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colleendoran · 1 year ago

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Great Big Good Omens Graphic Novel Update

AKA A Visit From Bildad the Shuhite.

The past year or so has been one long visit from this guy, whereupon he smiteth my goats and burneth my crops, woe unto the woeful cartoonist.

Gaze upon the horror of Bildad the Shuhite.

You kind of have to be a Good Omens fan to get this joke, but trust me, it's hilarious.

Anyway, as a long time Good Omens novel fan, you may imagine how thrilled I was to get picked to adapt the graphic novel.

Go me!

This is quite a task, I have to say, especially since I was originally going to just draw (and color) it, but I ended up writing the adaptation as well. Tricky to fit a 400 page novel into a 160-ish page graphic novel, especially when so much of the humor is dependent on the language, and not necessarily on the visuals.

Not complainin', just sayin'.

Anyway, I started out the gate like a herd of turtles, because right away I got COVID which knocked me on my butt.

And COVID brain fog? That's a thing. I already struggle with brain fog due to autoimmune disease, and COVID made it worse.

Not complainin' just sayin'.

This set a few of the assignments on my plate back, which pushed starting Good Omens back.

But hey, big fat lead time! No worries!

Then my computer crawled toward the grave.

My trusty MAC Pro Tower was nearly 15 years old when its sturdy heart ground to a near-halt with daily crashes. I finally got around to doing some diagnostics; some of its little brain actions were at 5% functionality. I had no reliable backups.

There are so many issues with getting a new computer when you haven't had a new computer or peripherals in nearly fifteen years and all of your software, including your Photoshop program is fifteen years old.

At the time, I was still on rural internet...which means dial-up speed.

Whatever you have for internet in the city, roll that clock back to about 2001.

That's what I had. I not only had to replace almost all of my hardware but I had to load and update all programs at dial-up speed.

Welcome to my gigabyte hell.

The entire process of replacing the equipment and programs took weeks and then I had to relearn all the software.

All of this was super expensive in terms of money and time cost.

But I was not daunted! Nosirree!

I still had a huge lead time! I can do anything! I have an iron will!

And boy, howdy, I was going to need it.

At about the same time, a big fatcat quadrillionaire client who had hired me years ago to develop a big, major transmedia project for which I was paid almost entirely in stock, went bankrupt leaving everyone holding the bag, and taking a huge chunk of my future retirement fund with it.

I wrote a very snarky almost hilarious Patreon post about it, but am not entirely in a position to speak freely because I don't want to get sued. Even though I had to go to court over it, (and I had to do that over Zoom at dial-up speed,) I'm pretty sure I'll never get anything out of this drama, and neither will anyone else involved, except millionaire dude and his buddies who all walked away with huge multi-million dollar bonuses weeks before they declared bankruptcy, all the while claiming they would not declare bankruptcy.

Even the accountant got $250,000 a month to shut down the business, while creators got nothing.

That in itself was enough drama for the year, but we were only at February by that point, and with all those months left, 2023 had a lot more to throw at me.

Fresh from my return from my Society of Illustrators show, and a lovely time at MOCCA, it was time to face practical medical issues, health updates, screening, and the like. I did my adult duty and then went back to work hoping for no news, but still had a weird feeling there would be news.

I know everyone says that, but I mean it. I had a bad feeling.

Then there was news.

I was called back for tests and more tests. This took weeks. The ubiquitous biopsy looked, even to me staring at the screen in real time, like bad news.

It also hurt like a mofo after the anesthesia wore off. I wasn't expecting that.

Then I got the official bad news.

Cancer which runs in my family finally got me. Frankly, I was surprised I didn't get it sooner.

Stage 0, and treatment would likely be fast and complication-free. Face the peril, get it over with, and get back to work.

I requested surgery months in the future so I could finish Good Omens first, but my doc convinced me the risk of waiting was too great. Get it done now.

"You're really healthy," my doc said. Despite an auto-immune issue which plagues me, I am way healthier than the average schmoe of late middle age. She informed me I would not even need any chemo or radiation if I took care of this now.

So I canceled my appearance at San Diego Comic Con. I did not inform the Good Omens team of my issues right away, thinking this would not interfere with my work schedule, but I did contact my agent to inform her of the issue. I also contacted a lawyer to rewrite my will and make sure the team had access to my digital files in case there were complications.

Then I got back to work, and hoped for the best.

Eff this guy.

Before I could even plant my carcass on the surgery table, I got a massive case of ocular shingles.

I didn't even know there was such a thing.

There I was, minding my own business. I go to bed one night with a scratchy eye, and by 4 PM the next day, I was in the emergency room being told if I didn't get immediate specialist treatment, I was in big trouble.

I got transferred to another hospital and got all the scary details, with the extra horrid news that I could not possibly have cancer surgery until I was free of shingles, and if I did not follow a rather brutal treatment procedure - which meant super-painful eye drops every half hour, twenty-four hours a day and daily hospital treatment - I could lose the eye entirely, or be blinded, or best case scenario, get permanent eye damage.

What was even funnier (yeah, hilarity) is the drops are so toxic if you don't use the medication just right, you can go blind anyway.

Hi Ho.

Ulcer is on the right. That big green blob.

I had just finished telling my cancer surgeon I did not even really care about getting cancer, was happy it was just stage zero, had no issues with scarring, wanted no reconstruction, all I cared about was my work.

Just cut it out and get me back to work.

And now I wondered if I was going to lose my ability to work anyway.

Shingles often accompanies cancer because of the stress on the immune system, and yeah, it's not pretty. This is me looking like all heck after I started to get better.

The first couple of weeks were pretty demoralizing as I expected a straight trajectory to wellness. But it was up and down all the way.

Some days I could not see out of either eye at all. The swelling was so bad that I had to reach around to my good eye to prop the lid open. Light sensitivity made seeing out of either eye almost impossible. Outdoors, even with sunglasses, I had to be led around by the hand.

I had an amazing doctor. I meticulously followed his instructions, and I think he was surprised I did. The treatment is really difficult, and if you don't do it just right no matter how painful it gets, you will be sorry.

To my amazement, after about a month, my doctor informed me I had no vision loss in the eye at all. "This never happens," he said.

I'd spent a couple of weeks there trying to learn to draw in the near-dark with one eye, and in the end, I got all my sight back.

I could no longer wear contact lenses (I don't really wear them anyway, unless I'm going to the movies,) would need hard core sun protection for awhile, and the neuralgia and sun sensitivity were likely to linger. But I could get back to work.

I have never been more grateful in my life.

Neuralgia sucks, by the way, I'm still dealing with it months later.

Anyway, I decided to finally go ahead and tell the Good Omens team what was going on, especially since this was all happening around the time the Kickstarter was gearing up.

Now that I was sure I'd passed the eye peril, and my surgery for Stage 0 was going to be no big deal, I figured all was a go. I was still pretty uncomfortable and weak, and my ideal deadline was blown, but with the book not coming out for more than a year, all would be OK. I quit a bunch of jobs I had lined up to start after Good Omens, since the project was going to run far longer than I'd planned.

Everybody on the team was super-nice, and I was pretty optimistic at this time. But work was going pretty slow during, as you may imagine.

But again...lots of lead time still left, go me.

Then I finally got my surgery.

Which was not as happy an experience as I had been hoping for.

My family said the doc came out of the operating room looking like she'd been pulled backwards through a pipe, She informed them the tumor which looked tiny on the scan was "...huge and her insides are a mess."

Which was super not fun news.

Eff this guy.

The tumor was hiding behind some dense tissue and cysts. After more tests, it was determined I'd need another surgery and was going to have to get further treatments after all.

The biopsy had been really painful, but the discomfort was gone after about a week, so no biggee. The second surgery was, weirdly, not as painful as the biopsy, but the fatigue was big time.

By then, the Good Omens Kickstarter had about run its course, and the record-breaker was both gratifying and a source of immense social pressure.

I'd already turned most of my social media over to an assistant, and I'm glad I did.

But the next surgery was what really kicked me on my keister.

All in all, they took out an area the size of a baseball. It was hard to move and wiped me out for weeks and weeks. I could not take care of myself. I'd begun losing hair by this time anyway, and finally just lopped it off since it was too heavy for me to care for myself. The cut hides the bald spots pretty well.

After about a month, I got the go-ahead to travel to my show at the San Diego Comic Con Museum (which is running until the first week of April, BTW). I was very happy I had enough energy to do it. But as soon as I got back, I had to return to treatment.

Since I live way out in the country, going into the city to various hospitals and pharmacies was a real challenge. I made more than 100 trips last year, and a drive to the compounding pharmacy which produced the specialist eye medicine I could not get anywhere else was six hours alone.

Naturally, I wasn't getting anything done during this time.

But at least my main hospital is super swank.

The oncology treatment went smoothly, until it didn't. The feels don't hit you until the end. By then I was flattened.

So flattened that I was too weak to control myself, fell over, and smashed my face into some equipment.

Nearly tore off my damn nostril.

Eff this guy.

Anyway, it was a bad year.

Here's what went right.

I have a good health insurance policy. The final tally on my health care costs ended up being about $150,000. I paid about 18% of that, including insurance. I had a high deductible and some experimental medicine insurance didn't cover. I had savings, enough to cover the months I wasn't working, and my Patreon is also very supportive. So you didn't see me running a Gofundme or anything.

Thanks to everyone who ever bought one of my books.

No, none of that money was Good Omens Kickstarter money. I won't get most of my pay on that for months, which is just as well because it kept my taxes lower last year when I needed a break.

So, yay.

My nose is nearly healed. I opted out of plastic surgery, and it just sealed up by itself. I'll never be ready for my closeup, but who the hell cares.

I got to ring the bell.

I had a very, VERY hard time getting back to work, especially with regard to focus and concentration. My work hours dropped by over 2/3. I was so fractured and weak, time kept slipping away while I sat in the studio like a zombie. Most of the last six months were a wash.

I assumed focus issues were due (in part) to stress, so sought counseling. This seemed like a good idea at first, but when the counselor asked me to detail my issues with anxiety, I spent two weeks doing just that and getting way more anxious, which was not helpful.

After that I went EFF THIS NOISE, I want practical tools, not touchy feelies (no judgment on people who need touchy-feelies, I need a pragmatic solution and I need it now,) so tried using the body doubling focus group technique for concentration and deep work.

Within two weeks, I returned to normal work hours.

I got rural broadband, jumping me from dial up speed to 1 GB per second.

It's a miracle.

Massive doses of Vitamin D3 and K2. Yay.

The new computer works great.

The Kickstarter did so well, we got to expand the graphic novel to 200 pages. Double yay.

I'm running late, but everyone on the Good Omens team is super supportive. I don't know if I am going to make the book late or not, but if I do, well, it surely wasn't on purpose, and it won't be super late anyway. I still have months of lead time left.

I used to be something of a social media addict, but now I hardly ever even look at it, haven't been directly on some sites in over a year, and no longer miss it. It used to seem important and now doesn't.

More time for real life.

While I think the last year aged me about twenty years, I actually like me better with short hair. I'm keeping it.

OK. Rough year.

Not complainin', just sayin'.

Back to work on The Book.

And only a day left to vote for Good Omens, Neil Gaiman, and Sandman in the Comicscene Awards. Thanks.

#good omens graphic novel #good omens #terry pratchett #neil gaiman #dunmanifestin

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wheeloffortune-design · 3 days ago

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GUYS. MEN. BOYS.

and other people that have awful dating website pictures and profiles.

Please, make an effort. Girls don't swipe left because they're superficial and wouldn't understand you. They swipe left because your profile is either uninspiring or you look like a serial killer.

Just. Make an effort.

YOUR PICTURE.

Please learn how to take a selfie. This is the right selfie angle:

Up, and a little bit to the side. You want a nice 3/4 view from above, it hides the double chin, gives your face definition and depth, and looks way better than just a front picture. Learn how to take selfies like a girl, we look amazing in them.

Don't take it from too close, you need to stretch that arm. You need to frame your full head, neck and shoulders.

The white light from the bathroom will highlight all your redness, your pimples, your face imperfections. You want a nice warm light with yellow tones, not white. Or maybe natural light, go stand next to a window.

The left picture is an immediate no. The right picture is a 'He seems nice, I'll read his profile.'

If you have one of these photos in your profile, sure, just don't make it the first one people will see.

The sunglasses-and-hat combo hides you. And we honestly don't care about the fish, no matter how huge it is.

YOUR LOOKS

Contrary to general belief, women don't systematically go for traditionally handsome guys. But they do go for well groomed ones. And it's not even that hard, the bar is in hell.

Clothes: wear something clean that fits you nicely. You can look presentable no matter your weight or musculature if you wear the right clothes.

Hair: If you have very thin and lifeless hair, and sometimes a receeding hairline, wearing it long and untied does not help you at all. It makes you look like RiffRaff from Rocky Horror.

A good haircut can frame your face, highlight your best features. There is no bad hair, only bad haircuts. And don't worry if you're greying or going bald, women don't judge your hair like that. But a bad haircut can make you look like a serial killer.

Also, please, no fedoras or trillbys. They're a red flag and also don't look good on anyone.

And trim that beard.

OTHER PICTURES

You don't need a lot. A good, first photo should be your face, well lit, smiling. You're not aiming for pretty, you're aiming for 'functional member of society'. You just need to look like a normal person.

For the others, try some photos doing the activities you like to do. Don't force the gym photo if it's not really your lifestyle, we're not that impressed anyway. But photos doing the things that you love, that's what will change a 'maybe' into a 'oooh I also like doing that!'. And don't worry about nerdy pictures, if the girls are nerds they will like it. I've swiped right many times when I see cosplay.

YOUR PROFILE

Now, a man is his own worst enemy. Women on dating websites are already open to try, but men so often shoot themselves in the foot.

Don't write something negative about women in general, relationships sucking, your ex, etc etc. If someone has reached your profile text, they don't want to read your bitching. They don't know you, they don't care.

You need to be polite, nice, approachable. Interesting. Tell what you like to do in life, and what you're looking for. It's not hard:

'Hi! I'm Mark, I'm back on this dating app, hoping this time will be the right one! I work a boring desk job, but what I really love is reading weird horror novels, playing retro games, and trying new recipes. I have two dogs, who rule my world. I'm open to new friendships, would like a steady relationship in the end.'

It's that simple.

Also: MAKE UP YOUR MIND ABOUT WANTING KIDS OR NOT.

If I see another profile of a guy who's 40 and still undecided, I will burn down a building. Women need to know if they want kids or not because we have a deadline. They're looking for this in a guy's profile. Wether you want kids or not, write it somewhere.

Don't explicitely talk about sex in your profile, it's creepy. We don't know you. Also, if you manage to chat with a woman, don't start asking questions about sex right away, that never works. You need to understand that we deal with so many creeps. Please don't be another one.

So, tl;dr:

You need to look and talk like a normal, functional human being, who has a job, and hobbies.

You don't need to be extremely handsome, you just need to not scare them away. Dating websites are so full of badly taken pictures and creeps, that seeing just a normal dude who likes dogs is a relief.

The bar is in hell. The effort required to rise above the creeps and weirdoes is minuscule. Go take a well-lit selfie.

#online dating

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waffledforbreakfast · 6 months ago

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First Date- [MUTI! BLLK X F!READER]

(SEPARATE) pt1

Staring: Rin, Shidou, Sae,

pt2: Niko, Kaiser, Ness,

pt3: Otoya, Karasu, Reo

[ BLLK Scenario Masterlist ]

TW: heavy ooc, bad grammar, bad spelling, bad formatting, cringe, scuff, etc.

>Rin

[Horror Movie in theaters]

Rin doesn’t see himself as someone who freaks out or panics a lot, he likes to think he’s pretty chill

And yet here he was, preparing for a date ,8 hours before the arranged time.

He pulled out a first outfit and stared at it, “I shouldn’t pick anything too fancy, it’s just a movie anyway…” he muttered to himself while pulling out more clothes

He finally had everything prepared, his fanny pack with all necessities, and his fit simple and practical

Now all he had to do was wait for the time… which was two hours from now

Rin ended up getting there 30 minutes before the arranged time…

“Hey Rin! Sorry if I’m a bit late…” you laughed awkwardly. You were not late, in fact, you were 5 minutes early. “Were you waiting for a long time?”

“No, not at all” he put his ear buds away and gave you his full attention “You ready to go?”

The two of you slowly made your way over to the theater, chit chatting about all kinds of things

“You wanna sneak some food in?” you grinned at him while pointing at a convenience store to your left

“That’s not legal is it….”

“...”

“Sure.”

You were in charge of grabbing snacks, and Rin grabbed drinks. He browsed the shelfs for a bit before grabbing four different kinds, including your favourite that you had mentioned on the walk

“Four?” you questioned the boy holding the bottles

“Yea. I got your favourite and some others.” he held them up to show you, as if it was perfectly normal

“Won’t that cost a lot…?” she stared at him, slightly concerned as he placed the items on the register, the total was going much above what you’d thought

“I’ll pay.” he insisted. And pay he did, you didn’t even had time to respond before he tapped his card on the reader

“The only problem” he started, gathering the items “Is sneaking them in…”

“Oh, I can do that” you offered with a smile, sifting through the objects “I’ve got experience”

Rin nodded before pulling out his phone to check the time. Once he had put his phone away, all foods and drinks were out of sight

You just smiled at him as he just stared at you with wide eyes, as if he’d just seen a magic trick “Where did…” he looked you up and down, trying to figure it out

“Experience.” you gave a smug nod

The two of you made your way over to the cinema, successfully passed through security, and sat down into your seats [for the sake of the plot, it’s a pair of chairs that aren’t separated, so there’s nothing between you two😏 ]

You pulled out the snacks from who knows where and handed some to him

“So, what are we watching?”

“The Shining” he answered shortly, opening a bag of popcorn, silently wondering where you hid that much food

As the movie started, the two of you shared the snack and watched carefully, few words exchanged at first

If you disliked the horror parts, he put an arm around you and hid your face into his neck. If it got really bad, he’d put his hands over your ears and smile at you to try and comfort you.

Or he’d just whisper to you over the movie “It’s alright, I’m here.”, “Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon”, etc. Wouldn’t make fun of you if you cried (the first time LOL), he’d just hug you tighter 🥹

If you were fine with gore, or even as far as being interested in it (how do yall do it-), he just stared at you in awe.

It’s not like he’s bad with it, he’s just shocked that someone else enjoys it too, silently running through a list of movies you two could watch together in the future.

Not too many words were exchanged during it, but you two had lots of fun nonetheless.

“Thank you for bringing me today!” you smiled at him, making your way outside

“No problem, thank you for joining me.” Rin nodded while disposing of the snack wrappers and bottles

“Let me walk you back to the train station, it’s dark out.” he grabbed your hand and intertwined your fingers with his before leading you through the night

“Thank you” you gave a bow as you reached the station “I had fun tonight”

“Yea, me too…” he said, slowly realizing how beautiful you looked in the moonlight. He hoped the darkness of the night hid his blush

You leaned in and gave him a quick kiss while slipping a button from you shirt into his hands, a common way of expressing love in Japan

He covered his red face with a hand, while looking at the floor in embarrassment

He took off his jacket just as you were about to leave and shoved it into your hands, “Don’t want you getting cold…” he barely mumbled, before preparing to leave

You gave him one last thanks before putting the jacket on as he left

As he walked home, he wasn’t actually that cold. Maybe it was because of the extra sweater he had underneath, maybe it was because he was hoping you’d ask for it and prepared earlier that day, maybe it was because his face was so hot from the interaction, who knows :x

He was smiling the whole walk home, and even took a wrong turn because he was so distracted, didn’t even put his earbuds back in because he was so focused on the memories of that day

Once he got home he texted you to make sure you did too

The two of you will 100% be going on another date, and this time, you’ll get to choose where ;) (just please don’t make him watch like, mlp… or do, that’d be pretty funny- )

>Shidou

[Arcade/just around the block]

How Shidou managed to convince you to go out with him? I have no clue.

This man was running around the house grabbing his things 5 minutes before you were supposed to meet up. It’d take 10 minutes to get there.

You were just scrolling as you waited for him, already 2 minutes late. You weren’t all that surprised, he was that typa guy after all. But you were surprised when he crashed into you, panting as he tried to catch his breath

“I’m- *wheeze* sorry that I’m- *wheeze* late-” he was hunched over with sweat dripping down his face

How fast did he run??? You thought to yourself while silently facepalming.

“Here” you said, pulling out a plastic water bottle and handing it to him “Take a second to catch your breath”

“Thank you- my goddess” he said, before chugging the whole bottle. Shidou finally gained his composure “You know, that was technically an indirect kiss” he teased while giving you back the bottle.

You threw it out.

He pouted for a second before following you down the street, “Sooo, where do ya wanna go first?”

“You don’t have anything planned?” you questioned him

“Nooo…. Was I supposed to-??” he didn’t realize he actually had to do anything-

“Well- you were the one who asked me out…” you mumbled more to yourself than him, “Nevermind, there’s a big arcade around here, wanna play a few rounds?”

“Hell yea!” he said excitedly

Once you two had arrived, he bought you both a bunch of tokens (as an apology for being late/wanted to show off) and I mean a bunch.

You watched him play a few games, and you were pretty shocked with how good he was with some of them, I mean, how much practice could someone really have with Flappy Bird?? The chance-based games though- don’t even get me started LOL he’d either get really lucky, or really unlucky.

Eventually, you guys found the strength/reflex based games. The ones with hammers, buttons, etc.

He tried the one with the hammer first. It was a simple one, all he had to do was hit it as hard as he could, the harder the better. Shidou picked up the tool, and slammed it down on the sensor. You could’ve swore he broke it.

He turned at you and smiled brightly “Jackpot!”

“Damn, you’re good” you stated, gathering the tickets as you ignored the scared children in the background. “Let’s try Whack-a-Mole next!” He dragged you over to the minigame.

He won again.

As you gathered the tickets again, you thought you should show off a bit too…

You grinned before grabbing his hand and leading him over to a certain stall you saw on your way in. It was one you played many times and you could constantly score well on.

You placed your belongings on the floor before starting up the game and stretching your fingers while Shidou just stared at his hand like he’d been touched by an angel

As the game started, you mashed buttons with your eyes focused on the screen at an alarming rate. Shidou’s eyes couldn’t even keep up, his jaw on the floor

Finally the game ended, with you beating the top score on the machine. You collected your mass amount of tickets and smiled at the boy “Jackpot!”

Shidou pouted “When were you going to tell me you were so good with your fingers~?”

You sighed as you continued to look around, “Hey Shidou look, if we beat these bots in a shooter game we get free pizza” you pointed at an advertisement stuck to the wall

He glanced at the poster quickly before giving you a devilish grin “You down?”

“Hell yeah.”

You picked up the prop gun in the booth and pressed the “Ready” button, waiting for the simulation to start. You closed an eye and pulled the fake trigger, shooting the zombies coming at you and Shidou.

You could hear his trigger-happy laughs from beside you as he one-shotted the enemies. Needless to say, you two won. Shidou stepped out the booth with a smug smile as you redeemed your free pizza, “You’re not bad~” he teased

You laughed “You’re pretty good too, Shidou”

You two sat down to eat as you chatted, “Thank you for coming today! I was really worried you were gonna ditch LOL” Shidou said nonchalantly as he scarfed down a slice

“Is that why you were late….?” you asked, picking up your own slice

“Nah, I just forgot!” he smiled

After lunch, you played a few more games, amassing a very large sum of tickets. You and Shidou now stared at the prizes, thinking about what you wanted. “Hmmmm” he thought out-loud, “You can have all the tickets.” he looked at you with a smile

“Really?” you asked skeptically “You sure? That’s a lot-”

“Yea, 100%. I don’t mind” he handed you his tickets “Just one thing in return…” he smirked at you mischievously

You hesitated but took the tickets anyway, “What is it…”

He pointed at his cheek, “Gimme a kiss”

“...”

“...Please?”

You gave him a very quick one before going back to looking at the prizes, Shidou smiled and buried his face into his hands, looking up at you with hearts in his eyes

You placed a huge plushie of your favourite animal on the table for the worker to scan, and you brought out the tickets to pay. Shidou came up to you from behind and clung onto your waist as he buried his face into your neck

The worker laughed as she handed you your plush, “Your boyfriend?” she questioned,

“Not quite-” you started, before getting cut off by Shidou,

“Soon.” he still latched onto you

After that, he walked you home and wished you a good day, he also asked for another kiss, it depends on you if you actually give it to him or not tho ;)

He’d plop himself on his bed and just think about everything that happened, and now he’s sure he wants to go out with you again, it’s not much of a choice ;)

>Sae

[Fancy Restaurant/late night car drive]

This may be the fanciest date you’ve ever been on- never had you dressed up so formally.

You took a few breaths while waiting at the door for Sae to pick you, checking your phone every 2 seconds. And finally you got a next, “I’m waiting for you outside”

Sae walked out and opened the car door for you, holding your hand while escorting you in. As he closed the doors and started up the engine, he pulled out a small bouquet of flowers, “This is for you”

You took the flowers in your hands and blushed, you had only mentioned your favourite type briefly, and yet he still remembered. “Thank you, Sae.” you gave a short reply while looking at him brightly

He couldn’t help but smile a bit at your reaction, silently freaking out about how good you looked

At the restaurant, you two were seated almost immediately, thanks to the reservation. He was a gentleman and everything, pulling out your chair for you, and kissing your hand lightly.

“Hello! What can I get started for you?” a waiter came by with a notepad, ready to take your order, even though you’ve only had the menu for like 40 seconds. You’d need much more time than that to decide, but you didn’t want to bother them, so you flipped through the menu quickly trying to pick

“We’re still deciding.” Sae stated directly, putting his hand over yours which was tapping lightly on the table, a habit you developed when anxious.

You gave him a thankful nod and smile, to which he blushed lightly

“Pick whatever you want” He said, “I’ll pay.”

You would’ve insisted on paying for yourself, but looking at the menu, there was no way you could afford it, so you thanked him and continued browsing

After a bit, you decided what you wanted. You looked up at Sae and he was… looking at the kids menu-

I mean, who were you to judge? We love the kids menu, you just didn’t expect Sae Itoshi of everyone to look thought it

He eventually noticed you staring at him, and flipped to another section “Sorry..” he mumbled, slightly embarrassed. You had to hold in a laugh at the scene, and Sae only frowned playfully at you. “My little brother used to always get something from there.” he stated, “Anyway, have you decided what you want?”

He called the waiter over and you both imputed your orders.

While the two of you waited for your food, you started a conversation, which soon led to another, and another. You were teasing him about not knowing anything other than soccer, and you even managed to get a few jokes and affectionate eyerolls out of him, and finally your food arrived.

As the waiter put the plates down, your jaw dropped as your mouth watered, it was the best food you have ever seen. Your entire face lit up as you grabbed a utensil and started going at it, not thinking about anything other than the delicious taste.

“You look like you’ve been starved” Sae laughed as he picked up his own fork and knife, and started cutting his stake like a proper person, especially compared to you who had sauce by your lips

He grabbed a napkin and wiped it off, smiling at your flustered reaction

The two of you ate, occasionally exchanging words, but you were much too busy appreciating the food, and he was much too busy appreciating your beauty

You let out a content sigh as you put your fork down and smiled “That was good food.” you said, expression like you’ve just been blessed by the heavens

Sae silently laughed, he used to come here pretty often with his family, so things like these weren’t anything special to him, but you made it memorable.

He paid the bill and led you out the building, a small smile on his face.

“Where to now?” you asked as you got in the car “You said you wanted to show me something?”

“Mhm.” Sae nodded as he drove out the parking lot “It’s a bit far, but we can get there quickly” he had the tiniest grin on his face, his eyes hiding a bit of mischief

You looked at him hesitantly, wondering what he was about to do. But you didn’t even have a second to adjust before he suddenly accelerated, much higher than you could’ve anticipated.

“AIDUSGFLAUEGF-” you let out a string of swears as you were pushed into the seat by the speed you were going while he laughed

If there were cars around, he would’ve crashed into one by now, or got pulled over. Luckily, it was pretty late at night and no one was around, so he could go however fast he wanted.

“Are you sure this is safe??” you yelled as Sae rolled down the windows

“Trust me.” he replied, before drifting 90° to turn

“See?” he said with a smile “Perfectly safe”

The car was now going at a slightly more normal pace as he held one hand on the steering wheel and intertwined the other one with yours as you tried to comprehend what happened. “We’re almost there” he smiled

As you arrived, Sae helped you out as you looked around. I was just a huge empty parking lot, with seemingly nothing around, “What did you want to show me?” you asked

“Look up” he nodded at the sky

As you turned to face it, big fireworks of every colour shot up, lighting up the night sky.

You smiled, you always loved fireworks after all “They’re so pretty..”

Sae pulled you in with a smile, “Not as pretty as you”. Sae leaned in and pressed his lips against yours, a sweet feeling engulfing you both.

As you finally pulled away, you buried your red face in his chest, still flustered. Sae smiled, as he put a hand on your hand, and another around your waist “Let’s get you home, my love”

A/N: jsut hit me that i have to put "SEPARATE" in the title or it sounds like a harem

#bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #bllk x you #headcannons #bllk headcanons #bllk scenarios #rin itoshi #rin x reader #shidou ryusei #shidou x reader #itoshi sae #sae x reader

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notebooks-and-laptops · 3 months ago

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HELLO ALL

Im back, I've finished the game and OH BOI do I have opinions about Dragon Age The Veilguard. They're nuanced, there's lots of them, and I'm sure I'll find more as I go into my second playthrough.

I'm also excited to see all of y'all's opinions.

My one line summary is: a good game, a bad dragon age game.

There are many, many pieces of this game I love and will talk about for weeks to come. I loved the expanded lore about the blight, elves and dwarfs, I loved the aesthetics of the game, I loved the ending. I thought that characters were wonderful (although I would have preferred some more controversial characters in there too as we've had in previous games) and the sense of building a team was so much more pronounced than DAI because these people actually talked to one another. The parts with Solas and Varric were well done as well. I ADORED the crossroads.

But overall there was a lack of true connection to religion and culture, and a softening of any moral ambiguity in some of the most interesting groups Thedas has to offer such as the Crows. The game refused to engage in true dialogue with some of the horrifying things it has done in the past, such as prejudice and slavery instead preferring to offer a sanitised world. And the theme of regret was not properly tied to the companions enough to make it feel all encompassing.

I know dragon age can do better because it gave us DAO and DA2 both of which feel very hydrogen bomb over this coughing baby. That being said I did really enjoy myself in this game and am going to be creating more Rooks and playing again. I just do think they pulled far too many of their punches and softened too many things about Thedas. It is unfortunately my least favourite dragon age game, but I still enjoyed it and still love dragon age.

I'm no longer tagging DATV spoilers! Please be warned my blog is not spoiler free!!!!!

Dragon age: The Veilguard Review links

Part One: Why Fenris Could Never cameo in Dragon Age The Veilguard

Anarcharisms, LGBT+ characters and cultures and How I'd Write Taash's Storyline

Why The Veilguard Handles Grey Wardens Better than Dragon Age Inquisition: The horrors of the Blight, the Calling and the Cauldron

How to Formulate Companion Quests: Why a Lack of Theming and Overstressed Game Mechanics Got In The Way

Why Rooks Backstory's aren't Good Fits for this Game (and how I'd fix them)

Why the Dragon King Sucks: an Exploration of What Makes a Good Villain and a satisfying Story Conclusion

"If we use force against our enemies, our allies will remember it": an exploration of the Archon Quest in DAtV.

Main OCs you may here me talking about:

I am currently playing Mass Effect for the first time with Cassiopeia 'Cassi' Shepard:

#dragon age #datv #dragon age the veilguard

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where-does-the-heart-lie · 1 year ago

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The way you draw Luffy: Absolute Cutie Patootie, this bad boy can fit so many shenanigans in him

The way you draw Ace: Chiselled perfection worthy of the gods themselves, Holy Shit How Can A Drawing Be This Attractive Take Mercy On Me I Am A Humble AroAce I Don’t Deserve This

The way you draw Sabo: look at this pretty boy. there is something deeply wrong with him on an emotional, psychological and spiritual level. when gothic horrors describe beings so beautiful and so unnerving this is what I imagine.

Yeah, pretty much!

Thanks for the ask!

#ask reply #@musterfish

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naivegh0ul · 1 year ago

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some ghost headcanons bc I cannot stop thinking about him

can't handle spices for the life of him. thinks salt is spicy

HATES horror movies. they make him paranoid :(

super clingy. he loves physical touch, just snuggling up to someone and resting his head on top of theirs <3

he has this stupid little nokia phone that looks tiny in his hands. he says it's practical bc it's hard to break but really he just can't be bothered to upgrade to a new phone

really tech savvy tho. loves to code

he likes to share his things (i.e the ghost team cutscene)

has fallen asleep standing up many times. he's like a horse and it terrifies the recruits

snores so goddamn loud it literally vibrates through the floors

he sneezes loud too. it's like a bomb going off. he scares himself with how his sneeze is sometimes

keeps a picture of him and his team in shoe

the best sense of direction ever. it's actually kind of scary. you could be lost in the middle of nowhere and ghost will point in a random direction, totally guessing and you'll end up out of the forest and back in civilisation

he says the worst jokes. they're so bad that they're kinda good

he's a cat person through and through. he likes dogs, sure, but he loves cats. especially black cats

only takes boiling hot showers. if the water isn't burning his skin, he doesn't want it. he doesn't like baths, it's too quiet and most of them are too small for him to fit into anyways

nsfw headcanons below the cut

when i said he was clingy, i meant it. this man will keep you in bed for hours, cock buried inside you as he lazily rocks back and forth.

sometimes he falls asleep while still inside you and gets really grumpy when you try to get up

loves pubic hair. he goes crazy when his partner has hair down there. he just thinks it's so damn hot

he likes shoving his fingers in your mouth. not to shut you up (though he does that a lot) but he just likes watching you gag a little on his fingers and then suckle on them softly

100% a brat tamer. he loves when his partners are fiery and playfully

he likes pliable, soft people as well. likes to see how obedient they are and how far they'll go to please him

he gives the best head it's actually insane

he's a hairy boy. absolutely covered in hair, especially on his chest and thighs

he can be so mean but so sweet in bed. cooing praises while he bends you over his knee, or stroking your hair as he makes you gag on his cock

LOVES to pull you onto his lap and grope you. he will grab you by the hips and try to yank you into his laps whenever you're near. just loves having you near/on him at all times

#gender neutral reader #ghost cod #ghost #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x gender neutral reader #simon riley x gender neutral reader #ghost headcanons #simon riley headcanons #ghost smut #ghost fluff

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watercloud7 · 11 months ago

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BATFAM PROMPT:

Feral Talon Dad Bruce Wayne AU

The bat kids are raised by a Cryptid zombie horror murder man who loves them very very much❤️

Bruce is sent to kill the Graysons by the court of Owls and kidnap their child to make him a Talon.

Dick witnesses the whole thing but because he’s so young in this AU like basically a toddler he’s terrified and when Bruce picks him up to take him back to the Owls Dick snuggles into him and sobs and screeches and he’s angry and confused and scared and tiny but This massive murder monster who killed his parents is the only comfort he has.

Dick is alone and he has no one. No one is coming to save him, no one is coming for him , his mama and daddy are gone and the only thing left is …. Whatever the hell this cryptid horror zombie is.

So Dick, takes his comfort where he can, which today comes in form of zombi does Bruce Wayne and that’s what it takes i guess.

Bruce breaks out of conditioning and vanishes into thin air with the kid. Only he doesn’t go back to the court.

Maybe this Bruce takes baby Grayson away and raises him as a feral murder baby.

They live secluded and away from anyone and anything. Maybe the mountains in Nanda parbat. They’re so discreet and good the league of assassins doesn’t even know their mountains are technically compromised.

Bruce raises Dick in complete secrecy. Literally like a wild child, Bruce occasionally travels to the town over to bring back toys and books and whatever he finds that he thinks would make Dick happy.

Dick sees and longs for peoples and connections and more. He loves Bruce but Bruce is basically like Ariel’s dad WORSE he’s basically mother gothel, he’s seen so many horrors and he’s so paranoid. He just wants his son to stay alive and away from any harm.

keeping Dixk locked away and safe from the Owls that mean him horrific torture and agony. Safe from the world, Safe with Daddy😭❤️.

SIGN LANGUAGE ENTHUSIAST BATFAM HEADCANON.

Bruce’s voice is … zombified and uncomfortable to use, so he teaches himself sign language and then teaches Dick. They invent their own dialect. Just for them😭

Dick gets big enough to want to see the world, to understand what happened, to find himself outside of his adopted eldritch Dad, and MAYBE! Make a damn friend like he’s been seeing in those picture books Bruce brings for him every week.

He “runs away” in a fit of teenage rebellion or whatever you wanna call it, after Dick gets caught sneaking into a village a couple kilometres from their Cosy little cave they like to call home.

Bruce is furious and terrified and he’s everything a scared father is after finding your kid missing from their room when they were supposed to be home hours ago.

Dick explodes in frustration and tears and off he goes.

He goes back to the beginning. To Gotham.

A half deadly Half sunshine all Feral Dick Grayson is roaming the world all alone when he stumbles across a considerably less feral

Less deadly Jason Todd.

Jay is an orphan and this weirdly affectionate clueless terror of a guy just imprinted on him

and won’t leave him alone.

I mean Scary bird boy is a stage 5 dumbass, zero bark, Zero bite 100% cuddles kinda guy.

(Seriously this dude has no concept of personal space and it’s bordering on infuriating) but Jason is like 99.9% sure he just saw him down crime alley snapping the resident rapists necks.

The men that call girls avoided and the police did isn’t care to arrest, so clearly bird boy is not a bad guy but he’s definitely not Harmless either.

Jason likes his style though.

Maybe the court of owls tries going after Jason or tries to kidnap Dick again.

Bruce finds them in the nick of time and slaughters every single one of the Owls once and for all.

Shenanigans ensue and they all bond.

Love love love. Bruce literally adopts him the minute he sees him.

Bruce and Dick teach Jay sign language.

Jason teaches Bruce and Dick how to read.

Jason loves his feral dad and brother.

MAYBE! Tim parents were Owls.

The rich wealthy elites of Gotham succumb to their nefarious ways in an ironic and cathartic end, survived by their heir Timothy Jackson Drake. Who up until now they had been grooming into becoming the next Owl man, he’s been trained to kill and torture and every other bad guy skills he needs to be their evil little successor.🫡

Bruce gets rid of them though.

WOMP WOMP.

Maybe after killing Timmy’s parents Bruce is just like…

Bruce: awwwwww this reminds me of how Dick’s surprise adoption went!

Tim:…. Bro you can’t just murder my parents and call this a surprise adoption.

Bruce: we can call this a kidnapping if you wanna keep it 💯 but either way you’re coming home with me

Tim: …. I ain’t even like em like that fr. Let me just pack a bag real quick.

The Drakes parenting was abhorrent so after Bruce kidnaps him ,Tim is viciously violent at first but after Bruce shows Tim patience and kindness.

Tim develops Stockholm syndrome like instantly and just latches onto Bruce like it’s the first instance of true love and care he’s ever felt.

Jason is actually the most normal and well

adjusted out of his Psychotic family. Ironically he’s the only one out of all of them that hasn’t killed someone lol.

Tim latches on violently to Dick & Jason, it’s adorable and scary and very creepy in a wholesome way. Tim absorbs any kind of attention like a sponge and has separation anxiety. He likes to watch them sleep and follow them every where they go like a puppy, only he does it in the shadows and takes candid pictures of them he collects religiously.

He’s a complete weirdo.

Dick finds him Absolutely delightful, he wants to gobble him all up and cuddle at every opportunity, he enables all Of his bad habits and Jason does his best to damage control and encourage Tim to dabble in more healthy hobbies and ways of showing affection but ultimately Dick Grayson remains undefeated as a bad influence.

Dick is a good big brother, so obviously he’s gotta participate in his baby brothers love language so Timmy can feel seen and appreciated.

So now Jason has TWO stalkers shadowing him everywhere he goes. 3 when Bruce is feeling sentimental.

Jason tolerates his families psychotic and feral behaviour because he loves them more then life itself and if anyone else said anything like that about them he’d snap their necks.

Jason shows his affection in normal ways like beating up peoples trying to start a fight with his brothers and cooking for them because they can’t cook to save their lives.

Sometimes Jason will wonder on how exactly Dixk survived all those years in that cave with an immortal Bruce who doesn’t need to eat.

(Bruce would catch wild animals and Dixk

Would eat the meat raw, sometimes he’d hold his blood soaked hand full of flesh out wanting to share with dad, but Bruce would just drag Dick closer to him and nudge him to keep eating his dinner)

Jason feels bad and bakes him sugary monstrosities included but not limited too:

Oreo chocolate chip maple soaked marshmallow pancakes.

Sour candy lucky charm jam filled donuts.

Triple Chocolate Nutella and peanut butter Reese cookies.

Jason is appropriately horrified at what he’s created every time.

But Dick tasted sugar for the first time and doesn’t know how to act.

The kids are living their best lives but Bruce Is SPIRALLING.

The more kids Bruce acquires the more stressed he gets.

There’s a really angsty scene where Bruce breaks down holding onto his kids and crying. He’s not a monster, he just wants these kids to be safe. He doesn’t wanna kill anymore, he doesn’t wanna hurt things anymore.

He wants to go home with his babies.

He wants to take all of them back to their busted creepy cave in nanda parbat.

But Dickie Isn’t a baby anymore, he wants his family close but he also wants MORE, he wants to be around people he wants to discover the world. Jason was born and raised in Gotham and Bruce can’t in good conscience rip his life apart like that.

And then there’s Timmy. Honestly the Tim is this AU is an unhinged obsessive gremlin, he just goes wherever his family wants to go, nothing else really matters to him but them.

And so Bruce decides to stay in Gotham and hides them all in an abandoned building. It’s kind of like a nest.

Bruce stashes his babies in a Makeshift safe house until he can figure out a way to make all this work.

Maybe Alfred finds their weird little makeshift Family when he stumbles into their safe house and manages not to get immediately killed.

Alfred is VERY worried about the state in which these kids are living.

He vows to lure them and their Dad to a safer better living arrangement.

Maybe Bruce gets severely hurt and the kids kidnap Alfred to patch Bruce up.

Alfred is appropriately horrified at the undead creature growling and hissing while he treats their mortally terminal wounds, but keeps as much composure as an ex-military general would about it.

Bruce like totally imprints on Alfred And like a cat, he drags each and every one of his kids into Alfred life for him to babysit and look after while Bruce goes out to do whatever zombie dads do.

Alfred has no choice in the matter and has effectively acquired spontaneous grandkids and a son.

Bruce: daddy?

Alfred: …. Boy do I look like-⁉️

They move in with Alfred basically over night.

Damian is either created Through the league of assassins who stole the courts strongest talon’s DNA (Bruce’s DNA) to recreate it. Or any other way I guess I donno? Maybe Talia and Bruce got jiggy with It at one point when they were in those mountains. PFFFF LOL GIVE ME IDEAS.

Gonna run with the first idea ?

Damian is created in a lab, Maybe the Drakes latest project was too recreate their greatest success which had been Talon!Bruce.

Tim revisits his parents lab randomly and discovers this. An abandoned lab and abandoned cryogenic chamber containing a baby.

Tim grabs the kids and runs back home.

Jason is exasperated and Alfred panics a bit cause…. Huh?!?!

Jason: Seriously guys? We can’t afford Another surprise adoption right now.

Alfred: do you mean a “kidnapping”

Jason: don’t be mean! It’s their love language 😡

Alfred: wonderful… is it safe to assume I’ll be raising yet another grandchild?

Jason: that’s the spirit, anyway we gotta find a much bigger apartment than this, it’s getting crowded.

Alfred: Ah, my sincerest apologies for the inconvenience caused by my oversight. It seems I should have anticipated my being abducted by a feral street urchin and his entourage of lethal pets. Quite the oversight on my part, I’ll begin apartment hunting right away sir.

Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian: *living their best life while Alfred tries to wrangle them out of shenanigans*

Anyways They take Damian in and he’s just as feral and eldritch horror as his daddy. He’s got his big brother’s trademark behaviours too!

Tim’s severely anti social mess , Dick’s creepy uncanny valley nature and Jason’s love for baking!

It’s so sweet how much he takes after his sibling and Bruce couldn’t be more proud of his litter of horror.

Alfred is honestly such a trooper through all this, salute the GOAT.

I wrote this on a whim! If y’all wanna hear more about this AU, if you want it written, let me know!

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opheliasam · 8 months ago

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the audience effectively participates in the further abuse of sam by failing to notice or at times deliberately dismissing/ trivialising instances of abuse performed against him . So he is silenced and isolated and blamed disproportionately yet again . By the narrative AND by the audience . And of course the onus of this is on the show and the way it uses narrative power to not only justify and rationalise abuse but perpetuate it too. but still . Still.

it wasn’t the incest show nor was it the secret destiel show it was actually a secret third thing that is truly . So much worse

#like spn <- this bad boy can fit so many dimensions of horror in it #this is genuinely one of the most horrific things that could happen btw . akin to a psyop almost #abuse tw #it’s genuinely stomach churning and hereditary levels of horror if u see it for what it is . he doesn’t escape the cycle . he never escapes #the cycle #abuse denial #like this is one of the most realistic and harrowing portrayals of long term and sustained abuse in any media .#and it’s just written down to jpad bad acting + sam needless annoying whiner + weak #and he’s punished again and again and again for anything he does AND does not do and it is so so insidious . and disturbing #and once you notice it . you don’t stop noticing it #and just like in the show. even the fandom can acknowledge the toxicity of their relationship but only if it does not antagonise dean #dean occupies the largest space both narratively and outside of it . his presence itself is malignant to sam taking up space even in meta +#fandom posts #we r all still tiptoeing around him and i would almost be impressed at how incredibly disturbing it is.#tw abuse

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xo-cod · 1 year ago

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141 boys treating hyperfeminine!reader as goddess headcanons? 🩷

i got a little confused with what you mean lmfao, i hope this is what you wanted :') <3

ooc/rushed/can be read platonic or romantic 🤍

each of them are very territorial of you even if they don't mean it to be, it just happens especially because you're a precious thing they constantly want to shield away from the horrors of the job

even if you see it, they do try their hardest to limit the gory viewing of it

ghost grumbling about all your pretty items saying that it clogs the space but him secretly taking keeping a few to keep safe.

you know about it and he knows that you know but you never say anything about it

and he keeps them close to his heart on those days he's missing you a little harder <33

he's your handyman no matter what, has gone head to head with price on this

if anything is wrong in your apartment, he's there instantly fixing away with the tip of his tongue stuck between his lips if he's been at it for a while/lost in thought

he wants to do everything for you, has to hold himself back because he knows you're capable and very smart

but it's hard because you're a lil sunshine packed in a human that he can't help but want to squeeze

def gets cuteness aggression with you, cannot help it. will try his hardest to fight against it

gaz is so tender with you, he constantly appreciates every single little thing you do for him

could've bawled into tears at the time you cooked him breakfast complete with fresh hand squeezed juice and pancakes with syrup

and when you handed it to him with a sweet smile, he felt his heart crumbling into a billion pieces

bodyguard no matter where you're going, even if it's to the shop up the road he's coming along

soap has a small tendency to cling onto you whatever you're doing

it's not outright in a childish sense but moreso lingering touches and holding you subtly

it's just in his nature, he misses you so bad whenever you're gone on a mission and you're unavailable for however long that period is

fights price to come with you but gets shut down because he's needed somewhere else

could've cried about it, but he didn't ‼️

price didn't know how much he needed you until you came into his life

not only were you a competent intelligent technical analyst, the best he had on the team

but even off duty, how kind hearted and sweet you were with him

it opened a whole can of worms he thought hadn't even existed

they're all like little children when you're doing your own thing and they're just watching you

all of them being intrigued by your makeup, pointing at several things and asking what the purpose is

"why's is so pointy?" soap had found your eyeliner, looking in the mirror as he attempted his own liner but the poor thing ends up looking like a panda by the time he's done and awkwardly laughing as he hands you back an eyeliner pen that's a little broken now from how frustrated he got

"you waste money when you buy the same things. you just get one and stick with it" simon is loyal king to his own products, the same brand of shampoo he's been buying since the early 2000's is fighting for its life. will never understand why you buy so many blushes/eye shadows/lipsticks but likes watching you put it on

"i watched a video about this yesterday, here lemme help" gaz, always the perfect helper. because what do you means he's gonna let you struggle if your eyeliner is matching on both sides??? he's gonna help you with it ‼️

price, bless his heart just wants to be involved but he doesn't know how to. awkwardly smiling, nodding his head telling you, you did a great job and there's no flashback (learnt the word one time. doesn't know what it means but it sounds fitting)

them poking fun at the candles you used but buying the exact same ones to use at their own homes because it reminds them of you

soap and gaz love the scent in your home, always trying to recreate it in theirs but it never coming close to yours <33

if you're ever running low on anything, it's refilled the next day

yes they all have keys to your house

because why do you need to use your pretty hands when they're here to help you?

game over if you paint your nails in their favourite colour

soap is so proud, constantly showing your hand off and telling you that it should be a permanent colour

gaz being so smug about it, his favourite colour is the most superior therefore it needs to be permanently coloured on your nails

ghost doing a double take at your nails, his heart melting when he sees them, can't not resist touching them or trying to touch them lmaooo

price telling you outright that it suits you and him telling you subtly that it needs to be an every day colour

all of them fighting for their lives trying to pay for your nail appointment but the other trying to butt in

and when you have a bad day, working yourself to the bone all of them step up and intervene

"c'mon sweetheart, it's been a long day" price is very gentle with you, holding you up by your hips as he looks at you inspecting your fatigued state. it hurts his heart when you work yourself to death for this team

"there we go, bonnie. i made you a cuppa" johnny handing you his famous hot chocolates in your hands, helping you take a few sips as he holds you gently in his arms

"i'll run the bath for you, pretty" gaz kissing your temple before he plucks your towel and a bath bomb, determined to make the prettiest most relaxing bubble bath you've ever seen

"c'mere lovie, enough for today" simon holding you to his chest as he takes you put of your seat and helping you stand up. his thumb gently brushing over your cheek with a soft sigh, his affections practically radiating off from him in waves. he may not be a man of poetic words but his actions tell you what he says anyway

and if you have enemies, congrats they have four more

heaven forbid you ever meet kortac, especially könig. simon's got words to say ‼️

#asks #simon riley #call of duty modern warfare #john soap mactavish #john price #kyle gaz garrick #141 x reader #criminal minds au

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murfpersonalblog · 16 days ago

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IWTV Musings - LDPDL & Nosferatu 2024 (Pt9: Subverting Gothic Gender in Femme-Coded Gay Black Men)

Since S1 aired, a large portion of AMC's Interview with the Vampire 2022 fandom has resisted the notion of Louis de Pointe du Lac, a Black gay male vampire living during Jim Crow, as a female-coded character. Viewers (esp. cis straight white women--the antithesis of the gay Black man) have expressed how they either cannot or will not see Black!LDPDL aligning with feminine tropes, archetypes, aesthetics, sentiments, roles, norms, or social positions. Many cis straight white fans have made in depth analyses of IWTV's Gothic/Horror genre(s), and Gothic hero/heroine tropes through white male/female lenses, but I've yet to see any substantial analysis (or even acknowledgement) from this contingency about Black Horror, let alone the intersection of Black LGBT+ Horror and Gothic Horror. Meanwhile, their main defense/offense against Black & Bipoc fans has consistently been to either throw TERF accusations & media literacy snobbery at anyone who criticizes or counters their white-centric gender analyses of Black!LDPDL's place in Gothic Horror (others' experiences: x x x | my own experiences: x x x). And interestingly, a lot of IWTV Gothic aficionados have avoided engaging with the most recent iteration of the vampire in Gothic Horror that loosely inspired Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles series: Dracula, a la Nosferatu 2024.

So this post is largely in reponse to several of @pynkhues' anti-GothicHeroine!Lou etc analyses of Gothic characters, but I'm still sticking to the Louis/Ellen theme when relevant, just walk with me.

Louis as the Byronic Hero? 🤔

First let's look at @pynkhues' analysis of Gothic characters here:

YES, Louis is a Byronic hero. However, AR's own Alphabettery acknowledges that all Byronic heroes are NOT created equally.

Lestat is "THE embodiment a Byronic hero," while Louis SUBVERTS the archetype by regretting/rejecting his bad tendencies, rather than EMBRACING them, unlike Byron/Lestat/Lord Ruthven/etc.

Cuz going by the definition Pynkhues provided, when you actually break their characteristics down, you can easily see which one fits more than the other.

Louis has far LESS in common with the Byronic hero than Lestat. Lou's similarities to Byronic heroes are largely skin-deep (LOL). He's a tortured emo pretty boy, sure, but the points where he differs are what BREAKS the Byronic mold, not AFFIRMS it:

3) Louis does NOT rebel against "all fundamental values and moral codes of the society"--the whole point is that he CONFORMS to societal expectations, to the detriment of his own happiness!

5) often shows a GREAT DEAL of disrespect for ANY figure of authority. | 8a) arrogant

I've addressed this b4, cuz LouisAntis keep pointing to the RACIST Alderman Fenwick calling Lou arrogant, and Lou sassing him saying "MAYBE I am arrogant!" as CONFIRMATION BIAS for all the things these horrible white men said about that uppity Black N****r who dared to rise above his "PLACE in the world...flying too close to the sun." And we see the exact same nasty sentiments with Santiago & Lestat & Sam's script in 2x7 (written by three more white men to insult & vilify Louis). Cuz yes, Louis IS prideful/haughty, esp. in the context of the classic tragic hero where pride comes b4 a fall. But it is in direct response to his attempts to break FREE of the societal constrictions tryna keep him DOWN. The white racists in NOLA are busy tryna steal his property right under him with the Ordinances segregating Storyville; and the coven's busy tryna convert him into their satanic death cult where he'll never be allowed to have his own autonomy/independence again; a SLAVE; "you'll be our little birdie for the next 50 years~!" The point is that GAY Black men & women in general were both at very the bottom of the social pyramid (maligned in a patriarchal society that equated femininity with everything negative & weak & exploitable). LDPDL & Ellen Hutter resist the UNFAIR TREATMENT they received. That resistance is treated as disrespect to KEEP them in "their place;" abused & dehumanized.

Louis shows TOO MUCH respect to awful racist homophobes, from his hateful AF mother, who he deferred to until her dying effing day; to his racist white bosses Tom Anderson & Alderman Fenwick & Fenwick's lawyer; to the white cops who busted in his house threatening to put him in JAIL for being gay. Louis' monologue in 1x2 about "No, Sir; Yes, Sir" flew CLEAR over y'all heads; y'all have the nerve to take Louis STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF against insults & blatant racism as a sign of "disrespect," and then wonder why Black fans call y'all out as racists, I swear. 😂

6a) Neither Louis not Lestat stand against the dehumanized system of labor, as they both indulge in the benefits of human exploitation, from slavery to prostitution.

6b) WHERE does THE Catholic Guilt LDPDL stand against traditionally repressive religious??? 🤨 Jacob's most iconic scene is of Louis crying out to God in a confession booth! 🤣 Yes, in WWII he started losing his religion, scared that God didn't exist cuz of everything he saw during the war, but Armand pointed out that Lou was STILL holding onto Christian notions of good & evil. Yes, in Dubai he says he doesn't read the Bible much anymore because of it, but he STILL wondered if his mom was right that his nature was that of the Devil, and he tried to prove everyone wrong by not killing since 2000.

6c) WHERE does Domestic Thy Name Is LDPDL stand against social & familial institutions & traditional family values? 🤨 Lestat & Armand didn't even WANT any kids--Louis was the one constantly pushing to start a family with them; only for Lestat to tell him to his face that "I am your family, Louis;" eff them kids, eff Benni, we don't need sons or daughters to be a family so long as we have each other!

8d) WHERE is Louis "unrepentant for his faults"? 🤨 All he does is blame himself for ish that ain't even his fault! All he does is repent--he's eating human food every week that tastes like PASTE! CHALK! SOAP! as a form of self-mortification, to remind himself that he IS human, that he doesn't WANT to be a damned & undead killer.

Louis =/= Gothic Heroine? 🤔

From CLAUDIA'S POV, yes 100%, Loustat are BOTH the patriarchs from hell, her "taught to kill by her demon fathers," etc. She indeed follows the typical Gothic Heroine arc (putting aside her being a child, ofc), esp. since yes, Louis doesn't really rescue himself from his bad situations--Claudia is "my light, my salvation" who saves him in S1, and Daniel saves him in S2. But AMC!Louis has far more agency than book!Louis, in that he IS aware of the Murder Plot, and actively (albeit reluctantly) takes part in it; unlike book!Louis, totally blindsided by Claudia. He never wanted to leave Lestat--who represented FREEDOM & PASSION for him; "I was seen!" And just like Ellen/Mina, in the end Louis musters the willpower to slit Lestat's throat & "kill" his soulmate--not for his own sake, but for the sake of HIS DAUGHTER. He sacrifices his happiness for her, but still chooses Death, when he refuses to burn Lestat. He WANTS to hold hands with death, BUT ALSO sees purpose/worth in how he can weaponize his bond to Lestat to distract Les long enough to axe him.

The biggest difference with Louis & Mina/Ellen isn't GENDER, it's SPECIES--the other protags DIE, while he lives on as a vampire. (Ofc there's some iterations of Mina Harker AND Jonathan Harker/Thomas Hutter where they're permanently turned into vamps, too.)

Louis 100% wanted to leave Armand--how on earth was Louis able to leave "easily and definitively"?! 🤨 He tried to KILL HIMSELF in SanFran to get away from his boring AF life with Armand, but Armand wouldn't LET him die. He tries to do the interview in 1973 and Armand INTERRUPTS. He does the interview in 2022 and Armand INTERRUPTS. Over & over, Louis is trying to GET OUT, and he can't. This is what I mean by BLACK HORROR, cuz unlike y'all Gothic experts in the fandom, I actually have analyzed similarities between Black!Louis in IWTV, and THE Black Horror film, Get Out.

Rolin Jones constantly stresses the (over)emphasis he puts on psychological horror in IWTV, AND the effects of gaslighting and manipulation in abusive & traumatic relationships, particularly when there's already a power imbalance stemming from race & sexuality, and the withholding or resistance of knowledge in a teacher/student dynamic. The whole point is about POWER & CONTROL. It's not that one has all the power/control & the other one has none. It's about who has MORE than their FAIR share. That's what IMBALANCE means. 🤦🤦🤦 Yes, Louis allows Armand control over his life, and Armand takes ADVANTAGE of that trust and goes behind Louis' back & lies & schemes in ways that are a VIOLATION.

Just because Louis gains (temporary) socio-economic status/power as Lestat's lover does NOT mean that he is EQUAL to Lestat, and just because he loves Lestat & WANTS to be with him doesn't mean he NEVER recognizes the ways that he IS under Lestat's thrall--

"in the well with no bottom" | "We're not slaves. Maybe mindless accomplices." | "We were compelled to sleep in the same chamber together again. He would have it no other way. We would spend our hours enduring, with little pretense of getting along, locked together in hatred. He would have it no other way."

--and Daniel constantly called BS whenever Lou tried denying it:

"White master, Black student, but equal in the quiet dark." | "It's the abused-abuser psychological relationship I'm talking about. I mean, usually when you're a little too close to it, the abused still loves the abuser, but you flipped it completely on its head! Years later, you talk like he was your soul mate, like you were locked in some f**ked up gothic romance!" | "'He only beat me the one time, Officer. It's not his fault!' Classic Stockholm, eh, Doc?"

Here @pynkhues says they're not racist cuz they started reading two (2) papers on Black gender & sexuality--congrats. Thousands more to go, but you'll get there! 👍 Good news though: you don't have to read ANYTHING to see with your own 2 eyes what the show itself is messaging. The very fact that Black!Louis moves into LESTAT'S HOUSE the entire time they were together is a glaring red GAY flag. book!/film!Loustat lived in LOUIS' house, until Lou burned the plantation down and they purchased a home in NOLA together (with Lou's money). AMC!Louis doesn't TRULY embody Black masculinity, cuz it's a facade; he has a target on his back the entire time he's with Lestat; EVERYONE has something homophobic to say about Lou even associating with that flaming "queer, half queer" WHITE man (x x).

You know good & dang well that WOMEN were supposed to marry in & move in--NOT the men. Louis already had a mansion in his name--wtf is he doing moving into Lestat's townhouse on the white side of town like a WIFE? You know the whole DPDL family dynamic's further screwed up, cuz Levi's a mooch who ALSO MOVES IN, rather than doing what the man was expected to do and providing his bride with a home of HIS own.

I laughed up a storm when we found out Lestat gave Louis the deed--because it's ODD: interracial gay relationships were illegal, and Black people weren't allowed to own prime real estate in the segregated French Quarter where 1132 is. Lestat bought the house FOR Louis, but the Black people in Louis' life KNOW Louis' not embodying Black masculinity and TELL him so to his face: "Your white Daddy | The Housewife | etc." Louis tells Florence "it's half a mile BOTH ways, Mamawn," but Florence won't even set FOOT in 1132, which even the white folk know has "weird goings-on in that sodomite townhouse." The Alderman even tells Louis to put Lestat as "the public face of your operations" cuz he's white and he's the only one anyone's gonna listen to & respect, even though Louis allegedly gained REAL social status. 🙄

Lestat is the honeytrap BECAUSE white men listen to white men and are more receptive to them--on top of the fact that Lou'd already explained that the Azalea worked as a "revolving door of prey" so Loustat could EAT the Johns (mostly Lestat, cuz Lou'd already started hating killing people)--TOURISTS like the white man who asked them directions for the Fairplay. Les takes the man cuz he's going to EAT HIM. He asks him how long he's in town, to confirm if anyone would NOTICE when he goes MISSING. Pynkhues' post also conflates/ignores the timeline of events, as if Lou's a housewife DURING the time he owns the Azalea, which....NO. Claudia's housewife quote in 1x5 (c. 1925) and Louis owning the Azalea PRE-Claudia in 1x2-1x3 (c. 1910-1917) are 2 radically different contexts. 🤦 Yes, Lou IS revelling in his newfound high social status, and yes, he insists on paying Lestat back specifically so no one can throw the fact that he had to borrow the money to buy the Fairplay in his face. But this is NOT about Lestat as the "placating partner while Lou's king of the castle"--in front of all the most important white businessmen in the city, Lestat DISMISSES the Azalea as "Louis' HOBBY," just like rich husbands who keep their wives busy & happy buying them silly little nail salons & florist shops & dog grooming salons & fashion shops to run! (x x) 💀 Back then, male pimps/gangsters like IRL Tom Anderson owned brothels, but they sure AF didn't RUN them--that was the MADAME'S job, for women like IRL Bricktop Jackson. Louis was doing WOMEN'S WORK. By marrying Lestat, Louis' "civil death" was in full swing, it just took Storyville burning as the final nail in the coffin. After that, Lou's thoroughly domesticated and doesn't interact with businessmen like Tom Anderson for YEARS.

This applies not just to AMC!Loustat, but to book/film Loustat, too:

Louis is NOT the dominant one in Loustat's relationship--he's patently submissive, as he either willingly/reluctantly capitulates to the whims & demands of everyone around him--from society at large, to his biological family--to even his Blood family, yanked around by Lestat AND Claudia for his eating habits to his leaving NOLA. From Louis' conception by AR, the theme of SLAVERY was a main point--not just book!Lou's status as a slaveowner(par for the course for moneyed French white colonists in the 19th century American South), but also the power imbalance between Loustat that manifested as "need and control, with one vampire dominating another for companionship or slavery."

Lestat represents the man Anne wanted to be, as she was sick & tired of how victimized & depressed & submissive & CONTROLLED she (Louis) felt under her husband Stan (Lestat). Just because Louis mouths off does NOT mean he's the one in control--the stalemate at 1132 existed because Louis REFUSED TO ACT. His INACTION in the face of Lestat's domineering behavior was because he was afraid of the consequences of what would happen if he DID defend himself & stand up & exert kinetic resistance (a la the Alderman) or action (a la Grace's door): his power was in his submission, like I've said 1000x.

Mouthy Black people getting put in their place is the whole point of another Black Horror/psychological thriller with interracial dynamics, Antebellum (2020). Not giving away too much of the movie, cuz it has a major plot twist, but the visual motifs are all about covering/opening the mouth, cuz the story's about a bunch of people known for being vocal for Black empowerment, who're rounded up & sold into slavery to be tortured, raped & killed by their white masters. The mater of main character Eve (played by the GOAT Janelle Monae) claims to "love" her even as he rapes & beats her; traumatizing her so badly that she goes silent & is too scared to help the other slaves run away to freedom, for fear that she'll be BURNED again--her master burned an an iron brand on her, marking her as his property. The monsters are the white slaveowners. The film can be hard to watch cuz they don't shy away from graphic scenes; it's horrific.

Just like Louis all throughout S1, and Lou & Claudia at the Trial, they're forced into silence & punished for speaking up to defend themselves or exert any autonomy--which RACISTS see as "disrespect." 🙄😒 And Claudia's burned alive, her own words used against her to damn her to death. And Louis' memories are used against him, everyone from Lestat to Armand to even Daniel contradicting his words, till he can't be sure what's true or not, and just goes with whatever the white man says, he's been worn down so badly. UNLIKE Claudia, he CANNOT run away from Dubai--Armand wiped that impulse from him after his final "eff off and find me later" in 1973 SanFran. And we're just left with Armand's word that he was telling the truth about Louis "asking" him to.

Louis ENCOURAGES Claudia to leave & be free THRICE OVER:

1x5 when she runs away and Loustat BOTH let her leave--(Louis begs her not to go, but never actually STOPS her, cuz he KNOWS she's right to be mad at him. He spends the next 7 years sending out telepathic apologies, letting her know that he still loves & misses her and that she has a home to come back to--but that return is always on HER terms, NEVER his.)

1x6 when SHE asks him to come to Europe with her and HE tells her: "You don't need me. You think you do, but you don't. You're smarter now. You see trouble coming a mile away." LESTAT was the one who dragged her back home like a runaway slave!

ALL OF S2: "New Orleans, unhappy. Vampire homeland, unhappy. Paris, unhappy. Comes the coven, you're beaming like the whole world went technicolor. I didn't want to wreck that for you. You picked the coven! You left me! Go sit in your choice, Sister!" HE asks HER if they can go back home in 2x1; he follows HER lead, as he does from 1x6 all the way to 2x6 when he makes Madeleine for her so they can LEAVE Paris together--without him. ARMAND is the one who uses her family reunion with Louis as a trap to have them all hamstrung through the BONE so they cant escape when he puts them on Trial & kills Claudia, then spends the next 77 years covering up the details.

Coercing Emotionally leveraging her rebirth in 1x4 & physically assaulting her in 1x7 - Yes, agreed.

Lou's less concerned with "influencing Claudia's DIET" as he is about her SADISM/"extravagance" that LESTAT kept enabling/encouraging. His whole point about killing is that "you don't have to humiliate them;" then WHAT happens in 2x7? He outright tells Claudia when she's grossed out by him drinking fish blood that "it's not just what you eat. You can kill quick and painless." His open disgust over THEIR diet is no better or worse than THEIR open disgust for HIS. And they BOTH ganged up on him in 1x6 to force him to agree to Lestat rule about "when he hunt, we hunt HUMAN," rather than going by what Lou said: "I eat what I eat, she eats what she eats, we RESPECT our differences." But as soon as Lestat was back in the house & exerting more & more authority, the balance between Louis & Claudia evaporated. And even in 2x2 Paris, Armand noticed that "the male hunted to please HER."

WHEN does Louis guilt Claudia into staying? 🤨 LESTAT guilts Claudia into staying in his threats on the train.

Louis threw Lestat out of LOUIS' house; he got the deed baby! And Lestat had already BEEN gone--Lou just confirmed that Les could STAY that way--but NOTHING lil ole Claudia & crippled Lou could've done would've ACTUALLY stopped Les from waltzing back into that house, be serious. (As for Antoinette, who CARES?! 🤣 That's what that skank gets for sleeping with a married man!)

What does Louis being a former pimp have to do with how he treated Claudia? Did he pimp Claudia out to the public for money and have her walking the streets to promote his businesses and punish her when she refused? NO. But you know who DID treat her that way? ARMAND. And you know who told Armand that he didn't like it? LOUIS. (Please miss me with any & all pimp arguments.)

Louis definitely threatened Grace at the funeral, yes, but when did he strong arm his mother? 🤨 She was the one who refused to let him in his own house to see his sister & nieces (whom SHE was busy badmouthing to so they'd be afraid of him). Levi literally tried to FIGHT Louis to keep Louis off his own property, when LEVI'S useless arse never contributed one red cent to LOUIS' house! The door getting kicked in was an accident, but OH FRIKKIN WELL, it's HIS door. (Miss me with any & all talk about Florence & Levi, omg.)

Yes, Miss Lily was expendable. But her death was all wrapped up in Lestat's relentless barrage of Come to Me, leading to Lou's drunken suicidal death spiral running to the confession booth screaming about how he wanted to die cuz he was a dirty gay sinning pimp whose family hated him. He had no time to mourn Lily. He BARELY had time to mourn Paul. And once he was a newlywed getting his back blown out to the rings of Saturn every night, sorrynotsorry but chile ain't nobody thinking about the woman he paid to sit in a room and talk to him! 😅

If Louis had been literally any other pimp, and if the Alderman wasn't suffering from chronic Jungle Fever smitten with her, Bricktop would've been DEAD. It was illegal during Jim Crow for Black people to even look white folk in the eye without their permission--"get your hand off me, N****r!," let alone bash their skull in and cuss them out "You put a SIR on the end of that!" Be serious, and understand the gravity of the situation in that scene, and how remarkable it was that Bricktop was NOT tossed to the wolves, where the Alderman would've been able to do WAY worse than sodomize her. It's wild AF how modern white folk are more ignorant about the history of racism than Black people, like wtf.

Yes, Louis helped curse her into damnation as a vampire--in the book/film he drains her & almost kills her, and Lestat brings her back as a vamp; while AMC!Lou's actions killing the Alderman was the catalyst sparking the racist white people burning Storyville down--and Claudia's house with it. 😡 The "monstrousness" Pynkhues nastily accuses Louis of is willfully misdirected to absolve the white racists of blame in order to damn Louis. His killing that p.o.s. Alderman is NOT a Byronic act, its VIGILANTISM due to the RACISM he experienced at the Aldermand's hands, that he stood up against by killing him and then IMMEDIATELY REGRETTING IT as he saw the devastation that happened to Storyville--the Bryonic hero does not REGRET/REPENT his misdeeds--as you cited above! 🤦 Claudia is indeed "trapped in the body of a little girl," but Louis does NOT "imprison/trap" Claudia in that house--just like Paul, he was the one encouraging her to be free & LEAVE when he knew he wouldn't.

As such, misreadings like this totally miss the mark of Louis' character arc, and I'm mind boggled. "Defiance" had NOTHING to do with Louis leaving NOLA--he regretted leaving Lestat the entire time, and was constantly hallucinating Lestat cuz he just wanted to go back home--and the SECOND he got free of Armand's shenanigans, he was back on a plane and in a car driving WHERE? To NOLA. And WHY? "I came to see you," LESTAT. And any "defiance" against Armand would've amounted to EFF ALL if Daniel hadn't gotten the real script from the Talamasca.

Gothic Heroines - Female Gothic vs Male Gothic

And guess what? Queer Gothic sits in the middle of this venn diagram--or rather, it creates a brand new paradigm where vampiric Gothic Horror stories written by a white woman in the 1970s about a white bisexual man can now be adapted in the 2020s by a white male showrunner and his MULTICULTURAL TEAM of male AND female writers about a Black gay man who represents male AND female social anxieties & struggles alike.

Westengard, Laura. "Queer Gothic Literature and Culture." Twentieth Century Gothic (2022): 259-272.

Claudia & Louis often SHARE/SPLIT the role of the Gothic Heroine--deuteragonists are a thing after all. It does NOT "diminish Claudia's arc;" instead, it lends her a more nuanced characterization, BECAUSE there are ways that she CANNOT fulfill certain Gothic Heroine tropes on her own--she's A CHILD, ffs. Louis is Claudia's surrogate adult male/female the way Lestat is Gabrielle's surrogate adult male/female.

As I've said b4 (x x), Louis is the Mina Harker/Ellen Hutter to Lestat's Dracula/Orlock--there's no way on god's green earth that anyone can seriously claim that Lestat's the female-coded character in the Dracula/Nosferatu framework of vampiric gothic horror--or any of its incarnations, from Twilight to True Blood; Louis is the Bella/Sookie, NOT Lestat (or Armand). But Lou is ALSO the Jonathan Harker/Thomas Hutter--and SO IS CLAUDIA, who does double duty as the Lucy Westenra/Anna Harding, too.

In S1 Claudia assumes the "masculine" agency Louis is expected to have as the male protagonist, but fails to live up to due to all of those character traits (typically perceived as weak & "feminine"). He's not the damsel in distress, but CLAUDIA thinks he is ("the housewife;" "we're his slaves, and I will free us both!"), and acts accordingly. Claudia/Thomas/Jonathan has consulted the scholarly experts on vampires (her vampire books | Dr. Van Helsing/Prof. Von Franz) and returns from a long period of absence (ran away from home | traveled to Dracula/Orlok's castle) to warn her companion (Louis/Ellen/Mina) about the dangers of the Big Bad Vampire corrupting them ("His love is a small box he keeps you in, don't stay in it!" | "He seeks after Ellen, I know it!" | "I know where the bastard sleeps!"). C/T/J struggles to reconcile their desperation to save their loved one with the realization that said loved one is connected to the vampire by a bond stronger than they can understand or meddle with (Loustat's cord you cannot see | DracuMina's crossing oceans of time | Orllen's dream-possession). She's not the main heroine, but C/T/J still wins a significant victory by purging the world of the other threat/impediment lurking (Antoinette/Herr Knock/Renfield).

But S2!Claudia ultimately reifies the Gothic heroine format; "victimized, virginal and powerless while being pursued by villainous men." This isn't a return to the format, since she never left it--in S1 she also represents the Lucy/Anna; the main character's closest friend & confidante, who's viciously targeted by The Vampire--either as the bait to lure his primary love interest under his influence, or to demonstrate just how much control he has over everyone's lives. Bruce, Lestat, Santiago, Armand, and even Sam all participate in her murder; but LOUIS is also a victim of the Trial, powerless to help himself or either of his daughters--a la Anna/Friedrich Harding.

Anne Rice & Self-Inserts

Last part, cuz I've hit Tumblr's image limit, grrr! Something I almost never see anyone talk about wrt Anne Rice & LDPDL is how much alcoholism was a major inspo for her vampires. Sure, on the surface one can easily say: Lord Byron was an alcoholic bisexual depressed pretty boy drug addict etc etc too. But for AR, vamps are the Embodiment of Thirst (famously levied against book!Armand), and a large part of Louis' morose depression stems from his fighting his cravings for drink--alcohol as a human & blood as a vampire; following AR's experiences with her own alcoholic mother, whose "helplessness and need [for alcohol] echoed in Louis' mannerisms: guilt, insecurity, helplessness, a sense of isolation and secrecy, low self-esteem over-reaction to criticism, and intense sadness."

Everyone on the anti-Femme!Louis side is always quick to dismiss the AR evidence as irrelevant cuz Lestat was AR's self-insert, too~~! Sure, ALL characters that authors write are to some degree a self-insert, or based on different facets of themselves. But Louis is THE Titular Vampire, and the one she originally framed TVC's narrative around, to focus on Claudia's relationship/impact on him. His depression is HERS for losing her child and resenting her husband, and her MOTHER'S for her alcoholism. And I already discussed gendered Gothic Victorian depression/melancholy/mental illness wrt Louis/Ellen here.

Evidence has been provided from Jacob Anderson, the showrunners, and even Anne Rice herself about the femme-coded dynamics, motifs & influences used to create Black!LDPDL as AMC's racebent gay Black take on Anne Rice's originally bisexual Caucasian 19th century book/film character; but this is usually conveniently downplayed or outright dismissed by those who insist on seeing Louis as a perpetuation of the racist Black stereotype of the hyper-aggressive sexually dominant hyper-masculine threat to white/female innocence--a la his portrayal in the Theatre of Vampires' smear campaign of a Trial in 2x7, which was specifically designed to sentence him and his Black daughter Claudia to death for their "crimes" against the white male co-lead Lestat de Lioncourt.

As a femme!Louis Truther, I've been increasingly agitated by the gross inequity of the fandom's ready & willing acceptance of all the parts of Lestat that are femme-coded, and the otherwise blatant & willful ignorance of Louis' in kind. Lestat, the campy fan-favorite, is more popularly accepted in the feminine role, largely on account of his being their Maker, his aesthetic appeal to white feminine norms: his long-haired blondeness, and especially his exaggerated mannerisms; which are seen as feminine by modern audiences, but are actually a gender subversion in and of itself, as a hallmark of masculine ideals in 18th/19th century Europe--a historical fact that somehow never factors into how Lestat is analyzed by his fans (even the ones who hold media literacy and nuances about 19th century Gothic contexts oh-so-sacred). Instead, they fail to see past his epidermal layers to get to the substrata of his character/behavioral dynamics vis a vis that of his Black counterpart Louis.

It ticks me off something fierce, cuz I see it for what it is: RACISM--the inability of white people to see Black!Louis as a vehicle by which he can be related to on a (white)feminine level, let alone in classically heteronormative predominately white Gothic Horror or Gothic Romance that demonizes The Other: monsters, gays & Black people alike. AMC!Louis never stood a chance with y'all bigots; but y'all hide behind media literacy & white!feminism rather than just speaking your biases with your whole chest.

#interview with the vampire #nosferatu 2024 #louis de pointe du lac #racism #racial inequality #justice for claudia #loustat #loumand #gender inequality #gothic horror #get out #antebellum #iwtv tvc metas #anne rice #vampires #read a dang history book #democracy of hypocrisy #louis de pointe du black

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jesterwriting · 1 year ago

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empty inbox ya say? Don't mind if I show up!

So, I am a lover of the grumpy x sunshine kinda trope, but I want to hear your thoughts of crocodile having an caotic partner? Always having some kind of prank or stupid joke, just to see crocodile crack a smirk or something, but no matter how much they try, they always fail to so. So, after one day that the little sunshine tried so hard of trying they just pout around croc, and he just to try to cheer up his darling just a little, try to crack one of his own stupid joke just to see them laugh a little and go back into being his sunshine

(if you are not comfortable/don't find the prompt as entertaining, you can skip it tho, okay?)

pairing: crocodile x gn!reader

contents: established relationship, fluff, bad jokes, sunshine!reader, crocodile and his soft spot for you, he acts annoyed but hes entirely smitten i promise

word count: 1.1k words

note: OMG this was such a cute idea!! grumpy x sunshine is one of the best tropes ever, im such a sucker for it. im not particularly good at writing chaotic reader, though i definitely tried to make them quite silly. thank you so much for your request anon <33

playlist: dance the night by dua lipa

To an outsider, your relationship with Crocodile could, very easily, be one of the most confounding relationships one had ever seen. Of course, there had been more ill fitting partnerships out there, but you and Crocodile were close runners up. He was a large, intimidating man, with a harsh expression, and an even harsher tone. When he was displeased, his words alone were enough to rip apart an idiot’s flimsy confidence. Crocodile was a man of wealth and status. The only thing that ran deeper than the promise of violence, was the sand he was made of.

You, on the other hand, were the exact opposite. Bright and full of sunshine, you practically glowed against Crocodile’s side. With a smile so wide, it almost hurt to look at you. There was a softness to you that was absent in Crocodile. There had been more than one occasion where you were seen helping a wayward insect back outside, cupped gently against your palm, or offering directions to a lost couple who ran off in terror when your infamous husband approached. The crowd watched in horror when you scolded him with an elbow to the ribs. Crocodile did nothing but roll his eyes.

When you weren’t helping the lost, with your terrifying husband looming over your shoulder, you were a whirlwind of chaos. Prank after prank on unsuspecting visitors to the casino were done in your name. Nothing too egregious, you never aimed to harm, all you wanted was to make people laugh. A task you succeeded in, at least when you were alone. Crocodile’s unamused expression as he carted you away, laughing uproariously, did little for the mood.

It was only in the privacy of your shared abode did those pranks find a target in Crocodile. You respected your husband’s boundaries. Not once did you consider making a fool of him in public — not that it was your intention, you simply knew Crocodile well enough to know that was how he would take it — nor did you even consider any pranks that involved water. It was a damn shame. A bucket of water over the door was truly the prank of all time. Just imagining Crocodile, soaked to the bone, cigar wet and limp against his lips as he stared at you with such crushing annoyance, was enough to make you snicker out loud.

However funny it may be, your bits weren’t worth losing Crocodile’s trust. Such a thing was a rare gift from your husband, very few people alive had the honor to receive it. With a hint of pride, you considered the possibility that you were the only person alive to say that Crocodile felt safe enough to confide in them. Boy, if that didn’t make your heart absolutely swell.

Your only regret was, no matter how many jokes you played, you never got Crocodile to crack a smile. Even when you covered his desk with sticky notes — “Y/N, you realize you’re cleaning this up.” — or that stupid crank call you did a few weeks ago — “No, my refrigerator is not running, don’t call this number again.” — were not enough to get the barest huff of a laugh.

That was how you found yourself in Crocodile’s office, hanging upside down in the chair in front of his desk. It was normally reserved for when he had a private meeting, but today he was stuck doing paperwork. It was silent, save for the scribble of his pen against top secret documents you weren’t supposed to see, but would be able to look at with a single ‘please.’

“C’mon, you think I’m funny.”

Crocodile didn’t look up from his work as he responded, “I think you’re foolish.”

“Yeah, but I’m your fool.” Flipping around in your chair, you swung your legs over one arm and hung your head off the other. Boredom was not an uncommon foe during quiet afternoons with Crocodile. You needed near constant stimulation to keep yourself in check, and for all the reasons you loved him, Crocodile did, in fact, have a massive stick up his ass. “You’re a king and I’m your jingling little fool. Let me tell you a joke.”

Crocodile grumbled under his breath, but he didn’t tell you to stop. With a grin, you said, “Why did the egg hide?”

With a sigh, he dropped his pen to run a hand through his hair. “Why did the egg hide, Y/N?”

Patting a drumroll against your thighs, you paused for dramatic effect. Seconds passed in silence, save for your palms’ rhythmic song against your thighs, Crocodile’s eyebrows furrowing deeper and deeper the longer you continued. Finally, you blurted,

“It was a little chicken!”

Crickets. Your husband didn’t even spare you a response before his pen was in his hand again, signing who knew what. With a roll of your eyes, you flopped from the chair and onto the floor. The carpet was soft against your palms.

“Okay, that was bad, but you could have at least said something.”

“You’re going to have to say something funny to get a response out of me,” Crocodile rumbled, not even bothering to glance at you while you laid on the floor.

This sucked. You could make everyone laugh, all except for the one who mattered to you the most. A part of you wondered why you didn’t give up. You were sure you were being at least a little annoying — though the smaller voice in your head reminded you that Crocodile was one to request time alone when he was in a bad mood.

“Fine. No more jokes, spoilsport.”

No response. Fine then, at least the floor was comfortable.

For the next twenty minutes, you kept yourself busy by counting ceiling tiles, or by fighting the urge to reach under Crocodile’s desk and steal his shoes. No more pranks, remember, you told yourself. Not until you stopped feeling like a big ol’ pile of poo, at least.

“How do you make a plumber cry?” Crocodile’s voice surprised you after going so long without hearing it. (It’d been thirty minutes, maximum, though it felt like an eternity)

You wet your lips before you responded, already feeling a giggle bubbling in your chest. “How?”

“Kill his family.”

You burst out laughing. Curling your fingers against the edge of the desk, you popped your head into his view, positively beaming. While Crocodile was never one for grandiose displays of emotion, he graced you with one of his rare, honest smiles.

“That’s more like it, doll.”

#one piece x reader #crocodile x reader #sir crocodile x reader #sir crocodile x yn #sir crocodile x you #crocodile x yn #crocodile x you #.jesterwrites #if you look closely you can see the exact point i had to fight to not call yn crocodiles silly little jester

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