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It wasn't really stated when Eren developed feelings for Mikasa, honesty that confession scene with Armin felt forced.
And I always thought and saw Eren as being dense on romance in general. More interesting in fighting and killing than looking at girls
Yeah exactly. One of my main gripes with the shitty rushed finale is this out of nowhere love that Eren allegedly has for Mikasa.
Where did it come from? Where were the hints? How can you possibly tell me that he loved her romantically?
Don't get me wrong I don't think two characters have to aggressively blush at each other for 3 seasons straight before believing they like one another, but this plot twist is bullshit.
After the time skip Eren got more and more distant from his friends as a result of his future memories and the genocide he was destined to commit. He knew Armin and Mikasa wouldn't understand him, so he kept them at arm's length.
When it comes to Mikasa in particular, he showed a lot of irritation towards her, for how she constantly babied him throughout their lives.
I mean come on have you read chapter 112?
( I know he didn't mean it, but still, that's a pretty fucked up thing to say to a person you love.)
Trust is also one of the most important aspects of any relationship. And Eren never trusted Armin and Mikasa with pretty much anything post time skip, which is specifically why he pushed them away!
His love for her has always been platonic, so much so that in an interview from a few years ago Isayama said that their relationship was similar to that of a mother with her child.
But I guess Yams kinda forgot how Eremika worked for 130+ chapters uh?
That confession scene wasn't just forced, it was pathetic. It completely erased who Eren was as a character and replaced him with the cheapest copy on sale at Walmart.
(It's been three years and I'm still salty about that panel how is that possible?)
When it comes to Eren and the concept of romance, well.. Yeah pre time skip he was kinda dense, in the typical Shonen protagonist way, buut after the time jump you can clearly see that it's no longer the case from the convo with Falco in Liberio. Pre time skip Eren would have never reached that conclusion.
(Wow, it's almost as if he understands Falco's struggle of not wanting a girl he loves getting titanized, I wonder if it's supposed to mean anything, uhhh.)
#aot#eren jeager#falco grice#mikasa ackerman#armin arlert#attack on titan#manga#Aot critical#and before you start saying “oh but that scene in paths where Eren looked longingly at Mikasa as he wrapped the scarf-”#It doesn't have to be romantic by default#you can view it that way of course#but for me (pre 139 disaster)#it was Eren staring with guilt and nostalgia at an important moment of his life through which he met one of his closest friends#that is arguably the only debatable hint at Eremika#and i'll fight you on it#chapter 139
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Lackadaisy Enrichment
#in our enclosures!!#video linked as source; which i'm glad to see already has a million views and is trending. That's Right#lackadaisy#WHICH i have been reading since at least '07 when i was thirteen my god b/c this animation is based on the ongoing webcomic#like does its influence show up Directly in some Discrete way i can point to in my art? not very easily probably. And Yet.#the inspiration....i wasn't able to be Regularly Only for at least another year / art done Nonprofessionally Online was novel to me#like wow ppl can make & post fanart of w/e they love huh....didn't know webcomics were a thing & i never really read that many since but.#good god the quality of Lackadaisy at its onset is like this is superb?? this person putting in all their talent and effort???#and Then you get years & years more art and i don't even know what superlatives to throw out abt its quality as it evolves. obsessed w/it..#if i see a new lackadaisy comic page i Will be acting out. obviously this animation is a delight & also stunning. and fascinating to also#juxtapose as a Translation / Interpretation of the comic in a different medium & standalone snippet of Story#and that we're not even quite there in the comic timeline; Taking Notes abt character info we get distilledly here....genuinely love like#take it back to '07 i'm like oh boy can't wait for the dream team to assemble. then a decade later when it did? Oh Boy. that is payoff lol#namely hooray for stitches and mudbug at the field office for every passing gangster. killing one marigold associate but not the other#which seems like a promising start to shootouts w/the other dream team triumvirate. i adore that in canon so far mordecai freckle & rocky#have met but only over a nice brunch. re: all intentions anyways. anyways i'm like Gifs Must Be Made while i'm also so riled afresh abt the#comic that i've been sooo hype for for over fifteen yrs now babeyyy Deservedly. i've done a couple of rereads & ought to do another....#For Interest it'd probably take a few sittings to catch up from the start but there is much to be engaged over....this ongoing story that's#historical fiction prohibition bootlegging cats with plenty of focus on characters & several Mysteries. which i'm better at parsing now lol#like one of the more recent rereads like Oh Of Course x (probably) accidentally killed his y & z took the fall & that's a binding secret...#Not [oh of course] abt the circumstances surrounding a's death & how b & c were involved. nor the ''what's marigold's damage'' mystery#which is great. love to not know things. love that we can readily follow all the emergent drama everyone's wading in nowadays. hell yeah#anyways admire my organized approach to gifs here. four shots each Expressions Atmosphere Action Groupshots#sure might've muddled through gifmaking for this anyways but fr being a huge lackadaisy comic enjoyer for now most of my life helps#and its very Overall Inspiration like. just really getting the [you can really just draw stuff out here] going. fr the art's detail & skill#and that enrichment like i'm gonna have a great time following this. And I Have#you don't expect a crowdfunded indie animation in the mix back then but hell yeah fellas#SIGH ok removing a 4th gif that's broken / not displayed despite reuploading then entirely remaking it. if it's a bug i'll try again later
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i really do think the desire to paint ten as unambiguously The Worst™️ when it comes to his relationship with martha is out of this desire to uncomplicate their relationship. to decouple them as friends and people who profoundly impacted each other’s lives. it’s just an easier narrative to swallow: that ten was Awful to her and then martha kicked him to the curb when she realized she was too good for him. easier, maybe, then dealing with the troubles of unrequited affection don’t have to be anyone’s fault, or that ten shut martha out in a lot of ways but let her in in others that he wouldn’t let any other companion near, or that they were still friends, they still wanted to see each other and be around each other, even though it was messy and sometimes hurt. you know?
#sometimes the doctor is shitty. this is not news we know this. this is part of the package. its what makes their relationships with their#companions so interesting so important.#like. how do i put this. i see posts sometimes about how ten was ‘leading martha on’ implying that he was taking advantage of her feelings#to keep her around. and. okay. so. putting aside how that’s a weird thing to say about anyone period.#its also just. from my viewing experience. not true?#the doctor is just sort of Like That. he’s too intense he’s too quick to grasp for emotional intimacy he’s too messy.#but he’s not leading her on. he really is just Like That.#like i feel by getting caught up in the fact that martha is hurt by being compared to rose and is hurt by the fact that the doctor can’t or#won’t return her feelings. and like. yeah. of course that hurts.#but in being caught up in that. i think what im saying is that it feels like people sometimes forget that he’s. not required to do that.#like just because she has feelings for him doesn’t mean he needs to get over himself and return them or else he’s using her. that’s. that’s#not how relationships work. people can have romantic feelings and still be friends and not have anything come of it and that’s not a#terrible outcome. thats just how friendships are sometimes.#thats the core of it to me. they’re friends. the way people post about ten & martha sometimes i wonder if everyone’s forgotten that they#are friends. that they last parted as friends. that martha doesn’t hate him or secretely resent him for how he treated her.#like. she’s got complicated feelings about the whole thing. but they didn’t stop being friends.#i tell you what: if the doctor was in trouble and called for help. you could be damn certain that martha jones would be one of the first#people to answer. that’s what i know.#doctor who#the doctor#tenth doctor#martha jones
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I am so looking forward to SotR basically being a Pyrrhic Victory Narrative.
#with Haymitch now being the confirmed protagonist#of course this is just one interpretation/possible way of viewing the story#BUT it’s so fitting#you could argue a lot of the series can fit into this concept#such is war in general but within THG universe#sunrise on the reaping#haymitch abernathy#he literally loses everything and is condemned to a life of misery#he wins the games but at what cost?#I am still choosing to view SotR with excitement (at least rn…it fluctuates often)#and I really am trying to look forward to the expansion of Haymitch’s story#AND THIS!! this right here#pyrrhic victory ftw#pyrrhic victory#sotr#thg
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the Identity lacking knowledge of its identity
[fun alt repeating thing above & neat alt versions below]
#“understand whats going on behind my eyes” but different kinda#this is kinda shitty on purpose ?? kinda#idk im slapping soul with my own crisis he can deal with it/silly#bright lights#bright colors#i dont have a favorite guy™ but soul hits different yk#soul and its ideas of itself & his views on being whole need to be talked about more i swear#put that bitch under a microscope & study him cos lord knows he knows itself less than you would#also soul he/it my beloved. youre so close to being counted as canon in a way#chonny jash#chonnys charming chaos compendium#cj soul#-atlas art-#also if you cant tell [which you probably cant for all of it] the lyrics to Dream(OfC). NMtK & part of TSE are in there#also the necklace loose like the red noose from slys art#fun lil fact about my designs for HMSW:#Heart & Mind each have one of the drumsticks from the necklace. Both on opposites hands as a bracelet#gives a more them being halves vibes to me#soul has the left over chain that looks normal turning like as i said before over the course of Cacophony#lack of the drumsticks gives him the “if im not the main part then what am i?” yk#im not the “point” of the necklace so what is my purpose if any or smth#if that makes sense#but of course you couldnt wear the drumsticks as a necklace WITHOUT the necklace. a happier realization toward the end of Cacophony#And Whole has the whole thing together [ha whole]. “all good things come in threes” nd all#ty if you read all this btw & hi :D#ily/p
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I’ve been thinking about the oath of Fëanor and his sons. The oath is said to be cosmically binding, sure, but what does that mean? Does that mean it’s an impulse? That you feel driven to fulfill the oath? Or does it just mean that the consequences for failing are always looming, and there’s more room for free will? Is the threat of damning yourself the only driving force, or because of the cosmic nature of it does it compel you to complete it?
I think the way it’s left up in the air makes Maedhros that much more compelling - because he’s the most sympathetic out of Fëanor’s sons, he feels remorse and tries desperately to keep peace. But because of the oath he swore, he’s doomed to fight and kill for the silmarils. It’s hard to pin the title of villain on him because he’s sympathetic, he fights back against the worst of what his father has done, he’s a driving force against the Enemy and its evils. It’s definitely hard to pin the title of hero on him because of all the terrible deeds he’s done in the name of his father and the silmarils, the kinslaying, the kidnapping.
It’s clear he follows the oath no matter how much he does not want to. He follows it through and doing so kills him, because he cannot handle the weight of what he’d done, and it was never worth it. But was it his unwavering duty and honor to his word, along with the threat of what would happen if he broke the oath - or was there any cosmic drive to complete the oath due to its nature and the way it was sworn?
If it was always a matter of free will, would having refused the oath been something more honorable in the end? Or would that have doomed Beleriand even earlier than it was, without him there to fight against the Enemy?
#I feel like there’s that argument too of like. everyone knew the oath they vowed why wouldn’t they just give the silmarils up? and it’s lik#it’s meant to show how that inability to compromise was their downfall. and supposed to hammer in the fact of the danger of their oath and#the silmarils#of course they didn’t want to give up the power and novelty of the silmarils. they were cursed and the sons were cursed too#because they sword the oath their punishment was always going to be the follow through. they’re cursed to obtain the silmarils whatever the#cost. and the silmarils are cursed to those who touch it. those who get it will always want to keep it and the sons will always have to#fight for it#idk all this to say the way you view the oath can change maedhros from a sort of anti hero into a villain with redeeming qualities#something about the road to hell being paved with good intentions#lotr#lord of the rings#the silmarillion#silm#maedhros#z speaks
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wah i looove their designs and animation...
#sketched last night looped ''hot air balloon'' track last night rewatched elemental last night you know just how it is....i love it all augh#elemental#elemental 2023#pixar elemental#elemental fanart#ember lumen#wade ripple#it's so fun how just going w/the flow waviness drawing a wade is Correct. some flamey shiveriness / jaggedness in ember's lines is Correct#and it's all the more fun how it's like oh ofc not quite hitting the mark of how great their designs really are....so so good#and of course the expressive elasticity not only with their faces but the way their bodies ft. respective elements can be expressive#in addition to just usual [assume you have a usual literal human body] expressiveness options in posture / movement etc lol#also was thinking about how like we know everything we Need to know re: wade & his dad but also have so [zero details there]#which is interesting to wonder about. kinda assumed like oh a parent got sick & died but now considering how it could've been an accident..#the tiny layer of A Reaction he has when ember's talking abt parents giving up everything for you: could be nothing much; or Anything#also noting i Didn't note the first instances that they hear each other's names or introduce themselves thusly lol#or at least i sure can't recall it. just start knowing the other's name partway through which Isn't A Problem but it's like#ooh just more to consider & reexamine. i love to pick up More Details & that's helped by my difficulty in catching them in the first place#one thing about me i don't Catch things i don't Notice shit i don't Get stuff. and also of course: i do though lol#always a trip when it's like oh i love this movie i'm seeing it probably the two dozenth time#and then i notice something for the very first time that was clearly straightup meant to be Gotten upon the immediate viewing#even to the extent that smthing later seems to be kinda happening out of nowhere if you didn't. & i'd just rolled with it#like ok i'm autistic ofc that's something i gotta do all the time. & the adhd means i might keep getting distracted around the same pts.
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eiffel's problem is that he sees every injustice as an interpersonal issue. he doesn't understand how his flippancy or apparent leniency towards hilbert might look to hera; in his mind, it doesn't contradict his support for her. to eiffel, it seems obvious - he is also one of hilbert's victims, hera is his friend, of course he's completely on her side - but he fails to fully grasp how the stakes are different for her.
ep 19: "you need to stop treating this like a joke, officer eiffel." / "hey, i'm the person for whom the joke tolls." / "i get you're scared he put something inside you. but i hope you haven't forgotten emergency code alpha victor. he put that in me." and ep 51: "they're just jokes! they don't really mean anything." / "see, eiffel, you get to have that. they can be 'just jokes' for you because you're... well, you. but we don't get that."
the issue in shut up and listen is eiffel's repeated, if unintentional, microaggressions, but it's also his general use of dark humor as a coping mechanism - jokes he feels justified in making because of how the subjects of those jokes have impacted him. eiffel sincerely believes in treating people equally, but his idea of 'equal treatment' can be idealistic and naive. he has an awareness of interpersonal harm, but he's lived most of his life without ever being confronted with the reality of structural harm - being pre-judged and othered and having his life devalued on the basis of outside categorization.
but the thing about that is that it has happened to him, too. eiffel is an addict, and a convict, and marked as from a lower socioeconomic class than minkowski or lovelace, and those things are the reasons goddard futuristics was able to buy him as prison labor and - without his consent - consider him expendable for medical experimentation. none of that is a coincidence, but he doesn't see the systems at work, only his own actions and regrets. which he then equivocates to the worst actions of people who don't share his sense of morality or guilt.
eiffel's ability to recognize and bring out the humanity in the people around him is one of his best qualities, but... on the basis of his identity, he's been able to live a life where he conceptualizes himself as the default person, and that's been reinforced by the pop culture he loves so much. that's a massive blind spot. he assumes everyone navigates the world in a similar way, and so, on some level, he sees everyone around him as an extension of or a reflection of himself. if evil is always personal, then it can always be reasoned with.
#wolf 359#w359#doug eiffel#like. his answer for 'what is your worst quality?'#is a very tongue in cheek job interview answer: 'i empathize too much with others.' but from a certain angle...#i just think it's interesting. he has such believable faults and biases and assumptions about the world.#and the other thing is. eiffel's values are the show's values!! in some way he is also correct!!#but it's the line between diplomacy and centrism.#and the understanding that inaction is still an action that can hurt people. and that there's often not a right answer.#eiffel values the right things as far as the show is concerned#and as far as i'm concerned#but he lacks necessary perspective to really enact those values. decentering himself enough to really listen#while still keeping that personal focus.#i love that line where he says he's going to 'keep debugging his code' because it's so deferential like#'sorry for talking about you like this' and also 'i'm trying to see myself through your eyes.' means a lot to me.#and of course. the dear listeners literally reflecting eiffel while viewing him as the representative of humanity. there's something there#especially with the way eiffel externalizes both his good and bad qualities and projects them onto others#really good show. really good character writing. you know.
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every art critic, teacher or tutorial maker who tells you that your character designs must be conventionally attractive or appealing is a big fat liar
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#duskull#lest we forget that duskull only has one eye that just goes in the middle of their face and they move it around to get a view#so of course when ffp'd they're gonna look like a gyroid#gyroids scared me so much as a kid. not like the concept of them but remember in the original animal crossing when you didn't save#and resetti came out to yell at you or whatever. he would turn you into a gyroid#yeah. THAT scared me to DEATH. the way that it looked. every time it happened. but i was always kinda like… okay. if you can note down the#fact that i did not save. then that means you knew i played the game. and you knew i did it without saving. so why. did you not just#autosave for me. obvi animal crossing has autosave now and it's nice but it kinda puts resetti out of a job. except for like. rescues i gues#wow… resetti joined a rescue team… he's gonna save the world….#this is irrelevant. duskull! the guy who runs the bank in treasure town. trust *this* guy with your hard-earned money from that dungeon#in fairness to him he usually does take pretty good care of it. although him being an unevolved form of dusknoir made me not really trust#him very much when i first played pmdeos. aaaaanywaaaaayyy
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you know that episode really fucked me up this morning
#jo in the tardis*#i would talk about franco mari but i can't.#in many ways lila is the middle ground between franco and pasquale.#i would elaborate but it feels too personal and unsettling to me#lila is both the disillusioned revolutionary and a slave to her ideals and ancestry#i love elena and lila... every other character exists as a single political movement and they can never pick one to identify with entirely#BALKANGIRLCORE. SORRY.#also enzo is interesting in this regard because while he does nurture the same ideals and pasquale essentially#he will always pick a specific person over these convictions. and i think both of his parents dying earlier than most of the others#is an underlying reflection of that in some sense. like he has the ability to see beyond preconditions of heritage#which is why being arrested on the assumption based on generational and historical cycles is so tragic for him#this trait he has is exactly why lila is able to come close to fulfilling her childhood dream of changing things with him specifically#and that is also why she cares about him. because she cares about people who exist in contradiction to her understanding of reality#and people who will potentially help her bring that reality closer to the contradiction#lila is an idealist and she loves people who make an argument that she can be one and exist in this world#this is prompted by franco's death sorry. nobody offered that argument to him.#lila isn't disillusioned consistently not only because it's against her nature but also because she finds#reasons not to be. largely inspired by other people even if she reads them incorrectly (nino)#although i do think nino is more compelling if you view his boyish notions as somewhat honest#the desire not to be his father and all that. it makes him even more evil in the aftermath#i think lila sensed an ounce of that innocence in him and made an excuse for her own with it#she thought they were young in the same way. and of course that was her lifeline as a girl married at 17#this is so inconsistent sorry sorry sorry... not projecting at all#lila cerullo 🫀#l'amica geniale#ferranteposting
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yeeeaaaah, the minute I saw that tiktok was referring to sigma as “she/her” I knew it was going to be full of takes based on a bastardization of canon. like no shade or disrespect to anyone who does use those pronouns for sigma, i don’t get why but that’s not my business, but the facts are that if you’re dealing explicitly and unbiasedly with what actually is canon, which this tiktok pretends it is, then the facts are that that’s just not canon. acting like it is, tells me that this person has their own idea of what canon is and it’s not an accurate picture
Headcanons are all well and good, I am fully for any and all pronouns for Sigma honestly, but like you said, that user is merging their headcanons with canon, they are not stepping back to view Sigma without the lens they have imposed on him. And we see that their interpretation is suffering because of this.
BSD is something that has to be viewed without bias sometimes, because if you ignore the characters you hate or dismiss relationships because you prefer other ones, you are not going to get the full picture.
Some examples of this is that the BSD fandom hates Mori so much, which comes from a fair place of disgust at his actions, but it's to the point that they ignore him entirely, and refuse to acknowledge his existence, which is a terrible decision given that he is one of the smartest, most powerful (in terms of status) and knowledgeable character in BSD.
Another example is that some Soukoku shippers will prioritise Dazai and Chuuya's relationships with one another over other's that are just as important, such as Chuuya and the Flags, or Dazai and Odasaku, which leads to an interpretation of them that makes them seem codependent and isolated from others. Even the inverse happens, where Soukoku antis will refuse to admit that Dazai and Chuuya have a canon, platonic partnership based on trust and years of working together, a bond that is deeply important for both of their characters.
I've found I enjoy BSD more when I look at it from an unbiased lens. Of course you can have favourites and characters you hate, god knows I do (Ace you slimy motherfucker, I'm coming for you and your hairline), but you should allow yourself to explore the entire world, investigate the characters you dislike; you might find yourself liking what's below the surface, acknowledge the relationships that aren't romantic but are still important. Look at the entirety of BSD, because Asagiri is frankly a genius, and his worldbuilding and character development are some of the best and most beautifully crafted examples I've ever seen.
-T
#this turned into a rant#but thank you anon for your ask!#it brought up a really important point#which is that headcanons and bias can really impact how you analyse and view media#especially in BSD!#this is not to discourage headcanons#but to remind people to examine canon for what it truly is#of course each reader colours canon the way they want#and that's the beauty of literature#but you can't claim your own interpretation as fact#bsd#i love nakahara chuuya#chuuya nakahara#bsd chuuya#bungou stray dogs#chuuya fan page#bungou stray dogs chuuya#chuuya bsd#skk#soukoku#dazai bsd#dazai#bsd dazai#dazai osamu#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazai x chuuya#bungo stray dogs#nakahara chuuya#mori ougai#bsd mori
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My brain is so full of Bees about Post-Shift 2.
It's a fan game that was delayed for 4 years -- by the time it released, fnaf fangames as a whole were not as popular as they had been, & most people in the scene had forgotten about Post-Shift 1, so not a lot of people heard about it/played it.
Worse still is the people who did talk about the game. Pretty unanimously, the consensus was this: this game is the craziest, most insane fnaf fangame. It's overly difficult with mechanics that have no rhyme or reason to them & tutorials that are wordy, unhelpful, & sometimes actively mislead the player, meaning you need to comb through a lot of text only to be misinformed. It's not as infamous as some other fangames, but it definitely was talked about very poorly.
In general, I think most of these criticisms were blown up out of proportion, but I can't really disagree with most people's problems -- it is difficult & wordy, & rather hard to understand. I think, however, that the game is still 1. Really fun, 2. Not a bad game at all, &, most importantly, 3. Is a free fucking game that was clearly a passion project. Most damn fangames never get off the fucking ground when made in groups because the creators will never make a red cent off the thing -- this game was made by one dude for 4 years & delivered to people for free. It didn't ask anything of you except to accept it as a difficult game & to not go in with wild expectations. The dev just wanted to make a game that was rough, but he also wanted to make a game that felt unique & was fun. & It is fun, too, is the damn thing.
#em.txt#ps2 post#post-shift 2#i obviously am biased#i also obviously have more to say#but for now i think this is a start. i think this is fine so far.#i got counter arguments i was gonna type about the problems#bc tbh i think the difficulty isn't as big a problem as the difficult curve -- it starts very high for a fangame#bc it assumed you know what they're like. you know how fangames work. but it over assumes that all the mechanics#work at the same frequency as other fangame#the difficulty curve of night 1 is pretty tough place to start which turned a lot of people off#especially with how long & unclear th tutorials are & of course night 1's tutorial starting with a character that is unused in that night#it's rough. night 2 is even tougher. but night 3 is a cakewalk once you beat 2 bc it only adds 2 threats#so you might expect the next night to be as easy or even easier & in my eyes yeah -- night 4 is easier than 1 even#except that it's completely different & is asking the player to learn a new game entirely which is its own difficulty#but i can crank out a night 4 easy peasy no prolem. so you might expect night 5 to be even easier right? WRONG#WRONG WRONG WRRRONNNGG even people who know what they are doing struggle#because a mechanic in the game actively increases the difficulty as the difficulty is increased which is EVIL#& night 6 is even harder i have seen 3 people beat night 6 it is absurd#i sat in a call with another PS2 fan who clearly played thr game s lot & loved it but they could not beat the night normally#& this night has fucking optional difficulty modifiers when you finish that make it harder it is hell on earth#there is no checkpoints it is bad it is so bad I haven't beaten it i talk abt this game every day i play all the nights#i do not fucking play this night bc the way the tutorial works is unreal & unhelpful it wants you to remember#all this shit but it removes the 'walk around & click things before the night starts to see how they work/where they are'#& then it changes every 2 hours to something new so you won 12-2 but you hit 2 & forgot this one person's mechanic#but the only way to read the tutorial again is to close the game bc it automatically puts you back into the night#& will not take you to the home screen to view the booklet for night 6 it's insane#so yeah. there is difficulty. but the difficulty curve being this inconsistent is worse tbh#i get night 6 is meant to be like a 'everyone is here!' bossfight but it's overwhelming & there is too damn much
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and oh my god yeah. atsv miles anxiety was bad but 1048 miles anxiety? you will need power tools in that therapy session. ever since his dad was killed and phin sacrificed herself, he hates it when he has to be away from his mom. or just anybody he really cares about. and he hates them “going out of their way” to do things for him because what if suddenly it’s too dangerous and they die or get so hurt their life will never be the same again. he doesn’t wanna be spider-man at times because that’s more time away from his loved ones, and who knows when he’ll see them again (it’s been 10 minutes) ?? he wants to shrink everyone he loves and put them in his pocket and carry them around with him, and he never wants to waste time taking care of himself because what if someone else dies and he’s not there to stop it. and he knows he’s being unhealthy about all this, realistically knows his family and friends aren’t in danger as much as he feels. but he doesn’t know what else to do, and none of the advice Peter gives him sounds useful to his anxiety-ridden mind. That battle with Mr. Negative in Kraven’s illegal dog fighting ring could’ve been way more terrifying and anxiety attack inducing for the player if they let me in the studio (but i guess that’s why they threw me out)
#also like if you view it through the lens of miles having extreme anxiety. you can see him watching Negative about to drown as him making +#sure that nigga dies not in a revenge way but a ‘i need to be sure he dies or i’m never sleeping again’ anxious way. triple checking if he+#turned the stove off and having to hype himself up to ask for sauce type of anxious.#course the revenge aspect is very much still there! but the anxiety gives it more depth in my opinion#miles morales#spiderman#spider man#m&m posts
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Bad time of it, all things considered (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Blood#Just a bit but y'know - Enough#It honestly made me So sad that it took until his canonmates saw it happen that someone /finally/ acknowledged his spontaneous cuts D:#Like I get it it's dark and it's hard to see but his skin just opened up and he made a noise about it! The possible danger!!#And then by that point he's just so used to everyone ignoring it that their concern for him is barely even a factor weh ZEX ;;#Plus it's just a cool effect haha - sudden blood from nothing! Very rich mental movement#At least Max had someone concerned for him about it <3 Not that he could do anything about it but even just the validation of seeing it!#He has enough cuts on him :( Poor tenderized flesh#He gets all crabby from being sore from healing constantly haha :'D Of course he would!#One thing I found very interesting was the scar sidedness :0 Most of the examples in the gallery have his scar and missing eye opposite#But that's not necessarily the case! I actually scoured mid-read and there /are/ a couple instances of matching side!#They're very tiny so I overlooked them upon first viewing hehe ♪ But they're there! It's very interesting to me!#I like the aesthetics of the opposite - probably because I'm more used to it lol - but I can see the appeal and reasoning for the other way#I do honestly enjoy how much is open to interpretation and allowance uwu♪ And what's consistent! Like how it's always his right eye :D#That tracks hehe ♫#Haha his meeting with his delightfully inept counselor - I'm pretty sure I was actually more angry about his supposed injury than he was#He chilled out pretty quickly while I was just - A Scratched Cornea??? The disrespect!!#So happy with his eyebrow expression on that one as well ah <3#It really does make me curious for how the staff is kept there - they don't /seem/ malicious during the day! But they're also unaware#It's interesting where the lines of reality are between everyone :D Very interesting ♪#Capping off with another song my playlist is looking quite healthy now hehe#Flagpole Sitta is one of those songs that only comes up for me every half dozen years or so but when it Does - phewph#It is /such/ a ZEX song to me now hehe <3 The flirtiness and exasperation - the defeatism even! So many killer lines#I think my favourite is ''I'm not sick but I'm not well'' ask me to read into that I will I'm gonna I'll do it even if you don't ask me lol#So fun to draw those lapses in control the poor dear ♥#The digital reconstruction there was a lot of fun as well actually :D I think I nailed it :3 Pulled around from all over the page! Pleased ♪
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See, the thing about the Amy episode that makes Dean’s actions so reprehensible is not only the part where he doesn’t trust Sam and goes behind his back to kill Amy or even the hypocrisy of Dean ‘you can’t change what you are so you’re going to kill someone eventually’ Winchester sparing the kid right after stabbing his mom, it’s that Amy is very explicitly supposed to be a Sam parallel. There is no other way about it, from the they’re both freaks part of it to Dean dropping the line about ‘the other shoe’ right before he kills her, she is Sam, how Dean reacts to her is supposed to give us insight into how he feels about Sam. And Dean. kills her.
The not very subtle subtext being that Dean is ready to off Sam if he goes too far off the deep end? He’s aggressive and mistrustful of Sam at every turn in the episode, lays the feet of it all at Sam’s hallucinations maybe leading him astray, but end of the day, Sam’s crimes here are A) was tortured in Hell and B) is traumatized by that in a way that makes Dean’s life more difficult.
And it is hard to watch. To spend this whole episode with Sam being completely functional on his own, making a rational decision based on past experience and on all the information about Amy he has available, and for the episode to end with, ‘but yeah, if dean thinks sam goes too far, he’s probably gonna kill him. because sam can’t change or be fixed, so it’s for the good of everyone that he be put down.’
#and then of course there’s the issue of the subtext setting something up that gets no resolution like. there is no point where dean is ever#really going to be able to kill Sam. no matter how bad his hallucinations get. not even a mercy kill crosses his mind later that season#which means that the Amy episode gets rewritten later from ‘explicit Sam parallel’ to ‘well we can use this for Brother Drama™️’#god. god. and really what gets me about the Amy episode in general. like Thee Horrifying Part to me.#most of their hunts are very life or death. that’s how we get around the morality of it. either they kill the monster or it kills them.#Amy’s. not that. Dean tracks her down while she’s running and kills her while she’s asking him not to.#like if she had attacked him the scene would be totally different. but she doesn’t. she doesn’t even fight back. and he kills her.#like she has a kid and Dean is an unfriendly hunter in her motel room. it wouldn’t be out of the question for her to try to kill him#to protect herself and her kid. but she doesn’t. she doesn’t. I don’t know what you can take away from that except that she was telling#sam the truth about not wanting to be a murderer. if she won’t even try to kill Dean to protect herself.#there is no way to look at this episode that makes Dean come out looking good unless you’re willing to claim everything Amy said was a lie#AND that Dean would be right to kill Sam for *checks notes* Being Visibly Mentally Ill#fucked up. why’d they do this.#spn#dean winchester#sam winchester#amy pond#like to be clear if you’ve got a different view on this that’s. not the above thing I just said. please tell me.#because from where I’m standing Dean doesn’t come out of this clean in any way
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