#you have no idea how many times i've been caught with those walls of texts lol

[randomnameless]

When someone mentioned how 3H and specifically Supreme Leader was tiring to talk about. I get why now. It's not just the infuriating bullying and victim blaming rhetoric and tactics but it's also repetitive as hell and it always come down to "Rhea bad" "Supreme Leader good and her racism justified" or my personal favorite (/s) "mole terrorist hate group who are cartoonishly eeevil and wants to annihilate everyone and everything might have a point".

Eh...

Defending a fave has always been a thing in fandoms, but the arguments throwns around for FE16 are just... wow.

I didn't make a comparison, but yeah, saying the genociders might have had a point if you can look beyond the "genocide" part is just - wtf, you can ignore "genocide"? Are you just trying to defend your fave? But you know sometimes you go way too far, right?

Complete with random nonsense like "Nabateans aren't discriminated against" - they just have to hide their physical traits else they'll be turned in shiny forks - "because they're white" and we're in peak clownery ?

Of course there are some areas and fields people study, and some fields they don't, and if you ask me how to code or do more technical things I'm completely lost, but saying some people can't be discriminated against because they're white is just so ridiculous - sure you might not know everything there's to know about World's History and all, but at least when someone corrects you just acknowledge it, instead of doubling down on your misconceptions.

A friend and I joked about it last year, but ultimately, if all the discourse can begin and end with "Rhea BaD" it ultimately grows stale. What are you even supposed to talk about? Is there any room for discussion? Is Rhea BaD because she exists?

"Rhea BaD"

Sure Jan.

[tan1shere]

can you PLAHESE make more Eva x fem!reader i don’t have like an idea but im thinking one of evas therapy sessions get a lil freaky

(idk this my first time asking for something lol, if you cant thats cool)

You're No Good For Me

Eva x female reader !

A/n: Oh gurl I just had the PERFECT idea for one, yes it's inspired by the song slightly 😇

Summary: you and Eva have known eachother for awhile, you go and spend your break at the place she lives, when you were in the therapy room together, things turn into something else. Something more.

Warnings: smut smut and more smut ! Scissoring guys 🤭 fingering, soft dom Eva, sub reader - and I think that's about it, enjoy !!!

Masterlist

You had to clear your mind, so this was the exact place to do that. Eva was an old friend who you had known for years, the both of you were texting one day when she suggested you come down for a long weekend to set your mind at ease. You never exactly knew what she did but you agreed nonetheless. Once you got there you head up to the door, knocking on it. And there she was. "Eva." You smile, going to hug her. "Hey you." She kindly leaves a kiss on your cheek. "Missed you." She finishes. Pulling back to place her hands on your face. "You look good." She grins. You smile again. "Too kind, but so do you my goodness!"

She lets you into the house helping you with your luggage. "I'll put them in the room you'll be sleeping in." You thank her, looking around the beautiful house. You saw some other girls wandering around. It made you think what she actually did, it was probably time you asked her. As she came back, she began to show you around. There was so much to the house, many rooms, big spaces. It was very beautiful. "I've been meaning to ask - out of curiosity." You then pipe up, making her look at you. "What do you even do? What is this place?" She smiles that intoxicating smile. Maybe you had, had a crush on her when you were younger. Is that feeling still there?

Because that just sent a shiver down your spine. "We run a female empowerment group. Just me and the girls that live here." She turns back around to continue the tour. But something felt off, was that fully the truth? Why did you get the feeling it was so much more than that. You knew Eva, and she seemed a little bit different. Especially with how she acted with the others. Although she didn't seem to do that with you. She knew how you saw her from all those years ago, she didn't want to blow anything and scare you. But if anything you were just more intrigued.

It had been a few days, you got to know some of the girls that lived there, doing little activities with them. You eventually started piecing it together on what was really happening. You were currently just drinking a tea, while sitting on a small sofa in the living room. When Eva comes in. "Join me?" Your head pops up from out of your book. "What for?" You asked. "Just come with me, ok?" You reluctantly get up, following her. "You're not gunna kill me are you?" You then say, half joking. For the first time Eva showed more emotion in her features while looking at you. "What are you on about?" You laugh a tiny bit. "Nuthinn." She still looks at you bewildered. You then reach a room, it was quite dark in there.

The only source of light was coming from the circular window on the wall. She sits down on a small pillow, encouraging you to do the same with the other that's infront of her. You slowly do. "I usually do therapy lessons but I feel like we haven't spoken much over the last few days. Gives us a chance to in here, away from everything." You nod at her statement. When a silence was being cascaded across the dimly lit room. "Are you going to tell me what this place really is?" She just looks at you. "I told you babe, female-"

"That's bullshit." You cut her off.

"Eva, just tell me." - "You aren't going to brainwash me are you?" You laugh a tiny bit. She knew how smart you were and that you caught onto what this place truly was. "I've known you since we were kids. And this is only for a weekend. Plus I don't brainwash I persuade." Your eyebrow raises. "Y/n it's me, just trust that." You take a moment, but you always trusted her, you knew she wasn't going to force you to stay with any kind of words. But she also knew you'd willingly come back to see her. Ever since you were younger there was something between the two of you. She knew that your friendship would last a long time, so she had no worries.

"I don't need to tell you then. Your smart-ass figured it out." She tilts her head forward slightly, having a tiny smirk on her face. Her head then tilts to the side as she leans forward. "You know I think about you often." She admits. "That so?" You ask intrigued, a small grin plastered on your own face. "Well I mean I'm sure the feelings mutual." She then adds, making your eyebrow raise again. "Says who?" Her smirk widens. "Well you did have a crush on me as teens." For some reason that makes your body stiffen. You never thought she actually had suspicions about it. "I don't know what-" But her face gets impossibly close.

"Don't even finish that sentence, because we both know I'm telling the truth." You were, silenced. "Still know how to zip it when told. Noted." You stare into her eyes. The perfect ocean blue. Except they had something more taunting in them now. Almost challenging. "So what if I did." You then speak. She looks down at your lips. "Yeah?" Silence. Her eyes meet your own. "Feelings mutual baby." As soon as she uttered those words you grabbed her face and kissed her, it was hasty. Feverish. Her hands move to place them on your thighs, getting you to lay back on the floor. You then pull away. "Won't someone come in-?"

Your worried expression just makes her grin. "Nah, rules are no one comes in here til I come back out. Even if they need me for something." You breathe out a relieved sigh. When her lips are back on yours in an instant. "To be honest-" You began as she kissed your neck. You always were a blabber. "I don't even know why-" your words cut short as she bit down, causing a small noise to come out of you. But nonetheless you continued. "-I liked you.. you were kind of bitchy to me- teen years." You breathe as her face comes in view with your own.

"Really huh? Bitchy?" You shrugged. "Ever think that was my way of saying, 'hey you're so fucking hot I just have to have you?'" Her eyebrows raise in question. Your face goes totally still. "That shut you up." Once again her smirk returns. Her soft lips returned to your neck, leaving a small mark. Your eyes flutter close. Was this really happening right now? "Ever since those years you've invaded my mind." Her hands move to pull the straps down on your dress, surprised you had no bra on. But she was definitely not complaining.

Her hands make contact with your tits, kneading gently. You gasp a tiny bit, still having your eyes closed. A small whimper leaves you as her lips travel down to them. She takes her sweet time, worshiping every sliver of skin around your breast. She was soft, but definitely firm with her intentions. "We-" You gulp back a moan, causing her to look up at you. "What? Dont think we should be doing this?" You nod ever so slightly, just a tad worried. She grabs your jaw getting you to open your eyes and look at her. "I promise. It's just you. And me." Her eyes stare into your own, and for some reason you just trust her by that single look.

Grabbing her face again and bringing her down to kiss you. Maybe you did still have a crush on her, maybe that feeling was still lingering. Her hands make their way down your body. Her fingers teased the thin fabric that laid under your summer dress. "Please.." You breathe, just wanting it to finally happen. "Eva please." You grew needier when she wouldn't budge. But that only causes your eyes to open again, looking to see her staring down at you. "Patience." She then says as your eyes meet. It was a warning. She was making clear that she was in control here. You whine with annoyance until you feel her hands back on your jaw.

"Uh uh, don't do that. You'll get what you want." Her fingers danced around your face delicately, moving down to your neck. "With time.." She finishes. "Being sooo good for me though." You swallowed at her tone, God she was even more mesmerizing than years ago. Her hands move under your dress, pulling your underwear off, letting out a satisfied hum. "Haven't even touched you and you're sopping." Her fingers go to touch. "Was it my words? My voice?" You're in a daze when you hear her fingers snap. Causing your attention to be back on her. "You wanna answer me pretty girl?" Your eyes meet. "Y-yes.. your voice.." Her face shone with admiration. "Your touch..." You carry on. As you soon feel her fingers sliding into you, you're gone.

Head back, arching just slightly to feel more. The worry of someone walking in fading away. "Keep going, know you can. Tell me." Her voice was like a drug. Her fingers curl inside you, feeling your gummy walls suck her in. You gasp at the feeling. "Come on, just want to hear it. Unless you want me to stop, is that it?" A fake concerned, pitty look is on her face. You swallow hard. "N-no please don't." She hums lightly. "What, else." - "Y- your eyes.. and-" Your lids screw shut as she suddenly adds another finger, making you stretch like crazy. "Fuck!" But her hand is quickly over your mouth.

"Quiet angel, not too loud." Her hand slowly moves but you grab it. "And.. your lips." You continue, grabbing her finger lazily. Sticking it in your mouth and sucking. She's impressed with all your sudden obedience. "That's better. Good, girl." Your eyes roll back as her pace quickens once again and you feel it. It gets harder for her to move before she pulls them out. You let out a whiny cry around her finger.

"I know my girl I know." She soothes. But Eva truly meant that, she wanted you to cum. But she needed it. To be against her. "You're being so incredibly good I just need to do something ok?" She pulls her finger out of your mouth as your face is tired, pouty. "Awww." She bites her lip at your face currently, it was too precious for words. "You're just so sweet."

"Just like all those years ago." She began, standing up to take the layers of clothes she was wearing. You watch intently. "Always nose deep in those books, not giving a care in the world. Style is still the same. Always made me want to rip those dresses off your beautiful body." Your head falls back as you couldn't keep it up any longer. "Eva-" You were about to say something else when you felt something warm and so soft on your cunt. Causing a moan to escape you. "And i get to fuck her raw." She breathes the words out. Your eyes open so quick.

Looking down at where you two were connected, her pussy against your own, making your mouth hang open. They fit perfectly together, your wetness making it easy for her to grind against you, the pleasure building up again for the both of you. "What if I told you I craved you." She then says, her velvety voice making you ache for her to speed up. A tiny whimper leaving you in the process. Your eyes shut again.

Focusing on the pleasure she's giving you. But she was teasing, causing you to whine. You just needed it. Her. But she needed to hear you say it, beg for her. "Please fuck me." You moan out, having your eyes closed. "What was that?" You let out an annoyed whimper. But you open your eyes to be in line with hers, they were full of adrenaline, lust. "Speak." - "Please just fuck me Eva please!" And so she does, more intensly fucking against your cunt. The feeling was everything, she felt way too good against you. "Mmm Eva." You whine out, going to grip her arms.

She leans over you, your breasts touching one another's as she grinds harder against you. Her head rests in your neck, kissing, biting sucking. "I'm so close don't stop!" You blab as if she was going to do that. She was enjoying this too much. As she ruts against you a moan of her own is let past her lips, against your neck and ringing in your ears. It was so hot you might cum from that alone. She balances on her hands still hovering above you. Face, to face.

"Cum against me, know you can." She breathes, out of breath herself, matching your ragged breathing, chest rising and falling fast. The eye contact increases every sensation you were both feeling. "Fuck, you really are an angel.. look at you.." She moans. "Eva- i-" She nods. "With me, come on baby." She says when you both shortly after cum against the other. The feeling was even better than you had anticipated. Your head falling back completely against the hardwood floor. Catching your breath and so was she. Until you make eye contact again, no words. No nothing. Just a beautiful silence.

Maybe she was brainwashing you. But at the same time she wasn't. You were just so intoxicated by her and you had to stay.

"Do you think we'll be inlove?"

"I count on it."

[katyspersonal]

So, Ymir was full of shit or rather, lost his marbles! I've made some more SOTE progress!

1) So, first I was exploring the various corners I've missed (again, Val's advice since I was despairing to do anything but 'important' points gvghgb) Went in order!

2) I killed the second big red horned bear in this game! And before that, killed two Rune Bears with some success..? Still got hit hard, but I am finally learning to dodge roll properly! Most of it is rolling in, not away x)

It dropped an incantation that is like those dragon head ones.. but like, bear head one gfhhhg And there was another variant of Brave Set nearby (the clothes of bear-hunters)

3) Coincidentally, the very next guy was using this same incantation! It was sending a series of roars that knock the person off! AND he was in the last Mausoleum that I did want to find very much!

AND he also was a Redmane!! They have so many distinct friends of Radahn in this DLC xD

4) The next one was a forge and I was done with running across them orange woods. This is when I finally realized that the big rocky guys needed to be hit while back turned, in the weak spot on their backs, whereas I've been hitting them in the front this whole time... :^)

5) This guy would later become important:

So, they just freeze eventually? It kind of seems like eventual fate of all rock creatures I guess, since they can't age. There are Ancient Dragons in Farum Azula who are just walls now for one

I instantly had a feeling that this would be a good summon seeing how much damage and defence those guys had, and hoooo boy was I right!!

6) OKAY SO I finally did it! @fareehaandspaniards REJOYCE!!! Basically Metyr and Fingers predate Elden Ring/Beast, because it also was a shooting star and Metyr was the first:

I struggled with this boss as you remember, and wasn't even trying to go without summons but just couldn't find the right ones xd THIS guy though staggered her like two times letting me do critical, and lasted ungodly amount of time (until magic attack blasted him since rocks are wear to magic in this game)! But he was SO helpful?

So it was this guy causing ungodly stagger and me stabbing bleed with Mohg's spear jfghyj I also finally realized to NOT, no matter what, get myself caught on the side of her body 🙄 That attack with rapidly moving fingers from her side is NOT survivable nghgf If anyone here makes the same mistake: don't, just always face her.. face, lol

7) Also my idea confirmed! When I first saw this location, all watery and the giant "tubes" going from here to "above", I saw it like the giant fingers so it is some hammerspace version of womb water! Turned out the grace of this place marks location as Finger Birthing Grounds, so yeah!

8) My instant reflex was to go back to Manus Metyr! ...and I got attacked when I had hands full of runes because I forgot to spend them after the boss 🤡 I didn't die, but NEVER forget to level up lol

Jolan first attacked me as an invader, saying we've hurt Ymir so much that he now wished our death, and then Ymir was there as a boss (thankfully a weak one). ?? I was just sitting here like "wait a second, the whole operation was your idea?" because Ymir gave me the map here?

9) So, I started to think about it and recalling what happened before. His last map was captioned "May you join the glimmering stars above" which was sinister, but so was he so I didn't give it an extra thought back then! Now it does seem like he intended for us to not survive that encounter, like same sacrifice thing as with "meeting" Rykard, but there was more

Back when Anna attacked us, I assumed she was sort of enemy. I did tell Jolan about it, but her dialogue was vague:

I interpreted it as Anna getting on the way and Jolan implying that she will or will not kick her ass depending on what Ymir says. But oh boy, seems like I was wrong.. When you kill Anna, the text 'RECUSANT VANQUISHED' appears; the term reserved for Tarnished that hunt other Tarnished! So, knowing that Anna habitually kills people (her own?), and knowing that I was not supposed to kill Metyr despite being sent directly to her, Jolan's reaction to us telling about Anna can be seen as: 'Damn, I started to really like you, but turns out that Ymir wants to sacrifice you (?) and I can't speak against him so pretend that my ally did not try to kill you, okay? :/' but I wasn't aware just HOW right I was!

10) Turned out that Jolan also had the decision split between Iris of Grace (gives Spirit Ashes) and Iris of Occultation (gives her weapon)! Like it was with Queelign! Damn, they made SURE that people either replay this DLC or talk with other players for full lore x) Respect!

11) ALSO turned out that this whole time, there was a secret way to drop atop of the upper section of Rabbath Rise from Shaman Village, where you find a person in the same set sitting in the same fashion as inactive puppets of Seluvis! And it was ANNA, that we could combine with Ashes of Jolan!

frail and WHAT? AND WHAT gdghhgh The text didn't fit, oh my god!!

I asked Val about it, the missing word was 'and pliant'.

12) I also asked him about the 'doll' part, because by all means it should have been 'puppet'! He confirmed that it IS the same term in original because he was confused too and checked earlier: 'doll' here is 傀儡, and is the same used for Puppets in the main game. So, obviously, they were trying to save the letters space! And still failed... XD

13) So, yes, a totally normal thing for Carians to do! Granted, Nox were the ones who started the Puppet dids, but Carians are basically infamous for making Puppets, which Ymir is!

That makes it apparent that Anna attacked us due to him wanting it :^) I assume we were supposed to be food for Metyr, because since he lost his shit over her death he needed her for something. The power to bring Yuri back to life, I suppose.

This made me wonder whether Jolan herself was a puppet? We don't know whether they can still talk and think from the base game, maybe they can! What we do know is that puppets will attach spiritually attach to the master and unquestionably do their bidding (which Jolan does), that they are crafted through blue star shards thus uniting their fates since blue stars control fates of humans (and Ymir and Jolan do affectionately call each other their stars), and that a puppet can be given to someone else despite who made it (since Seluvis can gift his and we now can use Anna).

Jolan is not referred to as a puppet, so maybe her devotion and dependence bordering insanity happened to be her true feelings and not some magic (yet it wasn't the case for Anna, apparently...).. But interesting thing to consider. (LOL I can SEE Ymir simps jumping at me and asking how the heck Jolan's behavior is supposedly magic and not normal reaction gfggnfhhg)

14) Turned out that Ymir's clothes can be altered into... this:

15) I also checked at the Roundtable Hold, for more Metyr lore:

I already read that Greater Will stopped communicating with her, but interesting information! Besides.. the staff to cast sorceries AND incantations sounds SUPER useful! No more switching between seals and staffs xD

The second weapon is simply Metyr's head that mentions there is an eye at the center of it. Yes, I could tell from getting blasted with lasers hfhhjj

16) Also I don't have pictures space left, but if you collect everything like I do, don't forget to check Yuri's grave for a sorcery after Ymir is defeated!

[speaker-of-the-void-cats]

"You must learn to tease apart the hues of your own heart." —Parables of the Allspring.

Hey all! I'm a Warlock main named Matt and I've been posting my scattershot Destiny musings, ramblings, and theories since Lightfall's release. In that time, I've really enjoyed exploring the mysteries of the lore and honing my thoughts on Destiny's story through various posting styles. Particularly, I've loved exploring topics like the nature of the Darkness and the Veil, and their place in the story, as well as the generally rhyming, looping, spiraling structure of the game's narrative. I also love Eris, Drifter, Savathûn, and Osiris!

Sometimes I get a little all over, especially in those early posts, with big leaps and a lot of my own writing connecting the dots in an attempt to see a bit into the future. You'll have to pardon some of them, as I'm sure a few have aged pretty poorly or are just straight up bad. But as we've gone through the seasons and learned more, I've tried a sort of variation on web-weaving and assemblage by using lore entries, images, video, and sometimes song lyrics and poetry in a particular order and context to evoke specific moods or convey big, hard to articulate ideas and speculation. Sometimes, I just explore a theme or specific lore nook that fascinates me. It's a weird little practice in meaning-making I really like and the process has helped me unearth possible connections between things I've never considered in my many years following the lore.

As we move through The Final Shape, I wanted to finally compile a list of links to all my posts. Pardon the amount of repetition and, probably, off-the-wall speculation, but I hope you find something interesting if you decide to check them out! Also, keep an eye out for links. Sometimes it's simply the source text on Ishtar, other times.... something more. Please keep in mind that all these are products of the moment in time they were posted in, so topics I explored in early ones may have questions answered in the seasons since, or theories may have been proven unequivocally wrong. The list will largely go from earliest to most recent, and I'll put a * next to my favorites!

The Veil, Nezarec, and Jakob Bohme

Seeing the murals above the Veil enclosure

EMBRACE THE DARKNESS

Thank You, Verse 154i:4 - Call the Thrall

MCXLLII-I, forthcoming.

The EDZ saw paracausal conflict long before the Collapse

Pattern is system and system is sequence, but what is sequence?

Forsaken Lightfall

Deterministic Chaos

Eight

SALVAGE THE TRUTH

Aren't they beautiful?

"What is this feeling? I do not want it."

"They desired meaning. A Winnower to shape the garden."*

"How many legends of katabasis do we have, Ikora?"*

The Sundial

The Dreaming Cities

Not Light, not Dark: Power.*

Chiasmus*

Conspiracy Theory-D

The Truth in the Darkness...

Have you ever been afraid of your own Shadow?*

[I could be wrong. Is it possible the Black Heart will beat again?]*

©0RrUptIôN.*

Prismatic Hearts*

"We are unique emanations of the same shared Light."

Kugelblitz

Final attempts to understand before the Shape is unveiled*

[The following posts contain entries, imagery, and spoilers for the Final Shape and Echoes]

Paradrome

Speaker's Sight — Study the voice. Gaze into the heart.

"Focus. The Pyramid distracts. Nothing more."

It all means one thing

DECRYPTION KEY: 3136664202-777

Ruinous Effigy

There is only SUFFERING

SPOILER ALERT

Hope for the Future

It's not over

Echoing

Echoes of Deep Hidden Truth

Solipsism

Anima Mundi

Caught up in a web

II. Theory**

Gardener|ɿɘwonniW**

Cipher**

Eclipse**

"What is 'OXA,' and who was 'MSund12'?"

I know you're not afraid of a little dark...

How do I live?

Half-Truths**

!lettinggo*

Abyssus abyssum invocat***

THE POINT***

Eyes up, Guardian

"The road ahead is unknown, but time tells us many things. The moments that become past in turn become blueprints for the future. In this space, there is no right or wrong. "We find a contemporaneous merging of what is known and what is unknown here. Somewhere between the knowns and unknowns lies the real. The tangible. "There is a weight to it; a feeling that tells you what you hold is true. "But what if the truth hasn't been told? What if the truth is a lie? "New paths present themselves. Blueprints change. We walk the line of truth every day. "But now, the line that holds the gentle balance has been crossed. "The truth is, this won't be the last time."

—Excerpt from the Symmetry pamphlet, "A Place Between"

Reading for world-building is a skill. I have seen brilliant people, laureates, inventors, Ph.D.s, try to read fiction with deep world-building and fail completely, looping back, rereading, never following events, trapped in a sense of muddled wandering. Reading for world-building requires retaining information without context: a term, a place, a coin, a category comes up once and we know what that is—a puzzle piece—and that our task is to gather up these pieces as the author drops them, and to slowly assemble the whole. This is not easy. Human memory needs hooks for facts: a mnemonic, a story, context, something; grueling textbook rote-learning fades quickly, but a story of the statesman or the king, that's what makes knowledge stay. To retain puzzle pieces that don't connect, dropped without context, is a skill that not all have. All had it once: it is how children read, every book, poster, and headline a stream of unknown terms, far too many to ask about them all, but the child retains them, trusting that they will connect to something someday. Kids collect Earth's puzzle pieces every time they read, but as we move to grown-up books they all use the same picture, and define immediately those terms they fear a reader may not know. Thus the skill of keeping puzzle pieces fades, unless we read books set in other worlds, new puzzle pictures which make us retain the skill, as frogs sometimes retain their tadpole tails into adulthood. This—many have observed—is why most F&SF readers come to the genre young, it's hard to start in adulthood when one's puzzle memory skill has sat atrophied. We find dozens of other puzzle pieces—creatures, buried engines, monstrous plants—but they don't connect either, no explanations, no recurrences. We trust. We ponder. We wade through the clutter of clashing technologies, tales of degeneration, glories lost, but there's no fall-of-space-Rome story to connect it up. We can guess at one, as we can guess the missing end of the story of the strange plants, as we can guess at several ways rats could gain language if time passed and—click—we see it. These puzzle pieces do not fit together—rather this puzzle-maker trusts that we are puzzle-masters and know the archetypes that must fill in between (a rise, an age, a destined king.) So we spread our disconnected puzzle pieces out, not assuming that the strange creatures come from one origin, the ruins from one era, and as we spread out, looking not for direct connections but for fragments of arcs and colors, our 100 puzzle pieces let us glimpse an image so vast it would take 100,000—an image large enough to capture true Deep Future, years numbered in millions, where contours that do connect do so at scales which make the layers of Freud's Rome appear shallow as coats of paint.

—Excerpts from The Path of the New Sun by Ada Palmer, introduction to The Book of the New Sun by Gene Wolfe

[katscatnip]

Listening to one song on repeat

My experience with listening to a certain sound or song on repeat for long periods of time.

Shown below all this text is my most recent streams on Spotify. as you can see,, there is just one song listed, and that's because It's all I've listened to for the past 2 days or so.

I have done this kinda thing sing as long as I recall having personal access and control over what I listen to. my earliest memories of it being the time my mom let me chose the song we play on the sound system (the song in question was Rock the Nation by Michael Franti) and i would constantly ask her to "play it again!" until she couldn't handle it anymore. Next it was when we bought the Curious George movie on CD and in the bonus features, there was a music video for the song played earlier in the movie Upsidedown by Jack Johnson (again was eventually asked to stop playing it over and over lmao.

Next was when i was old enough to stay for the "after school program" it essentially let the kids get into fun toys and boardgames and such and what I would do every single time is find one of the three sony CD walkmen in the electronics box, put in the Shrek soundtrack cd and set SmashMouth's allstar to loop, then proceed to walk up and down the gym's left wall gliding my fingers against the textured grout for the next hour and a half to three hours depending if it was an extended day.

Next was another walkman, my older sibling's bf at the time would bring one over with him when he visited along with his latest playlist burned to a cd and would let me borrow it. this is when I heard the oh-so-familiar and desired FireFlies by Owlcity (my current fav song at the time that I could only hear on the car radio when going into town) where I would proceed to lie on my upper bunk bed in complete darkness and imagine I was in space.

Another time was when a different friend would bring over their iPod and I would loop a couple greenday and Metallica songs over and over (I don't remember the song names now lmao)

Fast forward to my teen years im actively annoying my siblings after playing a song 7 times too many. yada yada ya-

I am aware of that now,,

my friends have been pointing out traits that were worth looking into for a while and I finally did and ya. when I went in they said it was not hard to notice and identify it from the moment I walked in the door.

Anyway, this post isnt about that its actually about how self-aware and insecure I've become from having others perceive this part of me. I've never really had any bad experiences aside from the occasional family member shout at me to "stop playing the same song" which is whatever.

The real issue for me is things like Spotify Wrapped and the idea that what I listen to as an auditory stim is perceived as my "taste" in music and such. i guess its rooted in maintaining a kind of character in the social aspect, and feeling like I have to make what I listen to look palatable to peers and that means having a high listen count and knowledge of artists whose music has meaning and depth while also not being caught listening to the opposite (breakcore, hyperpop, noise, goofy nonsensical hip-hopy stuff, etc)(?)

Which I'm finding to be stackingly exhausting and I think I've trying this year and lastyear to give myself the grace of being me and not conforming to the shape I feel pressured to fit into.

I hear and read a lot of peer's takes or reviews on music and such (which I think is important to have ofc) but it kinda feels to cliquey for me to feel fully comfortable being in those circle's conversations.

sometimes i just like the noises and vibration pattern coming from a specific artist's stuff and don't take in or care about the meaning or depth of a song's lyrics,, anyways yeah. here's some of the semi-recent past loops: (noise warning on some!🔊) 757, Hollywood baby, Improved mashcore, kickback, 3 o'clock things, Being so normal, Uncanny long arms, Leg room, Stuck Inside

below is my current song backslide by 21 Pilots. the tapeworm synth and silly bass drops itch the itch good :+)

[duskwoodgirl4life]

I got this idea from watching the mentalist towards the end when Patrick and Teresa declare their live for one another. I've changed a few things to make it work how I want it there will be 2 more chapters coming hope you all enjoy this short story.

Chapter 1

MC and Jake had just wrapped up another case for the FBI, Jake had booked a hotel for the time they were in Miami. Laid out on the bed in MCs room were 3 different dresses and a smile spread across her face as she picked each dress up. She picked out the light pink dress that flowed down her legs. She thought a lot of Jake was always surprising her at every turn. As she walked down the stairs to dinner she saw Jake sat at the table with 2 other agents. He looked up and saw how beautiful she looked, she went over to the reception to ask a question. "Hi, the bathrobes in the room my boyfriend would love one, are they available to buy?" The receptionist looked up with a smile. "they are part of the package that Mr Dalton booked last week"

MC turned around and walked over to where Jake was sitting "you bastard, you set this whole case up to get me to delay going to DC" MC picks up a glass of water and throws it at Jake slamming the glass down she turns and walks away going back to her room. Jake dried his face with the napkin putting it back down on the table. "I better go talk to her" Jake got up from his seat and went to try and talk with MC. "MC? Please let me explain" Jake knocked on the door waiting for a response from the other side. "Go away Jake! I don't want to hear it" a tear fell from MCs eye and she packed her things. "Please MC let me in so we can talk about this" Jake pleaded with MC to let him in.

"I know you're still there I can hear you breathing" Jake moved away from the door and went into his room closing the door behind him. MC grabbed her bag and left the hotel getting into the taxi to take her to the airport. MC pulled out her phone and dialed her boyfriend's number. "Hey, you know what let's do it let's get married, I'm on my way to the airport now" she had concern and regret laced all her face after what she said. "Hunni, that's fantastic. I can't wait for you to get to DC. text me your flight info and I will meet you at the airport" MC pulled the phone away from her ear as Mark was talking and talking about all the things they can do once she arrives.

2 months earlier

The serial killer had been caught that murdered so many people including Jake's wife and daughter. It had been 10 years of trying to discover just who red eye is. It had been 10 years since Jake made the mistake of talking about red eye on national TV. Jake had come to work for the FBI all those years ago to bring down red eye. He had been getting closer to MC for some time now but still he couldn't break down the walls around his heart. They had been working on a case involving a robbery at an art gallery. The team that deals with stolen art asked for help with catching them.

They set up a fake party at a house the FBI had seized during a drugs bust, the plan was set in motion one of the agents would head to a bar and make friends with one of the criminals. Once the first part of the plan was in full swing the agent suggested he knew a place where the party never stopped. The next day the next stage of the plan got put into place. The FBI monitored the break in and waited for their moment to move in the next few hours the gang had been arrested and got taken into custody. Mark saw MC sat in the canteen eating a slice of pizza he walked over and sat down next to her. "Hey MC, you did amazing before that was some moves you have" MC put the slice of pizza down cleaning her hands on a napkin. "Thank you, it was just another day at the office" Mark smiled at MC with a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "Do you want to maybe go get something to eat? I know a great place that does amazing waffles" MC paused for a moment thinking about what to say. "You know what, I'd love to"

They both got up from their seats and MC went over to her desk to grab her jacket, Jake came walking over with a small smile on his face. "Hey, where are we going?" MC looked at Jake. She knew what he meant but didn't dare say anything. "Oh we were just heading out to go get waffles, you are welcome to join us" Jake's smile fell from his face and he backed away a little. "Oh no you guys go I'll be okay have fun" Jake watched MC walking towards the elevator with a heavy heart he put his head back in the chair and closed his eyes.

MC and Mark continued to date. They were getting closer every day, Jake watched on as MC and Mark shared a kiss. The jealousy kept rising up inside him he had never felt like this before. He was starting to get feelings for MC but he didn't know what to do with them. The last person he loved so much died. He didn't know how to let himself get closer to anyone. He didn't know how to let anyone in; he kept up the walls around his heart pushing anyone away that dared to get close.

MC and Mark continued to get closer. Mark had just been offered a job in DC to head up his own department. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and he jumped at the chance. Later that day MC met up with Mark for coffee as they had not had time to properly see each other this morning. "MC, I've been offered to head up my own team in DC" MC smiled from ear to ear at the news. "Wow that's amazing Mark congratulations" MC stood up from her seat and wrapped her arms around him. "I've been thinking, I want you to come with me to DC" MC was taken back by what Mark had said. "What? Really? You want me to come with you? Wow I don't know what to say" Mark took MCs hand in his and drew circles with his thumb on her hand. "It's okay it's a lot to take in, take your time and let me know what you want to do"

MC looked at Mark lovingly and smiled. Was her future really with Mark? What would Jake say when she breaks the news to him. She was glad of the time Mark gave her but would she be able to decide what to do?

[myjinri]

closed starter for @ofsujis ahn jinri's living room

"should i consider cutting my hair again? like, similar to how it was for 24 hours. it'd be a nice little surprise or something, right?" jinri played around with a few strands of her hair, trying to picture herself with short hair again. it has been six years, yet she's still scared of entering that state of mind again like it attached to the length of her hair. however, the worries are masked and placed on the shelf to be unpacked on a different day as she dropped her hand to her lap and looked at her friend with curiosity, waiting to hear the other's opinion.

jinri's not the type to share the things she thinks of until she fully polishes it and works out all of the details, but suji offers a different perspective on things that helps her refine those ideas. it also helped that suji often had an eye for things that jinri might've missed or not considered. as a result, she had one of the purest forms of adoration and admiration for the actress that had developed over their many years of friendship. having the other in the comfort of the four walls of jinri's home spoke volumes to how much jinri liked the other, as she normally closed the place off to visitors. of course, there were exceptions but there were very few. this was her safe space, after all.

"i normally don't get involved in styling outside of suggesting not cutting my hair again. maybe it could like... contribute to storytelling? i've been coming up with ideas potentially for the future if secret garden approves of it. i don't know if they'll like my proposal. it feels like the entire world is expecting me to drop another lovey-dovey type of song when i'm just simply not that type of person." she based that assumption off of a few tweets she saw, which really holds no weight in the grand scheme of things, but the direction myworld's music is going really doesn't help ease her mind.

jinri took a brief pause after her last sentence. the reason why she preferred to be by herself was because she had the tendency to talk too much and ramble. at least this time she caught herself before it got worse. "i should've retired while i had the chance. then i'd have absolutely nothing to talk about except for how pretty you look today." with legs tucked underneath her, she tried to make herself as comfortable as possible, inviting suji to feel free to do the same.. "i invited you over to catch up, so we'll actually do that."

the idol's gaze briefly shifted the the bottle and glasses on the coffee table. it's almost customary that the two share a drink whenever they meet up, but jinri had be considering cutting back on her intake, but wanted to still provide suji with the choice to indulge in a glass or two if she wanted. shifting her attention back to the actress, she made sure to make that clear. "the alcohol is free game, but if you want anything other than that, i'll have to get up and get that." which she didn't really want to do as she was just getting comfortable, but her desires would take a backseat in the favor of suji since she was a guest.

but there's the inquisitive look in jinri's eyes again as she looks on at the other with full interest. "but what have you been up to? besides the obvious." yes, they've known each other for a few years but they weren't close enough for jinri to be confident enough of her place in suji's life. while she did send a few texts to check in every once in a while, she never felt confident enough continuously contact the other while she was out of the country. "i'm only going to say this once. i missed you a lot while you were away, but i didn't want to bother you in case i was a reminder." the moment of sincerity is gone as quick as it arrived, as she didn't want to dwell on it. the past was the past. "i've been wanting to hang out with you more before either of us gets too busy with our careers again, unless you are already getting booked up to capacity? i'll just have to find a way to squeeze myself in between your scheduled appointments if that's the case." she says with a small pout for slight dramatic effect.

[ruinaimagines]

heyheyhey mind if I can have a cuddling with netzach scenario? thanks! -the previous netzach and laetitia anon (I'll just refer to myself as 🦷! I really like your writing!)

Hello 🦷 anon! (Tooth anon? Teeth anon? Molar anon? Your pick). Thank you for the feedback, and you may absolutely have a scenario. I will say I’m starting to notice a pattern in interests of cuddling with the requests I've gotten, not complaining though.

Cuddling with Netzach Scenario:

It was another lazy day, and you were just dragging yourself around and sorting books into their appropriate places on the shelves. Even the receptions today were sort of mundane, as awful as that might be to say about life threatening battles. There wasn’t really any dramatic story or perspective you got to hear from Angela or Roland beforehand, and they went by swiftly.

The people seemed just like any other person in the city. No syndicates, no association members, no nothing. Just your regular employees of a fixer office trying to get by, unfortunately they didn’t seem to fare too well on that part.

It’s not like you could really blame it on the weather, considering there is no weather in the library. Maybe you could say the air was stuffy and that’s your excuse for slacking so much? Who knows, it’s just a pretty casual day which is almost a bit unsettling given the often eventful experiences of the library.

“Slow day, huh?” A voice piped up from behind you. It successfully caught your attention and you turned around to see your patron librarian, Netzach. You didn’t know he was there, but he has been one to unintentionally sneak around a bit.. So long as he doesn’t stumble into anything. Not like it’s anything too alarming.

You glance down at the book that’s in your hands, the words feel as though they mesh together and it’s just creating a mess in your brain. All you see are walls of text, and it’s straining you especially when you’re supposed to be making progress.

“Yeah, I guess my heads just really foggy right now. Makes it a bit of a nightmare to focus.” You didn’t mean to complain much as it really wasn’t too big of a deal, but you knew he’d understand especially with his own distaste of the job.

You slipped in a bookmark and set it onto one of the tables of the floor of art, the one where he sat, backwards in a chair. Rubbing your face with your hands you mutter, “Maybe I just need a cold glass of water, something to wake me up a bit.”

“..Why not just fall asleep?” Well he makes it sound a lot more simple of a choice. Problem is, you don’t really know how happy Angela would be for you abandoning your tasks altogether.

For this reason you’re a bit unsure about his proposal. “As tantalizing an idea that is, I don’t want to end up overwhelmed with work. I have no idea what the future holds, and that might include a stack of books to sort. I just gotta get through it now.” You say those words, but the idea of ‘getting through it now’ seems a bit impossible with the rate you’re going at.

His eyes watch you, head propped up by his arm on the back of the chair. “Eh, it’ll be fine. I mean, it was you who told me that it’s important not to push yourself too hard when you’re not feeling it, right? Why wouldn’t the same apply to you?” His offer started to sound more and more reasonable, and you were growing convinced.

It wasn’t the end of it however, “Plus it’s not like the books are anything too complicated and there aren’t too many… dealing with them at a later time shouldn’t strain you too bad. And if it does, I’ll help.” While Netzach trying to convince you to procrastinate isn’t usually the best in most cases, he did bring up a good point.

With a sigh you roll your shoulders back and stretch, “Alright, alright. I give in. Are you coming with me or am I gonna be all alone?” It was a useless question to ask, especially when you already knew the answer. It’s not like he was ever going to miss out on an excuse to get out of work, let alone if it means spending time with you.

“...You already know the answer to that.”

The two of you were left to retreat to the room you shared, kicking off your shoes and settling down into the comfortable bed. It wasn’t super firm, but it wasn’t so soft you were endlessly sinking into it either. Rather it was a good balance between the two.

Not a moment passed before he collapsed besides you, quickly wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you closer. He’s always been quite physically affectionate, and it doesn’t matter which way he sleeps either. Whether he’s on his back, sideways, or face down in a pillow he’ll always attempt to be in contact with you.

He’s facing towards you, eyes shut and his legs slightly bent rather than just being straightened out. There’s this vague murmuring that comes out of his mouth, and when you ask what he says all he does is pull you closer as he places his head on your shoulder.

“Even though this is meant to be my rest, something tells me you’ll be out of it quicker than I am.” You lightheartedly comment. Your hand reaches up to his hair, where you begin softly brushing it through. “Mind if I take out the tie?”

“Sure.” With the words of confirmation, you carefully take out the hair tie, making it much more comfortable and easier to play with his hair without making it a mess. Not really like Netzach would care if it was a mess, it’s not as though his appearance is his biggest concern.

Still, it removes the risk of discomfort that comes with the possibility of accidentally pulling hair strands. It’s a bit surreal to see him with his hair down, especially when it always seems to be up. You brush some strands out of his face and decide to ask a question as you prop yourself up on a pillow.

“You look really nice when your hair isn’t all put up, is there a reason why you never let it down?” It could totally be up to personal preference, it’s not like you’re really someone who’s going to dictate another’s look anyways.

“...Gets all over the place. Having it up also means less effort for a cleaner look.” Alright well you should probably have expected that second part there. He really does go down the path of what’s the most convenient. I mean it’s good to not make things harder on yourself if they don’t need to be?

Still, you decide to tease him a bit, “You know if you have such trouble with brushing your hair in the mornings you can always ask me.” You finally sink down from the propped up position you were in, moving the arm that combed through his hair to rest around his neck.

“Depends how early I’d have to get up. But I mean if you really wanted to, it'd be too difficult to say no.” Now that’s an opportunity you aren’t about to pass up. You hummed in conformation before slowly shutting your own eyes.

“I’m about to drift off now, love you. Don’t be too stubborn and keep me stuck here when I need to get up though, okay?” You notified him. You did come here for a rest after all, and as much as you love talking with him it’s still important you fulfill your original intention.

“..No promises.” He quietly spoke with a half-awake tone, nuzzling further into your shoulder. “Love you too.”

[opinated-user]

Anon who found the EbaraTara account here:

I'm on Sankaku because several artists on there have been caught using real life pictures and videos of children having sex as references for their art, and if you can submit proof, Sankaku will track the IP of the artist who uploaded it/use their email and contact info to inform the police about this and will start the legal process necessary to allow for legal transfer of your evidence to the police. This allows for victims of predators who recognize themselves as the image reference to get the police involved in the case.

I was a victim of a predator and groomer from age 6 to age 12. He was a 3D shota/loli/sholicon artist, and I was used for reference pictures. I know I was, and so I'm on Sankaku because I chronically search through tags I know he could have produced art for. Although he's in prison now, the internet is forever - the art is probably still in circulation, maybe even the actual pictures, too. And the idea of them being out there gives me tremendous anxiety. I'm on anxiety meds, I'm in both individual therapy and a support group, and this has been a problem for me for years at this point. As more and more sites refuse to host hyperrealistic 3D shota, loli and sholicon, and as I get deeper into therapy and find a medication regime that helps me more, I don't go tag trawling like I used to nearly as often. I still have panic attacks, paranoid episodes and dissociative episodes, but the need to check five times a day and scroll through every new upload in the tags has gone down. I do it like once a week now at most.

And if you click on an image on Sankaku, say, to look closer and see if the image looks like it was a modified version of one of you or if the proportions are off enough that you can assume it's not based on real references, then the site has a rating bar for images and a favorite function off on the left side. Under the favorite function is a list of the last handful of users who favorited the image.

That's how I found EbaraTara's account. Alchorative, I searched for manually later, but I found EbaraTara's account on accident. I wasn't looking for it.

I clicked on the profile, which was empty, went to the faves and at the time the most recent page was all bestiality stuff, which reminded me of Lily. I sat on that for a while, not sure if I should tell anyone about it. The most recent page of favorites kept updating frequently (there were 855 faves before the account shut down) and there was a lot of gay shota, which I didn't associate with her since she talks mostly about F/F ships. I thought it could be a very weird coincidence. It still might be. It might not be Lily. I'm not saying it absolutely has to be her because all I have is what I found and what I found doesn't have identifying information beyond the name EbaraTara on it.

I don't resent anon for calling me a pedophile because I know having a Sankaku account looks bad. I know without context it looks sus. And I know it's really awful that when I look at these images I numb over and feel nothing and nothing is real and nothing matters, and that being able to browse the site probably means I'm not a good person. But 1. I am in therapy to fix the damage that has been done to me by my rapist/groomer/"boyfriend and 2. the fact that I am extremely damaged and not a good person does not change the legitimately concerning nature of what I found.

I'm not asking anon to forgive the fact that I browse the site. That's probably not excusable and my therapist has told me many times it's not healthy.

But I am asking them not to rush to assume that my being there invalidates what was found on it.

(Sorry for the wall of text, just. Being accused of pedophilia myself is really frustrating and angering given what I've been through.)

for whatever is worth, anon, me and others who recieved those messages didn't immediately jumped to make any accusation as that anon did. we could all clearly see that it was deflection from the main issue, that's still LO being a hypocrite. i'm terribly sorry for what you went through but i'm glad that you're currently recieving the help you deserve and are in a better space. wether this is all one big coincidence or happened to come across the secret account of LO, we're grateful that you brought this information to light and we can all come out with our own conclusions.

[catzula]

of red things like an earphone or a thread

Synopsis: you meet a little boy who lost his big brother's earphone, crying because he's sure his brother will get mad. You decide to look for it together, not expecting to find something- or rather someone else instead of the red earphone, although tied with a red string.

Pairing: Iwaizumi x fem!reader

Honorable mentions: soulmate au, female reader, cursing once or twice, children, 1.8k words, fluff, (K/N) stands for kid name lol

One last wave at your friend and you stepped out of the warm cafe to the cold, rainy winter afternoon. 

The wet wind hit you square in the face as the glass door closed behind you, and you knew you were going to get wet. You already knew it was going to rain that morning when you left your house, but you were too lazy to take your shoes off and get your umbrella. I'm not afraid of getting a little wet." You had thought to yourself like an idiot. Though it was true. You weren't afraid of getting wet under the rain, not, however, a big fan of walking through a goddamn storm. 

You sighed, knowing it was your fault, and you were glad you had at least thought of wearing your good old ski jacket. Closing the hood of your jacket over your head, you wore your earphones and started walking. 

~~~

cold, cold, cold, cold

Only halfway through walking, the cold was all that was on your mind. You didn't even have money on you since you had forgotten your wallet back at the cafe (your friend had texted you they had it and would give it to you the next day), so you couldn't even ride a taxi for the rest of the long walk.

Hopping over puddles of water and mud, you were practically sprinting your way back home, not stopping for any obstacle and wanting to go home as soon as you could. 

Float like a Cadillac, sting like a Beemer, you thought to yourself, laughing when the image of Lightning Mcqueen came to your mind. I won't stop until I reach home, not even if Jesus himself stood before me- 

You stopped just as the thought crossed your mind, eyes focusing on the small body kneeling in front of a wall, face hidden behind short, chubby fingers, and body shaking with soft sobs. 

Your brows furrowed in concern when you noticed the kid had nothing but a shirt on, the shirt already wet and sticking to his body. "H-hey," you turned to the kid, afraid of scaring him into thinking you were a murderer. You got a little closer to the boy, also kneeling when he seemed not to have heard you, still sobbing into his hands. 

"Hello?" You touched his freezing arm as softly as you could, pulling it back whenthe boy flinched, abruptly springing to his feet. You watched him as he wrapped his arm around himself, lips near purple and lashes wet with tears and the pouring rain. He couldn't be more than seven, you found yourself thinking as you stared into his oddly familiar olive-green eyes. You felt your heart stopping as the wide eyes stared back at you, reminding you of someone you dearly longed for and missed. You could swear you had seen that harsh gaze and the way he tilted his chin up with pride before, so familiar, yet strange.

"Excuse me," he muttered between chattering teeth, wiping the tears off his face, even though newer ones filled their places nonstop. "Did you- did you see a red earphone coming here?"

"A red earphone?" You repeated, and he shook his head violently. "Yes! Did you see it?" 

You bit your lip as you tried to remember if something like that had caught your eye, watching a new wave of sobs engrave him when you shook your head no apologetically. 

"I'm sorry," you muttered. "Did you lost it? Is that why you're- well, here?" The little boy wiped his tears with the back of his hand, nodding, still looking back at you with those green eyes, now even brighter with tears. 

"Okay, okay, look, first calm down a little, aren't you cold?" You asked as you started unzipping your jacket and shook it off your shoulders. You smiled at him when he didn't answer your obvious question, averting his gaze with a proud, stern look.

He took the jacket without contest, watching his hands as you dressed it over him. Wind howling in your ears, you were left only with a sweatshirt, a wave of shiver running throughyou when the wind howled even louder, the rain already wetting your heair and making it heavier. A curt nod was the boy's thanks, faintly smiling when you gave him a reassuring one. 

"Let's take you home, okay? You'll catch a cold if you stay out in this cold when you're wet." Your words had seemed to take a wrong affect on him, since he quickly pulled himself away from you with a new round of tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

"No, no- I can't!"

"It's okay, you can buy a new one and-"

"No, please- my brother will be so angry if he learns I lost it, I can't go home!" The little boy started to unzip your jacket off him with panic clouding his mind when he thought just how mad his brother was going to be. He could already vision the furious look when his brother figured it, swearing he would never lend him anything again. 

"Hey- hey, stop," you caught his cold hands between yours before he could shake off the jacket. "Okay, we won't go home, but let's look for it together, all right?" You offered, trying to bargain with him and stay with him until you could convince him to go home. 

"Okay." He agreed, eyeing you with soft suspicion but still walking beside you as you started to walk the way back.

After what felt like a whole day but was only an hour later, you had noticed just how many red things one could find if they looked around. 

Even if you averted your eyes to your hands, there it was, a bright red thread hanging from your finger. But this was the day you had come to hate the many- many red things that littered the surface since each time you saw a glimpse, and it was never the red earphone (K/N) was looking for and made him cry even more. 

You didn't have it in you to tell him even if you did find the earphone, no way it would work since it was raining nonstop for hours now, either. So you swallowed your sense of cold and went on looking with the boy, telling him funny stories, listening more from him. 

You had no idea why your heart missed a beat each time he spoke of his older brother -how old are you, miss? Woah, really? Then my brother is only e year older than you!- how you found your tummy hurting with how hard you were laughing as he kept telling you a funny thing that happened to his brother and his best friend. 

"He seems like a- well, nice guy." You muttered as you threw the red bottle cap you spotted on the ground to the trashcan. "He is!" The boy answered with sparkles in his green eyes, "my brother is the best!"

"That's nice." You smiled, chuckling when he went on. "He is the strongest, the coolest, smartest guy ever!"

"He does sound really cool. But also seems like he has some anger issues." You muttered as a joke, not expecting him to frown immediately. "He will be furious with me." He bit his lip, your eyes widening when you noticed the tears in the corner of his eyes. 

"Hey, no- I'm sure he'll understand!" You tried to reassure him. "Your brother sounds way cooler to get angry about a red earphone." You smiled, patting his head, laughing when he sniffed. "Really? You think so?"

You thought you were reassuring him. A white lie was all it was, but then, why did it feel so real? Why did it feel like the truth, despite not even knowing who the said guy was?

You hummed. "I'm pretty sure." 

"Okay then, I think we should go home." You smiled, nodding and letting him lead you as he pulled your thread-free hand.

"We're here." He sighed, meddling with his fingers as he stared at his house door. "Can yku, maybe stay with me as I tell him?"

You had opened your mouth to answer before a loud call of the little boy's name made you both jump in your places. You turned around to see where the stomping sound came from, eyes meeting the tall figure running his way to you. 

"Th- that's my brother." The boy gulped, and you did the same as you watched the also wet boy coming towards you.

You quickly noticed his eyes weren't on you but the little boy standing next to you, and you bit back the urge to hide the boy behind you from his seemingly furious brother.

"Where were you?!" He shouted, his big hands running over the small face and body to check if he was injured or not, pulling the boy into a tight hug as the man took deep breathes of relief. "I was so worried- so worried, you hear me? I've been looking for you for hours!" The tall man spoke into the hug. "What were you thinking, disappearing like that?"

"I- I didn't mean to worry you." (K/N) whispered to his brother's hair, hugging him even tighter, burying his face to hide his tears. "I was- with this lady... she was helping me."

You felt your heart skipping a beat when he mentioned you, making his brother break the hug and look at you instead. "Helping you? Helping you with wha-" You watched his eyes widened as he finally got the chance to look at you, and you knew he was the owner of the green eyes your heart seemed to long for. 

"Y-you-" he stammered, chest rising and falling as if he had just run a marathon, but you weren't any better. You could feel your face, your whole body heating up, the thought of hypothermia you just had in your mind a few minutes ago now turning into cursing the global warming.

You watched him as his green eyes wandered down to your hand that stood awkwardly next to you, following the red thread hanging from your pinky to his.

Never in your life had you seen the end of the string, you smiled at the thought. It would always blend in with the world, disappearing into the void, and you had tried to follow it to the end countless times, too eager to find your soulmate, to see where it tied your fate to, failing each time. 

But now, you felt your hands shaking with the overwhelming sense of being able to follow it to the end, the end where it was only a few meters away from you, where it tied to the large hand that reached at yours without even thinking.

It felt warm and safe as you touched his hand, both of you smiling uncontrollably.

"You look cold." He spoke the first time to you, but it felt like you had been together forever, like you knew him as well as you did yourself, not feeling the slightest bit of awkwardness.

"I am cold." You giggled, and you could see how it only then occurred to him that your jacket was hanging on his little brother's shoulders, and you stood there wet and shaking with only but a sweatshirt. The green eyes you would find yourself admiring from then on widened with concern, quickly shrugging his jacket off and wrapping you with it.

"Here, wear this." He muttered as he zipped it as far as he could, making you both giggle. 

Maybe it was an odd day to meet your soulmate, you thought, probably not the best, too, since both of you were wet from head to toe, hair sticking to your face, shivering from the cold, and probably a mess (and sick the next day). But however it was, you wouldn't change it for the world.

~~~

You got a red earphone next year in secret santa.

Hajime got a red earphone next year in secret santa, too.

A/n: if you made it this far, thank you for reading! Here's a lil ❤ for u. Funny thing, this red earphone thing is real lol, it happened to me a few days ago!! But it didn't end with me finding iwa, no no, we couldn't find neither iwa nor the boys red earphones and I dropped him back to his home.

[morimakesfanart]

Sindria's Prophet #08

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [AO3]

** TW/suicide of family member implied (it is marked ahead with ((text)) so you know what to skip) ~POV shift Mori~ In my old life I had spent 4 or so years as a historical reenactor for the mid 1700's through early 1800's on my weekends. My group mainly acted as pirates/privateers and sang sea shanties. We had done performances on different ships, but every time we were invited onto a period ship I couldn't make it, so I was geeking out when I saw the ship we'd be taking to Sindria. I prayed it didn't show on my face. Sure it was exciting for an other world's nerd like me to get to see a ship like this in use, but to everyone else it was a normal ship. The ship had two masts -both square rigged with a fore and aft sail at the back for better steering. Considering the reputation for the waters around Sindria I expected a bigger three mast ship for strength, but who was I to judge?

With only two masts, this ship probably only needed a crew of about nine people to allow for different shifts. It didn't look like it had room for many passengers. No doubt, Sinbad didn't expect to be bringing four extra people back with him. I was in full on research mode by the time I got on the ship, and I tired my best to not stand out or get in the way. Getting to look up at the rigging from on the deck was an experience. After everyone was settled I'd definitely make a point to look around more. I might even take one of the scrolls out and try drawing the deck of the ship since I never got around to drawing that gorgeous room in the hotel. I considered myself lucky that no one tried to talk to me until the rooms were being divided out -I had been hyperfixating so I might not have even noticed if they did.

Studying the ship could only boost me for so long. About 15 minutes before we left the port I could no longer ignore that my head was throbbing from exhaustion. This headache was undeniably becoming a migraine if it wasn't one already. I decided that sleep was the next thing on my agenda. Luckily, I made that decision around the same time the rooms were being divided out. I had figured I'd end up in the same room as Alibaba, Aladdin and Morgiana, but Alibaba was put in the same room as Ja'far and Masrur. Everyone put their bags down, and headed back on deck except me. I sat on my bed with my head in my hands as I started to let myself fully calm down. In the quiet it hit me just how much I had been using working on the scrolls as a way to avoid thinking about my guilt and lost home. I'd have to find time when no one else was in the room to work through these feelings. There was no way I could keep it bottled up until we reached Sindria. "Excuse me, Miss Mori?" Aladdin had re-entered the room and closed the door. We might not have been formally introduced but he was told who I was. "What is it?" I lifted my head to look at him, and tried to keep my expression positive. I felt the waves rising. A Magi was talking to a Prophet in private; something was bound to happen. The walls of the ship creaked, and I heard steps and the floor boards creak in the hallway. The wave got a little bigger. Silence hung in the air as the boy just stood there. Instead of trying to guess what he wanted I waited. His hands tightened around his staff. Aladdin looked nervous as he confronted me. "I know you say you've read Fate, but I don't think Fate is something written in stone. It's something that everyone makes together. It can always change." The hallway floor creaked behind the Magi again. The wave was getting bigger. Someone was definitely listening in, and there was only one King that was a chronic eavesdropper.

"I agree," I said bluntly. I wanted Sinbad to hear my answer. Ten years ago, he came to the conclusion that Fate was something already written as a way to cope with his guilt and trauma, and he thought he was 'the chosen one' for being able to read ahead through the waves, but he was wrong on both accounts. "You do?” Aladdin was surprised. It must sound weird coming from someone who read Fate. "I've read more than one Fate for this world, so I know there is no one true path." The manga, anime and OVAs were a little different after all. "And if Fate couldn't be changed then I couldn't be here." I turned so I was sitting facing him. "You see, I wasn't in any of the Fate I read. I wasn't even in this world until five days ago." The magi took a few steps towards me with wide eyes. Aladdin had felt very alone for not being from this world -now he would know he wasn't the only one. It wasn't a reveal that caused problems on its own when Aladdin explained in the original so I didn't see an issue in letting Sinbad overhear about me either- I had already implied as much the previous day. I felt the need to elaborated. "Everything I do changes the Fate I read because I wasn't here. For example, only one of the Fates I read showed the conversation where you all found out about the Kou Fleet. Remember how I yelled at Alibaba? If I didn't convince him to leave then King Sinbad would have knocked him out, and Alibaba would be kept asleep with medicine for this whole trip. Since I was there this time, I was able to change that." "Oh!" He brightened up a bit. "I much prefer things this way." "I agree. Like this it will be much easier for him to heal." I looked down at my intertwined hands. "I have no idea how this will change the Fate I read though." Aladdin hummed a question mark, but he didn't say or ask anything directly. I answered the obvious question to my words, "I can't read a Fate that I'm a part of, so now that I'm here I can't read how my actions are changing Fate. Eventually, the Fate I did read will become useless, and I have no idea if I'm changing it for the better." It was only as I said it that I remembered that Sinbad was listening. I had basically just told him that my usefulness as his Prophet would have a definite expiration date. All I had wanted was to let Aladdin know that he might not be able to rely on me for everything. I definitely wasn't thinking clearly. Aladdin cut into my thoughts. "Is that why the Rukh are so active around you? Because you weren't originally a part of the Flow of Fate?" "Probably." I didn't know what else to say. I knew I had to be making distinctive waves in the Rukh just by being here, let alone with all of my changes. "Miss Mori, where are you from?" I hummed in amusement at that. "I'm from much farther away than you or your parents-if you can believe it." I was from the same world as the person who wrote the original Fate of this world. There was no way I could tell anyone that. He was shocked again. It was written all over his face that he was questioning if I was really from a dimension farther away than Alma Torran. Aladdin gripped the flute that he always wore. "Then... Are you the person he didn't recognize?" "He?" Which 'he' -oh. I lowered my voice. "Ugo?" I put one finger over my lips and looked at the door. Sinbad has to remain ignorant about the Sacred Palace; he's too self-absorbed. Aladdin looked confused at my change in volume. He followed my gaze to the door and back then nodded. He didn't look all that surprised that I knew about Ugo. I kept my voice low. "Aladdin, let's talk more about this some other time. The walls have ears on such a small ship. And I'm exhausted." "Okay. Rest well, Miss Mori." Aladdin spoke at normal volume. I heard a scramble in the hallway, the magi left, and I put my glasses in the top of my bag for safe keeping. I could hear Aladdin through the wall. "Oh! Mr. Sinbad, Mr. Ja'far, did you want to check on Miss Mori too?” "Uh, yes. How is she doing?” Was King Sinbad's response. I could hear the nerves he was trying to

cover up. "Real smooth there, Sin." I mumbled as I finally drifted into unconsciousness. --- I was a young man of 20 some years. I had started a family. We didn't have enough money for food. I ended up taking a risky job because I knew it would pay better. ... No. I'm a six year old girl? I don't remember if I had parents, but I remember going to visit this old dog every day. ... If life was hard, and I had nothing to loose then there was no reason not to bet everything I had on one last round. How could I return to my family without money? The last time I saw my son he was three. Would he even remember me? ... Ya know, when you grow up with someone and everyone else can see your chemistry you'd think it would be obvious that we'd marry when we grew up, but she met someone else. ... I knew things were bad, but I never even considered that my neighbor was stealing from me when I was at work. Bastard stabbed me with my own kitchen knife when I caught him. --- I wasn't myself in my dreams. Every time I woke I had to ground myself and remember where and when I was. Rereading the scrolls I had made helped. Just how many Rukh had merged with me, and why? I had no connections to any of those spirits while they were alive. Was it just because ghosts like me? I wrote down every dream I had; their lives might have been over, but they were a part of me now. I was too exhausted to go on deck, and I could feel that there were still more lives inside of me that I had to get aquatinted with. When I wasn't sleeping, I was working on scrolls again since I at least had enough energy to write and draw. My breathing was getting difficult, and I was struggling with temperature regulation. I wasn't okay enough to tell if it was my body struggling with the changes in my magoi, like when Sinbad took in all the Rukh after the Fall of First Sindria, or if I was just sick. After making sure I could still use magoi manipulation I decided that it was probably the later. I mainly left that room for food, and I waited until almost everyone was done before going. I avoided talking to others too. If I was sick I needed to minimize my contact with others. Alibaba seemed to be in a similar state to me. We both found that staying near each other when around the others made them less likely to approach us with the depressing cloud that hung over us.

Those that did see me could obviously tell I was unwell. From their words it seemed like they were assuming I was just mourning -they were only half wrong. It gave me an easy excuse to leave, so I never corrected them. I did feel bad for worrying everyone. The whole situation sucked. I wanted to cry. I had been in lock down back home because of Covid-19 for 8 months as an at risk person (it's still Oct 2020 in this story). I was literally in a fantasy anime world now. I wasn't given a better immune system, but my boobs didn't need a bra anymore??? WTF?? If the current arbiter of Fate was me writing fanfiction, then they had a lot of explaining to do. ... Who was I kidding? I knew why I would write something like this. I wanted to see more stories about people like me -someone with my disabilities and life experiences- get to be someone "valued" even if they couldn't be on the front lines. My migraine wouldn't go away, and it wasn't the only part of me in pain. I think I got palpitations a few times -breathing was even worse during those episodes. If I hadn't had health problems growing up I probably would have been panicking. I knew it was stupid to not tell anyone what was going on with me. But would anyone even be able help me on a ship? Telling them would just make them worry more than they already were. Aladdin and Morgiana could tell something more was wrong with me; I couldn't fully hide from them while sleeping in the same room. They must have let the others know since they gave me some pain killers at some point. It tasted awful. I'm honestly not sure how affective it was, but it did knock me out. ((Skip to the next paragraph to avoid the trigger)) At least I was left alone most of the time. I had no choice but to sit with my thoughts about Balbadd. I grew up mourning. The blood on my hands might not be the same as losing most of my loved ones back home, but it was damn similar to when I was in high school thinking "if only one of us had answered the phone that day." The Balbadd revolt would have been much worse if I wasn't there. And even if I had said something sooner there was little that could be done to actually stop Al Thamen when they had their hands so deep in that country. Even with Sinbad there to sway Fate, Al Thamen would still find a way to spill blood. Even if I told Alibaba days in advance and he tried to talk to Cassim about it, Cassim wanted nothing to do with Sinbad, so any help that came from him would be refused. Cassim was twisted around Issnan's fingers and out for blood. I did the best I could. My actions did save some people. I'd have to take solace in that. --- I woke up to something wrapped around me, almost like I was tied down. I couldn't move my legs. I gave up trying to untangle my skirt and covers from me, and just pulled the skirt out from under the cloth belt -kicking the whole mass off like a cocoon. I had put my underwear on underneath and I still had the tunic on so I wasn't left totally uncovered. Star light shown in from the window. I had slept through another day. I couldn't remember my dream. Maybe I had finally returned to having my own dreams. The other beds in the room were occupied. My head was still swimming. I felt trapped. I needed something. I heard the waves outside, and felt the waves of Fate washing over me. Their sounds called to me. Back home I had used the sounds of waves to meditate and stim regularly. I had been hearing them all this time, but I wanted to see them. I didn't bother to slip on my flip-flops as I made my way to the door, didn't even think about grabbing my glasses until I was already on deck. It had been so dark below that I couldn't see anyway, and didn't realize I wasn't wearing them. The wave of Fate I had been following lead me farther into the space. When I hit it's end, the adrenaline that had got me that far died out. The night air hit my legs and I shivered. It was colder than it was at night in Balbadd. I thought we were heading south. Did I still have a fever? The cold reminded me that I really should have put on

my shorts or something before coming out here. The tunic just barely covered me. My vision was going grey scale. This was bad. Really bad. I recognized this feeling. I was about to pass out from not being able to breathe right. I used to have fainting spells as a kid because of my weak raspatory system and needed to carry smelling salts for a few years. The last time it happened was about five years ago -I had been really sick. My head was throbbing; my heart was pounding. Guess I was sicker than I thought. I needed to focus on breathing and getting to the ground. I stumbled to the bowsprit (the pole that sticks out the front of the ship) as support. I needed to get to the ground safely before I collapsed. I'd gotten a concussion once because I didn't get down before the black out hit. A wave crashed into me from behind. If I hadn't been putting all my weight on that wooden shaft I would have been pushed over even though it wasn't a physical wave. What in the world was behind me that would cause such a wave? I removed one arm to look back as my knees started to give out. There was definitely someone there. Their color balance didn't match anything I could remember, but they were really familiar. Without my glasses I couldn't really tell anything -especially since everything was becoming different shades of black. And I already had bad night vision. The light was fading. Shapes were getting harder to discern. Even though I was breathing deeper I hadn't managed to counter the fainting spell. I was going down. I definitely fell, but it didn't feel like I fell for long enough to hit the ground. The feeling across my back was really familiar. Someone had caught me.

Sometimes I was able to stay conscious when I fainted. It was kinda like ending up in sleep paralysis but with a -20 to all sensory inputs. Seemed like this was one of those times. I couldn't hear what they were saying or see them. It was like my head was deep under water. There was a pressure on my forehead. Were they checking my temperature? When someone faints you're supposed to lay them on the ground and position them so they can breath easier. This person didn't take first aid classes or forgot or something because I was being lifted upwards instead of laid down. It was really warm and comfy though. I liked this feeling. What was it? Safe? Was that it? I hadn't felt actually safe in a long time. I certainly didn't feel safe in that house back home even after everything was over. Maybe it was the feeling of warmth and safety. Maybe it was the way the waves were moving. Maybe it was the numbness that comes with blacking out. But whatever it was had stopped the pain. With the pain gone I calmed the rest of the way. I felt my spine straighten out onto a soft surface. The warmth faded even though something was now covering my legs. I was in a bed. The cold was back without a source of warmth to leech from. I definitely had a fever if I was this cold. Damnit. I grew up with all sorts of chronic health conditions and have always gotten sick easily. Even though I was now in an anime world, I was still me. Was I going to die in this world from some common illness that was already cured back home? We might not have had a lot of money back home but I was lucky enough to get a job with usable health insurance that let me work from home during a pandemic. I could at least get medicine every time I got a normal illness. I was finally able to afford to get and keep an inhaler. Not that any of that was of use to me now. My motor functions were returning. I rolled to the side and curled into the fetal position. I had lost everything. No home. No friends or family. Who would want to look after a stranger with nothing to give back? I was doing what I could to seem worthy of the main cast, but how long would that last? The story would reach its end in five years. What would I do after that? What was the point of all of the savings I had managed to make back home if I was going to be Isekaied? I had been the main bread winner and now my family couldn't even use my savings because I hadn't left a body behind as proof that I had died. All of the thoughts and feelings I was still running from were flooding through me. I couldn't even distract myself with writing scrolls or anything. This was probably for the best. Pushing things away for much longer would be unhealthy. And if I couldn't let myself feel miserable when I was sick and alone, then when could I? I let the tears fall. I hadn't been a loud crier since I was a kid, so I was caught off guard when I could hear my own sobs. I didn't have it in me to hide any more. The bed I was on creaked but I hadn't moved. There was a new weight on the mattress.

I wasn't alone.

The concept that someone was checking on me hurt harder. I didn't grow up in a healthy environment, so now feel immense guilt when someone shows me genuine kindness. But I am also aware and recovered enough to know I deserve kindness, so the guilt always paired with an equal amount or more of relief. I felt a hand stroke my hair. They wanted to comfort me. And I wanted comfort. The waves washing over me encouraged me seek out more. I used what little strength I had to pull myself against them. Having undeniable proof that I wasn't alone and that someone cares was overwhelming. The relief made me cry harder. I'd have to thank them later. But for the time being I'd pour out as much emotion as they'd let me.

[jennsmischievousmind]

Fucks not Found

Ghosts

Summary: You hack, that's what you do. Dying to do so freely, wasn't what you had expected. Meeting the weirdest fucking squad; losing the best part of you; falling for a thief : was not planned.

Pairing : Four/Billy (Ben Hardy) - You

A/N: The story goes through the all movie, so I suggest you watch it before reading.

I don't own any characters other than Eight.

English is not my native language, I'm trying to get better at it, please be indulgent.

Tried my best to match Ryan Reynold's level of sass aha

Ch1 Ghosts | Ch2 Florence | Ch3 A Matter of Seconds | Ch4 I need a Backdoor | Ch5 Die Hard | Ch6 White Flag | Ch7 Haunt the Living | Ch8 One, but not done [end]

This is how you die.

"So you're the one who hacked the wrong guy" You swiftly turn around gasping at the sudden voice in your apartment

"Depends, you’re his hitman?" You were ready to run even if it means jumping by the window.

"Nooo, I'm an angel.” You snort at his sarcasm, unknown to you at this moment that he was full of it.

"Wanna disappear?" he asked taking a seat at the kitchen table eyeing your bags at the door.

"In a body bag? Slowly you make your way to the knives, just in case.

"You are a funny one, aren't you? I know the man you stole from, you won't get far until he got you. But, he emphasized, if you’re willing to do what's right.."

"I've already done my part for the flag." Assuming he was American by the way he talked.

"I'm not talking about shitty drug dealers. But evil war-lovers, genocide perpetrators, that kind of shitty so-called human. Those ones that are above the laws with governments' balls in their hands, ready to squish them.”

"That's gross" your brother appeared from the adjacent room. You let your mind consider the stranger’s offer as soon as you look at your confused brother, knowing he was in danger because of you.

“You two look at lot alike.” The guy leaned in, screwing his eyes at you both.

“We’re twin dumbass” your brother answered glancing at you wondering.

“What’s the deal?” you asked considering the offer

The guy smirked, “Well, to be short you die, and then you take down evil motherfuckers without governments’ backlash on you.” He tapped his fingers against the Formica table.

It took 5 minutes.

"One condition, my brother comes to!"

"What's he good at?" he crossed his arms.

"I can drive…Hold on what? Die? Who the fuck are you!?”

"Already too many questions” he rolled his eyes

"He's a hell of a driver, it got him under surveillance when he got chased by 6 police cars after an illegal race back in the States."

"So they caught up Muttley” the guy clucked his tongue

“Hey!”  

"No, you interfered almost ashamed, I told him to stop the car...I got motion sickness."

The guy erupted in laughter, you two watching him unamused.

_

“I’m more like Peter Perfect.”  Your brother mumbled as the guy left.

You look by the window discreetly, catching a glimpse of the guy mingling in the crowd. “You’re Muttley bro.”

A week later you got a text. The guy who called himself One had planned your fake death. A random trek in Italy’s mountains, an assumed fatal fall, no bodies recovered.

It was never supposed to be your life. But we all know nothing happens as it should.

Papà went to fight a war and disappeared, you were forced to move in America when you were 6.

Mammà never cope the loss of her motherland and husband. She died of a belated broken heart syndrome when you were 16. 

Both you and your brother were placed in a host family. It wasn’t a crappy family like it’s always the case in some tv show, they were nice and wealthy. The father was a tech engineer, somehow you took interest in his work and start learning to code, soon reading about hackers: white hats; black hats; “We are Legion”, you were hooked and skilled in a matter of time.

When you turned major though, things turned difficult, the host family had to let you go and Internal Affairs of your state caught you looking in their network. Which led to you working as a C.I for them, it was that or prison. Not thrilled by the idea but obliged to cooperate was your new motto.

Your brother had some job here and there but nothing steady, so money from the IA was welcome.

After a year and a half, I.A ditched you, it was rather good news in a way, they’ve erased your past mistakes but said they’d keep a distant eye on you.

So you moved on from your shithole that was the 1 bedroom apartment you and your brother shared and went to your parents’ hometown in Italy. Your brother was reluctant at first as he couldn’t even say hello in Italian, you taught him as your mamma had done it with you but he wasn’t that interested.

Working with people was not your forte, you were too bossy, so you got fired ... plenty of times: from a coffee shop, a rental bike shop and a tourist city tour bus thingy. So you started doing what you were good at, hacking for money, it went well for a few years, never being too greedy - until you hacked the wrong person and got in trouble.

That's how you became a Ghost and ended up in the middle of the California Desert.

_

One had built a squad. No names, only numbers to identify each other. Not calling your brother by his name was a challenge, same for him.

There were 7 of you.

One, the “boss”, a mysterious sassy billionaire who decided to fund his own strike team.

Two, a French blonde woman, pretty cold, a spy apparently

Three, a crazy hitman who couldn’t shut up

Four, a young parkour master and reformed thief

Five, a Doctor, but you heard she was actually working at a Dentist

Six, your brother, the annoying driver.

And then Eight, you, the Black Hat somehow becoming a hacktivist.

Why not Seven? Long story short, it was one more condition you’d submitted to One.

_

_SICILY

"Your focus determines your reality.”

“Oh for fuck's sake One, quit your Jedi bullshit!” you loosed your temper typing on your keyboard angrily. An entire week, an ENTIRE WEEK quoting Star Wars!

Four and Five laughed in the comm. One braced himself on the other end of the line. Three cut the heavy silence.

“Eight, Chiquita please stop yelling”

“I’m not a Chiquita stop saying that!”

“Ok ok chi…Eight, damn you’re stressful” 

“God, why do I have to team you up!!” One facepalm

“Now what?” Five asked

Radio silence

“Oh so now no one’s talking! What are you, 4?” One angrily called out to you 2.

“Yeah, uh high, literally.” Four answered One, you snorted.

“No ..  damn not you!”

“You called me Mate!” Four said offended

“No, shush – Eight are you done with the system?” he was about to lose it.

“I’ve been done with it the second Three called me Chiquita!” you crossed your arms in front of your laptop.

“Hey ..” “We’re not talking about that again!” One cut Three

“Can we get going now?” Two interfered, you heard her bike roaring.

“Finally, some sensed words.” One said wrapping it up.

Four entered the place you’d hacked the system of. Six and Two were not far in case of trouble.

“Four, the hard drive is in the main office. Second floor.” One enunciated, you followed Fours progression with the security cameras.

It was enlivening, stressful, but oh so exciting. When you worked with I.A you were never there when they’d go down in action, it was nothing but boring data researched and dealer’s MacBook.

“Freeze Four, guards coming east.” Switching cams you gave him a safe path.

“Ok, you’re clear. Now to your left, third door then turn right.”

Four got his hands on the hard drive containing all you needed to know about the next target.

“Well done.” One congratulated the team

“Thanks, thanks, It helps to have a sexy voice guiding you” Four chuckled, you blushed, sexy voice? is that even possible?

“Great, kid. Don’t get cocky.”

You rolled your eyes at the endless use of Star Wars' quotes.

“Hum that’s my sister, remember?” Six growled tightening the wheel

“Luke grab Solo, meet up in 15minutes at the hotel. Everyone move!” One instructed you smiled at the thought of being Leïa. Gosh, you were as much of a nerd as One.

Climbing down the jeep Three had rented, you laughed seeing your brother holding Four in an arm lock for a few seconds anyway, Four reversed the lock, pining your brother’s arms behind himself.

You passed by them “Easy with my twin please.” Four wasn’t releasing his hold so you stopped, turning back you lift an eyebrow at Four insisting he let him go.

“Oh!” he lifted his hands in defence taking a step back.

Grabbing your brother by the sleeves as he was about to jump on Four “Come on piccino” you made your way in the hotel laughing.

_ 

Your first big mission started a few weeks after, everyone gathered in The Haunted House as One called it, an old bunker, cheesy name for an HQ.

“You don’t get it, I need a CAR!”

“That’s a car, Six.” Three argued back.

“No that’s a heap, that thing won’t get us through the paved road of Italy, believe me.”

Four and Five were amused by the situation, Three had rent a truck and an old Volvo for this mission.

“Alright, shut up, we’ll get another car!” One declared, Six flicked to Three.

One resumed the mission’s details. Giving everyone their own missions. A simple mission, retrieve a lawyer’s smartphone.

In the midst of it, your hand flew to your brother’s head next to you. The smacked resonating between the walls of the unfinished bunker.

“Why ..why’d you hit him?” One asked confused, your brother was rubbing the back of his head frowning at you.

“Cain’s instinct.” You replied wriggling your fingers for him to continue. Four snorted, Six nudged him in the ribs.

In a few months, you had learned a lot from this weird squad. Learning to shoot was an obligation, Three was insane but a good teacher.

You’d asked Four to teach you some parkour in case of a chase. Six and Four became close friends in a matter of time. Five was nice, but you were never one to be good at making friends. Two was not a big talker and frankly, she scared you a little.

So you spend your free time hacking and reading, on the hammock installed between a dismantle plane and a dead tree. Not far from there you could hear Four skating in the empty pool and three at the makeshift shooting range.

Suddenly,

“EIGHT!”

Groaning you closed your book “WHAT!?

Your voice boomed against the caravan and lost itself in the desert, but you still hoped Four had heard. It was his thing, screaming your name instead of coming to you directly. At his silence, you wriggle out the hammock and strode to the pool.

“What’d you want skater boy?”

He was lying in the pool his board by his side. “Four?” you made your way to the ladder, “hey” you gently nudge him with your foot but he didn’t move.

“Four? you called out worried, “shit” knees hitting the vinyl liner checking if he was breathing, he wasn’t.

“Hey wake up, seriously dude don’t make me do CPR on you, I suck at it!” suddenly laughter erupted in your ears. Six appearing on the edge, Four chucked on the floor.

“Pranking you..he tried to breathe in, is always the best sis!” Six laughed even harder at your confused face. Still kneeling at Four’s side, he was looking at you laughing, until he wasn’t, catching a glimpse of worry melting with anger in your eyes.

Punching his left shoulder, you hurried out the pool. He stayed on the floor watching you go.

“Don’t make me do CPR I suck at it!” your brother was still laughing his brain's out.

_

“What was that?”

Four leaned on the dead tree near your head, his shadow offering some shade.

“A real bad joke?”

“No I mean, why’d you hit me?”

Sighing you clasped your book closed for the second time today “you really got me worried, happy?”

“No, you propped up on your elbow at his answer craning your head to him, I didn’t mean to scare you.” His warm hand slide in your hair at the base of your neck, he leaned in, letting you enough time to push him away if you wanted.

"Sorry" he whispered, his lips pressing in your temple gently, warmly for a few seconds. Catching yourself leaning in you almost fell off the swinging' hammock as he released his hold, he grinned and left not saying anything more.

"What the hell Four!!" you yelled at him, an ounce of laughter in your voice, a blush creeping into your cheeks, his own laughter filling the desert's silence.

FLORENCE

A/N: don't forget to double tap if you liked it. 🙏

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

03 - Music Room 3007

Chapters songs:

*Dagger; Slowdive

On The Level; Mac Demarco

F song; Strawberry Guy

^^^ when including * in chapters next to a song, that means it is a song that will be performed in the chapter.

———

— Y.L. Perspective

      "Sunshine girl is sleeping. She falls in dreams alone," sings Toruku in a calming tone into a microphone, along with the strumming of a guitar. "And me, I am her dagger. Too numb to feel her pain."

     "The world is full of noise, yes. I hear it all the time. And me, I am your dagger. You know I am your wound." I join in, adding onto his

      The words we sang were truly upsetting. About a boy, a lover, who is aware he's hurting the girl he loves. I couldn't compare any relationship I'd ever been through to those lyrics.

      Although one had always caught my eye: "I didn't really lose you, I just lost it for a while." It was easy to automatically think of the boy I was duetting with when we covered this; for some time now, Toruku has had small feelings for me.

       One of the things that repelled me from a relationship with him was the idea that it would end horribly, and that it would potentially ruin our relationship.

      Not to mention how much drama that would cause for two other unproblematic teenagers who were only trying to make a living off of their talent: Hikishi and Giki.

      But today wasn't about what would happen between the two of us— today was her day.

     "I thought I heard your whisper, it happens all the time." And with that, the song is brought to an ending, followed by my gaze met with the blonde boy.

       "That was, once again, better than before. But I feel as if it's missing something." He explains, as he removed the wooden instrument from his arm and leaned it against the bean bag he sat in.

       Music room 3007 contained the following: I couple of bean bag seats, a coffee table, a vending machine, almost every instrument in existence in an extra storage room, tools used to record and analyze music, and posters + records we kept throughout the years.

       Truth is, music room 3007 wasn't even really a part of the school anymore. Sure, it was still on maps and the district still paid the electricity, cable, and water bill. But barely any students or teachers paid much attention to it, for it was stuffed behind the gyms, which were two large buildings that would block out any view of the smaller one that stood behind it.

      'I hope Sugawara won't have any problem with finding this place.' I think to myself, as I stand from the chair to turn the camera and microphone off.

      We would set up different amps, microphones, and cameras when recording a cover of a song. This time, it was a basic acoustic from 1993, named 'Dagger' by Slowdive.

     After turning it all off, I plop back onto the cushion. "I think we've don't this quite enough times already, 'Ruku. We should upload it already and get on to the second song. I mean, we've been here a whole hour trying to perfect 'Dagger'." I say, removing my uniform's blazer, and throwing it across the coffee table. Next came my tie, and I unhooked the first two small buttons of my white collared shirt. The music room got hot when so many electronics were in use.

     "Maybe you're right. We should probably get onto another song." He replied, running his hands in the bridge of his nose and down his neck.

      I quickly stand up from my chair and stand behind him, leaning onto his shoulders. "I think you're just tired. Are you sure you wouldn't wanna go home?"

      Toruku runs a hand up my arm, patting my shoulder, then sighs heavily. I couldn't imagine how tired he must be after today. His thoughts must've been wearing him down. "Yes, I'm sure. Besides, I don't wanna leave you all alone."

      "No need, Sugawara will help me get home, remember?" I ask him, followed by a moan of protest. It worried me that Sugawara and Toruku most likely wouldn't get along, especially since both seemed so compatible at first.

      Both his hands leave mine and lay in his lap. "And what's with this Suga guy, Y/n? Is he your buddy?" His voice echoed through the band room, stabbing the back of my brain while I think for an answer that wouldn't sound suspicious. I would say no, but who knew what the future could hold.

"I dunno. But he means no harm! At least I think so.." Tired from squatting, I lift to stand on both feet properly. Toruku slides his hand away from my figure and brings it towards his face. It covers his mouth as he once again sighs. "You seem tired after today, Ruku. Is it because of Moku?"

Hopefully, I hadn't overstepped any boundaries with what I had said. Hopefully, I was remotely correct about why he looked so down. "Yeah, it is. I won't act as if it doesn't bother me because I know it bothers you too. Although it's been three years, I still feel very guilty for going on without her."

'At least he knows I'm here with him.' I thought, moving to the bean bag I had been in just a few moments ago. By her, I meant Torukus passed girlfriend, and my best friend: the reason I practically stopped living at the age of fifteen. Honestly, Toruku and I weren't even really that close. I knew her as her boyfriend and he knew me as her best friend. And as close as we were to her, we were never friends. Moku's death only brought us closer to each other, stirring up the beginning of a rock band.

      "I know what you mean. I do. Thankfully, this birthday of hers went better than the last two, wouldn't you say?" I ask, leaning on my elbows that sat on my knees.

      "Definitely. The previous ones all ended up in fights and long makeups. I guess we're just more laid back about it now," He explains, getting up from his seat, and browsing the instruments that were hung on the wall. His fingers wrap around his belt loops as he stands. "I feel bad for getting over her so quickly."

       "I know exactly what you mean. Never forget that I'm right here next to you, Toruku. That we've gotten through this together instead of alone. Although I wish you had talked to me more when it had first happened, I was all alone!" I chuckle at the last part, even if it wasn't funny at all. "I think the life we made out of our relationship has turned out for the better. Look where we are now: moving to American in about a year to sign to a label. Wouldn't she be proud we've gotten so far?"

      "Maybe you're right," Toruku says, leaning against the back wall. His hair danced over his eyes barely, as they stared right at me. "Maybe you should hit up Toru and Hajime, ask how they're doing. They went through this too, you know."

      "Yeah, I know. I haven't because I'm afraid of what they'll say, or if they even say anything at all. They're both a part of a very different social class after all. If anything, I'll probably get a simple thumbs up on my message." My voice grows low, expressing my tiredness from this conversation already.

      Toru and Hajime were two other people that used to be in my friend group with Moku throughout our childhood. Both were loud and expressive and played volleyball, but they were also very kind and friendly towards Moku, Toruku, and me. Once middle school had started, the five of us grew closer and closer by the second. We joined volleyball clubs, hung out at our houses practically every day, and grew popular throughout the years. But once Moku had passed, we all fell apart. She was what held us together after all.

       Both Hajime and Toru decided to go to another high school, and Toruku and I went to another. After that, we hadn't heard a single word from them.

      "It's worth a try, Y/n. We wouldn't want to seem inconsiderate." Toruku says as he pulls out a pack of cigarettes from his pockets, as well as a lighter. After lighting one, the smoke leaves his mouth slowly, as he continues. "I wish you would at least try to make amends between them. You were closer to them than I ever was."

     "I'll try. Just not now."

———

       After another hour of practice with Toruku, the two of us stood silent on our phones while we waited for Sugawara. Something told me that he had gotten lost. Either that, or he just forgot about me, which I wouldn't blame him for.

       But right when I was about to tell Toruku that we should go home, a message from an unknown number had shown up on the top of my phone screen that alarmed me.

      [Text Message: ###-###-####]

Hey, I can't find the music room. It's not on the school campus. Either that, or it's the most invisible classroom ever brought to this school.

     [Reply to ###-###-####]

I'm assuming this is Sugawara? Sorry, I don't have your number saved. If otherwise, the wrong number.

       After the second the message gave me a preview, I fully entered the screen. It had a profile picture, but not a contact name. Although, that was my very first-year-like of me to be irresponsible. [Sugawara] read the title after I'd edited it, and nothing more. Only a few brief messages that we had just sent to each other.

Sugawara

  

Hey, I can't find the music room. It's not on school campus. Either that, or it's the most invisible classroom ever brought to this school.

I'm assuming this is Sugawara? Sorry, I don't have your number saved. If otherwise, the wrong number.

Actually, right number! But seriously... I have no idea where the hell you are. Is it off-campus? I might just cry if I don't figure this out. I've been at it for a solid ten minutes.

Ten minutes?? Damn boy, you could've just asked to meet me in the cafeteria or something. Toruku and I have been waiting here for a while as well.

Sorry!!

No need to apologize.

- you have started sharing your location with {Sugawara}-

Thanks. See you in a bit.

      After discussing where I was hanging, I decided to look more into this saved contact. 'Had I really been so close to him as to have discussions with him?' I think as I decide to read a few more messages above our most recent convo. They only consisted of homework answers, tutoring questions, and a few more comments about school festivals and such. A good ten invites to a volleyball game were stored in there as well. I hadn't realized how much he had meant to me just two years ago. Time flies, taking most of your memories with you.

      A few more moments went by before a knock came upon the room's entrance door, as well as the voice of someone behind it. "Uhm— hello..? Is this the right room?"

     "No, go away," Toruku replies in a deeper, scarier voice as he shuffled towards the door to reveal Sugawara standing there alone with a frightened expression.

      Suga sighed, putting a hand over his chest while he smiled. "That gave me a heart attack." He says, fixing his eyes towards my sitting figure. "Ready to go?"

     I nod, lifting from my seat and stretching out my arms while yawning loudly. "God, I'm tired," I mumble to myself, gathering my bag and the tie and jacket I had taken off, before slowly walking over towards Sugawara. "Isn't it after practice? Shouldn't you be all tired and worked out?"

    "Oh, no. Today was only focused on the new players, which honestly didn't go so well." He explained, finishing with a soft chuckle. Though I could tell it was filled with disappointment, for the way he looked down on the floor was purely depressing.

      But quickly steered the conversation another way to distract him from it; that was the least I could do. "Oh, well, today it was just Toruku and me. But thankfully we just recorded some extra vocals so we didn't have to record the rest of the teams' jobs."

     Sugawara distracts himself, taking small glances around the room as I explain to him what we did. He observes the different colors and pictures on the walls, the furniture we helped ourselves to, and the instruments gathered onto the wall. "It looks quite comfortable in here. To be honest, I'm surprised that the school even lets you decorate this place all by yourselves."

       "They didn't, they just don't know about it. It's quite convenient if you ask me.." I mumble, shuffling from one foot to the other. What I said was no lie, we were truly blessed to have had a room to ourselves here on campus. If it wasn't for the band teacher who had shown it to us, we probably would've spent our practice time in a garage where there's no AC or comfortable floors.

      Meanwhile, Toruku explained to Sugawara the reasoning behind each decoration, I check the timing. It was 6:00 PM, just in time for my mother to get home from work.

      "Should we get going?" I ask the grey-haired boy, as he's brought back to reality. He and Toruku sharply turn, pausing their supposedly intriguing conversation, as he nodded to my question.

       "I guess so. Well, thank you for showing me this place, I never would've discovered it if it wasn't for you two." Sugawara states, bowing towards the blonde boy with a cigar.

      "Alright, I'll catch you later, Y/n. And it was nice meeting you today, Sugawara." After I have a small hug to Toruku and said my goodbyes, Suga and I were out the door.

      Our walk began with the two of us climbing down a few stairs, and jogging towards where the sidewalk actually began. From there on, it was easy getting towards the main part of campus, and walking home would be a piece of cake. For Sugawara, I mean.

       "So, do you walk home every day?" I ask, tightening my hands around my bento box. The silence between us rested heavily on my chest; not a single word left his mouth.

       But it may have been because he was stuck in his own little world, for soon after my question, he blinked his eyes a couple of times and cleared his throat. "Oh, no— not really. I only walk after practice when I stay late. But on free days, like in the morning, I ride the bus."

       Nodding, I explain my way of getting to and from school as well. "Me too. Well, usually my mother would drive me before school even started. Either that or I would ride my skateboard and hide it in some gutter. You know how angry the school gets about skateboards." I laugh, hoping he'd approve of joking with school rules. But knowing Sugawara, he probably already knew I bend some.

       "Ah, yes. That's convenient. But how far did you live before moving into [Neighborhood]? Surely not too far, right?" He questions, looking down at me for an honest answer.

        I widen my eyes at this, making my answer to his questions obvious already. "Uhm.. no! Just a mile and a half away, not a big deal.." My head turns the other way while I giggle at Sugawara's shock. It wasn't a big deal for me at all, I didn't mind getting the few extra steps in the morning. As for him, he must have not had to walk that far every day to understand. I didn't blame him for being so surprised. It wasn't every day you find someone who voluntarily walks that far.

      "Oh— that's.. that's a lot! I'm sorry that you had to do that. It must have been hell! But thankfully you have someone to join you on transportation, right?" Sugawara gives me side-eyes, as a smile appeared on his pale face.

      "Yeah.. you're right." My sentence runs low in the cold, shaking as I shift from the sidewalk to the road. The pavement felt hard and slippery due to the transition from winter to spring, yet it was still freezing outside.

      "You know... it was strange bumping into you today. To be honest, I feel like I'm fifteen again. I think that's just how you make others feel, you know?" My words come out abruptly, but I didn't mind. After today's long day all I wanted was one honest conversation.

     Thankfully, Sugawara felt the same I did. "Spending time with each other must have brought back lots of memories, even if they were small." He says to me, observing the way my feet jumped from the curb to the street.

      The feeling he brought was like a scent from years ago when you're a little kid. Whether you're reading by a window, or running through a meadow, you'd forgotten it ever even tickled your senses.

     "It's kind of strange. Even if we weren't best friends, you still meant a lot to me. I'm wondering whether or not you're still the same, and if that could be brought back." I explain, drawing out my arms to make a tree-like pose while I played hopscotch with the roads. The keychains that hung on my badge made a 'clunk!' noise against the ID, meanwhile, I discussed. "We've both changed so much, Sugawara."

       "You're right, we have. But for the better, you know? I think at the moment I'm mentally healthier than in the past year. And as for you, I think anyone can see that. I don't mean that your time of grief was a mistake, but I'm happy that you've been nicer to yourself."

       "Yeah, me too." My words stutter, interrupted by the loud engine behind me. Sugawara and I quickly turn towards the noise, widening our eyes at how close the vehicle was. Suddenly, an ear-piercing honk is signaled from the driver, and I'm quickly pulled from in front of the car to under a streetlight in one's arms.

       The action is hasty and happened in just a split second, but enough to save me from being run over. Barely comprehending what had just occurred, I freeze in place just like the slippery road. And as the car honks off, I'm left, once again, alone with Suga. Only this time, uncomfortably in his arms.

     Lightning travels down my back once I realize I was being held by a stronger, warmer body. Both my arms were being tightly held by his, and my body barely being separated from his by an inch. I stared right into his eyes, as he did so as well.

     "Y/n, you. you've got to be careful. Be careful."

      Sugawara's words ring in my ears, as I rapidly blink to regain consciousness. Immediately after, a scatter to search for my school bag, which was thrown only a few feet away from me. After retrieving it, I quickly stand onto my feet and turn to Suga, who's already prepared to continue our walk.

      "I'll be careful."

      With that, the two of us continue our journey towards home in silence once more.

      I've gotta be careful with Sugawara.

——

Thanks for coming back to read :) I know my story is crappy but I've only been writing for a little so you could understand why. Please please vote for my chapters, thank you.

- star

[rogerina-yee-haw]

Joe Mazzello - NSFW Alphabet

a/n: I'm dedicating it to @starfleet-wannabe💓 babes, you make my days better!!! ily!!!(also I promise you that those imagines abt Joe x Reader will see the light once...I promise you, Erin)

I can't insert the "Keep reading" link from the tumblr mobile app, cause I'm really dumb, so if you don't want to read it - just scroll down k thx

this was requested many times and I'm sorry, my dudes....this is really bad....

warnings: obviously smut lmao, typos (sorry I've read it too many times just to check on errors and I can't look at this text right now, and there are obviously still bunch of mistakes, sorry, fellas)

Joe if you ever see this I'm sorry I hope it never happens

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Joe is the softest human being ever (well, mostly). It doesn't matter whether the sex was romantic and tender or rough and passionate, the aftercare is always the same: he helps clean you up and then make you both tea, while you lie in bed, talking and just spending time with each other.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of their partners)

As it was considered on this website, Joe is an ass man. You can count the times his hands were off your bum; he always keeps his hand on your lower back, and then, if he's in the mood (and he's always in the mood) he starts caressing your butt through your clothes, grabbing and tapping it when he can. It's not like the ass is the only thing he admires - Joe loves all of you, every part of your body and soul. But your ass is just so squishy and soft, and he can't get enough of it.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

If the sex is unprotected, he cums on your ass. Period.

D = Dirty Secret

Joe doesn't have dirty secrets. If he wants to try something, he'll tell you about it; there isn't something you two can't discuss.

E = Experience (How experienced are they?)

Joe is very experienced. He knows exactly what to do to make you scream his name in the bedroom.

F = Favourite Position

Doggy (unbelievable, right?). He also loves reverse cowgirl for obvious reasons. But it doesn't mean that you don't change positions while having sex. He loves seeing you on top, riding both of you into orgasm; he enjoys missionary and every other sex position, simply because he gets to try them all with you.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

Come on, it's Joe we're talking about here. Sex is sometimes filled with him telling you stupid jokes, and always it turns out to be just like he's having a stand up show, while you lie down naked under him. He may crack up some dad jokes during the most tense moments, like when you're on top of him, and you're gasping and moaning, "I'm cumming", he'd say breathlessly, "Hi, cumming, I'm Joe", and you'll just burst into crazy laugh, even though the joke is stupid and not funny.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He doesn't like to be completely bare down there, so he just keeps it trimmed.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

Joe is very romantic (we been knew). He just loves you so much that, even if the sex rough, he still wants and needs you to feel loved and comfortable. The man is so in love with you that he can't stop kissing and touching you, whispering how much he adores you.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

It's a must, if he's away filming. You two like to get yourselves off while talking on the phone, breathing and moaning messily while telling each other the filthiest things. Joe is actually an expert in dirty talk.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Joe's got hella lots of kinks. He's most preferable ones are:

Daddy kink. Do you really think this man doesn't like to be called daddy? If you do, you're wrong. Seeing you twirling in ecstasy when "daddy" is the only thing you can weakly whimper makes him bust a nut right then and there.

Edging. He's an asshole sometimes, alright? Joe enjoys it when you desperately beg him to fuck you. He loves when you're being restrained all day, and you walk around frustrated and horny. Not to mention that the thought of fucking you hard later turns him on immediately. (You love all of it too, even though you don't admit it sometimes; you're also fond of the idea teasing Joe like this later).

Slight voyeurism, but he likes to watch himself fuck you. He's bought a huge mirror for the bedroom, so that you two could have sex in front of it. He loves to pound into you from behind, holding your hair, slapping your ass and saying the dirtiest shit, like, "Watch yourself being wrecked by my cock" or "Look how pretty you look, look at your pretty tits boucing like this cause I'm fucking you so hard"

Dirty talk (it's considered as a kink, right?). Come on, Joe is a master at this. He'd spill the filth at random places; like you two are doing grocery shopping and he comes to you holding a watermelon, leans in and whispers in your ear, "I wish I could bend you over this shopping cart and fuck you till you can't move". And you just stand there bewildered, while he continues his routine. Or when you're on some fancy event, he'd put his hand on your waist and say to you quietly, "You look so sexy like this with this red lipstick. Can't wait when these pretty lips are wrapped around my cock". And your eyes go wide as you choke on your drink, while everyone looks at you weirdly.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Um, anywhere? Joe's just turned on by you 24/7 (as well as you are by him), so he doesn't mind having sex with you in restrooms, closets, empty hallways, in his trailer, your childhood bedrooms... Once you were at the party and caught your friends having sex; no wonder that fifteen minutes later you and Joe were doing the same thing in the bathroom, of course, in front of the mirror. Sex in his car is a must too, especially when you're driving - he thinks you look really hot while doing so. One time you were almost caught doing it in the car by the police, and since then you can't stop giggling like two teenagers while remembering about it.

But Joe loves sex in your bedroom. He just feels like this is the most intimate place on the Earth, where you two can be sincere and sensitive.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Anything. He's got the crazy sex energy, and literally anything can make him go. Once, when you were brushing your teeth, and wearing one of his old tee-shirts and baggy pajama pants, he decided it was a good idea to start teasing you, by leaving wet, mouth-opened kisses on your neck and by fingering you slowly. You evidently couldn't brush you teeth normally at that moment.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Joe wouldn't do something that'll harm and hurt both of you.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He's a pro in giving. You'll be screaming and grabbing his hair tightly, even though he barely touched you. And as you love giving too, he wouldn't ever be against it.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

You can experience every pace during the time you have sex. He may start roughly, pounding into you harshly, and then go slower, stretching you gently and whispering sweet nothings against your skin.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Joe loves quickies. Once when he was on set and had to leave for shooting in five minutes, he pinned you against the wall of his trailer and fucked the soul outta you. "It's just a preview of what you're getting at night", he winked at you while leaving and you just gasped. This man is something, y'all.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

You both love taking risks. Joe enjoys having sex when the guests you invited to your party may come at any moment; he once decided to start fingering you while you were at dinner with your family. "Such a good girl, taking me so well", he whispered in your ear when you struggled not to moan loudly in front of your parents. "I'm gonna fuck you so good when we get into the car. I'm gonna reward you for being such a good girl and not cumming here".

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)

If he and you are feeling alright, 2 and more rounds. But if one of you is not okay, and the sex is just full of love and reassurance, there'd be just one round.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

You own toys. And Joe's using them on you. Especially when he's being a little shit - means when he's edging you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Once you were having an unplanned and sloppy sex in the secluded bathroom at one after-party of the awards, and he pulled out right when you were about to cum. He initiated the sex and denied you both. That's how much of a "tease" he is.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He's loud when he's in the mood. He can moan loudly, and sometimes when you feel incredibly good he comes while screaming your name.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Joe's got a breeding kink. (It's not really surprising, though, this man radiates dad energy). He gets hard just thinking about you being pregnant with his child. Man wants to have a family with you, and that's why he can barely keep it in his pants when you're around (always).

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

His dick is a perfect size to make you scream. That's it.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Joe's sex drive is immeasurable. You have no idea how this man can always be horny and ready to fuck.

Z = ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He falls asleep as soon as you two cuddle; when you start breathing in unison, he nods off pretty quickly, still holding you tightly.

[agentunwin]

RUNAWAY [SHAWN X READER]

A/N: God this is honestly so bad because I just wrote it really quick just to have something to upload, so I’m sorry in advance jdks

Prompt: It’s your wedding day, but the man you actually want to marry will be sitting in the crowd.

Warnings: Cursing, angst, fluff (why is that a warning?)

Words: 2,381

Masterlist

-

The curls peeking from the side of the door are the first thing you notice. Shawn never was very good at sneaking.

And as he watches you and your bridesmaids getting ready for the big event that was starting in all but 20 minutes, he couldn’t control the stream of different emotions flowing through him. 

You’re wearing a long, flowing, diamond-studded dress like the star you are. This dress was you; the embodiment of class, elegance, beauty. You were gleaming, your makeup absolutely perfect, hair styled pristinely.

The glow emanating from your face was ethereal. You looked happy.

But not happy because of him.

Shawn's mind goes blank for a while, thinking about everything and nothing at the same time, and he only comes to when he notices you kindly waving your bridesmaids out of the room.

At this, Shawn stands up straight and clears his throat, pretending to check his time or fix his hair or adjust his tie; anything to not make himself look suspicious as the girls passed him, going to fulfill their duties somewhere else.

The room he had been listening in on was now silent, and the war inside his mind was only growing. Should I go in and say hi?, he'd ask himself, or should I just leave?

The long, strange silence is broken when your voice speaks out, catching him off guard.

"You can come in, Shawn."

Shawn's eyes go wide at the realization that he's been caught, but he stands up from the wall and nervously takes a few steps into the room, feeling blessed to even breathe the same air as you again.

You look different than you did just a minute ago. Your glow has dimmed, eyelids suddenly heavier, and your smile- if that's even what you could call it anymore- has turned timid and shy.

Was this the effect he had on you now, when not so long ago, he was the only source of your happiness?

"H-Hi." Shawn breathes out, nose stinging with warning of his tears that would inevitably fall at some point tonight. "Long time no see."

You only nod at this, lipstick-stained lips pressing together.

"Uh, you look great." Shawn compliments, eyes brightening the slightest bit. "Really great. I see you got the dress you always told me you'd wanna be married in."

"Yep. I love it." You mutter blandly as look down to your lap for a second, your left hand beginning to instinctively play with the engagement ring on your right hand. This has become a nervous habit of yours ever since the ring was given to you 9 months ago.

"That's a big rock," He chuckles, and you can tell at this point he's just trying to keep some conversation going, dancing around what he actually wants to say. "Must've cost a fortune, so I'm guessing this guy is loaded. Who is he, anyway?"

"His name is Michael." You hum, nodding your head. "He's a doctor, so yeah, he's pretty well off. That doesn't matter though."

Shawn bites the inside of his cheek and contemplates his next words. His ex's wedding day surely isn't the best day to confess his feelings, but it's been eating him alive for 2 years now. 2 years of crying himself to sleep, 2 years of writing songs about you, 2 years of misery. And god, he wants her to know how miserable he really is, but that wouldn't be fair to her.

"How's your love life going?" You suddenly ask, eyebrows raised. The question confuses him but he knows you're only trying to make banter as well.

Shawn opens his mouth but nothing comes out as he awkwardly stuffs his hands in his pockets.

"I've tried speed dating and dating apps and those sorts of things," He finally speaks up, but his next words are barely audible, you're not even sure if you hear him correctly. "It never works, though.. Because it's not you."

You bite your lip and he can see your eyes get even heavier at the shift of mood in the room. Shawn feels awkward and he feels stupid, but he continues talking, probably making things worse for himself.

"I miss you so much, Y/N. I miss coming home to you after long days in the studio and spooning with you. I miss those talks about what our wedding day would be like and what dog we'd get and what our kids would be like. I miss the way your face would light up with excitement every time you see me. Now, we're acting like strangers and it's killing me." Shawn takes a deep, shaky breath when he's finishing his words, trying to keep his tears at bay. He shuts his eyes and licks over his cracked lips, "But I also love seeing you happy. So if this is what makes you happy, you have my full support."

He doesn't open his eyes in fear of what you might do or say. He feels embarrassed that he just laid all of that on you when he told himself it was wrong- that it wouldn't be fair. But he did it anyway, and he could already feel regret seeping into his bones.

"What if I'm not?"

Your voice is shy, just a whimper on the tip of your tongue, but it's enough for him to whip his head up.

His eyes go wide and he furrows his eyebrows, "What if you're not what?"

"Happy." She sniffs, and now he can see the tears in her eyes as well.

His jaw drops and he's gaping at her, mind spinning. "Y/N, no, no, no, what do you mean? You have to be happy, right? You're marrying this guy, you have to be sure!"

"God," You chuckle bitterly, a look of disbelief on your face. "You sound like everyone else in my life. I can't do this."

That's when you start really bawling, and now, Shawn has absolutely no idea what to do with himself. He's standing in front of the bride who's hands are covering her face, completely ruining her makeup, and if someone were to walk by right now, this would not look good.

Shawn runs to shut the door and then he runs back over to you, kneeling in front of you and grabbing your hands in his. This familiar touch is what you'd missed for so long. It was strong and comforting, just like all of him.

"Y/N." Shawn says sternly, forcing your eyes up to his. "Tell me what's going on."

"He's not a good person!" Y/N immediately screams, tears streaming down her face even faster now. "All he cares about is money and his job, all I am to him is a trophy! But I have to marry him, I can't deny him because everyone in my life only wants me to marry a rich man. They don't even care about how I feel, and now I feel like I'm in hell every time I wake up in the morning and you're not next to me. I hate this, I hate him, I hate myself!"

You're pounding at Shawn's chest with every last word as you completely break down, heaving and hiccuping wildly, and Shawn swears he's never seen you so angry before.

Shawn catches your hands in his again to get you to stop and his grip is much stronger this time, making sure you don't escape him. He doesn’t know what to say or do and his mind is just trying to when you add the icing on top, your watered eyes looking straight into his.

“I miss you, Shawn, I miss you so fucking much.”

He’s been waiting to hear those words leave your lips for 2 years now, but now that he’s hearing them, he feels awful. He wanted to hear them, but not like this.

“You don’t have to do this, Y/N,” He whispers, a single tear straying down his cheek, “I’m not gonna let you go through with this if you don’t actually want it.”

“I only have 10 minutes, Shawn,” You continue to cry, burying your face in his chest, getting makeup all over his suit. “It’s too late.”

Shawn bites his lip and shakes his head, refusing to let you marry a man you despised. He glanced at the clock and got to work, quickly beginning to unzip your dress, being careful not to rip or ruin it. You only stand there and try to stifle your cries, allowing him to execute whatever plan he’d conjured up.

When the dress is off he’s folding it as carefully as he can given the time, and you’re standing there in your bra and underwear, suddenly self-conscious again. He notices your body cowering under his gaze and he wants to tell you how beautiful you are and not to hide from him but there’s no room for that right now. He grabs random clothes from somewhere in the room, probably one of the bridesmaid’s clothes. 

He helps you slip into it and his hands go to your hair, undoing some of the many pins and messing it up a bit. 

He steps back and looks at you, sighing heavily. It was a terrible disguise, but for now, it would have to work. 

Everything is going so fast you can’t even comprehend what’s happening anymore. He finds a bag somewhere in the room and stuffs the wedding dress in and then he’s grabbing your purse and your hand, rushing you out of the room. 

The banquet hall is rowdy, people all around talking and hoping to get a glimpse of the bride and groom before the ceremony begins. 

Shawn’s jaw clenches and he leans down to your ear, whispering, “Keep your head down, we’re gonna go out to my car.”

You do as he says and stare at the ground as he guides you through a sea of people, praying that nobody recognized you. The walk to the back door seems like it takes hours before you’re finally hit with the crisp, fresh air, signaling that you’d made it out.

Shawn’s rushing doesn’t stop there, however. He’s running with you to his car and telling you to get into the passenger seat as he runs around to the other side, throwing the dress in the back seat and handing your purse to you.

“Text someone and tell them what’s going on,” Shawn orders you, wasting no time in backing out of the driveway and hitting the long road back to the apartment. “Then turn off your phone. Please.”

You do as he says, texting one of your bridesmaids, then you’re shutting it off and taking a deep breath, looking over to him. “I can’t believe I actually just did that. Fuck, what did I just do?”

“Don’t worry about that right now.” Shawn insists, glancing at you for a second. You look like you could drop at any second now, completely drained of any energy. “Y/N, it’s a long drive home. You can fall asleep if you want, I’m not going anywhere, baby.”

That one fateful word slips off his tongue before he can stop himself, but instead of you wincing at the word, you smile gently at it, taking it in wholly. You nod at his promise and reach your left hand out, putting your trust in him. He gets the hint and grabs your hand, lacing your fingers in his. 

Shawn gives your hand a small squeeze and then you’re drifting off to the sound of his low singing and the hum of the engine.

A when you wake up, you’re eternally grateful that none of it was a dream. 

Shawn’s gently tapping your cheeks, trying to get you to wake up as he whispers, “Y/N, we’re here, wake up, sweetheart.”

You don’t know if you’re surprised or not when you open your eyes and notice you’re back at the apartment that you and Shawn used to own together. He helps you out of the truck and keeps your hands connected as he guides you inside the familiar, cozy building, heading straight for the elevator.

“You still live here?” You mutter, looking up to him. 

He nods, rocking back and forth on his feet. “It has a special place in my heart. Lotta memories here, you know. I couldn’t let you go completely.”

Those memories immediately come flooding back to you when he opens the door and you’re hit with a wave of sadness.

Your pictures are still hung up on the wall, serving as constant reminders of you every time he’d pass one. The apartment was exactly the same as you’d left it 2 years ago when you broke up with him, complaining that he was never home because of his music. Now it seemed like all his time was spent in these rooms, moping around and feeling miserable.

But not anymore- Not as long as he had you by his side.

The rest of that night, Shawn helps you get ready for bed, taking your makeup off, putting your hair up into a bun, giving you a bath, and dressing you in some of his way-too-big clothes to sleep in.

You’re laying on your side in the bed that you used to spend hours in. It feels familiar yet cold without Shawn’s body next to you. You don’t know what to do while you wait for him and you’re staring at your phone on the nightstand, tempted to turn it on- to see all of the slander, all of the angry and concerned messages. However, Shawn walks in, catching you staring at it, and he sighs heavily.

“Babe, please don’t think about it. You need to rest.” He mutters, climbing into the bed beside you. He pulls you into him and your body reacts to him like this is normal, like Shawn never left you. Your back is to his chest and your legs tangle together naturally as he nestles his face into your neck, pressing a light kiss there.

“I’m so glad you came back to me. This bed never felt the same after that night.” He whispers and you swear you feel a tear drop onto your skin, making you frown. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Shawn.” You sniff, a small smile replacing your frown. “I never stopped loving you, and I never will.”

-

A/N: god this is so bad sjdksj sorry

[blondrichclosetwitch]

“Traumatic things happened to that guy. Traumatic things happened to all of You by the way. Traumatic things happen to all of us, we just don’t realize it because there’s no music informing us how to feel, or what’s going to come up, there’s no slow motion..It just happens in real time, and then the next moment and then the next moment.”—-4:00 looking inward, sarah Silverman

**************

You'll crash the car, man, if you drive (considering all the times this song has played, i had never sung it before, despite that i saw hole in the 90’s and almost moved to seattle to do a documentary on k&c with my bestie, phoebefleur. And i definitely didn’t notice the car crash reference until about an hour ago.)

He's still tied to the bed (you do know, don’t you, that psychic jakk had told me he was chained to the bed, forced to look at an art “altar” of me being tortured, and that his dog was dead in the corner? No? Like i said...horrific fanfic.)

Oh, baby, I know where you live (she knows where i live, and vice versa. She still has the key to the downstairs door, actually. )

I know I've got a screw loose

Just meet me in the bedroom (one specific channel said besides her pocketbook, a certain someone got promotions through her talent of blow jobs...and a few of those bosses were brought down by the #metoo movement.)

I'm infrared, I'm in your head, I won't be leaving soon (infrared is used in sensing & detection. There have been a few sensory cameras in my apartment, like the one in the painting that the TR gave me, but dainichi said he detected three different “bugs” after that. The “i’m in your head, i won’t be leaving soon” is a reference to the psychic binding the TR did so that blondie would be able to psychically influence me and jakk. Easy to do when you have access to someone’s personal concerns as she did. Things that were stolen from my apartment include jewelry, intimate concerns, and the towel i used for my vibrator. )

Oh, I can see your underpants ( oh and the underwear. Lots of underwear stolen.)

No, and I can smell her on you everywhere (jakk once told me that any time he went home, blond would tell him exactly what he and i had done. He mentioned something about her being able to “smell” what we had done, and he would be blown away by her precision. Well don’t date a telepath, dude. )

No, baby, I can not forget and I'm coming for you! (this is a reference to our past life shit. )

You know how when your phone went dead?

Well, that was me on the other end (i have lost track of how many calls or texts i have gotten from her. Admittedly there have been a few times that she would have people call me, like the time someone called me to mock me about being on meds after i got out of the psych ward as i got to to the tree. That feeling of being watched was always around...though it was a while before i truly understood the surveillance.)

I really felt the vibe: It said “I love you, babygirl”, you know ’Cause I can read your mind (this refers to when i thought for a short period of time that blond wanted to be my girlfriend, because she was leaving me so many flowers. Once my mind softened at the idea of her possibly courting me, all of a sudden it seemed she was leaving me sweetness everywhere. But then one of my elders told me it was mindfucking.)

Watching you walk back

Was the lowest point of my life so far (this one has to do with jakk breaking up with me on the street. So unlike you, jakk. )

Bouncing off things and you don't know how you fall

Your power is drained, so you cannot go through walls

You're caught in this matrix, don't know where you play it

You hate it, it could be your favorite if you make it your friend(this song at this point is kind of a joke that i text to jakk quite a bit. Are we still friends, dude? But today i realized it all had to do with this part of the song, which is about this sort of weirdish alternate world kind of matrix that we fell into. Alternate worlds are chaotic and unclear places where you never can define what’s happening, and a lot of spirits spend time there.)

Forgiving who you are for what you stand to gain

Just know that if you hide, it doesn't go away

When you get out of bed, don't end up stranded

Horrified with each stone on the stage

My little dark age (for one, the first past life reading i ever got, the one about me and jakk took place in the dark ages where i was a perverted bishop, but the double meaning here has to do with what i refer to as “a bunker in brooklyn” where i went months without seeing anyone or using the phone or internet..that’s the horrified on the stage part. Horrified at what i saw before me, which often was me being told about violence, or imprisonment))

I grieve in stereo, the stereo sounds strange (all playlist narrating what was happening to and around me)

The image of the dead, dead ends in my mind (reference to me only talking to the dead 24/7, and psychic jakk)

love's seeping from the guns (starting on 9/11/16, before my niece died, there were several times i was told blond was going to shoot jakk, because PJ kept saying he was going to leave her)

All alone, open-eyed, Burn the page, my little dark age (this i take as the way out was i had to stop talking to all of them to get back on the ground)

Pure sadism

Pure sadism

Pure sadism

Pure sadism (i think this part is evident)

I find it harder to speak

When someone else is listening (i’m known for not being able to speak as well as i can write)

Yeah, it helps to describe it (the songs help for me to paint the picture, that’s spiritual support)

If I’m being honest with myself

I haven’t been honest with myself (this could be applied to any of us, including myself)

(Someone makes it all stop)

Thinking about you lying in bed, it's gonna get inside your head

And it's the best that I can do, this is the closest I could get

So let it penetrate your consciousness

Press repeat and there I am, and there I am, always glad to be your man

And this way, oh well there won't be any mess

As I assure you that there would be in the flesh

And I'm always there for you, I'm always on time

Unlike in real life ( this for me pertains to both jakk and blond. Psychic jakk and i had conversations about how i was being counseled not to talk to him psychically, and “his” response was “no, i need this”. So a world was created when he told me he needed me to have sex with him to keep his schizophrenia at bay. A very dark world.)

(Did you get control of her mind like that?)----i’ve put this jane’s addiction lyric up a couple of times. It’s no accident it plays so much. I think about the people of brooklyn, and not to be all “poor me” , but i still remain blown away that all these people just looked the other way.

Especially members of the “cult” who knew what was up. I think there’s something there about millennials and their total mean girls act in lieu of where empathy should be. I’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again: never in all my years have i experienced cruelty like i have in new york. In an ideal world, you all will be held accountable.

Dizzy in the head and I'm feeling blue

The things you've said, well, maybe they're true (jakk)

You turned to me as you were

Threading daisies on a chain

You said, "It's decision time again" ( the future)

And we walked back to the road, unchained (end of story)