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#you dont want to tell us our work is shit until the grades are coming out?? and ur shocked when you havent taught anyone anything?? be so fr
ragnars-tooth · 2 months
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I should not have been taught so badly for 3 years that i genuinely have to google how to find job postings in my field. "Get a degree!! Get a degree!!" for why. To be laughed at by out of touch tutors and not taught anything? It's certainly not going to help me get a job because i CANT FIND THEM. "People will see you went here and that will give you credibility." Will it roderick. Because I now know not to trust a motherfucker who went here 💀
#rangnar rambles#taught by people who have not ever had to get into the industry in this state. dont know how to use computers. and (i cannot stress this#enough) DID NOT TEACH ME ANYTHING#I GET MY 27K PIECE OF PAPER IN 2 WEEKS AND YOU CANT TAKE IT FROM ME. SO CAN I GET SOME CONTACTS OR SM#but no yeah im so normal and glad i spent my time like this#WHAT DID I SPEND THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE DOING#if youre going to study illustration in the uk just go to falmouth. i dont go there but anywheres better than here#if [REDACTED] has no haters i am dead and have been ejected from the universe#if i could go back in time id do maths at a level and become a fucking accountant jesus christ#i had a tutor last year who used to do coke and got paid 15k to sit in front of a camera doing nothing by a mate in LA#the same guy our year got fired for being incompetent and aggressive when you asked for help (like. his fucking job)#AND HIS GIRLFRIEND. who was also a tutor and MORE INCOMPETENT#i had one tutor the whole course who had my back i love you jeremy i hope you finally get to retire and stop having to run FOUR COURSES#only man who actually had us do drawing exercises and taught us (in SECOND YEAR) how to draw perspective#so many people got to final semester and suddenly got failed bc tutors were lying to our faces about the quality of our work and not giving#accurate crit. how humiliating is that for everyone involved??#you dont want to tell us our work is shit until the grades are coming out?? and ur shocked when you havent taught anyone anything?? be so fr#it was like they were always shocked that we wanted direction and advice and our feedback was always met with 'well in the 80s there was a#big push for thia kind of open loosey goosey art course' its not the 80s anymore and students have been complainging for a decade#management would 'take on board' criticism and then bank on us all being gone in 3 years so they wouldnt have to actually do anything#all while taking our money and shutting down the entire humanities section of the uni#*actively wating wires* anyway no yeah im soo glad i spent my time like this at least i got a girlfriend i GUESS
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unusual · 1 month
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idek how much i’ve talked about this entire situation on here but i need to get this off my chest and maybe even get some advice…? ty if you end up reading this i really genuinely appreciate it
tldr im estranged from my adoptive mother because she doesnt respect me at all/never considers me part of the family and is extremely on and off with her affections depending on how successful or impressive i am to her (in the sense that when it comes to things like getting good grades or going into remission or getting into college shes “happy” for me because she thinks my success is a reflection of her own ability to parent me and “turn me into a winner” while completely turning on me when im doing poorly or need help and calling me a manipulative demon etc lol)
shes financially abusing me and my dad right now and has been for about 3 years because she hasnt worked a day in her life and my dad for a few years was having success at his job so when she divorced him she took all of our money from us and said she needed more for reasons that were not real (like she asked for 50k to pay for my college and then refused to actually do it so we had to take out a loan etc) its to the point where she makes more money than my dad does working basically 24/7 on call just because we have to pay her so much every month, it was really painful and stressful trying to put me into school because we actually don’t have a place to live rn and cant afford to get one because of her strange actions
about five months ago my dad literally begged her to let me stay with her for all of july because he wanted to make sure i had a place to sleep and he was traveling on business for all of that month, and after a lot of convincing (literally until like the day before i was supposed to go) she said yes and then started ignoring me and refusing to feed me after like four days because i asked her for help with the financial aid stuff.. so we had to reorganize all our plans and stuff like are you noticing a pattern where everything she does is entirely self serving and always ends up inconveniencing us majorly to the point where our livelihoods are at stake. anyway she did that like just over a month ago (july 5 was when my dad was like this is isnane im just going to pick you up and we’ll figure something out) and locked herself in her room like a baby and texted my dad all these things about how i was evil (verbatim) and a mistake and deserved to die from cancer and shit like that BECAUSE I ASKED HER FOR HELP WITH STUFF AHE SAID SHE’D HELP WITH… and now (like as of a few days ago) shes doing this thing where shes texting me cat memes and sending my little brother (who lives with her and who i really care about) to tell me to call her because she wants to hear from me etc and i genuinely am kind of at a point where i don’t ever want to talk to her again under any circumstances because of everythign she’s done to hurt me and my dad (including like 98% that i didn’t even mention here) but i feel semi obligated to because im lonely and shes kind of really good at making me feel guilty… my dad said dont even worry about it because im supposed to be locking in this semester and focusing on my own success and he thinks shes going to drag me down like she always does but idk what to do in this situation
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Remember how I was talking about a ybc sitcom. Well I did a thing
Yuri: we should abandon the current US government ranking system in warrior cats don’t question me.
Fujisaki: just saying that Obamastar is way cooler than trumpstar. Also what the hell are kits then?
yuri: babies, duh.
toono: are you telling me kids are going to be apprentices for like 12 fucking years,,,,, that’s 24 times as long….
yuri: yes. 12 years. 1st grade to 12th grade, American education system. I’ve thought this through.
Shikatani: and what the heck is a medicine cat?
yuri: you guys really aren’t thinking this through huh it’s a fucking doctor you degenerate
Toono: wait, what are cats then????
yuri: ….they’re still cats what the fuck are you on.
kashima: do we actually hunt for food or do we go grocery shopping and call it hunting?
yuri: I said ranking not their lifestyle guys I’m going to fucking lose it.
Akemi: the fuck is a warrior cat????
yuri: somebody is going to die today and it’s sure as fuck is not going to be me!
Itome: would the time zones become clans or is it just randomly assigned?
Yuri: it’s the ranking system. The leader is the president. It’s one clan. We’re one clan cant you fucking hear I’m this close to bursting into tears.
Shikatani: ok but what about other countries? Would there be Americaclan and canadaclan and stuff?
Yuri: i Said US government system. You heard that, right? You listened to me say it? The US? Just America??
akemi: wait does that mean the president rules until someone else comes along and wrecks their shit?
yuri: I mean, yeah. Until that motherfucker dies he’s leader. That’s how wc works. Kill your leader, start a riot and shut the fuck up im so stressed.
kashima: I, for one, do not think trump should get nine lives.
yuri: well neither should tigerstar, but here we are
Fujisaki: isn’t this just a monarchy? Or dictatorship?
yuri: it’s the warrior cats ranking system thats what it is.
Toono, muttering: what are deputy’s then.
yuri: don’t try and hide that stupid fucking question from me! What do you think vice presidents are??
Itome: what would twolegs be considered?
yuri: this is just like the what would cats be question. We wouldn’t fucking use that term.
Shikatani: probably a dumb question but what would rouges and loners be.
yuri: rouges aren’t even part of the clan ranking system I don’t think I can take this much longer.
kashima: what about other government officials? Would they be warriors? Or would they just not exist l?
yuri: THEYRE WARRIORS. THEY DONT EXIST. I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE
Itome: wait, why the fuck is yuri talking about warrior cats?
Yuri:
yuri: I-
akemi: you managed to drive a prostitute insane! Congratulations!
yuri: did you just call me a fucking prostitute?
Tamura: of course yuri wants our society to be a furry tyrant. Are you fucking kidding me yuri? Ya let's have our leaders fight to get on top, that would create so much chaos and distrust because you never know who wants to rise up; you would never get anything done because you're constantly watching your back. Not even to mention of course the strongest cats would always win, that's like saying the politician with the most money should be able to buy themselves the position. Your I suggestion is stupid op not only because you brought up warrior cats but also you thought a fucking YA novel is a good baseis for gouvernement.
yuri: this is the funniest thing anyone could have added. I’ve never been more amused in my life…. Do you know how warrior cats works? Do you really just think they’re fighting for leadership? Your so angry about this silly little thought I had.
Yaguchi, walking into the room: okay what the FUCK is going on???
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cainightfics · 2 years
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hello! i think i remember you saying you have a degree in english (if i hallucinated this, please feel free to disregard this ask). this is probably a very silly question, but do you find what you learned from your degree to be helpful when writing fics? or is it mostly not applicable to what you write? anyway, i hope you're doing well! i really like your mr robot works! :)
yeah i do have an english degree!! wow i cant believe u remember that lol. to be honest im lazy as hell and really slacked off throughout my degree... like i read maybe half of the stuff i was assigned lmfao 💀 despite this i managed to get really good grades, graduate with honours, get into a top grad school etc. i was always wayyyy more interested in theory than in literature itself. honestly i think a lot of the "greatest books of all time" people usually mention are either straight up trash or at least overrated as hell. i didnt really learn much from them writing-wise.
the big thing that got me into writing was roleplaying, actually. i used to be in the homestuck fandom (lol) and i was on either msparp or cherubplay every fucking day from ages 13-16. i was addicted to roleplaying lol, i probably wrote like 3-5k words everyday back then. i started writing fanfic but not publishing it around that time as well, and then wrote my first berserk fics around 16-17, which is how i got started on ao3.
in middle school/most of high school, me and my best friend were NOTORIOUSLY the most lazy people in our grade. like she literally pretended to have a learning disability throughout all of elementary school because she didnt want to do any work lol. anyways, in high school, i would literally arrive at school, sleep through my first class, skip the rest of my classes until lunch by either hiding in the library reading fanfic/manga or (if it was warm enough) SLEEPING OUTSIDE ON THE FIELD LMFAOOO, go to lunch, go to my english class in the afternoon (only class i liked), and then spend the rest of the afternoon at starbucks on my laptop roleplaying. i think i had like 90 absences in my first semester of grade 9 lol. i really didnt take school seriously because i knew i could just study for 30 mins before a test and get an A, so my grades were always high anyway-- and then i let my friend (the aforementioned extremely lazy one) copy off me so she didnt flunk out of school.
anyway, in grade 10 the teachers started to get sick of my shit. by this point i was pretty brazen about how much i didnt give a shit about school-- i would bring a blanket to school to nap with, showed up to class drunk, sold cigarettes to people in the parking lot, all sorts of shit. one day i was sleeping in the library and i woke up to the principal standing over me telling me he needed to see me in his office. they basically gave me an ultimatum: either i got my shit together and started putting in effort, or they'd have to start giving me suspensions until i was eventually expelled. i really considered dropping out of highschool at this point. instead, i did all my remaining classes needed to graduate through this online course site-- i did about 2 years of school in 2 months lol. i applied to university on a whim and got in. i was 16 when i started university.
in uni, my schedule changed drastically, and i had less time to roleplay. this is when i started writing fanfics. im not sure if i have a "style" or anything really (maybe you could tell me if i do), but any skill i have with writing comes from those years of roleplaying + lots of fanfic reading. id say the only thing (writing-wise) i really learned from my degree is how to proofread for grammatical errors and what i DONT like/find to be lazy writing.
sorry lol i feel like i always do some bigass story about my life whenever i answer these lol. but thanks for the ask!
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hungerandthirst · 5 months
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second program done – grade 4s again but from a co-ed school
these kids were soooo different from last week’s angels – i think this was genuinely the worst listening ability i’ve ever seen in a group of kids. we never once had silence, it was impossible to get their attention. and it was kind of cute because they all just liked each other a lot and wanted to talk to each other all the time but holy shit. even one minute of actual listening was not achievable.
this group was also a little bit like “too cool for school” and many of them were referencing memes etc which is so sad and disorienting to see from 9 year olds…
that said, at the end of the program we did a gratitude activity and got really genuine answers about like food, nature, family/friends etc so obviously some things clicked. i also got real engagement and insightful answers after the sit spot with my group which was interesting because i honestly didn’t think they would be able to handle it. but sometimes they surprise you
i definitely started the week in a funk and would randomly sink into despair whenever i had a minute to myself. this is the first job i’ve had where i haven’t had coworkers who became true friends (it’s only been two weeks but my only coworkers are three people in the mid 30s to early 40s range who are all my direct superior…..) obviously that’s just lucky on my part but i think it’s actually taking a toll that i just do the work and then I’m completely alone and i’m the only new person and there’s nobody to just like chat shit and process the new working environment with. it feels like being an only child again – i dont know anything and the three of them know each other super well and people are nice to me but there’s nobody to hang out with. and this makes it harder for me to pull off the energy i need to engage kids for 14 hours a day because i have no outlet for anything when I’m there. it’s kind of lonely.
last weekend i was sooooo anxious about canoeing and my walkabout and i had literally no reason to be it was completely fine. canoeing actually kind of pissed me off because nobody gave me any instructions and the tide was sooooooo low that it was so difficult and chaotic to launch…. then when we were trying to raft up with the other canoes i meant to tell the left side to do something but i accidentally said right so we went the wrong way and it just felt so shitty idk. and then when we landed the tide was still so low and my boat hit a sandbar so I had to push us back out and try again to come in and my hiking boots got full of water and i was actually just in such a bad mood. ugghhhhh it was literally fine i just was pissed off
because of that my boots were wet for the entire program and it was so uncomfortable. and now I need to figure out what to do because they smell foul
the weather was unbelievable like it was sunny as they got off the ferry and then it started raining as soon as we launched the canoes an hour later. then it rained and was freezing for 48 hours straight until we did our closing circle and as soon as they got on the ferry to leave it was sunny again…. audacious weather
my poor kids were soaking wet and freezing and we still had to eat lunch outside and they kept asking me why we had to eat outside and i was like girl i literally have no idea. we’re trying to cram 50 people under this tiny tarp can we not just find somewhere to go under cover or indoors like this is insane.
on that note like we literally just need more staff. trying to run programs like this with a staff team of literally 4 people is insane. even just one extra set of hands would make a huge difference and they have no backup plan if somebody gets sick/injured
i’m worried that one of the teachers gave negative feedback about me on the evaluation forms??? there was just some weird specificity in handing out the forms in our debrief meeting that seemed like there was something about either me or one specific other staff member. and that’s fair because i don’t think i did my best work this week but i do wanna know and it sucks because I have THREE BOSSES and NO COWORKERS so everybody just gets to know except for me
i don’t even know like…. in this job i’ve experienced a range from “i like this” to “i actively dislike this” which has never really happened to me at a job like this before. I’ve never once been like wow i love this so much!!! and it’s unusual for my to not enjoy work/being outdoors to the point that i just want to go home. it has its redeeming moments for sure and it seems to get better as the week goes on but it’s hard to not have coworkers that aren’t my superior
my main boss said i was really funny and everybody liked the characters i did this week 👍
got my first pay check and not a moment too soon
i am really looking forward to my summer job w the whales and i have a zoom call with the team on monday so that’s something to look forward to
the program this upcoming week is a completely new curriculum in a completely new location so i’m basically starting from scratch…… sigh.
only 5 more programs babe… it’s fine
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lesbianpleasuresss · 2 years
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A plans our hookups around when I’m ovulating because the sex we have is unreal!!! I drove over Thursday night, we changed into swimsuits and hopped into her hot tub. There was another guy there but we didn't care. I was sitting in her lap with her hands all over me, running up and down my chest, rubbing my thighs, and squeezing me closer. I was feeling so relaxed from the heat and turned on from having her hands all over me. We were making out, humping each other and giggling while catching up. We stayed until about 11 when we went back upstairs and showered together and got ready for bed. We fucked for hours started around 12 and didn’t stop until 4:45am. We recorded a bunch of it. I was so wet, so open, and so energetic! I felt like I could keep riding her and that I could have come over and over again. The only thing that killed me was that she kept telling me to stop when things started feeling too good and would tell me to wait for her to come but it took her fucking 45 min to cum bc she came 3 times the day before. 
Friday morning we had a slow morning because both of our morning meetings got cancelled. We got ready for the day together, ate breakfast and coffee together. Then we went downstairs and started studying in the business center. She went and moved my car for me and paid for my weekends parking :)She let mer use her apartment for my research group meeting and therapy which was really kind. Then she came upstairs and we kept working while cuddling on the day bed until it was time to get ready to too to happy hour. I loved the gentle teasing and fun we had before. We got dressed and walked over to the bar. I think because we were both tired the vibes were a little off. Plus she was on her period and we had fucked for 5 hours the night before. After happy hour, I grabbed some cake from Whole Foods and we walked home with Netflix and cuddles on the menu. We were both tired and in pain and ended up having a misunderstanding Friday night but still went to bed early and cuddled. 
Saturday morning I woke up early to finish grading, A cooked my breakfast and then I had baby shower and more grading afterwards. She was patient and supportive, and focused on her own studies while I was working. We showered bc it was hot and sweaty in the apartment and tried to hook up before going out to meet Jazz. She was being so sweet and doing everything right to turn me on, I was grinding into her but then she went directly to go down on me without giving me any warning or nipple play. I didn’t like it and instead of saying something I just laid there and took it until I got upset. Then I made some bitchy comment along the lines of “you’ve had 4 months to figure out what I like and you still dont know...” and I could see the hurt on her face when I said it, but she heard me out and said lets get ready instead. once we were both ready she turned me being bitchy into a game and said she was gonna show me that she knew exactly how I liked it. So we took shots, danced and got an uber to catch one. While we were waiting outside for jazz, she picked me up put me on a garden ledge and began making out with me while fingering me in public, but I was still in a bitchy mood so I kept talking shit and at one point she just walked away from me and left me laughing with my pants completely unzipped sitting o n the ledge. She came back and I convinced her to slap me while she was mad at me and it got me so hot. We had fun with jazz and went to a dive bar after and once I was tired I said I wanted to go home. 
Once we got home A convinced me to take another shot and then told me she was going to get me drunk and take advantage. And I think she did kind of, I don’t really remember that night but I know I fell asleep between her legs while giving her head, right before she came lmaooooo pay back is a bitch. but she recorded the whole thing so she has been sending me these cute little clips. After I fell asleep she woke me up to feed me and take my make up off for me. At one point while she was feeding me she almost said she loved me but she caught herself before she said the whole word and changed it to like or something. Anyways we knocked out on the daybed, naked, without brushing our teeth and ko. 
Around 7 in the morning we moved over to the bed so it wouldn't be as bright and went back to sleep. She went to get my car and in that time I cleaned up, showered, pooped, and packed my stuff to leave. When I came back she was upset and said she wished that I was still asleep. AWWWW so we made and ate breakfast, I took a short nap while cuddling her as she studied but then she got me turned on and I started making out with her, she went and got her strapless strap and said she wanted me to ride her while we used it. I gave her head and fingered her until she was nice wet and open and ready for the plug end of the strap and once she put it in, I began to suck on the strap. It was the perfect shape and size to go down into my throat so I was able to easily give her an amazing blow job. Shed have me stop sucking strap to suck on her clit and I would go back and forth between the two while shoving the strap into her fucking her up. When she came once around the strap I climbed onto her and started riding and had her come twice from that, then I got off and sucked her off again this time had her cum spray all over me, I was drooling over myself and sweat everywhere. it was nasty, filthy sex and it was so fucking gooooood. 
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goatsenpaiultimate · 2 years
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(If you’re comfortable) could you do Bakugou comforting his s/o that has been going through a lot of stress and is now numb to everything (like feeling wise), she wants to grow but everything is difficult and she just needs a hug! If this is too much that’s okay please do whatever makes you feel comfortable 🥰❤️
Am I Good Enough? Bakugou x Reader
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Why did it feel as though the universe wanted to work against you? To keep you in a stagnant stage in your life? You were failing some of your classes, you hardly hung out with your friends anymore, hardly finding the strength and the willpower to put on a fake smile and socialize. Not to mention while your classmates found amazing ways to improve their quirks and use them in different ways, you still had no idea how to do that with your after all this time. You were getting left behind and you felt as though there was nothing you could do about it.
You walk into your dorm room and toss your backpack onto the side before letting yourself collapse onto your bed. Another day of feeling like a failure. You werent sure how much more of this you could endure. Maybe it's not too late to let go of your dreams of being a hero and maybe you could go to a normal high school. Maybe then you could feel exceptional. Then a thought shot through your head. What would your friends think? No…what would your hot headed boyfriend think?
You had been avoiding him these past couple of weeks, finding an excuse as to not let him into your dorm room or take any of the little romantic nightly walks you two would take, talking about your possible future together. What if he already hated you? What if he just didn't care anymore because you've pushed him away?
You began to tear up. Maybe its for the best, you think. Maybe now he'll realize he deserves someone better-
A knock on your door snaps you out of your dark thoughts.
"Who…Who is it?" You ask, not expecting your voice come out so broken and weak.
"Open the door, dumbass or I'm blasting the door down…"Bakugou said in an almost shockingly soft tone. It sounds otherworldly.
You sighed and wiped your eyes. Better to get this over with now so you wouldn't hurt him anymore…
"The door is unlocked, Kats…" You say, looking away from the door.
You tense up as it opens and shuts, his heavy footsteps slowly getting closer to you until they stop right infront of you. You let your gaze shift towards the floor. You see him kneel and his hands coming into view, resting on your thighs.
"Baby….please tell me what's wrong. I'm fuckin worried about you. You seem so out of it and I've been trying to give you space and shit…..but that doesn’t seem to be helping. Talk to me….so I can fix whatever's wrong.Or kick anyone's ass that's made you feel some type of way." He said, squeezing ever so slightly. Almost like a reassurance that it was okay and that he was here. For you.
You didn't realize before that you had held off on crying. Until the tears started rolling down your face and a sob snuck up pn you from your chest.
"I just…I-I feel like such a FAILURE, Tsuki! I can't do anything right! My grades are slipping! I've Neglected our friends, I've pushed you away! I can't even get my quirk to do anything than what i could on day one! I dont think I can ever become a hero! Because I'll never be good enough! Not for myself, you…..or Anyone!" You say, finding yourself crying even harder, as Bakugou pulled you into a big hug. Holding you as close to him as he possibly could. You gripped his shirt with an iron grasp in turn, crying all the pain away on his shoulder.
He stroked your hair and let you cry it all out, mumbling a small "I'm sorry" every now and then. He couldn't help but feel responsible partly in this. Maybe if he had come to you with all these concerns when they first popped up into his mind, maybe you wouldn't have so many negative thoughts about yourself built up.
He thought the world of you. He thought you were smart, strong, sometimes stupidly courageous and just down right gorgeous. It was killing him hearing you feel so terribly about yourself. He felt like a terrible partner, but that was gonna change starting tonight, he swore on it.
Once you had calmed down, your crying reduced to sniffling, he pulled back a little so that he could look at your face and look you in the eye. His eyebrows were furrowed but his eyes remained soft.
"Listen up, idiot. You are way better than you think you are. You are one of the strongest, fucking intelligent people that I know. The problems you have right now are fixable if you need for them to be. I'm gonna help you every step of the way, be by your side, bugging the piss outta ya until everything is the way you want it to be, ya hear?" He says, pressing his forehead against yours.
You manage to crack a small smile, before closing your eyes."Yeah…I hear you, Katsuki….I love you so much."
"I love you too, dumbass. Now wipe the snot off your face so I can give you a kiss."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm sorrryyyy if this isnt what you meant! It's been a hot minute since I've wrote ;-;
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xoxo-teddybear · 4 years
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Bakugou’s daughter brings home a Boyfriend
Bakugou x wife!reader
Ft. Bakugou’s daughter
Warnings: fluff, lowkey Crack, sexual mentions, small angst, cursing, Bakugou being such a dad
BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST
A/N: This is one of my favorite types of Bakugou. Domestic father Bakugou!! So bc of that fact, this piece was born. Hope you enjoy!
Bakugou as a boyfriend? Bliss. Bakugou as a fiancé? Heaven. Bakugou as a husband? Euphoric
Bakugou as a dad?.......he sure is something
Don’t get me wrong, Bakugou would be the ultimate dad
Baby crying in the middle of the night? Sleep love, daddy’s got it. Baby needs a bottle? He can warm it up with his hands. Baby’s feeling bored? Look at these mini fireworks in his hands!! Katsuki’s got it all
But that’s a baby Bakugou
Bakugou with a teenager
oOf
Katsuki’s teen will be either one of two things
His best friend
Or his mortal enemy (whom he still loves endlessly)
His 16 year old daughter, Katsumi, was both
And yes they loved each other very much, but they also got into battles on who could cook dinner better, who Y/N loved more, hell, when y’all came back from a restaurant THEY FOUGHT OVER WHO MADE IT TO THE FRONT DOOR FIRST
But this battle? Y/N might just let them Kill each other...just this once
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“WHO THE FUCK IS THI-“
*SMACK* (thx Y/N)
“Daddy, this is Izuru! Izuru this is my lovely mother and that’s my shitty dad that I love so dearly!”
Katsumi definitely inherited her guts from the Bakugou’s
“Nice to meet you Mr and Mrs. Bakugou!”
Ah man, here we go
Silence. Pure, awkward, scary, silence. And of course Y/N’s nervous twitching HOPING that her dear husband doesn’t murder the green haired boy. As the young couple stand infront of the doorway smiling, the older couple is staring at them, one in nervousness, and the other in shock. (I’m talking Denki going 4 million volts shocked)
“Well.....Welcome Izuru! I knew you’d be coming over soon but I didn’t expect it tonight. It’s lovely to meet you,” Y/N ever so kindly said once she let out a sigh.
Her husband almost got whiplash from how fast he turned to look at her. “Knew?!? You knew about this kid?? And didn’t bother to tell me?!??”
“Well if I told you, you woulda stopped this meeting from happening ya jerk!” Y/N visciously explained.
“YA DAMN RIGHT CUZ-“ silenced with another smack from his wife. Y/N sure learned a lot from Mitsuki. “Please come in you two, I’ll start dinner.”
As the young couple sat in the living room speaking, the older one was in the kitchen preparing food. Well one of them was, the other was too busy burning a whole into the poor boy’s body with just his eyes.
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*SMACK*
“Ow.” Continues to stare
“Suki stop that, you’re gonna scare the poor boy.” Y/N said.
“GOOD. I DONT WANT SOMEONE LIKE HIM CONTAMINATING THE BAKUGOU LINE!” The blonde dramatically yelled.
“Contaminating? Love, we don’t even know if they’ve had sex. I doubt he’s “contaminating” anything any time soon.” You said with attitude.
Bakugou just stared at you know with the same look.
“Hmph!” And turned to look back at the kids.
“HEY!” Bakugou screamed.
“Heyyyyy~” Katsumi replied.
“No not “Heyyyy~,” Katsuki began and replied with a girly impersonation of his daughter as he walk towards the couple. “I mean, HEY, as in have you had sex with this kid?” He sternly asked.
“KATSUKI OH MY GOD,” Y/N screamed as she dropped something in shock.
“.......Yeah, so what?” His daughter replied.
Y/N wasn’t even mad. She already knew. She could tell. Mother’s instinct I guess.
Katsuki was fuming.
“NOPE! NO! THIS RELATIONSHIP WONT GO ON! YOU’RE TOO YOUNG TO BE HAVING SEX!” The older blonde screamed while looking at the now blushing green haired teen and his rebellious daughter. And Y/N was just giving him this...look.
‘What a fucking hypocrite’ you thought to yourself.
“How old were you when you fucked mom?”
(ITS QUIET AINT NO BACKTALK)
Pure and utter silence.
Katsuki started stepping back from the couple while facing them and nodding his head. “.....use condoms,” and walked back to his deceased wife.
As dinner is placed on the table and everyone takes their seats, Katsuki can’t help but stare at this boy. Why does he seem so familiar?
Everyone just ate and talked. Grades, school, when did y’all meet, how long has it been? The usual. But Katsuki remained silent while thinking. And then..it clicked!
Katsuki slammed his hands on the table and stood up from his seat looking at the boy across from him. “What’s your last name?!”
Izuru was nervous because he was well aware of who Katsumi’s father was and how her father’s relationship with his own father was kinda iffy.
“M-Midoriya sir.” He nervously stated.
Katsuki saw red.
“DEKU?!??????!!!!!” He screamed
“Oh come on Katsuki! Like that wasn’t obvious!” You said rolling your eyes.
“There is NO WAY IN HELL I’m gonna let the Bakugou line be contaminated with Deku’s genes! Our family line only brings in the best of the best!” Katsuki proudly and loudly stated.
“So what am I?” Y/N asked.
“The best of the best! You were and are the perfect one for me Y/N! You know this, I know this, everyone knows this. And look at what we created-“ he was interrupted by his wife.
“A mini you?”
“A MINI ME! And who wouldn’t want that?!”
“Dad.” Katsumi said.
Now that caught Katsuki off guard. For the past 16 years, Katsumi has always been a daddy’s girl. She never called him “dad,” ew. She said “Daddy,” or “Shitty dad.” As Katsuki turned to his daughter he could see the look in her eyes.
“.......you really wanna be with this kid?” He asked.
“I really do.” Katsumi said while grabbing onto Izuru’s hand.
“...Ok then. You can be with him.” Katsuki calmly said.
Katsumi excitingly got up and ran towards her dad’s seat giving him a hug.
“Thanks daddy,” she said while giving him a kiss on the cheek.
Dinner continued on as normal as it could. Katsuki was just gonna have to learn how to let go.
Later
As the married couple got ready to sleep, Katsuki was hanging outside their balcony.
“What was up with you Blasty? I haven’t seen that kinda Katsuki since UA.” You jokingly said as you went to stand beside him.
“You’re not scared?” Katsuki asked.
“Of?”
“Katsumi. She’s growing up. She has a boyfriend now. That girl is having sex! She’s not daddy’s little girl anymore.” He sadly said.
“That’s what this is about? Katsumi growing up? Suki, this was always gonna happen. She’s in her prime teenage years. She’s 16! A lots gonna start happening.” You began.
“I know that but-“
“But nothing Katsuki. You can be scared of her growing up, I am too, but we can’t be so scared that we try and stop her. You just have to know that Katsumi will always come back to us no matter how old she is. And she will always, always be a daddy’s girl. Her entire world revolves around you Katsuki, but we gotta let her go at some point. We have to let her grow. That’s how the best of the best are made after all, right? It’s what we look for in a Bakugou.” You finished.
Katsuki couldnt do anything but smile. You were right. He knew you were. And he was willing to let his little cub grow.
“......You’ve gotta stop interrupting me when I talk.” He laughed.
“And you’ve gotta stop saying the dumbest shit in the world.” You teased back.
He pulled you in for a quick peck and just held you there in his arms. He was so glad he had you to keep him grounded. You’re the best of the best after all. It only makes sense.
“Daddy?” Katsumi walked into her parents room, unnoticed.
As the two broke the hug to see their daughter, looking a little timid, Katsuki spoke.
“Katsumi, hey princess. What’s up with you.” Katsuki asked as he walked towards his daughter.
“You’re not...disappointed in me, right? You know, for who I chose to be with. I’m sorry if I chose Izuru but I-“ this time, it was Katsuki who interrupted.
“Hey hey, no of course not baby bear. I would never be disappointed in who your true feelings pulled you to. I don’t want you to apologize for anything when today I caused most of the trouble.” Katsuki said while wiping one of his daughter’s stray tears.
“You know I’m never gonna leave you guys. Right? I’m gonna grow up but I’ll always want to have a close relationship with you and mom. I love you guys, and I’m not going anywhere.” Katsumi said.
“We know Katsumi. And we love you too. And we’re far from disappointed in you. We are so proud of the young woman you’ve become today.” Y/N joined in.
Katsumi ran to her mother and gave her the tightest hug, and Katsuki couldn’t help but stare at his two girls. His world. His entire reason for living. All right there in his arms as he pulled them in for a bigger hug.
“Thanks you guys. Well, I’m gonna head to bed. I’ve got a date with Izuru tomorrow and I don’t wanna be late.” Katsumi began walking towards her parents door until Katsuki called her.
“Hey baby bear,”
“Yeah?”
“Izuru. He seems alright. He’ll be good for you.” Katsuki admitted.
“Yeah. He really is. He’s the best of the best after all. Reminds me of someone I know.” Katsumi said while leaving the room.
Yeah. Katsuki will be just fine.
A/N: Sheesh. This kinda sucked but I did this in my literature class sooo....it’s still credible work since I was writing, right? Yeah..?....No?...yeah ok. Anyways, HOPED YOU ENJOYED IT BEAR CUBS🧸💗
P.S. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT!! And I PROMISE I’ll get better and produce more work. Feel free to leave requests!
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eddiemunsonwoofty · 2 years
Text
Fix me - Part Four
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Summary: You reach out to the local "freak"/drug dealer for some kind of escape after your mom dies. Turns out he's the escape you needed.
Caution: Fighting with parents. Talks of drugs and drug use.
📝: well I got my first few likes. I feel like the story is progressing how I want it to. I'm writing in parts because I don't want it to get jumbled from me just trying to finish. I want this story to build.
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"Where have you been, y/n?" My dad asks again, but this time his voice lowered. "I was out." I said smuggly.
Since mom died, dad really hasn't been my favorite person. He really hasn't tried very hard to understand me since then. He's just gone through the motions like nothings changed at all.
He leaves Steve and I to do most things around the house, like cook and clean up for ourselves. When he gets home he usually falls into the routine of; Come in at 6 O'clock, hangs up his keys, sets his briefcase on the table, walks to the fridge, grabs a beer and pops it open, chugs the 1st beer, and reaches for the second, pops it, takes it to the couch, and flicks on the t.v.
Thats where he stays until late. Never eating dinner with us. Some nights I hear him rummaging through the refrigerator for the left overs, but not often. Steve and I often see him passed out on the couch the next morning. Steve will go and wake him so he doesn't miss work, but I couldn't care less. Steve says he needs the job he has so we can stay in our home. We can't afford for him to lose it.
"Out?" Steve scoffs, "With who? Robins already called here looking for you, she says you just took off after school."
"I wasn't with anyone!" I lied, loudly. "It was just a rough day, so I left school and just... walked." Here I was lying to my dad and brother. I lied to my dad all the time, but not Steve.
Steve had really been there for me, but there was no way I could tell him about smoking with Munson. He hated Eddie ever since the 4th grade. But I never knew why. Steve and Eddie should have graduated together, but Eddie has been held back for the past 2 years. Super, Super Senior I guess.
"You never, just go for a walk, y/n?" Steve said confused. "You always come straight home after school. I got scared so I called dad." He was right. I would come home and go straight to my room and bury myself in darkness until Steve would make me come out. Usually to eat.
"Well this time I did!" I shouted as I shoved past them to go up the stairs to my room. I slammed my door so they would think I was super pissed at them, but in reality, I had to get away from them because any longer they would have known that I was absolutely stoned. I threw myself on my bed, my head hit the pillow and I was out.
"What am I going to do with her!" Dad said to Steve, shaking his head. "What do you mean?" Steve said smuggly. "You should have been doing something 6 months ago when mom died!" "She's a wreck dad, and you don't even notice!" *SMACK* Dad lays one right across Steve's face. "What the hell!" Steve shouts. "Dont tell me I don't notice that my once sweet, innocent, angel has slipped away from me!" My dad cries out. "Why do you think I drink? Because its fun?!" He bellows out louder. "I-I...don't know what to do son!"
Steve backs away from him, watching him clutch the side of our dining room table, sobbing. He heads upstairs to my room where he finds me asleep. "How the fuck could she sleep through that?" Steve said at a whisper. He knew something was up. He shut my light off and let me sleep. Even though he was suspicious he knew I needed to sleep.
The next morning I sprung up out of bed. I was still in my clothes from the day before. It was 5:30 in the morning. The sun wasn't even out. Holy shit! Did I sleep all night? Wait a minute....I didn't have a nightmare about mom! What the hell was this magic shit Eddie gave me? *grrrr* I hear and feel my stomach growl. I was ravenous. I crept downstairs as not to wake anyone, and my eyes landed on the easiest thing I could make myself. Cereal. I grabbed the box and poured myself a bowl. Took a bite. Oh my God, was it good. I hadn't had a bowl of cereal in a while. I usually skipped breakfast, and lunch, and most of the time dinner. Chips and dip were my usual sustenance. In small doses.
I had shriveled up into a whopping 110 lbs give or take since mom. I was tall so the lack of weight made me stick out as gross even more. I looked like a skeleton. Damn, the cereal is so good. I think to myself as I pour my second bowl.
I hear footsteps come down the stairs. "Uh...morning sis?" Steve says confused and half asleep. "Your up and eating?" He tilts his head to the side as he starts to put together a pot of coffee. "Uh, yeah I woke up hungry." My voice lowered. "Well its good to see you up like this y/n." He smiled. "Better than dragging you out of bed, thats for sure."
I head back up to my room and start changing. I go to empty my jean pocket when I feel it, the other joint Eddie gave me. How did I not crush this fucker while I slept? I put it inside my jewelry box, it seemed like a good place to hide it.
I willingly went and got in the shower. It still was just a tap in, tap out shower though. Dried off and threw on an oversized tee and jeans. I did brush my hair, it felt good to have the bristles rush across my scalp. I closed my eyes and just felt it.
*knock, knock* "Yeah." I stated as a come in. Steve opened the door and leaned against the frame, he crossed his arms and just stared at me. "What?" I state, annoyed. "I know you didn't just go for a walk, y/n." He said as he threw up air quotes. "What were you doing?"
I had to tell him. But I had to lie about Eddie. He would lose his mind. I never knew that my brother could hate someone the way he hated Eddie. Eventually, I had to find out why but today wasn't the day.
"I-I...bought some weed of some stoner at school. Just a couple joints though." I stated. His posture changed from leaning to standing straight up. "What!" He yelled at me. "Robin, told me how she smoked pot to take the edge off, so I wanted to see if it would for me. It did, Steve." I cried out to him. "I slept all night for the first time in 6 months, I ate breakfast. I fucking showered, man!"
Steve relaxed some. He knew I was right. He knew that it helped a little. I wasn't cured. I still felt the sting of mom inside. But for one night I didn't dream about her. For one night I didn't wake up scared and feeling lost. I just woke up.
"Who did you get it from? That fucker, Munson?!?" He asked sternly. He knew Eddie was the #1 drug dealer at school. Almost everybody bought off him.
"God, Steve, no!" I scolded back. "Just some guy I see at school all the time, stoned out of his mind." "I don't even know his name." The lie I told my brother came out easier than expected. I can't believe I just lied to him like that. "Ok, y/n, if you really think it helps, I'll back off." Steve said with a little worry in his voice. "Just don't get carried away with the stuff, alright?"
"I won't, Steve."
I made my way out of the house. "Fuck!" I exclaim as I realize my car is still at school. I remember then that eddie wouldn't let me take myself home. I walk back inside and ask Steve for a ride. He obliged.
When I get into school I lay eyes on Robin. I rushed up to her. "Ok, so Steve knows about you telling me about the pot idea." I explain. "But for God's sake Robin, if you tell Steve I was talking to Eddie yesterday in class, I can and will kill you!"
"Oh my God, y/n, chill out!" Robin said pushing me back a little. " I know how Steve feels about Eddie, I won't spill!" "I'm trusting you with this Robin, swear to it." I demand. "I swear, geez!" Robin rolled her eyes at me. She then gave me a smile and links her arm in mine and we start to walk down the hall to our lockers.
"I slept all night, no nightmares." I tell her. "Oh shit! Really?!?" She jumps up and down clapping her hands. "Yes, and I ate breakfast." I say to her, proud of myself. She screeches and gives me a hug. "Alright. Alright calm down!" I chuckle as I push her off me. "It was just one night. Eddie gave me a little more but not much."
"How much is not much?" She asked curiously. "Just one more joint. He made me smoke the 1st one with him." My eyes rolled, but I smiled a little. I knocked it off real quick so Robin didn't see, bit she saw. "So you smoked for the first time with Eddie Munson?" Her curiosity climbed. "How was it?"
"It was ok, he picked on me mostly, but in an easy 'trying not to trigger me' sort of way." As I explained to her what all went on yesterday, her smile increased with every word. Especially when I got to the "shotgun part", and how hot it was. Yes, hot! When I replayed it in my mind I could picture it vividly. I could feel warmth in my stomach as I told her about it.
"Shotgun, huh?" She quizzed. "That seemed a little purposeful, if you ask me." "How so?" I ask. "Well, he could have just explained better on how to smoke, that shotgun was just like 'Hey! I'm here!" Ya know?" She was right! That fucker just wanted to kiss me!
I liked it though, so what does that mean. That i like Eddie? No way! As I lose myself in the thought of this, and Robin rambling, I notice Eddie just down the hall at his own locker. He had it open shuffling through it, papers falling out onto the floor. I looked him up and down. His ripped jeans, Hellfire T shirt, leather jacket, and jean vest. Both hands were plastered with rings, weird ones,, but they still looked cool. His hair was long, dark brown, and curly. No, frizzy. But he wore it well. He had a chiseled jaw line. Perfect smile, and damn those dark brown eyes. I won't start about all his tattoos! Ugh! Did I have a crush on Eddie now? I haven't felt anything for anyone in forever.
Why Eddie? Why now? What the fuck...
Later that day, all of us were back in English. Everyone doing the same thing as the day before. I decided to talk to Eddie. Tell him thank you. Thank you for what? Getting me high or being nice to me? Not just treating me like the girl with the dead mom?
"Eddie?" I say, as I tap him on the shoulder. He turns around to see me and smiles. God, his smile was so beautiful. There's that warmth in my stomach again. "Whats, going on, princess?" He said. I smiled at the pet name this time. "Oh, so its growing on you, huh?" He said excited. "Yeah, a little, Munson." I rolled my eyes. "I just wanted to thank you for yesterday. It helped."
He grinned more. "Anytime y/n. I'm glad it helped." He turned back around to his friends. Thats it? Thats all he was going to say? He frikin kissed me yesterday! Maybe I was reading into it to much. He did explain himself. And besides, who would want to kiss a frumpy sad Skeleton? I wouldn't. I was reading into it too much. Ieft him alone and went back to my seat and waited for class to end.
I just wanted to go home. I knew what was waiting in my jewelry box.
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kashimos-hajime · 3 years
Text
gold dripping down your wrist (2/8) | r.b.
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summary: His breath flutters against your skin, and you wonder if he feels your heart tripping over in your chest. Or, despite every instinct telling him to run, Reiner gives in.
WARNINGS: ptsd nightmares, swearing, slight angst, otherwise,,, hmmm relatively unscathing besides a whole lot of yearning. dont worry next chapters will be sad as hell! pairing: reiner braun x fem!reader word count: 5.4k
a/n: hehehe biting my lip like a chad for isabel ( @luciilferss​ )
masterlist
crossposted on ao3 x
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Shooting up in a silent scream, your hand flies to your neck as the last remnants of your nightmare dissipate. Breath coming in sharp, rapid inhales, you glance around the barracks and find no one else awake. Soft snores fill the room, and you shake your head to yourself, rubbing at your eyes.
No good to fall back asleep, now. 
Your entire body covered in cold sweat, you pluck at the front of your shirt, fanning yourself out as you swing your legs off the bed. A chill travels up your pants and through the holes of your shirt as you glance out the windows. Lunar light is streaming through but the moon itself is already fading. You get up, meandering over to the windows to look out. Some of the Scouts are on guard duty, as always, but other than that—tranquility.
So weird to think they have that when outside the walls, it’s a lawless land. 
Leaning forward, you move until your nose nearly touches the glass, and someone else in the room shifts with a grunt. You look over your shoulder, trying to decipher the shadows when a rough voice calls out right next to you. 
“Creampie?”
Slapping a hand over your mouth so you don’t scream, you look down. Reiner.
“What are you doing up?”
“Did I wake you?” you question warily, and he leans into the moonlight, squinting at you as he rubs at his face. Shaking his head briefly, he studies you with a narrowed glare and you almost want to shift back into the shadows at the perpetually annoyed expression on his face but you’ve learned that he just looks like that. “You can go back to sleep.”
“Are you cold? You look like you’re shivering.”
“No, I’m okay.” Liar. You think even your bones are chattering. 
He sits up, tossing his blanket off. “I can get you another blanket from the supply closet,” he mutters wearily. Standing, he pushes himself up and nearly into your personal space but he stops right in front of you, placing a hand on your shoulder. “C’mon. Back to bed.” He flashes a quick smile before brushing past you and words bubble inside your throat as you turn to watch him sink back into the darkness.
You whisper after him: “I had a nightmare about Marco.”
It is all it takes to make Reiner freeze. He turns around immediately, and you see his eyes before anything else. Wide with guilt, with grief. You lower your own head in shame.
“I’m sorry. I know I should try to move on, but he died all alone. It’s all I can think about. He must’ve been so scared” Keeping your tone as quiet as you can, you turn your face back to the night as he returns to your side. You stare at the stars and point absently at the one twinkling down at them both. “This older kid at the farm used to tell me all that every new star is another soul joining the heavens. Do you think…” Your arm falters and a weak sigh pushes past your lips as Reiner catches your falling hand in his own. You feel the calluses on his palms against your fingers as you swallow tightly. “Maybe that one is Marco?”
Your fingers interlace with Reiner’s as he wraps an arm around your waist, and you let him pull you towards him as he presses a rough kiss against your brow. The motion makes your entire being freeze in motion as he sighs, lowering his head. His breath flutters against your skin, and you wonder if he feels your heart tripping over in your chest. The tip of his nose brushes along your forehead, before he lets go of your hand, and you feel like ice digs into the fingers when his heat leaves. His arm around your waist falls and your head ducks.
The moment’s passed.
“That’s a good way to see it.” Stepping away, you watch his figure slouch, the way his shoulders cave in, and you can’t help the next words that come out. 
“I miss him. All the time. Him. And Thomas. Mina. Like they’re watching me on my shoulders, weighing me down. I can’t see them,” you continue, “but I feel them. All the time. I’m doing everything wrong and I’m letting them down.”
“Hey, don’t think like that,” he commands sternly, eyes flashing up to meet yours. It’s chilling, how much you’re inclined to believe him, but you don’t even nod as he grasps your shoulder. “You did what you could, alright? You just keep going, one foot in front of the other. You were one of the best in our class.” 
“I wasn’t even top ten,” you snort.
“Grades doesn’t make a soldier. Annie should’ve told you that it was all bullshit,” he says and you wince to yourself, lips pressing together You know he’s partially right, but you don’t have the strength to argue the rest. Guiding you back to bed, Reiner gently pushes you back down onto the cot and you fall back, lacing your fingers over your stomach. 
Craning your head up at Reiner, you look at him looming over you, silhouette outlined in silver. He stares down at you, his expression shrouded, and you wonder what he’s thinking in that mind of his.
Your hand lifts from your stomach, and taps on the open space beside you. A soft thump-thump, like your pulse, like an invitation. 
He turns away to glance back at the bed, and the moonlight hits his pale face blindingly. Squinting, you try to discern what emotion plays at his face as a sinking sensation begins to drag at your insides.
He’s going to walk away, a voice inside crows. Who do you think you are? Seducing the guy you have a crush on? As if.
You want to take it back. Excuse it as a moment of weakness. A brief, Can we forget I just did that? They could just move on with their lives knowing some lines are better left uncrossed.
But then, there is a weak: “This one time, alright?” 
Every word turns to dust in your mouth.
He turns back to you before you can respond and crawls into the space next to your own. Your heart lurches in your chest as he settles beside you with a silent groan.
He lifts an arm and you scoot closer, your head resting on his shoulder. Ear pressing into his chest, the soft thunder of his heart fills your entire body as he pulls you tight. Glancing up at him, you watch as his eyes slide shut tightly.
Your own face crumples and you bury it in his chest. “She’d say,” you continue on quietly, “that the the brightest stars were the fiercest warriors.” He stiffens as you twist the fabric of his shirt in a tight fist and your stomach twists as you try to find the words. The shadows are closing in on you, and you can only anchor yourself to the arm swathed around you as you whisper his name. “I was pretty much all alone after she left to find work a few years back. It’s part of why I joined the corps, but I heard she’s back there, now, and—”
“Don’t. Don’t tell me.”
What? 
Head jerking up to look at him, you meet a strong jaw clenching in a sharp scowl. His hand on your arm traces smooth circles and a drowsiness begins to flood your senses as he lets out a soft groan, rolling onto his side and pulling you flush against his chest. A leg slipping between his, you tilt into his chest as his arm wraps around your waist and it’s so tight you can barely breathe. Your arms crushed between their chests, your fingers twist the collar of his shirt and your nose brushes his chin when you shift against him.
“It just makes all this harder,” he explains hoarsely. 
A heat blooms in the small distance between their bodies as you nod. You understand. 
The wooden bedframe creaks beneath their weight as the hand on your back migrates to your shoulder blade and he buries his face in the plane of your shoulder. The searing skin of his temple against your jaw and your stomach in knots, you nuzzle yourself closer.
“I really am sorry for waking you,” you whisper, freeing your arms so you can loop them around his neck, thread your fingers in his hair but he doesn’t acknowledge your words. Their every breath is shared, and you swear their hearts are touching through the thin walls of their skin and sinew.
A gentle wave crashes over you when he hooks his fingers onto your shoulder, so unbearably close that you wish he’d either come closer or push himself away. You want to sink into his chest, hold onto him for the rest of the night as your eyes begin to flutter shut. His arms tightening around you, you think for a moment, you can finally relax. He’s just so warm.
“I know since Annie joined the MPs, there’s a sort of emptiness in you. You miss her. I get that.” Reiner lifts his head, arms withdrawing a bit. “I’m okay with you using me to fill whatever space she used to, but I can’t—” You hear a soft inhale above and you look up. You wonder if he can feel your racing heart under his palm. He’s already looking at you, and when your eyebrows rise in silent question, he shakes his head and looks away, lips curling into a scowl you barely see in the darkness. “I can’t.”
You can’t what, Reiner? Why won’t you look at me?
Then, he shivers, eyes shutting tight as he ducks his head again, and his cheek presses against your temple. Your eyes widen when his arms seem to pull you infinitely closer. “Shit.” More softly to himself: “Never mind. I’ve gotta go back to my bunk.” His breath is warm against your skin. A shudder shoots through you. “I can’t sleep in your bed.” A squeeze of your waist. Your leg slides against his thighs and he only hugs you tighter. “This isn’t right. I shouldn’t—”
“I’ll let go in a minute,” you tell him softly. 
Hs hand flattens along the top of your spine, spreading as if he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he doesn’t catch you. Cradling your head, his hand burns your skin.
When you wake up, it is alone to a mattress underneath your back, but Reiner waits until everyone leaves the room before he kisses your cheek good morning. It’s a one-time occurence, you know, but still, it’s nice.
.
Walking towards the edge of the internment zone, Reiner spots the newspaper cart milling with people, no doubt buying the new papers relaying the Marleyan victory in Fort Slava. The crowd is cheering to one another and his hands roll into fists as the line shifts forward. Meandering nearer, he can’t help but think of Paradis.
It was nothing like the hell they’d described. There were just tall walls, and people. Sure, they were behind a couple of years, technology wise, but they were relatively the same.
One thing that’s different though, was that there had never been the need for papers within the Walls. And if there was news to relay, you would come with the fresh news from Section Commander Miche, or Captain Levi. He’d always read your face as you gave the news—if your eyes still had a spark in them, that meant it had to have a hint of good news.
And you had been so relieved once you reached Utgard Castle you had hugged him so tight that he couldn’t breathe when he caught those eyes glimmering in the dawn. He remembers holding you tight against him with his ‘uninjured’ arm and the way you had just…
You had gone to him first. Not Bertholdt, not Connie.
Him.
And he had gone to you first, when he had seen you swaying in your seat atop a horse who hung his head low. He couldn’t even remember anything else, except seeing you and breaking away from his group, galloping towards you and Bertholdt. You were bloody, a corpse sitting up—his entire body had felt his heart drop into the depths of his stomach, the seizing in his gut. Even after he had thrown your confession into the dirt, stepped on it, told you it couldn’t be—he had betrayed that all in an instant seeing you with Death’s hand on your shoulder.
Shit.
He used to be so much stronger. How else could he still let you go for a mission that’s brought him nothing but ghosts?
“Excuse me.” The words pull out of his mouth as soon as he feels someone collide with his arm. Something falls and his hand shoots out to catch it before it can crash to the ground, his other hand grasping onto their bicep. Paper crunches and he straightens up, immediately finding who he bumped into. Purple hat shrouding a ducked head, she doesn’t look at him, frozen in space. You, he thinks dazedly. You again. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” he continues quietly. “Are you alright?”
A short nod, and then she breaks off, clamping a hand over a plum sleeve where a white armband rests, taking off past him, back deeper into the interment zone. Reiner glances down at his fist, at the paper still clutched tight in his own fist, and his head shoots back up to search for the figure.
Gone. Shit. How did they even disappear so quickly? The road behind him stretches for a distance that would take more than two damn seconds to cross.
Fitting a palm to his brow, Reiner’s expression tightens as he looks down at the paper and he sighs, whipping it open to the sight of their so-called victory.
He’s seeing things. He’s… he’s just tired, and tormented. That’s all. Even the letters of the paper look a bit strange to his straining eyes, and he sighs, lifting his head again to look at the empty road behind him.
.
“This is really crunchy,” you mumble. Krista smiles, pleased. Swinging the axe you’d been using to chop wood into the stump, you swallow and set a hand on her blonde head, rubbing it fondly before taking another bite. “Where’d you get this? We haven’t gone to town this week.”
“Bertholdt, Connie, Sasha and Armin went to go pick some fruits surrounding headquarters while Eren trains. I thought I’d bring some back for you gys.”
“That’s nice.” You grin, taking another bite and letting out a noise of surprise when juice dribbles down your wrist. Good thing your sleeves are rolled up. “You should take one to Captain Levi. I think apples are his favourite.”
“How do you know that?”
“Who doesn’t like apples?” 
Krista shrugs as another shape lumbers over to you.
“What’s going on over here?”
“Reiner, catch.” You grab an apple from Krista’s basket and fling it at the guy who catches it easily with a grin. Taking a bite, his eyebrows rise and you laugh as a delighted expression spreads over his face. “Good, right?”
He nods. His whole body is coated in a fine layer of sweat, the evidence of his labour staining the front of his shirt as he stops next to you. Your heart stutters at the heat radiating off his skin as he looks at Krista. His shoulders rise and fall with his breath, and you swallow to yourself, taking another bite of your apple so you have an excuse to keep your mouth shut.
“You should bring some to Eren and the others,” he suggests. “They’ve been working hard.”
“I will.” Smiling charmingly, the blonde girl adds that there’ll be some left in the mess hall later and waves, departing. You watch her go with another crunch of your apple and you let out a small sound when golden juice dribbles down your wrist. Without thinking, you lift your arm to your mouth, sucking the trail off before it can continue down to your elbow. Something burns into your cheek, and you turn your head.
Catching Reiner staring at you, a mortified feeling strikes through you and you let out a choked sound, dropping your hand. Averting your eyes, you stammer, “Sorry. Habit. Not used to people watching me eat. Mostly ate during work hours back home, so…”
His lips pull into a flustered smile. “N-No. That’s fine. You worked on a farm, right?”
“Yeah. With other orphan kids.” It was so lonely. You look up at him bashfully and he rubs the back of his neck with a hand as he bites into his apple. Unable to help the pleased tone seeping into your voice, you say, “You remembered.”
“Of course I did. You mentioned it,” he replies, waving it away, looking away. His face is red, and you squint against the sun. “You said there was an older kid there. Talked about the stars.”
“Yeah. Yeah, she was like family. Until I joined the corps and met you, Bertholdt, and Annie, that is. You guys just… I dunno.” You rub your elbow, smiling at him. “Times like these make me miss Annie. She’s a better friend than everyone gives her credit for, y’know? We always said when the time came we would work together in the MPs.”
“Uh-huh.” Reiner looks away, eyebrows furrowed together. “It’s getting hot.”
“Yeah.” Your brow crinkles but you let his diversion slide. “We should take a break.” You gesture to the shade nearby and he takes the lead, heading over to collapse against a tree. You rotate the apple between your fingers, you take another bite, nose wrinkling as a wind sweeps against your face.
They continue to eat in silence, not much to be sad. Your heart begins to slow, even as Reiner shifts closer, one of his knees bent, the other crooked flat on the cool grass. Smiling to yourself, you just watch the sun touch everything you can see, and in times like this, of absolute nothingness, you can finally remember how beautiful the world is. 
The sky is blue enough to drown in, the clouds are infinitely fluffy, and the grass gleams white underneath the heat. Even if you’re sweating your skin off, the wind is cold like a kiss, and you feel a delighted shiver course through you.
“It’s so beautiful,” you sigh. “The world. I wish we could see more of it, but what we have here… I think I take it for granted. How truly perfect it all is.”
“Yeah.” His voice rasps against your ear and you inhale the summer wind deeply once again, feeling it fill up your entire chest. “I think I do, too.”
Looking at Reiner, your lips part in a response before rough fingers cradle your chin and tug you forward. Apple core falling to the ground, your arms crumple against a strong body and you barely resist holding him with your sticky hands as a mouth presses against yours. Body melting against his own, your stomach flutters and you let out a soft moan as his hand travelled along your chin to cup your face, thumb stroking your cheek. His other hand rests on your knee and your eyes slide close as a tongue traces the seam of your lips, dips in tentatively. Arm wrapping around his neck, you pull him in deeper by the crook of your elbow and sigh into his mouth.
The soft warmth floods your entire body, cools you down somehow, and you swear you can’t feel the ground beneath your legs. Hours seem to pass—the gust caresses your sweaty skin, the leaves seem to chime. 
It’s idyllic. 
It’s perfect.
It’s only a few beats more before he draws back sweetly, hand falling away from your face and he searches your expression.
“You, uh, missed a spot,” he whispers hoarsely, clearing his throat and drawing back. Smiling dopily to yourself, you wipe at your mouth with the back of your hand but not even that can erase the tingling sensation spreading through your face. Looking into your lap, you chew on your bottom lip, trying to prevent the ginormous smile from spreading while he leans back against the tree, looking out into the distance.
“Hey!” Heads jerking up, the two Scouts spot Ymir glaring at them by the entrance to the headquarters. “Didn’t know some of us were having a day off!”
Mikasa carries a near-passed out Eren into the building while Section Commander Hange and Section Commander Miche wave them, gesturing for them to come back in. You sit up straighter and Reiner lets out a displeased grunt as you tear up some grass by your leg.
“Get that wood and get back in here,” Miche calls. “That’s more than enough for the week.” You find yourself nodding as Reiner pushes himself to his feet and you look up as he walks back into the sun. Their superiors head in, but Ymir lingers, watching them, and you stare back until she seems to let go of her crossed arms, shake her head, and turn back inside.
You blink. Scrambling after Reiner, you catch up with him and wait to see if he’ll see anything. When he only steps towards your pile of firewood and slings the frame to hold bundles of firewood in onto his back, your hand shoots out before you can stop yourself.
He stiffens at your touch.
“Shouldn’t we talk about what just happened?” you ask quietly, a swirling sensation swimming in your chest. Confusion tinted everything as Reiner pauses, glancing at you out of the corner of your eye. “We… kissed just now.”
He ducks his head, lips curling back in a grimace. “Yeah. We did.”
Pangs hitting your chest, you take a step away from him as he bends down to collect the firewood. The sun’s already beating down on the back of your neck as you glance at the pile of wood. “Do you not like me?” 
“What?” He freezes mid-way through grabbing another bundle and you busy yourself with slinging your own carrier onto your back. Your body is burning, and it’s not because of the sun.
“I like you, Reiner, but… if you don’t like me, then I’m okay with pretending that never happened.”
“Of course I like you. You’re a great friend and soldier and—”
You shoot him a furtive look before putting it bluntly: “I like you in the way that I want you to kiss me like that all the time.”
The silence that follows will haunt you for the rest of your life. Your heart pounds in your skull, echoing like the sound of death drums before his shoulders slouch forward and he sighs heavily. You stand upright, head tilting and he grabs the back of your neck and pulls you towards him.
This time, it’s almost devouring the way he kisses you—messy, and warm, and his thumb brushes the underside of his jaw as you bend into his chest, your hands fisted, twisting his shirt at his waist tightly and you barely hear the words he murmurs into your mouth over the pounding of your heart.
“You’re so pretty—“
Panting, he kisses you again and again as you crumple in his arms and you can’t help the stupid smile on your face as you kiss him back, quick punches that last an eternity until they rip themselves off each other. More, Reiner stumbles back, and you tear yourself off of him, just so they remember how to breathe.
Your lungs scrambling for air, your fingers press against your mouth as your gaze falls to the firewood, and Reiner’s heavy breathing can be heard just a few feet away as he falls to his hands and knees. Watching him, your heart cracks into pieces, and there’s a sinking sensation in your stomach. 
Reality slams into you like a fucking horse.
“We shouldn’t,” he whispers hoarsely, fingers digging into the dirt. Your eyes wrench to him and he looks up at you harrowingly. “We’re soldiers. We shouldn’t. We could die tomorrow, next week on that expedition even, and this would be for nothing.”
Falling to your knees, you glance down at the dirt. “I like you.”
“You shouldn’t.” 
You clench your jaw. Your gut cramps as you stare blankly at the grass. “So… what now?” you ask, chest lurching. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“I know. I just…” A harsh swallow. Your breath burns in your chest. A strange pain stitches into your ribs. “We should stay friends.” Everything inside you drains, and you nod, eyes not rising. Your lips still tingle with the sensation of his mouth against your own, and you swallow the hard knot in your throat, but it only lands like a boulder in your stomach. “It’ll hurt less.”
I don’t think it will, you want to argue. I’ll still want you just as much as I do now.
But you don’t say any of that aloud. 
Instead, you try to make it sound joking as you murmur, “You’re the worst.” You flash him a quick smile that you hope dulls the edge of your words, but he merely looks at you numbly.
For a moment, Reiner’s hard frown slips into something more fragile, and he turns away with a hard swallow, whispering out a soft, “I know,” as he gets to his feet and gathers the rest of the firewood. Once his load is on his back, he half-turns to you and he looks at your hands rather than your face. “I’ll see you at the meeting.”
You wait until you can’t hear his soft footsteps cushioned by the grass until you pull yourself together. Lifting your face to the sun, wind chases away the heat clouding your cheeks, and soothes the swollen skin around your eyes.
Grabbing the wood, you rub at your face with the back of your hand and when you get back inside, Connie doesn’t seem to notice anything wrong.
.
Reiner pays the vendor and looks at his cousin, smiling uneasily as she bites into the sandwich. He wouldn’t have much more for the day if they kept going at the pace they’re going, and although he doesn’t mind (not that he could say no) a part of him just wishes he could go home. But Mom had insisted so Gabi could have some supervision and that he needed to get out, she wasn’t getting any younger and he’s so glum! 
“You need to find a nice girl, Reiner.”
He doesn’t know what about his appearance when his mom walked into his bedroom screamed romance, but apparently it was what she read between a soaked shirt and wide eyes and pale skin. 
He’d woken up in a cold sweat, as he does most days, but this time it’d been haunting.
Because it wasn’t flashes of blood, screams, the glint of metal underneath the grey sun. There was no yellow lightning, no deafening crashes.
It was almost like it wasn’t a dream. Trost had been so real, alive around them as you paid for the honeycomb and as you snuck a bite while you thought he wasn’t looking, he remembered…
The way his heart fluttered, the way he couldn’t stop looking you. There was not a moment he remembers your hand was far from his, when their elbows did not brush, when they left each other for a moment. When did he ever stop thinking about your hands, your laugh, the way you could send him into a flurry thinking what every other word you said meant?
“Reiner? You coming?”
Blinking, he looks over his shoulder to see the others already moving on. Pieck lingers near the back of the group, tilting her head at him and he clears his throat, pocketing his wallet and walking towards her.
He never meant for this. You were never meant to be more important than him than breathing. How does he carve away the prints you’ve left on his lips and eyes? Does he even want to? It’s hard to decide. 
Sometimes, he wants to scratch you out of his brain just so you can stop laughing at him. Other times, he wishes he could dig inside his skull and put the memories together in a collage the shape of you just so he has someone to talk to.
“This is so good!” Gabi cries out as Porco sets a hand on her head and Reiner suppresses the smallest smile teasing at his mouth, but it feels tired, and he lets the urge melt away easily. Walking after them slowly, he watches the festival around them, so loud with clowns and buskers and people just talking to one another that it makes his head pound.
His legs feel like they’re about to give up, and his head is heavy as he trails after them. 
“Eat slower,” Pieck censures as they migrate through a thicker crowd, “or you’ll get a stomach ache.”
“They might get a stomach ache either way,” Galliard teases. “Do you see how the slobs are eating?” Walking against the tide, Reiner makes sure he doesn’t knock anyone over going too fast in the opposite direction. The energy would be electric if he didn’t feel so bone-tired. Sun warming his face, Reiner lifts his chin to the sky just as the sound of someone’s voice teases his ear range and his head snaps to the sound, eyes widening.
Stopping in his tracks, he searches for the source and his eyes fixate on the same woman in the purple coat. His mouth opens on its own accord and his eyebrows furrow together as she pays the vendor. He tracks her figure with a quick sweep before turning away to make sure he isn’t trailing too far behind the others.
When he glances back, she’s gone.
Fucking ghost.
He shivers, catching up with the group.
“You’ve got something on your mind,” Pieck observes as he empties out his wallet for the last food stall of the afternoon. They’d just finished their slices of something the man had called pizza, and Gabi had insisted on dessert to finish the day. Explains why he’s standing in front of a portly woman who insists on the kids picking which tart they want.
“It’s fine, Pieck,” he assures, closing his wallet and slipping it back into his pocket, significantly lighter than this morning as Falco grabs a pastry glazed with honey and Reiner’s heart seizes in his chest at the golden sugar glistening in the warm sunlight. “They’re growing kids.”
“I don’t think it’s your wallet that’s the problem,” she says. Galliard grabs a tart with flecks of rose petals within the filling and glances over at the two and Reiner arches an eyebrow at the strangled expression on the guy’s face.
Weird, he muses to himself when Porco grabs another tart and begins to walk over to them.
“You seem a bit lost. Did something happen earlier?” Pieck probes. Reiner sighs, crossing his arms, watching the Candidates switch tarts so they can try all the flavours. It’s so effortlessly… innocent, in a sense, in that gesture. Shit, when’s the last time he ever felt like that?
Gold dripping down your wrist… “I can see you eating the honeycomb, you know?”
God, did he want to kiss you then.
“Nothing happened.”
Pieck frowns, but doesn’t argue it further as Porco finally reaches them.
“Which one do you want, Pieck?” he asks, not waiting for an answer before shoving the rose tart into Pieck’s hands. She smiles fondly, reaching forward to flick Porco’s forehead. Reiner rolls his eyes. “The lady said it’s a popular flavour with… the ladies.”
“Thank you, Pock.” She takes a big bite, the sugar glistening her lips and Reiner’s watching Porco’s face which only opens at the pure delight on their pretty little colleague. Mouth snapping shut, Galliard looks away as if that’ll help the faint redness of his ears, and Reiner shakes his head. He chews on his cheek to prevent the soft smirk edging onto his face before he claps Pieck on the shoulder and heads towards the kids. 
Behind him, he hears a laugh that could only be Pieck’s followed by grumbling and harsh hushing that could only be Galliard’s.
When he glances over his shoulder, he swears he must’ve imagined Porco kissing the corner of Pieck’s mouth, sugary syrup on his lips, too.
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mochatheangelkiller · 2 years
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1, 15, 23, 67
Uhh okay well,
1. When I was little, like 4 or so, I would be at the ballpark playing t-ball or playing in the park nearby as my brother played his baseballe games. I played Softball for about 10 years until I ruined my ankle the year before I stopped and couldn't play anymore (you can ask me about it later)
But as I got older I started doing more and got into camping. Every year, for about 5 years, my dad took my brother and I camping at this site about 30 minutes from our house. It was nice.
One year I went to this camp in Michigan for all girl guides/scouts and boy scouts from the USA and Canada. It was very wet.
Most of the time though I would be practicing for this concert I would do every year with my music school. I played there and at piano recitals all through grade school
When I got into grade 9 however, I stopped doing things. So unless I was working, whether that be umpiring or getting catcalled by 50 year olds at the fast food joint I worked at, I didn't go anywhere and they got boring.
15. I'm not the best at growing plants but I am pretty good at keeping them alive (veggies that is). I just got a succulent last week so I'll let you know how it goes.
23. Spending the day with them. So I'd meet them for breakfast at one of their favourite places, then we would go for a walk around town and talk about ourselves and life and sappy shit.
Then maybe we would go to their place and hang out, watch their favourite show for a couple hours and argue about how the characters handle the situation at hand. And when it's time for lunch, we would go to one of the lounge bars in town and get a couple charcuterie boards with her favourite bottle of wine and a few cocktails.
We would go to the mall after so we can buy eachother cheesy shit that we know would make them laugh and then grab some coffee at the Cafe nearby while we talk about when we would see eachother again and maybe I would be thinking about how much I wanna marry them. Fantasize about seeing them dance under fairy lights in their wedding outfit while they laugh at something stupid I said.
For dinner we would go to the best Irish pub in town and get filled up on potatoes and burgers while she tells me about the condo that we bought together. And how, next week when we're finally living together we can do this all again.
After dinner, we head to the nearest gay club and get a few shots before dancing together for a few songs, getting drunk on a few cocktails and eachother.
A few hours later, at about midnight, we stumble back to her place, drunk off our asses and pick out a lesbian romance to watch.
And maybe more happens and we find ourselves in her bed a few minutes later; or maybe we fall asleep on the other halfway through the movie. Waking up a few hours later at 5 in the morning to find our way to her bed so we dont feel too bad when we wake up later.
But instead of sleeping we lazily make out, whispering sweet nothings into the others neck, torso, lips. And we stay like that for hours before one of us inevitably gets called into work and we have to say goodbye again. We dont want this to end but we know it has to. So, on my way out of her apartment, I kiss her one last time and say I love you before heading for the airport to report some tragic story.
And we do it all again next week. This time with a place to ourselves and nothing stopping us from staying like that forever.
67. This happens a lot but one that sticks out in particular is of a castle or a mansion.
I'm walking down this grey-bricked hallway with a red carpet rolled out on top of the dark hard wood floors. The hallway is long and thin, with the only light coming from candles on the walls every few feet. At the end of the hallway is a spiralling staircase going up and down to the basement.
The stairs are made of metal and are very steep as I walk down it. When I get to the bottom I look around the pitch black room to see the only source of light coming from and old computer moniter sitting on a thin wooden desk, loud static coming from the speakers. As I walk closer to the desk I hear voices from all over getting louder and louder with each step. My vision getting cloudy and blurry, black spots slowly covering my vision as I step closer and closer. Then, I wake up.
This has been a recurring nightmare of mine since I was little. Every 6 years I get it and its always clearer, with more detail. I havent had one since I was thirteen or so and I'm not sure when or if I'll have it again.
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okay i return for a plea for advice
so like I said last time, me and Joseph are dating, so naturally we spend quite a bit of time on the phone together. We're not even always talking, sometimes it's just us doing our thing but we're just on the phone while we do that. i dunno, it's really nice just cause i feel like i get alone time without being completely alone
anyways, my mom is the only one out of my parents who knows about Joseph because my dad would lose his shit. and my dad has hit me for more minor reasons before so i'm not too excited to tell him yet
but my mom has a problem with me being with Joseph. for some reason she always tells me to get off the phone with him even though i'm still on top of everything. my grades are doing fine, i'm getting my work done, and i'm still spending the same amount of time with my family and other friends as before. and my mom knows that sex is just something i don't want because i'd rather not risk getting pregnant at 17 and i don't trust him enough to have sex with him
but for some reason she got really upset. like last night she was crying and i asked her what was wrong and she told me that she wakes up in the middle of the night terrified that I'm still talking to Joseph (which i'm not, i go to sleep at 11 so i stop talking to him around then). i asked her why she has a problem with me and Joseph and she straight up told me that there's no reason behind why she's so stressed
so now i'm in this weird predicament where my mom wants me to spend less time with my bf than i already do (we barely get to see each other at school cause we have really different schedules so the phone is kinda the only time i can spend time with him since neither of us can drive) but i don't want to spend less time with him. i like spending time with Joseph but i've always made sure that i don't drift apart from other people in spending time with him. i completely disagree with what my mother wants from me but i also don't want to see her cry like that again, it completely broke me
and now i feel bad cause i feel like i'm the reason that she's so stressed and i don't know what to do
sorry about this being so long lol i dont know where all of this came from <3
also ily <33
One, I completely understand why you don't want to tell your dad. It is not okay or normal for him to be doing that, but you're a smart girl, so I think you already know that. Situations like that come with a lot of feelings, and a lot of complications, and that is something I can understand. It's better to keep your relationship a secret until you have a soft place to land than risk telling him now. Think about your safety first and foremost. If you can tell someone, I would recommend you do, but I am aware that's not an option for everyone.
As for your mother, there is clearly something she's not telling you. People don't cry, worried about your boyfriend for no reason. Does she maybe know something about Joseph's behaviour that you don't? I don't know what your mother is like, so please excuse me if I'm not correct about this: But consider your wording. She told you she woke up in the middle of the night because she was scared, do you know if it's true? Do you reckon that maybe she's doing this to make you feel bad? Or have you considered she's jealous of Joseph? Maybe your mother is worried about you getting pregnant or married or having sex young. I'm not sure, only she knows.
Honestly, it sounds like you're keeping your priorities, you're not letting your boyfriend take over your entire life, and you're being smart about things. But it seems like some things need to develop before you realise what's really happening.
All I can suggest is try to keep talking about it to your mum. Did she behave this way with your ex? This is very curious behaviour, and the only way you're going to find out is if you hope she tells you the truth. For now, I wouldn't recommend breaking up with Joseph, at least until you find out what's up with your mother. I wouldn't recommend keeping this from him, either. I'm not saying trust him because you absolutely should not be trusting someone you only just started going out with, but be honest with him. Tell him your mother doesn't approve, and he has to respect that.
Until things unravel, there's not much you can do but not get involved in the theatrics.
Ilysm come to me for anything. I can't guarantee I'll know the answer, but I can try.
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gloriafc · 4 years
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Amazing Wife
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Jack never expected to let anyone close to his heart, until he met you. You had it the instant he laid his eyes on you.
You're a surgeon, a prodigy attending. You're friends with Miranda and Ben, when she was grumbling under her breath you asked her what was wrong, "Ben forgot to grab his lunch, so now I have to cancel my meeting to take it to him." "I can take it. My shift is almost over. I'm just finishing my paperwork."
You walked into the firehouse and Jack instantly walked over towards you with his charm on. "Can I help you with something?" "I'm just looking for Ben. He forgot his lunch." As soon as you finish your sentence Ben rounds the corner, "Prodigy! What brings you here?" You quickly toss the lunch box to him, "You stressing your wife out." Jack watches the two of you interact a little jealous of Ben for the moment. He instantly perks up when he hears Ben offer you a tour of the place, "Alright. I'll bite, only if theres coffee involved."
When you get to the end of the tour Ben shows you the kitchen where almost everyone is waiting for the girl they noticed instantly caught Jack's attention. They attempt to get to know you, not expecting you to be a super human. "Why does Ben call you prodigy?" "I sort of am. I specialize in multiple areas of surgery. Fetal, peds, gynecology, neuro, and plastics."
It takes Jack a few weeks of begging to get Ben to invite to one of their outings after work. Ben gets Miranda to agree to bring you drinking with everyone.
That night Jack manages to get your number, Ben eventually telling him he couldve just asked him for her number, "But what's the fun in that without the chase."
After a few months you begin dating. And Jack doesnt know how to explain it, but dating you is different than all the other woman hes dated before you. Eventually he figures it's because you're way out of his league, but soon realizes it's because you are different from ever single woman hes dated.
He can see how other men look at you, you're young and successful, and you're hot, what couldn't they want? And normally he'd get jealous but he trusts you with his life. The times he does get jealous or you look like you're getting uncomfortable he'll grab you by your hip and pull you close and he'll refuse to let you go for the rest of the night.
After a few years you get married and he finally knows what it's like to have a family of his own, even if it's just the two of you. You manage to talk him into considering getting a cat. And as much as he hates the idea, and hates how much the cat takes up all of your attention he'd get you another one if you asked.
After being married for two years you find out you're pregnant and at first Jack doesnt know how to feel, he doesnt want to end up like the parents hes never met. But you eventually ease him into the idea and then he couldn't be happier especially when you start to show. He's slightly upset he can't lay his head on your stomach as you watch tv anymore, but he's settled for drawing random shapes on your belly and watching the random movements from your child.
Jack is amazed when hes able to feel the baby kick. He goes as far as feeling it at least once a day minimum, if his hands could permanently stayon your stomach they would.
One day the two of you go separate ways, he heads off to work as you take advantage of your day off and decide to run some errands.
When he gets a call hes talking to Dean about random things like always. When they show up at the scene they get the rundown about the scene. "Three car accident, the last cars brakes failed as they were going down the hill. It rammed into the back of a parked car, that pushed it forward. There was a person walking between the second car and the one in front of it, squishing them." Jack looks at the scene and instantly recognizes your car as the one squished in the middle. Dean does as well and instantly tries to hold Jack back, "Jack you need to calm down." "CALM DOWN! THAT'S MY WIFE AND MY CHILD!" "Hey I get that. But the call says only one person was injured besides the driver." Jack freezes seeing you pop up on the side and start looking at the person stuck between the cars.
Before you realize what's happening you're trapped in two arms, and after a few seconds you realize its Jack from his cologne. You understand immediately what he was thinking and instantly start soothing him, "We're okay. I was inside using the bathroom when it happened okay?" After a few moments Jack's back in action. You get told to stay off to the side because of any fumes that may have been released from the cars. You watch everything happen until the person starts to seize.
You quickly grab a mask and a pair of gloves before climbing over your car and climbing behind the patient. "Y/N get down." "You're pregnant." "That's not safe." "Are any of you a neuro surgeon? This person will continue to seize unless you relieve the pressure in his head, can any of you do burr holes?" When no one answers you continue, "Then I suggest you listen to the pregnant person and get me a drill."
Ben assists you, being the only person with surgical experience, as you do the burr holes. Everyone watches you in amazement as the patient slowly stops to seize as the blood build up is released. You stay behind the person, using your lap as a head rest as they start to move the car off of him. Jack makes you take his jacket when they have to bring out the saw, which gets him scolded at but he could care less, as long as he's keeping you safe. Everyone listens as you talk to the person, keeping him calm. "You two must be married." "What makes you say that?" You laugh when Ben jokes, "Their playful banter?" The guy chuckles as he mindlessly stares at the trees around him, "That's how I was when my wife was pregnant with our first child." You keep the man talking when he sucks in a breath, "How many kids do you have?" "Four. How'd you learn to do that?"
You smile at the man who's referencing to the burr holes you did. "I'm a surgeon at Grey Sloan. Neuro is one of my practices. One of the first things I learned as an intern actually." "Just one of your practices?" You let out a chuckle, "I like working with kids, so I took up pediatrics, then came fetal because why wouldn't a pediatric surgeon know how to fix a baby while it's still in the womb. Then gynecology because I might as well know how to deliver a baby. And finally plastics. Youd be surprised how many kids go through plastic surgery, especially disabled kids." The guy looks at you surprised, the fact that hes literally in a sandwich completely forgotten, "What made you decide to do all that? How'd you manage that?" You chuckle, "Grey Sloan has an amazing program and I jumped at the opportunity. It's sort of what happens when you get told you'd never be able to do something amazing. You prove people wrong and you go above and beyond." "Who told you that?" You let out a chuckle, "An ex actually. My dad wasn't too happy about that one." "What'd he do?" "My mom had to pick him up from jail for smashing every single window on the guys car."
Jack jumps in, "Her moms the one to be scared of though." You let out a laugh as the guy says, "Its always the mom. My wife would murder for our kids." You let out a laugh making the guy smile.
You ride in the ambulance, being one of the only people who'd be able to stabilize the man if he were to start seizing again, and your ride home completely totaled now. When the guy is taken away for surgery Jack bugs Miranda until she agrees to look you over, "Jack I wasnt even in the accident." "You were near it, the fumes and stress cant be good for the baby." Bailey smiles as the two of you go back and forth, "Y/N just lay on the table. You're both stubborn and we'll be here all day if no one stops you two." You give in and lay on the table as she does an ultrasound, the rest of the firehouse watch from the window in amazement as they see the baby on the small screen and they all couldn't be happier that Jack finally got his own family while they also get a niece or nephew, neither of you telling them what you're having just yet.
When the fire station has to leave Miranda is the one who offers to take you home if you're willing to wait for thirty minutes. You make dinner, Jack getting home right on time then you both continue your nights like you usually do. When it's starting to get late you find Jack looking at his laptop, eyebrows furrowed. "What's got you thinking so hard over here?" You come up behind him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and resting your chin on his right shoulder. "Cars? Really?" "We're going to have to replace the one that got totaled today." "Not one with... Military grade metal? Why dont you just look for tanks on sale?" "You think they have room for carseats?" You hit his arm at his joke making him laugh.
You end up going past your due date, so now it's just a waiting game for you both. As Jack is getting ready to go into work, knowing he can't sit still at all, especiallywhen hes so anxious to meet his kid, he finds you in the kitchen hunched over with your eyes closed and face twisted in pain. He immediately starts to rush over but almost slips, he sees the puddle of water on the ground and looks around confused. When he sees the wet spot on your pants it hits him. "When did your water break? We need to get you to the hospital now." You let out a groan when he tries to help you stand up straight, "When you started coming down the stairs."
Jack helps you to the car, before starting to speed his way to the hospital. He calls Sullivan on the way there, "I wont be there today. Y/Ns water broke.... shit. I forgot the hospital bag." You smile in your seat and between breaths say, "It's fine. There's. One in. My locker. Bailey has one. In her. Office. Too."
Jo and Meredith are the ones to see you enter the hospital, both immediately knowing what's happening, "Jo page Carina and get the hospital bag from her locker. I'll take her to the delivery floor."
You're in labor for most of the day, your friends stop by through the day to check on you and give their congratulations. Jack is by your side the whole time, he's a nervous wreck honestly but hes managed to stay calm until you have to start pushing. By dinner time you've welcomed a baby boy, who has very healthy lungs. Your room is filled with balloons from your friends, as you both sit watching the sleeping boy.
Before the night can end you look at the doorway where the firehouse is standing with even more balloons, along with flowers and what smells like stew. "Hey." Dean is the first to push into the room, he quickly hands you the tupperware of stew before turning to his best friend, "Where is my nephew?"
Everyone gives their congratulations as your son is passed around, "What's his name?" Jack immediately says, "Jack jr." You simply roll your eyes and shake your head before looking at the boy who's now in your arms, "Its Jaxon. With an x. Cant let Jack's ego get too big now."
When everyone is gone and it's just your small family in the room you happily lay next to Jack, now able to press your face into his neck without a giant belly in the way. As you're falling asleep you hear Jack say, "Did we really have a baby today?" You smile and kiss his neck, "We became parents today. You became a dad." You chuckle when you hear Jack huff, "That's going to take some time to get used to." "You'll be fine. We have eighteen years to get it right."
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skullkid1410 · 3 years
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They saw this huge villa standing still on the middle of the blizzard. Smoke coming out of the chimney, the promise of a warm and cozy place to stay.
"Its late and they must be asleep. If they dont let us in, I'll find a way to break in and maybe we can hide ourselves in the basement"
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"Here's the plan Pax. Stay behind me. I'll knock on the door. If nobody answers, we'll check for opened windows around it".
He climbed the steps to the porch and started knocking on the door, multiple times
"I'm coming, i'm coming! Are you guys thieves or activists? Cause I said a thousand times, I WON'T BE CHANGING MY WORD ABOUT THE COASTLINE DEVELOPMENT PROGRAM, this town need the money godamnit. ARE YOU THIEVES OR ACTIVISTS? If not, come inside. If you are, go back to where you came! I've got a deadly dog inside, starving for human flesh" - Answered a distant voice coming from inside the house
Pax was nervous about the whole situation, and the memories of all the psycho horror movies Brodie forced him to watch came to his head. Nothing good happens on situations like this.
"Brodie this guy must be cuckoo. Who would let us inside this time of the night without even checking who it is?"
But brodie is never scared of anything. Ever.
"I know, i know. But know what? We're not in a position to be picky. Let's get inside".
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The house was HUGE, warm and cozy, besides empty. Lots of crates all around the room. Some opened, others sealed. Sounds of steps came from the top of the stairs.
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"My first night in this house and I'm already receiving guests. Odd tho, you guys are not familiar. But you don't seem to be here to steal, kill or kidnap me. Wait, are you in here for it? Nah you aren't, I'd be knocked out already if that was the case. Nice to meet you lads, I'm Darrell. Town's mayor, at your service. Now come inside, let’s seat around the fireplace.”
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"So, what brought you boys to my lonely corner of the town? Not gonna lie, I would hate if a police officer knocked on my door right now. Two teenager boys that I never saw in my life before, at this hour of the night... Which trouble have you guys started to be running away like that?"
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"Also, this is my dear friend Toby. And yep, as you can see, he's definitelly not deadly and couldn't even kill a fly. So there's no way I can make you harm, and I hope you didn't come to hurt me as well. And please don't rob me. It's been just a few months since I was elected and I still got tons of bills to pay you see"
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The mayor seemed to be a very cool guy, and Brodie really felt like he could open up his heart to him. He told him their whole life story. Like he never met his parents, and lived in the orphanage his entire life. He told him how he met Paxton, and how attached they became to each other ever since. How they lost any hopes of being adopted since they were too old for that, especially Brodie, 17 years old. Darrell listened to the whole story with atention. It was so good to talk with someone that actually cared to listen. Been ages since the boys met a guy like him.
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"You see guys, I don't think I'll ever be able to even imagine the pain you have been through. I do understand how does it feel to be an orphan, since I never met my parents too. I grew up inside a boat, and worked with fellow sailors since I was 5. I wouldn't be able to reach where I am right now, If it wasn't for people that helped me before. Maybe that's destiny knocking on my door and telling me its time to pay off...
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"I don't have a clue of what am I gonna do to help you two. But, let's do it like this: You guys stay over for the night, I'll cook you some food in the morning, and then we can talk about this whole situation. I don't promise any miracles, but I'll do the best I can".
The boys couldn't even believe their ears. The help they've been asking for such a long time, finally came. And it felt good. Tonight they are gonna sleep under a real roof. On a real comfortable bed.
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"Mr. Darrell, I don't think I'll ever be able to repay your kindness. Thank you very very much" - Said the boy with tears of happiness and relief in his eyes
"Nah, that's okay. Brodie, is it? Now follow me boys, I'll show you where youre gonna sleep. And I hope you don't mind sharing the bed. The other guest room is occupied by Toby. Oh, and please, be good lads and don't try to stab me while I'm sleeping right?"
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The boys followed Darrell through the big staircase and a long narrow corridor, until they reached a big room with a cannopy double bed and three huge windows, with views to the sea. The snow was falling down but a very blurry ray of light could be seen on the distance - the beam of the old light tower.
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"Man, this is FANCY. I don't think I ever walked inside a cool room like this. And this bed man, so freakin soft" - Said Brodie while jumping on the bed
"too bad we have to share it" - replied Paxton
"Aw, so is it? Too old to share the bed with me? I'll definitely remember that next time you wake me up screaming in the middle of the night because of nightmares you had" - Replied Brodie while tickling and messing Paxton's hair
"oh no man, that's not it. You know you are my favourite pillow. It's just that, I'm wondering how GOOD it would feel to sleep alone in such a giant bed like this... so much space you know? Way better than park benches".
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"haha I know pax my boy, don't worry. Also you are not the little guy I met anymore. Now, go have a shower and don't forget to brush your teeth. I don't wanna be awaked by your bad breath in the morning"
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"I think I got sooo used to things going wrong that, now that our chances are getting better, I can't even believe my eyes. I'm not sure what the mayor will fix to us, but if we are to start a new life, I'm sure I'll have to be stronger than ever. Not just for me but for pax".
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"He is too young, too naive, too weak for this world. His heart is too good to be broken. Gosh, I don't even like to imagine the idea of him getting hurt, or people doing bad to him. I don't want him to starve or to sleep on the floor anymore. And i'll work really hard ensure he'll get a better future. Maybe even better than mine".
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He approached pax' ears, and whispered in a really gentle tone:
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"You hear that little guy? I will do whatever I can to make up to you. Life's not being kind to us, I know. But I'll fight even harder and i'll be even stronger for the both of us. I love you too much to see you suffer like I did".
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"BRODIE BRODIE WAKE UP! ARE YOU FEELING THAT SMELL? THAT'S PANCAKES!! AND IT'S NOT EVEN CHRISTMAS YET!"
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"HOLY CRAP MAN! QUICKLY, CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES! oh boy, I'm gonna eat a WHOOOOOOOLE stack of them".
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"Good morning boys! You won't believe what i heard today while grocery shopping on the town. Word is, two boys - a short brunette one and the other taller and ginger haired, ordered two large meals on the boardwalk diner last night, and sneaked out the damn place without paying their bill! Too good for them that I paid the bill and explained the waitress that my nephews are in town visiting their old uncle and, since I am the mayor, they tought it was okay to do it. Funny story isn't it? Now, let's talk business. Sit down, I cooked some pancakes".
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"So, I've been thinking about our talk last night, and I think I know a way to help both you and me. I won't call the cops nor the counselors cause I do feel your story and also, that would be bad business for me. Lot's to explain. And I can't take you both under my roof, cause I'm a loner you know? Toby is my only friend and I'd rather things to stay that way. Also, I'd suck as a parent. Too much attachment involved, not for me"
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"So here's the deal. There's a very old house in the pier. Very old. It was the death place of Brindleton bay's founder. And people won't allow me to demolish it, folks say it's important to preserve the story of the town. Bullshit if you ask me. But, since the house is useless cause i'm already spending a lot of cash with the coastline development project and can't spare a single simoleon to restore it, I'll leave the keys to you. That's it. You guys can stay there. And as long as you don't give me ANY REASONS to evict you, I won't. Simple as that. Oh and of course, to any matter of effects, you are my nephews now and you'll be frequenting the school. Cause if you DO give me headaches, that's one less problem to discuss with the guardianship counselors. Got it?"
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"thank you so freakin much Mr. Darrell. You are the best thing to ever happen in our lives" - Said Brodie, while giving the old man a very strong hug
"Nah, that's okay. But listen to me boys. No mischief. I already paid my debts with destiny twice - by letting you stay and by fixing you this house. Don't give me a reason to regret it. I won't be able to help you anymore if you do. And yes, I'll be checking up on you two. Good grades on the school, don't want folks to think my nephews are stupid"
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"Hurry Paxton! It will be school time in just a couple of hours! And I'd love to freshen up before we have to leave!"
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The boys runned like they never did in their lifes, crossed the whole city in less than an hour. Their hearts pounding with excitement. A house, to call their own, they couldn't believe it. Too good to be truth.
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"Here we are. The only abandoned house of the pier. That's got to be the one".
A big wooden house could be seen in the distance, with old planks covering the windows and dead bushes in the front. As they approached it, they noticed the front porch covered by old letters and overdue bills. In other circunstances, the house would scare the shit out of the boys. But in this day and time, it felt like the most beautiful place they've ever put their eyes on".
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"Pax quick give me the keys. Oh never mind, the door is unlocked"
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A hot and moldy breath blew from inside the dusty rooms straight to their noses, making the boys sneeze. The house was old, dark and dirty, with a very eery aura to it. But it was home. Their home. With many rooms to explore and a lot of work to do. , making the boys sneeze. The house was old, dark and dirty, with a very eery aura to it. But it was home. Their home. With many rooms to explore and a lot of work to do.
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"I am so freakin happy I think I might have a heart attack. CANT BELIEVE IT BRODIE WE DID IT! WE FOUND OURSELVES A PLACE".
With tears falling from his eyes and a lot of relief inside his chest, Pax gave Brodie a long and strong hug. Brodie on the other hand, was holding his tears to the maximum. He didn't want Pax to see him cry.
And with a kiss on his forehead, he dried pax's tears with his fingers
"Come on dude, let's check the place out".
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"Hey brodie, look at those muddy paws on the floor... d, do, d.. do you think there's a stray dog around?"
"Chill out pax. Those paws seem to be old. And if we do find a dog in here, we can easily scare him away. Stay inside and look around the house, I'll check the backyard. Oh and if you find the toillet, please brush your teeth. Your breath smells like fart right now, you're gonna scare your classmates".
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Brodie, stepped out of the house and just couldn't believe his eyes
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"Hello little guy! Watcha doing on this place alone? Lost your mom? Are you an outcast like us?"
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"Aaaaw, you couldn't even hurt a fly now, could ya? Sooo adorable. Say what, we are adopting you. Wanna live with us? Good boy, good boy, I like you already. Hey pax, check it out"
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"Jesus christ man, that's a wolf cub. Do you really think it is a good idea? I mean, he'll get older.. and hungrier"
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"Nah pax, that's okay. We'll train him and teach him to eat only dog food. If we are to live in this house by ourselves, we need a bodyguard to protect us. Right wolfie? That's it my boy, I'm gonna call you Wolfie. Do you know to howl Wolfie? Do it after me - aawoooh!”
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foxtophat · 3 years
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i dont have much to say about this one!!! it’s just a story about carmina’s tenth birthday, and how the town of fall’s end is coping a decade after the collapse.  uhhh there are some random children in it?  bean is there! and of course john shows up, too, because that’s KIND OF THE POINT of mercyverse lol
technically there’s a story that comes before this, but i don’t have the vibe yet for it so i haven’t worked on it in a while. instead, i’ll probably just keep moving forward and throw up that one if the rest of the plot becomes at all relevant to the real main storyline.  uhhh the next one will take place in the spring of 2029 and we’re going to start getting into some fun stuff that i’ve planned out for a while!!!
until then, uh, the usual: love you, please like/share/reblog/kudos/comment, whatever you feel good about doing, because i sure do love to share my universe with other people!  hope you’re doing well and hopefully i’ll see you with another fic in a few weeks!
also as usual: the story text is below the cut for those of you who wanna stay on tumblr :)
It's Carmina's tenth birthday, and there's a party in town. The two things aren't exactly related, sure, but Carmina's used to sharing her birthday with the Collapse, and she's not about to turn down a bunch of free food. How can she not go to a real Hope County barbecue after her parents had hyped the experience up so much in the bunker? She'd hoped that her ninth birthday would have gotten a similar treatment, but the town just didn't have the food or people for it at the time. Her parents had told her that next year would be better; Carmina does her best to keep her imagination from blowing the whole thing out of proportion.
They leave a little bit after breakfast. Since John is coming along, mom has no excuse not to let Carmina ride in the back with him. He's not excited to be heading into town, but then again, the town isn't usually excited to see him, either. And considering what day it is, they're likely to be extra rude to him. Carmina doesn't get it, honestly, but she's just glad that she can ride in back without her mom grabbing onto her at every pothole and bump in the road.
The first surprise of the day comes as her dad parks just past the church, giving her a chance to stand up and look out over the town. She hasn't been here in a while, and so she's surprised to see that they've cleared out a lot of the dirt lot behind the usable buildings — and there are a lot of people hanging out there. Carmina's never seen so many people at once — she loses count around twenty and can easily guess double that. It's enough to rattle her nerves for just a second, before she catches the looks on her mom and dads' faces and realizes that this is probably a good thing. Sure, John looks like he wants to hop back in the truck and go home, but he always looks like that around strangers. Her parents, on the other hand, actually seem happy for once, and that's what matters to Carmina.
The second surprise is just how many of the adults seem to know her. Her parents move slowly through the mingling crowd, usually coming up with names for faces before Carmina's even looked at the strangers who call her by name. She gets lots of comments like, "I remember when your parents were expecting you!" and "I was wondering how the Rye's little girl turned out!" and even a few, "Glad to see you made it," comments that make her parents side-eye each other pretty fiercely. She doesn't need to introduce herself to anyone, not even people who her parents don't know so well — it's like everybody's always known her, and her family. It's kind of cool — but also kind of weird. Pastor Jerome always said that their family was a pillar in the community, but this is first-person evidence, right here in front of her.
Plenty of the adults wish her a happy birthday, too, but she knows their hearts aren't in it. It's one of the big drawbacks to sharing her birthday with the end of the world — nobody asks how old she is, nobody wants to know what she did on previous birthdays, and all of them have to make some kind of depressing comment. Like trying to get her to relate to birthdays before the Collapse: all they want to do is tell her about all the things she could be doing, or would be doing, if only the world hadn't ended. They want to share their birthdays from the past, but Carmina's never been to the movies, she doesn't know who Disney is, and she has no idea why they'd need a cake and candles for it all. Somebody tells her she should be graduating to the fourth grade, and she just stares back because what even is the fourth grade? What does that mean?
They mean well, so Carmina does her best not to upset anybody, but she knows that nobody appreciates how little she cares about life before the Collapse.
At least there are other kids in town today. Her mom had been telling her about some of them — kids who don't have families, who the town looks after — but Carmina's only ever met one of them, and that had been only for a few minutes. But Carmina can see them hanging out in the field, and as soon as her mom lets her, she heads right out to them. It's about time that she met people her age — she's getting tired of only ever talking to old people.
Of course, meeting strangers is still difficult for her, but she's saved from too much embarrassment as she recognizes the chicken brothers hanging out in the small group. She can't remember which one is Tom and which one is Matt, but they seemed really nice when they helped her pick out her chickens. She also recognizes the oldest boy in the group, although she can't remember his name at all. She's never seen the others before — two teenage girls, another boy her age, and a kid a couple years younger than her — but hopefully she won't make a total fool of herself.
"Hi," she says as she approaches, waving.
"Hey, Carmina," Matt-or-Tom says, stepping aside to make room for her in their makeshift circle. "I thought we would see you today."
"Yep," Carmina smiles, "Here I am!" She sees the teenagers' curious looks and tells them with little fanfare, "Today's my birthday."
"Oh," the oldest boy says. "That sucks."
One of the girls elbows him. "Don't be mean," she says.
"No, he's right," Carmina says. "It does suck."
"Well, happy birthday anyway. How old are you now?"
"Ten."
"Wow," the girl says. She looks at the boy, then back to Carmina, and says sympathetically, "You weren't kidding. That's rough."
Giggling with relief, Carmina waves once more. "It's okay. My name's Carmina, by the way. It's nice to meet you."
Being polite works like a charm, and the oldest boy is quick to go around with introductions. "Well, I'm Jason — this is Caroline, and this is Flower. The little kid there —"
"Hey!"
"— Is Bean, and... Sorry, man, what did you say your name was again?"
The other ten-year-old looking boy frowns and shoves his hands deeper into his pockets. "Luke," he says.
"Okay, Luke. And you know Tom and Matt."
"We were talking about the bison out in the field," Tom-or-Matt says. He points in the direction of home and asks, "Did you guys see the big one when you were coming into town?"
"The one that's all white?" Carmina asks, "With the big scar over its hump? We see that one all the time when we come out this way —"
"No, no," the other brother says, "Jason says there's a bigger one."
"I told you guys," Jason says, "I only saw it once, and it was late at night while I was up in the crow's nest. I don't think it comes out during the day."
Carmina frowns. "What big one? What do you mean?"
"Oh, boy," Caroline sighs, "Don't listen to him, Carmina, he's full of shit."
"Hey, language," Flower laughs.
"Look, I was pretty far away, but I had the sniper rifle and I wasn't sleeping on the job. Uh, so..." He points out over the field, towards a squat set of huts surrounding a tall, busted silo that's still standing. The view from up there must be great. "Jerome has me sit up in that tower sometimes, you know, to practice. So I was up there, looking around, and it was probably midnight or so... and I just see this glow out in the field. I think it's a fire, right? Maybe somebody made a camp out there on their way to town or something. So I look out through the scope — and it was a bison."
"A glowing bison?" Carmina asks skeptically.
"Yeah. Like, a monster bison. It was all dark and scaly looking, except for the way its belly glowed. I thought about shooting it, but..."
Caroline laughs. "He got scared. Or it wasn't real, and he's making it all up."
"I wasn't scared, and I'm not making it up! It's not like it could've hurt me up in the nest. It... just didn't feel right. You know, it was just grazing with the rest of the herd. And it moved off over the hill before I could change my mind or call anybody up to confirm it."
"Sure, Jason."
"I'm serious," Jason insists, "I really saw it, okay? I told Jerome about it and everything." He frowns at the dirt. "He said it might've been mutated after the bombs. Then he told me not to go looking for it."
"He's right," Flower says. "Even regular bison are pretty dangerous." She smiles. "That's why I like deer — they won't hurt you. If you sit really still, sometimes they'll even come up and lick your face."
"Oh," Carmina says. "I usually just shoot them. They eat all our vegetables otherwise."
"Yeah," Flower sighs, "Sometimes I do, too. But they're also nice to watch."
Tom-or-Matt looks to his brother. "I wonder if that's what we see outside at night?"
"What, deer?"
"No, dumbass." He turns to the group and explains, "Sometimes, when it's real late and I gotta use the bathroom, I'll see something glowing out in the woods. Dad's cut back a lot of space so it never gets very close, but... maybe it's another mutated animal."
"At least you'll see it coming when it tries to attack you," Carmina suggests.
"Gee, thanks."
Carmina knows he's probably teasing, but she still feels guilty for being so blunt about it. The least she can do is try to reassure him. "Well... most animals don't attack near houses, I don't think. When we first came out of the bunker, there were wild dogs and wolves that would watch us, and my dad was real worried about them — but now they mostly stay away from the property. I think it's because of the fence. You guys have a fence, right?"
"Yeah, plus a butt-load of chickens that freak out over anything out of the ordinary." Matt-or-Tom grins at her and asks, "Don't they wake you up with every little thing?"
Carmina briefly considers mentioning John being attacked, then decides against it. She also doesn't want to tell them that the chickens live mostly indoors at night now — the last thing she wants to do is kick off a whole big thing about the cult on her dang birthday! It's already hard enough pretending to care about them around her parents; she's not sure she could even force herself to bother here. And if she's not careful, the kids in town might start to think about her and her family the same way all the adults do.
"They're pretty docile, actually," she says, "And we only really see deer around our place... It's not like they eat chickens."
"Well.... maybe there's a mutant deer out there that wants to eat you," Tom-or-Matt teases.
Carmina rolls her eyes. "I'll shoot it before it gets past the hangar," she replies.
Of course, her dismissive confidence leads to a sprawling discussion on who might be the best shot out of the group. Carmina does her best to defend her skills, considering she can't prove any of it right now, but all three teens insist they're dead-eyes, and even Bean says he's "getting pretty good at the aiming part." On top of that, the kids from the town have gotten pointers from Aunt Grace herself, which means they might actually be better shots than Carmina expects.
"Maybe we should have a competition," Caroline suggests. "I bet Pastor Jerome and Aunt Grace would be okay with it."
"Sure," Jason laughs, "But you know they'd make us spend forty minutes disassembling and cleaning our rifles before and after. Like I don't know what I'm doing — I'm almost fifteen!"
"Have you guys been to Aunt Grace's?" Carmina asks. "She has a shooting range there."
"Maybe she'd let us use it!"
"I've never been to a real shooting range," Bean says.
"It's not a real shooting range," Jason points out, "Those all got blown up. Do you even know how to use a gun, Bean?"
"I just said I do! My dad taught me! I... just don't like the loud noises it makes."
Matt-or-Tom boasts, "We learned to shoot in our bunker. Mom collected Airsoft guns — they don't use bullets, so they can't kill you."
"What's the point of that?"
"I dunno, I guess practicing underground?"
Tom-or-Matt laughs. "Dad was convinced the Peggies were gonna get us, so he wanted us to know how to shoot."
The quiet kid, Luke, finally speaks up. "Lucky," he mutters, "Easier to learn underground, I bet."
"What about you?" Carmina asks. She tries not to cringe away when he stares back at her like he didn't expect anyone to hear him. Maybe he doesn't like people talking to him? "Um... my mom and dad had a bunch of gun magazines in the bunker, but I never got to shoot a real gun until we came outside. Mom and Aunt Grace have been teaching me, though, and I'm way better than my dad is."
Luke hesitates. "Kind of the same. We came up early, though. Had to."
"Me, too," Jason replies. "It was just me and my brother. I was five when we got stuck in the bunker — we went through our supplies in about three years, so we had to come back up."
"We... only stayed down until I could walk," Luke admits. "It was still really cold when we came up. And mom got real sick for a while."
"Yikes," Bean says, "That sucks!"
"Come on, bean," Jason snaps, "You don't say that."
"You just said it to her!" Bean shouts, pointing at Carmina.
"He's... right," Luke mumbles. "It sucked. It... still sucks. But things are getting better now." He looks up at them, then drops his eyes back to the dirt. "Sorry."
"Don't be," Carmina insists, "I asked first!"
"That's kind of the mood today," Caroline adds. "Don't worry. We can talk about something else."
The change in topic comes abruptly as Bean points towards the Church and asks, "Who is that with Pastor Jerome?"
Carmina doesn't need to look, but since the rest of the group does, she might as well too. John has his hat pulled low over his eyes, as usual, which makes him look suspicious, as usual. Knowing him, he probably didn't even leave the truck — just waited there for Jerome to come talk to him.
She can only hope that Tom and Matt keep their mouths shut since they're the only other kids who know what John looks like nowadays. Unfortunately for her, that hope is pretty quickly dashed.
"Oh," Matt-or-Tom says, like a jerk, "That's John, I think. Right, Carmina?"
"Wait," Jason says, "You're that Carmina?"
Carmina ducks her head. "Um... it depends, I guess?"
Flower, looking too sympathetic for Carmina's liking, tries to mediate. "He just means, well... Jerome talks about you sometimes."
"And he talks about that guy," Jason adds, pointing without any subtlety at all.
"Everyone talks about that guy," Caroline says with a sigh. She gives Carmina a sympathetic shrug as she does, as though she wishes she could stop the conversation from happening, too. That only makes Carmina worried that this isn't the first time the teenagers have sat around gossiping about John and the crazy people who decided to take him in.
"Wait," Bean gasps, way too loudly, "That's John Seed?"
"Oh my God," Matt-or-Tom sighs, "You gotta keep up with the conversation."
"Wait, what's he doing here? Why's he going into the church? I thought he wasn't supposed to come to town? I thought he was locked up!"
Carmina groans. "It's my birthday," she whines, "I don't wanna talk about John today!"
"We don't have to," Caroline says. "Guys, come on."
"I mean, he did kill a lot of people. Isn't he, like, a psychopath? Isn't it weird to live with a murderer?"
"Jason!"
Luke mutters, "I heard he used to cut off people's skin."
"That's true," Jason replies, "My brother has a huge scar from when it happened to him. Boy, I hope he doesn't see that jackass is here..."
Matt-or-Tom finally seems to realize what he's started, frowning as the conversation spirals crazily out of control. It's too late to stop it, though, and so he shuffles his feet and looks apologetically towards Carmina.
Fine. If she can't get around the subject, she's just going to have to tackle it head-on. Even if that sounds really scary. She doesn't think that these guys are going to flip out like the caravan last year did, but she's still a little worried that she might be in for a fight if she says the wrong thing about John.
"I know John used to be a bad guy," she says. "Like, really bad. My dad's got one of those scars, too. But he's not like that any more. All he does nowadays is help my parents with chores and stuff. And he's just like everybody else — he doesn't talk about what happened before the Collapse to me or anybody. So I really don't know anything more than you guys.
She probably knows less than them, honestly, but she's not about to say so and get a brutal lesson in everything John's ever done wrong.
"So he's just... different, now?" Jason asks, frowning unhappily at the church.
"I guess so," Carmina replies with a shrug. She looks over to make sure that John and Jerome are inside, just in case. "He's not... scary, or mean, or anything like that. Just quiet. Kind of... lonely, I guess. Ever since he found out his brother is alive but still crazy, he's been really beat up about it." He's also been literally beaten up over it, but now's not the time to try and make the others feel sorry for him. John would probably be irritated at the idea of a bunch of kids pitying him.
Matt-or-Tom is quick to help her out, which is nice. "She's right," he says. "The Father is still out there in the woods with all those crazies, but John's repented. Dad said he made amends with God, whatever that means. He... uh, still doesn't like us being around him, but when we helped him load the chickens in he seemed okay. Just real quiet."
"That's John, alright," Carmina sighs.
Bean looks seriously disappointed by the news. "You mean he doesn't talk about it at all?" he asks.
"No," Carmina says, snapping for good measure, "And he gets really upset when you ask about it, so don't."
"I'm not gonna go talk to him!" Bean gasps.
The idea that a kid might be scared of John is pretty funny, considering how uncomfortable he is around her, but Carmina's not about to say as much. John probably wouldn't like her sharing a weakness like that with a bunch of strangers, and she wouldn't want them using it against him later.
Flower slowly lifts her hand, looking embarrassed. "Some of the adults in town say the Bliss messed him up. Is that... true?"
Well, at least she's trying to be nice about it. "I dunno," Carmina admits. "He was super weird when he first started living with us, but that might've just been because he was stuck in his bunker for so long."
"Oh, that happened to a guy my dad knows!" Bean supplies helpfully. "Dad calls it bunker shock. Says living underground too long is bad for you when you're all alone!"
"Glad I didn't live in one long enough for that," Luke says. When everyone looks at him, he clams up for a second before continuing on. "A neighbor came up just this year. He's... real weird. I don't like him much. He still sleeps underground, hoping he'll wake up and it'll all be a dream." He scuffs his boot against the dirt, sniffing loudly. "That's what my mom says, anyway. I try not to be around when he comes by."
"He wouldn't be the first adult to be like that," Jason says. He gives the church one last look before nodding his head towards the party. "I mean, that's why we're all the way out here, instead of hanging out around the food. Right?"
"No," Bean replies, "I'm out here 'cos I can't eat another bite! I didn't know you could be this full."
Caroline laughs. "Yeah, the adults have been stockpiling for weeks, it looks like... I guess everyone was really looking forward to it — or, well, I guess that's what it is."
Flower gazes over at the gaggle of adults. Carmina recognizes her dreamy smile from the way her mom looks around the house sometimes, like she's getting a new, better look at the place.
"It feels like things are starting to look up," she says. "Maybe they can all be happier now."
"Hey, don't jinx it!" Tom-or-Matt laughs.
Bean looks around at the rest of them and for a second, Carmina is worried he's going to ask more about John and restart the whole ugly conversation. Thankfully, it looks like he's still a baby, so he's quickly distracted.
"So, what do we do now?" he asks, pushing his too-big glasses up his nose.
Carmina has never actually played with other kids before, so she doesn't have any good suggestions — especially when shooting is off-limits. Thankfully, she isn't the only one. The teenagers don't know where their soccer ball went, and Luke says he doesn't even know what soccer is. Bean says he usually plays word games by himself. When Tom-or-Matt suggests they play something called "capture the flag," it manages to make its way to the top of the list just because Jason and Caroline have both heard of it before.
Well, at least something is better than nothing. The older kids explain how capture the flag works, using Jason's shirt for their team's flag while the other kids band together around Matt-or-Tom's sweaty tank top. Carmina imagines that one of them should sit out for even teams, but the older kids seem confident that they can handle it. Too confident, in Carmina's opinion — maybe they need to be brought down a peg.
Capture the flag turns out to be more fun than Carmina had expected — and a lot harder, too. Trying to outmaneuver the older kids is tough work, but she and Tom-or-Matt figure out how to flank them pretty quick. There's nothing better than the moment when Carmina manages to dive out of the way when Jason tries to tackle her, and even if she gets dog-piled by Flower halfway back to Bean at home base, she holds Jason's shirt up for another teammate to take.
Unfortunately, the game ends without a winner as a sharp whistle pierces the air. Bean looks up and shouts, "That's my dad! I better go!"
He runs off at full tilt without so much as a goodbye, and Carmina has to squint against the setting sun to watch him go. She hadn't realized how late it had gotten.
"I should probably get going, too," Luke says, sweaty and almost smiling for once. "I want to get another plate of food before we go home."
"Ugh," Carmina sighs, "And the chickens need feeding."
"Just make John do it," Matt-or-Tom says, apparently not learning his lesson about mentioning John.
"It's supposed to be my job," she says. "And anyway, he already feeds them in the morning when I don't get up in time."
"They're gonna like him more than you," Tom-or-Matt laughs.
Jason frowns. "He feeds your chickens?"
"I mean... yeah. He does whatever we need him to." Carmina shrugs, glancing back towards the church. She hasn't seen Jerome or John leave — maybe she should go see them before she rounds up her parents? Nah, it's better to leave them alone until the very last minute.
"Just... didn't think you'd let him near livestock, that's all."
"What's he gonna do, poison the eggs?" Carmina huffs. "He's good with them. I think he likes them 'cos they aren't judgey."
Caroline frowns, which tells Carmina she might've been a little rude. But Jason's been rude about John all day, so she's not going to feel sorry about it!
"Well, I guess if your parents trust him..."
"Sure they do," Carmina replies, even if that's not... exactly right. She knows her parents trust John enough to help around the house, but she thinks they only want to trust him with all the other stuff.
"I really better go," she says, pointing towards town.
"Sure," Flower says. "It was nice to meet you, Carmina."
Carmina gives them her best grin, relieved when it's returned from the others. Jason even waves like there's no hard feelings. "It was nice meeting you guys," she says.
"Happy birthday again!" Matt-or-Tom says, "And be careful!"
"Yeah," his brother laughs, "Wouldn't want to have a glowing deer attack you in the outhouse tonight!"
Carmina laughs away the dumb attempt to scare her, waving goodbye before turning to head for the party. Halfway there, she glances over her shoulder and sees the group turned back to one-another in conversation. None of them are looking back, but as she continues on, she's chased by an unfamiliar sense of discomfort. She can't help but wonder if they're still talking about John in the church.... If they're talking about her.
At least she can distract herself while looking for her parents. There are plenty of adults who say hello; some of them even point her helpfully towards her mom's last known location, or towards the table with the cookies her dad really liked. Some of them check in to make sure her birthday has been going well, too, which is nice of them, but a lot of adults are pretty drunk and deep in their own conversations.
She eventually finds her mom and dad standing around a grill with Marjorie, one of the adults in charge around town. Carmina's met her a couple of times. She's nice, but she can talk a lot. There's no telling how long they've been talking for, and if Carmina doesn't interrupt, who knows when they'll finish. While she could probably grab some food for the road, first she has to make sure that they're actually going to be leaving sometime before the next Collapse.
Besides, it looks like her dad's already got a box of leftovers in his hands. If Carmina wants to eat, she's going to have to interrupt.
"Hey dad," she says as she comes up to them, "The chickens are going to need dinner soon."
Her dad grins at her before handing over the squat, open cardboard box. There's chicken, ribs, corn and roasted potatoes, and even a handful of cookies and flatbread; it takes everything in Carmina's power not to make a desperate grab for more food. She doesn't have to worry about going hungry tonight, so there's no need to eat everything put in front of her.
"Here," he tells her, "You take this, alright? My arms are gettin' tired."
Yeah, right. As soon as she takes the box, he uses one of those tired arms to grab one of the ribs. When Carmina frowns suspiciously at him, her dad only shrugs.
"I coughed on it."
"Uh-huh..."
Laughing, her mom reaches out to give Marjorie a hug. It might've run a little long, but her mom obviously enjoyed the talk. "We'll be back in a week or two with the tractor parts," she says. "You're going to get the fields back in shape in no time."
"Already got a good start," Marjorie replies. She shoots Carmina a warm smile. "Happy birthday, by the way! Don't think I got to see you much. Hope those kids weren't giving you a hard time."
"No," Carmina replies., "They're all really nice. We want to practice shooting together, maybe have a contest. Jason said he's better than anybody else."
"I bet you're gonna give him a run for his money!" Marjorie laughs. "Well, the better a shot you are, the better off you'll be. You won't see anybody here stop you kids."
"Yeah, but tonight, I have to feed the chickens," Carmina says, just in case her parents need another chance to get out of here.
"We've got a few other people to say goodbye to," her mom tells her. "Why don't you take the food back to the truck? We'll meet you there."
"Should I get John, too?"
As soon as she asks, Carmina decides she probably shouldn't have brought it up. Too late, though; by the look on Marjorie's face, there's no way to pretend she didn't hear it.
Her dad shrugs. "Probably oughta," he tells her, as if he doesn't see Marjorie staring at them like she is.
Marjorie definitely doesn't like that, judging by the way she squints, but she doesn't say anything about it. "Well, I hope you had a decent enough birthday for once," she says, "Hopefully we'll be having a party around this time every year from now on."
"That would be nice," mom says.
"Just you wait, we're gonna turn this ship around one way or another." Marjorie gestures with her hands and says, "Alright, you better go, before those chickens of yours eat each other."
Carmina frowns. "They don't do that, do they?"
"Uh, let's get moving," her dad says. "See you soon, Marg."
"Take care!"
Her mom and dad have to stop a few more times to say goodbye to people Carmina doesn't know, but she pushes on without them and nobody stops her for more than a quick birthday greeting. She catches sight of Luke packing up some food with his parents, but he's too distracted to notice her. At least she isn't the only one carrying a box of leftovers out of here; it would feel selfish of her if they weren't sending leftovers home with other people.
Her parents haven't caught up with her by the time she reaches the truck, and John is nowhere to be seen. She figures he's probably still in the church — he and Pastor Jerome always take forever when they're talking. They'll probably be there until dad goes in and breaks them up.
Eating by herself in the back of the truck doesn't feel right, especially not within walking distance of the church. Leaving the food tucked in the corner by the cab, Carmina heads for the building herself. Even if nobody was in there, she'd probably go wander inside for a few minutes; it's a comforting, quiet place in the dry, dusty town. But right now, she's pretty sure John is hanging around inside, and he probably hasn't eaten anything all day, either. She should at least let him have first pick.
She knows a lot of the adults dislike the church, but Carmina personally enjoys how its sun-bleached siding stands out against the sky. Besides the house, the church is one of the few places Carmina wishes she could have seen in one piece. She's seen old, faded pictures from ancient newspaper clippings, but it's just not the same.
The doors are open wide enough for Carmina to slip in without a sound. The air inside is cool, almost chilly, and it smells like dirt and grass. From the entrance, there's only a narrow gap keeping Jerome and John out of sight. She doesn't mean to hide, but she doesn't want to interrupt Jerome mid-sentence...
It's too late, she's eavesdropping.
"It might not be much, but it's something," Jerome's saying. "He even stayed a few nights, when the wind got bad and brought too much pollen over the river."
"It would be better for everyone if he stayed here permanently," John replies. "Wallace went further down the path than the rest of them, and they clearly don't know what they're doing."
"They're trying, John. And we don't have a say in the matter. It's got to be his choice. Remember?"
John grunts, clearly annoyed. Carmina doesn't think she's ever heard him say so much before. Does he talk to her mom and dad this much? Is he really only quiet around her?
"I don't like it," John says.
"For what it's worth, neither do I. But Sharky's taking things seriously — they all are. You're going to have to trust them."
"Trust isn't exactly one of my virtues," John grumpily admits.
Jerome chuckles. "You just need practice."
Well, Carmina definitely feels guilty now. She had only been waiting for an opening, but if she waits any longer, she's really going to be breaking John's trust. Pastor Jerome's, too, for that matter.
Thinking on her toes, Carmina pushes on the already open door as though she's just showing up. Of course, the hinges squeal in protest as soon as she does, so she stops before she breaks something.
"Are you guys still in here?" she calls. She's pretty convincing about it, in her opinion.
"Yes, Carmina," Jerome responds, apparently none-the-wiser, "We're here."
John regards her neutrally as she steps into view, but he's always wearing his poker face around her. She needs to get better at reading it.
"I guess it's time to go, then," he says.
"Yeah. Um — I mean, I can meet you back at the truck. Mom and dad will be here soon..."
Jerome speaks up before John can get the chance. "No, you two go on. I think we were just about done ourselves, and I'd like to sit here for a little while, before it gets too dark." He and John shake hands, and then he comes over to give Carmina a hug. "Happy birthday," he tells her. "You be good for another year, alright?"
"I'll try," she says.
"That'a girl," Jerome laughs. "Keep an eye on her, John."
Sometimes, it seems like Jerome is the only adult in Hope County that doesn't think John is a bad influence on her. Even her mom and dad, who are basically the only people on John's side, get uncomfortable if she tries to talk to him too much. But Jerome is a special case. He used to be weird about anything John-related, but nowadays? Honestly, Carmina's pretty sure he's John's only friend at this point — well, okay, other than mom and dad, but they don't count.
John waits until they've left the church to speak. He's chilly and dismissive, as usual.
"How long were you listening for?"
"I wasn't," Carmina begins — but she can't lie to him. Lying only ever makes things worse. So she corrects herself reluctantly and admits, "It was only a minute. I didn't mean to... it just sort of happened."
"Hm."
Normally, Carmina can't get a read on John's poker face, but... huh. She can't help but feel like she might've... hurt his feelings? She definitely wasn't being trustworthy, that's for sure. And now he's trying to casually out-pace her on the walk back to the truck.
"I'm sorry for eavesdropping," she says, picking up her pace to match his. "I promise, I won't do it again."
John glares at her, but she's pretty sure he's not angry. Maybe just confused? She's not sure, he's never looked at her longer than two seconds before.
"I... appreciate it," he replies instead, which makes it the first time he's ever accepted an apology of hers. Usually, he just tells her not to worry about it.
Carmina grins at him, but he's already looked away, so of course he doesn't see it. Instead, he looks to the field, where the three teens from town are still hanging out. Carmina can't tell if they're looking this way or not. She sure hopes they aren't; John would know immediately that they gossiped about him, and she's already messed up with him once today.
"Have you ever played capture the flag?" she asks, hoping to distract him. "The chicken brothers taught us the rules but I think they maybe made some of it up."
John cracks a small smile. Well, Carmina will pretend it's one, anyway.
"The chicken brothers," he repeats.
"You know, Tommy and Matt."
"Do they know that's what you call them?"
"I mean, I've never said it to their faces..."
"That's probably smart."
They reach the truck, which marks the invisible barrier that keeps John out of town. Of course, mom and dad still aren't here. If Carmina climbed up on top of the truck, she might be able to spot them, but it's not like she could get their attention from this far away. So, she's going to have to kill time until they get back.
"Did you eat?" she asks, climbing up into the truck bed.
"I'm fine, Carmina," John replies, a little wearily. Like she's not the first person to bug him about it today — or, maybe like he lacks energy from not eating all day.
She rolls her eyes, but John doesn't see. "Uh-huh." She sits down, pulling the box of food into her lap as she leans back against the cab. "Dad was surprised that there were cookies. Um, not exactly the same, I guess? But still really good." She's not going to give him a chance to turn it down, grabbing one and shoving it in his direction. "Here, try one!"
John, leaning against the side of the truck like he is, is clearly more interested in looking for her parents than humoring her. He definitely looks like he wants to say no. But to her surprise, he actually takes the offered food. It would be weird to stare at him while he eats, so she goes back to debating between a chicken leg or one of the last ribs in the box.
"Not bad," John comments, which is like, crazy, because Carmina definitely isn't goading him into talking.
"They're kind of crumbly," Carmina says, "I dunno if that's what it's supposed to be like. But all the food is really good." She counts the chicken legs out again, just to make sure there's one for each of them. "Um... hey, John? Uh... do chickens eat each other?"
John frowns, chewing the question over with the rest of the cookie. He swallows, then says, "Most animals cannibalize their own if they're desperate enough."
"Oh."
"They would need to be left alone for a lot longer than a few hours," he points out. "Or they would have to be sick. It's more likely a dog will get them before they turn on each other."
Well, at least Carmina can trust John to tell her the truth, even if it's probably not the way her parents would want him to do it. She doesn't even mind him being so blunt about it, either; she's just surprised he's willing to talk to her. She can't help but wonder if this is going to be a normal thing, now that she's ten — is he going to stop being so weird around her? Or is this just a special treat, because of the day? She sure hopes not. It'd be a lot less awkward if John didn't act so scared of her all the time.
Her parents finally join them at the truck. Her mom wrinkles her nose at Carmina sitting in the back again, but she doesn't say anything. Her dad doesn't seem to mind; once he spots the box in Carmina's lap, he reaches over to grab one of the shortbread cookies for himself.
"Sorry about that," he says, "We got held up a couple times. John, you try one of these yet?"
"I did."
"Crazy having home-baked goods again, right?" Her dad waggles the cookie in John's face; John rolls his eyes and circles back around to the tailgate, climbing up into the bed. "Here, Carmina, give me that box so the food doesn't get too cold on the way home."
"You're just gonna eat everything," Carmina objects, handing over the box anyway.
"Nah, come on. Here, you guys grab something for the ride home." He nudges Carmina's shoulder with the box. "You probably worked up an appetite bullying all the older kids out there — and I bet you didn't eat much of anything, either," he adds in John's direction.
"I had a cookie, didn't I?"
"Yeah, I'll bet nobody forced you into it, either."
Carmina grins as her dad winks at her. Her mom rolls her eyes, but doesn't keep dad from bullying John a little. "Grab something so we can get going," she tells John, "And make sure she doesn't stand up once we're in drive."
John reluctantly takes a towel-wrapped ear of corn and a single rib, while Carmina goes right for that piece of chicken she'd been eying from the start. That helps her make peace with sitting safely, at least this one time. Next year, she's definitely going to get to ride in back by herself, she can feel it, and she is going to do it standing up!
As Carmina watches the town shrink behind them, she congratulates herself on another successful birthday. It'd been better than she'd expected — she was a little uncomfortable around so many people at first, but now she's pretty sure she can say she's made some friends? And seeing the town full of food and laughter and music... It had been sort of what Carmina imagines Fall's End used to be like. Her parents probably wouldn't agree, but maybe that's okay. Maybe when she's older, she can try and prove to them that things can be just as good as they used to be — even if it's a different kind of good.
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wavbleu · 4 years
Text
So stereotypical- jacob elordi
No warnings or tags
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I jumped into a high toe touch waving my green and yellow pom-poms in the air, yelling at the top of my lungs "Go leopards go!" , they were a few points away from winning the game.
The crowd grew in volume as the team worked there way to the touchdown line.
The stadium went silent and the tension was so thick that you could cut it with a knife, everyone was on the edge of there seats, watching the one football player, #25 make his way to the touchdown line, i began to bite my fingernails. We needed to win this game.
Thats when he scored the touchdown, the leopard allies went wild, people were ringing bells and the football players were doing chest bumps. Another L for the Lions.
I clapped my pom-poms and did a back flip, cheering with joy.
After a few minutes of celebration people began to leave, that was my cue.
"Come on girls, back to the locker rooms." I said to my fellow cheermates, the all followed me in a single filed order, back to the locker rooms to change.
(tiny time skip)
It was pretty dark, 11:00 pm to be exact, It was an away game and when you have busy parents they will never be able to show, so i have to drive myself. I always had a strange feeling in my guts when it came to walking in dark parking lots but like hey woman things.
I opened my car door and threw my cheer bag in the passenger seat, thats when i heard a voice call for me, i turned around and saw Jacob, the head of the football team, "#25" he was sitting in the back of his truck, drinking a beer.
Jacobs P.O.V
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"Hey." I called out to the pretty girl, she turned her head and looked at me, her eyes widened and her expression grew confused. "Yea I'm talking to you." I would give her a light smirk assuring her that im not some crazy person.
"Hi Jacob." She would come up to me giving me a light smile, "Want a beer? I know your tired" I offered her a beer, "Oh no , I dont drink beer." She waved her hand at it in disapproval.
"I have White Claw if that suits your interest, Princess." A cute, angry face grew, "Im not a princess." I nodded sarcastically and laughed.
She took a seat next to me, snatching the White claw from my hand, I chuckled. "Nice game today." She nudged my elbow "Thanks" i say. The silence was killing me softly.
She then popped open the drink, it let out a loud "szzz" until some of it spilled on her sweatpants and shirt. "Shit." She mumbled frustrated.
We both went to grab the towel, making our hands meet, "Sorry." I apologize, beginning to blush, her hand felt like silk and was small and cute, i could fiddle with her fingers all day. She started to wipe off her hands and her pants and shirt, drying it of the liquids.
"I dont think i really remember your name." I question her, "Was it Y/n" i say with a questionable tone in my voice, she then nodded and gave me a smirk. 
"Oh yea! Your in my chemistry class! i copy off your work all the time." I giggle, "Well i suck in that class so good luck." She stated with a small chuckle.
"But you always get good grades in that class, i dont understand." I commented, "I have my ways." she went to sip her drink.
My mind began to ponder, what the fuck does she do to maintain a 95+ thats when it hit, "Oh my god do you suck the teachers dick?" I scrunched my nose in disgust, our chemistry teacher was old and grainy, his dick must be old and shriveled up to. "NO, My parents are very good with there words.." She claimed.
I didn't buy it, not for a second. "You liar you deep throat his dick every day just to keep a good grade." I snapped at her, " And so what if i fucking did, its working aye!" She argued back.
feisty, i like her.
"I already told you my parents are lawyers and lawyers have a great way with there words." she recited, "Okay." I chuckled, finishing off my beer.
The silence grew again.
I glanced at her and examined her body a bit she was shivering and her cheeks were red, the wind blew cold air right at her and her tiny body couldn't take it .
"Here" I turned behind me and grabbed the large blue fleece blanket, wrapping it around her. "Aren't you cold?" She says in a worried tone, i looked her deep into her big eyes, they were full of worry and care.
"Ill be fine." continuing to take another sip of my second beer I was actually really cold but i didn't want to invade her personal space or force myself onto her, The last thing i wanted was for her to become uncomfortable around me.
"You should go easy on those." she said taking the bottle from me. "You need to stay sober and drive."
I loved how she tried to make it seem like she didn't care but she actually cares, a-lot, she reminds me of.. me.
I tried to hide my shivers but that failed tremendously, "Dude just take the blanket with me." She said opening her arms.
I scooted into her arms and she attempted to put the blanket over me, i was twice her size , it was cute watching her throw the blanket over my shoulder repeatedly.
"How about we lay down instead." I said with a light chuckle, "Please."  she insisted.
We laid on the back of the truck looking at the beautiful stars in the sky, it was like those teenage indie movies but better acting.
"Even though we just had our proper introduction, i really like you, i can kinda see myself through you." I said in a sincere and empathetic tone.
She turned to me and looked at me with those beautiful eyes, i stared right back at her, "You make me feel safe." her glance went down to my lips then back at my eyes.
The moonlight hit her skin, making it glitter and glow, her lips were pink and plump and kissable, her hair was as soft as silk. Her eyes were dark and full of mystery.
I couldn't resist not kissing her, it was a small smooch before i pulled back. Hoping she would consent to it.
She swiftly leaned in for a longer, more intense and passionate kiss, who knew i would kiss a girl i barely knew for atleast an hour, but at the same time it felt like we have been talking for years before.
I began to tower myself over her, the pace of the kiss quickening, i lightly grabbed her neck and began to kiss around her ears, she let out a light, and sexy moan.
"Do you want me to slow down?" i say with heavy breaths following, "No." she says , attaching her rosy and sweet lips back onto mines.
I lowered my grip down to her full, breasts.
"Please~" she softly begged with a neck roll, the need  was filling her up fastly, to keep up I took off the great sweatshirt she had on, revealing her perfect boobs, covered with a dark green laced bra. 
We were really about to have sex in a empty parking lot in the back of a black truck, with no regards.
I went behind her and detached the bra with 1 hand, letting it come lose, I connected my mouth to one of her boobs, she let out a whimper as i plastered bright red hickeys all around it.
"Are you a virgin?" I ask, unbuckling my pants. She nods her head no, i give her a mischievous smirk before i tower myself over her again.
I smoothly slid down her pants, following her panties, she gave my sexy and hungry stare which made me even harder.
I threw the blanket over us for some.. privacy, then i slid into her, she let out a gasp at my size. I felt her hands dig into my back as she moaned into my ear, every stroke i gave her.
I began picking up speed, I grabbed her neck with a tight grip and whispered dirty things into her ear, "You feel that baby?" I say sitting up, holding her legs open, i could feel her wanting to close them from embarrassment of how much she enjoyed it, but i held them wide open. She whimpered as she felt like she had no control.
I pressed onto her pelvis area, i could almost feel my dick inside of her.
While she was in a vulnerable position i took the chance to start rubbing her sensitive clit with my thumb, Her breath hitched at the pain so pleasurable.
I pulled out then flipped her around in a swift motion, she let out a squeal from being so startled.
I slapped her bare ass, it jiggled and left a bright red hand print on it in response.  I slowly re-entered myself back into her tight insides. I put my hands on her waist to arch her back, giving me a deeper thrust right onto her g-spot, the sound of her cheeks clapping and her screams filled the air.
"Fuck me!~" She would yell in a deeper more erotic tone, I could tell and feel that she was close to cumming. Her insides tightened, perfectly hugging itself around my cock.
"Im gonna-" She said before abruptly stopping herself from throwing her ass back onto me, her legs began shaking and her whole body was trembling "Fuuc-" She said with a gasp, i smirked mischievously as i watched her turn into a slutty mess.
I slowed down for a bit to make sure she didn't get over-stimulated, allowing herself to calm down so we could continue.
I lifted her by her throat, sliding my two long fingers down her throat making her gag, "Suck." i would forcefully demand, she obeyed.
I started to pick up speed once again, i was getting closer to my breaking point. She could tell because she began tightening herself onto me, I couldn't take it any more, I put her back on all fours then grabbed onto her waist again, beginning to pound her into oblivion.
"Fuck!" I would grunt as she squirted all over me, My thrusts became unbelievably sloppy, "Cum in me~" She would politely ask.
After a few more deep and rough pounds i unleashed all of my creamy cum into her, I could barely breathe from the pain of that, but it felt so amazing.
I pulled out of her the juices dripped all over the back of the truck. Tired, I hunched over her, laying my head on her back, trying to catch a breather from what we just did.
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