#but no yeah im so normal and glad i spent my time like this

[ragnars-tooth]

I should not have been taught so badly for 3 years that i genuinely have to google how to find job postings in my field. "Get a degree!! Get a degree!!" for why. To be laughed at by out of touch tutors and not taught anything? It's certainly not going to help me get a job because i CANT FIND THEM. "People will see you went here and that will give you credibility." Will it roderick. Because I now know not to trust a motherfucker who went here 💀

[hollandsangel]

2:15 am | c. sturniolo

HI yes im alive who’s surprised (me, i am)

self proclaimed mayor of the ‘chris can’t sleep alone’ club (doing gods work, you’re welcome)

summary: chris cant sleep & you’re the perfect remedy

wc: 834

gif by @hotelstares !

you haven’t been asleep very long. maybe twenty minutes or half an hour.

you’re in the midst of a fuzzy dream when your phone starts to vibrate on your dresser next to your bed. the sound is difficult to recognize at first, getting all mixed up with your dream in your mind. eventually it wakes you up, tugging you away from the soft haze you’d been emersed in.

groggily, you reach over for the device, squinting your eyes to try and read the contact. your eyes are bleary, but you’re able to make out your boyfriends name and contact photo after a brief seceond.

“chris?” you wonder through the line upon answering, voice thick with sleep and hardly above a whisper.

“hey ma,” his voice is smooth, like he hasn’t been asleep yet.

“hi…i think i was dreaming about you,” you say as you let your head fall back against the pillow, rubbing gently at your eyes with your other hand.

“yeah?” he says through a deep breath. the smile your confession elicits from him is audible and contagious.

“yeah, either that or i just spent the last four days with you and my brain hasn’t realized we’re apart yet,” you think he must be able to hear your smile as well.

“my brain hasn’t really realized it either,” he mumbles, getting a little bit shy.

you close your eyes, content being soothed by his voice.

“what time is it?” you ask him, even if you could easily look at your phone screen for the answer. opening your eyes feels like too much work.

chris answers of course, without hesitation, “2:15,”

“it’s pretty late, you okay, bub?” you ask him before answering your own question, “can’t sleep?” you know how he gets, always needing someone close by when he drifts off.

you can imagine it’s a bit difficult tonight, considering you spent the last few nights sharing his bed. you’d found it a little harder than normal too, having gotten used to his arms tucked around you, his face pressed against your shoulder blade.

“i miss you,” he mutters and it makes you blush, “and i don’t wanna crawl into bed with matt or nick, i know it won’t help,” he admits, letting out a long breath.

“you wanna come over?”

“would that be okay?” he seems a little bit embarrassed, like he might be inconveniencing you.

“of course, chris,” you open your eyes now, reaching over to turn on your bedside lamp, “i want cuddles now,” you say sheepishly, face still half pressed against your pillow, muffling the words.

“mmk, i’ll get an uber, be there soon,”

“kay, love you,” you sigh, waiting for him to hang up.

“love you too,” he says first, making you smile even if you’ve heard it a thousand times.

in the twenty minutes it takes for chris to show up, you’re drifting in and out of sleep, trying your hardest to keep the lull of exhaustion at bay as you wait, no matter the difficulty.

soon enough, the sound of a key in the lock sends a small jolt of wakefulness through you, and you anticipate the subtle push of the door as he comes through to your bedroom.

“nick or matt’s bed wasn’t good a enough?” you tease, watching him turn a little red as he shuffles into your room.

“i wanted to sleep in your bed,” he mumbles, beanie hanging low and covering his eyebrows, pajama pants hanging lower. he lifts the duvet and crawls in with you, immediately wrapping you in his arms, “nd’ i wanted to sleep with you, not my stinky brothers.”

you laugh, stifling it against the blankets “m glad you’d rather snug with me,”

“you kidding? you’re the best snugger around.”

“i’d say,” you hum, tugging his beanie off and tossing it somewhere on your floor.

he gives you a squeeze before reaching over to turn you so you’re facing him, “thanks for letting me come over,” he mutters, beaming in the low light. he looks so pretty like this, grinning down at you, illuminated by the soft glow of your lamp. he reaches up slightly and brushes your hair from your face.

you have a small moment of realization; he’s admiring you the same way you’re admiring him. you think your heart grows in size, gratitude making it swell up.

“thanks for comin’,” you whisper back, leaning up so your noses touch.

chris closes the gap, giving you a gentle kiss before pulling back and kissing your forehead too.

“night,” he tucks you against him, keeping you close, “i love you,” it’s sweet, how his tone changes. it’s tired now, chalked full of sleep and you can’t help but think it’s because he’s with you now, and that’s what puts him at ease enough to finally relax.

“i love you too,” you whisper into the barely-there space between you, watching as his eyes close and his lashes kiss the tops of his cheeks.

you can’t help yourself, leaning forward just enough to kiss him there too.

.

.

.

.

tags ! @st4rswrld @urfavvev3lyn @mattsturnioloarchive @averysbestyears @its-jennarose @strnilolo @grimholic @tworosesblackthorn @mattscoquette @dazednmatthews @pinkishpearls

[gothamite-rambler]

"Tim, you slipped up eventually," Bernard said. (Batfamily Chronicles Microfiction Series)

---Next morning---

Tim woke up the next morning. Last night felt like a dream, it had to be he reasoned. There was no way Bernard discovered he was Robin, sat on this information for a long time, or that Bernard kissed him once he started panicking. It was a dream... a really good dream.

Tim (reasoned): It was a ... dream. I was exhausted. Dog tired, took off my suit which... Is scattered on the floor, totally normal. Me being naked, trying something new. Did that myself.

Bernard (calling from the kitchen): Tim, you awake?

Tim smelled bacon and eggs from the kitchen. Bernard was making breakfast, he was in his place and Tim was naked in bed. Not connected.

Tim (trying to play it cool): I'm up... Wh- When did you get in?

Bernard (heard chuckling from the kitchen): I spent the night here, silly. You hit your head during your Robin job?

Tim (sighing at the inevitable truth): Oh crap baskets.

Tim got out of bed debating what to say, how to handle this, should he pay Bernard to keep the secret, move towns, get plastic surgery-

Bernard (unintentionally interrupting his boyfriends ruminating thoughts): Tim, I'm making your favorite! I also left an outfit on the bed, and I placed your mask on the table.

Tim groaned at his boyfriend's saccharine jovial tone. Bernard sounded so used to this, but Tim couldn't figure out when he actually figured out he was Red Robin. All he could do now was get dressed.

Tim: Th- Thanks.

Tim took a deep breath, changing into the blue shirt and blue jeans Bear left out for him. Leaving his bedroom, he went to the table and sat down. Bernard placed a plate of eggs, bacon and avocado toast in front of him. Bear kissed him on the head then sat down with a plate of his own food.

Bernard scooched his chair closer to Tim, laughing softly seeing his flushed face.

Bernard (eating a strip of bacon): Last night was fun, I'm glad I got to do that with you in your Robin suit. Kind of wanted to do after I connected the dots on my metaphorical evidence board.

Tim groaned, rubbing his forehead.

Bernard (a soft smile): If you're worried I'm going to tell anyone or leave you or want money to keep it secret let me make this clear, I won't. I wouldn't do that if we weren't dating. That type of betrayal isn't my thing.

Tim: Yeah, but... Why?

Bernard: (calm) Did you threaten to do that when you wanted to become Robin? Because I know how smart you are and that you figured out who Batman was.

Tim (shaking his head): It was a tough start, but I never wanted to tell the world the information once I learned it. I didn't think I'd have this happen to me though. I was so careful.

Bernard chuckled, patting Tim on the shoulder.

Bernard (placing a hand on Tim's arm): Timmy, my prince, you suck at hiding it at a certain point. You left your eye mask in random places, you left a batarang in my car once, I'm keeping that by the way, one of your Robin suits is in the closet-

Tim (lying badly): I told you that was a halloween costume.

Bernard: Tim you have it labeled 'Property of Red Robin'. I believed it was a cool halloween costume... that we used for roleplay, eventually I connected the dots and the tights.

Tim sighed, holding his head down and eating his breakfast.

Tim: Continue.

Bernard (beaming): Thank you, let's see... you left your laptop open one time and there were blueprints for the batmobile, the microwave incident and again your upper arm tattoo.

Tim checked the tattoo he got dedicated to his mom.

Tim: Yeah, I-

Bernard: I told you to get the tattoo on a different spot for that reason, yeah. To be honest, the mask and tattoo made me teeter on if I was right, but it was when I kissed you to wake you up from the chaos monster's control that made me realize... you're the same person.

Tim: That was a weird night, you never told me how you snapped out of it first.

Bernard kissed Tim on the cheek.

Bernard: I had a little help from Robin. The important thing is I don't care if you're Red Robin. I love you and will always love you. I was waiting for you to tell me, but... let's just say I got a little impatient.

Tim: That's what I love about you, you are my better half. I... love you too.

Bernard: Aww, you're making me blush. Your secret is safe with me though, okay?

Tim nodded, eating his toast.

Tim: Thanks, question though, did you figure out who Batman is?

Bernard (chuckling): Yeah that took me like five minutes. Having trouble with Nightwing and Red Hood though.

Tim: Seriously?

Bernard (honest): Yeah, can you tell me?

Tim: Oh, no, no, you gotta figure that out on your own.

Bernard: You'll keep that secret from me? The utter betrayal.

Bernard and Tim laughed and then shared a quick kiss then went to eating breakfast with a new bond between them.

Previous chapter ->Last night

First chapter -> He already knew

[bluebellowl]

Hi! Howdy! I love your art, I’m so glad it keeps getting on my For You page despite how I don’t go here (here being Pokémon). I’ve been seeing your stuff every now and then for like…two weeks? And every time I’ve seen your art I’m like “Oo I don’t wanna leave the art!! I’ll lose it </3 I wish I could look at more of this art and see when more is posted and whatnot, I’ll just not scroll and just keep my phone on this art for like five minutes for the tumblr algorithm recommends me more-”

Now….why….did I just now, today, remember I can go to your profile and just follow you????

I am not kidding I’ve Fr been sitting here with your art on my screen for 5+ minutes while I work and it’s just now occurring to me that like. I HAVE A TUMBLR! I HAVE AN ACCOUNT! NORMAL PEOPLE WILL JUST FOLLOW PEOPLE! I don’t have to live like that.

IM HAPPY TO BE HERE NOW, sorry if I’ve been like…haunting your notifications with likes or something. . I love your style and how you depict the Subway Masters and everything. And it’s like there’s so much emotion and detail and care in everything you make. <3 Uh. If I start getting big into Pokémon bc of you, so help me, I can’t do that, it’s too massive of a media, I don’t have the money-

Heya! Wow that's a story and welcome aboard!! :D

Don't worry, notes don't bother me (tumblr isn't allowed to notify me, I just check stuff every now and then) and I'm super flattered you think so highly of me, holy--!! OwO

I'd be surprised if I got you into Pokemon bc I'm not too much into it myself. All I do is hang out in the submas fandom, play my ancient Pokemon Gold once a month and play Pokemon GO with uni friends. All I've spent on it so far is like 20€ on socks from sunny. And a looooooooot of hours on art but this is how I relax so it's ok.

So yeah I'm just here for the clown twins with the french collars

Anyway hope you enjoy your stay and your new found powers!

[auspex]

ranking my current and former special interests

NOTES: this is not a tier list of everything i like. in fact there are several things i spent more time on and liked just as much that aren't on this list, but i can feel when i become Abnormal about something and it becomes a special interests. explanations under the cut

from this i learned i need more special interests that aren't media, but at least my current special interest, WoD, encourages me to be creative... unfortunately i also cannot pick my special interests T_T

in text form:

S: Birds

A: World of Darkness, Mitski

B: A Song of Ice and Fire (book series); Star Wars; Maoism (plaese read explanation lmao); Animal Crossing; Darkest Dungeon; Puella Magi Madoka Magica; Portal

C: Binding of Isaac, Yuri on Ice

F: Homestuck, LoveNikki

S Birds: Pure, wonderful creatures, i want my special interest to revive instead of just loving them. like this was my first special interest i think. i love birds.... ERA: Childhood

A WoD: I know it has many issues but it gains points for A) making me do creative stuff B) bringing me out of a dark place C) gaining me wonderful internet friends and D) being current special interest. ERA: PRESENT (mid-20s)

Mitski: I'm normal about her now, but oh my god. impeccable. no notes really. shout out to mitski for being in top 10 spotify wrapped for me since 2019. and breaching top 5 a majority of those times. ERA: Late Teens, early 20s

B ASOIAF: I'm glad there's at least one meaty book series here. It loses points because of GRRM being Weird and misogynistic often, as well as Bad TV show, and being NEVER FINISHED but. im sorry. its good. ERA: Mid high school

Star Wars: By god i can watch episode iii a billion times and the novelization changed me deeply. obi wan i am still obsessed with you. however. it loses points. due to. Well. you know. Disney... :( ERA: Middle school and early high school

Maoism: OK so. thank u maoism for helping me figure out and articulate my beliefs and giving me a sense of purpose. however. i also joined a political org that turned out to be Terrible due to it. so. it loses points for that. and also while i still largely agree w/the ideology im still refiguring out my politics after that half politicalorg half cult debacle ERA: Early 20s

Animal Crossing: You saved me in high school, thank you ERA: Middle school and all of high school

Darkest Dungeon: I LOVE YOU DARKEST DUNGEONNN but it hasn't sparked any creativity, just consumption, so it is limited in that way. ERA: Mid high school

Puella Magi Madoka Magica: Gorgeous show, influenced me to become an anime fan, has its issues though ERA: Early High School

Portal: Excellent game. i was indeed abnormal about it in high school. however i struggle to see where it had positive lasting impact on me, it was just kinda there. but its v good! ERA: Early high school

C Binding of Isaac: Another game that saved my in high school, however it got so many expansions and i dropped it. it loses points cause unlike the other video games in B tier, i dont think ill ever return to it, or in the case of portal, straight up isn't as good. ERA: All of high school

Yuri on Ice: This was a cringe one but it was a very strong interest by god. theres not like, anything super wrong with it, just... yeah. moving on. ERA: A brief period in early college

F Homestuck: Oh god im so sorry. so many problems. both technical and moral. let's move on again: ERA: all of high school, unfortunately

LoveNikki: The only reason why homestuck isn't bottom of the barrel is because LoveNikki caused me to waste so much money (it is a mobile game) when i was depressed. it was a money sink. oh and the way they handle dressing up darker skin tones is racist and there are some racist outfits in it. so it pisses me off. ERA: A year in early college

[siderealsandman]

just finished reading mending warped designs and im so sorry bc you probably heart this a lot so i mean it in the most respectful way possible but... are you abandoning that fic? 😭 or are you just on an undefinite hiatus?

i NEVER read fics that are unfinished, but after finishing T&C, i simply HAD to venture into that alley. and im not disappointed. as much as i hate angst, your writing and world builiding is simply miraculous, for lack of a better word. the work you've done is a masterpiece, and i mean it. might be the best work of fiction ive ever read. it would be a real shame to abandon it, but i understand if you have things that are more important :) your health and happiness should be your utmost priority ❤️

that being said, i really do hope you choose to continue writing it. masterpieces don't just appear, they take a lot of work and dedication and im so, SO glad you took the time to put in the effort to create something so beautiful.

best of wishes xx

Thank you so much! I appreciate all the love and feedback I've gotten on my ML fics over the years.

With Miraculous I feel like I kinda grew out of the setting/fandom (doesn't help that most of my friends I met in it moved on) but overall T&C came from a place of frustration with canon I no longer feel. That and MWD had me with the worst case of writer's block that I resolved by writing something else (two something else's).

I have the last scene of MWD written but need to put together the connective tissue which I find it hard to get in a headspace to write. When I have time to write, I typically want to tend to The Games of Divinity or Devil Summoner: Akechi Goro. I do plan on finishing it...but can't promise when.

If you're interested, however, I do have the final scene below

Context: Marinette and Adrien are at a party with the rest of the heroes when Dr. Oliver attacks again, leading the pair of them to leave and take down their enemy while Team Paris rests.

Despite the crowds of people fleeing for their safety, Marinette was in a better mood than she had been in for a long time. 

"Now this feels familiar," Adrien mused, tugging Marinette out of the way of a pack of panicked tourists. "Everybody in their right minds is running away from danger, and here we are running towards it." 

"Must be something wrong with us," Marinette chuckled. 

"Of course there is," Adrien said, tugging her into an empty cafe. "If we were normal, we wouldn't have volunteered." 

Two flashes of light later and Ladybug led her partner out the other entrance and onto the rapidly emptying street. "I wonder what the venn diagram of lunatics and superheros looks like." 

"It's basically a circle," Chat Noir said as some of the people fleeing for their lives slowed down to take a picture.

"Go get em Ladybug!" One person yelled as they ran to safety. 

"Kick his ass Ladybug!" 

"Good to see you're back Ladybug!" 

"Oh my god Ladybug!" 

"Ladybug, can I have your number-" 

"Hey, you know what's cooler than Ladybug? Not being destroyed by dinosaurs; get to safety before someone T-Wrecks you," Chat Noir said, shooing a small crowd of pedestrians towards a bunker. "Go on, get! Jeez, you need to have a word with your fan club about personal safety." 

"Don't tell me you're jealous of all the attention I'm getting," Ladybug chuckled. 

"I've spent the last four years deliberately trying to avoid attention," Chat Noir sniffed. "Besides, Paris is kinda slow to forget; I'm sure most of these people still think I was up to something fishy with Hawky." 

"I get the crowds of screaming fans, you get all the superhero clout," Ladybug said, awkwardly waving at a crowd of passing tourists all delaying their escape to snap pictures of the newly returned heroes. "Somehow I think you got the better deal." 

"Now who's jealous?" Chat Noir asked, rubbing the back of his neck. "They'll come around…I'll make sure of it." 

Ladybug nodded, noticing the furtive glances sent Chat Noir's direction. "Yeah…ditto." 

Ladybug stopped in the middle of the street, watching Chat Noir's back as he stepped past her. "Hey…are you sure about this?" 

"What, running solo against a guy with some lab-grown dinosaurs?" Chat Noir chuckled. "What's there to worry about?" 

"No, I meant…" Ladybug trailed off with a shake of her head. "Forget it." 

"I know what you meant," Chat Noir said, glancing over his shoulder. Somehow, the spectral eye that looked her over didn't seem as threatening as it used to be. There were glimmers of Adrien, her Adrien, under the overwhelming mantle of Chat Noir. Enough for Ladybug to latch on to as he smiled. 

"I'm here because I want to be," Chat Noir said, turning around and leaning on his staff. "Because I want to try…I don't need to be sure about anything else." 

That doesn't scare you? Ladybug thought. 

Who says it doesn't? Chat Noir thought back with a wink. "You should spend a little less brain power worrying about me, Ladybug; we're gonna need those smarts to send these creeps back to the Jurassic period." 

"I thought I'd let you take the lead on this one," Ladybug said, falling back into step beside Chat Noir. "Give you a chance to flex your own brainpower." 

"And I thought I told you I have one strategy," Chat Noir said. "Everything else is just tactics. Besides, what is the correct strategy to deal with a man who has living fossils at his beck and-" 

A pterodactyl shaped drone swooped low overhead, launching an electromagnetic rocket at the door of a nearby bank and blowing it clean off its hinges. 

"Wait…those are the dinosaurs we're supposed to be fighting?!" Chat Noir huffed, glaring at the drone as it zipped away. 

"Yyyyyeah?" Ladybug said. "What's wrong?" 

"They're…they're robots!" Chat Noir said. "Just…just some stupid robots!"

 "What did you think he had actual dinosaurs for us to-" Ladybug stopped short as she saw the almost heartbroken look on Chat Noir's face. "Oh…oh my god, you actually thought we were fighting real dinosaurs?!" 

"I've seen weirder stuff than that!" Chat Noir said, huffing as Ladybug doubled over, clutching her stomach as uncontrollable peals of laughter echoed off the mostly empty street. "I was told this was a professor who uses dinosaurs to rob banks but apparently he's just a nerd with a Transformers fetish!" 

"Oh…Oh, I'm sorry, is this beneath you?" Ladybug laughed. "What, you fight dragons for a couple of years and suddenly you're too good for robot dinosaurs?" 

"I'm the apex predator; not some…some…ugh, I'm so disappointed I can't even metaphor correctly!" Chat Noir growled. 

"His Majesty only deigns to sully his little kitty paws with real monsters, thank you very much," Ladybug wheezed. "Theeeeee Apex Predator needs worthwhile prey; none of this toy-aisle garbage."

"Shut up," Chat Noir laughed, completely oblivious to the dinobot stomping down the street behind him until the hot gust of steam from its nostrils washed over the back of his head. Something about the way Ladybug laughed had a funny habit of making him forget the kind of danger he was in, even after so much time apart. 

"No, don't even bother!" Chat Noir said, ignoring the robotic snarl that came from the dinobot. "It's ruined! This whole day is totally ruined! I thought we were going up against someone worth our time but all we got is a model kit builder and his army of toys!"

"Hey!" A booming voice shouted as a large pterodactyl drone descended, powered by hovering jets that only seemed to piss Chat Noir off more. The top opened and out stepped an equally angry looking professor in a black lab coat and goggles. 

"And I'm guessing that's our target," Ladybug said, flicking the gigantic T-Rex in the nose as it leaned in closer to her and leaving a divot in the machine's steel frame. 

"Who dares question the paleontological engineering genius of-" Dr. Oliver stopped as he spotted Chat Noir. "...Chat Noir?" 

"No, I'm a very disappointed kitty who wanted to chase lizards today," Chat Noir said. 

"And…" Dr. Oliver pointed at Ladybug. "Wait, when did you get back?" 

"Three days ago; haven't you heard?" Ladybug said, bumping her shoulder into Chat Noir's. 

"I was in jail on bank robbing charges," Dr. Oliver said. "They only played football and reruns of terrible BBC baking shows." 

"Well, here's the only news story you need," Ladybug said. "Ladybug and Chat Noir are back in Paris." 

"And more than ready to stick our Little-foots up your tin can tailpipe, you tacky old veloci-loser!" Chat Noir spat, cracking his knuckles. "Get my hopes up, will you…" 

"You got your hopes up," Ladybug pointed. 

"And I'm taking it out on him!" Chat Noir said, brandishing his baton in the perturbed professor's face. "Come out of the Zord with your hands in the air and I'll see if we can get you some Land Before Time DVD's to entertain you in prison." 

"But…how?!" Dr. Oliver stammered. "How are you…I-I thought you two were finished!" 

"We were, but…" Ladybug spared a smile for her partner. "Life…finds a way." 

The hiss of dozens of whirring servos drew her attention to the small pack of robotic velociraptors that closed in around them. At the far end of the street, a large mechanical triceratops angled three cannons in their direction while a small pack of pterodactyl drones whirred overhead. 

"So…little guys are worth one point?" 

"Big suckers are at least five," Ladybug agreed. 

"And the big guy has to be a dime," Chat Noir said, teeth flashing as he snapped his staff out to full length. "No cheating now." 

"I trust you'll keep me honest," Ladybug said, springing into the air alongside her partner. They hung for a moment in mid air, suspended above the encroaching crowd of mechanical monsters, before diving like twin falling stars into the melee, back to back as it always should have been. 

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

4/8/2024 eclipse notes

Overall it was a hopeful day for me despite the ever-looming sense of mourning. but the eclipse made it feel special. this eclipse was so mathematically rare because of the exact EXACT chiron conjunction. down to the minute. never experienced something so precise in my 15 yrs observing astrology.. i lit a candle for sammy & spent a while praying then did yoga n journalled outside as the eclipse waned. u couldnt see the full thing here but i saw a little ^.^

i've talked about chiron on the blog b4 but if ur not sure basically it's a major asteroid named after chiron the centaur, "The Wounded Healer". i feel that nickname sums up wat chiron's about, it's your deepest pain, isolation, rejection, & it's where your greatest potential to heal others (+yourself) can be brought forth. so chiron was turbo-activated today. it's digging up a lot of sh** for me truly. like this is rly crazy. but what i realized today is that i'm in the best place i've ever been to grieve, that was my eclipse revelation i spose.

and this is the most painful loss i have experienced in a loooong long time bcus this was someone i spoke to basically every day for the past year. but even then, i feel sm more equipped to get thru it , even if i feel rly quiet rn & not like myself, i kno it'll pass & i'll feel like i can be normal again. dnt feel much like posting rn but i'll get back to it eventually cus sammy rly loved my blog like sincerely i never felt embarrassed that he read my posts. although i do feel this is causing me another minor crisis over internet usage & how to exist online, i know i have to keep posting for sammy P..

yeah ahh the sadness comes in waves but im really glad i am where i am rn to process it all. it's weird to know this will impact my whole life going forward. it makes me think back to sain;t's death and how that changed the course of everything. except back then i was in the WORST environment to cope with it. it's so different now. saint's full name was saint chiron too !! so i always think of them when new chiron sky theatrics are happening. i'm like Awww Saint Wouldve loved writing a 10 paragraph introspective post about this ...They trained me in this manner :>

couldnt resist a late night ramble as i am ever so restless. tomorrow i have therapy for the first time since the day before denji ate a ziploc bag and got emergency surgery. i think that was like 3? weeks ago?? so basically i'm convinced time isnt real anymore because there's no way it hasn't been 3 months. rapid fire trauma lol o_o like please wonderful lord in heaven can we just pick, a struggle , one single struggle is enough. tysm. thats all for now.. trying not to scroll the dash because everything make me feel too crazy rn so pls dont think im ignoring u everyone Ok ilu.. gn

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesdaypost year in review

this year brought to you by viewers like you. thank you! i still do not know how to thank everyone for their incredible generosity during the Late July/Early August Moving Catastrophe Badtimes and im still feelin some kinda way about it. thank you.

took eight weeks completely off, more than any other year so far

overnight traveled for work for the first time

moved cross country with Mack to face dangers untold and hardships unnumbered

bought an actual for-real couch and not a futon

got Phil

(unrelated to Phil) i got spayed after almost ten years of begging and pleading various medical professionals, (also unrelated) got covid and RSV back to back

listening

fallow weeks: 8. i almost always have a tuesdaysong bc i am almost always listening to something. all of the tuesdaysongs are here:

particular favorites were Peel Me A Grape (Anita O’Day), top spotify song of the year Yeah Yeah Yeah (Blood Orchid), Yeah Yeah Yeah’s Wolf remixed by Sextile, Father Finlee (Spence Hood), A Minha Menina (Os Mutantes).

the very last tuesdaysong of the year is Sugar Rum Cherry by Duke Ellington, one of the few christmas songs i tolerate.

special shoutout to the austin underscore walker universe of podcasts, bc i mainlined A More Civilized Age (clone wars/star wars rewatch) while packing, and devoured P/alisade (the newest scifi season of F/riends at the Table) this month.

-

reading

fallow weeks: 11. pleased that i am killing the invisible rules in my head and including more articles instead of feeling guilty about Not Reading A Real Book!!! every week when i sit down to write the tuesdaypost. read a fuckton earlier this year bc i was procrastinating moving prep, have not read much since i moved.

article sources:

inoreader (the best free RSS feed/app imo)

The Markup (gold standard usage of data to show how various technologies are being used to harm the public good: you may have heard of the recent American bills to equalize internet service and fix organ donation grift. that was them)

Web 3 Is Going Just Great (crypto disasters)

404 Media (technology reporting, internet culture, also break a lot of data/legal/privacy scandals)

Remap (formerly Vice's video games division Waypoint, more active on podcasts and twitch but do have great personal essays about gaming longreads)

Retraction Watch (an important academic service but platformed a particularly virulent transphobe and let the comments devolve into a free for all. yes im still mad about this)

Krebs on Security (~once a month extremely long and thoughtful infosec writeups)

Data Colada (cover academic data whoopsies, currently being sued for their journalism)

the two authors i spent the most time with this year were Alexis Hall (romance novels and novellas) and Raymond Chandler's noir detective novels. i read 90% of Raymond Chandler's work in march and went insane about yet another sad bisexual man. Philip Marlowe the cat is named after his pet detective, the human Philip Marlowe.

march was kind of a banger for this category bc in one of what i consider the best tuesdayposts this year, i tried to break down why i fucking hated Frank Miller's Sin City comics so much.

other comics, but ones i loved: Spy X Family, Berserk, weird noir DC miniseries The Human Target.

-

watching

fallow weeks: 10

notable stuff i watched for the first time (according to letterboxd) that will stick in my head for a bit. some (The Night of the Hunter) i am so glad i watched once but do not feel the need to revist. some (Slipstream) fascinate me with how good they could have been. some (Twilight. all of them) were fun bc of the people i watched them with. the two i went particularly deranged over are The Big Sleep and Day of Anger. still feel very normal about them.

very heavy on crime and courtroom films this year!

television: very excited for s2 of Blue Eye Samurai, Interview With The Vampire, Spy X Family.

i should loop back and finish Black Lagoon, Adventure Time (completely forgot i rewatched most of that this spring), and The Big O. that last one is throwing me a little bc (since i last checked) there is no freely available version with subtitles (i cannot find subtitles Period) and i'll be damned if i have to import a dvd. i can find the dub with subtitles but! i want to hear spike spiegel as mecha-batman :(

sort of lukewarm eh-i'll-get-around-to-it about s/tar wars shows. i have not watched a/hsoka At All or wrapped up the animated Resistance show. i'll pay attention when ando/r is airing again.

-

playing

fallow weeks: 10. way fewer than i would have guessed!

the trouble with this category is that it is exceptionally hard to find new good games (either ones i already own or ones that are free). it is almost completely prohibitively exhausting to trawl through the free category on steam. there's simply a lot of cruft out there. a very good thing (but also incredibly timeconsuming thing) i started this year was throwing games into various folders so the eight bajillion libraries i have are less overwhelming. i can safely ignore 80% of my epic games library, for example. the itch.io library is a whole separate weekend project i think.

got back into genshin for good or for ill, which took up most of the back half of the year.

go play ABZU. i am no longer asking.

i would like to go back and finish the RPG Gamedec, un-softblock myself in the RPG Weird West, and finish the visual novel Dead Man's Rest. i think i stalled out in Call of Juarez: Gunslinger bc there was a mexican standoff that my reflexes are simply not fast enough for/too much to pay attention to. i am excited to pick up that spooky fishing simulator DREDGE when i have fun money again.

completely forgot i spent most of jan/feb/march being annoyed at fallou/t 4 but having some fun in Far Harbor, also forgot i spent an entire month playing through Wolfenstein: The New Order but i am not compelled to play through it again. it was fun! but like many games after one playthrough my time with it is done!

-

making

fallow weeks: 17 (unsurprising, pretty low energy year as a whole as i recovered from covid rounds 1 and 2 and the frankly insane stress of moving).

wrote exactly one fic: some matters at the heart of cowboy western snap shirts: why they are so and some of the implications of their being so, i would like to write more next year but i don't really have the brainpower. i hope this changes soon.

the baby blanket i started last year is still not done but the baby is still under a year so i have a very narrow window of time.

dyed some couch covers im still very pleased with

wrote an extremely long but very well received gallery wall guide

recipes: 12. sort of shocked by this? i am becoming an incrementally better cook and slowly finding recipes i both like and can successfully execute. found the fortitude to caramelize onions, for example. quick pickled red onions, for another thing. big year for protein or greens on top of beans and rice. faves included: cuban-style pork shoulder, hellofresh peruvian chicken, red lentil soup, white bean/kale/rice bowls

i would like to be less terrified about cooking fish. i would like to eat more fish.

and of course, the biggest project of all, acquired Phil. here is my very favorite photo ive ever taken of a cat

[kingprinceleo]

Playlist anon-

Have a sketch (sorry for the bad lighting)

Im going to go through your other aus fully to make my review of their playlists so it might take a while but I AM doing it (I really love your music taste), so here's the buffer sketch of my favorite boy (I love your design for him)

Seeing you has given me the inspiration to make my own au and practice the sonic style more (I hope you don't mind your art is a great interpretation tool for me since it includes necks but I swear I'm not copying your style 🙏🏽)

Also that saying of "to improve your art get obsessed with something" me @ vampire au

ohhhh !!! hes so good!!!! you ate up the mask tbh!!!! i still struggle with that thing !! and the hatching is soooo delicious omg please take ur time, (thank u sm!!!! eee) i am looking forward to it!! and tysmmmmmm i loveeee him 🥰🥰🥰🥰 (im so glad i spent so long working on him) and hell yeah!!! good luck and have fun!!! (and i dont mind at all as long as ur not trying to copy my style line for line you feel, general inspo is all fine and good!!!) thats really funny to me bc i dont give them necks....

i only give them a "neck" if they are wearing chokers or turtlenecks or other high collar stuff LMAO (a majority of designs in vampire au have that so i understand why it seems like thats a normal feature DHFJD)

thats so true !!

[aokoaoi]

Hi love I was wondering if you could please do a Shuri x black! fem!reader where the reader is jealous of riri but Shuri just reassured her with lots of fluff I’m so sorry if this is a bad idea but thank you for reading!!

𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞.

pairings : shuri x fem!reader.

" i don't care how long it takes,

as long as im with you ive got

a smile on my face. "

Your attention the whole day was on Shuri and that african-american girl she apparently saved. She hadn't even spent an hour with you this day because of how she clung onto 'Riri' the whole time.

How upsetting.

Yeah, yeah, Shuri had to protect the girl. But was she that into protecting the girl to the point she can't even spike up a conversation with you anymore? You were practically being taunted by their echoing laughter inside the laugh.

God you almost wanted to tear off your ears from its place.

It's not like that girl isn't capable of protecting herself after all. She has the brains to protect herself. She even created a whole Walmart version of Iron Man(no offense) for goodness sakes.

You rolled your eyes with a scoff when you hear Riri laughing at something Shuri says, tearing your eyes away from them. Okoye, who was standing beside you the whole time only looks at you unamused.

"This is a whole new side of you, (name)." She perks up. You peaked a glance at her direction, puffing out your cheeks childishly. At least someone still wanted to talk to you.

"I don't get what you mean."

Okoye gave you her usual taunting look, acting as of she was oblivious as well. "You're normally a laid back type of girl, but today.. You're scoffing, rolling your eyes, muttering and huffing alot." Okoye states.

You scoffed, waving your hand dismissively. "It's nothing."

"You just did it again."

"Did what?"

"Scoff."

"I don't scoff."

"You do, and you just did."

"It's a habit."

"Right.." Okoye hums, not believing every word you're saying. She looked at the direction the Queen and Riri was, raising her brows at the scene, and then back at your sulking aura.

"Oh my.. is the tough, cool, laid back (name) jealous?" Okoye taunts, a big grin etching on her pretty face. Her spear remains next to her as she leaned closer to your face, watching as your reaction looked as if you were mortified.

"Jealous?! God, no. Ew." You hurriedly refused, shaking your head at the atrocious idea. You and jealous dont go well at all.

Okoye only looks at you dumbfoundedly with her brow still raised, her expressions practically screaming 'yeah right' in a taunting way.

"Seeing new versions of you is certainly entertaining." Okoye states, only getting on your nerves even more now. You irked at her, and suddenly the air was hot.

"I'm glad you think I'm entertaining."

"Oh no, not you. just the other personalities that we rarely see."

You let out a frustrated sigh. Okoye snickered at your frustration, leaning on the counter behind her. "You don't have to hide yourself, (name). Almost everyone on the Dora Milaje practically knows your feelings for the Queen."

"What feelings? Were just friends."

The general scoffs at that, shaking her head at you stubbornness. "Yeah, you've got somethings to figure out, huh? Goodluck on that." She snarked, spinning her spear before taking her leave, leaving you standing alone dumbfoundedly.

What was she on about? There was certainly nothing going on between you and the Queen. If something were, you're sure you would have just jumped off a cliff. You'd rather bring your feelings to the grave than make a literal embarrassment out of yourself.

Your gaze then went back to Shuri and Riri, seeing how they were still talking and certainly looked like they weren't stopping anytime soon. You blew raspberries, grabbing your own spear that laid on the white counter and walked away. Away from the sight of those two together.

It was almost dark out and Shuri haven't been able to talk to you yet. It seemed like you were avoiding her for some reason. Had she done something wrong? You looked upset when she came to greet you a hello earlier.

Okoye practically makes a face as the Queen continued to harshly drag a pencil on the table.

"Is something bothering you, Shuri?"

The said girl nods her head hurriedly at that, immediately dropping the pencil with a loud sound. "(name)'s been avoiding me, and she looks upset whenever I go near her. I saw that you two were talking with eachother earlier, so I assume you know." Shuri rambles.

Okoyes brows raised, surprised at the fast pace of speaking. "..Yes, the girl is upset.. and yes, we were talking earlier.. and yeah.. I do know why she's acting that way—"

"Why?"

Okoye hummed unsurely. Should she just say? If she does, you'd probably come storming towards her with your spear, looking like an angry bull ready to pounce.

"Well.."

"Well?" Shuri imitates, impatient.

"She was upset about how you weren't talking to her anymore. And by upset, I mean jealous." The general spills. Shuri pauses for a moment, letting the woman's words in her sink in.

"She's jealous? That doesn't sound like her."

"That's what I said as well. She doesn't like how you've been with Riri more often, that's all I know. I've said too much." The general mutters the last part, disappointed that she couldn't keep your small secret to herself for even a single day.

"...are you sure we're talking about the same person..?" Shuri questioned. Whatever the general was talking about didn't sound like you at all. What happened to the cool, laidback (name)?

"Yes. She said it to me herself, even I was surprised. But you didn't hear this from me, okay?" Okoye hissed, giving the queen an fierce 'understand me?' Look.

The Queen nods, unsure of what to do. But now, she has to try and find you to confront you about what you were upset with. Or shall she say, jealous.

Shuri finally finds you in the gardens, seeing you just standing over the flowers with the most bored look she's ever seen. She might be very tired right now, but she could've sworn she heard you talking to the soft colored petals.

"Hi."

You swiftly stood up, a surprised look on your face at the sudden sound of a familiar voice. "Shuri? Hi!" You greeted at an unnecessarily loud volume. Yes, you were in fact talking to the flowers. If the Queen heard you, you might as well just drop down on the ground right now.

"I noticed you've been ignoring me." And at the Queen's words, your mood drastically changed. You looked at her blankly, as if remembering her actions earlier.

"Oh yeah."

Shuri slightly tilts her head at that, unsure of what to say. "..so, is that a yes about you ignoring me..?"

"Yeah."

The Queen was amused by your straight-forwardness. She let's a smug and amused grin show on her face, looking at you up and down. "Okoye told me why."

"She did?," You perked up, and the as if a light switch just flicked inside you, you realized what she said. "She what?!" You incredulously yelled. Shuri chuckles at your shock, noticing you slowly begun to feel an embarrassed furiousity.

"I've got to say, jealousy somehow doesn't fit you, but it is amusing." The Queen states, watching as you looked at her in annoyance.

"If you're here to pick on me, then I'm gonna go take my leave." You huffed, gripping on your spear with annoyance. Shuri stops you from walking away, looking at you apologetically.

"I'm just kidding around. Please don't leave, I'm not here to pick on you." She pleads. You hummed, pleased by her change of persona.

"Go on."

"I get why you're jealous, and I'm sorry. But I promise you, I won't do that shit ever again. You're the only one for me, (name)."

"You make it sound like we're together." You mentioned, completely unserious of the situation. Shuri looks at you, confused. "We aren't?" She questioned, raising a brow.

Your whole body stopped momentarily, letting her words sink into your thick skull. "What's that supposed to mean..?" You hissed, flustered. Shuri let's a coy smile form on her face.

"I'm saying I like you."

Your jaw dropped slightly, not believing your ears. The Queen of Wakanda, is out here, confessing her feelings for you like it's nothing.

Shuri steps closer to you, looming over your slightly shorter form. "You don't have to respond to my confession now, I completely understand, but I just wanted you to know about my feelings."

"I'll understand if you don't reciprocate my feelings, but im done pretending like my feelings for you don't exist. I like you, (name), not her. Not Riri. I wouldn't dare replace you with her after all the things we've been through together."

You felt like the air in your lungs had been knocked out. Shuri had just spilled her feelings out for you and you could barely react. You were speechless, you didn't know how to react.

You can't even figure out your own feelings yet, how do you respond.

Seeing your pressured expressions, Shuri gives you a reassuring look, grabbing your attention once again by holding your hand with her own. "You can think about it, 'kay?"

You only stood still. Shuri let's go of your hand, although she was disappointed, she couldn't force yourself to respond to her sudden confession. She turns around, beginning to walk away.

You wanted to reach out to her hand when she began walking away from you. You wanted to hold her hand and tell her your feelings as well. You wanted to tell her you like her.

But you can't.

yet.

idfk how the hell this turned into Shuri confessing instead of fluff wtf😭 also no hate directed to riri<3

[a-non-ymouswriter]

Alright, let's talk Rewind (or my MCYT fics)

i think it's time to finally talk about rewind/remix.

or generally, just my mcyt fics in general.

it's been a while since i updated any of them and trust me, i am very much FILLED WITH GUILT over not updating or continuing them- problem is; i just don't have any motivation in them at the moment. my interest and motivation for them have waned, wilted and withered. the three unfortunate ws that arent wins.

i dont want to say i abandoned them, i hate the thought of abandoning ANY STORY and i like the thought of getting back to them at some point. maybe my motivation will come back, it has in the past and that's a great hope to have.

however i am aware that these stories have been gathering dust and it's possible that motivation will never come back and i hate that.

i know partially why i'm no longer interested? partially- it mainly started with techno's death. it just didn't feel the same anymore now that cc!techno was gone, but if things went differently then maybe i could've continued just as normal. but i'm pretty sure my motivation took a great hit when techno died.

another great hit to my motivation is the whole... thing with cc!dream??? WHICH I WILL NEVER EVEN POKE ABOUT, YOU CANNOT MAKE ME, I WILL IGNORE EVERY ATTEMPT. it felt weird writing about c!dream even though i should REALLY be able to separate the two, cc!s are different from fictional c!s and all that but for some reason i just don't feel too comfy writing him right now.

and since my main series of rewind and remix is MAINLY RELATED TO DREAM- you can see my problem here.

the dream smp is done, over, there is no season 2 and my interest in this fandom is only tethered by the occasional fanfic that i stumble upon and the numerous fanarts that come and go. that interest isn't enough to motivate my writing.

a funny thought though, is that i think i spent a LOT of motivation and kind of burnt myself out in the future back when i was DAILY UPDATING REWIND- like i don't know if you readers remember but i was updating DAILY on rewind. every day, FOR ALMOST A MONTH- something that might never happen again really and i'm still kind of proud of that.

but i'm pretty sure it was very unhealthy of me to do daily updates the way i did- it took A POWER OUTAGE to make me stop doing daily updates and i remember STRESSING OVER NOT UPDATING while the power was out. so yeah, i'm pretty sure i set myself up for failure there XD

but i'm so glad that i was able to at least finish rewind. my very first story that i completed. unfortunately i'm not too confident about finishing the rest of the series (and some other fics).

a friend of mine actually suggested something that i've been thinking about from time to time; i give you guys the outline of what COULD have happened. what i was planning on writing and then completing my works.

it sounds like a good idea but i didn't want to let you guys down in just, giving up like that. but nowadays, it sounds like a better and better alternative than to just wait for my motivation and interest to come back. it's almost been a year already for wishes and family, and remix, i managed to update stream labs a few months ago so that's hopeful but the others...

okay, i'm going to give YOU GUYS the choice here. i'll tell the ao3 readers about it as an important update author's note, but im going to make a poll about this choice soon and i'll even pin it on my tumblr.

it'll last- maybe two weeks? but yeah, it's the least i can do to see what you guys want.

EDIT: polls apparently only last a week, so it'll be up a week.

[feline-evil]

Oh yeah i forgot to say here too cuz i'm more likely to stay at least a little active on here through it since it serves me slightly less rage inducing dickheads that i'll pick a fight with, but something upsetting as happened and i'm definitely not going to be in a good mood for a while so my activity online may go down.

My cat unexpectedly declined rapidly overnight and had to be put down yesterday, i do not always cope with loss well, i've lost a lot of people and animals in my life. We buried her, i helped dig, i dug with my bare hands because i couldn't wield the shovel properly with how fucked my arms are and my entire body started shaking halfway through and is still trembling the day after. I had to look after my parents through this, they cried, i didn't, emotions don't work right in me anymore. I'm giving all this information to paint a clear enough picture as to why i'm not here to be fucked with at the moment. I don't want to deal with stupid fucking twitter discourse that makes me want to punch a wall, i don't want to deal with pathetic cunts who have a problem with some nobody like me and harass me whenever i have anon on here, so as you can imagine considering both of these are fucking constants when im online for some fucking reason, my activity might be spotty.

I loved my cat a lot, she was already nineteen when she turned up outside my door terrified of people, scrounging through the small food waste bin. She looked so starved and feral i thought she was gonna die back then, i spent days slowly working up her trust, sitting by my door talking soft, not making eye contact, just letting her get used to me; i needed to check her condition, needed to know if i could help. She was filthy, flea ridden and starved, her little bald ears burnt and painful. Eventually she trusted me enough to take food, then be touched, and then a week later she was in the house. Two weeks she stayed the first time, kept warm and safe with blankets and food; a toothless, ancient cat i felt sure we were given a few final days respite before she passed. Her owners turned up after those two weeks. Our neighbours two doors down. They took her back, i was not happy. But as soon as they let her outside again she ran right on back to us purring and purring as much as she could, curling right back up in her blankets. After this happened time and time again eventually the neighbours let us keep her, i'm so glad that they did because she began to heal. Her ears cleared up, her fur became soft and silky, she started behaving like a normal cat again; she put a little weight on, never a lot, but enough to not look starved, and she even tried to gain her meow back (she was a silent meower, that she never managed to fix, but she did start to make a little noise).

She was with us for three years past that, or nearly three it wouldve been three next month, and she was the sweetest cat in the world; she didn't often have energy to play, she wasn't the adventurous sort, she just wanted to lie near you and purr. She'd cry and howl if she couldnt find us, she never bit or deliberately scratched, she was an absolute gentle soul. When we moved it was the best thing for her, going to a smaller, easier to navigate house with a lovely safe, enclosed out door space; she got to feel the sun and the dirt again for those last few months, but safely, not as some poor frail animal left outside to fend for herself.

The vet told us her organs had failed when we took her yesterday, that even if she were a younger cat she'd be a candidate for humane euthanasia. There was no coming back from that. It was her time, we knew, the decline she had overnight was a sign she was ready to go; to keep her from saying goodbye would be crueller than letting her go. She was 21, nearly 22. I found fragments of a blue china plate in the dirt we dug for her, i kept it, its so pretty. I made her a bouquet out of tiny wild flowers from the garden. She's buried in her favourite spot. I'm really happy i got to put in the work to give her the life she deserved even if it was only for her last few years.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

honestly sometimes just think about how there was a whole episode dedicated to cleo and frankie hanging out having fun together, with the two playing off in all sorts of cute ways,

but the point WASN'T "oooh giggle giggle awkward crush"

and how nice that was? Refreshing??

the ep was like "hey these ghouls are real comfy together, watch them be silly and admit their admiration out loud, but not in a tense way, just in Blurt It Out Like It's The Most Normal Thing And Then Go Back To Laughing Together way, bc they ARE friends actually"

crushes or no crushes, the vibe between them is Good. Good Vibes. Happy Supportive Slightly Ridiculous Vibes

and yeah frankie's thing for cleo is pretty clear to us, the watchers, the whole time, what with the bushing and the *looks at cleo* "pretty!" comment and the mumble mumbling cleo makes everything nicer other comment

still, it's not until the Very End Of The Ep that the actual vibes get Romantical, with the Looking and cleo's narration and frankie's little hand touch spark and the More Looking Hmmm

a lot of the other cute stuff was Normal Cute Stuff. not trying too hard stuff or acting out of character to impress cleo stuff

frankie IS the kind of monster who'd hum a tune and dance with a friend to cheer her up! that's just them being themselves around cleo, and cleo smiling to see it!

(the spin tho, the twirl, THAT was GAY)

likewise cleo is just being her over-dramatic and very specific party planning self all over the place, again not Trying to be cool or pretty or fun or anything,

instead she's this super fangirl dork, so excited about this Thing she loves, and frankie's just following her around with hearts eyes the whole time- or slight panic, while trying to keep cleo's phone alive for her

like, cleo's into this ocean-themed jewelry designing influencer, and frankie looks at that and is like I Shall Create A Coral Themed Jewelry Stand For For Fav Influencer- they having fun joining in on what CLEO'S having fun with! cleo also just gets to be herself and frankie's so into it!

what im saying is

we got to see cleo and frankie as they would be AFTER dealing with all the feels

sweet and settled and relaxed w/ each other

normal with each other

sometimes in media, the moment Feels come up, it all goes to tension and awkward and trying to be the person they think other other will like most (we'll see if that happens here too),

but usually, a lot of times, especially if the relationship isn't the Main Part of the Story, there isn't much build up for the ppl involved, how they'd interact when not silently freaking out all the time, so you're left wondering What WOULD They Be Like Together Even?

and that can be really fun! To imagine or look forward to!

problem is often there's not much time spent on showing the After, or any at all, if the Getting Together is saved for the very end

so with clankie, im just... really glad there was an ep of them being friends

yes yes, friends where one is clearly Gay for the other and the other later goes Wait Oh My Ra They're So Cute Send Help, you CANNOT ignore the gay in this ep it is Glorious

but from a non-meta view, from cleo and frankie's perspective, it really just was a fun night of shenanigans together

together, with someone they really really like

and CLEARLY get along with Very Well

idk. it tickles me. i smile as i think about it. they're sweet and we got to see it in a very natural sort of way. it's Nice

[bwobgames]

Previous First

"Coffee, finally"

"Man, I can't believe it's over"

"That's understandable, we basically spent the whole night on panic mode"

"I know! And now we are supposed to go back and worry about normal stuff?

This is like when I was a kid and thought quicksand would be a big problem in my day to day life

What do you mean I don't have to think about time resetting maniacs anymore??"

"I mean, who would believe it?"

"That's true.

All of us are going to trauma bond so much"

"I can see that.

I'm glad we got friends out of it, at least.

That's how difficult it is to make friends as an adult, you need at least one stabbing for a dnd group"

"Been there, been there"

The house explodes again, the bomb squad is waiting on firefighters and the police.

The body was found and covered

They all agreed it was an attempted mass murder gone wrong

"... So, how do you feel?"

"Like a very used rope that will snap at the lightest weight"

"I feel like my skin is not as resistant as it used to be, like whatever happened took parts of me that I'll never get back"

"...Yeah, I understand"

"Not to be pessimistic, but part of me feels like I will never leave this place

Even though it's destroyed, even if they tear it down and build a starbucks on top

I think I'll still be here

A ghost of me"

Oliver Beebo recently started believing in ghosts

The supernatural and psychological type

"My dreams are going to get so weird now"

"Hey, I told you, didn't I? I have great contacts in the mental health department"

"Is that why you're so put together still?"

"I am nowhere near put together, I'm just great at acting like I do"

"I think someone called it masking?"

"Comes with the job"

"I'm sure"

Marigold approaches

"Hello! I wanted you two to know that we will take care of everything legal, but we do need you to testify, so if I could have your numbers for further contact?"

"Oh, of course"

"Also, the now renamed family Iraola cordially invites you to any and all holidays and game nights"

"Oh, nice! Does this involve card games?"

"If you ask Owen, he will immediately challenge you to some kind of battle on his multiple card game sets"

"I will bring only my best for such opponent"

"Uh, miss Marigold Iraola?"

"Yes?"

"When should we concrete the legal agreement to pass you the company?"

".... What?"

"You are the one who should have it. It's only fair"

He gives Oliver a look

"... really? But you used so much money!"

"Well, I wouldn't mind a, let's say, monetary compensation for my efforts both here and there"

"I don't think 'efforts' is the right word for your work at the company, Nadia would throttle you for saying that"

"Did it go broke."

"Uh. I don't know"

"...Alright, that's fine. I'll fix it and get you two with psychological compensation, medical compensation, and, well, compensation for the detective work"

"I have been in worse situations and been paid 20 dollars. This is the best thing that could happen to my wallet"

They interchange phone numbers and are put on the "Clock haters" groupchat

Vivi immediately floods his phone with cat memes

He answers with a thumbs up emoji

"... I feel like I should do something"

"It better not be stand up. Your ankle is lumpy and weird"

"No, no. I mean...

When I was at the other house, I promised to let a bit of beard grow, to, yknow, commemorate my survival, I guess.

Maybe I should let my hair grow? Would it look to unkept?"

"If you let someone else cut it, then you could look fine"

"But my money"

"I'll get it for you, im curious too.

Although, now we have these huge gashes on our faces, doesn't that count?"

"No, They weren't made intentionally.

...Maybe a tattoo?"

"Oh yeah! That's a good idea! I'll take you to my usual parlor"

"You have tattoos?"

"Yeah, but it's too cold to show you right now"

"Where will you go after this, by the way. Back to the capital?"

"No, I'm going to be too tired in the way there, I'll just stay the night at my hotel"

"Oh... well... y'know..."

"I don't live that far, well, I live in the region center, but that's way closer to here than the capital so, uh..."

"You could, you know, stay over if you want"

"... And do what?"

"Uh, do you like boardgames?"

"I supposed so"

"I really doubt we would have the energy to do anything else more, um, physically taxing"

"That's fair. I'll crash at your place then.

We could go sightseeing after, or just play video games inside"

"Yeah, and cook a nice breakfast, get some groceries maybe"

"Go to a park, get ice cream, play with your cat...

It would be nice, I'd like that.

A life like that"

"Ah, but I'm taking you to my apartment as well. You will meet the real city life, Coast Boy. "

"Oh, you city people with your underground trains and expensive international snacks"

"Haha, just the best for the capital!"

Silence hangs over them

"... I'm still scared"

"Of the future?"

"Yeah.

Will it ever go away?"

"... I don't know, I'll help you though.

I'll get you a planner. You can be like those instagram girls with a very strict planner"

"... Yeah, I guess.

Sorry, my mood is all over the place"

"I don't blame you"

"I mean, I don't even know what am I going to do after this. I'm basically out of a job"

"Well, what are your options?"

"I could go back to crime. Maybe hacking or something with medicaments, that could be fun."

"No, I'll get you"

"I know, but you'll do it lovingly"

"I guess I could go back to do something security related. It's boring, though."

"I heard my local chuck e cheese is hiring security guards"

"I am not applying as a night security guard in a building with animatronics."

"That's oddly specific"

"I still could be your detective assistant, I can use Excel, you know"

"You overestimate how much I'm paid"

"Or I could be literally anything else, but for now, I'll be on vacation"

"Yeah, me too"

"I'm thinking of taking cases of more haunted houses"

"... Are you out of your mind"

"I know how to stop them, and I wouldn't be going blind like these last two. I could even find a way to do it without entering them"

"Please stop risking your life. The detective life is already dangerous enough"

"I'm the house killer, the home terror"

"Sure, sure

Maybe I should be your bodyguard"

"Again, you overestimate how much I can afford"

They drink their drinks in silence

They can't help but feel slight sadness at it all

But time doesn't stop

"Ángel! Ángel look!"

"Huh?"

"The light, the sunrise is starting!"

It is 8:00 am

The sun is coming out

A cold breeze passes through them

The chatter of everyone quiets down

The sun is back

A new day has started

It always will

A collective melancholy passes through all of them

The eternal night is over

What now?

The future is waiting

They are alive

They will live another day

As many as they can

"We'll be alright

Not all of the time, but we will.

I'm going back home, finally

I've lost so much

And gained as well

I'm full of conflicting feelings that my subconscious will have a blast using

I'm scared too

But I'll be brave

Just to see another sunrise like this

With people that I love

We'll be alright

The future is full of chances"

A new day is born

And they watch it together

Hand in hand.

Thanks for playing

[kusundei]

oh god forbid. see i was sorta prepping for it earlier bcuz??? wdym. im going to see my nutritionist. follow up or not i remember what they said and wdym its IN PERSON. like jesus christ but nooo. i. expected it i think. when they asked me how much i weighed before i was just like heh idk. i think that mightve fucked me over bcuz i think they think i lost??? like 25-30lbs in??? a few months???? which isnt . horrible but not ideal. its just taking into context the time i spent staying a consistent 160ish after recovery or whatevet and then suddenly dropping down to what. ???? im assuming ???? im??? 140??? or high 130s???? its the way they didnt let me look at the scale but informed me ive lost. like im aware sorta.

just glad they didnt tell my mom. made it a whole thing explaining my recovery and therapy and how i am not DISORDERED. but its inclined them to question my testosterone again bcuz its “not normal” like yeah i know. and then again i also just like look the same like sorry??? thats not me being evil and disordered i swear on my life i havent changed. the only reason i know is because of the scale and also . okay maybe my pants. everything fits me better now. clothes r bigger i suppose but i still??? am the same??? like idk .

no im not. evil. they asked me the same question again if i was . relapsing. or even just thinking ab my weight again and tbh not really??? thats the thing. im not??? like no ive accepted ive always just been on the bigger side. im well aware its not something i try to change anymore jusr cuz im aware even if i lose i wont be happy w myself regardless.. which is evil but at least im self aware. its judt like idk. iiii dont know. i truly am judy not hungry most of the time but i know my body is lashing me for it slightly. getting the same kind of pains i get when i dont eat but i cant eat??

like . idk. im not rlly considering the fact im restricting on purpose but maybe if i truly think ab it maybe i am..??? idk. just the same thing over and over. oh i wont eat yet its too early. im not hungry enough ill eat later. i cant eat this in front of these people??? oh you want my food judt take it??? like idk. same thing . i definitely eat like i wont not let myself not eat for a day thats too evil for me. i guess if anything i am sorta acknowledging my. bad. relationship. w food. idk its weird though cuz . im?? evil????

idk it just reminds me like. im fine eating in front of sav. i suppose thats a time thing but its also just chz shes the one person who will lash me sincerely if i dont eat. then theres ayden and idgaf. aleena. ethan. etc. I dont rlly care and i think that stems mostly from.??? the fact??? they???? eat??? more??? than i do???? which is fucking HORRIBLE TO ADMIT its just like. idk. maybe rhats what it is. reminds me of kyle. my anorexic king like i get it. stop spitting pro-ed shit at me . idc youre restricting idc you think youre fat like buddy. r you patronizing me.

im joking. its just like??? idk. i guess im just keeping it on the dl. family definitely notices though??? oh how uncomfortable i am eating in front of family wtf. reminds me of matthews birthday i was getting lashed. here and there over and over just. r you gonna eat??? why arent you eating yet??? like i know. and no i was sorta hungry its just i knew i cpuldnt rlly stomach anything and jrs weird. like holy fuck was i tweaking i kept. talking to myself. assuring myself it was okay and nobody was judging me and they WANT ME TO EAT and its no big deal loke what the fuck. idk. it was so weird i sat down and tried eating that burger and jesus. i wanted to throw up??? but i knew i needed to eat?? i was hungry but i couldnt stomach it??? also nervous because i was being perceived like jesus christ.

i think. as much as im like rotating bsck and forth i might. be. a bit evil. restricting wise. idk its just my body keeps doing it to me and its. ??? im also fighting that. acknowledgement that i am being. competitive again. see i never got that competitive feeling all too much except w jd cause it was.??? idk??? she was enabling me??? this time around genuinely no one is im just doing it to myself. ESPECIALLY W AJAX LIKE JESUS. what thre fuck am i doing. whyyy do i care its not like hes going to lash me??? he asks me if ive eaten??? reminds me to eat??? asks me to??? like he is NOT lashing me. ??? but why am i??? being??? so evil??? about it???

it comes and goes though. its just horrible to admit that guilty feeling i get all the time when i eat and its likr god fucking forbid. i thought i was over this. ill be honest i mean like?? i could probably get over it. i just need to. again. separate the two. its a constant battle of reminding myself ajax is not jd (obviously) and hes not going to lash me over these things. that he doesnt want me to be evil and bad and worse because he cares and hes not secretly judging me and plotting against me??? that hes not lying to me and everything is okay??? like idk thats just evil sam. i just need to chill out i think. i just hate how it comes and goes like sometimes i eat like a normal human being and then sometimes i eat like nothing at all. like today. im not hungry. mom is lashing me ab eating right now buuut. oh god forbid will she ask me about the appt if i sit w her.

rambling alot idk im just. im aware. i know. i sont need a nutritionist or a psychiatrist to tell me what im already aware of. im not disordered anymore but im not denying the fact i might be a bit evil again. just trying not to enable myself??? like everythint isss okay. just glad they agreed not to tell my mom. like she doesnt need to know this. but ill have to talk ab this w ellis the next time i see them^_^;;;. oh but everything is okay… im fineee im normal im healthy im okay. IMMM OKAY. i loveee my boyfriend oh god i miss him so bad. praying he comes to school and hes okay . siiighhh……. i need school to end but i also need it to keep going. just. ugh. i sont wanna go to school tmr but i also want to. so idk. GOD FUCKING FORBID i cant but irs okay im full of love 💗

[winderlylandchime]

Hello! I am coming to you with Christmas/reveal update: So first of, Merry Christmas, i hope you had a lovely day. And second: yesterday my day started with my brother waking up probably the whole neighborhood by blasting Christmas music and then he immediately forced me to open presents. His “bad present” to me btw was my own candle that was already half used. So that made me fell a bit better about his present. Let’s get to the thing we all care about, btw i was so fucking nervous, it’s actually ridiculous even though I knew he wouldn’t freak out. Anyway: he opened his present and saw the shirt and he started laughing so much and was like ‘oh fuck i can’t wait to wear this to my check up on Wednesday’ and then he found the note… and he stared at it and then looked at me, looked at the note, looked back at me and went ‘isnt that the site that banned porn?’ Out of all things i thought he’d say, that one wasn’t even near the list. And i was like ‘yeah, im sorry. Originally i just wanted to tell the person how you started watching it and how she kinda had something to do with it and then it just kind of…blew up and other people wanted to hear your thoughts’ and he looked at me surprised and went ‘people…as in plural..*looks at me almost a bit scared* so like…do they hate my thoughts and me oooorrr would we be friends if we met?’ And then i told him that to my knowledge, he was liked and the look on his face was priceless ngl. And then he went ‘show me the blog’ and i had your blog already pulled up all the way down to the first ever message (which holy shit..i almost feel bad for all the spam, bless your heart for putting up with me) and he spent hours going through them. I’m talking every answer/comment/post.. and when he finished he went ‘damn…i was going through it. I’m so glad I matured since then. But im happy they didn’t witness my season 1 reactions’ (he has not matured. He is still the same minus all the meds. During s1 he threw a bag of candy at the tv when Craig showed up..) after that he told on me to our parents and he started that conversation by saying ‘merry Christmas, hey guess what? I’m famous!’ I got in trouble a LITTLE bit BUT he did defend it with ‘no no guys, you dont get it. I’m famous! To like 5 people but that’s still a lot of people!’ He also called our uncle and was like ‘you made bets on me being gay cause of Brian? That’s messed up bro.’ He spent the entire day going through the messages multiple times and told his friends about it.

And then today he wanted me to send you guys a message in his name and i wanted to die inside. His only order was to type everything he says. So my apologies in advance, he proof read this entire message and still wanted to send it as it was. So without further ado, here’s a message from the man himself:

Should I start with hello or sup? Hi everyone, how are you guys? Hope Christmas didn’t suck for you. Yesterday i found out about this blog and my partial participation in it. So hello, first of all I gotta say: Jinx is fucking cool so I already like the person who runs the blog. Make sure you let them know that. And ask what their favorite drag race moment with Jinx was? Okay, second of all: that photo meme someone made with Kevin Hart being Bri Bri was the best fucking thing I’ve seen in a while, it made me laugh so much. I sent it to all my friends to show them, hope that’s okay. Anyway now to the important shit: I am very happy that I was able to entertain you people throughout the last few months even if it was without my knowledge. I am also 100% very fucking confused about it. I actually thought my reactions were pretty fucking normal and that mom and dad were being dramatic but now being able to go back and see them…i would lie and say it was the meds but my sister clearly provided some other stories so I can’t even lie that I’m usually normal. Whatever. But i am happy to learn that I am not the only one when it comes to being in love with Blondie and Brian. Or the real life versions of them. Although there’s not a lot of them in any behind the scenes stuff or even interviews or photos and my sister told me that that hasn’t changed even now, so what the fuck is up with that? I was ready to reactivate my instagram to keep up with them, only to learn that I got better chance seeing Jesus come back to life than to see them post a fucking photo especially Gale. Kinda fucked up and rude but whatever, I’ll live. I think. Probably not.

Anyway, glad to know we had similar feelings about some stuff and that I’m not alone in thinking Mike and Ben are fucking boring. Felt good to be understood. And I’m happy to know that without my knowledge I was accepted into your little club. I read every answer to my sisters messages and even some, is it comments? Well I read those little notes too and some of them made me laugh and you guys all sound pretty fucking dope. I mean someone all the way from fucking Europe kept up with me? I am so sorry to that person but also that’s so cool.

And I want to say thanks for the well wishes! I saw that at the beginning there were some replies wishing me fast recovery and all that shit, so thanks for that! That’s very sweet of them especially since they don’t know me. Let them know i find out on Wednesday if I can go home next week and that i might get my cast removed. Okay, now i leave them with my farewell message: You guys are cool, thanks for making me a member of the club. I appreciate that a lot. Fandoms are fucking dope cause it’s just bunch of people loving the same thing and isn’t that fucking cool to think about? Just bunch of people coming together because of their love for something. So it’s nice to be in another fandom. I met my best friend cause we both love Iron Man. Hug your homies or whoever you want and pet an animal if you can! And while you’re at it, tell a republican to go fuck themselves. Especially right now. Bye. Let them know I threw a peace sign up at the end.

FRIENDS IF YOU ARE READING THIS GO TO MY BLOG AND READ FROM THE START OF THE MOST RECENT UPDATES BECAUSE THIS IS THE SWEET SWEET FINALE TO THIS CRAZY LITTLE TRIP.

Hello brother anon! (Dear sweet anon, please show him this message). I’m so glad you’ve taken this all with a big heart and a sense of humor. But give what your sister has shared with us and the way you’ve joined your local drag community, I didn’t think you would be super pissed. But you never know. As this is a show that has been off the air for nearly 20 years, the fandom is small and we very rarely get new content (the newest content was 2020) so having your updates via your sister was an incredible breath of fresh air. Thank you from the entire tumblr fandom!

This? This is what it’s about:

Fandoms are fucking dope cause it’s just bunch of people loving the same thing and isn’t that fucking cool to think about? Just bunch of people coming together because of their love for something. So it’s nice to be in another fandom. I met my best friend cause we both love Iron Man. Hug your homies or whoever you want and pet an animal if you can! And while you’re at it, tell a republican to go fuck themselves. Especially right now. Bye. Let them know I threw a peace sign up at the end.

This is what it is all about. Fandom is about the people just as much as the canon on which it is based. We are small but mighty and we are happy and delighted to welcome you with open arms.

My favorite Jinkx moments? Oh god, to have to choose? Ofc her iconic snatch game performances - all stars 7 of course of course but her snatch game as Little Edie on S5… whenever I wash my hair and put it up in a turban I like to go find my spouse (not hard, we live in a 2 bedroom apartment) and quote her line “I can never tell if it’s caviar or giblets for the cats” and I get bonus points if I actually grab a can of cat food for my performance. I’ve gotten to see her live twice - her and Dela’s holiday show in 2019 (I think - or it was 2018) and her most recent one-person show. I am SO EXCITED TO SEE HER IN DOCTOR WHO.

Much love to both of you - Siblings Anon. (makes fist) Ally.