#you have my full endorsement

[vladdyissues]

Hi! First time asking... sorry if I did or say something inappropriate. Sorry for the anonymous as well.

But I really want to know your opinion on this idea I have, whether it aligns with their personality or if it's even possible.

I was thinking something like, it's the usual where Vlad was beaten by Danny and he became frustrated of all his fails especially the last one where Danny humiliated him, perhaps by manipulating his feelings for Madeline. So he decided to have a payback in the same nature. Planning for several days and night without sleeping he came up with a plan to screw Danny over by possessing Paulina and seduces Danny only to reveal that it was Vlad all along, thoroughly humiliating him.

So he went and donated the newest state of the art air conditioner to Casper High to be put in every class, hall, to mask the boy's ghost sense like it did with Spectra. Of course he also had a contingency plan, he is a genius after all, so he made something that would supres his ghost powers and presence in a form of a collar.

In the end Vlad possessed Paulina, Danny was over the moon that Paulina, the most popular girl in school was into him. But as time went by and he noticed that Paulina seemed different, she gave of the air of a spoiled, beauty obsessed rich girl before. But now she seemed thoughful, still a bit haughty but she seemed genuinely interested in Danny's conversation and could catch up with him even when he accidentally said something about his parents experiment.

One time there was a ghost in school he accidentally transformed in front of her, and she didn't even run, scream, or hide. She protected him by leading the others away. And Danny fell for her instantly.

(I just have to add, Vlad's brain at that moment: You fool, why did you run here to transform!? Will this thwart my plans? Don't you know everyone else is also running here? This fool!)

So Danny confessed everything to her, his identity, his family's situation and finally his feelings for her. He knows that he is not worthy of her since she is rich, popular, has a stable family and all he could offer her was himself. Danny had grew to love her.

Vlad too, ever since Danny looked at him with those sparkling puppy dog eyes and the way he and the boy could have a decent conversation without tearing each other's throats out. How whenever he tries to think of Maddie instead his through fell back to Danny. He wanted Danny to fall for him and humiliate the boy, but his plans backfired, he was the one who fell hard for the boy.

Danny was leaning if for a kiss when Vlad couldn't take it anymore and decides to tell the truth. He came out of the girl and showed himself as the unconscious girl fell into Danny's arms. At first Danny was angry that Vlad was possessing Paulina, ruining his confession when Vlad admitted, he was possessing the girl for a long time, the first time she tries to seduce Danny, it was Vlad.

The information was too much and Danny had tears in his eyes. Vlad wanted to comfort the boy but the boy had looked at him with such hatred in his eyes. "You win, Vlad. You got what you wanted so stay away from me." He left while carrying the unconscious Paulina to safety.

Vlad stood there, right hand was reaching for the boy but he placed it back to his side. He regretted his actions. He thought that as long as he explained things Danny wouldn't look at him with that much hatred, he would beat him up in frustration, yell at him but things never worked out in his favor. He should've known that he destroys every relationship he has. He could never make any intimate connection with anyone. It's his curse.

I only though of things until here but I would love to see Vlad and Danny making up. Danny realises how the one he fell for was Vlad, forgives Vlad and probably chase after Vlad who now stubbornly pushes people away after getting hurt (by his own actions)

I know its not much but If you read this or respond to it, thank you!

Not much? NOT MUCH?

Anon, you just sent one of the juciest, most fantastic, well-constructed story ideas I've ever read. It's intriguing. Compelling. Clear motivations, a stellar twist. True to character, because Danny does have a crush on Paulina in canon, and Vlad is known for being so monomaniacal that he fails to consider the consequences of some of his actions. Also he's ruthless, petty, and uses people for his own personal gain. To see that come back and bite him in the ass with the added bonus of opening his eyes to his own past mistakes is just—utterly splendid. And Danny learning the painful lesson that appearances aren't the end-all be-all of a person, that the fantasy of dating a pretty, popular girl is nothing compared to the reality of loving—and being loved by—someone who understands you deeply and truly.

It's all just 😤💪😭😘👌 so good. What you've got here is pretty much the first half or two-thirds of the story, with the climax being Vlad's reveal and Danny storming away. Then that plot rollercoaster plummets down to the abyss where Vlad deals with the repercussions of his charade and only begins to climb once Danny starts to come to terms with his feels. That resolution, when it happens, is going to be so delectably satisfying. I can almost taste it 🤤

[saltyspitoonz]

Fred + Lethal

[queen0fm0nsterz]

Ended up pirating all of Hazbin for the sake of my younger days (used to be a fan when I was around 14/15, before all the stuff with Viv came out) and I am so surprised by how I felt... nothing for the most part. Like a lot of the show's storylines feel like they was crammed in there with no real pacing. A lot of this should have been season 2 territory, which is a sentiment I've seen echoed around, but also... it feels as if the show is trying to be episodic while also having a long narrative thread, which just doesn't work with just 8 episodes. Especially not when paced like this. So I kinda ended up feeling nothing for the most part. All the events got a "Oh, great, so what?" reaction out of me because there was little to no buildup to most of them.

Sir Pentious was always a fave of mine so I was glad to see they kept him around and, though I think we should have had more episodes with him as a villain, I think how he ended up was fitting for what little of an arc he had. I am livid about what they did to Cherri and Mimzy.

I fucking loved Mimzy, I have no idea why they sent her away -- having someone like her at the Hotel would have been a blast considering how the others are already on the road to redemption. She would have balanced it out by being a regular sinner, someone who doesn't care about redemption and won't probably ever care unless it's in her best interests to. Plus her friendship with Alastor was quite cute, they bounce off of each other very well imo. Plus I could see her have a bit of a conflict with both Charlie and Vaggie because of her ways of acting. I'm so sorry they took that from you girlboss.

And Cherri... dear lord where WAS she? She should have been a lot more present. I used to like her relationship with Angel and I even think Cherrisnake is cute conceptually, but both these relationship had... little to no room to breathe imo.

[navree]

Dick should be Romani. Jason should be Hispanic. Damian is half-Arab. I don't know where we fall on Tim, I guess he can be the only white boy in the Robins. /shrug

Tim's upper crust New Jersey rich class, he is white as hospital wall paint. Dick just is Romani, that's straight up canon at this point, I don't know whether they've made it so both of his parents were Romani but I know that at least John Grayson has been Romani for some time in canon, which would make Dick at least half. Damian's a bit harder to pin down because DC has flip-flopped a lot on exactly what the al Ghul heritage is, Ra's I believe is half Chinese and half Arab (where exactly? who the Hell knows apparently the entire Arab world is a monolith for this people) and Talia has that and I think her mom was Arabic so Damian is at least half-Arab with some Chinese ancestry and is, in fact, brown, just like his mom and his grandpa (those ugly-ass movies that made him painfully white are the Devil's work). Jason at least needs to be ethnically ambiguous enough that he was able to wholeheartedly believe that the top three candidates for his biological mom are a Middle-Eastern woman, an East Asian woman of mixed Chinese and Japanese descent, or a blond haired blue eyed white woman. I tend to go for biracial Hispanic because I myself am the child of one white parent and one Latin parent and I like projecting, but I've seen a lot of good stuff with Jason as East-Asian or Afro-Latino that I really enjoy. And Cass is also biracial, since her mom is, again, of Chinese and Japanese descent and I don't know what the fuck David Cain is, and she should be portrayed as such as well.

And if DC could just remember all of this and stop portraying them as just Bruce clones physically that would be swell.

[jellyfishvibes]

Getting hella frustrated about zelda wikis and how limited each are but not insane enough to join the wiki team to add all the shit their missing

[spicybylerpolls]

I supported this account because fiction is fiction and I'm very anti censorship...

But you keep entertaining weird questions about the actors who are REAL people, not imaginary concepts like Mike and Will are, so I think you need to stop that.

I don't "need" to do anything. This blog doesn't draw lines in the sand about what questions can and can't be asked. It takes a staunch anti-censorship position across the board. If people are interested in certain topics (re: the actors) that relate to Byler, I don't see any problem with "entertaining" them, as you put it. And I've gotten many asks related to it, so people are interested. If you don't want to engage with those questions, please scroll on by or click see results.

I do agree that probably more questions should be about Byler rather than the actors since we should keep the main thing the main thing, but I don't see the harm in asking these kinds of questions in general. There's a big difference between harmless, quiet speculation and actually harassing/bothering actors about your theories IMO. Humans are curious creatures by nature, and so it's natural to speculate. We all do it. So why is it taboo to say that we do?

[lovelyrotter]

'omg why are so many ppl in the homestuck fandom talking abt incest and saying theres incest in homestuck🤢' youre. youre reading. the incest webcomic. its. incest is baked into the deep lore how did you MAKE it this far- how did you FINISH this thing?? incestous slurry???? all of daves freudian slips???? rose and dave flirting and not really stopping????? the way that more than half of the cast of characters dont care abt it, refuse to be convinced to care about it, and make a point of saying how weird it is that the humans do care about it?????

[isfjmel-phleg]

🤐

[toytulini]

man i remember complaining about The Bone Bees and someone asking why i drank the 5hr energy and my answer being that i was "a little sleepy!" and saying that "god i shouldve just been A Little Sleepy! it was Fine!" and someone being Concerned by that and being like you shouldnt drive when youre A Little Sleepy! and just being like. i dont know how else to tell you that the Bone Bees Were So Much Worse Than Being Sleepy. i cannot stress enough that the condition it put me in was Worse. i recognize and acknowledge that drowsy driving is bad. that is why i made the Caffeine Mistake in the first place. i was trying to Avoid Drowsy Driving. and i had not Realized that the Caffeine was going to make me So Much Worse Than Drowsy. 0/10 never again. 5hr energy evil.

[thetruekyle]

So after doing some solid Bible reading up at the Parthenon,

I decided to check out that one bench in Centennial Park...

[For Taylor Swift ; 'A bench for you to read on at Centennial Park' ; (Welcome Home, Nashville)]

[samerpal]

"First, I would like to thank everyone who supported me.🙏🌹

This is my new platform, friends, after my old platform was deleted for reasons unknown to me.

I ask for your help in sharing my story again to keep hope alive for me and my family, friends.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.♥️

My family and I appreciate your cooperation and hope to reach the desired goal and save us.🙏

Attached are the verification links for the old account from the supporters.

Link vetted by @ibtisams

Link vetted by @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi

Link vetted by @sar-soor

My approved number by the families in need and endorsed by the supervisors is 196."

@90-ghost @ibtisams @nabulsi @aces-and-angels @sar-soor @sayruq @fairuzfan @palestinegenocide @vakarians-babe @northgazaupdates @northgazaupdates2

Trapped Family in Gaza Appeals for Help to Survive 🕊️🇵🇸🙏

I Samer Abu Ras, am reaching out to you with a heartfelt humanitarian appeal, after the ongoing war in Gaza has cast its dark shadow over my life and the lives of my family. Our lives were once filled with peace and stability before the onset of this catastrophe, but now, we find ourselves living in a situation described as nothing short of tragic.

My wife, Shurooq, our three children, and I are now homeless, without a source of income, and without hope for the future. My family and I have lost our businesses and our home due to the war, and we now have nothing left but the cold streets and troubled hearts.

My children are suffering greatly as a result of these horrific events. They have lost the security and stability they once enjoyed and are now facing new health and psychological challenges that threaten their lives. As a father and husband, I feel powerless in my ability to provide adequate protection and care for them.

My child, who is a year and a half old, is experiencing hardships far beyond his tender age. Since the war broke out, we had to flee our home and seek refuge in a tent in a displacement camp. My child lives in extremely difficult conditions, deprived of safety and stability. The tent does not provide adequate protection from harsh weather, and food and medicine are scarce. My child suffers from malnutrition and illness, lacking basic healthcare. He cannot play or grow in a healthy and suitable environment. My only dream is to see him grow up in a safe place full of opportunities

In the face of difficult circumstances, Samer Abu Ras and his family find themselves facing serious challenges in their daily lives. They reside in a modest tent lacking comfort and security, suffering from a shortage of clean water and food, and encountering difficulties in accessing necessary healthcare. Despite these challenges, they continue to express hope and resilience in confronting adversity, holding onto hope for a better tomorrow and a return to a more stable and secure life.

I appeal to you today, dear friends, to extend to me a helping hand in escaping this hell. Regardless of the size of the donation, every drop of generosity will contribute to alleviating our suffering and rebuilding our lives anew.

We need your help to secure the funds necessary to travel away from these destructive wars and seek a safe and stable environment where we can build a better future for our children

Let us stand together in these difficult times and let hope triumph over despair by providing support and assistance to those in dire need. Let us be part of the solution and build a better future for ourselves and future generations.

Thank you for listening and for the potential generosity of your giving, and for your generous donations that will change the lives of my family for the better.

With sincere gratitude and appreciation

‏Samer Abu Ras and family.

@heba-20 @soon-palestine @marnota @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @i-am-aprl @nabulsi @sayruq @communistchilchuck @palipunk @palestinecharitycommissionsassoc @faggotfungus @ghost-and-a-half @magnus-rhymes-with-swagness @three-croissants @interfacefox @appsa @akajustmerry @feluka @flower-tea-fairies @90-ghost @victoriawhimsey @ficsforgaza @aria-ashryver @mangocheesecakes @humanvoicebox @plomegranate @queerstudiesnatural @commissions4aid-international @palestinegenocide @ghost-and-a-half @bibyebae @heritageposts @norrriey 🍉🌹🍉✍️

🌹🍉🇵🇸❤️🌹🍉🇵🇸❤️🌹🍉

[tyrannuspitch]

people on this website are always talking about how we need more serialised longform media with more pointless meandering where nothing happens well NOT ME. get to the fucking point!!!

[jelreth]

holy shit i now see what that one pamphlet meant about unsafe binding practices. what the fuck. how do you people live like this

[motorsportbarbie13]

Get Unready With Me - Drunk Edition

In which Lando takes care of you after a night out.

Pairing: Lando Norris x FeminineGirlfriend!Reader Warnings: Drunk reader. Tooth achingly sweet fluff tho. Word Count: 1.8k words

Master List

“Lando! I’ve lost my keys!” You cry, opening the flap on your vintage Chanel bag in an attempt to dump the contents out on the floor of your flat’s empty hallway. 

“No you haven’t, you muppet.” He scolds, tugging the purse out of your hands before anything beyond your Charlotte Tilbury lipstick can clatter to the floor. “You gave me your keys after your fifth vodka cran. ‘Lan baby, be my hero and hold my keys so I don’t lose them!’” He mocks, pulling out your keyring from his pocket. 

Your eyes light up, a drunken giggle slipping off your lips as you lean your whole weight onto your boyfriend as he attempts to open the apartment door for you. “My hero!” 

“Besides,” He tuts, slipping the key into the keyhole. “We live together, my keys are your keys.” 

Lando swings the door open, ushering you inside before closing the door behind him with a soft snick of the lock. You look back at him, a bit more unsteady on your feet than you’d like. The pair of you are just getting back from dinner and dancing with a few of the other drivers and their significant others to celebrate the end of the season and you may have gone a bit overboard with the drinks portion of the night.

Flinging your stilettos off your feet, you groan at the relief of feeling the cool tile on your toes, only stumbling a bit when you try to stand up straight. It’s quite the miracle you made it up from the garage to your tenth floor apartment in those heels under your own power really. “I think my feet might just fall off.” 

Lando follows behind you as you stumble towards the couch. “Baby, shouldn’t we just go to bed? It’s late.” 

“My feet don’t work anymore. Carry me?” You pout, reaching for him with grabby hands. You are quite needy when you get this drunk but honestly, Lando doesn’t mind one bit. You’re quite independent, refusing to allow him to pay for much despite his multi-million dollar contract and endorsement deals. In fact, for the first year of your relationship you had refused to move in with him because there had been no way you could afford to split the rent in his posh apartment in Monaco. So when you get needy like this, which isn’t as often as he’d like, Lando likes to take full advantage of it. He likes to feel needed, especially by the woman he is absolutely smitten with. 

“I think your feet work just fine, but I will carry you to bed anyway, pretty girl.” He coos, scooping you up in his arms. 

You wiggle a little against him, nestling your head in the crook of his neck before breathing in his scent deeply. “You smell so good.” 

“I smell like sweat.” He laughs, walking down the hall towards your shared bedroom. 

“It must be the pheromones then. You’re so sexy when you’re sweaty.” You giggle. 

Lando chuckles, knocking the light switch with his elbow as he enters your room. The yellow glow from the lights overhead illuminate your face as you look up at him. In the alcohol induced haze, the thought of how lucky you are to have him flickers through your mind. You two had met a few years ago when you had been attended the British Grand Prix with your uncle Jenson Button. He had literally swept you off your feet when Fernando Alonso had nearly taken you out in the paddock with his scooter. You liked to joke that Lando had literally been your knight in shining armor that day, so of course you fell for him quick and hard. 

“Here you go, love.” Lando gently sets you down on the bed, your eyes already droopy with exhaustion from the day. “Lets get you out of that dress and into something comfy.” 

“Are you trying to seduce me, Lando Norris?” You slur. 

“No, I’m trying to get you into bed because you’re about five seconds away from falling asleep and I don’t want to cuddle you all night with that scratchy dress on.” Lando rolls his eyes but can’t help the grin that spreads across his face. He helps you shimmy out of the tight dress, pulling it over your head so you were left in only the skimpy McLaren papaya colored lingerie set. 

“This is new.” He says, slipping a finger under the strap of the lacy bralette that has him biting his bottom lip. You looked so cute sitting there on the bed, dressed only in his team colors. 

“I wore it to surprise you but now I’m too drunk to fuck you.” 

Lando can’t help the laugh that tumbles out of him. Despite you being 3 sheets to the wind, you know his rules: No sex while one of you is drunk and the other is sober.  And Lando is very sober right now, wanting to maintain some control over you as you tend to get a little wild and adventurous (read: you like to wander off) when you’re partying. “We can have a rot in bed day tomorrow and you can wear it then, okay love?” 

Your bottom lip sticks out in a pout, “Fine.” 

“Now, lay down. I’ll go get you a t-shirt and we can go to sleep.” 

You follow his instructions and watch as Lando bustles around the room, first getting changed himself and then pulling a t-shirt out of his closet for you. 

A few moments later, Lando pulls his t-shirt onto your body and tucks you back into bed before going to get some aspirin and a glass of water for you, knowing you’re going to have a wicked hangover tomorrow. He hates to see you in pain, but a part of him is pleased that you’ll be unable to do much tomorrow so he’ll be able to wait on you hand and foot. Being needed is absolutely one of Lando’s love languages. 

As he goes to switch off the lights, finally ready to get into bed beside you, suddenly you sit up. “Lando!” You gasp, smacking him on the shoulder as he sits down on his side of the bed. 

“What is it, pretty girl?” 

“My makeup! If I don’t take it off and wash my face, I’m going to break out and I will not be your pretty girl anymore.” 

Lando rolls his eyes, “Seriously? Can’t you just skip it this one time? You will always be my pretty girl, breakout or not.” 

In addition to being extra needy when you’re drunk, you are also extra stubborn. “I need to do my skincare, Lando.” You whine. 

“Fine.” Lando is quite certain there is no way you’d be able to do it by yourself, judging by the state you’re in though. “Let’s go, I’ll help you.” 

You blink up at him as he rounds the bed to stand before you, offering you his hand. “Really?” 

He looks down at those big eyes and pouty lips of yours and really wants to break the whole ’no sex while only one of us is drunk’ rule. “Yes, really you muppet. Come on.” 

Despite the fact that just a few minutes before you had been insisting your feet were about to fall off, you suddenly find the ability to walk and pad behind him into the large en suite bathroom. It’s a luxurious place, with a large jetted tub and huge shower with two shower heads. You find yourself sharing a shower with Lando more often than not. On the other side of the white and black tiled bathroom are his and hers sinks, yours more cluttered than his with various skin and hair products. You may be independent when it comes to asking for help, but you are certainly not low maintenance when it comes to your hair or skin.  

Lando stands in front of your sink, eyeing the various jars and tubes with a bit of skepticism. “I hope you’re sober enough to tell me what goes first because there is no way I can do this on my own.” He mumbles.

“You watch me do this all the time, baby.” 

“Doesn’t mean I know what any of this is. Now, hop up on the counter and let me take care of you.” He says, kissing the tip of your nose. 

A fire burns in your belly at his order. Secretly, you do love when he takes care of you like this. You just hate to admit it. Being raised by a single mom who was never the biggest fan of the male species, you had always been wary of asking for help but being with Lando had healed some of that trauma and mistrust in you and the longer you were with him, the easier you found depending on him. 

“What’s first?” 

“The micellar water.” 

Panic flashes across Lando’s face. “The what?” 

Giggling, you kick your feet like a toddler and point to the large bottle with clear liquid in it. “That. Put some on a cotton ball and…” 

“Wipe off your makeup. I know, I’ve seen you do it, I just don’t know what goes when.”

Lando squirts some out on a cotton ball like he’s seen you do a thousand times and begins to wipe off the makeup in long, slow strokes. The alcohol makes your brain fuzzy but the way his face is so focused on his task, brows knit together in concentration, has you squeezing your legs together. He can’t quite believe how many cotton balls it takes to get everything off, but eventually most of your makeup is gone. 

“Now is when you use the soap, right?” 

He looks so eager to be right your heart squeezes a bit. “Yes, that bottle right there.” 

Lando continues on with your skincare routine, listening to your every step and following it exactly as described. It takes a little longer than usual, but neither of you mind. The way he so gently rinses the soap off your face and then applies your moisturizer is strangely one of the most romantic things you’ve ever done together. 

Finally, everything is done and you’re bare faced and freshly moisturized. Lando hands you your toothbrush, already prepped with your toothpaste, and the pair of you brush your teeth together. He gently helps you down off the counter and you follow him back into the bedroom, hand in hand. 

“Thank you, baby.” You coo as you slip under the covers, watching as Lando switches off the bedroom lights, plunging the bedroom into darkness. 

“I love taking care of you.” He murmurs when he joins you under the heavy duvet, your warmth radiating towards him in waves. 

“I love you, Lando Norris.” 

“I love you too, pretty girl.” 

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[elodieunderglass]

Me, at dinner, in the manner of marshalling troops : okay so we’re all clear on what we’re doing tomorrow. First it’s Bug’s swimming lesson, THEN the counter protest, THEN Bug has to go to Isiah’s birthday party, are we clear?

Bug, 4, smugly: I’m invited. 💅

Me: you’re all invited because Isiah has just started school and doesn’t know anybody. Bear is popular and Isiah’s mum wants our endorsement so we are ALL going and NOBODY is smug

(Bear, 7, to Mouse: did you fart

Mouse, 1.5, maniacally: ahahahahahaa 👅

Dr Glass:(lets the chickens come into the house to clean the floor underneath Mouse’s high chair, and then claims the privilege of a spoonie to retire from the scene))

Me: ok so we all understand what we’re doing tomorrow right -

Bear, 7: what are we protesting again

Me: there are some people who think England is full, but people like mummy come from other countries, and mummy and daddy and our friends think that makes England stronger.

Bear: (righteous anger)

Bug: I don’t care actually

Me, fighting for order: Also we can’t let Moss, who is organising it, be all by himself, can we??

Bear: so the people we don’t agree with are there?

Me: we’re not sure, they seem to have chickened out but we can’t let Moss stand alone

bear, unholy, glowing: can I bring my sword

[zephyrchama]

"This is it!" Mammon squeezed the magazine he was reading with both hands. He brought the page closer to his face to scour the words one more time. Then he announced, "It's perfect!"

Lucifer ignored him.

Mammon pushed his shades up so his bright blue eyes would twinkle better in the candlelight. "Heya, big brother... My bestest big bro in all a' the three realms."

Lucifer continued to ignore him.

"Biiig brotherrrr. Big bro. You'll never guess what I just found in a million years." Mammon shuffled across the room and plopped down on the couch where Lucifer was sitting. He wrapped an arm around Lucifer's shoulders and leaned down to gaze up innocently, much to the elder's chagrin.

The magazine was shoved under Lucifer's nose, opened to a full page advertisement for a very flashy dragonscale necklace. It boasted multiple enchantments, numerous rave reviews from celebrity endorsers, and a price tag anyone would balk at.

"You have plenty of necklaces," Lucifer said with a dismissive nudge to drive Mammon out of his personal space. "You don't need any more. Now back up."

Mammon tutted and grabbed his magazine back. "No, no. Big bro, you just don' get it. Wouldn't this look great on our human?"

Lucifer's ear perked up for just a moment. The magazine fell into Mammon's lap as he raised his hands, getting ready to pitch his idea. Lucifer readied to humor him.

"Picture it. Their birthday or somethin' is comin' up, yeah? They wake up all giddy in the mornin'. They come into the living room that's all decked out with balloons and gems and--"

"Who will be decorating the living room?"

Mammon shushed him loudly, "that ain't important right now! Er, I mean... gah, just lemme finish!" He didn't want to get on Lucifer's bad side and risk losing funding for this necklace, but Mammon was in the zone. He felt lucky. "The human comes over to me, and I give 'em this pretty little box. They're excited. They open it to find this awesome necklace that glitters in the light, suits 'em perfectly, and they go 'oh Mammon! You're the greatest! I love you forever! You're my favorite! Thank you so much, Great Mam--'"

"I get the picture. I've heard enough." Lucifer interrupted before Mammon's highly inaccurate falsetto impersonation caused him to go deaf.

"So, are you gonna give me the cash to get it?" Mammon wondered if he could find a shop willing to haggle the price of the necklace down so that he could pick up some other nice things. As a treat.

"No."

Mammon groaned and slumped back, sliding halfway off the couch. He looked seconds away from kicking his feet. "What'd ya get my hopes up for, huh? C'mon, man! It's for the human!"

Lucifer picked up the magazine before it fell to the floor. He studied the necklace page while Mammon threw his mini tantrum. When the younger finally stopped swearing under his breath and noticed, he attempted to unceremoniously snag the magazine back. Lucifer had already turned away and held it out of his reach.

With a chuckle, Lucifer said, "This would suit them, wouldn't it? I can't wait to hear how much they love me when I present it to them."