#you dont have enough knowledge to make a video about this
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nothing worse than a YouTube video that's kind of wrong about a subject you know about
#mine.#it was about dropshipping crochet scams on tiktok#and like looking at the store front and then all of the identical items on temu. the dropshipping scam thing is a reasonable assumption#but the rest of the youtuber's evidence is so ???#“they have a bunch of different items in different styles” yeah theyre. a crochet business#and i genuinely dont know what the hell a “crochet style” is because most of the items were amigurumi and like. flowers#the steps to make a cutesy plush are the same as the ones to make a realistic plush. someone selling both isnt suspicious#“look at all these items! theres no way they could make all these that quickly!”#once again. they are a crochet business#someone making a bunch of stock and then filming their haul (? cant think of a better word) isnt suspicious#and most of it was like. pretty small stuff too#like not to sound mean but sometimes people are Better At A Craft than you#making a cherry keychain probably wouldnt even take me an hour and i dont claim to be an expert#im sorrrry to be a hater and the people doing this suck buuut#if you dont know much about crochet and dont run crochet booths or interact with crochet communities than maaaybe#you dont have enough knowledge to make a video about this
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₊˚⊹♡ education is hot!
education is literally the most valuable thing in life. please please PLEASE take advantage of that. self concept is important, good looks are important, happiness is important, health is important, but without education we wouldn't even know what any of that even means. ♡
having knowledge makes you magnetic. when you're smart, people will look up to you. and if people look up to you, it means they think about you, they admire you, and you have an influence on them.
life is knowledge. the more you learn, the more you are. knowledge is the fundamental basics to life. nothing is the root of everything but we wouldn't even know what nothing is without education. we wouldn't have language, we wouldn't have concepts, we wouldn't have technology, we wouldn't have the screen you're reading this on. we wouldn't have tumblr 😨
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 1. noting down ur findings
the smartest people ALWAYS note down what they learn, whether it be big or small. if you have lots of knowledge and / or the memory capacity of a goldfish then naturally you may not always remember what you learn. keeping it noted down in any preferably easily accessible format of your choice is so helpful and a very smart choice if you want to be an Intellectual™. notebook, sketchbook, binder, google docs, notion pages, tumblr posts, notes app, anything you like !!!!! just keep it noted down !!!! ♡
──★ ˙ ̟🎀2. utilising ur resources!!!!
so many people i know and millions of people throughout the world suffer with a crippling addiction to their phones, but what are you actually doing on said phone? you spend ages on your phone, your tablet, your laptop, reading, writing, playing video games, and so on, but even then, are you genuinely learning? are you taking the time to absorb the knowledge placed before you or are you skimming through it all in a mindless cycle of media consumption?
think about how you can utilise the things around you to learn. for example, make all that time spent on your devices useful. research, study, learn in your free time. knowledge is abundance. you can use your local library, your local bookshops, ur school or ur college or ur workplace just to find out more about your surroundings and about the world. it is so much more valuable thank you'd think.
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 3. wisdom
wisdom is the highest form of knowledge. to learn is to live so living is the only way you're going to truly learn, if that makes sense. therefore, by using this direct method, you gain the highest manner of knowledge; wisdom. wisdom is not being book smart or knowing how to solve equations or write essays but wisdom is genuine, pure, raw, life experience and life lessons, which, surprise surprise, can only be gained through experience and living your life. go out, try things, get out of your comfort zone, get comfy being uncomfy. you got this. ♡
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 4. social interaction
"nerds dont know how to socialise!!!" okay so maybe i adhere to this stereotype sometimes but social interaction is, however unfortunate it may be, a key part of being intellectual and having genuine knowledge. going back to wisdom and learning through experience, speaking with and networking with and sparking connections with others is a vital way to be educated and informed and cultured along with enhancing your social skills, because we need to know how to interact with others, too. if we can't spread said knowledge through connections and socialising so it can be passed down for hundreds of thousands for years to come then there is no point in learning at all because it'll have no use in the long run.
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 5. media consumption
feed ur brain. i cannot stress this enough. read books, fiction or non fiction. i know you've heard this a million times but it's true. read just a random article of interest every day to get your brain working. learn a new word every day, read news reports, letters, interesting blogs, articles, websites, do puzzles, crosswords, wordsearches, memory games, listen to podcasts, audiobooks, watch documentaries, youtube videos, interviews, ted talks, video essays, EXERCISE UR BRAIN
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 6. insights, emotional intelligence and empathy
as i've said before, and i'll reiterate again, knowledge extends beyond simply having book smarts and knowing how to work with letters and numbers. the most powerful method of communication amongst humans is emotion, and being well versed in how to read, understand and communicate said language is only learnt through real life experience and observation of real life experiences where the use of emotional intelligence and empathy come into play. analyse these experiences and note down everything
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 7. question ur sources and BE BOLD
one thing i was taught ever since i was little is that when ur online you need to be veeeery careful with all the information you get fed because there are lots of people out there, esp on the internet, with lots of different intentions and lots of different facts, even if they have good intentions and don't mean to mislead you. always double check whatever ur told with someone you know or on another website or two or a physical yet reliable source if you have one to hand, and cite your own opinions too. you get to choose what does and doesn't get to enter your mind. your mind and your knowledge is yours entirely and only yours to be tampered with and adjusted in any way you'd like.
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 things 2 study and be generally educated on:
social etiquette and politeness
countries and their respective laws, cultures, landmarks etc.
history of your own family and ancestry
languages you're interested in and basic phrases in several languages
information about your dream and / or current career
finances and how to manage your money
business, networking and persuasion
pet psychology and how to take care of them
capital cities and basics about places around the world, esp if you plan on going travelling
something beautiful about knowledge is that you'll never run out of it and it can never be taken away from you. people can take anything from you, but never your intelligence. ♡
all my love! 💖✨💘💗🎀💓
#not proud of my screen time today#(5 hours)#it is Not it my dudes.#i spent it wisely though!!!!!!#i was studying and writing and organising all my pinterest boards and spotify playlists and editing cute pictures................#if ur um. if ur intrestined. in. my stuff i make. go to. um. hue-hearts. my . silly little side blog#heavy are the thumbs that curate the girlblog#it girlism ୨𖹭୧#girlblogging#it girl#wonyoungism#girlhood#pink pilates princess#girly tumblr#this is what makes us girls#girly stuff#im just a girl#girlcore#girlworld#girl code#girl therapy#girl thoughts#girl things#this is a girlblog#pink academia#pink blog#study tips#study motivation#studyblr#study blog
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okay so:
the year is 2021. the month is june. the new season of hermitcraft, season 8, has just started, and everything is great! the hermits are all messing around, having fun, building insane things within the first week of the server being active, and generally having a good time. everyone's collected themselves into little factions, pranking each other, and it's all the fun, lighthearted, mostly-vanilla content hermitcraft is known for.
and then the split between minecraft versions 1.18 and 1.19 is announced. the delay of new terrain, and especially of new mobs like the warden, considerably disrupt several of the hermits' plans. but it's fine, they'll figure something out, they're professionals, and it mostly goes unnoticed.
about two weeks later, on november 9th, grian turns to mumbo jumbo in one of his episodes, and asks the famous question that would seal hermitcraft season 8's fate:
"mumbo, is the moon... big?"
suddenly, the fans panic. they search back through videos and streams, and realize that the moon had been abnormally large and stuck in a full-moon phase since october 30th. the Moon Big event has begun.
this is where the roleplay really starts. once the moon's size has been brought up, the hermits start a weird combination of scrambling to figure out why the moon's growing, and how to stop it- but also of ignoring it, hoping it won't be a problem, hoping someone else will deal with it. the moon keeps getting bigger, more hermits start realizing it's going on, and a creeping sense of dread starts to grow. but it's fine. it's fine, right? they do little plotlines like this all the time. they'll figure something out, the moon will go back to normal, and we'll laugh about it when this is all over. it's fine.
and then, blocks start flying away. just floating up out of the ground, and falling right back down! like for a moment, a square meter chunk of dirt has decided it's a ballerina and leaped out of the ground! but it's fine, right? the blocks are coming back. no lasting harm is done. they're going to fix it all... right?
the moon gets bigger. it's growing every day- local hermit weirdguy joe hills measures it every stream. the blocks start flying higher. gravity starts getting... weird, with players getting the slow falling effect at random, and being lifted off of the earth themselves. the players form cults and rituals and whatnot to try and appease the moon, convince it to leave them alone, making plans to escape. nothing works. things keep getting worse, and the moon keeps getting bigger. but it'll be fine. these storylines never leave lasting harm, or at least they never have before. they'll be fine.
and then the blocks stop coming back, just floating into the sky forever. the players have the slow falling effect more than they don't now. the moon is now so big it's visible even during the day, and fills the entire sky at night. they start planning their escapes in earnest, and say their goodbyes. some hermits jump into a void hole in the overworld (it was the centerpiece of their village). some flee to the End, some to the nether, some just fly with elytras and hope they can get far enough away in time. one brave hermit, tango, flies himself to the moon in a futile attempt to blow the whole thing up before it can crash.

but in the end, the moon crashes into the server, and everything they'd built was destroyed. and the whole time, there'd been nothing any of them could've done. season eight was over, a full six months before anyone had expected it to end, and season nine wouldn't start until about three months later. and im still not okay about it.
(here's a cool animatic of the moon's crash! honestly i dont think you need too much hermitcraft knowledge to get the gist)
(also the moon crash happened on the day before my birthday lmao.)
….
holy shit
#ok ok let me see if i have the timeline correctly:#1) s8 begins in June and so does the new update announcement#2) months go by with no issue (that they’re aware of)#3) it’s in November when they realize the moon has been growing#4) does the moon crash in January???#but gawddam#that is one apocalypse story if I’ve heard of one#also fitting bc i think it was 2021 where we were getting a LOT of asteroid/moon fall movies#idk what was in the air (possibly the pandemic that led to unforced isolation & ppl coped with apocalypse stories)#and somehow that bled through to a Minecraft server???? somehow?????#wild#this also reminds me of an apocalypse movie i watched with a friend called ‘3 Días’#very good movie btw#highly recommend (it is a Spanish only film which i don’t think will be an issue bc subtitles)#anyway#asks#smp 101 with gumy#hermitcraft edition!
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I've seen alot of people "wishing" they could make cc for the game but just wont because they dont know where to start or how to gainthe skill or that they are not knowledgeable enough
Listen.... Do you think i know everything there is to know about cc making??
NO
I started out by watching exactly 1/4th of the blender doughnut video and closed it out when i got bored after i learned blender Controls and everything before he gets to the sculpting part
Then from then on i just followed whatever tutorial duck duck go spat out for me that day
I STILL follow those tutorials till this day 3 years later for everything all the shadow bump specular maps all the hair frankmeshing all the clothes frank meshing recolors whight Transfer its all bookmarked tutorials pages that i have open once i sit down to make cc and close each gradually once im done with that step
Are my meshes perfect? NO FAR FROM IT they have issues sometimes i get lazy and skip steps (usually comes back to bite me in the ASS) but people still like them download them and use them so that should tell you something
It should tell you that you shouldn't stop yourself from learning blender Controls and fucking up those sims 4 meshes
You can do it
Trust me i know you can because i did it too
#this is inspired by me having to look at my earliest cc yesterday while i was moving stuff to patreon#i remember how clueless i was#i remember how hard everything was the first time#i remember even making an eyeliner was a massive task#now im thinking about going back and watching rhe rest of that blender video to learn more than frankmeshing#lol
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this will stop your addiction to scrolling.
do you even realise how long an hour is? 2 hours, 3 hours, and it goes on.
in this post, we will be chatting about all things scrolling. learnings from a book i read, sciences, information from articles, the negative impacts of it, and ways to fix it. grab a snack and a warm cozy drink, because this is gonna take a while! ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
many times i sit at home thinking that that i "haven't got enough time" to use a whole hour of my day just doing one thing. but then i open my phone, i impulsively go to youtube shorts. "one video" i tell myself. but its never just one video is it? i ended up on my phone for a bit over 1 hour that day. it was disgusting. it made me so mad. i could have spent that time on a hobby, a skill, with my sibling, going for a walk, reading, doing something, anything else! but i didn't. i was so angry i immediately put my phone on airplane mode and switched it off.
see, the thing with scrolling is that you dont even realise how much time has passed! at first it may just be 2:30 but then the next minute you look at it, its already 4pm. and boom. 1.5 hours of time, valuable time has just been gone, evaporated, into thin air. do you not get disgusted of yourself?
the amounts of negatives to scrolling will easily outway any value it brings. whether its youtube, instagram, tik tok, twitter, etc. whatever value or thing you're trying to achieve from these, there will ALWAYS be a better alternative!
this is one of the concepts in the book Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. it talks about the philosophy behind reducing the time you spend on technologies. see your time as money- say an app charges you by the minute. would you use it as often? you'd probably try to find different ways to getting that same "value" you think your receiving from these addicting apps.
example (for more older people):
you may tell yourself that by being on twitter for hours on end is useful because it can help you get knowledge, news and new connections with people, but that same value you can get- if not more- from just attending monthly or quarterly events, or having a conversation with people, or hand picking a few honest and effective articles to read for a couple minutes each day. as you see, immediately you start to get the same effects you'd be getting from twitter- but more + with much less the amount of time.
or an example from platforms like yt, tiktok, etc.
if it is planned and you've actually told yourself "i have worked very hard, i deserve having a bit of down time to scroll and switch off." , go ahead. (of course there are ways to get that same brain switch off feeling like doodling/ colouring, writing a diary and letting your mind wander, reading a fiction book, taking a bath, etc. but if you've intentionally made this choice, if you truly think this is whats right currently, go for it.)
but lets be real. a lot of the time, its unintentional. even if we have chosen to do it thinking that it is the best thing to do, are you really willing risk hours of your valuable time? "one more video" we ALL say that. its not new. so dont you ever get tired of your excuses? tired having your time thrown away just because you couldn't control yourself? what is that pleasure we get from scrolling?
dopamine.
scrolling activates the brain's reward center by releasing dopamine. every new mini video, like, comment is always keeping us hooked, making us want more and more until it never ends. until its 10pm at night and you're still here. on your phone.
ok so i know i've yapped on a lot. in fact you're probably too lazy and have to less of an attention span to read it all. (yep, also the effect of scrolling.) so,
heres a list of all the harms of scrolling: to enlighten you, not to scare you. (okay maybe a bit to scare you)
lesser attention span. as i mentioned earlier, scrolling reduces your attention span which means it reduces the amount of time you can spend reading, walking, just sitting idle. or you even may not be able to watch a movie without having something on the side like your phone to scroll on! (guilty😬). when that happens, you know something is seriously wrong. if you want to be able to watch a movie without needing all these different distractions, keep reading.
makes you more bored. yeah! i was surprised by this as well ngl!! this also applies to the point about attention span. scrolling can make you feel more bored because all that scrolling, and your brain being super hyper will make you feel bored at the things you used to feel excited by (ex: watching a movie! , reading a book)
increased anxiety and stressed. imagine not being able to stay away from your phone for even a few hours without feeling stressed. thats just so sad but also a truth for many of us. not just that but it can also leave you feeling overwhelmed and hopeless.
sleep disruption. this isn't new. we all know that scrolling late until night not only can affect your sleep schedule/ sleep timings, but also the blue light from your screen stops your brain from making melatonin (a hormone that helps you sleep), which then also affects your sleep. and we know what that can lead to.
on top of all that, it can make you disconnected from real life, nature, increase comparison, harms relationships, productivity and focus and the list goes on.
but you probably don't want to listen to this anymore. you're here because you may be feeling angry. angry at yourself, at your phone, at the internet for taking away so much time that could be spent living a happier life. you have actually felt the harms and now want a change.
[disclaimer: not all of these tips can apply to you depending on your job, your situation, career, relationships, etc etc. take and apply whatever you can.]
tips to stop scrolling (as much):
delete all the social media apps. anything that you scroll on frequently, delete it. this isn't to say that you can't access it at all, you can have it on your laptop or ipad. but the point is that it will increase the friction between you and opening that app.
switch up your feed. this is the very least you can do. start by pressing "not interested" on anything that isn't providing you any actual value. start following people who do provide value. slowly, change your feed to a more positive, motivational page which just makes you feel more inspired/ better every time you leave from it.
set a screen time limit on your phone + set the password as "i failed". this is something i got from online a while ago and its such a good idea! not only will the screen time limit prevent you from further usage, but also setting a password like "i failed" makes you really feel the impact of betrayal to yourself which will make you refrain from doing so!
slowly by slowly, work to reduce the amount of time you scroll everyday.
find the alternative!! okay so now you arent on your phone, aren't scrolling. now what? if you dont already have things that you can do in this immense amount of free time you have, then of course you'd surrender back to scrolling. fill your days with hobbies, new skills, being with other people, with nature, with meaningful and fulfilling activities. "do more things that make you forget to use your phone."
linking back to the earlier point, GET A HOBBY. ngl, it is SAD to only spend your days, vacations, weekends on the damn phone. get off of it! is your life that sad an empty that you have literally nothing better to do then scroll on your phone? thats actually pathetic.
switch off notifications / put on do not disturb- so you dont get constantly reminded
find out why you start in the first place. for me, it used to be an escape to bad things happening in my life/ around me. once you get to the root cause of why you actually start, work back from there. is there away you can remove that trigger from your life? if not, find a different activity that can help you with that trigger.
keep your phone away from your bed. i do this its actually really helpful because it gets me out of bed to have to turn it off which means i dont go back to sleep. also: if you can get a alarm clock which isn't your phone, even better!
things you can do instead of scrolling:
read a book (if its fiction it may be more enjoyable, but its your choice!)
have a shower
set some goals & a to do list for the day
do a puzzle
wordle
try a new skill/ hobby: crochet, guitar, writing
paint/ draw. and stop making thinking it has to be perfect!! if you see it as perfect, it is.
journal / diary writing
hang out with a friend/ someone
cook/ bake
go for a walk or run
learn something new
put a facemask on
listen to a podcast
sleep
yoga/ exercise
write thankyou notes to people
gratitude list
skincare/ a fun grwm of you!
go to a restaurant
style your clothes
make a wishlist
clean out your camera roll
listen to music & just chill
dance
scrap book- phsysical or digitally!
clean/ organize a space
watch a TV show/ movie- WITHOUT your phone.
go swimming
learn about plants so you can start gardening
other things to read:
Psychology behind it, neuroscience, etc.
why you can't stop mindlessly scrolling + tips
BOOK: Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport
reddit
#agirlwithglam🎀✨#social media#scrolling#quit your scrolling addiction#quit scrolling#addiction#it girl energy#self improvement#becoming that girl#girlboss#girlblog#self development#it girl#self love#girlblogging#itgirlism#health#wellness#it girl tips
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hey guys
saw a youtube video today that shocked and scared me, so im going to say something as a bit of a reminder.
do not give out your address online publically. state, city, school, ect. do not do it.
that makes you prime material for doxxing and sharing that kind of information publically online is an awful idea.
the video was talking about finding therians near you and to comment with your country, state, and city. it did specify not to share school or street name or actual home address but that is not enough to stop someone.
yes, there were many young therians commenting their cities.
regardless of how small the channel is, regardless of how few views the video has, regardless of how safe you feel on this person's channel
that is public knowledge now. commenting that is something that could cause irreversible damage to you.
i understand wanting to make irl therian friends, i do. i want to as well.
this is not how you go about it. ESPECIALLY if you are a minor.
please, please, please do not put yourself in danger like this. please. it will never be worth it. it will never go well. it is not safe.
remember, the internet is public. anyone on the internet could find that video and if they dont have good intentions could do serious harm to you.
thank you.
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Will you get red note?
No. Tik tok isn't banned in NZ so I don't really see a point. Like rednote has to follow ccp rules around what content is allowed and the guidelines just aren't something I personally could get behind so I don't want the app.
I will say that a lot of the discourse surronding tik tok being banned is just.... ignorant. Both in like what actual censorship is and the ccp laws surronding data collection. This post is long but it covers tik tok censorship, ccp laws surronding data collection and the sinophobia behind the US governments decision to ban tik tok.
Like I truly don't care what social media another person uses, but I do find it hilarious that the same people who complained about tik tok censorship, are now getting censored by the ccp. Like I've seen a few posts from people complaining they can't post lgbt content as it gets removed. And this is because the ccp is not pro lgbt and your content must adhere to ccp values when you post on rednote.
And I find it funny because tik tok censorship isn't really like that heavy? They don't allow discussions of violence and sex if it's not educational, and dont allow hate and that's about it. People often would complain about how "when I talk about x my videos get less views" yet I've seen plenty of other creators who post similar videos in x topic get the same amount of view. Like it's nor censorship, your current audience just doesn't like when you make x content.
And this is particularly also applicable to people saying tik tok censorship discussions of Palestine as they don't. It's beneficial for them to push that content as rage bait is a huge part of their algorithm. By giving you content which makes you angry or upset, you're more likely to comment which means you spend more time on the app and more of that same content gets pushed to you.
Also literally every instance of leftist antisemitism involving Palestine I've reported on tik tok has been found not to break guidelines.
And the ccp can get your data from tik tok. Whilst US data is stored in US data centres, because the parent company byte dance is a Chinese company, the ccp can request that data and get it. Like their request will not be denied.
I also see a lot of people being like "well what is the ccp going to do with my data" and they're not going to do much with just your data, but it's when they have data from large groups of people is where concern comes in.
In information security, it's not uncommon knowledge that the CCP wants to do propaganda through social media. If they have data from a lot of people, it's essentially as if they've surveyed enough people to get the general views of entire populations. That's the bit which is dangerous.
And the reason for the tik tok ban isn't because of pro Palestine activism. It's because of genuine data concerns but mainly sinophobia.
Like the fact that US social media companies also collect a shit tone of data about you (and also sell it) yet don't get banned but tik tok does, is sinophobia.
The concern from the US government isn't that the data is collected in the first place, it's that China is the ones collecting it.
Because if it was privacy concerns, privacy laws would be much more useful, and would also likely lead to tik tok still being banned because of ccp laws where China can access data collected by Chinese companies at any time.
And I do want to stress that this doesn't mean that tik tok is this evil company as it isn't. It's not their choice that the ccp has access to the data they collect. The ccp didn't create tik tok full stop but also certainly didn't create it to collect data. And I also want to stress that my criticisms lie with the ccp and not Chinese citizens or the Chinese diaspora.
And last thing on the topic I have to say, the ccp will get your data one way or another if they truly wanted it.
Like they don't need tik tok to get your data. Xi jingping isn't sitting there going "well fuck, my plans are all ruined because tik tok was banned". The ccp has hacked the NZ parliment multiple times over the years. Like I think tik tok collecting data is the least of our concerns about data being collected.
Especially since it's not just China wanting your data. The data of people in a country and outside of it is beneficial to any government as it does help them plan stuff both in terms of positive and negative things domestically and for defense and military purposes. Is it good for them to collect it? Fuck no. Should they? Also fuck no. And any country which really wants your data, will get it anyway with or without a social media app. Which is why I still choose to use tik tok.
The only way for you to have no foreign government collect data is if you're born in the middle of rural buttfuck nowhere, never get registered so the government doesn't know you exist and live completely off the grid.
Because of this, I do think we should be focusing on getting more privacy laws and also upping cyber security in every country. We need to invest far moeeninto cyber security
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I'll need elaboration on the first being jealous over book thing
by god who are you people and why weren't you born with the knowledge of first's hat meltdown on live for Only Friends Premiere. I am super scattered so I could only find this one video of it and that too from my twitter fk conspiracy theorist friend who wishes to remain anon so I will be creditting her as FK chatgpt from now on. The link will lead you to something gay enough as it is.
But you have to understand how I experienced it which is with my own two eyeballs as they livestreamed it unsubbed. Please imagine my confusion as I was watching First having some kind of meltdown over hats on this live. No, I do not know what the word for hats is in Thai. Yes, I could still tell it was about hats.
Because he kept changing it and fussing with it. Like they will have fully moved on from the topic and First will come back to the hat!!!! It wasn't until several hours later that I found out that it was because Khaotung said Book looked cute in his hat that First wanted to find a hat that Khaotung would also compliment him in.
I don't even remember things get buried in twitter so fast. But I am fairly certain that it wasn't even an offhand compliment. They were talking about hats! iirc the guys were in fact making fun of khaotung for wearing a hat inside. Or first and khaotung were wearing hats and the rest were making fun of them??? ideeek but somehow everyone got around to putting on hats. That's why Force has the bunny filter on.
I'm also pretty sure Khaotung told first that he looked cute in the hat after but for some reason it wasn't sincere enough for First??? And he changed hats three times. i know lives are like freestyle and what not but this is one they decided to do in anticipaction of a series premiere where you're generally supposed to stay on the vicinity of the show i seriously doubt this was a scripted thing for fanservice. Especially since First watches his series with Khaotung is a fully established ritual of his. i dont know anything anymore so tl;dr first had a meltdown over hats on ig live because khaotung who is fully inside firsts house said book kasidet looked cute in a hat do with this information what you will
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me when i go to the powice and lawyers uwu but am still stupid enough to make an 11minute video filmed in fucking minecraft f5 mode barely touching on the sexual harrassment claims against me, instead instigating one of my victims, and whining about my previous coworkers for believing very strong claims made against me. me when i spend more time whining about how "controlling" the family friendly public facing business i was a part of is, than explaining my side of the "story" irt sexual misconduct allegations. me when the word "sorry" or "i apologise" arent uttered once and instead i decide to make everyone feel sowwy about meeee >n< without thinking about the fact that my victims' identities and socials are more or less common knowledge and thus can be searched up and as such harrassed way more than I've been with much less of a support system to help them deal with such wide attention. me when im a public figure with power over what basically are my employees but i dont understand that it is wrong to make sexual advances towards them. me when its so obvious ive never had a real job in my whole life considering i complain about being given a short timespan to explain myself to my coworkers who have been told extremely concerning shit about me. girl if it was any other workplace you wouldve been sacked without even a word being uttered to you
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no cuz like -
just WHAT is the nature of these crystals from Blackrock?
How do they effect the user? What makes phighters that use a crystal different from any other?
These questions occured to me when i wanted to rethink my phighting OC, Paths, after i actually found info about and looked into the lore of Phighting (I prioritized making a phighting oc of a gear i actually remember and fondly used. Coil used to be one but.. well- im not challenging the devs they did so much better than what i had in mind.)
mainly my info is sourced from these videos (by TheNamelessAccount) (by manta_mari) thank youuuuu :33


originally, my idea was that Paths was able to generate paths because they owned a crystal. And they're like a shows-person like The Flipside or whatever. I didn't rlly think much for them at all bc i didn't want to set anything in stone without knowing any of the source lore
After knowing what little lore about phighting crystals, i was ready to implement it to Paths until i wondered - does the crystal REALLY make her paths?
First off, every Demon in Inpherno spawns already with their gears and basic knowledge in how to use them
Second, pretty sure not just anybody can have access to it!! There's only one, and the only one's who we know has access to it currently is Subspace
Third - i dont even think materializing is something the crystals do.
but enough about my oc - heres one things about the crystals i noticed.
The way to use a crystal is smth smth yada Horn smth smth idk the fuckinf words leave me alone
: The two phigters we know has a piece of the crystal is Subspace, Medkit and Coil.
For the first two, it being that shiny thingay between their horns.. its cool that Medkit's is shaped like a diamond while subspace's is like a star, and those being the shapes recurring in their design.
I cant tell if the crystal shard has ALWAYS had that form.. (it'll be especially interesting of Subs' shard was always like that) if Subs' was modified, or if they just overtime morph to the shape befitting its user.
(coil art by EasternightF on Twitterx)



for Coil, it being a shard between the bump on his right horn! If you look at the other coil colors, you'll see that it's actually a blue-ish / gray chunk lodged into his color-changing horn
semi unrelated but - what if it doesnt work on his left horn bc his left horn isn't REALLY his horn..? its just a prosthetic decoration so he doesnt stand out.. i mean if it IS his horn, it should've changed colors with his gear shouldn't it...? or maybe im looking too much into it idk. His bandage and clothing change colors too so 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️
And the Biographs technically doesnt count? the crystal is used as its core and im pretty sure the horns are only accessory to make them look more demonoid
i THINK the crystals work by concentrating the summed power/effect of its user's gear? If we're thinking that their ultimates are the result of the crystal's enhancing and thats ONLY what it does
If not, they also enhance by giving buffs to both its user and their surrounding(s) probably. But also idk much abt any of the phighters' abilities.. and also, again, Biograph.
i want your guys' thoughts on trhis......
i rlly wunna finally be satisfied with Paths but before designing her i rlly want to get at least some part of her lore figured out and for that i feel like i have to figure out the crystal thing too decide everything else 😭 (among other things like what even IS their gear...)
eurgghh brain dead.... I'll come babck to. this........ skmetime idk....
Definitions of everything lore i talked abt
(1) Demon: the species all the horned humanoids in Phighting lore is called. Has nothing to do with biblical demons (yet)
(2) Inpherno: the place(country? world?) Phighting takes place in. It contains The Crossroads and the Four Factions. Very big and large (pause. -dont say it.)
#phighting roblox#roblox phighting#phighting#phighting!#phighting oc#phighting lore#ghoust writing#ghoust headcanons#ghoust oc#ghoust art
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Still working on that crossover fic, just veeeeeeeeery slowly (STILL trying to reason things outttt (I should just write and see where it goesss though I only need about 3k more words (<- rough estimate))) Spoilers below (me yammering)
So a specific convo that Andrew and Kevin mayyyy have….. Kevin is probably used to, or at least intentionally distant from, any case of sympathy for the entity. Gotta get it gone, and move on. He doesn’t know that Smiler is named Everette at this point (christ this takes place pre-Into the Mind, how is that possible), but he has seen the videos of Smiler pre well. And it’s like, sucks for the kid, but in Kevin’s mind he just wants to go back to doing his thing.
Interestingly, Andrew doesnt seem to acknowledge the videos of Smiler before the well in any videos. SO maybe Kevin brings it up nonchalantly and Andrew is like “Huh. that griefed world was Smiler’s??????” and while I don't think Andrew would do a complete 180 for Smiler, he would find himself begrudgingly sympathetic (especially if Into the Mind hasnt happened yet, though It All Comes Leaking In and everything else still doesn't make him sympathetic enough, even with pre-well Smiler knowledge.)
So its like, hey, doesnt getting rid of this kid kinda feel bad? from a reader point of view at least. I feel bad, but that's because I know more than the characters! Like what other way does Kevin really have? He removes things. He's gotta remove Smiler (and by extension this Call of the Well thing) Especially since Kevin just kinda faces the problem head on (lets see what I can do: get outta here stick, removes an entire chunk, exorcise Casey yourself alongside clients, DDOS Souler)
Again the audience knows Smiler’s deal, and I don't know how to like Realistically approach this while giving Smiler a happy ending while keeping everything in character (as happy an ending Smiler can get at this point) Hell maybe being removed from this thing is what truly gives him the peace to move on. Or maybe he cant (too many regrets too many hangups)
Maybe it involves Kevin countering everything Smiler does and he breaks Smiler down so far that he reverts to his old, scared, hurt, lonely, angry kid self that regrets what he’s become (before doubling down with Chris and Andrew cause what else can he do?)
Maybe end it off comedically man just send Smiler to therapy dawg (Kevin knows a guy for situations like these)
also Kevin maybe dont off-handedly mention that Chris is dead (he will unintentionally, which will be very awkward. Andrew has NOT moved on bruh he will cry on the spot)
Would also be funny if like, Chris and Smiler cant. Actually move on. Like theyre just stuck in minecraft… Would be very funny if Andrew goes through he letting go of the past arc and it just turns out his former best friend is stuck inside a game forever. Whoopsies! Also some kid that fucked with you for the entire series. The entities are not removed Kevin do your job smh
AUnyways thats it bye bye
#tropical's yapping#collinlock16#minecraft arg but the protagonist is tired#andrewgaming67#I will finish this one way or another it's just been a very slow slog and crawl#I just like to send my thoughts out into the ether#au#crossover
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Artrick x theater kid moodboard?
ARTRICK MOODBOARD + HC’S ᥫ᭡
─────── ୨ৎ ───────









─────── ୨ৎ ───────
ᯓᡣ𐭩 theyre your biggest supporters, full stop.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 art is at EVERY single show with a bouquet of flowers in hand, ready to congratulate you and give you a giant hug afterwards. dosent matter if you were the lead or if you had one line, hes there (even if you only helped with the sets, he’s still there)
ᯓᡣ𐭩 patrick does his best to make it to your shows, but he’s on the road a lot for tennis, so he dosent always make it. he feels so guilty but he always makes a point of video calling you before a show while youre getting your hair and makeup done when he cant be there !!
ᯓᡣ𐭩 every time he demands art record the entire show for him to watch after, even if it isnt allowed. art has gotten in trouble for this multiple times
ᯓᡣ𐭩 when he CAN make it though, you know it. he cheers and claps louder then anyone when you come onto stage, when you make a joke, even if it isnt that funny, he’s cackling, and he has gotten into a whisper fight turned accidentally too-loud argument when someone was talking during one of your big moments. (he apologised to you profusely afterwards)
ᯓᡣ𐭩 art has so many ticket stubs from your performances, that he now has a small box dedicated to only them, since there just isnt enough space on the wall (it’s probably definitely got some cheesy label with your name and a bunch of hearts and drawings on the lid) (he isnt ashamed)
ᯓᡣ𐭩 if youre doing a shakespearian play, theyre in the audience doing their best to understand whats going on. if its a musical, they are whooping and cheering every single time you hit a hard note.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 ALWAYS reassuring you and comforting you. you accidentally messed up your words on stage ? no one even noticed ! pre-show jitters ?? you’re going to do amazing, they just know it !!
ᯓᡣ𐭩 theyre at every rehearsal they can be. its nice to watch you in your element !! plus seeing you out of breath and sweaty from the choreography isnt so bad either
ᯓᡣ𐭩 patrick CONSTANTLY talking about how good you look in the costumes and asking if they would REALLY notice if you were to take it home for just one night. everytime you say yes and that you cant but hes slowly wearing you down
ᯓᡣ𐭩 if theres any moment where you have to kiss someone else on stage, theyre doing their BEST to stay calm and supportive (they KNOW its just acting, they DO) but its hard. they’re silently fuming in their seats until they can see you again, and if theyre a little more touchy then normal ? well, that dosent seem like SUCH a bad thing…
ᯓᡣ𐭩 you have definitely almost been caught in compromising positions with them by excited co-stars coming to congratulate you after a show. every time you tell the boys its not going to happen again, but you all know youre lying.
─────── ୨ৎ ───────
Notes. ᡣ𐭩
╰┈➤ aughhh !!! i really hope this is okay !! tbh ive never actually been involved in any kind of theatre (im WAYY too shy for that 😭😭) but i LOVED this prompt !! i just think its so cute !! i hope i did it justice with my limited knowledge <33 also just a fair warning for the other moodboards im going to do !! they are probably NOT going to be this detailed !! 😭😭 i really dont know what came over me for this but i just couldnt stop the words from coming !!
#but i hope you like it wifey !! <33#i was SO struggling to find photos that work !!!#i had a clear idea in mind but pinterest just wasnt on my side </33#i hope its good anyways tho !!#idy11ics moodboards <33#idy11ics hc’s <33#challengers#artrick x reader
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tmagp 16 relisten notes!!
spoilers for ep 16 under the cut, and also some tma spoilers as well since i cross-reference for theories! :)
celia:
- she physically and verbally comforts alice even though they've had some rocky interactions in the recent past, and she comes off as genuine when giving alice her support
- "i believe you/im serious" -> there isn't a glitch after these lines, and i think its fair to say celia is from the tma universe, the question now is how much she knows/understands/remembers from the fearpocolypse
sam:
- despite being more distant with alice in recent episodes, he's still helping her and checking up on her
- "so that would be Z for zombie?" i thought this was a cute little callback, but also isolated the line because its the first instance we have of sam initiating a bit/joke and alice failing to continue it
- he checks in on alice after they hear Madam E die in the incident and leaves his desk with celia to see about her after she leaves
alice:
- "i haven't seen someone die since..." im taking this to mean that she saw one or both of her parents die and a part of why the drowning victim has shaken her so hard is because its a flashback to those memories
- the woman she met in the alleyway was announced dead by the paramedics immediately, they said she had a lot of water in her lungs and discounted the possibility she could walk or speak
- "maybe that i'm finally losing it" -> i dont think alice is as knowledgeable about the paranormal as we think. she definitely knows more than shes letting on, but i suspect whatever she knows is specific to the oiar and whatever power has touched her life. similar to georgie in tma s3, she knew the paranormal existed and trusted in jon's circumstances but she had little context for her belief, since the only fear she had encountered before was the end. i think alice is operating under a similar world view, and this event does make her question her sanity (shes mentioned old coworkers going odd before, and i think its a genuine worry she has for herself as well as sam and celia)
- she's very blunt and obviously upset after the incident ends, leaving to go get coffee and rebuffing sam as he tries to see about her
gwen:
- she's frustrated that the rest of the team left after the incident and she's alone in the office, and becomes even more aggravated by lena interrupting this to berate her
- she defends lady mowbray's civility (after lena calls externals dangerous) by saying shes a real lady, implying that since she's nobility she wouldn't behave rashly (like mr. bonzo)
- she's frustrated that lena is reprimanding her for breaking a rule she was never told about, and isn't given enough information to gauge risk on her own
- she expresses stress over the real dangers of her job, feeling its unfair she's expected to talk to externals alone without training when they're too dangerous and unpredictable to visit the offices
- despite all of her concerns, she still demands to keep her position and continue her work
lena:
- she's very (reasonably) angry at gwen for inviting lady mowbray to the office
- she says that bringing externals to the office is dangerous and poses risks to personnel
- she explains that the operation to keep balance with the externals, and to exercise power over them, is dependent on how they keep relationships with them. as in, the externals have to be kept at an arms length and not introduced to internal affairs staff to avoid losing the fear and respect the oiar exerts over them. without control over the externals, they lose balance and they may become targets
- she agrees to think on training gwen for a full position as the externals liason
incident:
- narrated by chester/jon, i think this falls into his normal thematic elements of curiosity killing the cat
- most of the incident is told through youtube video format, voiced by the influencer 'Madam E', a goth (im assuming beauty and lifestyle vlog influencer?) youtuber. She got to know ink5oul through online connections
- she received a heart tattoo (unsure of the placement, but i was imagining it over her real heart or ribcage?)
- the tattoo process seems incredibly painful even in this circumstance, and just like in ep 2, the recipient doesnt seem to know the design theyll get until they wake up from the session
- i think the heart tattoo (called the heart's desire by ink5oul) played a role in manipulated Madam E's emotions for them, seeing as how they began a (using ajn's exact terms) situationship following the session
- when Madam E questions ink5oul about how they come up w their design concepts they get cagey and won't disclose their secret method, but offer Madam E a chance to grave rob with them (assuming this is related to the design process)
- "dig." [bruh!] gave me hp damage
- "don't make me break your heart" this is obviously referring to the tattoo and her emotional state, but i think it ties into the tattoo manipulating the subject -> "i could feel the words in my chest"
- Madam E throws out the idea that ink5oul is stealing tattoo concepts from dead bodies, but i dont think thats the exact case. i think that bodies like the one found in ep 11 feed into ink5oul's power and creativity as inspiration and likely as a paranormal energy source of some kind, but this seems more akin to them studying the works of old important artists (and alchemists) and using those techniques to create their art
- ink5oul responds with a callout video targeting Madam E, and i suspect it was about her accusing them of stealing art, not about the grave robbing (which seems a bigger insult to me)
- "it hurts/ i can feel it" referencing the hate messages she's receiving while touching her heart. she then leans forward to show the camera you can physically see a difference (im assuming her tattoo was altered in some way)
- Madam E posted and recalled a video titled "help", then posts a video from a hospital bed where she is clearly ill, stating she has heart problems. the doctors said it was an infection from the tattoo
- she dies on-screen after coughing and choking, but theres a slushie cracking sound as she flatlined (what i'de call wet gore not dry gore) which indicates a problem messier and more visceral than regular heart issues
glitches/lies:
none
extra comments:
- as expected, ink5oul is going to be a reoccurring character functioning similar to a tma avatar. i don't think ink5oul is an external since they seem to be moving independently with their own agenda (and its clear they don't play well with others)
- there seems to be a rift forming between gwen and the rest of her coworkers, and she's been reacting hostile to both them and lena, but has been adamant about continuing her work with the externals. isolating herself from the others while conducting her own missions is a plotline johhny and alex explored plenty in tma (jon, basira, martin) so im excited to see how her journey branches from the themes they've already explored
- this incident falls into line with others chester has narrated, it deals with a person who sought out a relationship with the paranormal and got hurt because of it, though this seems to be targeted at alice moreso than sam (the person chester has narrated to the most), sending a message about how entanglement with the paranormal often leads to bad things. i also picked up on how Madam E says that comments, likes, and views specifically cause her harm, that her social reward had turned into a punishment. this is a pretty clear parallel to alice's situation with sam and celia (she's loosing her hold as the nonchalant, uncaring, funny girl and falling into more awkward and upsetting situations -> this episode she makes one half hearted joke about the victim she met before she moves on)
- huge shout out to ajn for the meta parallels in this episode. every time Madam E was hurt by a commebt i was also brutally stabbed by her garish use of slang. with every new sentence she spoke i felt hours of my lifespan dissolve, truly incredible writing in terms of twisting the meta knife and pouring lemon juice into it
- i think this falls into the category of 'body' (going off of the alchemic trinity of mind, body, and soul) but i could see an argument for any of these categories as well. in the episode, the incident is a category 1, but im not sure if these categories are a reference to the alchemic trinity, to externals, or other factors.
#tmagp#the magnus protocol#tmagp theory#tmagp spoilers#alice dyer#gwen bouchard#sam khalid#celia ripley#lena kelley#ink5oul
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So brainwashed Callie in official content is cringe. Do you feel the same about it in Fanfiction? Have there been any takes on Hypno Callie that you enjoyed?
Honestly? I don't feel the same way about it in fanfiction. There's a lot of information and different takes floating around about certain things in the franchise so I dont necessarily blame people for using the word "brainwashed" for Callie in their fanfiction. The English localisation of Splatoon has said she was brainwashed despite other languages and the original Japanese version not using the word. At least from my own knowledge. So I get why most fans would take that information and immediately believe it's true.
Plus there's more people talking about what actually happened to Callie on twitter and tumblr which is really incredible to see!!! Im so happy to see Callie being treated with more respect!!!!! It is a night and day difference compared to the treatment in 2017 to 2020.

Surprisingly enough I don't actually consume a lot of fanfiction. I can read my own writing easily but I can't read others that well and... I feel really bad about it... but I have read a bit of this one fanfiction that got Hypno Callie 99% right. I fucking forgot the name but i was recommended it by someone in the past, it had "dome" in the name? It was about DJ Octavio and the Octarian domes.
The way they explained the shades was actually really interesting and unique! It's basically shades that play catchy music and that's how Callie got hypnotised. It fits in line with DJ Octavio too as he's well... a DJ. Plus daydreaming and listening to music goes hand in hand so it has some basis in reality too. Everyone at some point has been put into a daydream state when vibing out to music.
Although I say 99% because there's this one line that Callie says, "Are these shades brainwashing me?" And it was so clunky I'm sorry LOL. And there's this implication that its also doing something further to Callie's brain but it's not that explained well, which i really dont like. Other than that, my Hypno Callie content is mainly fanart and 99% of that has been phenomenonal and powerful stuff.
However.... my biggest fucking gripe in "fan content" if you wanna call it that is... timeline videos and people going over plot details and stuff like that.
These people actually do RESEARCH and spend a lot of time analysing the story of Splatoon and trying to put the pieces together. Yet for Callie it feels like they just do a quick read through of Inkipedia and that's it because they dont give a flying fuck about her character. It drives me fucking psychotic and i cant be safe watching Splatoon videos anymore. How hard is it to say hypnotised? HOW HARD IS IT?!?!?! JUST USE THAT WORD!!! THATS ALL YOU HAVE TO DO!!! GOD DAMN!!!! DO YOU EVEN KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD BRAINWASHED AT ALL?!?!?!
It's really disappointing to me that this outdated timeline video is the ONLY VIDEO to say Callie was hypnotised and not "brainwashed." And that... makes me kinda pissed off.

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE CHOSEN ONE!!!!

YOU TOO!!!!
I can't even watch these videos anymore man. I'm sad. I'm not even trying to send hate over to them, they put in a lot of work... except for a character I really care about....
Imagine you like a particular character and you feel really strongly about them. Now Imagine people saying wrong or yucky things about that character and treating it as fact despite you knowing "Hey something is not right here. I think there's more here than people realise." And all the most popular and well liked content is spreading that kind of information around about your favourite character. It would drive you crazy yeah? I'm sure everyone has that one character in every fanbase.
Anyways, thanks for the ask! Sorry if it was long... I tend to ramble about Hypno Callie LOL! (Autism)
#splatoon#callie cuttlefish#callie splatoon#ask blog#ask me stuff#ask me anything#splatoon 2#hypno callie#octo callie#rant post#fanfiction#sorry for the rant#long post#text post#dj octavio#octarians#autistic rambling
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i dont even want to reblog purely informational posts about hamas' most recent psychological terror move because it just so cruel and vile and horrible that... i just do not want to expose people to it. i just can't. i don't want people to see it. but i am thinking about it. i dont know if i'll be able to go to sleep tonight just knowing what happened there. i havent even seen the video itself just like i havent seen the oct 7th videos because just the knowledge of what is in them is bad enough and i don't think i could like... emotionally survive seeing it.
in general i try not to put stuff on this blog that's graphic or shocking and especially not if it's stuff that's upsetting to me even if i feel it needs to be seen and shared because its the kind of thing where really i believe seeing it is a choice one should make knowingly and have full agency in being exposed to. but there are also times when i just want to scream about it all because it feels like it really just does remain completely unheard by anyone outside of the jewish community and i just dont know how to make ourselves heard otherwise if not by screaming and shoving it in people's faces. how do you make people-- reasonable, well-meaning people who fully believe they are in the right, who claim they believe the things that you believe-- understand and hear us, when we say 'this is what is happening on our own soil, to our families, to our loved ones, and this is what you are victim-blaming us for and saying we're overreacting to.'
#the antisemites and the tankies and the altrighters and all their hateful ilk are awful#but it is the people who are supposed to be your allies and friends that really really hurt.
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Mmm i *love* winter but...
Welcome to another life update woah...really just more of a minor vent about current situation. :]
...Sooo my house's furnace crapped out on us shortly before christmaaaas...and we haven't had heat since. My mom hired an older guy to come fix it a few days after christmas - he tried, it worked for a (singular) day and then crapped out again. .-. FIrst because my mom doesnt technically have the money to replace the furnace - Second, after my mom decided to use money she'll need very soon for the heat, we found out he's gotten sick. Like, cold/flu type sick but because he's elderly, he may have to get some extra help for it and will definitely need a good bit of recovery time before he can even come back to take another look (and subsequently order the part/parts/whole ass furnace needed so we can wait another weekish for it to arrive).
so basically
im not gonna have heat in home for another few weeks, probably.
in the middle of winter....in Northeastern US...and the kicker? the first night without heat was THE coldest day/night of the season so far in my state (to my knowledge), and we have since had multiple snowy days (not horribly, thank God. Only one day was bad enough i almost couldnt go to work) and most days have been sub freezing temps through the daytime. Thankfully, our home is not THAT cold, but we needed to get a space heater for the living room where our rabbits are to keep it from getting too cold for them there.
Thankfully also, my one brother already had a heated blanket, i have a heated pad (that i had abandoned until this incident and had not yet discared), and my little brother can sleep on the couch with the space heater. Its not much, its still uncomfortably cold ,but we are able to make-do for the time being.
It just makes focusing on much of anything difficult to keep up with ^^; and also makes staying asleep through the night hard. My heating pad shuts itself off after 2 hrs, so eventually that nice toasty goodness on my chest or legs fades into the unforgiving cold of "frick you for trying to be comfortable" so i keep waking up every couple of hours to turn the pad back on. I'll be in a pinch if this pad breaks from overuse or if i break it while asleep with it :']
Speaking of sleep though...
After seeing a video from a girl in TN i'd been watching clean her family's home and trying to make it liveable, share videos of her house having burned down completely after a leak caused an electrical fire - and after seeing news of the wildfires in CA;
I had a dream last night that while i was out with my family having a grand ol time (and feeling anxious over something i couldnt place), we came home in the evening to see the upper floor of the house in flames. .-. Which had me waking up both upset from watching my childhood home (and all my art history in it) burn with no funds to start over, and also paranoid that my house too might have a ticking time bomb problem.
So this, and other reasons, make sleep REALLY not my friend the last few weeks.
I dont know if i mentioned it here before, but im also 99% sure i have a condition called Reynaud's Syndrome because 1. My mom has it, 2. its hereditary, and 3. her symptoms for it line up with mine (she thought i was also officially diagnosed, but i looked at my records and i dont think so unless im looking in the wrong place). Regardless of diagnosis - My hands and feet are sensitive to temperature extremes, particularly cold, and this has caused extra stiffness in my fingers, pain in my hands at times unrelated to or exaggerating my other pain issues, and also has my digits lookin kinda zombie-ish at times (reynauds causes discoloration at times). Thankfully, I'm also not in a flare up for my reynauds, which has happened while at work before this, so my experience typically is mild and has been through this ordeal. I do experience worse symptoms while working and being exposed to the outside cold and wind in bits, then returning to room temp/warmer air and having the flip flop cause weirder symptoms, all of which are a side tangent.
I'm mostly doing fine otherwise tho
My boyfriend-not boyfriend (the boyfriend that broke up with me ish but we've still been friends and clearly were still interested and didnt really want to split) took me back up as his on new years, making a childhood dream come true (I had my first new years kiss tee hee). I'm also working on a project that may or may not be finished in time to submit it to a contest. I did actually buy a car a (few?) month(s?) ago now, i think i said that here before. Trying not to succumb to the feeling that I'll be stuck in a never ending cycle of everything more personal going on that i will not be traumadumping here while also preparing to celebrate and reflect on 4 years post choosing life over death very shortly (Yay me).
I've been learning to not care as much about the opinions of those around me. I've also been learning to get back in touch with my inner child because dammit she deserves a chance to live and breathe. I'm learning that writing poetry is something I want to explore more, and I'm learning that I actually do like drawing myself and I like to explore personal themes and inner struggles through drawing myself in new inventive ways (and making an experimental drawing out of it). I'm learning to be comfortable in my changing body while still understanding that some of my habits are unhealthy and, when I have the control to do so, should be altered. I'm learning to give myself grace, and through giving myself grace and room to breathe, its easier to do so for others.
Lots of good stuff with the bad ^^
but im gonna end my ramble here
Update's over, goodnight, everybody go home.
-Bee
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