#― 𝐉𝐈𝐍𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃 ! ❯ thread.

[myjinri]

aaes winter gala closed starter for @loosecchange

the gala still had some runtime left, but jinri wanted to leave. she had been one of the first arrivals, and have been making small talk all night with whoever was around her. her social battery is low and has been extremely low for the past half hour, but according to her manager, she's expected to be here for another hour. perferably two, but they weren't going to push her if she absolutely couldn't stand being there anymore. she had felt like a robot since she arrived, running on autopilot, giving well-trained answers to questions with a small smile on her face to mask her true feelings. fuck. she needed a drink badly, but she had promised herself she wouldn't go anywhere near any alcohol while away from home.

the start of dinner provided her an escape from reality into her own mind. she kept an ear listening in case someone spoke to her, which rarely happened since she appeared to be focused on her food instead of the people she was sitting with. occasionally she'd bring herself back to the present and add in a few comments to the discussion going on at the table, but went back into her mind once she had nothing else to contribute. she had spaced out long enough to have completely missed the small ceremony the event was having as well. noticing that the people around her were speaking once again, she quickly looked around to see if anyone notice she was out of it.

her scan of the room was what made her realize she was sitting next to someone she knew: hyunwoo. that fact startled her a bit because she had been detached enough that she didn't take the time to see the people she may have been talking to. she can't remember if she had spoken to him directly in that time, which she internally cursed herself for. she couldn't remember what was the last thing they were texting each other about either, nor who was the last one to respond. jinri had an inkling it might've been her, only contributing to her thought of being the worst friend someone could have "hey stranger, long time no see. i almost didn't notice you there." it takes everything in her to muster up a smile that reaches her eyes opposed to the blank stare she just had, but it was still genuine. diving into a full conversation may be something she regrets with how mentally exhausted she is, but jinri felt as if she owed hyunwoo an attempt at the very least. "have you been enjoying the night so far? 'cause i'm trying but it's been difficult. and potentially give me a few tips if you're having a better time than me?" she's a little nevous, barely voicing her last sentence from uncertainty of how her words would be received by him. after all, hyunwoo could be upset with her for all she knows.

[myjinri]

jinri really had no reason to be in a bookstore, and she was heavily contemplating whether or not she should've actually left the comfort of her home to be there once she was standing in front of a shelf that offered too many books to select from. there wasn't a book she was looking for, nor did she really know what genre of books she liked. reading has never been something she truly considers one of her hobbies, and her confusion while wandering around the place was evident of that. at the rate she was going, she was going to be in the store until closing trying to figure out what book she wanted to start with.

the sound and appearance of a book at her feet startles jinri, but the shock quickly wore off once she recognized the threat was just a book. she then instead looks towards at the other person offering their apologies. a quick recognization causes her to offer her kindest smile and wave of his apology. although she didn't like everlast as the company, she held nothing but respect for their artists these days. "it's fine. it didn't hit me." it was just a split second where jinri's soul left her body, but other than that, she was perfectly fine.

"oh, sorry i don't have any recommendations yet. i was just looking, seeing if anything catches my eye. kind of missed the days i used to read." it wasn't necessary to mention that those days were well over a decade ago or that the last book she can remember reading for fun was a children's book. "i was thinking about picking it up as a hobby again, but it's a little intimidating to try to pick just one out of all the other books." she finally picks up the book and offers it back over to duri. "was that one any good?" she pauses slightly before continuing, "another question, do you happen to either frequent here or know the layout of this place? i have no idea what section i'm in anymore."

a bookstore in seoul. with open.

the air had grown much colder as of late, with some days still being a little warmer - but, mostly that air that was really chilling. duri was more than okay with this, however, considering the fact that it meant winter was coming. and, after all, duri does really like winter, it probably being his first favorite season, with summer falling into line after such. though, winter also meant spending a bit more time inside, which duri definitely didn't complain about - considering the fact that he's much of a homebody, rather than going out because he's not a nightlife person at all. of course, he'd got his few exceptions, but there weren't that many at the end of the day. he'd much rather be in his home, on the couch, either watching a movie or reading a book at night.

which made sense why, on the particular day, duri finds himself with a bookstore. though, he can't say it's a rare occasion for him to appear in such a store. he went rather often, always adding to his collection of books - which was definitely something that duri didn't need to do at all. but, it was as if he couldn't help himself sometimes, because he loves having them. sure, he'll downsize from time to time, getting rid of the books that he didn't enjoy because there was no reason to keep them. so, he always thought that had made up for it.

his fingertips run over the spines of books that lingered the shelves. he picks one up, to read the plot synopsis, as well as to stand there and read a few pages. he was always checking to see if it captured his attention within the first few pages - if it didn't, he would place it back, and maybe come back to it. but, he usually wouldn't. this particular one was such a case, and he goes to put it back, and instead, it falls to the ground - in front of the feet of someone else. "oops!" he says. "i'm sorry!" he says to the other person, before bowing to them deeply. "i didn't expect that to happen," he said, a small chuckle on his lips. "ah, are you finding anything interesting? any recommendations?"

[myjinri]

closed starter for @ofsujis ahn jinri's living room

"should i consider cutting my hair again? like, similar to how it was for 24 hours. it'd be a nice little surprise or something, right?" jinri played around with a few strands of her hair, trying to picture herself with short hair again. it has been six years, yet she's still scared of entering that state of mind again like it attached to the length of her hair. however, the worries are masked and placed on the shelf to be unpacked on a different day as she dropped her hand to her lap and looked at her friend with curiosity, waiting to hear the other's opinion.

jinri's not the type to share the things she thinks of until she fully polishes it and works out all of the details, but suji offers a different perspective on things that helps her refine those ideas. it also helped that suji often had an eye for things that jinri might've missed or not considered. as a result, she had one of the purest forms of adoration and admiration for the actress that had developed over their many years of friendship. having the other in the comfort of the four walls of jinri's home spoke volumes to how much jinri liked the other, as she normally closed the place off to visitors. of course, there were exceptions but there were very few. this was her safe space, after all.

"i normally don't get involved in styling outside of suggesting not cutting my hair again. maybe it could like... contribute to storytelling? i've been coming up with ideas potentially for the future if secret garden approves of it. i don't know if they'll like my proposal. it feels like the entire world is expecting me to drop another lovey-dovey type of song when i'm just simply not that type of person." she based that assumption off of a few tweets she saw, which really holds no weight in the grand scheme of things, but the direction myworld's music is going really doesn't help ease her mind.

jinri took a brief pause after her last sentence. the reason why she preferred to be by herself was because she had the tendency to talk too much and ramble. at least this time she caught herself before it got worse. "i should've retired while i had the chance. then i'd have absolutely nothing to talk about except for how pretty you look today." with legs tucked underneath her, she tried to make herself as comfortable as possible, inviting suji to feel free to do the same.. "i invited you over to catch up, so we'll actually do that."

the idol's gaze briefly shifted the the bottle and glasses on the coffee table. it's almost customary that the two share a drink whenever they meet up, but jinri had be considering cutting back on her intake, but wanted to still provide suji with the choice to indulge in a glass or two if she wanted. shifting her attention back to the actress, she made sure to make that clear. "the alcohol is free game, but if you want anything other than that, i'll have to get up and get that." which she didn't really want to do as she was just getting comfortable, but her desires would take a backseat in the favor of suji since she was a guest.

but there's the inquisitive look in jinri's eyes again as she looks on at the other with full interest. "but what have you been up to? besides the obvious." yes, they've known each other for a few years but they weren't close enough for jinri to be confident enough of her place in suji's life. while she did send a few texts to check in every once in a while, she never felt confident enough continuously contact the other while she was out of the country. "i'm only going to say this once. i missed you a lot while you were away, but i didn't want to bother you in case i was a reminder." the moment of sincerity is gone as quick as it arrived, as she didn't want to dwell on it. the past was the past. "i've been wanting to hang out with you more before either of us gets too busy with our careers again, unless you are already getting booked up to capacity? i'll just have to find a way to squeeze myself in between your scheduled appointments if that's the case." she says with a small pout for slight dramatic effect.

[myjinri]

closed starter for @onesummertime

jinri has always been a little weird when it comes to friendships with other people. she's never decisive on whether or not she pushes everyone away or holds them close to her. it's not like she's overflowing with friends, as a lot of people don't know her well enough to be considered one. what she does have an abundance of, are acquaintances. people she can recognize and place a name to their face and have spoken to.

han yeoreum falls closer to the acquaintance side of that scale. even if the younger had roughly a two year stint under the everlast, jinri still remembers most, if not all, of the others who were trainees in the period between angelic's debut and her own debut. she's seen yeoreum in passing, and may have even had a short conversation all of those years ago. despite not being close, jinri still feels a sense of pride watching yeoreum flourish in her career.

although jinri is older and technically her senior, she's still nervous about approaching a conversation with the main vocalist of future/femme. she tugged at her sleeves, pulling them down to cover her arms for a fleeting feeling of comfort to ease her nerves. "have i ever told you congratulations? because if i haven't, congratulations on the success you've obtained so far." jinri offered a small grin to match the light mood she started the conversation off with. "i've been keeping an eye on future/femme, you're doing some really good work." which is true, she has been monitoring other groups and future/femme was one of them. it didn't take long for jinri to find out about yeoreum's involvement in the group's music.

there's an awkward pause, as jinri is unsure how proceed. this was one of the reasons why she stuck to the circle of people she was already friends with. she could at least predict what the response may be. realizing that she's been silent for a few seconds too long, she chuckled out of embarrassment. "sorry, i'm not good at small talk but i am interested in getting to know you better than the idol that i know from back when we were both trainees." she visibly relaxes at the confession. jinri has made her intentions clear and left the ball in the other's court to decide whether or not this could potentially lead to a new friendship.

[myjinri]

tag dump.

[myjinri]

typically on these type of trips, jinri would be holed up in her hotel room until it was time to make a public appearance, but this time around, the room she normally would've found solace in was suffocating. whenever she enter that room it was constant business talk and planning for the next day, which only made her more upset. it's one of the reasons why she was so eager to join suji once an invitation to accomapny the actress was extended. she didn't know much about the destination prior to suji mentioning it, but she wouldn't have needed to know much anyway. she'd let suji lead her where ever in the world suji wanted to explore. they had similar tastes after all, so it was difficult for suji would take her anywhere she wouldn't enjoy at all.

"suji," the idol whined, "i don't mind getting dragged around before getting what i was somewhat promised, but there's no need to buy me anything. i can pay for it myself. people might start thinking i'm the younger one." jinri brings her free hand up to rest lightly on suji's bicep, practically gluing herself to her friend's side. "you can still pick something out. who knows, maybe i'll find something for you and take pictures of you as well?" she eyes the jacket the other laid her hands one before looking around, letting out a content sigh. "how long have you been wanting to come here? everything's so bright and pretty," and a little overwhelming, but it's nothing she hasn't managed before. "it's giving me ideas. it's a shame i didn't bring my notebook." it didn't actually bother her that she couldn't write down her thoughts, because she knew this was something she wouldn't easily forget.

rod fai night market in bangkok. for @myjinri.

when suji learned this year's gala was going to be held in thailand, she was adamant on penciling in a trip to the rod fai night market. the night market seemed like a destination tailored especially for suji — delicious street cuisine, makeshift bars with a variety of cheap and tasty cocktails, and vintage memorabilia suji never even dreamt of laying her eyes on. but the tasty drinks and rare antiques were only one of many purposes the night market would serve suji tonight. the night market was also an exquisite and vibrant sight, and she wanted to capture every inch of it.

which is exactly why she dragged jinri along on her trip out to the market — seeing as the idol was by far her most favorite model. linking arms with the girl, a relaxed smile settles on her lips as she runs her fingers along the sleeve of a vintage jacket. "okay, i know i said we'd come here to eat — but i really can't pass up taking a look at all these vintage shops. and maybe buying you a couple of cute vintage things and taking photos of you in them."

[myjinri]

it was always a little uncomfortable for jinri to attend events alone. roughly eight years into her career and she still felt out of place at events like this without the other members of her group. well, she’s not completely alone today, but she's been sitting at one of the tables, keeping to herself for a while now. she’s sure she looked pitiful to any passerby. even so, she was just waiting to spot at least someone she knew. one reason was for her own comfort, and two was so that she had a person to seek out in case she got wrapped up in a situation she did not want to be in. jinri was able to spot a few recognizable celebrities, but none that she'd be up to starting a conversation with today. that was until she spotted someone under the same company as her: yoo rioh.

although she worked with true north several times, there was still a small wall between them. jinri loved working with them, but connecting with them outside of the studio was just as successful as most of her other friendships. she did feel a little guilty about not having the much of a connection with her company-mates. they were really talented and were a major reason she wanted to sign with secret garden after her contract with everlast was terminated. she always told them her studio door was always open for them if she was in there, but she knew it could still be uncomfortable for them to do so. with the small break she was taking, she had hoped to strengthen the friendships she had neglected to upkeep so far.

jinri’s eyes slightly widened once she realized that rioh was walking towards her. however, she quickly did her best to cover up the surprise by returning his smile with a big grin of her own. it was the first genuine smile to appear on her face in what felt like thirty minutes. she really was pleased to see rioh and have some sort of companionship for a few moments. “hey there!” she replied with a small wave. “thank you, you look great as well. and of course, you’re always welcomed company. stay for however long you want, i really don’t mind.” she started moving some of her belongings closer to herself so that rioh could have more space. “how have you been? it's been a while since i've worked with you.” since the other said he wanted to have a chat, jinri was now completely focused on rioh. he'd have her attention either until he no longer wanted to talk or someone important intervened. "before I get too ahead of myself and start hounding you with questions, did you have anything you want to talk about specifically?"  

DANCING / QUEEN

♡ WRITTEN, WITH LOVE, FOR IDOL AHN JIN RI SEOUL FASHION WEEK, MARIE CLAIRE BRUNCH

despite what many think, company-mates—especially those of opposite sexes—don't see one another often, if at all. sure, there may be slightly more opportunities for them to intermingle, but in his time at secret garden, rioh can honestly say that he, sadly, hasn't had the chance to get close to many of his seniors. he was very young when he started training, and for the longest time, even after he débuted with true north, he lived at home with his parents instead of at the dorms. while he understands why his parents kept him away from that for as long as they did, it's definitely cut into any bonding time he could've had with everyone else. nowadays, he tries his best to seize every opportunity to interact with them, and as he spots ahn jinri from across the way, he's quick to make his way over to her.

being that she's the main dancer and lead vocalist of her group, it's only natural that rioh admires her the most out of all the myworld members. it's true that each of the girls shine in their own way, but as he and jinri share the same role in their respective collectives, there's a solidarity there that he's always felt. that, and well, he's spent a lot of time studying her performances; observing her technique and individual style. hell, he even shocked staff members once by performing "twit" for one of his evaluations, despite only being fourteen at the time. he's definitely a fan, and when she worked on a few of true north's songs, he had a chance to pick her brain more.

remembering every interaction they've had on the way to her, he smiles fondly, and that same smile is kept on his face as he makes his approach. bowing graciously, he beams in her direction; giddy. "hi!" he chirps, slightly timid. despite feeling less daunted by her, he still doesn't want to come across as foolish. "you look so beautiful! how are you doing? i-is it okay if i take the seat next to you?" he asks, gesturing toward it. "even if it's only for a little while? if you're up for it, i'd love to chat!"

[myjinri]

an eloquent speech, filled with profound words, was reserved for award shows and music show wins. even then, preparation went into the speeches beforehand, leaving her feeling confident. any other time, jinri managed to get by just fine. however, the real problem occurred when she was put on the spot. any situation that caught her off guard often ended with her scrambling to string together words.

that's how she found herself on a variety show, shielding her face from view with her hands as her cheeks burned with embarrassment, while the group's youngest member wrapped her arms around her. it wasn't like there was nothing jinri liked about the other. Her admiration for the younger girl was no secret, evident in numerous clips from lives and youtube videos where she showered imogen with compliments. but the difference between those clips and this incident was that jinri hadn't stated those remarks directly to imogen.

"this is so embarrassing!" jinri whined, voice quivering with mortification as she heard laughter from the hosts. she hadn't expected such heartfelt praise, and now she regretted not expressing more of how she actually felt. finally peeling her hands away from her face, jinri stole a quick glance at imogen, her eyes reflecting a mixture of gratitude and disbelief, before turning her attention back to the hosts.

"giving good compliments really is my weakness, but please let me try again," jinri pleaded. she knew she could do better, and she wanted to avoid any potential misunderstandings or rumors; the last thing she or the group needed was unnecessary drama. her gaze didn't stray from the hosts, but her fingers lightly traced 'i am sorry' on imogen's arm, a silent apology for her previous lack of words.

𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐍   hadn’t   meant   to   ramble.   part   of   it   could   be   attributed   to   lack   of   comfort   with   the   language,   circumlocution   to   get   her   point   across.   though   she   wrote   lyrics   quite   often,   she’d   mostly   done   them   in   english   first   and   tried   to   work   backwards   —-   a   method   that   seemed   to   be   more   miss   than   hit,   unfortunately.   the   alternative   theory   was   just   that   she   loved   to   talk.   most   people   who   knew   her   would   scoff   and   laugh   at   the   idea,   then   pause   to   consider   that   while   she   seldom   spoke,   the   times   she   did   choose   to   open   her   mouth,   a   veritable   fountain   of   words   would   poor   out,   just   as   she’d   done   now.   if   nothing   else,   the   producers   would   have   a   lot   to   pick   and   choose   from.

from   jinri,   not   so   much.   unless,   imogen   realized   with   a   gasp,   they’d   decide   to   pit   them   against   each   other.   one   sentence   versus   a   diatribe,   the  narrative   was   all   to   easy   to   form.   as   the   hosts   of   this   run-of-the-mill   variety   show   cackled   among   themselves   about   the   disparity   in   praise,   imogen   found   herself   trotting   quickly   over   to   her   leader   to   envelop   her   in   her   arms.   ❝   what   you   said   was   good   too   !   ❞   she   wheezed,   half   to   the   camera   and   half   to   jinri   herself.   ❝   i   really   appreciate   it   !   what   you   said   made   me   really   happy   !   honestly   !   ❞

@myjinri

[myjinri]

"that might explain the slight decline i've been feeling all year. i sign one contract and suddenly i'm hosting a little drinking show as if i'm that social." jinri was talkative, not social. there was a fine line between being the two. as a result, hosting and interviewing other celebrities had been challenging for her. it served it purpose though, improving the perception of her to the people that decided to tune in. "that's fair. i should've left it when i had the chance. now it's just another thing i have to look after." she may not have had much of a choice anyway, as social media has become a huge part of being a somebody in the world. it's just an aspect she's not interested in.

"i'll keep in mind that i have grey himself anticipating something from me. just keep the excitement relatively low. i've got almost a year worth of rust to knock off myself before i come out with anything i'm comfortable with anyone releasing." considering she also occasionally writes for true north, it was very possible that whatever she worked on might go to them. "hell, it'll be easier focusing on making songs for myself first, which i've been toying around with but not really committing to." it's been thoughts and brief discussions about concepts and overall themes, but no lyrics or ideas has been recorded.

for a second it had slipped her mind exactly why she was called a workaholic, and ash's words couldn't be more true once she had recalled it. "it may be surprising, but i needed that reminder." she definitely did not miss the long periods she'd spend in the studio, but it was all part of the process. "everlast is holding my creativity hostage until the lawsuit's finished, unfortunately." she half-heartedly joked. it felt partially true, as the ongoing lawsuit was the main reason she took a step back from producing and writing. "honestly? i'm just hesitant to pour my energy into myworld when i'm not even certain i'll have the legal rights to the music i made before." this was possibly the first time she has voiced that concern to anyone, as she'd just shrug and say she's uninspired when she was asked why she wasn't working on any music. however, ash seemed to be the type of person to understand where she was coming from, being a producer and songwriter himself. "but money really isn't a motivator for me. i need something that'll actually be of use to me. your soul any good? or did you already sign that away?"

[myjinri]

"it may or may not have took more time than any sane person with an ounce of fame might be willing to dedicate." jinri bites back a laugh at the thought of the tweets she remembered over the years. "my free tip is to go as far away as possible from the official account." her private twitter account kind of does the exact opposite of that as it's supposedly a fan account for myworld, but she still strayed away from the official mirrorworld and myworld account. the replies under her posts always got worse the further she scrolled. "it's not for everybody, though. not a lot of people want the reminder that it's been over two thousand days since the last performance of 24 hours when they log in."

although ash never explicitly said the words, jinri can still understand the implication. it's one she often thought herself numerous of times. "it's whatever at this point. i'm tired of going back and forth about it. if anything, it's looking like i might be getting back in my studio when this event is over." she hasn't touched her studio since she turned in tinnitus for true north, which might be surprising to hear. feelings of inadequacy plagued her lately, prohibiting her from making music to her heart's content. however, anger was a good motivator for her to at least try. "maybe i'll finally see if i already reached my peak or not."

jinri eyes ash after hearing his remark, thinking the words over. she wasn't really in a better place herself. sure, she hung out with a few of her friends but it didn't really do anything to fill the void she had been feeling. "embarrassingly lonely is an interesting combination of words. lucky for you, you'll be able to scratch off embarrassingly tonight." she can't guarantee that ash won't still feel lonely, but he won't appear to be a social reject with companion. "hm, maybe i'll get you to agree to sign away some of your creativity and talent to me after a couple of drinks."

[myjinri]

the thought is funny enough for her to laugh at. sure, she can take a compliment or two, but she'll quickly get embarrassed if its excessive. that's why she's quick to shut down the idea of a week's worth. "please don't. no more ego inflation or i'll have to label you as a fanatic. i already get my recommended dosage of vanity every time i log onto twitter." instagram is definitely not her platform of choice due to the varying (mostly negative) opinions that floods her comment section. it's part of the reason why she rarely posts and does instagram lives to keep in touch with fans. twitter is often the social media she's on, as she has perfectly curated a timeline full of supportive fans and funny edits. it's not something she uses daily, but it's always a good pick-me-up when her days have been a little rough.

"nope. they seemingly want to undo all of the work everlast did, which is ingrained in me. so, reinforcements were called to make sure i don't do something that'll potentially get a majorly negative reaction before they finalize any plans for me or the group," it somewhat makes sense, but she feels like they're being overly cautious. "something about a fresh start and wanting to mark this as a new beginning. don't know if i'm really buying into it yet, but i'm giving it a try." jinri's sat in too many meetings hearing the same thing over and over this year. she could probably recite the agendas word for word at this point.

she's whips her head around to see the vehicle ash gestures towards and continues walking as she talks. "it was either this or go back to being banished from society within half an hour. it was in my best interest that i took up on your offer, so thanks for extending it in the first place."

[myjinri]

jinri reaches out to pull the red piece from the rack, but pauses as something else catches her eye. quickly switching to the crimson dress next to it, she runs her hand over the chiffon sleeves, admiring the long length compared to the waistline. she pulls it from the rack, revealing a fairly plain dress with a high waistline, mock neckline, and a pleated skirt. jinri laughs as she realizes why it caught her attention. "sorry, this just looks like something i would buy for myself and end up never wearing." she takes one of the sleeves to show off the cape style. "i think what's selling me here are the sleeves. what do you think?" she holds it out towards suji, offering the other a better look.

"i'm just extremely indecisive. i'd end up buying everything i pick out if i'm not careful." it may seem like a joke, but it was true. jinri could only do so much back and forth before giving up, and in this instance giving up means buying everything. "you really should wear it a bit more, but i can't really talk since i'm basically in the same boat as you color-wise." jinri does not have much of an interest in fashion, but she knows where her strong preferences are in regards to styling herself. she still gets her moments of trying things outside of her comfort zone when she's working.

"we're only cogs in the machine that makes the companies money. once we stop being profitable they turn to something else. i try not to think of how replaceable we all really are, though. i've had enough existential crises to last me until i'm at least fifty." too much time to herself caused her to be a deep thinker, which sometimes didn't pair well with her mental health. she just shrugs it off as she continues speaking. "we should go on a trip together someday. when neither of us is busy and are not being eaten alive by the industry."

the idol is quick to become embarrassed and wants to shove the other for making that remark, but refrains from doing so. instead, she scrunches her nose and side-eyes suji. "not another word. don't tell me that." she dramatically shudders before she relaxes once more. "i am a photo hoarder and i've been trying to figure out what to do with all of the photos I have saved over the years because i don't want to delete them." the memories attached to the photos were preventing her from deleting them, which is a problem as there has to be thousands of photos she has been keeping with no real reason.

"i love neutral colors. it's very hard to go wrong with those." someone may consider jinri's personal wardrobe to be a nightmare with how absent the color wheel is, but it was her closet for a reason. "i've seen comparisons that my style is very mary poppins-esque. or that i give off a young ceo vibe. i don't know, people are very creative online." she can't really say those claims are untrue when she has a ton of photos adorning a blazer or a overcoat. "you have the best find of the night, and it's ten times more special because it's for me."

[myjinri]

jinri almost rolls her eyes at the mention of instagram comments. while most of her comments are filled with her fans these days, she still has vivid memories of the comments she read the first few years her page was open. "i'm going to need several years worth of inflation in order to get relatively close to a net balance of zero. ego's been taking hits since i was a teenager, what's a few more in a span of a couple of hours?" she doesn't mean to sound somewhat bitter, but she can't help it when the public's disapproval of her was one of the causes for the constant monitoring.

however she tries to cover it up with a joke. "you don't desire to be a pretty princess locked up in a tower? i mean, all the cool people, aka me, are doing it these days." she's really grateful ash offered a way out. she was debating whether or not she was going to follow through on her plan or return back to her room. her feet start carrying her towards the direction of the doors shortly after ash finishes his sentence. "you don't have to tell me twice. i'll do anything for some fresh air that doesn't come with another person breathing down my neck."

she listens to the options before making a decision, which was harder than it should've been. her mind zeroed in on the bar the moment it left ash's mouth, which wasn't good as that was the first choice he gave. "well, you've offered some good options. those may be some ideas i steal for later. however, i have been itching for a drink, so there's no need to change the destination. i'm not really supposed to be, but a suggestion is not a restriction. either way, a few drinks wouldn't be too bad." she sounds like she's trying to convince herself that's the truth because she actually is.

[myjinri]

while jinri does get annoyed easily, a dropped book wouldn't be enough for her to potentially cause a problem, over a singular book that didn't even touch her. sure, maybe she was embarrassed by how startled she got, but that was expected as someone who startles easily at sudden sounds. "i think that's admirable. also impressive since i haven't had much luck in maintaining any hobbies i had." not that she had many to begin with. majority of the ones she did have relates to her career in someway, so they have stopped being considered her hobbies years ago.

"i have a simliar sentiment towards it. for me, reading has always been interesting, i just never had enough free time to sit down and finish a book. i also like expanding my knowledge and books are able provide that stimulus." she's still not the type of person to opt for biographies over a fictional work. jinri just likes things that makes her deeply think. "i don't even go out to any type of store too often because my sense of direction is sort of bad, so you can guess how i've been doing for however long i've been in here. i think i walked past the same shelf a few times too. i've just been letting my gut guide me and hoping i find something good."

jinri hummed in agreement. if there was one thing she could relate to, it was the desire to be completely engrossed in a work. while in her experience, it was typically with music, that feeling was still something she could understand. "ah, fantasy? i seriously don't know how i ended up here." she softly chuckled, amused by how she managed to end up in a section she wouldn't normally wind up in. "those are all genres that i like watching, so maybe it'd be something i like reading as well?" it was a thought unintentionally verbalized, but she played it off. "i didn't really have a specific genre i was looking for, but i guess i could start with horror and then make my way through the others. sorry, i just have to ask. what made you suggest those genres first? do i look like someone who would enjoy something that gets the gears turning? like psychological stuff?"

[myjinri]

"i admire your dedication to supporting me. you don't have to worry about me magically losing every strand on my head anytime soon. i wouldn't even dream of it. i think the stylists would have a wig permanently adhered to my head if i did." jinri snorted at the thought. her experience with extensions was enough for her. much of her apprehension comes from the fact that the last time she cut her hair she didn't feel like herself and like she actively deceiving others by marketing this "version" of herself that did not truly exist, which was a huge blow to what she believed in as an artist. "i think it'd be good for me. could be symbolic for personal reasons as well, like cutting off dead weight and any attachment from the past and starting over, maybe even rewriting those past memories. it's just something i really need to make sure i'm completely comfortable with, so it may be some time before i actually get around to doing it if i decide to." it has been something she has thought over for a few months already, so a couple of month wouldn't make much of a difference if it took that long.

"i'm just trying to release stuff that is true to me and what i experience, feel, and think. nothing necessarily crafted to guarantee success with the public, but something that deeply resonates. and if it's also continuing my hidden agenda of balancing out the demographic of my fans from mostly male by showing that i'm actually a girl's girl, that's a bonus." jinri has been active for too many years to pretend like she doesn't know what people say about her. the compliments and critiques that she claims to no longer care for, still affect her actions in one way or another. "anything you do for me would be included in some way. i'd fight tooth and nail to make sure of it. being considered a tyrant or hard to work with would be one hundred percent worth it in my opinion." while jinri could write and produce hundreds of songs just for a small fraction of them to make the final cut, she really didn't like seeing other people's hard work going to waste. it's one of the reasons why she's so involved in the current lawsuit for the group's music.

"you know, it always feels like i have one foot out the door these days and i've been told i follow directions extremely well, so maybe i've been destined for that role all along." it's easy to fall into these proposed situations and explore the endless possibilities when it's just a thought. actually doing things like leaving her career behind genuinely scared her. jinri wiped a fake tear at 'anything for you', moved by the words. "and that's why i love you. i think my heart just skipped a beat or two at you being mindful of me. i'll make up for it the next time we meet up."

one thing she learned is when to compromise, especially when she knew she wasn't winning. "we'll just have to agree to disagree on that. i'm not holding anything against you. i'm very aware that i'm petty, so if i did, that'd be a whole situation on its own. so, i'll let you do whatever you need to do so that your conscience can be at ease but it really isn't necessary."

"that's more than understandable. unfortunately, i can't offer much optimism since my own experience took me years to be close to okay once i actually realized how deep of a hole i was in... so yeah, i am not going to try to comfort you by telling you something that i don't fully believe myself." empty, meaningless words were likely the last thing suji wanted to hear from her, so jinri would save them for someone else to say. "although, i do suppose that i just became numb? to the comments. i stopped caring some time ago, which might be a little worrisome considering our careers, but there was no point in worrying about comments that are going to be left regardless of what i do." jinri shrugs, mindlessly picking at the hem of her shirt. speaking on her past with the general public was something similar to a sore spot. it was something she didn't shy away from, but still didn't like sharing every single detail about it. "yeah, i suppose working could be good as long as you don't overdo it like i apparently do. otherwise i might have to reclaim my title as the busiest workaholic to exist." it's a joke. a little unfunny, but enough to lighten the mood just a little bit.

seeing suji's eagerness fuels her own, and jinri makes a mental note to finish her proposal as soon as possible. "chances are high that i absolutely will. you know i would only want the best for my work, and that's definitely you. i'd have no problem coming up with a hundred reasons why i need only ko suji."

[myjinri]

"me. i'm the one saying that you cannot buy me things." having someone buy something for her just because they wanted to was a concept that was foreign to jinri. it makes her feel a little awkward, so she tries to avoid it if she can, but she cannot be bothered to put up much of a fight with suji. after all, tonight was supposed to be fun for them. "i should be treating you, if anything. but, i'll let you have this one night since you wanted to come here." a white flag raised to let suji know that she'd would be pliant for their outing.

"deal. though, it may take me longer to find something. you know, i am a little indecisive. i want to make sure i get the best for the best." jinri turns her attention back to the clothing racks, guaging what colors she thinks would suit suji. her minds land on red, but she spoke before she could look further. "going against what must be our so-called perceived aesthetics, have i ever told you i love seeing you in red? and blue?" she knows for a fact that's something she hasn't said before because that's not something she'd randomly bring up. "maybe it's all colors, but i really do like vibrant colors on you." the idol goes to inspect a red piece, but pauses as she listens to suji. "that's... the idea of wanting to go somewhere for personal enjoyment sounds lovely. don't think i've really experienced that? maybe i'll look into it when i turn in for the night." she can't recall the last time she truly wanted something. her life was work, work and more work. she didn't really have much time to indulge in those thoughts when her hands were always tied up in something else. not wanting the mood to get ruined due to this, she quickly moves past it and began browsing the racks again. once hearing suji's offer, the memory hoarder part of her relaxes at knowing that some parts of their night would be documented and not completely reliant on jinri's memory. "as long as you don't mind me spamming you to send me every single photo we take tonight."

jinri couldn't contain the shy smile she had from the compliment. "no need to ask for permission when you already flattered me. i wasn't going to actually stop you from buying me something if you truly wanted to." she finally turns and takes a good look at the dress suji picked out. suji's energy is nearly infectious as jinri finds herself a little excited about the article of clothing. "i love it. definitely get it. you're only adding to the sea of black clothing that i call a closet."