#point one hides point two
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Edwin's magic ???
Odd thing about Edwinâs magic use is, youâd sort of think heâd be better at it?
Very smart and studious, probably at this for twenty years or more but still gets the books out for each spell? We do stan a careful wielder of supernatural fuckery but âgestures towards the catsâ he is not that.
So, what if he is better than he seems?
What if the first spells he learnt were in Hell, and they are cruel. They are unavoidably cruel.
And he got out and met Charles.
Charles is good. Charles is kind. Charles literally died trying to stop a hate crime. Charles would surely be shocked and destressed were Edwin to use such unnecessarily cruel spells. So Edwin does not use those spells. He can learn others. He will learn others.
But it turns out overwriting the first magic you learnt is more difficult than that. He studies and he practices and still the first spell in mind is always from Hell. It is the fire that burns souls or the ice that forms inside skin or the bindings made of thorns. It is the cruel spell.
It would upset Charles, if Edwin were cruel. And Charles has the Bag, they can bring the books. He does not have to be cruel so he wonât be. And if that means checking every spell and its context before using it so be it. That can be done. There is no need to distress Charles.
(Charles would take his best mate slapping problems with a horrifically painful hogtie over Edwin ever getting hurt any day. But Edwin doesnât ask.)
Maybe after Port Townsend Edwin finds that he can use the painless binding spell. Maybe a reset from Hell, or a side effect of the Cat Kingâs binding, or even Ester using it on him even if she made it cruel. Maybe he gets one bit of magic that can be gentle.
But maybe, one day, someone makes the mistake of taking Charles.
Charles cannot be distressed if he is not here, or whole, or well enough to notice what magic Edwin has cast. And then it is discovered that Edwin Payne is really rather good at magic.
Much to his distress.
#edwin payne#you can fit so many horrors in this bad boy#charles rowland#basicly one of those very smat herding dogs#very smart#full of love#point one hides point two#screw up the socialisation enough and they might do anything#except to their Person#which was Edwin for 30 years#he's willing to cut some slack#Edwin can enact the horrors#if he needs to#shouldn't have messed with Charles' Edwin#at some point Crystal finds out#magic lessons plus psykic powers equals fixing this shit#Edwin cries#and then Crystal cries#they never speak of it again
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can you even call it a warm up if I'm going to bed without drawing anything big
and a sketch I made while sitting in the park today
#sketch#my art#bnha#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#all for one#midoriya izuku#bnha manga spoilers#only after I finished basically polishing this sketch did I notice how it's basically dark and light mode#also the first one is basically a redraw of illustration from vol 11#I know that translation of Tenko's words is different in official but eh#fanart#I've kind of recovered from recent chapters#and I was analysing those chapters all morning#I'm still thinking but otherwise the chapters are so good#also did you notice that AFO actually talked about how his other him didn't use that 'last thing' yet and that was in ch 410#and in ch 419 he did so it's real and it's still sad#but still AFO was never hiding it enough#from Tomura maybe but we as readers actually saw his plans play out#in any case I'm still just sitting with those two Izuku and Tenko interaction chapters#I waited long enough#and if you don't count AFO's return Izuku DID save Tenko and it's so interesting#since he now has to save his OTHER origin that was in ch 237 taught to kill whatever he wants#Tenko and Tomura both had 'origins' chapters and for now we only worked with 235 and 236#and even if Izuku helped with the start of 237 there's still AFO#in any case it was a hard week#also the second thing actually had them holding hands#and then I was like 'but at that point Izuku's hands are gone oh no'#and it was just Tenko holding air where the hand was destroyed#in any case that scene.
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re last reblog I do see fanfic culture pushing/replicating a certain model of "what trauma looks like," "how trauma works"
this is a problem across all areas of society obviously, but transformative works are, well, transformative. they're about crafting and modifying narratives where the fan-creator sees a flaw or a lack -- often for the better! don't get me wrong, I've done my fair share of "I take a hammer and I fix the canon," it's the main thing that gets my creative gears spinning -- but what happens when that "flaw" is simply a narrative not conforming to popular expectations?
some people just don't get PTSD from events that sound obviously traumatic. they're not masking, and they're not coping; they just straight-up didn't get the permanently-locked stress-response that defines PTSD. they walk away from a horrible experience going "well, that sucked, but it's over now." some people do get PTSD from events most people wouldn't find traumatic. we don't really know why some people get PTSD and others don't. but fandom has an idea of events that must be traumatizing, of a "correct" way to portray trauma. you see the problems with this lack of understanding in e.g. fans pressuring the devs of Baldur's Gate 3 to add dialogue where the player character badgers Halsin about his own feelings on his abuse -- because he must be traumatized, and his trauma must fit a certain mold and presentation of sexual trauma, under the mistaken impression that anything outside that narrow window is somehow "wrong" and disrespectful or even harmful to survivors.
take, for another example, the very common trope of a traumatized character who hates touch or sex "learning" to like touch or sex as a part of their healing process. certainly that can be healing for some people; other people will never like, or want, touch or sex, because of trauma or because they just don't. the assumption that someone who doesn't want sex or doesn't like to be touched must be traumatized, must be suffering from this perceived lack, is seriously harmful -- to asexual people, to people with sensory issues around touch, and to people for whom healing from trauma means freedom to refuse sex or touch.
and there's a secondary trope, one that's slightly more thoughtful but ultimately repeats the problem -- that once someone has learned that their boundaries will be respected, they'll feel it's safe to soften those boundaries. once they feel safe refusing touch or sex, they'll feel comfortable allowing it on their own terms. but many people don't, and many people won't! many people will simply never want to be touched, and never want sex, and they are not suffering or broken or lacking because of it. the idea that proving you'll respect someone's boundaries entitles you to test those boundaries -- the paradox is obvious, and yet this is something i've seen hurt (re-traumatize) people i care for.
people are imperfect victims. people don't heal in the ways you expect. many people have positive memories of their abuse, of their abusers. many people hurt others in the course of their trauma, in ways that can't easily be unpacked in a 5k oneshot. very few narratives of trauma and recovery actually fit the ones put forward by popular children's media and romance novels -- which are the ones I most see replicated in fandom spaces, because they provide the clearest narrative and easiest catharsis, and so they're easy and soothing to reach for.
that's not necessarily a bad thing! i am not immune to goopy romance tropes. i am not immune to teary catharsis. not every fic has to grapple with ugly realities. but there's a problem when these narratives become predominant, when people think they're accurate and realistic depictions of trauma, when the truth of trauma is unpleasant and uncomfortable, and doesn't fit any single narrative, let alone one of comforting catharsis
#bird original#see also: the murderbot diaries#murderbot does not like to be touched. murderbot does not like touching other people#physical contact is an unpleasant necessity in emergencies or to feign being human (something murderbot also hates)#at one point murderbot uncomfortably offers a hug to someone it cares for because she's upset and needs one --#and she refuses. because she knows it doesn't really want to; she won't ask it to do something it hates for her benefit#& yet murderbot fic often has it learning that touch ~isn't so bad~ and maybe there are a COUPLE people it likes to cuddle with.#the differences between vash in the original trigun anime and trigun stampede --#tristamp!vash is your woobie who hides his sad and traumatized heart under goofy behavior;#who copes and avoids through silly indulgences#2011!vash ... is not that#2011!vash isn't coping or masking. he feels immense grief yes; he also feels immense joy; the two are inseparable#he pursues joy moment to moment because he knows how fleeting each moment is#he loves people so intensely because he knows that he'll lose them -- so he has no time to waste with them#his grief is real and profound; so is his joy#i find that much more compelling and i feel like that's not a character i'd see in today's media environment#anyway#fandom#trauma#fanfic#throwing a golden apple into the tags with this but fuck it we ball
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Now that Critical Role's VOD of episode 120 is out and everyone in the fandom's had a moment to breathe, simmer, and adjust to this all. I wanna do a big talk about my favourite idiot punk rock, Ashton Greymoore.
Because over these last few episodes, I've been so proud of them.
Many people have had vocal opinions on Ashton, not all of them positive either; I've seen many berate them and say they're selfish, not a team player, or that they 'don't add anything to the group'. But over the past few episodes, I feel like Ashton has been an unsung hero in the battles with Ludinus and Predathos, with their contributions, oftentimes selfless and cooperative, ending up providing the floor for others to deliver strong and impactful actions.
While Dorian and Imogen will rightfully get the lion's share of praise for their clutch moments - Dorian's Force Cage on Ludinus saving Liliana and defeating Predathos' first stage alongside Imogen's Power Word: Stun setting up Ludinus' death and defeating Predathos' second stage - Ashton's actions were often the prelude to moments that could not have succeeded without them, including these clutch moments. Their attack on Ludinus in 117 prompted the Silvery Barbs that burned up his reaction - which allowed Dorian to successfully use Force Cage without being Counterspelled, their high-damage attack on his neck hole in 118 broke Ludinus' concentration on Ravenous Void - which somehow later got credited to Chetney - which gave Imogen the freedom and mobility to get in range for Power Word: Stun, they got the Insight check whisper on Predathogen in 119 to know that Imogen was physically inside of the body and needed to be pried out - which Imogen achieved herself thanks in part to Fearne reaching her, and recently in 120 they pulled Imogen out of Predathos' maw, abandoning the Hammer synonymous with their character (to the point that Keyleth titled them the 'Paradox Hammer') to prioritize saving their friend, which - following Dorian's healing - gave her the chance to use the Ring of Remembrance for the finishing Meteor Swarm. Not to mention all the other damage they dealt and tanked throughout the four fights, the passive d4 bonuses and advantage they gave the party (almost acting partly as a secondary paladin or a tertiary bard) to buff their damage and saving throws, and accepting the risk of disintegration when Laudna used their Hammer's spell splitter - which forced Predathos to use its final Legendary Resistance.
The Disintegrate moment itself was tense because we all know that Ashton is high among the Hells who would sacrifice themselves to save the group - a mentality most of the Hells likely shared in this fight - but fortunately they don't have to, they'll never have to, and they gained something just as if not more valuable than a heroic sacrifice: they get to live. The person who before meeting these chucklefucks believed they'd likely die face-down in a ditch in some backwater alley and thrown into an unmarked grave AT BEST gets to live, and the people that mean most to them get to live thanks to their efforts, their successes. And that's the most important part; for all the times they couldn't help or save someone because they were unconscious or out of reach, for all the times they let their imposter syndrome tell them they're just a fuckup undeserving of trust, praise, or love, and for every fear they had that one day they'd mess up and this new family of theirs will abandon them like the Nobodies did, this time they were there standing beside their people to the very end - and they helped get them out alive. No mistakes, no carelessness, and no-one left behind.
For that, I am proud of Ashton Greymoore; not Bells Hells' Weapon but their Helm, not a Blunt Instrument but a Protector, and not a Hero who needs to do 'what needs to be done' but a Friend who is saving their people no matter the odds. Under all the hardened and rugged exterior that has always been who Ashton is - the perfectly flawed character they are.
#*slams fist* SAVIOUR OF THE BROKEN THE BEATEN AND THE DAMNED!#And it's not to say that Ashton's the only one that deserves credit because they all do but I'm giving Ashton their flowers now#and yeah they're still an idiot punk rock but they keep getting to remake themselves and I'm happy for them#they still represent the philosophy associated with kintsugi - wabi-sabi: the beauty of the imperfect impermanent and incomplete#*slams fist again* you can't hide the cracks but you can embrace the repairs#they were so beaten up from these fights but nothing rings truer for Ashton than 'the body breaks but the soul refuses to die'#also by helm I mean like a helmsman not a helmet just fyi - they help steer BH; line up the enemies so the others can knock them down#I am proud of all the Hells too...mostly - Braius still needs to regain their trust - but everyone did their part to keep everyone alive#We all know that Tal has - or at least puts on - a level of detachment with their PCs in case they die but I'm so relieved they didn't#Ashley was relieved too - just pointing it out there for Fearne 'I have Silvery Barbs from Rogue to save my rock' Calloway#you two have weird mushrooms to enjoy - also like the rest of your lives together#Still wish we got a Titan combo but I'll take them all surviving over seeing it and them dying#Seeing them set up Imogen for a clutch spell twice reminds me how underrated their bond is; which pairs with their sibling bond with Laudna#There's still the matter of Vassalheim and the Gods ofc but this is not the first firing squad BH has stood before this campaign#but I do feel like the fighting needs to be over for the campaign - as in no more combat - lest it devalues Predathos as a final boss#Ludie2/Twodinus is still out there though ÂŹ_ÂŹ maybe he'll be a one shot returner like Delilah Trent and Uk'otoa (Uk'otoaaa)#I do hope the collapse of the core doesn't fully destroy Ruidus either - Gaz Tomo the Myceit and the Bormodo kinda live there#we also need to know what happened to Fy'ra Morrighan Deanna FRIDA Prism and Deni$e - where are they? Did they fight?#*slams fist a third time for no reason* my hand hurts now#critical role#cr spoilers#c3e120#ashton greymoore#bells hells#ludinus da'leth#imogen temult#laudna#predathos#dorian storm
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Made a FANTASTIC discovery today regarding the meaning behind Boothill's fourth eidolon, I'm so happy!!! Most of it is just cowboy references, like
Eidolon 1: Dusty Trail's Lone Star- cowboy lingo, the Lone Star of Texas
Eidolon 2: Milestonemonger- more cowboy lingo, someone who roams and wanders
Eidolon 3: Marble Orchard's Guard- yet more cowboy lingo, a term for a graveyard (a fave of mine, because for me it evokes the image of a Church Grim <333)
Eidolon 4: Cold Cuts Chef- ????
Google didn't really provide much on Eidolon 4 like for the first three. Before today I had assumed it was just another movie reference of some sort, since Boothill is like entirely based on/inspired by old Western films.
"Cold cuts" are basically lunch meat/deli meat. It's precooked meat that doesn't need any kind of preparation- you can literally just eat it cold. Since it didn't seem to be a movie reference, I thought oh, maybe it's a nod to his lifestyle? Boothill is unhoused and lives on the run from the IPC with little rest, he doesn't really have the means to cook. Precooked, easy food like that would be a godsend for someone in his circumstances.
Anyway the original Chinese text gives it an entirely different, MUCH wilder meaning fjadskljfkld
love how they chose "celebrity chef" to show his expertise and/or fame in this fjkdlsja
Because no, "cold cuts" isn't cowboy lingo for anything, but cold meat specifically is.
It's how you refer to a corpse.
"Cold Cuts Chef" is not a title talking about his cooking ability, or his life's circumstances, or anything as mundane as that, IT'S ABOUT THE FACT THAT BOOTHILL SPECIALIZES IN DEALING DEATH, THIS MAN IS EXTREMELY SKILLED, AND GOOD AT WHAT HE DOES, AND WHAT HE DOES IS MURDER!!!!!
#AND I LOVE THAT FOR HIM!!!!!!#*dreamy sigh* there is so much blood on his hands#I love morally dubious men <3#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai star rail boothill#hsr boothill#boothill#I know this eidolon's title is not a reference to any form of cannibalism. I know that.#But GOD I hope that's an in-universe rumor that spreads about him through the lower ranks of the IPC grunts JFKDLASJDKLFJ#I think he would lean into it so hard. he would have so much fun with it.#Boothill is hiding in the shadows waiting for the right moment to strike. He's listening to these two grunts gossip about him.#'Wow did you hear about that crazy cowboy. I heard they found the bodies with pieces missing.' Boothill has the biggest grin.#'I heard one time they didn't find the bodies at ALL.' 'That's terrifying!' Boothill has to bite his scarf to keep from cackling.#He keeps telling himself no no he can't reveal himself yet he's waiting for the patrol switch he has a goal today!!#'Thank the Preservation this place is safe. I wouldn't wanna be off-planet with a scary guy like that wandering around-#-especially if he really is eating people.' 'Surely that's not true though right? ...Right?'#Well. Look the point is he held out as long as he could ok.#And unable to resist the temptation any longer Boothill melts out of the shadows from behind them#right in between the two of them#and his voice is practically right in their ears as he tells them#'What'd ya think I got the teeth for?'#run boys run KFLAJKLFDJSKLFJDKLSJFDK
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Sasha using the title "Lord" in RiAAU after taking over Toad Tower and presumably killing Grime and stealing Barrel's Warhammer from him, and other political and military leaders assuming she's a man because, well, Sasha is a gender neutral name, so they hear Lord Sasha and assume they're talking about an adult male toad warrior. The second most powerful person in the known world and only real threat to the Leviathan reign!
Cue princess Marcy fleeing Newtopia and her father seeking refuge with his worst enemy hoping to offer information and political levarage in exchange for protection, perhaps even offering herself in marriage to transfer eventual inheritances and whatnot, and she finds out that Lord Sasha is not, indeed, a dark and domineering toad warlord, but a beautiful, terrifying girl her age that looks like her and oh god her poor little lesbian heart can barely take it.
#amphibia#sasharcy#marcy wu#sasha waybright#my posts#raised in amphibia au#sasha and marcy are over here living in game of thrones while#anne is playing stardew valley with a mod that gives you ptds#Sasha being mistaken(? as a man being a common misunderstanding due to poor communication to the point potential allies don't believe her#unless she's carrying the hammer around herself#lord sasha with her two wives... nnhnhnn... one representing her alliance with the frogs of frog valley and possibly beyond depending on ho#she and her grandfather (current mayor of wartwood) play their cards#and the other in her sansa stark era (horrible violations of bodily autonomy involved) (not by sasha btw) trying to maintain alliances#with noble newt houses after betraying her father and eloping with the enemy#after learning The Truth^TM (which she's conveniently hiding from everyone else except maybe olivia and that's a big maybe)#cue some nice toad civil wars (the eastern and northern tower may support sasha but despite their less than friendly relationship#beatrix will NOT recognize this magical alien's victory over her dead brother. and my friend beatrix is not to be messed with)#anne having lots of self worth issues after her very morally questionable grandfather married her off to sasha for political reasons#marcy having. uh. green blood. and a weird metalic port in the back of her neck. her brain feels tingly when she touches it#and king andrias desperately fighting to crush this little frog valley rebellion and punish those to blame for the abduction of his daughte#edit: i meant ptsd. anne has ptsd from that time she may or may not have accidentally indirectly caused the death of sprig and polly's#parents at age 8 (they were her parents for 4 years. the only parents she remembers. she hasn't forgiven herself and deep down#neither has hop pop but we don't talk about it)
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Judging from these panels, would it mean that there's no other yorishima exorcist that's still alive (since natori said that the yorishima family "was once" a big name, past tense) in the canon timeline, and that the yorishima we know probably ended his family's exorcism business for good by retiring himself? If so, was the reason tied to the youkai living in his left arm, or is there another cause? And when exactly did he retireâ was it before or during seiji and shuuichi's high school days, which was why his left arm appeared with the thick bandages when he gave them the loquats in the anime, but he still lived in the estate during that time, or was it after the two became legal adults, which lined up somewhat with him moving into his forest home, abandoning his family estate in favor of living in isolation?
And, speaking of retirement, I wonder if we'll ever know why midorikawa told us that the takis were "famous" (which presumedly meant they were strong enough to be well-known) as occult diviners, since tooru herself only ever mentioned what their previous family business entails, and never about their status in the exorcism community? We don't really need this extra bit if she wanted to further establish how tooru has an aptitude for spell-casting, either. Again, there's another "strong" family (whose members are still alive in canon) that went into retirement, but did the taki family lost their power because the ability to see (if they were needed for diviners) disappeared for at least the last three generations (if we assumed that tooru and isamu's parents couldn't see youkai too), or was it due to another reason? How close was shinichiro (tooru and isamu's grandpa) to the matobas that even the current clan head came to pay his respects during his sixth death anniversary; was his relationship with seiji's father strictly resolved around exorcism business, or was anything else involved? Does tooru herself doesn't fully understand the prowess her family once had, hence why seiji was the one who told takashi (and us readers) about it? What would this tiny bit of lore mean for tooru with it revealed this late into the manga, when tooru herself only talked sparsely about her ancestors in previous chapters?
#i know that lore and power systems aren't the main points of natsuyuu but i am one overly-curious human being who is attracted to them đ#i'm probably reaching with all of these questions that will likely have little answers in the future but still they plague me during reread#like. where are yorishima's relatives. what happened to this family that they all vacated their main estate. is the yorishima we know the#only one left alive hence why he can swiftly make the call to end his family business and hide in isolation within the safety of his forest#are the matobas and takis close enough that seiji likely visited for shinichiro's previous death anniversaries too?#why would the matobas still maintain a âdead relationshipâ since both seiji's dad and shinichiro has long passed away in canon while tooru#likely has minimal grasp on the divination stuff if they ever needed to use them? how did these two families know e/o in the first place?#i'm forcing myself to stop yapping now or else the whole tags of this post will be filled with unanswered questions lmao đđ€#feel free to interact if this interests you too... i just have too many questions each time i reread any lore-packed chapter so... voila!#natsume yuujinchou#natsuyuu#natsume's book of friends#natsume takashi#yorishima#natori shuuichi#taki tooru#matoba seiji#taki shinichiro#natsuyuu manga
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im so fucking mad. why did i work so hard on this. there isnt even a single gay bitch in this image all i have is latticework and osmanthus studies
#arts#mottau#i mean i did enjoy drawing it. but also what the fuck#this is even sy's actual room yet this is a concept design for a room he will get later#like this is vaguely something i started drawing to conceptualize certain aspects of omega room design in this setting#but like at this point i could have explained more in three regular sentences#due to the potency of an omega's scent particularly in their living quarters certain aspects of their rooms are specially tailored#to contain their scent to the more personal parts of their living space. one could think of it as degrees of intimacy#with their bed area being the place their scent is allowed to fully saturate the space. the room divider here encloses the furniture needed#for dressing and whatnot as well for similar reasons and the curtain falling over it mimicking the canopy of the bed serves two functions#partially trapping in the scent and also adding an additional layer of 'hiding' to the nest area which makes it feel more secure#see? three sentences. that took five minutes to explain#i mean certainly the art looks niceys and all but im just so fucking perplexed. why did i do that
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Go work off that debt Xie Lian! ....with an extra babysitting job.
Meme template for y'all under the cut + examples I made.
Anyway hopefully next episodes won't take too long. The thing is. The Ghost Groom arc is a lot longer than I remember. I'm still racking my brain over how the hell I'm gonna summarize it because I am not going every single instance
#poorly drawn tgcf#tgcf#xie lian#mu qing#feng xin#ling wen#Sorry if you didn't know fu yao and nan feng are just fx and mq in disguise#it's painfully obvious these two really only have a single braincell huh#even XL knows almost for certain from the get go but just played along with them#naturally in typical XL fashion he does not tell you this fact until like#book 7 or something. XL honey Ily but you're a little shit#guoshi must have gotten his white hair from raising both the lil shit that is XL and JW#rejoice soon hc will make his first (gay panic) appearance#dw LW and SQH (if u see him u get a cookie) will form a union at some point as they should#I continue to hide silly cameos from the other books in this#congrats to everyone who correctly identified Jiang Cheng in the last one LMAO#He isn't the only one though! there is a svsss character cameo in ep 1 as well#If anyone identifies it correctly and comments or tags it#I'll make a lil extra doodle#inconsistent artstyle??? more likely than you think#I hope I can make it a lil more appealing#idk it just doesnt click with me yet but we'll see#I mainly took inspiration from the manhua designs for MQ and FX#and then complitely pulled the colors out of my arse lmfao
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FEAR and LOVE (I'm not sure there is a difference!)
#bill cipher#gravity falls#the book of bill#this is not a website dot com#what's the point of bill being able to clone himself if i don't get to use it for symbolism#i'm normal about him i am dissecting him like a bug#some of the colour code is obscured but by that point it can be figured out with context as a passage from the book#given not everyone has access to the book/a transcript etc. i'll hide the translation in the tags#prismatic canvas#eyestrain#glitch#just in case#okay so. two of the ciphers are from the patient file from the website under well well well being:#âgreatest love: himselfâ at the very top in colour code and âgreatest fear: himselfâ at the bottom in the theraprism cipher#the rest is from the plan page from the book of bill:#You wanted your life to have meaning â this is it!#YOURE IN IT WITH ME RIDE OR DIE FOR THE ULTIMATE PRIZE#EVERYONE WILL FEAR YOU!#YOUâLL EVEN FEAR YOURSELF!#AND UNLIKE THAT BACKSTABBER SIXER YOU WONâT BACK DOWN WHEN THE KITCHEN GETS HOT#RIGHT RIGHT#I ONLY HAVE ONE QUESTION#ARE YOU WITH ME?
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I seriously can't stop thinking about it.
#The layers upon layers man#Spoilers from now on sorry#The fact that starts and ends with the killing of two queer guys by the law (thank you Tumblr user @thomaskong I'm kms)#The fact that there were no villains nor heroes#Is Mo a victim? Is it Thongkam? Is it Saeng? Is it Sek? Is all of them?#Does being a victim of awful systems erases the guilt of their individual actions? At what point does their anger stop being justified?#It's greed what drives the characters? It's love? It's hate? It's ego? It's the hope for a better future and a desire to reclaim what one's#Owned. But what is that? Things born out of lies lay death at the end. No one keeps the house. No one keeps the farm#Jingna wish was fulfilled. They stopped fighting. Jingna wish was impossible.#If at any point they would've simply stopped and offered each other compassion none of this would've happened.#But even when they do the laws and systems that hold them down are there#An old disabled woman who's murder no one will investigate because she's not rich. A poor woman that has almost no options left because#She didn't complete school (no papers no formal education no way to gain money beyond what she was left with). A gay guy who lost everything#He put his work into. Everything was taken out of his hands again and again because he had no legal power over any of it#The scene where he's so desperate he screams at the doctor they just had sex willing to show everyone just to let him keep Sek alive#The scene at the end whefe both lost their minds and any reason leaves them. Hate taking over. An innocent guy dead#He was going to rape her and she was going to kill him. And they stopped but there was never a coming back from any of that#What's your relationship with the family? He was their everything. He meant nothing to them. Nothing at all#Sek is. So complex yet so simple. We only get to know him through the small moments our protagonists remember#Yet he's the cataclysm and the conclusion. Everything goes back to him and yet he had to die for the story to start#The visuals. The metaphors. How a fruit can have so much value. Something so small yet so meaningful. Full of Thorns#Hiding the sweetness and humanity. I'm going to kill myself#Properly watching#Properly watching The Paradise of Thorns with Benka#the paradise of thorns#Paradise of Thorns#I have to Make A Post
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Time traveler: *sneezes*
Chapter 62:
#ekuoto#Mr. priest has only one card#Vir has two so hes playing all or nothing#Imuri is hiding cards and Leah may or not be trying to peck#No one knows how Barbara got all of those#Manon is just filming tiktoks at this point#Erskine somehow missed his turn 3 times#Cyril was playing for both of them but then they wen't to get drinks and never came back#Turns out Becu also had one card and forgot to say anything
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Still no craft updates on account of I feel Bad* but I did get like half a beanie crocheted this weekend? I also have a bat that's haunting me. In that there's a bat design I desperately want to turn into a plushie not in that I am being literally haunted by a bat. As far as I know I am not haunted by a bat but to be fair I'm not confident I'd know? *my heart rate got high enough that made me cough but my asthma was flaring up enough that cough launched me into an asthma attack, which raised my heart rate even more, so basically I used my emergency inhaler and then was on the floor for a while. Feels bad! Do not recommend. I'm okay though just tired
#the person behind the yarn#the reason my heart rate got that high is that my pulse pressure was very narrow#which is. you know. bad.#so I finally gave in and took an extra dose of my meds (as my doctor has advised in the past)#what is probably happening is that I reached the point of stressed where my body couldn't cope#(I'm on long term steroids so I need stress doses if I get too stressed)#but! because acute stress can trigger an allergic reaction (yay MCAS) I tend to kinda...shunt stress off to the side#and come back to process it when it's less like. urgent? immediate?#when it no longer feels like it will trigger an MCAS flareup if I acknowledge the feeling exists#and I do go back and process those emotions! I just have to get a little distance first#and the work stress lately has been so unrelenting (combined with the like...general world news stress)#that I have been ignoring my own stress levels so hard I genuinely did not think I was stressed#or that I needed a stress dose of my meds but uh. I was wrong!#I was wrong. Good news is now that I know I should be good in a day or two#doc said three days for stress doses and today was day one#bad news is narrow pulse pressure combined with asthma attack feels Very Bad!#very bad indeed took me like 20-30 minutes and two different kinds of medication before I could talk normally#without having to pause and catch my breath midsentence#every time I start thinking 'you know maybe I'm not really disabled maybe my health stuff is under control'#it pops up like a jack in the box like surprise! it's the same thing again still here! the meds just hide it most of the time#but it's still there :) lurking :) when I least expect it :)#...I think I might buy myself another sticker or two. something to look forward to coming in the mail
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finally caved and started reading all for the game. two chapters into the foxhole court and what kind of gay fucking shit is this! also did not know there were sports in here
#idk whats going on i thought it was like the raven cycle with magic and shit its called the foxhole court??? no fae???? what the fuck!!!#and i cant understand whats happening with the sports. i didnt get it. i hope i dont need to i just know kevin is top dog of the bad dogs#neil is mid mid except hes got a death wish so they want him carnally???#ill be reading it super slowly bc im busy but i can feel it slowly turning up the heat on my brain cells as i read. they are burning.#ive got naught but ten#and neil's not neil but he is and he has a bag of secrets he's hiding in someone else's closet like okayyyy go off author fuck whats the#authors name.... nora sakavic FUCK I SHOULDVE KNOWN NEVER TO TRUST A WOMAN NAMED NORA#i dont know...i dont know.... but also the only gay neil i know is the one from dead poets society and its hard to separate the two rn#is the rest of the book going to be like this what did i get myself into. am i mentally prepared#bc i wasnt for trc and it FUCKED! ME! UP! im STILL insane#ugh. ugh. anyway. way gayer than expected. also at one point someone asks ''how safe is safe'' and MY DISAPPOINTMENT#when the answer wasnt safe as life? immeasurable. in fact i had to close the book. went to study accounting.#ACCOUNTING. HELLO?? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME IN HERE???#the tree speaks#all for the game#aftg#what are yalls tags?#neil josten#the raven cycle#trc
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the israeli doctor character in Emilia PĂ©rez: look lady, I don't know who your MR. MAN CLIENT DUDE is but all I do know is that he will never be a woman even if he gets all the surgeries from your little song that you just sang about, even if I do them all at once in one go at one time, literally the same day every single surgery.
Emilia Pérez's Lawyer, Zoë Saldaña: that's where you're wrong, HE will be a woman only after you agree to give HIM all the surgeries I just sang about at once in one go at one time. You will see HIM as a woman once you give HIM a mammoplasty (yas) rhinoplasty (yas) vaginoplasty (yas) laryngoplasty (yas) chondrolaryngoplasty (yas) all at once in one go at one time. Let HIM explain to you why HE will be a woman!
Emilia PĂ©rez (he/him): I murder thousands of people every year and you will be one of them.
the israeli doctor character in Jacques Audiard's film Emilia PĂ©rez: okay I will do it... I will give he/him all the surgeries. He will receive every single surgery he could possibly need in one day in one go, literally the same day every single surgery mentioned.
The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Science:
#this movie is INSANE on all basic logical fronts#at one point emelia perez - while still hiding her trans identity - before any gender affirming care - aka when karla was in prosthetics#shes like âi have secretly been taking hrt for two years seeâ and she unzips her jacket and shows Rita her tits.... but like#the face is not changed ???? karla is wearing prosthetic makeup to look like man in this scene so?#emilia perez#emilia PĂ©rez
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Ok, here's an Idea I've had:
U said you coded gravel back into the game right? Well, why not code one of lilacpaw's Siblings into the game! It would Cool to see!
(btw, this is just a suggestion!)
Coding a character in seems to me like a much more involved and complicated process that id rather not bother with at all, as opposed to literally just changing âdead: trueâ to âdead: falseâ in the games files. I really donât wanna bother lol
#aphidasks#also I only have two characters that are the alder x Titania x pigeon kids#sometimes itâs like you guys expect me to have an entourage of other characters that I havenât shown you yet#and I do have lots planned that you havenât seen yet!#but never in the areas you guys ask me about#and itâs like#âthereâs nothing there. thereâs only going to be vapid air there for the rest of timeâ#âIâm not hiding some new surprise over there and i really donât want to do all the work#of creating a whole ass new character and storyline around them#to fill the void youâre searching forâ#new characters will come when they come man idk#I donât have anything else to offer you guys in terms of throuple kittens#oleander and lilac are the only ones Iâve ever written and created#thereâs never gonna be any others in the comic#thatâs like#the one area I can confirm is a dead spot to search#thatâs all speaking in general itâs not pointed at you specifically right now for this ask#all this to circle back around to the actual ask itself: even if I did want to code in a character#I literally have nothing to code in so what is the point
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