three mercreatures, it was heavy and foreboding. Your eyes glowed a gold with the amber ombre in your hair glowing gold as well.

"I was lenient to allow you the first time. Either fulfill your end of the deal or break the contract. But if you break the contract, you will suffer the wrath of the rock."

Azul was terrified.

When Azul fell for you, he questioned himself. How in the seven did he fall for a person like YOU!? He will never remember how, but all he knows is that he's in waaay to deep.

When you two became a couple, you were far more charasmatic and charming than before, it was like it was turned up a notch. Or two. or more...

The contract loving couple have been making more money than ever thanks to the Geo Archon, the avatar of contracts. It's either fill the conditions or suffer the wrath of the rock. Or just, don't make a contract. Simple.

But then we got the one brain cell trio doing their dumb sh**.

𝓙𝓪𝓭𝓮 𝓛𝓮𝓮𝓬𝓱

Oya?

What an intriguing being.

Jade was the first to be interested in you. But he couldn't exactly find you that well since you practically mixed with the crowd a little too well than he'd like. [Bro, Zhongli and Venti has statues of themselves around Liyue and Mondstaft, AND NO ONE MANAGES TO THINK "hmmm.. You know, he looks like one that statue there.. Wait a minute-" LIKE, SRSLY!!! Venti is more obvious, I can understand Zhongli since he wears more funeral consultant clothing, but he still somehow blends in with the crowd. Unlike a Lil wind spirit.]

But when the moment came where you made a contract, Jade was more than happy to hinder you, only for you to complete the conditions before he could figure out your plan.

"... What?"

["OSMANTHUS WI-"]

After that fiasco with you giving a very large heavy warning, Jade was by your side whenever he wasn't with Floyd, questioning your knowledge, in which you were more than happy enough to comply.

Jade fell for you when you showed how competent you were unlike the other miserable guppies in school. Sure you had a few problems, but nothing with a little Jade there and everything is perfect. He also favored your knowledge, specially about fungi.

When you two became a couple, it was.. Strange to say, a air headed but scary consultant with a sadistically calm eelman? That's ringing bells for everyone.

𝓕𝓵𝓸𝔂𝓭𝓮 𝓛𝓮𝓮𝓬𝓱

Floyd had zero, zip, non, 100% no interest in you. Why? You looks, sound and seem boring. And he stand corrected.

it was later when you completed the conditions, which, not gonna lie, spooked Floyd.

"Hah?"

Later, he began to go after you like he did with Goldfish (Riddle), and when he tried to squeeze you, he found himself squeezing a shield instead.

He found himself utterly thrilled and had did several attempts at you, which failed.

His interest in you and your abilities heightened.

Then your relationship bloomed.

It was hard to say if it was romantic or platonic, but either way, Floyd was perfectly happy. Happy to have a partner who continues to show things or tell him things about their world.

As long as Floyd kept out of trouble and/or content, Jade and Azul didn't say question their relationship.

Pyro Archon

The Warlord

𝓛𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓪 𝓚𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓵𝓪𝓻

Who are you? What are you? Why are you here? What are you doing? Get out.

Leona didn't care for you, not one single bit. Until you messed with his sleep schedule due to your chaoticness.

Whenever your around, you just bring trouble with you. And he doesn't like it one bit.

And when you bring trouble, you bring noise.

Which officially ruins his nap times.

However, Leona praises and respects your prowess in battle. You always gave it your all, which he liked. You weren't holding back, which allowed him to gauge how powerful you were as a deity with or without your element.

As it turns out, you're stronger than what you make yourself out to be, but what catches Leona's attention the most, was how calculating you were. It was as if you were analyzing him

To be honest, he felt violated.

At most times, you're energetic, but when your quiet or serious, it's either pack your sh** and leave or get out of their way.

Because when your either if those, you will either send someone to the nurse with severe casualties or some of the schools property will be destroyed. And of course, there is a justified reason for this.

Other than to make Crowley very upset of course.

Leona fell for you with your strength. He loves a woman who can lead and he could just relax. Unless it comes to some other type of leadership, like in the bedroom, then that will change. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

These two are dangerous as a couple when Leona's awake and active. And when Leona's on the move, expect a gremlin to be tailing after him, and be sure to clear out of their way. Mercy didn't in their vocabulary.

𝓡𝓾𝓰𝓰𝓲𝓮 𝓑𝓾𝓬𝓬𝓱𝓲

Huh? Do I know you? No? Goodbye.

Ruggie, quite literally, didn't give a rats ass about you.

To him, you were like any other beast man, rowdy and rough, other than your form that is.

But thankfully, you knew how to take care of yourself. Less work for Ruggie. I guess.

Not only that you knew how to cook. That was a god sent gift to Ruggie. Sadly though, you only know how to make mostly meat dishes. If it contains vegetables, expect the veggies to be over seasoned.

Leona was scared when he saw you in the kitchen, only to calm down seeing you being calm and not rowdy.

Ruggie fell for your cooking. He is literally the term "To get to a mans heart, you go through their stomach". although you should work on cooking vegetables better for a more healthier lifestyle.

𝓙𝓪𝓬𝓴 𝓗𝓸𝔀𝓵

Strong? Strong.

You two are 100% besties.

You two are glued to the hip whenever you guys are free or share classes.

You both like to exercise and spar, so you two mostly go for each other.

To say the least, Jack mostly saw you as a sibling. Sorry, no romance.

Jack often scolds you for not eating more vegetables.

Which makes you pout and huff.

Cute lil tyke - Leona

Hydro Archon

The Judge

𝓡𝓲𝓭𝓭𝓵𝓮 𝓡𝓸𝓼𝓮𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓼

Nice, another rule setter like me. We're gonna be great friends.

"Explain why two cubes of sugar should be in a lemon tea? It's blasphemy."

I see you have chosen violence 😌

Riddle at first liked you, until you learned about the rules of the Queen of Hearts, did he start to hate you.

"BE QUIET OR IT'S OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!"

He loathed you.

He thought that since your a judge, you'd understand the rules, much like him. But no, you judged the rules as well, evaluating if they are fair or not.

Whenever you call out on the rules that appeared ridiculously stupid to have (like the two sugar cubes in lemon tea. That's bs to you.)

After the overblot, you were more nicer when he changed.

He stand corrected.

But he didn't mind it, he low key enjoyed arguing with you, without him screaming at you of course.

You two as a couple sends fear in everyone. A judge and a tyrant? That's a deadly combo.

𝓣𝓻𝓮𝔂 𝓒𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻

Trey had taken a liking to you, seeing how similar you are to Riddle.

He enjoyed answering your questions about rules, but if there were rules he can't remember, he'd look at them with you to not only answer your question, but to commit them to memory in case.

What he's scared of is when you give trials regarding about incidents. Riddle would present his case then the 'innocent' or innocent would present theirs.

If the person is guilty, you ensure punishment, because like Riddle, you detest rule breakers unless in reason. You didn't mind them bending the rules as long as it doesn't break.

Trey is envious of your abilities, but you reassure him the his Doodle Suit is superior if you can use it against others magic.

You often praised him as well.

You admitted to thinking about a scenario of if Trey was born in Tevyat, he'd receive a hydro vision.

He flushed in response, secretly happy to have caught your attention.

You two as a couple puts everyone, minus Riddle because it's you, at ease.

𝓒𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓓𝓲𝓪𝓶𝓸𝓷𝓭

#ohmyseveniminlove #calltheambulance #loveatfirstsight #goddescendingfromheaven #pinchme #PLSNOTICEMEANDLOVEME #foryoupage

He practically fell for you.

To him, you were perfect.

"You have flaws? I only see perfection!"

He's a smooth talker, albeit feminine due to having a lot of sisters, but smooth nonetheless.

He's a simp for you, willing to use his unique magic to do anything and everything for you.

Literally fell at first sight of you.

As a couple, Cater often takes couple photos with you, at first you were content with the pictures, but at this point they kinda peeved her when he takes pictures on every occasion.

"Smiiiile~"

"Cater, I love you, but please, stop."

"If you give me a kiss I might~"

𝓓𝓮𝓾𝓬𝓮 𝓢𝓹𝓪𝓭𝓮

You're his role model.

Literally the Geno to your Saitama.

He carries a notebook with him to take notes on you since he strives to be like you. A model being.

Even if he looks smart, he still has a split braincell between Ace and Grim.

Don't hold it against him if he's trying to know almost EVERYTHING about you.

More platonic than romantic.

𝓐𝓬𝓮 𝓣𝓻𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓸𝓵𝓪

Complete opposites.

And completely disliked each other.

You rubbed him the wrong way, maybe it was because you were more justified than him, better at things than he was.

He didn't know what, it was just you being better than him. He understands he's not smart, because he foes dumb sh** with the other two.

But whenever you have to deal with their messes on their own, he feels irritated.

He often tries to get after you as well.

"Oh wow, such a god you are. Pathetic."

*cue angry archon noises with an 8 feet tall wave behind them, ready to flood Ace's ass.*

Yeah, your relationship is very... Rocky and slightly concerning.

Here's part 2! I'm happy that you read this! I will have a link to the first part after connecting the links to certain parts. Feel free to request or refer to the main master list pinned on my blog if you wish to see other choices to make! Happy reading!

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝐷𝑖𝑙𝑓!𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧: 𝑊𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐴𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑎𝑏𝑦

Warnings: Aged up/Older Ateez but age differences are still within legal boundaries. Suggestive scenarios only, no actual NSFW content.

❥𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰

"Hongjoong!" You continuously poked at his arm rather harshly, trying to get him to look away from the phone in his hands.

"What-what?!" He freaked out and accidentally dropped his phone on the floor.

When he saw you peeking over to see what had gotten him so interested, he quickly scrambled to pick it up before hiding it in his lap. That made you even more suspicious.

"What are you trying to hide?" You squinted your eyes at him.

Hongjoong gulped nervously, which made your anxiety rise up.

"No-nothing... " But obviously there was something if his eyes refused to look at you. The longer you stared at him, the more Hongjoong seemed to recoil back in his chair, looking like he was..... guilty? Ashamed?

Dropping your fork on the table, you held up an accusatory finger at him.

"I'm warning you right now Kim Hongjoong, if you're fucking cheating on me I will cut off your penis while you're sleeping!" You threatened him.

The color drained from Hongjoong's face but nonetheless he got up to go over and calm you down.

"No no babe! I'm not cheating on you! I swear." He promised you, even getting on his knees in front of you.

"Then what were you looking at that you didn't want me to see?"

Sighing softly, Hongjoong took out his phone and pulled up the picture that he was looking at: it was a really cute and girly crib with a pink bed setting. You had to admit you were surprised that it would be something he was so intently looking at.

"And tell me why you were so distracted by this? Who were you planning on buying this for? Our son is already 3 and I don't think he'll appreciate the frilly pink in his room." You tried reasoning with him.

"No it's not for him. I've just been seeing so many nursery ideas for baby girls and it kinda got me thinking...." He paused and layed a hand on your stomach as he bit down on his lip, hoping you'd catch on to what he was trying to say.

And you most certainly did.

"Hongjoong- are you telling me you actually want another baby?" You weren't put off by the idea but it was so sudden and unexpected that you didn't know how to react.

Standing upright, Hongjoong squeezed your cheeks and softly pecked your lips.

"I do. I want an adorable and beautiful little girl... just like you. " He chuckled adoringly as he pressed more kisses to your cheek, trying to coerce you into saying yes.

❥𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪

"Dang, could you imagine raising 6 kids?" You asked Seonghwa as you cuddled up closer to him, your hand stroking the little patch of skin that was peeking out of his pajama shirt while you two watched the old sitcom The Brady Bunch play on your tv.

"Well you'd never have a boring day for sure." He chuckled, placing a kiss on the top of your head.

You hummed softly, eyes never leaving the screen in front of you.

"True...but to think how exhausting it must be. We only have two and they take up most of our time."

Seonghwa laughed at how true your words were, your twins already nearing 5 years of age and boy were they a handful. If you weren't making sure they were doing well in school, you almost always had to deal with the boy pranking his sister or causing all kinds of mischief or you had your daughter coming up to you with the darnest of questions, one after another.

"But you can't deny they're adorable and they make our life happier." He reminded you, and you had to agree. Like Seonghwa said, there was never a boring day with your two munchkins around.

Feeling Seonghwa's fingers idly tap along your hip, you knew his mind was elsewhere and not on the show playing on the tv.

"Penny for your thoughts?" You asked him.

Seonghwa wondered whether it would be a good idea to say something but ultimately decided 'screw it.' Turning off the tv, he sat up and looked you straight in the eye.

"How would you feel about adding another member to the family?" He straight out blurted it out.

Although you knew what he meant, you decided to play like you didn't understand.

"I thought you said no pets because they make a mess." You giggled which caused Seonghwa to flick your head.

"You know that's not what I meant." He huffed out.

"I know, I know love...."

Grabbing the collar of his shirt, your fingers slowly began undoing the buttons.

"So.... you want another baby?"

Seonghwa felt himself hardening when he looked at your suggestive eyes.

"Yes." He breathed out, tongue swiping over his lips when you brought your face close to his.

"Wanna fuck another baby into me?" You smirked as you layed down on the bed and pulled him on top of you.

"Hell yeah-"

Your moment was interrupted when you heard the screeching of your daughter as she called out for you, ratting out her brother in his new prank. Seonghwa sighed loudly as he got up.

"Guess we're trying this another night."

❥𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸

Picking his son up from school, Yunho watched as the little boy waved goodbye to his friends who in turn ran to their respective parents. He noticed how the boy seemed to look with great curiosity at some of them, particularly when they would hug or mess around with the sibling that was accompanying their dad or mom. Even during the car ride home, Yunho would peer through the rear view mirror and saw the little boy fidgeting his tiny hands.

"What's up buddy? Something on your mind?" He asked.

His son looked around nervously before blurting out:

"Dad how come all of my friends have brothers or sisters but I don't?"

Yunho had to steady his grip on the steering wheel to keep from swerving onto the opposite lane. He was not prepared to be asked such a question by his son.

"I well umm..... mommy and I didn't know you'd want a sibling...."

Yunho looked back at his son through the rear view mirror, hesitating on his words.

"Do you want a brother or sister?"

The reaction on the boy's face was immediate, eyes growing big and sparkling.

"Yes! I want someone to play with every day too!" He squealed.

Yunho chuckled at his son's excitement. Getting out his phone, being careful not to take his eyes off the road, he made a quick call to Mingi and asked him if he could babysit for a couple hours, which his friend was more than happy to do. Yunho immensely thanked him and hung up.

"Well buddy, for today please settle for Mingi's daughter. Maybe this time you'll actually beat her in climbing up a tree faster."

Happy at getting his boy content and with entertained for a few hours, Yunho dropped him off at Mingi's place, the latter promising to take good care of him, which Yunho didn't doubt one bit. Getting back inside the car, he nearly drove over the speed limit just so he could get home as fast as possible. You were just finishing up setting up the table for lunch when Yunho came running inside.

"Hey, where's-"

You slightly gasped when Yunho cupped your face and began kissing you hungrily, his mouth devouring yours as his hands went to the back of your thighs so he could pick you up and wrap your legs around his waist.

"Yunho what has gotten into you? Where's my baby?" You finally asked when you were able to catch your breath.

"He's over with Mingi and he'll be there for a couple hours, perfect if you ask me."

You couldn't help the blush that spread across your cheeks when Yunho kicked open the door to your room and proceeded to lay you on the bed.

"Our son is lonely, he wants someone to play with and keep him company."

You giggled when you caught onto his meaning, tilting your head when he began peppering kisses along your jaw.

"So let's try and make him a sibling."

❥𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰

Yeosang and you calmly laid out the food on top of the picnic blanket, one of you looking over every once in a while at the pair of kids running around the park, making sure neither of them got hurt, which they didn't. You two merely exchanged amused looks when you heard their playful bantering.

"Hey! No fair! You cheated!" Your son accused his older half sister, face frowning at having lost in their game of hide and seek.

"Did not! You're just a sore loser." Eunbin called out.

Huffing loudly, your son stomped his tiny 4 year old feet away from her, but stopping midway to turn around dramatically.

"I liked you better when you'd let me win!" He exclaimed.

"And I liked you better when you couldn't talk and still needed to be changed. You were a lot cuter back then!" Eunbin replied, half snorting at her statement.

You and Yeosang tried not to burst out laughing right then and there, preferring to keep quiet, knowing they'd be friends again in 5 minutes and forget they even got mad at each other. You went back to your task of peeling fruit, so engrossed that you almost didn't hear Yeosang start talking.

"He was incredibly adorable as a baby, Eunbin isn't lying." He commented.

"Yeah he was. He looked like a little cherub. Squishy cheeks and button nose." You faintly squealed as you recalled all the times you'd stay by his crib and watched him sleep.

Yeosang also began reminiscing about those times, his mind starting to get ideas.

"What if we had another one?" He asked so casually.

"Another baby?" You raised your head to look at him.

"Yeah.... I mean... I kinda miss all those sleepless nights of crying, endless feeding, rocking them to sleep and changing diapers." Yeosang admitted.

"I did most of it though." You reminded him.

"I mean.... I helped didn't I?" Yeosang tried to argue.

"Actually Damian helped out, even if he was grouchy about it." You rolled your eyes.

Yeosang huffed. "So I take it this means no baby?"

"Now hold on, I didn't say that. I'm very open to the idea, but you know this isn't a decision to make ourselves."

Calling for your children over, they speedily made their way to you two, each of them sitting next to their favorite parent, Eunbin next to her father while your son scooted over with you, resting his head on your lap.

"Hey kids, what do you guys think about mommy and I getting you guys a brother or sister?"

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷

"There you go princess. All nice and pretty like always. Remember to behave at school ok? And be nice...."

Looking over to make sure you weren't within earshot, San leaned in and whispered to his daughter.

"But if anyone is being mean to you, remember to do that thing I taught you."

The tiny pig tailed girl held up her tiny fists and proceeded to lift her foot up and kick the air, just like her father had secretly taught her to do when you weren't around.

"That's my girl! Love you."

Kissing the top of her head, he watched her get in the car that also contained Wooyoung's daughter, their mom waving from the driver's side before taking them both to school. As usual, San stayed by the doorstep and waited a couple minutes before heading back inside. He joined you in the kitchen, where you were busy washing dishes from breakfast. Feeling your husband hug you from behind, you looked over and pecked his cheek.

"What's wrong?" You asked when you saw his pouty face.

"I'm worried about our princess. What if something happens to her?" He was starting once more with his overprotective dad mode.

"San she's going to be fine." You assured him.

"How do we know for sure? We say that now but what about later in life? Soon she'll start growing up, start making her own decisions and- Oh my God! Boys! Some boy will try to take her away from me!" He screeched, pure panic on his face.

"And that's normal. She will attract boys, she will date, will get her heartbroken-"

"Oh no no no, anyone breaks her heart, I'll break their necks." He cracked his knuckles to get his point across.

"You can't spy on her 24/7 you know. You might not even know when someone is interested in her or if she's interested in someone." You tried explaining to him.

"Hmmm true....we need someone else to do the job.."

Turning you around, San had a mischievous look in his eyes as he began untying your robe.

"Maybe someone like a little brother to report to me anything that goes on in her life."

You scoffed at him. "Choi San, are you suggesting we have a kid merely so they'll become your little accomplice?"

San chuckled as he pulled your body against his.

"That and it's getting pretty gloomy in the house without our daughter. Another baby might cheer us up."

❥𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲

Mingi and you cooed at the tiny baby that was in Yunho's arms.

"He's so adorable." You squeaked when he brought it closer to you so you could get a better look at his tiny face

"And big." Mingi pointed out

"Yep, his mom felt that too while pushing him out." Yunho grimaced as he recalled the excruciating hours inside the delivery room.

"But it was all worth it in the end. We brought another healthy precious boy into the world and our son won't be so lonely anymore." Yunho continued as he looked over towards his son and your daughter who were currently immersed in their favorite tv show.

"Here, wanna hold him?"

Of course you did. Carefully taking the baby from his arms, you rocked him in your embrace, your heart nearly bursting out of your chest from how cute he was.

"Oh my god Mingi! He's the cutest thing ever." You whisper yelled, not wanting to cause the baby to cry or anything.

"I know. Doesn't it make you want another one?"

You whipped your head over at Mingi, who looked shocked that he actually said that.

"I mean- if you don't want to that's fine. I understand. After all, we already have our lovely daughter and I wouldn't want you to go through another pregnancy if you weren't up to it..." His babbling started to trail off, throat clearing as he felt embarrassed about what he said.

"Well look at that, he needs to be fed. Maybe it'll give you two time to talk." Yunho laughed slightly as he took the baby away and went to go prepare a bottle.

When Mingi looked back, you had your arms crossed over your chest, foot tapping against the floor. Your stare made him nervous.

"Song Mingi....do you want another baby?" You raised an eyebrow.

"I mean....I would but if you don't, I won't-"

You silenced him by pressing a kiss on his lips.

"I do. I think it'd be nice to grow our tiny family a little more." Your reply brought a smile to his face.

"Really? You mean it?"

You nodded immediately, giggling when he pressed more kisses on your lips.

"Can we start trying tonight?"

❥𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰

"Y/N, I need your opinion on something." Wooyoung called out for you.

Walking into the room, you saw him face deep on his laptop, scrolling the mouse down.

"What?" You asked as you came up behind him.

"You know how we've been talking about moving to a different area?" You nodded at his question. Indeed, you had both been discussing about moving to a neighborhood that was close to your daughter's school.

"Well I found a few options and I wanted to see if you liked any of them."

Hunching over slightly, you started looking at all the different houses Wooyoung found. They all looked pretty cozy and very spacious.. a little too big though.

"Ooh! That's the one I liked! It has this huge backyard and I was thinking maybe we could install a playground for our daughter out there. With swings and a slide. Or maybe a trampoline!" He excitedly poured out his ideas.

"Wooyoung these are all 4 bedroom houses though." You pointed out.

"Yeah. So?" He shrugged.

"It's literally just 3 of us, what on earth are we going to do with 2 spare rooms?" You questioned him.

"Well I mean....what if..it wasn't just us 3? What if 3 became 4...or even more?" He looked up at you as he bit down on his lip, his hands coming up to caress your hips in a suggestive manner.

Smiling fondly at him, you cupped his cheeks and hummed.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" You smirked at him.

"Are you going to say yes?" He looked at you with a hopeful smile.

You pretended to think about it, but eventually sighed and gave in.

"Yes."

Wooyoung jumped up from his seat and crushed you in a tight embrace, his lips attacking your cheek with pecks that felt more aggresive than grateful.

"Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!" He repeated over and over again.

Running out of the room, he barged into your daughter's bedroom where he proceeded to pick her up and spin her around, the poor girl confused.

"Guess what babygirl?! We're moving to a new house and you're going to get a sibling!"

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 ��𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸

Jongho steadied the tiny girl on his lap who was bouncing out of emotion while watching the soccer game.

"Ok ok honey, settle down. I don't want you falling off or something." He said as his strong hands kept her in place.

You and your daughter proudly cheered for Hongjoong's son and his team as they continued to score goal after goal, eventually winning over the other team which sent all of the spectators into a frenzy.

"Oh my god! They actually won!" You clapped.

Overflowing with excitement, your daughter hopped off her dad's lap and ran full speed into the field where she proceeded to latch onto Hongjoong's son, her tiny arms clinging to him while the poor boy was looking scared and nudged for someone to help him.

"Of course she'd run over to him." Jongho let out a sigh.

"Upset that your little girl already has her first crush?" You teased.

"No- well yes, but no actually."

Sensing that something was the matter with him, you inched yourself closer to Jongho, your hand reaching out to hold his.

"Is something wrong?"

It took a while for Jongho to muster his thoughts, but he eventually laid out his worries to you.

"No, it's just.... don't get me wrong, I love our daughter very much, she's my whole world along with you. But I can't help but feel jealous of my friends with their sons. Taking them to soccer matches every weekend, teaching them how to kick a ball, score a goal, you know, activities for father son bonding times."

You understood what he was talking about and although he could very well try to teach those things to your daughter, she was much too delicate and girly for such things, not to mention she didn't have much of an interest in sports. Resting your head on his shoulder, you smiled as you suggested:

"Maybe we should start trying for a boy then. I think it'd be nice don't you?"

Jongho whipped his head at you, questioning if you were being serious or not. You grinned and kissed his nose, effectively letting him know you were indeed being serious. Giggling, he pulled you against him and kissed your forehead.

"I love you so much."

Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 24, first part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Banquet Proposal

Manspreading Champion Jin Guangshan is trying to pressure Jiang Cheng into marrying Jiang Yanli into the Jin clan.  Because this is the cultivation world, where everyone reflexively agrees with the most powerful man in the room like he's Frank Sinatra and they're the Rat Pack, the whole room starts pressuring Jiang Cheng to agree.  

Then Wei Wuxian comes striding in and suggests the radical idea of asking a woman's opinion about her own marriage. He tries to pressure Jiang Cheng into agreeing with him. Today is Pressure Jiang Cheng Day. Every day for the next several months is going to be Pressure Jiang Cheng Day.

Jiang Cheng stands up and agrees that it should be left up to his sister, citing his late father's beliefs so that everyone will know that this unconventional behavior isn't his fault. This is a pickle for him; he knows his sister wants to marry Jin Zixuan, but it's not a good political alliance for the Jiangs right now, which is the opposite of the situation when his parents first made the match. While saying all this he takes the opportunity to get in a dig at Wei Wuxian for meddling.

Jiang Yanli sadly says, thanks for the offer, but the Jiang Clan is just coming back from being massacred, and I have, like, SO much laundry, I can't even. It's not that I don't want to be with you, Jixuan honey; I would just rather scrub blood off of the courtyard.

Jin Zixuan suddenly realizes that being dumped in front of a bunch of your peers is not as fun when you’re catching instead of pitching.

Clan Leader Yao is completely flummoxed by this whole "let young people decide things" concept and hopes it goes out of fashion soon.

The only really happy person in the room is Jin Guangyao, who is looking for a scapegoat for his upcoming villainy. Wei Wuxian will be a perfect fit.

(more behind the cut!)

Chillin Like a Villain

Jin Guangyao and Jin Guangshan have a villany-plotting conversation that's mostly as boring as every other villainy-plotting conversation.  

Jin Guangyao starts the ground work for blaming stuff on Wei Wuxian, saying that Wei Wuxian was alone with Xue Yang back when the 4th chunk of Yin Iron went missing. This kind of harks back to that moment when Wei Wuxian searched Xue Yang (not, incidentally, alone) and XY asked if he wasn't worried about what people would say if they heard about it.

Jin Guangshan is pretty ready to think badly of WWX, who just crapped on his marriage plans, so he quickly decides that Wei Wuxian’s Yin Tiger amulet is made out of Xue Yang’s Yin Iron, not that it actually, like, matters where it came from? It’s all the same dang metal.

Back to Lotus Pier

Then we get an establishing shot of the dock in Yunmeng and the subtitle unhelpfully says QISHAN. Not because the scene is in Qishan, but because there are red Wen banners flying that say 岐山 on them, so the subtitle is for the banner, not for the location. Not only are there Wen banners still flying despite their defeat, there are at least six Wen guards standing guard at the dock. Perhaps there is a teensy continuity error here.

The Yunmeng trio return to Lotus Pier with a group of disciples in tow. Leaving aside the boys' (apparent) stealth trip to the ancestral hall in Episode 20, this is their official return to their home and the seat of their clan, having survived the Wen clan's attempt to exterminate them.

They are battered, bloodied, but not broken and one of them is also broken. But still persevering. I get choked up at this scene every time. Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian would be pleased with all three of them. Jiang Yanli has supported both of them through all the turmoil, giving them an emotional home even while they were homeless. Jiang Cheng has done the impossible, even more than he himself realizes. And Wei Wuxian has acted as a faithful servant, sacrificing a precious part of himself to save his clan leader.

The place is a mess, with the evidence of a final battle against the Wens all over the place. As they look around Wei Wuxian thinks back on one of the many times that Jiang Fengmian paid attention to him instead of to Jiang Cheng, and smiles affectionately.   Wei Wuxian is consistently able to remember the good things and smile about them, even when those memories are overlaid by endless trauma.

The three of them look at the Wen symbol on the roof line and the boys get identically angry...

...starting with the teeth of anger...

...followed by the fist of anger.

It's a powerful moment; they still do have an awful lot in common, despite everything. Jiang Cheng uses his mother’s weapon to smash the Wen symbol and reclaim his home.

Jiang Yanli:  The fuck!? Are you trying to slice my face off?

Back to Gusu

Next we get a nice fly-through of the Jingshi, where Lan Wangji is sitting in the side room playing guqin.  In later years he will move the guqin to the living room, while this room gains a wine-drinking table.  

The Lan clan do love their knick-knacks, and this room features several. There's a teapot suspended from a chain over a brazier, with a tied-up fish sculpture for a counterweight, which is definitely not an indication of any future kinks. The brazier is surrounded by Zen sand with some surprisingly untranquil lines raked into it.  

Lan Xichen has dropped by to tell Lan Wangji that the disciples are gossiping about him, saying he’s been checking out books from the library and practicing music. Seriously? The Lans are a sect that focuses on musical cultivation. Practicing music, verrry suspicious. Also, gossip is forbidden, but sure, check up on him.

In response, Lan Wangji jumps right to "I want to enter the forbidden chamber of the Library"  Lan Xichen asks him why, and he says he wants more music scores.  Lan Xichen, who knows about the secret murder music book, isn't delighted with that answer.  Just then, Lan Qiren summons them, so they table the conversation to go see him.

Lan Qiren talks about the battle they just went through, and says "I've heard about Wei Ying."  Everybody makes significant faces without clarifying what LQR actually heard about Wei Ying. Lan Qiren then philosophizes about how war is hell, particularly for idioms about eggs and nests. They need to go clean up the leftover resentful energy, but he's sending Lan Xichen on his own, while Lan Wangji gets to stay home and repair/rewrite all of the Lan rules.

Lan Qiren says a bunch of stuff to Lan Wangji about rules, being super hinty without actually coming to the point. He refuses to let Lan Wangji speak or ask questions, while he’s doling out punishment for, basically, thought crime. He wants LWJ to reject Wei Wuxian but he wants him to do it without being directly told.

To make sure Lan Wangji is extra frustrated, he snarkily refuses to give him permission to read the forbidden books, asking him if he’s already read all of the books in the regular library. Surprisingly, he hasn’t yet; I guess he was busy winning a war while you were in a coma, jerkface.

Lan Xichen is super on edge during this conversation--scared, even. He's trying to keep the peace, trying to keep Lan Wangji out of trouble, and avoid a confrontation. Lan Wangji is increasingly uninterested in peace, but he follows his brother's unspoken commands, and shuts up.

Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen both really fail as teachers here. Lan Wangji believes that resentful energy is bad. He believes this VERY STRONGLY.  He broke up with his boyfriend for a while because of it. They are punishing him for having doubts, and they’re not giving him any opportunity to talk through those doubts with them. I say “they” because Lan Qiren is the one giving the punishment, but Lan Xichen is silently assenting, and making sure Lan Wangji doesn’t argue.

As they leave, Lan Qiren stops them to ask Lan Wangji if he understands why he's grounded, and Lan Wangji just looks at him without answering, which would be counted as sass when I was growing up.

He face says he’s appropriately chagrined, but he’s not. Before the end of this episode, he's going to directly disobey Lan Qiren, and he’s going to go on disobeying him in the future, over and over again.

Later, when Lan Wangji is alone with the pristine, definitely not in need of repair, rule book, he seems genuinely chagrined. He loves these rules, and has depended on them; that’s why he’s been a model disciple for so long, not because he fears his uncle’s punishments.

But now he also loves Wei Wuxian. So some of these rules will have to be broken.

Clan Leader Jiang

The Jiang Clan are having the ceremony to install Jiang Cheng as leader.

Wei Wuxian is sitting alone, away from all of the other disciples, watching the proceedings rather than participating. His placement in the ceremony is very strange for a head disciple.

But it’s perfect for a ghost.

Later, Jiang Cheng is practicing his "yelly boss" leadership style, and being extra grumpy because Wei Wuxian is slacking off all the time. Jiang Yanli is having trouble deciding if she should be more worried about the brother with the drinking problem or the brother with the anger problem.  

Jiang Cheng is miserable and feels completely unsure of himself but he's plowing the fuck ahead.

You might put your love and trust on the line It's risky, people love to tear that down Let 'em try Do it anyway Risk it anyway And if you're paralyzed by a voice in your head It's the standing still that should be scaring you instead Go on and Do it anyway Do it anyway

Help Me to Help You

Wei Wuxian is hanging out in a tavern window, being a thirst trap and hitting on passing Lans.  

Lan Xichen joins him for a drink and a lecture. Things start off fairly well, with Wei Wuxian being impressed with his ability to drink wine, and attempting his usual flirt-tease-charm routine, bragging about smuggling wine into Cloud Recesses.

Where Lan Wangji would be adorably flustered and hostile/sexy in responding to that, Lan Xichen just shuts him down with a look, and Wei Wuxian suddenly realizes that he's talking to an adult clan leader who isn't here for his shit, and is a lot more worldy than Lan Wangji is.

Wei Wuxian knocks it off and apologizes. Then he talks fondly about Lan Wangji, saying he wants to come visit him, and daydreams cutely about dominating him  supervising his rule-copying work.

LXC says that he should come listen to new music that LWJ has composed, and the tone of the conversation changes completely. Wei Wuxian is on his guard, and he's getting ready to throw down.  He asks if LXC came to Yunmeng specifically to hassle him, and LXC...kinda says no?

Wei Wuxian smiles sweetly while he asks if everyone in the Lan Clan is a meddler.

Lan Xichen has never encountered the nasty version of Wei Wuxian before, but he's a grown up, and he's very, very hard to provoke, unlike his brother. He cuts to the chase and says he's got something to say, whether WWX listens or not.

He says Wei Wuxian shouldn't be self-centered because the people he cares about are affected by his choices. This gets through to him, for a second. But then LXC offers to help him go back to sword cultivation, and Wei Wuxian is done listening.  

He tells Lan Xichen he doesn't want to go back to sword work, and LXC is stunned into silence for a moment as Wei Wuxian takes his wine and starts to walk away.  Lan Xichen makes a last ditch attempt to warn him about the dangers of the yin tiger amulet, and WWX says he knows, but he wants to try to master it anyway. Then he leaves with a rude little wave, and no bow.

This whole conversation seems like a disaster but Wei Wuxian does, in fact, remember Lan Xichen’s words, the next time he meets up with Lan Wangji.

Soundtrack: Do It Anyway by Ben Folds Five

[brooklel]

my thoughts on worlds end club, under the cut because it’ll probably be long and also spoilers

so i bought the game today at around 9am and played it until i beat it at around 11:30pm ish? so ha uh yeah it took a little while but i was very enthralled in the story

the story and characters are hands down the best part of the game. compared to literally any of the danganronpa games, i like the cast of characters so much more. like there’s always one or two in a danganronpa games group that i just don’t like but in wec i loved all of them. i’d usually dislike chuko’s tsundere character type but i actually ended up liking her. my least favorite is probably dragon power ranger kid whatshisname but i don’t hate him or anything i just found him to be the weakest character tbh. but i do really like his character design

speaking of the character designs OOF they’re all so good. i didn’t realize until looking up stuff on the characters but they’re all based on the animals of the Chinese zodiac which is cool and the design elements are subtle and it’s not narratively important but i mean they didn’t need to be. there’s a few offhand remarks here and there like comparing kansai to a tiger and chuko to a rat but they’re not really shoved in your face which is nice

oh also i wanna compliment pai in particular. she’s the boar character which first of all i feel like people would usually make male, and if they made her female, then she would be angry and stubborn and probably not conventionally attractive but she’s not any of those! also she’s a little heavier than the rest of the girls which 1. makes her even more adorable, and 2. no one in the game brings up or makes fun of her for which is nice. mowchan sadly didn’t get exactly the same treatment he was still the fat comic relief character. he deserved so much better.

the art is all so pretty as well like i already loved the art style from pokemon and in wec it’s even more exaggerated and i live for it. i also like the movie they’re watching at the beginning has more realistic humans that’s just kinda funny.

the humor is pretty good i guess but what i’m really here for is the fun childish but realistic portrayal of friendship and emotions like it does kinda take me back to my own little group of friends in elementary school, where sometimes there would be disagreements, but we were still always friends

i loved reicho as a canonically mute protag and how none of his friends ever minded or even brought it up like that’s so cute. but the reveal that reicho was basically just a big puppet kinda just made it feel a little different... like idk how to explain it but yeah

ANYWAY here’s my obligatory paragraph about pochi because he’s my son now. the writers knew what they were doing by making him a kinda shy gamer kid bc they knew people were gonna relate to him even when he had a somewhat smaller role in the story before turning into the full fledged protagonist. anyway this robot puppy boy is my son i will protect him

the scene where pochi basically gets dunked on by the rest of the team is weird to me like idk it just feels out of character for most of them to be like lol yeah pochis useless RIGHT after he drove an entire train to one of the specific places that those special mushrooms grow and now they can all see vanilla

also kinda unrelated but this is my second game in the past few months where i correctly guessed one of the characters was voiced by megumi ogata because dang i just love her voice. this time it was pochi and the other one was the protag in the famicom detective club games. i legit heard one line and was like HOL UP and googled it lmao

i’m still confused on why the story takes place in the 90s. it doesn’t have a particularly 90s aesthetic and most of the technology just doesn’t match up with 90s tech. like i feel like it works better if it takes place more near present day. if there’s more cultural reasons then i’m not sure what they are but i’m really curious about this. the game is very reliant on japanese culture and locations, which isn’t a bad thing but i’m an ignorant american who was also born after the 90s so im wondering if there’s some specific reason why it’s SPECIFICALLY 90s japan

oh yeah i haven’t even talked about the gameplay yet. it’s.... shitty. maybe i’m a little biased because i’m not a big platformer girl but even so it’s just not.... good...... i kinda got myself soft locked one time because a big snowman guy was blocking my way and i had no way to kill him or get around him, luckily you can just restart from your last checkpoint but still. some of the special abilities/attacks just didn’t feel that good to use, like dragon boi’s and chuko’s felt too short range at times and jennu’s and aniki’s felt a little too slow. the rest were fine i guess. the only one i felt like was done well was kansai’s.

i played on easy mode cuz it was the default one that was highlighted and idk if it effects the platforming sections or the “puzzles” but the puzzles were way too easy. most of them just felt like they were checking that you paid basic attention to the story. the ones at the end are somewhat harder but i still didn’t have any problems with them. the stuff the outright tell you would have mad better puzzles like the xxy thing but at the same time were you even supposed to realize that? the otherworlder aka you i guess says it like no big deal but like i guess the middle x looked slightly different? but not enough to be like OH OBVIOUSLY ITS X TIMES Y. on the flipside i solved the heaven map puzzle before i even had all of the pieces. i guess i have to give it some slack though because it would probably be a bit harder if you didn’t really know english kinda like the danganronpa 11037 thing

also am i just stupid or how were you supposed to know the year the phone displayed was the y number in that puzzle? i forgot to get it before trying to solve the puzzle so i knew it corresponded to the y because it was the only clue i didn’t have so i didn’t have to think about it that hard but like did the phone have something to do with the letter y or was it just like a what clue haven’t i used kinda thing

anyway apologies for the super long post if you read the whole thing then wow thanks i guess? anyway in conclusion pochi is my son

[appleb18]

Star vsThe Forces of Evil Season 4... One Year Later

One year ago, Star vs The Forces of Evil ended its fourth season and it was a disaster. It wasn’t always all that bad, in fact the show was pretty good on it’s first two seasons and bit of season 3 however it's just the final season that ruins it. It didn’t live to people expections and it felt rushed. Now let’s discuss how the show messed up shall we? 

Behind the Failure

Before I talk about the dreadful writing of season 4, I want to talk about behind the scenes of the show's downfall. According to Daron Nefcy Twitter, she tweeted that “Just finished the last episode of Star vs The Forces of Evil” a month before the finale. 

It’s fine if it was an episodic show like Phineas and Ferb, Batman Brave and the Bold and episodic shows but writing an ending for an ongoing story is something you should NEVER do. Writing the ending without a plan is a terrible decision to make, especially past plot points that were established and most of them were left answered. 

 You’ll probably be thinking that they were rushed and while I understand that all plot points can’t be answered like Gravity Falls but they wanted to make the romance their top priority over the story, which I’ll talk about later. Daron actually knew she had four seasons to work with and it makes it so frustrating to hear! 

So now let’s talk about how it all went wrong. 

Character 180

Previously, I used to like most of the cast, they used to be enjoyable characters but in season 4, oh dear they all turned into pricks.  

The onlys characters that didn’t get ruined in the fourth season were

Eclipsa and Globgor 

River Butterfly 

Tom Lucitor 

But everyone else, they all became such unbearable picks like The Magic High Commision. They used to act like decent people, trying to defend Mewni from Ludo/Toffee

And they actually have character, especially Rhombulus growth when he befriends Star. 

But they get character assassinated and become monster haters with no actual reason just like the Mewnimen and they never atone for what they’ve done to the Butterfly family. 

Moon betrayal came out of nowhere and it only lasted like seven minutes then she joins Star and Eclipsa because she didn’t realize Mina and her soldiers are going to commit genocide. Why didn’t she see that coming? They were racist to monsters, did she think they’ll actually spare them? 

Her reason behind is so stupid and that is because she doesn’t trust Eclipsa ruling Mewni but why all the sudden? While it’s true she let her get shot by Meteora but that’s an mother instinct to protect her child. Also she tried to kill her own daughter to protect Star and Mewni. So Moon shouldn’t see her irresponsbile. While she isn’t fit to be ruler, she is trustworthy. What’s worse is she admittedly teams up with them to defeat Mina.  

Then there’s Star and Marco, the two main characters of the show and they became terrible people. All of the development from the previous seasons get thrown out of the window. 

Marco never talked to his parents after he left and barely visits because “he’s too busy” and he didn’t even know he’s gonna get a baby sister. Clearly doesn’t care when Star’s mom goes missing, his ego in the Neverzone and neglecting Nacho’s for a very long time at least 1000 years. Marco breaks up with Kelly for no reason and he knows what’s she going through.

For Star, she acts more of a princess and has responsibilities, having a reason why she can’t go back to Earth but it doesn’t excuse her being a terrible person. She’s irresponsible that she leaves Rhombus and Eclipsa alone despite it’s very clear they want to kill each other, she’s a brat in “Junkin’ Janna”, she’s so rude to Tom when he comes a better person for her, she’s been eyecandy on Marco even though she has a boyfriend and she’s a complete dick in “Cleaved”. I hate the excuse for her acting like a prick because “she’s a teenager, and teenagers are dumb”. What a load of bull 

Losing Focus 

Season 4 has to be the most unforced in the entire show. They present plot points and they barely explore it. They’ll make a comment about it and the show just moves on from it. Mostly showing shipping episodes and filler 

The show introduced that mewmens were originated from Earth but never further explored that. 

Mewni hates monsters but never shows why and how. It just makes them complete dicks throughout season 

They never had a set goal or what’s trying to be. The only thing that made the plot moving was Moon disappearance but it gets resolved in two episodes. 

So the only thing left is Star trying to end racism for season 4. The problem with this is there’s no stakes, if she fails, monsters and mewmens won’t get along and that’s fine because their children on both sides won’t make the same mistake as they did, making it no need to push it.

It would’ve worked better if they showed the Mewni perspective when Eclipsa became ruler. Unfortunately, they display them as unguided children, expecting Moon to do everything for them and complain. Also they hate monsters because they do not like them.  Most of them go live with Moon, making them not accept change nor monsters. They don’t deserve any sympathy, they are just a bunch of idiots who are racist. 

And the thing that made the season so unfocused is the freaking shipping. 

Starco is Terrible 

Remember when it was good back the first two seasons but season 3 and mostly season 4 made it so hard to watch and instead of shipping being a subplot like most shows, they turn it into a main plot. I don’t understand why they have to prioritize shipping over the story. It’s inevitable that Starco will become cannon because that’s what people wanted but it cost to establish ships to be torn down in the most frustrating way.

Kelly and Marco break up with no reason why and it’s off screen.  

Star is a bad girlfriend to Tom, leaving Star crying

Then in a few hours, Star and Marco become a couple. Only a few hours and the resolution was so dang quick. It makes me wonder why they have to stay so long if she loves Marco more than him? 

Star and Marco would rather die together instead of being with their family despite their relationship just starting. It would’ve worked better if Tomstar broke up earlier and Starco become cannon so we can see their relationship more than just a few episodes. There’s really no need to drag it for so long! 

Mina Loveberry isn’t Threatening

Mina Loveberry, the main villain for season 4 and yet didn’t do anything. Unlike Toffee scheming behind the scenes for three seasons, Ludo raising an army of rats and gaining better control of the wand and Meteora powers growing, she didn’t play her role for the whole season. All she did is she rebuilt her battle armor and send poison fruits to Eclipsa, that’s it. The show never showed how dangerous she is 

While sure she can beat Star and Tom but she got oneshoted by Meteora who got defeated by Eclipsa. So she really isn’t that big of a problem to handle. 

In the finale, again she never did anything and she got knocked down by a Corrupted Unicorn, making her not so dangerous like other characters said she was

Seth should’ve been the main villain instead of that crazy lady but unfortunately, they never introduce him even though he’s still alive according to The Book of Spells.  

Cleaved 

So the series finale and I have to say, my god how the show has fallen. This finale is a disaster, it’s way worse than any other cartoon finale such as Adventure Time and Steven Universe Future. 

With no build up, Star has come to a conclusion that she needs to eradicate magic because it’s bad. There weren't any clear signs that magic is truly bad. Star never actually thought about everyone else that is made out of magic or used it for their daily life. The only thing she realized is she won’t be with Marco. Not able to her friends or the many lives she’ll ruin but she won’t see Marco and everyone agrees to destroy the magic. 

So Star and Marco go to the World of Magic to destroy it. As they enter and almost forget who they are, the pudding apparently helps them jog their memory and he’s carrying a lot of them. 

They realized Tom was still at the realm and he’s riding on the Corrupted Horse so Marco will handle it while Star uses the whispering spell to destroy it.

Star gets help destroying magic by Eclipsa, Moon and for some odd reason Meteora can do it too with her butterfly form even though she never went through mewberrity. Then the past queens help them out too

As they were destroying magic, Marco feeds Tom the pudding but gets impaled by the unicorn with dramatic music playing but that got completely scrapped when he goes back to Earth. 

After they successfully destroyed magic, Star and Marco have to go back their worlds but then she decided she wants to abandon everything and everyone so she can be with Marco and he does the same by staying in the realm. They both hug and something happens through the power of love that links between two worlds and again they were a couple for two episodes. 

She goes back to Mewni and sees that she doesn’t have cheek marks anymore. Moon, mewmens and Mina are reformed and no punishments were given.

With magic gone, her and her family just caused the multiverse that relies on magic, face chaos and they will collapse entirely. Although they prevented genocide of the monsters but ultimately cause genocide at a larger scale than Mina’s in the process like all of Star spells, people who are made out of magic and The Magic High Commsions are dead. 

Then two portals for each world exploded and both worlds collide. The writers made it out as if it’s a happy ending but it just causes panic between both worlds and racism towards monsters is now worse than ever but Starco can at least be together. 

Conclusion

I used to like Star vs The Forces of Evil and I thought it would’ve been great but like most shows that disappointed me such as Steven Universe, and Voltron, this show really frustrated me. If the show actually didn’t focus too much on the shipping or made it as a romantic show, it would've been great but they didn’t and the show suffers for that. It’s a dang shame that it has to that route. 

[spookymultimedia]

ITS MY BLOG AND I GET TO INFODUMP ABOUT MY CHARACTERS >:D

Disability and gender experience

CW for ptsd, panic attacks, su*c*de [I will talk about at the end if you still want to read this and will add another warning] , gender dysphoria, mild transpobia and abelism both internal and external

Disability

Lyla has osteoarthritis that is due to Burns' pretty fucky genes. She found this out when one evening they literally couldn't get out of bed for anything due to intense pain in the knees. Waylon had to come and get them and when he got there Lyla was pretty much on the brink of tears. Lyla then got a diagnosis. At first she was frustrated because it changed everything about his daily life. He was prescribed pain medication that dulls the pain to a manageable degree and was recommended to use a cane to get around during mild flare ups. It initially upset her. He thought she was too young to be going through something like that and hated having to limit how much they work. They later realized that stigma was ableist and bullshit and eventually sucked it up and decided to just embrace his new way of life and let her Grandfather help him learn how to cope due to experience with chronic pain [which means its lifelong] . On some days they get around just fine with pain meds but on bad flare up days they have to use a cane or chair to get around. She eventually mastered working with the aids and can even pop a sick wheelie on his chair. The pain still gets to them and it really sucks but he does swallow his pride and allow themselves to rest and be supported by others.

Sometimes with her partner Ashley he'll get snuggled and taken care of by her. Lyla is pretty dang light like his grandfather and Ashley has no problem carrying him around. Lyla secretly loves being carried. He's pretty fucking privileged to have Mr.Burns allow her disability support. Lyla is very privileged. Sometimes they like to make his cane/chair look cool with spray paint and whatnot. Very cripplepunk. Lyla probably found a disabled community of people his age to help her feel less alone.

Abbey has undiagnosed innatentive type adhd and ptsd that she gets full on panic attacks from. Neurodiversity was something taboo and not talked about in her childhood and didn't even realize she was struggling more than she should be. As a child she struggled paying attention to long boring sermons/lectures and was shamed alot for it. She didn't understand how she occasionally made people uncomfortable with very weird and unconventional topics she talks about. Loud sudden stimuli and intense buzzing overwhelms her and can make her cry. She didn't do very well in school and barely graduated high school. She prefered watching her favorite movies and playing dolls with her sister over studying. She's extremely sensitive to fabric and only has certain types of blankets and clothes that she can stand. She absolutely hates the feeling of fabric draping against her legs too much so sometimes she either wears tight-ish pants and avoids skirts/dresses. She hates sitting and walking in dresses. She never wanted to wear them lol they feel bad to her. She refuses to sit up straight and will cross her legs. Abbey hyperfixates on animation, cinema, and dollhouses. She likes binging movies and making doll projects. She tends to bond with people through movies and model making. She struggled to make friends outside of her circle and just stayed friends with people she grew up with at her church. They all escaped that mormon hell. Abbey struggles with her emotions and usually gets overwhelmed too much which can often leave her drained and tired. She has an intense oral fixation and uses stim necklaces to chew on, before she would chew on her sleeves, pen caps, pens, her hair, her shirt, her sleeves, bottle caps, ect. She was a very curious kid and tried to eat playdough, dirt and grass lol. None of them where good. She is decent at working at the video store and feels happy with her job being related to her interests. Because hrt therapy is so expensive she doesn't feel she can afford any kind of therapy or medication and it's very overwhelming for her to have to prioritize one aspect of her health over another. But with financial support from close friends and her boyfriend Tim she gets by ok.

Gender

Lyla assumed that it was completely normal to have a fuzzy fluid gender due to believing gender is a lose concept for most people. He didn't realize most people have static genders that don't change at all. It wasn't something they never questioned. Later in Lyla's 20s they started to learn more on gender and realized she wasn't as cis as he thought they where. The term genderfluid fit his experiences perfectly. They never felt still in their gender. Even if they felt more towards one gender over another it wasn't a firm feeling. It felt fluid and lose. As a teen they dressed in goth fashion and was a self proclaimed tomboy. But they realized tomboys or most gnc women didn't dress up very feminine on somedays or even wear dresses. She loves wearing dresses and she loves wearing lose jeans and a lose men's tee.

Lyla's gender tends to shift weekly but it may present or change depending on who they're with or what media/environment they're exposed too. For example he might feel more feminine with certain friends and more masculine with strangers. Sometimes they feel more comfortable being agender or a nonbinary genders with certain people such as their partner. Sometimes they only use certain pronouns with certain people. He/she/they at work, she/he with parents, she/he/they/it with siblings, she/he with some friends, and she/he/moths/rots, rats, its with their partner. Lyla will either tell people upfront on pronouns for the week or use a pin.

Most of the time clothes don't dictate their gender that week but there are some key differences. Lyla will not wear dresses on more masculine days and may draw on facial hair with a mascara brush. On more feminine days they dress more like a nature witch and loves floral stuff. They are more likely to have fun with makeup on those days.

Lyla doesn't want to undergo any kind of surgery or hormone therapy. Lyla may bind a bit with a sports bra but doesn't really feel uncomfortable with his chest and mostly doesn't mind having visibile tits on masc days.

Abbey always felt different from her birth sex and felt very frustrated learning she wouldn't just naturally grow into the chest and genitals she wants growing up. It was an extremely taboo and forbidden subject but despite that something inside her soul knew she was a girl. Her parents pushed very strict gender roles on her growing up and causes her to struggle with her femininity as an infertile woman who could not stand dresses. It made her feel a bit lost but she later felt better knowing other women cis and trans who don't conform to gender roles.

Abbey gets intense physical dysphoria from her crotch and for a long time she had to just deal with it until surgery was an option. Some days she could tolerate it but some days [especially when she got on estrogen and felt very hormonal] it was unbearable and a wet dream or boner would trigger a depressive episode that consists of cacooning a cover, watching her favorite movies and long naps. It was a toll on her mental health that was already pretty bad. But emotional support, understanding and patience from her friends and boyfriend helped her carry on though it. She eventually does get bottom surgery and it's a HUGE weight off her chest.

Abbey usually dresses in sweatshirts, graphic tees and cute jeans. Whatever's comfortable on the skin. She wore tank tops more when her tits grew in. And they grew in pretty dang fast and big and ah it hurt. She's a c cup which she loves but God they where tender for awhile. Double puberty isn't fun. Her transition was a bit rough and long being low middle class but she pulled through.

TW for su*cide. Leave the post now if this triggers you.

Abbey is a suicide attempt survivor. She suffers ptsd from her own husband taking his life leaving her a widow. She felt trapped and tired in her unbalanced emotions and uncertainty of ever feeling okay or getting the medical attention she needed and attempted to OD. Fortunately she was with Timothy who immediately called an ambulance. She was very tired and at first a bit disappointed she was still alive but also a bit relieved. She then had to cope with feeling suicidal.

[calypsoff]

Thirty Three.

Staring off from my phone, I hate that I am missing out Robyn and her tour. Just seeing the video and pictures, she looks so well, and I am happy for her, but I miss her myself. Social media is nothing compared to the human touch, her smell, her aura. I miss that and I miss her, and it doesn’t get any easier. Every day my heart yearns for her, just seeing her on pictures makes it worse not in a bad way, I just want her. Like every person in the world does, they all want a piece of Rihanna “you watched that shit three times now, if I have to hear her voice again I am going to snap bro” TJ said, I didn’t even notice it was playing over and over “she looks happy, I like it” locking my phone “that is cool Chris but come on, you played it three times. She sounds flat” side eyeing TJ “whatever, y’all ain’t in love so you don’t know what it’s like. You both can’t speak on something you do not know or understand” they don’t know what love is “I am going to join Robyn on tour, I am seeing Mel” glaring over at Barry “look at your face, nigga relax. I am joking but now I have your attention, I need to do a drop in Cali. What you think?” nodding my head “you can that is fine” I mean I can’t go really, I already fucked up because I wet the whole cast. It was soaking wet, I ain’t seen my leg since well before the whole incident so I got to see it when they took it off and it’s bruised. Few stitches there on my thigh, it looks not bad but bad. I wanted them to not put it back on but they did, of course they would “you both don’t need to stay, my dad is staying so it’s fine. I am not trapping you both to be here for eight weeks” I chuckled “Seiko will have the baby soon, so I will stick around” I forgot about that shit “Seiko asked about you, she said he is dodging death, but I am glad he is well and alive, that sounds so terrible for him and traumatic” raising an eyebrow “she still fancies me?” I laughed “she loves me still huh” made me laugh “she does, I can say that” TJ does not care about that lady, I can tell.

My dad came back from his little Walmart run, we eat too much apparently “I bought Desean with me, he wanted to keep Uncle Chris company” I chuckled “don’t mind me, I am forever sitting in my pants now. What you think?” Desean looked so happy to see me, I ain’t seen him since “you crying? Why you crying” Desean hugged my dad “he’s just being emotional, he was so sad to hear about his uncle being hurt. He is ok, look at him” I didn’t think he would be crying “come here stupid, I am good” waving him over “come on” my dad walked with him “why ain’t you come before? Why now huh?” reaching out my hand and held his arm “because I been sad” I cooed out “come on” wrapping arm around him “uncle ain’t dead yet, someone wants me alive” I chuckled, I didn’t think he would cry “he is banned from the internet too, because he was reading things on there. Very silly things” letting out an oh “what did you read? I was dead?” he nodded his head “dang, it’s not a good place you know. He is right, no more internet but I am ok. I am here with this leg like this, I am now stuck in VA with nothing to do. Sit down” I gestured “we all cried when we heard about Chris Desean, do not be ashamed little man” Barry smiled at him, I think Desean feels ashamed that he is that emotional “I love you little man, I am good. Anyways, you come to play a little gaming with me? That’s all I do now” he smiled nodding his head “I can beat you” I snorted laughing “you could beat my ass too” shaking my head smiling.

I thought I would beat my nephew in this game but what kind of man would I be, I let him win “why you staying here, it’s nice but why?” pausing the game “I am disabled, like I can’t get up the stairs and shit. It’s hard, I get tired doing things because I can really only use this hand. My dad helps me sometimes, but I need everything close by so Robyn put me in this nice place, so I am comfortable” my nephew’ eyes widened “Rihanna?” he said shocked “yeah, she made this happen for me. I appreciate it. At first I didn’t but I do now, I get to wheel myself outside the back yard with all that scenery, I can get around more then what I could have back home, it’s peace and just time for me to heal” at first I did hate Robyn for throwing me here, but I am happy, I am at peace and I get to have me time and nobody can see me “that is so cool, Rihanna buying you these things. She love you uncle?” I chuckled rubbing my face “I think she does, I hope she do but nephew. I love her, I can’t wait to see her again. The reason I got hit was because the man that came wanted Robyn, he wanted to be with her and that scares me alone. I just can’t wait to be with Robyn, move to her. I ain’t going to play like I do. If I keep playing then one day I will get killed and I left her with no kid and no title? What kind of nigga am I” shaking my head “I want you to marry Rihanna, I would” I chuckled “you want me too huh? You want Rihanna to be your auntie” my nephew got ever so excited “Rihanna my auntie yo” he is funny “I need to stack up my money first, I want to get her the biggest diamond. Soon, trust me” sighing out “my nigga thinking marriage and babies, I love that for you. Your uncle is a good man, you need to look up to any nigga. Minus your dad, cause he a deadbeat but you look to him. Your uncle is a good man that just gets in the wrong crowd” my nephew nodded his head smiling at me “I love you” I cooed out.

Watching TJ, Barry and Desean play basketball outside “you’re letting him win bro, push him down!” I shouted; they are being too kind to my nephew. My mobile started ringing in my hand, Robyn is calling me finally. She was asleep obviously; well she was catching up with her sleep, so I left her to it and she is calling me “hey twin” answering the call, a biggest smile on my face. I adore hearing Robyn’ voice “poppa, I miss you so fucking much. We need to facetime tonight. I am not sure if you will be awake though, but I want to facetime you, I enjoyed it even though you fall asleep on me” she knows damn well I can’t stay awake now “I be tired as hell, do you hang up straight away or watch me?” she is going to not tell me the truth “I honestly watch you for a while, I miss you so why wouldn’t I?” she got a point, Desean shouted as TJ pushed him down “where are you? Outside?” Robyn asked “yeah, just watching the boys play basketball with my nephew. Nice to get fresh air, my dad is saying he is going to shave my hair off. Like all off, what you think to that?” let me test her “uhhh, you seen the size of your head but also I am having my hair done. But I won’t show you until tonight. I need to get off the bus and get to the hotel, once I have my hair done I will facetime you. But are you shaving your hair off? We can show off then huh?” Robyn wants me too “aight then, so it’s a fashion show?” I grinned “why not poppa, I miss my boyfriend a lot. I do” she keeps saying this but how she thinks I feel.

They are so loud on the tour bus; Robyn hasn’t put the phone down on me we are just on the phone while doing our own thing “how is poppa!!” I heard Yusuf shout, Robyn laughed “don’t call him that, Chris. Yusuf is asking how you are, you are on loud speaker” Robyn must really call me poppa everywhere “I am good thank you, I am missing my girl though. Me and CJ both do” I chuckled “who the hell is CJ?” Yusuf asked, “my dick” Robyn yelped out “enough!” she spat “he calls his dick CJ? Oh chile, this nigga is stupid. Chris junior? His dick small, Rih you said he was big” Robyn started shouting so I couldn’t hear “why you had to say that! You’re so stupid, enough!” I am in need of a release “I miss you though, I be watching your concert videos. I see the pictures of you, I just get jealous that these fans get to touch you and I can’t, I miss your touch Robyn. I do” she cooed out “it’s hard, please don’t tell you done anything stupid? I still can’t believe you wet your whole cast, how slow can you be” rubbing my head laughing “I needed a shower and it just happened, what can I say. But I am going to go now twin, I am having a nap so I can be ready for the facetime” Robyn cooed out “awww you excited, I am too. Speak then I love you” I like facetiming Robyn; I could stare at her face all day.

I look like a naked mole rat; I am bald as fuck. From the top of my head down to my beard, just all gone. I think it was for the best because it’s just growing out “you’re bald like me now son, we look alike now” my dad kissed the top of my head “dad” moving my head away, he really out here kissing my bald head “Chris you really got a large head, it’s even worse now” I chuckled touching the top of my head “it’s all good, Robyn also is getting a new haircut or whatever. We are facetiming later, well soon anyways” TJ cooed out “is that why you getting your phone charged, looking all pretty and shit for her, that is cute” I like to facetime her, I feel we don’t get that time as much as we do and would like so seeing her face on my phone makes me happy “isn’t Robyn going to move out of that place? I mean would you go back there? I wouldn’t” shaking my head “nah, I don’t think I would. I mean once Robyn understands that I know she will end up wanting to move but I am thinking on moving in with her, I want to be close to her. Build a future with Robyn, time is too precious. I need to move on, I need to get married to her and make her a mother. I need to be a father, why am I waiting? To die, just scares me. I am always near death; I can always smell death. Shit is scary for me, so I have decided that I will be with Robyn, like moving in with her” I need to grow up with all that shit, it’s time for that “proud of you son” my dad smiled at me.

Holding my phone waiting for the facetime to connect, Robyn is facetiming me so damn late like she knows I don’t really stay awake for long. The facetime connected finally “wifi is terrible here” Robyn said but she is nowhere to be seen on the facetime and then she walked into the view of the phone in a robe, legs out too. I just admired the view I am seeing “my hair Chris!” Robyn spat, I am not even caring for the hair because I am admiring her legs “wait, oh my god. Chris you are actually naked? I mean face wise, oh my god!” she spat with a blunt in hand, oh wait. Robyn has had her hair done, she looks amazing “Robyn you look so amazing, like you look well. Meaning everything, you look like you have gained weight too, wow” I am shook “aww thank you poppa, you seen my shaved side on my hair, you like it? See how a haircut can change your whole face” Robyn started posing and pouting on facetime which made me smile “you really think I look good” she grabbed her phone from the side “amazing, like you look so happy. The twinkle in your eyes too, wow” Robyn looks sexy as fuck and here I am “this is good, I been wanting to gain weight. But I just been eating junk food, that is all. Nothing new or different there” staring at Robyn’ face as she walked with the phone in hand, the love of my life.

I am not even going to front but Robyn looks so good, maybe it’s her hair that has done it but I am liking it “tell me how you feel, enough of the compliments. Tell me how your mental health is? I am glad to see you are not crying anymore, so how are you feeling in yourself” I can keep on talking about how beautiful she looks but clearly she doesn’t want to hear that “erm, I feel good. I am grateful for you Robyn because I kind disliked you for making me come here, for everything. When I came here I was still a little angry about it all but being here, it’s peaceful. I can heal in peace; my mental health is good. I am good, I still worry about you though. I always check your fanpages, they have up to date whereabouts of you so I am doing it through that but I don’t trust people, like your safety means a lot to me and now you looking like a whole meal like that, I think I got a lot to worry about” Robyn sneakily moved the phone back and showed her bare legs “stop being a tease” Robyn giggled “I will stop but thank you, I feel like you are feigning over me huh” licking my lips smiling, I am thirsty as hell right now because I want her.

[motleymoose]

Lukewarm Endearments at Best

Fandom: Supernatural Characters: Gender Neutral!Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, John Winchester (mention) Words: 2800+ Warnings: Flangst

It had been a long time coming.

Dad had always been a traveler. When he was home, he was a novelty to me, a stranger who was familiar yet so dang mysterious that it surprised me every single time my name came to his lips. Like, even as a little kid I didn’t think he’d know me from Adam unless I was right next to Mama.. And it wasn’t like I really knew him, either. How can you know someone who’s been on the road, away from you, for most of your life? Heck, when Mama passed, I didn’t even see him for at least 18 months.

Of course, he sauntered back into my life as if nothing had happened in that intervening year and a half, like I hadn’t been forced to become a responsible adult right on the cusp of 17, shirking high school, colleges and relationships in order to keep myself from drowning in debt and despair. I was angry, and I said some things I’m not proud to repeat. And like the distant, abstract saint that my father has always been, he stood there, stoically taking the tongue lashing I had saved up for him. Through all of it, I could feel my own grief growing deeper. I had lost my mother, but I realized I never really had a father to begin with. John Winchester had been a wandering canvas that I could project my ideals of fatherhood onto, and I had always been too caught up in my own little world to recognize that he was just as human as me.

Apparently a little too human. As I let my anger burn low and my voice grow quiet, Dad looked straight into my red-rimmed eyes and said he was sorry for what he was about to say. I told him that I wasn’t going to apologize for anything that I just told him, and he shook his head sadly.

“Listen, Y/N/N,” he started, and I watched as his eyes became distant and misty. “I’ve done a lot of shit I’m not proud of, and a huge part of it is how I’ve treated my family in the past.”

I snorted and began to speak, but he held up a hand to stop me. “Please, let me finish.”

“‘Kay,” I snapped.

He cleared his throat a little before continuing. “I’m not going to be around for much longer, and I want to know that, before I go, you are taken care of.”

“Oh, like you took care of me when Mama died? Thanks, but I‘m good.”

Dad flinched, his eyes darting guilty to his boots. “That couldn’t be help-”

My face grew hot. “‘Couldn’t be helped?’ Fucksake, Dad. You left us high and dry as soon as you heard the diagnosis!” I couldn’t be around him anymore, didn’t even want to be on the same planet I was so done with him. I forcefully concentrated on jamming my feet into my running shoes, fighting back the tears pressing behind my eyes. “I can’t do this anymore. I’m going for a run, see yourself out.”

I slammed the door shut behind me, and that was the last time I ever saw my father.

-----

It wasn’t until last month that I’d read Dad had died. He’d been gone for over a decade. The obituary mentioned two surviving sons, but I was so caught up in probing the ancient scar of anger that my brain barely registered the fact. I found the old anger was weak from disuse, my coffee was cold, and I didn’t feel one damn thing either way about him. It was like reading the obits of a stranger. I felt no guilt, no anger, no grief, and I was able to quickly brush it off and carry on.

It didn’t hit me until a day later, in the middle of a crossword puzzle, that I had brothers.

After rereading Dad’s obituary, I decided to find these so-called brothers of mine. I guess I was lonely, and maybe some of the old anger was beginning to rekindle. I had a family of friends, those whom I could lean on when things got shitty, and I loved every one of them. But there was a kernel of curiosity planted in my brain, the urge to know who my brothers were and if they were anything at all like Dad… or me.

It wasn’t exactly simple to find my brothers but it wasn’t that difficult either; just like with me and Mama, Dad had set up his other family in a nice little neighborhood of a smaller city. White picket fence and everything. It didn’t last long, apparently. The house burned down with the wife still inside. But at least the kids got out alright and his precious car was saved. It was a deadend after that, no honor roll or sports write-ups mentioning a Sam or Dean Winchester could be found in any of my searches. Which was weird.

Weirder still was the FBI wanted list.

It wasn’t completely by accident that I stumbled upon Sam and Dean pouting lasciviously at the camera. Two photos, posted side by side in an archive buried under another archive stuck in a clunky footer menu. These files were hidden so deep in the government website that it took several days and one very long night to dig through all of the archived information. It was as if someone didn’t want anyone to find them. But there they were. No one could mistake the striking resemblance between me and the Winchester brothers. Same sharp nose, same alluring eyes, same crooked smile that must’ve broken at least a thousand hearts collectively. Obviously, I had better hair and fashion sense than either one of them, but that was all thanks to my mom.

Anyway, after the criminal reports came the death certificates. And after the death certificates and official police statements, I was at a loss for what to do. I knew in my gut that they were still out there, alive and raising Hell, but I couldn’t explain it nor find any evidence to disprove the official reports.

But after months and months of bum-diddly squat, a desperate hour of carnal need led me to something so fucking obvious, I wouldn’t have believed it if it has strolled up and bit me in the ass.

Dean Winchester was on Tinder.

Shrieking in surprise and triumph, I swiped right so fast that my finger would have left Grease Lightning in the dust. Yes, it was delightfully improper that I was pretending to not be related to him, but there wasn’t another option that came to mind to officially make his and Sam’s acquaintance. And I really wanted to compare notes on our father. And maybe punch one of them in the face. But I was beginning to get ahead of myself before I even got a response, my anxiety ratcheting my inner dialogue up to eleven.

<i>Aw hell,</i> I realized, this is a questionable and highly unorthodox way to meet your brothers in person. What if he swipes left? What if it’s not actually Dean but a catfish? It took a moment to scrub my mind of an actual catfish typing on a keyboard, but then I was back on track to berating myself. How could you think this plan was anything but sloppy at best? It’s almost inconceivable that-

bing!

The doubt dissipated as soon as I peeked at my phone.

Dean had swiped right!

Wait, Dean had swiped right. Which meant he was probably coming into this meeting with wildly different expectations than me. Dread trickled down my spine and into my already roiling stomach.

Thanks a lot, brain, I thought darkly, willfully ignoring the warnings flashing through my head. “No use in worrying about things that probably wouldn’t happen,” I growled. It was a quote that I often fell back on, but it never gave me any solace, probably because it was said by someone who had never had anxiety.

I shook the tension out of my hands before replying to his winky-kiss emoji. I bluntly suggested that we meet up at a tiny coffee shop not far from the main shopping district of a nearby town. If worse came to worst, at least I’d have a bunch of people at hand to witness my abduction.

***********************

A few hours and a double shot of whisky later, I was standing in line at the meeting place. I’d just given the barista my order when I felt a light tap on my shoulder.

“Y/N?” Dean asked quietly, a tiny smile tugging at his lips. He’d sidled up beside me while I had been making small talk with the barista, taking me slightly by surprise.

“You must be Dean, then!” I said, a little too brightly. Rein it in, Y/L/N, I chided myself. Readjusting my features, I gave him a pleasantly bland smile and gestured for him to order. After he was finished, he paid for both our drinks and took the lead to a table in a shadowy corner of the coffee shop. Plunking himself down in the booth, he gave a casual stretch and motioned for me to join him.

I pasted on another innocuous smile and took the seat opposite him. He shrugged off the slight and leaned forward, arms resting on the table. His entire body language was so overly nonchalant I was afraid he was going to fall asleep. “So tell me about yourself, Y/N,” his voice was soft and warm, his eyes twinkling suggestively.

Yep, big nope and a nuh-uh, that’s gotta stop. “Well, I’m a librarian by trade, I’m a cat person who also happens to be a Sagittarius, and,” I caught my breath, my brain hunting for something a little less blunt than ‘you’re my brother.’ “You're my brother.” The words fell out of my fucking mouth before I even had a chance to soften the blow. It took me months to find these guys, and my big mouth goes and forgets all forms of subtlety. The anger and frustration at Dad had built up so much inside me that I was having a hard time controlling my feelings, and now I could add embarrassment to the pile. And I never not have control over my feelings. Sometimes.

Dean sat back, stunned. He started to speak, fumbled over several words, and then shut his mouth. I waited patiently while his brain processed the information. It took a few minutes for him to break the silence. “I gotta make a phone call.” Dean stood up from the booth, shaking his head in disbelief, and stepped away from the table as he tapped something into his phone.

“No worries, I’ll be here when you get back.” I waved to him, all innocence and sweetness. He glanced back at me with furrowed brows and stomped off, whispering aggressively into his phone.

“That went better than expected,” I muttered to myself as I happily accepted our coffees from a rather bemused waiter.

***********************

Half an hour later, Dean returned. He didn’t look at all surprised that I had drank his coffee for him, only a little hurt. I would have pointed out that I’d saved him the trouble of finding it lukewarm and bitter, but the tension in the air was so thick around him that I thought better of it. Behind him, I caught a glimpse of Sam, the younger brother, ducking through the door and giving the baristas a friendly wave.

“Ooh, are we having a family reunion?” I sniped, feeling annoyed that I hadn’t even had a conversation with Dean yet and he was already calling in for backup. “You’ll have to excuse me for my earlier remarks, but I don’t like to beat around the bush.”

He quirked an eyebrow at Sam and frowned. The taller one rolled his eyes and took the chair beside me. Dean slid back into the booth. I was surrounded, but that didn’t matter. What mattered most was confirmation. And I wasn’t going to get that by just staring at them. I opened my mouth to speak, but Sam beat me to it.

“This is… quite the claim, Y/N,” he started, kindly. I could almost see the gears turning in his head as he tried to process having another sibling. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that it isn’t possible-”

Dean butted in, gruffly. “What my brother is getting at is that this isn’t exactly our first rodeo.”

Sam looked at him in worn exasperation, but shook off the comment. “Like I was saying, it isn’t impossible that you could be a long lost sibling, but… do you have any proof?”

It was my turn to raise an eyebrow. Reaching into my bag, I pulled out the few pictures I had of Dad and me, plus photos of him and Mama I had shot when they weren’t paying attention. A knot was forming in my throat, but I forced it back down with a sip of ice water.

Sam and Dean each took a few of the photos, riffling through them like they weren’t my only link to a man that I barely knew. Dean stopped at one and nudged Sam. It was the one of me and my mom standing in front of Dad’s black muscle car, big grins pasted on our faces and dripping snow cones melting in our hands. I was 13 and still enamored with the idea of having a traveling father, too self-centered and self-conscious to think about the reason why he wasn’t around like all the other dads. The bittersweet memories of disappointment and otherness began to creep into my brain, sewing the chaos of sadness in their wake.

Taking a gulp of the ice water, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand to cover the frown pulling at the corners of my mouth. “That’s at the county fair. It was one of the longest times I’d remember ever being around him,” I said with a not-so-subtle tinge of bitterness in my voice. “He wasn’t exactly the type to come to the all-school play, or even stick around for more than a weekend.”

The brothers exchanged a look again. I was starting to get annoyed with that look; it was a secret language between siblings that I had never gotten the chance to experience because my father had kept us secret from one another. He had known that we all existed, had even <i>lived</i> with his two families at different times, apparently. I had never thought of Dad as selfish before, but the more I thought about it, the more I could see that he was just as much of a bastard as I had believed since reaching adulthood. The angry part of me was beginning to confuse the more rational side of my brain, and I needed to get the answers I sought before my inner voices started a war inside my head.

While I sat there fighting with my inner, angrier self, Sam and Dean had been in quiet conversation, heads bent close over the picture. Dean flipped it over to the other side, and frowned at my mom’s scrawled writing on the back. “This says it was taken in the summer of ‘94, which means you’re…” he stopped, forehead scrunched as he concentrated on his fingers.

“I’m about to turn 39, if that’s what you’re trying to figure out,” I replied, my knees bouncing from the stress and anxiety ravaging my nervous system.

Dean’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. “That can’t be right. Sammy? Right?” I could tell he was floored by the math. If I was 38, that meant I was born between their birthdays. And if that was the case, Dad had a lot more to answer for than just being crappy at his parental role.

Sorting through the photos again, Sam didn’t respond right away. He was lining them up in chronological order, studiously checking every detail.

“Sam!” Dean said sharply, nudging his brother’s elbow.

“Huh? Oh, right.” Sam’s eyes refocused on my face, but I could tell he wasn’t really seeing me. The evidence of my existence was plain on my features, and they would have to be fools to not see my resemblance to our father.

After a while, I began to get fidgety again. “Listen, guys,” I said as I stood up and gathered my things. “It’s been a real pleasure, but it’s getting late. Besides,” pausing, I looked both of them square in the eyes, “I’m sure you two have a lot to discuss.”

Turning, I threaded my way to the exit and made it just outside the door when Dean caught up to me.

“Y/N, wait.” He tapped my shoulder again, and I pivoted to meet his gaze. “If what you say is true, and you are in fact family. Well,” he glanced back at Sam who was coming out behind him. “We’ve got a lot to discuss.”

[vindicatedvirgil]

amanda’s sanders sides binge reactions, episodes ten-sixteen

losing my motivation — making some changes

home maintenance is not a joke

infinitesimal

i don’t know, LOGIC

the game is on

all business

no you can’t play with us

i’ve been waiting for this day to wear it

he found a dollar

touching up some eyeshadow

what are these grounds

are they coffee grounds

/dadjoke

bleak

you’re not welcome

elementary my dear daddy

what

HE’S NOT ALWAYS THE BAD GUY

how do the sides borrow money from each other i’m confused

sir sing-a-lot

i am a knight thank you very much

oh no how could you do it i trusted you

what’s going on? something good

feelings. the bane of my existence

weird mushy vision you mean my entire catalog of fanfic writing

well who should have done that *cue intense music*

am i in a paradoxical loop

calm down time

that was dark even for me

yes go to the library

logan’s name reveal

Q+A time

laughy cry-y emoji

pouty mcspecs

i really need to up my roman giving nicknames game

his anxiety is heightened VIRGIL IS TALLEST SIDE CONFIRMED

so does roman have a fairy godmother

bippity boppity boo yah

i’m not okay

i promise

but also i am the walrus

wait that needs to be on my patton playlist brb

virgil likes tumblr hence he likes us

i need four cookies

and i will sit on a surface that is not meant to be sat on

patton doesn’t always screw stuff up

i also like podcasts

CAMPFIRE SONG SONG

virgil’s compliments are great what are you talking about

who is texting logan (my guess is orange)

who is texting roman (my guess is remus)

winnie the pooh~

logan tries singing to all star

and virgil just goes “yeahhhh”

i know big words

DO YOU KNOW HOW CUTE YOU ARE

relevant with yesterday’s skirt photo

fanart!

fanfic!

what is a ship?

virgil definitely knows because he’s on tumblr

thomas has a rat in his hair confirmed (it’s remus)

virgil is the first in this one too

sometimes i just gotta be me-an

hide under the covers until the sun goes away

chemically imbalanced romance

we’re donezo

never fear your creativity is here

thomas’ happiness is roman’s mission

cries

you shackle your creativity

wait

remus says something very similar

hmmmmmmmmm

brainstorming extravaganza

patton why were you not wearing your pants

KNIVES

is this why princey spit yogurt at me yesterday

i’m always serious. clearly. i wear a necktie.

roman wears the pants-

they are a family btw

lol time limits

do those exist in current episodes

FIGHTING

...verbally

OMG OMG IT’S TIME

aggressive bouts of beat poetry

nb royalty aka me

*nods like virgil*

WOO!

capita? like the cogitating cap?

patton would love untitled goat game

you tried you failed let’s go to sleep

booyakasha

logan you can’t just call virgil a defeatist

virgil’s face

and he just sinks out without saying anything

am so soft for the boy

roman name reveal!

hey roman

yes?

you’re my hero

SOBBING ENABLED

MY LIFE IS A LIEE

time for my favorite debate, much better than any political debates

analogical time

this could have been a logan centric video if virgil didn’t pop up

wow

we get it, you don’t want me here, but i’m here

i want you here

virgil please be in the video tomorrow

i too call upon very specific facts to feel secure

how bruised is roman

cardigan-clad clod aka me

same, cream based broths upset my tummy unless i take lactaid

wait logan can’t be objective?

haagen daaz dispersion

bad imaginary

vocab word!

a debate *snap*

i wanna be the supreme dark overlord of negative commerce

RIGGED

please help me *screams in agony*

me me big boy

too much pressure, nooo

do they groan in disgust about the butterflies in his tummy because they feel that way about each other or-

this is better than any political debate

TBD = totally believable dude

when did they vote on logan’s proficiency plan i wanna see this

of course it’s not a straight answer no one in this video is straight-

the first FALSEHOOD

did he just hiss at me

i’m right, you’re wrong, shut up

that’s a try guys reference

savage

this is stupid he’s stupid i’m out

LOGAN DOESN’T MIND VIRGIL’S COMPANY

your mom misses you

visual puns are great

amazing!

uhhhh

uhhh

mmmmmmm

no virgil you’re not alone

same patton, i’m always confused

surly temple is one of my favorite nicknames

NEIGH

MOO

BAAA

word association games return

don’t you dare turn breakfast food into a negative metaphor

was this really a necessary visual

screaming

voltron shirt *hits joan*

me watching sanders sides late into the night

great odin’s eyepatch!

well then it’s just 5am and you need to go to bed

keep it up so we get to see virgil more thanks

i’ve dreamed of this moment

NECKTIE

anatomically, thomas is fine

what is the gosh-darn-ding-dang point

adulto

so mean to patton

darude sanderstorm

i want to bounce in a bouncy castle

i want to join a book club with joan and thomas

verisimilitudinous

*gasp* not the necktie

you are the man. you look like the man. i fight the man. i want to fight you now.

janus also fights the man so-

you stole my look

is no one going to acknowledge that he just dabbed

logan asks for patton’s help when they can’t figure out what’s wrong

danny devito reference

mind palace!

star thingies

poor virgil and his eyes

adequate

EEYORE REFERENCE THANKS FOR NOTICING ME

for reference eeyore has always been my favorite disney character

and virgil is my fave

see any connections there

patton-cake

patton name reveal!

growing older is scary but being a kid was also scary because i didn’t know what was going on with my identity

patton understands virgil so well. cries. maybe the asides will fix their relationship

ECHO

listen buddy don’t blame us just because your mind is so empty

that was definitely roman

i didn’t know you made jokes like that

changing...evolving...mutating

why don’t we talk more?

uh oh, feelings

more sentimental than on avalanche

it is flippin sweet man

with you i’m always home-

additional affirmation

whaddup anxiety

if virgil is upset when thomas isn’t near his friends then isolation really has to be messing with him

joan!logan is amazing

terrence!patton though

he/him pronouns all around~

another danny devito reference

okay but talyn!virgil is the best

hissing

breaking the fourth wall? 

single column?

aw patton loves thomas

hehe butt

“we are not actually your friends”

...what

VIKINGMETAL

BIBLIOTECA

i love libraries

I AM FRAIL AND BREAKABLE

a man of many talyn’s

also i didn’t make as many comments on this one because it’s 11pm and i’m starting to get a bit sleepy

[waeziverse]

Royal Punch (chapter 8)

“Okay…” Nora took off her glasses and cleaned them. “This is on me. I should have seen this coming and I didn’t warn you.”

Ivan looked at the plants that had ruined his windows and slowly retracted themselves, like some sort of snakes that returned to their cave. “Yeah, I would have liked to be prepared for this.”

“Honestly, I never thought this would happen. Dimi’s mother wasn’t a plantmancer, neither was her grandmother.”

“So, Dimi can create plants? Why is she attacking us.”

“She is not. Well, not exactly, it’s a defense mechanism. It takes a toll on her body and drains her for energy as her body adjusts to her new power. And if she becomes TOO tired and even falls asleep, she will have a hard time waking up again. And as a defense mechanism she will unconsciously create plants to guard her.”

“Okay, but how do we stop this mechanism?” Ivan asked.

“First thing first, we need a way to be prepared for when the situation escalates. NO, Ivan, the situation hasn’t escalated just yet.” Ivan closed his mouth, he hated it when Nora answered his questions before he got to answer them. “Your house being the home of a plant octopus is small potatoes. Plant magic is rare, but it is also very powerful. One of Dimi’s ancestors, queen Dornröschen, spread terror and destruction-“

"What in tarnation happened here?!”

Nora and Ivan turned their attention toward the old satyr Sunmut who had picked the absolute worst day to drop by for a visit. The old goat looked as if he was about to have a stroke as he stared at the plant monster that had made its home in Ivan’s house.

“Um.” Ivan couldn’t say anything else as he tried to come up with an explanation that did not involve the words it, is or complicated. “Well, sir, you see-”

“A wizard did it.” Nora interrupted Ivan before he made a bad situation worse.

Sunmut looked at the house for a moment. Then he looked annoyed. “Those dang humans! You would think the orcs had done something about that cursed lot!” Then he looked at Nora. “Ah, no offence, young lady.”

“None taken.” Nora scratched the hat that hid her pointy ears and the fact that she was an elf. Once the old creature had left, she turned her attention toward Ivan. “As I was saying… Queen Dornröschen spread terror and destruction since no one stopped the defense mechanism in time. Her plants grew bigger and bigger and it became impossible to try and save the castle. But there is another problem: Dimi’s young body is not ready for magic of this size. It takes energy and stamina, part of why she falls asleep, and if it goes on for too long, she might actually die.”

“DIE?!”

“Yes, OR she will be stuck in there for at least fifty years. So we have more than one reason to do something quickly. The plants will grow and try to get out of your house. When they do, we must cut them down.”

“Alright.” Ivan pondered for a moment. “Then we need backup.”

“Ivan, no one can know who Dimi really is!”

“Don’t worry, I trust her with my life. I will be back as soon as possible, man the fort till I’m back.”

Nora wanted to protest as the minotaur ran for the so-called backup. The short elf looked at the chopping stump where an ax had been left on. She took the ax and looked at the house. “Don’t mess with me!” Nora yelled half-heartedly. The whole house creaked, making the elf take a step backward while tightening her grip on the ax.

***

Aura tied the griffin Hothoof with a rope to the fence. The big animal was displeased by this but accepted it since it respected the sphinx as it’s “pack leader”.

“I know you don’t like not being allowed to fly around as you please.” Aura stroke the giant half-bid-half-lion animal as one would stroke a cat. “But you can't fly properly with a damaged wing. But the nice faun doctor will come and have a look, then you will get back in the sky with the others in no time.” The griffin purred as Aura rubbed it on it’s beak.

Once Aura had made sure the rope was tied properly, she went to take a look at two of her other griffins that flew over her farm.

Magnificent animals, but difficult to raise. They needed freedom to fly, but you also had to make them respect you enough so they wouldn’t fly away. Only after you had made them understand who was in charge could you try and make them like you. The fact that Aura had three grown griffins that liked her said a thing or two about her abilities with animals. Then again, she had worked with them ever since she had left the army as a young girl and moved to the kingdom of Nesredna. She had worked from the bottom as stable-girl till five years ago where she could finally afford starting her own farm near the village of Jadedale.

She was quite happy that she had picked Jadedale for several reasons.

One of these reasons actually came, half an hour before he had promised to come.

“Ivan!“ Aura smiled as she waved at the minotaur who came running as if something was on fire. “Relax, you came way to earl-”

“Aura, I need help!” The giant bull-man looked terrified. “You have to come with me to my house! I will explain later.”

Aura did not hesitate and transformed to her beast form. “Hop on, I will fly you home.”

Ivan hopped on the back of the sphinx and the creature lept from the ground. She flew to Ivan’s home as she saw something that looked like a tentacles coming out of the doors, windows and holes that the thing had made in the house. And it moved it’s “arms” with red thorns left and right as if it was desperate to get out. She recognized Nora who looked like she tried to attack the things with a household ax. Nora looked up and noticed them. “FINALLY! I’m just about to get a heart attack here! Dimi has become worse.”

Aura looked at the insane scenario as she was about to land. She had just reacted on Ivan being terrified. Now she began to wonder what was going on as she saw the problem.

“Wait, I’m sorry, WHAT?!” Aura turned back to normal and looked baffled at Ivan. “Dimi is a what now?! What the hell is going on?””

Ivan sighed. “Okay, how do I explain this… You remember when the orcs conquered the kingdom?”

Aura shrugged. “Sure, that happened. And life went on.”

“Remember how we were told the human king Pater had gotten captured?”

“Um… yes?”

“And do you remember that the king had a daughter?”

“Ah, yes? Sure, her name was Dama-something-something.“

"Dimicatio.”

“Oh, right. Dimicatio. Kinda sounds like a fancy version of Dimi’s-” Aura paused herself as her eyes grew wide. “Dimi… Dimi…” The lion-lady pointed at the garden nightmare. "Dimi?”

“Yep.” Ivan groaned as he pointed once again at his plant-infested home. “Dimi. Long story short, now she does human magic without controlling it.”

Aura looked at the house. Then she looked at Ivan.

And then she punched him on his right arm.

“OUCH!?“ Ivan rubbed his arm. “What was that for?”

“You lying rat!” Aura growled at Ivan. “You told me she was your god-daughter!”

“She is my god-daughter!”

“What? HOW!?”

“It’s complicated.”

Aura made a terrifying and VERY angry face at the bull-man. “I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOU COMPLICATED BULLSH-”

“Ahem.”

Ivan and Aura turned their attention toward the short person who looked tired and sweaty who dropped the ax. “Sorry to interrupt.” Nora said. “But can this… thing wait till after we got Dimi out of that mess? Preferably before the townspeople arrive and start to ask questions.”

Aura sighed. “So is she even Dimi’s aunt?”

“I’m not even human.” Nora took off her hat, revealing her pointy ears. “Long story, can wait. What is important now is that I need time to figure out how to solve this mess. So we need to cut down as much of that plant as possible.”

“So you need me to do some gardening? Not a problem.” Aura stretched her arms as she rocked her head left and right. She gave Ivan a glare. “When this is over, I’m gonna have a word with you, Mr. Minotaur.”

Ivan sighed and shrugged. “That’s fair.”

The winged stout lion-woman went down on all four and was moments later replaced with the human-faced winged lion-monster that roared as it charged toward Ivan’s house. One of the vines tried to strike her as if it had been a gigantic whip, but Aura simply buried her razor-sharp teeth into it and shook it violently as if she were a dog pulling a rope. And she DID pull, she pulled the vine so hard that she ripped it off. As several smaller vines attacked her, Aura’s claws appeared on her massive paws as she went nuts on her botanic foe.

Nora was stunned as she watched from a distance. “She is bad-ass!“

Ivan smiled like a love-sick idiot. “I know… But what do we do about this? How do we… wake up Dimi? Would that be enough?”

“Indeed it would and the solution is somewhat simple yet almost impossible.” Nora put on her hat again and looked rather annoyed. “Dimi just needs a true love’s kiss.”

Ivan looked at Nora with disbelief written all over his face. “Sorry, what?”

“You heard me. As I said, the plants are a defense mechanism. She is tired and weak and feels very vulnerable. So a kiss from a loved one will make her feel safe and calm her down… And yes, it sounds odd, but that’s human magic for ya. It’s something that should not be a problem since a parent who loves their child can provide said kiss. But-”

“But Dimi’s father is in prison, COME ON!!!!” Ivan lifted his fists threatening toward the sky. “GIVE ME A BREAK!”

Yeah, and I doubt the orcs will let Pater out for a few hours if we ask them nicely. So, we have to get that kiss another way. So…” Nora coughed. “Do you know if Dimi is… dating anyone?”

“What? Ah… I don’t think so?” Ivan did not like the way this conversation was going. Then he took a look at the woman of his dreams fighting a losing battle against the vines from the house with her claws, fangs and guts. “I asked her once, but that annoyed her.”

Nora slapped her face. “You asked a teenager if she was dating anyone?! Ivan, COME ON! YOU SUCK!”

“I was curious.”

“You don’t ask a young girl questions like that. Dear lords, you suck!”

“Nora, that is not-”

“Never mind.” Nora sighed. “Look, I will go to Onyxville and pull some strings, hoping to find an alternative solution to this problem. You must go around town and hopefully find someone who loves Dimi. It doesn’t even have to be mutual.”

Ivan gave Nora a tired look. “Yeah! Big, tall bull-guy walking around and asking people if they love his protégée is a great idea.”

“We have no better options! I’m gonna get myself a horse or something.”

As Ivan watched the elf leave as fast as she could and then took a look at the violent creature that was the love of his life trying her best to fight the plants, he decided that the best place to start would be at Agate’s place.

***

The dwarf woman raised a thick eyebrow at the minotaur at her front-door.

“That’s… an interesting question, Ivan.”

Ivan felt ridicules. “Look, I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t an emergency. Did she mention to you or your daughter anything about being romantically involved with anyone?”

“Why are you asking? Oh no, is Dimi preg-”

“NO, SHE IS NOT!” Ivan felt as if he was about to explode. “There is a problem, but it’s not… that. But it is important for me to know.”

Agate looked at Ivan. It was clear that it was of the greatest importance to him.

“Wait here, I will get Amethyst.

Moments later, the girl with the fluffy beard stood in front of Ivan and looked up at the tall minotaur.

“Amethyst, you HAVE to tell me, right now, if you know about anyone that Dimi loves. Don’t” Ivan stopped Amethyst from starting a teen girl rant. “I have to know. I can’t tell you why, but I have to know. Please.”

Amethyst groaned. “Mr. Ivan, Dimi is not in love with anyone. Actually, now that I think about it, she gets sort of defensive whenever I wanted to ask her. Not as if she was embarrassed, she just did not want to talk about it.”

“Dammit.” Ivan grabbed his own horns as if he wanted to rip them off his own head. “Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!”

“Right…” Amethyst gave Ivan a concerned look before closing the door. “Have a nice day, Mr. Ivan.”

***

Aura huffed and puffed as she reverted to her humanoid form. Dead plant parts were scattered everywhere as she had gone crazy on the damn thing that was growing out of Dimi. But the plant vines kept growing and the vines she had cut down or chewed off were quickly replaced with new one before a minute had passed. Aura licked the wounds on her arm as Ivan returned. He did not look happy as he grabbed his ax.

“How did it go?” Aura dried her forehead for sweat. “What is it that can… fix this?“

“It doesn’t matter.” Ivan cracked his neck. “I just have to cut down the whole thing to save Dimi.”

Ivan charged toward the thicket from hell before Aura could object. He chopped and slashed like a mad man as he got whipped and got scratches all over his forearms. Aura returned to her monster-form so she could bite Ivan’s collar and drag Ivan away like a mother-cat would drag away a kitten.

“Ivan, stop.” Aura dropped Ivan on the ground after getting far enough away from the house that was more like bricks and wood that somewhat still resembled the shape of a house. “You are gonna get yourself killed.” As Ivan was about to stand up, Aura placed one of her massive paws on his chest and pinned him to the ground.

“My little- I mean, Dimi is still inside. I have to save her!”

“Ivan, I mean it. Stop.” The face of the giant lion monster looked at the minotaur with pity and sympathy. “We wait for Nora, she MIGHT have a solution. I’m sorry, I know you care for that girl as if she were your own, but you can’t do anything besides maybe getting yourself killed.”

Ivan sighed as he stopped trying to get himself free. But then, his eyes widened as he realized something. “Wait… You are right. I really do, don’t I?!” Aura looked confused as Ivan began to laugh in relief. “Aura, you wonderful woman, I LOVE YOU BEYOND BELIEF!”

Aura lifted an eyebrow. “Ah… I love you as well, but what are you talking about?”

“I have a plan!” Ivan looked determined as he stood up from the dirt. “I need you to fly me across the roof. Trust me.”

Aura bent her forelegs so that Ivan could get up on her back while armed with his ax. As they flew above the roof, the plant-tentacles tried to reach for them like a hungry animal.

“Here. This is perfect.” Ivan looked at the roof as if he was aiming for something. “I’m getting off here. Wish me luck!” And then he jumped off of Aura’s back and landed on the roof. Then, he began making a hole in said roof.

“IVAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” Aura roared as she landed on the roof as well. Plants began to reach for them and Aura did her best defending her beloved that had apparently lost it as he kept chopping the roof.

“YES! That’s it!” Ivan succeeded in making his hole to Dimi’s bedroom. He jumped down the hole and saw that Dimi still lied on the bed. Her body was covered by greenery the same way a child was covered by sand when they buried themselves with it on the beach. Only Dimi’s face was still free. A big branch was connected to Dimi that had crushed a hole in the wall that it then moved through. Ivan’s guess was that it was the root where everything else grew from.

But that did not matter. What mattered was whether or not his theory was right. “Please let this work.” Ivan whispered to himself as he took a step closer to the unconscious Dimi. “Please, please, please let this work.”

Then he screamed in pain as smaller vines appeared from Dimi’s “quilt” whipped him and then tied themselves around him. Ivan pulled his arms free as he took another step closer and now stood at the bedside.

Ivan took in a deep breath and then breather out as he slowly placed his lips on Dimi’s forehead.

***

Aura desperately clawed her way out of the vines that had covered her as if they were a cocoon. She growled as she saw a massive branch about to hit her.

And then, it just stopped moving.

Aura studied the thing that had been just about to try and kill her. Cautiously, she stepped closer, sniffing the damn thing. It was completely still.

“AURA!” Ivan yelled from his hole. “Aura, please come help me! It’s all over now!”

The lion-creature smashed the roof above Dimi’s bedroom so a hole big enough for her would appear. The floor creaked as she landed on it. Ivan held Dimi in his massive and bloody arms. The human girl looked as if she was half asleep and sea-sick.

“I feel awful…” Dimi coughed. “And I’m hungry.”

“It’s okay, girl.” Ivan smiled as if he repressed a laugh of joy. “I’m here, I’m taking care of you.” Ivan looked at Aura who looked relieved as she turned to her usual form. “Could you help me get her down to the kitchen?”

***

Dimi devoured the whole bread as if her life depended on it and then attacked the mushroom salad. Meanwhile, Aura and Ivan studied the house that had been ravaged. The ton of plants lied lifeless around. Ivan had removed enough of the green to open his front door. Outside, Nora stood and explained to a couple of the townspeople what she wanted them to think had happened.

“What a disaster!” Sunmut the old satyr looked at the blacksmith’s home with his old weak eyes. “What sort of wizard does such a thing?”

“The cheap kind that refuses to pay his bills.” Nora shrugged. “It makes me sad to speak about my species like that, but humans can be rather relentless as well as petty.”

The gathering of creatures all agreed that humans could be quite petty, especially now after the orc’s takeover.

“I’m so sorry.” Dimi had finished eating and had been told what had happened.

“Not your fault, girl.” Ivan patted Dimi on the head. “All that matters is that you get better, you need to rest as much as possible.”

“Yeah, I have to get ready for next week’s fight.”

“NO. Absolutely not. I won’t let you work for a week, AND I won’t let you fight before at least two have passed.”

“What?! But-”

“No buts. You are benched till I say something else. You could have gotten killed, I won’t let you do anything too energy require for a while and boxing as it is is not harmless even WHEN you are in shape.”

Dimi pouted. “Whatever mom.”

***

They all went to Aura’s farm.

Dimi had been sent to bed after she had to her great annoyance been kissed goodnight by Ivan who took no chances. She slept in Aura’s guest room. In the kitchen, Ivan had just finished explaining everything to Aura.

“And you honestly think it is a good idea to let Dimi get into a fist-fight with an orc?” Aura asked.

“Honestly? I don’t know at this point. She surprises me, she is extremely stubborn and she is actually a talented fighter. And besides, once she reaches the age of eighteen, I can’t tell her what to do. I might as well prepare her as best as I can.”

“That’s not the same as saying that you should encourage her.”

“It gives her hope. I don’t know how I would feel if it was MY dad who was in the slammer.” Ivan sighed. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. But I have been sworn to secrecy.”

“I get it, I get it. Still…” Aura frowned. “You should know that you could have trusted me.”

Ivan nodded, looking ashamed. Then, he yawned. “I better get some sleep. I just lost my home, I have to figure out what to do tomorrow. The forge is still somehow intact, so I can still work… Can we live here? Just… for a few days?”

Aura did not answer right away. Then, she smiled. “You know… the two of you could just… live here. Period.”

Ivan blinked. “Oh?”

“Yes, but I have a condition.” Aura smiled as she stood up from the table. “You have to do it right. You have to get down on your knees and… Well, you can probably guess the rest.”

It took a moment before Ivan realized that Aura was serious. Ivan smiled from one ear to the other as he got down on his knees and grabbed Aura’s left hand and held it as he asked her the question.

[bolbianddolanhouse]

Book 2 FAQ!

Book 1 FAQ Beginning of Book 2

Dang y’all, 14 chapters done for Book 2! It’s been a little bit of a struggle to hash them out on time BUT I deliver. I’ve asked, y’all keyboard smashed in my inbox...let’s get INTO IT!

4 KIDS?!

Yep. And all 4 of them are full of personality! I guess I dreamt them up to convey all of the unspoken parts of the My Hero universe (canon or not). 

Are the kid’s names in relation to their abilities?

No unfortunately, they’re names are based on their personalities/the major event that happened around the time they were born (no spoilers about it tho! Gotta read book 3 to know why!). Lili Perla is based off of Pearl from Steven Universe and their character type. Iwata El Roca is a nod to Luchador’s names and a character that passed away in the AU to honor them. Tensei Oro is a play on their family position, Tensei was the first born twin and his uncle was the first born, Oro is spanish for ‘gold’ and it’s a play on being first (ya know, because they give gold medals for 1st place!). Hanaka Rosa is a double trope name, Hanaka (Japanese: hana- flower, ka- power) is a nod to the tough girls with flower names in anime and Rosa (spanish: Rose) is a name used in telenovelas as the woman that causes all the romantic tension. I did the whole Japanese first name, Spanish middle name because thats what I want to do when I do have kids.

Why did Mineta have to be in this AU?

I hear you! The thing is that I DREAMT it like this. He’s the slightly incompetent teacher that gets dunked on by the parents. Good news is that he’s single and isn’t as gross in this part of the AU. He’s this AU’s punching bag if you will.

It was weird when you wrote in hate-crime/dorm incident bc I didn’t think about it that way...Why did you decide to explore it?

That part felt important to me to write. Yes the canon shows like actual crimes of different intensities, but not nessatreily hate-crimes done in schools. As you know, being LGBTQA+ in grade school is a terrifying thing to express if don’t want to stand out. The constant fear of peers judging you, bullies hurting you and teachers that seemingly don’t care about you if you come out is enough to silence anybody. Imagine that but in a hero school?! The hate-crime would be a villainous act and the culprit would have to do desperate measures to make sure nobody rats on them to maintain a clean image/record. Plus on the flip side, any ally that stands up for their oppressed peer is hailed the hero but they wouldn’t have to stand up for them if there were real consequences and punishment for the bullies. So in the AU, I wrote it how I’d want such hate-crimes to be handled. Not only justice but also accommodations for the victim.

The Mcdonalds order cracks me up! What is your Mcdonalds order?

I throughly enjoyed the Mcdonalds order part too. It’s a nod to the proposal in Book 1 when they went to Mcdonalds before the peer over. I wrote it to show that the family goes every now and then. My order is: Triple Cheeseburger, Large fries, Large sweet tea, 2 sausage and egg McMuffins & a cone. And yes, there will be a Mcdonalds order for every child because it drives the plot.

Will there be more interactions with the pro heroes from the canon series?

YES! Though old, theres more interactions planned with them. Of course, it’s all in Book 3 (trying not to spoil anything!).

Is it spoiler if you tell us if your kids (or one of them) becomes a villain?

I’ll tell y’all right now....NONE of my kids becomes a villain. It might look like one or two of them might from the way I wrote them but they’re just latina.

Will one of your kids be the next Ingenium?

Yes but I won’t tell you which one. But I can’t wait to reveal it to y'all!

I see all the call-backs to your self insert character’s past...Is it alluding to the conclusion?

I dreamt it as such and I fixed it in writing as a way to come full circle. Notice that Lili didn’t get any of her mom’s past from her mom? It wasn’t until when she confronted her on the couch in chapter 13. Even then, it wasn’t the full story nor did it fill in all the cracks and time skips after her mom’s time at UA. In Book 3, we explore more of the past. The conclusion is yet to be revealed.

How big is that house?!

It’s a little hard to explain? I want to say its big but parts of the house are disproportionate. It’s a two story house with no attic nor basement, 3 bath room, Master bedroom, 2 large bedrooms, office space, guest room, full kitchen, dining room, large living room, three car garage and a decent size backyard. What I’m trying to say that it’s big enough for that chaotic ass family.

Where’s Aizawa?!

Let the mans rest! He’s alive but he’s busy being a grandpa and taking naps. 

Canon villains OwO?

Y’all ate UP the Dabi surrender in Book 1 and his little mention in Book 2. But in this AU (not to spoil anything to anime only and manga dabblers) the League of Villains are still rampant but dispersed. In Book 3 (and part of Book 4) they pop in to drive the plot from a canon storyline. In the series, the rookie Hawks has been seen as a double agent and exposes a corrupt Hero Society. Same concept but in this AU, Hawks has gone missing when he failed to kill Best Jeanist. Here’s where the kids go into play BUT more on that as the plot progresses!

I really want to see art of these OCs! I wanna see how Iida’s genes transferred over to his kids!

I hear y'all! I’ve slid into DM during commission windows and have the means to pay for some line art at least...but with no responses. I’ve got my self insert character done in this post if you wanna check it out plus the artist was super sweet during the whole process. I may commission them again when they got a window of commissions open. But I may do a lineart of the kid’s faces in the near future.

What if....hypothetically....Shinso stayed?

Oh boy, okay so the Shinso stans have BOMBARDED my asks since the last arc of Book 1. So what if Shinso stayed...obviously I wouldn’t have 4 kids, just the one that we were gonna have. We wouldn’t be married and overall just be loveless the more we see our friends get married and start families. The company would still be there but delayed by 5 years or so. Our son would grow up to convince me and Shinso to separate when they get at around High school age. Tenya still wouldn’t have said anything but done the reunited part differently. I would’ve considered cheating but morals would’ve stopped me. Eventually, when our son decides to move out, we’d stay as housemates and basically die alone....aren’t you glad this AU isn’t such a downer?! Luckily things are patched up with my self insert and Shinso, because he comes into play in Book 3!

Eri Nurse! In your AU!

Yup! I’ve actually read some NurseEri! AUs on twitter and Tumblr (btw, some of y’all that like my posts have good taste in fics!) and it manifested in my dreams and created UA Nurse Eri. She shows up a few more times in the AU, so don’t fret if Eri is your fave.

Is it okay if I follow you on a different platform? Do you have another social media that I can follow you on?

You can follow me on Twitter (@oketsusama). It’s my personal twitter that I repost memes and get my news from. So it’s not as poppin as my Tumblr, but at least it’s AU free over there lmao.

What’s you favorite rare pair in the My Hero canon storyline?

Oh! and DON’T hate me, but I stan the Sero x Iida rare pair! There’s crumbs of the pair on twitter and here but the ones that I did read got me in tears. If you haven’t seen this tag on twitter and Tumblr, DO IT! The one on twitter had a lot of angst in it and it got me HOOKED on some of that goofball with their geeky partner energy.

Not a question, but I like your //Palma-sama Speaks in the tags. They’re funny and makes your posts that much more personalized.

I will cry! Thanks for reading that far! I like doing the ‘talking in the tags’ thing to basically point out the callbacks to new readers that stumbled upon that chapter of the AU. 

How long is this AU?!

It’s quite long BUT the ending is marvelous, trust. 

============================================

Thanks for reading! That’s all the asks for now, keep asking them! I love reading them. Next is the finale of Book 2! Everything will still come out 2-3 days of each other until further notice. Stay safe, drink water!

-Palma-Sama

[cynicalkairos]

Fucking Jackalopes

Pairing: Professor Hidgens / Ted Richards (tedgens)

Word Count: 1,223

Summary: This is the one time Ted’s ramblings lead to multiple discoveries (and good ones too). 

Warnings: Language (dang it Ted), light smut, and implied smut

A/N: This is my first fic. I wrote this instead of sleeping because I couldn’t get it out of my head, so yeah! Hope you like it!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You know, I know jack shit about science, but I can tell you one thing, Henry, the jackalope is real. I mean, I know that the unicorns are total bullshit. But jackalopes, they’re fucking real—“

Truth be told, Henry zoned out a long time ago.

Of course, he could rarely tune Ted out completely… especially when he’s standing as close as he was.

Due to their close proximity, Henry heard Ted’s mumbling clearly despite his own hearing decreasing and Ted lowering the volume of his voice. He felt the fabric of his shift brush up against him every time Ted raised the mug of coffee up to those perfect lips—

“Good god, Hidgens,” he thought to himself, squeezing his eyes shut. “Get yourself together.”

Ever since Ted joined him in his lab for hours and hours on end, he began noticing the different features that created his Ted. Ted would sometimes come in while drunk and just badger him with questions until Henry paid attention to him. Other times, Ted would watch him work silently and listen to Henry’s explanations of the procedure of the experiment or the use of the chemicals that he was using. However, this event where Ted joined him in the early morning and it was just the two of them was rare. It was his ideal combination of the two situations, taking Ted’s drunken rumbling and his sober physique in. Honestly, this was when Henry found him the most attractive.

Henry glanced over at Ted briefly and took in the figure leaning on the countertop beside him. He could tell that Ted had just woken up due to his clothes and overall disheveled state. Then Henry’s eyes traveled up to his face and gazed at his face. The stubble scattered on his neck and jaw accented his jawline and cheekbones, creating a shadow that highlighted his already stunning features perfectly. And those lips— oh god, the ones that said his name like a melody that won every single—

“Henry?”

Henry suddenly returned to reality and blinked a few times.

“Shit, Hidgens, you’ve done it again,” he thought while clearing his throat. Then he looked back into the microscope to mask his growing blush, mumbling, “Yes, Ted?”

“Are jackalopes real?” Ted asked sincerely.

Henry chuckled at his tone. For a second, if he didn’t smell the coffee from the cup, he would have thought Ted was drunk. “No, I am reluctant to say it, but they’re not. How did you come to this realization?”

“Well, I was just thinking about how being a jackalope would fucking suck. I mean, I wouldn’t want to be some monster that gets locked up as the opening act in a freak show or anything like that. I’d rather live in a tiny burrow in the ground and die of old age or cancer—“

“Cancer?” Henry muttered and he paused to gather his thoughts. Then he furiously adjusted the microscope.

Henry jerked his head to up to Ted and admired him for a brief second, a soft smile gracing his face. With a shake of his head, he stood up and planted himself in front of Ted. He gingerly took the mug out of his hands and placed it on the surface behind him.

Ted looked at him with drowsy confusion lacing his features as he let himself be maneuvered. He asked quietly, “Henry, what the fuck are you doing?”

The question echoed in his head because truly what the fuck was he doing. Henry gazed back in Ted’s eyes for a moment and felt his face flush deeply. He rested his hands on his jaw and ran his thumb along the rough five o’clock shadow, adverting his eyes to his lips. He definitely did not feel Ted’s jaw drop in shock and even more so did not notice Ted’s fingers approaching his turtleneck. Henry took a deep breath and looked back into his eyes, moving ever so slightly closer to those perfect lips.

“I’m thanking the man who saved the entirety of human life on Earth.”

At that moment, Henry pressed a gentle kiss onto Ted’s lips and just as he began to move away, Ted’s hands closed around the fabric and reeled him in closer, stripping the kiss of any prior innocence. Ted deepened the kiss and shifted his hands down Henry’s body to his hips. Henry let out a soft gasp and ran his free hand through the already messy hair with a gentle tug. 

Soon after, Ted pulled away gently, leaning his forehead on Henry’s. They breathed slowly for a moment until Ted looked up at Henry and said, “Again, Henry, what the fuck was that?” 

Henry gaped at him for a moment and unconsciously played with Ted’s hair, calculating the proper words to say like before, but his mind failed him. He frowned and stumbled, saying slowly, “Well, Ted, I... I— good god. I... like you, Ted.”

A small smile grew on Ted’s face and he chuckled in amusement. “You like me, Henry? You sound like a teenager.”

“Don’t make me say it like that again,” he muttered, glancing away in embarrassment. Then he regained his composure and sighed. “But, if you don’t reciprocate my... feelings, then I understand and we can just forget—”

Ted silenced him with another kiss, his hold on his hips tightening. Henry pulled away and frowned, continuing, “That doesn’t answer my question—”

Ted kissed him on the cheek and then proceeding to his jaw, before whispering in his ear, “For the love of God, Henry, of course, I find you attractive. Like, holy shit, have you seen yourself? Those turtlenecks do you no justice and every justice all at once.”

This statement caused Henry to blush severely, red covering his cheeks and down to his neck, as Ted continued to place kisses on his neck and surrounding area. “Ted...” 

“And your hips— I didn’t know that you could move them like that until—”

“Ted!” Henry mumbled loudly, before relaxing once more and smiling softly. “Kiss me again, will you?”

Ted nodded enthusiastically and kissing him with more passion than done previously. Letting himself go, Henry allowed Ted to switch their positions and pushed him into the counter.

However, in doing so, Henry accidentally kicked the cabinet door and created a large crash that resounded throughout the silence of the house, unbeknownst to Ted and Henry.

“Professor? Professor? Are you okay? I heard a...” Emma yelled as she came in and soon trailed off.

At the sound, the two separated and Henry looked at Emma with wide eyes. “Emma! I can explain.”

Emma only smirked and stifled laughter at the two men looking completely disheveled and, in turn, guilty. Henry had the end of his turtleneck beginning to peek out of his belt and Ted’s hair looked like a complete rat’s nest.

“Professor, I’m talking to you later. Have fun, you two, and remember to wrap it before you tap it!” 

“Emma!” Henry fumbled out and turned even redder, while Ted laughed into his shoulder.

She then turned around and closed the door, but they could still hear, “Paul! You owe me ten bucks!”

After she left, Henry looked at Ted and laughed along with him, pulling him into his embrace. Softly, he mumbled into Ted’s hair, “All of this because of some fucking jackalopes.”

A/N: Criticism is welcome, just be kind! Hope you liked it! :)

[thewheezingbubbledragon]

Mass Effect Chats ft. Me and My Bro

(For context we both forgot Thane (the Drell aka Grasshopper Man)'s name) Bro: THANE!! That's his name.

Me: YES!

Me:...

Me: Thane-ks for reminding me.

Bro: *deep sigh*

Bro:...

Bro: I should've Thane that comin.

Me: EYYY

Upon finding a powered down Big Boi Mech: *GASP* HIS NAME IS CARL.

Bro, referring to Carl as he helps us in our quest: He walks like a boss.

Me: or a 2 y/o having a tamtrum

Bro: or like a 2 y/o who just took a dump

Me: okay, take it from someone who works with 2 year olds, they are disturbingly good at hiding when they've taken a dump the size of Ireland.

Carl, exploding bc they're a faulty mech and thats why they were abandoned: BZZZTTT

Me: CAAARRRLLL NOOOO!!!!

RIP Carl, 2010-Whenever you reach that side mission.

Me, as Shepard activates a hologram device thing: Oh boi we are in the matrix.

Me: Either that or a honeycomb.

Bro: Imma sneeze. *sneezes*

Me: RIP your sinuses btw.

Miranda(slightly stiff, Aussie, GMO girl, with an attitude and also a gun so dont make her mad bc she will shoot you) during a random side mission: It's an ambush!

Bro, as the distant cries of angry creatures echo through the valley: well duh.

Me: is that a deer?

Me: oh it's a dead varren nevermind.

After my brother and I spent 10 minutes laughing @ didney worl memes we try to have a serious conversation with Mordin: oh I'm so sorry about... Your assistant... Buddy... *snort* IM SORRY OKAY!

Me:...

Me, softly: didney worl...

Me, speaking about Miranda being seemingly unable to stand in a way that isnt a model pose: does she not ever pose like a normal person--oh nice shot of her butt, camera crew, we needed that.

Bro: Garrus... Doesnt want to talk to me... Garrus I'm sorry... :((

Me, sniffling: Don't cry, then Garrus will cry too :(((

Jack: *says the f-word twice in one conversation*

Me in a Vine voice: watch your profanity.

Me: Tali and Liara are best girl. You can't change my mind.

*door closes behind us a/o prompting*

Me: the door closed bc it knew I was right and was trying to prove my point.like a mic drop but less impressive.

Stuffy jerk politician dude to Grunt: You mention great warlords... But you were bred by a syringe.

Me:...

Me: Boi you better catch these hands.

Shepard: There's a krogan on my team, he has some sort of sickness, is there anything you can do for him?

Wrex: he is not sick, he is growing into a full blood krogan.

Me: oh dang I forgot I was right about puberty...

Grunt after being offered a position by stuffy politician guy after successfully wiping the floor with the rite of passage: You disrespect my father, Shepard, and my name and only now you respect me for my power?!

Shepard:

Bro: *gasp* what does a bebby krogan look like??

Me:...probably wrinkly.

Wrex, wearing his upgraded armor: I. AM. KROGAN.

Me, knowing full well his suit looks like Iron man armor: And you're doing amazing sweetie.

Me: we [humans] got comlimented by the Nerd Scientist and I've never been more proud.

Shepard's random fight dialogue after Angry Krogan Leader finiahes ranting: We've been spotted.

Bro, calmly running for cover: Yes. Yes we have.

Grunt: Nothing can hurt me.

Me: I feel like that's not true. You've yet to experience emotional pain.

Mordin, best nerdy boi, a Salarian and therefore in his last Decade of his 40 year lifespan: Went to Omega, opened clinic. Wanted to heal. Help people. Good use of last decade.

Me, crying: I'm so sorry for quizzing you with mean paragon questions I love you so much baby I'm sorry...

Shepard, literally every time she picks up an upgrade: I ' L L T A K E I T

Me: sToP YElLiNg.

Me, actively weeping @ Joker(best human side character ever seriously, talk to him every time you get a chance he's amazing) and Edi's(ship AI with a propensity to egg Joker on bc she thinks its funny and is also adorable fite me) budding friendship throuhout ME2: F R I E N D S H I P *crying intensifies* (I havent played the 3rd game yet dont tell me if theyre an item: there arent enough wholesome friendships in media okay?)

Shepard, stopping Mordin from murdering a disgusting rat who mutilated people in effort to do something stupid and morally complicated: murder is wrong.

Mordin: hm. You right. (Indirect quote)

Me & Bro @ the Scottish and New York engineers: 10/10 amazing side characters. More of them please.