#you don't even know how dark
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can you even call it a warm up if I'm going to bed without drawing anything big
and a sketch I made while sitting in the park today
#sketch#my art#bnha#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#all for one#midoriya izuku#bnha manga spoilers#only after I finished basically polishing this sketch did I notice how it's basically dark and light mode#also the first one is basically a redraw of illustration from vol 11#I know that translation of Tenko's words is different in official but eh#fanart#I've kind of recovered from recent chapters#and I was analysing those chapters all morning#I'm still thinking but otherwise the chapters are so good#also did you notice that AFO actually talked about how his other him didn't use that 'last thing' yet and that was in ch 410#and in ch 419 he did so it's real and it's still sad#but still AFO was never hiding it enough#from Tomura maybe but we as readers actually saw his plans play out#in any case I'm still just sitting with those two Izuku and Tenko interaction chapters#I waited long enough#and if you don't count AFO's return Izuku DID save Tenko and it's so interesting#since he now has to save his OTHER origin that was in ch 237 taught to kill whatever he wants#Tenko and Tomura both had 'origins' chapters and for now we only worked with 235 and 236#and even if Izuku helped with the start of 237 there's still AFO#in any case it was a hard week#also the second thing actually had them holding hands#and then I was like 'but at that point Izuku's hands are gone oh no'#and it was just Tenko holding air where the hand was destroyed#in any case that scene.
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RIP Will Campos the only person who was murdered this episode.
#I fucking loved this episode but also FUCK- OH UH DON'T READ MY TAGS IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED YET CAUSE UH SPOILERS LOL#dndads#dungeons and daddies#the peachyville horror#dndads spoilers#dndads s3 ep 5#tony collette#ebenezer white#[breathes]#TONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK#choosing to believe there's a chance they save him#I REALLY hope they save him#please these tags were gonna be me rambling about how I'm so ready for him to accidentally become an actual spy#and how Ebenezer is just one more person I need him to have homoerotic tension with#BUT NOW WHAT#Anyways poor Will but also not poor Will cause it was REALLY funny how much everyone was screwing with him this episode zkbfeskgzl#stupidly it was the moth bit that got me the most and particularly Matt describing its journey lmao#Somehow- like I knew the Trudy stuff was gonna be dark but somehow it was even darker than I imagined like fuuuuuck#Also sounds like the people who theorized there'd been an og human Trudy were *probably* right?#Heh. But was it a normal death or was she *murdered* dun dun dun#*Very* excited for Kelsey's boxing match#Francis UH OH GOD??#the two scoops line was perfect though#what else what else... No I'm just caught on that ending now god DAMN it I don't care if they pull some cheap shit to save him#oh actually I know exactly what I want out of this but I'll make a separate post about that one sec lol#undescribed
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Steve had always wanted to be a skilled fighter. The schools that churned out the best fighters all happened to be schools for holy warriors. It was possible that Steve maybe sort of lied a little (with the help of his friends Robin and Dustin) to get into this school by claiming he was full to the brim of religious fervor but hadn’t decided who to pledge his sword to yet. It shouldn’t have worked, if he were honest with himself, but by some stroke of luck it did, and he finished his training as one of the top combatants.
The issue now was that he had to pick a god whose crest to carry. There were all sorts of gods. Gods of water, gods of air, gods of agriculture, war gods, cat gods, plant gods...the list was endless. And while Steve was one of the best fighters around, he was most definitely not one of the best researchers. Thankfully Dustin and Robin were very clever and knew where to find details about the many gods in existence.
“So what kind of god do you want to follow? Maybe we can start there,” Robin asked.
“Uh…a good one?”
“You’re no help at all, you know that?” Dustin grumbled.
They suggested a local god known as Carver who stood for righteousness, but Steve turned that down. It didn't feel like a good fit. They suggested a love god by the name of Chrissy, who valued love of all kinds, romantic, platonic, familial...Steve had been tempted, very tempted, because Steve had always carried an excess of love in his heart. Robin had vetoed that one stating that Steve was already too reckless with his love and she wouldn't stand by and watch him break his own heart over and over again.
Dustin suggested a god of knowledge, Clarke, who blessed and guided those with curiosity, imagination, and a knack for invention. Steve shot that one down immediately. He was never one to be overly imaginative or curious; he preferred to deal with concrete things. Out of their quickly dwindling list, Robin reluctantly suggested Hargrove, a war god favored by a nearby kingdom, but if Carver was ill-fitting, then Hargrove was outright repellent to Steve.
"C'mon, Steve, you gotta pick someone!" Dustin huffed in frustration.
Robin thunked her head against the table in the library where they were looking up deities. She was obviously at her wit's end too. Steve, however, just dug his heels in with a particularly stubborn scowl.
"I can't just pick anyone!" Steve said. "If I'm going to pledge my sword to someone, it has to be someone...someone good. Someone that, I don't know, someone I can believe in, even when--no especially when things go wrong. That’s the whole point!"
"Yeah, I get that," Robin sighed, a mix of fond and annoyed, "but this is the eighth book we've gone through and the only one left here is called the King of Darkness which is hardly going to--huh."
Robin paused mid-rant to look at the page more closely. Steve and Dustin both huddled around her to peek into the book as well. Dustin also made a sound of curiosity.
"That's weird," Dustin said.
"Right?" Robin asked enthusiastically.
"What? What's weird?" Steve didn't get what caught their attention.
"This god only has a couple of sentences," Dustin explained, "And they don't really make sense. Something about dark creatures and the undeserving? The grammar and structure is all weird though."
"It looks like a half-assed translation," Robin added with a nod. "We should find the original text."
"Yeah! And if we can make a better translation, we could get it added to the next edition and they'd have to put our names on the book," Dustin said excitedly. Robin's eyes lit up at the thought and they both rushed off to the stacks to track down any original sources.
"Guys! Guys, what about my..."
The librarian hushed Steve, irritated. Steve groaned in defeat.
"...godly choices. Yeah, fine," Steve slumped back on his seat. "I need to find non-nerd friends."
Two days later, Robin and Dustin finished translating a slim, dusty book. They were nearly vibrating in their seats as Steve reviewed their notes on what they found. Dustin gripped his arm and gave him a shake.
"So? What do you think?" he asked excitedly.
Robin slung her arm across Steve's shoulders. With more tenderness than Steve expected, she said, "I know it doesn't seem like it, he doesn't really fit with your whole style, but it could work."
"Yeah," Steve said with a hopeful smile. "Yeah, this feels right."
--
It took longer than Steve would've liked, but eventually he managed to track down a small, crumbling shrine. It was an alcove carved near the entrance--no more than a crack in the stone really--of a cave at the edge of a lush forest. He almost missed it, it was so drowned in overgrown crawling vines and weeds. It bore a modest statue, no bigger than Steve, standing atop an equally modest plinth. There was a spot that obviously held a plaque once, but it must’ve been dug out by thieves at some point.
The sight of it made something in Steve's chest twinge; a strange pang of melancholy at seeing a god so forgotten and abandoned. It surprised him as he had never been particularly religious, but there was just something about this one that drew him in.
It was the middle of the day, so Steve quickly made camp and took advantage of the light to begin clearing the shrine. He started where the plaque had been, scrubbing off the dirt and moss that had filled the indentation. He knew a good smith; he could commission a new plaque to be made. After that, he weeded the immediate area around the plinth where worshipers would typically lay their offerings and pray.
By the time he finished that, it was late afternoon and he decided that was good enough for today. He had to eat and get a few hours of sleep so he could be alert once night fell. When he curled up on his bedroll, he couldn't help the grin that spread on his face. He was going to offer himself to his god tonight, and with any luck, his god would accept him.
--
He woke to a multitude of high pitched squeaks and the sound of many, many flapping wings. The sun had just fully set, and the stars that could be seen through the canopy burned brightly. Steve took his time to fasten on his armor and scabbard properly, and fixed his hair so not a strand was out of place. He took a few deep breaths to calm an unexpected bout of nerves before going to the shrine and kneeling.
His god had no official prayers. Or rather, the prayers for his god were forgotten. Robin and Dustin did their best to find anything prayer-like but it had been in vain. They suspected that most of the god's holy items and lore were purposely lost. Lacking that, Steve decided it was best that he introduce himself.
"Um, hi," he started and immediately winced. "Sorry. I'm not used to...this. I couldn't find any of your…holy words? Prayers? The right ways to speak to you, I guess.
"I'm Steve. Steve Harrington. I'm a fighter. I finished my training a few weeks back. I was the top of my cohort when it came to combat. I'm good with my sword and I know how to take a hit. I can turn just about anything into a weapon if it's needed."
Here Steve paused for a moment, straining to hear but there was nothing other than the typical sounds of a night out in the woods. Steve took a breath and plowed forward.
"I want to be more than a fighter, though. I don't want to just wave a sword around for nothing. I want it to...to matter. So I spent a lot of time trying to decide who to wield my sword for. It took me a while, but I found you. I want to be your shield and sword, if you'll have me."
Steve stopped again to listen. Nothing. Robin warned him this might happen. Gods didn't always accept warriors who offered themselves to them, and forgotten gods weren't always reachable. It was fine, though; he’d try again tomorrow night. Steve turned in just before dawn, eager for night again.
--
Steve worked on clearing the vines tangled around the statue's legs and feet. He yanked out the thick, scraggly vines, and carefully picked apart the prickling thorny ones. There was a particular gnarl of vines that didn't seem like they had a stranglehold on his god's statue. They were healthy and strong, and the way they curled and grew looked more like a caress than an invasion. He decided to leave those on, though he gently rearranged them while removing the more invasive vines so they looked more decorative.
When night arrived with the sound of squeaks and wings, Steve went to kneel at the shrine. He introduced himself again, gave the same spiel as the night before. Still he heard nothing. He scratched the back of his neck in mild insecurity.
“I guess I should tell you I didn’t find you on my own. My friends Robin and Dustin helped me. They’re way smarter than me, you know? Total nerds. I can swing a sword like nothing, but books and research? Yeah, that never works out for me, so they helped me look up all sorts of gods.
“There’s a lot of them. Way more than I thought. Dustin and Robin both recommended me ones or vetoed others. They were getting frustrated with me because I kept rejecting the ones they gave me.
“Then Robin found you. Kind of by accident, to be honest. But she did her research thing and I knew that I wanted to carry your symbol. It took me forever to find this shrine. Robin said this was probably the only shrine you had left, so I had to find it.
“Dustin kept saying it was on the other side of the forest, but obviously he was wrong. Not that he’ll ever admit it, the little shit, but whatever. I’m sorry your shrine was abandoned like this, but I promise I’ll fix it up. I’m good with my hands, I can do it.”
There was no response to his admittedly disorganized ramble. It was fine, he told himself. He needed to be patient. He’d come back the next night.
–
Around the statue’s waist there was another tangled mess of vines, except these vines had died and rotted to dark sludge. There was fungus growing on it, and it reeked. It was gross. Steve scrubbed at it for hours because the rot had stained the stone. He was able to get rid of the rot and most of the stains before going to catch a few hours of sleep in the afternoon.
Night fell and Steve was kneeling for the third time. He repeated most of what he said the previous two nights. There was still no response. He thought maybe he was pushing too hard. He’d never been the super talkative type anyway. He could share the quiet night with his god, if that was what his god wanted.
A few hours passed when he was startled out of his near meditative state by the sound of snapping twigs. He leapt to his feet, hand on his scabbard. Someone–a man by the look of it–stumbled out of the woods. He was pale and dark haired, dressed in ragged clothes that were probably awful even when they were new. He looked like a vagabond.
Steve stepped in front of the shrine, protectively. The stranger grinned at him and Steve could already tell he was not going to enjoy the conversation that was about to happen.
“Who are you and what are you doing here?” Steve asked firmly, cutting the man off before he could speak. The smile only grew wider.
“I could ask you the same thing, sir,” the man said, adopting the annoyed huff of a wealthy lord. Steve scowled.
“I asked first.”
“I asked second!”
“You didn’t ask me anything,” Steve responded, somewhat smug. The man paused and then snorted a laugh.
“Yeah, okay.” He raised his hands in mock surrender. “You got me.”
“So?”
“So what?”
“What are you doing here? Who are you?” Steve repeated shortly. The teasing grin was back, and Steve felt his scowl deepen.
“Nothing and no one, m’lord,” the man bows mockingly.
“I’m not a lord.”
“Huh. Could’ve fooled me. You’re certainly as demanding as any lord I’ve ever met.”
“Oh fuck you,” Steve snapped. “I’m a holy warrior.”
The man laughed at him outright.
“Well that doesn’t sound very holy warrior-ish. Are your type allowed to swear?”
Steve grinded his teeth and decided it was not worth it to continue this conversation for much longer.
“Look, if you’re here to steal, I’ve got nothing on me.”
“That’s exactly what someone with something to steal would say.”
“Well, I don’t! I’m on a pilgrimage and I don’t want to spill blood on holy ground. So.” Steve wrapped a hand around the hilt of his sword. “Leave. Please.”
“Holy ground? Here?” the man barks out a laugh. “Don’t you know what this place is?”
“Yes,” Steve says shortly, placing himself more firmly between the shrine and the man. “Please leave. There shouldn’t be violence done here.”
“Oh, it’s far too late for that. This place used to belong to the King of Darkness. It’s said he was so evil that nothing grew here until he was run out and defeated by the god of righteousness. You know the one. Really plays up the holier than thou thing by making his hair all gold and glowy? Gotta say, you could give him a run for his money though.”
“You’re wrong.”
“No really! Your hair is great. Way better than Carver, even with the glowy thing.”
“Not that!” Steve said in frustration. This guy really liked the sound of his own voice and Steve was starting to get a headache. It was near dawn and all he wanted was to spend the last hour or so in the quiet night with his god.
“So you agree your hair is better than a god’s?” The man tsks at him. “That’s pretty blasphemous. Are you sure you’re a holy warrior?”
“No! I mean, yes. Wait,” Steve growls at his own bumbling. “No, I’m not better than any god. But I am a holy warrior. Kind of.”
“Kind of.”
“Look, I’m working on it so I need you to leave. You’ve insulted him enough already.”
“Your god is the King of Dark–”
“Call him that again, and I will draw my sword,” Steve said, voice steely. “He’s the Lord of Night, and I won’t let you insult him at his own shrine.”
The man goes quiet for the first time since he showed up. He looked almost surprised, his mocking grin gone. His eyes flicked over to the dilapidated statue and then back at Steve.
“Lord of Night doesn’t sound much different than what I called him,” the man said lightly.
“Well, it is,” Steve told him. “Now, will you please leave?”
The man stared at him for a moment before shrugging. “Yeah, alright.” And then he left as suddenly as he had arrived.
The tension that had built up in Steve’s shoulders drained away. He went back to kneel in front of the shrine again when he noticed the barest hint of sunrise on the horizon. He cursed under his breath then was hit with a wave of embarrassment at cursing in front of the shrine and the whole situation that had transpired.
“I’m sorry about that,” Steve said, abashed. “It won’t happen again, I promise.”
–
It happened again.
now with an additional snippet here and here
ps: i do not do those reader tag list things. if you'd like to keep up with my stuff, follow my writing tag: trensu tells stories
#trensu tells stories#stranger things#steddie#steve harrington#robin buckley#dustin henderson#eddie munson#i don't even know what to call this#it's an idea i'm playing with but i don't know how well it works#if you're curious about the setting so am i!#if you figure it out do me a favor and tell me what it is#i have more written but it's not done#i'm hoping to post it as a oneshot on ao3 when i finish it#IF i finish it#we'll see i guess#ETA#came up with a title/tag for this#stasis in darkness
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As someone who is genderfae (microlabel under genderfluid), I have a lot of different experiences with gender.
I just wish someone told me sooner that it won't go like "today I'm a girl" "today I'm an enby" but more like ,,, "today I am a swamp witch" "today I am a feminine victorian vampire boy" "today I am a forest goblin collecting people's stares about my gender expression like shiny rocks on the ground" "today I'm an androgynous pirate lady"
Like,,, sure, are those real genders? I don't fucking now. If a cisgender person asked me what I identify as that day, would I answer like that? No, definitely not.
But to my genderqueer, trans and genderfluid friends; do you get me? I can't be alone with this, right?
#genderfluid#genderfae#gender expression#genderqueer#transgender#nonbinary#queer#questioning my gender yet again#gender crisis#gender#my gender soup has so many flavours you don't understand#i needed to explain to my friend that when i say i want to dress like the cutest victorian inspired goth vampire prince#it's not actually a male gender#like.. you would really think it is#but that is a very nonbiney gender somehow#don't ask me how#or maybe it does count as male?#but the femininest androgynous male you can think of#like cute pretty let me giggle like a little girl kinda feminine#i don't even know if half of these things make sense#“why don't you just say girl or enby”#because moon witch dark cottagecore female isn't the same#as go out in the sun and enjoy the breeze i command a ship androgynous pirate lady female#anyways
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i like to think everyone has a colour associated with them, whether its just your fave colour or what you generally wear most of or what colour your bedroom walls are. i always associate the name sophie with dark blue, my mum is always a nice turquoise, i like to think my colour is a bright sunflower yellow.
if you have a specific shade pls tell me i adore when ppl have associated colours and tell me them, bc i think of them when i see that colour
#shut up danni's talking#its one of my ultimate favourite aspects of character designs and i will forever use it w my characters#but i also think abt it w ppl!!!!#its almost certainly spawned from a combo of my mum passionately loving her colour + my primary school#my primary school's name/theme/whatever was related to the rainbow#its common for primary schools in the uk for the uniform to be polo shirts and schools would pick a colour and that was your uniform#but w my school's theme being rainbows they were like lol whatever colour as long as you're in a polo shirt#so kids would choose whichever shirt colour they wanted some kids switched it up every year#others stuck w the colour they chose all 6 years#so of course i would correlate ppl w colours which is how i always relate sophie w dark blue#bc i'd play w this girl called sophie in the afterschool club who always wore dark blue through all the years i knew her#tbh i still think of my brother also as dark blue bc he would wear the same colour#if you could not guess my colour was yellow and i always felt distinctly wrong when i had to wear a different colour#there were a couple times i had to borrow a new shirt bc mine got dirty or all mine hadn't been washed so i had to wear my brother's#i don't know if its just me but i feel like everyone has an affinity with a colour even if its n9t your fave#hence the poll lmao
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@sasheneskywalker i love when you enable me to ramble about things because oh my god do i have thoughts.
so recently, i made a post discussing the phenomena of DC x DP and DC x MLB crossovers and why they exist and part of that post was discussing how largely speaking, at least half, if not more of the Batfamily fandom doesn't read the comics. if they interact with canon DC material, it's adaptations that are their own sequestered universes and oftentimes not remotely comic accurate or seeking to be. the most obvious example is the Young Justice cartoon. i'm adding a cut to this post because it just got so long i'm so sorry.
a lot of times, when people are discussing the "why" of this oversaturation of fanon-only fandom, they blame Wayne Family Adventures. and i think, to a point, i agree WFA is responsible for a boom in this fandom. but as someone who's been in the fandom long before we had WFA, to me it's the other way around. WFA was DC's way of meeting the demand for this easy-to-get-into, easy-to-consume content about the Batfamily that predicates itself on the comics just enough to be vaguely the same characters, but has a more sitcom, slice-of-life sort of vibe so DC could profit off of this section of the fanbase that otherwise wasn't consuming its primary material. and well, it's definitely worked. not only that, but i have a weird theory that the decline in the MCU also led to the rise in the Batfamily fandom. when you consider the fan content that made the MCU popular within fandom, it's that 2012 "they all live in Avengers Tower and Thor is eating poptarts and Clint is in the vents and there are movie nights every Friday" sort of vibe. those were the fics that were a hallmark of the fandom. and as the MCU has strayed from well... quality content in general, but specifically well-thought-out crossover content where characters can have their own arcs but also exist in a wider story where they clearly care about each other, that fandom was sort of homeless. so where do you go, if you like a superhero found family where you can have villains for angst but also stick them all in one big family-like home for silly crack and have a plethora of options for gay ships? well. you go to the Batfamily. if you write a crack/fluff Batfamily genfic with silly vibes and low stakes instead of say, a fic about a very specific comic issue even if it's a popular comic, you're *going* to get more traction for the former. because the fanbase largely just isn't reading the comics.
and i feel... complicated about this. because on one hand, Don't Like Don't Read has been a tenet of my fandom experience. i'm very pro-fandom and that includes fandom content i don't like. and to an extent, i do think this sort of should apply to Batfamily fanon. i enjoy having my moments with other comic purists, giggling over exceptionally painful OOC headcanons or even facepalming in pain over some content but it is on me to not interact with that content. you don't make fandom a better place by being hostile to fans who engage with canon in ways you don't approve of. and frankly? we as comic readers are not going to get non-comic fans to read the comics by being asshats to them. no one is going to want to pick up any comic if we get a superiority complex about it. and also, i feel like we're all lying to ourselves a little bit insisting comics are so, so easy to get into. they're not. we can just all agree, they're really not. i've been single-handedly helping my sister get into comics, specifically Wonder Woman and no matter how simple i make it, i watch her get frustrated trying to understand what pre-Crisis and post-Crisis and New-52 and Flashpoint and all these things mean and what a retcon vs a reboot is and what a Crisis Event is and what the hell Diana's current backstory even *is*. sure, you can give someone a beginner list of comics to start with and slowly dip their toes in the water but sooner or later, *something* is going to confuse them. comics as a medium straight up aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea. and if someone *just* wants to read silly fluffy fanfiction about the Batfamily, i can't entirely begrudge them for not wanting to take the hours and hours out of their day to understand this medium. it's not an accessible medium to get into. "read this and this, but this run is out of print and this run wasn't collected in trades at all but also make sure you read that event in order and this is a good comic but the backstory in it is retconned and you *have* to read this it's so important but it's also really bad because the author kind of sucks" sounds. ridiculous for someone who like. just wants to read some stuff about Nightwing. sometimes, we all make reading comics sort of sound like a chore, not a hobby.
so my point is, i do extend some grace to Batfamily fanon for existing. i think my biggest gripe is, as i said in my other post, misuse of tags (if you're not creating content about comics, maybe you don't need the comics fandom tag on Ao3, just the all media types umbrella tag) and my far bigger gripe: when panels are taken out of context to support fanon only headcanons. if i could impart *anything* onto the Batfamily fandom as a comic fan it'd be this: if you haven't *read* the comic, don't spread the panel. if you don't even know what comic it's *from*, don't spread the panel. it's fine to use comic panels to discuss your headcanons, but so often i see someone spreading a comic panel from a comic they haven't read, and when asked where it's from, they can't source it. a silly example that comes to mind is a post going around, taking a panel where Dick, in his internal monologue goes "here comes the sun. do do do do." and the post is claiming it's from him getting buried alive. when that panel comes from Nightwing (1996) #140, and he gets buried alive in Nightwing (1996) #127, two completely different moments frankensteined together. if you're going to not read the comics, that's completely fine, but unless you're sure of the source and the context, panels shouldn't be spread around. i'm sick of this specifically happening to Red Robin (2009), with ppl claiming Tim has totally killed people because he blew up some of Ra's' bases, when those panels within context, make it clear he gave everyone time to escape. and in a later arc in that very comic, Tim grapples with the idea of murdering Captain Boomerang, and *specifically chooses not to*, because he doesn't agree with murder, even against the person who has hurt him the most. if you'd like to write fanfiction where Tim is pro-murder and has done some sketch things, i'm totally on board and would probably like to read it. but there's no need to pretend it's canon from a few panels you saw out of context.
beyond that, i think it's not *entirely* correct to say that fanon is harmless. whenever i see very WFA-positive posts, they often default to the argument that WFA is fun and silly, and comic fans are killjoys for not liking it. which. i think is complicated because the issue is, WFA and fanon don't exist in a vacuum. if you like WFA power to you, i don't think it's the worst thing ever, but i do think it's degrading to these characters because honestly? they feel incompetent in the webtoon. it's one thing if WFA was solely a slice-of-life sort of deal, just having silly episodes where Bruce is taking on a PTA mom or they're all fighting for the last cookie. but when WFA attempts to take on more serious plots with these characters, it *fundamentally* falls flat in understanding them. i get it, Bruce comforting Jason having a panic attack because a noise reminded him of the crowbar felt cute in a microcosm, but i'm so serious when i say that storyline destroyed how like. half of this fandom understands Jason Todd's relationship to his trauma. it doesn't understand how he reacts when he's triggered, what coping mechanisms he seeks out, and how he would handle Bruce comforting him. even if i can believe for a brief moment Jason *would* be triggered by something like that, him running and trying to hide and then getting a hug from Bruce to make it okay is just. painful. WFA needs everything to be wrapped up in a nice, neat little bow. so even when it starts to tackle interesting concepts, it makes them fall flat with its need to be soft, low stakes, hurt/comfort. there was a two-parter episode that dealt with the complicated mutual hatred/jealousy between Tim and Damian that *almost* really interested me because for once, it felt like the webtoon wanted to explore canon messy dynamics. but of course, it had to be fixed with one conversation and a hug. you don't mend the *years* of issues these characters have like that. WFA isn't in character because these characters are hyperbole cartoonified versions of themselves to fit within the medium and be a cute happy family.
because that right there, is the crux of it. the Batfamily fanon seeks to simplify the Batfamily and force them into a nuclear family. there are so many fantastic posts on here discussing how the nuclear family-ification of the Batfam is eroding decades worth of complex histories so i won't go too far into that. but what i will say is that there's this need, in the Batfamily fandom, for the Batfamily to exist as a unit. they are a *family*. (honestly i think calling it the Batfamily is a misnomer and has been for years but we're in too deep now.) they exist to each other first, and any teams or friends they have come secondary to this family unit. you can *specifically* see this demonstrated in what headcanons are becoming popular these days. i have an entire lengthy meta in my drafts about how i *loathe* the "the Batfamily meets the Justice League" genre of fanfic because it makes no *sense*. in order to have this genre of fic exist, you must operate under the assumption that no one in the League, or adjacent to the League, knows the Batfamily exists and are thus utterly shocked to discover Batman has kids. and to make *that* work, you have to strip *every single Batfamily member* of such important dynamics and friendships so you can lock them all in Gotham for their whole lives. Dick can't have the Titans, Tim can't have Young Justice, Duke & Cass can't have the Outsiders, Jason can't have the Outlaws, Damian can't have the Supersons, Babs can't have the Birds of Prey, and so on. because if they had these relationships, they would be known to the League. the Batfamily fandom doesn't care about this, it's just "silly fanfiction", it's not trying to be serious. but how can you say you like Dick Grayson as a character if you don't understand the Titans *are* his family? at some points of his life, moreso than the Batfamily even is. it is constantly repeated to us in most comics with Dick how much the Titans mean to him. he *needs* them to be who he is. the same extends to every other Batfamily member, most of which have been full League members at this point. but in fanon, that doesn't matter. the Batfamily are a sequestered unit first, and all of those side relationships are secondary and easy to toss away, if it makes your fanfic work better.
and because they have to be a unit first, you have these forced relationships that dump years of actual canon material for the sake of making them get along. the Batfamily fandom has its favorites and well. it's no secret it's usually the boys. Jason and Tim by *far* stand out as fandom faves so, their dynamic is a heavily explored one. it does matter that in canon they don't tend to get along and especially don't see each other as family. what matters is that you can push dynamics onto them. and so fanon gets all twisted up about which Robin Tim actually idolized as a kid (Dick) and what member of the Batfamily is pro-murder but still an older sibling figure to him and looks out for him (Helena, or if you want the dynamic of once tried to harm Tim but they've reconciled, Jean-Paul) in favor of who's the most popular. Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian are always going to be the standouts for popularity, but it's specifically Jason and Tim who are getting fanonized the most. and that's because really, we don't have much canon content of Tim that *isn't* the comics. for Dick you've got Young Justice (tv), for Damian you've got the DCAMU, for Jason you've sort of got the Under The Red Hood movie, but Tim sort of lingers in this limbo. (yes, he's in Young Justce (tv) and Titans (live action) but in neither is he the main character nor given much depth) so, he gets a *lot* projected onto him and has become fanonized. and even with Jason's animated movies, you don't see him interact with Tim, so people build it from the ground up how they want to see it, disregarding of canon comics. i think it's what makes him so popular in the first place- he's malleable into whatever you want or need him to be.
and of course, the fanon ignores other characters in the Batfamily it doesn't know about. i feel like you could create a tier list of Batfamily characters by their popularity, going from the fandom main characters: Tim, Jason, Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Damian. to the underrated: Steph, Duke, Babs, Cass. to the forgotten about unless they're convenient for a story: Kate, the Foxes, Helena Wayne, Carrie, Selina, Harper Row, Maps, Minhkhoa Khan. to the absolutely unknown: Helena Bertinelli, Jean-Paul Valley, Onyx Adams, the Clovers, Julia Pennyworth. it's not lost on me that the ignored characters tend to be women and people of color. which is both a canon and fanon problem, DC will continue adding interesting characters to the Batfamily, play with them for a few years, then drop them to default to the "Batboys" again. and it's a vicious cycle of the fandom only caring about the "Batboys", and thus people entering the fandom via fanon osmosis won't have content about the other characters, therefore, they won't be interested in those characters enough to create it, and it's just this ouroboros consuming itself, no matter how much canon content we have of these other characters. and it's ridiculous just how large the Batfamily is becoming because of this, which is why i'm a pre-Flashpoint fan, because then the Batfamily was contained enough to actually feel like a family with every character having nuances relationships with each other, but i digress because those thoughts could be their own post.
and the thing about fanon is it doesn't exist in a vacuum. DC has started turning the comics to accommodate for what fans are asking for, because fans will beg and beg for content they're not going to consume. Tim Drake: Robin had Tim as a coffee drinker because that's the fanon accepted headcanon. and the resolution of the recent Gotham War arc was for Bruce to buy this new manor for everyone to move in and call him. nevermind that most of these characters have their own homes and have zero reason to be moving in with Bruce. Tim had his marina in Tim Drake: Robin, Dick has Bludhaven, Cass and Steph have their little side of town in Batgirls (2022), and so on. these characters are being forced together as a unit, as one big happy family living together, to appease what non-comic fans want and it's damaging comic relationships. Robin: Knight Terrors saw Jason and Tim team up and working together, which i've seen varying opinions on but i personally despised. their interactions made zero sense for any of their canon history, but it appeases them being this close sibling relationship that fanon acts like they are. also the fears they faced in their respective knight terrors didn't make sense for either character and *only* worked as a moment of bringing them together so they could reassure each other and have this weird dreamscape bonding moment. the canon is bending itself to the will of fanon rather than building on the pre-existing complex relationships. Tim barely even gets along with his most important team in Dark Crisis: Young Justice because it seems the only important relationships the Batfamily can have is with each other. and when we do see them outside of the Batfamily, it only seems to be to relive the glory days like with World's Finest: Teen Titans, instead of developing them as they currently exist. this isn't recent in the comics, it feels like you can trace it back to the New-52, but it does feel a *lot* worse over the recent years. WFA is fine when it exists in its own bubble, but the simple truth is, DC content never exists on its own. the adaptations will reflect back onto the comics. (the damage the Young Justice cartoon has done to some characters should honestly be studied) and so it does frustrate me a bit when fanon-only or adaptation-only fans act like we're being nothing but killjoys for being frustrated with this. since they don't read the comics, they don't see how the comics are suffering as a result of this.
people argue about what's out of character for the comics they don't even read. i'm sorry, but "bad dad Bruce" is consistently canon. that man is just kind of shitty. when you take someone who has the drive he has, who has this need for the Mission first, who needs a teenager in spandex next to him to keep him off the ledge, that guy is sort of going to be a shitty father figure. he just is. not on purpose or with malice, but when you compare him to any other dad in a big DC family, he sure takes the cake. it's why characters like Oliver Queen tend to *really* fucking hate Bruce for how he treats his kids. Bruce loves fiercely, but he doesn't do well with putting that love first. and his love is a controlling one, he is very particular about controlling how others in the Batfamily are "allowed" to operate. it's what drives the wedge between him and Dick, it's why Steph is never a true daughter to him. (besides the reason of her needing to be a love interest to Tim first, anyway-) i've never understood the massive outcry of people reacting to Bruce kinda being shitty in comics they're not reading. there are some moments that get ridiculously OOC with how cartoonishly evil he is (the whole Gotham War arc and that... complicated mess with Jason) but largely if you want sitcom loving nuclear father Bruce, you have to accept that is a fanon thing, not a canon one. the Batfamily being a nuclear family in *general* is fanon. most of the "Batkids" don't actually see Bruce in a particularly fatherly light and begging for moments where he calls them his kids or they call him dad outside of incredibly specific circumstances is just OOC.
it's getting harder and harder to exist peacefully in this fandom it feels like, if you don't comply to the standard fanon has set. i'm happy people are having fun with their blorbos, even if in ways i dislike, but that "harmless fandom fun" does ripple it's way back to canon, eventually. so i end up pretty tangled with my feelings because are fans at fault for DC making these poor decisions? probably not, but it certainly feels like an unfortunate cause-and-effect situation whether at the end of the day, nobody is happy. and of course, i know some fanon-only fans are striving to be more canon accurate and care about canon dynamics more than others, but for them it's always going to be an uphill battle with the above-mentioned out-of-context panels thrown around and ever-pervasive fanon overtaking anything that's truly seeking to be canon compliant. so really, it sometimes feels like we're all losing.
#necrotic festerings#batfamily#batfamily meta#dc comics#fandom meta#fan studies#fanon vs canon#i deleted paragraphs of this to try to make it shorter. it failed btw.#anyway i got into comics when i was like 12 with the dark knight returns#and if i hadn't been into this medium for a decade i don't think i would be able to get into it as an adult so i get it#bc i'm trying to get into marvel comics and fuck ME am i confused as fuck.#do marvel comics have like. an equivalent to crisis events?#is the ultimates like their version of the new-52? i do NOT know#it's so hard and daunting so trust me i get it#if you never wanna pick up a comic god i respect you you're so right this is fucking miserable#i want to live and let live in fandom but *god* i'm struggling here#i used to bend to the will of fanon fun fact#i wrote my share of tim and jason fics playing into fanon tropes. god i hate them *now* but they did fucking numbers.#and i used to care more about getting attention in fandom than being accurate#i've matured now. it's why i write on anonymous so much to remind myself this should be for me.#anyway i could do a character study on every batfam member as fanon vs canon#ESPECIALLY tim and jason. i know so much about them trust me.#jason todd fans annoyed me so much i once sat and read almost every fucking jason comic. i didn't even like him.#but i tell you what i know that man and he will never leave my top five characters on league of comics.#this is so long. is anyone going to read all of this.#if you do you're a fucking trooper i'm saluting you.#this isn't even all of my thoughts i had to condense myself.#bc i also have thoughts about how this means some characters no longer get to exist outside of the batfam#because they only exist as a member of the unit#ergo we have very little current content of helena bertinelli or onyx adams or duke thomas
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Video clips: Liam at Cardiff, Lock the Box, Oasis at iTunes, Liam at Rockfield
#half the world away#diamond in the dark#while obviously i don't pretend to know with certainty whom noel's speaking to in HTWA#i have a hard time believing liam would choose a noel-sung song and repeatedly dedicate it to noel in the days before their reunion#unless liam believed and maybe with good reason that HTWA#is about the two of them or could be MADE to be about the two of them with enough effort on liam's part#also that itunes camera team deserves an award 'cause cutting over to the back of liam's head as noel sings about warning signs? brutal#this guy's in love with you#things#2024#2009#noel interview#lyric analysis#others on nl#liam on noel#1994#2022#noel on liam#liam interview#both interview#lock the box#comin' on strong#2006#2017#itunes 09#i don't know what anyone else would even make of this#i'm vacillating between being fine with it and being embarrassed at how it spiraled from my original plan#which was just to compare the young/old lyrics to the liam interview from the face#then suddenly i'm fucking giffing diamond in the dark and looking up a bacharach bio on some sketch website
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Seriously how can M*r*uders stans like random Slytherins (who tf are Evan Rosier, Pandora (is that Luna's mum and why tf is she Evan Rosier's twin in half of these), and I don't even want to discuss Regulus) and make them Actually Misunderstood Good People Who Were Forced Down That Path when at least one of them *coughreguluscough* was obsessed with Voldemort
And then turn around and make Snape an awful person?
#i saw a post with hcs about the marauders and the “slytherin skittles”#and i swear to god they gave everyone a lil nuance but snape was evil#just... how?????#im starting to wonder if they just can't accept that the marauders were actually horrible people as teens#and so in order to digest that they need to make snape awful to be like “Oh but he DESERVED it because he's So Awful”#it's just ridiculous#like i hate james but i can also acknowledge that he did ultimately love lily and harry and would have been a loving partner and dad#even if he was a fool#and i don't vibe well with sirius but i also acknowledge that he was fucking traumatised so yeah he wouldn't be the best person#why is it so hard for the marauders stans to understand that their faves tormenting a geniunely innocent child#because honestly? severus was innocent from the start#they're the ones who pushed him over the edge#I've said it once and I'll it again:#being into the Dark Arts doesn't automatically make someone evil#anyway i need to go sleep#or at least try. i got very pissed lmao#severus snape#pro snape#anti marauders fandom#(not even anti marauders as much its their fandom that pisses me off)#also#anti james potter#(just because i want to be petty UwU)#snape defense#also you know what#anti regulus black#<-whoever he was it wasnt what the fandom said#in my mind he was one of the worst out of the black cousins from an early age#(mostly as a mental Fuck You to the stans lmao)
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#noivern#one of my all-dragon team's staples! thus i have a soft spot for this pokémon. not really for any other reason than that#just a cool badass design. big bat dragon. objectively badass#though i think it should be a dragon/dark type instead of dragon/flying. hydreigon typing#also hi it's me from the future. a few hours before this posts. i just want to complain a little bit#about how fucking difficult this is getting now that i'm getting into alolan forms in the queue#i don't. fucking. know how to use blender. this is kicking my ass. i spent like two hours this morning just trying to get those alolan form#working. and i didn't even successfully do that for two of them#so if you like alolan forms i am Really sorry but they are not gonna be up to par for the production value i have set for myself on this#blog. i've fuckin doomed myself by getting this much of a following and i know i can't get away with the same shit i used to#be able to so like. just fuckin bear with me please it's turning into a whole wreck here in the future in gen 7
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Sympathy for the Devil ~ Part 2
A Donaka Mark x housekeeper!Reader fic, based on @discoscoob 's concept & bot! Warnings: Donaka Mark is a bad man with a soft spot for you. dark romance, possessive behavior, red flag red flag girl!🔺, psychological games, power imbalance, eventual dubcon/nsfw.
one.
Two. 二
It’s a week later, when you see him again.
It's out on the winding streets near his house, on your day off. You’re taking a jog, when he roars by in his white Lamborghini, so close to your side of the road that you feel the pull of the wind off the aerodynamic car.
He’s enjoying the feeling of power and control behind the wheel, before he sees you, in your workout clothes and all sweaty in the muggy summer heat. He feels a spear of possessiveness rip through him, and ultimately it’s the reason he slams on the breaks, whipping in reverse back to you, the supercar growling in agreement with his mood. “It’s too hot out here. You should use the gym in the house,” he tells you rather tersely.
The only gym you know of in the house is his personal workout space–you hadn’t dreamed it could be used by the staff, hadn’t even thought to ask. When you just look back at him with owlish eyes, catching your breath with hands on your hips, he adds with annoyance, “And the roads are too narrow, people drive like maniacs. Someone might hit you.”
This is where you grin, flashing him an insouciant smile, but managing to keep your commentary on his own driving to yourself. “Thank you, Sir…” you pant. “But I like being outside.” There’s no better way to get to know a place, than looking at it while on foot. You love the lush streets of this neighborhood, the towering trees and greenery, the shining blue sea in the distance. It's way more interesting than running like a hamster on a treadmill.
Donaka, however, is not amused. He finds he hates the thought of other men seeing you running around in those tight clothes, looking so…edible...and sweaty. Your defiance only fuels his desire to exert his will over you. “It’s too dangerous,” he insists in a firm, authoritarian tone.
Maybe because it’s your day off, you feel braver than usual, but you just lift your eyebrows at him and smile. “It’s fine.”
“I’ll give you a ride back. Get in.”
The thought of putting your sweaty behind in your boss’s $500,000 car–even if it is ugly to boot–literally horrifies you.
“I don't want to get your nice car dirty. I'll be home soon."
You finger wave, and jog off, hoping that will be the end of the exchange.
With narrowed eyes he glares at your receding form in his rearview mirror. It’s the first time you’ve really defied him, and as annoyed as he is, he finds himself semi-hard from this interaction. He resists the urge to run you down and make you obey him. The thought actually makes him shudder to himself.
He’d known you were going to be fun, but he hadn’t anticipated just how much.
He lives for the challenge of breaking the strong, and corrupting the innocent. It was looking like you were both those things, and by his reckoning–your days of independence were numbered. Soon…you would be his docile little pet, curled up at his feet.
all chapters
#one of the things i remember most about hong kong was how LUSH the greenery was by the road 😍#donaka mark#is this a yandere fic?#i don't even know#dark romance def tho#ye be warned#he not a nice man#donaka mark x reader#donaka mark x you#donaka mark x y/n#keanu reeves#keanu reeves x reader#man of tai chi#man of tai chi fic#julia's deranged donaka x housekeeper fic
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Obsessed with Vi being like, due to Jinx's actions I think she has to die. But I can't kill my little sister. Therefore Jinx is no longer my sister and really my sister died years ago. That's not how that works! But also how else is she supposed to cope i guess.
#mine#arcane spoilers#i don't know if i'm saying anything interesting but i can't stop thinking about it#she's like obi wan acting like anakin is dead after he turns to the dark side#except he has the excuse of the dark side affecting people's personalities#jinx just changed#and not even that much when you come down to it#the things she's saying simultaneously make no sense and make perfect sense#because how else is she supposed to cope?#arcane#vi#jinx#jinx and vi#my meta#meta#sort of
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Racism and misogynoir are so apparent in fandom, especially when it comes to shipping because why is it when a white male, sometimes female but I see it more with the former, character is on screen with a love interest, particularly woc, especially if they're black, and even with all the emotional scenes or just moments where they look at one another in ways different from the rest, it's met with "No, they aren't dating/the show is not going to put them together" but let the other love interest be white as well and suddenly it all makes sense? Heck, the examples I mentioned above don't even have to exist between the latter for some to STILL go and believe this rhetoric (eg. some Jace and Helaena shippers because, even if these two only interacted with a dance but yet we see Baela console Jace, after he seeks her out, apparently it's to far fetched to believe that Jacela could be a thing?!)
Sometimes it could be a headcanon that, largely, would make sense (and oftentimes was birth due to lack of respect that the poc characters could have been given by the writers *cough* TVD *cough*), and yet you'd still have people dismissing it left and right and spewing hate. At a HEADCANON! And I'm not saying that just because the other person in the ship is poc that you have to ship them, I'm not, but it's very apparent to many poc fans in fandom that unless the characters are swapping spit and doing the nasty, the possibility of them being viewed in any romantic lens feels too much of stretch even though their white counterparts don't have to jump through the same loops.
#fandom racism#and even if the characters are already together in some way you still have some in the fandom picking a part every little thing#and don't let it be a love triangle either bc even tho the main consensus is supposed to be rooting for one side#if the other happens to be poc you can BET that their will be racial undertones from the fandom used as “justification”#(mark/amber/eve even tho mark is half korean but even with that some fans still viewed him as white and used that even more to hate on amber#and use a lot of misogynior) i remember those dark days in that fandom#from the early days until the ends of the westallen to jacela its so apparent especially when the love interest is black#and its not only jace/helaena shipprs that do this but cregan/sara shippers as well#and this is coming from someone who doesn't even mind jacelaena (prefers jace/hel/baela tho)#dont even get me started on the star wars fandom & how the idea of finn and rey was too out there l#and how much racism finn & john boyega had to deal with as a result#and i just know the same will happen with percy & annabeth when rachel is added (as someone who ships all three of them too)#like you can ship whomever you want but at the same time don't ignore/be apart of this racist and hateful rhetoric#jacela#sydcarmy#percabeth#westallen#bc its the way that this can be applied to SO MANY fandoms and ships that it's exhausting#finnrey#bamon#klonnie#kennett#tvd#pjo#star wars#hotd#the flash#for queer stories too bc ill never forget how some acted about dare me even tho the afro latina character was literally being groomed!#so many examples to many to name 😭#stefonnie
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(Alt text under read more)
Part 2
:] I do enjoy the pain
ID start: A doodle of the Pale King and Pure Vessel from Hollow Knight as humans. It's a close-up of their hands. The Pale King holds his trembling hand along his body when the Pure Vessel gently grabs his wrist and hand. He flinches and almost pulls away from them, but he doesn't. End ID.
ID start: A doodle of the Pale King and Pure Vessel from Hollow Knight as humans. The Pure Vessel leans against their father's arm, holding it tightly. Their brows furrowed as they look down, looking troubled or even sad. End ID.
ID start: A doodle of the Pale King and Pure Vessel from Hollow Knight as humans. A side view shot of the Pale King, with only the horns and the top of the head of the Pure Vessel visible as they lean against him. They say, "...I love you too, papa..." The Pale King looks shocked, tears pressing into his eyes. End ID.
ID start: A doodle of the Pale King and Pure Vessel from Hollow Knight as humans. The Pale King lifts his head up, his nose scrunching up as he closes his eyes tightly. He trembles as he tries to bite back his tears. One tear slowly falls down his cheek. End ID.
#hollow knight#hollow knight gijinka#pale king#pure vessel#faaf au#hk au#my art#doodle#spooky arts#how does it feel pk? how does it feel to feel loved when you know you don't deserve to be? how does it feel to know the person you've hurt#the most still somehow holds some affection for you? how does it feel when the one person who should blame you and hate you DOESN'T?#How does it feel to be forgiven when you know you don't deserve to be? That you haven't earned this?#I just know that ironically enough. these are some of the worst possible words he could have heard from them.#an 'i hate you' would have been expected. it would have been the correct reaction even. it would be EASIER.#easier to hear and deal with. it'd make it easier to move on from what he has done. or even validated his own self-hate.#on that note i love drawing his hands almost as dark as pv's :] makes them look mearly identical.#but only because his are stained with their blood.
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#I've read it.#**** you just read fluff chaos and little amount of angst and here BUM#It took me almost 2 hours to read just one chapter I don't know why but no regrets at all#With all these emotional ups and downs#I have one novel that I hold on the very top of the angst stories (I haven't read that many books#stories and fics and can judge only withing that little I have)#but if mnmc keep going like this this I need to widen my place on top...#I've cried over Mojo again#The same scene and here we go again. how.#And then this one SORRY I CAN'T PUT IT INTO WORDS#The way they triet each other#they both go through hell#All little details about their emotions#Their differences yet so many similarities#I don't like the angst is placed out of nowhere but this fic was BORN IN ANGST#I WANNA BITE BIG MAMA'S HEAD OFF#FOR THE GOD'S SAKE LEON KILL HER FRIEND#YOU WANTED LEO JUST TO BE SAFE BUT WHAT'S THE MEANING IF HE'S NOT#AND IT'S SO DARK IN THEIR CEILING THAT LEON COULDN'T EVEN SEE WHAT'S GOING ON WITH LEO#SO MANY THINGS HAPPENED AT ONE TIME#I DID COUNT WITHOUT JOKES HOW MANY TIMES I DID CRY DON'T JUDGE (I AM HARD TO CRY ON SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T CATCH MY ATTENTION I GUESS MY AT#ENTION IS CAUGHT WELL ENOUGH) 4 TIMES. 4 F***ING TIMES#FOR THE GOD'S SAKE I WANNA SEE CLICHE WHEN THEIR BROTHERS JUST BOOOM CRUSH EVERYTHING AROUND ON THIS AIRPLANE AND SAVE THEIR BROTHERS I WAN#A A CLICHE#I DON'T WANT IT TO BE THE END OF THE STORY WHEN LEON DIES HOW HE WANTED FROM THE VERY BEGINNING#I AM NOT OKAY OVER THE WAY HE TREATS THESE KIDS#OR LEO SUDDENLY A BOOST OF POWERS AND TELEPORTS THEM#ANYTHING#JUST NOT DEATH#AT LEAST NOT LIKE THIS
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the most affective thing I've ever watched on climate change was comedian Jordan Klepper's episode on the L'eau Est La Vie water protectors in Louisiana. Not because it was well put together or terribly comprehensive (there's a documentary that does it better) but because it was the first time I'd seen a public figure follow in activists' footsteps---and be scared so absolutely shitless, he can't quite hide it from the cameras.
these days, Klepper goes to the big political rallies and smirks and jokes, and though that can be fun to watch---it just isn't the same.
#I don't say this with disdain; I know exactly how brave I can be#and I am probably closer to klepper than I want to admit. (maybe not even that brave; you don't see me in a boat in the dark.)#but that episode really did illuminate things. it highlighted how incredible these people are; that absolute clarity of purpose#meted with righteous anger and not a lack of fear but a devotion that eclipses it.#sacred. I think it's sacred.#it's been 5 years and I still think about that episode.
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hang on lemme cook. LEMME COOK
Okay so I've been thinking about the stolitz breakup since I watched it last night and the thing I keep thinking about is Stolas saying, "Blitzo, I think so very highly of you...I didn't realize you think so low of me." It is a painful line read, Bryce Pinkham at his very best. And in a way Stolas is right, the fact that Blitzo thinks Stolas would willfully manipulate and play with Blitzo's emotions is a low opinion to have of him. It also makes sense that he sends Blitzo away because he's yelling at him (even Blitzo's cadence sounds a bit like Stella). However, I think Stolas misunderstands where Blitzo is coming from.
We know Stolas is aware of the power dynamic between them, and specifically the transactional nature, and that he is aware that it is unhealthy. However, I think Stolas only understands that transactional part as the unhealthy bit. Stolas (in "Full Moon" and "Just Look My Way") focuses on the "unspoken contract" and how tethered they are to each other. He thinks by giving Blitzo the crystal and semi-confessing (Stolas never says the words "I love you") it means they will be on even ground and Blitzo won't feel like he has to whore himself out for Stolas's grimoire (something he needs for his business so he can live). Then Blitzo can actually choose to stay with him or not. But he doesn't understand that even without the grimoire there's the inherent power imbalance on the hell hierarchy level.
Stolas says in "Just Look My Way", "I don't care that you're of lower station" and that's because he doesn't. But that doesn't mean Stolas is an imp ally. Stolas has never indicated that Blitzo isn't just the exception. Just in this episode Stolas was seen making life harder for his imp butler, and then there's the scene in "Seeing Stars" where he is holding the imp butler holding the phone and squeezing him when he gets pissed. His interactions with Moxie and Millie also don't really make it seem like he cares that much about them as people. Blitzo isn't wrong when he calls out Stolas's treatment of his butlers, or when he says that Stolas was dismissing him in a way that felt disrespectful. Even him putting his hand in his face feels like how he would dismiss a servant.
Throughout the entire conversation Stolas is very cordial, very genuine, and very respectful of Blitzo's emotions-right up until he takes Blitzo's response as a rejection-but even then Stolas always has the power in the conversation. Even when he is being emotionally vulnerable, he is still the one controlling the conversation. He's the one stressing Blitzo out with it. Even when he gets on his knees to put the crystal on Blitzo's glove he is technically taking the choice away from Blitzo to choose it. And then his reaction to Blitzo thinking it's roleplay is that Blitzo really doesn't want him is to completely shutdown emotionally and not listen to Blitzo.
And Blitzo is not wrong for thinking it's about sex. Half of this is Blitzo convincing himself it's roleplay because he doesn't believe anybody could truly love him, but also when isn't it about sex with Stolas? The only times where it hasn't been was after Ozzie's when Stolas offers Blitzo to come inside (which Blitzo did not believe and did not react well to) and arguably the Harvest Moon Festival where Stolas invites him, which Blitzo honestly could have misconstrued as Stolas wanting to bring his sidepiece with him. You could also make the case for "Seeing Stars" but that episode has them falling back into horny during a mission they are both participating in. And as I pointed out in an earlier post how is Blitzo supposed to realize how highly Stolas views him? Stolas has called Blitzo his "impish plaything" and covered his face at Ozzie's and has generally been condescending to him ("You are so cute when you are serious"). We know that Stolas is desperately in love with Blitzo and would do anything for him, but Blitzo himself has never really gotten that confirmation.
Hell, Blitzo is actively doing what Stolas wanted. His reaction to Stolas's semi-confession by thinking it's roleplay is specifically proof that he does want to keep this up, even if he doesn't realize the feelings behind it. And then later he is specifically trying to have a conversation with Stolas and process what's going on ("Let's go!" As in "let's have this conversation!"). The fact that Stolas sends Blitzo away when he himself starts crying, when Blitzo has been on the verge of tears throughout most of this conversation proves that Stolas is not ready to have this uncomfortable conversation. He was only ready for Blitzo to either accept or reject him, and he thought that their issues would be fixed.
"Blitzo, I think so very highly of you...I didn't realize you think so low of me." No, it's not that he thinks so low of you, it's that he has almost only seen the outrageously horny part of you, that he's more aware of this power dynamic than you, and is rightfully calling you out for how you fumbled this confession. You clearly love Blitzo, you have the right idea, but you still have these inherent biases and are unaware of the power imbalance, and you need to reevaluate some things.
This isn't to absolve Blitzo of the part he played in the breakup, but since Stolas took the initiative and almost always people are more willing to take his side, I feel he needs to be held more accountable.
#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#helluva stolas#helluva blitzo#stolitz#i don't know if any of this makes sense#once i realized that stolas couldn't handle the conversation when he was crying even though blitzo had already been near tears#i couldn't stop thinking about it#also couldn't stop thinking about it when I realized that blitzo is the only imp stolas really respects#these two desperately need to be away from each other to reevaluate themselves#something i didn't want to include in the post proper#but you know that line 'or primed to sate my dark temptations'#i think is a sign of how stolas thinks of imps/blitzo#as in 'you were made specifically to satisfy me' as in 'imps are made to satisfy or serve as tempters'#idk i'm not sure but it's been rattling in my mind
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