#you could just say Wow Those People Are Bad and never have to wonder if you could ever reach a point where you did the same things

[felonytaxevasion]

Can I hear more about the worm vs the boys please if you want to expand on it on tumblr? I love worm and I don’t really like the boys and I can't quite explain to myself why

Yea absolutely! Im sure there's some other Wormblr posts out there that go into this in more depth but I can paraphrase what I was saying to my friends.

We were mainly discussing the concept of "edginess" and excessive anger, violence, and shock value in media and I brought up Worm and The Boys as examples so that I could sort of warn my friend about the tone of Pact without directly spoiling anything. My main thesis is that Worm is incredibly super duper edgy, however it doesn't come across as nihilistic and misanthropic like The Boys does.

I feel as though too often The Boys is usually taking the stance of "well humans suck so if you gave humans superpowers they would find unique ways to suck and the only thing separating normal people from monsters is power. So no one should have power" which I don't inherently disagree with to an extent. It's an exaggerated critique of capitalism and celebrity. But it's also such a gross way to look at humans/the nature of humanity.

Contrast with Worm that says "bad people with superpowers will use their powers to do uniquely horrible things. But good people with superpowers will also be out there doing uniquely and incredibly good things for the benefit of humanity. Every human as the potential for abhorrent cruelty. But it is just as true that those same humans all have the potential to do good."

I think it's really important that the two final and most major antagonists in Worm are motivated by nihilism and hatred of humans. Jack Slash and Scion both have the philosophy of "Humans are cruel. The parts of humanity that are good are losing out to cruelty. Why try and fight it. It's easier to just kill everyone". Contrast Taylor who, I'm 99% sure, never for a second questions if humanity is worth saving. Everyone around her in Gold Morning says "there's nothing we can do so we should at least die happy" and Taylor says "I cannot die happy unless I spend every second of my last day fighting for the miniscule chance to save humanity from extinction". Taylor and the fucking insane lengths she will go to save humans when she doesn't even like them all that much is the heart of Worm. (And like don't get me wrong worm is also about Taylor fucking failing to not partake in human cruelty at basically every opportunity. Quite possibly the worst anyone's ever done it. But that doesn't change the fact that she is trying and in the doing is pushing the audience to try as well)

And on the other hand I think the attitude of The Boys kind of just IS Jack Slashs. I honestly cannot even fathom what the take away is meant to be beyond "people are fuuucked up dude". If I wanted to be especially cruel I would say that I think a large majority of fan base for The Boys was generated on the basis of shock value and the incredibly strong performances from the cast. It's easy to get in to season 1 because it presents a horrible world with no redeeming qualities but you can assume in later seasons "they're gonna figure it out! Good will win out! Or at least good will lose for reasons that connect with the audience and make it a tragedy" but three seasons later theyre floundering to find a message and a reason people should care about the world and it's characters.

At the end of the day TLDR I think worm works because it has something to say and uses edge to support the thesis. The Boys exists more as a framework to explore cruelty in fiction and I just don't think it has a lot to say outside of that.

[lovedrruunk]

'Forget her

In which you get played by your situationship. Jinx thinks you deserve better anyway. (drabble!!!)

You sat on the couch in Jinx’s hideout staring blankly at the sky, your fingers absentmindedly tracing over the ripped leather of the furniture. The bitter pit in your stomach hadn’t left since you heard it. Those carefully chosen words that meant everything and nothing at the same time, but you weren’t even sure why you were surprised. It wasn’t like you hadn’t known deep down that things wouldn’t work out with her.

But it still stung.

The situation had been complicated from the start. No labels, no promises, just two people who occasionally crossed the line into something that felt almost like more. You thought it was heading somewhere, but apparently she didn’t. And today, with a few short sentences, she made that clear.

“I’m not looking for anything serious.”

Classic.

You clenched your jaw, sinking back into the cushions. The room felt heavy and you hated that you’d let yourself get invested. You weren’t even sure why you had told Jinx you’d come over. You didn’t want to be a downer, but the idea of sitting alone with your thoughts had been worse. So now you were just sitting here, feeling like a total idiot for ever thinking she was serious about you.

“Ya know, if you keep sulking like that I might start thinking you forgot I exist,” Jinx’s voice cut through your mental spiral, drawing your eyes towards her. She leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed looking at you with a raised brow. “Not a good look for you by the way.”

You snorted, rubbing a hand over your face. “Yeah, well, it’s been a day.”

Jinx pushed off the door, walking over to flop down next to you on the couch. “A ‘day,’ huh?" One look at your face and she already knew. "Lemme guess. Her?”

You hesitated, not really wanting to dive into the whole mess, but the look she gave you made it clear she wasn’t about to let this go, she never does. Wasn't necessarily a bad thing you figured, you liked that about her. “Yeah… her. She finally dropped the ‘let’s keep things casual’ bomb. As if I didn’t already know that’s where it was going.”

Jinx let out a long whistle, pretending to look thoughtful. “Wow, shocking. Who could’ve ever seen that coming? Definitely not me, noooo,” she said with obvious sarcasm.

You shot her a look. “I know, okay? I knew it wasn’t serious, I just… I don’t know, I guess I hoped maybe it’d turn into something more.” The bitterness in your voice was hard to hide, even if you were trying to downplay how much it bothered you.

Jinx didn’t say anything right away, but you could feel her watching you, her usual smirk faltering a bit. “Look, I’m not saying I hate the girl—”

You raised an eyebrow. “You definitely hate her.”

“—I’m not saying I hate her,” she repeated, this time with a little more emphasis, like she was trying to convince herself as much as you. “But, y’know, she’s kind of… what’s the word?" She tapped her chin pretending to be in thought. "Trash.”

“Jinx.”

“What? I said I don’t hate her!” She threw up her hands, giving you an exaggerated innocent look before settling back against the couch, her tone becoming more serious. “But... seriously. You deserve better. You know that, right?”

You huffed, sinking further into the cushions. “Yeah, well, better isn’t exactly lining up around the block.”

Jinx’s brows furrowed, her lips twisting in that way she did when she was trying to keep something secret. “If it were me…” she started, then hesitated, glancing away like she was debating whether or not to say the rest.

You sat up a little, noticing the shift in her tone.

She cleared her throat, her voice a little quieter. “I’m just saying… If it were me, I wouldn’t make you guess all the time. You wouldn’t have to wonder where we stood, y’know? ‘Cause I’d make it pretty darn obvious.” She said with a light chuckle, her eyes glued to the floor.

You blinked, caught off guard by the shift in Jinx's tone. Her usual bravado had faded, leaving something raw in its place. You sat up a little straighter, turning to face her. “What are you saying?”

Her eyes flicked up to meet yours, and there was no teasing in them now. Just something deep, something real. She hesitated for a moment, like she was debating whether to push it further. And then she did.

“I’m saying…” She leaned in slowly, her voice barely a whisper “...I wouldn’t waste your time.”

You froze as she closed the distance between you, her hand brushing the back of your neck. For a second, neither of you moved. Her thumb grazed the skin just below your ear sending a shiver down your spine.

And then, before you could even process it, her lips were on yours.

The kiss was soft at first, tentative, like she was waiting for you to pull away. When you didn’t, she deepened it, her fingers threading through your hair, pulling you closer. Her lips were warm, and the way she kissed you made it clear, this wasn’t some spur-of-the-moment thing. She had thought about this. Wanted this.

After the initial shock you kissed her back, your hands finding their way to her shoulders, pulling her closer. The frustration and hurt that had been swirling in your chest moments ago melted away, replaced by a new kind of warmth.

Finally pulling away you stared at her breathless, heart still racing trying to process what just happened.

She pulled back slightly, still grinning but this time it was softer, less playful. “What?” she asked, her voice lighter, teasing. “Not what you expected?”

You let out a small laugh, looking away feeling your face get hot. “Not exactly.”

“Well, I like surprising you.” She leaned in again, her lips ghosting over yours, but this time, she didn’t kiss you, just hovered close enough that you could feel her smirk widen. “So, you wanna sit here and keep sulking?...

Or do you wanna graffiti the bitch’s house?”

. . .

;p !!! this was super fast paced and unrealistic but its just practice! plus my first one shot in months! and tbf in what realistic world would jinx be in a relationship anyway lol... hope u liked!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Trey Clover: Eyes Up Here

Wow, glasses off Trey? He’s still making the same one brow lifted smirk though 😂 HE KINDA LOOKS LIKE SEBEK WITHOUT THE GLASSES... I don’t know how to describe this artwork + this voice other than saying “Trey fans all want one thing and it’s disgusting”/j; he just seems to attract people that are really into the beefy dad types.

Trey’s Campwear jacket also had Painted on it. I wonder if that’s a brand in the Twst world? And his cardigan is the color of dentist scrubs—

Rise and Shine!

Mornings were a blur. Not that they went by fast, but they were literally a blur.

When Trey woke, his surroundings were smears of color. Slapped together indiscriminately, no clear form or boundaries between the hues. It’s not until he slipped his spectacles on that everything cleared up, sharpening into proper shapes and recognizable objects.

Running a hand through his short hair, he gave a yawn as he wandered into the washroom. The ceiling was curved and patterned like the sky. Paired with grass-like tiles and flowery sinks and lamps, the space created the illusion of stepping outside.

The washroom was shared among all of the dorm's residents. A few of them had been so bold as to leave their toiletries around: deodorant sticks, labelled bottles of shampoo and conditioner. But there was never any mistaking of Trey’s things for another’s.

He was the only one with an entire case to carry his dental hygiene routine. There was: a main toothbrush (changed to a new one every 3-4 months, or whenever he noticed significant bristle damage), several specialized toothbrushes (one for the back, one for scraping the tongue...), two spares, a selection of flavored toothpastes (fluoride added), and three containers of floss.

No mouthwash though--"It washes away too much," Trey would tell anyone who was willing to listen, "the bad bacteria and the good. All the saliva and mucous. We need those things to have a healthy, thriving oral microbiome."

“There are 810 rules by the Queen of Hearts,” the Heartslabyul students often joked, “and just as many steps in the vice dorm leader’s teeth cleaning routine.”

"Come on, guys. It's not that long," he'd say. "The dentist recommends two minutes, twice a day. I only take a little more than that to make sure I get in all the crevices..."

Trey counted the seconds as he ran his toothbrushes along his teeth, his gums, his hard palate, his tongue and under it. Five minutes, including flossing and rinsing.

See? Not that long. He’d have to tell his dorm mates when he could.

He held out a hand in front of his mouth and exhaled. A puff of air was trapped for just long enough for him to catch a whiff of minty freshness.

Alright.

Satisfied, he left with his bag and books.

Students peeled down Main Street, on their way to class. He was one of hundreds, living his ordinary life.

And he liked it that way.

Trey squinted. A circle in his vision was out of focus.

He removed his glasses to check for imperfections. And, sure enough, there was a bead of water in the middle of his lenses—likely a stray fleck from when he had been diligently cleaning his mouth. In a blink of that blurred world, he wiped the glasses up and placed them back on his nose.

Everything returned to full clarity.

“Good morning, Trey-senpai!” a voice called out to him.

He slowed his walk, allowing you to match his pace. His mouth cocked to one side as you pulled into view. “Morning.”

There’s a faint cloud hanging around him. Something sweet, yet also bright. Minty sugar, you think, leaning into it. Mmmmm.

“Did you eat breakfast?” Trey asked, and you laughed.

“That’s so dad of you to say.”

“Breakfast is an important meal of the day.” Trey adjusted his frames. A flash of white-his teeth. “So? Did you?”

“Wellllll…” You let your voice trail off.

The white had vanished behind his lips, but your gaze still lingered there. You knew you were staring, but you couldn’t tear yourself away.

“Hey now.” He tapped the rim of his glasses. “My eyes are up here.”

“Oh, sorry!” you startled, face warming. “It’s just… you have a really nice smile. It’s hard not to notice it.”

“Is that right?” He chuckled, easily laughing—not at you, never at you, but with you. “I’m flattered. Most people don’t seem to appreciate one.”

“No one in your dorm?”

“No. I’m pretty sure most of the guys in Heartslabyul think what I do’s a little excessive. Even Riddle doesn’t totally get it.”

“They must be jealous. The results speak for themselves.”

“That’s kind of you. Hey, you know what?" Trey leaned down, cupping a hand to his mouth. His voice was amplified in your ear.

Your heart leapt, thudding like the feet of a rabbit scampering down a dirt path. Your flesh was on fire, though Trey laid not a single finger on you.

"Y-Yes?!"

"I think you have a really nice smile too."

He smirked—and fireworks went off in your head. One, two, three. Colorful flowers blooming in the sky.

Your hands flew to your cheeks, as if that would somehow help to cool you off.

“Haha, are you embarrassed?” Trey’s eyes crinkled, as they always did, when he was amused. “I’m glad I got to see it up close and personal for myself. It was worth it.”

“M-My eyes are up here,” you managed to shoot back. Scathingly, you hoped.

His responding grin was crooked. For a second, you saw the him that hid behind humility, the not-so-kind Trey. His kind, toothy smile laced with a trace of poison.

“My bad. I see now I should’ve been nicer to you.”

“Was that a dad joke?!”

“Maybe. Who’s to know?”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

End Game 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, stalking, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your gaming buddy asks to meet up but it doesn't go exactly as planned.

Characters: Andy Barber

Note: get ready for the hate.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

The tunnel lights up ahead of you, revealing the cubic rock walls as you plant torches in your stead. The eerie soundtrack of night time and the ominous groan of zombies looming somewhere in the cave have you uptight. Silently, you press on, digging and mining mindlessly, fingers mashing the buttons on your controller. 

“Hey, where are you?” Jacob’s voice startles you. 

You nearly forgot you’re playing co-op. You sniff and shake your head, cursing aloud as your shock has you succumbing to the arrow of a sneaky skeleton. You sigh as your possessions scatter and you spawn back in your bed. 

“Back home,” you say glumly, “just ate it.” 

“Ah, damn,” his deep voice rolls in your noise-cancelling headset, “sorry, hope that wasn’t me.” 

“No, I wasn’t paying attention,” you hum and sigh.  

“Ah,” he accepts and lets silence linger before he clicks his tongue, “what’s going on? Everything alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” you put the controller down, your avatar sitting on the geometric bed, “I just...” you stretch your neck and massage your scalp around the thick band of the headset, “got a lot on my mind.” 

“Right. I thought you were all done exams,” he says. 

“I am, but... packing. Going home. I called my old boss and turns out I’m not gonna have a job this summer. Gotta start over,” you yawn and rub your eyes, “what about you? Final exam tomorrow?” 

“Uh... yeah,” he hesitates as if he forgot. You do wonder why he isn’t cramming right now. You could never play minecraft all night the day before a final. “Easy stuff. I’m not worried.” 

You scoff. You wish you could say the same. All you’ve done is worry those last two weeks. Exams, getting home, getting a job. Your grandmother won’t very happy to find out you’ll be slumming it for a while. At least you tucked away some money through the semester. 

“Hey, if you need a few bucks...” Jacob offers. 

“What? Are you crazy? No way,” you exclaim, “really, no, I couldn’t. I’ll be fine. I just... I hate looking for jobs. You know how it is. Friggin awkward.” 

“It’s not a big deal. My dad sent me my birthday money so...” 

“Uh uh,” you deny him again, “that’s way too much. I couldn’t-- we haven’t even met.” 

“Mm, yeah, about that,” he exhales into his microphone, “I, uh, got an extra ticket to this Con. I figured out that’s it like the midway point between us so...” 

“A con? Oh, wow--” 

“Yeah, but I get that it would be expensive so maybe I could pay for your trip?” 

“Jacob,” you wiggle the controller restlessly, “I can't accept that. It’s so nice but... it’s a lot.” 

“I wouldn’t offer it was too much,” his voice is soft, meek, and defeated. You feel bad but you would feel worse taking advantage of his kindness. “We’ve been talking all year. I just figured it would be a good chance to meet up. It would be in public and something we both like so...” 

You scratch your neck as it speckles with heat. You don’t know what’s more insulting; yes or no. 

“Can I think about it?” You ask thinly. 

The line is quiet. You look at the screen and it goes dim from your idling. You hit the analog stick and fix your headphones. 

“Jacob?” You murmur. 

“Sure, think about it,” he says, his voice raspy and rocky. It’s strange. You’ve seen him in pictures and his voice doesn’t really match his appearance. He sounds a lot older than he looks. “It’s next month so lots of time.” 

“I’m sorry,” you cringe. “I just wouldn’t want to waste your money.” 

“Trust me, it wouldn’t be a waste,” he insists, “this last year has sucked. So much. You got me through it all.” His microphone scuffs, “studying, exams, all that stuff. It’s tough making new friends. Seems like everyone here knows each other from high school.” 

“Yeah, totally,” you agree.  

You’re not exactly the most popular person. You have people you know in each class but not too many friends you hang out with outside the lecture hall or library. So far, not too many people want to spend hours mining digital gold or racing cartoon characters around a rainbow track. 

“Well, you should probably get some sleep,” you yawn, “you got your big exam and... I gotta keep packing. Gotta catch the greyhound tomorrow night.” 

“Sure, uh, yeah, right,” his disappointment is potent, “hey, will you text me when you get home? Just so I know you made it.” He snorts, “god, I sound like my dad right now.” 

“Oh, of course,” you chirp back, “I’ll try to remember. Might be late.” 

“That’s fine. Just as long as you let me know.” 

“Don’t worry about me,” you assure him, “not ‘til I have to face my grandma. Ha.” 

“Yeah, good luck with that,” he says, “well... er...” 

“Good night,” you finish for him, “let me know how the exam goes too.” 

“Will do,” his timbre gets even lower, “night.” 

You sign off and shut down the console. Another yawn flows through you and waters in your eyes. You should sleep, you got a long day waiting for you, but you know it won’t be easy. Not with so much on your mind, not least of all, Jacob’s invitation. 

🎮

You text Jacob as you get on the bus, to make sure he doesn’t worry. It’s so sweet that he does, even some of your girlfriends don’t bother that much. Not that you mind the ‘hey, bitch’ Janet sends you every now and again to make sure you’re still alive. 

You fall asleep on the bus. You’ve never been one to sleep while travelling but you’re exhausted from a night of anxious tossing and turning. After spending all day packing up the last of your things and scouring your dorm room, you’re beat to hell. 

It’s midnight as you get to your grandmother’s house. She’s up reading another Stephen King classic in her rocking chair. She’s always been a night owl and a voracious book hound. She grumbles at you but doesn’t bother to ask how your trip was. 

“Hey, grandma,” you hike up your bag and smile.  

She growls again, eyes not leaving the page. You should know better by now not to interrupt her. You shoulder on and head down to the spare room where you spent most of your high-school career. You shut the door gently as the old hardwood floors creak with your weight and you drop your bag on the squeaky bed. 

You fish out your phone and plug it in as the battery flashes red with only two percent left. You leave it on the night table and stretch out, not bothering to change out of your hoodie and jeans. It’s not long before you descend back into the same dreams that marked your journey home. 

You wake up to buzzing. Your phone shakes the nightstand, rattling it against the bed frame. You groan and roll onto your side, reaching blindly for offending object. You hit the side button to dismiss the call.  

You blink away the bleariness and focus on the screen. Along with the missed call are several text messages. You squint as you expand the notifications. Jacob! You forgot to message. 

‘Hey, you home?’ 

‘Checking in. Must be busy getting settled in. Just let me know when you’re safe.’ 

‘Not meaning to be weird but everything okay?’ 

‘Please answer me. I’m worried.’ 

You drag your thumb around the keyboard, letting it predict your words; ‘sorry! I was so tired. Home now and safe 😊' 

Three dots pop up then swoop away. You frown as the same thing happens several times before a response appears. 

‘Was really worried. Thanks for finally answering. Been up all night.’ 

You’re stunned by the terse response. Yeah, you forgot to answer but he doesn’t need to worry that much. You frown and shift onto your side. 

‘Srry again. Tired. Talk in morning. Night.’ 

You turn your phone on silent and plug it back into the cord. You do feel bad but you’re too exhausted to let it keep you up. Besides, you need your sleep. You have lots of job hunting to do in the morning. Not to mention, your grandmother to face. 

🎮

You let Jacob cool down after your return home. Rather, he doesn’t text and you’re too distracted to do the same. As much as you’d like to sit around and game, your grandmother was as disappointed as you expected with your employment status, even when you gave her the money you had left in your emergency fund. 

After a week, you finally get a bite. It’s nothing special. There’s a seasonal ice cream shop in a booth shaped like a vanilla cone that needs a cashier on weeknights. It’s less than full time hours but it’s better than nothing. It will be strange working with high school juniors but you can’t afford to be picky. 

‘Game tonight?’ The text interrupts your first shift. You don’t have a chance to answer as a family approaches the window to order. 

You get them the soft serve and take their payment, bidding them a good evening with their vanilla points already drooping in the summer heat. You glance around at the mostly empty picnic tables. Soccer practice will end soon and you’ll be overloaded with eight-year-olds. 

‘Srry. New job. 1st shift. Maybe tmrw.’ 

‘New job? Congrats. Why didn’t you tell me?’ 

You sigh.  

‘Time got ahead of me.’ 

‘Same. Catch up tomorrow then. Minecraft?’ 

‘Sure. Tmrw.’ 

You slip your phone away. A mother and daughter approach and ask for a sundae and a banana split. As much as you love ice cream, working with it hasn’t tested your cravings very much. In fact, you might be falling out of love with it. The smell of vanilla and overly sweetened strawberries is kind of gross when it’s all you breathe. 

As you watch the happy customers walk away, you smile. Maybe it will be good to get some mining done. It will take your mind off of everything else. Hell, it might even make you feel like you’re doing something useful. 

🎮

“Shit, oh, sorry,” Jacob corrects himself. You always think it's kind of funny how he doesn’t like to swear. “My diamond armor.” 

“Oh no,” you utter, “where are you? I’ll grab your stuff.” 

He gives his coordinates and you turn around, leaping over the green blocks to make your way there. Despite your reticence at the beginning, you’re feeling better about the session. He wasn’t as tense as he seemed in his texts. 

“So, uh, did you think about the con?” Jacob asks. 

“The con? I almost forgot. When is it?” 

He gives the dates and you hum. Your chest flutters at the thought still. You’re not stupid. Meeting people IRL is not like online, no matter how many hours you’ve mined together. As much as you enjoy chatting with Jacob, you don’t know about meeting up. 

“I get it if you can’t get the time off but my offer still stands to cover the trip. If you wanna stay the night, I’ll even get an airBnB.” 

“Oh, wow, that’s a lot. I’m working now. I could put in,” you offer.  

“Is that a yes?” He asks hopefully. 

“I don’t know... I mean, I’ll have to look into it,” you say evasively. “Talk to my boss and grandma and all that.” 

“Right, right,” he tries to sound unbothered, “makes sense. Of course, no pressure. How about I send you the ticket either way? Haven’t got anyone else to bite.” 

“Oh, well, hold off, I wouldn’t want to take it and not use it,” you collect his weapons and armor from the ground in the game. 

It’s silent as you focus on getting every little thing. 

“Sorry, did I freak you out?” He asks, “I’m really not trying to pressure you, just got excited thinking about it.” 

“I know, Jacob, it’s not that, it’s just... a lot.” 

“Totally get it,” he intones, “let me know whenever you got an answer. Uh, where are you? I’m tryna find you.” 

“Just stay there, I'll come back to the house,” you assure him, happy to focus on the game instead. 

Still, you can’t entirely lose yourself in it. You’re sure he’s a nice guy. From pictures, he’s less than scary, and he’s never been anything but friendly. It’s not like the other dudes you meet online who jump to asking about your bra size and all that. It just isn’t smart. 

Well, maybe if you don’t show up alone. You know what con he’s talking about and Kara from Econ lives near there. You could probably convince her to meet up. Hm, that might work. 

Just like you told him, you’ll have to think about it. 

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters Read the Kaladin Chapters

As requested by anon. :)

I once did a post about Stormlight Archive characters reading the Stormlight Archive, which you can find here. This post is similar, except characters are only reading the Kaladin chapters.

(But if you're wondering WHERE Hesina & Lirin are, there're in the first post!)

[Stormlight Spoilers through Rhythm of War!]

1. Adolin

Adolin: So, uh, you and Shallan sure...had a time in those chasms, huh? Kaladin: W-We HAD to huddle together for warmth and stuff! Adolin: [eyes narrowing] Uh-huh. Kaladin: Are you mad? Adolin: Of course I'm mad! Adolin: We've been on TONS of adventures and you've NEVER cuddled ME for warmth! Kaladin: ... Kaladin: That's what you're mad about? Adolin: We are cuddling at the FIRST opportunity we get!

2. Shallan

Shallan: I know that you killed my brother. Shallan: But READING about you killing my brother... Shallan: That was a uniquely horrible experience. Kaladin: I-I had to though. He was killing everyone. Shallan (much too brightly): Oh I know! It's not like I haven't killed my own family members! Shallan: Just saying that if I could still successfully suppress memories, I'd be burying that one! [finger guns] Kaladin: ...This post is giving me whiplash.

3. Elhokar

Elhokar: Um, okay. Wow. Elhokar: So multiple of my guards--including Kaladin Stormin' Stormblessed--really did want to kill me! Elhokar: I was SUCH a bad king that even KALADIN STORMBLESSED wanted to kill me! Elhokar: I'd fall over dead if I hadn't already been MURDERED. Kaladin: I did save you, though. Kaladin: ...The first time, anyway. Kaladin: That has to count for something? Elhokar: Yes, and I was invested enough to see you completely lose it after my actual death so... Elhokar: Let bygones be bygones and all of that. Elhokar: But REALLY. Elhokar: So bad at kinging that even KALADIN STORMBLESSED was in the "kill him" party! Elhokar: Not good for my self-esteem, man. Elhokar: Not good.

4. Bridge 4

Teft: So, lad...that Honor Chasm scene, huh? Sigzil: We knew we were all miserable and angry; we did not know you came so close. Moash: Yeah, you idiot! That was the closest you ever came to dying--by your own hand! Probably the only way you COULD die! Lopen: And it would have meant you didn't meet me, the Lopen! That would have been a tragedy on top of a tragedy! Rock: And no stews either! Skar: What we're trying to say is that we're glad Syl stopped you. Drehy: Yeah. You saved all of us. Kaladin: Guys... Rlain: But also...maybe consider some of that therapy you invented. Lyn: Yeah, for real.

5. Thaidakar

Thaidakar: I should definitely recruit this guy for the Ghostbloods. Thaidakar: Always survives... Never gives up... Collects followers wherever he goes... Thaidakar: This guy could DOUBLE recruitment! Thaidakar: I just need a way to make the Ghostbloods seem honorable...

6. Taravangian

Taravangian: Wow, in a different life, you would have been in Kharbranth, studying medicine. Taravangian: Working at my hosptial. Taravangian: Where I killed people in the basement. Taravangian: ... Taravangian: Very glad that didn't happen.

7. Syl

Syl: I was there, of course. But getting to read it made my realize something... Syl: I literally saved you SO MANY times! Syl: Without me, you never would have made it! Syl: Like, repeatedly! Kaladin: It's true. I needed you. Syl: You may address me as "Syl, my lifesaving savior" forever now. Kaladin: I'm not doing that!

8. Dalinar

Dalinar: You never told me the full story. Kaladin: About what, sir? Dalinar: About how my sending Roshone to a "place where he couldn't do any harm" meant sending him to your actual hometown where he tormented your family and sent your brother to the army where he died. Kaladin: Seemed better not to bring it up. Dalinar: I wish that you had. Kaladin: ... Kaladin: I am surprised that this is your takeaway. Not the fact that I, you know, nearly killed your nephew... Dalinar: You did not kill him. You saved him. Dalinar: If we weighed your almost crimes against my actual crimes, there would be no comparison. I am not one to judge someone else's journey. Kaladin: ... Kaladin: This is where we're supposed to add in some humorous joke to end our dialogue, I think. Dalinar: I don't think that's going to happen. Kaladin: No, I guess not.

[shugar0cone]

“Are we bad people”

-summary-

A y/n x Alastor story where they where the killers Alastor was reporting. Oh and y/n is questioning it.

About a month ago I found out my husband was the killer he obsessed about. My reaction was dumb except for throwing up from the realization on his deer meat being off. I could not believe what I seen but at the same time I knew deep deep down he was it, but i could not come to the term of it. I loved my husband more deep than I should have.

“Alastor?” I looked at him, I never had fear over this man, sure he could kill me but if he wanted too he could, we slept in the same bed for Christ sake. “Yes, my dear.” He was digging the hole for Mr.Johnson, he cheated on his wife when he was on a business trip, too much fat to get real proteins out of him. “Why.” I really had to think of how to word this. He was bi polar snapping from the Alastor I know to the Alastor of the night in the shed. “Why, do we murder.” He stopped his shovel. I tensed, my screams couldn’t be heard this far out, animals would eat me in seconds, and if I ran fuck what am I saying mans got legs of a giraffe. I held alastors shot gun, I was scared, for the first time in my life. The owls stoped hooting, crickets went silent. “Darling.” I snapped out of my thoughts. “We kill the bad people.” I thought about it, he was right. We killed from the whores to child abusers. We did kill the bad, but does that make us good?

Surprise surprise we both ended up in hell. I constantly thought about that night. The night of why, why we killed. Maybe now it’s different, for him it’s power, fear, and entertainment. I just wanted to punish the bad. I was feared as much as AL, having a small area in the pentagram. It was the cleanest and most organized area anyone who disobeyed and called out they met with ME, then never was seen again.

It was late one night. I watched over my people or citizens I don’t know how to put it. Deep in thought, wondering what I’ll do for this, that, and more normal overloard shit.

“Darling why all the sulking!” He popped up out of nowhere I was used to it by this point. “I’m not sulking hun.” I pushed my hair back. “Just.” I breathed out. “Watching the devil ducks fly or..” I cut down twords two ducks fight the other bitting its head off. “What ever those freaks do.” I laughed. “Ah.” He stood right next to me. “I hate it when ya lie, darling.” He got frustrated. “I know you.” He said laughing. He grabbed my chin, looking at me. His eyes made contact with mine, I looked down ashamed of what I’m going to say

“Are we the bad people…”

A/N: Wow! I like this honestly it’s hard bc I’m used to putting oc’s names and not y/n and some might be vague anyways thanks for reading hun!

-Shugar

[drchucktingle]

mr. dr. chuck, i'm a few months ago i told a doc of mine that i believe i'm on the spectrum (after yeeeears of considering all the reasons why i thought so) and she agreed with me. then i came to some conclusions about members of my family. then i started melting down and haven't really recovered.

i'm in my 30's, but my life feels like it's been the mistake-addled 24th year for over a decade. people, choices, wants, they feel like things that were silly blips and not of much substance. i'm tired and my body hurts, so it feels harder to get to things i need. doctors don't seem like they can be trusted because of all the other ways i show up in the world.

i'm worried about my life and my future, and it feels like my magic is gone (or that i can't touch it right now). do you have any words of wisdom for someone who found out this really big thing about themselves kind of late?

thank you.

hello buckaroo thank you for writing. first of all i will say MOST IMPORTANT thing to remember is that it is okay and valid to FEEL the way that you feel. your reaction to this news or any news really is not wrong. that does not mean you cant wish for another reaction or WORK TOWARDS another reaction, but in grand cosmic sense this is just your way. YOUR TROT IS VALID and we all have our own unique way. sometimes that path is an easy path with sunny days and smiles and a glorious view, and sometimes it is through the darkness of shadows or crawling through the old bog. we can PREFER one path over the other, but neither is WRONG.

when giving advice old chuck tries to not PROJECT what i think YOU should do because that is not really the point. this is your trot to trot and i do not think it is my place to act like some authority of your way. what chuck can do is tell you MY story of diagnosis and how it made ME feel and maybe you can take little pieces of that for yourself.

chuck learned of way on autism spectrum when i was in early twenties by doctor who said 'yes this is your way'. when i learned of my spectrum way my reaction was: wow this is very very cool i am so lucky because all of my heroes are autistic and now i am in this RADICAL CLUB. we are special and unique and DANG what a treat wish i could have a membership card in my wallet to show all my buds.

now obviously this is not everyones reaction, but as starting off point i wonder what it would have meant to my future if the news would have HIT ME IN A BAD WAY. if i would have felt let a dang robot alien who didnt belong. maybe id be swimmin through the bog ever since.

thing is I LIKE ROBOT ALIENS they are very cool. doctor did not MAKE me different, i was different already, our talks just popped a nice little name on it for me to take or leave. i took the name proudly because DATA from stars trek (certified robot alien) is exactly how i already felt and dang what a cool character and dang what a great life. so was DAVID BYRNE. so was every cool buckaroo artist that i liked. cowboys are OUTSIDER HEROES and that is how my autism makes me feel.

so like i said, i do not know about YOUR way, but MY WAY of hearing this news was heaps of joy and excitement. i will also say that it is very DIFFICULT to find this reaction later if your first leap is feeling in a sad way about it. so maybe if you want to trot back in your mind to those first few steps it would be helpful. maybe mentally trot to where you were pushed off a dang cliff and think "well was i pushed off a cliff or was i just told 'hey bud youve been floating this whole time?"'

because if youve been floating then DANG thats a lot of power. thats not falling. you can float up, you can float down, you can float side to side.

the next thing i will say AS AND ARTIST is that years of toiling and feeling aimless are NEVER actually aimless when it comes to creation. and to LIVE in a human body is to be an artist, because you are CONSTANTLY CREATING the future. when i am writing and i dont have an idea for my next book that can be frustrating, but it is also PART of the process. if i walk to the store to rustle up my mind, or wander around the park, or spend a whole WEEK feeling weird because of writers block THAT IS ALL PART OF MAKING GREAT ART. that is not wasted time. in other words, your years of toiling are not wasted time, that is just the process we all have when we are creating a future masterpiece.

[ash5monster01]

hello! i was wondering if you could write a neil perry imagine? like he finds the reader at a pond in the woods and he's very curious about her so they start talking or something? idk haha anything works, thank you!

In The Woods

Pairing: Neil Perry x FemReader

Warnings: fluff, minor language, mentions of bullying, minor sexual implication, two lost souls, immediate attraction

Summary: When Neil stumbles upon you in the woods he’s shocked to find that you’re one of the most interesting people he’s ever met.

word count: 1.3k

Masterlist

It’s not often Neil finds himself wandering away from campus, a fear of getting caught stopping him. Yet today is one of those days when he needs a break from everyone. A break from his Dad, his teachers, even his friends. Having been forced into an all boys school at a young age he never found himself with any alone time. So despite the looming danger of demerits, he sneaks away from campus and past the tree-line anyway.

He’s aimlessly walking, not even considering the danger of getting lost when he freezes in place. Not only had he found a clearing that withheld one of the most beautiful ponds he had ever seen, but beside the water line lay a girl in a Henley Hall uniform. Hair fanning around her like a halo, eyes closed, and the softest hum falling from her perfect lips.

Of all the scary things he could’ve come face to face with in the woods, he never expected a girl to be one of them. Unsure what to do he takes a step forward, but much to his luck a stick snaps underneath his weight. The sound alerts her so fast she’s up in an instant, eyes casting over him that make him feel frozen in place. He wonders had it been a beautiful deer, would it have run off already.

“Who are you?” you ask with an accusing tone but the sound of your voice is so angelic he’s positive the apprehension never reaches his ears.

“I-I’m, I was just on a walk, I hadn’t meant to intrude” but your accusing eyes soften when you spot the grey sweater on his form, the Welton symbol etched delicately over his heart.

“Sorry, you just scared me is all. A lot can happen to a girl alone in the woods” you tell him and he nervously chuckles, daring a few steps closer as he comes near you.

“Then why are you out here?” he curiously asks, wondering how he could go so quickly from wanting to be alone to needing to know everything about you.

“Bad day at school, needed some fresh air. It’s sort of comforting when you close your eyes and listen to the trees” Neil can’t help the way his eyebrows furrow, confused as to what you could possibly mean. Trees didn’t make noise.

“I’m not quite sure what you mean” he finally says and you giggle, the sound so light he swears he’d get swept up in it if he wasn’t careful.

“Come here” and your request does not go ignored, he walks over in the slowest speed he can without acting eager before sitting beside you in the grass. “Now lay back and close your eyes”

Neil does as told, following you in perfect movement as you both lay side by side. You’re perfectly silent while Neil takes in the sounds around him. Every few seconds he hears the soft croak of a frog, ripples on the pond, and mostly the wind rustling the leaves on the trees. It sounds like a symphony, music he’s sure no man could ever recreate. For the first time all day he feels his annoyance subside and his heart calm.

“Wow” he breathes, eyes still shut as you turn your head and dare a glance at the cute boy. Of all the spontaneous trips you had made into the woods that separated your two schools, had you ever expected to actually find a boy within it.

“Beautiful right?” you inquire, smiling at him as his own brown eyes open and meet yours. Suddenly becoming aware of the air between you both, you share a nervous laugh, both feeling the connection between you both.

“I’m Neil by the way” he says and you smile, your own name leaving your lips in an introduction. Slowly you watch as his hand lifts from his side, held up between you both. “It’s nice to meet you”

“You to Neil” you agree as your own hand folds into his, a spark igniting in you as Neil focuses on how you said his name like it was your own. Like somehow he now belonged to you.

“I had a bad day today too. I came out here hoping to be alone” Neil admits and you give a pressed smile, releasing your hand and turning your gaze back up to the sky above you.

“I can leave if you still feel that way” you tell him and he shakes his head, eyes widening as he realizes what it had sounded like.

“No, no, I just meant that you had made it better. That maybe I didn’t need to be alone after all” your tension eases as he says this, smiling his direction as your face turns pink. A random boy making you blush had not been on the list for this afternoon.

“Teachers?” you ask and he shakes his head, a shadow casting over his features at the reminder.

“Father actually. He found out I got a C in Science. Said I wasn’t focused enough, that maybe I should consider summer school to get ahead” he admits, eyes cast brightly over the clouds. You nod beside him, knowing exactly what it was like having the pressures from school and family on your shoulders.

“I’m sorry, if it makes you feel better though, the most popular girl in school spread a terrible rumor about me. I heard people whispering all day” you tell him and his features immediately soften towards you, knowing exactly what it was like to feel so down from what others thought.

“Was it bad?” Neil asks and you sigh, hands folding together over your stomach as you look up at the sky. Thanking gravity for keeping the tears at bay.

“Yeah. Something about how I had relations with a teacher to get good grades. Yet I figure she’s just jealous that I passed the English test and she didn’t” you tell him and what you don’t expect is his hand to fall on top of your own.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that” and you swear it’s the most earnest thing anyone has ever said to you.

“Thank you, I’m sorry you have to go to summer school” your words illicit a laugh Neil cannot help, smiling widely at you beside him. He swears he has never seen anyone more beautiful.

“It’s not so bad, especially now that I know about here so I can escape” he tells you and you smile, images of you meeting him here for the rest of the school year playing on loop. A hopeful gleam in your eye.

“I’m happy to share my hiding place with you anytime Neil” you tell him and he grins, thankful it wasn’t just him who wanted more of this moment.

“What’re you gonna do when you get back to school?” he asks and you shrug, hand mindlessly lacing with his own and moving between you both.

“Try my best not to pull her hair, ignore it probably. Nothing else I can really do” you say and Neil tries to hide how his heart hammers in his chest, speeding up with every brush of your fingers against his.

“Or you could tell them something else just as bad” he suggests but even you can tell he’s not the kind of boy who favors revenge. It makes you laugh anyway, what he had probably intended to do all along.

“Would you maybe want to hangout here again Neil, say 4 o’clock tomorrow?” you ask daringly, not wanting to lose your nerve and he smiles wide, hand squeezing your own.

“I’ll be here” he says and somehow that comforts you enough to dare go back to school and face all the mean words about you. For you had come out here in search of peace and instead had found a friend.

“Good, I’ll be counting on it”

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Hi👋

Why does Bella refuse to remember and/or admit that Ed intentionally killed and ate people? It is mentioned, he told her about it, but she shows no fear, no disapproval, nothing at all. Why?

I mean, she does neither of those things.

She both remembers he did this, admits it, she just doesn't care/doesn't think it concerns her or is all that concerning of a thing.

Edward tells her about this in great angst, the years he... gave into temptation, expecting her to run out the door (as he expected her to with many of the things he admits) and she goes "wow, that's a story" and then Edward decides he is not going to push his luck here.

See, Edward's long since in his redemption arc. He doesn't eat people anymore, see. And even when he did, being a vampire and not eating people is really hard and Bella understands that. And Edward at least tried to only eat bad people, so that's points for something, right?

Though to give Bella credit, Edward tells this story himself in the kindest way to himself he possibly could. He doesn't go into details, he doesn't list exact numbers/is very vague about the... many people it was, he insists his victims were all bad and does admit "but I do realize this was wrong and made me just as terrible" and he very quickly moves past it. And Bella is not partial, she wants to love Edward, and so she wants to frame everything he says as being wonderful/good/or at least not that bad.

What Edward describes is safely decades in the past, it was only regarding 'bad' people, it sounds like vampire thirst is really hard and Edward's family is very impressive for sticking to it so she decides it's not something that should worry her.

As it is, Bella is... perhaps a bit too understanding of any vampire that eats people throughout the series as sure, she prefers if people do it the Cullen way, and thinks the Volturi are deplorable for their tourist eating scheme, but she has 0 problem with the many vampires that show up in Breaking Dawn and sure do eat a lot of people.

Not to mention the time she asks why the Cullens even bother not to eat people if it's so difficult and unrewarding and Edward just... stares at her.

The thing about Bella that can be a good thing or a bad thing (but is couched in the series as a good thing always) is that she's very accepting of people on a personal level if she likes them. As such, Bella's friends and family are forgiven their every flaw, not limited to eating people, and people Bella doesn't like are... not forgiven for that time they went on a terrible movie outing together that was entirely Bella's fault.

And I do have to increasingly wonder...

How many of you anons just watched the movies? Because a good number of you show up with questions that are very much addressed in the books but just get weird one-off lines or are never explained in the films.

[gilbirda]

The Wonderous Beauty of the Statuesque Scarlet

Jazz knew she was tall. It wasn't like it affected her life or anything (sarcasm). It wasn't like she didn't end dates early because the dude asked her if it was really necessary for her to wear heels. Yes, she was tall. And strong. On top of that, she had duties as Ghost Princess, so finding a partner was not easy for her. Or so she thought until a guy just her type bumps into her and completely bluescreens.

[Read on AO3][Read on FF]

----

Jazz knew she was tall.

Even when she was in the waiting line of, let’s say, the bank and an old lady commented “wow you are tall!”; even when a date ended early because the guy kept asking why she had to wear heels if she was already tall; even when Danny threatened to kick her shins complaining about her inheriting their dad’s genes.

Yes. She was well aware she was very tall.

Thank you very much for pointing it out.

She was happy with her height, now — she had accepted that kids would look at her in awe and comment on her height, and that some would ask if she was an Amazon. And you know what? She embraced it now. Yes, she was tall, and big, and her biceps were noticeable — but that wasn’t because she was an Amazon, but because of all the training and the fighting that being the older sister of the King of the Ghosts entailed.

Not that she could say that out loud.

The thing is she was used to people stopping and staring at her, craning their necks and lifting an eyebrow, looking back down to check if suddenly the flat shoes she was wearing had magically turned into impossible high heels that explained her height.

What she wasn’t used to, though, was making a man completely bluescreen.

“Oops, sorry.” She quickly rushed to grab the dude’s arm when he stumbled after colliding with her.

“Uh…”

“I should have seen where I was going, sorry.”

He just kept looking up at her, eyes wide, body frozen in place. There wasn’t a single coherent thought behind those blue eyes. She would know, she was a psychologist.

“Are you alright?”

“Huh?”

She bit her lip, wondering what to do. This had never happened to her before.

“I… uh, I’m fine.” He finally blinked and came back to his body. She didn’t miss his eyes roaming towards her naked arms, and the bracelets on her wrists, official Wonder Woman merchandise.

“Ok. Then I should just—”

“Do you like coffee?”

She blinked. He blinked, slowly realizing what he said. His cheeks tinted a bit red in embarrassment.

“I’m more of a tea gal.” Jazz giggled, enjoying this maybe way too much. He was cute all flustered. It was a nice change from all the bullshit she got from men all the time.

“Do you want to— uh, I mean.” He breathed in, breathed out, gathering his thoughts. “What I want to say is, do you want to go for coffee — or tea! — with me?”

“Like, right now?”

She looked around. They were right in front of a coffee shop. He had been on his way in when she accidentally body slammed him.

“No! No. Not right now.” He looked away back at one of the tables set up on the street. Jazz turned to look as well, trying to see what he was looking at. “Maybe some other time?”

It felt nice being hit on like this. Refreshing.

Also, it helped that he was cute, and handsome in a bad boy way, with a leather jacket and combat boots. She wasn’t scared to admit to herself that she had a type and he checked a lot of boxes in her list.

“I would love to!”

She quickly searched in her purse for some paper — an old restaurant ticket — and a pen and wrote her number and her name, with a little smiley face.

“Here,” she grabbed his hand and put the paper with her number in it, closing his fingers around the ticket, just in case. Her hands were usually cold, a side effect of her liminality, but she hoped he assumed it was because of the weather. “I have to go, but text me soon!”

He smiled back at her, and Jazz knew she was a goner. He had this boyish crooked smile with a hint of a dimple.

She hoped he texted her back, once the awe of her height had passed.

***

“So…”

“Shut up.”

“I mean—”

“I said shut up, Dickhead.”

“She’s cute.”

Jason growled, his hands fiddling with the piece of paper with a phone number in it. He had to text her. Soon. If he waited then she would get the wrong idea that he wasn’t interested and he was very interested—

“She’s tall, huh?” His brother kept going, unprompted. “Did you see those muscles? I bet she could snap me in half. Hell, she could snap you in half.”

Yes. He had seen those arms. He had imagined them around him already.

“What are you waiting for? Text her!”

“We have a case to look over, though.” He tried to put the paper with the phone number in his jacket, but Dick was quicker and stole it from his hands.

“Jasmine. It’s a pretty name.” He hummed, considering. “Jasmine and Jason. It has a nice ring to it. Also both names start with J, funny coincidence, don’t you— Jay? What’s wrong?”

Jason had stopped listening, his mind going back to the conversation with her. He had been ridiculous and messed up everything; but did he really mess up something so simple?

“I forgot to tell her my name.”

Dick’s eyebrows went to his hairline, his lips stretching in a big smile. “That bad, huh?”

“Shut your mouth, Grayson.”

His reaction only made his brother’s smile get bigger, if that was physically possible. He placed his elbows on the table and rested his head on his open palms.

“Could this be love at first sight?”

“You know that doesn’t exist—”

“You are now living in a Hallmark movie, Jay.” Dick sighed dramatically. “So romantic.”

Jason breathed slowly, controlling his thoughts. If he got riled up by the teasing, he would only get even more teased and then the conversation would go nowhere useful. They had to compare notes for a case, it was kind of the whole point of meeting up with his brother, and both had things to do after this.

Jason thought the whole thing could have been an email; but again, if Dick hadn’t insisted on meeting at the coffee place because it was nice outside, he wouldn’t have gotten the phone number of the prettiest girl he had the pleasure of stumbling into.

“I’m living vicariously through you, just so you know.”

“Fuck off, Dickhead,” Jason snatched back the paper with the number and checked that it was still in one piece and the numbers hadn’t been smudged by his brother. It was fine. Even the cute smiley face drawing next to “Jasmine” was intact. “Let’s get to work.”

“I would, but someone forgot to get me my coffee~”

Oh shit.

Really?

Did he really forget to order their drinks? The one thing he had walked away from the table for?

Jason let his head fall onto the table, ignoring the laughs and giggles coming from his brother.

***

>>Hey.

>>Um

>>I'm Jason, the guy from the coffee shop?

>>Sorry for taking so long to text, I had stuff to do

>>Anyway, what do you think about next friday around 5?

>>You name the place

Jazz couldn’t help but smile down at her phone, reading back on the conversation with Jason.

She appreciated that he let her choose the meeting place, which was a good sign. After suggesting a nice coffee place that worked as a library as well, he commented he loved that place too and asked her if she had taken a book from there.

Turns out he loved books too, and didn’t shy away from any genre of literature — from classics to modern trashy romance.

His favorite author was Jane Austen. He tried not to geek too much, but after sending her a photo of his first edition Pride & Prejudice, that had a lot of sticky notes and his own annotations, she knew he was a big Austen nerd.

The contrast was more shocking when he turned up with a biker leather jacket, a white shirt, jeans and the same combat boots. He was combing back his flattened curls, complaining about parking in Gotham and that he hoped he didn’t make her wait too long.

She had to wait, but only because she arrived fifteen minutes earlier than the meeting time.

Not that she would tell him.

Jazz felt her mind become fuzzy as she watched him smile that crooked smile again, complimenting her carefully put together outfit — shut up Danny, she wasn’t trying to impress anybody — and the braid she spent so long trying to get right, undoing and redoing it.

“I have a sister that likes braiding her hair, and a friend of the family that usually comes over as well. They always complain when I don’t do it right.”

“Did they teach you how to braid?”

He chuckled, taking a sip of his latte. “Actually, funny enough, my little brother taught all of us. His mother let him do her hair and made him practice until he got it right.”

Jazz had a pinch in her chest like every time loving mothers were mentioned. “That’s nice,” her voice betrayed nothing as she looked down at her hands cupping her tea. “I tried to teach my little brother, but he didn’t have much interest.”

“Too girly for him?” He lifted an eyebrow, leaning in with a tiny smile so she knew he was joking.

She appreciated the change in topic, and she liked the opportunity to talk about Danny. “Nah. I mean, he had a ‘ugh, girls suck’ phase and stuff, but fortunately it didn’t last long.” Because then he had to become a superhero, but she couldn’t exactly say that.

Both laughed a little before a comfortable silence settled in their table. A few times their eyes met over the lids of their cups, making Jazz blush and look away.

“So… have you read anything interesting lately?”

From then on the conversation barely stopped. Jazz had never talked that much before, at least not about her favorite books and why she liked them. Jason listened, actually listened to what she said and added his own comments and corrections, no matter what she threw at him, showing he was also interested in the same things.

He talked as well, mentioning his own first edition collection and how his father let him have a private library with all the books he wanted. He talked around some topics, like his childhood or stuff about his father, but she didn’t want to pry. It didn’t feel shady, more like… it felt familiar, not wanting to bring up painful memories. She could understand that.

They asked for more coffee and more tea, and those chocolate chip cookies that looked delicious, talking and debating about the pros and cons of reading on a kindle or paperback.

The sun was low by the time they finished their drinks and the cookies, and neither really wanted to go home just yet. Jazz’s stomach grumbled. She was so hungry and the cookies only helped to awaken her stomach.

“Wanna… go have dinner?”

She looked up at him, blushing a little. “A coffee and a dinner date? You really are the full package.”

His cheeks tinted a bit red, but he didn’t look away. “Would hate to cut the night short when I’m enjoying my conversation with a beautiful lady.”

Jazz felt her cheeks catch fire. Jason had been cute and kind the whole time, but this was the first actual “move” he pulled on her.

And it was working.

She wanted to continue.

At her approval, they paid the bill — split in half, and he didn’t make a fuss about it. Good — and walked back out to the cold night in Gotham.

Jazz shivered a little. Maybe a flowery summer dress wasn’t the best for the night, but she didn’t expect being out so late. Time really flies when you are having fun, huh?

“Not used to Gotham's micro climate?” He commented.

She looked back at him, stopping her hands rubbing her naked arms. She had noticed he liked her arms so maybe the dress didn’t have sleeves. So what.

“How did you know I’m not from around here?”

“It’s obvious you’ve been in the city for a while, but your midwestern accent still stands out.” So he was observant, and had been analyzing her as much as she did him. “Do you want my jacket?”

It was so cliché that she just giggled. “Sure, if you don’t mind.”

Jason took off his jacket and extended it to her. It fit her frankly well! He was a bit shorter than her but he was more built and had wider shoulders, so the jacket sat comfortably on her body and gave her enough room around her arms and, thank the Ancients, around her chest. Maybe she should look around the men's section of the clothing store instead of getting frustrated with women’s clothing that never fit correctly.

“Thank you,” she said with a smile, which he acknowledged with a nod.

Now that he didn’t have the jacket, she could admire how the white shirt he wore left little to the imagination. It wasn’t too tight, but it creased in the right places and it let his muscular arms really shine.

He hit the gym regularly, that was obvious, but he wasn’t obsessed about it. He carried himself with the confidence of someone that knew what they had and didn’t need to make a show to get attention. Still, he carried himself with certain deliberateness — relaxed shoulders, quiet steps, head slightly down.

Jazz was used to Danny employing the same techniques to separate himself from his Phantom persona, to not be noticed just in case someone looked too close.

She was willing to set aside the thought. After all, Jason had been a delight the whole time and she had noticed many green flags in the time they talked. If he wanted to hurt her or if he was involved in shady stuff, she would have known already.

Also, it wasn’t like he could overpower her. She was strong. Stronger than a human, even with his size and probable training.

And Danny always said she needed to live a little. Maybe that meant dating around a bit, get to know new people, sleep with a cute guy—

Wow. That came out of nowhere.

She blushed, realizing she did like this guy. Enough to consider letting her hair loose a little. They were consenting adults, right? If he was interested and she was interested, then why not?

“Where do you want to eat dinner?” He asked as they arrived at his parked bike. And what a bike! She wasn’t an expert in these things, but it looked expensive and well maintained — well loved.

“I chose the coffee place, you choose the dinner place?” She shrugged, and the movement sent a puff of his scent to her nose. He smelled like gunpowder and engine oil.

Jason nodded and opened a side trunk to withdraw the helmets, giving her one. It was crimson red, matching the bike. “Alright, I know a place.”

***

Jazz was beautiful.

From the moment he arrived — finding her sitting at the table, looking at her phone — he understood why so many writers and poets could go on about the beauty of their partners. It would sound cliché, but his mind started comparing her soft looking skin to flower petals, and the pink of her lips—

Stop, Jason.

He knew she was smart and shared some interests with him, but he got the impression she was the shy kind over text and preferred meeting in person. He’d hoped that this date gave him a better insight into her character.

So they talked. For hours.

Honestly he didn’t have ulterior motives for this meeting. If it went well, he was interested in knowing her more, that’s for sure. It had been a while since he just hung out with someone for non-work related issues, and dating wasn’t really one of his priorities; but if this Amazon goddess liked his company as much as he had liked hers so far, he was willing to try.

The restaurant he took her to was cozy and not that well known, but the food was great. When they got there he couldn’t help but notice how she attracted everyone’s gaze, how her height and her beauty were such a beacon of light for the people around her.

She didn’t seem to care, though — her eyes were either fixed on her hands fiddling with the hem of the sleeves of his jacket or on him as she talked about the latest movie she had seen.

They sat down in a relatively secluded corner of the restaurant, the soft light hanging on the wall giving it all a romantic touch that was just perfect for the occasion.

Jazz took off his jacket now that they were indoors, and he lamented not taking a picture of her flowery dress and biker jacket combo. Maybe she would want to wear it again. He hoped so.

Silver lining, now she had her arms uncovered again, letting him — subtly — admire her biceps and her bracelets. She confirmed it was a Wonder Woman official jewelry line, and that she bought it to be funny but now was too committed to the bit.

Dinner was nice as well. After warming up at the café and talking about anything and everything, dinner felt a bit more personal, a bit of a deep insight of themselves.

She talked about her brother a lot. About her passion to become a great psychologist and the steps she had been taking towards her dream. About her parents — albeit she tried not to “be a bummer” and “get all depressed on such a nice date”.

She had a past she wasn’t ready to share, and he respected that, so he only kept his questions about her passion, her work and more stories with her brother.

It was around dessert that the conversation ramped down into more and more silence — not because they didn’t have things to say, but because, at least for him, the way the fairy lights illuminated her face was very distracting.

They shared a chocolate cake slice for dessert. She had a bit of chocolate on the corner of her lips, but she didn’t notice.

He didn’t think about his next move, he just leaned in over the tiny table and kissed the chocolate away. It helped that they had unconsciously gotten closer as they talked.

Her face was flushed when he sat back down on his chair, licking his lips. The cake was good, but her red cheeks looked tastier.

He wanted more.

“Um—”

Maybe she didn’t want more?

Jazz looked a bit lost for a second, her mouth open as she thought of what to say.

“Yeah?” He lifted an eyebrow.

She scrunched her nose, apparently having decided, and this time she leaned over the table, grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him into a proper kiss.

Her kiss was timid, like she didn’t want to scare him away or expected him to push her away any moment. When seconds passed and instead of rejecting her, he placed his hand on the base of her head to angle her better, she got braver and bolder, pressing her lips against his with a little more intensity than before.

She wanted him.

“Ahem!” A throat was cleared next to them, breaking the moment.

Jazz jumped back to her seat, her face completely red, looking down at the table like she had done something wrong.

Jason smiled up at the waiter, who was smiling politely but completely insincere. He knew this waiter, they weren’t friends, but Jason knew he had a little brother and that he was a student at Gotham University.

“Is the food to your liking?”

“Very.” He wasn’t talking about the food. The waiter’s eyebrow twitched, but his smile stayed in place. “Can we please get the check?”

“Right away, sir.”

Jason didn’t even look at how much everything was, his eyes glancing back at Jazz’s face and her lips — the way she was biting them, the way her eyes were eating him whole.

The walk back to the bike was quieter, with many stops to kiss and many burning side glances and handholding. He couldn’t get enough of her giggles every time he pulled her down for a quick kiss, or the feel of her hands on his shoulders, her strong arms around him.

Finally they reached the bike, safely parked on a quiet alley. It was late and no one was around, so he pulled her into the shadows for a more proper kiss, letting himself get lost in the taste of chocolate on her tongue.

Jazz was biting her lip when they parted for air, mischief in her eyes, which should have warned him of what she would do next. The world spun for a second as she grabbed him by the shoulders, switching their positions and slamming him against the wall with maybe a bit more strength than was necessary.

A traitorous moan escaped his throat.

“Oh?” She smiled. Of course she heard him.

“Don’t say a word.”

Her smile got wider. “Okay.”

In the heat of the moment she got bolder. She kissed him without any ounce of the shyness she had during their date — she was ravenous, eating him completely, holding him firmly against the brick wall.

He was warm, too warm, and the cold wind was starting to get uncomfortable.

“Do you… wanna continue?”

Jazz nodded, panting. “Your place or mine?”

***

The sun was shining right on her face, and since she was an early riser, no matter her activities last night, she was now wide awake.

That didn’t mean she had to get up from bed just yet. Because she didn’t want to.

Jason was also awake in her arms as they enjoyed the quiet lazy morning, hearing each other breathe, feeling each other’s warmth.

It was quiet in the apartment, a big contrast to the night they spent together. Jazz blushed and nuzzled her face against Jason’s curls in an attempt to hide from the world. She really got carried away, but there was something about him that made it impossible to resist — they only had one date, for Ancients’ sake.

He was so sweet and caring and cute and handsome and very irresistible. She just couldn’t stop, didn’t want to stop, and more than once she had to catch herself before she hurt him or did anything that was obviously inhuman. If she slipped, she hoped he forgot about it, too buried under the pleasure and the distracting activities from last night.

Jazz was positive that she had left some scratches and bites on him, and a quick look confirmed that his back and shoulders were—

Wait.

These looked at least a day old, almost completely healed. She knew wounds, she knew how long it took for a human to heal from what she did to him, and this was closer to what she expected from Danny’s partners’ healing factor.

She tried to not freak out, but he noticed her tense up.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

He turned around, eyes searching to see what was wrong, clearly not buying her shaky voice.

She saw the moment he noticed something was wrong about her, his eyes going down her face and staying on her neck, one hand reaching to touch the skin on her left shoulder. She could still feel the ghost of the bite in that area, a bite that probably had already healed by the morning.

By the way Jason’s eyes went wide, she knew he noticed the inconsistency.

Uh oh.

“What—?”

“I can explain.” He should, too, since he wasn’t normal either. Maybe he wasn’t human?

Not that it would make her less interested, but she was curious.

“Are you a metahuman?”

Jazz made a face. “Technically, no.”

He narrowed his eyes and shuffled away from her, his body tense. “What are you?”

“Something else.” She didn’t want to keep it vague, but she didn’t know who he was or who he could be working for. “And you?”

Jason’s eyes narrowed further at the accusatory tone. Jazz didn’t like how the quiet morning had turned to this, but if her security — and Danny’s — had been compromised, she had to push her feelings for Jason to the side. Danny was more important.

“You targeted me?” He now had a knife. Where did that come from? “Was the whole ‘date’ thing a set up?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

His eyes flashed green for a second. If she blinked, she would have missed it. “Don’t lie—”

“Wait.”

“What?”

Jazz lunged in, ignoring the very real and very sharp knife Jason had in his hands. If he stabbed her it would heal in a minute.

She placed her hands on his face, focusing, trying to see in the blue if the green would manifest again. She ignored him as he started to protest — vaguely registering that he put the knife away — humming in thought. Just to test, she let her core send a ping, a small wave of energy, only meant to say ‘hello’ to nearby ectoentities.

Jason somehow answered back, his eyes becoming green for a second.

“— the actual fuck is going on?”

Jazz blinked and came back to the situation, finally noticing she was almost straddling the man, her hands gently but firmly cradling his head. And she was still naked.

“You died.”

Jason’s cheeks had been slightly tinted pink, but now he was white as a sheet.

“How—”

“We’re the same,” Jazz made a face, “technically. I haven’t died, yet, but I do have one foot in the grave so to speak.”

“And you think we’re the same because…” He wasn’t believing her fully, but just enough to not pick up the knife again.

“Your eyes, they do this.”

She let her power flow freely, not needing to hide her inhumanity anymore. She saw the moment he understood, because his tense body relaxed and basked in her presence, her emotions projecting the calm and slight joy at finding someone like her.

His eyes swirled green in response to hers.

“I… I don’t—” he tried to speak through the stupor, “I’ve never—”

“You didn’t know?” About liminality, about ghosts, about people like her.

He licked his lips, blinking to refocus. “What are you?”

He really didn’t know. Someone would pay for letting him wander alone without guidance.

“I am Jasmine Nightingale, a liminal human.” His eyebrows went to his hairline. “I was born human but events led to me becoming deeply acquainted with the dead and everything in between. Like you.”

Maybe it was the influence of her aura still filling the room, or her serene voice, but he believed her.

“So you approached me—”

She hated that he looked hurt at the thought.

“I didn’t target you. I didn’t know you were like me until just now — I usually seal my liminality when I’m in the living world.” One of her hands moved to grab the white streak that now looked so obviously inhuman. “I should have known,” she chuckled, “the only good guy I manage to have a decent date with is not completely human.”

He frowned at her comment, making her freeze. Jazz quickly recoiled and withdrew her power, watching as he noticed the change.

There were a few moments of silence where she let go of him and waited as Jason pondered the new information.

His eyes were blue when he looked back up. “You’re not quite human,” she nodded. One of his hands lifted to touch her face, as if he was trying to make sure she was still the same person. “And I’m like you.”

“Kinda.”

He hummed. Birds chirped outside, reminding her that this was supposed to be a quiet morning in bed with the cute date she somehow scored. Nothing can be simple with her, huh. Figures.

“You really didn’t know about me?”

It was something in his eyes when he said it — a guarded sadness. She had seen that look a few times on their date, usually when he obviously changed the topic of conversation. He had been hurt before, and he lived life waiting for the moment someone else would hurt him again.

“I swear on my life, Jason. I only said yes to the date because I thought you were cute. Nothing else.”

His mouth twisted. “I’m not cute.”

“Yes you are.”

He rolled his eyes, letting go of her face and slumping back to rest on the pillow. “Am not.”

She leaned in, her long hair sliding over her shoulder and making a barrier that shielded them from the sunlight coming from the window. She felt his eyes roam through her face and down her body, reminding her that she was as naked. And so was he.

When he looked back up, his gaze was burning with reignited desire.

“Should I spend this fine morning convincing you?”

His breath hitched, the muscles of his stomach tensing in anticipation. “Nothing you can do will change my mind.”

Jazz’s smile widened when she caught the playful tone in his voice. He wanted this. He wanted to continue. And maybe a repeat of last night.

Alright then.

This time she didn’t need to hold back.

She let her hands rest on his shoulders, pinning him down to the mattress. She used a bit more strength than what was necessary, but not enough to hurt; just enough to make the point that if she wanted, she could do so much more.

By his sudden blush going all the way up to his ears, he got the message.

Jazz licked her lips, ready to devour that cute smile and every sound she could force out of it.

***

“Are you sure about this?”

“Positive.”

Jazz looked down at their entwined hands, squeezing Jason’s fingers, trying to ground herself.

It was silly being this nervous — it wasn’t like they were teenagers. If her boyfriend’s family didn’t approve of her they couldn’t actually do anything. Not that they would disapprove. Jason was sure they would love her, he told her so too many times on different occasions.

But it was… an experience. Knowing that your boyfriend of a few months was part of the Waynes. She usually forgot because Jason didn’t frequent the Manor and had a life outside of the glitz and glamor, so it had never affected their relationship.

That was until they learned about her existence — Jason didn’t hide her, but he wasn’t going to share every bit of his personal life — and asked if she wanted to come over to dinner one day.

Jazz didn’t mind, so she said yes. After all, Jason already knew Danny and had “passed the vibe check”, Danny’s words, so she took it as a sign that it was fine if they became official-official.

Still, she was very nervous. This relationship had been the longest she ever had and she knew how important family approval was and it didn’t matter that Jason was a bit estranged from the family, it did matter for her anyway and—

“I can hear you panic from here.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“No. You don’t.” She rolled her eyes. “Are we doing this or not?”

Jason narrowed his eyes at her, not believing her at all, but let it slide. There was no point in arguing at the door.

“It will be fine.” He leaned so he could whisper. “They can be a lot but they’re harmless. Also I’ll protect you.”

She looked at him funny. Both knew she was the stronger one between them, a fact he very much enjoyed, so he didn’t mean it as in physical protection.

Jazz breathed slowly, taking in the offering of support. Jason would be there, he wouldn’t let them be mean to her.

Why the hell would they be mean to her? Silly Jasmine. They were just a family. Stupid rich, famous celebrities and very public faces in Gotham — but Jason’s family nonetheless.

She got this.

At her nod, Jason rang the bell and immediately it was opened by the butler. Alfred, if she remembered correctly. Was he on the side of the door, waiting?

“Welcome home, master Jason,” he nodded at them, “and Miss Jasmine.”

“Jazz is fine.”

The butler smiled, clearly not having any intention of using the nickname. Jason had warned her that Alfred could be a “petty motherfucker”, but that it was to the people he liked. She took it as a good sign.

“Please, come in.”

Jazz took another deep breath and walked into the gigantic Manor and straight into the fray. Maybe literally.

Inside there were so many people just looking at her, analyzing her, with various curious expressions.

“Told you she was real.” She heard what was supposed to be a quiet whisper, and a blonde girl elbowed a black haired guy next to her. Stephanie and Tim, going by Jason’s descriptions; which while colorful and varied in expletives depending on how mad he was at them, were actually very accurate. “Pay up, bitch.”

The guy grumbled but placed a few bills in her awaiting hand.

Jazz had to chuckle. That was weird, but funny. It made her relax a little.

“Ah, Jasmine, right?”

The voice made her look away from the people watching her like she was some kind of exotic animal (truly, what the hell was so interesting about her?) to find—

No.

It couldn’t be.

Could it?

Her liminal boyfriend’s adoptive father couldn’t be the actual Batman.

But the aura was the same, the same height and build, the same slight touch of death. Her eyes were sharp enough to catch the almost invisible and well healed scars on the man’s chin and the ones peeking from the black turtleneck.

He carried himself differently too, more relaxed, and if she wasn’t already onto him she would have been fooled.

Jazz smiled and shook the hand he offered, making a conscious effort to not squeeze his hand and reveal herself too quickly just to be petty. That was Danny’s thing. For now she would observe and behave like the perfect girlfriend.

They did make it hard, though. The whole Wayne clan was not what you’d expect from Gotham’s high society and acted more like a bunch of misbehaving kids in an unsupervised classroom.

It made sense now how Jason was so… so different than what you’d expect from the son of a socialite. At first he acted a bit guarded and checked that she didn’t take all the prodding and roughing between siblings and family friends badly; but once she laughed at the insanity he relaxed and let himself be part of the bickering like he belonged there.

She watched them interact, noticing the details that made it obvious now that the whole flock was a bat or bird — the question is who was who.

As she tried to play Guess Who with the Gotham heroes, it slowly dawned on her that Jason was another hero too. All the canceled dates and dodged questions about what he did in his free time. All his secrets and poorly disguised attempts at being subtle fit together in a single picture.

The Red Hood.

Danny was going to flip. If Jason hadn’t “passed the vibe check” already he definitely would have now.

Which she was more than fine with, if Jason was Red Hood. It actually made it easier for her to introduce him to the remaining secrets she was keeping from him until Danny gave the okay. After that night’s dinner, something told her that he would be fine with revealing herself to Jason.

Maybe Batman would stop being so difficult in the League meetings. The man had a thousand questions and didn’t trust anything they said, always asking for a second and third opinion. It didn’t become an open animosity because it was obvious it came from a place of caution and not hatred, but made the meetings drag for hours and Jazz’s royal armor was very uncomfortable to wear for so long.

Bruce didn’t seem to make the connection yet. If he did he was a great liar, because he did a one eighty from the dark vigilante and League member that drilled her and her brother with questions. He was more like… a hopeful puppy. Glancing between Jason and her, watching every touch and casual caress like a hawk.

Jason had mentioned that his relationship with his father had been very bad for a long time, but that they were working on it. Maybe he hoped that being nice to her got him cookie points in his son’s mind.

Whatever the case, she was going to have fun with this. As a treat.

***

Jasmine was… very tall.

Bruce’s mind was still repeating the moment she entered the Manor.Even at his six foot two he had to look up to smile at the guest. Not that he disliked tall women or thought that it was a bad thing, it was just an observation — maybe she was secretly an Amazon? Jason said he had looked into her enough to know that wasn’t the case; and had threatened with blowing up the Batcave if he dared investigate his girlfriend, so Bruce just observed. For now.

But she was too soft to be an Amazon, Bruce decided as the evening progressed. She smiled easily and didn’t have that constant battle-ready stance the Amazons he knew had. So he relaxed with the idea that Jason genuinely liked this civilian woman, she honestly liked him back, and she could be a good thing for his son.

If only he could shake the nagging thought that she felt familiar. Had they met before? He would remember meeting such a woman with striking red hair. She was definitely not a hero or Jason would have introduced her as such; nor she was a person that frequented the social circles Brucie Wayne did, given her humble origins and honest, hardworking job as a therapist.

It was something in her eyes, he considered by the time dinner was served. They were a shade of blue he had never seen before, and with the right light he could almost glimpse green highlights, but from this distance he couldn’t be sure.

In any case, Bruce decided she was good. Family oriented, unafraid to say what she was thinking, and with a dark sense of humor that Jason was completely smitten with. Bruce knew that look, his son was a goner whether he knew it or not.

She fit perfectly in their family, he decided as well, watching her bicker with Stephanie about some celebrity drama that Bruce didn’t know about, taking the knife Jason was waving in Tim’s direction without even looking at her hands. She flowed with ease in the chaos and had an answer for any question without revealing anything about herself she wasn’t willing to say. Among a family of detectives, that took some skill.

Bruce was curious about her, about where she came from, but for his son’s sake he was ready to set his paranoia aside and trust that she wasn’t secretly a villain.

He did such a good job once he made the decision, up until they were saying their goodbyes. Bruce was pleasantly surprised when Jasmine– when Jazz hugged him instead of doing a handshake. Her arms were firm around him and her height let her comfortably rest her head against his, a soft gesture far removed from Diana’s strong hugs against her muscled chest.

Jazz took a breath and said: “See you on Monday, B.”

This puzzled him. Monday? Why would he see her on Monday? Bruce was not needed anywhere on that day; in fact, Batman was supposed to be in Watchtower duty on Monday. And the follow up meeting with the King of the Ghosts.

When they parted, surrounded by the noise of the others messing around and bickering with Jason, it dawned on him as he saw her eyes from this close.

Green.

They glowed slightly green, unnaturally green, if you saw them this close. Her skin was pale, with freckles that reflected stars under the house’s lights.

He knew someone else that fit all of these characteristics, someone in his life as Batman.

Jasmine smiled widely, watching him put it together with mischievous glee. She patted his shoulder a little bit too hard for what was considered normal, and walked away to join her boyfriend out of the Manor.

Paralyzed, Bruce watched them go.

***

Jazz giggled against her hand, trying not to be too obvious.

“What’s so funny?”

“You’ll find out soon.”

Jason looked at her weird but still continued walking to the bike, slightly swinging their joined hands, an extra spring to his step. This visit had been important, she knew, but hadn’t realized exactly how important it was for him. For all the trash talk and exasperation, Jason was a family man and valued the opinion and approval of the others.

And she had passed the test, if she had read their reactions well.

Well, let’s hope that the thing with Batman goes well too, since she needed his approval as well as Bruce Wayne’s. Funny enough Jazz was way calmer than before going to meet the family — Batman was just a man, and it simply wasn’t the same as meeting your boyfriend’s father. She didn’t have any reservations about fighting Batman if it came to it, he had been rude to her and her brother, and had lost all respect she had before they started the process of establishing a relationship between the Realms and the Living World.

But before she even considered what she would do the next Monday, Jazz knew she needed to have a conversation with Jason. If her suspicions were true and he was the Red Hood, whatever was going to go down with Batman was of his interest. Also, if they were going serious, he deserved to know about the Princess thing as well.

She waited until they were at his apartment to open her mouth about it. She let them both settle in, Jason shedding the jacket before going to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Jazz watched him, quietly standing at the door.

“Jason.”

He looked at her over the rim of the glass, eyebrows raised in question.

“We need to talk.”

He choked on the water.

***

“I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, manwhore our way out of this one, Little Wing.”

At his side, Jason sighed and took off his helmet so he could comb back his hair as he gathered his thoughts.

They were trapped, and even if they could probably get out of the gang base in one piece, then they would lose this chance to finally bust the drug operation Jason had been working on for the last few months. The gang would be out of Gotham by sunrise and the drug would be distributed elsewhere anyway.

Dick didn’t blame his brother for jumping into the gang base like this — it had been a last minute decision and he didn’t expect this much resistance. At first he had been annoyed that he had to coordinate with Nightwing since it was supposed to be a simple thing; but as they finally infiltrated the base they realized it had been a trap. Jason’s informant had sold them out and they were waiting for the vigilantes.

Calling for backup from the other bats was not an option. They were either busy with their civilian lives and couldn’t help until it was too late, or were away on a superhero mission.

Jason was thinking something along those lines, because he was growling and grabbing on his hair, cursing under his breath.

They were hiding in an empty room in the abandoned office building the gang was using as a base. It was small and only had one window, and the door couldn’t be locked but they pushed a heavy desk in front of it just in case.

It was safe, but they couldn’t move. Inside the building there were too many armed gang members looking for them, and some of them had night vision gear. Outside, there were snipers posted on the roof and hidden in nearby buildings, and they didn’t know where exactly they were.

They needed help. But nobody could arrive in time. If only—

An idea!

“But we could malewife.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Dick turned to fully face his brother, the light pollution of the city coming from the window enough to illuminate Jason’s confused frown.

“Call Jazz.”

“What?”

“Yeah! She’s free right now, right?”

“Yeah because I stood her up!” He growled. “We were supposed to be on a movie date two hours ago!”

“So she’s free.”

“I don’t think you are focusing on the important part here.”

“She won’t be mad at you, she knows about the vigilante thing.”

Jason huffed. “That she knows doesn’t mean she won’t be mad.”

“You won’t know until you call~” Dick hoped his smile was reassuring. “I bet this is not the first time something is canceled because of your night activities.”

“It... It isn’t.”

“Was she mad, then?”

His brother looked at his feet, thinking for a moment. Finally, he said with a small voice. “No.” After another moment, he added: “She was very supportive, actually.”

Dick contained the instinct to squeal in joy. They were just so cute, the most adorable couple, and they fit so well with each other. Jason was the happiest he had ever seen him, ever; and when they were together his laughs were easy and his smiles were constant.

It didn’t hurt to know she accepted his brother in all aspects, guns and vigilantism included. Or that she herself was a protector of sorts.

The Princess of the Infinite Realms.

Not an Amazon as they suspected, but she sure was something else.

(It didn’t save Jason from being teased for dating a Princess, though.)

So it meant she was a hero too, or could potentially help them out of the situation.

“Good!” Jason looked at him, confused. “So call her and ask her if she can come and get us out of here.”

“I won’t force this life on her—”

“You kinda did the moment you guys came clean about secrets and went steady, Jaybird.” He patted his brother’s shoulder. “If she wasn’t willing to be a part of your life, all of it, she wouldn’t have said yes.”

Jason processed his words for a few seconds. With a defeated sigh, he put on the helmet again and connected the call.

“Hey.” Dick couldn’t hear Jazz’s voice clear enough to understand the words, but the tone was loud. “I know… I’m sorry.” Jason sighed. “Got caught up at work.”

Dick snorted as more loud words came from the helmet.

“I’m sorry, I thought it wouldn’t take this long— yeah, he’s here… really? Ugh.” He looked up at him. “Jazz says hi.”

“Hello~!”

“Dick says hi back. Hm… yeah. Yes. Can you? If you can’t— What, really?” Jazz was calmer as she spoke now. Jason’s body relaxed, so Dick took it as a good sign. “We are in a meeting room at the southwest corner of the empty office building close to the Elliot Memorial. The one with an antenna— Ok? Ok.”

“Tell her about the snipers.”

“Yes. There are snipers everywhere. Please, darling, be careful— Shut up.” He grumbled. “That’s not funny. No, I won’t say it— Okay,” he grumbled again and groaned loudly, one hand sliding down the face of his helmet, “you are right. Happy?” He hummed, ignoring Dick’s snickering. “See ya. Love you. Bye.”

With a sigh, he took the helmet off again.

“You guys are so cute.”

It was a testament of how long they’ve been dating, because Jason didn’t even blush at the comment, he just glared at him.

“She said she’ll be here in five minutes.”

Dick hummed. “Excited to see her in action?”

Now he blushed. “No.”

“Yes, you are.” And before his brother could continue bullshitting, he added: “I get you completely, though. There is something about strong women kicking ass— I’m not a coward, I’m man enough to admit that watching Starfire fight was a major turn on back when we dated.”

Jason scoffed and ignored him, not wanting to continue the conversation.

“There is nothing wrong with wanting to get railed by a strong, tall woman, Jay.”

“Is this really the time and place for such conversation?”

No. It really wasn’t, since they were hiding in a shitty meeting room as hundreds of people were searching for them to kill them. But Jason’s face was getting more and more red and it was totally worth it.

“I just don’t want you to deny yourself—”

“My sex life is none of your business, Dickhead.”

There was a brief pause as Jason glared at him, the effect lost in his red cheeks.

“But do you?”

“Do I what.”

“Wish for her to pick you up and manhandle you as she wishes?”

Bingo. He looked away. “None of your business.” He repeated a bit more weakly. Dick bit back a smile, waiting for his brother to crack. It wasn’t long before he sighed and said: “She’s very into trying anything and has the strength to back it up. We had… talked. About things.”

“She has a strap, then?”

“That’s it. Conversation over.” Jason crossed his arms, huffing.

Dick raised his hands in defeat, still smiling. “Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t pry.”

His brother didn’t quite believe him, but let him be, turning to glare at the window as if he could make Jazz suddenly materialize with the power of his mind.

Fool.

As if they hadn’t already seen the bites and hickeys she left on him. Was he even trying to hide them? Tim’s theory is that he wanted everyone to know who he belonged to like some kind of kink going on. Not that anybody was judging! Everyone has their kinks and gods know that each of them has seen and knows too much about the others’ sexual lives — word traveled fast down the hero grapevine and the walls in the Manor weren’t as thick as you would think.

So far Jason had managed to stay safe from it since he was very private and the thing with Roy had been very lowkey — Dick still couldn’t forgive that he found out a year into their relationship, and neither had told him — but Jazz was now a regular at the Manor, between the whole Infinite Realms talk and Alfred taking it upon himself to teach her how to cook edible food, so the couple was around the family plenty of time.

“‘I wouldn’t mind dying if it’s between those thighs’, right?”

“What?”

“You. That thought must have crossed your mind, yes?” He shrugged. “It surely did cross mine more than one back when Kori—”

The window was slammed open, the long body of Jason’s girlfriend swiftly sliding inside in one smooth movement. She was tall, but she knew how to move.

“Hello, boys.” She breathed once she was inside, one hand pushing back stray locks that escaped her braid. “Sorry for the wait.”

She was not an Amazon, but Dick could almost believe she was at that moment. The casual stance she usually had, as if she weren’t sure where to put her long limbs, was now gone. In its place, Jasmine was secure in her skin, strong, wearing a teal bodysuit that shimmered under the light coming from the window, betraying it was not simple spandex. Over the suit she had pieces of black armor on vulnerable places — kinda like how Diana suited up, but without the signature colors of Wonder Woman and with pulsing, glowing runes engraved in the edges instead.

They knew she was a warrior, that the title of Princess of the Infinite Realms didn’t only mean ballgowns and pretty jewelry; but seeing was very different from knowing.

“Hello, darling.”

She zeroed on Jason as he stood up from the floor, dusting his pants. Jazz got to his position with a few long steps and picked him up, narrowing her eyes as if she were trying to decipher something difficult.

“Not hurt?”

“Uh-huh.” His brother shook his head. “Have a little more faith in me.”

Still, she quickly checked him for non-visible injuries, smirking when Jason winced as she squeezed his shoulder. Instead of chastising him for lying, she leaned in to kiss his helmet on the cheek, patting the other cheek twice.

“Not a word.”

“Uh-huh.” She said in the same tone Jason had used to dismiss her worries.

They were adorable.

“Not that I don’t enjoy watching you two, but we need to make a plan.” Dick had to say, even if he liked seeing his brother relax just by the presence of his girlfriend.

“Right,” Jazz stood back up to her whole height, back straight, looking out of the window. “I took care of the snipers on this roof and the ones I detected around here, but I didn’t stay to check if there were more.”

Dick would have done a full sweep before jumping in, but Jazz was not a Bat. He wouldn’t judge her as such. Also, they had time to thoroughly train her.

“They took our gear.” Jason sighed, probably missing his guns. And his jacket. “So we’ll need to parkour down the old school way.”

“Or I could carry you.”

The smile that stretched Dick’s lips was like the one he had when Jason face planted right after trying to do a dramatic exit.

“I’m in!” He quickly approached her, completely ready to be carried like when Superman or Wally did it. He jumped into her arms without waiting for her to say anything, chuckling when she caught him anyway.

“Jay?”

Resigned, Jason sighed and walked to the pair. “I’ll wait here-”

Jazz could move fast, it turns out. Dick felt weightless as he was moved under one of her arms, watching with glee as she circled the now free arm around her boyfriend’s waist to lift him up with ease.

“This is exciting.”

“Shut up, Dickhead.”

“I feel like a little kid.”

“You behave like one.”

Jazz chuckled at their banter, walking towards the window. “Keep your arms in at all times during the ride and remember to have fun.”

She didn’t hesitate when she jumped out, the powerful leap rippling through her body, muscles tensing as they soared through the air towards the closest rooftop. Even if she said the thing about not moving, Dick decided to stretch his arms with a soft “wiii~” as he watched the street pass by far below them.

The landing was rougher than what the Bats were used to, but Jazz took the impact without flinching. Right. Inhuman durability. Undead Princesses didn’t have to worry about fucking up their knees.

She let them go, eyes already sweeping their surroundings even if she landed on a relatively secluded part behind some water tanks.

��We need to get back in.”

She turned towards Jason, expression unreadable. Dick saw her eyes run over his brother’s body, worry shining in her eyes, one eyebrow twitching slightly as the only sign of her actual emotions. She was trying hard to not show her thoughts, which was weird since she was usually very forthcoming as a civilian.

Princess. Jasmine was really a Princess. Dick understood the need to show a strong front when in a position of responsibility, he knew he also changed when he was acting as his team’s lead; but as everything about her other life, seeing was different from knowing.

Was this how people felt when they learned about them? When Brucie Wayne turned out to be The Dark Knight? Dick’s head was struggling to merge the picture of the warm presence of Jason’s cute girlfriend and this warrior princess.

“What do you need me to do?”

It was subtle, but Jason’s shoulders dropped with relief. He expected her to fight his decision.

His face was soft as he took off the helmet to look her in the eyes. “First we need our gear and they’ll probably have it still in the room they took us to.”

Jazz nodded. “Want me to get in and fetch it for you?” She said as if she were asking him what he wanted from the grocery store. He nodded, one hand extended to brush stray hairs behind her left ear. “Give me five minutes then.”

The air was charged when their eyes met, and Dick couldn’t look away. It was magical, in a way, how her blue eyes started to glow like some kind of bioluminescence, the shine low enough to barely illuminate Jason’s face as he got closer to her.

“Meet you here in eight minutes. We’ll do a sweep in the meantime,” Jason’s voice got low to match the sudden moment they were having.

“Ok.”

Their lips met and Nightwing finally looked away. He couldn’t even find the energy to make a comment or coo at them. It was soft, it was real, and, most of all, it was private.

He wouldn't be surprised if those two announced they were getting married within the year.

He looked back just as Jason’s boots were again on the roof, Jazz’s arms retracting from where she had circled them around his waist to lift him closer to her lips.

Cute.

But they had to get moving.

Dick cleared his throat, making them jump.

“Right. Um, I’ll get to it. See you guys in a bit!”

Without further comment, she jumped over the roof and landed without making a sound on the base’s brick wall, quickly crawling towards the same window they had jumped out from. Her movements looked weightless, like she was strong enough to move her body with fine precision. Or maybe it was a ghost thing, since Jazz’s brother apparently could fly.

The rooftop was quiet until they lost sight of her.

“I want to be the Best Man.” He turned to look at his younger brother. “I already have ideas for my speech.”

Jason narrowed his eyes. “What the fuck are you talking about.”

In response, Nightwing started humming the Wedding March as he flipped away, just in time to hear gunshots and destruction happening inside the building, probably following the spitfire of a girlfriend that literally crashed into Jason’s life.

---

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[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Wow, my Baldur's Gate 3 post blew up somewhat... nice. Well, time for more headcanons, of the unapologetically horny variety. (Yes, yes, I know everyone and their mother has done this already, well here's mine. Nyeh.)

Including: Astarion, The Emperor, Gale, Halsin, Jaheira, Karlach, Lae'zel, Raphael, Shadowheart, Wyll, and Zevlor

Tumblr is run by unfun prudes who would like my 30-year-old thoughts to remain Chaste and Pristine™ so filth under the cut until they ban me or whatever

Astarion

So the truly hilarious thing about Astarion is that he claims to be a pillow princess, but is almost always a dom. Like, I find it very funny that he enjoys the Aesthetics™ of being a spoiled brat, too delicate and pampered to lift a finger, but in reality, he's a bit of a work horse who finds having nothing to do dull as rocks.

Not to say that he doesn't enjoy receiving, I fully believe he does, but I think it's mostly relaxing at best and dissociative at worst. We'll assume though he's with a trusted partner for now though, rather than deal with the Hang Ups. I think inevitably he'd eventually roll over and change positions and end up in charge. I think it's an undeniable itch for him, even when he's being treated very well. There's just something so enthralling and exciting about being in control and playing with someone. It gives him a satisfying challenge the way being a pillow princess doesn't.

I think sex is particularly about aesthetics for Astarion as well. Bondage, costume, the art and immersion of it would be appealing. Role play would naturally extend out of this, especially as a safe outlet for some of his more complicated feelings. Succeeding at multiple layers of social interaction and intimacy would be extremely rewarding for him, I think.

He's also a very giving lover. I'm not sure praise would quite do it for him, that's not exactly his build. The submission though... oh yes, that does wonders. And he's very keen to reward that submission with nice things, sweet things, unbearably sweet, more than you can take... that's the kind of torture he's into, whining, begging, pleading, from the too muchness of it all, from how good he's being to you... mmm, yes, that's the stuff. It's soothing to understand you can be in control and not hurt people, to know that the control is not corruptive, not a bad thing in itself. I think it'd do a lot for his confidence and self-image.

Also, very into feeding as a sexual thing. He is a hedonist after all, more pleasure is more pleasure.

(The) Emperor

Hey, haters to the left, please. We believe in free love here and that includes the tentacle-y kind.

Look, okay, the dude comes on... strong. Too strong, to be honest. A little overly possessive, overly needy, but there is a hot, sweet core in there. And with a little patience, time, and reassurance, that can be honed into a respectful balance. If you can be patient and take your time, you can help him understand that he doesn't need to be in your every thought or be constantly touching to still have a deep bond. Do gotta watch those tendencies though.

That said, tentacles are a gift! Strong, dexterous, perfect for holding, squeezing, manipulating, and of course, inserting. It's hard to imagine a more intuitive metaphor for desire than tentacles, constantly grasping as they are. And boy, the Emperor wants. Also potentially has some experience using these, probably has a fair idea of how to make this good for both of you, so a pretty good bonus there.

While the Emperor tends to think he knows best and never enters anything without a plan, I think he'd be willing to take instruction. Your pleasure would be a point of pride so if something could be going better, I think he'd listen. Communication reaffirms trust after all. It's no dishonor to be spoken to or even commanded.

Honestly not sure illithid experience pleasure outside of making you orgasm and just like voyeuring or skimming the pleasure off your brain, so it's probably all about you here. Which also means we're probably not looking at marathon sessions; it'll be just the right amount of attention to a big, satisfying orgasm and then warm, languid rest. But the trick is, you're not going to get any gentle, casual encounters. His focus is unparalleled so it's very hard to back off of 100. That's fun, but can be exhausting, especially if you like a bit of variety.

Gale

Sometimes it's hard to see what Mystra saw in Gale; other times it's blinding. He's the most self-congratulating, infuriating, annoying bastard you know and he's also, somehow, perfect. What the fuck. The basic problem with Gale is that he'll tell you, to your face, that he fucked a goddess and when and where and how and the worst thing of all is he's not lying; he's actually good.

Gale has the enviable qualities of simultaneously being very laid back and very enthusiastic. He's happy with whatever position you suggest and is just thrilled to be invited. Throws himself into whatever's on the table.

Not to say that he doesn't have ideas, god, but he never shuts up about his ideas. And they're all, frustratingly, really good ideas too! "Oh, well I thought since we're in the hot tub, a little ice in my fingertips might be electrifying." "Have you considered the effects of shifting local gravity so you could ride me longer?" "I've taken the liberty of enchanting your dildo so you can feel it when you peg me!" God, don't you just hate him for being right all the time?

And to make matters worse, the stupid prick is full of wondering adoration for you, always trying to give you the best time possible, the best time ever. And he cares So Much he even notices if The Most Sensations Ever isn't the right thing right now and adjusts. He's just as happy to sit and cuddle or read next to each other. Ugh, disgusting. It's like someone made him in the Best Lover Conceivable factory and blew the whole budget on just him! Like, why Mystra gotta ruin the dating scene like that?!

Trouble is, he's obsessively good at doing exactly what you want because he was groomed by a goddess so... 😬 Sometimes you have to remind him he's enough. Sometimes you have to let him know that he isn't as good as what he could do for others, that he was already good, just on his own. Sometimes you gotta take care of him because he won't remember and he won't realize. And he might pout and object, but he deserves a good time too. Not that he wasn't having a good time but... you know what I mean. Let him be the focus.

Gale's very into attention and a slow, sweet time. Work him up painstakingly, bring him to the edge of begging, tell him what a good boy he is. He'll be crying with pleasure. Don't let him rush, rushing is a cheap shortcut and it means he doesn't have to endure being adored just as much as he adores you. It's the only time he'll ever be shy, having to accept love. But this should also, of course, always be paired with letting him reciprocate. One-sided affection or interaction would be torture for the poor boy. He wants so badly to be good, but gotta temper that a bit with reminding him he already is.

Halsin

Oakfather giving Mystra a run for her mother for "ruining the dating scene" with this one. Only The Oakfather went "thicc whores only" and the world cried amen for we were blessed.

What can we say about this polyamorous icon that hasn't already been said? Well, perhaps counter to some above examples, Halsin blessedly doesn't have to be at 110% all the time. Having a soft time is just as good as a rough ride. Although... we all know you're getting more of the latter on average, right?

The nice thing about Halsin is you don't have to worry about him denying himself or doing things just because he thinks you want them; he's a master of balance. He absolutely has his own personal, selfish desires and he knows how to serve them in turn. There's something refreshingly organic about Halsin's attraction, he's into you for perceptible maybe even measurable reasons, you don't have to worry about what's going on in that beautiful head of his so much.

A lot of energy in this one though, gotta be aware of that appetite. But hey, if you're into Halsin, you're probably open to maybe a couple more partners, together or separately. Halsin is certainly down for all of those combos.

Very generous lover, not satisfied until you say so. Down for any length of time, any position, but he strikes me as a man who's not into a lot of frills. Sex is about the physical pleasure, those animalistic instincts, and the kinetic energy between people being used and blended to create something more, something almost beyond us. A lot of artifice and dressing up wouldn't make a lot of sense to him and he's not likely to get much out of it. Don't think he'd yuck your yum, but unlikely to participate himself.

Might even prefer multiple partners at once and the longer the session the better. Short sessions are possible, but he's not going to enjoy it as much unless he can get really into the rhythm of it. Again, it's about balancing the energy, which often involves a bit of warm up and getting into the groove to truly satisfy. If one partner, high energy is best if possible. Come in with some goals in mind or you might get overwhelmed. Wouldn't be surprised if sometimes Halsin doesn't come at all due to his unreal stamina and thresholds.

Can't think of a better teacher to help you try something new though. Patient, kind, thoughtful with feedback from long experience. And he's incredibly appreciative of the unique skills every person has, the things only they bring are always valuable to him, something to be cherished and enjoyed. One of the few people who can be instructive, encouraging, and erotic all at the same time. It's a rare breed.

Jaheira

I'd let Mama Harper boss me around any day. And she is decidedly the boss, she's been giving orders since before I was born and that isn't about to change. Strong dom MILF energy here. And she definitely knows what she wants so those orders are going to be clear and consistent.

I don't think the strap is her preference, but I don't think she'd be opposed. But as another druid, I think she likes to go in bare handed, as it were. And, to be fair, she doesn't need help, I've seen those hands work a lash. She's strong and flexible, whatever you ask for she can give. She seems to have less in the raw energy department than Halsin, but I'll chalk that up to not being chief. I think it would take awhile to wear her down though, can't take her for fast or easy. Just like Halsin, I bet she prefers longer sessions to shorter, but would probably be a bit more flexible on this.

I think her real specialty is probably ropes, any kind of bondage. And she seems keen to teach the uninitiated, to make it not scary and safe. Her argument being the restraint in and of itself heightens the pleasure, why not try it? Not a bad argument.

She also probably enjoys herself most getting a work out in. She can be gentle for you, but her own pleasure is found in conquering, mastering. A test of strength or wills would probably be called for here. Tbh, I can't imagine her being that interested until you can prove you're a match for her in some way. Not terribly interested in coddling.

Karlach

Oh, a goddess among mere mortals. Those tits, that ass! She could break me in half and I would thank her, crying tears of joy. Karlach deserves every happiness on earth. Karlach is maybe the most enthusiastic person here, and that's saying something. The feeling of being close to others, but specifically sex, is such an important love language to Karlach. She has high physical needs and so is very excited and very determined to make you have as good a time as she is having. Unfortunately, sometimes this has a spiraling effect that results in questions like "how many orgasms is too many orgasms?" She just gets carried away, poor thing. But, nonetheless, as addictive as a good time is, you'll probably run out of stamina before she does. Though I bet she'd still keep going past the point of discomfort for herself, just because she's so excited and in love and bursting with joy and energy. It's hard to stop when there's so much you want to say and do and experience. Especially after being restrained so long.

On that topic, bondage probably not a good fit here. Anything that prevents touch for her is not really going to be her thing.

On the flip side, there is no such thing as too much, too hard, too long. I cannot imagine someone more eager to gobble you up, to taste you everywhere, to squeeze you close and shudder and gasp until your sweat smells the same. Like... she is here for this, she is into it. And she'll intuitively go for whatever is going to be more tactile, more of your touch and your body on hers. But also more scent, more excitement. She's going to respond like lightning to any little squeak or shiver to get any reaction out of you. She's so hungry for it.

And she's had a lot of time to think of ideas so you won't run dry on creativity for a good long while. Also important to note, she's only going to be a fast draw in the early days when everything is so urgent. She will slow down in time, though I think she'll end up running faster and hotter than most here. Her appetite is strong, but her stamina is actually on the low side. So more orgasms, but less space between them. Over stimulation is going to be huge here.

Not sure she has the patience for role play or anything fancy. This is not to say she isn't vocal she is... very vocal. Constantly. But that's quite affirming. And I think she'd be pretty into displays, perhaps even a bit of exhibitionism. After all, voyeurism/exhibitionism is all she had for awhile, so I suspect that would carry over into now. I think in particular she'd like to show you off, since she has a keen understanding of the eroticism of visuals. Not everyone's cup of tea of course, and she doesn't have to, but she just gets excited and proud. This makes her feel so good she can't help wanting to shout about it.

All of this said, she's also probably the most attentive in safety and aftercare. Halsin is a safety nut as well, but Karlach absolutely dotes. She wants to make sure she didn't hurt you or wear you out in any way and so will make extra, extra sure any little need is taken care of.

Lae'zel

Lae'zel's pussy could kill a man, in fact, it probably has. Not the most romantic of our choices, at least at first, but vigorous, satisfying, honestly intimidating. But, sex is very accessible with Lae'zel. Sex is part of communion for her, but in a different way than Halsin. It's exercise and contest and entertainment and group cohesion all in one. For these reasons, she's not as intimidating as you'd expect because just you saying yes to her pleases her. If she's invited you, that means she's already judged you worthy. She's not going to be upset when giving pointers because she has no hang ups about how sex is supposed to work. She doesn't expect you to read her mind and would probably be mad if you tried. Clear communication is part of this and you already earned the trust for it.

And on the flip side, she will not be distressed by you stating your desires because she's also not trying to read your mind. She wants you to trust her enough to say what you want. Honestly, she's probably a good starting place for virgins, her openness would be soothing. She might even have the patience to instruct, though she's not a terribly patient woman in general.

Also, not to bury it, Lae'zel just likes sex, the sweat, the scents, the weird, sticky feelings of it, the shivering glow through the body. Sex is fun for her and that's obvious in her vocalizations, both articulated words and not. And she knows that the more times you have sex with the same partner, the easier it gets, the more enjoyable it is. I think she'd like watching that progress, like a good team coming together. It's a sign of trust and affection. And in time, if she comes to trust you a lot, the sex becomes even more intimate and vulnerable, as you start to trust each other experimenting, going by instinct rather than plan. Those little shifts would be thrilling for her as she learns to improvise and accept new ideas. Surprising her would be delightful because she always thinks she has the upper hand. How fun to show her that's not always the case.

Lae'zel is a dom more out of necessity than desire, I think. She's probably a switch, happy with whatever suits; she just ends up doming a lot because no one has earned her subbing/she doesn't trust enough yet. But taking turns would also be valuable team building for her, important everyone trains even the skills they're weak at. Together, we become better at sex and at understanding each other. Weirdly, a very emotionally healthy outlook.

Raphael

I think I feel about Raphael as others feel about Enver Gortash. I want to project every flithy, nasty ass thought onto this wet rag of a man. So, without further ado: humiliation is the name of the game. I think if you fucked Haarlep in front of him, binding him so he couldn't do anything, only watch as Haarlep groans about how much better you are than Raphael, I think he'd come in his over-tailored pants. Cuckold the shit out of him. I think he needs to be stepped on, pegged, and drooling in the street. Never let him have his own way. I think he'd see stars getting pushed around like that. I think it would be great for him. Just use him like a cock sleeve, really dig in there. Absolutely deserved.

Like, imagine if this whole thing is his cringefail attempt to court Zariel. Imagine that level of humiliation. Works on this for thousands of years, only to burn his own house down over a few puny mortals stealing his shit. Oh my goddddd.

If nothing else, it would be Fucking Hilarious.

Shadowheart

So Shadowheart is probably into some hardcore stuff, right? She strikes me as someone with a bit of a home invasion kink. Definitely here for the blindfold/sensory deprivation kink. Restraints, but not just bondage, I'm thinking vinyl suits. Shadowheart's definitely into the unconventional. The more toys and artifice, the better.

It's probably next to impossible for Shadowheart to relax sexually. I don't think it's that she isn't into sex, but it's probably difficult for her to calm down and feel safe being vulnerable, get in touch with soft, gentle things that are just nice. Things that hurt a bit are more comfortable, more familiar, and even have less to do with her personally so she doesn't have to deal with her own feelings and preferences. But, with a bit of patience and a firm hand, you could coax Shadowheart into easing up, allowing herself to be taken care of, and to enjoy just a simple hand job or the too soft touch of lips. She's a bit of a project, but especially if you enjoy a bit of darkness and danger, very rewarding.

And Shadowheart would be big into reciprocation, you can't do something nice for her without her doing the same to you. And she'd take it as a point of pride that she's very good at making people beg for mercy. I think she'd become very giving over time, if you can be patient and teach her how to enjoy herself, in time she will give as much and more back to you.

And to be clear, not suggesting she doesn't also and always enjoy a bit of bondage and sensory deprivation, but I think she'd enjoy it more once she's come to terms with the fact this is not a service she's required to provide, an act which could determine her worth, but just occupations she enjoys for herself, outside of external validation. Teaching Shadowheart to masturbate could be huge. I do worry about her some times. A little self-love lessons might be necessary.

Edging also definitely something to try here. The slower the better. But, it's gotta have that pay off, or she'll start circling back to denial is the end in itself. Which... maybe sometimes, but there's also a lot to be enjoyed in the climax too!

Wyll

Hard to find a sweeter, gentler soul on the road. And a softer touch too. Needless to say, it's a lot of firsts with Wyll. But, he's a quick study and enjoys being tender and lovely. And I'll say it right now, even with this illustrious company, I don't think anyone gives better head than Wyll Ravenguard. Such a soft mouth and singularly focused and determined, he genuinely enjoys it too. It's such an act of service and this boy is all about acts of service. He wouldn't even get distracted by his own pleasure, just entirely focused on what he can give you. Halsin might have greater skill, but that heartfelt desire is unparalleled.

Wyll is made to be commanded, he will do whatever you say in bed. Even if you gave him control, I'm not sure he'd want it and definitely wouldn't know what to do with it. Now, not to say he's a pillow princess, those hips are doing their share of heavy lifting. Just to say that he wants instruction, he wants to follow your lead and let you tell him what to do. Praise would be huge here, tell him what a good boy he is, how well he's doing, he'd go mad.

To prolong the pleasure, a little orgasm denial may be useful, make him work for it. He loves a challenge and a test to prove his worthiness. And, in time, you could get experimental with him as you build his confidence. Maybe a little exhibitionism. Maybe a little bondage, a little role play. As long as the trust and love is there, Wyll's willing to try anything once.

Maybe the most fun thing about Wyll is Wyll actually can keep it down. Some of us just have to scream about it, but Wyll can actually get away with a fair mount because of his cool exterior. And Wyll is available for quickies, an advantage over some others here since he doesn't require a huge amount of energy set aside to have a good time. Wyll responds better to smaller but frequent affection and physical touch than big events spaced out. And Wyll is impulsively romantic, he likes to surprise with fun ideas and sudden invitations, which is a reward unto itself.

Zevlor

And a win for Team Sexualizing Old Men! I remember my roots. It is truly a tragedy that Larian won't let me sex up that old man. Look at him, you know it'd be good. So tender, so thorough. And Zevlor deserves something nice god damn it.

You know he knows what he's about. None of that shy, awkward fumbling you get with the new kids. Heck, he probably knows how to get you off standing against a wall, still in his armor! A true prince among men here. Don't think because no one's asked in awhile his skills have diminished.

Very passable oral skills, surprisingly long stamina, not just in oral too ;). Not the fastest ride you'll ever have and some positions are probably going to be out, battle-scarred knees and such, but for my money, absolutely delightful. Don't have to contend with more power than sense here.

And hey, if you want some Honorable Mentions like Aylin, Enver Gortash, or Dammon, let me know! I'm always down to give sexual headcanons no one wanted! 

[t0ta11y-n0t-cup1d]

!!!!! hi !!! :) can u maybe write rise leo & donnie hcs (separate pls) with a reader who's super affectionate and just loves tf out of them.!!! like!!! reader is head over heels!!!

also i hate that u were self conscious while writing totally platonic ;( it was so great, i rly like the way u wrote it!!!🥹 made me feel all warm n' fuzzy n' shit

Touchy-Feely

꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡ (seperate) don + leo hcs w a supez affectionate reader!!! (physical touch, gift-giving, words of affirmation)

req ;; yes/no

g/n reader!! they/them prns

warnings ;; swearing, kinda ooc??

leo ;;

- so leo is naturally ALL over people he loves (think climbing all over raph, draping himself over mikey + donnie, etc)

- it'd be really accurate to say he's the same way with you!

- whenever you're in the lair, or just around the turtles/leo, you are going to be snatched up and there is nothing you can do about it!

- standing up? okay, leo's just gonna wrap his arms round your waist and lean his head on your shoulder.

- sitting down? either you're sitting in his lap or he's sitting in yours— or, he sits on the floor beside you so that he can lean his head on your thighs (i love doing that)

- laying in bed? CUDDLE TIME!

- that's all just to say that leo himself is very physically affectionate ;; if he got the chance he'd hold onto you and never let go

- with leo's self-esteem problems, i think it really helps to have a partner who's super affectionate!

- leo's the kinda guy to have doubts/ be like 'why are you even with me? i'm so lame and my brothers/literally anyone is so much better than me'

- so to have someone who time and time again shows how much they love him and proves that they only have eyes for him?

- it actually really helps! of course, those thoughts do come back sometimes, but it's nothing that a few kisses and a cuddle session can't fix!

- not to mention how you're always, always willing to tell him own much you love him!! because you do, you love him very much and will do anything to get those bad thoughts out of his head

- if he ever feels bad about himself or something he did, he always comes to you to get some comfort bc you comfort him in the best way

- like i wrote in Totally Platonic, leo's prone to subconsciously wagging his tail, making chittering/churring sounds at you, even fluttering his fingers around your cheeks bc red-eared slider DNA go brrr

- something that i think leo would be self-conscious of is money and ish, bc its not like he can really get much?? with the whole turtle situation

- but you, of course, being the angel you are, constantly reassures him that you don't need materialistic things for him to prove his love! you just want him, not anything else

- he sobs on the spot

- leo's the type of guy to fall HARD, so to know you're the same way? to know that you're as crazy about him as he is about you?

- he swoons, and wonders what he might've done to deserve such a wonderful partner.

- (literally save the world twice but who's counting?)

donnie ;;

- everybody, EVERYBODY KNOWS that donnie ain't a very touch-oriented guy, so at the start of the relationship, he'd deffo be overwhelmed by all the love and might ask you to tone it down (not in a mean way)

- once he gets comfortable tho he's all up for affection and cuddles :))

- you do ruin his bad-boy image tho. how is this man supposed to be dark and mysterious when your sweet self is out here making him absolutely melt???

- donnie typically shows his love through gifts and words!!!

- alike leo, he could spend HOURS singing your praise and just saying everything he loves about you (he's actually made a list organized by his most favourite qualities alphabetically.)

- i personally think that for donnie, being a middle child, he didn't get too much attention and we know for a FACT that he yearns for praise and love

- so you KNOW he's going feral if you so much as say 'wow, that's cool!' to one of his inventions

- donnie, while a little overwhelmed by all the love you show him, is really happy to have it

- don can get really stressed when doing his experiments/making his inventions, so it helps to have you around!!

- comes to you for cuddles and to rant when stuff doesn't go his way or an experiment fails

- DEFFO appreciates how affectionate and lovey-dovey you are.

- (also like leo) he can get down in the dumps and insecure bc he believes that his tech is the only 'useful' thing about himself

- so to hear you constantly being like "ahhh my bf!!! my wonderful talented smart funny bf!!!! my love my light of my life!!! i love you i love you i love you :DD" to him really brought up his spirits

- how could they not?? you're just too cute and so sweet!!

- it also helps if he feels kinda insecure in public!! people trying to flirt w you? you don't even notice because you're too busy looking at donnie.

- donnie totes makes you gifts and stuff (little robot to help you out w chores, maybe one to remind you every day how much he loves you :])

- unlike leonardo however, don prefers to keep pda to a minimum;; he likes having certain things to himself and in private

- that doesn't mean that he don't love it tho!!! he just prefers that some stuff stays behind walls

A/N ;; SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!! but thank you so much for the request :DD im so eepy jssbbfjs,,,, anyway MEOWSSSS can't wait to work on more fics :]] they might come (even) slower tho bc im starting classes again (AGHHHHHHH)

LUV FROM ;; CUPEZ

[waitimcomingtoo]

Part Of Your World ~ p.p

chapter seven: those poor unfortunate souls

series masterlist

Being a human got easier with each passing day. Instead of going to school with Peter, he took the week off to spend time with you. He took you sightseeing to all the major New York attractions. Your bad memories of your first day as a human were replaced with happy memories of getting to see all the places you once were limited to looking at from beneath the surface. Peter took you to every park, garden, food truck, and farmers market he could find. And you loved every minute of it. You never thought about your old life or the ocean anymore. You only thought of the next thing you’d get to learn about or experience.

You managed to get through an entire month of being a human with nothing but happy days and nights to show for it. One day, you were exploring a new part of the city with Peter when you saw a boardwalk. It looked over the ocean and had concession stands lining it with handmaids clothes and different trinkets. You tugged Peters hand towards it and started to browse. Peter held your hand and rested his chin on your shoulder while you looked at some handmaids jewelry. A Jade ring caught your eyes and you picked it up to admire the pendant on top.

“My little mermaid.” The seller said, making your heart stop. You dropped the ring and looked at him to see him smiling back at you.

“My mother made this. They’re very popular, especially with young girls. See the little mermaid she carved?” The seller explained as he picked up the ring. You realized the pendant was a carving of a little mermaid sitting on a rock. The green of the jade reminded you of your tail and for the first time in a month, you missed the ocean. The seller saw the way you were looking at the ring and felt pity for you.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” He asked, and you nodded.

“I’ve always believed in mermaids. I’ve never seen one, but I know I’ve heard their songs. My mother said she used to hear the same mermaid year after year singing on the same rock out in the middle of the ocean. She even caught a glimpse of her once. That’s when she started making these rings. For that little mermaid with the sad song.” The seller explained. You thought about the rock you always used to sit on, the very rock you saved Peters life on. You were always so careful, but you wondered if this man’s mother had ever seen you on one of your trips to the surface. You looked into the man’s eyes and smiled warmly at him before handing the ring back.

“You don’t have a lot to say, do you?” He asked. You shook your head and gestured to your throat to let him know you had no voice. A crashing wave behind you caught your attention and you looked over your shoulder at the sea in the distance. A tear came to your eye as you remembered your home and the people you grew up with. You suddenly felt the ring sliding on your finger and looked back at the seller.

“Take it. It’s yours. The little mermaid for the little lady.” He told you. You broke into a smile and signed “thank you” the way Peter had shown you. He winked at you and you wondered if this man somehow knew your secret.

“Wow. Look at the sunset.” Peter said, drawing your attention back to the shoreline. You went over to the railing that overlooked the beach and watched the sun beginning to dip beneath the horizon. The waves crashing into the shore was the only sound as a cool summer breeze lifted your hair off your face. You felt an urge to jump over the railing and run into the inviting waters. You tugged on Peters shirt and pointed down to the shore with urgency.

“Really? You want to walk on the beach?” Peter gulped. You nodded eagerly and started to climb the railing.

“But the sun is setting. It’s probably freezing.” He warned as he tried to stop you. You waved your hand and jumped over the railing onto the beach just below. You then looked to Peter and waved him to follow. He reluctantly climbed over the railing as he desperately tried to think of how to keep you away from the water.

“I don’t think this is such a good idea. There’s no lifeguard. We’re not even supposed to be down here.” He said as he stepped between you and the crashing waves so that they couldn’t touch you. You were still walking on the dry sand so he was safe so far. You walked down the shore together with two completely different mindsets. You were peaceful and felt at home with the ocean right beside you. Peter was a nervous wreck watching every wave lap the shoreline and praying it wouldn’t touch you.

“Okay. We saw the water. We should probably head back up now.” Peter said once his anxiety grew to be too much. But since you had no idea what would happen if you touched the water, you took your sandals off and dropped them in the sand.

“What are you doing?” Peter asked nervously as you walked towards the water. Time stood still as your bare foot lifted off the ground and moved towards the approached water.

“Wait, don’t-“ Peter cried out, but it was too late. Your foot was submerged in the ocean water for less than a second before your knees buckled beneath you. You cried out in pain and felt your legs burning together to form your shimmering green tail. You fell to the floor and lifted your dress to see your worst nightmare.

“Peter?” Your voice shook as you looked up at him.

“Hey, your voice.” He realized. “You can talk again.”

“Peter, what’s happening? Why is my tail back? What happened to my legs?” You cried out and gripped your tail in vain. You started to cry out of frustration and confusion as the water lapped over your body. Peter knelt down beside you and lifted your head up.

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay. It’s okay.” He said soothingly as he rubbed your back.

“It’s not okay! How are you so calm? The spell didn’t work. My tail was never supposed to come back. We have to go find Mr. Doctor Strange. We need to tell him his spell is broken.” You said as you desperately tugged on Peters shirt. Peter gulped and looked away because he knew exactly how that conversation with Strange would go.

“Here. Let me dry you off.” Peter offered. He pulled you away from the water and took off his shirt to dry your tail off. Your legs reappeared in the sand and you both felt a sense of relief.

“Oh, thank God. Your legs came back. Now we don’t have to tell Strange.” Peter said with a suspiciously big smile. You looked at him curiously before pulling yourself back to the water and touching it with your fingertips. Just as you suspected, your tail reappeared under your dress.

“We still have to tell Dr. Strange. My tail was never supposed to come back. His spell was wrong.” You said and carefully watched Peters reaction.

“I’m sure it was just a fluke. Let’s get away from the water before it happens again.” Peter said and tried to pull you away from the sea. You pulled away from him and he froze.

“What’s wrong?” He played dumb.

“You thought I was going to change my mind about my tail, didn’t you?” You asked as you slowly looked from your tail into his eyes. Peter knew there was no point in lying now.

“Yeah, I did.” He admitted. “But after spending the last month with you on land, I now know you were absolutely right and you won’t change your mind.”

“You now know?” You narrowed your eyes. “You didn’t know before when I explicitly told you I wouldn’t change my mind?”

“Well, yeah, but…” Peter trailed off when he realized he had no defense.

“You didn’t believe me.” You said, mostly to yourself as you tried to process that the boy you loved had been lying to you about the most important thing in your life.

“It’s not that I didn’t believe you-“

“Don’t lie!” You cut him off.

“Honey, please just listen to me. I had a good reason for why I lied.” Peter said as he walked closer to you.

“You told him to cast a different spell. You lied to him about what I wanted.” You shouted and pushed yourself deeper into the water to get away from him.

“I’m sorry. But you weren’t thinking clearly. You were just trying to get back at your dad. I wanted to preserve your choice to go home one day.”

“But that was my choice. And you made it for me.” You said as tears of betrayal streamed down your face.

“I know. But I never thought it would take your voice.” Peter defended himself. Your face changed from disappointment to shocked as you realized what he had just said.

“You’re the reason I couldn’t speak?”

Peter opened his mouth to defend himself but this time, he was the one left speechless. You stared at him and willed him to say something. Anything. But Peter was silent.

“I don’t think I love you anymore.” You said without looking at him. Peter let out a breath of defeat and felt his eyes brim with tears.

“I didn’t know you ever did.” He said quietly.

“I can’t now. You’re one of the bad men.” You told him. With that, you pushed yourself off the shore and swam off into the sea.

“No!” Peter cried out and ran into the water after you. He got waist deep into the water before realizing there was no use. You were long gone by now and he had no way of finding you.

Peter trudged back to the tower after spending a full hour looking for you. He even swung back to the rock you saved him on to see if you would show up but you were nowhere to be found. It was pitch black out now and he knew he had no chance of finding you. He walked into the tower with his heads hung low and heard someone groan. Dr. Strange was sitting in the foyer and took one look at Peters wet clothes and knew what happened.

“She never knew about the saltwater clause, did she?”

“No.” Peter admitted.

“And you took her to the beach?”

“Yes.”

“And she missed her home?”

“Yes.”

“So she went in the water and realized you betrayed her?”

“Yes.”

“So you lied to the girl you love and the man trying to help you. How does that make sense?” Strange asked with obvious disappointment in his voice.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I didn’t think she’d ever want to go into the ocean again.”

“You mean you didn’t think she’d ever find out that you lied?” Strange raised an eyebrow, making Peter fall silent.

“I don’t know why you didn’t think she would want to go back to the sea at least once. That’s where the spell went wrong. You spoke for her against her will in order to get her legs. So the spell took her voice all together in exchange for being human.”

“I never expected that to happen.”

“I told you that it can get complicated when you mess with nature. There is always a trick when something seems too good to be true. All spells have consequences. She said she’d give anything to be human, so she had to give her voice. Because of you.”

Peter sat down and put his head in his hands to think about what he had done. He knew you hated the way your father spoke for you and made your decisions for you and he had just done the same. Peter thought back on the long month you spent without using your voice and wondered how many times he had spoken for you and you just had to silently put up with it.

“What do I do? How am I supposed to find her and make things right?” Peter asked desperately.

“I don’t think you can find her.” Strange shrugged. “You just have to hope she comes home and finds you.”

Meanwhile, you were back under the sea in your old home. You swam to your grotto for comfort but were harshly reminded that your father had destroyed your collection. You quickly swam away in case he came back looking for you and came upon an old ship wreck. Your father forbid you from ever swimming past it, but he wasn’t in charge of you anymore. You looked over your shoulder before swimming deeper into the sea to a place you’d never gone before. The water got colder and you saw less and less fish the further you swam. You reached a dark cave and saw purple lights flickering in the water. Out of curiosity, you swam into the cave but saw nothing. Thinking you were alone, you laid down on the cave floor and let yourself cry for your relationship ending. You had gotten used to the satisfaction of crying on land where tears could stream down your face to validate your emotions. But under the sea, you had no tears to cry.

“You poor, unfortunate soul.” A voice came from the darkness, making you jump and sit up.

“Who said that?” You asked. A glowing purple figure lit up in front of you and a mermaid swam out from the darkness. You gasped and swam back until your back hit the cave wall.

“A mermaid has no tears. Therefore, she suffers so much more.” The woman said as she swam towards you. The tips of her fingers were blackened with something you didn’t recognize so you stayed perfectly still as she reached out to wipe your eyes.

“Who are you?” You asked her. The woman smiled and cupped your face in one hand to make you look her in the eyes.

“Who cries for the little mermaid?” She asked through a pout. Your face crumbled and you shook your head sadly.

“Nobody.” You whispered. The woman smiled sadly and took your hand in hers.

“I see your sadness. I can feel your pain. I could take it away.” She told you.

“Who are you?” You asked again.

“Agatha.” She replied, making your blood run cold.

“Agatha? The sea witch?” You asked. You’d always heard stories of the sea witch who lived in the bottom of the ocean and liked it cause trouble between humans and merpeople.

“I am that very witch. Now, tell me. What’s wrong, my child?”

“I got my legs. But I had to give my voice.”

“You had to give it? Or was it taken?” She questioned, making your eyes darken.

“It was taken.”

“By whom?” She smiled like she already knew and swam closer.

“The boy I love. He spoke for me. He said I’d finally be able to make my own choices and then made them for me.”

“And how did that make you feel?”

“Like I had no control. It made me feel like my voice, my thoughts, my feelings, my opinions didn’t matter.” You said angrily.

“You had a lot to say, didn’t you?” Agatha asked you like she already knew.

“So much. So many questions and answers. But none of it came out.”

“Because of him?”

“Because of him.”

“You’re in luck, child. Magic is a talent I always have possessed. I can give you your voice back. And your legs. For a price.” Agatha said as she tilted your face towards her with one of her black stained fingers.

“What price?” You asked skeptically.

“You can never speak to the man who stole your voice again.” Agatha said simply.

“Never?”

“Ever. Are you prepared to make that sacrifice?” She raised an eyebrow. You looked away from her, unsure you could commit to her demands.

“What would happen if I spoke to him?”

“You’d be turned back into a mermaid. Forever.”

“I don’t know. I’m mad at Peter, but I don’t want to lose him forever.”

“Peter is just a boy. This is your life we’re speaking about. You’ll find hundreds of boys just like him. If not, better than him. Don’t waste this once in a lifetime opportunity on a mere human boy.”

“But I love that boy.” You said quietly.

“I lost the man I loved once. It didn’t kill me.” Agatha said coldly. You looked at her and frowned. She lived alone in a cave that even the fish didn’t swim to. She didn’t die, but her life wasn’t that great.

“The choice is yours.” Agatha shrugged when she sensed your hesitation.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to resist speaking to him. I want to make things right between us eventually. Please, miss Agatha. Is there anything else you can do?” You pleaded with her.

“I do have another option. One that will allow you to speak to him and keep your legs.” She said without looking at you.

“And my voice?” You hoped and swam closer to her.

“Of course. What’s a woman without her voice?”

“Then I choose that one.” You nodded eagerly.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure.” You said decidedly.

“I don’t know. I don’t think I can trust such a fickle little girl.” Agatha sighed and swam away from you.

“Please help me. I’ll do anything.” You begged and swam after her.

“Anything?” She smiled and whipped around. You nodded your head and her smile grew.

“All right. Option two it is.” She replied and then started to move to fingers. She formed a purple ball with her hands that grew and enveloped you. The purple magic squeezed you so tightly that you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“Your legs will be permanently if and only if…” Agatha trailed off as the sound of scissors cutting through paper filled your ears and you could feel your tail starting to separate.

“You kill the boy you love by the the sunset of the third day.”

“What?!” You screamed and tried to swim away.

“If you do not kill him by the third day, you will be turned into sea foam.” Agatha continued. “And you can never tell him of this deal or else you’ll turn to sea foam immediately. Forever apart of the sea.”

“I didn’t agree to that.” You protested.

“You just did.” She smiled wickedly as she swirled her hands around. A small knife with a pearl handle appeared in the water and floated into your hands. You opened your mouth to scream but only bubbles came out. Your legs then sprang free and you could no longer breathe under water. You grabbed your throat and started to swim out of the cave as fast as you could. Swimming was much harder without your tail.

“Swim! Hurry! Before you run out of breath.” Agatha called after you with a cackle. You swam as fast as you could towards the surface and felt yourself started to black out. You kicked your legs as hard as you could and just went your chest felt like it was going to explode, you broke through the surface.

Peter went back to Dr. Strange the day after you ran away with a new plan in mind. With no way of finding you on his own, he knew he needed magic to get you back.

“Strange, here me out-“

“Never again in my life will I do that.” Dr. Strange cut him off.

“Please? Just one more time. I need you to cast a spell that-“

“No. I’m not doing anymore magic for you. You broke my trust. No magic for you.” Strange cut him off again and walked away.

“Please, Strange? I love her. I have to make this right.” Peter pleaded as he followed him.

“I know you do. But you’re not gonna use magic to fix it. Magic can’t solve all your problems. It’s not…magic.”

“But it is.” Peter said pointedly.

“But I’m walking away.” Strange mocked his tone and left again. Peter let out a groan and walked away in defeat. He walked down the hallway of the tower and suddenly heard someone whispering his name.

“You there.”

Peter walked back and saw red lights glowing behind a door. He curiously opened it and found Wanda floating with her legs crossed.

“Me?” Peter asked and pointed to himself.

“Yes, you. Come closer.” Wanda said and the door behind Peter slammed shut. He shivered and reluctantly walked closer to Wanda.

“Your little mermaid. What happened to her?” Wanda questioned.

“She found out that I was the reason she had no voice. So she ran away. Or, swam away. From me.”

“Why would you make her choice for her if you knew what she really wanted?” Wanda frowned.

“I just wanted to protect her option to go home if she wanted to one day. I didn’t know lying to her would take her voice. I just didn’t want her to be stuck here forever if she one day decided she didn’t want this life anymore. You know, if she one day decided she didn’t want me anymore.”

Wanda was quiet for a moment as she looked at Peter. He reminded her of her son Billy for a moment, knowing he too made the wrong choice when trying to do the right thing.

“Your intentions were in the right place. But your execution was wrong.” Wanda said after a minute.

“I know. I feel so guilty. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” Peter said, and Wanda believed him. She was quiet for a minute as she pondered what to do.

“I’m going to help you.” She decided.

“Really? You are?” Peter asked hopefully.

“You are going to make things right with her. You are going to apologize and mean it. Don’t just say you’re sorry, show her you’re sorry. My spell will do the rest.”

“What’s the rest?”

“All she needs to do to get her legs permanently is kiss you before the sun sets in three days time.”

“What is with you wizards and three days time?” Peter mumbled under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” Peter said quickly.

“You will have three days to get her to kiss you. If you succeed, she will remain a human permanently. But you can’t tell her about it. It has to happen naturally or else the spell won’t work.�� Wanda reiterated so Peter understood.

“That’s all I have to do? Get one kiss?”

“True loves kiss.” Wanda specified.

“But she hates me. And I don’t even know where she is.”

“She’ll come back.” Wanda assured him. “I hear she’s already on her way.”

“Back to me?”

“Back to you.” Wanda nodded. Peter stood up straighter and nodded his head.

“Deal.” He said and held out his hand. Wanda’s glowing red hand reached towards his and shook it. Peter felt his body warm up and then tingles went down his spine. He shook his body out and thanked Wanda before leaving. He walked out of the tower and headed towards the boardwalk he last saw you on in case you came back.

“Three days. I got this.” Peter said to himself as he walked. What he didn’t know is that you were on your way to the Avengers tower with the knife from Agatha hidden in your pocket. Your heart pounded in your chest as you approached the tower, knowing what you’d have to do once you got there.

“Three days.” You said to yourself. “I got this.”

🌊🌊🌊

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[is-the-fire-real]

‘Documenting my Jewish conversion’ your opinion on the last year means nothing, then. Absolutely nothing. You will never know the fear that real Jews have been facing since October 7th 2023, and you will never understand the risks that come from looking and acting like a Jew. You people shouldn’t even be allowed to call yourselves Zionists, because you have no ties to the holy land at all.

I bet you think Kahanism is ‘too much’, too.

Wow, Anon, this would really hurt my feelings if I believed for one second you were actually Jewish.

I could leave it at this and move on, but you know what? I'm feeling chatty and it's been a long time since I've made a big post on here, so let's sort out, piece by piece, why I know you're cosplaying.

For starters: if you were really Jewish, you wouldn't be anonymous. Jews who believe gerim aren't "real Jews" post their opinions on their blogs under their names. They are very few and far between, but they aren't shy. I believe that you have chosen to send this anonymously because you ARE shy... because your login info will demonstrate that you are an antisemitic goy who's trying to pick at what you assume is a sore spot.

Second, if you were really Jewish and you'd paid attention to what I've said about "the last year" (and then using the Gregorian calendar date, which is just funny to me), you would know that I haven't actually expressed an opinion on Zionism. I have reblogged material from other Jews expressing their opinions. Those Jews have ranged from Zionists to non-Zionists to post-Zionists to "refuse all terminology"-ists. I have chosen, deliberately, to do what we used to call signal boosting.

When I have expressed an opinion, it has been on the behavior of antisemites on Tumblr who pretend to be something they're not--usually, pro-Palestinian, but in your case, Jewish. I have been wondering what the "pro-Pal" fandom would do now that it's started to collapse from the fans getting bored, and you've demonstrated one possible tactic--so thanks for that!

Third, if you were really Jewish, you would have something to say about being Jewish that isn't what you said. I've read and spoken with countless Jews who talk about being Jewish. Look at the words you've chosen: "risk" and "fear". I have heard Jews express fear, and awareness of risk, but no Jew I've met would reduce all of Jewish experience to risk and fear.

The Jews I marked Yom Kippur with were aware of risk and had prudent fear. But they were not fearful. They were not obsessed with risk. They do not define their Judaism by terror, not even the little old lady in a foreign country who had bad ankles. I'm not going to tell you what the rest of Judaism entails, because you should know it yourself. I'm not going to make your anonymous cosplay easier for you by giving you explicit pointers.

Fourth, let's talk about "looking and acting like a Jew".

The man guiding my conversion has been physically attacked multiple times in the past three months, to the point where he has stopped wearing his kippah in public--especially around his own home because he's concerned someone will find said home and stalk/attack him and his wife. He is the leader of a group of Jews who are reinstating Judaism in a land where there have been no Jews in centuries. There will, for the first time in half a millennium, be a Torah in this part of the world due to his tireless efforts. He has, immeasurably, made the world a better, more spiritual, and more Jewish place. He is the guy the press and the government and the local Christian and Muslim groups contact if they want to ask about Jewish holidays or the opinion of the local Jewish population. He is the guy who writes all the statements put out by the local Jewish organization, of which he is the president and founder. In that sense, even taking off the kippah won't shield him--he is definitionally, visibly Jewish.

And you may tell yourself "Oh, he must be born Jewish if he's doing all that, so of COURSE he's got a lifelong experience with Judaism and of COURSE he's had a lifelong experience of antisemitism so of COURSE he knows more about all of this than you do, Fire."

This man is a convert.

He has, to use your attitude, "only" been Jewish for one-third of his life.

So, like, what did you mean by "looking and acting like a Jew" being a thing gerim know nothing about? What did you mean about how gerim cannot "look" or "act" like Jews enough to experience antisemitism? What was that about gerim not being entitled to opinions because of their ignorance on what being a Jew is like? What kind of phrenology are you practicing to determine who was a born Jew and who converted? What alchemy do you believe in in which the flesh of a born Jew has mystical qualia that mine does not?

I believe that I will enter the mikveh a ger, and I will emerge a Jew. My belief is in line with literally every rabbinical source I have encountered and the opinion of every single Jew I've ever read... except yours. Mysteriously, you don't believe the mikveh is a closed practice only for Jews, and that the only way a goy could ever be permitted to enter a mikveh is so that they will emerge from it Jewish, just as Jewish as those who emerged from their parents' wombs as Jews.

Why don't you believe that? Why are you the odd Jew out?

Is it because you're pretending to be Jewish to sow dissent and hurt random strangers for your own cruel pleasure? I sure think so!

Fifth, let's focus on the next bit in greater detail. Why do you think I'm a Zionist when I've never stated one way or the other?

I'll tell you why!

You found my name on one of the Zionist Blocklists that your fellow antisemites put together. I'm not on all of them, but I have ended up on at least one! And you're going through that blocklist, pretending to be Jewish in order to harass the Jews you found on there. You think you can try to trick me into abandoning my baby-eating ways by suggesting that the "real Jews" don't think I'm one of them.

The funny part about that is that I didn't end up on that list by being a Zionist on main. I ended up on that list by talking about my conversion process, reblogging pictures of Judaica, talking to Jews, and reblogging posts from Jews. That's it. That is why I know those blocklists are utter BS--because I, like dozens of other Jews would tell you if you weren't an antisemitic troll, wasn't on a Zionist Blocklist at all.

I was put on a list of Jews for the crime of being Jewish on Tumblr. You are trying to hurt me because I was visibly Jewish online. You are only here because you found me on a Jew-Hate List.

But go ahead and tell me I've no idea what antisemitism is, or what being visibly Jewish is like.

Sixth: very bold of you to assume I don't have any ties to Israel! Are you sure about that? Are you really sure? It's not something I have ever discussed on my blog, and it's interesting that you would assume this means the answer is "no", when it could just as easily be "I don't discuss that detail of my personal life online with total strangers who are also antisemites and disgraces to their hate movements".

Guess which one is the correct answer! Go on, guess!

Seventh, I don't actually care about what you think about my conversion, even if you are Jewish (you aren't--this is a hypothetical). Conversion isn't a popularity contest. There are a ton of people who don't accept my conversion because I'm going to be Masorti. There are a ton of other people who will assume I don't think they're Jewish because they're not Masorti.

And I just... don't really care about the argument, overall. There are several Jewish opinions which matter to me. The man who's guiding my conversion, the Rabbit teaching my conversion class, and the beit din who will interview me. That's actually pretty much it! If other Jews don't think I'm Jewish, they're entitled to their opinion and they don't have to spend time with me or invite me to their services. They're justified in controlling who accesses their sacred spaces. It'd be nice if they weren't jerks about it, but you can't always get what you want.

Just to be totally, abundantly clear, then: even if you were Jewish, you'd still be wrong to tell me that I'm not and that my opinion is meaningless. It's just useful to point out that you aren't Jewish, about which I have one more point to make!

And last (don't worry, I know you stopped reading long ago, but I like to be thorough), I do not know why you're asking me to refute, or support, an ideology for a nation in which I do not live. I don't have an opinion on Kahanism more complex than "I don't like what I've heard about it". If you'd asked me my opinion on the Vox/PP alliance in Spain, I could write for days! Or if you asked me about how horseshoe theory is validated by the alliance between red fash, green fash, and Republicans in the US--I can and have written about that, too!

I don't write about Israeli politics in depth for the same reason I don't write about the political situation in Ukraine, or Canada, or Myanmar, or Qatar, or Ghana, or Greenland, or any of the other places I don't live. It seems silly for me to pontificate on political situations I don't understand when, most often, all I can offer is what I already said: "sounds bad, if true".

Here, let me liberate you from your self-constructed prison: you don't have to have a strong and informed opinion on every single thing occurring on the face of the Earth. It's okay for you to not know stuff. You do not have to form a hard opinion instantaneously because a stranger on the Internet demanded it. You can, and should, plead ignorance and move on with your life. You will be a far happier person if you are not ruled by obsessive anxiety regarding things you don't know. STOP MAKING HOT TAKES.

But, of course, I kid. I know, the same as you, why you brought up Kahanism. It's because you're the same anon who's going around harassing Jews by pretending to be Jewish, and you finally learned how to spell "Kahanism" correctly, and you're very, very proud of yourself and wanted to show off.

I am glad you found out it's not spelled Khanism!

This is the thing, brother. You are lying through your teeth. You are trying so hard to hurt Jews, and you're convinced this tactic will work. You want to create infighting among all the zionazi scum you despise. You and folks like you pretended to be Jews who were outraged over a bar mitzvah being performed in a television program, and you pretend to be Jews who are salty about the existence of converts. But I've gotta tell you, as a ger, I can still see right through you. It's all pretense.

You are as Jewish as an Easter ham.

Give up the game, anon. You're not clever enough to play it.

[smellystars]

Storm Warning

You’ve finally made it, after a years of hard work you and your boyfriend Lucas have saved enough to take a vacation to Miami.

You were so excited to finally take a break and relax with your handsome boyfriend. The best part is that you are always going to be outside so you don’t have to worry about Lucas’s constant powerful gas. When you both started to become serious you went through the normal stages but one thing that Lucas always avoided was farting in front of you. You never really thought about it, you let rip in front of him and he would laugh and say, “hahaha good one”. You thought that maybe he didn’t feel comfortable enough but that was wrong, “my gas can be uhhh kinda strong” Lucas said nervously. You insisted that you could take it and that he had nothing to worry about. He begrudging accepted what you said and let one rip. A stream of gas 40 seconds long excited his ass

BRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

You fell to the ground from the shaking caused by his gas. The smell filling your apartment in an instant. Furniture, cabinets and loose objects shaking and moving. “Ahhhhhhh not too bad for a small one right?” Lucas says while looking at you nervously. You pick yourself up, “oh it’s not that bad, wow you weren’t kidding about them being strong huh?” You both laugh and from then on he would give you a warning before letting rip so you could prepare yourself but most of the time just let rip after work for an hour so nothing would get damaged.

You sit on the beach soaking in the sun as Lucas runs right in front of you wearing a blue, white speedo. You can’t help but just stare at your boyfriend well trained body. While staring you hear a loud groan, “oh I’ll be right back babe.” Is all you hear as Lucas runs down the beach in the opposite direction. You wonder what that was about but remember that sushi he had ate before coming to the beach and started to worry about the effects that would have on Lucas.

You don’t have to wait as you feel the ground shaking, and then hear an extremely loud deafening sound

BBRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBLLOOOOOPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH

Sand castle topple, beach towels, bags and umbrella are sent flying all the way to the other side of the beach. Gale force winds hit you and everyone else in the line of fire. Some people get blown down the beach other dig their feet into the sand to try and make their way to one of the buildings lining the beach. a literal sandstorm created as a result of Lucas’s destructive gas. The smell of a gas station bathroom spreading across the beach and surrounding area that not even the outdoors could dissipate. As the fart keeps going for 5 mins there was a pause. You wipe the sand from your face and make a b-line for where Lucas should be. You find him on all fours panting from the extreme amount of gas that just exited him.

“LUCAS ARE YOU OKAY?” you yelled as your ears were still ringing. “Yeah sorry babe I didn’t know it would be this bad��Lucas says while panting a brownish haze now all over the beach, some people unconscious and those who weren’t are uncontrollably coughing.

“Well at least it’s over. Let’s………” you were interrupted as Lucas stomach gurgles again. You yell, “GET INSIDE, GET EVERYONE OFF THE BEACH”. The beach goers scramble grabbing those unconscious and running inside of the closest buildings. Lucas then gets up and runs towards the sea and starts to swim a bit out. You follow him swimming behind him watching each glistening wet cheeks move with each stroke. Once a bit out Lucas floats with his back facing you, he hold his stomach and tells you to get in front of him. You listen and swim to front of him and hold him by the side. He looks at you and says “I’m sorry”. In an instant the area around you was turned into a hot tub, bubbles rising constantly not being able to see into the water. Fish start to rise from the depths dead and then you hear Lucas grunt.

BBRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBLLLLOOOOOPPPPHHHHHHHTTTTTTTT-VVRRRRRRRRRRRBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTT-FFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRBBBBBTTTTTTTPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH

A giant wave is formed behind Lucas, as big as a tsunami. The wave makes way towards the beach hitting land and destroying the buildings along the beach and making its way into the city a bit destroying the closest buildings to the beach and spraying smelly water halfway ingot the city. You look at Lucas“Whew I feel so much better” he says as you both look at the destruction left in his gassy wake.

[deardolli3]

your blog is so cool! could you maybe do some erwin romantic or dadwin headcanons? thank you! 💫

erwin smith relationship hcs

a/n: hi lovie!! im sooo late to this but ofc!! thank you for requesting and ill be more active, i promise, so please request 🩵

• erwin is literally perfect when it comes to having a poker face, like lady gaga wrote the song cause she saw this man😭 you can never tell what he’s feeling but he can read you like a book, just by the way you spoke to him, or the way your eyes shine a different way.

• hes good at reading emotions but bad at comforting you (sorry but!!) and you could be like crying and hes just like

”there there…” 😟😕🙁 while rubbing your back and sighing deeply.

• he strikes me as one of those always on vacation to tropical ass countries guy. like with those hawaiian print shirts unbuttoned and swim pants on, he is so ready to sit on a beach chair while you do god knows what.

• never the type to get drunk and be flirty but he does get tipsy and tries to find you immediately because he wants to talk to you and maybe even dance a little

• take him to family events, THIS MAN GETS DOWNN!! all your aunties and family members can be on him and hes just like “why thank you, yes yes i know. oh wow is that for me?” 😁 and yes he can work them hips

• he doesn’t talk around people alot but with you its a straight yappathon with whatever the hell is on his mind and the topic changes within like two sentences😭

• he tans so easily its INSANE. like okay white boy my culture is not ur costume!!😣

• always always always remembers details about you, “why are you hanging out with her tonight i thought WE hated her?” and you gotta give him the new lore cause he not so secretively loves gossip. like okay boy what else you lurking around for😢

• omg he is so fucking funny when hes not trying to be😭 like shit goes down and he says something stupid and everyone’s laughing while hes sighing deeply wondering why they never laugh when he’s trying to be funny.

• sleeps like a rock, like a literal rock next to you, and he won’t ever budge. but if he hears any sudden movement or you hug him he jolts up and looks you dead in the eye like he just got shot😣 fucking dramatic ass LMAOA.

• if you have any kids best believe they’re very well mannered. OMG he goes hunting or fishing or whatever with them and he looks so fine like phewww…

• ladies… this man is not kinky please😭😭 vanilla sex or just no freakiness at all unless you initiate it.

• dates will always be dinner dates, and always so well though out and planned well. he either takes you shopping with all them carrrds or feeds you pasta and lobster. OR he takes you to run errands with him or go fishing/hunting/to a shooting range.

• in terms of pda, he always has a hand around your waist, but the most he can do is kiss you on the forehead to say goodbye or wrap a arm around your shoulder as you walk. and YES, he knows the sidewalk rule so you best be on the right damn side away from the cars.

• this man can bbq but not cook… he was literally trained to be a father/husband😭 you guys definitely have those backyard/patio bbqs.

• never ever wants you to overwork yourself, HELL YOU DONT EVEN NEEDD A JOB WHILE YOURE WITH HIM!! he just needs you to sit at home and look pretty for him when he comes back at night.

• definitely a business man in the modern day world, i would say a sergeant but maybe he retired from that position.

• he would want around three kids!! but whatever you want of course. he loves his kids endlessly and will literally kill for them. they have to learn how to protect themselves, they have to learn how to haggle with people, they have to learn to not be taken advantage of or treated as stupid, and they will pull the “do you know who my father is?” card when someone threatens them😭

• if you ever watched the notebook!! he would literally renovate a whole house for you or build you one and grow old together <33 he would build it however you want it, with a balcony, with a marble kitchen, etc, anything his love wants.

• and yes, he loves unconditionally even if he doesn’t show it so much through words, he will do it through his actions. he’ll get you anything you need even if you don’t ask, from a cup of water to a fucking car. HE WOULD EVEN BUILDDD A CAR FOR YOU??

• he loves you so so so much, and he literally cannot lose you😣 he would die for you, kill for you. he would bathe you in stars and swirl you onto the moon if you wanted, anything that’s possible? he’ll do for you.

HE LOVES YOU!!

— aaaa i hope you liked this!! 🩵