#you don't want to break their back
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mourning black and the death of ideals
#i haven't moved on from this yet. btw. i'm still here#finally decided to draw the thought i've been ruminating over for days on end bc it's like a parasite eating away my brain#stated this on the initial post i made days ago but there's just smt so gut wrenching and sickening#about how dazai will have worn black exactly twice in his life: once as a member of the mafia and now at kunikida's funeral#a color that initially signified devotion to the mafia and his demon prodigy alias now signifies his grief#him having to wear black again at the funeral of another doomed fatalist who chose his heart over his survival. his own partner.#kunikida's death being so reminiscent of the tragedy that initially caused him to defect and flee#and everything tying together full circle and effectively breaking him#asagiri rly said fuck knkdz it's doppover we lost gang 😭😭😭#why did bro leave that fucking notebook behind#fool. do you know that angst potential you have left me to work with?#love never won in bsd. it lay dead and festering#i don't know how much longer i can keep saying i miss them. i'm going to kill myself if he doesn't come back#i've never wanted something to be death bait so desperately#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#(??? technically. its implied anyway)#lotus draws
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🔖 pictures from the family photo album
#ts4#sims 4#daithí lore drop while kmiks on break <3#i've got brainrot#i gotta go back through my blog and make character tags soon#don't look at the hammer in pic 2#i didn't do the uv properly when i converted it to accessory#its a bit warped but it'll do#also shan i got your ask thank you for sending it <3<3 sorry i didn't reply yet#i've gotta travel to a neighboring county for a few days and i'm in a bit of a slump about it#i wanted to add more to this post but i also wanted to post it before i left#so here it is#this is queued i'm not gonna be around for the next week or so <3#/daithí
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There are multiple gods in the game that you can directly interact with and they all have ties to the narrative. You can interact with Shar via Shadowheart. You can interact with Mystra via Gale. You can interact with Myrkul via Ketheric when he takes on the avatar form. You can interact with Bhaal via Durge and in the fight with Orin. You can interact with Bane after killing Gortash and using "Speak with Dead" in which the soul you speak to is not Gortash, but Bane himself. I would include Vlaakith in this list but Vlaakith is not a god, she is a lich presenting herself as a god. And, of course, there is the Absolute which doesn't really become a god until it ascends into the Netherbrain (although that is debatable).
But, did you know that Lolth will also interact with you? As far as I am aware, Lolth is the only non-story related god in which you do have interactions with. One of them is only available if you are a Lolth-sworn drow, and the other is only available if you are a Cleric of Lolth (you do not need to be Lolth-sworn for it).
The first instance is in the goblin camp with the spiders in the pit. This does require that you are a Lolth-sworn drow and that you have the ability to speak with animals. When talking to the spiders, you will have the option to present yourself to the spiders as Lolth herself. If you fail the persuasion check, Lolth gets pissed off as she was listening to you and is not happy that you tried to present yourself as her. And she tells the spiders you are an imposter and they attack you. But if you succeed the check, Lolth doesn't do anything and the spiders will think you are Lolth. So, Lolth doesn't really have a problem with you pretending to be her. But if you are going to pretend to be her, you better do it right. If the spiders think you are Lolth, you can ask them about what's going on in the goblin camp and the spiders only talk about one thing. They immediately tell you that there is another drow in the camp who has forgotten her way and that she is forsaken. And, as I said, Lolth is here. She heard the spiders admit this. Lolth does nothing about it.
The second instance is in the Underdark with the Phalar Aluve. When you interact with the sword, you have two different checks, a Strength check and a Religion check. If you do the Strength check, you can just pull it out of the stone and be on your merry way. If you perform the Religion check, the narrator will tell you different things depending on certain conditions. If you are a Lolth-sworn drow and/or a Cleric of Lolth, the narrator will tell you that the religious rite to pull the blade from the stone is blasphemous as it pays honor to the weak. If you are of any other race and/or cleric of any other god, the narrator will tell you that the sword is of Eilistraee and the rite pays honor to the fallen. The religious rite is that you spill a little bit of your blood and the sword will rise out of the stone on its own. If you do this as a Cleric of Lolth (you don't need to be Lolth-sworn) you will feel hundreds of spiders crawl all over you as Lolth is warning you not to do shit like that ever again. Not only did you perform the religious rite of another god, you performed the religious rite of a god she hates. And she is letting you know how much she hated that.
These are the only two instances in the game that I have found in which Lolth interacts with the player but there are plenty of other moments in which Lolth could interact with you, but doesn't (such as with the Phase Spider, the baby spiders in Grymforge, Kar'niss, or the dead spider in the Gauntlet of Shar). Of these two moments where Lolth does interact with you, one of these instances is in the goblin camp, and the other is in the Underdark not too far away from the goblin camp. I don't think it is much of a coincidence that these two interactions occur in close proximity to Minthara. Almost as if Lolth has a reason to be in that area specifically to watch and monitor things, and you just so happened to be there. And the only things that compel her to interact with you is because you pissed her off. But, as long you don't piss her off, she will do nothing and she will say nothing.
When Minthara was being tortured by the Absolute, she prayed to Lolth and begged Lolth to give her the strength to fight her enemies. But Lolth does nothing and Lolth says nothing. In fact, that was the full extent of Lolth's "punishment" for Minthara, nothing. All Lolth did was not answer Minthara's prayers and not show up when Minthara needed her the most. Lolth did not torture Minthara like the Absolute did, Lolth did not turn her into a drider, nor did Lolth eat her. All she did, was nothing. And yes, Lolth is known for abandoning drow and no longer interacting with them. A drow has to do something incredibly awful in order for Lolth to just back away from them entirely. But you cannot convince me that Lolth is going to let one of her Baenre's go so easily. It's not as if Minthara has done anything truly awful either to make Lolth that mad.
According to Minthara, she herself has sinned against the Spider Queen, but it's not as if she chose to abandon Lolth, she was forced away and mind controlled into being devoted to another god. But would this make a difference to Lolth? Does it really matter if Minthara was compelled to have faith in another god besides Lolth? It isn't until Minthara is freed and feels the absence of Lolth that she chooses to no longer follow Lolth. Minthara even mentions how turning against Lolth is a big no-no in Menzoberranzan. Minthara herself at one point has hunted down and killed those who turn their backs from Lolth so she knows the same will be done to her if she were to ever return home. In fact, if you are a Lolth-sworn drow or a Cleric of Lolth, you are given unique dialogue options with Minthara to kill her because she is a traitor to Lolth and these options continue to show up until you recruit her into your party and she joins your roster. Despite all of this, Lolth does nothing. Minthara spews anti-Lolth rhetoric left and right, and Lolth does nothing. If you take Minthara to the tabernacle, she will spit on a shrine to Lolth, and Lolth does nothing.
Minthara is also able to walk through the Gauntlet of Shar, which is in the Underdark, and Lolth does nothing. Sure, you could argue that its connection to the Shadowfell and the fact that Shar is there via Shadowheart is enough to keep Lolth away. The lore of DnD does not make it quite clear what the relationship between these two goddesses are. But I am willing to bet that Lolth is smart enough not to step on Shar's toes because Shar would annihilate her. However, there is a small little section of the Gauntlet where it actually does spit you out directly into the Underdark and into Lolth's territory. Minthara can walk right out there just fine, and Lolth does nothing.
But most importantly, Minthara's default ending is her returning to the Underdark with the sole purpose of destroying House Baenre and then killing Lolth. Destroying House Baenre could lead to a chaotic and political disaster in Menzoberranzan, and Lolth does nothing. Minthara quite literally wants to kill Lolth and has intentions to do so after taking House Baenre, and Lolth. Does. Nothing!
If Minthara goes into the Underdark and destroys House Baenre, this will cause chaos and death. And the Baenre's won't be the only ones she has to destroy, but any and all allies of House Baenre in which they do have a lot. And Lolth will feed off of all the death and carnage and chaos that Minthara is about to bring to Menzoberranzan because Lolth loves chaos more than she hates traitors.
Maybe, Lolth has not abandoned her as Minthara thinks she has. Maybe, Lolth has done nothing and said nothing because Minthara has not actually upset her. Maybe, Lolth has done nothing and said nothing because Minthara is already doing everything Lolth wants her to do. And all it took, was making Minthara think that Lolth abandoned her. There was no need for Lolth to answer Minthara's prayers, because Minthara always had the strength to fight her enemies.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#minthara#minthara baenre#evil murder kitten#this game is all about the cycles of abuse and the characters choosing to break the wheel or continue the cycle#minthara is an example of someone who continues to cycle because she doesn't see that there is any other option#and the alternatives leave her vulnerable to abuse or death#she has had enough abuse in her life and most certainly does not want to die#when presented with the opportunity to rebound - either through bhaal or the absolute#she will choose it in a heartbeat as it is all she knows and she's familiar with it#if lolth ever speaks to minthara again - and welcomes and embraces her with open arms#i think minthara would completely relapse and devote herself once more to lolth because it is all she knows#and she expresses missing lolth and not knowing who she is or what to do without her#the only things that can pull minthara away from this relapse is you and her devotion to you#you are the only thing that can stop her from going back to lolth or embracing any of the other gods out of fear#because you are her reason to stay on the surface and you show her it is possible to defy the gods and live#you show her it is possible to have an identity outside of godly worship and that it is possible to live for one self#and to be devoted to one self#if you go with her to the underdark and successfully conquer house baenre and make your own house in its place#she's doing it entirely for the two of you#and i don't think she would accept lolths embrace and would continue to defy her
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feeling mushy about them today....
#these are some more pose redraws.... that and i wanted to draw them in my regular style#ugh i wanna draw them more but i'm gonna take a lil break so i don't get burned out before artfight#i love getting to draw them hugging and shit i need to do it more#whenever i get through my s2 rewatch and draw the ' hey kuroba i'm back from hell ' scene it's gonna be over for all you bitches—#the bitches is directed at myself i'm gonna die bc even just thinking about it kills me#osomatsu-san#osmt#yumematsu#karamatsu#mj ocs#oc : kuroba#ship : kurokara#mj draws
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god i know i said i was tired of making eveerything sad but just imagine timber those first few months of reconnecting and they're both drunk on tim's boat, laying on the deck staring up at the stars and bear turns over to look at tim, his eyes are sad and wet, and he reaches out to touch tim's face as if to make sure tim is really there and not an illusion and tim whispers, "bear?" and bernard smiles a little brokenly and goes, "so how long do i have you for this time?"
#tim fully sober now: what do you mean? i'm right here bear#bear still drunk: i got you for almost a whole year last time. how long before you leave this time?#bear: 2 years? 6 months?#tim sadly: you can have me forever bear#bear laughing: i don't even get you that long in my dreams#bear smiles reaching out to poke tim's face: don't worry tim! anytime you want to come back‚ i'll be right here.#god tim who's constantly leaving and bear who knows but cant help letting him comeback into his life again and again#you cannot tell me that bear went to that first date in urban legends expecting tim to stay#he went to that date expecting to get his heart broken again but he loves this boy so he goes anyway#tim who always leaves and bear who waits patiently everytime#sorry im like sobbing in the library#bear is so 'right where you left me' coded#bear who loves tim so much he'll let tim break his heart again and again#head in hands head in hands#dc#tim drake#bernard dowd#timbern#timber
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I haven't felt very motivated to draw lately (what chronic fatigue does to a guy 😔) but I have cracked open my sketchbook a few times. Mostly to doodle TBC.
#I don't draw on paper much anymore tbh#bc now that i have the option to fully line and color things digitally if I'm gonna spend time on art I'd rather go all the way#but i probably should get back into the habit. it's relaxing sometimes to draw something without fussing over it#also i drew blackstar recently while bored during my break at work and tried to redraw him digitally later and it just doesn't look as good#it really is easier to get things the exact shape you want during the sketching phase#which is why i want to make my digital art a little more relaxed and lean into sketches for lineart#but it just never works? idk#I don't feel like I really have the mind or eye for art sometimes. idk how to explain it#I don't really know how to experiment with my style or make changes? how do people learn that#anyway I'm rambling#i really enjoy drawing but I'm pretty art blocked recently bc I'm so tired all the time and kinda feel like? idk how to draw? dunno#my art#shadowsight#bristlefrost#rootspring#snowtuft#lionblaze
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For the record, I've gotten another ask that is complaining that I am encouraging people to branch out and experiment with original fiction vs fanfiction for the short story events -- that is to say, the events that consist of four, 5k short stories in a month, NOT me telling people they have to write 30k original words in November. If you read it that way, please go back and re-read the original posts.
It has part of this blog from day 1 that fanfiction is not only included and embraced in this challenge alongside technical and non-fiction writing, and if you take me encouraging people to also give original fiction *a try* on one of the mini challenges as a personal attack of some kind, I'm not sure what to say.... except I'm not going to have my inbox filled with this.
Re-read my biggest, top post, where I literally included Fanfiction and technical, non-fiction writing as fully fledged options on the literal announcement post of this blog.
I do not hate fanfiction, I do not look down on fanfiction, and I read and write plenty of it myself.
Suggesting that people might consider writing a short original story for one of the 5k a week challenges is not me attacking fanfiction or fanfiction writers, because I literally am one.
I am not going to be engaging in any further asks that act like I am browbeating or guilting people into not writing fanfiction or that I am "looking down on fanfiction writers".
I've responded privately to probably a dozen different blogs who asked about fanfiction since this blog began and forgot those dozen responses weren't visible to the rest of Tumblr, so it looked like the only times I had mentioned it at all were when I got asked twice in 24 hours about it.
Its been on the announcement post of this blog since day one that fanfiction is allowed along with any other form of writing.
If you are mad at me for encouraging people to give original writing a try for a writing contest alongside fanfiction then idk man 🤷
#novella november#anti ai#guys. go back and read my announcement post. go back and reread the post where I responded to the question. I ENCOURAGE and RECOMMEND#fanfiction#just like everything else with this event prompts and bonus challenges are all optional#if you want to get up in arms then don't do it in my inbox#do I demand it? do I require it??? no!#that people branch out of their comfort zones and experiment with turning one of the 5k word short stories into original fiction#the tags are all out of order but idc I just wasted my whole lunch break on this during a nine hour shift
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Today, May 23rd, is Robin's birthday!
Happy birthday, Robin!
#UTDR#UTY#Kindness Soul#UTDR OC#Robin#Doodles#Temporary break in my hiatus to post this because??#Before 'events' that led to my need of a long term break this was planned ages ago#Robin's birthday is the 23rd of May!#I didn't want my current episode to ruin this special thing I had planned bc quite frankly I love this character#I made her with a lot of love and care and I wanted to make something fun for the birthday I planned out for her#However I am a little bummed that I don't have the time energy or mental state to make something bigger#This day unfortunately snuck up on me pretty quickly#There was meant to be an event of sorts on the Guns and Aprons blog for this day but as you can see?? There's no time#I plan to have one anyway in the future when I'm well enough and have the time to work on it#In the meantime I hope you enjoy this art I managed to complete!#Alright. There will be no more breaks in my hiatus. I'll be back when I can stomach being back.#Ciao 💕
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I’m rereading Po3 and despite its flaws I really enjoyed the introduction to the three. Jaykit isn’t mentioned to be blind in the first few chapters and instead they chose to show how much MORE capable he is compared to his littermates; until at the end of chapter 3, he brings up his blindness on his own. It makes forcing him to be a medicine cat SO much more frustrating because it really feels like they’re setting him up to be a warrior and choose his own fate (note i haven’t finished the reread this is just my first impression)
I like how you seem to take that path in BB regardless! It makes his arc so much more enjoyable
His arc in canon is super frustrating because he's such an independent character who clearly wants to make his own decisions in life, but then he just gets shoved into the medcat den. I LIKE that he ultimately goes there and that he enjoys it; but it was still really fucked up that they stripped away his autonomy in the process.
Re: they are not real, they are writing choices. Taking away the choices a disabled character can make over their own life, forcing them into a celibate nun role, and then going "awwwww dont worry see? he likes it! This was the best thing for him :)" was fucked up.
And imo it didn't have to be that way! You wouldn't have to go the FULL route I did with big changes, he could just be more involved in the descision to stop being a warrior apprentice and it would be fine. Minor change that would make a world of difference.
I do also have to interject to say though... blindness should really not be an extremely severe impairment for a ThunderClan cat.
I'm dead serious.
Whiskers are built-in sensors that tell you the exact position of everything within several inches of your head, ears swerve to pick up sound, and the jacobson's organ provides a sense of smell so keen that I have an entire Clanmew expansion draft because I needed to make WORDS describing the power of this sense that humans do not have. I cannot stress enough how delicate their other senses are, felines do not rely on their sight like primates do
ThunderClan lives in a mixed-oak woodland, where sight is already often obscured by foliage, objects are close together (for whiskers to feel), and nearly every movement makes noise against the leaf litter. RiverClan and (moor-running) WindClan cats would have a harder time with this disability than Thunder or Shadow.
Cat sight SUCKS to begin with. It sucks BADDD. They don't have color vision, they're significantly nearsighted, and they can't track up-and-down movements well. WC doesn't write realistic cats (more like small fuzzy people really) and I also work with more humanesque eyesight, but the only thing Jay should really lose is an ability to rapidly track a small animal swerving fast. Blind cats are often still excellent hunters in spite of that!
So it's an extra big waste that they railroaded him into a position he didn't choose, saying he couldn't be a warrior. This is the perfect disability to write, if you want to explore how ableism can impact the characters in this society who ARE legitimately still capable of nearly full independence, but still need to find accommodations for what they can't do.
In the same arc they're doing the dumb Cinder Reincarnation Plotline, no less!! Where SHE is also feeling like she has no choice over her "destiny," and gets a conflict over a potentially disabling injury
"Oh nooo if cinderpaw breaks her leg she wont be a warrior!"
"What the f-- Im Jaypaw and im reporting live from the scene where a Category 1 Idiot Moment is taking place. Woman breaks leg, suddenly everyone believes she is a horse, more at 11."
One of these days I should really make "herb guides" just covering how various sensory disabilities impact the lives of Clan cats and some tips for writing them as warriors, especially between Clans. Stuff you wouldn't usually consider, like how much noise deaf cats tend to make, how RiverClan would get a ton of sinus infections and lose their sense of smell, being blind in Sky vs Thunder, etc.
#I once saw someone say offhandedly 'well what if someone snuck up on jay from behind and attacked him. No whiskers there'#NEWSFLASH! YOU ALSO DONT HAVE EYES IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD#He doesn't have short whiskers either they're normally sized#Something like 4 - 5 inches on a cat like him. About double the size of the head foward and sideways#Once you're talking about close combat like the cats usually do there's no way that you can stay back far enough to avoid them#I want to rewrite owl and jay's fight or make a rematch where jay realizes owl is being a coward#Hanging just out of his range and jabbing at him#But once he realizes it's just a coward's strategy it clicks that the counter is to be aggressive#And not let his opponent out of his 'range'#Also give him a neat little scene where they're grappling next to Black's dam project where it's super muddy#And Jay is like 'YOU WANT TO PLAY DIRTY? LETS GET FILTHY' and dunks Owl's face down into the mud#Because Jay can fight without his sight but Owl doesn't know how to continue while there's stinging gunk in his eyes and nose#I like thinking about what I'm going to do for BB!Jay's matches because his fighting style is really fun to write#1. Be aggressive and proactive 2. Don't let them out of range 3. SCARE THEM#From the Mud Match he learns that the best way to end a fight quickly is to absolutely terrify them#Because they're usually not expecting the fight to be difficult nor are they expecting to feel like theyre in danger#So if you surprise them it breaks their willpower real fast#And as he gains a reputation for brutality he faces less opponents until he's practically known as the Cleric Without Mercy#Bone babble
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I'll be honest... The only reason I feel any sort of attraction towards Toji Fushiguro is that he looks strong enough to lift me (with ease even perhaps), and um... I would like to be lifted. Like, romance novel stylez. Princess/bridal carry or whatever. Might be nice.
Look at him. Man's all sinew and sordidness
#I think i'd break the others.#Gojo would snap like a twig.#im not denying they're strong right like yeah mans can throw a punch but like#where is the bulk#to lift all this *gestures at self*#jjk#nanami i love you but i don't want you breaking your back.#oh i also guess i don't care much if Toji breaks his back heheheheh#jjk toji#toji fushiguro#toji x f!reader#toji x reader#fushiguro toji#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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closing time
#you know situation's dire when sparks breaks out the color block sona vent art LOOOOOOOL#sparks speaks#vent#again to all my new-ish followers i do post stuff like this from time 2 time PLEASE block one of those tags if you don't want to see it#long post#edit: fine to rb idgas#ummm NEway. i go back to college in like a month and the thought of it makes me want to curl up and die. idk if i can do it again tbh lol#i dont know how i survived the first time#<- LYING he does. and it was by letting the dissociation he is currently bitching about swallow him completely#if i really committed and tried i could probably claw my way out of this. but there's really no point when i'll just fall back into it soon#the forgetting my entire life does suck though. it does suck.#its really cool learning you've lost the only thing you thought you couldn't lose.#anyways. i'm fine im chillin i just. needed to get this out#if youre reading this preciate you. drink water
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replaying mystic messenger is so crazy because why am i gentle parenting these grown men and teaching them how to handle their feelings
#mystic messenger#mysme#jumin han#saeyoung choi#this post is mainly about those two#i get so mad whenever jumin enters a chatroom like get out of my face im not joking I DO NOT LIKE YOU#like i get it blah blah blah CEO with a cold heart trope and you melt his icy exterior But im so tired...#i don't want to explain workers rights to him#or... basic human rights actually#when he goes “jaehee i need you to work overtime again” and my face contorts in disgust and horror as a sitcom laugh track plays in the bac#also seven's route is so frustrating#like there's genuine reasons for him acting cold and whatever and i get it#but i actually dont want to watch you break a robot cat and then change ur pfp to a dark and broody photo of yourself#I ALSO CANT TALK TO ZEN IM SORRY I HATE HIM SO MUCH#zen lovers do not hate me... i am just a simple person#at one point in seven's route he was like “omg there's an explosive in the apartment? i should send a pic of myself to comfort you...”#I CANNOT HANDLE YOU GO LOG OFF YOUR PHONE#sorry wow im really into this game#i played it four years ago and now it's come back to me#also all of my points are nullified by the fact that saeran is my favorite#doing his route is like pulling teeth and eating socks#i say that with love
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Back to the regular programming. Have a wip! Still working on that thing. Things still progress as they were - sometimes I sit and draw a lot in one go, then I have to put it off for many weeks at a time; or I simply just don't have that much energy/focus to be creative - just life being life. But I'm forging ahead. With the help of my friend, all typos or grammar mistakes are now fixed, too, so that's one thing I thankfully don't have to think about anymore. Now I "just" need to keep and keep and keep on drawing, until it's all finished. Wish me luck.
#kokichi ouma#kokichi oma#ouma kokichi#danganronpa#v3#ndrv3#my art#wip#a little something to balance those gaming posts from few days ago#it's a very happy boi who's totally not coping or anything#I wish I could show something more esp Gonta but ghhh every panel feels like a spoiler so I want to hold back. this is likely last teaser#maybe instead I will just make another compilation of other wips and sketches like I did at the end of last year?#(thank you for such a warm reception on these by the way I'm always really happy seeing your thoughtful and enthusiastic comments!)#or perhaps I will just make something new randomly because I DO need to take breaks from making this comic - i don't want burnout
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my friendship with canon ended now fanon is my new best friend
but first a cute bird
basically my mind decided that it's now free to draw whatever AUs and stuff that I want including random stuff like this
and this!
I think my way of coping with 423 is just... ignoring it ever existed so now it's just this and an occasional canon stuff
but good for him he deserves to have all the fun fanon can offer
fun fact: this was the first sketch out of all of them in this post!
#fanart#sketch#my art#bnha#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#league of villains#it's basically all of them but not really since Tomura just got their outfits#toga himiko#bnha manga spoilers#bnha spoilers#it was a funny thing to go from crying from 423 to laughing from a streamer Tomura ideas#I never allowed myself to really enjoy them#but canon proved itself to be useless for the time being and I don't believe that Tomura will come back#some believe that Tenko will and we'll see but it's a break week next time#so for now I'm just coping the way I want#also I'm interested in drawing some ships that have been fun for the last 5 years#mostly Tomura related but at least 2 not related to him#I'm not exactly a person you'll go to to ship stuff but like... I have some ships I enjoy to read#(and even write if you remember the natshig week stuff!)#basically now bnha is in my “undertale” zone of drawing actually#like I can draw whatever I want if I'm inspired and canon now matters only sometimes otherwise it's fun#I already said what I think about the situation itself so I just want to enjoy drawing Tomura for a while#i want to hug him#also this one Spinner outfit was drawn because I hated how Stain-like the other one was it was disturbingly funny#so I spared him and gave the one that looks comfortable and warm instead but manga panels were now a thing for those sketches
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hhau rescue rambles - part I
>> hhau masterpost here << [cw besides the usual mess and violence: animal death mention]
It’s been months since the latest hermit got saved, and over a year since Hermitcraft imploded. There’s only two people to go: Scar and Grian. And they can’t seem to locate them at all. But they can’t stop looking. They can’t, they won’t.
The rescue party is comprised of X (voidwalker), Doc (creeper), Ren (wolf), Impulse (partially demon), Cub (vex), Gem (deer), and Pearl (moth). Thanks to X knowing how to navigate and survive the void, they are able to get a void vessel (a sort of ship) to base in as they go around scanning different worlds and scouring for information.
Until they come across a world that reads as permadeath, and somewhere in the world files, X flags Grian’s and Scar’s name. Not as players; there’s no list available here. What comes up is the wanted poster. It doesn’t have a date stamp. It could be months old, and they know Scar's track record with dying.
Still, they have to try.
They search for a place that seems to have good resources and Cub, Gem, and Pearl get dropped down. They’re equipped with bracelets that they can activate to send X a signal to teleport them back, and two extra for Grian and Scar, if they do find them, but they have to gather any other kind of equipment, including armour and weapons, on their own.
They quickly realise comms don’t work on this world, and as the player list is also non-existent or corrupted, they are going in blind.
Well… almost.
They use Cub’s vex bond with Scar to pick a direction to head in.
--
Grian and Scar, in the meanwhile, are not having a Good Time.
Some awful things have happened prior to this, namely the ending of the Summer house arc. To quickly sum it up, Grian and Scar went up north, for as long as they could. Away, away, away from everyone. Until it felt like maybe they’re far away enough, and they tentatively set up a house. Which turned into a nest. Which turned into a semblance of permanence.
A lot of things went on here. Days turned into peaceful weeks and, tentatively, they started thinking that maybe they can start planning some kind of future here. They planted crops. Scar re-learned to glide with his torn wings. Grian unfurled his wings and re-learned the feeling of flying through the sky. And they found a bird friend! (A real, living bird in this world!)
The reality caught up to them eventually.
Nobody’s really seen Scar or Grian for a while, but the avians in this world have dull wing patters, for survival reasons, and so Grian is really special. And the hunters don’t want to give that up. The reward on the wanted poster gets upped, and now the fever pitch to get this avian rises. The hunters go further. In bigger groups. Greedy and determined.
They find the nest house, empty at the time, and they burn it down.
Scar and Grian come back to find it in flames, and to find themselves unsafe and hunted once again. All of a sudden, they have nothing again. The fire licks high, turning everything to ash, to a distant cheering and hollering of a party of hunters. There’s no sign of their bird friend.
(Grian finds him later. Dead, with wings cut off. The only creature that resembled him; the bird he befriended, the proof that a winged creature could exist here and survive. Ripped to pieces. Echoing the only fate that is bound to await Grian as well.) (It was a sun conure parrot, bright and beautiful.)
The hunters are on their tail once they realise that Scar and Grian are here; that it wasn’t just some temporary base that’s now abandoned. With no remorse and still too much cheer, bloodthirsty and unstoppable, they go after them.
Scar’s blood is absolutely boiling and he expects Grian to ground him. To talk him down. But Grian’s mind buzzes, looking at that bird, and— He’s as down to fight as Scar is. Because anger is easier than grief right now.
He’s so tired of grief.
So instead, Grian goes angry and feral. (The other option is to fall apart, and he can’t.)
They tear this particular hunting group apart, and it’s meant to make them feel better, but it doesn’t. It feels like a necessity; like just one more step towards survival. They loot what they can, and they continue moving, realising that stopping anywhere to do more than just survive is a moot point. They’re not going to outrun this. They'll never be allowed to stop. They’ll be hunted forever.
(Grian will be hunted forever—)
The word gets out, and more and more hunters arrive, wanting the trophy of violet wings and the wanted reward for themselves. It’s a sport to them. A way to get rich. Like a gold fever, they continue tracking Grian and Scar, relentlessly hounding them down.
There are times when things go worse in these encounters. Grian gets his wings grabbed and attacked, and it sends him spiraling back to never allowing anyone—including himself—to touch his feathers. (He was doing better and now it’s all gone.)
They internalise many horrible thoughts, during their run. It’s been a year-worth of culmination of awful events, a year worth of pain and fear and loss.
For Scar, as a vex, he’s been expected to be a monster from the start. And all he wanted here was some peace. To be with Grian. He wasn’t allowed it, but now he finally got a glimpse at it—at what could’ve been; at who he wanted to be from the beginning (who he’s always been)—and it’s violently taken from him. So yeah, fuck it. If they want a monster, he’ll be a monster.
(This leads him to thinking that he shouldn’t be trusted with soft things anymore, Grian’s feathers included, especially as Grian gets ground-bound again and starts pulling his wings tightly against his back and flinching at the mere implication of touch.) (It hurts to witness, after what Scar’s seen: Grian, freely gliding through the sky, violet feathers catching sunlight.) (He was allowed to preen them, tentatively, slowly, gradually, a couple of times.) (Not anymore. Not anymore.)
Grian keeps thinking about the bird, and how they’re the same. He’s seen the brutal display, the way the wings were taken. He can’t quite stop thinking about it.
But it’s more than that. He’s also thinking about [redacted]. About anything winged being doomed. About what happened with the vexes. It all spins and spins and spins until he can’t see himself as anything but harbinger of death.
The hunters wouldn’t care to go this far for one vex. They only go because of his goddamn feathers.
Naturally, this topples into him thinking that Scar will be safer and better off without him. They’ve been running on sleepless nights and exhaustion, trying to get away to no avail. They’re tired, and things are looking dire, and— Grian wants it to stop. He needs Scar to be taken out of this equation, separated from this fate. He needs him to be safe. (He can’t bring death to Scar.)
Grian can lead the hunters the other way. They only really care about him. ([redacted] already proved that point, after all.)
So one night, Grian sneaks away.
He presses a soft kiss to Scar before he goes. (It’s a farewell kiss.) Scar is asleep, only kind of waking up to it—just that groggy, sleepy “mm?” Grian kisses his forehead again, oh so gently, and murmurs the quietest “Love you. Stay safe for me.” To Scar, it just feels like a dream, and he dozes off again, none the wiser.
The next morning, Scar wakes up to Grian gone.
For a while, he doesn’t even remember that hazy interaction from the night, but then he does remember, all of a sudden. An absolute vertigo slams into him, panic flooding his veins as he stares down the empty, quiet forest.
And this is when the Hermit Rescue Party finds him.
They only find Scar.
They only find Scar, and they instantly try to take him off world.
-- part II here
#hhau#ange rambles#ange writes#scarian#mmm link enabled me to be extra evil#so i'm splitting this up#(also just an excuse for me to take a break tbh)#(but wanted to give something)#OK here's the thing#they find scar right?#but#you need to realise#scar's panicked and frenzied#and he's covered in (old) blood#and he's not Safe or Sane#<3#also they have no way to trace grian or to even know if he's alive at all#their priority is to grab scar and get him somewhere safe#which is#away from this world#(away from grian)#the redacted bit is for different rambles that come chronologically earlier#stuff we don't want to spoil :3#will i remember to come back to this and edit it once those rambles are out?#pfsh surely not
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i hate the fact the term karen went from describing a bitchy entitled customer to basically the modern day equivalent of calling a woman a harpy (misogynistic as fuck) and that people use the term on people out in public who are at the end of their rope emotionally from stress or a shitty day. I get it just because your having a rough time doesn't mean you get to be a dick but sometimes I think people are seriously lacking in empathy and I get it a lot shit the customer might be dealing with isn't your responsibility but like if a customer is struggling with something simple maybe don't be a dick? Just a thought.
#I'm so done with people calling customers with legitimate complaints/concerns Karen#If you messed up someone's order and they ask for a new one then fix it#What if they're on special diet for health reasons#What if they're practicing lent or are Muslim and you give them food that they can't have#What if the customer that's struggling with a simple self checkout has autism or something#People shouldn't have to give out these reasons unless they want to#Also corporations love to make customers out to be idiots and karens when they've seriously fucked up#Like that lady who got McDonald's coffee on her crotch suffered 3rd degree burns and was portrayed as an idiot/greedy#Don't be like that#ableism#misogny#Karen#I'm not kidding when I say it's becoming the modern day equivalent of calling a woman a harpy#Someone breaking down crying and freaking out in public can be annoying but maybe don't record them#Idk as someone with autism if someone recorded me having a meltdown or mocked me I'd be pissed#Even if they aren't mentally unwell no one deserves to bullied when they're at their own limit#Watch somebody call me a Karen for this#Like fight back against dickheads throwing temper tantrums but also don't be a bully#when you hear something about a Karen try and see if they are actually being a Karen or if they're just being put in a bad light#Like did they hit record after a bunch of harassment#cause thats happened
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