#you guys NEED to know about these. you need to know. i am literally gnawing away the bars of my enclosure just to tell people about this

[steakout-05]

fun fact: Halfbrick as a company has been around since at least 2001, and they have some archives of their old website from that year as well! it holds some very obscure and interesting information about the company's history, including some lost media. some of their earliest known games that were made independently of other companies, such as Defiant, Farma Llamma and Turbelence, were either cancelled, seemingly never went past the drawing board or are lost.

something i find very amusing about this site is this blog post from the 22nd of March 2001, where they remark that the orange colour from their site has been banished. this implies that there is a much older version of the website that was coated in orange rather than this dark blue and silver, but that has since been lost to time. imagining a universe where Halfbrick never used their iconic orange colour is really weird...

(here is a link to the archive on the Wayback Machine.)

[pepprs]

ok two things. #1 i am IMPOSSIBLY exhausted. just took a nap for a couple hours and have been awake for a bit but i feel like ivr been whacked like a punching bag like good god. and #2 is gonna have to make me delete this post later bc i feel weird and bad and paranoid abt saying it lol but. it’s just fucking weird and bad kinda bc im literally 2 years older than / removed from the students who work closest with us rn (who i spent most of today tabling w) and it’s so awkward bc we’re at the same-ish life stages and ik we totally would’ve been friends if we’d gone thru the same programs together as students but they ignore me / don’t and can’t talk to me like we’re friends bc im a staff member and my attempts to talk to them are lame and weird so idk. it’s just a lot and stressful and sobering

[orcelito]

love when d&d makes u genuinely trembly lskdjfsldjf

fang managed to get an audience with two major leaders in the country. & was just like “You hate that dude, right? I’m his son. Let Me Help.” and they LISTENED......... and just. oh god it was such a big conversation. & fang even dropped his true name in swearing his allegiance to them if they can let him in on any efforts to take his father down 

and jjst. oh my God dnd is still going but fang is just huddled up riding out his minor panic bc. holyyy fucking shit. this day has been. a lot. 

[hana-no-seiiki]

Interested in seeing Yun's A/B/O arc. I am very picky about my omegaverse content BUT. Idea: Alpha/Omega Batfam desperately wanting reader who is a beta, unbothered by their nonsense. They're gnawing on their enclosure as reader says, "The fuck is their problem???"

@sophiethewitch1 just to inflict more damage to your psyche 🩵

like it when you guys use my name so much huhu

YANDERE! A/B/O! BATFAM x BETA! READER

Beta Reader who is just unbothered and unwilling to care about the whole second gender hierarchy and just wants to get a normal job at Wayne Industries

But it’s literally impossible when they have Alpha! Dick as their childhood friend.

You should thank him really, he gave you a spot at your dream (totally) job. You should thank him for many things actually. You’re the only beta he ever told his hero identity to. He gave his whole heart and trust towards your irrelevant beta self. As such, you should be grateful that he asked you out right? Wrong.

Unfortunately, you were already in a relationship with Omega! Tim. Who you met after the death of your partner Beta! Jason. His omega tendencies and the fact that you were unable to fully take care of him as a mate saddened you, but sacrifices must be made for love right?

Omega! Tim who’s just so fucking obnoxious about bagging you. He leaves his scent all over your items. Warding off Alpha! Damian who had been crushing on you since forever.

Alpha! Damian who kept bullying you for being a Beta up until that fateful day Batman suddenly died(disappeared), and you were the only one that stepped up to comfort him. Sure, you didn’t know he was your tormentor (God was he thankful you couldn’t smell his arousal and pheromones going haywire when you hugged him) but you were the only person he felt safe being so vulnerable with. So un-alpha like with. You knew who Nightwing was right? You must know who he was and cared for him eitherway.

Beta! Jason who comes back with a vengeance. Cursing Joker for separating you two. Who hated you for being a beta even though he was one himself, but learnt to love you and eventually his second gender. Whose first coherent thought was to return to his mate, but is heartbroken upon the sight of his replacement.

Alpha! Batman who lurks within the shadows. He knows of his children’s obsessions, he knows you’re the final piece needed for his gamble to succeed.

You who’s unknowingly walking into the jaws of the most unhinged men on Gotham.

….

… Captured! Beta Reader who wakes up to the leering eyes of the Dark Knight. Scalpel in hand.

“It’s time to fix you.”

[aliteralsemicolon]

A bit of my version of Spencer just for you to make your day and because I know you love him 😌

Spencer stared at you from across the table, his eyes followed your hands as they once again rubbed over your tired eyes. It hurt him to see you push yourself and he was screaming on the inside for you to lay down for a bit and rest, but he know you were too stubborn and wouldn't listen.

Your head started to lull to the side and in a split second, Spencer was up and walked over to you, resting his hand on your shoulder.

"Sweetheart, you need to rest."

"Spencer I'm-"

"Don't you start, you are not fine and you are going to lie down wether you like it or not."

You'd never seen Spencer be so stern with you before and it honestly startled you. Usually you'd scoff and tell him to worry about himself, but something inside was gnawing at you to not talk back to him and the only action you managed to do was nodd.

Spencer offered a hand, which you took and guided you to the small couch in the corner of the room. You sat down and Spencer helped you take off your shoes, his fingers accidentally touching the palms of your feet, which caused you to squirm at the ticklish sensation and for Spencer to chuckle at it.

"Let this be a warning to you, if you don't rest up I'll continue to tickle your feet."

That was all you needed to curl up on the couch and escape off to dreamland, where Spencer wasn't torturing you with his tickles.

Moral of the story, get some sleep you dummy 💕

THIS IS WHAT I WAKE UP TO OH GOD IT’S LIKE AN EARLY BIRTHDAY PRESENT KETTLEPOT I LOVE YOU!!!

Ket this is so adorable, I'm gonna cry 😭 you're gonna catch me reading this over and over in class later and when that happens mind your business!!! I'm posting this with the normal fic tags, it can't go unnoticed, omfg ket I LOVE U, we are getting married like tomorrow!!!!!!!

Guys I'm telling u, @mandarinmoons is literally the friendliest and fucking sweetest person on this app and they write bangers like this all the fucking time and I just think it would be really really cool if we (you because I already am) would follow her. and spam her inbox with small love letters because we'd all be insane to not love her.

[anonymous-dentist]

War is hell, so Bad feels right at home every time he steps onto the battlefield and pulls out his sword and watches the humans run for their tiny little insignificant lives. He isn’t a monster, so he only kills them when he needs to. (Who is he, Foolish?)

Some of the humans have started teaming up. The strong with the strong, the weak huddling with the weak. It’s pointless when they die, because everyone is alone in the End, but it’s the thought that counts.

Bad himself played solo for a long time, but now he’s managed to get himself a human teammate of his own. A… weird little ragamuffin of a teammate.

“Hey, Bad!”

Bad looks up from his soup to see Candy waving some guy’s arm around like it’s his own, a big toothy grin on his muddy little face.

Bad waves back. “C’mere, dinner’s ready!”

Candy grimaces, but he brings himself and his arm over to the fire, and he picks up the bowl of mushroom soup, and he digs in.

Candy is a strange child.

He’s a cannibal, for one, which is apparently rare among humans; when Bad picked him up, Candy had been blacklisted from most of the other teams because he kept eating his teammates. (Which is crazy, because a growing boy needs to eat!) Sometimes Bad will wake up in the middle of the night to someone gnawing on his arm, but that’s fine, whatever flesh he may lose will just grow back. As long as Candy isn’t starving, he’s useful.

And then there’s the whole amnesiac thing. Because, apparently, Candy was dropped into the war from a literal helicopter, and he doesn’t even know his own name, let alone the guys that deposited him. He knows how to kill, though, so he isn’t all that useless.

He’s called Candy because Bad calls him that. He says he doesn’t have a name, but he’s fine with having a nickname for Bad to call out in the heat of battle. He’s named Candy because, well, he likes candy. It’s the one thing he likes to eat besides human flesh, and Bad can’t exactly call a human child “Flesh”. That would be weird.

Candy shivers in the night wind and pulls his flimsy little coat tighter around his shoulders.

With a sigh, Bad pulls his cloak off and drops it on top of Candy’s head; Candy shouts, but he wiggles the cloak down around his shoulders, practically swimming in it.

(Candy is so small, it’s hard to believe he’s fifteen. Between the supposed white helicopter that brought him to war and the amnesia and the burn scars on his temples, Bad has an idea as to what happened, but, honestly, he doesn’t care. Really. Because Candy is going to die any day now, and he’ll be much happier in the afterlife.)

“I’ve been thinking,” says Candy.

Bad gasps dramatically. “Really?”

Candy ignores him: “When I get out of here, I wanna be a detective.”

And isn’t that a thought, escaping the war? Of course, Bad can leave at any time. But the humans like Candy are trapped.

(Occasionally, Bad has thought about leaving and bringing Candy with him to start training as his replacement, but the kid isn’t quite Grim Reaper material beyond being astonishingly good at killing people.)

“What, so you can find your family?” Bad asks.

Candy shakes his head. “I want to find the helicopter. I want to kill them.”

“Oooh, good idea! When you do, send me pictures!”

“Duh,” Candy scoffs. He points his spoon at Bad with a roll of the eyes all the attitude of a human teenager. “But you’re actually coming with me, sooooo….”

Bad raises an eyebrow. “Am I?”

Candy nods. “Yeah! We’re teammates! You have to be there!”

With that fire in his eyes and the blood still crusting his lips and fingers, it’s easy to see why this kid is one of the most feared soldiers out there. It’s why Bad has kept him so long. (He definitely isn’t attached, shhh!)

So Bad nods, playing along. “Sure, sure.”

Because, really, Candy is going to be dead soon. Call it a gut feeling. Nobody Bad has ever gotten along with has survived this long, so the poor kid is going to die in a few days. The war is going to take him like it’s taken so many others, and there’s nothing Bad can do about it.

And, four days later when they get separated in a battle, Bad doesn’t bother looking for him when the bodies are all on the floor. Candy isn’t among them, but he’s probably off dying in a ditch somewhere else.

Bad flicks the blood off his sword and stalks into the night in search of his next victory, not noticing two tear-filled, terrified blue eyes following him until he’s out of sight.

(And eleven years later when Bad sees Cellbit in the ruins of a crashed cargo ship, and when Cellbit notices him and immediately bursts into a huge grin, Bad almost wonders if he’s managed to break the curse after all.)

[the-fluff-piece]

"He did WHAT?" - one piece guys dealing with your toxic asshole ex - headcanon

Summary: lots of people have one - the toxic asshole ex boyfriend that did some horrible stuff to you. You told your new OP bf about what your previous relationship was like after some time to explain some of your more unusual behaviours. What might happen when they get the chance to serve that dick some revenge?

A fluff collection of headcanons about Law, Sanji, Zoro and Luffy giving that bastard what he deserves.

And check out my headcanon masterlist

Cw: mentions of unspecific abusive behaviours and trauma responses, and of course, comic violence like it happens in the show.

That said...Enjoy some revenge fantasies! Share in the comments what you want them to do to your asshole ex!

Disclaimer, I feel I need to say this) : I am no psychiatrist! This is just some silly headcanons and in no way a real help. If you feel that things people did to you years ago still haunt you, get professional help, it's really good!

Law

When he first hears the story about how you have been treated, his expression darkens. "I am here now, he's gone" is what he tells you - and himself, too. But it gnaws at him. He hates manipulators that put people in literal or psychological cages. And he hates that it happened to you.

When they meet in person, Law will rearrange your ex's body and is open for your suggestions. Why not replace his head with a cannonball and take his dick as a trophy? He doesn't need to spew abusive bullshit anymore and no one needs his sexual attention anyways.

Law will sleep better, knowing that he did to him what you wouldn't have because you are too good a person

He is not one for elaborate compliments and he is no therapist, but he will try to help healing the wounds you sustained by being the most supportive and positive boyfriend you ever had. If you need his shoulder, he is there. If you feel bad, he will do anything to make you feel better. He will not make you do anything you don't feel comfortable with.

Sanji

As you casually tell him about your past relationship he catches fire and has to run around the ship a few times to cool down. He switches between pampering you extra, extra EXTRA nice and angry mutterings to himself. He promises you if he ever meets that guy, he is going to kick him through all the grand line and back again

When the moment comes, Sanji switches into total ruffian mode. You have never heard that string of merciless trash talk from anyone before and it doesn't take long until he has totally set off your ex, luring him into throwing the first punch. It is, of course, futile, but Sanji takes his time to finish him off. He should, after all, learn that no one should hurt his lady.

He is visibly relieved to have finally gotten revenge for the unacceptable things that guy did to you. He is awaiting your praise eagerly.

Since he knows what it feels like first hand, he feels even closer to you and tells you his stories if you want to hear them. You will heal together, in time. The memories will fade and be replaced with better ones you make together. You support each other in breaking through the self harming behaviour you developed.

Zoro

His initial reaction to your explanations about why you still feel uncomfortable doing certain things is total helplessness. He cannot fathom that someone would ever take the time and effort to systematically destroy their partner. He believes you, but it is so far out of his own experience that it is hard to grasp for him.

It makes him angry, however. Because that dickhead insulted you you feel insecure? What can be broken can be fixed is Zoro's motto, so he will comment positively on everything every time. Even though he is not very creative, his compliments come from the heart, and you feel it.

When he finally meets the guy he is a bit disappointed. That is no worthy opponent. He doesn't honor him with the use of his swords. Zoro will grab him by the collar and throw him off the next cliff. "For what you did to y/n, you coward."

The job is finished, no need to talk about it anymore and forget the bastard ever existed.

Luffy

When you merely tell him about it he will think you got over it just like he doesn't stay angry for long. But when you cry the first time or refuse to do something fun because of him he realises that you are still affected by what happened to you. He will not have it.

When they meet and your shitty ex makes a mean comment? Luffy gets his murder expression and punches that guy to the other side if the city.

You get luffys hat whenever you need emotional support. No questions asked. You get to sit in his favourite spot whenever you want to. You even get the last bite of delicious food if it's what you need.

[themememerchant]

I'M WATCHING GRAVITY FALLS FOR LIKE THE 13TH TIME AND JUST-

WhY??? IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT CARPET DIEM???

Like, this episode was so fuking good!

Like-okay, I get that it's just sort of early show filler, but it's fucking amazing filler!

This episode had what I would consider to be some of the best jokes and one-liners in the whole series, and I've seen some parts in compilations here and there, but I feel like we collectively sleep on some of the raw chaos this episode brought!

Here are all of my favorite bits:

Dipper somehow hitting Stan in the head with a golf ball from the attic

Dipper having his leg gnawed by a wolf compared to staying with Mabel and her friends: "...This is still better."

Grenda walking out of an empty closet: "I don't know what I was kissing in there, but I have no regrets!"

Mabel poking dipper with a random twig: "Get ready to be poked by the fun stick!"

Dipper: "Washing clothes is a waste of time! I'm a busy guy!"

Mabel: "I'LL KILL YOU!!!"

The entire scene when Dipper and Mabel start freaking the fuck out over switching bodies

Dipper giving Stan a sandwich made from literal rocks after he ate an omelette shaped like his own face

Soos: "Nobody thinks it's cute when I lie naked on the living room floor."

Wendy just going:"Nope!" And walking away after seeing waddles screwing around with Soos' body

"I'm a creature of the night-But I'm also a creature of passion..." From Grenda's age-inappropriate romance novels

Stan choosing to step up for once and explain the birds and the bees to Dipper, unfortunately, Mabel was the one to receive "The Talk™" under horrible circumstances

Mcgucket finding a random talking pig in the streets, pulling out a knife and a fork from his beard, and proceeding to chase said pig across all of downtown in the hopes of a free meal

Waddles as Soos convincing Stan to give him a raise after Stan originally wanted to lower his salary

Candy switching bodies with Dipper for no reason other than she wanted to and Dipper being so done with everything

Mcgucket: "Come back! I wanna deep fry yer ears!"

Mcgucket as Candy: "I'VE REGAINED MY INNOCENCE!"

Dipper: "Well, I guess I'm a pig now. So that's a thing..."

- *proceeds to gnaw on an apple core*

Sheriff Blubs and deputy Durland presumably following a talking pig and a rabid old man to the mystery shack under the pretense of "-reports of excessive giggling."

Deputy Durland running into a wall five times for no reason after swapping into Dipper's body

Mcgucket threatening to eat Soos after everybody swapped back to their original bodies

- Mcgucket was really on point in regards to comedy this epsiode

Stan once again being hit in the head from a wayward golf ball

- Stan: "Why am I even out here at night?!"

The fact that Waddles, as Soos, somehow: gave a woman directions, presumably flirted with her, proposed to her at some point, and made his way back to the mystery shack in the span of what couldn't have been more than five hours tops

And that's all I can think of

I think I'll make this a regular thing, where I share my favorite bits and jokes from underrated pieces of media

IDK, maybe my sense of humor is just broken...

Either way, I have to go now, my planet needs me

Auf Wiedersehn, all ye rat children of the holy grail.

[tommyssupercoolblog]

THE SHOW WAS AMAZING OMGGGGGG RAAAUGHGJFHFHFH GOES FERAL AND GNAWS ON MY COMPUTER

ALSO I MADE NEW MUTIALS HI NEW MUTUALS!!!! HEWWO!!!! BAPS YOU WITH MY PAWS

Spoilers under the cut

H-o-t-t-o-g-o, you can take me HOT to goooo

TWINKS ON ICE and "camera flash can be distracting, Phil will fall of the stage and die" absolutely SLAYED me

Dan accidentally said "Dan and pheal" instead of Dan and Phil and they both stopped to pretend to hold the pheal. Dan said that would be a better show than this.

SISTER DANIEL SLAYED

I don't know if this happens at EVERY show but in ours, the audience chose to kill the original Dan and Phil every time

Dan has illegalized ted Cruz but then got arrested for being British. Dr Phil loves helping old ladies cum and his favorite word is skibidi. I don't remember the third facts for either

Even though it wasn't picked, a whole bunch of people around us (and us) started chanting "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK" when they asked what Dr. Phil's favorite word would be. Later we chanted "TOUR BUS" but that one worked!!!!

One of the audience confessions was that someone likes to "mark their territory" (yes. In the gross way) to know what it's like so sister Daniel called them a bad kitty and they sprayed the audience with water. Also Phil called out that some people had their MOUTHS OPEN while they were being sprayed.

The other audience confessions were that someone wrote "Phantrash(insert some numbers I can't remember)" on a wall in invisible ink and then MOVED OUT OF THW HOUSE AND LEFT IT THERE??? And then a confession that just said "someone in the audience thinks you sound like owls" which they both were confused by at first, but then Dan's face like. LIT UP in recognition and he repeated the question to Phil and Phil said "Who?" And Dan LOST IT and made fun of him. LMAO

They explained their first experience at a bucces. And THEN later phil said that his new favorite nuts are bucces nuts (as revealed later when they were asked by the audience to discuss nuts). Also they hate peanuts and think no one likes them unless they're paid to by "big peanut". And they both like "hot nuts" and Dan likes them salted and Phil likes them sweetened/candied. And yes they made sex jokes about it and also Dan said that Phil's favorite nuts were actually HIS NUTS

Phil having the phitties to the wind was not what I expected

I. Could have SWORN that there was an ...."uninvited guest" in the 🍑 part of the wresting match but no one's posted about it even though the whole theatre was like "AUGH!!" And they cut away and I turned to everyone next to us and was like "!!!! Uh oh was that REAL?? Um-" so. Maybe we were wrong. But I was about to be like "DANIEL HOWELL I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOUR THERAPIST IS SO GOOD BECAUSE I PERSONALLY WOULD DIE"

Dan wore a cowboy hat during the musical number

I NEED THAT SONG IN MY PLAYLIST AND THAT DANCE MEMORIZED

I MISSED THE FUCKING PHOTO OPP BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T GIVE ME ENOUGH WARNINF TO UNLOCK MY PHONEEEE evil. Evil of them. Dan and Phil you betrayed me personally. Evil. I DID however get them walking aways

I bought the Dan and Phil made me gay shirt

Unrelated to the show itself but someone was handing out worms, and there were SO many sister Daniel cosplayers, and I happened to sit literally right in front of two other systems so it was like. Halfway through the show we realized that's what was happening and it was like HEWWO???? WOAH. Also this was my first time in Austin and guys... guys some sections of these roads are fucking perpendicular. I saw multiple people with mobility aids and like I HAVE ZERO AIDS AND IT HURT TO WALK ARE Y'ALL GOATS??? ARE YOU JUST NOT ABLE TO WALK OUTSIDE AT ALL AND HAVE TO TAKE CARS??? The whole fucking city is a series of V shapes with buildings on it. Girl why do your streets go straight up into the sky are you trying to drive up to jesus. Liked the rentable scooters tho

[chorizoa]

Entrail of faith — König x f!reader

part 2!!!!!!!! part 2 part 2 part 2!!!

pt.1 is here

I would like to state that I'm literally just throwing myself into this and letting the thoughts blurb; so if it seems messy, loose, or unorganized its bc I am trying my best :) sorry in advance for anything that may seem plot-holey, geographically incorrect, etc. please feel free to comment on my use of language, setting, wtv— I love feedback and want you guys to enjoy it!!!

this one is also a bit longer tee-hee, and also more revoling around you!

cw: more of konig being a stalker, more talk of kidnap and the like, very brief mention of a daddy kink/use of daddy as a title (its more of a sugar baby kinda way, but hes also just gross), he wants to take full advantage of you, he is very nasty but he loves you so :3

no sex.. yet.

You were a smart girl, but maybe if you were a smarter girl, you wouldn't find yourself staring at an empty message log— thumbs dancing over the screen while you gnaw, and gnaw, and gnaw at that pretty lower lip.

It's insane of you, you think. Giving salt to the interest of a stranger, a man who was clearly dangerous— could so obviously kill you given the chance— one you'd caught glances of during your shifts, always seeming to show up only when you work.. But— Christ.

  The years had not been kind, and being a girl settling into her early twenties, a totally foreign land to start a new life in— not a single soul to keep her warm— well, it embeds a certain sense of desperation. Perfect for men like König. Who, of course, could barely handle a woman under any legitimate means.

Inexperience dripped off of you like a waning ooze, glistening with incompetence for what you could be experiencing— a misted perfume that engulfed you, an aura that "spooked" most anyone anywhere near your age. It kept you at lengthy reach from others, and plastic toys had become your only solace in the pariah'ed life you've lived.

Not him, though, it drew him in— and he could taste it on his tongue, swirl it against his gums and swallow like the loveliest shot of Jager. You would be his favorite spirit to indulge in, and all you needed to do was speak.

He already knew your name, of course he did; so when you texted him— confirming that, yes, this was the cute girl from the diner, and frivolously providing your sweet name in your fluster— it didn't surprise him, but it did make him purr with satisfaction. You were so much closer now, so much easier to bend to his will than you could imagine.

Retirement wouldn't be too bad, it seemed.

Perfect, actually, when he really thought about it. Enough savings in the bank to keep him comfortable until he died of old age, or took an unexpected bullet in the neck; and with the added addition of you? Oh, he was going to bask in heaven's light every night. God had sent him his very own angel— maybe he'd pray, just to say thanks.

He wasn't worried about you not liking him— no, not a bit. It wasn't a choice in his mind, either you liked him, or you didn't… and what he had in mind for if you didn't — well.. it was a particularly nasty thing, and he certainly wasn't bringing it up in therapy. Lest he enjoy the comfort of a solitary, padded room with a jacket to match his confinement— maybe even a damp cell, if they felt so generous.

He was going to have you, whether he had to chain you up in his basement, chain you to his bed post, adorn you with a proximity collar— it didn't. matter.

He was going to have you, and you would have him— a smart girl like you would understand, right? He only wants what's best for you.

That's why he followed you home tonight. Silly girl, don't you know you should take the trolley? There's so many bad, scary men out here— you're lucky he watches your every step, and memorizes the direct path to your home from the shadows, someone could hurt you, sweet girl— and he'd have to make a mess, just for you.

He even watched as you poised your fingers to text him, that sharp sight was a blessing— and observing you as you gnaw at your bottom lip until it swelled was stored into a deep, dark part of his mind for later. Ever still, he found it so amusing how oblivious you were— you should really scan your surroundings more.

Though, when he made it to your home— he found a deep frown tugging at him. Oh, this simply would not do. This was not the place to be for his princess, his darling girl— no, not at all.

This rundown complex was much too grimy for one as stunning as you, everything paled in comparison to you— of course it did, nothing mattered like you— but this was just.. sad, nobody as lovely as you deserved to be so impoverished. The dappled foundation, the assumed stench of cigarettes that must cling to the walls within— he had to get you out of there, and fast.

He almost considered marching in right then, ripping you from the safety of your supposed "home"— but he knew better of it. You needed to be won delicately, you were so sweet, but wracked with nerves like a stumbling fawn— one wrong move, a step too quick, and you'd bolt— he could smell fear, and you held it like a cross to bear. That didn't keep him from feeling angry, however.

He was going to pray, offer thanks, but not anymore. No gracious lord would allow such divinity to suffer like this— no self-proclaimed "God of Man" would allow their subject to wallow in such filth. His sweet girl, he was going to give you much more— so much more than this. He would do what God had failed to. He would help you to understand the divinity of man— and what he had to offer. Father was roiling in his grave at the sacrilege.

That was a nice piece to chew on as he walked back to his car— of course he parked elsewhere, home was much too far to walk from— stuck in a wish-washy daydream of you worshipping him, kneeled at his feet and devoted just as you should be. He'd make it better, he'd make it all better, you need only give him time.

— What are you doing tomorrow night, maus?

He texts, already churning with ideas. Most of them are to capture you, of course, but we've established this— we can't do this. However, he is on the more mundane side of things, wondering how he can somehow pay your rent for a few months— or atleast until he can coax you out of that fucking hellscape in the worst part of town. Regardless, totally normal, gentleman-like, things.

— I work a shift from 17:30-21:00 tmrw night :( but I'll be free after work!!

You're even cute with the way you text, so fitting of you— it makes him chuckle, especially with how quickly you'd replied. In his mind, you're hovering over the phone, jumping at every notification in hopes of it being him.

— No worries, little one, I'd like for you to get your rest. Maybe I could walk you home tomorrow, get to know each other?

He's as articulate as ever, feeling as if you'd appreciate his use of grammar and pronunciation— he hopes you read books, he'd buy you a million books, make you read to him while he bounced you on his knee— maybe you'd call him daddy, if he spoiled you enough. He had so many plans for you, it almost made his head hurt, though his cock absorbed most of his rushing blood.

— That would be lovely :)

It would be, wouldn't it? He'd already walked you home now, you just hadn't known it (you'd never know,) and he'd be able to spend tomorrow evening staring at you the whole time— hence why he memorized the path, and for.. other reasons; but those weren't currently relevant, now were they?

— Good. See you then, Engel.

He could see you now, punching these little nicknames into a poorly guided translator— the blush smattering across your soft little cheeks, your eyes creasing as you couldn't help that smile— God, even the small things about you made his palms itch. He was so excited to have you, hold you, touch and use you when he got close enough. It wouldn't be long now.

He was always so good at planning things.

-

The following evening was a rampage. A festival, perhaps, had ripped through the small town— something about music, either way, the streets were eruptive with fervor.

You, just starting out here, are not well accustomed to this area's cultures— and when the café becomes swamped? Well, you're definitely fritzing for some form of substance. Anything to keep a smile on your face while grown adults trash your place of work, and the surrounding area, in a drunken wake. For crying out loud, you barely knew the language here, and people tend to forget any English instruction they've had once a fiery drink hits their system.

Austria. It'd be the death of you.

Forced to close early due to the mess— much to the dismay of drunk, middle-aged men looking for something greasy to fill their maws— the last hour of your day was spent putting a rag to the wall, the floors, the windows; anything your mind could think of, it had to be cleaned. Tired was an understatement, and 'aching' could not be a severe enough adjective for the sensation settling in your joints.

Maybe if you were a more aggressive person, you'd take it out on your manager. Take a bottle of bleach and splash it in his eyes, maybe a bit of strangulation— that was always on the forefront of your concious— and especially now, as he stood outside and lackadaisically sweeped at the "dirty" corner the building sat on. The lazy fuck, can't even make a proper payroll— the bleach sounded a bit more enticing.

You of course shove these thoughts into the supply closet, along with all the other cleaning products that had been collected from their strewn about positions across the diner. It was almost time to go home, maybe ten minutes or so— and you were getting paid for your last hour, come hell or high water. Rent didn't pay itself, and you almost wish you hadn't treated yourself last night to delivery with that tip König slipped to you— could've been handy.

If only you knew how he was itching to have you practically keep his wallet, you'd find out soon anyways.

You stood behind the bar, leaned into it with a placid expression on your face— slumped and tired, and there was no taming your hair. You partially wanted to cancel the little walk you had so eagerly agreed too, but thought better of it— exhaustion ate at you, however, almost in an irritable sense. The urge to cancel just got stronger, and stronger.

Until he was spotted down the street, that almost completely soured your mood— had not the very sight of him set your pulse to palpitate uncomfortably quick. You took a minute to really observe him, at least from a far. He was giant, no doubt about it— regardless of your size or shape, he dwarfed you, and he didn't have to be up close and personal to tell.

His face was mostly obscured, little black mask hanging across his features— this time around though, no sunglasses to hide his eyes— you were fluttering with excitement at the thought of someone's eyes, Jesus, you're kinda weird. Desperate girl, aren't you?

Regardless, he seemed a bit more.. exposing of himself— and, he was here before the agreed time, like an actual fucking man would do.

Huh, maybe the big giant wasn't a bad choice.

Maybe you just didn't know him well enough.

— Schatz! Nice to see you..

He was warm, inviting. If you didn't have sense in your head, you'd climb into his strong-looking arms, beg him to carry you home like a whiny child— of course, you didn't. Only offering him a smile, and taking his arm as he offered it— the sight making your heart stir a little more.

— Nice to see you too, König. I hope it wasn't too much trouble getting here, I know it's a mess out here right now.

You laugh, but you feel almost guilty for making him come all this way. Yes, he offered, yes, he came here anyways— but Innsbruck during a music festival wasn't exactly.. controlled, and he didn't seem to be the type to like crowds. Something you understood, and sensed very quickly.

— Nonsense, even more of a reason for me to accompany you, little one. Keep you safe.

He gives your arm a squeeze with his free hand, it's soft, gentle— so unexpected from hands that looked as if they could rip your throat out. A frisson of heat creeped it's way up your spine. You'd never been the type to depend on someone, or need someone— but hearing him speak that way.. it was definitely flipping some form of switch inside you.

— You're very kind.

You hum in response, taking a step closer to him as you walked— and he kept his eyes on you the whole time, the route burned into his mind. Though, your phrase did not fall on deaf ears— and he had to keep himself from shoving his tongue down your throat right there— you cannot say things like that to him, you are too good and pure.

— To you, at the very least.

— Why's that?

— Why not?

Banter could be good for the soul, and you almost felt desperate when he looked down to you— eyes creasing from what could only be a smirk. You felt flustered under his gaze, small and compact, but.. safe. Watched over, and protected.

Something about his eyes, his demeanor— the way he so graciously walked you along and made sure you didn't step on a single crack or bump in the sidewalk— it tip, tip, tipped you over into a fuzzy headspace you hadn't felt before. Something small, something compact, something malleable.

— Dunno. Men aren't usually kind.

— Boys, then. You are much too beautiful to be handled by a boy.

You cocked a brow at his statement, an amused chuckle leaving your tired lips. He was a strange man, no doubt caring, but even you could tell he harbored things— kept himself from saying and doing things that might be taken incorrectly, or be downright abhorrent. You should be afraid of him, you should run for the hills and scream for help, you should sense the predator who already has his claws dug deep into your skin. 

But you don't, and you don't think you ever would.

Call it string theory, call it hope, call it desperation or an offered entrail— but you placed faith in him, praying that he wouldn't make decorations of your guts— because something more spoke to you, something outside of the two of you held you together steadfast. Mother had always told you to heed universal implications.

— Are you from around here, König?

— Nein, places like this..? eh, not my style. The mountains are much quieter, prettier.

Just how far had this guy traveled? Innsbruck had mountains, yeah, but it wasn't the most secluded of places— quiet didnt exist here. You had to gauge that maybe he blew in from Salzburg, it got less noisy and more rocky the further you went along the North chain. Either way, it was clear to you now that he wasn't just strolling about, he definitely had an agenda.

— Mm. Quite right, starting to regret settling down in such a busy area. I've always enjoyed the quiet.

— Agreed.. What brings you to Austria, Maus?

A good question, a fine one. You didn't know, you got a lump sum from a dead relative— and took off running. America never suited you, and the country was falling to ruins; what would you have stayed for?

— Something refreshing.

— ..And that is..?

— Sights, sounds, self-recognition- I'm unsure, but it's better than home.

He seemed to understand that, a knowing hum vibrating through the berth of his chest. He curled your arm closer to his body, your hip brushing against him as he took an even, slow pace— clearly difficult for him, but you could only move so fast.

The closeness felt nice in that moment, like it was unnecessary to share words— just enough had been said. It was a different sensation flowing through you. Yes, to be frank, you'd been lusting over him since he gave you his number— a little attention can go a long way— but it was different. That feeling of safety was blanketed with another— familiarity.

— Any family, libeling?

— Estranged, haven't spoken to them in years.

Another knowing hum, but it was followed by an amused sound— a chuckle. If the melancholy of the fact hadn't been refreshed, the sound would've made you pounce like a starved animal. He was attractive as all hell— and you didn't even need to see his full face.

— What's funny?

You try not to sound offended, you aren't, not really. Though, his amusement is of interest to you.

— Nothing, I assure you. It just seems that you and I are very similar. You are an interesting little thing.

— Ha! I'm as face value as they come, I promise you that.

— Don't be so humble, it's unnecessary for a lovely girl like you. I'll be the judge of that.

It was almost as if he was scolding you, but you brushed it off with an amused huff of air— leaning into his shoulder as he walked you along. You could stop his heart with such a thing, you saw him so much differently than others, didn't you? What a rare girl you were.

He wound an arm over your shoulder, pulling you into him. He was surprised by his own boldness, but the energy you held was so.. comforting, something in his core shook at the sensation— like a blockage finally being relieved. It could only get sweeter when you returned the gentle grasp, slipping an arm over his slender back.

— I.. this made my night better. Thank you.

You blushy little angel, of course, of course, anything for you. Oh, he needed to give you the world. He'd start a war for you— his very own Helen of Troy.

— Of course, sweet girl. Need to make sure you get home safe and happy, ja?

You laugh and squeeze his side, and he's pushing down another round of nasty thoughts like burning tequila. You have him chomping at the bit for every artifice of your affection.

— Such a gentleman..

— As I was raised to be, Schatz.

It burns him when he has to drop you off at that complex.. again. He wants nothing more than to take you home, invite you to a bed much-too-big, suffocate you in thread counts your wallet couldn't fathom— but it was much too soon, and you were much too angelic for him to ever want to spook you.

It burns you in turn, looking up at him with a shy smile. You want to invite him in, have him over for the night— but it seems you both agree on the terms of "much too soon", and you can't help but feel insecure at the.. state.. of your livingspace. It's nothing lavish, and it's moorish— maybe some other time.

— We should do this again.. I enjoyed this.

— I agree, liebling. Let me know when you work next, hm? Or maybe when you're free, I'll come visit you.

He made you feel as blushy as a school-girl, like you were a gift wrapped in fine bows just for him.

— I'll send you my schedule.

— Guten Mädchen.. I'll see you later then.

And, as if the gods had their hands on your shoulders, he leaned in— pulling his mask down just enough to kiss the top of your head before swiftly moving it back into place, and giving your cheek a quick brush with his thumb. Your skin was on fire, that cheek was never getting washed again.

Good fucking God, coming undone at the smallest touch, are we?

— Goodnight-! Get home safe..

He was already halfway down the block, damn, he's fast.

You're already getting obsessed, damn, he's good.

[corpsebasil]

How do you think knight!nikolai would deal with someone flirting with reader? Bcs like I think he'd want to be very possessive but at the same time he doesn't want to cause rumors that will ruin you so he ends up just being a fuming mess in the background and probably make an excuse for you or the guy to leave

On the reader's end though it would be hard to do anything at all if someone flirts with nikolai though because there's literally no reason to care that much about his love life unless you're jealous

gnawing at the bars.

this would most likely happen before you got together (in secret, duh) because now that he knows you’re his there’s no reason for jealously on either of your parts.

but.

lets say a prince from another kingdom was visiting in hopes of winning you over. you were the future queen, obviously, so you’d need a king consort. and this prince is actually super good looking, even if you’ve had your eye on your guard for a little over a year now. but that was impossible and you knew Sir Nikolai would never he would go for you or break his oath so you gave the prince a shot.

and you actually got along with him! not romantically of course—too soon—but he was funny. and kind. and those two facts are what royally pissed Nikolai off the most. because the prince was kind of HARD to hate.

unfortunately in forbidden love, sometimes both options are good options. Not every guy that isn’t the main love interest is the devil.

so he’d simply fume in the background of your little dates, your strolls and trips to town, your dinners and even—ONE TIME—during the moment the prince casually reached out to tuck a strand of hand behind your ear.

OOOOOOOH. Nikolai was so mad he wanted to chop that guy’s hand off and feed it to the wolves and then dismember him and then have him drawn and quartered and then put oil and feathers on him and dump him in the river politely ask him not to touch his princess without her permission.

It didn’t work out with the prince. For reasons you still don’t know to this day he’d left abruptly one morning after an extremely rushed and awkward goodbye.

cough. sir nikolai’s fault. his fault.

you on the other hand also couldn’t do anything about jealousy. because the closer your guard and you grew, the more you wANTED him. And there was absolutely nothing to be done about it.

You were a bit more direct about your feelings, though.

you found yourself making snide comments about girls that openly flirted in front of you. you had once, when a maid stopped him in the hall to ask him something, been enraged when she placed a hand on his bicep. why do you need to touch him??? cant you see he’s uncomfortable???

he’d given you a quick glance, his typically stoic and blank expression suddenly pinching with slight confusion, and you schooled your features into neutrality. you realized you’d been openly glaring and if looks could kill, well.

“Miss.” You said sweetly, and she looked at you in surprise. you typically didn’t speak to the maids unless you needed something. “Please do me the favor of unhanding Sir Nikolai. Don’t you know it is improper to grope a knight?”

the maid’s face had gone red so quickly you would’ve thought you’d called her a thousand foul words, but maybe those were all written in your face. she mumbled a mortified apology and scurried off. when you crossed your arms, watching her go with an annoyed look, you heard a subtle cough. when you looked at Sir Nikolai he was smirking, but only a bit. his eyes though—filled with amusement.

“What?” You snapped, still annoyed, and he outright grinned. Your heart skipped a beat at that—gods he was gorgeous when he smiled fully at you.

“You’re—” he shook his head. the word he was thinking of was adorable. “—quite spirited this morning.”

“I am not.”

“She was hardly groping me.”

“I am the princess! If I say she was groping you then she was!”

“How kind of you—“

“Hold your tongue, Sir. I can have you punished for getting attitude with me.” You huffed and actually almost stamped your slippered foot.

but he still kept a smile on his face, amused with you, and you couldn’t fight the blush that rose when his eyes lingered. he didn’t say anything else—he didn’t need to.

you knew that he knew you were jealous.

[queenjunothegreat]

I have so many MOA scene rewrite suggestions (you obviously do not have to write all of these, but you asked for suggestions so!! also sorry for this being so long)

- (this is a big sad one) Jason reuniting with camp Juptier and realizing he wasn’t very missed and was basically replaced + Leo getting possessed and firing on Camp Jupiter (I can’t remember if this was Leo’s thought process in the books, but Leo would definitely think he was a curse for Jason or something. Like first he ruined things with Thalia and now this)

- I would love to see a one-shot of Leo and Hazel’s relationship being fixed. Cause I hate the fact that Hazel had to deal with two guys crushing on her after being traumatically revived into a new time period. This could also function as a Valgrace/Lost trio fic cause Jason and Piper would definitely get jealous of Leo being constantly stolen away to go on missions without them.

- Jason’s birthday picnic with Piper

- this last one isn’t MOA related but I want to include anyways cause it’s a special headcannon to me. I 100% believe that Annabeth pestered the shit out of Leo when he was building the Argo II. Not in a mean way!!! But, she would definitely immediately try to help Leo in making the ship cause she loves designing things and she wants to see her boyfriend. I feel like she horrible at assuming/accepting that people wouldn’t want her help. Therefore, she keeps pestering Leo on ship progress and ideas. And Leo being the solo worker he is, just doesn’t know how to work with someone else. It could function great as a 5+1 fic like - “Five times Annabeth tries to help Leo, + the one time Annabeth succeeds in helping.” Basically, I just need someone to write a fic about their friendship. As well as Leo accepting he doesn’t need to do everything alone and he can ask for help.

Never apologize for longwindedness to me. I am King President of Yappingtonshireville and I ALWAYS encourage everyone to run their mouths. In fact, I am THANKING you for all these wonderful ideas 😌

First and foremost, um???? Butting heads to work besties Annabeth and Leo??? Hello??? Sign me the FUCK up!! There's not NEARLY enough fics featuring these two and that needs to change ASAP! It will also be a really good chance for me to work on my Annabeth voice for the HoH rewrite. Her being so eager and willing to help to the point where it would be off putting to anyone much less someone like Leo while also not even recognizing it is SUCH an Annabeth thing oh my god. My darling girl mwah mwah mwah.

Also! Yes! Hazel! She deserved so much better than being forced into a weird bad love triangle that didn't do literally anything for the story. Leo will have absolutely ZERO romantic feelings for the traumatized 13 year old, bur he will absolutely flirt with her when Frank is around just to mess with him. I am REALLY fond of the odea of them becoming friends (and Hazel being like "Frank, why are you being mean to Leo? 🥺 He's my friend" and Frank folding like a house of cards) and I'm beyond delighted with the idea of Jason and Piper having a mutual pouting session about Leo hanging out with Frank and Hazel more. That in particular could fold really nicely into the Jason’s birthday picnic thing!

Ooooh, I am gnawing on this Jason getting to CJ concept. I was planning on writing it from (SURPRISE!) Reyna’s POV, but I think it would be sososo good to then swap POV halfway through and have them mirror each other's thoughts without even realizing it. I am actually in the middle of writing a fic that is immediately post everyone getting back on the ship after firing on New Rome, so I will for SURE be yoinking those "Leo feels like a curse" thoughts to put in there because it is SO good.

[bluecatwriter]

How Good And Thoughtful

Ah, thank you for requesting this one, anon! I'm very fond of it.

"How Good and Thoughtful": "Earlier today, Jack Seward had to help kill Lucy's vampire, and now he's in the company of Mina Harker, working together to transcribe and assemble their diaries. He never expected to feel this close to someone he just met, and he's not quite sure how to handle his strong affection for his new friend."

-I put the quote from the book that inspired me at the beginning of the fic, with Mina narrating how Jack helped her get a typewriter set up so she could transcribe his diary. "How good and thoughtful he is; the world seems full of good men— even if there are monsters in it."

-Also I wanted to write this because Mina and Jack have, like, the best meeting of the whole book. They're in a romance novel except Mina's already in love with someone else. They meet at the train station, make extremely awkward small talk, Jack starts blushing furiously, he determines that he needs to keep information from her but five minutes later hands over his entire wax cylinder collection and then they read each other's diaries. I am obsessed with them!

-I'm also always gnawing away on the whole set-up of Jack and Mina spending the evening together alone in his study: Jonathan is halfway across the country tracking down boxes, and meanwhile Mina is having a sleepover with a handsome, well-bred young man whom Lucy thought she might be into— and no one, either in the story or in the way the narrative is presented, bats an eye! As someone who was raised in a very conservative environment where we were taught, explicitly or implicitly, "It is morally wrong for a woman to be alone with a man unless they're married— and this is the way it's always been!", this makes me unreasonably happy. 

-The first part of the fic is mostly logistics, putting dialogue to the summarized part of the book. I wanted to show that Jack is mostly in business mode here, trying to be helpful in any way he can.

-The canon image of Jack sitting with a book while she transcribed so she wouldn't be alone is very sweet to me, so I put it in the fic, too. Meanwhile, Jack, who is bone-tired under the best circumstances but also has been getting even less sleep (and more Horrors) than usual, begins to fantasize a bit about having Mina as a wife. As with Jack's attraction to Lucy, I think you can read his obvious rapport with Mina as being any sort of attraction— sexual, romantic, platonic— although in this fic, them getting along gets mentally slotted into the literally only category he has for a close female relationship, which is "wife."

-I wanted to make it clear that Jack is not being a creeper here, but is channeling his longing for companionship into the want for a wife (and trying very hard not to think too much about it).

-Of course Jack knows Mina is already married, and he's very excited to meet her (surely hunky) husband! I had fun imagining what kind of "strong young manhood" Jack might construct after reading Jonathan's diary. Anyone with such an iron nerve must be the kind of guy who could throw him against a wall, right…?

-Mina having to stop and stretch her hands after typing is my concern for her ligaments during all this typing she does during the novel (and shows up in some other fics, too). My girl is gonna get carpal tunnel if she doesn't stretch!

-I knew I wanted to have them touch in this scene, and figured that him rushing to help with a medical need (proper stretching technique for her hands) would be a good way to do that. I come from a family where we often give each other backrubs or foot-rubs or hand-rubs, so I have familial associations with it, but I liked that it could also be a little charged here just because massaging someone else's hands can feel pretty intimate.

-I diverged a bit from canon by having them stay up together reading through the newspapers; if I remember correctly, Mina does it by herself in the book. I liked how domestic the image was of them poring over newspapers together and reading each other snippets (sort of like how my spouse and I will scroll through our phones side by side, pausing only to show each other memes).

-Since the book has a theme of people falling asleep, I decided to have Mina doze off here (couldn't be me— I cannot sleep in a chair), which of course makes Jack feel a whole lot of other things. He's doing his best not to pine, but man.

-When he wakes Mina up and she says she's going to bed, I was very seriously tempted to veer from my original idea and let them just make out. But I decided to keep my original plan for a couple reasons: even if Mina said it was okay with Jonathan, it didn't feel believable to me for Mina and Jonathan to have discussed polyamory at this point so early in their marriage; it would've made the thing feel more like an AU rather than my vaguely-canon writings that I've compiled. Plus, I wanted the focus to be on their connection, not have the scene just be a jumping-off point for a romance (even though I might write something like the latter at some point). So I reined Jack in and kept going from there.

-I like the little conversation that Mina and Jack have here— it's so earnest and open. I was trying to convey the feeling when you meet someone and you just click and it feels like you've been friends all your life.

-I settled on Jack giving her a cheek kiss, which is still a very bold move for him but more restrained than a dubious makeout session. And then of course he feels terrible for it… but Mina understands and gives him a kiss back. One kiss is enough to make Jack crumple like a cheap paper napkin, so it's probably good I was restrained, anyway. ;) His immediate desire to "fall at her feet and sob into the folds of her skirt" was inspired by Jonathan doing just that later on in the story.

-I figured after all that, Jack needed Floor Time; I just see him as a guy who lies down a lot when he's trying to process things. (In the play I'm working on, his first entry is narrating while he's lying on his back on the floor.)

-A huge number of my fics end with the viewpoint character getting a good night's sleep. This is because 1) sleep is a big running theme in Dracula, and, more importantly, 2) I love sleeping and I want everyone else to get a good night's sleep, too. ;)

Thanks again for the ask!

(Ask game here)

[iguessitsjustme]

Love Sea Episode 9 Thoughts

I can hear you. What happened to episode 8 liveblog? Did you not liveblog it? I can hear the questions. Here’s the thing. I didn’t watch episode 8. I’m testing a theory that I actually don’t need to watch episode 8. To be clear, I know roughly two things that happened (Mut talking to Rak’s dad and the girls kissing because Mook is helping Vi rehearse lines) but that’s all I know. And if that’s all I know, I should still be missing things from an hour long episode. I don’t think I will be. So I’m testing my theory that I can just skip the episode and still be able to follow along with the story. If I can, it will prove my point about this show’s lazy writing. Anyway, I just finished eating my coco puffs (dinner of champions) and I am ready to watch. Under the cut as always:

The previously on is telling me some things too. Not a whole lot though. This episode should still make no sense to me after skipping an episode.

She is a child. She should not be the one deciding on whether or not her guardians are told something regarding her own safety and also their safety. 

Mut protecting Meena and telling her to get behind him is good. Not telling her to call the police while she is literally holding her phone is bad. Just a quick whispered “call the police” should have happened.

Dear GOD what song is that car even listening to? Stop being noisy and go away I am TRYING to watch!

Okay I appreciate a good fight scene as much, if not more, than the next person, but I cannot figure out where Mut would have learned these fighting skills? Like don’t get me wrong, watching him wail on these two dudes is very entertaining to me but it also doesn’t make sense. What reason would he have had to learn this on the island?

*drinks choccy milk* *gnaws on pickle*

When did his face get hit to be bleeding?

Oh no. Oh dear. I cannot believe this. You have to *gasp* tell the…truth? Only the worst people in the entire world EVER tell the truth. What will become of you? Rak finding out even if you lie…boy what is wrong with Rak finding out something that could POTENTIALLY BE DANGEROUS TO HIM AND HIS LOVED ONES. I cannot do this. I should not be watching this on a school night. Cause I need alcohol. What the fuck is this.

Oh really. I forgot about this show’s desire to use flashbacks all the time. I really don’t need episode 8 because I’ll just get a flashback when needed. God this writing is so…maybe I’ll break my rules and drink alcohol anyways. I think I might have some soju buried in my fridge somewhere….

Oh that wasn’t a flashback? But it was in the previously on?

Oh it was. It was both a flashback and not a flashback. That makes sense. In some world I’m sure.

It is very satisfying to watch Mook push Vi out of Rak’s apartment actually.

I basically just spend this whole show feeling bad for Mook and…no one else.

His dad. No?

I drank all my choccy milk :(

Peat is too good of an actor for MAME. The way he makes Rak so small when facing his dad is so impressive.

As it turns out, blasting Stray Kids does, sometimes, make my neighbors stop having their conversations RIGHT OUTSIDE my door. Like guys. Go talk outside your own door.

God this camera work is making me motion sick. I hate it when they do this. I get it sometimes. I understand the reason it can be good. I don’t think it is necessary here and it just makes this scene that much harder for me to watch.

And this show has done this a lot. I need more stable shots. If most of the show is shot like this, it removes so much of the impact for scenes when it could be very good. And I get maybe wanting to do an inverse where the stable shots are the ones with the emotional impact, but to be clear, that is not what this show is doing. None of the scenes are landing the way they should be landing and the way they are intended to. They are overusing things in this show that should be saved for specific moments. Nothing feels fully thought out in this show. Everything feels like half an idea that was put together at the last minute because they ran out of time. And unless I’m wrong, that’s not the case for this show. They had the time and they just failed to utilize it. This feels like they started creating the show before any plan was created and in place on how to actually do that.

I must admit, watching Mut punch Rak’s dad was satisfying. Especially considering I was pretty much chanting “just deck ‘im." He didn’t punch him nearly enough before getting pulled off of him. Also that was such a poorly directed fight. What was that? Mut basically just laid on top of Rak’s dad with his fist raised and he didn’t punch him again? I would understand if it looked like Rak’s dad put up any sort of fight but it didn’t look like he was really struggling that hard. God Mut should have been feral. Where was that?

I hate that I actually really like the line “You’re the one that took off my collar. Are you prepared to face me?” I really wish it was in a better show. Because up until now, we have had no reason to believe Mut was in any way shape or form dangerous or violent. He was even better than all of MAME’s other semes by actually having Rak’s consent before sleeping with him. So why should I believe he is able to do anything to Rak’s dad other than the show has decided that he can with no contextual support. But god, if Mut had the backup of the previous episodes (and maybe something was explained in episode 8 that I missed but most likely not), this line would being doing things to me because there’s something about a character that’s been kept on a leash, finally being let off the leash to wreak havoc that is just catnip to me.

Having Mut come in and solve everything. Every family problem and miscommunication in 30 seconds (part of it happening off-screen) is so annoying. What is the meaning of the resolution if only one character had to do minimal work for it and it wasn’t the character most affected. Having Mut stand up to Rak’s dad in place of Rak instead of simply supporting him. Showing up and telling him what he learned to give Rak the opportunity to cut those ties himself. To speak up first. It’s just…that whole scene should have been about Rak but instead it was about Mut solving Rak’s problems. It made the drama boring and took away the importance of the moment. It took away from both characters’ development and growth. Mut is a boring character because he is perfect. And even when he does wrong, he actually doesn’t do any wrong. Rak trying to call things off and Mut refusing and immediately fixing the situation was too perfect and that makes a story boring. I don’t want the drama in a show to be boring. I want it to make sense but most importantly, I want it to be entertaining. And if a character is so perfect that they’re able to literally stop the drama during the big climactic confrontation, then the part of the show that should be the most entertaining is now incredibly boring.

This is an insane line to include in a show that half-assed so much of its production I am actually losing my mind. Not a single person involved in this show put their all into it. Actually I take that back. The actors did. But not a single other soul involved in this show. No one behind the scenes gave more than one singular shit if they even gave that. Absolutely insane. What a line. This is just so fucking weird to include in this show. It is so lackluster I skipped an entire episode and missed nothing.

The preview for next week and the tiny drama they’re gonna have means nothing to me after what they just went through. Like seriously? That’s going to be their next issue? After all of that? MAME does this sometimes when she puts the drama out of order so it doesn’t make sense and makes it feels like the characters are actually regressing or like the major conflict never happened in the first place let alone have a resolution *stares daggers at Don’t Say No*

Anyway my experiment is complete. As it turns out, watching episode 8 is not needed. Just having minimal knowledge of what happened is fine and you don’t miss anything. Except possible exposition to explain Mut’s random fighting skills that don’t make sense. But to be clear, if that happened in episode 8, it also is too late for it to work with the context of the story. Just throwing it in at the last second to explain something doesn’t work because it wasn’t given proper thought. Whatever. Only one more week of this and maybe next time I’ll get drunk first. At least maybe then I’ll be entertained.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

oh my godddd dude holy shit fuck okay taking a break from worm reading to send u an ask about william wight because goddamn i need 2 talk abt him. hello!!!!!!! feeling SO unwell about the clarences cape but red thing. awesome.

OKAY U HAVE LIKE. THE MOST PERFECT TIMING IN THE WORLDDD because literally on . tuesday this week my freak week art got a random note out of nowhere and made me start thinking about the villains again and thinking about william wight specifically because i love him a lot. ok. so its always ALWAYS been my assumption that. this is the version of william who mal got his greasy little claws in.

william fell off the cliff and died. the wisps chose him, and he came back. mal, who has been obsessively watching the wisps since clarence's death, sensed them choosing the next whisperer and swooped in before william could even stand back up. hes disoriented, hes scared, everything hurts, hes at a bottom of a cliff and he honestly doesnt even know if hes alive or not anymore, and this stranger walks out of the forest and offers a chance to explain everything. wiwi mystery brain! he knows this is weird but he also knows like.... i dont know whats happening maybe i AM dead and this is just... waht the afterlife is like. so he goes with mal. william wisp the 16 yr old from deadwood is. well. dead. he went missing, nobody ever found his body, his family mourned him.

meanwhile the whole time mallard conway was taking william wight under his wing and training him to be a replacement. mal calls him whisperer, william is in his rebellious teen phase and wants to be called something cooler which is why he named himself Wight (a type of vengeful spirit. specifically one who was once alive and then was brought back from the dead. lol) william is still! technically half alive. so being in the spirit world for extended amounts of time (which is NOT something mortals are supposed to do, planeswalker or not,) kind of broke his brain a little bit? which is why Wight is LIke That.

williams whole thing when he was alive was solving mysteries and chasing down monsters, so that became (and forgive my use of dp fanon here, i have to) his Obsession. (obsession with a capital O because its.. ghost logic. whatever a ghost died doing becomes their core motivation in the afterlife etc etc dp fanon not sorryyyyy) so he has this. uncanny obsession for tracking down monsters when hes out of the spirit world. being separated from the spirit world for any amount of time kind of drives him nuts, hes so used to being around the dead that being around the living for extended periods of time is unsettling. hes super paranoid. he inherits mal's need for total control over a situation, which is why hes so lax about possessing people with the wisps to get them to do what he wants.

perfect that his best friend turns out to be the absolutely diehard loyal guard dog. (side note here i think he also has williams super high pain tolerance from dead nerves so he lets kota gnaw on his arms and shit) . virion is a mystery to him and he LOVES it, he cant figure this guy out, hes like an endlessly fascinating puzzle to crack open. studying him like a lab rat on a dissection table.

i think about him a normal amount. as you can tell.

Mac i am TOO FUCKING DRUNK to peroperly respond to this but oh my god. oh my godddd yehah. the obsession thing???????? Hello??????? putting that in my pocket!!!!!! ohhgh he’s paranoid being around living people he’s a control freak he’s sooo fucjed up <33333333 he absolutely lets kota chew on him like a chew toy <3 and he can’t get a proper read on virion so he’s obsessed w trying to peel back his layers and learn as much as he can!!! throwing ashe into the mix is like. doubly fascinating for him. bc i think villain ashe would b secretive enough about his civilian identity to intrigue william(<<wants to disguise that he could possibly have any connection to wavelength the hero) and wiwi is INVESTED in trying to figure out him and virion!! what r their secrets!!! he NEDSS TO KNOW!!!!!!! to me his vibes r kinda like the weylin twins. u feel me

[miracleonice87]

Matthew Tkachuk and his partner as the perfect couple and babysitters 🙈🙈 like maybe they have slightly older friends or the older couples on the team just know they'd be the perfect parents together but they're not ready so they do a lot of babysitting and are both great with kids!

(okay I honestly know nothing about anyone else on the Panthers roster except the Staal brothers, which.. 😬🫠🥴 no thank u.. so pardon my inclusion of Johnny Hockey and Keith “Ironman / SONK” Yandle instead 😇)

also, cw: slight breeding kink simply bc of who I am as a person

I feel like the switch would’ve flipped for Matthew when they were still back in Calgary and Meredith Gaudreau got pregnant. he watched you stroll through Target picking out clothes, toy, and other gifts for their baby, calling out to him in the aisles and holding them up with the sweetest, softest, frowny look on your face as he chuckled and shook his head. he watched you plan her baby shower and decorate your house in a neutral-toned Noah’s Ark (get it?) theme, watched you dote on her when she arrived and made sure she was comfortable, fed, hydrated. he watched you touch her growing belly (with permission, of course) with the gentlest of hands and “ooh” and “ahh” over the baby kicks you felt from the inside out.

and all the while he was trying to hide the fact that there was a weird, new gnawing in his gut that he just couldn’t ignore.

then, obviously, the deals happened, and both you and the Gaudreaus went your separate ways physically. that provided a welcome distraction from the baby fever for Matthew…

at least for a while. then, baby Gaudreau was born, and you were constantly showing Matthew photos and FaceTime screenshots of the tiniest, sweetest, softest, snuggliest, loviest little girl and fuckkkk that gnawing feeling was back. one day, when you had settled in Sunrise and he was on the golf course with old Tkachuk family friend Keith Yandle, you texted him a screenshot of you making a kissy face at Noa and her grinning back at you on the screen, and he literally groaned. Keith was driving the golf cart and glanced down to figure out the culprit. it took one look at Matthew’s phone to figure it out.

“uh oh… I thought she might’ve sent you a sexy pic but that’s even worse,” he said with a knowing chuckle. “you got it bad, huh?”

Matthew nodded. “and it’s only gotten worse. we have so much time, and we’re not even married yet, but… I dunno man, something about it…”

Keith nodded, too. “I get it. it’s tempting. birth control no longer needed, they’re lookin’ all hot when they’re pregnant, you get a cute little smushy baby. but it’s a lifelong commitment, man.”

Matthew sighs. he knows.

“tell ya what,” Keith suggests. “I got some kids you can babysit. how about you guys come over tonight and you start there?”

Matthew’s heart leaps at the idea, and he texts you to confirm before he enthusiastically agrees.

and in his head, babysitting was supposed to soothe the sting, to pacify (for lack of a better term) the need he couldn’t seem to escape. but watching you do cartwheels across the backyard with Lola and Mila, French braid their hair, film TikTok dances with them, and read them a few chapters of Harry Potter before they fell asleep… melted him. Matthew honestly couldn’t take it anymore.

as soon as you closed the door to the girls’ room after tucking them in for the night, Matthew wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and pulled you flush against his torso, kissing at your neck and jaw, making you giggle at the unexpected embrace. you were about to ask what he was up to when you heard his voice, soft but gravelly in your ear…

“I love watching you with kids. lemme put a baby in you.”

you stopped in your tracks and suddenly, nothing was funny anymore. you turned to face him and could tell that he was absolutely, deathly serious. and Matthew didn’t know exactly how you’d respond to that, but he definitely couldn’t have anticipated the next word out of your mouth to be…

“okay.”

you watched his blue eyes light up like fireworks and relaxed into him as he kissed you fiercely. suddenly you found you were walking backwards, being angled into the nearby guest bedroom where you’d be staying the night so that Keith and Kristyn could stay out late. as he swung the door shut with one foot, lips still covering yours, you realized…

“mm.. mm-mm, mm-mm, no, Matty. you’re not getting me pregnant in Keith’s guest room…”

😉