#you cant tell who's trans and who isnt by looking at them and so even cis women and cis men and trans men and intersex folk can experience

[psychiatricwarfare]

i think sometimes people forget that there's more than one way to be trans & that bigots Do Not Care what flavour of trans you are, they want us all dead so can we please stop arguing over things that literally dont matter and lift each other up instead of tearing each other down? im sick of this afab vs amab, tme vs tma, transmasc vs transfemme, the total erasure of transnonbinary & trans intersex individuals (or just nonbinary & intersex ppl in general). im so so so sick of all these new boxes we're trying to stuff each other in when elder trans ppl fought so hard against those boxes!!

for fucks sake, no one trans group has it any better or any worse than any other trans group, we just have it different, the transphobes want us ALL dead - whether its for different reasons or by different means, dead is dead. they dont care if youre tme afab transfemme or if youre tma axab transfemmasc or if youre a god damn clown fish. its all the same "agenda" to them.

im so fucking done seeing posts saying "trans women have No idea what its like to deal with....." or "TMEs fuck off! you're not welcome here!" or any of that shit because THAT is exactly how white supremacists get a foothold in. THAT is how we lose this battle. fucking THAT is how we get divided and conquered. they want us to split up into smaller groups and fight each other, they want us to be too weak to fight back and the way to do that is to wittle down our numbers & until they can get away with outright killing us in broad daylight (more than they already have) they have to make do with splitting us up and turning us against each other

im just sick and tired of all the infighting, you're either with ALL of us or you're with the white supremacists, idfc if you are trans yourself. we need all of us to work together and put our differences aside. it is not that fucking hard to sit yourself down and go "ok well they may not know what it's like to be me, but i dont know what its like to be them either" and realise that turning against other trans ppl just bc "they dont understand" is ridiculous and just a bad move when we're in the middle of a fight for our fucking lives. who cares who's "more oppressed" this isnt the god damn olympics, this is the fight for human rights and right now we need to focus on keeping all of us alive. save your petty irrelevant fucking discourse for when we aren't focused on trying to keep our community ALIVE

[astr0exe]

hiiii!!!!!! i love your writing and i’m kinda new so sorry if i overstep any boundaries 😭 but wondering if maybe perv stepdad/dbf price with daddy kink and light puppy play? (collars,leash stuff like that but please no stuff ab eating out of a bowl or smth like that)only if your comfortable!!!! i am so so so so sorry if it’s too specific! have a good day/night!

hey this is stuck in my brain rn sooo pervy stepdad Price wit transmasc reader

TW : Age gap (Price is over 40 reader is 21) , Pervy-stepdad Price, Puppy play (collar, leash, ears, tail) , slight possible non-con due to coercion, trans masc reader, praise, tiny bit rough, daddy kink, filth. pure filth

sorry if this isnt fully want you wanted but i git carried away !!

no proof read, 726 words

☆ write after cut ☆

Pervy-stepdad Price with a stepson who just came home from university, freshly turned 21 coming home to see his mum and step-dad.. not realising what it does to Price, he has to try hide his bulge when ever you speak to him and look at him with your wide eyes and cute little smile.

Pervy-stepdad Price who owns a collar and leash and just NEEDS to see them on you. You who owns puppy ears and a tail buttplug… Oh when Price realised you were into the same stuff he was.. he had to lock himself in the ensuite and jerk his cock until his wrist hurt and cheeks were flushed bright red even with the cold water beating down on him.

Pervy-Stepdad Price who, when your mums away on a business trip, confronts you about the tail and ears he found. Manipulating you, telling you that if you don’t do what he asks (suck his fat dick) he will tell your mum about your.. disgusting kink.. Obviously with that threat hanging in the air you do it, you get on your knees infront of your stepdad, a man over double your age and you lick and suck his cock till he is groaning and grabbing your hair in a tight fist to shove his dick down your wet throat.

Pervy-Stepdad Price who notices how your thighs rub together unconsciously when he places the ears on your head, making you whine in embarrassment but you dont protest cause you know your just a silly puppy keening for Prices attention:(

Pervy-Stepdad Price with fingers of pure bliss, they are just thick enough to hit all the spots you need, your moans and whimpers mixing with the almost squelching noises coming from your soaked pussy. If anything his words make you more wet “come’re puppy, yeah.. grind on my fingers like a helpless bitch in heat.. good boy..” he would growl in your ear lowly, his other hand moving down to his hard cock which is bobbing against his lower stomach, so perfect.

Pervy-Stepdad Price with you, his little puppy, laying on the couch, your legs stretched wide for him, his tongue dipping in and out of your dripping cunt. He decides now is the time to put your adorable tail on.. He gets fully between your legs, and slides his fingers into your pussy, before removing them, ignoring your whine of protest and slowly working 2 fingers into your extremity tight arse “Shit.. lovie your little arse is so fucking tight..” he cant decide if he wants to eat out both your holes today but decides against it, getting the buttplug situated.

Pervy-Stepdad Price who bites at your neck like a rabid animal, he just needs everyone to know who you belong to. Him. Your stepdad. Your daddy, and you know it as well dont you? moaning quietly “daddy.. fuck i need you..” and his resolve snaps.

Pervy-Stepdad Price with a cock above average size by both length and girth, you just know he will stretch your little hole so much:( When he finally loses all his patience and slides himself into your little cunt he nearly cums straight away like some god damn teenager. Your hole is so so tight with the added pressure in your arse from the buttplug, he reaches for the collar and leash, fastening the collar around your neck, your skin contrasting the pretty light blue of the collar

Pervy-Stepdad Price who praises you to no end, his words mixed with the deep almost mean thrust of his hips making you sob and moan loudly “Such a good boy.. Daddy’s good puppy.. fuck yeah.. you can take it pup.. fucking take it…” Ugh his groans down your ear as he fists the leash making your airway slightly restricted and your back arch.

You, the little puppy, who BEGS for your daddy to breed you, to get you full and pregnant and well.. Price can’t resist he ruts into you wildly his finger rubbing and jerking your little dick until you clench around him so much he thinks hes going to cum himself, his pace faltering as he nears “shittt puppy.. gonna cum in you.. get you to have my kids yeah?”

[jinbeisluffy]

I see so many posts over different social media platforms about sexuality/gender hcs for the strawhats and i want to add in my own two cents because i believe im very correct (but anyone’s opinion is valid so long as it doesnt go against canon coding)

Luffy - the most aroace and trans guy to ever BREATHE. i dont mean aroace in that hes somewhere on the spectrum where he can still be attracted to people, because he cant. this guy had never grasped the concept of romance and never will, because theres no reason for it to him. hes trans because i say he is, i dont have many reasons for THAT but its just the signals hes sending me. trans to trans communication trust

Zoro - gay. thats it thats the post. no but i dont ship luffy with anyone but zoro is just attracted to literally any man who is strong, thats his criteria and thats all he ever needs. is he aware of it? not at all, he has no idea that its not normal to get bricked up by the thought of other men

Nami - i havent seen a bigger lesbian in media ever, genuinely i dont think any other character is as obviously lesbian as she is. she loves girls unapologetically no matter what, supports all girls at the end of the day (cough kalifa) . i also hit her with the asexual beam because i can, specifically demisexual because i THINK so

Usopp - while i wanna consider kaya, i wanna consider sanji too and thats making me lean between bi or omni even if omni is a label under the bi umbrella. its more a question of if he recognises his preference for men or not, because he does prefer then at the end of the day. the ace beam bounces from nami to usopp because he too doesnt feel anything and doesnt think about it either

Sanji - oh my god where do i begin. maybe just the blatant queer coding of wci as a whole?? of course hes attracted to women, thats not an aspect you can remove or just toss around to being something else. he loves and respects women, but he is so QUEER. all of wci is just queer coding, its a queer story and sanji is a queer character i will die on this hill. he probably has some kind of gender issues too, what specifically? no clue, but he likes people of multiple genders and is in deep denial about it all the time he wont ever truly accept it but he can one day as a treat live with that fact

Chopper - oh hes a reindeer he cant really have a sexuality DID WE FORGET THE FACT HES HUMAN TOO ISNT THAT LIKE HIS WHOLE THING, NOT BEING A MONSTER BUT ALSO A HUMAN. HE IS BOTH? i dont have any specific labels to slap onto him, just that hes a people lover and encourager of literally everything. ace beam bounces onto him too

Robin - trans trans trans trans trans trans trans trans you will accept robin transfem into your life right here right now. she can like anyone, she has no label on it, she just likes people and cant bother with genders or anything like that. the ace beam actually skips her because if they were doing a hear me out cake she’d be the one putting all of the crazy things. freak. (lovingly)

Franky - HOW TRANS CODED IS IT NOT TO REBUILD YOUR OWN BODY TO BECOME A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF AND TO REBUILD YOUR LIFE IN A WAY YOU WANT, BUT GOING BACK TO WHAT YOU LOVED ABOUT YOUR OLD SELF, AND EMBRACING IT. literally, trans goals. he modified his body and went i might as well give myself top surgery and an awesome dick while im here!! sexuality wise hes a lover of everyone, but he has preferences for women (robin) but encourages all bromances (with brook)

Brook - THIS IS WHERE IM MOST PASSIONATE!!!! people can say that hes the token straight grandpa. but theyll never understand the joy of old gay brook had a romance with his captain, the joy of brook trying to subtlety let the other strawhats know he accepts them (he isnt subtle at all and everyone knows). look at brook in drag twice for no reason and tell me he isnt queer, in some way. the ace beam finally hits someone and its brook, insert skull joke here

Jinbei - very specifically old gay man who didnt really do much throughout his youth, he always knew he liked men but he never had TIME to do anything, too busy being awesome and a father i fear. now that hes with the crew he isnt automatically gonna seek anyone out, but hes also not gonna restrain himself from finding interests in people, hes being more selfish now and thats good for him. finally the ace beam hits jinbei and proceeds to fly off towards other op characters that i might talk about some other time

can you tell im asexual and love projecting onto characters with it !!!!

[starwikia]

suicide cw

look i have been in this area before mentally. it sucks and i wouldn’t wish this on anyone. but, and this is going to sound callous, but i don’t feel any sympathy for james somerton. even if i hope he’s like. not dead. But thats all the amount of goodwill im willing to give him. The more i think about this really, the more angry i am. 

ngl this entire situation is another example of how white people weaponize their mental illness to avoid consequences. Im seeing it in real time.

this man has a continuous habit of using self-harm as a get-out-of-jail-for-free card. in both of his apologies, he has worded his supposed attempts in ways that were clearly meant to guilt people who displayed his plagiarism and overall horrendous history of racism and misogyny. i say supposed because, while i’m not saying those are lies and this would he such a fucked up thing to lie about that i don’t want to think he has, unfortunately, it’s been proven again and again that his word can’t be trusted, as he’s known to lie to try get out of consequences. Hes a proven liar. him lying about this is actually the best case scenario, because no one should go through this entire situation, wouldnt wish this on anyone, but you can only do this so often before people stop sympathizing with you. is this callous? Yeah, but like. I’m actually fucking angry he cant straight up take no as an answer. that this is how he reacts realizing he cant be one of the Cool Kidz™️ on youtube anymore. he acts like he DESERVES a career, like its not a privilege hes lost due to his own actions.

He lied about apologizing and forgiving people, he lied about giving the money to hbomberguy to give to ppl he ripped off (yknow, instead of doing it himself), he lied about the jessie gender situation and rewrote the narrative to make it so he isnt the bad guy, and hes the victim all along actually!

you can’t tell me that supposed last message of his isn’t meant to be a 13 reasons why esq attempt to deflect the blame “look i’m going to kill myself and it’s all YOUR PEOPLES FAULT for not letting me achieve my DREAM of being filmmaker IN PEACE!!! I just wanted Nick’s (the guy who I have thrown under the bus again and again) portfolio up!! Im just being a good friend dont you all FEEL BAD” he refuses to take ANY ACCOUNTABILITY of any of his actions and he IS STILL trying to shove the blame over to other people again.

it’s also pretty ironic people are like “uhhh well hbomber’s fans harassed him!!!” like hbomber outright told people NOT to HARASS JAMES!!! ALSO acting as if james doesn’t have a very real documented history of STRAIGHT UP sending his fans to harass and threaten smaller creators, more notably women, trans, and bipoc creators. especially after he’s stolen typically very personal anecdotes so he could profit from them. so why can he do it but the second people are like “hey this guys an actual piece of shit.” and he can’t handle it suddenly people are trying to white knight his shit? like no he doesn’t get that. he doesn’t get that at all just because he couldn’t handle the consequences of his actions. 

what? were supposed to stay quiet about a man profiting off of other minorities because he wanted to be the spokesman for all gay people? people tried to solve this on a smaller, more private scales for YEARS and he kept doing it. it was clear that the giant public video was the ONLY way to get people to notice. HE WOULDVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH STEALING 87 FUCKING THOUSANDS WORTH OF DOLLARS. HE CANT HANDLE THE FACT HE CANT GET AWAY WITH IT. 

am i supposed to feel bad for the guy who basically threatened a trans woman with the police? i don’t care what anyone says, it’s so fucking obvious that he threatened jessie by implying he was getting the police involved in their conflict. what am i supposed to act like that didn’t happen? are we supposed to pretend like he didn’t glorify nazi’s and outright said that gay people made up a good chunk of the nazis? That he didnt say america joined ww2 bc they were jealous of the NAZIS. WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO FUCKING SAY THAT. but then? He gives women (not even women most of the time, he misgenders nonbinary ppl constantly) shit for writing mlm. are we supposed to act like he doesn’t straight-up sees himself superior and better than people of color and steals their works to put himself on a pedestal? Are we supposed to act like he didnt spit on our elders by saying “only the boring gays survived aids” like man! Fuck you! He BLANTANTLY MAKES UP HISTORY TO PUT HIMSELF ON A PEDESTAL!! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO REWRITE LGBT HISTORY TO SUIT HIS FUCKED UP NARRATIVES!

yes this sucks ! no one deserves this but no one should be making him a martyr. Thats what he fucking WANTS! He wants to be immortalized as a victim!! (again, supposedly, it was reported hes alive but its not confirmed).

The shit he got isnt near the amount of fucking callous behavior hes done again and again. Again, to drill this point, EVEN IF HE DIDNT CALL THE POLICE HE THREATENED A TRANS WOMAN INTO THINKING HE DID!!! The fact he tried to use a head injury to justify years of the outright ghoulish shit fucking astounds me. Why the fuck did anyone in his life thought it was a good idea to let him TRY to come back. in the end, he had options. he didn’t need to try to make a comeback. HE DIDNT NEED TO FUCKING LIE OR IGNORE THE SHIT HE WAS CALLED OUT ON the reality is, he wanted to come back thinking he could shove it under the rug, was told that no dude, you’re not allowed to be a youtuber anymore. you’re done. you need to move on and went full nuclear. it’s not on anyone’s hands but his own. HES BEEN DOING THIS TO HIMSELF!! But nah man we cant call his shit out bc hell may or may not kill himself. Fuck the other minorities who have the same issues but worse and sometimes BECAUSE of him. This is going to SUCKKKK so bad when other ppl, specifically white gays, are going to weaponize this shit to get away with their stuff.

[elysiuminfra]

if you unironically think men are so misogynistic now because people are “mean” to them or that somehow, it is women’s jobs to be nicer to men to convince them that maybe women are actually people and not objects, you are a fucking idiot who cannot see three years into the past. do you really think this is because women are too mean to men? they aren’t mean enough, clearly.

cis men benefit greatly from the patriarchy. from conservative families to liberal, men are taught that they deserve a lot. they deserve as much space as they want. they deserve as much time to do whatever they please. they deserve to have as much sex as they want, with whoever they want. they deserve to do whatever the fuck they want, and this is how it’s been for a very, very long time. men compete with men for status. men reinforce the masculine ideal of power, control, and freedom, often by tightly enforcing that upon other men. from fathers to sons, from peer to peer. you should always be a man’s man. you should always look out for your brother. even if it means women are shoved out of every space imaginable. even if it means joking about how all women are bitches and whores in the break room, away from where a woman could hear. even if it means defending your rapist friend and continuing to hang out with him. even if it means accusing sexual assault victims of being liars, of being sluts, of asking for it, because no man could ever be at fault.

so why is it MY job to coddle cis men? why is it MY job to reach across that gap, and not other men deconstructing masculinity and building positive communities with other men? why is it anyone else’s job other than men’s? by putting the responsibility on women, you are once again reinforcing the idea that women have to take care of men. it can never be a man’s responsibility to improve his outlook. and it’s not safe for anyone who ISNT a cis man to try to convince violent, patriarchally-drunk cis men that we’re human beings!!! trans men cant! trans women can’t! cis women can’t! im a transmasc butch lesbian and i certainly can’t!! fun fact: do you know how many men are out there that proudly tell you how much they want to rape you the moment they find out you’re a lesbian? a not so small amount! nobody can EXCEPT for cis men!!!

it’s tiresome! so no, we shouldn’t be nice to cis men to convince them everyone else who isn’t a cis man is a fully fleshed human being who deserves to take up as much space as they do. CIS MEN should take that upon themselves. but a lot won’t. a lot will refuse to. because it’s too hard. and the benefits they enjoy are too great to give up. but to be honest, good fucking luck to every lower-to-middle-class man out there that decided to vote for trump. the patriarchy will certainly not save you from end-stage capitalism under trump. you’ll be ground under the wheels too, and you would have asked for it.

[cios-correct-opinions]

@evilkaeya @aaabatteryy @starrynightarchive

see my other post about this here

to tl;dr this: when it comes to fandom and content creators, ppl tend to make content of the characters they already love and thus think about most often, which leads to, at times, male characters getting genderbent into women either thru cis or trans hcs, bc they are both genderbending, thats the definition of the term bc youre changing their gender, and getting mad at people for not, in your opinion, "appreciating" the female characters enough, is not doing anything except making people feel bad for not having the "correct" feelings about a character at best, or making them actively angry and thus fueling them to create more of that thing you hate out of spite at worst (for you anyway, not for the people who like it).

this doesnt mean they dont give a shit abt the other characters who arent their faves, but to create a work of art, you need to be able to like. care enough to do it. and that requires more care than just a general enjoyment or appreciation of a character, especially if the work in question is time intensive/would be time intensive, like writing a chapter fic/thousands of words long oneshot, or making a fully rendered piece of art, etc. obvi this will depend on the skill and energy levels of the artist we're talking about but yknow, on a general scale

op of this post blocked me so i cant respond directly on it but, for context

first of all: i'm not illiterate but i'm beginning to think some people on this post might be, given this response, because it is so clearly Not what i was talking about it's a little wild, actually!

also i hate to tell yall this, but the reason you don't often see people genderbending female characters to male anymore is bc of the spread of radfem ideology thru fandom spaces like wildfire. ppl genuinely lose their shit when ppl even have transmasc or trans man headcanons for characters assumedly cis female in the source material (which is genderbending btw. them being trans doesnt mean it isnt genderbending anymore you are still changing their gender thus it is genderbending thats the definition fellas) bc they fucking hate men and the idea of men existing

sorry not sorry but if you get mad at ppl who genderbend female characters into transmascs/trans men (transmascs aren't always genderbends, bc you can be transmasc and also a woman, but i digress/for the sake of brevity...) and go "you're TAKING AWAY a GOOD FEMALE CHARACTER!" i need you to stop for a second and consider why these people - most of whom are trans men/transmascs themselves - might be doing that to a character they like.

9/10 times when i see a cis genderbend of a male character to be female, the person doing it is a cis woman. when i see genderbends, of any kind, of a female character to be male or masc? it's almost always done by a trans man and/or a transmasc. and inevitably, they are almost always dogpiled for it with disgusting levels of hate. i've seen it happen so many times i stopped attempting to count a long time ago

don't come up here saying "you NEVER see-" because actually i see all of those things happen all the time. ppl love genderbending men characters into women, or emasculating/demasculinizing/feminizing them in order to make them personally more appealing, or saying "[mlm ship] would be better if it was two girls/wlw/two fem-aligned/etc" all the fucking time. and while i realize this is often a way for the people who say this to like, try to lash out at common misogynistic/lesbiphobic/transmisogynistic/etc sentiment irl, in doing so, they are not doing it in a way that allows for a nuanced understanding of their fellow fandom-goers. they make blanket sweeping statements and then dogpile people who disagree

the moment you start treating entire demographics of people as if they are a hivemind or a single identity, the moment you decide that something "never" happens bc you personally have not seen it? youve already lost any possible chance you mightve had at making a good point

[walnutcookie]

CAN I HEAR ABT YOU TSP X COOKIE RUN AU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEAS

AUAUUAHWOWHAOHDKF THMAKYOU SO MUCHH FOR THIS ASK /GEN YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IVE BEEN BRAINROTTINF OVER THIS AU .....

i dont know what to talk about specifically so BLEHHH WORD VOMIT TIME💥💥💥 ill try to seperate them into sections so its a liiiittle easier to read ?

sorry if this isnt written the best its late and im tired GZHDJBFF

Storykeeper

SO . The narrator in this au is timekeeper AKA storykeeper since. keeper of the story :]c shes like a mix of the tsp narrator and timekeeper where shes very dedicated to her story and gets worried about stanley sometimes but also she often gets BORED and enjoys to see stanley stray off the path and even encourages him to!!!

The Stanleys

these are the four stanleys

almond, walnut, roquefort, and cappuccino

sk just Plucked them out of a regular timeline and put them in her little story to watch them scurry around like rats in a maze. All of the stanleys are in completely different office buildings but in rare instances they collide and cause anomalies where two or more stanleys encounter each other which can cause a whole lot of confusion!! sk also puts them in the same office building for fun sometimes👍

sk is everywhere all at once so theyre able to monitor each stanley at the same time :] and to clarify just like canon tsp none of the stanleys can actually see her its more like a voice inside their head. The stanleys cannot talk although they can still think!! they cant communicate with storykeeper and she cant read their minds but they can communicate telepathically with each other if close enough

ALSO all of them are just called stanley!!! sk had to give them different colored ties to differentiate them (now they look like tally hall/j). three of them are trans women and one is nonbinary but theyre all just. Misgendered since they are taking the role OF stanley (this is not fun for the stanleys but there is nothing they can do about it)

Almond

i like thinking about how all of the different stanleys act a lot. almond is the more Serious one who tries to follow every direction. Unfortunately after like the third time of getting the standard ending storykeeper gets bored and just Does things to him to try to get him to do something more interesting. This comes in the form of The Bucket when he starts hearing his daughters voice coming from it and becomes instantly very overprotective and attatched to it <3 he would do anything for that bucket.

even kill.

sk tells him that he has to kill cappuccino or else the bucket gets it and he does so Very enthusiastically!!! by choking him and bashing her head in with a dozen coffee mugs

but yeah. He obeys most commands :] sk thinks hes kind of bland but his dedication to that bucket is fascinating to her

Walnut

Walnut is VERY curious. A very interesting one indeed as she both obeys and disobeys sk depending on how appealing the options are to her!!!! literally all she wants to do is explore the offices she is going to check EVERY door handle and look in EVERY nook and cranny and crevice. she is going to examine every paper and sift through every desk. sk is very annoyed by this as it means that she is Slow as hell when actually going through the story but walnut tends to do some very unexpected things which is entertaining sometimes!!! In the end she is naturally drawn toward any sort of mystery so she can be persuaded to give up exploring so that she can solve it faster :]c

although she starts to become a little uneasy wandering through the seemingly endless building without a single other soul in sight and thus she is also given The Bucket!! it reminds her of her mother and she carries it around because she feels protected and not so alone :)

Roquefort

Roquefort is by far the most entertaining to storykeeper. they are absolutely unpredictable and they manage to find every single choice that wasnt intended to be possible!!! sk cant even be upset because she is FASCINATED by them. it gets to a point where she just creates new scenarios for them just to see what theyd do and she is very entertained by how they manage to surprise them every time

roquefort is also offered a bucket though refuses it. and then it appears in the next room. and the next. and Oh god they are TERRIFIED of that bucket because it keeps FOLLOWING them. they cannot stand it. they want it gone

Cappuccino

Cappuccino is basically the opposite of almond! girlie is so pissed that hes being told what to do all the time that she goes out of her way to do almost everything sk tells her NOT to do. storykeeper is infuriated by this at first but then sees the potential in it because it is VERY fun to use cappuccino as her own personal lab rat/stress ball and just! Do awful things to him!!! like have almond beat the shit out of him<3

he also is given a bucket but has the standard Attatchment to it as seen in tsp for no special reason other than its a bucket. Good way to make him do things!

OKAY thats all ill talk about for now but THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK AGAIN!!!!<333 thiz was so fun to type it made me so happy auauaua,,, if anyone has any further questions id be happy to answer ! :3

[transmandrake]

Disc Horse adjacent if you wanna skip but

I have mixed feelings on the current chatter around 'Female Socialisation' as a concept

First off its really wierd we only talk about it as Female but I almost never have heard the term Male Socialisation on here. Which is already quite telling on the current biases in this very insular part of the online world.

Second, like... Idk. As a trans person, was I really... socialised female? Not really. As soon as I hit like 6 I went into my tomboy I hate Pink and Girls phase and no one really fought against that.

So I agree somewhat that its a shit term.

But also like... I did grow up as a girl. I was perceived as a girl, I experienced the world as a girl, I was aware, to my dismay, that what I was affected how others saw me and treated me.

The beginning of my 'trans awakening' was when I moved to Ireland and was very confused as to why the boys in my class were oddly cold when I said I liked pokemon too, and wanted to play pokemon with them, and oh I play CoD too with my brothers and-

Oh. They see me as a girl. They don't want to be my friend, because people will make fun of them or me, or make jokes about us dating.

Nothing changed about me. It was the outside that came into view. I still feel this; I would not be transgender in a genderless world (Though I feel my body is Transsexual. Whole other tangent)

But I wasnt socialised in any way, really. Some people are but its not a replacement for 'afab', another flawed term (in its use not its intent) that just tries to hopelessly draw a line of girl trans and boy trans.

But undeniably I have experienced the world in a way that is not cis. The trans experience is not defined by your genitals, or how you were raised, but... The others. The perception. I can never unnexperience it. No matter how much I do or don't 'pass', no matter how much any of us do, we have an experience of... not been seen as what and who we are.

Transness isnt defined by presence, but absence. We do not get to be seen as ourselves, not for a long time if at all. And when we do, we cant erase that experience.

And thats why I hate these divides, even if I was 'socialised' in a distinct way; I don't feel unrepresented when something has a trans woman or man in it, because they're... trans. I know that. It doesnt matter who. The asethetics, the gendered traits, its all outer, irrelevant.

I grew up being perceived as something I am not. That is all that matters. The body is irrelevant. The dress. The identity.

Wolf in sheeps clothing. Sheep in wolfs clothing. Both disguised. It doesnt matter if the wolf is shot for being a wolf underneath or if the sheep is shot for looking like a wolf.

Who has it worse? Whose disguise fits better? Does the sheep lose privilege? Does the wolf gain it?

It doesnt matter. We all end up on the dinner plate or the tannery at the end.

Betrayed or hunted? Death. Always.

Stop shooting wolves. Only then will we both stop dying.

[yourbigendergremlet]

Here is a bunch of rambles ive vollected over a few months instead of posting them in seperate posts

Feeling dysphoric about my face not being masculine, putting my hair down because it makes me feel masculine, i hate hair in my face, all my headbands to hold my hair back have bows on it, rip off the bows, wear is like a sweatband

Manly ✨

Even if i was ever gonna come out to my family as bigender, they wouldn't just say it is terrible, they would just tell me that im making no sense because i am still female, a part of me is still that, but they just wouldn't get that a part of me is also male, they would just say it was a tomboy. If they continue to misgender me, they aren't exactly wrong because i am still female so calling me she/her is still not wrong so i cant get that angry about it

Feeling dysphoria? I just made a new album in my gallery and copied any images that made me feel like a guy into there and named it "i am a big strong beautiful manly man"

Felt like a guy today but went to church and was gonna sit in the mens side but then felt extremely uncomfortable so i went to the women's side but i also felt uncomfortable with myself there and aaaagh

Me making braclets with my pride flags but my family dont know that thy are pride flags because they dont know the bigender and genderfluid flags 😎

Complaining to my little brother about our mum not letting me buy men's clothes and freely shopping in the men's section with him because he has not yet been tainted by our parents and older sister's views and feeling amazing even though he still knows nothing about lgbt stuffs

Me thinking of a plan to ask my little brother what his views on the lgtvs are but descreetly so that if he doesnt like it he wont tell mother 0.0

Conversation switches to "lgbt people bad", me goes completely silent 0.0 me: "haha yeah thats weird..." when talked directly to desperately trying to switch topic while not outing myself

My sister wants to try new nail polish but already has some on so asks my little brother to do it on him, parents being like "nooo he's a boyyyy" and my sister being like "yeah guys wear nail polish now tho but he still isnt gonna be able to be a girl" and me being there like "yeah, he can put on nail polish" and internally screaming that guys can be girls if they are aaaa

Hahaha internalised transphobia :D for a while there

Me: am i actually genderfluid or am i actually bigender? Am i faking it? Am i pretending to relate to genderfluid and ftm trans people? Am i only just female and male or am i non binary also a bit??? Am i duel weilding my genders or am i fluctuating between them right now i have no clue??????? Is that why im feeling like thisssss???

Me going out somewhere, analysing how guys walk and act differently to girls and taking mental notes

Walking two steps like how people say guys walk and feeling absolutely on top of the world before going back to normal

Hoping im being subtle in trying to lower my voice so my family dont question it (and horribly failing at being subtle why is lowering your voice a bit so hard??)

Tumblr recomending me a suspicious amount of transgender posts before i had started properly questioning my gender or even thought about it

If i was a AMAB, being bigender would be so much easier becuase it's easier to just wear a skirt or dress and look distinctly feminine and then wear other stuff and look distinctly masculine but as a AFAB when you wear male clothes you still look female but who just bought something from the male section instead of looking like a guy

My mum speaking arabic and using the masculine versions of words for me as a joke but me internally pretending that she is using my correct pronouns 🥲

Me considering getting the school trousers so i can wear that sometimes instead of my skirt but also its my last year and no point spending money on uncomfortable trousers ill never wear again if its only for one year

So in church, women wear something called an isharba which is a headscarf meant to cover your hair to be modest.

Ive noticed that on days where im feeling like a girl, i can wear the isharba theoughout the mass but on days where im feeling like a guy i feel very uncomfortable wearing it and dont usually wear it in the mass. On some days i can wear it on and off throughout as well. It's intresting how my gender also effects something like wearing a head scarf, but i guess it can also be kinda like skirts in that sense? It was also a very subconcious feeling and even when i wasnt aware of what gender i was that day i would sometimes feel uncomfortable

Some days i feel more comfortable with the label bigender, and sometime im more comfortable with the label genderfluid and it's weird

Today im feeling more masculine, but also not fully so im more between he/they. But also there is a small twinge of feminine but only a small amount.

So i dont really feel like he/him, but i dont like they/them for myself, but then also im not he/she because there isnt a lot of she in me but im not he/him because i dont feel fully like a guy.

Im not none of them because i am all of them but to varying degrees to the extent where im not comfortable with any of the pronouns no matter how they are balanced. Idk? Are people just not meant to refer to me when i feel like this????

A very specific feeling i want to experience is wearing a dress while looking like a boy, i really want to have the feeling of being a cis boy wearing a dress so much

I didn't realise how important having facial and body hair was to me until my mum and sister kept saying that i should shave it. I really really love my body and facial hair and i really want even a small beard but my mum and sister made me shave my tiny moustache hairs and unibrow for christmas and tried to get me to shave my leg and arm hair and i feel super dysphoric without it being there anymore

That moment of delusion where i pretend to myself that the soft fabricy present my sister got for me was a binder and fantasise about it but its just a jumper in reality

My sister was talking about starfield and how stupid it was that you could put pronouns "why not just have it male and female lol" and i tried to laugh along but really just could not make it sound energetic and i felt kinda sick

Ive recently had the epithany that as a bigenderfluid person i am still allowed to be a femboy or a tomboy and that being feminine doesnt necessarily make me a girl that day and i am still a guy and-

[lexa-griffins]

Why does Clarke bind in your pillow princess au? How nervous was Clarke telling Lexa about it?

So Clarke was always your very typical blonde big boob popular girl, cheerleader, prom queen, dating the quarterback, sorority girl. The thing is, Clarke hated all of that with a passion, but it was what was expected of her, so she kind of went with it. When she found out in college she was bi she thought that maybe the weird feelings she had about her body and sexuality were due to that and now that she found herself she could express herself the way she wanted which mostly meant to her that she didnt want to present as girly as she had so far.

She still feels weird in certain clothes, like her body isn't right, so she tries to start working out but that isn't working either in stopping what she's feeling but at some point she assumes its just her being self conscious about herself. When she starts dating Lexa its when Clarke is really given a safe space to explore who she is. She gets to go for a more masc presentation of herself and while some days she loves her boobs, other days all she wants to do is rip them off and tries her best to make them look smaller. She starts with a tighter sports bra, which just hurts her back and makes her boobs ache before she considers binding.

Now, Clarke has always felt like a girl. She doesn't think she isnt a girl, she just isnt a girl-girl you know. She is but she isn't. And Lexa is a lesbian. A lesbian who adores boobs. And the idea of sitting down with Lexa and telling her Clarke wants to bind at least 50% of the time and that she might not be 100% a woman is SCARY. Clarke loves Lexa and she is so scared about it, not even just nervous, downright terrified. And i mean, Clarke has spent most of her life pretending the assumptions about hwr and her body are right, she could probably do the same with Lexa but she wants to marry this woman so she needs to come clean.

Clarke built this up in her head to be a complete disaster, for Lexa to breakup with her or even avcuse her of lying to her and instead all Lexa does is smile and kiss her because "love, if someone understands about weird feelings about gender its me" and its suddenly a massive weight off Clarke's shoulders.

And like, when Lexa helps Clarke bind for the first time? Lexa spends more time than Clarke online, trying to find a good binder that she trusts completely for Clarke to get and when it finally arrives Clarke runs to try it on., Lexa right behind her, making sure Clarke feels good in it and reminding her she cant wear it for too long and adjusting and readjusting it. And when Clarke finally looks at herself in the mirror she loves seeing herself in it as Lexa wraps her arms around her waist and rests her head on her shoulder smiling at Clarke in the mirror.

"You look so nice in it 🥰"

And then Clarke cant stop staring at herself "Was this how you felt?"

Lexa nods and kisses her cheek, "Yup. Exactly like this."

Femme trans lesbian gf 🤝 Masc non binary girl bi gf. They almost got the whole alphabet! 🤣

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

i am working through something and i wanted to express it somewhere but it feels too personal to say publicly.. and your blog feels like a safe place to confess things.. I want to go on hrt but am terrified of my mother's reaction. she knows im trans and is a lot more ok with it than she used to be but she still doesn't understand and is really bothered by her own lack of understanding. and my sense is that when my appearance changes from T shes going to hate it and be extremely upset. I'm an adult and I dont want to be controlled by my mother's feelings but due to my family dynamics growing up I have rotated around her feelings my whole life, its not as bad as it used to be but i still feel her feelings are dangerous and painful to me. I have a great support system, im blessed with so many friends and even my older siblings who I wasn't close with have been very supportive of me being trans. I dont need to be scared, materially I will be safe and loved even if my mother hurts me. but still its so terrifying to me. I want to get over this and not feel so dependent on her approval, but at the same time i dont even know if its possible. who can help wanting their mother to love them? or even more than love, because i know she does love me and thats really why its so hard, i want her to approve of me and be happy for me. I dont want the happiness i know i will feel from going on hrt to be ruined by her hating my life choices. my spiritual life is pushing me to take control of my life and bring my internal self and reality into the material, I know i cant keep ignoring my own physical desires and living with dissonance between the internal and external...so im moving towards that and i know i'll get there regardless its just terrifying and i wanted to talk about it.. uhh ya sorry this is so personal and emotional i hope it isnt uncomfortable for you or anyone else to read because i know these are really painful issues for many people. and i don't expect you to have any advice necessarily i know htese are huge issues to work through... i just wanted to express it and put it into the world that i'm working on this. thank you for letting me use your askbox to talk! hope your day is great

thankyou for trusting me with your confession anon <3 its not at all uncomfortable to me for you to confide your feelings.. Does anyone who's transitioned have supportive advice they cld leave for anon in the replies? i dont want to speak on something i havent personally experienced.

One thing i do relate to immensely is having a mother who doesn't try to see you as a unique individual, and becomes very displeased when u act in ways that don't align with her worldview. my mom will straight up tell me i look ugly with pink hair. my mom knows i make music but she's never asked to hear one of my songs. she doesn;t want to know about anything that interests me or my motivations in life. etc etc. and it's that same feeling of like, well, she does Love me i think, but i'll never feel that she truly approves of me. idk what the answer is..in my own life it has lead to me being quite a distant person, and rebellious in nature, i coped with it by purposefully leaning into the parts of me she disapproved of most. but idk if that's been healthy for me.

ultimately, we will disappoint everyone in our lives at one point or another.. Sometimes even when u try ur best to please someone it still doesn't work out. so please dont be too hard on urself <3 One thing im learning to cope with my ocd spirals (usually body dysmorphia or guilt related) is to "zoom out", try and redirect my thoughts to the bigger picture of life, it makes my own problems feel smaller in a way that doesn;t silence or dismiss them, just re-contextualizes them in that moment and makes it feel less imminent & overwhelming. mayb i can talk more about methods and analogies for this sometime.

Hope u can find some peace anon and i'm sure your hopes and dreams will materialize for u if u just keep going & focusing your energy on ur dreams. Stay safe <333 PMD9

[caramelmochacrow]

hey. im sorry but i need to just. spill this because it's sorta been in my mind for a few months, not outwardly, but a feeling i finally realized when this term ended.

(a vent about myself under the cut, sorry.)

i really hate how much im separated and need to hide myself from people. even if it's something simple and dumb to hide.

like, will you believe me if i say i need to keep my love of math from all of my classmates? everyone in my class hates it, they complain all the damn time and im the only one who genuinely enjoys math (even though i get frustrated with it sometimes). everytime i say "i love algebra!" or "i love graphs!" they look at me as though i am a liar or im some sort of freak. even my friends, they tell me to shut up when i say it out loud even though i dont say anything when they say they want our math teacher to die or they complain about something i like about math. (which kinda hurts me as well lol)

i understand the dislike for math, i disliked it before, but saying you genuinely want our teacher to die just because she teaches a subject you dislike is fucking dumb. i was starting to unlearn that, but now im starting to relearn it, which isnt helping myself at all. (i really want to tell them off about it, but i dont want to also.)

there's also my love of music that i've complained here before once, i need to keep it quiet because when they hear someone likes anime or j-pop they think im a weeb that's obsessed w anime men and want to see them butt naked. i hate it. i hate when i listen to rock, i hate when i listen to metal, but i love it so much i cant. i don't even listen to music in school anymore because i feel so self conscious about it. i feel that i'll be judged at and be seen as some sort of weirdo that they'll whisper about behind my back.

there's also the glaring obvious fact that im very-gay-for-girls-but-also-a-transguy. im in an all girls school, but there are a few non-cis people here for semi obvious reasons. i dont feel comfortable being out much for obvious reasons and i feel miserable here. most of the people here are actually chill w the trans people in my school but some just love asking uncomfortable questions like why they were there instead of the boys school or about their names. it freaks me out. it scares me. it makes me want to never come out and be myself. there was this time today when i was in my business class and made my nickname for this game 'birdboy' which led to my teacher asking why i used boy rather than girl, which led to me and my friend (another non-cis person and one of the people i came out to) saying that it just flowed better and not because i was a transguy. that teacher was surprisingly chill w trans people being in her class though, she asked my friend his preferred name and started calling him that, there's also another friend of mine in that class and she's also chill w him and his name, so i think she's ok.

other than my gender, there's my sexual orientation, which im not even sure on. i like girls, girls are can be pretty and handsome, but if i said that, they would hate me for being gay(?), which is also terrible because most people in my school are homophobic, yay. i got asked once for no fucking reason and without prompt if i liked girls or boys and i fucking panicked and said i didn't like either, which led them to asking if i was straight or bi (didn't even say lesbian, smh) which i also denied because i didn't rlly liked men anyway (what they got for not saying lesbian) and also didn't want to say i was gay(?) to my entire class before a fucking we went to our social studies class. i was so fucking scared when they asked that.

like, my school is accepting of queer people and lets them wear what type of uniform they like (except for me because my mom filled out my form for me which didnt let me put my preferred pronouns and kind of uniform) but it feels so hard to believe with the amount of hate towards specifically those who aren't fem presenting. it makes me feel torn apart with if i want to be who i want to be or be hidden behind this false version of myself that ive been hiding behind for almost my entire life. i feel so terrible.

i feel so disconnected from people of my own culture as well. i suck at tagalog, i know how to talk in tagalog, but i speak like a little five year old. every time i speak to other filipino people, there's a disconnection, there's a thing i dont understand or know about my own culture. i feel like some sort of failure as a filipino person.

im better at english than tagalog, so that means i must be fine, right? no. not at all. other than the other stuff i said above, they dont use american english, the one i learned. and since i lived my entire life in the philippines, i dont know some stuff in new zealand. they get shocked when i dont know something that is pretty much so well known here, when i dont know the british equivalent of an american word or when i dont know any maori words. i feel so fucking dumb every time it happens.

i just hate how much i dont know and how disconnected i feel from the world and those around me.

[mashiee]

Arlo family lore plspls its beneficial to my health

OKAY SO

so i got another ask specifically about [REDACTED] so im gonna talk abt that in a separate ask

BUT i will tell u abt my ocs for arlos fam (almost exclusively on his dads/valeries side, havent thought abt mom much) and general stuff for them and their relationships w eachother and arlo specifically

OKAY SO

i gave Arlo four older siblings because why the hell not and i can (i will get to the parents later)

also while im thinking abt it, im unsure abt Arlo's last name but im thinking Kingston right now

OKAY ANYWAY

also i just wanna say that when made character names i usually just smash sound together until i find something i like and hope it isnt a slur in another language

so what im saying is none of the names have any relevance or importance i just like their sounds and how they look

the first oc is Mammi (pronounced like ma'am-ee)

hes the oldest of the five of them, as of current uno time hes 25

he/him

amab cismasc

haven't decided sexuality. probably gay bc im gay and i self project too much

anyway he currently works with the authorities and is in a relatively high ranking position

but surprise surprise hes a spy for [ERROR]

(a secret organization :) also has a whole Thing that would require a separate post. a lot of new characters and also some world building. plus it also kind of plays into my bod au/rei fic)

but unfortunately the authorities are all fucking idiots and no one would even think of suspecting him

Valeire is the only one who does (she basically Knows) bc their father (her brother) was against a lot of the things the authorities did

but she has absolutely no proof so she cant do anything :)

fun fact Mammi and the entirety of Arlo's sibling except for Arlo himself all Loathe Valerie

2 of them want her dead

one would actively make an attempt on her life themselves if they ever saw her again

pst psst Mammi is the former

anyway Mammi is Tall (TM)

atm his height is fluctuating between 6'5 and 6'6 bc i cant choose

i just think itd be hysterical if Arlo's entire family on his dad's side were all giants

speaking of that let me take this time to tell you that Arlo is the youngest in his family aside from his mom and Valerie because i thought it'd be really funny

bc Mammi is in the authorities he often wears a suit and let me tell you this man looks fine as hell

not all men can work a suit but this one can

i still havent drawn any of the siblings except for a bit of the next one so my visuals of them are all p vague and could absolutely change but as of now

Mammi has long straight blond hair that roughly reaches his waist

its usually in a low ponytail

he has gold eyes :)

not sure what i want his ability to be yet (obviously a shield variant but what exactly) or how powerful

now for the lovely sister of the family

so the next one is Luss (pronounced how it's spelled)

shes 24 :)

she/her pronouns trans woman

6'4

lesbian

a model who travels quite a lot

long curly hair and gold eyes

always wearing red lipstick

a bit mischievous

her ability is... well its honestly kind of useless on its own

she can make shields that are full orbs but theyre only about the size of a fist

she did find out that they hurt if u throw them at ppl tho, esp if u put stuff in them

not sure what level yet. maybe a flat 6.0 . or maybe even like a 5.9 if i wanna get angsty and make like her family disappointed in her for not being a god tier or smth

very caring about her family

very forgiving person to a fault

strongly believes in second chances

Luss is the closest to Mammi

but she doesn't really feel like she has anyone close to her

(which ends up being a huge bonding point between her and Arlo)

tries her best to keep their family together but it's pretty futile

tries to be optimistic and cheerful and such but it's all an act

would do anything for her family, especially her siblings

sees herself a lot in Arlo for what little she's seen of him

and then we have the twins

as stated above, theyre twins

the older one is Sade, and Kallo is idk like two mins younger or smth

theyre both 21

Sade uses they/them pronouns and is nonbinary

Kallo uses he/they and like. he knows he's masculine but he isnt like a man or male

hes keeping his gender unlabeled but sometimes says its homeboy bc he thinks its funny

tbh im not sure what assigned gender at birth i want either of them to be so im just not gonna choose 🤷

both are 6'4 1/2 or sth

the twins are very separated from the rest of the family they want nothing to do w them

they both dont like Mammi

and hate Valerie

Sade wants her dead and if Kallo ever saw her again he'd lunge

they tolerate Luss and don't dislike her but it's not their favorite to be around her

they don't have any feelings towards Arlo

Sade is a fashion designer and occasionally works with Luss, occasionally

Kallo is a mechanic

originally i had him as a surfer dude but i decided not to

the twins live a long long way away from Wellston and the rest of the family and have no intention of ever going back

theyre both closest to eachother obviously

they both have a lot of trust issues (all of them do) and only really trust eachother

again not sure about abilities

might want Kallo to have some variation of his mom's rather than their dads tho, or maybe a combo of both

i think ill keep Sade w a shield variant

also dk abt sexuality 🤷

i feel like at least one of them would be aro or ace tho. maybe like one is aro and the other is ace lol

ok so now that im done w the siblings

mr dad man's name is Vickaius. hes Valerie's brother. not sure if i want him to be older or younger.

he has long yellow hair (usually up in a pony tail) and gold eyes

yes im terrible and am making him an attractive dilf you cant stop me i have no self control

if it makes u feel any better i'll probably make the mom a milf too

anyway

i kinda wanna give him a scar or two and/or an eyepatch

def a god tier. some type of shield ability. i think i want him to be like a 7.1

he/him or he/she not sure what i want

tbh probably bisexual but thinks he's straight for whatever reason

6'5-7 or smth

fun fact he's currently in jail :)

the moms name is Ariella and she has curly hair and blue eyes. im not sure if i want her to have blonde or brown hair

i dont have much to say abt her tbh. not bc i dont care abt her but like. in my arlo fam plot while she is relevant and important she isnt like. you dont need to know about her. if that makes sense

i do know that i want her to be exactly a whole foot shorter than Vickaius bc i think its hilarious

context for post: arlo hcs

other related stuff: [REDACTED]

[kasaneteto]

sorry i simply must complain for a moment

ive been complaining about my roommate too much on instagram so im doing it here instead 🖕 fuck you

MOTHERFUCKER CANNOT TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF!!!! tell me why this man is turning 26 NEXT WEEK and can’t remember to pay me back for the bills. won’t do any chores unless he’s asked to or HE has friends coming over. i literally feel like im living with a teenager.

i’ve recently realized just how much ive coddled him and made excuses for him because of his mental health struggles and the way his parents treated him his whole life. ive also realized that its entirely up to him to recognize that his mental health struggles & trauma are HIS problems to deal with and i shouldnt have to temper my expectations because of that. i can only tell him he needs therapy so many times before it’ll just go in one ear and out the other like every other thing i say to him. he is so incapable of any kind of self-reflection or self-awareness, has no concept of how his actions might affect others, can’t make any compromises without throwing a fucking tantrum about it. it’s exhausting. he requires so much attention and validation in order to be happy. being in the same room is like an invitation to talk to him. AND HE SAYS THE SAME SHIT. its like ive exhausted all dialogue options. he always makes the same stupid jokes that are just *goofy or purposefully obnoxious comment about what im doing* and i DONT have the energy to entertain that shit every day. but it RUINS his mood if you dont partake in his humor and then he just sulks. he cannot be serious. everything is jokey goofy fun time. when finn and i told him she’s trans & that we broke up his response was just to stare at us like a deer in headlights and go “oh. okay. sorry thats just a lot to process” which is like. just such a perfect prime example of how he cannot handle anything serious or heavy. when he got cheated on he was inconsolable and would not leave finn and i alone (and we wanted to help!!! we care about him!!!) he literally would follow us to our room and we would have to ask him for alone time!!!! he’s like a baby!!!! he’s so deadset on finding a new partner and i just wanna scream in his face NO RELATIONSHIP YOURE IN WILL EVER WORK IUT UNTIL YOU WORK ON YOURSELF AND UNPACK YOUR TRAUMA!!!!!!

he always uses money as an excuse like “ohhh i cant afford it” motherfucker. you can’t afford anything that isnt something you want. so you cant afford to pay me bills on time but you can afford a new monitor for cyber monday? you can’t afford therapy but you can afford to get a shitty fake christmas tree because THATS what’s important to you? he lives so fucking hedonistically and acts like he lives paycheck to paycheck when he makes 22 DOLLARS AN HOUR. MOTHERFUCKER YOU MAKE MORE THAN ME. YOU CAN FUCKING AFFORD IT YOU JUST DONT BUDGET OR SAVE AT ALL.

ok sorry i had to get that shit out because im so frustrated with him. i had a party the other night and he just sulked around until his friends came, hung out with them and only them the whole time, then continued to sulk and complain once they left. then sat around scrolling on his phone while my friends helped me clean everything up. my friends who actually are responsible and arent just in their own world with no consideration for others.

its not like he’s a bad person or even a bad friend because he truly isn’t. he’s just so emotionally immature and does not have the strength to look inward & realize that he is the source of most of his unhappiness in his life currently. its really hard to live around given the stage of my life im currently in.

i wish i could tell him all of this to be honest but hes so fucking sensitive. i HAVE tried to talk to him about a lot of these issues too (him needing to he asked to do chores, not paying me back etc) and its always the same thing. he gets better for a couple months but it quickly goes back to how it was before. im just like so done acting like his problems are mine. done asking him for favors. i hate that living with him has made me lose so much respect for him (he has no moral backbone) because like. i can see that he wants to be better. he just isnt strong enough to admit that hes the problem in his life right now. anyways. thanks for reading this if you did lol

[uwu-nyan-nyan]

how the fuck am I supposed to live like this. People keep telling me not to kill myself and I just dont get why anymore. "it will get better" or "xyz will miss you". It isnt getting better and it never will. People will not miss me. They will move on just like they did with Aurora or Faye. I'll just be seen as a tragedy for a month and forgotten about. I dont matter and never will. Im too much of a failure to even start getting my diagnosis. TBH im scared as its one of those mental health things if im right and not one therapist has helped me. Every fucking one has messed up my life in one way or another. I keep seeing all these happy trans ppl in my feed and it pisses me off that they get to be happy and transition and have loving partners. Every fucking day is misery for me. My partner the only person who I could fully trust is gone and in the hards of their shitty family now is gone. I dont even know if Aurora has been buried and the only person capable of helping me find out spends all day in bed doing jack shit due to depression. The crushing weight of my failures never goes away, not even for a second. I failed them and they paid the ultimate price because I was worried about bothering them, but clearly asking them to look at Tumblr wasnt bothering them to my corroded warped mind. Tomorrow ive got to go to some weird mental health bullshit and need to go to a clinic for a check up thing. I cant be bothered to even consider the idea of those asshats helping me anymore. I was tossed into a closed clinic and sealed in a room. No therapy at all. Just shut me in a room and hope the problem fixes itself. Got kicked out of therapy for snapping at my therapist for trying to make me find some bullshit little cards on how I feel about having been mentally tortured for 45 hours. Im a fucking person not some textbook case. Fuck mental health care. All they do is fuck up your life or make you so high off your ass you cant perceive reality.

[larnax]

ok im not strong enough. hater mode activate.

im only so angry about this because its the first time ive ever seen bottom surgery even mentioned in a fandom context and its to shit on it. im gpnna turn into the joker

easy to DIY" this is dumb for the same reason "DIY wheelchair ramps" are dumb. gcs and making hrt both take skill and knowledge the average person does not have. DIY hrt saves lives and is many peoples' only option i am not disagreeing with that but its not your buddy brent making it in his bathtub its someone who has the medical knowledge who just isnt operating in an official capacity. you cannot do it Yourself unless you want to end up injecting olive oil. this is even more true for surgery. do you think you could perform a DIY vaginectomy????? have at least a baseline respect for the people who developed gcs procedures and the people who perform them

"leaves scars" every non op trans person owes me $500USD. i am so fucking tired of people who never bothered to address their internalized ableism/transphobia about ew yuck icky scars making that my problem by loudly announcing how disgusted they are by an extremely normal part of the human experience. there is nothing wrong with having visible scarring and there is nothing wrong with surgical scarring and acting like there is provably makes people avoid procedures that would unambiguously improve their lives

"certain procedures can be risky" aw cmon bud we all know which procedures you mean! pretty please keep fearmongering about how risky bottom surgery is otherwise someone might decide to actually get a surgery which has an extremely normal success rate for surgeries. yes they make you sign a bunch of forms acknowledging the risk thats called Informed Consent and 90% of the complications are true for literally any surgery or literally any surgery on the urethra/genitals. bottom surgery is not some uniquely dangerous procedure

"implants and bottom surgery highly imperfect" every non op trans person owes me $1000USD. would you say this about any other aspect of transition? is there any fucking room in your head for the fact that postop trans people actually exist in real life and could possibly see you talking about how disgusting you find them? because im 1) real and 2) fucking your mother with my Imperfect Dick right now

"doesnt leave scars/looks completely natural" every non op trans person owes me $1500USD. this stupid fucking idea people have that The Natural Body is 1) even a thing and 2) something we should aspire to or protect is so wildly transphobic and ableist that it, too, turns me into the joker. would you say this to an amputee? to someone who had an organ transplant? because people do and its the same bullshit. the right to bodily autonomy includes the right to alter your body! i dont fucking care if i Look Natural(although its worth noting that most people cant actually tell fully healed phallo dicks and natal dicks apart. i went to a urologist and he only realized i was postop when i told him) and it should not be treated as an unambiguously good thing.

LIKE EVEN THE FUCKING DOCTOR IS NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE MEDICAL BOTTOM SURGERY. olberic had an "averse reaction to medicine" <- directly against canon where he can be healed fine WHOLESALE INVENTED just so that we minimize the amount of people who could theoretically have phalloplasty

also youre lying to yourself and more importantly me if you think ophilia has any medical knowledge whatsoever shes literally a faith healer who cant even deal with poison

like ok "a wizard did it" is better than literally not even acknowledging some trans people want to "switch their junk" like most people do or arguing that its ahistorical to have any medical transition, However this is just having that so you can present it as the better alternative to the inferior gross medical transition which . go fuck yourself!!! go fuck yourself.

again im mostly so mad about this because when i saw the words "bottom surgery" in a fandom thing i was really really excited because i never get to see even other fans who acknowledge that their favorite characters could be like me! i had a solid 5 seconds of just being ecstatic to be represented and then i actually read the damn thing and it was just more of the fucking same.