#you dirty dogs ;)

[aziraphalesbookkeeper]

Listen I didn't go into this a parksborn truther but boy I'm leaving as one

[smxlbuddy]

currently unwell

[crunch-barr]

thank you @capcavan for the art idea. I got carried away. deeply unserious cool comix ft. crusty white bichon frisé

[mintyeggs]

oh arthur, what has hunger made you do?

[cungader0]

what the dogs doin

[finniscrying]

*rattles the bars of my enclosure* LET ME AT HIM LET ME AT HIM

[beanghostprincess]

Serving cunt since the ??th century

[themellowminx]

After the Fire Dies ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ MDNI

———-> fyodor x reader x dazai

You made a mistake, how will you repent?

< After the actual smut, but still suggestive content, not proof read >

“S-seven…” You could hardly feel anymore, sweat clung to your body and your breaths came in panting gasps, all you could think about was how bad you had fucked up, was that really only a few hours ago? When Dazai was holding you so tightly, gripping you in all the right places. But now, your blood dripped from the slim slashes across your thighs and stained the white bedsheets, you struggled against your restraints, straining your arm to push the silky, black, blindfold off your eyes.

“So, malishka,” You could hear the grin in his smooth voice as he teased you with that special pet name, baby, not slut, or whore, but baby. He knew you’d get it wrong. You were almost certain that even if you did guess right, they wouldn't stop. “Who was touching you just now? Who made you cum?” Sucking in as much air as possible, limbs heavy, nose stuffed and tears streaked your poor, flushed face.

“You–Fedya.” A self-satisfied hmm came from one of them, you guess Dazai by the tone. Instantly you regretted your decision. ‘Wait–actually–”

“Too late, you already made a choice.” Dazai was speaking now, his voice lacked the accent that you loved so much, but still carried such a lustful melody. Suddenly the blindfold was slowly peeled off and you squinted your tear-filled eyes to the destroyed bedroom. Frantically looking at your lover, Fyodor, for approval, you were met with both men smirking down at you. So pretty. They were both so beautiful, where Fedya was slim angles and sharp bones, pale skin and striking, sharp eyes, Dazai was stronger, softer, still lean but bigger, not as deathly-pale and a mop of curly brown hair with matching honey eyes. They made a lovely pair, and had ruined you beyond comprehension.

“Ding ding ding!” Dazai sang out, hopping on the bed next to you.

“Good job malishka, how’d you know?” You guessed correctly? Finally! Honestly part of it was dumb luck but…

“You get…when you get tired you get softer, and you also kept licking the blood from my thighs, I figured Dazai would do that too but he’s inclined to be more–well–rough.” You looked down sheepishly. Fyodor pat your head and undid the restraints on your wrists and ankles, now you realized just how exposed you had been. A puddle of liquid, cum and spit and sweat and blood, was layered on every inch of your skin. Both of them started peppering kisses along your flesh, prickled with chills yet still overheated, a kiss to the collarbone by one man, a peck in between your breasts from another, they continued and Fyodor eventually went to fetch a warm cloth.

“What did we learn malishka?” Fyodor asked you later that night, Dazai in deep-sleep on the other side of the bed, still in the aftershock of their tortuous play-time, you trembled slightly against Fyodor's bare chest.

“I’m never going to sleep with another person–”

“No, say it exactly.”

“I-I am never going to cheat on you…” You looked back up at him for guidance.

“With Dazai,” He guided your words.

“Cheat on you with Dazai, or anyone else, ever again. I only want–need–you, Fedya.” He hummed at your confession. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Y/n.” He replied simply, and you drifted off into sleep, body aching and face tear-stained and salty, still naked, but warm and so, so full

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ thx for reading! :)

[silverspleen]

STUPID SHIP MEME DRAWINGS.

I just think they should kiss maybe?

Obsessed (positive??) with the dynamic of guy who betrays his country so he can run off with the militia he's been working with because he gets a case of loyalty feelings so bad he goes and blows himself up X morally upstanding traumatic backstory woman having the worst fucking time of her life (again) who really just needs someone to be as fanatically loyal as possible to her, as a person who is really into the inherent eroticism of the hierarchical military power dynamic focus on loyalty and the use of "yes ma'am" as I love you.

Obsessed (negative) with the propaganda implications that we seem to have ignored of the fact that the three most important people in an arabic woman's life are 2 (two) white guys and her brother, who betrays her and becomes a villain in the later games, and the fucking insidious-ass narrative choice of placing one of said white guys in said militia as like, the tacit fact that this organization is ok only because the western white guys are cool with it. Stop introducing more ULF people just to kill them!!! I SEE YOU WRITERS!!! YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME!!!!!!

because, once again, the character dynamic? I am sick for it. He dropped a building on himself for her and then came back???? He came back???? He could have gone anywhere but he came back to her???? I'm unwell. I think I have covid. I need to go lie down.

Anyway my city now my characters now smashing them together like barbies watching that .gif of them staring at each other eighty times reading all the fanfiction goodbye

you shouldn't blow yourself up in the furnace I want to blow myself up in the furnace for you as my own personal choice and you should order me to do it because you're such a good leader what is wrong with youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh *gnaws on furniture*

WE DON'T EVEN GET TO SEE HIM COME BACK TO HER. THANK YOU FIC WRITERS YOU KNOW THAT REUNION MUST BE SO ANGST THE COMPLEX DYNAMIC OF SACRIFICING YOURSELF FOR SOMEONE AND MAKING IT OUT AND BACK TO THEM AGAIN!!!!!!! THE GUILT! THE YEARNING! THE LOYALTY! I AM GOING TO EXPLODE.

[pastafossa]

Me, to Fozzie: do you wanna go for a ride? Happy ride? Go for ride?

Fozzie: OH YES I LOVE TO RIDE, GO IN CAR, RIDE, RIDE, I LOVE YOU MOTHER, OH YOU ARE BEST MOTHER

ME: *pulls into vet parking lot*

Fozzie:

[anticidic]

Thinking about how this illustrates that Ango regularly visits Oda's grave, even in the pouring rain. The weather doesn't matter to him. Good or bad. The guilt is just that strong, and that pervasive.

[multishipperofgaydeadwizards]

"I can walk! I can walk" -barty who can't even stand up

[shiftythrifting]

Someone didn't think this through

[precious-little-scoundrel]

It’s the sorta young thing that makes Gale order Bucky to sit on his hands so he doesn’t pinch her cheeks lbr

right?! like i don’t know it’s sort of sweet to me 😅 how angel baby is so embarrassed by it but they wouldn’t bat an eye

Bucky Egan who has been raised by his mother with two sisters in the house and who has known enough women biblically to probably have done obscene things when they’re bleeding is not gonna bat an eye at periods happening in his healthy child

[zappedbyzabka]

A/B/O au where Alpha runt Daniel’s bonsai shop stays on it’s feet but it’s also halfway a flower shop—which is how he finds out through a bouquet order that Johnny Lawrence is to be wedded.

Your choice who the fiance is, but it doesn’t quite matter to Danny who the groom is to the omega, just that Johnny is engaged.

Daniel’s a great bullshitter and pretends he isn’t buzzing for that special, awful client to come in and pick up the order so he can interrogate him, ask him on a coffee da—hangout to catch up and fall in lo–reconcile. Maybe he can get invited to the wedding and sneak into the golden bride’s dressing room to fu—help him not get cold feet.

Yeah.

[bloodtwin]

anonymous sent:

FMK --- Ketheric, Auntie Ethel, Rolan

FMK.

this one is very difficult . . . a trap, no doubt. he knows what everyone is thinking already. oh, look, it's puck ！he wants to fuck the hag. in fact, he already has. he LOVES hags ！maybe he'll even MARRY her ！WRONG.

HE IS NOT FUCKING THAT HAG ！！！！

❝ KILL THE HAG ！❞ of course he's killing the hag. obviously.

but he doesn't want to marry or sleep with the other two either. rolan is, ahem, rolan, and ketheric makes him go into a blind rage upon looking at him. not quite sure why. is it not possible to choose kill for all three . . . ？

his eyes squeeze shut as he thinks. ❝ marry . . . rolan, but i have to also marry babette first. she likes him. we could all be in a cute, little throuple where she is always in the middle because we're clawing at each other like feral cats. ❞ he smiles. ❝ hm. how sweet. ❞

❝ then, i'll- um . . . i'll ⸻ ❞ a cough. another cough. it's like he's hacking up a hairball now. ❝ ⸻ i'll fuck ketheric. ❞