#you don't need columbo on this one

[gaykarstaagforever]

JonBenét Ramsey?

The dad and the brother did it. Or the brother did it and the dad tried to cover for him. Badly. Then, because of his rich white guy connections in Rich White Guy Boulder, Colorado, the DA and the local police covered for him.

...I mean the local police just totally botched the investigation. But that was mostly because "A rich white guy can't do crimes! That is only for the Blacks!"

The Lore Lodge is doing a whole series on this. But it's pretty cut and dry.

Everyone knows exactly what happened, but none of the relevant authorities care, because rich white men SAing their children to death is a fundamental American right, by gum!

...Trigger warning, if you're young and didn't know this is how things work here.

[columboscreens]

[ckret2]

How do you have the willpower to not consume content from any of your other fandoms? I always get pulled in and out of the same ones and it stops me from getting projects done but I get so bored! Teach me your ways!

So the downside of ADHD is that it takes a ridiculously high amount of effort to push yourself to do things—even things you want to do and like doing—unless you put even more effort upfront into making it convenient for yourself.

But the upside is, if you know this about yourself, and if there's media you want to not be consuming, you just...... don't do anything to make it convenient to consume.

I don't have Amazon Prime. All I have to do is not bother to get Amazon Prime (easy!!) and not bother to hunt out a way to watch Hazbin some other way (also easy!!) and bam, I've got a 100% success rate of not watching it.

Do you know how many Transformers series I'm currently behind on? I sure don't! Because I haven't put the effort into looking it up! I can't be assed! There's like, at least three I think! Don't tell me, I'm not currently interested in finding out!! It would take work for me to figure it out; I can just go "work?? Naaah. Not doing that."

You can resist temptation by just being too lazy to pursue it! Make that ADHD work for YOU!

Caution: if you can't get yourself to put effort into doing anything that brings you pleasure, that's either Pretty Serious Depression or it's gonna cause Pretty Serious Depression and it's not good. However. If you master the art of ADHD, you can save up the effort you didn't put into distractions, and use it to put effort into different activities that also make you happy.

Last year I picked up a podcast about cults. It's all right. But because I'm already listening to it and spotify keeps pushing it to the top of my screen, when I need a low-effort audio distraction, it's easier for me to default to putting on the podcast about cults than it would be for me to, say, dig up The Magnus Protocol to start it. And bam! Now I'm doing more research that'll help me write about a cult leader, for free, by listening to a podcast I'm not at risk of hyperfixating on!

Part of avoiding breaking your own hyperfixation is figuring out what media you enjoy, but don't hyperfixate on. Because you still need to, like, have fun. That's why you wanna watch The Things You Like, because it's fun. If you're not having fun you'll wanna go watch The Things You Like, and rightly so. So you've gotta make sure you're having enough fun with things you don't hyperfixate on.

Like, I know that when I watch Columbo or read Poirot, I find the detectives charming while I'm observing them, and then almost as soon as the mystery is over I stop thinking about them. They aren't the kind of characters that latch into my brain. I know they won't become blorbos. So I'm safe there. I know I enjoy horror movies but 99% of the time totally forget who the characters are, like if there's 2 white guys and 2 white girls it is guaranteed I won't be able to tell them apart, so they're safe to watch, I'm not gonna hyperfixate on them. I know that I enjoy nonfiction/educational books & podcasts, but I only hyperfixate on fiction, so it's safe for me to pick up nonfiction. If it's nonfiction that's somehow thematically relevant to whatever I'm currently hyperfixated on, it even helps feed the current hyperfixation.

And those are my "protect your hyperfixation" lifehacks.

On the other hand, if you, anon, don't personally have ADHD, then I can't help you. idk how people with executive function function.

Final advice: if you know you keep falling in and out of the same 3 or 4 fandoms, maybe try writing a crossover fic about all 3 or 4 fandoms at once. That way it won't matter which one you're currently into. You win no matter what. I've never actually tried this, don't trust this advice.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Mentioned in a Post a while back about a Jttw/LMK AU I had regarding the "Yellow Robed Demon" Arc when Tripitaka got turned into a tiger.

Book Summary;

Tripitaka manages to escape his capture (for once) and passes on a message to the King of Baoxiang from his daughter, Baihuaxiu, explaining that she was kidnapped and made the forced bride of a demon (ironically making it a magical version of what befell Tripitaka's mother when he was a baby).

Kui Mulang rolls in with a human glamour and goes: "Nu-Uh! I'm but a humble human hunter. THIS guy is a tiger demon who attacked a girl some time ago. I save her and we've been living a simple life for the last 13 years!" (Lie)

So the dude pulls an Uno-Reverse and transforms Tripitaka into a tiger (or in some versions, glamours him into one). The King and his subjects believe this 100% since Tripitaka and the Pilgrims don't look so great without Wukong there to act as PR (he was exiled at the time for the White Bone Spirit incident).

Tripitaka is apparently aching-beautiful no matter his form though;

Wukong even feels kinda bad for his Master, since the transformation is so good that he can't even see through it with Gold Vision. Also imagine a sad giant kitty, that would bum anyone out.

Of course things are resolved by the end of the arc; the gang reunite with their monkey, Ao Lie gets his own badass chapter, the Princess is saved, Bajie kills the couple's two half-demon wolf children, the Yellow Robed Demon is revealed to be Revatī - the Wood Wolf of Legs after Wukong catches the demon commenting on his performance during the Havoc (Wukong has a few Columbo moments in the book like this), and Tripitaka is transformed back into his squishy monk self.

Bonus - Tripitaka as a tiger from a book illustration + the 1999 cartoon.

The book illustration + description suggests he's a rare Pseudo-melanistic "Black Tiger" seen in India, possibly an Indo-Chinese Tiger, or a South China Tiger with a darker back.

So here's where the timeline shifts...

The Wood Wolf of Legs ain't happy to be dragged away from (what he believed to be mutual) his true love on earth + his two kids, so he curses the Tang Monk to not only retain part of the glamour he imposed upon him, but to transform him fully into a carnivorous feline demon. Also as an extra "F-k you!" to the Jade Court he and his past love fled from, since the Queen Mother is a celestial tigress herself.

The Pilgrims freak out, obviously.

Guanyin is called up and is like;

Guanyin: "Well, you did unjustly punish and exile your best bodyguard because you didn't trust his judgement, seeing him only as a murderous beast... so *your* punishment is to deal with the rest of your Journey as one of the very same creatures you see as mindlessly bloodthirsty." Tripitaka, now cursed to stay a catboy: "Dang it." (≽^╥⩊╥^≼)

He still gets to wear the robes and walk upright -think Master Tigress from Kung Fu Panda but as a wimpy, twink-shaped, monk.

Tripitaka aint' having fun. He's a life-long vegetarian who's suddenly an apex hypercarnivore. He tries his best for the longest time to stay on the veggies (and durian weirdly enough since tigers like those), but eventually he will need to chow down on some bleeding protein.

And his team literally consists of the main diet of a tiger...

Wukong, a monkey: "Master isn't looking too good." Zhu Bajie, a pig: "I don't like the way he's been looking at us. I burnt my finger making the campfire and he looked ready to pounce!" Sha Wujing, a fish: "I'm not surprised. Cats are of few beasts that absolutely require meat protein to survive." Ao Lie, currently a horse: "If he goes feral, I vote we sacrifice the pig first." Wujing & Wukong: "Agreed." Zhu Bajie: "HEY!!" (₍•̀ ⚇•́ ₎) Tripitaka, meditating hard: "Perhaps if I eat a watermelon, it would sustain my desire for flesh?"

What worse?

Tripitaka is still considered smoking hot. Now by demon standards too!

The Trio of Lion Camel Ridge prepare to attack the Pilgrims when;

Azure Lion: (*sees that the Great Monk is actually a beautiful tiger.*) Azure Lion, lowering his sword: "Guys, do not mess this up for me." Peng & Yellow Tusk: (*annoyed groans!*)

[crownmemes]

Columbo Sentences, Vol. 6

(Sentences from Columbo (1968-2003). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"You don't trust anybody, do you?"

"Let's just get this over with, alright? I don't have a lot of time."

"You're the Devil in disguise."

"I'm sorry I had to tie you up. It was necessary at the time."

"How would you like to save a life?"

"I adore you with that slightly dishevelled look."

"Promise me that you won't do anything desperate?"

"Stop giving orders. On you, they sound so silly."

"I think you used me before, and I think you're using me now."

"I don't understand. Why don't I get tired of you?"

"What about yourself pleases you the most?"

"Do you think my teeth are my best feature?"

"Why do you make me sound so vain?"

"Just stay close. I'll take care of you."

"I would never do that to you. I would never lie to you."

"Would you be very angry if I kissed you again?"

"You smell like a French whore!"

"What's the longest you've ever worked on a case?"

"Whether or not we discussed marriage is a private matter!"

"Would you ever do anything to hurt me?"

"I'm warning you once: stay away from things that are none of your business."

"Look, I don't want to fight with you. One of us may say something we may regret."

"Do you have any idea how many enemies I have out there?"

"So, got yourself a little murder, huh?"

"My facts are always correct."

"You look like a cop. How do I know you're not?"

"You're going to have to learn to calm down!"

"What do you plan to do now that you're wearing that expensive suit?"

"I want you to know that I don't like talking to cops. You guys give me the creeps."

"Insanity is not one of my failings."

"If you don't do this, I'll have you killed. Nothing personal; it's just business."

"Will you stop playing dumb? I can't stand it when cops play dumb!"

"What I believe and what I can prove are two different things."

"Since when are you my boss?"

"I'll give you a choice. You can walk out of here and never come back, keep your mouth shut… The other choice, I don't think I need to go into much detail about."

"I was poor once. I'm never going to be poor again."

"It's not that I want him dead! I just want him out of the way!"

"That cat could be the only witness to this terrible crime!"

"I know you. Something isn't right. I can tell by your voice."

"Welcome to my chamber of horrors! Look, but don't touch!"

"Maybe you can take me home when this is over? Just like old times?"

"You burned me once, now I'm going to burn you."

"How nice to see you properly dressed for a change!"

"I always have a couple of cocktails in the evening! It relaxes me!"

"You know, in a macabre way, I'm beginning to enjoy this!"

[snozzlefrog]

Working on the assumption most people aren't reading kid's puzzle books (although it is a pretty fun, more relaxed time if you fancy it!), I've compiled a list of main series related observations. Please only read if you don't mind spoilers - and the kids aren't mentioned much since they are Jr originals.

The book seems to take place between books 1 and 2 (plausibly could be during book 1, but unlikely)

Many of the events of book 2 and 3 were in motion beforehand, especially with Tekco

Rose, Raspberry and Indigo all have kids - Indigo's specifically is Olivia, one of the main detectives

This means Logico helped murder his junior employee's dad during book 3 (ouch)

Applegreen, Lapis, Saffron and Ruby work in the same school, alongside Raspberry Jr

Emerald and Earl Grey are neighbours

Logico seems to be a bit famous now, at least enough for strangers to recognise him and to be signing stuff

The Detective club is really well funded, and Logico appears to be in a high-up role, if not the president

Irratino is a "pretty swell" Uncle (likely a second cousin rather than secret sibling)

Irratino is consequently pretty good with kids

Logico is TERRIBLE with kids

Irratino has multiple classic secret levers and switches installed for secret rooms and passages in the II (something we'd all probably do with comical amounts of money to be fair)

Irratino has great memory, and has the entire Institute memorised (which may also be how he can navigate the impossible maze with little trouble)

While it's no surprise, Irratino is confirmed as a habitual wonderer and prone to boredom (AuDHD king)

Irratino is similar to Logico in that he likes being included as a suspect when relevant

Logico either does a decent amount of undercover work, or has a LOT of side jobs

Logico earns what I believe is his first colour association - marzipan! (Suitably beige in my opinion)

At least two of the four detectives don't recognise Logico with a very mild change in appearance (mustache and hat) but clearly know who he is - either face blindness is super common in Murdle, or Logico is gathering an army of specifically autistic children

Logico has a houseboat (unclear if it's a full-time home or for the case - I like to imagine it is indeed his)

Logico is good with computers - at least good enough to stump a tech prodigy

Logico is kinda bad at tone/jokes

The DC and II seem to be at least a little linked together now - Logico tries to recruit two of the kids at the II, and Irratino helps with a DC training exercise as a "favour"

The II has at least one other branch, on the Violet Isles

A funny possible plot hole - Logico knew at least part of SPY was corrupt before the events of book 3 (between that and SoM, I'm starting to think Logico got hit a bit too hard during chessboxing - that or I'm checking timelines in a children's book)

Logico not only successfully pulls off the patented Tino-death-trick, but Irratino (presumably) fails to pull off the same trick

Logico is, and I cannot overstate this, the dopiest, most awkward motherfucker on the planet. Seriously, it's so funny seeing him without his internal dialogue colouring all his actions. It's like if Columbo was actually Like That. He thinks he's super cool and awesome and he's actually Laios from dunmeshi (AuDHD king). He's smart in the logic department but the rest of his brain is empty.

NO BUT SERIOUSLY. He earnestly does the Perry the Platypus disguise TWICE. He wears his hat under a second hat in case he needs to do a dramatic reveal. He lets children go to a wartorn country and solve several murders with no plan while believing that this is a totally planned excursion. HE HIRES A CAT. HE LETS A SMALL CHILD BELIEVE HE IS GONNA BE A DETECTIVE BEFORE GOING "oh no sorry that's for the cat, welcome to the force Mr McPaws" WITH GENUINE SERIOUS INTENTIONS.

If I'm honest, I think the cat might be the smartest detective there (including the adults)

[yellowocaballero]

One of the many things that I've been doing instead of writing are these damn manwha binges and Villain To Kill is literally so funny. The comic premise is straightforward action, think Tokyo Ghoul meets Solo Leveling - local Genetically Superpowered Superhero Cop working for corrupt Hero Organization gets #betrayed and #murdered and is reincarnated into the body of a Genetically Superpowered Villain Teenager so now he has to join up with all the other villain superpower people to get justice.

It's so 5/10. Cassian is extremely OP and the story isn't well-written enough to pull that off well. The worldbuilding is so incredibly nonsensical and weak that it falls apart if you think about it for more than five minutes (tried to write fic for it and failed because I would have had to rework the entire world - which, I could have, but that's a lot of effort for Villain to Kill). The plot is mostly any OP action hero plot where guy gets increasingly powerful by fighting increasingly powerful guys. Cassian himself has almost nothing going on internally, to the point of elegance. And it is somehow the gayest manwha I've ever read.

It's the fucking character designs. And like its narrative but it's the fucking 100/10 character designs. The entire cast's design and characters slam. There's not that much depth but we don't care. You know if we don't like somebody if they look vaguely straight, and you know that we like somebody if they look like they were set to tumble dry in the queerness washing machine. The (great!) women are high femme or hard butch. The corrupt institution assassinated a man Cassian loved and framed & murdered him, at which point he was adopted by a rag-tag bunch of flamboyant homosexuals deemed unacceptable and undesired by society who all teamed up and decided to villainize society in exclusively funny ways and spend most of their time gossiping or hacking the Pentagon. An AFAB character dresses as a man and goes by he/him pronouns half the time for no good reason. Cassian is physiologically incapable of thinking about anything but violence so the heartwarming found family scenario's going over his head, but his Painfully Het Hero Foil Indoctrinated Into Homophobia caught the found family ball and now he's dancing in their gay bars and dressing in drag. There's only a few characters who are explicitly gay but this is gayer than that.

I talked a while back about how important a decent supporting cast is to a good story, and this is yet again good proof. Looking at this, I think I'd go further and say - it's an action manwha, we're reading it for a reason, we don't need character-driven story arcs or really complex characters. I think it's just charisma. A story can go really far on characters with charisma.

TV Shows that are carried on the lead actor (Columbo I love you) - it's because the actor has charisma. You watch it to see the actor hang out being himself. That's way way harder to do in fiction, but I think that "a complex character" isn't necessarily a "charismatic character". I'd rather have a cast of only charismatic characters rather than only complex ones. A story of any genre needs a strong cast of charismatic characters. They can be deep or they can just be chaotic lesbians. Charisma invests the reader in the story and the characters. It's simple but it's really powerful. And it is fucking hilarious how sometimes all you need to do on that front is "Rupaul this shit".

I can't genuinely recommend Villain to Kill and this is not a recommendation. But random stuff always interests me like this, and I really had no idea that I would read 120ch of a manwha bc the designs fuck so hard. Also, like, this is queerest manwha I've ever read. Somehow. Fucking somehow.

[niuttuc]

My Favorite Cards of 2024: Murders at Karlov Manor

The year is pretty close to over, so let's go back over the sets released this year (with new cards at least), and go through a few of my favorite cards from that release. I'll group together stuff released together, in this case it'll be Murders at Karlov Manor, the Commander precons, and the Clue edition. I'll probably go through one set a day for the next week, though I might skip some days for personal reasons.

Cryptic Coat is a new twist on living weapons that feels really good to play with. While Duskmourn revisited the manifested auto-attach equipments a bit, this one has more gameplay to it by being an infinite mana sink, and the Ward 2 of cloaking makes it just a bit more fun. It also offers some interesting play patterns when you expect removal for it, as to when to activate it to bounce, and is great with blink effects, both to get more 2/2s by blinking the coat or blink the 2/2s to get the permanents hidden behind for free. The default rate of an unblockable 3/2 ward 2 for 3 is decent enough, and it doesn't feel too bad to play against either (outside of limited), there are points of interaction.

Aftermath Analyst is a new package for an effect we've seen rarely in the past, and good enough to spawn an entire deck in standard until rotation, while also being an excellent commander card for any green deck that has anything to do with the graveyard, or with lands. The main downside of World Shaper is that it never dies when you want it to, so putting the death fully into your hands makes the card feel so much better to play with.

Cases in general were pretty neat, but I'll single out these two because I've played with them quite a bit. Filched Falcon is relatively simple, but the low cost to entry and instant speed sac make it a powerful and tricky thing, always to keep in mind as a reason to keep up my mana. Crimson Pulse is a great way for aggressive red decks to go long, for matchups they can't close as fast as they'd want. Three cards a turn will end a game VERY quickly in red, and even the initial cast can be a divination when empty-handed.

I haven't played with Doppelgang much personally, but one has to respect a card with this much nonsense potential. The ability to target lands and your opponent's stuff turns this card from a narrow-hard to use card into something that will always impress and create unlikely scenarios, as long as you have the mana to put into it.

I love burninating people's boards, and Incinerator of the Guilty sure does that. It's easier to randomly have stuff in the graveyard than connect with a non-trampling Balefire Dragon, and you usually don't need that many hits to close out a game. Incinerator really loves haste but it replaced or joined Balefire in both my decks that were still playing it. And now that people have forgotten about it for new shinies, it's even available for about $0.50 while Balefire is still above $10 for some reason.

Is this design original? No, of course not, it's literally a copy paste of another card. But that other card is one of my favorite designs in the game, so it earns a spot here almost by default. Plus, it brought it back in standard.

Between the stellar art and buildaround potential, Insidious Roots decks have a pretty unique feel to them, not quite like other graveyard decks or other combo decks. Most forms of graveyard hate aren't even good against it if they trigger the roots, and the deck has been viable in a few places at points, which is quite the work from an uncommon.

I just like Gleaming Geardrake. Two artifacts for two mana, and a flying body that really loves random Treasures and other trinkets. It's won me many games, and was a bit slow in a bunch more, but it's just cute and neat.

Columbo closes it out with Final-Word Phantom. I generally like playing at instant-speed for trickiness, and only doing so during end steps is a fine way to make it less obnoxious while still retaining a good chunk of the utility. People no longer have to wait on you on every priority, just on end steps!

[darkcloudsatnight]

So, I have been watching Emesis Blue three times now, and I had just noticed that during that one scene when the detective (Spy) and Jane (Soldier) were searching (I think) Scout's mothers apartment, you can hear the chief of police ask if they're actually real detectives. Now, the names that Spy used for them were "Detective Mannix" and "Lieutenant Columbo". I randomly decided to search these names up on my computer and guess what I found

They were actual detective shows that were made in the 60s when Emesis Blue takes place

Now, another thing I want to add is the descriptions of these shows

Columbo

""Columbo" isn't the typical detective whodunit TV show. On most detective shows, viewers don't know who committed the crime until the detective pieces the clues together and figures it out. On this show, however, viewers see the crime unfold at the beginning of most episodes, including who the perpetrator is. The mystery and fun for viewers is trying to spot the clues that will lead Lt. Columbo (Peter Falk) to discover the culprit and watching the tricks he uses to get a confession. Episodes of "Columbo" were movie-length and ran sporadically on multiple networks during its run."

Mannix

"Joe Mannix is a Los Angeles-based detective who ends up taking a lot of punishment. When the show starts, he works for a large L.A. detective agency, Intertect. But beginning in season two, he sets out on his own and becomes a private investigator, assisted by loyal secretary Peggy Fair, the widow of a police officer. In the course of solving crimes, he can be expected to be shot, beaten, knocked unconscious, driven off the road or similarly injured. But despite all the bodily trauma, Mannix always gets his man."

Now, I'd like you to read those descriptions if you haven't already and compare them to the characters those false names were given to.

If you don't want to read, I'll just tell you what I think.

When it comes to Lieutenant Columbo being compared to Jane, or Soldier, we need to bring up what actually happens in the show. During the episodes, the audience already knows who did the crime and how it happened, because it is revealed in the beginning. Comparing that to Soldier in Emesis Blue, the audience doesn't exactly know what is happening when we first see Soldier, but while also seeing Medic's story tie in with his, then the audience will know that Medic is just as confused as Soldier is and that Medic isn't the current villain at large. (Unless he is and it was actually him who murdered Scout's mother and then kidnapped Scout, to which I think most people assumed after seeing the big bloody M on the wall once Medic found out what had happened to Scout's mother, which does rlly help with the "its all revealed in the beginning thing".)

I'd also like to bring up that Columbo (according to Wikipedia) means, "someone who expresses the obvious while not being aware of its obviousness". It remeinded me of when Soldier overheard that phone call that Jules Archibald had with Blutarch, and then how after he hung up, immediately called Redmond about a "proposition". Now, it was obvious that Jules was only in it for the money, but the fact that it didn't seem like Soldier was at all shocked by that fact just makes me compare it to it being obvious how bad Jules was, and how it was Soldier who found out about it, but how it seemed like he didn't get it.

Now, when it comes to Mannix, it was said that at first, the detective was working for a company and, quote "took a lot of punishment" and in this case comparing him to Spy, Spy was working under Jules Archibald, who taught him how to kill his own teammates without guilt, and he ended up getting burned beyond recognition (rip bozo). In the second season of the show, the detective gets an assistant, who is the a widow of a police officer (for Spy, this would be Soldier, being a past war veteran) and going off on his own without the company. Now, the timelines are a little off here, but, when Spy killed Archibald, I would say it was almost like the equivalent of Detective Mannix going off on his own. At that point, Spy has already abandoned any hope in Soldier (as if he had any) but still had the tolerance not to kill him when he had his chance, still "working" with him in the end during Archibalds funeral (that got intruded by Medic, rip Spy, no one will miss u)

Now, I don't want to make assumptions, but I have a feeling that Detective Mannix did have something like a separation from his assistant just as these two did, just not as violent or horrifying or mentally damaging (if not, someone please correct me).

If any of y'all have anything else to add or if you would like to correct me or anything else like that, PLEASE DO BC I ACTUALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M TALKING ABT AND THIS WAS JUST A RANDOM RANT THAT I THOUGHT ABOUT WHEN FINDING OUT ABOUT THIS AND WATCHING THE MOVIE.

(I put wayyyy too much effort into this HELP)

(Just know that I haven't watched any of the shows and this is all just based off the descriptions of them, but I would like to watch some episodes of them to see if anything that happens in the show is similar to Emesis Blue.)

[aihoshiino]

hii what do you think is ai's fav thing for leisure and all? Since she sadu she isn't big on movies in da vinci interview and idt she really likes to read so what she would like? Anime/manga? Just surfing on net?

everyone say thank you to this anon because this ask was what reminded me of the q&a section of the Da Vinci interview and made me run to go translate it. "Claire didn't you post that TL weeks ago" we don't need to talk about that right now

ANYWAY!!! I'd always headcanoned that Ai likes sleeping in late on her days off so I felt very vindicated by the q&a saying she was a nap girlie LOL. Aside from that when she's not at work, I think she spends a lot of time keeping up with other groups, seeing what the trends are, how B-Komachi can both follow them and stand out, etc. She brainstorms choreography, practices for upcoming performances, that sort of thing.

if you're sat there going "Claire none of that is leisure" then you have correctly identified the problem!!! She's SUCH a perfectionist and holds herself to such insane standards that I think she struggles to relax even when she's not at work. At best, she just catches up on sleep and that's kind of it...

HOWEVER!!! I think she gets a lot better about this once Aqua and Ruby come along. Her hiatus forces her to have a lot of downtime because she's literally physically not able to do much. It forces her to learn how to occupy herself without much physical exertion which is actually good for her for once...

I like to think she gets back into video games at least a little bit LOL. Iirc, someone pegged the twins' birth year as being around 2008-9ish based on the models of phones characters are shown using in the anime (tho I could not find the post for the life of me) so I think it's cute to imagine her buying like, a secondhand GBA SP and playing that while she was at the hospital and stuck at home...

I also think she'd get into TV dramas! But like, those long ass procedural ones that are super episodic and don't have a big overarching plot so she doesn't use to worry about missing episodes, she can just tune in and vibe when she's got the time and not spend a ton of brainpower on it. Actually I think I just accidentally implied that Ai would be a Columbo girlie so let's move on...

Being with the twins is her biggest source of leisure time, I think...! Obviously childcare is still a huge undertaking even when your babies are supernaturally well behaved lol but being Aqua and Ruby's mom is incredibly, overwhelmingly fulfilling for her - it forces her to slow down, to focus on being Hoshino Ai instead of "Ai of B-Komachi" and it gives her a space to freely pour out all the love and affection she's always so desperate to give. She really does adore them so much that even just sitting around and hanging out with them maxes out her serotonin meter.

[watchmorecinema]

Something I don't like about the current state of the MCU (and DCU) is just how much work it all is. Some pretentious European movie from the 70's didn't require 30 other movies to provide context. You can pretty much watch any James Bond film in any order, there's not a lot of continuity to deal with. LOTR is an incredible series with a long plot but it's still only 3 movies; you only had to watch 2 other movies before Return of the King.

But with the MCU there's just so much! I think most people were following along fine until Endgame, but then it started to branch out too much. We get a new show every week, the multiverse idea just means that there are more and more threads to deal with and I just don't feel like it's working towards anything at all. Like, is She-Hulk required viewing before The Marvels? What context am I missing if I watch Quantumania but I didn't see any of the movies beforehand? Before Endgame there was certainly an issue with too many of the movies feeling like Origin stories, but at least they didn't require a lot of context. But now I'm so far behind that it just feels like a chore to catch up.

DCU has it worse since they keep rebooting everything. If your movie is meant to setup 5 future films and those films never come, then your movie isn't even good on its own. Apparently the next Avengers movie is going to be a soft reboot the MCU, so it's like why bother?

The films have finally grown all the same issues the comics had. Too many plotlines going on at once, constant retconning, and a focus on big events instead of just telling good stories one at a time. I would be so happy if we just kept getting standalone films that didn't really tie into each other so I could just watch them whenever. If they just made a new Batman each year with no plot carrying over I'd watch them all. Why did Columbo get popular again out of nowhere? There's 70 episodes and no plot to carryover so you can just watch one and get a complete story. Literally the best comic book projects to come out recently were fairly standalone or at least didn't need a lot of context. Werewolf by Night, Across the Spiderverse, The Batman and TMNT didn't need 30 movies of backstory and they didn't spend a lot of time just introducing characters for future movies. Spiderverse of course is different in that it is a sequel and a 3rd film is coming to finish the story but 3 movies is a reasonable number of movies to carry a plot over!

And what really gets me is that I did like the MCU a lot up to Endgame. I was pretty much watching them all as they came out in theaters. It was so much easier to do then. I think there are good stories to be told in the comic book superhero genre, but I don't think Hollywood can carry a plot over 40 films and have it work.

[fstbmp-a]

[itsawritblr]

An Ask about Editing.

"I am seeing mixed information regarding editing and when to attempt to submit to a publisher. I was under the impression that the publishers provide editors, but some online sources are telling me that it is typical to hire your own editor and pay them before you send the novel off to publishers."

All publishers have editors. If they have websites they'll have the editors' names listed there. Example: The Random House Team.

It's not typical at all to hire an editor to work on your manuscript. You're supposed to know how to edit your own work. Some people hire them because they think it'll give them an advantage. However, the question is:

How good is the editor?

There are people who fake being editors. They take your money and do a few changes on your manuscript.

There are people who are mediocre at editing, but will take your money and do a few changes to your manuscript.

If you don't know how to edit, you can't tell who's a charlatan, who's mediocre, or who's excellent.

It's your job as a writer to learn how to edit your own work. If a publisher acquires your book their editor will work with you to improve it. But they prefer to have a manuscript that's as polished and as close to perfect as possible, because that means less work for them and a shorter period from editing to published book.

"Is there a substantial risk of stolen ideas or anything like that when someone hires their own editor?"

OK . . . . *inhale*

Your word for word manuscript is automatically copyrighted from the moment it's written/typed/scrawled in crayon. It's yours. You do not need to file for Copyright and spend whatever the fee is these days. In the highly unlikely case of plagiarism, you have as proof your original ms (manuscript) and your notes, etc., which you used to create your work. And you can prove that the editor saw your manuscript before they published whatever they did.

But ideas can't be copyrighted.

Example: Both A Bug's Life and ANTZ have similar ideas. But they're not copies.

Example: If your story has a short, scruffy detective who smokes a cigar and drives a beater, but he's English and lives in a Detroit townhouse, your idea doesn't legally rip-off Columbo. Everyone will think you ripped it off and think less of you, as they should, but no one can sue you because the ideas are so alike. Well, they can try, but it'll more than likely be a waste of their time and money.

Plagiarism is much more likely to occur if you put your work online, because anyone can see your work and there are a shit-ton of unscrupulous wanna-be writers out there. But no publishing house's first reader -- the person who reads your ms before moving it on to an editor who'll decide if your ms is good enough for them to buy it -- is going to steal your work.

As for a hired editor, it's very, very unlikely.

"My second question would be if you have any examples of perhaps a page or two of a novel where I can read the original version from the author, and then the version after the editor has taken a crack at it and then updated with the editors changes and recommendations? I tried searching for this but didn’t get much luck. I suppose I am looking for a concrete example of how much an editor puts in."

I don't do that. Unless you pay me $$$$.

Editors are essential to publishers. But again, they don't touch your ms unless the publisher decides to buy it. And they won't want it unless you've edited the fuck outta it first.

What you need to do, what all writers need to do, is learn how to be your best editor.

Get a copy of this:

This is a writer's Bible. I suggest owning a copy so you can study it and make notes if needed. You can get cheap, readable used copies from eBay, Abebooks, or your local used bookstore.

You can download this pdf and print it:

The Elements of Style.

Also get this. It's great for fiction writers as well as nonfiction writers.

This also has an online pdf: The Elements of Editing.

There are tons of books about editing. A simple Google search will find them.

Books About Editing Books. This list is for books about editing books and the craft of writing (mostly fiction).

There's Writer's Digest Magazine. They have lots of articles by editors and writers. Read it online and look for copies at your nearby library. Warning: There are ads for editing "services" and that kind of shit. Ads are how the magazine makes its money (that and subscriptions). Ignore these ads.

If you have a local library, ask the reference librarian for the section with books about writing and editing. If it's a small section, or there isn't one at all, ask for an Inter Library Loan (ILL). This is when the librarian requests the title your looking for from any library in the U.S. and often abroad, and it will be sent to her library, for free.

I can't emphasize this enough: The library is your best friend. Librarians are there to help. There are tons of writers who thank librarians in their Acknowledgements, including Christopher Paul Curtis, Anthony Horowitz, and me. Get to know your librarians. (OK, some librarians are assholes. Find the ones who aren't.)

If you don't have access to a library, either public or college/university, look in a used bookstore. If you don't have a used bookstore, cheap, readable copies can be found online.

If possible, take a course in editing and writing. But only if you can easily afford it, and only if the instructor is a professional editor or writer.

You need to be the best editor for your work. No one will be as invested in your book as your are.

I repeat: No one will be as invested in your book as you are.

Learn to edit well, then send off your ms. If you write fiction, you'll need a literary agent (there are a few boutique and small press publishers who don't require agents). An agent wants to see polished work. But, if she's even half-way good, she'll help edit your ms to a level where it's ready for a publisher to see it.

Now, you caught me on a slow day, and I'm feeling generous (I was a newbie too. Got my first rejection at age 11, from Alfred A. Knopf Publishing). But I'm not answering any more questions from anybody, because I have a ms to finish.

If anyone ignores this statement and tries to get more help from me, my response is:

I'm outta here.

[everyonewooeverywhere]

alright loves! another list that needs filling in 😌

my goal this one is to make a masterlist for it and fill in the fics (all probably less than 2k words) whenever i'm feeling inspired to write them.

i've got two members already! but i'd love help on the other 11. i know i have yet to write a lot for seventeen, so i'm hoping to change that 💗

this is seventeen as bruno major songs:

(if you don't know the songs, that's ok. i've put a little explanation of what each fic will be in parenthesis)

the show must go on - angst (giving up a relationship for the sake of career)

tell her - angst (break up) - jihoon

columbo - angst (right person, wrong time)

places we won’t walk - angst (losing “the one”)

second time - angst (longing for someone you can’t have)

the first thing you see - fluff (waking up together) - seungkwan

just the same - angst (loving someone who’s bad for you/cheater)

there’s little left - fluff (appreciating each other)

fair-weathered friend - angst (leaving you for someone “better”)

easily - undecided genre (situationship)

the most beautiful thing - undecided genre (dreaming of a lover)

nothing - fluff (cozy night together)

old fashioned - fluff (perfect date night) - shua

leave your suggestions in my inbox if you'd like to help~

these are always a lot of fun to do, so thank you 💗

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

A storm is brewing and since I'm stuck indoors, I thought I could have some fun. Big emphasis on fun, for my sake and everyone else's. Please. So, without prolonging this too much, I'm down for some theories and speculations today and when I do it, either call me Columbo or a clown, but what's important is that I do it in style.

I've observed that these days, some idols have been a bit careless with their watches. Are they using them simply as expensive accesories? Do they need to know the time or they have their managers to do that for them? Oh, to live an idol lifestyle....nothing but idleness, right?

Or is it? The suspects today are Park Jimin, Choi Minho and Lee Taemin. My assistant to this case @peppertaemint and her reliable sources brought to my attention something we've briefly talked about a few weeks ago. Actually, we made some jokes. The situation was as follows.

Was the Rolex broken and the guy didn't know? It seems a bit silly given that the watch is not cheap at all. And usually, with an item like that, you do cherish and take care of it. It's a status symbol (I'll expand on that below). Also, Minho is known for posting on Bubble at specific times. His birthday or SHINee anniversary. It's not part of the fandom's collective imagination. They don't need to invent their own math in order to come up with the number they want. It's pretty straightforward.

Now, what does 11:55 mean? Nothing for now, but it's close to 12:09 which is Minho time (thank you pptm again). Anyway, the jury is still out on this one. It might just be that Minho needs to fix his watch.

But well, well, well, what do we have here? Taemin himself showing the same negligence as his boyfriend Hyung.

In Taemin's case, I wouldn't be surprised he just didn't care that his time was wrong, but then what is going on? Do 2Min need to buy new watches? Did the Rolexes skip quality control and somehow these 2 idols are victims, scammed of thousands of dollars? Is it a trend? A secret code between them? I'll say that all of the above should be taken into consideration.

Finally, the third victim (?) of faulty watches, Park Jimin-ssi. In his case, we're dealing with a Patek Philippe. It's the type of watch that a media mogul like Logan Roy would appreciate, or at least that's what Tom Wambsgans thought.

Logan did not care at all about the watch and it ended up as the equivalent of hush money for a kid that they all made fun of when they offered him a million bucks if he scores at a game. Oh, I miss Succession so much.....

Back to Patek Philippe. As Tom said in his rehearsed funny line, everytime you look at it, it tells you how rich you are, aka a status symbol. Or in Jimin's case, it tells you Jungkook's birth hour?

Like Minho, we also know that Jimin has his Jimin hour, he knows his way around the date calculator and so on. And given all the investigative work already done by other people (like the thread I linked), would it be so outrageous, so hard to believe that it was intentional? I don't think so. It's a sweet gesture and it shows Jimin's attention to details. He did talk about Jungkook's birthday and was among the reasons why he was livestreaming.

Pre-recorded or not (or whatever excuses/conspiracies weirdos like to engage with) Jimin wore the watch in his home and it somehow it was Jungkook's birth hour. Could it all be just a massive coincidence? Maybe. Could the Patek Philippe be faulty? Maybe, but damn, these idols should stop buying expensive watches then.

Is it such a harmful and delusional theory that needs to be buried because some fans are either pussies or plain stupid? No. This fandom loves numbers so much when it involves 20 other pairings within BTS. I think it's fine to talk about an additional one. I'm not the biggest fan/follower of the number theories, especially when it comes to I-jikookers (they work those numbers like they're trying to fix the books), but it doesn't mean that everything is absurd or completely ridiculous.

I'm not ready to close the case, my work as a detective is not done yet. I'll put it on hold, who knows what other evidence I might find myself in posession of in the future?

[crownmemes]

Columbo Sentences, Vol. 1

(Sentences from Columbo (1968-2003). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"Oh, you're not intimidated, are you?"

"To think I had to talk you into this trip!"

"Who is it this week? The blonde or the redhead?"

"You know, there's only one thing that I'm not clear about…"

"You must have a devious mind!"

"You're making me nervous! That's quite a stare!"

"I know, I know - I'm making a pest of myself."

"I called last night to tell you I was coming, but there was no one home."

"That's pure guesswork, isn't it?"

"You have nothing to worry about. This is a clean bill of health."

"I'm not in the habit of making mistakes."

"I don't know which I feel most: relief or anger."

"I thought you knew everything?"

"I've been walking on the beach for hours, thinking."

"Are you a member of the club?"

"Isn't that such a coincidence? I'll tell you, this case is just full of them!"

"You have a marvellously convoluted mind!"

"The trouble with your theory is, not only is it very tenuous, but it's impossible to prove."

"If you come and work for me, I'm almost positive I can triple your yearly income."

"I guess we've both got a lot of paperwork to do, eh?"

"You sure don't look like a policeman."

"I don't care what I said before. I was wrong. Can't a person make a mistake?"

"All that concern about clothes - it's kind of vain, don't you think?"

"Some men do not want to look like an unmade bed!"

"Pull yourself together! There's no reason to be frightened!"

"The invitation said free champagne!"

"Haven't you ever seen people without faces before?"

"Did you know that there is a reasonable explanation for everything if you just put your mind to it?"

"You have no right to control my life!"

"No, I'm not your father. I'm your brother."

"If your choice in men friends was more mature, believe me, I would stay out of your life."

"The sooner you face the facts, the better."

"We're not alone. I suggest we discuss this later."

"People are inconsistent when they're in a state of shock. It's foolish of you to expect rational behaviour at a time like that."

"I think you finally overstayed your welcome."

"I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions!"

"I'm not sure what's gotten into you, but I don't think I like it."

"I'm warning you; no more questions!"

"You announced our engagement without ever letting me know!"

"We are going to get married, aren't we?"

"Life would be so simple if you two would just get along!"

"What difference does it make? Dead is dead, isn't it?"

"I don't want anyone to find out about us."

"There's no evidence if there's no murder, and you haven't proved that there was a murder."