#you created a version of yourself that you hoped would be able to move on. and he did

[everythingiisromantic]

what’s crazy is just how much outie mark doesn’t understand his innie’s world. the way he tries to contextualize his commitment to gemma through innie mark’s love for helly: imagine what you and helly have, but times a thousand. imagine a lifetime of joy and arguments and passion. imagine your life as a microcosm of my life — a real life. but he just doesn’t get it!!! imagine you’re born a fully formed human with no memories but the capacity for love and attraction. imagine you know, like, five people total. and then one day you meet someone new, and you’re the first voice she’s ever heard. she has the capacity for love and attraction too. you’ve been alive for two years. the time you spent falling in love with her, really, isn’t so different from the time you spent falling in love with your wife on the outside in terms of the portion of your life you’ve spent alive and in love. imagine joy and arguments and passion on steroids — you’re experiencing it all with no breaks. you don’t sleep, you don’t go on vacation, you don’t spend stretches of time apart. when she’s gone for a day it’s the longest eight hours of your life. and your life is just those eight hours, over and over again. your entire world is like three rooms and a few hallways large. and the only thing you’ve ever done for yourself is fall in love. innie mark deserved to be a lot meaner in those videos actually

[cheapshrimpysheep]

Dating in a Dream - Idia Shroud

SUMMARY: What would his dream be like, exactly the same as in the original story, but with the small detail that he is dreaming that you two are dating?

CHARACTERS: Idia Shroud x Reader 💀🦐

TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader; In a Relationship (kinda)

WARNING: Spoilers from Book 7 and Idia’s dream (Eng Server)

WORD COUNT: 4.930 words

COMMENTS: This was written as a companion piece to the original dream story, so the parts that are the same as the game are just summarized.

I hope you enjoy 💀

Dating in a Dream: (Idia) / Epel / Rook / Vil / Kalim / Jamil / ...

Idia had just finished playing with Muscle Red when the sound of a request from Ortho to make a video call started playing. Even though he finds it strange that he is calling him through Gloomurai's account, he answers anyway. However, he is surprised to see that it is not Royal Sword Academy Ortho, but a humanoid that looks like him.

“Bwha?! *sputter* What's going on, Ortho?! This is the first I've heard from you having an interest in cosplay!”

Ortho wants to try to wake Idia up in a gentle way and to do so he mixes the reality of being a humanoid created by Idia with the act of being any entity or something trying to convince him that he is ‘the chosen one’ to save the world. But Idia keeps finding excuses for it, like it being some kind of prank or something, and he laugh it off. But eventually, continuing with that act, Ortho gets the reaction he predicted from Idia.

“A handsome young humanoid is asking me for help from inside my computer?! I've read literally 500 million light novels with this exact premise! Is it finally time for me to be the chosen one?!”

Ortho almost starts to laugh, but holds himself back.

“That's right, Idia. The time has come. Awaken... from this dream!”

“Dream? ...Hrk?!”

The dream begins to distort and Idia's head starts to hurt. He begins to remember that Ortho didn't grow up and enter Royal Sword Academy, he was a humanoid who attended Night Raven College with him. But it’s at that moment that his phone starts ringing with an incoming call from Ortho.

“Idy! (Nii-chan!) Don't let him fool you! That robo-Ortho is nothing but an impostor!”

“An impostor?” However, Idia continues to have visions of memories of reality. “Gah... What are... all these strange memories?!”

"That impostor's trying to brainwash you!” The dream Ortho insists. “Don't believe him!"

“I should've expected he'd have something in place for this.” The real Ortho says. “So when they're in danger of waking from their dream, the NPCs try to keep them inside. What a sophisticated autonomous spell. Guess Malleus isn't one of the top five mages in the world for nothing!”

“Stay right there.” The fake Ortho says. “I already called for help! But I'm still coming to save you, Idy (Nii-chan)!” And he hangs up.

“Hmm? Called for help?” The real Ortho questions. “Wait! If the darkness uses the people the dreamer likes to trap them here, then does that mean...?”

The door to Idia's room suddenly opens.

“Idia-senpai!” You enter the room, or rather, a version of yourself that Idia's dream created. And you were wearing Ignihyde's uniform. “Ortho called me... AH! What is that? Is this the impostor?”

“(Y-Y/N)!” Ortho stutters your name. “Wait! Why are you wearing Ignihyde's uniform?”

“Because Grim and I transferred here. Duh~”

“Hm?! And when was that?” Now Ortho was more curious to know more about that than to actually wake up his brother.

“When Idia and I started dating.”

“Wehehehe. And it even came with a bonus kitten.” Idia brags about it. “Best deal, ever. The best thing about being a Housewarden is being able to let them move into my dorm without anyone questioning it.”

“So you'd like them to transfer to Ignihyde? Is it so you don't have to go out to visit them?”

“DING DING DING!” Idia smiles enthusiastically talking about you. “Oh, c'mon, who wouldn't abuse their power to bring their little flower closer to them?”

“Little... Flower?” Ortho says almost astonished. He had never heard Idia speak like that about someone... real, at least.

Idia approaches you, or rather, the dream you, with an extremely confident smile and caresses your face. “My little flower~.” He holds your chin to turn your face towards his. “My little bird~.” he affectionately squeezes both of your cheeks with that hand. “My little nutmeg~”

“Cute aggwession.” Your-darknes-self warns between the lips compressed by the cheeks. Which didn't stop Idia from giving them a quick but strongly affectionate kiss.

‘I knew that Idia had a crush on (Y/N), but I wasn't expecting to see him so happy...’ Ortho thinks. ‘But I have to wake him up regardless!’

“Idia, that is not (Y/N). They are in Ramshackle dorm with Grim. And you never confessed your feelings to them. You barely have the courage to talk to them!”

“What? That's not... Okay, fine, but who doesn't get nervous just thinking about the possibility of being caught looking at their crush, let alone talking to them... Especially after practically kidnapping... Grim... URG!” His head starts to hurt again and the world starts to distort.

“He didn't need to confess to me.” Your-darkness-self said. “I confessed my feelings first.” They hold Idia's face to force him to look at them. “Don't listen to him, senpai~” The room gets darker and black goop starts to flood the room. “You don't need to leave your comfort zone to have me. I can do aaall the work for you... I'll jump into a whirlpool of souls if you need me to...”

Another figure forms from the black goop, a grown Ortho wearing the Royal Sword Academy uniform.

“And here I am too, Idy (Nii-chan). It'll all be okay now.”

“(Y/N)...? Ortho...?”

“Wait a second...” Ortho says. “Idia, does that black goop look like Ortho to you? No! Get away from there! Don't let the goop get you!”

“You don't need to think, Idy (Nii-chan). You're just tired from too much gaming. Get a little sleep.”

Idia begins to close his eyes, giving in.

“I don't think he hears me. Idia, no! IDIA (NII-SAN)!”

But Idia ends up being swallowed by the darkness.

When Idia opens his eyes again it was night and he was in the courtyard, dressed in his ceremonial robe. Malleus appears, also wearing his ceremonial robe, and tells Idia that it is almost time for orientation. Idia finds it strange, but he is almost ready to believe it and follow Malleus, until a ball of light appears in the sky and seems to be heading towards them. Idia panics because he thinks it's a meteorite that's going to destroy them, while Malleus simply wonders what that could be.

It was Ortho in his Cerberus Gear. Idia recognizes the Styx emblem and asks if that is a new powered suit his mom built, but Ortho can't explain anything at that moment because Malleus wants to put an end to that inconvenience and send Idia back into a deep sleep.

Malleus, in his Overblot form, and Ortho fight until the dream begins to shatter around them. Malleus withdraws, as his presence in that situation would no longer be necessary to destroy the little Shroud. In his panic, Idia begins to be swallowed by darkness again. Ortho tries to save him, but their mother's voice can be heard through the radio communicator in Ortho's gear, ordering him to get out of there. Realizing that the person in that suit was Ortho makes Idia's head hurt more and the darkness pulls him in harder. Until he is completely swallowed by that black goop.

After his fight in the underworld, and finally realizing that it was all a dream, everything goes dark again.

Lying down with his eyes still closed, he feels a kiss on his forehead. He begins to open his eyes slowly, as if he had just woken up and sees your face.

“Wakey-wakey~” Your-darkness-self says it in the cutest way you could possibly say it. But quickly, that changes. “Ugh, no, too cutsy. Don't make me do that again.”

“Hmm? What are you doing here?” Idia asks.

“Hum?! You make me be transferred to your dorm as soon as we start dating and you still ask what I'm doing here? What a boyfriend.” Your-darkness-self mocks. “Come on, Mister Housewarden, breakfast is ready.”

“Hum?! You make me breakfast?”

“Did you think I would trust you with that role, Chef Instant Noodles? Of course I am the one making you breakfast, for your sake and mine.”

“Aaaah... yeees, a hot significant other taking care of me... Every otako's dream... Heh... Hee hee... Ehehehehehee!”

“Even though I kind of like your psychopathic laugh, it still worries me. What’s the matter?”

“All those rare drops in my MMO...” Idia explains. “Pulling the triple SSR of my fave... Muscle Red never retiring from gaming, me attending orientation in persons... It was all a dream! Everything from start to finish was what I wished for! Classic otaku fantasy!”

“Huh? Wha? What are you...” Your-darkness-self tries to say, but Idia continued, talking over them.

“And In what world would my little brother EVER attend Royal Sword Academy? He wouldn't go to some bright, wholesome school full of guys so extroverted they make my stomach tie in knots.”

Idia's cell phone starts to vibrate.

“Hee hee... looks like someone got their cue to appear in the shot.” he answers the call with a sinister smile. “Ah... what perfect timing. Vil would be proud of you.”

“Hey... Hum? Vil?”

“Yeah, Vil Schoenheit. You know, the super beauty queen in charge of the Film Research Club. The club Ortho goes to.”

“Hm? What are you talking about? I'm not even in Night Raven College to attend that club. I-”

“No, you're right. You don't. I was talking about the humanoid Ortho, enrolled with me in Night Raven College, the school chock-full of SSR Epic Troublemakers. And then there's Phantom Ortho, down in the dark, gloomy Underworld. These are the only two brothers I have! And you are none of them!”

“What?! Wait, Id-”

“Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do something I would normally avoid at all costs.” Idia finally looks directly at your-darkness-self again. “Resolve a matter in person.” And then, furious at his cell phone. “And I'll be submitting some very in-depth feedback to your customer support! GOODBYE, SIR.” he smiles in a frighteningly sinister way at your lookalike. “Now... about you...”

“Me? Idy-senpai, please listen to me.”

“Ah-ah-ah, sorry. I'm not into getting called cutesy pet names by anyone who's not a video game or anime character. With one single and unique exception.”

Your-darkness-self smiles seductively.

“Oh, no, no, no, no. Trust me, you have no reason to smile. Quite the opposite.”

“It's that stupid robotic copy of Ortho that's putting these things in your head, isn't it? Don't listen to-!”

Idia takes out his magic pen and makes ropes of black smoke form around Your-darkness-self to tie and gag them. By also trapping their legs, they lost their balance and fell to the ground with muffled complains.

“Hehe, cool trick huh? I've been practicing. This smoke is very useful for bringing things to me when I don't feel like getting up. Let's see if it can do the same with a person.” He make the black smoke take your look-alike to sit on his bed.

“Now I'm sure you're not the real (Y/N). They would never treat Ortho like that.” His sinister smile turns sweet for a moment. “In fact, I'm p. sure they're nicer to Ortho than to any other student.” The smile becomes disturbing again. “And looking at this face, knowing it's an impostor just irritates me more.”

He places his index finger on the impostor's chin to tilt their face slightly and seductively upward. “Using someone's crush as a puppet to manipulate them and get what you want from them. I'm not gonna lie, it's a really good strategy. And the best way to PISS ME OFF!” He aggressively grabs your look-alike's face by the cheeks while his hair turns red as he says this and his expression shows the deepest anger.

But soon after he becomes calmer again, or at least appears to be so, and lets go of your-darkness-self's face.

“Aaahh~ Yeah... It was really good to have (Y/N) with me... they are a quite cute otako fellow... and hot too when they get serious... But because they are such popular fave they deserve to have high standards. And not settle for a guy who barely has the courage to speak to them. They would never agree to do all this awesome things for me out of the blue and just because.”

He was smiling slightly talking about you, but then he gets annoyed again.

“I don't know what kind of otaku you had me for, but don't insult me by thinking that I'm one of those sick losers who wants a partner desperately in love with them simply because they exist. That's not only lame, but creepy as hell. A person who reduces their entire personality to be your significant other? What a turn off. Do you think I only like (Y/N) because they are pretty? Please, it takes a lot more than appearance to make me even remember a person.”

“I don’t know who's showing me this messed-up dream, if it is illusion magic or some evil syndicate's brainwashing headset. But let me tell you, your whole narrative sucks. If I can't have a happy ending, you just hit reset? ‘Yes, please meddle more!’ said literally no one, ever. Regardless of what the outcome is... Whether it counts as a happy ending is for ME to decide!”

He pauses for a moment to look at the terrified face of your look-alike.

“You know, the fact that this is a dream only makes things worse for you.” He says smiling. “‘Cause, you know, I'm a p. reasonable guy. If you were a real person I'd still try to resolve things more peacefully. But since I know you're not...” He violently grabs the thick smoke as if grabbing them by the collar and says with red flame hair “I CAN BURN YOU TO A CRISP! But not with that face...”

He grabs your-darkness-self’s face in a way that covers it with just one hand and starts burning it between muffled screams of pain that began to distort as the figure turned into black goop as well. When that was no longer your face, Idia squeezed it in anger and increased the flames until the figure melted into goop and disappeared into the ground.

Idia takes a moment to take a deep breath.

“You're there right, Ortho?”

“Welcome back, Idia.” Ortho reappears on Idia’s screen.

Idia apologizes for the hurtful things he said to Ortho and talks about how incredible he was in his mission. After a heartwarmingly little chat between brothers, Idia asks what in the world was actually going on?

“I understand everything now.” Idia says after Ortho's explanation. “Or at least, I wish I did. But learning Mom's seen everything on my PC was too of a shock to my system. All I've managed to process other than that is Malleus is some kind of ginormous cheater...?”

“Look, um, it was an emergency. Don't let it get to you, okay?”

“Easy for you to say! She's totally seen THAT now. And THAT... She's seen it all... *shock* She... SHE SAW (Y/N)'S FOLDER! SHE KNOWS ABOUT MY CRUSH!”

While Idia was lamenting about that, Ortho remembered that during one of the conversations with their mother...

“Hmm... Orthy... I really don't want to intrude on Idy's privacy, but... Hmm... does he have any friend at school that he or you never told me about?”

“A friend? I try to help him make friends, but I don't think he's ever considered any Night Raven College student as one. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, I just... that... that student without magic, (Y/N), I have almost no information about them, but... what do you think of them?”

“(Y/N)? I consider them a good person, especially compared to most Night Raven College students. They are also quite diligence and can be very caring. But why do you... ... Idia has a folder on them, doesn't he?”

“So, you know about Idy's crush?”

“Well, he never admitted it, but... I can read his vital signs when he talks about or is around (Y/N). I also know that he has already made some drawings and sketches of them.”

“Oh, I saw! They are so beaut- Huh, I mean...”

“I like (Y/N).” Ortho said smiling. “Idia once went to play some video-games in their dormitory lounge with some other students. And I can see that he feels very comfortable around them. (Y/N) respects Idia's space and time, but also likes to help me try to get him out of the room. They are very fun and attentive.”

Ortho didn't need to see his mother's face to know she had a huge smile behind her helmet.

“So why must I have my PC's contents laid bare for my mother to see?! It makes no sense...” Idia kept lamenting. “I just took 50 billion points of psychic damage, at least...” He loses strength in his legs and falls to the ground.

“It really was just an unfortunate accident. One nobody could have predicted...” Ortho says. “Don't worry though, Idia. Mom didn't make any comments about anything there...” Just that one small exception that Idia didn't need to know about.

“GAAAH!” he gets up. “Not low-key discretion! That's the LAST thing a young guy wants! If I didn't naturally incinerate blot, I'd absolutely be overblotting right about now!”

Blaming Malleus for this, Idia vowed to take revenge on him.

You, Grim, Silver and Sebek had just arrived at Ignihyde, or rather, Idia's dream, after Ortho had guided you there after leaving Lilia's dream.

Idia appeared and tried to explain a little of what was going on, until he remembered that he had not yet introduced himself to those two students from Diasomnia with whom he barely interacted with.

“I'm Idia Shroud, housewarden of Ignihyde.”

“Oh, of course! No wonder you looked familiar.” Sebek says. “You had a more... tabular form at orientation. This might be the first time I've had a proper look at you in person.”

“Oh, uh... Yeah. In the real world I attended remotely it seems...”

“I am Sebek Zigvolt of Diasomnia Dorm － freshman, class D, seat 33!” He said quite loudly. “And this is Silver. Same dorm, sophomore year! He always has that blank look on his face.”

“Eep! Talk about loud... Thought my eardrums were gonna rupture there. How do Malleus and his dormmates endure this decibel level at close range every day without ear damage...?” Idia says a little lower, while also thinking: ‘I hope (Y/N) didn't go deaf after spending so much time with him.’

“Sorry, Idia.” Silver apologizes. “I'll tell him to be more careful about that. Though I doubt you'd have to worry about ruptured eardrums in reality, considering we're in a dream － ah! Everyone, stay vigilant!” he suddenly shouts. “Idia, Grim, (Y/N)! Get behind me and Sebek!”

When he suddenly pulls you behind him, you lose your balance and end up bumping your back into Idia’s chest. As soon as this happens, the tips of his hair turned slightly pink. But even if he wanted to move away he wouldn't be able to because Sebek quickly joined Silver to cover you all and ended up making you crumpled against each other. Which made Idia get even more flustered.

“Mrah? What's the matter, Silver?” Grim asks trapped between you and him.

“If Idia's woken up from his dream, we should expect darkness to attack and try to pull him into an event deeper sleep.”

As Silver, Grimm, and Sebek talk about the possibility of Malleus appearing there at any moment, the physical pressure between you and Idia begins to increase and making it harder to breathe.

“Hrrrk... Pressure's... too much... can't breathe...!” Idia still tries to use his strength to create more space between you so that you can breathe too. The pink in his hair ends up disappearing as he is suffocating.

“Not to rain on your parade, but...” A familiar voice said. “We won't actually have to worry about Malleus Draconia or that black goop for a while.”

Ortho reveals himself and explains how they are safe in that dream. He also explains that he disappeared after guiding you there because he cannot appear in his normal form in Idia's dream because it triggers a critical error.

“So, I'll be sticking to a monitor display. Also... Idia's turning pale from oxygen deprivation. Could you please give him some room to breathe?”

Silver and Sebek walked away apologizing and Idia took a deep breath as if he had finally emerged from underwater.

“Whew, I almost set out on a journey to the Underworld... Thanks for the save, Ortho...”

Finally, it was time for Ortho to explain everything that had happened up until that moment. He and Idia tell you about his dream, but obviously hiding the part about your look-alike.

“So, uh... While you guys were chatting it up in Lilia's dream...” Idia says after Ortho said that they would need your help. “I was doing some brainstorming of my own. I've come up with a plan to escape this dream world － or rather, to do something about Malleus.”

“Operation Make Malleus Ugly Cry and Beg for Forgiveness?” You ask.

“Y-yeah, there you go.. Hee. Heehee.”

It may be a small detail that those who don't know Idia might not notice, but being able to understand him and his humor is a huge green flag. And Ortho knows this.

“Anyway, I threw together a video to go over the plan. Would you mind watching it?”

After they showed you the video and explained the plan, Sebek was ready to move on to the next dream. Until Idia warned that it would be a good idea for you to change your clothes so that when you enter your next dreams, the shock of wearing unfamiliar clothes would not be so great for the dreamer as to activate the defenses of Malleus’s spell. But since none of you can do it by yourselves, he installs an outfit-changing spell in your magestones.

“Here, lemme see your magical pens. Oh wait, you don't have one, do you, (Y/N)? Okay, I'll insert a chip with a technomantic program in your phone...”

While he was installing the ship he accidentally pressed one of the side buttons and your locked screen image appeared. It was the exact same image that Idia had on his tablet.

“HUH?! W-why do you have my voice call image as your background?!” Idia asks, surprised.

“Oh! Did I never tell you?” Ortho says. “Give me a second.” A sort of scanning sound is heard, as if he was looking for something in his memory files. “One result found.” he said in his robotic voice before speaking normally again. “The first time I was going to tell you, you were busy playing, so I ended up not doing it. I was talking to (Y/N) once and they said they thought your tablet’s image was cool. I asked them if they wanted a copy of the image for their phone and they said yes. That was a long time ago, though. It's good to know you still have it, (Y/N).”

“Y-you think it is cool?... I-In that case, I can customize an image for you.” Idia started talking excitedly. “I can make a version with a different color, it can even be pink if you want.” The more excited he got about it, the more confident he became and the faster he spoke. “And I can change the eyes too, I can turn them around and make them look like they’re smiling, or I can just rotate them a little bit like they're half-closed, like in an cool annoyed way.”

“Focus on the task!” Grim complained. “Don't you want us to change our clothes?”

“Uh-uh... Y-yeah... S-sorry, I’m on it.” He gets a little shy again.

If you tell him that you accept the offer and that you can talk about it later when that whole dream thing is sorted out, he'll give you that sweet little smile of his.

“There, installation complete.”

“Here you go, everyone!” Ortho says. “You can have your magical pens and smartphone back.”

“Hm? You said you installed something in my magical pen, but it seems no different to me.” Sebek comments.

“Each of you, face your implement of choice...” Idia explains. “And say: 'DREAMY MAGICAL MAKEOVER!'”

“WHAT?! What is this bizarre spell?!”

“You gotta say a cool catchphrase when you change outfits.” Idia smiles amusedly. “That's a staple of transformation scenes in children's anime. That was a joke, for the record. Or at least, half a joke... Thing is, spells should ideally specific phrases to avoid setting them off by accident. And I did make this for the benefit of a bunch of sprouts who can't even do basic outfit changes on their own. I'm busy enough with dev work as it is. So get on with it!”

Regardless of how you say it, Idia will secretly find it very cute, but if you say it shyly he will find it even cuter.

“You want me to save the video of this to share with you later, don't you?” Ortho discreetly asks his brother who confirms.

A screen appears in front of each of you with clothing options: School Uniform, PE Uniform, Labwear, Ceremonial Robes and Dorm Uniform. Ortho tells you to try tapping the outfit you'd like to wear.

You start by trying on the ceremonial robes or the labwear, but you wonder what would happen if you tapped the Dorm Uniform option, because Ramshackle doesn't have a Dorm Uniform.

“Maybe it was a default error.” Idia assumes. “Either nothing happens or there might be some weird glitch... or...”

“AAAH! WAIT!” Ortho and Idia say worriedly in unison after thinking of another possible outcome.

But it was too late and you had already pressed the button to find out. The clothes you had on... transform into the Pomefiore dorm uniform.

“It's random...” The brothers sighed in relief.

“What's wrong?” Silver asks. “Could something dangerous have happened?”

“N-no, just... d-don't worry about it... p-programming stuff.” Idia responds, trying to hide the embarrassment with a smile.

You tap it again and the uniform changes to the Heartslabyul one. Meanwhile, the others also tried their own menus to change clothes and Grim insisted that he also wanted to do that.

“Not like you really need it, Grim...” Idia says. “But I guess I could set it up for you as well.”

“Really?! Gimme, gimme!”

If you thank Idia for doing that for Grim, he will say it's no big deal with a mix of smugness and flusteredness.

While Grim is also having fun changing clothes, you tap the Dorm Uniform option once again and your Heartslabyul’s Dorm Uniform changes to... Ignihyde's. This surprises Idia who immediately sets his sights on you.

“(Y/N). look! All I gotta do is push a button, and I can change into all sortsa outfits!” Grim was changing outfits too quickly.

“Don't forget, Grim, these tools are strictly to assist the user.” Ortho warns him. “The magic for those outfit changes is still drawn from the one casting the spell. And (Y/N), you probably shouldn't go overboard with the smartphone tool either. But before you change your outfit again, can I ask you for something?”

You nod.

“Will you let me take a picture of you with Idia in your Ignihyde uniforms?” He asks in the most cutely convincing way.

Idia even takes a little jump in place, surpriced by that request as well. And he only gets even more flustered when you accept. He would be against that if it weren't for you.

“You two can be such normie sometimes.” Idia says with a shy smile.

You get closer to him and the tips of his hair turn a little pink again. And as soon as Ortho said he was going to take the picture, Grim says he wants to be in it too and jumps into your arms.

“It's funny.” You point. “Grim matches the uniforms.” You lift him up a little. “And your hair.”

Ortho laughs with you and Idia smiles amusedly too, while looking at you foundly.

“Aw, you should be in the picture too, Ortho.” You say.

“Don't worry, I can put myself in the picture through editing.”

“In that case, let's pose as if you were here too. This will make it look more natural when editing.”

Ortho is very happy with your idea and tells you that he will stand on the other side of his brother. He takes a picture of you next to Idia and holding Grim between the two of you.

“If at any point (Y/N) presses the button again and Diasomnia's uniform appears I can take another picture of (Y/N) with you two, Silver and Sebek Zigvolt, if you want.” Ortho suggests, to divert any suspicion from him and Idia.

“I think Lilia and Malleus would also like to see that too.” Silver says in a chuckle,and smiled slightly.

“I recommend setting your default to the Night Raven College uniform.” Idia returns to the main topic. “That one can cover most situations you'll be in.”

You all change into that uniform and were ready to move on to the next dream. After you leave with Ortho, part of his consciousness returns to Idia’s side to ask him something.

“If (Y/N) asks me for a copy of the photo... do you want me to edit your hair to remove the pink ends? Heh heh heh.”

If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

[harmoonix]

MOONLESS

astrology observations

Lilith (h12) aspecting the Sun or Moon both can represent issues with their relatives/family members, can be a generational trauma involving the family life as well

Aries Venus/Mars is very true that natives with these placements tend to be loyal to their partners/family/friends and can risk everything for them

Venus in the 1st house can be critical about their beauty, Venus in the 1st house is a good house but not the best for Venus to feel like home, you should always appreciate yourself

Pluto - Moon aspects in a chart can make the person to seem "emotionless" and cold even invisible to others, yet they feel the most and are not able to tell anyone about it

Lilith - Pluto aspects can indicate being abused for power/being seen as a threat. Natives with these aspects can be manipulated by others but aslo to manipulate at their own

Neptune in the 4th house can feel so confused when it comes to their desires about family, they may not be as interested about creating their own

Mercury in the 10th house can use communication a lot at their jobs/these can also be used to talking more than 1 language and can have jobs which can require that

Mercury at 6,18 or in virgo can be so critical if they are not developed, talking bad about other people, judging, etc. They are good at expressing themselves tho

Saturn at 4,16,28 degrees can often lack that "comfort" feeling, can also lack the feeling of love, compassion, not because they want to but mostly happens because of their family

Jupiter in the 2nd or 8th house natives know how to make money fast, they can also manifest money if they truly want that, but they are also good at spending them

Leo Moons would be good to play in any emotional - drama show tbh, they have that dramatic energy we all need, plus they also like to make dramatic stories

Pluto or Lilith in the 5th house (Mars too) can show bad experiences in childhood, bullying, agression, fights/arguments, is a placement that has a lot of power and also a lot of damage

Aquarius Uranus generstion can be more on the humanitarian side of the society while Pisces Uranus on the emotional state of the society

Scorpio Saturn is indeed a heavy place for Saturn just like the 8th house because it indicates lots of challenges and rebirths in the natives life. Also points out that the native evolves overtime ending in their best version of themselves

Capricorn/Saturn in the 12th house, deep asf placement because they put pressure on the subconscious, can be more pessimistic and feels drained by others

Mars aspecting Saturn can show anger issues in a person's chart. The native eventually grew up with parents or family with the same issues

Saturn aspecting the North Node is so heavy. Makes you so confused on which path life to go, getting a karmic life influenced by the environment/the place they grew up

Pisces North Node has the life lesson to embrace their spirtual side, can be used as a form of healing as well. Keep your intuition high

Chiron aspecting the NN (north node) can indicate you need a balance in life. Because there can be something in your life that you are aware of yet you choose to ignore it.

Venus in Libra or at 7° 19° degrees shows that you need to be inspired in life in order to create something, can be based on anything

Idk if you guys observed this but natives with Sag Placements always set up hopes for something. They will hope for a thing until it happens

Reminder for Moon - Venus aspects to not fall for every nice person they see because not all people have good intentions

If you have Lilith in Gemini or 3rd house you can often experience ppl talking about you,in good or bad ways but it will still happen. We cannot shut the world's mouth

Sagittarius Mars cannot stay in one place. They need either to move or travel because otherwise their inner core feels overwhelmed (also Mars in the 9th house or at 9° 21° too)

Something funny about Libra or Capricorn Mercuries is that they will always bring some logical subject even in the most weirdest conversations and expecting you to know about it

Having Pluto or Neptune in the 12th house can make you tired about life ( in all topics or general). Can happen to most of us. World is a draining place

Always check your TRANSITS!! If you have a bad day, check them and see how it will manifest! Because they are tied together with us

🖤 Hope you all have a good monday!!

🖤Harmoonix🖤

[agneslovestheinternet-blog]

FUCK YOU, don't leave me

Part Four: Better Terms (Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Five)

Special Thanks to @gallyismylittlesilly for reminding me to keep writing this lol :)

Gally x Fem!Reader NSFW

Your purely-sexual relationship with Gally is threatening to blossom into something all-too-terrifyingly real. Your unsaid feelings for each other create an awkward tension that breaks abruptly one night in a very unexpected way. Is this the end of your relationship with Gally? Or just the beginning?

Genre: enemies to lovers, lowkey angst at the end, smut scenes sprinkled throughout

Word Count: 4.4K Read Time: 14 Mins

Warnings & Info: protected p in v sex, blowjob, Gally praise kink???kinda???, nonessential OC’s, movie versions, takes place in TMR with thomas but kind of in a vacuum the plot doesn’t move forward Gally's thoughts in green, Y/N's thoughts in blue

Authors Note: I KNOW I SAID THIS WAS GONNA BE THE LAST PART BUT IT’S ACTUALLY NOT THERE’S GONNA BE ONE MORE LOL. I picked a different format for these last two parts and I hope you like it. I cannot believe the amount of support I’ve gotten on this, I truly appreciate all of you so much. Thanks for waiting so patiently as I abandoned and then re-found this fic:)

–Prologue–

The time has come. That dreaded moment nobody who drank too much last night wants to reach. But it’s here:

The morning after. 

The time when the sun seems too bright, the world seems too loud and everything is moving too fast for you to collect the disjointed memories of the events that led you to the state you’re in now. You’re sweaty, shaky, have a pounding headache and a very weak stomach that is violently threatening to empty its contents, if it hasn’t already. 

This is usually around the time that you start swearing to yourself, your friends, and anyone that will listen that you’re “never drinking again”. This is almost always a lie. 

The version of you that downs shots like they’re water has never met the version of you that is bent over a toilet, feeling those shots come back up, burning your throat just as much the second time as they did the first. The drunk version of you thinks the hungover version of you is a buzzkill and the hungover version of you thinks the drunk version of you is a maniac. But they’ll never meet, so they’ll never reconcile their differences, and you’ll cycle between them continuously until you get older or more boring or die.

The hungover version of you and Gally are doing about as well as you’d expect them too. The former is currently ducking her head behind a bush next to the Med-hut to vomit up bile for the third time this morning and the latter is swaying unpleasantly on the construction site of a new hut that’s going up, silently willing the sun to stop beating down and the volume of his crew’s voices to silence. It is the opposite versions of these two people that have set into motion a chain of events that will lead to a conclusion neither of them would be able to fathom at this moment. 

In exactly 49 days starting from today, Gally will confess his feelings to you. And in exactly 49 days and several minutes starting from today, you will confess yours back.

How exactly does this happen? The versions of you and Gally that exist today still despise each other. 50 days hardly seems like an appropriate turnaround time to go from hatred to fondness. In fact when you look back on the events of this story, the timeline befuddles you as much as it would anybody else. It’s hard to look at the big picture and see the slow change from you two being The Glade’s biggest rivals to then becoming a steamy secret hookup, then a very strange situationship, and then finally two parts of a genuine, real connection. But when you zoom in on all the small moments, (ones that seemed insignificant at the time), it becomes clear as day.

{<--------->}

Day 1

“You came back late last night,” Gia poses suggestively while straightening out the covers on her bed.

“We thought you died,” Ariana continues with mock concern, braiding her hair while sitting on the hut floor.

“Or fell in the pond,” Lireale counters earnestly, setting a stack of her newly folded clothes into her trunk.

“So which one was it?” Elsie takes the direct approach while sitting on the edge of her bed, removing her socks.

“Neither; I just got lost for a bit. Drunk Y/N has a terrible sense of direction,” 

Your lie comes easily and your friends roll their eyes at your poor decision. You usually loved these nighttime debriefings but this one was starting to feel like a minefield.

“I thought you might’ve snuck off with a boy,” the newest Greenie pipes up quietly from atop her new bed in the corner, a smile tugging at her lips. The group breaks into barking laughter that’s just distracting enough to keep anyone from noticing the heat prickling under your eye sockets.

“Y/N isn’t exactly into boys,” Ariana pipes up with a knowing look at you as soon as the laughter dies down.

“I would be if we lived somewhere normal. But we don’t. Trust me, greenie, none of these shanks here are worth any of our time,” Your friends give a rousing cheer and the conversation pivots naturally to the new greenie and how she’s liking The Glade so far. You’re grateful their eyes have left your face, allowing your blush to dissipate gradually and your mind to stop replaying flashbacks of the night before.

Day 2

“Jesus, Newt, I don’t know! I was drunk, I don’t even remember going into the woods the other night. All I know is that I somehow made it back to my hut before morning” Gally snaps, trying to stop the barrage of questions tumbling from his friend's mouth.

“Well, drunk you seemed to be on quite a mission,” Newt counters with a grin, not at all phased by the Builder’s trademark aggression. Newt has a creeping feeling that Gally is full of shit and knows exactly why he entered the woods the other night, but he knows better than to press him. It’s rarely worth it to pick a fight with him.

“I’m sure he was. Next time I’m hammered, I’ll let you know what that mission was,” Gally grumbles, trying his best to put on a sarcastic tone. If he ever did get drunk enough to confess the mission he had been on the other night, he’d throw himself to the Grievers.

Day 5

It hadn’t taken much, really. Some lingering glances, a head jerk in his hut’s direction from Gally, an acknowledging nod from you, a hand signal from him; closed fist to open palm twice in rapid succession (flashing five fingers twice = meet at ten). You’d both been a lot more apprehensive losing your clothing sober, but you’d quickly picked up the passion that had burned the other night once more.

You’re on all fours with your back arched on Gally’s bed and he’s standing behind you, thrusting his hard cock into your quivering pussy as he grabs your waist tightly.

“Are you close?” the Builder huffs out in a low tone.

“Yeah…” He is determined to not leave you without a climax this time and reaches a hand around to your front, fumbling blindly until he locates the bundle of nerves hidden between your folds. When his rough fingers begin to fondle it, you feel a jolt of pleasure zap your body that causes your arms to buckle beneath you.

“Keep…doing that….and…slower….pleeease”. The whine on that last word makes Gally’s cock ache for release but he focuses on delivering you slow thrusts as he swipes at your clit. You feel the warmth building in your core as each stroke pushes you further to the edge until you’re gripping the sheets beside your head and pushing your thighs together, riding your climax to its satisfying finish.

“Did you..?” // “.....duh,” // “Can I-” // “Yeah go ahead,”

With your permission given, Gally quickens his thrusts for a few seconds, his own familiar wave of pleasure washing over him as his cum spurts into the condom buried deep inside of you.

Neither of you says a word while cleaning up and redressing, too high off the post-orgasm endorphins to trust your mouths not to say anything stupid.

“You fuck better when you’re sober,” you finally state with an air of constructed indifference.

“Really?” Gally raises a well-defined eyebrow at you, his blue eyes wide.

“You’re less sloppy. More…” // “...Focused?” // “...Intentional.”

Gally’s heart is pounding in his ears. Your praise of his sexual prowess seems to affect him more each time you express it.

“Thanks. You’re more…responsive, when you’re sober,” It was your turn to become skittish at his soft-spoken, rather clumsy compliment. 

This conversation has been backed into an awkward corner. You cross the room to his door, avoiding his eye contact in the process, ready to make a quick escape.

“‘Night” // “Yeah see you, um, later I guess” // “Yeah,”

The door closes quickly behind you, leaving Gally to curse his lack of verbal smoothness in his now starkly empty hut.

Day 7

You’re wrapping a thick gauze bandage around Chuck’s left ankle, which he rolled while trying to catch up with Minho earlier today. Why Chuck would ever believe he would be able to catch up to a guy whose only job is to run, is beyond you. The youngest Glader always seems to be tripping over his own feet, so this incident is nothing new. As he chatters idly, Jeff pokes his head around the med-hut’s dividing wall.

“Are you close?” he asks simply, entirely unaware of the context in which you last heard that phrase.

“What?!” you snap, your head swiveling so fast to meet his eye line that your hair slaps you in the face.

“Are you close to being done with Chuck?” he repeats, his forehead creasing in bewilderment at your reaction. “Fry burned his hand, we need the exam table,”

“Oh, yeah, give me two minutes,” you reply, relief coloring your voice now.

Day 11

Alby had sent one of his orderlies to fetch Gally “to talk”. The entire walk over, the Builder’s stomach had been doing somersaults. Had Alby somehow seen? Did someone else, and had they told? Did you tell him? His panic was for nothing, as it turned out the resounding answer to all of them was “no”.

All Alby had wanted to say to him was a generic message of praise. He gave sincere thanks for the incident-free bonfire night and encouraged him to keep up his civil behavior. He told Gally that he appreciated that he could be the bigger person.

The Builder had tried to conceal a chuckle at his leader’s choice of words as he exited the meeting room. He knew he shouldn’t be reminiscing about the walls of your pussy taking his cock as deep as he could bury it while getting genuine compliments from an authority figure, but the memories were too intoxicating to stop.

They had him riding a high of lustful endorphins for the rest of the day that confused his crew as they whispered theories to each other about what the hell was making their otherwise surly leader so easy-going today.

Day 14

“Dinner in the Med-hut tonight?” Minho asks comfortably, taking a spot behind you in line in the dining hall.

“Yeah, I’ve gotta restock supplies. Tomorrow Alby’s doing an inspection and the place is a goddamn disaster,” you sigh, not looking forward to your task but feeling it might be better with Minho to keep you company. The Runner was notoriously easy company to keep.

“Cool, I’ll give you a hand,” he states.

“No you don’t have to, you can just sit and talk to me while I-”

“I want to help,” Minho cuts you off, surprising himself with his boldness. Too forward, Minho, way too forward.

“Ok then. I’d appreciate your help,” you smile back, pleasantly surprised by his kindness.

Maybe not too forward?

Day 17

“...and thanks to Gally and his Builders for the new hut by the Map Room. I’m sure everybody who no longer has to sleep in a bloody hammock is grateful,” Newt reads from a clipboard of meeting notes, pride coloring his tone. A small smattering of applause ripples through the meeting room, with the inhabitants of this new hut clapping louder than all others. 

Gally gives an uncharacteristic smile that warms his usually stony face. You lock eye contact with him from across the room. Your gesture is small, (an almost-imperceivable nod and one singular clap of your hands), but he finds himself exceptionally appreciative nonetheless.

Day 19

You’re on your knees in the deadheads with the full length of Gally’s erect cock sheathed in your willing throat. He’s standing against a tree with shaking knees, his large fingers threaded through your soft hair, scattered moans and guttural whimpers falling from his lips.

“Fuck, ‘mclose…” he manages to breathe out, his grip on your hair tightening. 

Your heart flutters at this comment and you alternate between taking his entire length to the back of your throat in short, coarse jabs and swirling your tongue around his tip. The fluctuation is overstimulating for Gally, who still can’t believe you agreed to do this to him, in the middle of the work day. Maybe it’s this sudden surge of gratitude that brings a certain nickname to his mind.

“Thank you…princess…” he moans out, cringing slightly at his own comment at first but quickly losing himself in the pleasure once more. You run your tongue back and forth over the sensitive area just underneath his tip and stroke the rest of his shaft with your right hand.

“Princess…’m gonna…cum-” he chokes out, which serves as your cue to take his entire length deep in your throat and swallow every spurt of bitter liquid that ejaculates from his swollen tip. Gally releases his death grip on your hair and smooths it out softly, breathing heavily and trying to get his vision to quit spinning.

He looks down at you, as you release your mouth from around his cock and plant small kisses up and down his shaft that send shivers through his already-sensitive body.

“Sorry,” he mumbles through a blush, his rough hands traveling from your hair to your cheeks, where he cups them gently. The gesture is affectionate, which means it’s very out of character for Gally. So is apologizing, actually.

“Sorry for what?” you inquire, making eye contact with him through heavily lidded eyes.

“The nickname. I know it was dumb, I don’t know why I thought-”

“I liked it, actually,” you confess, standing and brushing away the dirt that sticks to your knees.

Gally pulls up his pants and boxers that had been pooling around his ankles and breaks out into a proud grin. He stretches himself to his full height and leans in to whisper in your ear.

“Well then; have a good day princess,” he coos, letting the lust color his voice as he slinks away before you can respond.

Day 21

The air in between you and your Runner companion is unseasonably chilly but calm. Birds chirping loudly in the trees, leaves rustling in the trees and two pairs of boots squelching on the wet ground creates the sonic palette beneath your easy conversation. You gather white-headed mushrooms littering the forest floor to make a pain-relieving salve and deposit them in the wicker basket Minho insists on holding for you. 

“No offense to those guys obviously,” you start, depositing a handful of mushrooms into the basket with a soft thud, “it’s just that I wish we could have, like, real clothes,”

“Ones that aren’t sewed by teenagers using whatever materials they can find?” Minho asks with a smile.

“Yes. Ones that might be a tad more flattering to my figure,” you chuckle, straightening up from your leaning stance to stretch the loose fabric of your tunic to its full size with your hands. Minho seems to ponder this comment for a moment.

“I don’t know…” he mumbles, “I don’t think your figure needs much flattering,”

The statement hangs in the air for a moment, almost creating a tense cloud that you quickly dissipate with a well-placed snide comment.

“Yeah right,” you snort, forcing down the smile that threatens to envelop your face.

Day 24

“Y/N, can you toss me that rope?”

Gally realizes his faux pas as soon as the question leaves his lips. Everyone in his immediate vicinity snaps their heads up to look at him, having never heard him say your name for any other purpose than to start a fight. He tries to keep his expression neutral, though internally he’s panicking. There’s no way his fellow Gladers could work out that you two were having sex based on him asking you to hand him a piece of equipment…. but could they? 

“Sure, here,” you respond evenly, tossing the rope that was sitting in the grass next to you towards the Builder. You try to ignore the stares and hope the heat in your cheeks can be easily excused by the midday sun.

“Thanks,” he mutters, and all but leaves a cartoonish puff of smoke behind him, as he turns on his heel and returns to the task he needed the rope for.

That was bold, you think to yourself, watching the Glade’s inhabitants dart their eyes between you and him in bewilderment. You fix your face into a neutral expression, and silently plot to slug Gally in the arm for being so obvious when you see him in his hut later tonight.

Day 27

As it turns out, Gally asking you to hand him a rope is indeed enough to stoke rumors in The Glade that have been steadily growing for several days now.

“It was so weird,” Gladers would whisper to their friends who didn’t witness the minor incident, that has now been retold so many times it’s akin to legend.

“I thought they hated each other?” another would ask.

“I guess they made up,” others would chime in reluctantly.

You and Gally’s outright display of civility seemed to have marked a distinct end to an era for the most prolific gossipers among The Glade’s midst. For months upon months, they could rely on your feud with him to create consistent, free entertainment that provided a welcome respite from the horrors of everyday life. But now the fireworks seem to be over and the only question on everyone’s mind is; why?

Day 29

Gally stands in front of the closed door and allows his eyes to linger on you longer than he normally does. It’s bonfire night once again, and the both of you got stumbling drunk and ended up back here, repeating the steps of last month’s escapade like a well-rehearsed dance. He watches your figure, clothed in just your linen bra and underwear, sway to a beat no one but you can hear. 

Gally can’t explain why, but he’s beginning to like this arrangement for more than just sexual gratification. After the stress of each day beats him down, he can look forward to moments like this. Watching you dance to an imaginary audience, concealed in his hut, away from prying eyes and Grievers and mazes and chores. Just you and him, in your own little world. 

Day 32

“You know, I don’t think you’ve ever actually told me what you’re into. Like, in words,” you say, pulling away from kissing Gally and continuing the conversation you’d been having a few minutes ago about your preferences in bed.

“Oh, uh, fuck. I guess…ok, don’t laugh at me,” he shoots you an acidic glare. “But I guess I like when you…compliment me? Like when you tell me I’m doing good or I feel good or whatever. It’s uh…it motivates me, I guess,” His face is bright red and his stomach is doing flips; he’s never been this honest and it’s making him feel uncomfortably exposed.

“I probably would have guessed that,” you chuckle, diffusing the tension, “Noted,”

You file this information in the back of your mind and pull him back into you.

Day 34

“So you and Y/N are on better terms then?” Minho asks tentatively over dinner.

“Uh…” Gally pauses. To an untrained eye it might seem like he’s embarrassed, but he’s actually searching his mind for an appropriate half-truth. He is an impressively bad liar and might not be able to contain just how much better the terms he’s on with you are when asked about them directly.

“Yeah kinda. We uh…talked and kinda realized the whole feud thing is dumb. It’s childish,” Gally dismisses, clipping his voice with frequent pauses to keep his tone steady.

“Oh, that’s…that’s great dude!” Minho exhales, trying to keep the swell of excitement from bursting through his chest. If Gally doesn’t want to kill you anymore, then there aren’t many other obstacles keeping him from pursuing you.

Minho steers the conversation away from his question easily, starting in on the newest Greenie and how he nearly took Newt’s head off with a backhoe earlier today. 

Both the Runner and the Builder are blissfully unaware that the slight blush in both of their cheeks have the same source.

Day 35

“You’re so big, Gally,” you moan out, feeling every inch of him stretch your walls deliciously.

“You fill me up so well…” he leans down to kiss your neck, “...no one else could make me feel like this…” his thrusts quickens as desperation for you sets in, “...you’re so hot…” he whimpers in your ear, feeling his climax looming, “...and strong,”

Your addled mind, too preoccupied with the feeling of Gally’s cock sliding in and out of you, starts babbling compliments that are a lot less sexual in tone. 

“You’re so pretty…and smart…you can do…fucking anything. I’m happy I can…do this…for you. You deserve…a fucking….break. You’re so strong…and good. Gally; you’re so good….you’re good…you’re so good…soooo good…Gally…”

It’s this phrase that causes the Builder’s heart to race like never before. You’re so good. Not good at fucking you, not good in bed, just good. Inherently worthy. 

He’s never had anyone tell him he’s good, full stop. He thrusts harder and sloppier, trying to repay you for the praise. When his orgasm does come, it’s better than all of the other times combined.

He leans down to kiss your collarbone. It’s gentle and needy, not frenzied like before. You feel a drop of liquid on your bare skin, then a few more, then a stifled whimper. 

Gally’s crying. 

His face is hot and he can barely process the feeling of finishing inside you over the shame that’s now washing over him. He kisses your skin, trying to cut off his sobs with the pressure of his lips.

You instinctively run your warm hands up and down Gally’s arms, which simultaneously soothes him and furthers his embarrassment. He sighs and slowly lowers his torso on top of you, nestling his head in the crook of your neck. His heavier body causes unpleasant pressure on your chest but something tells you that moving will spook him. So you don’t. 

Until he pushes himself off of you jarringly, wiping his face and beginning to dress under the oppressive silence that’s now fallen between you two. You do the same, trying to keep your eyes off of him. You debate whether you should just leave his hut without saying a word, until you turn to face him. 

He’s sitting on the edge of his bed, bouncing his left knee nervously, his hands clasped in a tight fist in front of his mouth, his eyes staring straight ahead. You sit down next to him and place a timid hand on his arm, which he immediately flinches away from.

“Jesus, dude, I can’t touch you now?” you hiss in a biting tone. You know that Gally deals with outright aggression a lot better than shows of vulnerability.

“I just didn’t know what you were doing, damn,” he responds in an equally huffy tone, though his body language doesn’t match. He lets one of his arms fall from his face and you both intertwine your fingers. Another moment of silence passes, and he finally speaks.

“I don’t-I don’t know what that was. I’m sorry. I just-I didn’t expect-I didn’t think that’s what you were gonna say and I-”

“It’s fine. I didn’t know I was gonna say all that stuff either. It just kinda…came out,”

“Yeah…yeah I get it,” 

Another agonizing stretch of silence fills the room.

“Did you, uh…did you mean it?” he winces as his mouth forms the words, as if anticipating a gut-punch.

“Mean what?” Playing dumb won’t stop this display of feelings but it’s your only defense. Gally doesn’t realize that vulnerability terrifies you just as much as it does him.

“What you said. That I’m…” his voice falters. 

He knows he’s about to puncture the nonchalance of your dynamic like a pin through a balloon. But he can’t stop himself. He thinks about the way your praise made his heart race and the rush of affection towards you he’s feeling right now as your hand is wrapped in his and out comes the word vomit, stinging his throat almost as much as the real thing.

“…pretty and uh, smart and that you like doing this for me…” he’s nervously scanning your face for a reaction but it’s your turn to look straight ahead now, becoming frozen with panic. “...and that I’m-I’m good. Do you…really think I’m good, Y/N?”

Yes, you want to scream, yes of course I meant it. All of it. Yes Gally; I think you’re-I mean, yes; you’re good. 

But you don’t say that. You can’t bring yourself to. This is all starting to feel very real and very far from the no-strings-attached sex you signed up for. You’re not ready to admit that this might be something more. So what you actually say is,

“I don’t know. It was just bedroom talk, Gally. I-I just got carried away. I’m sorry if I gave the impression that any of that meant-”

“Right, yeah, ok,” Gally cuts you off quickly, feeling a terrible ache rumble his chest, like a wall’s been dropped on top of him. He feels the hot sting of humiliation like flames connecting to his skin. He drops your hand quickly and resumes his original position of clasping his fists in front of his mouth, his elbows propped up on his knees.

“Gally I-” It’s already too late for justifications. The moment has passed.

“I think you should leave,” he’s still staring straight ahead, his eyes glassy.

“Uh, ok. Like, now?” you try to keep the pain out of your voice by feigning confusion.

“Yeah. You came here to fuck me and you did so, you can leave now,” he snaps back. Anger always seems to suit Gally better; it’s more becoming of him. 

“I don’t…I don’t understand what I did wrong,” Yes I do.

“Nothing’s wrong. We’re done having sex. Get the fuck out of my hut now,” Please don’t leave.

“Fine asshole; I’m leaving!” I’m sorry.

You rise to your feet dumbfounded. I’m sorry. You grab your jacket from the floor. I’m sorry. You walk to the door. I’m sorry. You turn the knob. I’m sorry. You step over the threshold. I’m sorry. You shut the door behind you. I’m sorry.

Despite the hundreds of times the phrase “I’m sorry” pounded in your ears as you left Gally behind, you never found the courage to say it out loud. You wipe your own tears from your eyes as you walk back to your hut, hoping that wasn’t the last chance you’d ever get to say it.

{<--------->}

Tags: @katie-tibo @my-little-universes @cthood @decaffeinatedpuppygiver @sarahstar11

[lavenderhateswritting]

Mohawk Mark x Reader

I have a favorite variant I'll be the first to admit. Reader has the power to create shields that can stand up to limitless amounts of damage, but it will begin to drain them of their energy until they collapse

Oh God you were fucked. I mean legitimately fucked in a way thst can't be truly described. I mean what was Cecil thinking sending you to try and fight one of these evil Invincibles. Your powers are purely defensive and now you're expected to be able to stop someone who you've watched go toe to toe with Omniman. That man wanted you dead that could be the only answer as to why he had sent you out here.

You had a job to do though and if you didn't contain this Invincible variant he was going to tear through New York and kill the millions of people just trying to live their lives.

You had been trying your hardest to defend who you could while staying off of the Invincibles radar. You had been using your shields to stop debris from crushing civilians and when you could using them to reinforce buildings that were getting torn through and give the people inside a chance to escape even if it was only a few seconds.

You weren't going to be able to hold this up for long though and eventually you found yourself standing in front of a safe house that had been housing nearly every civilian within a 6 mile radius. You had completly covered the building in a shield and hoped yo would be able to hold out long enough for someone stronger to come.

The Invincible variant was standing in front of you and it was the first time you had ever seen him up close. He looked so different from your Invincible it was almost jarring especially the almost crazed look in his eyes.

Suddenly he moved forward with so much power that he destroyed the concrete under his feet as he rocketed towards you. You barely registered his movement and before you knew it he had punched the shield directly where you were standing. The power of it sent your head reeling and made your legs shake with the effort to hold you up.

"I've fought you before you know. Back in my world punched through these little shields of yours and then ripped through your stomach." He said it with a deranged smile on your face that made you want to sprint in the the other directon as fast as possible. This man was insane.

"Well I'm you're just gonna have to kill me again then because I'm not letting you kill these people." You tried to make your voice sound as confident as possible, but exhaustion and fear made it waver. That seemed to bring him even more joy. As he reeled his arm back

"That's the plan handsome." He smashed his fist back down into the shield again with just as much force as before. And then he began o pound his fists into the shield over and over again. Every hit rang in the back of your head like a sledge hammer. As the assault continued you found yourself falling to the floor completley barely able to keep your arms underneath you.

"Well if it makes you feel any better you definitely lasted longer than my universes version of you be proud of yourself." He reeled his fist back again and smashed into your shield so hard that your teeth began to chatter. You heard him start to laugh hysterically.

"I guess we're finding your upper limit then huh." You lifted your head off the ground where you had finally completly collapsed to see the cracks radiating from the area he had hit. You weren't going to be able to go for much longer. You could barely hold your head off the ground and he hadn't even broken a sweat.

"Ff-fuck you dickhead." You finally spit out. There was blood beginning to drip out of your nose and mouth. You were going to die here. "So mean to me handsome and here I was appreciatng the view. Your blood looks great on you by the way makes you look all rugged my kinda man."

"What the hell are you talking about you psycho?" Because you simply couldn't believe it there was no way he was flirting with you while tou were dying that's to insane.

"I was kinda sad when I killed you I really didn't appreciate the eye candy until I was stuck with the rest of those fuckers at the GDA and now look at you so weak that if I broke this and took you back with me there'd be nothig you could do about it."

Well fuck. Of course the one time another man is trying to ask you out its while he's trying to fucking kill you. You have shit luck.

"I would rather die." He pulled his fist back again and you both knew this would be the end of the fight. He smashed his fist through the shield and the shield smashed into thousands of pieces of blue glitter that disappeared in seconds. You were fucked.

The Invincible stood over to you now and leaned over you until he was right next your ear.

"Its really funny that you think you have a say in how any of this goes." And then he giggled to himself like the very idea of you deciding how this ends was ridiculous.

"Now you just stay right there and I'm going to raze that building to the ground and come back for you when I'm done." He turned toward the building you were defending and began to speed forward. You had so little energy left in you, but you couldn't just let these people die. So you held your hand up and made a shield that was only big enough to encircle him stopping him in his place.

He turned his head back towards you cocking his head like he was confused as to where this last burst had come from. "Well look at that you still have something left in you huh. I was really hoping not to fry your brain this fight, but I guess it can't be helped." He tried to punch through the shield surrounding them, but just as he pulled his arm back you willed the shield to smash into the ground as hard as you could.

"Oh you little shit where were you hiding that move." God you had barely even scratched him. He was still smiling like this was a fun fight for him and not your last stand. You lifted the shield again and then smashed it back down.

"I don't get it. I mean you're barely concious right now and yet you're still trying to save these weaklings who won't even be alive to thank you for your sacrafice."

"They don't need to thank me. I'll save them anyways every chance I get." You could taste the blood getting caught in your throat you had never pushed your body this far before and you weren't sure that your body would be able to come back from this.

"Fine I'll just have to handle you first sad I wanted to cop a feel." The asshole had the nerve to actually look sad about that fact. Then he started to press his hands against the walls of the shield contaning him and started to push with a force that made you scream out. Your eyes blurred over and you began to hear ringing in your ear.

He was floating over you now the sun obscuring his face."Don't worry someone as strong as you will have a place in my empire and my harem." And then the blackness consumed you. You had failed.

[sofiatarot]

PAC: Silver springs: Who's still longing for you?

TIP JAR - FREE READINGS - PAID READINGS

Silver springs live 1997 that's all I got to say—

1//2

3//4

The haunting ache of a love that never truly came to life, left hanging in the air, leaving one person tangled in the “what ifs” and unable to let go. It’s that bittersweet mix of yearning and frustration—aching for what could’ve been, yet burning with the knowledge that it wasn’t allowed to be.

We’ll uncover the person you left dreaming of you, enchanted by your presence, and longing for more. This is their perspective—their nostalgia, their desire, and the message they would send if they had the chance.

Group 1:

This person saw you as a guiding light in their life—a beacon of hope and inspiration. Your presence made them feel seen and valued, even if only from a distance. They admired your grace, your vulnerability, and the quiet power you held over them. To them, you were like a star: dazzling and magnetic, yet unreachable.

They often found themselves imagining a future with you, but the reality of your connection always felt just out of reach. They believed in the possibility of something deeper, yet circumstances—or perhaps your own reservations—kept it from unfolding. Despite the barriers, they couldn't help but dream of what it would feel like to have you fully in their life.

The ending of this connection left them with a bittersweet ache. They may have felt excluded, as if you never let them fully in. They tried to find joy in your shared moments, but the imbalance between their hopes and reality created a sense of longing that they couldn't shake.

They want you to know how deeply you affected their heart. They would tell you that they saw your potential, even when you doubted yourself. They might admit that your own doubts or hesitations made them feel unworthy, but in their eyes, you were always more than enough.

If they could, they would ask why you couldn’t see the love they wanted to give you. They’d express their frustration at feeling like they were kept at arm’s length, unable to reach the version of you they believed existed beneath the surface.

They’d tell you they’ve grown in your absence, finding strength in the lessons this connection taught them. Yet, despite the healing, they still think of you as a pivotal part of their journey. Your light continues to guide them, even if from afar.

This person’s heart holds a mix of admiration and sorrow. They cherish the time they spent with you, even if it wasn’t enough to fulfill their hopes. You remain a symbol of what they wish they could have had, a dream that lingers like starlight in their memory.

The energy of this group suggests someone who's deeply intuitive and emotional. They may have a creative soul and a nurturing heart, but they often put others before themselves. Their connection to you felt like a spiritual lesson, one that changed the way they view love.

Astrological energy: Aquarius, pisces, scorpio, 11th house, venus, neptune.

Group 2:

This person’s energy was fiery and dynamic, someone who approached you with passion and determination. They were drawn to your confidence and independence, captivated by the way you seemed to move through life with purpose. To them, you were like a flame—impossible to ignore and impossible to control.

Their attraction to you was intense, but they often felt like they couldn’t quite match your energy. They admired your strength but sometimes felt overwhelmed by it. Despite their efforts to get closer, they were left feeling like they were always chasing after you, never quite able to keep up.

They remember moments of vulnerability between you—brief glimpses into a softer side of you that made them fall even harder. Yet, they often felt as though you were guarded, as if you kept a part of yourself hidden from them. This left them wondering if you ever truly trusted them or if they were simply another admirer in your orbit.

If they could speak to you now, they’d tell you how much they learned from watching you. Your confidence and resilience inspired them to be bolder in their own life. They’d admit that their feelings for you pushed them out of their comfort zone, even if the connection didn’t unfold the way they’d hoped.

They’d ask you if you ever think of them, if they made any lasting impact on your life. They’d want to know if their love for you was ever truly seen or if it was dismissed as fleeting infatuation. Their words would carry a mix of vulnerability and defiance, a desire to be remembered despite the distance between you.

Though they’ve tried to move on, they carry a spark of your memory with them. It burns quietly, a reminder of a love that never fully ignited but left its mark all the same.

This person’s energy is bold and assertive, but their fiery exterior hides a sensitive heart. They are someone who fights for what they want but struggles with the vulnerability that comes with unrequited love.

Astrological energy: Aries, leo, gemini, 5th house, mars, mercury.

Group 3:

This person is a fighter, someone who believed in the potential of your connection and was willing to face any challenge to make it work. They were determined to show you their worth, even if it meant pushing past obstacles that seemed insurmountable.

They viewed your connection as a partnership with immense potential, but it was often fraught with conflict and miscommunication. Despite the difficulties, they saw you as someone worth the effort—a person who brought both passion and complexity into their life.

The ending of your connection felt like a loss they couldn’t quite reconcile. They were left with a sense of defeat, wondering if there was more they could have done to bridge the gap between you. They often replay the moments where things went wrong, searching for answers that may never come.

If they could speak to you now, they’d tell you how much they valued the time they spent with you. They’d express their frustration at feeling misunderstood, as though their intentions were never fully seen. They’d want you to know that their efforts came from a place of love, even if they weren’t always perfect in their execution.

They’d admit that the connection challenged them in ways they didn’t expect, forcing them to confront their own insecurities and flaws. They’d thank you for the lessons, even if they came with pain.

This person’s energy is grounded yet stubborn. They are someone who values stability and commitment but struggles with letting go when things don’t go as planned.

Astrological energy: Capricorn, sagittarius, taurus, 10th house, saturn, jupiter.

Group 4:

This person is deeply nostalgic, someone who carries the weight of your connection like a bittersweet memory. They often think back to the moments you shared, wondering what could have been if things had gone differently.

Your presence in their life felt like a catalyst, stirring emotions they didn’t know they were capable of feeling. Yet, the ending of your connection left them questioning their own worth. They were left with a sense of loss, as though a part of them had been left behind with you.

If they could speak to you now, they’d tell you how much they cherish the memories of your time together. They’d admit that, despite the pain, they wouldn’t trade those moments for anything. They’d want you to know that you made a lasting impact on their heart, even if your paths have diverged.

Their energy is tender and reflective, someone who feels deeply but struggles to let go of the past. They are a dreamer, someone who holds onto hope even when the odds seem impossible.

Astrological energy for this group: Cancer, libra, virgo, 4th house, moon, venus.

NEVAA GET AWAAAAAAAY

xoxo✨️

Dividers: @anitalenia @dollywons 🙏🏻

[popopretty]

[Translation] Asagiri Kafka's afterwords for The Day I Picked up Dazai novel

Normally, afterwords would be the last thing I read in a novel, but as there are not many changes to the published novel this time compared to the movie bonus version, I was able to skim through the text quickly and get to this. And to be honest, despite not being a writer myself, I was so moved by Asagiri's views about writing and his characters that he shared in the afterwords, that I had to sit down and translate it right away.

This is just my crappy translation, as usual, but I hope it gave you a short, interesting look into the author and the characters. And please do not forget to buy the novel if you have the chance.

The translation is under the cut, thank you!

It has been a while. This is Asagiri Kafka.

Have you been enjoying Bungou Stray Dogs?

This novel, “The Day I Picked up Dazai”, is a compilation of the first week’s bonus novel “The Day I Picked up Dazai – Side A” and the second week’s bonus novel “The Day I Picked up Dazai – Side B” for the screening of “Bungou Stray Dogs BEAST” movie (hereinafter referred to as “BEAST”).

Normally, it is difficult to publish a bonus like this, but since "BEAST” and “Fifteen” that were published earlier by BEANS Bunko were originally bonus novels too, "The Day I Picked up Dazai” was also published in the same way, thanks to the efforts of all parties involved in the Bungou Stray Dogs series.

It is the story of Dazai and Odasaku’s first meeting, where Dazai who wants to die, collapsed in front of Odasaku’s place, who is neither a mafioso nor a hit man.

Why are there two different stores, Side A and Sode B? Regarding this question, please read the novel and see for yourself. If you keep in mind that this is the bonus for the BEAST movie, I think you will be able to understand it better.

Let me reminisce a little bit here.

This story was actually suggested to me by Igarashi Takuya, Director of the Bungou Stray Dogs anime.

Shortly before BEAST movie premiered, I was struggling. It was because I was asked to write a bonus novel for movie-goers again. I said “again” because, as I mentioned earlier, BEAST itself was a bonus novel for the Bungou Stray Dogs DEAD APPLE movie. I remembered having a hard time writing it, because I let myself run wild and wrote a total of 190 pages instead of 50 pages as requested.

But I had learnt my lesson after the last rampage. I can’t just write whatever I want anymore. I have to wrap the story in a reasonable length, like a pro should do.

A proper, professional story.

Huh?

My pen stopped right there. I stopped, looked around, feeling lost.

What is a proper story?

The act of writing novel is quite different in character compared to other types of media such as writing manga, anime scripts, or game scenarios. You can say it is almost a different thing. Writing novels, rather than narrating an event, is more like putting the flow of emotions into specific sentences. You use the sequence of letters to create rhythms, create flows, and create emotions. If anything, it might be closer to composing a song than writing a story.

Therefore, you have to decide “what kind of emotion will be put in this novel” from the very beginning, or you can’t start writing. That is the only and absolute rule.

Now, however, that is where the condition of a “proper story” hung over me.

A proper novel, of a proper volume, with a proper content for a bonus.

In other words, a proper emotion.

I searched through the drawers inside my head. For a proper emotion that is waiting to be brought out.

There was nothing but emptiness there.

A professional story teller is one with the skill to move the readers’ emotions. When people find the chance to move their own emotions, they will happily be paying for it. Human-being is that kind of creature.

And writers are ones who create and sell those kinds of emotions: the fear, the excitement, the heart throb etc., those that make you think. It is that kind of job.

It is supposed to be that kind of job.

Yet I became unable to move forward.

A good story is a story that moves people. I know that. Then what kind of emotion I should put in the story to make it "proper"?

How do I find that emotion?

I mean, how did I even write novels until now?

I stood still. My legs stiffened, my knees froze, unable to take even a step forward.

I then tried to at least pretend that I was moving forward, by listening to music, by taking a walk around the neighborhood at night. But as good as the night breeze felt, I didn’t manage to reach a single story that I needed to write.

What if I stayed like this forever, what would I do?

I felt a chill plunging into my back.

Then I realized, that stories, or probably emotions too, are not things you can search for or come up with. You have no choice but to patiently wait for it to come your way. You have no choice but to humbly and earnestly sit and wait for the story’s visit.

I got that, but the "proper 50-page story” still refused to come.

It was not long before one week passed. Then two weeks.

I was doing other work, while keeping my heart’s door open, waiting for the story to come to me.

At that time, I had an online meeting with the anime staff. I casually asked Director Igarashi, “Do you have any story you want to see?”

The Director gave it a little thought then told me, "I want to see the story of Dazai and Oda’s encounter”.

At that very moment, the story rushed in through my door, like a bang. I could hear that sound very clearly.

Two stories. Odasaku, and the two Dazais. A story where they met, and a story where they couldn’t meet. A story of gain and a story of loss. If I can portray the gain and loss side by side, the amplitude of the heart will be doubled and rise up in front of us.

That was a momentary event. Rather than pushing my way forward, I felt as if something was pulling my hand. Before I noticed, I have already finished the stories.

I came to realize.

It is not the writer who searches for the story. It is the story that chooses its writer, and at some point it will come our way. A professional writer is no more than someone with the ability to catch that call.

Also, this is the most important thing: there is no such thing as a “proper emotion”. Because after all, the feelings of other people belong to them only. That is why there is no guarantee that a novel can move others “properly”. However, you can move your own emotions. You know what kind of novel can and how it will move you. If you do, you can write just that. That’s the only way. That is the truly professional attitude. That’s what I thought.

Well then.

It is a little bit off topic, but as we are talking about “stories that come our way”, let’s talk about Odasaku’s first-person narrative.

Odasaku is a special character. For me, he is exclusively a novel character, and I have never portrayed him in the manga.

He first appeared as the narrator in “Dazai Osamu and The Dark Era”, then “BEAST” and now this “The Day I Picked up Dazai”. All are novels. That’s why for me, Odasaku doesn’t live inside the pictures, he lives inside the first-person narrative passages.

He is an eccentric guy. Even if you prepare the place and tell him to speak, he won’t speak to you that easily. His way of thinking is rather unique, that if I write his narrative after writing other characters’ first-person narrative, I would stumble for sure. Odasaku doesn’t speak. He just sits there in silence, while I can do nothing but sitting in front of my blank manuscript paper, trying to talk to him, like “What’s up?”, “Here, here”. However, he is a guy who won’t speak when it is not necessary. Sometimes it goes days or even weeks without him saying a word. Why did such a character come to me...?

During such time, there is only one thing I can do. That is, of course, to stay with him, sit patiently, and simply wait.

Finally he will start speaking. In his unique rhythm, word by word. His words have the power to cut through the world from a certain angle. That special cross-section is full of things I have never seen before and it never fails to surprise me.

And then when he finishes telling his story, he will swiftly disappear. To a dark and quiet place somewhere – probably, I can only imagine, somewhere like a bar. He will sit there calmly and keep his own time to himself. After that, it will be hard to call him again. It is a backbreaking task to me, but in the end, that is the type of guy Odasaku is, and if I am allowed to sound self-conscious, that is Odasaku's charm.

This story was written in such a way. There is a chance that he will come back again. And when he does, I will patiently listen to his voice again.

This story was completed and published thanks to the help of many people: in the Bungou Stray Dogs BEAST movie’s Production Committee, the anime staff, Young Ace’s Editorial Department, BEANS Bunko’s Editorial Department, and the many people who were involved in the publication of the book. Thank you very much. It is all thanks to you that the book was published without any problem this time as well.

Well then, see you in the next story.

Asagiri Kafka.

[satoruhour]

Helllooo!!!! I hope you're doing well<33 I'm not sure if you're taking requests so this can be taken as a random rant as well. (I'm in my exam week-depressed-stressed era lol) but is it just me Or the animated version of choso and the mans voice actor just doubled his hotness!?? Hence why me is here to ask if you could do a choso street racer au, could be anything from him meeting at a race or him taking them drifting? Idk but I just need more racer choso au's😭😭😭

LUCKY DIME

a/n: oh no my love i hope your exams went well and that you’re resting comfortably now ❤️ OFCCCC i planned to write a racer!choso for so long i just didnt have any motivation / tagging @screampied

wc: 3k

warnings: racer!choso, reader is ‘dating’ a weirdo, fem!reader, threat of sexual assault (from weirdo guy), threatening harm, flashback, unsafe driving tendencies (dont follow them in this fic lol pls drive safely), semi-public sex (parking lot), car sex, slight nipple play, oral (f! receiving) / cunnilingus, fingering, finger sucking, implied multiple rounds and p -> v sex later on, n*sfw under the cut

choso hasn’t always been open about his origins — moving from the shimotsuma district to shibuya just two years ago in need of quick cash to send back to his struggling mother. it was a hard decision on both ends, with his mother advocating more for him to leave for a better life than the one she could offer. he acquiesced with a promise to earn enough to send back to her every month in return for the secret stash she provided for him and that promise meant everything. he was going to get money no matter what.

even if it meant meddling with the local yakuza, doing petty little tasks of collecting money, escorting the people important to the oyabun to their meeting places, being on lookouts while gambling and prostitution happens indoors. choso would never write back to his mother on what he’s been doing to get so much money, but if he’s able to send a hefty amount back to her on every 29th, he’s satisfied.

that is until he’s met with a couple arguing as they walk along the alleyway, creating such a ruckus that choso’s sure they could power the whole of shibuya — well, more of the man, anyways, saying something about racing and cars that he’s not even sure he catches on.

“well, if you just listened to her and opted for a flat-plane rather than use a cross-plane, maybe you wouldn’t have lost the race!” you’re throwing your hands up, struggling to walk behind in these new heels you bought while you navigate the dark alleyway. for a boy who’s expressed interest in you, he wasn’t doing well in trying to keep you one bit. you’d say he’s rather annoyed that you know so much about cars, trying to genuinely help him while he just sees it as attacks.

“yeah, well, if you kept your mouth shut, you wouldn’t have embarrassed me about losing to noritoshi.” you roll your eyes, unaware you’re passing a dangerous area with dangerous activities behind the door choso was guarding, nor do you notice the way the bodyguard perks up at the name of noritoshi, who sounds awfully familiar.

you scoff, “trust me, you embarrassed yourself the moment you tried to challenge the dude,” it was meant to be a harmless comment; noritoshi could never measure up to the famous four, but he practised his drifting hard enough and put in the hard work, stayed humble. he was everything that your “man” wasn’t, and it was only deserved that he didn’t win. ultimately, you didn’t expect much from a man in the illegal racing scene who only cared about who had the nicest engines and paint finishes.

“what’d you say?”

choso keeps a close eye on the both of you.

“it was nothing—” you sigh, reaching out to grab at his arm to get him to stop shouting so loud when you notice the person standing in front of a shady door — twin pigtails hairstyle with a dead look in his eyes and a tattoo across his nose, dressed up in a suit. it was scary enough walking through a dimly-lit alleyway, but your fear heightens when your eyes fall upon the surroundings of ashes of late night campfires, dried blood along the walls, and used condoms on the floor.

“no, no, tell me what you said, just so i know that i heard you right,” your “man” insisted, stepping up so close to you that your nerves were on high alert from the proximity and the possibility of that someone just a few feet away inflicting harm on the both of you.

“it was nothing! i just meant that you didn’t have a chance against noritoshi from the st—” it’s like you hit a sensitive nerve, because the next thing he’s doing is grabbing your wrist and dragging you along, not aware of how choso perks up even more, ready to leave his post. it borderline hurts with the way he grasps at your skin, paired with the discomfort of your heels and outfit, you can’t just wait to get home and rest up.

“ohh, so that’s what you said!” the man continues to tug you, not heeding your pleas for him to stop, “might as well just leave you here with the yakuza to see whether you stand a chance.”

that’s what the man was guarding . . wait.

a shout wretches out of you when you notice there’s no shadows at the door that’s lit simply with fluorescence at the same time the mysterious man has one hand each on your arms.

“who are you—” your “man” has the gall to speak first, shocked at the stronger grip of the other when he tears the fingers away from your wrist before stumbling back. the mysterious guy simply tugs you into his hold, levelling the other with just a stare from his eyes that’s got him babbling and stuttering in fear. you hate to admit that once the man beside you speaks, your body curls into his side — it’s like a smooth cup of coffee that you gravitate towards.

“do you want to repeat what you just said?” choso puts you behind him as he approaches the other, one step taken while the cowering one takes one step back. “because i can always open the door i’m guarding and let them take care of you, instead.”

“t-that wouldn’t be necessary—” he’s adamant on his threatening, taking out a flip phone and dialling numbers one by one, no doubt the number of his boss. he doesn’t even look at you, eyes trained on the pigtailed man as he continues to dial the number and pressing call. if choso’s being honest, he’s about to shit himself just as much, never having called his saiko-komon personally before so he only fakes the number, thanking the heavens that someone somewhere decided to call his boss’ phone just at the same time.

they all hear it, the familiar nokia ringtone from behind the door, but in choso’s ear, all it says is that it’s an invalid number that garners no answer. he talks over the operator’s voice anyway.

“yeah, i need you to take care of this guy. just outside here—” that’s enough for him to go running away, puddles splashing and his voice crying out for civilisation, although you’re not too happy yourself, afraid for your own fate. kept like a pet for the yakuza? made to work for them to pay off this small helping hand? commit—

you sit up from the hood, “you called a fake number?!” it’s hard to say when that fateful meeting turned into this over the past few months, asking choso to recount the night the two of you met out of curiosity when you realise that your yakuza-accountant boyfriend had dialled a fake number the whole time.

“i had just joined! i wasn’t going to phone my boss . .” he sheepishly says with head turned to you, and while you’re giving him brutal smacks on the shoulder (“what! if! he! hadn’t! run! away! were you going to let a phone operator beat him up?”), you’re still thankful he decided to step in at the right time even if his heroic act had been brought down a notch by this revelation.

it’s then that he asks about the whole racing thing you were involved in but you’re taken aback by the fact that he wasn’t going to make you do anything in return. even if the alley had boasted its dubiousness, you realise than the man standing in front of you was not much older than you, a childish sparkle in his eyes when you entertained the question. with a random number in your phone, it was up to you if you wanted to text him, but after a few races, you think that he was just too handsome to pass up.

choso picked up racing and drifting fast, joining your small group of friends of yuji, megumi and nobara who were all rising up the ranks. it was difficult, knowing the famous four, but it didn’t hurt trying to build a reputation in the underground scene. he practised around the docks, crashing into crates, sending the seagulls flying, and almost sending your scrap car over the edge.

“tokyo is pretty at this time of night,” choso mumbles as he sits up, too, liking the way you scooch closer to him on the hood of his 1967 Ford Mustang.

“tokyo is cold, i’m lucky i’m not freezing to death.” you tease him even when you’re wearing his warm jacket, squealing when his cold hands make it under the jacket and your shirt.

“how are you cold, that jacket’s wool!” he nestles his face into your neck, freezing nose touching the skin there and you giggle, trying your best to push him away. choso says that, but he’s happy to see you in his jacket while his arms tingle with both frost and lovesickness. “you’re just extra sensitive to the cold.”

before you can retaliate, though, he’s pulling away from your body heat to look you in the eye; it was a wonder he even got you, a girl who’s just so passionate about cars and who taught him everything he needed to know about it. six months down the road, he’s writing about something other than living paycheck to paycheck again, getting in some extra money from racing as well.

“wanna drive?”

you grin, hopping off his hood before jumping into the car beside him and he only laughs at your enthusiasm, hopping in after you and starting the ignition. you wish it was like this before every race: you beside him in the passenger seat as he gets ready to race against his opponent. the rev of the engine always excites you, knowing you contributed to the many modifications of his Mustang. but choso always says it’s dangerous for you — so you’re left to watch from the sidelines.

but now, as choso drifts down the mountain, you can’t help but stare at him as he changes gears every few seconds, hair blowing everywhere from the wind outside before he reaches the base and races off into the main road. you’re shouting in excitement, music blasting loudly from the cassette player while you dominate the streets at night.

“d’you think i can break 190, sweetheart?”

your jaw drops, “while drifting?” he nods, “you’re insane . . yeah, do it.”

choso’s laughter feels infinitely heavenly, stepping on the accelerator on a fairly empty road. he’s familiar with the traffic of the roads too, so at 4am, it’s basically deserted when he speeds down the gravel while he tries to break the speed limit. you feel on top of the world, a pretty road full of green lights on every turn; there’s a couple of sharp screeches from his tires as he navigates shibuya.

“hear that increased throttle response . .” you whistle when he presses his foot into the accelerator again, Mustang speeding off into the streets while you look over to him: hand holding the stick shift and one hand on the wheel. he’s as pretty as you remember him six months ago and his beauty truly hits you in the moment that you unconsciously rub your thighs together.

“all thanks to you, baby,” feels like the final blow, not knowing the effect he has on you until you’re waiting until he slows down to place your hand atop his on the steering wheel. there he lets you steer where you want to go, face melting into recognition at the place you’re taking him to.

“you’re nasty.” in the abandoned car park, he giggles when you’re shushing him as you make your way to the backseats, levelling him with a stare that begged him to hurry.

“yeah . . whatever, you like it.”

choso grins, switching off the ignition and climbing in after you, making you forget all about the cold season of japan in mere minutes. his lips collide with yours and his body naturally pushes yours to the leather seats, driving you crazy just with his mouth. his hands make quick work of your skimpy outfit, inching past your tight halter top and to your tits. you gasp softly into the kiss.

“may i?” even after all this time, choso still asks for permission, pulling down your top and bra when you nod.

his mouth is both warm and gentle when it meets with your nipple, tongue swirling around the bud and eyes looking up at you just to relish in the hooded lids and soft moans you give him. his free hand fondles your other, squeezing and playing, rolling the bud between his thumb and forefinger.

“just s’soft . . always,” he hums into your chest, kissing you down bit by bit and making you wait for it with each teasing journey he makes. there, he manoeuvres himself onto the floor, kneeling on the carpeted finishing as your knees hook onto each shoulder. the car is filled with your laboured breathing, watching him slowly undo the straps to your uncomfortable heels. it’s excruciatingly slow, pulling at the strings and removing each shoe before his lips leave fire along your shin, up to your thighs and to your pulsing core.

“choso . .” you whine, hips bucking off the leather.

all he does is laugh, hands spreading your legs before he’s licking his lips at the mess you made in your skirt, panties and back of the fabric soaked right through. your boyfriend pulls you forward with a certain fervour that makes you yelp and you match him with a nervous grin as he tugs away the underwear and marvels at the arousal that just sticks to your pussy, pretty and dripping right in front of him.

you have no warning before choso indulges himself in your cunt and you cry out in surprise, hand tangled up in the mess of his hair that falls from his pigtails. his warm tongue laps at your clit like a man starved, slurping up all of your arousal into his tongue. the cold weather is just the cherry on top, cold wind wafting through the walls and the windows, making you extra sensitive.

“c-cho—” you hum, one hand lost in his black locks while the other clutches tightly onto the seats for any sort of anchor while choso only pushes his face further in between your legs. he can feel your pussy clench around nothing, switching between sucking and flicking his tongue with a relentless pace that threatens your sanity. “t-too much . .”

all he does is laugh into your centre, eyes flitting to meet yours while he continues his ministrations, arms wrapping around your thighs. choso moans at how good and sweet you taste, a curious hand moving from your legs right to your hole where he plays with your folds. gently, he pushes past your walls and you whimper from the intrusion, clamping down around his finger.

“relax, darling, i got you,” he softly says, relaxing his pace just a bit as he starts to thrust his finger. while slow, his tongue doesn’t stop, however, still continuing to make the lewdest noises.

“pussy so damn sweet,” he groans, nuzzling his face right into your sloppy core before teasing a second finger; it’s easy to slip in but he still warns you wordlessly, inching them right in until they reach the knuckles, “and so tight, too—”

the car is filled with the smell of sex, the sounds of your pussy and your endless moans as choso starts to pump his fingers in and out, reaching so much deeper than any of your toys can and stretching you out just right. your hips buck uncontrollably as you feel that coil in your stomach, knowing that you were only going to get even more of this before choso properly fucks you — but it’s all he promises, that to make sure you’d cum on his fingers and tongue thrice before he even thinks of railing you like you deserve.

“c-choso, your fingers—!”

“yeah?” it’s breathless, bottom half of his face all soaked and wet, but he goes right back in.

“mmfuck— cho, cho, p-please . .” your words are jumbled up, babbling through your teeth while his fingers gathers all of your juices, “i’m g’nna—”

choso thinks you’re just perfect like this, moaning as much as you want in his Mustang and spread out just for him to eat. he cannot keep his eyes off you, curling his fingers just a bit to find your sweet spot as he flicks your bundle of nerves as his eyes stay on the way your lips part for little pants to escape. your eyes have fluttered close by now but he doesn’t mind as you continue to push his head towards your cunt.

“cum on my fingers, my love,” the other groans, words muffled a little, “cum on my tongue like a good girl.” 

“cho— f-fuuck . .” you writhe around on the leather seats as you reach your peak, voice descending into a silent scream while your jaw hangs open. at his peripheral he can see and feel your thighs tremble while you chant his name like a prayer, over and over until you think your voice is hoarse. his seats are wet, no doubt, and you wince seeing your cum decorate the leather, but choso quietens your worries as he leans up to give you a kiss. you can taste yourself.

“taste good?” you’re ruined despite it being your first orgasm, answering half-heartedly before slumping, a soft moan leaving you when he removes his fingers and strings of your arousal stick to each digit. his hand naturally gravitates towards your mouth, fumbling with your lips before he pushes in — distracted, he takes the opportunity to latch his mouth onto your cunt again and you mewl loudly.

“that’s just the start,” choso grins, laying a long stripe up your pussy and groaning softly at the way your tongue swirls over his fingers, “i’m sorry in advance . . hope you’re able to get out of bed tomorrow, baby.”

[prettieinpink]

Hi lanny! Could you provide a guide on how to get into working out? 💗💖

GUIDE TO STARTING TO WORK OUT

hi lele 💝☀️ hope this guide helps you w your journey!!

The first step to working out is setting goals related to exercise, not physical appearance. Avoid things like fat loss, muscle gain, smaller waist, bigger glutes and so on. 

While you can make this a separate goal, the reason why I don’t want you to associate it with exercise is that we then allow the way our body looks to dictate whether we believe the exercise we’re doing is good enough. 

Exercise and body aesthetics are two different things. Exercise is a means of nourishing our body, soul and mind, while body aesthetics is how ‘good’ our body looks. 

On that topic, I want you to stop focusing on your physical appearance when starting to exercise and I want you to start implementing a new mindset shift about your body. Instead of seeing your body as something to look at, appreciate it for what it can do. 

For example, your hands create meals, hug your loved ones and help you with essential tasks. Your legs help you to get around, especially to your favourite places. Your stomach helps with digesting all the yummy food you eat. 

Some goal ideas:

Lift 15kg+ 

Be able to do a plank for more than 5 minutes

Learn how to do a push-up

Be able to run on the treadmill for 30 minutes 

Gain more stamina and exercise for longer 

Moving on, set a time each day in which you prioritise exercise. This can be for however long you want and the times can vary daily. 

So, during this period, you are not allowed to do anything else other than exercise. It doesn’t even have to be a specific exercise either, if you’re feeling lazy and laps walking around the house is what feels best, do it. 

However, avoid obsessing over working out and losing yourself to exercise. This kills motivation, in exercise starts to feel like another obligation in the day and not a privilege. 

Now, you have to choose what exercise is right for you. I don’t believe you’re limited to one exercise, if you want you can have more than 1. 

Gym – Perfect for a mix of strength and cardio, however not the best option if you want to exercise for free.

Yoga – Tones muscles while also being a mindful experience. Low low-impact, but recommend doing it after cardio. 

Cycling – Tones the legs and the glutes, but cycling may not be the best idea depending on where you live. 

running/jogging – Strengthens muscles and bones, however, if you don’t have flat areas, may not be the best idea. 

Pilates – Improves flexibility and tone, while still being low impact (still may be challenging).

Weightlifting – Makes you stronger and boosts your metabolism, best done at the gym. 

There are plenty of ways to exercise that I haven’t mentioned here, but these are just ideas so you can research the ones that suit you best.

I recommend talking to a doctor if you haven’t done exercise in a long time, as that can open up the possibility of injury. 

Then, once we have our goals, times and what we’re doing, we need to exercise. Implementing exercise in your life is best done slowly. 

Start with simple, and smaller versions of workouts, even if you think you can do more. Do this for about a week, then try to extend yourself with something harder. If it is too hard, don’t be afraid to go back a step. 

Make it fun, create a motivating exercise playlist or watch your favourite TV show while doing it. 

However, the main thing about exercising is that every day you are not always going to feel like it, but that is when we have to discipline ourselves, talk to the mirror and say; ‘Me exercising is a privilege, I get to nourish my body because I love and respect it so much’. 

This was the best way I disciplined myself into working out. Treating it like a privilege and something that is very benefical, rather than a painstakingly challenging activity.

Or, instead, you can visualise what you would look and feel like if you continue like this for the next 5 years.

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Hello! I just found your blog and am very grateful there’s someone out there who’s trying to help people like me with my writing endeavours 🙏

I do have a question about plot I was hoping you might be able to help me with? Essentially, I know what I want my plot to be, but as I’m writing it out, I just can’t seem to make the story flow? Like I can write point 1 and I can write point 2, but u can’t connect them.

I don’t know if this makes sense. I’m sorry if it’s confusing 😅 But I’d appreciate any help, and thanks for reading this. Feel free to discard!! 💕💕

Sorry if this response was a bit late! Thank you for this question!!!

I'm so glad you stumbled upon my blog and that you're finding the content helpful. I promise, It's writers like you who inspire me to keep creating these resources. 💕

I totally understand the struggle with plot flow - it's one of the most common challenges new writers face. You don't need to worry, you're not alone in this! I've been there myself, especially with the projects I'm currently working on. and I'm happy to share some tips that might help you smooth out the tricky transition between your plot points.

First off, it's important to remember that a well-paced, cohesive plot doesn't just happen - it takes work to craft the "perfect" seamless narrative. But the good news is, there are some techniques you can use to bridge those gaps and keep your story moving forward in a natural way.

One thing to consider is your character's motivations and how they drive the plot forward. Ask yourself: What is my character's goal in this scene? What obstacles are they facing? How do those obstacles create tension and push the story onward? Grounding each plot point in your character's inner and outer journey can help you find those logical transitions.

It also might be helpful to take a step back and look at the bigger picture of your story. Try mapping out your major plot points on a timeline or outline. This can reveal areas where you might be missing crucial details or inciting incidents that would naturally lead from one point to the next. I've tried this multiple times and it really helped me.

And PLEASE don't be afraid to experiment! Try writing different versions of those tricky transitions - maybe your character reacts in an unexpected way, or an external event could shake up the status quo. Play around until you find an approach that feels organic and true to your story. Your story doesn't need to be linear, it can truly change however many times you want, especially during revision until you publish (if that's what you choose to do.)

Most importantly, be patient with yourself. Developing a compelling, well-structured plot takes time and practice. The more you write, the more you'll hone your skills and gain an instinct for pacing and flow. Pacing and flow is a really big issue for me. Sometimes it makes me even want to rewrite my entire draft. However, I make sure to know it's my world, my characters, and my story. I can change switch around any time I want.

I hope these suggestions give you a helpful starting point! Let me know if you have any other questions - I'm always happy to brainstorm and offer feedback. Wishing you all the best in your writing! 🙌 - Rin T

[princessaffirms]

hi!

i love your posts a lot<3

i kinda need help with something. so ive been manifesting stuff etc and the weird thing is, i mostly got my stuff..some stuff..well not.

and especially when it comes to manifest

"bigger" things. so for example i manifested a different nose (currently is a hooked noise and my nose i desire is a button nose) and well i said in my head "i have a lovely button nose" and its done i already have it. and bye the time i wake up tomorrow i'll be in my desired reality with my dream appearance. (i love manifesting over night)

so the thing is. when i shift/manifest, and i

"feel" the change.. i freak out. i get scared and i think.. this isn't real.and my heads like: "you're just imagining it blablabla."

so what i don't get is..why am i so scared of getting my results? like immediately my doubts are coming in.. it's annoying..

like when i get my results i think what i do is not real and that "magic" like this doesn't exist.

i would love to get an answer but you don't have to answer.

have a lovely day x

hi angel! ₊˚⊹♡ first of all, thank you for your sweet words, i’m so glad you enjoy my blog! 🥹 and second, i just want to say: everything you’re feeling is so normal and okay.

here’s the thing:

when you start feeling the shift (when your inner world moves) you HAVE shifted.

the shift happens immediately.

but sometimes your nervous system takes a bit longer to catch up. when this happens, your mind is still adjusting to the new assumption you chose. and that’s okay!

but that’s also why normalizing your new reality and your new story to yourself is so important, because it makes your desires your new BASELINE. it’s not something you’re like, “woah, it really happened!” but more so, “oh, there it is again! yay!” because success is so NORMAL and consistent for you! (there’s a reason i stress normalizing your desires 🫶)

it’s not necessarily that your manifestation is delayed (unless YOU assume that). it’s that your new identity is stabilizing.

your job now is to continue to persist in it, not second-guess it.

when the inner shift is real, the 3D has NO CHOICE but to mirror that. 🤍

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

🦢✨ about feeling scared when you get results:

babe, this is SO common!! sometimes people feel weird when their affirmations are physically projected in the 3D because deep down you realize:

“oh wait…i really AM that powerful.” 😌✨

and sometimes that can feel unfamiliar if you’ve spent so much of your life thinking you were powerless or at the mercy of external circumstances.

it’s not that the “magic” isn’t real — it’s that your mind is still adjusting to the fact that you are magic. (in the sense of being able to create your reality and not being at the mercy of the 3D)

your assumptions are magic.

your decisions are magic.

your very being is magic.

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

🦢✨ when you feel that doubt creep in, gently remind yourself:

⤷ “this is just my mind calibrating to my new reality. i’m safe to receive. i’m safe to shift. it’s already mine.”

then EMBODY the version of you who KNOWS it’s already yours. because it is!!

normalize the new story. own it. because this isn’t random. you’re not “making it up.” you’re not imagining things. you’re stepping into the reality you INTENTIONALLY chose. and it’s real. because you decided it is. you deserve it!!

i’m so proud of you angel, you’re doing AMAZING!! congrats on your success! you’re right on track.

normalize the shift. trust yourself. <3

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

i hope this helped! 🥹🫶

sending so much love and light always <3

[peanutpinet]

haii! I saw that you request is open. i want to request with mafia!jaehyun x wife!reader. Jaehyun and your brother (johnny) are known have died, killed by their rivals. unknowingly you're having a child years later, and when the other group saw, they wanted to kill both of you.

suprisingly, you were saved by nct and you mad at them being shadows and hide themselves from you for years especially jaehyun and johnny. so, (especially) jaehyun and the others regaining your trust back and want to be a dad in your child live, you're slowly trust him and others again (maybe there's an incident or something that jaehyun almost being killed cause he saved you and/or child(?)). thank you

Back For You - Mafia! Jaehyun x Wife! Fem Reader (ft Older Brother Johnny)

HAPPY 2024 EVERYONE!! I HOPE THAT EVERYONE HAD A GREAT JANUARY (jokes on me for saying happy new year but posting this at the end of January) I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING MIA BUT I was away for a 2-week holiday which took a lot out of me. Don't worry, I've tried to write a bit and while this isn't my best writing since I'm still trying things, I hope that the anon who requested this and those who are reading will still enjoy it!! Manifesting a better year for everyone!!

A/N: hi anon, thank you for requesting, it means a lot that you like my writing :(( coincidentally, I have been reading a few nct fics about the reader having the neos’ child but the neo never knew that they had a child. I do want to point out that this specific mafia story won’t be included in the mini mafia universe that I’ve made as the timeline doesn’t really match but I will make another Jaehyun mafia fic in the same mafia universe that I’ve created!

Also, to the anon who requested the Johnny & TY mafia, Jisung mafia, thank you guys for being patient but I am going through my requests (actually shocked I have several of requests because I didn't think my writing would be enjoyable without a smut sometimes). Also, also! TY's girl is making an appearance in the next two mafia fics and her name is Kim Eunji because I used this name for my translated version of TY's first mafia fic over on my Wattpad. Okay, onto the story!

Warnings: suggestive, angst, mentions of pregnancy and child birth, gunshots, blood, lil fluff

It took 5 years of trying to heal yourself from your loss. 5 years to finally be able to accept that it was now just you and your son, Yuno together. 5 years since your husband and brother, Jaehyun and Johnny respectively were reported to have died in a car accident. But those 5 years of acceptance and peace were soon ripped in a matter of seconds.

You were just picking up your son from daycare who was one of the last kids there because you had to finish your shift but when you had just arrived, you saw several black SUVs that came from around the corner.

At first you didn’t think much about it because you have never been associated with anything illegal nor have you done anything wrong in your life.

But right when you picked up your son and headed out, there were several men who came out of the SUVs and stopped in front of you and your son.

Instinctively, you held your son tighter to you as one of the men came towards you, mentioning a name that you have not heard in the past 5 years of your life.

“Are you Jung (Y/N), wife of Jung Jaehyun and younger sister of Johnny Suh?” one of the men questioned which made you wrap your arms around your son, your motherly instinct moved him behind you

“And who are you to ask?” you hissed but the man just chuckled until you noticed the other men surrounding you and your son

“We’d just like to ask you several questions about your husband and older brother. So if you would come with us and have a little chat…” the man mentioned, looking at your son. “We wouldn’t want the kid to see something that he wouldn’t want to see, now would we?”

“Mommy…” your son called out to you but you wouldn’t let him come out from behind you

“I don’t know how you know my name, my deceased brother and husband’s name but as far as I know, none of us have any association with people like you. And plus, like I’ve mentioned, my brother and husband are both dead. If there were any debts that they may have, their lawyer would’ve said something to me years ago” you tried your best to sound brave but in reality you feared what may happen to you and your son; especially when some of the men came closer

“You should come while we’re being civil” the man scoffed as he commanded the other men to take out some of their weapons as you shielded your son from the scene he might witness

But somehow, as if your husband has been protecting you even before your marriage, there were other men who came and took down all the men that were surrounding you before they could even do anything to you or your son.

Amongst the men who helped you, there was one with white/silver hair and black tint underneath. He walked past everyone and stood in front of you, his eyes was big but his eyebrows made him have a more strict look.

What he did next was what you didn’t expect. The man kneeled to your son’s level and even called him by his name. “Hey, you must be scared, aren’t you? I’m Taeyong. You can call me uncle Tae. I know your father very well. You have his dimples and eyes but have your mom’s smile. You’re a brave boy like your dad”

“You know Jaehyun?” You asked as Taeyong looked at you, his eyes turned soft and even looked like he was sorry when he stood back up to face you

“I think he and Johnny should be the one to tell you everything. I have no right to get in between family business” Taeyong mentioned while you stood in shock

“W-what do you mean that he and Johnny…” you stuttered but Taeyong continued before you got to finish your sentence. “They’re alive. Both of them. We found them 5 years ago, barely breathing and they were both in a coma for almost a whole year but enough of that, how about I…”

“How do I know that you’re not using them to get to me or something? For all I know you could be working with those people from before or something” you questioned, making Taeyong sigh until you heard the very voices that you thought you would never hear ever again

“(Y/N)!!!” You heard Jaehyun shout and turning around, you saw Jaehyun, your husband and Johnny, your older brother; both of whom you thought were dead were now in front of you

“H-hey, hey” Jaehyun came and held you in his arms, pulling you to his chest as you sobbed whereas Johnny came to hug his nephew

“Sssh, I’m here. I’m so sorry. I’m alive. We’re alive” Jaehyun tried to calm you down but you broke down even more and hit his chest, pushing him away as your tears covered your vision

“How could you! Both of you!!” You screamed at both men who lied to you for the past 5 years. Both men whom you cherished close to you and mourned hard when you heard about their car crash and no bodies were found 5 years ago

“I cried for both of you. I mourned you both. I had to go through pregnancy and birth on my own. I did everything alone for the past 5 years. Y-you both don’t get to just waltz back in as if nothing happened” you cried, even falling to the ground as your son rush to your side, hugging you

“Sweetheart. Little flower” both Jaehyun and Johnny said at the same time, both coming closer but your son stood in front of you

“H-hey lil peach…” Jaehyun uttered, about to kneel down to your son’s height but just like Jaehyun, your son was overly protective of you ever since he was just 2 years old

“Go away” your son shouted as you tried to calm him but he kept on going. “Don’t make my mom cry”

“Lil peach, I’m not gonna…” Jaehyun tried to reach out to his own son but he was rejected. “No!!”

“You made my mom cry! I don’t want mommy to cry anymore!” Your son shouted but you quickly hugged him, calming him down. “Hey, hey. Jeong Yuno, what did mommy teach you?” you mentioned your son’s name, making Jaehyun tear up a bit because you named your son after his name

“Don’t shout at anyone. Don’t shout to your elders, okay? Especially your dad and uncle” you stroke your son’s head who looks at you with the same worried eyes as Jaehyun’s

“I don’t want you to cry anymore mommy. I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t mommy sad. I want mommy happy” your son mentioned, making both Jaehyun and Johnny’s hearts clench

“Mommy’s not sad. Don’t worry, mommy’s okay” you cooed your son, hugging him close to you as you lift him up

“(Y/n)…” Jaehyun uttered, trying to reach for both you and your son

“Don’t…I, I can’t deal with this. I want to go home” you mentioned, your voice was clearly tired

“It’s not safe for you to go back home” Jaehyun mentioned. “Then where am I supposed to go Jaehyun?!” You argued back, Jaehyun clenching his fists

“We’ll take you back somewhere safe. Somewhere no one can find nor touch either of you. Somewhere I should’ve brought you to a long time ago” Jaehyun mentioned, directing to you one of the cars

“Little flower…” Johnny breathed but you walked past him, carrying your son tightly and protectively in your arms

“Know that I’m only going with you guys for my son’s safety and not because I’ve forgiven either of you just yet” you uttered, going into the car as Taeyong closed it before it went off

“Get some rest. Both of you. You can talk to her tomorrow” Taeyong mentioned, heading to his own car

“Hyung!” Jaehyun called out to Taeyong

“I told you that you both that you should’ve gone back to her back then. I kept my side of the promise and took care of her when you both went on that mission. But you broke your side of the promise to go back to her” Taeyong stated, looking at his two members

“I understand during the first year because you both were brutally injured from the accident but afterwards?” Taeyong reminded. “I don’t mean to butt into your family business but if either of you forgot, your wife and sister was pregnant and about to give birth when you guys were already awake from your coma. Regardless of your reasoning, both of you should’ve gone back to her. Losing two of your loved ones during pregnancy and birth is not easy and the fact that she went through all of that alone makes me respect her so much”

“I suggest you both discuss on your own. I can only do so much by ensuring her safety. You both already lost the past 5 years with her. Don’t lose her as well” Taeyong advised

Throughout the ride back to NCT’s penthouse, both Jaehyun and Johnny discussed how they were going to try and approach you. Johnny saying that he wants to approach you first because he is your only related family member left and he wants to make sure that you know he will always take care of you somehow.

But Jaehyun wanted the three of you to just sit down and talk so none of you misunderstood one another. Both Jaehyun and Johnny kept debating until they reached the room that Taeyong provided for you and your son.

Softly, Jaehyun knocked on the door, worried that he might accidentally wake you and your son but luckily you were still awake and answered the door.

Upon opening the door and seeing Jaehyun and Johnny, your first instinct was to shut it close but knowing both your husband and brother, you might as well talk it out with them and get it over with.

“What do you guys want?” you questioned, your voice coming out strong and rough, your eyes and nose were still red from all the crying

“Can we talk? The three of us. We owe you a full explanation about what happened and everything” Johnny mentioned, hoping that you’d give him and Jaehyun a chance to explain for themselves

“Not in here. I just put Yuno to sleep. He wouldn’t sleep until I fall asleep” you replied and hearing your reply, Jaehyun wanted to hug you and let you know that he never meant to leave you alone but he restrained himself until you finally accepted his apology and allowed him to be back in both you and your son’s life

“Let’s go next door then, it’s my room” Johnny suggested and you nodded in agreement

You came to find out that your room was situated between Johnny and Jaehyun’s room with Johnny being right next door and Jaehyun across your room.

Inside Johnny’s penthouse, you were welcomed with the modern but minimalistic interior with several additions of rare collectables which you knew your brother had been very fond of since young. You took in his entire place until you saw several framed pictures of him, Jaehyun, some of their other friends and even with you framed in the center amongst the other pictures.

“Do you still like your tea with 90% milk and sugar?” Johnny asked, already at the pantry, brewing up your favourite tea for you

“Yea, I can’t have too much caffeine during the night anyways” you replied, accepting the tea from your brother

“So, you guys going to explain yourselves on leaving me for the past 5 years?” you questioned, looking down at your husband and brother who sat across you

To say you were speechless was definitely an understatement because as much as you tried to understand their point of views, you became angrier than before. Ever since your brother was in high school, he had already been in the mafia and as for your husband, Jaehyun officially became apart of it when he almost graduated high school.

Not only were they able to keep this secret life from you for the past 10+ years, but the fact they also hide themselves for the past 5 years all because they were scared to face you when they were still injured just didn’t make sense to you.

“What the fuck do you mean that you were scared to face me?!” you shouted, standing up from the sofa, angry at both your brother and husband

“Flower, we wanted to back to you, I swear. We were just caught up with other things…” Johnny tried to reason. “We were both badly injured and barely able to process anything…”

“But you got back up. You could’ve come to me. Your friends could’ve said something. I want to understand you but I can’t. Do you know how hard it was when I found out I was pregnant but before I could tell either of you, I saw your car crash on the news. I almost lost my baby. I almost lost my son that day too if it weren’t for your mom coming over to visit me early in the morning” you rambled on, making both Johnny and Jaehyun even more guilty

“Does your mom even know, Jaehyun?” you asked but received no answer from him

“I’m leaving” you let out which made both Johnny and Jaehyun immediately stood up, blocking your way

“I mean I’m leaving this room and going back to see my son. I can’t be in the same room with either of you right now” I pointed out, about to head to the door but a hand grabbed my wrist and from the touch, I knew that it was Jaehyun

“(y/n)…dimple…” Jaehyun let out that nickname he used to call me those years ago

The nickname that he gave me because he would always mention how he consider me as his dimple because his dimple is a part of him and he would always consider me as a part of him. I believed it, until he disappeared and reappeared back.

“Don’t call me that, Jeong” I hissed back, tears were threatening to spill again

“I swear I wanted to come back to you. Both me and Johnny. Me especially. I know what we did was horrible towards you and I’m not asking you to forgive and accept us back immediately but I just hope…” Jaehyun sighed. “I hope that you would at least let me into Yuno’s life. Let me be the father and husband I should’ve been all those years that I was gone”

Immediately, you ripped your arm away from Jaehyun and looked at him with anger and frustration. “You both got badly injured during and needed a year to fully recover fine. Your friends/members not coming to tell me anything about you because it’s classified, fined. But not telling your own mother and letting her, me and our son to believe that you were dead is beyond me. I don’t need words, Jeong. Neither does Yuno. All we wanted was for you to be there but you weren’t. You’re basically 5 years too late”

“I know” Jaehyun let out a shaky breath. “I, we, didn’t mean to lie to you and not come back sooner. We wanted to tell you but we were just waiting for the right time because we wanted to protect you long enough until we weren’t heavily involved anymore”

“Protect? Protecting me from those who were against you or protecting yourself from what might happen if you had told me before you disappeared?” you sighed

“You know what hurts more? Not when I lost both of you and almost lost Yuno that day. But the fact that I can’t hate either of you. I want to hate you both but I can’t. Because I know what it feels like growing up without a parent figure. I tried so hard to be that parent figure for Yuno but I could never replace his dad” you said, making Jaehyun more hopeful

“Don’t think that I’ve forgiven either one of you just yet. But I’m not as cruel as you to not see Yuno or try to be the father and uncle he should’ve had since he was born” you opened the door, ready to go back to your son. “I’m saying that you both can try your best to come back to our lives, but I can’t guarantee that either one of us would accept you. You might be the father Jaehyun but I was the one that took care of him the past 5 years and from what you’ve seen, our son doesn’t even consider you his dad even when I’ve told him and showed him pictures of you. Good night, Jaehyun, Johnny”

You left both men to the quiet and chill room with the loud noise of their own thoughts and guilt.

Despite leaving both Jaehyun and Johnny on a bad note, the two accepted your anger and instead, hearing you let out your own emotion fueled them to try their best to do whatever it took to get both you and Yuno’s apology.

The next morning, right when you were about to leave and bring Yuno to daycare, both Jaehyun and Johnny were right in front of your door as you came out with your son.

“Geezus, can you guys not this early in the morning?!” you sighed as your son gripped your hand tighter

“Sorry. We didn’t want to disturb your morning so we waited out here. But we got some breakfast sandwiches for both of you and caramel latte for you” Jaehyun mentioned, handing you the bag which you accepted

“Thanks. If there isn’t anything else, I really need to go and take Yuno to daycare and I also need to go to work” you mentioned, about to walk past both men but they stopped you before you could take another step

“What is it this time?” you asked, raising your eyebrow

“Sorry lil sis, I don’t think you should be going to work anymore” Johnny said, making you scoff. “You might be my older brother but you don’t have the rights to tell me what I can or cannot do”

“Johnny’s right (y/n). Those men the other day know who you are. It would only take time before other people would find you or Yuno and neither me nor Johnny wants that to happen again” Jaehyun replied, looking at you with those damn worried eyes

“If I don’t work then how am I supposed to afford a living?” you argued, challenging both Johnny and Jaehyun

“We’re both here now. We’ll fund everything. Especially me. I’m going to fun for both you and Yuno. I want to be the father that Yuno deserves to have. You can push me or Johnny away as much as you want but we will still try to squeeze ourselves back into both of your lives” Jaehyun mentioned and hearing his tone, you know how stubborn Jaehyun is going to be

Sighing, you agreed to not go to work and let your boss know that you have to quit so suddenly because of a family issue.

“Fine. I won’t go to work. But I’m not going to let my…”

“Our son” Jaehyun mentioned, making you roll your eyes. “Our son not go to school” you finished your sentence while Jaehyun kneeled down to Yuno’s height

“Of course not. I’ll take him to school and wait until his school ends” Jaehyun mentioned, smiling at Yuno, his dimples showing

But when Jaehyun took his hand out, trying to convince Yuno to come with him, Yuno shook his head. “No. I want to go with mommy”

“Lil peach…your mommy and uncle need to have a chat and I want to get to know you more” Jaehyun tried to convince him but Yuno stood his ground, gripping onto your leg

“Hey, hey lil bud” you mumbled, kneeling to your son’s height, holding his small hands in yours. “What did mommy tell you before?”

“Give daddy a chance” both you and Yuno said at the same time, making Jaehyun want to tear up knowing that despite what he did, you still taught your son to give him a chance

“That’s right lil bud. What happened to mommy shouldn’t be the reason for you to not give your daddy a chance. Also, it’s a good way to know if he’s actually making an effort. Plus, mommy needs to talk to uncle Johnny, okay? When you come back, mommy is going to make your favourite food, braised beef with toppokki” you mentioned, Jaehyun almost choked on his saliva hearing his son’s favourite food being the same as his

“Okay mommy” Yuno mumbled, looking over at Jaehyun who still offered his hand and slowly grabbed it

“I promise that I’ll keep him safe” Jaehyun mentioned, standing back up, softly holding his son’s hand

“On scratch on his body or any drop of blood, I will end you, Jeong” you threatened, kissing your son’s cheek as he kissed yours before letting Jaehyun take your son to daycare

Jaehyun’s POV

On the way down to my car, Yuno didn’t say a word and even when we were in the elevator, out of (y/n) and Johnny’s sight, Yuno let go of my hand which confused me.

“Lil peach…” I let out but Yuno’s reply shocked me. “Yuno. That’s my name. Not lil peach. Only mommy gets to call me other names”

“Okay, Yuno. Can you tell me why you let go of my hand?” I asked as the elevator opened to the car park and I directed him to my car

“Because even though mommy says you’re my daddy, you’re not” Yuno mentioned, getting into the car without my help

After closing the door to Yuno’s side, I went into mine and saw that he already put his seatbelt on his own. “Damn, this kid is too smart for a 5-year-old,” I thought to myself as I drove off

“Why would you say that I’m not your daddy?” I asked

“Because you hurt mommy. You made mommy cry” Yuno mentioned. “You might be my daddy but if you hurt mommy, you’re not my daddy. Wait until I grow up and I will be the only guy that mommy needs”

“You should know that without me, you wouldn’t exist. You can try all you want but I will win your mom back and then let’s see who the guy will come out on top” I scoffed, disbelieved at my own son’s words to me

“You can try but you’re no one to mommy. You’re not related by blood unlike me. You don’t know mommy like I do. You don’t know how hard mommy tries to be strong to take care of me. You don’t know that mommy likes to talk about you. You don’t know that mommy talks nice things about you but to me, you still hurt mommy. Especially when you came back” Yuno mentioned, making me grip the steering wheel harder

“H-Has your mommy been seeing someone else? Another guy?” I asked, being selfish and hoping that (y/n) hadn’t seen anyone else

“No. Though lots of guys have been trying to talk to her but when I ask mommy, she always mentions you” Yuno admitted, making me sigh with relief

“I won’t leave you both again. Especially your mom. I love her so much that I want to come back and take care of her. And you” I mentioned, parking by the daycare, looking at Yuno

“Why are you looking at me?” Yuno asked

“Because I need your help” I mentioned

Your apartment - Your POV

After Jaehyun left with Yuno, Johnny wanted to immediately talk but I told him that I wanted to grab several things from my previous apartment. Johnny agreed and he drove us to my old apartment.

“What actually happened since you found out that we were involved in an accident?” Johnny asked, his voice sounded nervous as we walked into my apartment

“Lots of things happened, John. I almost lost Yuno. I had to sell our old house to have enough money to live for a year or so since both of your accounts sacred and I only had the joint account with Jaehyun but even that, somehow, the account was frozen so after Yuno turned 1, I had to look for a job since I didn’t want to burden Jaehyun’s parents who were both already at old age” I explained, recalling one of the most traumatic moments in my life

“I’m sorry sis. We both are, really” Johnny let out

“I was lucky Jaehyun’s parents were still around. We were all sad at what happened to both of you. Did Jaehyun ever go back to his parents?” I asked but Johnny shook his head

“He was scared. We both were. When Taeyong and the others couldn’t find us, they froze our accounts, everything linked to us. Of course not your or his parents’ personal accounts. That’s how your joint account was frozen” Johnny explained

“What could have possibly scared the two of you more than me and Jaehyun’s parents getting angry at both of you?” I questioned, about to blow a fuse at my confusing brother for his reasoning but Johnny sushed me

“What is it now, John…”I let out but we both hear unfamiliar voices

“I thought you said that you saw that clueless bitch and somehow alived brother walking past here just now” an unknown man stated, making you worry and looked at Johnny who looked pissed

“(y/n), go into your room” Johnny looked at me, his hand was by his waist and I could see him holding a gun. “Now”

I didn’t need to be told twice and rushed to my room, locking it and as I was about to get under my bed, I heard a loud gunshot followed by several grunts. Not wanting to listen to all the noise outside, I decided to call the only other person that could manage to calm me down.

“Hello? (Y/N)” Jaehyun’s voice was a bit taken aback that I called him

“Jae…” I let out

“Where are you? Where’s Johnny? What happened?” Jaehyun asked, his voice was worried

“I’m at my old apartment. Johnny…” I was about to reply but heard another gunshot. “Johnny’s outside, there are some people that I don’t know of”

“Dimple…I’m sorry that you have to go through this two days in a row but one things for sure, we won’t let you be alone anymore. Talk to me dimple, tell me how you’re feeling” Jaehyun replied

“How are you so calm? What if something happens to Johnny and…I can’t lose either one of you again” you replied back

“It’s part of our job, dimple and you’re not going to lose either one of us again. What happened 5 years ago is a one time only. It won’t happen again. Me and Johnny will make sure of it” Jaehyun ensured me

“How’s Yuno? Did he cause any problems for you?” I asked, trying to get my mind off what was happening outside

“No problems at all. He just told me some things, that’s all. You really taught him well, didn’t you. He even stood up against his own father for his mom” Jaehyun joked

“That’s because he didn’t know you like I did” I replied

“And how did you know me, hmm?” Jaehyun teased, making me roll my eyes

Luckily, before I have to reply him, I heard Johnny called out to me. “(y/n)? Are you alright in there?”

“Johnny’s calling. I’ll um talk to you later then Jae. Don’t forget about Yuno” I told him but heard giggling. “Don’t worry about him. Go, Johnny’s going to get worried”

Turning off the call, I opened the door and saw Johnny who looked a bit tired but relieved. Immediately, I hugged him as he hugged back. “I’m okay, don’t worry about me. You’re okay, right?”

“I’m okay. W-what happened out there?” I asked but Johnny shook his head

“Nothing you should worry about. Come on. I’ll help you grab the things you need and we can head back” Johnny mentioned

It didn’t take long to take almost all the things because apparently, Johnny had called some of his friends to come and help us bring some of mine and Yuno’s things back to the penthouse.

Arriving back at the penthouse, Johnny and his friends helped me unpack some of my things and during the tidying up, we heard a ring to the door and Johnny opened it to let Jaehyun and Yuno in. Yuno immediately went up to me and I hugged him.

“Did you have a good day today?” I asked as Yuno nodded and took something out of his backpack, which was a drawing

“My teacher told us to draw something that makes us happy and I draw you being happy even if it’s with daddy and uncle” Yuno mentioned and I looked at the drawing he did

It was a simple kids drawing but knowing our history, it meant a lot that Yuno somehow is slowly accepting both Jaehyun and Johnny in his life even though they have been absent in both our lives for the past 5 years.

Sometime during the rest of the day, you and Jaehyun decided to cook together and after dinner, the two of you were doing the dishes together; reminiscing the times you both were in college and cooking in the small tiny dorms whilst Johnny and Yuno were getting to know each other.

“How did you manage to get Yuno to talk to you and actually like you?” you asked, waiting for the water to boil as Jaehyun was leaning on the counter after washing some of the dishes

“I wouldn’t say that he has completely accepted me but we managed to talk. He’s very smart for a 5-year-old” Jaehyun mentioned

“I know. I worry about him. I don’t want him to mature quickly just because of the situation. I want him to have a normal childhood where he’s loved and can have fun for as long as he can” you mentioned, looking over at Yuno who was actually having fun with Johnny

“(Y/N)” Jaehyun called out to me, making me look at him as he grabbed my hands in his; an act that he always did whenever he wanted to talk about something serious

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for both of you the past 5 years. I’m sorry I was a coward for not going back to both of you sooner and I’m sorry that I can’t turn back time to change all that because I know I would do anything to go back and be with the both of you. Especially you. I should’ve been there to take care of you. I should’ve been there to protect you. I should’ve been there to feel the pain you’ve felt because it was nothing compared to mine” Jaehyun mentioned, kissing the top of your hands, another habit that he likes to do to calm your nerves

“Jae…” you breathed out but Jaehyun didn’t let you continue. “Would you allow me and Johnny back? I know that it’s going to take a lot more to make up for the times we’ve lost but I’m willing to do anything for the both of you and…”

Kiss This time, you were the one that didn’t let Jaehyun continue and landed a soft kiss on his cheek, whilst caressing his jawline with one of your hands.

“You know that I hate all the bullshit talk. You might as well show me how sorry you are” you challenged Jaehyun who felt a sense of relief wash over him

But before you and Jaehyun could continue anything, both Johnny and Yuno came up to both of you. “Umm, sorry to disturb but I’m gonna take the lil guy back to my place” Johnny mentioned and Jaehyun was internally screaming thank you because he finally got to have some alone time with you after 5 years

“Do you need anything or any snacks bub?” you asked your son who just shook his head

“I’m okay, mommy. I wanna play some games with uncle Johnny!” Yuno exclaimed, making you giggle

“Alright. But don’t stay up too late. Go grab your pyjamas and backpack. Johnny, I trust you won’t be irresponsible. He has school tomorrow” you mentioned, looking up at your brother who just shrugged whilst your son rushed to his room

“I won’t. But I’m not so sure about you both so that’s why I’m offering to take care of the lil guy while you both sort things out together” Johnny snickered making you smack his arm while your son comes back, already wearing his backpack

“Bye mommy!!” your son greeted you as you went down to his height and he kissed you on your cheeks

“You behave alright. Don’t trouble uncle Johnny” you reminded as he smiled

“I promise don’t worry” your son replied and he went towards Jaehyun who also kneeled to his height. “Don’t make mommy cry!”

“I won’t lil peach. If she cries it’s because of a movie or something else” Jaehyun mentioned, making you smack his head. “You see. Your mom will kill me before I hurt her anyways”

Shaking his head, your son went over back to you and hugged you before going to grab Johnny’s hands, the two bidding both of you and Jaehyun goodbye.

“I should really get you and him to have more father and son outings before he really rebels against you” you mumbled while Jaehyun went behind you, snaking his arms around your waist, letting his head rest on the crook of your neck, giving it light kisses

“It’s alright. You’ve taught him well enough. He’s looking out for his mom anyways” Jaehyun murmured, sucking on your skin, making you moan as you let your head fall back

“I’ll teach him more though. If you’ll let me. I know that you’re worried but I’m more worried if something were to happen to both of you and I wasn’t around” Jaehyun sighed but you turned around, your hands wrapped around his neck

“I trust you Jae. You maybe a dick for leaving us for 5 years but you promise to make up for it. Then do it. Make up for your lost time with us. Treat us how you’re supposed to treat us those psat 5 years” you challenged him again

Without warning, Jaehyun lifted you up, forcing your legs to wrapped around his waist as he turned you around, making your back hit the wall as he captured your lips to his; one of his hand cupped your jaw, deepening the kiss between you.

When the two of you pull away and looked at each other, the two of you giggle just like when you were in college, sneaking around to make out with each other.

“Shall we continue it here or do you want the bed?” Jaehyun asked but you kissed him instead

“Anywhere Jeong. Just proof to me that you’re not leaving us again. I can’t deal with another loss” you cried but Jaehyun quickly shushed you

“You won’t. I’m promise. I came back for both of you and I’m staying for both of you. I’m sorry, dimple. I’ve missed you too. I’ve missed you so fucking much” Jaehyun kissed your temple, each of your eyes, the tip of your nose and then your lips

Each kiss makes you bring him closer to you as you cried on his chest while he cradles your body. “It’s okay. Let it out” Jaehyun knows that he can make up for all the intimate and sexual needs later and what’s important is to make sure is to tend your needs. Whatever you want or need, Jaehyun will do it.

When you finally relaxed in Jaehyun’s arms, you looked at him again with glossy eyes but to Jaehyun, you’re just as adorable as he remembers. Smiling and flashing his dimples, Jaehyun leaned down to give a softer kiss to your lips but you were the one that craved more.

“Someone’s eager. Bed?” Jaehyun asked but all you could do was nod

Immediately, Jaehyun carried you bridal style just as he did the night of your wedding when Jaehyun carried you to your bedroom.

Because of your motherly sense, you woke up earlier than you would have liked and went to the kitchen, slowly removing Jaehyun’s big arms. When you got to kitchen to make breakfast and check your phone, Johnny already texted you that he already took your son to kindergarten and told you to just rest.

Johnny: I took the kid to kindergarten already. We got some breakfast sandwich along the way and I’m gonna wait for him. You have fun with Jae ;)

You smile as you read the text, not realising that Jaehyun was eyeing you from the corner until you turned to see him leaning towards the wall with only his sweatpants, his chest was still bare from last night’s activities.

“Geezus. Can’t you at least knock. You’re going to make me have a heart attack” you exclaimed, making Jaehyun chuckle as he went next to you, kissing the side of your temple before backhugging you as you attempt to make breakfast

“I wouldn’t dream of it” Jaehyun murmured

The two of you just enjoyed each other’s company whilst making breakfast together until Jaehyun asked you a question that he wanted to ask. “Dimple” Jaehyun called out, making you look at him

“Why didn’t you get mad at me? Why didn’t you make me suffer more and longer? I deserved it you know. 5 years is a long time and not to mention for 9 months you were pregnant and had to raise Yuno on your own with my parents for the next few years. You could’ve made me beg for the next 5 years but you didn’t, why?” Jaehyun asked, making you blink a few times before going to stand in front of him, cupping his jaw in your small hands

“I’m disappointed. Not angry. There’s a difference. I’m still disappointed in you and Johnny but I know that there’s no point in staying angry for too long. Yes, I still don’t fully understand the world you guys are in but I know that it’s not easy at all and you both tried your best to take care of me and Yuno however you can. Let me ask you back. When Yuno turned 3 and I received an email from the bank that our joint account was not frozen anymore, it was you, wasn’t it? When I was struggling to pay the bills and suddenly the landlord said it was all cleared for the next year, it was you, right? When Yuno was sick and there was medicine in the mail, it was from you, wsn’t it?” you asked, and Jaehyun held your hand, rubbing it

“I was a coward. I helped you but I didn’t have the strength to face you. You should hate me” Jaehyun mentioned

“But I don’t because I know that when it comes to family, you would never forget us no matter what. I’m still hurt and need reassurance but I want us to be a family again. Only if you promise to be better” you replied and Jaehyun immediately kisses you

Pulling away for a moment, Jaehyun caresses your face and lets his forehead rest on yours as both your noses touch each other. “I fucking love you, you know that? I promise I’ll be better for you and Yuno. I’m officially back for both of you”

[slytherinstories]

Resisting You PT.5

Description: Mattheo Riddle a known player and flirt has his sights on you. You two couldn't be more opposite: him only wanting casual flings and you wanting a relationship. You end up in a situationship but what will it take for him to admit his feelings and give you what you want?

Check out my masterlist for the other parts!

18+, Smut, Fluff, Angst

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You don’t know what you would call you and Mattheo at this point. A situationship? Certainly not boyfriend and girlfriend according to him even though you can’t understand the difference in the way he acts anyway. His words say one thing but his actions another. You are casual, friends with benefits yet it doesn’t feel like that when you spend every night wrapped in his arms. He likes to pretend it is just sex, that you are the only one that wants something more but his actions leave your mind cloudy and confused.

He doesn’t even talk to other girls. Your one rule was no sleeping with others whilst with you. He happily agreed claiming he didn’t want anyone else anyway that he couldn’t get enough of you. You still expected him to carry on his usual flirty ways but to your surprise it seems like you are his sole focus. You have to give it to him that he was right, he didn’t just drop you as soon as you had sex. It seems like there is more in it for him and you know your feelings aren’t one sided which makes the situation even more complicated. You kind of wish he just wanted you for your body at least you could move on and make peace. But anytime he acts in those loving ways, those intimate moments of gentleness it creates a flicker of hope that shouldn’t be there. You tried to bury any feelings, coming to the terms it can just be a fling yet his contradicting ways lead you on without him even meaning to.

The problem is he is your worst addiction. You know you can’t let go of him. Even though your heart is starting to check out and those feelings are becoming lost in the haze of desire your body craves him in an entirely different way. You want to overlook your sexual needs but the intensity of what you have takes you back every time. But you have vowed to let go of your attachment, your slytherin self preservation kicking in. You have spent so many nights crying about your crushed dreams of love to the point you no longer want anything more from him. He can’t give you what you need, he will never live up to what you thought you could be together. Acceptance is a sobering feeling but freeing. It grounds you, brings you down from the intoxicating realm of possibilities and obsession. The facts are there it will only ever be sex and he can only fulfill you in one way. But you aren’t ready to let go of that just yet.

It only hurts your heart when he acts tender and affectionate, showing you who he could be if he let himself love. You don’t want to live on empty promises, giving your heart to someone who will never take action on their feelings. So you push him away, stop giving that part of you to him and reserve it for someone who can love you. When you need him to make you feel good you go to him but aside from that you spend as little time as possible with him, losing your friendship in the process but protecting yourself from falling too deep.

Mattheo notices the changes in you as you went from the girl that was bright eyed and always smiling at him to someone that directed that attention to others, not giving him the time of day. He can’t stand you no longer watching him, always looking for him in a room. He misses the girl who reflected back to him a version of himself he had never been able to see. The one who wanted to be around him, that loved his presence, who was always trying to spend time together. He claimed to only want sex but when you gave him that, removing your feelings and the part of you only meant for a relationship it felt like a slap to his face. You satisfied him physically but now the yearning for more is unbearable.

He awoken your sexual nature, the part of you that could crave someone physically whereas you awoken his desire for something deeper. The roles have completely reversed as you accept the small piece of himself he offers but he can’t stand only having your body. He wants your mind, soul and heart. You gave him it all and decided to pull it away but he now sees reality is dull and meaningless without the full wholeness of you are. The strength in you arises as you realise he wants you to give all of yourself to him whilst he reserves his heart behind a wall of impenetrable armour.

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‘Hey’

You look up from your work to see Mattheo and go back to it ‘Hi, here to study?’

‘Hmm’ he says sitting next to you playing with your skirt ‘Not really what I had in mind.’

You just push his hand away and continue writing ‘I am not really in the mood I need to finish this essay as well.’ He doesn’t reply but just sits there for awhile watching you. ‘Do you need something?’ You raise your eyebrows.

He just looks at you a slight furrow in his brows ‘do you…’ he scratches the back of his neck ‘we don’t have to do anything why don’t you come to my dorm and chill I’ve not seen you much.’

‘Not tonight Mattheo I’m really busy and I promised pansy I would catch up with her.’

He just nods his head and you notice a deflated look on his face. ‘You okay feel like your avoiding me?’ He says chucking a little.

‘I’m fine like I said I haven’t been in the mood, it’s only been two days though surely you don’t need me that much’ You say going back to reading your book not wanting to see his reaction.

‘It’s not about that… you just’ you glance over at him and he clenches his jaw then sighs ‘yeah fine whatever.’ He stands up walking off leaving you to your books and a sense of guilt runs through you. You hate this but he hasn’t gave you any choice. He can’t keep saying he only wants sex then asks you to hang out, does he want you to get more attached?

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For the next couple of days you don’t see him much but when ovulation week comes around things change very quickly. Desire consumes your body again, pulling you to him like a moth to a flame. He is always attractive but now you can’t stop the craving every time you see him. Lessons fall by and you are by his side yet again, flirting and quite shamelessly staring. He senses the shift in your demeanour, glad you are back to him but there is still a part of you missing.

You drag him to his dorm not even giving him a chance to talk ‘I need you. Now.’ He is usually the one in control, devouring you like an animal. He is stunned quite frankly, he knows how you desire him but you never show the need you are in this moment. You push him down onto the couch kissing down his neck as you grind into him.

‘Y/N he groans as you grind into him ‘I want to talk to you.’

You ignore him ‘Shhh Matty after.’ His barely existing resistance crumbles in an instance unable to resist you, reminding himself to talk to you after. You feel how hard he is under you so you stand up taking your nickers off and his pants before straddling him again. No time for foreplay, no time for stripping you are straight back with him quickly inside you. You rip his shirt off wanting to feel his muscles. Your moans fill the room as he holds onto your waist gobsmacked . You forget he is even there to be honest, riding yourself into bliss and clinging onto his hair. You hear him groaning throwing his head back giving you the perfect opportunity to leave little bites across his neck. ‘That’s it baby ride my dick, does that feel good?’

‘Mhmm’ you say as you feel the orgasm building in you. ‘Fuck you are so hot’ he says squeezing your ass, his hands under your skirt. Before you know it you are finishing, twitching on his lap as your head rests in his neck, hands entangled in his curls. He clearly looses the weak restraint he has because when you finish he lifts your hips pounding into you from below, clearly reaching his orgasm. He finishes and groans head back and eyes closed as you stroke his face. When he comes back to reality you smirk at his state and his hooded eyes. You lift yourself off him putting your nickers back on and trying to fix your appearance as he cleans himself up putting his boxers back on.

‘Thanks Matty’ you place a small kiss on his lips before going to leave the room but you are stopped by him grabbing your waist. ‘Where are you going?’ His brows furrow. ‘Back to my dorm.’

‘Like fuck you are, you aren’t staying?’ He questions. You shake your head ‘I need to stop making a habit of sleeping here you’re not my boyfriend.’

You look like you have just slapped him and his gaze turns dark. ‘What the fuck is wrong with you don’t talk to me all week, come and fuck me and leave.’ He says his voice still calm but anger lacing every word. You ignore him just staring into his eyes ‘so the only time you want to speak to me is when you want my dick?’

‘Well what else do you expect we are just sleeping with each other right?’

He lets go of your wrist looking at you like you are a different person. ‘It’s never been like this before, have I done something?’

You sigh ‘No Mattheo I just think we need to stop pretending it’s something more than it is. You fucking act like we are in a relationship when you love making it clear we are only friends with benefits or whatever you want to call it.’

‘How the fuck do I act like we are in a relationship?’ His voice starts raising now.

‘Seriously! This isn’t how people who are casual act if you only want me for my body that’s fine but act like it!’

‘Well you never used to have a problem with it you have slept here near enough every night and now you can’t?’

‘Answer this then has any other girl you have fucked stayed the night, did you let other girls you were casual with stay and cuddle?’

The answer is clearly written over his face as he clenches his jaw and looks away ‘yeah I thought so.’

‘That means nothing.’

‘Oh I think it does do you usually try and spend time with people you are sleeping with or do you only want to see them when your dick is hard!’ You say on the verge of shouting. ‘So why the fuck am I any different if this is only about the sex why?’

‘We were friends first obviously I am going to hang out with you are you forgetting we are in the same group.’

‘So that’s it then? The only reason is because we are friends that fuck each other?’

He steps forward dangerously close to you and near enough whispers ‘you know that isn’t all this is stop being stupid.’

‘Don’t call me stupid because you are a headfuck.’ You try to push him but he barely moves an inch. Tears are threatening to fill your eyes so you try your best to compose yourself.

‘I told you from the start what this is don’t act like I am leading you on.’ He says grabbing your wrists so you don’t push him again.

‘Ughhh you don’t make any sense. So it’s not just about the sex that means you clearly have feelings but yet you expect me to just carry on like this?’

He walks away holding his fists to his temples face scrunched up. ‘Why the fuck are you making this so difficult we have been doing fine.’

You sigh trying to calm yourself down ‘it’s either just sex Matt or I need more I can’t do it anymore it hurts too much.’

He just looks at you pain filling his eyes and you carry on ‘it feels like you are leading me on. I know you will never be in a relationship, that we can never have that but the way you treat me gives me stupid hope that shouldn’t be there.’

‘So what you want me to act like I don’t fucking care? You want me to treat you like a slut is that it, fuck and use you like any other girl?’ He says towering over you again. The tears fill your eyes now and you look away biting your cheek not wanting to let him see you cry.

‘It’s my fault I should have never started this.’ You pull away and grab your bag ready to leave. ‘So what that’s it? Don’t act like you won’t come crawling back when you want me to make you feel good.’

You stop at the door at his words and turn around to face him glaring ‘you might have my body, but I am never giving you my heart again.’ You turn away and slam the door before he gets a chance to finish.

Walking to your dorm tears run down your face, Theo sees you and shouts you in the common room but you walk past quickly trying to cover yourself and ignore him. You slump into the floor crying the second your door locks. How did things get this messy. You don’t even know what you want from him because he is right. If he treats you like it’s just sex you will feel like an object, if he treats you like he has feelings that hurts just the same. He can never give you more and you feel stuck in a limbo between not being able to leave but not wanting to stay. You know that was a cruel thing to say but can he not see how much it hurts the fact you offered yourself on a silver platter and it still weren’t enough to make him want you?

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Nothing has been resolved, you both have refused to talk to the other. You avoid him at every chance not wanting to even think about the complex feelings neither of you can figure out. This time you aren’t giving him the satisfaction of seeing you sad he needs to know that you are serious about wanting more for yourself so he can let you go or confront his feelings.

You are sat in the courtyard in a world of your own when someone’s voice pulls you out of your head. You look over to see who said your name and there is stood Cormac.

‘Oh hey Cormac! How are you I’ve not seen you in awhile.’

‘I’m good thanks and same here feel like you have been impossible to catch’ he laughs sitting on the bench next to you.

You sigh ‘yeah I’ve been busy and a bit stressed to be honest.’

‘Everything okay though?’

You just nod and give your best fake smile ‘yeah everything’s good what have you been up to anyway.’

‘Not much mainly quidditch Harry has been on our case for the upcoming match and then with studying I barely have any time.’

You laugh ‘yeah I bet it takes up a lot of your time.’

‘So what are you up to tomorrow?’

‘Erm nothing I don’t think me and pansy were going Hogsmeade but she has a date so I guess not.’

‘Well I also happen to be free for once what would you say about going to get that coffee?’

‘Oh my gosh I forgot about that I’m so sorry but I would love to after all I owe you!’

‘Yeah but I only want you to come if you want to not because of the drinks I weren’t really bothered anyway.’

‘No no don’t be silly I want to go it will be nice to talk to a new face.’

‘Great I know you said it’s not a date but I personally think it should be after all a beautiful lady like you deserves to be taken out.’

You just laugh softly trying not to blush at his words ‘I don’t know I don’t usually classify getting to know someone a date to be honest but we can just see how it goes!’

He gives you a little smile ‘okay okay whatever you want to call it my treat though yeah?’

You nod your head and sort out where you are meeting him. ‘I’m looking forward to it I’ve been waiting to take you out.’ You just laugh and shake your head ‘bye Cormac see you tomorrow.’ You say your goodbyes and sit smiling to yourself he is actually quite charming.

You decide not to tell anyone about meeting Cormac you pretend that you shouldn’t care about Mattheo’s reaction after all he has no right to say you can’t date if he won’t commit to you but there is a part of you that knows it’s not a good idea. You tell Pansy but hope none of the boys find out.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

You see Cormac waiting at the bridge and decide to give him a little fright as he is facing the other way. You walk over and grab his arm ‘RAA’ which causes him to jump. You throw your head back in laughter at his reaction holding onto his arm ‘Jesus Y/N you almost gave me a heart attack’ he smiles at your laughter. You collect yourself ‘sorry couldn’t help myself.’

‘How are you this morning then?’

‘Very good excited to see where you take me I’ve not tried any cafes here yet.’

‘Wait seriously! You are in for a treat then.’ The walk there was very pleasant you thought you would have less in common considering he is a Gryffindor. He is nicer than others make him out to be and you quite enjoy his company. You have always seen him as a sweet person though beneath his flirty persona, there isn’t that magnetic attraction you had with Mattheo but this is a nice calm feeling.

You find your seat and order talking about everything under the sun. You venture into the topic of dating and actually have a very insightful conversation.

‘Yeah I am the same I have never been fussed on flings I just knew I always wanted a relationship I think it’s hard to find people with the same values though.’

‘Omg yes I am the exact same! I think I lost hope for awhile to be honest but I have always wanted the fairytale type of love, cringe I know.’ You laugh but he doesn’t and looks at you intently.

‘I don’t think that’s cringe you deserve to be treated like that.’ You smile at him softly ‘your really kind Cormac I don’t know why I didn’t do this sooner.’

‘What did you not think I was nice’ he laughs playfully.

‘No it’s not that I just… I don’t know I’m not going to lie I didn’t think you were really serious the first few times you asked me you know what boys in school can be like.’

‘Yeah I get that I think I do give of the wrong impression to people I am just a big lover at heart though.’

‘I can see that I think we are very similar.’

‘Y/N I don’t want to pry but can I ask you something?’

‘Yeah sure what is it?’

‘Are you and Mattheo dating I just see you together sometimes and he near enough kills anyone that even mentions you.’

You swallow your mood instantly sobering at his name. ‘We aren’t together no but I have had a bit of a situation with him things are kind of off at the minute though.’

‘What happened.’

You look at him for a minute and decide to open up as you decide he is genuine ‘It’s all very confusing it is my own fault for giving it a chance but he basically doesn’t do commitment and I thought I was ok with that for awhile but I don’t think I can do it anymore and he isn’t willing to give what I want so…’

‘You should never have to settle. If you want to be in a relationship you deserve to be in one with someone who feels the same.’

You nod ‘I’m not going to lie I do or did really like him but I just don’t think he will ever give it a chance. Sorry Cormac I don’t want to bore you with my drama.’

‘Don’t be silly if you need to talk about something I’m here whatever it is. I’ll admit I’m not thrilled you like him when he isn’t treating you how you deserve but as long as you are happy.’

‘So what about you ever been in a relationship?’

‘No not yet still trying to find my lady.’

‘I am sure you will there is someone for everyone or that’s what I like to believe anyway, and a girl would be lucky to have you’ I give him a genuine smile. We talk for a bit longer and leave, walking back to the castle.

‘I have had a really good time thank you for the drink.’

‘So did it tick your boxes enough to have another date or…?’

You turn to him and say ‘honestly Cormac you are lovely and I really did enjoy your company but I don’t even think I’m able to think about dating. But I would love to be friends for now and maybe see where things go?’

‘Sure Y/N whatever is best for you, I am here though if you ever decide you want something real.’

You give him a hug and walk your separate ways as you enter the common room. You see Theo, Mattheo sitting on two sofas, the former shouts you over. ‘Hey’ you sit on the edge of the couch.

Mattheo looks you up and down his eyes darkening. You look down at your outfit consisting of tights a skirt and boots and you feel insecure all of a sudden. ‘Where have you been.’

‘For coffee. Have you seen Pansy Theo?

‘Yeah she literally just went to her room to get something she should be back any minute.’

‘With who?’ He buts in still trying to interrogate you. ‘Speak of the devil here she is.’

You turn around and see her walking over and she smiles brightly when she sees you putting her book on the table ‘omg hey how was it tell me everything’ she squeezes your arm. You ideally didn’t want to have this conversation here but it will make it even worse if you avoid him.

‘Honestly it was really nice he’s so sweet not what he seems at all.’

‘Ahhh so cute do you like him?’

‘I dont know yet I said let’s just be friends for now and see how it goes but I think I needed it he reminded me how I want to be treated.’ You have to get a little dig in there.

‘Hey he’s not that bad looking either is he have you seen him playing quidditch?’

‘Yeah he is quite handsome I was just surprised how deep he was to be honest we actually had a really good talk.’

‘Who the fuck are you on about?’

Pansy and Theo exchange a glance and you swallow ‘Cormac I… went for coffee with him like I promised.’ Jesus if looks could kill then you would be dead right now. He rolls his tongue on the inside of his cheek a murderous look in his eyes. You need to escape this room right now.

‘I told you you weren’t going.’

‘Are we in a relationship? No we aren’t and who is that thanks to? So don’t try and tell me what to do just fucking leave me alone’ you grab your bag and storm of to your room. You rip of your coat and scarf ,everything suddenly being too hot and confining. You sit on your bed trying to take deep breaths to clear your mind but rage just fills it every time you think of him. Who does he think he is!!

The door swings open and you jump out of your skin as he slams it shut and storms over to you grabbing you off the bed ‘I told you. You. Are. Mine.’

‘And I told you I’m not you can’t have me and put no fucking effort in.’

‘So you think you can just fuck me and go on dates with Cormac?’

‘It’s not like that I went as friends but even if it was I have every right to like you said we will never be in a relationship!’

‘I highly doubt that he’s been trying to worm his way into your nickers since you first moved here.’

‘You fucking dick is that all you think it is? I’ll actually have you know he is nice and respectful and actually wants to date me maybe I should start seeing him.’

‘You wouldn’t fucking dare I would kill him with my bare hands.’

‘Touch him and you are dead to me I swear to god Mattheo I will never speak to you again don’t underestimate me.’

You stand there glaring at each other breathing heavily the tension almost choking you. You sigh and decide to try and diffuse things ‘do you know how nice it was for someone to actually want to treat me well, to want to put effort in to have me?’

He looks away, anywhere but my face. ‘If you don’t want to treat me how I deserve then I will find someone that does.’ You turn to walk away and feel his hand grab your wrist before he pulls you in for a kiss. It’s full of longing, desperation, pain. It turns more and more passionate until you are clinging onto each other not wanting to face reality when you separate. If only if it was this simple.

You eventually stop kissing foreheads pressed against each other. Mattheo is the first to speak but his words are barely audible ‘please don’t leave me.’ You pull away mostly from shock and look into his eyes filled with desperation.

How are you meant to walk away when he is looking at you with those beautiful Bambi eyes. How are you meant to put yourself first when you love him more than your own heart. Fuck. Love?

‘Matt’ you bring your hand brushing his curls away and you have never seen him look more vulnerable and it tears your heart in two. ‘You can’t just ask that of me I only want you, you know that but you are giving me no choice. If we are going to keep going in circles I need to move on and you need to let go. I need to find someone who wants what I want.’

‘Fuck I do I just can’t Y/N you don’t understand!’ He has one hand on your waist and one on the side of your neck. He is clinging to you like he is scared you are going to run, hoping if he can hold on tight enough you won’t leave him.

‘Help me then, help me understand Mattheo what is it your so scared of?’

‘I don’t know how to be what you want but I don’t want to loose you I can’t, you make me feel things that… fuck what are you doing to me’ he whispers looking at the floor. You can see him trying to admit his feelings, trying to be open but the defensiveness and walls always come back.

You stroke his face dying to console his vulnerable state ‘Matt I think you put too much pressure on it you have already treated me so good I just need more, I want all of you. You are the one pushing things away. Look how we have been the past few weeks is that really any different to a relationship?’ You ask laughing softly trying to diffuse the tension.

‘I don’t need you to be perfect I like you as you are I just need you to try. I know how good we could be and I know you feel this too.’

He swallows staring deeply into your eyes ‘what if I hurt you, what if I’m not good enough…’

You interrupt his train of thoughts ‘I trust you Mattheo I know you won’t I can see you have a good heart.’

‘Why do you even want to be with me?’ His walls are starting to crumble and you can see his insecurities finally being expressed. It’s like he is giving you every reason to run. Deep down he knows he much he cares about you and he can’t fathom the thought of hurting you. He wants better for you even though he can’t let go, he can’t come to terms with the fact you choose him.

Without thinking you blurt out ‘Because I…’ you stop yourself slamming your jaw shut, your eyes full of fear that you nearly slipped up. You don’t want to admit those feelings to yourself never mind him out of fear it will push him away more. You try to recover ‘I like you Matt I have never felt like this for someone. I want every part of you even the ones you think you have to hide from me. I choose you why can’t you accept that.’

He closes his eyes breathing in deeply trying to get ahold of his feelings. Here you are, his dream girl everything he has always wanted without even realising it. For so long he didn’t even let himself dream of this possibility and the fact you are here constricts his chest. Never has someone elicited such deep emotions in him and that is what he was always scared of. But the feelings are already there right? He has already come to terms with them, he fell for you despite every defence mechanism he built so he wouldn’t. He knows you are right that you crossed the line of being casual a long time ago so what is he still afraid of?

He pulls you in for a hug, face nuzzling into your neck he breathes in deeply. You stand there for what feels like eternity him not wanting to let go but he eventually pulls back his hands stroking your face. He doesn’t know how to convey the depth of what is bursting inside his heart he has never been good at communicating like you. ‘Your right love I… I know I want more I want every part of you I don’t know why I thought it could ever be less than that. I think was just trying to convince myself but… I’ve never done this before what if I can’t be who you need?’

You smile at him softly ‘Baby steps matt this is new for us both and I know things won’t change overnight but like I said I just want you to try I will be here for you. I’m not asking for the world or you to be perfect I just want you. All of you. I want you to be mine as well.’

He stares at you for a minute before a soft grin spreads across his face ‘okay’ he says nearly whispering. Your face beams and you look up at him smiling ‘okay?’ He nods his head ‘I’ll try for you, I’m not loosing you I’ll be whoever you want me to be.’

He looks down at your smile and it’s the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. He would do it all again, face every fear he has just to see you look so happy. You wrap your arms around his neck your excitement taking over you and pull back placing a kiss on his lips. He smiles into your mouth both of your grins shining brighter than a thousand suns.

He picks you up causing you to squeal and he throws you on the bed instantly kissing down your body. ‘How lucky am I, so perfect.’ He says as he starts removing your clothes. You feel his bites on your neck deepening enough to leave marks ‘Matt don’t leave hickeys everyone will see.’

‘Mhm that’s exactly my plan love I need everyone to know who you belong to.’

He continues his attack all over you peppering kisses like it’s the last time he will see you. He gets down in between your legs and you can’t wait any longer so you pull him towards you by his shirt kissing him once again. ‘Not today I need you now.’

‘So greedy.’ You become a tangle of limbs and when he finally enters you, you sigh in relief feeling this is exactly where you are meant to be. You meld together becoming one, a sensation encompassing your body far stronger than an orgasm. The desperation in both of your eyes conveys all the words unsaid.

‘You are mine, I am never letting go of you now. Say it.’

‘I’m yours Matt all yours every piece of me.’ Your words send him over the edge as he drives into you deeper.

‘No one else can make you feel like this, you think Cormac could make you feel this good?’

You can’t talk, can’t think straight with the sensation pooling in your lower stomach. You hear his words in a different world as your eyes remain closed. You feel a hand grasp your neck pulling your face towards him and useless moans fall out of your mouth. You open your hooded eyes to see him smirking down at you still pounding deep inside you. ‘Answer me’ he says in that dominating voice ‘I…’ you choke out forgetting what he asked. He chuckles ‘fucking you too good baby? I said can cormac make you feel this good?’

‘No’ you choke out ‘fuck’ you breathe ‘no one can just…’ you moan as he hits spots no one has before ‘just you.’

‘Mhm what I thought. You’re all fucking mine’ he presses himself into your neck ‘and I’m all yours.’ That’s it you are sent over the edge but so is he. Magically you both cum at the same time clinging onto each other, riding through your bliss. When you finally pull away and look into his eyes you see the same emotion that’s swimming through you. He presses a kiss to your forehead ‘I have never fucking came like that.’

He cleans you both up with his wand and pulls you onto his chest as you lie there for what feels like hours, words not able to convey all you want to say. Has hand moves up and down your waist ‘that was something else you feeling okay.’ You pull your head of his chest and look up into his eyes a soft smile on your lips and nod your head. He mirrors you and strokes back your hair. ‘My girl.’ You bite your lip and giggle at his words that cause a flutter in your chest.

You pull back and sit against the headboard pulling the blanket around you and he mirrors you. He pulls your legs over so they are touching his like he can’t bare to not have his hands on you. ‘So I know you want to try but where do we go from here are we dating or…?’

He smiles softly at you ‘whatever you want as long as you are mine.’

You nod and straighten yourself up trying to act serious and firm so you can set some real boundaries. He has a little smirk at you trying to act tough but doesn’t say anything ‘okay but I want to do things right this time if you want me then I need you to show it.’

‘Go on.’

‘Well I think we should date first, you know properly get to know each other.’

‘I think we are a bit past dating love’ he laughs but you furrow your brows angrily. He raises his hands ‘okay okay sorry we can date’ he scratches his neck insecurely ‘erm what does that even mean though?’

You laugh at him ‘have you ever been on a date or took a girl out?’ He shakes his head at you ‘not really you know how I was.’

‘Right okay I want things to be different though if you want all of me you have to earn it this time.’ You cross your arms trying to sound as tough as possible even though he knows you are wrapped around his finger. He just nods his head agreeing with everything even though he has that stupid smug smile.

‘When I went with Cormac I just realised how nice it would be to be in a relationship and have someone want to treat me…’ you stop looking at the dark look that crosses his face. ‘Don’t fucking mention his name.’

‘Sorry but I do want that Matt you know what a real couple does, go on dates, do things together…’ his expression softens and he interlaces your fingers.

‘And I need you to open up to me it’s not fair you ask for every part of me but keep so much hidden I know it’s hard but I will help you.’ He nods again ‘promise me something then.’

‘Anything’ you say. ‘Just don’t give up on me, don’t let me push you away I know I can be a dick sometimes just… give me a chance to try, I might not be perfect but I am going to show you how much you mean to me.’

You smile at a loss for words at the boy sat in front of you. If you were told this would happen going into it you would have never believed it. You sigh a breathe of relief that he is listening to your boundaries and for the first time you feel excited for your future together.

[sakuraaachan]

REQUESTED - Trapped In-between - Izuku M.

Could you do something along the lines of getting trapped in a small space like a glass box or a dark concrete room, literally anything after a villain used their quirk on us while fighting as heroes.

Requested by - Anon

I hope you enjoy! Thank you for requesting!

Izuku Midoriya x Reader

Word Count: 3896

Rating: NSFW | Smut | Confined Space | All charactered are depicted as 18+

Wanna submit a request? Click here

This is the full version of the story!

Ever since you were a child, you had an unwavering longing to be a hero. 

While many of your classmates played games and daydreamed about ordinary lives, you immersed yourself in stories of courageous individuals saving the day. Deep within you, you knew you were destined for something greater, something that would make a difference in the world.

To achieve your dream, you dedicated yourself to both your studies and physical training. You scored top grades in class, always pushing the limits of your capabilities. You hit the gym regularly, honing your strength and agility. Every spare moment was spent preparing yourself for the challenges that lay ahead.

However, your mother never shared your enthusiasm for this path you had chosen. She preferred a more conventional, established life for you—one filled with safety and the pursuit of "lady-like" duties. She worried about the dangers that awaited you and hoped that you would settle for a more traditional existence.

You knew very well of the dangers that came with being a hero, but never once did you expect to be put in a situation like this.

“Hey are you okay?”

You had just been fighting a villain alongside Deku. The man had quite the strange quirk, blowing up buildings left and right to create a distraction to escape. It seemed you and Deku would claim the victory of the fight, until everything simultaneously went wrong.

Buildings collided, and rubble fell, some of your suit ripped upon impact and your eyes burned from the tiny rocks falling on your face. But you were now laid on the ground, Deku’s weight crushing on top of you.

As the dust cleared, you covered your mouth and coughed. Waiting for all the noise to die down before you looked to see how fucked you were. Your legs were pushed up, knees on either side of Midoriya. It was then you realized the confined space you were stuck in. He was holding himself above you to avoid crushing you. 

As you looked around the area, avoiding direct eye contact with Izuku, you asked, "What happened?"

Izuku's voice carried urgency as he replied, "we’re trapped under some rubble from the explosion.”

You watched as Izuku strained under the weight, his back serving as a barrier between you both and the crushing force of the debris. His muscles flexed with the effort as he attempted to create more space.

He says, “I can’t lift the rock up all the way, so it seems like we’re gonna be stuck like this for a while.”

“Let me help,” you straighten yourself up a little and activate your quirk. As Izuku had said, it was quite heavy, but you used your quirk to lift the rock a little bit and stick it against another. You wouldn’t be able to get the two of you out of this predicament, but it gave enough room to get Izuku off of you.

"Thank you," Izuku said, moving from on top of you. He was still very close though, almost nose to nose with you.  "That makes a difference. We'll have to wait for more help to arrive, but at least this eases the pressure."

The area you were stuck in was quite cramped, you’d have to sit with your knees pulled up to your chest if Izuku hadn’t already curled into himself. It was dark, but you could still make out Izuku’s hero costume.

The silence was broken as you mustered the courage to speak, your voice hushed. "How long do you think we'll be stuck here?"

Izuku's minty breath brushed across your face as he chuckled softly. "Hopefully not very long. Someone's bound to notice we're missing eventually. They'll come to our rescue."

You nodded, acknowledging the truth in his words. There was likely a rescue team working tirelessly outside, doing their best to locate and free you both. Yet, a small voice in the back of your mind whispered with worry, wondering what would happen if nobody found you, if help never arrived. The thought of running out of air and perishing in that confined space sent a shiver down your spine.

"Hey," Izuku spoke, his hand gently settling on your shoulder. The touch caused you to jump slightly, breaking the train of distressing thoughts.

You turned to face him, meeting his concerned gaze. His presence brought a sense of comfort, as it always did. His smile, his touch and the warmth in his eyes reassured you, temporarily pushing away the fear that had gripped you moments ago.

"It's going to be alright," Izuku said softly, his voice filled with sincerity. "We're in this together, and help will come. We just have to hold on and stay strong."

You nod, sighing a little as you let your body relax. “What now?”

"For now, we wait," he replied, his voice steady. "We stay calm and conserve our energy. It might take a while, but help will come."

As you fiddled with the torn pocket of your suit, a feeling of frustration washed over you. Fixing it now would add another task to your ever-growing list of things to do.

Reaching into the small pouch of your tool belt, your fingers found the familiar shape of a tap light—a reliable tool you carried for emergencies just like this one. With a small click, you activated the light, hoping it would provide sufficient illumination.

Unfortunately, it seemed the batteries were running low, casting only a dim glow in the darkness. However, your eyes had gradually adjusted to the lack of light during your time in confinement, and the dimness was no longer as hindering as it initially had been.

A sense of awkwardness began to settle in. With limited options for activity, you drummed your fingers on the ground, trying to dispel the unease that crept up within you.

Your gaze wandered, briefly landing on Izuku. In the dim light, you couldn't help but appreciate his features—his earnest eyes, the determined set of his jaw, and the strength exuded by his presence. It wasn't the first time you had admired his handsome appearance, as you had developed feelings for him since the early days of your career in the field.

Thinking back, you remembered the times when Izuku had offered a helping hand, guiding you through your initial steps as a hero. His unwavering support and willingness to lend assistance had left a lasting impression on you, fostering a deep sense of admiration.

“Y/n.”

As Izuku's voice reaches your ears, it pulls you away from your thoughts, prompting you to look over at him expectantly. However, the realization dawns upon you that in the dimness of your surroundings, he likely can't see your face clearly. In response, you emit a noncommittal hum, signaling your attention.

“Are you injured anywhere?” He asks, attention drawn to the torn fabric of your costume.

You shake your head, a small smile forming on your lips. "I'm fine, Izuku," you assure him, attempting to lighten the mood. "Just a few more errands to run once we get out of here."

The attempt at humor brings a hint of levity to the confined space, relieving some of the tension that had settled between you. You glance down at your torn costume, reassuring yourself that it's only the fabric that's damaged, not your physical well-being.

“I’m glad.” He says with a warm smile. “I care about you deeply, you know.”

Izuku's words reverberate through your mind, momentarily causing your brain to pause. The warmth that spreads across your cheeks is undeniable as you scratch the back of your head, trying to find the right words to respond.

"I-I care about you too," you finally manage to say.

His warm smile widens, and you catch a glimpse of the whites of his teeth as he speaks. "You scared me a little when you charged at the villain like that. Please don't do anything reckless like that again. You're very important to me."

A sense of gratitude wells up within you as you lock eyes with Izuku, the dim light casting a gentle glow upon your faces. "I promise," you reply softly, "I'll be more careful. Your well-being is just as important to me, Izuku. We'll look out for each other."

As silence settles once again in the confined space, you become acutely aware of Izuku's unwavering gaze upon you. His eyes, fixed on your form, make you feel small yet captivated, as if he could see right through you. Every time you meet his eye, his smile radiates warmth, further intensifying the heat placed on your cheeks.

The close proximity between you and Izuku heightens the intensity of the moment. You can't help but feel a surge of apprehension as your heart races, fearful that he might hear the quickened rhythm of your pulse.

“Deku-”

“Yes?”

He responds too quickly, as if expecting you to call his name. The abruptness of his reply catches you off guard, causing your intended question to fade away on your tongue, and you feel yourself shiver. 

Izuku's gaze softens as he observes your reaction. He reaches out, his hand hovering in the space between you. “Y/n?”

“Sorry,” you stutter out. Fiddling with your fingers as you find the right way to state your question. “I um..” You could feel your confidence slipping with every ‘um’ deciding to void your question and ask an entirely new one.

“I uh, just want to thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

“Oh.” He says, “it’s no problem, like I said before, you mean alot to me.”

The gravity of his sentiment sinks in, causing your heart to skip a beat. Holy shit, you think to yourself, scolding your brain for briefly entertaining the idea of confessing your feelings in that vulnerable moment.

You silently thank your senses for reeling you back in, knowing that the timing may not be right for such a revelation. However, the question lingers in the back of your mind, the curiosity of what might happen if you were to express your emotions openly and honestly.

You were always one to go after what you wanted. And if Izuku were to deny you, he’d do it in the nicest way possible. With a surge of determination, you decide to seize the moment.Ignoring the insecurities that plagued you earlier, you lean forward, closing the gap between you and Izuku. Your lips gently meet his in a tender kiss.

Izuku's initial surprise causes a soft squeak to escape his lips, his body tensing momentarily. However, as you start to pull away, his hands instinctively cup the back of your head, pulling you back towards him, deepening the kiss.

His lips were warm, soft, like you had always imagined they were. It was like time stood still, as the excitement of his return to your kiss settled in your gut. As the kiss continues, the confined space feels less constricting, as if it expands to accommodate the shared emotions and desires.

Eventually, the need for air becomes apparent, and you break the kiss, gasping for breath. Your eyes meet Izuku's, both of you sharing a mix of surprise, excitement, and perhaps a touch of uncertainty.

The weight of your arms begins to strain from holding yourself up, but before you can adjust, Izuku's hands move with purpose. He pulls you into his lap, his arms encircling you with a sense of protectiveness and longing. Your lips meet again, the intensity of the kiss growing as you surrender to the depth of your connection.

His hands hold you by the waist, keeping you close every time you try to break away for air. He was suffocating you, and you absolutely loved it. 

Though you had initiated the kiss, it seemed Izuku was more eager than you. His tongue swipes at the seam of your lips, gaining a small gasp from you. As he pressed his tongue in your mouth, hands squeezing at the small fats of your sides, your hands found its way into his curly green hair. 

You reach down, hands feeling up on every curve of his abs, the want for his suit to come off burning within you. There was a zipper in the back of his suit, but as intoxicated by him as you were, you still knew it’d be unwise to fully undress him when anybody could lift this rock and catch you too.

The press would have a field day.

It still doesn’t settle right with you, making you let out a small whine as Izuku breaks away from your lips. “I know baby, I know,” he mutters, before taking a peck at your neck. “You can have all of me when we get out of here okay?”

As he squeezes your hip you press down on him, earring a groan from him as you meet his heavy hard erection. He’s quick to push you back down onto it, working for any friction that he can get.

He’s finally able to peel himself off of you, pushing you down onto the ground as he climbs over you. His chest heaves up and down as he catches his breath. “Are you sure you wanna do this? Here?”

You are also panting, your cleavage exposed by the zipper in the middle of your suit. His breath fans over your skin, sending chills down your body as you feverishly nod your head.

He kisses you again, more hungry than he was before. You could feel his hands creeping into your suit to fondle your breasts. You had never really worn a bra with your costume as it was already a tight fit, and practically had one built in already.

His lips break away from yours before trailing down to your breasts, his mouth accompanying the nipple his hand couldn’t tease. You gasp, the pleasure spiking you to sit up a little, reminding you of the painful concrete beneath you.

Izuku seemed to be rather busy, rotating from boob to boob while also giving your neck slight attention, he seemed to be ignoring the blazing feeling that was building up in your cunt. You wondered how he was even going to reach it. Unlike him, you wore a jumpsuit and your pants wouldn’t slide off easily.

But as fast as you pondered the question, Izuku answered it just as quickly, His hands finding one of the holes in your suit by your thigh, and tearing his way to your pussy.

“Deku!” You squeal. It would be much harder to explain the giant hole exposing your pussy when you were finally rescued, but Izuku didn’t seem to care.

“Izuku.” he corrects. “Just Izuku.”

As quickly as he tore your suit, your panties followed suit. The cold air that smacked your cunt was enough to make you clench around nothing and Izuku chuckles. Lifting one of your legs to  give him better access. 

You could hear your own wetness as he trailed his finger around your exposed area. You longed for him to touch you deeper, hoping he'd quit the slow adventuring and just dive in and touch you.

Finally, he pauses, his thump grazing over your clit. The roughness of his fingertips was enough to make you gasp. “There!” You squeak. “Please, more.”

His other fingers find home inside you as his thumb remains kissed to your clit. He rubs it while also pushing his other fingers in and out of you. With all the build of tension, you could feel every splash of your wetness, frustration almost reaching its peak.

It’s when Izuku presses his finger down that you shoot up and grab his shoulder, the amount of pleasure from the single poke is enough to make you orgasm. You slowly rest your nerves and lean back to lay back on the ground, but with the way Izuku continues his prodding and poking, you didn’t seem to get a break, your back continuously arching from the sudden spikes of pleasure.

“So sensitive,” he whispers. “Everytime I poke you just gush.”

He was going to drive you insane, constant muttering as he analyzed your every reaction. You needed more, finally falling down onto your back and taking a deep breath. With the abuse to your clit, and the way he hums every time you shutter, you wouldn’t last long like this. 

It was a little embarrassing how easily he’d make you cum just by prodding your clit alone. You’ve never been able to achieve that by yourself. 

“Izuku,” you cry out weaky. “I can’t- please.”

His eyes flicker up to you, just his eye contact alone makes you squeeze and he chuckles. “You must want me real bad hm?” He asks, “tell me what you want, baby.” 

“Touch me.” You utter.

“I am touching you.”

“Fuck!” You curse as he curls his finger slightly. “Please Izuku, you know what I mean.”

You can make out the grin on his face as he continues to tease. “I really don’t. Seems like no matter what I do you just get wetter and wetter, so I need you to be a little more specific.”

You hold yourself up by the elbow, meeting his direct eye. “Fuck me.” You demand.

“As you wish,” he slides his fingers out of you, shamelessly bringing them to his lips and licking your juices off. You could see some of your liquid siding down his finger from the small glare of its glisten. 

He pulls off you for a second, pulling his pants down as far he could, you watch as his cock flies free from its containment, red and rock hard, slapping against his chest. It was beautiful. 

It made you wish this was happening in different circumstances. You longed to get on your knees and take that beauty in your mouth. To tease him as he had done you earlier.

He almost struggles to line himself up, grunting as he taps your entrance with his tip. “Are you ready for me?”

“God yes.”

Nothing could prepare you for the stretch Izuku’s cock gives you as it slides it. Not only was it long, and thick, it was hot and you could feel everything. You choke on your moan as you gasp at the same time, the wind practically knocked out your lungs.

“Holy- fuck!” He cures, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “You’re squeezing the shit out of me. Can you relax a little baby? I’m gonna cum too fast if you keep this up.”

You tried to relax, labored breathing as you attempted to regain your composure, but you were just too full. “Too big, I can’t-” you say, squeezing his shoulders as you clenched your eyes shut.

“Okay. I’m gonna move now,” he says cautiously. Slowly pulling out before rolling into you. Both of you respond with a loud noise, the pleasure making you dig your nails into his skin. He didn’t seem to mind, having to clench his fists to keep himself from losing it.

“You okay?” He asks, still testing the waters with slow rolls of his hips.

“I’m fine,” you hiss. “Just move, please.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice, pulling back once again before pressing into you. The intense feeling makes you cry out again, and you wrap your arms around his neck pressing him further into the crook of your neck.

His mouth latches onto your skin as he thrusts again, finding a pace that gradually increased with speed as you both got used to the pleasure. He lowers himself on top of you, resting his weight onto his elbows so he could get closer to your face.

He kisses you, pressing multiple small pecks onto your lip as he continues to fuck you. You appreciated the passion, bringing your hands to crawl into his hair. He continues to fuck you, keeping your bodies close. The base of his cock rubs continuously on your clit, bringing out some delectable moans from you as it stacks along the pleasure inside you.

“I fucking love you,” he moans, his pace starting to get faster. His eyes were closed, mind now entirely focused on pleasuring you. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“I-Izuku!” You try to speak but every word is met with a stutter. He’s too much, every thrust, every slide, every rub makes you pause mid sentence to moan. It doesn’t matter as Izuku isn’t listening, stuck in his own delusion of pleasure. 

“Mine, all mine.” He mutters. “None else can have this, nobody.” 

He sends you another thrust, causing you to repeat his name again and again. With every call of his name, he rewards you with a mind blowing thrust.

Your hands are now spread out on his back, scratching at his hero costume. You knew it wouldn’t budge, the durability stronger than your nails, but with each pounding thrust, you can feel the will to break the suit getting stronger. 

“More,” you beg. “Please, more, I need more of you.”

“I’m right here baby,” he sighs. “I’m all yours.”

You moan loudly at his words, hand cupping his face and bringing him in for a sweet kiss. You could feel your climax building, each push and roll of Izuku’s hips stacking up the feeling in your gut.

You weren’t going to last any longer. His cock was still burning hot, its heaviness felt with every harsh thrust. You broke your kiss to bury your face into his shoulder, intoxicating yourself with his smell.

“So close Zu, so close.” You begin to babble, losing your sense of mind. “Please make me cum, I’m gonna cum, god your gonna make me cum.”

“Fuck-” he trails he curse, taking one of his hands to abuse your clit again. “Cum baby, go ahead. Let it go.”

Your tongue would fly out of your mouth if this continued any longer, unable to control the sound of your moans as you feel everything crashing down. Your scream bounced off the walls of the rubble, your throat running dry from the duration of your scream as your orgasm ran through you.

Izuku kisses you, swallowing up the rest of your moan. He hadn’t finished yet, his hips still rolling. It was enough to make you squeeze around his, grunting from the overstimulation. 

“Shit, I’m gonna cum.” He mutters. “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum.”

His thrust met his maximum speed as he continued to babble, and then he suddenly stilled. You could feel everything. As he pumps his cum inside of you. Every rope makes you twitch slightly. 

He gives you a few extra bonus thrusts, before pulling out of you and catching his limp dick in his hand. You laid still for a while, the uncomfortable feeling of him cum oozing out of you keeping you from moving.

He tucks himself into his pants before doing his best to help your situation, but there wasn’t much. Your jumpsuit was torn alongside your panties, you’d been marked up like crazy and you were leaking cum.

Izuku chuckles, apologizing for his eagerness before he’s able to lift you so lay on top of him. He kisses the top of your head, taking in the silence of your soft breathing.

“I love you.” He says. “I really mean it when I say it.”

“I love you too,” you say, exhausted. 

©LuvloveUni

[r3dcam3llias]

How do you make mods?

To answer in short terms: Ren’py!

In longer terms, I use a program called Ren’py, which is basically a visual novel game making software, and the software used to create OLBA, along with VS code (you don’t need this though, it was just downloaded on my computer already LOL) to be able to actually view the code itself.

There’s plenty of information about Ren’py itself in forums and their docs, and learning the Ren’py language itself isn’t that difficult if you go through a tutorial or two or already have some preexisting knowledge of the Python coding language.

If you’re looking to make a OLBA mod yourself, this is the way I would do it, not a means to an end, feel free to adapt if you find a way that works easier for you:

Download Ren’py, specifically THIS version, as other versions will not be compatible with OLBA. (You can use 7zip to unzip it)

Crack open Ren’py, and just create a new project, name it whatever you want, just make sure it’s 1080 by 1920, everything else doesn’t matter.

Locate your legitimate game files and feel free to just copy and paste everything from the legitimate OLBA folder into your new project (you can find its folder in documents by default iirc, but if not there, try searching for it by name), don't worry about keeping any of the old files in there, just overwrite all of it.

legitimate game files ↑ new project files ↓

Before you can begin editing the scripts or DLCs however, you need to actually be able to see them. You can't because they are in .rpa files, which are basically secured ren'py folders. To crack them open, do these steps:

Find these files in the "game" folder of your new Ren'py project. The archive.rpa file contains everything in the main game. Depending on what DLCs, if any, you have, you may see additional .rpa files with the titles of the DLC you own.

2. Move these files out into a new folder on your desktop. Download this extractor and place it in the same new folder on your desktop. EX:

2. One by one, drop the files onto the rpaExtract.exe Icon. Afterward, you should get some folders with the names corresponding to the .rpa files and potentially an image folder. (NOTE: the archive.rpa file is not contained in one folder, meaning ALL the files will just appear freely, I recommend moving all the other finished folders back into the "game" folder before you do this one so you don't end up confused/overwhelmed!) (my files, excluding the archive.rpa files)

3. You can just delete the .rpa files now, you won't need them, and put the all new folders/files you got back into the "game" folder.

Now you will be free to go into Ren'py and click "open project" to edit the scripts to your heart's content! At this point, if you're experienced with Ren'py things should be looking a bit more familiar, if not, I recommend watching some ren'py tutorials to learn the ropes or just shoot me a message and I'd be happy to help you out in any way I can.

Lastly, when you finish your mod, if you want to be able to use it in a legitimate game, it depends on whether it's an edit of an existing script or adds a completely new one: If it's an edit, just get whatever files you edited and follow my instructions here in this "how to download OLBA mods tutorial". As for a mod that adds completely new scripts, you will still have files that are just edited from the original game, so for those scripts follow the tutorial above. As for original scripts/images/sounds etc you should be able to just paste them into your legitimate game folder and shouldn't have to bother with converting them to a .rpa file at all. I hope this helped answer anyone's questions! Can't wait to see what you guys make :) If you ever need help or have questions, my messages are always open!

[alexiswritingstuff]

(THIS IS A REPOST BECAUSE THE LAST VERSION GOT MESSED UP, SORRY FOR ANY CREATED EXCITEMENT!!)

~

Now, I know I’ve said this for many things, but I genuinely got carried away with this that when I had the idea for the plot... I kinda forgot that the anon had requested something cute with fluff, so... I hope the ending does it justice.

Either way, thank you for sending this in. I hope you like it!

Removal of the Mask.

Pairing: Gustavo Fring x gn! reader.

Other appearances: Mike Ehrmantraut, though only mentioned.

Request: I had an idea for another Gus fic! I just want him to finally break , mask off and just actually let himself show emotion and be upset with the reader comforting him or something? I just need cute and fluffy stuff with him in my life. Poor dude just needs a shoulder to cry on

Content: angst with comfort and fluff.

Warnings: fighting, gunshot, injuries, descriptions of a hospital.

Be aware of spelling errors and mistakes! I do go read through my fics before posting them, but I always managed to miss some!

A/N: I don’t know if it’s just the way I perceive Gustavo, but I genuinely can’t think of him just... crying. You know, like, maybe with tears in his eyes, but the only way I was able to imagine it was like if something close to a major trauma happened. So, I guess that’s what influenced my idea for this.  

Also this fic may be really long, so buckle up, hydrated yourself and grab a snack.

More Gustavo fics.

Taglist-

@sukunamybeloved - @viviennemuerte - @miwagila - @marksassybanana​

The sun was high in the sky. Everything beneath felt the presence, including you as beads of sweat trailed down wherever it could on your body.

You were leant against the side of your car, though not very still in the unbearable heat. “Where the hell is this guy?”

The problem with doing these deals, exchanges, or something along those lines was that they had to be done in unknown places. Areas where there weren’t other people around who could possibly witness something they shouldn’t.

That usually meant abandoned properties, or having to travel miles into the vast desert.

And for this particular meet-up.

It was both.

You sniffed, a rising sense of irritation building as you twisted your wrist to lay eyes on the watch strapped to it. Five minutes late. No one in this business risked being five minutes late, especially if it could end up being more.

No one had been told that it was going to be you instead of Gustavo that they were going to be meeting with today either, so in theory, these people were laying back on him. Making him seem like a fool with the need to wait alone in the desert.

But it was you.

And you were not the slightest bit happy.

Just as your arm lowered, hand angrily smacking back to the car door behind you, there was a revving sound that hummed across the landscape. And upon looking up, your eyes found a moving cloud of dust just over one of the minor hills.

“Ballsy.”

You pushed yourself off of your car, adopting a straightened stance the way a bodyguard would.

Despite wanting to present yourself like Gustavo would- arms tight by the sides, chin raised, head basically unmoving unless needing to provide a form of intimidation- when the car had finally rolled into the lot, your arms were just crossed over your chest.

It may have made you like an angry toddler, but there was nothing more unnerving than the ultimate death stare you shot the driver as he exited the vehicle which had finally stilled.

“You’re not Gustavo.”

That was the first thing he said. 

After turning up late, and looking like he didn’t even bother to dress himself accordingly... That was it? He even had this narrowed gaze when he began to take a few steps in your direction.

“I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that it was the traffic that made you late... Am I right?” You hadn’t moved an inch, just simply watched the man as he ultimately decided to settle on keeping a good distance.

His hands lowered to his hips while his eyes flickered to the horizon, his head mildly nodding as if he couldn’t figure out what to say. But it looked more like he didn’t care.

“Okay,” you began, finally letting your arms fall to your sides, “Let’s not waste anymore time then.”

“Do you have them?”

The mans attention snapped back to you after he rocked on his heels for a moment, his stance unchanging much like his gaze, “It was supposed to be Mr. Fring that I met with.” There was a slight southern drawl to his words, a sound that slowly became vicious the more he spoke, “Where is he?”

Your voice stayed the same despite the irritation that began to take back its place, “I believe we’re old enough to carry out an exchange ourselves, don’t you think?”

There was a good few seconds of strong eye contact. One that closely resembled the kind of stand off you would see in old western movies.

But eventually, his head lowered when you held no reaction to his persistence, even stilled it there when he spat out a glob of spit onto the sandy dirt below.

And then he turned, walking back to the car with a flurry of emotions that visibly affected the way his legs moved.

Your expression was stern as you watched him regardless of the fact that he couldn’t see it, a weird feeling now residing in your chest from the previous actions. I mean, it was like a want. An insistence of Gustavo’s whereabouts.

Gustavo was a businessman. He was the owner of something so large that he couldn’t possibly be everywhere at once, or be the one to do things all the time, so it was more common for other people, like you or Victor, even Mike, to be the ones at exchanges. Especially if the outcome wasn’t something that heavily impacted the business.

Hell, you were just trying to collect new versions of equipment that had been busted from too much usage, this whole interaction had been strange from the get-go.

He had been late, wanted to speak to no one other than Gustavo, despite the fact that the needed task was just handing over the machines, so that you could give him the money in return.

Even with the amount of thoughts that were running through your mind, in the next moment, it seemed that by the time your attention had refocused the realisation of a problem came a bit too late.

The man, who you still didn’t know the name of, had arrived at the side of his car. But instead of moving to the back, where you were assuming was the equipment covered by that tarp, he had stilled at the window of the passenger seat.

You couldn’t exactly pull a machine through a window now could you?

Just as you had retrieved your gun from your belt, and was so close to properly gripping it in your hand, a shot rang through the vast area.

It snagged the weapon, narrowly missing your fingers in the process, and you immediately retracted your hand, watching in mild shock as it fell to the sand below.

Damnit. He’s trained.

Unlike what the rest of your body wanted to do in that moment, your legs sprang into action like your life depended on it. Because it in fact did this time.

You swerved, dodged and weaved as bullets began to pang off of walls and the empty shells of cars that were just left, clouds of dust beginning to gather in the air the further you went.

Situations like this weren’t exactly unusual. Contact with other business went sideways more than anyone would really like to admit, hence the need to carry weapons at all times.

The only difference now was that you were the direct target.

You rounded the corner of the closest part of the abandoned building, heart pounding in your chest, your ears, and chorusing with the bullets that continued to fire despite not even being in view anymore.

Your feet skidded to a stop, your eyes frantically searching through the area for some kind of hiding spot or at least something that would give you time to make a plan.

But just as you made a decision, that would’ve at least lead you to your next option if it went sideways, a shot echoed through the surrounding walls.

A sound uncontrollably escaped your throat. Your body jolted, knees eager to bend as you staggered forwards, a sense of determination bubbling in your system more than it ever had.

However, before you could have even prepared, something collided with the middle of your back with full intent. 

It sent you tumbling forward. Your knees were the first to connect with the ground below until your hands followed, the sand beginning to roast the pads of your fingers.

But of course, due to the combination of your lack of ability to comprehend the situation, and an increasing pain somewhere in your side, you couldn’t keep yourself stabilised for long.

You fell on your stomach, the exhaustion from the heat finally creeping in the last moment that it needed to.

“Listen,” you croaked out after a cough, still trying to pull yourself towards your chosen hiding spot despite the inability to basically move, “You want-- You want Gustavo, right? Why not… You can’t get to him if you kill-- kill me.”

There was no point in bargaining. You knew that. You knew that this was pre-planned, and that it in fact was meant for Gus.

But they could easily settle on the next best thing if the intent was to impact him.

And you were right.

Each of your legs were grasped in either of his hands within the next second, and before you could grab the sand beneath you, even if your fingers would’ve immediately sunk through, he began pulling you towards him.

In the blink of an eye, your body got flipped over, your spine now slamming into the sand. An indescribable pain seared through your side, and despite the urge to arch your back as if it would get you away from the feeling, your eyes went wide. And you swung, arm aimed at the first body part that was close enough.

His gun fell to the side.

There was a yell of annoyance that bellowed from the man above, and when you tried to move a fist decided to meet with your face in a way that had your ears purely ringing.

It was almost like your brain was forgetting basic functions. You could barely remember how to move your eyes, or even breathe, for a terrifying few seconds.

You had previously thrashed in a way that made the man falter, almost losing his balance. It wasn’t until he was trying to push himself to stand that something managed to form in your head.

Your legs trapped his own despite their weakness and while the man battled with a pair of limbs, cursing in ways that you couldn’t imagine, your hand subtly moved to the side, gliding across the surface of the sand.

Until they met with metal.

The vision through your eyes was blurry from the previous attacks and now from the direction off the sun that beamed right on you. But somehow you still managed to find your aim.

The man twisted back round when he heard that familiar click and his eyes widened as much as they physically could, “No--”

The shot echoed more times that you could count, bouncing off of every possible surface, through the building and on the walls like a game of ping pong.

And then something slumped, falling to the side almost in slow motion until it collided with the ground.

You got him.

All at once the adrenaline rush slowed and the pain in your face, with a sort of burning sensation somewhere else in your upper body, intensified so much that you could barely move.

A shaky whine pushed through your lips as you began to pat around your torso, trying to find the large source of pain.

And then you got to your left side.

It seems that he got you first.

“Shit.” you seethed through gritted teeth and lowered your increasingly weak arm back down to let your hand gain access to a pocket. Your fingers dug through the fabric compartment, grabbed at a device before, unsteadily, pulling it out.

There was no way that you would be able to sit up so you did your best to lift the phone in front of your face, but even when it was flipped open, your vision shook with your heaving chest.

It felt like years had passed by the time you had managed to push a certain order of buttons in, and as soon as it began to ring, you let it drop, your arm smacking into the ground next to your side.

Finally, there was an answer.

The phone hadn’t landed that far away from your head, but it was enough so that when a voice crackled through the speaker, you couldn’t hear it over the sound of your heartbeat and the ragged breaths that rasped from your throat.

You coughed, “Hey, Mike. You, uh… You’re not busy, right?” Your voice was strained despite how hard you were trying to play off your injuries, but when you put pressure on the most important wound to limit the blood loss. It was a little hard to maintain.

“It’s not been a very nice tea party.”

~

The surrounding room would’ve been quiet if it wasn’t for the monotonous beeps from machines that sounded more hypnotic as time went on.

The lighting was dull, barely reflecting off of the walls, with no help from the world outside as by now it had apparently grown dark. Though, due to the ache that consumed almost every part of your head, it made you very grateful.

Your gaze was set on the window on the other side of the room, one used so that doctors could see their patients at any given time if they weren’t able to hear them first.

Gustavo had arrived, stood in the brighter hallway and talking to a doctor you were still getting use to interacting with yourself.

The expression on his face was a mixture of the one he held when interacting with the general public and this intensity that would be difficult for other people to notice upon first glance.

But not you.

After almost every sentence spoken by the doctor, the man had sent a glance your way. A look that could almost make you feel exactly how he did, regardless of the fact that it wasn’t fully readable.

And before there was even an attempt to try, you found yourself breaking the eye contact, sinking the back of your head further into your pillow as it seemed that your mind only now was capturing onto the fact that you were indeed awake.

From what you could hear from the muffled conversation going on outside, and what you had been previous told, the bullet had luckily missed major arteries or organs that would’ve cost everything if hit.

But even so, especially now that it had been removed, that didn’t mean it wasn’t still going to hurt like hell.

You had been issued pain medication at a time that couldn’t be remembered off the bat, but it seemed that it hadn’t met the 30 minute mark yet. Meaning that it wasn’t properly in your system.

By the time your eyes focused back through the window, Gustavo had a smile stiffly pressed onto his lips. The two of them were shaking hands, sharing words that you couldn’t quite catch, and then the doctor turned, resuming the work they were previously doing before he had arrived.

In that moment, the emotion held on Gustavo's face had disappeared by the next time your heavy eyelids had allowed themselves to blink. It was almost like he was in a trance for a good second, his eyes unfocused as they stared off down the hallway.

And then he snapped back.

This time when he faced the room, his attention never went to you. He simply opened the door, walked through and then closed it behind himself. A movement that engulfed the surrounding area in a quietness that even the machines couldn’t help.

He stood closer to the back wall than the edge of your bed. His body was still, stance almost like a soldier, as his gaze remained aimed at whatever was in front of him. You really wished you could read minds.

“Have the doctors updated you on your condition?”

Despite the small room, there was a lack of fullness to his voice. Like it was from somewhere in the distance even though he was right there.

“Yeah,” The grogginess from waking up not that long ago was still fresh in your system even with the activeness of your mind, so when you attempted to shuffle yourself to get a better view of Gustavo you had barely even moved. “Though I could’ve make an educated guess anyway.”

His response was a mere hum, still remaining in the same position as before. It was a thing that made your eyebrows twitch, unsure if he had even meant to make that sound in the first place.

“I would’ve had you put in a more private place, but... I was was told there wasn’t enough time.” That was when he moved for the first time since entering the room. His head lowered, eyes now cast down to his shoes like they were the most interesting thing in the room. “I know you don’t like hospitals.”

Your gaze moved upwards as you turned your head towards the ceiling, a huff of air passing through your lips, “Well, I already had the surgery... Just need to be patient now.”

“I wish there were better channels on these TVs though,” you then added, attempting to break the tension surrounding every corner in the room, but when you moved your head again, you found Gustavo starting to walk.

His steps were almost silent despite what his shoes were made of. He moved slow, precise even if his attention wasn’t on the floor anymore.

And soon Gustavo had arrived at the window that looked out onto the world below. You had no idea what floor you were on but it was most likely about halfway as the sound of cars could still be heard, though a bit muffled.

Somehow the more time he spent facing away from you, the more a nervousness began to ignite within your chest.

The way he was acting was something you had only seen when he was disappointed. Upset about how a situation had gone enough so that he needed time to compose himself before speaking.

So, even if most of your body couldn’t be bothered to move, you found a way to fidget.

You stared at the wall on the other side of your bed. A multitude of fresh thoughts and worries swarming your mind in a way that was almost suffocating, until they couldn’t be contained anymore.

You cleared your throat, finally finding your voice despite the utter dread of doing so. “I’m sorry.”

The sound of the heart monitor could literally be heard speeding up as your words fully settled through the air.

“Pardon?”

Your eyes may have still been aimed at the wall, but from the corner, you could see Gustavo twist away from the window. An action that didn’t at all help your nerves.

The next time you took a breath, you had almost gulped, “I realised what had been planned too late.”

“If that had happened anywhere else, I could’ve ruined the business... Lost progress.”

It was only when a new worry, the realisation of another action that had the possibility of many consequences, that you found the ability to actually look at Gustavo, “You got the machines, right?”

His brows were furrowed enough that the skin surrounding them was intensely crinkled, his eyes narrowed in a disbelief that you had never seen him display.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Y/n.” was all he managed for a moment, his voice going back to that lack of fullness that in turn had your eyebrows furrowing. “Did they tell you what happened? Everything?”

“You were injured during a job I set for you.” His eyes were wider now, the once clouded look within them forming into a sense of clarity though the disbelief still remained.

“And I could’ve ruined everything.” The emotions each of you felt were clashing, the brain working in the wonderous ways it always did as you both had very different viewpoints of the situation. The hard part was getting the other to understand why.

“There is a lot more important things than machines, Y/n.” Gustavo pointed out and took a few steps forward so that he was further from the window.

There was a sense of annoyance now travelling through your tired system, the irritation built up over the entire day officially starting to spark, “Which is exactly why I am trying to apologise.”

“For what? Not knowing that you were going be attacked?”

You shook your head, breaking the intense eye contact as your gaze went back to the ceiling.

Arguing was the last thing that you wanted to do right now. You were tired, weak, hungry, and now had an anger that was eager to erupt.

Two people at fault but both only thinking that one is.

After a few moments of being absorbed by those monotonous beeps again, a deep sigh could be heard. Even though you couldn’t see him anymore, it was clear that he had finally allowed his shoulders to lower. Deflate. “You got hurt.”

“Well, I think I know that, Gus.” you blurted out as your mouth seemed to be faster than your brain. Something that you immediately regretted. “Look...” You raised your head again, your hands subconsciously gliding to where your bandages grasped to your skin, “What happened... Happened.”

“It’s over... Okay-- It doesn’t matter anymore.”

It was a sentence meant to ease the situation. Words formed in a eagerness to get this whole thing over and done with, because you were quite frankly over it yourself, wanting nothing more than to fall into an incredibly deep sleep.

But all it did was make the lines of Gustavo’s face more prominent. The look across it formed into an expression that almost mimicked offense. “Doesn’t... Doesn’t matter-- Listen to yourself.”

“Why aren’t you taking this situation more seriously?”

“Well, did you get what you were after?” you questioned, trying to find at least some form of middle ground that you could then use to clear this whole thing up.

Gustavo scoffed, “I can’t believe you.” He turned himself around again, adopting the same stance from before as he stared through the window.

Your eyebrows were furrowed as much as they possibly could at this point, “Why? This isn’t the first time that something like this has happened, Gus-- Hell, it will happen again.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“It can’t.”

“What do you-- What do you mean it can’t, Gustavo?” you huffed out, the sound almost becoming gargled as you began to push yourself to sit up. But you were determined to ignore the pain pulsing in your side. A deep breath shook through your lips when you got upright.

You carefully began to shuffle yourself backwards, trying to lean more comfortably against the bed, and only made an attempt to speak when you had fully decided your positioning, “The more we progress, the more likely stuff like this is going to take place. You of all people should know that--”

“You almost died!”

It felt like time had stopped for a good minute.

The sound had rung longer than the sentence itself, but you couldn’t tell if it was just the way your mind attempted to process it, or if it was really that loud.

Gustavo had faced you once again, only this time there was this active rage that covered almost every visible inch of him in a way that heavily contrasted the usual stoicism.

It was barely seen, but it looked like his shoulders lowered and raised with every breath. Like he was heaving. Heaving with disbelief, anger... and fear?

“You almost... You.” he had attempted to repeat, but there was this lack of control. An inability to get himself together like he always managed to do any other day.

He took in a deep breath, one that shook more than yours had, and practically forced himself to stand straight, “That attack was meant for me.”

“Because I got... interrupted, I wasn’t there... and then you became the target.” He was trying to gather himself. Trying to make himself look how he usually did by straightening his spine, raising his chin and adopting an expression devoid of any emotion.

But despite trying to adjust the mask.

It was starting to crack.

“Gustavo.”

“I should have gone.” His voice was barely above a whisper now.

To the naked eye he was ridged, but there was this shakiness that could be seen the longer your eyes stayed on him, “I should be the one in that bed... not you.”

“You could’ve...”

One half of his nose slightly crinkled after a moment, in turn raising the left side of his top lip, and he visibly swallowed like the words he was going to speak had a horrid taste.

And then you spotted it.

It was difficult to properly see Gustavo’s eyes through the glasses as light sources reflected onto the lenses almost everywhere he looked, and at first you thought it was in fact just some reflected light.

But it would disappear when he blinked.

“Gustavo.” you spoke after a moment, practically forgetting what you sounded like at this point, and it seemed to snap the man out of his thoughts. “Close the blinds.”

At first he just furrowed his eyebrows. His dazed eyes finally moved from where they had zoned in to meet your own with a sudden confusion. And then they followed the finger pointed towards the window for the doctors.

The abrupt change in atmosphere had him just standing there for a moment, but then due to the crowdedness of his mind, it seemed that it just went on autopilot. He walked through the room, same pace and quietness as before, until he arrived at yet another window.

He cleared his throat, picked the left blind cord to take between two of his fingers and then pulled at it, taking one final look at the hallways outside before they were officially closed.

Now, the lighting of the room was increasingly lowered. You still had a slight source from the sky, but time had done what it did best. It barely brought anything to help maintain the light.

But that was the least of your concerns.

The moment those blinds had reached the ledge of the window, Gustavo's hands pressed onto either side of the surface, and he leant his weight into it in a way that seemed to take it off of his shoulders as they visibly slacked.

It was a movement that had you just staring for a good few seconds.

This was not the Gustavo that you knew. This man before you was not in control of his expressions, the way that he spoke, the way he stood. This was not a man who rose above and administered fear into anyone even if that wasn’t his intent.

This was just a man.

Just Gus.

You, very stiffly, began to try and shuffle yourself sideway across the bed. You didn’t care about the pain that pulsed through your torso, or how it felt like your arms were going to either bend or snap. You kept moving, and only stopped when it was clear to do so.

Pins and needles began to spread through your hand as you patted it down in the space you had created, turning your head more in his direction as you expected him to respond.

But he didn’t.

You stifled a sigh, “Come here, Gustavo.”

He needed a proper command. A verbal set of words that allowed him to comply to the urge you placed in his head. So, after trying to swallow the feelings that were appearing once again, he turned around.

Though this time when he fully faced you, instead of pausing like he needed to convince himself to actually walk, he moved the second his eyes lay on you.

His pace was slow like before, each step getting heavier than the previous one.

He understood.

He understood why you had been acting the way you did, wanted nothing more than to change the subject, and now why you had asked him to close the blinds.

It was to stop the outside from seeing in. Not let any other person bear witness to a moment just for the two of you.

Gustavo lowered himself to sit on the bed, his eyes not daring to leave your own in a way that properly allowed you to see behind the lenses of those glasses.

There was a line of water just peaking over the lower lid. His blinks may have subsided most of it, but it would always come back with the same amount. Sometimes even more.

“I shouldn’t have let you do the job alone.” Gustavo insisted, but it had you shake your head within seconds. “Hey,”

You took one of his hands between yours, trying to shift just a tad bit closer to him even if it hurt, “Gustavo, you need to understand that even if there was another person there, the same thing would’ve happened-- Another person would’ve been hurt instead of just me.”

“Someone would still get shot.”

That was when the eye contact had been broken.

He knew you were right. He knew that even if he had found out what had happened sooner, he wouldn’t have gotten there fast enough to do anything about it.

But there was a vast difference between understanding something and accepting it.

The expression on his face was so unusual to see, more so because it genuinely conveyed his feelings. You could see it in his eyes, the way his lips were starting to press together. Utter guilt despite the continuous insistence that it wasn’t his fault.

The action of removing your hands from his had him out of his thoughts again, though it wasn’t until he blinked that he felt where they had gone.

Each of your palms were placed on either side of his face, the centre firm against his set jaw.

The thumbs of your hands resided above the rest of your fingers, lightly gliding across the textured skin of Gustavo’s cheeks in a way that had him instinctively closing his eyes.

The weight of his head in your hold grew and it looked as if the tension in his muscled finally let him relax, even if it was just for a moment. You wanted him to stay like that forever.

“I’m glad you weren’t there, Gustavo.”

And just like that, the sentence had practically undone the moment of peace. But even when he went to lean back, he made sure that it was a distance that would keep your hands on his face.

The edges of his eyebrows were crinkled again, a mixture of concern and confusion purely visible, “How?”

The way he asked had a smile begging to curl at your lips. Though, due to the muscles of your face being too tired at this point and the fact that this definitely wasn’t the time to do so, you ignored it. “If it was you that got attacked instead of me, they wouldn’t have stopped until there was nothing left.”

Your grasp on his face became a tad more firm. Your eyes began to travel, thinking about the fact that you had never seen him so close for this amount of time before. “A shot in the side means nothing to me.”

“Y/n, how can you possibly say that?” The concern spread further than it had done before, now beginning to form into that same disbelief like it had earlier.

You slightly lowered your chin after a minute, making sure that your eyeline was directly connected to his. And then you just shrugged, a wave of emotions flooding your system at a sudden sense of safety that you had yearned to feel all day, “Because,”

“I would rather die, knowing that you were somewhere safe... alive. Than breathe in a world where you aren’t doing the same.”

It felt like it was going to be another one of those moments. The two of you just going to stare into each others eyes, equally lost. No words available that could even scratch the surface of what either of you felt.

Though it seemed that Gustavo’s ability to maintain a calm exterior faltered. He began to crumble.

His his eyebrows pinched together suddenly, his bottom lip slowly pushing upwards until it shook, and then he lowered his head out of your grasp, a wavering breath huffing out of his mouth.

He tried to speak. Tried to express something that ultimately would be left unknown as he just gave up. Understanding that it wouldn’t be able to come out the way that he wanted it to.

So, he just... sort of slumped. His head dipped a little more, his hand reaching up to grab the glasses that were close to falling.

He was overtaken. Emotions active more than he had let it in so long. Gustavo tried to wipe them away, tried to rid his eyes of the water that practically felt like a river pushing to flood.

But the dam had already been broken.

He just sat there, hands now pressed to face in an attempt to block the tears from going anywhere, even if they had already began to trail between his fingers.

You took the glasses that were almost crumpled in his grasp before folding the legs, and then slowly placed them on the bedside table while trying to ignore the pain that pulsed in your side from the stretch.

You subtly gritted your teeth, willing to forget about any feeling that was trying to present itself as you wanted to focus on Gustavo. You needed to.

So, you reached out, waiting for your hand to cup the back of his head before slowly beginning to guide it forward in a way that ultimately made the rest of his body follow.

And soon, he was laid across your chest, careful to avoid your injury.

The side of his head had managed to make his ear press right over where your heart was. Something that seemed to trigger Gustavo the moment he registered both the feeling and the sound.

Because, for the first time since he had entered the room or laid eyes on you through the window that had now been closed. He had actual confirmation that wasn’t just words from a doctor.

You were not some sick hallucination that was playing his mind, or a lie that he was trying to convince himself of in an attempt to avoid a painful truth and make him feel better. No. You were real.

You were alive.

The next breath that Gustavo took was cut quite abruptly like another had just pushed itself out. It was a sound that caught you off guard, one that you didn’t initially know how to respond to as you thought you were just hearing things.

But then it happened again... and then again. A sound that almost made it seem like he had forgotten how to breathe.

And then you heard what it was trying to cover, something else breaking through the harsh huffs of air.

He was crying.

Properly crying.

Gustavo removed one of the hands from his face and reached it under your arm so that he could grab the back of your shoulder, his fingers grasping onto the fabric the moment they made contact.

It had your arms wrapping around his body within seconds, especially when it had begun to rack with almost guttural like sounds.

His head was fully pressed into your chest now, each of his hands holding onto an arm or a shoulder tightly with such desperation as if you were going to disappear if he let go.

So, you didn’t dare move. You just held him there, unable to escape another pain as you had to simply lay in that bed, holding something that was releasing such raw cries.

Gustavo couldn’t even recognise the sounds himself. The way his body responded, the tears falling freely from his eyes, the harshness that the sobs were rushing out of his lungs. It was unfamiliar. A foreign feeling that swirled through everything else.

Truthfully, he could remember the last time he cried in such a way. He could remember when his feelings were shoved out of him regardless of his wants.

But he couldn’t think of any time when he had allowed himself to do it on his own.

Until now.

~~~

The next few days were filled with pretty much the same routine.

Your injuries would get checked, treated again if the doctors saw fit, and you had to do everything in your power to keep yourself entertained as the channels still weren’t giving you much.

And then, when it would get dark, Gustavo appeared.

He would bring this homemade soup almost every night that had your stomach growling before he had even arrived. It was also a decent sized cup, meaning that if you didn’t finish it, the hospital could store it and reheat it for lunch the next day.

Maybe after a while, others would think that having soup for more than a week would get old at some point... But no. In fact there was different ingredients used in every batch. The change could be miniscule but it was still effective.

The rest of the routine got old fast though. The days started merging, and it soon made you become unsure of when the next started or ended, as it seemed like you had forgotten how to sleep at normal times due to your exhausted system.

But then the time finally came.

The discharge from hospital.

Obviously there was still a whole lot of resting, healing and overall taking everything slow coming your way, which was a hundred percent going to prove to be a challenge. However, with the way that Gustavo appeared right by your side, even if it was just a facial expression that proved you were having difficulty, it gave you enough assurance. Comfort.

There was no word to accurately express your feelings the moment the car had pulled to a stop in the driveway. Your driveway.

What you saw out the window wasn’t a picture you had tried to think up multiple times in your head. It was just right in front of you. A house that seemed larger than you had remembered.

It almost startled you when the car door suddenly got pulled open, but after a blink you registered his figure, spotted the hands that were out and ready to aid you.

The process of shimmying your way off of the car seat was a bit of a hassle, however, your legs eventually hung out of the car, feet finally meeting with solid ground once again.

Soon, you had actually arrived inside the house. 

Gustavo was to your right, stood carefully, in a way that would completely cross out any possibility of further injuring the other side of your body, as he guided you through those familiar halls which almost gave you a feeling of nostalgia. Even if it wasn’t that long ago that you walked within them.

A new wave of tiredness hit you after about a step into the living room you had yearned to see. 

Everything looked the same, furniture and even the objects of décor still placed so intricately as if the room hadn’t been lived in or touched.

It smelled the same too.

“Were you cooking this morning?” you questioned, voice a bit more groggy than before, as a sort of smoky scent presented itself to your nostrils. Gustavo hummed, carefully pulling at your shoulder to direct you around the rectangular coffee table.

“You know I can walk by myself, right?” you pointed out, trying to turn your head to get a look at his face but he had moved behind you when the two of you got between the edge of the table and an armchair at the same time.

“Of course.” was all Gustavo said, still holding onto you regardless. And finally, you had reached the couch of your dreams.

Even though you had been laying around all day every day for weeks on end, the relief that filled your system over not having to walk anymore almost had your knees buckling.

“Okay,” Gustavo spoke just above a whisper, lightly turning you so that you faced the TV, “Slowly.”

A deep breath sifted in and out of your lungs. Your grip on his arm tightened and after looking in his eyes for a good few seconds, you began to lower yourself in the speed he insisted on. “There you go.”

“You’re doing just fine.”

Your nose was scrunched, along with your eyes, the further you bent as the movement slightly began to fold more and more of your body. You lost count of how many times you tried to stifle a hiss from the sharp pains that kept coming.

But even when officially sat down on the soft couch, the discomfort unfortunately remained.

You slowly leaned backwards, allowing your injured side to stretch out in a way that was fully comfortable, until your back pressed into the pillows. There was a sigh of relief that huffed out of your mouth all at once and it had the tiniest smile curling at Gustavo’s lips.

“Better?” he questioned and despite your urge to close your eyes, you just looked at him. “Better. Thank you,” you confirmed, reaching out to grab one of his hands.

But before your own could meet his, it had suddenly lowered with the rest of his body. Your eyebrows furrowed as you watched him get onto his knees, even pushing the coffee table away so that he had more space.

And then his hands landed on your shoes, “Oh, Gustavo, you don’t--”

“Relax.”

He lifted one foot at a time, placing the bottom of your shoe on his thigh so that he could properly attack the laces. And soon, both pairs were off of your feet, now held in a singular hand.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Your voice was more hushed this time, timid, as you looked down at the man who now was just looking right back at you. And then he smiled. Such a simple, but full, smile that fit his face perfectly.

Gustavo then pressed his free hand onto the floor, moved himself back a little, and then let out a slight grunt as pushed himself up to his feet.

When he had done so you had thought he was just go, leave to bring the shoes to the area you usually kept them, so you had started to shuffle your self further into the couch.

But the next thing you knew, one of your hands was brough in a gentle grasp. The step that Gustavo had taken was to get closer to the couch, and you.

He sort of hunched forward after a moment, bringing your intertwined hands his way. And then, when it was at a perfect distance, he turned them until the back of your palm faced him.

He brought his lips to your warm skin, the soft but mildly jagged skin pressing down for a good few seconds as the breath through his nostrils slightly tickled you. And then he lifted his head a little.

Gustavo met your eyes with such a wide smile that it had almost bared his teeth.

“I did.”

And after a quick squeeze to your hand, that was that. He let go.

Gustavo adjusted the grip he had on the shoes in his other hand and simply turned, retracing his steps around the coffee table before disappearing into the hallway.

Your hand was still hung in the air. Stuck same position it had been when with Gustavo’s... and then you left it fall to your chest, landing right on top of your heart that was beating so fast that you could immediately feel it.

The smile on your face was one that felt impossibly to get off.

There was a long journey still to go, and a lot of pain to follow, but there was almost no worry when you thought about it. Because, like you had convinced to convince Gustavo of earlier, you made it.

You made it back home.