#you can eat my ass

[feralnightwing]

that programming midterm..... ykw no im not gonna put myself down. i did pretty good for someone who had to catch up on 2 chapters in 1 night. but also wtf is a boolean operator

[prlssprfctn]

I am in mood to think about silly Bruce and Jason, thus, behold a scenario: when Bruce adopts Jason, he has some basic cooking skills, but they are not that great. He can survive, and that is pretty much. But then he sees Jason and Alfred bonding over cooking, seeing Jason's love language being food in general, and he wants also to be the better chief!

Alfred is still very territorial when it comes to his kitchen, so Jason is the exception. That is why Bruce starts sneaking out when Alfred sleeps to teach himself to cook better, and Jason eventually tags along.

(Alfred knows. He just pretends that he doesn't.)

But, anyway... First, Bruce's attempts to cook is... uh. Something else entirely. He instantly aims for huge, complex dishes, and that is a mistake as well. He is also a little bit delusional about his talent in cooking.

And Jason, his jury? His opinion is NOT objective in the slightest. Jason's taste buds are SHIT after all his childhood trauma, he eats up anything, and considering that Bruce cooks for him, he mentally considers this food to be even more tasty in his mind.

Bruce, proudly beaming: I think, I am getting closer to perfection every day, Al. Might as well soon cook for us three myself! Alfred, squinting: Is that so? Jason on the background, eating gods-know-what made by Bruce: Seconded! Alfred, sarcastic: Oh, I am shaking in the boots for my position on this kitchen.

Dick, coming home for holidays, kinda excited, because Bruce promised to cook for him: Uh... What is this? Alfred: Dinner made by your father. And approved by your brother. Dick: Is that a joke? Dick, glaring at Bruce and Jason eating on the background blissfully: ...Oh, fuck, it is not a joke. Alfred: I'll cover up for you. Throw this mess on the outer bin, and take the plate I had prepared for you. And put a dollar to the swear jar. Dick, sighing in relief: Thank you.

[bunnieswithknives]

Spent the last billion hours inventing fictional foods and brands for my OCs to enjoy

[xxplastic-cubexx]

How would you redesign Headmaster Magneto? Just out pf curiousity because while he served it didn’t feel like… Erik.

i have to keep it 100 i have no idea without just. rerunning his original design but with a palette swap LOL but we try around here

[dollypopup]

"Penelope should have chosen Debling!"

My sister in Christ. . .he literally dumped her???

Like just before Colin Bridgerton was on his knees after outrunning her carriage to profess how he can't stop thinking about her in his love me, choose me, I'm yours speech, Debling did the Regency equivalent of calling her a floozy who would undoubtedly cheat on him when he abandoned her for several years to chase his passions (because she would never be one of said passions since she asked outright if he could ever come to care for her and he went 'hmmmm seems unlikely! good thing you have solitary hobbies to occupy you instead!') when he has been given 0 evidence of such other than realizing she liked to look out the window because she had a crush on the boy across the street. I was ready to challenge that man to a duel for Pen's honor

His feelings for her were middling at best, I mean Christ on a Pogostick, after he asked her mum for permission to propose he isn't even happy when he opens the door and Pen is there? She's looking like a snack- nay, a whole ass MEAL, and he can't even smile? He just nods at her and dips the fuck out? You don't think it would kill Penelope to know that both her sisters have husbands who absolutely adore them and she's out here with an absent dude who likely won't even write to her?

Portia's 'Love is make believe!' speech is so transparently full of shit when you realize that we've got Dankworth who is so obsessed with Prudence that he makes heart eyes at her every waking moment and considers her his little bonbon and Albion who loves Phillipa so much that he was waiting for her to consent to sex (not realizing she didn't know what it was) for two entire years because he would never pressure her and so he was content with finishing in his pants when he kissed her to make sure she was comfortable. And you want Penelope to settle for a life of loneliness? When Colin is so besotted with her that he dreams of her and breaks every societal expectation in the book as a notorious People Pleaser to run after her and cannot even wait for the morning after being intimate with her to introduce her as his wife to his family in the middle of the night? You want her to turn down Mr "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible" Bridgerton? For LORD PENGUIN?

Be so serious right now

[kit-screams-into-the-future]

another post for @bttfjanaury! this one's @itsthemorph's mermarty au and very predictably i got carried away with it LMAO.

yap session and bonus stuff below the cut:

once again i came up with an entire backstory for this au, and if i were a fanfiction writer i would genuinely consider writing it since it's a lot less visually comedic than the weredoc au (and comedic in general, it's played a little straighter than "man turns into dog and is thoroughly inconvenienced by it") (unfortunate [in reference to visuals] bc i enjoy drawing mermarty a great deal more than weredoc GBJKGJ) bc i really like the premise but i'm pretty bad at fleshing out a narrative in enough detail to last the whole story so bullet points it is:

doc has decided to take a break from his time-travel-related research and go on vacation! the fresh coastal air might jostle a couple ideas into place, and while he is a nuclear physicist and not a marine biologist he wouldn't mind checking out some of the local aquatic life

and by local aquatic life he meant like normal fish and stuff. a nice mollusk or two even. so when he ends up fishing an entire boy out of the water instead he's understandably very shocked

before doc can move past the "where did he come from??" thought to register his more fish-like qualities, the boy makes a run (a swim?) for it. fortunately or unfortunately for doc, he ends up being able to register the fish-like qualities after all since he gets dragged into the water along with him. the moment doesn't last too long, though, and the fish-boy is gone as soon as doc realizes the guy has a fish tail instead of legs

doc gets back on the dock (haha), thinks about the whole ordeal for a bit, and decides that the best course of action is just to assume he hallucinated the whole thing in a fit of heatstroke or something like that. he's here to relax and get his thoughts in order so he can continue working on his time machine! there's no time to investigate fairy-tale creatures or whatever supposedly living off the coast of california!

it's not shown in the comic but i imagine doc has a little portable radio next to him as he was fishing, so some time passes before he catches a glimpse of something shining in the water underneath the dock

he looks through the cracks in the dock and lo and behold, it's the same boy from earlier! doc greets him, and the boy immediately disappears under the water. doc thinks he's scared him off until a few minutes later where he pokes his head out and says hi back

they get to chatting and doc learns a couple things:

1. his name is marty!

2. he was trying to get doc to realize that he forgot to put bait on his hook but got his hand caught on it, and was trying to get his hand unstuck from the hook without ripping it open before doc ever had the chance to see him, which he obviously failed at

3. both the being seen and ripping his hand open, because in his haste to get away after being seen by doc he ended up doing that anyways. so there's like a lot of blood coming out of his hand now? but like don't worry about it. it'll be fine. he thinks.

4. he really likes whatever it is that's playing on the radio

doc insists on patching up his hand and initially marty refuses but lets him do it eventually, and marty tells doc that for a land dweller he's actually surprisingly nice. doc says nah anyone would want to help out someone hurt, especially if they're the one's who caused it. and marty's kind of confused by that because his family's always warned him of how dangerous humans are, which he kind of never thought too hard about until now where his time off this particular coast has really proven them correct, because he's encountered a bunch of humans over the past couple weeks and they've all tried to kill him or catch him. doc's the only one who's actually bothered to say hi!

after learning that particular not-at-all-concerning tidbit, doc asks him to elaborate because there's a lot to unpack over there, but someone else walks onto the dock before marty can get a word in and he takes off

marty does not return, even once the other guy leaves, and when doc packs it up to return to the place he rented out for the vacation he overhears a conversation among a group of men about spotting something weird in the water earlier and that it kind of looked like a mermaid? and that if any of them manage to catch it they'll all be rich as thieves. and another guy in the convo goes no you're thinking of rich as kings, you're mixing it up with a different analogy. and the first guy goes no i'm not i said what i said

so now this vacation is doing anything but clearing doc's mind. he's really worried about that little fish guy

there's a couple more ideas i had but halfway through writing out this bullet list i've realized that if i were to actually write this as a fanfiction, i'd probably want to keep those a surprise. so what i just wrote out is kind of the equivalent of one chapter

edit after thinking about it a bit more: since most humans have been trying to kill him, marty really has no incentive to let a guy know that he's wasting his time fishing with a baitless hook. so a. he's still pretty optimistic that most humans aren't out to get him, even if his experience off this particular coast says otherwise, so he was trying to be nice anyway or b. (which i think is a lot funnier) he has started to pull on people's lines as a way to fuck with them. i think if i wrote this i'd change it to this one

i based mermarty off of a guppy fish! specifically this kind of guppy fish:

i was searching up kinds of fish and he just had the vibe of this thing. although now i think i should've made him a flying fish instead. for the pun

alternate ending to the mini comic:

the other one makes a little more sense since just approaching a guy whose species doesn't know about your existence unprompted is pretty stupid even for marty (and also i thought it was funny that the hook didn't have anything but doc ends up catching something anyways) but i still think this one's funny too

[jelreth]

i should really start keeping a tally for marvel fics that reference tmnt as in universe media

[aswiftiechildofapollo]

The fact that Naruto will hate everyone in the fandom who hates Sakura.

[wishchip106]

how did that song go again

knee deep in the passenger seat….

[taikk0]

the unspoken broflovski family curse

[xxplastic-cubexx]

it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent

[fiendishartist2]

the archives is full of gay ppl; therefor halloween is celebrated

[mimiri22-6]

Ok so, something's been driving me crazy for the past 2-3 days now; I can't find one fanfic!

-its a stranger things fic

-eddie still dies

-Steve visit his grave regularly

-wayne visits the grave to clean graffiti off it...or Steve does that, I can't remember now

-wayne talks to Steve about Eddie

-Steve slowly falls in love with these stories of Eddie and mourns never knowing him

-the kids graduate and are semi scattered around out of hawkins...or just spend A Lot less time with Steve nowI CAN'T FUCKING REMEMBE-

-leaving Steve and Wayne to themselves

-Steve and Wayne move in together/Wayne moves into the Harrington house because they are both just so sad

-meanwhile Eddie is slowly helped back to his body my El being directed by some gov/lab people

-its a success, and her and Eddie get along. I think.

-eddie still has to recover because he was comatose/dead for the past year(s?)(maybe the kids didn't graduate yet?????IDFK)

-El did all of this in secret without telling anyone, but since she would be gone for a long while she told a lie or something? Or she told the truth that she was going to the gov again, but didn't say why? I forget exactly how she loopholed her way out of not lying about where she was going

-El brings Eddie back while Steve is visiting Eddie's grave again and gets whiplash when Eddie speaks up behind him

-one of the gov guys, maybe the main one, was with and says something along the lines of'this is compensation, we found him and said 'we can use this'' he doesn't Really say that, but that's the vibe

-it was originally on Tumblr in multiple linked parts, I'm pretty sure, but it eventually got put on AO3 too? Maybe? Hopefully

-I Rb'd it but I stopped religiously adding tags forever ago when I Still couldn't find anything

-multiple povs, obviously, but specifically Wayne, Steve, Eddie, and El I'm pretty sure.

-i think I was looking for 'wayne munson major character death, or something' at the time and now I've exhausted all avenues and it's taking prescious time out of my homework hours because I can't stop thinking about it.

OH

-im pretty sure I read it back in 2023, if not, I 1000000% didn't read it this year and I Really think I didn't read it last year, aka 2024. So date published is narrowed down two, BUT I STILL COULDN'T PIN IT DOWN-

-Edit: Timeline for when I most likely read it is ACTUALLY February 3rd 2023-late June 2023 AT IT'S MOST NARROWED, CURRENTLY. I've gone backwards in my post history, and now I'm using the tumblr mass edit tool to try and find it. wish me luck o7

-it could be tagged steddie, but I was thinking it might have been one of those'i wrote this platonically but you can interpret this anyway you want' fics and that's another reason why I'm so unsure about this fucking thing

-there was absolutely no sign of the author bringing Eddie back in the first part/chapter until Eddie gave Steve whiplash

-the pov after Steve was Wayne and then maybe El and then Eddie? But the first 2 I'm pretty positive of

-i have no clue if there was a prologue, but they do bring the party back together to surprise them with Eddie and I Think that's where it ends

-it felt like a long read, but I could be wrong, it definitely wasn't short though

I was doing the search again this morning and I still haven't eaten and the cats haven't eaten, and I still have to read/consume material before class today and and💥(I'm legit going a little mad looking for this thing, I haven't been able to sleep a full night)

[jackass-jones]

Akihiko becoming a cop is something that simply doesn’t happen in the coma route cuz Shinji would see that shit and be like Aki what the actual hell is wrong with you

[icemintfreeze]

Fear Garden cast pt. 1 (let’s pretend pencil’s scarf has polka dots, much to flowers dismay)

[thee-horny-thicky]

Controversial take here, but Sukuna definitely eats ass. Like, this man is a thousand year old curse that can summon mouths wherever he pleases. And, considering his disregard for humanity, why would he abide by societal limits on pleasure?

His priority is making you feel good, not following silly rules created by lesser beings.

The way you squirm as one of his mouths lap at your puckered rim is absolutely adorable, and your whines of how taboo the act is only makes him want to do it more.

The pleasure you feel once you relax enough to allow him entrance into your tight hole makes him smug. While drool slips out of your mouth, your mind blank due to how blissed out you are, he'll degrade you the entire time, teasing you for putting up such a fight when all he wanted to do is make you feel good.

When his dicks start to get too hard at hearing the wanton noises spilling for you, he sits you on a cock and summons a mouth on his hand to continue tongue fucking your ass.

And this man has stamina that's out of this world. He'll keep you there until he's satisfied, which can take hours. By that point, you're a mess, nothing but a toy for him to do what he wants with.