#you can argue with the wall over my delusions

[space-ghost-with-the-most]

I think it would be insanely funny if Umbrella!Ben and Sparrow!Ben interacted, like the potential of them interacting would have me in the stratosphere. I can literally see Brellie!Ben being his usual ghost bitch self and roasting his doppelganger in the first episode of season three and Klaus laughs at his words only for Sparrow!Ben to be like: “What’s so funny sundance?!” And Klaus doesn’t know how to say ‘the dead version of you- which i can see- thinks you look emo and is cursing you out’ without coming off insane and rude, so of course he says it in the most Klaus way possible, gets decked and Ben gets summoned and its a Horror Brawl, cue the music! (I’m going to keep 100%, Umbrella!Ben would win that fight, and scare Sparrow!Ben, only because while Sparrow!Ben has lived longer, is crueler and has a purposefully high body count, Umbrella!Ben is dead and can’t be killed but inflict so much damage, which would scare the Sparrow’s shitless.)

[astonmartinii]

i still miss the smoke | ollie bearman social media au

pairing: ollie bearman x fem singer ex reader

where there’s smoke, there’s fire and maybe we miss the warmth

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

y/nfanpage

liked by kimiantonelli, user1 and 102,309 others

tagged: yourusername

y/nfanpage: folklore is finally out and i say for everyone: thank you y/n!!!! another banger i believe, what did you guys think?

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user2: my ears have been BLESSED

user3: she really looked inside my brain and created the exact thing i needed

user4: and THIS is why i have a parasocial relationship sorry!

user5: you can tell she's been writing this a long time because she still sounds so in love

user6: i don't want to be that person that makes all her music about the men but like she's so obviously still in love with ollie

user7: she put the songs invisible string and the 1 on this record and didn't think we would see that she's so in love still

user8: maybe she's hoping that he'll listen and call her?

kimiantonelli: HE BETTER FUCKING CALL JESUS CHRIST

this comment has been deleted

user8: why did an account with over a million followers just reply to me and then delete his comment?

user9: babe that was soon-to-be mercedes f1 driver kimi antonelli (he's ollie's current teammate)

user8: WHAT?

user10: surely this is a sign?

user11: mum come pick me up they've made up yet another conspiracy about y/n and ollie getting back together

user12: 1. they're still in love argue with the wall 2. fuck ur mum

user11: excuse me?

user12: i said what i said, kimi commenting has proved the fact ollie clearly misses y/n as much as folklore proves she misses him

user13: as an f1 fan it still actually boggles my mind that ollie was actually with Y/N Y/LN

user14: no it's crazy because when he got called up in saudi arabia the first thing charles said to him was 'why didn't you bring y/n we wanted to meet her'

user15: also like the way the viewer count spiked for saudi with all the y/n fans watching

user16: well some of us didn't leave so now i have another expensive hobby and an unhealthy attachment to both of them

olliebearman

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 409,300 others

tagged: kimiantonelli

olliebearman: back to the action this weekend

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user17: thank you for my daily dose of bearnelli

user18: i can't believe both will be on the f1 grid next year 😭

user19: i hate that they won't be teammates

user20: you can't separate them they're like bonded cats

charles_leclerc: so when are you growing some balls and calling y/n?

olliebearman: huh?

charles_leclerc: answer me quickly oliver or you're not getting my car in FP1

olliebearman: i don't think you can do that?

charles_leclerc: do you wanna find out the hard way?

olliebearman: i know we have this cool father son thing going and i love that but STAY THE FUCK OF MY LOVE LIFE

charles_leclerc: i don't appreciate your tone young man

charles_leclerc: and i loved folklore and want my vinyl signed :P

olliebearman: go to a meet and greet like a normal person?

charles_leclerc: JUST CALL HER FOR FUCK SAKE

user21: so everyone lost their minds over the summer break i see

user22: well i hate to say it but they have a point - y/n is in the likes

user23: they're feeding my delusions i fear

kimiantonelli: we look like a couple here.... which reminds me ... you could be in a relationship ... if you just PICKED UP THE DAMN PHONE

olliebearman: do you fucking mind?

kimiantonelli: don't speak to me like that :(

olliebearman: this is my instagram page?

kimiantonelli: you keep fucking moping and it's bringing the mood down so do something about it for the love of god

olliebearman: stop airing me out online? I SAW UR TWEET

kimiantonelli: and yet she's still in your likes THERE'S STILL TIME JACKASS

user24: we're trusting these fools to drive f1 cars?

yourusername: i can see all of these comments?

this post has been deleted

f1insider

liked by user25, user26 and 21,843 others

tagged: olliebearman

f1insider: ollie meeting fans this weekend - one fan has stated that when she asked ollie to sign her y/n y/ln shirt he was more than happy to and said that his favourite song from the new album is invisible string and said "i'm still holding my end"

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user27: so he's freaking out about charles and kimi airing him out in public when he's spouting poetry to random f1 fans

user28: I WAS THE FAN and let me tell you bro was GOING THROUGH IT

user29: how so?

user28: well first of all he did a double take when he first saw my shirt and took time to properly look at it before signing - he knew in less than 5 seconds what his favourite song was and had this far off loved up look when he said about the invisible string

user29: oh he's so down bad

user30: the way i just know kimi was there groaning up a storm

user28: you would be correct

user31: someone needs to get that dude some compensation for real

user32: bro is coming into his f1 career known by the wider community as the guy who is the eternal third wheel to a couple who have been broken up for six months

user33: i'm sorry he can't say he's still holding onto the invisible string and just expect us all to be normal about it ?

user34: you can tell he's been with y/n though because before that the most eloquent thing he's said is when he sent carlos his condolences like he DIED

user35: we can't even say he's doing it for her attention because how did he know that the fan would run to social media

user36: based on how kimi is right now i'd put a lot of money on him going on like this at all times

user37: all this to say i hope they get back together because i think seeing y/n at an f1 race would send me into cardiac arrest

user38: she'd be up there for best ever wag i won't lie

user39: i do think she'd be the best but that's also because arguably ollie is more her wag

user40: they've mastered the lovestruck look of watching the person you love doing what they love

user41: we're all going to look so dumb if they never get back together

user42: SHUSH

yourusername

liked by kimiantonelli, olliebearman and 3,209,577 others

yourusername: you thought i was done? my bonus track 'the lakes' is out now!

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user43: STUNT ON THEM HOES

user44: this is such a funny comment in the context of how the music actually sounds

user45: okay well she's stepping on the girls' neck and hearing the snap like autumn leaves on the ground

charles_leclerc: amazing song once again y/n!

yourusername: thanks charles :)

charles_leclerc: now, what are we doing about this heartbroken son of mine?

yourusername: excuse me?

charles_leclerc: don't play coy with me miss, i know you're just as pathetically sad as him so why don't you get ur head out of the sand and call him up !!!!

yourusername: you know i saw all of your comments shouting at him to do the same thing

charles_leclerc: i'm standing on business - he was the one who deleted the post

yourusername: does he know you're doing that on my post as well then?

charles_leclerc: don't be stupid i know that fool still has your notifications on i can hear his phone buzzing every time you reply - he's trying to play it cool in the engineering meeting

yourusername: and you don't have to?

charles_leclerc: i told them it was a family emergency

yourusername: charles ????

charles_leclerc: whether you like it or not you are my grid daughter in law and so it does personally pain me when you IDIOTS don't see what is right in front of you - it's not like you have to use messenger pigeons, you can make it work

user46: i know ollie is going to have a heart attack when he finally reads this comments

charles_leclerc: he just snuck to the toilet and i could hear him drop his phone from the meeting room

olliebearman: STOP ARE YOU INSANE

olliebearman: also this is not "family drama" i was genuinely worried something had happened :/

yourusername: come on ollie you should know not to trust that man by now

user47: i know ^^ this is crazy but like bro THE LAKES ??? i swear in an interview y/n spoke about it was her and ollie's dream to spend christmas by the lakes?

user48: WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

user49: plus the replies??? basically remarried

user50: genuine question for everyone in the comments talking about her getting back with this mystery man - why did they even break up?

user51: ollie was starting his f2 season that was going to secure him an f1 drive and y/n was starting an album cycle and finishing a tour so they broke up because of distance :(

user52: NOT FOR LONG :P

olliebearman

liked by charles_leclerc, kimiantonelli and 1,204,377 others

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olliebearman: i took her to the lakes where all the poets went to die (i didn't let her die)

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user54: WE HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE BACK

user55: shout out to kimi antonelli, you survived king

yourusername: you're such a cutie pie

olliebearman: just for you

yourusername: thanks for pushing me in the water and insisting on giving me mouth to mouth .... i think it might have been a front to kiss me tho

olliebearman: sue me, i've missed it :(

yourusername: you'll never be without it ever again

olliebearman: yay 🥳 🎉 😀 !!!!!!!!!

user56: why is he such a fucking nerd when his gf tells him she loves him

user57: he's so fucking real

charles_leclerc: FUCKING FINALLY

kimiantonelli: don't pretend you were on the front line old man

charles_leclerc: old man???? i'm 27

kimiantonelli: okay grandpa do you need directions to the nursing home

charles_leclerc: coming at me when fernando exists is a choice

kimiantonelli: i don't see fernando here complaining up a storm ?

fernandoalo_oficial: i am not taking sides here but the one time i have had a full conversation with ollie this season was during the pre-race parade and he spoke about y/n the whole time

yourusername: awwwww that's so cute bear :3

olliebearman: i told you i am obsessed with you

kimiantonelli: you don't say

olliebearman: just because you can't make references to bearnelli being real now

kimiantonelli: it's not real /??????????

yourusername: ???????

user58: just got her boyfriend back and is immediately has to battle his homoerotic situationship with his teammate

yourusername: i will never be free

olliebearman: he's just a funky lil guy babe, it would be rude to leave him out

kimiantonelli: yeah i'll take it!

kimiantonelli

liked by lewishamilton, olliebearman and 731,044 others

tagged: olliebearman, yourusername

kimiantonelli: WAR IS OVER

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user59: the way this man will never let them forget anything about this

user60: i know he's getting his evidence for his best man speech

kimiantonelli: you make a great point

olliebearman: that's a bold assumption that you would be my best man?

kimiantonelli: do not piss me off this morning oliver

yourusername: you can be my man of honour kimi :)

kimiantonelli: score !!!

olliebearman: how did we get here?

yourusername: i am weaponising your homoerotic tension against you

olliebearman: sure, you got me there

user61: are these people ever normal?

user62: nope!

user63: i know the merc and haas PR teams are shaking in their boots

user64: tbf i think haas will be welcoming it - i mean all the y/n fans will probably get the ollie merch next year ?

haasf1team: WE LOVE YOU Y/N 🥰

haasf1team: new wheel guns here we come - thanks y/n fans!

yourusername: thanks for being our lil messenger pigeon for these rough six months, we love you kimi <3

olliebearman: we're so lucky to have someone like you in our lives, forever grateful

kimiantonelli: i know i complained the whole time, i love you guys and i'd go through this weird three way conversation all over again

charles_leclerc: okay now this is all done @yourusername when are you coming to the paddock i have a lot of vinyls for you to sign!

yourusername: you've been very loud throughout this whole situation, why should i?

charles_leclerc: BECAUSE I LOVE YOUR MUSIC

charles_leclerc: and plus i do really want the best for both of you so i let kimi play nice cop

kimiantonelli: you were NOT in on this?

charles_leclerc: YOU'RE WELCOME 😉

olliebearman: let's all smile and wave

yourusername: 😃

kimiantonelli: 😃

yourusername

liked by kimiantonelli, charles_leclerc and 4,298,400 others

tagged: olliebearman

yourusername: i knew you were still the 1 for me x

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user66: back to flexing their love on us again

user67: i am cripplingly lonely but i am so happy for them

user68: honestly i think i've been through this breakup with them i also deserve compensation

yourusername: i only got so many hampers i'm sorry gal

maxverstappen1: is now an okay time to ask for tickets to the tour?

yourusername: yes! i'll grab you at a race and we can discuss what shows you want (spoiler alert it mostly lines up with the f1 calendar)

yourusername: also @charles_leclerc take notes on how to ask for things

maxverstappen1: schooled again bozo @charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc: EXCUSE ME I AM NUMBER 1 Y/N FAN ON THE GRID I AM ALLOWED TO BE INSANE ABOUT HAVING YOU IN THE PADDOCK

olliebearman: .... you're the biggest y/n fan on the grid?

charles_leclerc: you of course don't count

yourusername: you know what? sure! i'm just confused at this point

user69: i think this six month breakup rotted all of our brains at this point

user70: charles being a y/n fan makes a lot of sense tbf

user71: at least he didn't do the corny thing of just pretending his gf is a fan

olliebearman: i did say i'm still holding onto the end of the invisible string

yourusername: and if i told you i never let go either

olliebearman: then i know we were always meant to be

yourusername: ugh i love you

olliebearman: i love you more

kimiantonelli: i love you guys too :D

yourusername: 😭 😭 😭 we love you too kimi

olliebearman: we love you kimi :3

fin.

note: my ass finally finished a draft GOOD LORD and a first one for OLLIE !!!!!!!

[nomsfaultau]

Hybrid AU in exile week where avian instincts can take over to a degree that is almost horrific, erasing someone’s personality and rationality when they’re panicking. First part here.

Tommy is sick of being sat upon by some nut job he barely knows. It’s been days trapped under a Philza who doesn’t really register human words and mostly just coos whenever Tommy tries to cuss him out. Techno says it’s ‘cause Philza thinks he’s been hurt and needs to be protected, which like, yeah, fine sure, but not by Philza. Tommy already has a guardian. His abuser has to be insanely worried about him, especially after Philza assaulted him for no reason. But every time Tommy tries to escape he’s just dragged back and everything gets worse.

At least that part is familiar.

He’s forced to stay in that nest for days, and Tommy has never handled being cooped up well. Some part of him likes the weight of a parent roosting over him and the feeling of gentle hands combing through his wings and hair, but the overwhelming majority of his instincts just wants his abuser back. Techno is of absolutely no help, mostly since Philza keeps trying to murder him. But he sits in the corner and is open to chat, or read a book aloud to him to stave off some of the boredom. Best advice Techno has is that Philza will be normal again if he thinks his chick is safe and happy.

Hell no. Tommy is not feeding this guy’s delusions, especially when Techno reveals Tommy’s own feathers had been woven next to Philza’s in the nest long before Tommy’s abduction. A-grade creep behavior there. Besides, his abuser will come save him soon. Tommy is so acutely aware that he’ll never save himself.

But then it’s been days and he’s losing hope and just wants to go home, so desperately Tommy tries to figure out what Philza will register as a happy chick. Usually chirps just burst out of him, not something he controls at all, but with some struggle he forces out the little trill he made every time his abuser came home.

Something twists in Tommy’s chest as Philza echoes the joyful chirps at him. It feels horribly right, complete whereas with his abuser the greeting was never returned. That wasn’t his fault, he wasn’t an avian. Neither of them had known what was needed to soothe his instincts. 

But it works. Philza blinks rapidly, pupils returning to normal. His gaze locks on Tommy, eyes filling with tears. “I’m so sorry he did this to you.” Philza wraps him in a warm hug. Juuust great. He was hoping to leave after Philza got over it. All he wants is to get back to his abuser, but when he says as much the embrace becomes a vice. Tommy naturally rejects Philza’s awful claims, growing more and more desperate as his abuser is slandered. First the absurd claim he somehow stopped Tommy from flying, like it wasn’t because Tommy was too weak and small to. And then it’s after him for not providing proper shelter at their nest, even though his abuser was trying to teach him to be responsible when he had Tommy make his shack. Then the lack of healing supplies, then the fact he was dying alone when Philza found him.

“No, it’s my fault I tried to fly when he was gone! He was there for me every time I was injured! Shut up, I can too prove it. Hard not to be there when he caused it half the time!”

For some unknowable reason, Philza doesn’t take that well. Neither does Techno, even when Tommy tries to explain they’re misinterpreting what he said, really it was Tommy’s fault, mistakes and the natural punishment for his actions. When he argues it wasn’t bad, Techno brings up the injuries a bit too old to heal when he used the potions. They try to get in his head, voicing all the thoughts in Tommy’s head before he plummeted and proved his abuser right.

Thing is, Tommy has flown before. It’s been awhile, but he has, when he was younger, knew the wondrous taste of its joy. With L’Manburg he’d been careful to fly below the walls so he didn’t get shot down. And it wasn’t possible in Pogtopia. And then after…it just seemed pointless. And now he can’t at all, and the only reason he can find is because he doesn’t deserve that joy.

Unless it was taken from him. Just like everything else, Tommy finally admits. Wearing an avian’s feathers is meant to be a promise to support them as surely as their own wings, and yet his abuser clipped his. 

It’s hard, realizing he was only ever so weak because the man he trusted was sabotaging him the whole time. Twisting his instincts, forcing him to become a useless hatchling. Manipulating him so he could never fly to safety.

Tommy begins to sob.

Next>

[k9iriz]

𝐮𝐧𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘸𝘰, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.

“you know, i always find myself back to you.”

[ 𝘞𝘈𝘙𝘕𝘐𝘕𝘎 ; 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘰𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘴 & 𝘴𝘦𝘹𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴. ]

“you’re so sweet.” i gushed at the female across the table, she was tall, muscular and pretty sexy if you ask me.

“thank you, so…when am i gonna finally be able to take you out?” she asked subtly, grabbing my hand, caressing it.

“you already are. this was very nice of you even though you didn’t have to take off work.” she smiled brightly.

suddenly i felt the energy shift, like i had a gut feeling something was gonna go bad.

“hello? y/n?” the girl grabbed my attention, fluttering my eyes shut.

“oh im sorry…i-i was just thinking about something.” i half lied.

“well, where do you wanna go? i could do way better than this restaurant. like…out the country. on a trip somewhere.” the woman gushed, staring my in the eyes.

she was so sweet to even suggest that…

but my heart was in the right place. i am in love with her, but…i can’t let go of rhea at all.

i laughed lightly as i glances three tables over, and there she was, in a suit, so nicely done & rings covered her hand along with her tattoos, but with a female…

oh…she moved on?

the thought of her with another female within a span of the month killed me inside.

soonly she caught me staring, slyly smirking at me before biting on her tongue teasingly, soonly catching onto what she was doing…

did she fucking follow me here?-

“excuse me, im going to clean myself up.” my boss excused herself, before rhea followed shortly behind her, causing the slut she brung to rub up on her before she got up.

her trying to stalk me by bringing somebody to make me jealous was below the belt…but if she wanted to play? oh we can.

in the bathroom, rhea slowly lit a cigarette, before leaning against the sink wall, as my boss exited the stall, smiling.

“hello there.” she greeted a annoyed rhea. rhea chuckled to herself.

“sup. im rhea ripley.” rhea rolled her eyes at herself trying to fake small talk with the woman who wanted to steal the love of her life.

“nice name, you got a date here?” my boss began washing her hands.

“yu-p.”

“me too-” she was soonly stopped. “i already know who she is.” rhea shook her head.

“she was the love of my life. she made me happy. y/n? the one you have on a date with you? the one with the red see-through dress, exposing her curves? yeah her.” rhea slickly explained.

“oh…sorry, i guess?” my boss rolled her eyes, she already knew about what rhea did to me, so she didn’t wanna play nice.

both of them weren’t.

“well, i guess she found where she was truly appreciated huh?” my boss laughed, throwing tremendous shade at her, catching rhea off guard.

“you might be with her, but, i owned her. marked it, stamped her & fucked her in all the right places that couldn’t even get her to reach.” rhea smirked slyly.

“tsk…sorry to tell you. you’re a replacement. hell, she could’ve did better instead of with you. you’re really a joke.”

“i mean, i made time for her, even took off for her. i don’t get pissed or jealous when she’s in someone else’s face, unlike you. im not insecure. because i know she mines. so let that delusion go. she’s done with you. ripley.” my boss laughed straight in her face, before trying to get closer.

rhea did nothing but pause. she knew she was right and she couldn’t argue with that.

“watch your fuckin’ hands and get out of my face.” rhea growled in a low manner, making my boss chuckle, storming away.

rhea knew the game you were trying to play, but she could play it even better.

rhea walked back out the bathroom before fixing her black long sleeve button up, rolling up her sleeves before sitting down at her reserved table.”

“so, how long is this date gonna take?” the fake “girlfriend ” retorted, twirling her hair.

rhea shot her a side glare, with the meanest mug on her face.

“just sit there.” she responded before directing her eyes back to the table that my boss and i were sitting in.

y/n felt some eyes burn holes inside of her, soonly taking notice, my boss grabbed my hand, kissing it, making rhea scowl under pressure.

“what a fucking whore.” rhea muttered, batting her eyes towards the blonde across from her.

“you wanna make her jealous? kiss me.”

rhea took her advice, before motioning her finger to the blonde to “come here.”

the blonde took notice and also smirked, kissing rhea in the crossfire.

y/n took notice of it, getting distracted at her boss talking pure nonsense.

“she’s not fucking serious…” y/n thought, feeling herself get jealous.

she couldn’t help it. but whatever rhea was up to, she was playing it nicely, and was exciting it nicely.

she wanted y/n to get field up and jealous.

“excuse me for a second.” y/n asked nicely as she nodded, excusing herself before walking to the bathroom, slamming it shut.

she had to get herself together because she was completely losing it. why was she doing this? and why was it getting her upset if she was done with rhea?

why?

y/n did nothing but pat herself up, fixing her dress before gathering her thoughts, trying to stop herself from crying.

because if she did…all hell would break lose.

y/n grabbed her purse before walking back out, patting her bosses’ shoulder.

“can we go now? im gonna call it a night.” y/n smiled lightly.

“why? is everything fine?” the boss asked worriedly, making herself stand up.

“yes, i-i just wanna go home. yeah?” y/n whined, not wanting to answer questions at the moment.

“oh, that’s fine. we can, cmon.” my boss accepted it nonetheless, walking us out to her car.

rhea watched from afar as she smiled, but soonly dropping as she watched her leave.

“im ready to go rhea.” her hare announced as rhea smirked to herself, knowing she’d be meeting up with y/n soon.

everything was working out in her favor.

“yeah…let’s go.” rhea lastly spoke before they departed.

fate once again worked out in her favor. but how was it so wrong when it felt so right when it came to y/n?

[ excuse the mistakes, non proof read. ]

[sophieinwonderland]

There's so Much Wrong With This r/systemscringe Wall of Text!

Okay, u/Pismatic-Salad, I'm going to need to break this up into pieces.

Just because the 4th criteria for DID in the DSM says that “the disturbance is not a normal part of a broadly accepted cultural or religious practice” does not mean “researchers accept non disordered systems”. A cultural practice is a voluntary action, and is equivalent to making up imaginary friends. That’s why in the exact same criteria it says “Note: In children, the symptoms are not better explained by imaginary playmates or other fantasy play”.

Not all cultural practices are inherently voluntary. And even if they being voluntarily, that doesn't mean they will continue to be. And that actually includes imaginary friends.

Studies have shown that while about a third of imaginary companions are fully compliant, most are reported to go against their hosts in some instances. And about a third are what are dubbed as noncompliant imagined companions.

This third group often engages in actual bullying behavior towards the host child.

Clearly, these ICs demonstrate a high degree of both autonomy and self-consciousness.

 It is not an observable psychological or neurological phenomenon.

What is... "an observable psychological phenomenon"?

I mean, you can see it in their face or their reactions. But beyond that, what does this mean? Can you observe if someone has aphantasia? Synesthesia?

I would argue that psychological phenomena are largely observable through self-reports.

Maybe you're saying they aren't observable in the brain, but then why list psychological and neurological separate?

And even that would be false. Or at least unproven. To my knowledge, there haven't been any studies into ICs, endogenic systems or related spiritual phenomena to show their effects on the brain.

There is an fMRI study that's being conducted by Stanford, but the results have yet to be published.

 These fakers define “system” as anybody with involuntary identity alteration.

No? At least not entirely.

A system requires a single body with multiple autonomous and conscious agents with their own first person perspective.

Identity alteration isn't necessary for one to be a system. The agents may simply manifest as voices without any alteration occurring. And it's possible for alterations to only be voluntary when they occur.

Many systems will discuss switching beforehand and headmates won't force themselves to front if the current fronter doesn't want them to.

The main thing is that all headmates have their own agency. They can exercise that agency in other ways beyond taking over the body.

Religious rituals and beliefs are voluntary, once a person leaves the religion, the belief is gone. It is not involuntary. I can choose to believe I only have one leg, and live my life as if I have one leg, that doesn’t mean I actually only have one leg.

No...

No you cannot choose to believe you only have one leg...

That's not how that works...

Quick, everyone, choose to believe your body has a single leg! Don't just pretend! Actually believe it 100% as surely as you believe you have eyes to read this!

For a subreddit that is so convinced that it's impossible to make yourself a system, I'm amazed at how this person thinks you can just casually will yourself to have such a powerful delusion. Because, to be clear, that's what they're describing. Believing you have only one leg when you clearly have two is a delusion.

(Although I suppose someone who already struggles with delusions and is suggestible enough might be able to force themselves to think this.)

Spiritual beliefs that may appear to be identity alteration are not actual identity alteration. They’re just beliefs.  Nowhere in the DSM or ICD does it say anything about “non-disordered systems”. You will not find a single quote mentioning those words anywhere. 

Guys, it doesn't use the specific words "non-disordered systems" so it doesn't count. They got us! How can we ever recover!?🙄

Do you know what words the ICD does use though? "Distinct personality states."

This is the same word choice used to describe alters.

And the creators of the theory of structural dissociation have said these distinct personality states may be self-conscious parts of the personality:

As of right now, every psychologist or psychiatrist who has ever written on the subject of non-disordered systems have ranged from "maybe they exist and need to be researched more," as we see from the creator of the theory of structural dissociation to a firm "they exist" as we see in the World Health Organization's ICD-11.

As of right now, the hard anti-endo position that claims endogenic systems aren't real is just an inherently anti-science one, not supported by even a single academic paper anywhere, and based entirely on hate and bigotry.

[mangoshorthand]

“can’t you blink out of here?”

“no.”

“why?”

“plot convenience.”

"what do you mean, plot convenience?"

"You mean you don't know?"

He looked at you, genuinely shocked. The line between his eyebrows deepened as he realised you really were being honest with him.

"Five, you're scaring me."

He flopped down on top of a crate and studied his shoes for a moment.

"I thought everybody knew."

You shook your head, feeling the fear build and twist in your guts. He let out a long breath and looked up at you from tired, green eyes.

"None of this is real. None of it. This entire universe, everything about us is fiction. So I can't blink us out of here. The Author forbids it."

"What are you talking about?"

"I' sorry to tell you, but we're fictional characters. Notice how weird it was that we'd suddenly get locked in here? What the fuck are we even doing in the basement of a JC Penneys, right? Yeah, none of that was by chance. The Author planned it all."

"Five, this isn't funny."

"No. It isn't. We're perpetually trapped at the end of the pen of a sexually frustrated megalomaniac who retreats into the world of fiction as an escape from the fundamental disappointment of her own life." he said, like an asshole upon whom I shall have my revenge.

Five sighed again, knowing he had just secured himself a beating but squaring his shoulders nevertheless, taking control of the situation for the sake of others, despite his own despair. That's one of the things I like about him.

"We seem to be in a classic 'locked in' scenario right now," he said, "so I'd estimate there are roughly three roads we could go down."

He held up one finger on his right hand to illustrate.

"Number one: we have an argument, make up and come out of the experience knowing and respecting each other better. That is the best case scenario, but it's risky because it can also lead to scenario two-"

He lifted a second finger, grimly.

"The sexual tension ramps up, perhaps it's through the argument we started in scenerio one, or perhaps not but, essentially, before we escape we at least have to confess our love for one another, but almost certainly have hot sweaty sex.-"

"Five-"

"And Three: we're actually in the horror genre and one of us murders the other after a terrifying game of cat and mouse."

You stared at him, mouth agape. Hot sweaty sex? A game of cat and mouse? What on earth was happening here?

"I know this is hard to hear," he continued, "but you gotta accept it. It's easier for me, She has me drinking a lot as a coping mechanism for the terrible things She makes happen to me. It's bad writing but it does dull everything."

He looked down at his shoes again, considering how unwise it was to point out the clumsiness of My one-note attempts to portray dysfunctional coping mechanisms but, having already thoroughly incurred My wrath, found that he didn't care.

Looking at him warily, you ventured to comment once more.

"Five, are you...are you prescribed any meds?"

"The Author will decide, I have no control over Her. Now listen, I vote we just try to make one of the plots happen. It might get us out of here faster. I'll start by calling you a cunt and then you argue back, okay? It's the only way to appease The Author."

Partly to give yourself a break from this madness, you took your eyes off Five and looked slowly around the basement. Your eyes stopped on a particular item, hanging on the opposite wall. One that made everything fall into place.

You were locked in a basement with a trained killer suffering from psychotic delusions. And over there on the wall...?

Why, there was a fire axe of course.

[drowninginthoughts27]

14/9 Apple Word Count: 567

@jegulus-microfic

The door to the astronomy tower creeks open. In response Regulus’ heart flutters. He knows it’s wishful thinking but he has his fingers crossed that the person who just entered the tower is James.

Recently James and Regulus have been spending more time together. Bickering in the halls in between classes, booking the same times to go practice alone at the quidditch pitch, arguing over homework answers in the library. And Regulus’ favorite, sitting together in the astronomy tower staring at the stars. Regulus makes comments on certain constellations from time to time and James asks him questions about himself in return.

He knows it’s not fair to enjoy their time together so much. He’s getting his hopes up, he knows James doesn’t think of him the same way, but he likes to live in a bit of delusion.

Regulus sits against the wall of the tower, prepared to make a mad dash for it in case it’s not James. He pretends he didn’t hear the door, as the footsteps grow closer. Soft, slow, steps towards the ledge that Regulus sits by. He grows more and more certain that the footsteps belong to James.

“Regulus, I know you heard me come in.” He hears James say, barely breaking a whisper.

Regulus continues looking up ahead of him, into the abyss.

“Regulus?” James prompts.

Regulus only answers with a slight hum.

James moves from where he stands behind Regulus to sit next to him.

“There's something I need to tell you,” James starts.

At this sudden news Regulus’ heart stops, the butterflies in his stomach take flight, and the color drains from his already ghostly face. He feels like he’s already fallen off of the balcony before him.

“I’m just gonna say this now if I won’t have the courage to say it at all, which is strange cause I consider myself a relatively brave person. It’s just things like this that make me nervous. Hell you make me nervous-“ James starts to ramble.

“Just spit it out James,” Regulus commands, he’s given up on the whole Potter thing.

James takes a deep breath, preparing his thoughts before he speaks again.

“Ok, I just really like you and I know that you probably don’t like my back. I honestly don’t even know if you don’t hate me. But like I really, really, really like you. Like a lot. And you can just tell me to go away and I will. I’ll stop bothering you and leave to let you be at peace again. But I really like you Regulus Black and I don’t give a damn what Sirius says or anything like that. I’m not scared of him-“

Regulus can feel the blush rising to the apples of his cheeks. Unsure of any other way to respond, he grabs James face. Forcing him to stop talking and look him dead in the eyes instead of down on the stone floor beneath them. And Regulus kisses him, square on the lips. It’s a quick kiss, their lips barely meeting, but it’s a kiss nonetheless. And it means a lot to both of them.

James breaks out into a wicked grin of relief. Prompting Regulus to smile in response. The blush remained prominent on the apples of his cheeks and the back of his neck.

“I like you too, like a lot!” Regulus replies, resting his head on James’ shoulder.

[ae-neon]

Disclaimer: this is embarrassing but I once shipped Nesta and Rhysand. HEAR ME OUT

I'm not a Feysand and Nessian fan and in particular I think they work better as separate characters. BUT THIS ISN'T BECAUSE I USED TO SHIP NxR, I read with an open mind and take things as they are so this wasn't any kind of weird ship jealousy

Rhysand was never a good guy but before the nauseating retcon/whitewash of ACOMAF, I thought he was interesting.

Obviously by the end of ACOTAR, sjm had already set the seeds for the ship switch from FeyLin to FeySand. But I was a newbie to sjm and had no idea the fuckery she was gonna use to do this.

Still, between MAF and TAR I was left to think of how things might go and I heard enough of other people's opinions and reactions to know that Rhys was gonna become a sort of dark "hero"

Now I'm not against enemies to lovers, but only in the instance that the enemies isn't a super personal element : to clarify I mean if the characters personally enact violence on one another - it's a no from me.

Also I don't really like super edgy characters so Feyre being a brutal survivalist and Nesta being a bitch was just enough for both of them to fit the sort of girlboss trend but not overdo it into Strong Female Character territory.

Now by the end of TAR, Nesta was already the character I was most looking forward to even if I didn't actively think of her as my favourite. I thought her ability to negate(?) the glamour of a HL was gonna mean something, I thought Nesta going out to the wall to get her sister back was gonna mean something, I thought Feyre and Nesta rekindling and making up was gonna mean something, I thought their nameless parents and the three sisters reflecting aspects of pagan goddesses was gonna mean something. It didn't.

I was half reading MAF, stopping every three chapters cause my eyes hurt from how often they rolled at the over-the-topness of it all. Characters who'd been almost 3D suddenly had 2 traits we were beaten over the head with, retcons left n right and the side characters were eating the main characters up. Here's where my brain started wandering off the well laid sjm path.

So I embraced delusion. What if FeyLin didn't ignore each other's trauma? What if they had a rough patch but ultimately worked things out?

And then I started spiraling.

I kept seeing "like calls to like" stuff (no idea it was stolen?) And knew Rhysand was the most powerful HL then learned Nesta STOLE FROM THE CAULDRON.

The sister with the keen intellect and not so subtle royal descriptors and the sneakiest, most scheming HL in the book??

Nesta's unforgiving nature and unwillingness to be lenient to the Fae Vs the man who secretly hated what he'd done to protect his people??

Like forget who they are now and tell me you can't seeeee it

Nesta's want to return to an upper class life and Rhysand's (initial) aristocratic air?

She'd never let him dress or treat her the way he dressed and treated Feyre so we wouldn't have that God awful CoN, Rhysand's pet stuff.

Actual magic mentoring. Learning history and politics!!

No Illyrian culture vulture stuff but Nesta loves to learn so she'd still have been fascinated to learn about them.

Her facing and overcoming ignorance on the Fae while insisting that humans weren't wrong to be afraid.

Both of them at first pushing the other to confront who they are and what they've done but also building a strange intimacy when they realise the other truly knows and sees them and still thinks they can and will do whatever it takes to save as many people as possible

Quiet nights in his private library where they realise they don't hate each other's company

Less emphasis on training and more on the politics between the Mortal Lands, the Continent, the Courts and Hybern

The potential left me breathless.

[Please don't argue with me in the comments. I let this go long ago and I promise I'm not a threat to your literally cannon ships😭]

[your--isgayrights]

re: that ask about barthes/hsy. I feel like it's not an outright framework against the traditional constructed system of classifying media but rather a critique about how it's not always best to solely rely on the author's intentions but rather a mix of both(like not all interpretations are gonna be correct as well too, like you said thats delusion)? and honestly it's interesting because orv also sends the message to not be overly reliant on escapism. This ain't even an ask lmao idk where i'm going with this but yeah

Yeah you're probably right I'm not really a theory expert so my experience of death of the author definitely isn't in directly trying to interpret Barthes' assertions but like seeing how other people have interpreted/applied his framework in their own works. Like I think because I'm a fandom guy and not an academia guy I see a lot of people misinterpreting death of the author or applying it to their experience of like commercial lit/storytelling. I will say tho I am like a mega liberal in terms of what I consider 'literature' because I think folk/pop literature is really special and important to me. Took a lit class once where I argued that a gas station receipt is literature.

That being said I def get that Barthes' in context is critiquing a status quo of his time like you say, and I don't disagree at all that like ultimately lit analysis needs insight from reading the text as well as attempts at understanding the author behind it. In terms of tragedy/the delusion, the aspect I was focusing on is more like the literary/thematic element of death of the author as a tragedy if that makes sense? Bc like while it's cool that source texts are so much easier to find/document in modern storytelling traditions, there's still this mythos/feeling of a story that gets so big it leaves the hands of the author entirely to become its own thing. Like I love humans bc that's the kind of thing that started religions and pantheons in the past, stellar, love how powerful stories can become and the ephemeral nature of true origin in that case, but again the power the story has is then no longer in the hands of the author once the story is viewed by a reader, which is why in ORV KDJ is the one running the universe on his subconscious lol.

Like bc of that evolution of author death in modernity though, like based in the reality of webnovels like ORV as commercial texts that get reinterpreted and transformed by translators and fans over and over again with anonymous authors we might not know much of anything about, the delusion I'm speaking of is that some of those millions of readers may not think of author intent at all and just view the finished work as a Product, something consumable. This is what I meant by apathetic delusion when I got into the part you agree with here of readers who only see text as an outlet for their own escapism.

The feeling you have of 'mix of both' is exactly what I'm trying to convey by the "impossible communication." Because text is ultimately speech, storytelling is conversation, it is an attempt to communicate from one author to however many readers. The writing on the wall idea from ORV is very related to this in that you are trying to convey this thing that you are not sure anyone will ever see just in hopes of one day being understood or seen by others, even if you'll never see those others or know how your words affected them. This is why I felt that orv's emphasis on text as Relationship between author and reader.

[velvet-apricots]

I've had this story of morgott and mohg in my head for a while that i also previously shared with friends. it gets angsty though so I'm sorry if that isn't something you're looking for right now. but in case you'd be interested:

so, as evidenced by the mohg illusion in the leyndell sewers, mohg and morgott definitely knew each other. they likely grew up together below the capital. i can imagine what they went through, twins who have been cast out by their family and clearly having widely different perspectives on it.

one thing i really like to think about is morgott's regal omen bairn. the doll was made to resemble him as a baby. was it given to him by his parents, as a small consolation? could it be why morgott ever held the delusion that his family might love him, that this world might accept him? where is mohg's doll?

i like to think then, this is something they argued about as kids. mohg threw his doll away one day and morgott was angry when he found out. "why do you care, it's not like they love either of us?" but morgott jealously clutches the doll tighter to his body, distressed. even as they are now he struggles to think of himself as not a mistake and not a disgrace who deserved to be cast away. the young mohg sees this and frowns, trying to tear the doll away from mohg, to throw it down into the mass of pipes and filth below. but morgott refuses, and as they struggle, he accidentally pushes his brother harder than he should and mohg hits his head against the walls hard. he starts to cry, but morgott doesn't move to comfort him. he walks a little further away and curls inward, clutching the doll tight and wrapping his tail around himself protectively.

(more incoming)

Sad that in the end, Morgott left the doll behind anyway. I suppose he 'accepted' that he was unloved and unwanted by that point.

(personally I think he and mohg were wanted, but I will admit, Marika would have favored Godwyn over both of them, and Morgott over Mohg. I think shes a bit vain and likes 'pretty things' and Morgott's only grace is that he looks mildly like Godfrey. She loves all her kids and gives them alll the same things, but she subtly favors those that take after her or something she cares about deeply. So Miquella and Godwyn get things first, then Malenia, after her is morgott, and last, Mohg. Ragagon's children with Rennala? Well... She made them Demi-gods. (radahn is her favorite))

[heyitsjooooanne]

Just One

An elderly woman reflects on an impossible crush that she had during her youth.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Author’s Note: I randomly put the poster for this short story together on Canva, but the design feels a little familiar.

If the design reminds anyone of anything in particular, please let me know because I'm still trying to figure it out, lol.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

"Rita, let me help you with—"

Rita shooed the younger man's hand away.

"I can handle it. I'm not dead yet, Paul."

Paul sighed and dropped his hand. In the thirty years since he met her, he knew better than to argue back.

He gently rubbed her back, then sat down at the dining room table only ten feet away from the kitchen sink.

The white kitchen was decorated with floral designs everywhere, starting with the tablecloth on the table, the curtains on the window in front of the sink, and finally, the dishcloths hanging on the oven handle.

Paul got up from the table and tapped the "on" button to turn on the TV that was on the wall adjacent to the kitchen sink.

After a three-second advertisement for a beer and wine hybrid drink, a sharply dressed woman appeared on the screen sitting behind a newsdesk.

"And this just in. Beloved legendary musical artist and producer Valentino Chen passed away last night at the age of 87. Mr. Chen was a widow for twelve years, but he did leave behind one daughter that he and his wife adopted in..."

Paul stared at the screen.

"'Valentino Chen'? Why does that name sound so familiar?"

Paul glanced at Rita, expecting her to jab at him for not knowing the answer, but to his surprise, she was looking down into the sink with tears welling up in her eyes as the water from the tap poured out next to her.

The steam from the hot water quickly flooded the sink, so Paul reached over and turned it off.

"Rita? What's the matter?"

She sniffled and wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

"I..."

She chuckled.

"Goodness. I feel so silly for admitting it after all this time."

She turned her head and gave him a polite smile.

"Valentino..." She chuckled again before resuming. "Valentino was, what would we say back in my day, 'kind of a big deal.' He was in a successful four-person pop-punk group for fifteen years, and it was during that time that I found out about him and..."

Rita giggled.

"My god, it's like I'm young all over again."

She sniffled again.

"I had a crush on him. Kids still say that, right?"

Paul nodded his head.

"And other variations of it, yes," he told her with a light chuckle.

Rita looked away and smiled softly, her eyes shining once more.

She turned to look at Paul again.

"You know the main character of my debut novel 'In My Eyes' was entirely based on him?"

"Lyle?"

Rita nodded.

"Damn. He was my favorite character growing up."

Paul crossed his arms and tilted his head.

"So... Did you two ever meet?"

Rita looked away and nodded her head.

"No."

She picked up the unclean dish and resumed washing it with the sponge.

"I was so naive back then. I liked him so much that I reached out to him three times in two years during that time, but he never responded back."

"Wow. You attempted to speak to him? A celebrity? That's pretty—"

"Delusional. I know."

"I was gonna say 'bold.' And... Maybe a little delusion—"

Rita tapped his arm with her hand.

"You rascal!"

She put a newly washed plate on the dish rack to her left.

Paul walked past her to grab the dishcloth hanging in front of the oven and came back to where she was.

He grabbed the wet dish and began drying it with the cloth.

"So, did he ever inspire any of your other work?"

"Well..."

She paused.

"Before that, his group inspired a short story about four young men in charge of a bakery. The story ended up being a commercial failure though."

"Is it online? I'd love to read it."

"I have it on my tablet. I'll show it to you later."

She handed him another plate.

"The story was my excuse to talk to him online. Although, I didn't tell just him about it. I told the entire group. And for a while, I..."

She trailed off.

She smiled and shook her head.

"I thought I was one of their inspirations back then."

"What gave you that idea?"

"Well," she handed him a bowl, "after I told them about the story, something about him was different. Of course, I chalked it up to coincidence. Someone like me couldn't possibly have any effect on him. And yet..."

She shook her head.

"So, you thought he was inspired by your writing?"

"Not necessarily. I vlogged book reviews back then. I would even get silly sometimes and reenact scenes from the books. You know, just to keep my channel more entertaining."

She sighed.

"And there was one book review where I went into this deep discussion on the complexity of human nature, and I still remember saying 'we can be brave, even if it's just for a few seconds,' in the video. I cringed while editing the video because of how stupid I thought it sounded, but I kept it in anyway. Fast forward to their next album four months later, titled, 'Just For a Few Seconds,' which had the theme of breaking free from society's expectations. They even made a tour out of it the following year. It also made them go from one hundred on the charts to number one in their musical genre practically overnight.”

"Oh, shit."

Paul set the cloth down on the counter.

"But that album title doesn't sound like a coincidence to me."

Rita chuckled and grabbed another bowl.

"I didn't think so at the time either. The album cover featured all four members pretending to eat sweets outside a cafe at night. Not exactly typical for their group."

"Given the album's theme, that sounds... Confusing."

Rita snickered.

"Their fans came up with all sorts of theories, but Valentino said no one ever got it right."

She handed him the bowl, the last dish, and turned off the tap.

"So, what about those two other times?"

Rita bit her lip.

"The second time was over a year after I sent the first message to the group. I finally finished the short story I had told them about, and I wanted to try reaching out to him personally. I didn't tell him I had a crush on him, which if I'm being honest, was practically gone by that time, but I wanted to thank him for being my inspiration anyway. And I couldn't live the rest of my life without at least trying to befriend him."

She turned her entire body and gripped the counter with her right hand to keep herself steady.

"So, I told him that he inspired my writing the story."

"Wait... What do you mean, 'writing the story'?"

"I just thought about what he would do. He would've written it no matter how silly it seemed. So that's what I did."

"He inspired you to write again?"

Rita nodded.

"Of course, stupid me unsent the message after two days. Then, two months later, I sent it again."

"And he never got it."

"I don't know. I deleted the unsent message, and the second attempt sat in my outbox for six months. There was no reaction to it. Not even a 'seen' sticker. I no longer had a crush on him by that point, so I figured it was time to move on. I deleted the message and that was that. But at least I tried."

She looked down and smiled.

Paul crossed his arms and looked around the kitchen.

Then his eyes got wide.

"Oh my god!"

Rita lifted her head.

"What is it, Paul?"

"Oh god, I'm so stupid."

He hurried out of the kitchen.

"Thank god!" she heard him say from the living room.

Rita narrowed her eyes and slowly walked over to where he was.

Paul, whose back was to her, held something in his hands.

"What's that?"

Paul turned around.

He brought an envelope to his chest.

"This came for you four days ago. I was gonna toss it because I thought it was spam, but thank god I didn't. The name 'Valentino Chen' is on the envelope."

Rita's heart skipped a beat.

Before she could protest, Paul opened up the envelope and took out a folded handwritten letter.

He held out for her to take.

She reached out and gently took it from him.

"I'll let you be alone."

Paul quietly walked out of the living room as she unfolded the letter.

Dear Rita,

She carefully sat down on the black sofa and adjusted her reading glasses.

I have no idea what I'm doing writing this.

And that's a little strange, isn't it?

I used to write song lyrics, and yet, I can't write.

However, I will try my best.

We've never been properly introduced, so...

Hi, Rita.

I'm Valentino Chen.

It's so nice to meet you.

You might not remember this, but you know that message you sent me and the boys back then?

We all read it.

Two of the guys even gave me hell for being more distracted than usual during rehearsals that week afterward.

And as for why I was so distracted?

Well, to be honest…

Other than rehearsals, you were all I thought about the following week.

Hell, the following year even.

And as cheesy as it is to say even in writing, just knowing that someone like you existed out there in the world changed everything for me.

You became my personal inspiration. My muse.

You were so pretty that I even had a crush on you.

And I just loved watching your book reviews and reading your writing.

I also read the message you sent to me the second time. Unfortunately, my assistant at the time accidentally deleted a third message you had sent to me months later, so I never had a chance to read it in full. But since the preview of it started the same way the previous message did, I can only assume you thought it had never been sent the first time and decided to send it again.

And I wanted to talk to you.

I really did.

But I was scared.

Scared I would never be good enough for you, but even more than that, I was scared of what everyone else would think if I spoke to you.

Additionally, I was in the States while you were in Europe.

So, I never gave us a chance.

I was a coward.

Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for how my life turned out.

But I have just one regret.

And that's not taking advantage of your attempts to connect with me.

And I am truly sorry for making that choice all those years ago.

But as the saying goes, "Better late than never."

Which is why you're free to write a reply back or call the number I've left on the bottom of this letter. 

Or not. It's your choice.

But I would really love to hear from you.

So please consider it, at least.

Also, happy belated birthday.

It's your birthday today as I'm writing this. You mentioned it online back then, and I never forgot it.

91 is quite the accomplishment. I hope I'm blessed enough to make it to that age. God willing, maybe we'll spend it together.

All my love,

Valentino

P.S. Our album "Just For a Few Seconds" was mostly inspired by you. That's why our fans could never figure it out.

xoxo

Paul, who was sitting at the dining table in the kitchen, watched as Rita put her face down in her hands.

He immediately got up from the table and joined her on the couch.

He rubbed her back as she continued to sob quietly.

xx

[nomsfaultau]

Hybrid AU in exile week where avian instincts can take over to a degree that is almost horrific, erasing someone’s personality and rationality when they’re panicking. First part here.

Tommy is sick of being sat upon by some nut job avian he barely knows. It’s been days trapped under a Philza who doesn’t really register human words and mostly just coos whenever Tommy tries to cuss him out. Techno says it’s ‘cause Philza thinks he’s been hurt and needs to be protected, which like, yeah, fine sure, but not by Philza. Tommy already has a guardian. His abuser has to be insanely worried about him, especially after Philza assaulted them for no reason. But every time Tommy tries to escape he’s just dragged back and everything gets worse.

At least that part is familiar.

He’s forced to stay in that nest for days, and Tommy has never handled being cooped up well. Some part of him likes the weight of a parent roosting over him and the feeling of gentle hands combing through his wings and hair, but the overwhelming majority of his instincts just wants his abuser back. Techno is of absolutely no help, mostly since Philza keeps trying to murder him. But he sits in the corner and is open to chat, or read a book aloud to him to stave off some of the boredom. Best advice Techno has is that Philza will be normal again if he thinks his chick is safe and happy.

Hell no. Tommy is not feeding this guy’s delusions, especially when Techno reveals Tommy’s own feathers had been woven next to Philza’s in the nest long before Tommy’s abduction. A-grade creep behavior there. Besides, his abuser will come save him soon. Tommy is so acutely aware that he’ll never save himself.

But then it’s been days and he’s losing hope and just wants to go home, so desperately Tommy tries to figure out what Philza will register as a happy chick. Usually chirps just burst out of him, not something he controls at all, but with some struggle he forces out the little trill he made every time his abuser came home.

Something twists in Tommy’s chest as Philza echoes the joyful chirps at him. It feels horribly right, complete whereas with his abuser the greeting was never returned. That wasn’t his fault, he wasn’t an avian. Neither of them had known what was needed to soothe his instincts. 

But it works. Philza blinks rapidly, pupils returning to normal. His gaze locks on Tommy, eyes filling with tears. “I’m so sorry he did this to you.” Philza wraps him in a warm hug. Juuust great. He was hoping to leave after Philza got over it. All he wants is to get back to his abuser, but when he says as much the embrace becomes a vice. Tommy naturally rejects Philza’s awful claims, growing more and more desperate as his abuser is slandered. First the absurd claim he somehow stopped Tommy from flying, like it wasn’t because Tommy was too weak and small to. And then it’s after him for not providing proper shelter at their nest, even though his abuser was trying to teach him to be responsible when he had Tommy make his shack. Then the lack of healing supplies, then the fact he was dying alone when Philza found him.

“No, it’s my fault I tried to fly when he was gone! He was there for me every time I was injured! Shut up, I can too prove it. Hard not to be there when he caused it half the time!”

For some unknowable reason, Philza doesn’t take that well. Neither does Techno, even when Tommy tries to explain they’re misinterpreting what he said, really it was Tommy’s fault, mistakes and the natural punishment for his actions. When he argues it wasn’t bad, Techno brings up the injuries a bit too old to heal when he used the potions. They try to get in his head, voicing all the thoughts in Tommy’s head before he plummeted and proved his abuser right.

Thing is, Tommy has flown before. It’s been awhile, but he has, when he was younger, knew the wondrous taste of its joy. With L’Manburg he’d been careful to fly below the walls so he didn’t get shot down. And it wasn’t possible in Pogtopia. And then after…it just seemed pointless. And now he can’t at all, and the only reason he can find is because he doesn’t deserve that joy.

Unless it was taken from him. Just like everything else, Tommy finally admits. Wearing an avian’s feathers is meant to be a promise to support them as surely as their own wings, and yet his abuser clipped his. 

It’s hard, realizing he was only ever so weak because the man he trusted was sabotaging him the whole time. Twisting his instincts, forcing him to become a useless hatchling. Manipulating him so he could never fly to safety.

Tommy begins to sob.

Next>

[heavensbeehall]

"Mockingjay", Chapter 4

Part 1: The Ashes

Chapter 4: Flavius, Octavia and Venia are unwashed, starving and chained in their own filth. The guard says the three are being punsihed because Octavia stole a slice of bread (13 is run by a bunch of Javerts, apparently). Katniss demands they be unchained and takes them to her mother, who says there will be no permanent physical injuries just emotional instability to look forward to. Without the Preps, Katniss is released from Mockingjay duty and then goes hunting with Gale. Afterward, she takes a nap in her family's new cat-friendly compartment. Prim wakes her for a District-wide meeting. Katniss spots Finnick and realizes she forgot to include Annie in her list of people to receive immunity. But Coin makes in clear, in front of everyone, that if Katniss fails, the immunity will be terminated.

--

"Punishing my prep team's a warning," I tell her. "Not just to me. But to you, too.About who's really in control and what happens if she's not obeyed. If you had any delusions about having power, I'd let them go now. Apparently, a Capitol pedigree is no protection here. Maybe it's even a liability." "There is no comparison between Plutarch, who masterminded the rebel breakout, and those three beauticians," says Fulvia icily.

Can't help but notice that Plutarch doesn't dispute this assertion about Coin and it being a warning, but only says they are "a little more necessary" to the war effort than Katniss believes. Also I have Fulvia because you can tell that she said "beauticians" in a demeaning way.

"Katniss, why do you care so much about your prep team?"

So this is the point where I become done with Gale. He smelled the filth, saw the sores and was told it was over a slice of bread and he's still like "but you should hate them because they were involved with the Games." It'd be one thing if Katniss hated them. I have said before that she is a lot more empathetic than most people. But he has never met them as far as I know. I'm not sure if he assumes District 13 must have had a good reason--he kind of defends Coin which I do not care for--or if he just hates Capitol people that much that he wants to see them all imprisoned. But I wish Katniss would just say, "Because they are human beings, Gale." Instead his comments make her question her own feelings on the matter.

"Oh, the mad girl. That's not really necessary," she says. "We don't make a habit of punishing anyone that frail." I think of the scene I walked in on this morning. Of Octavia huddled against the wall. Of how Coin and I must have vastly different definitions of frailty. But I only say, "No? Then it shouldn't be a problem to add Annie."

Coin's self righteousness here makes me angry because earlier she was arguing for punishing underage Peeta who is being tortured. Also, I think it'd be funny if Annie beat her up and was like "not so frail now am I?" So that's where I'm at with this bitch.

[denimbex1986]

'If All of Us Strangers managed to reach inside you and grab at that gooey centre, then I’m genuinely truly happy it did. It’s special to have a film that you’ve connected with, especially enough to make you cry, and I understand when your relationship with a film is strong enough to make you resistant to criticism. I don’t believe a film being about sensitive issues absolves it of criticism, though, and I will criticise, so you’ve been warned.

All of Us Strangers is a film about loneliness. Our protagonist Adam is a gay man living in London alone, with no friends, no partner, and no family. He is still heavily grieving the loss of his parents to a car crash when he was twelve. We have clichéd circumstances already, but that’s not my main issue at all. If the exploration of Adam’s grief wasn’t addressed so heavy-handedly, I would be more forgiving of this basic premise.

The thing is, Haigh is afraid you’re going to forget the film is about loneliness. Many scenes deal too transparently with the fact that Adam has been practically alone his whole life. “I can’t even begin to imagine how lonely you must have been��, Harry says to Adam after learning of his deceased parents. This line, in essence, encapsulates the film. Adam’s loneliness consumes him to the extent that he can’t connect with others. Later, his ghost-mother remarks how being gay is “a lonely kind of life”. Adam replies, “If I am [lonely], it’s not because I’m gay. Not really”, reminding us again how lonely he is. It’s an engaging concept on paper: the specific loneliness that comes with being gay, paired with the loneliness of losing parents at a young age, but there’s a lack of trust in the viewer’s ability to understand obvious themes, which produces dialogue that feels clunky, dramatic, and wholly unrealistic.

In this, Haigh loses the subtlety that All of Us Strangers so badly craves. There’s nothing abstract about Haigh’s vision; it’s as if he’s frightened of being unobvious, of allowing for interpretations. And I don’t mean the practical interpretations of whether or not Adam is hallucinating, seeing ghosts, etc. I mean emotional interpretations; the script is emotionally manipulative to the viewer. Characters say exactly what they feel when they feel it, which in turn means viewers are being told exactly what to feel and when, instead of the film working to elicit emotions naturally. It’s over-reliant on delivering emotional beats and the predictability of this becomes arduous. Andrew Scott might as well have broken the fourth wall several times just to let the audience know they should be sad at this part, by the way.

All of this builds to a resolution that is undeserved. And here’s where I’ll get a bit more spoiler-y, so tread carefully. All of Us Strangers purports to be a queer story but ultimately falls victim to the over-used trope of gay tragedy. We are told that Adam, having finally gained closure for his parents' death through their ghostly hallucinatory presence, is a lot more mentally unwell than we previously thought. He is lonely, yes, but he is also sick, guilty, and not at all on the road to recovery like viewers would have assumed — completely undermining his journey up until this point.

There’s a trauma-porn element to the plot twist, a question of how much more this man can go through, can suffer. I would never argue that it should have ended happily, or that gay characters must always be happy and sane because that’s antithetical to storytelling as a whole. But I question what the film was trying to demonstrate about this experience, about this loneliness brought on through guilt and grief. Adam is not a good nor a bad person, he is a character built on his delusions, living in a world separate from others, the only true character in the story. But unlike similar cinematic characters, his illusion has a sense of meaninglessness. Suddenly, through this plot twist, the trauma Adam has spent the duration of his arc processing isn’t even the point of the film. It’s rendered purposeless in the face of a deeper, darker delusion.

What struck me when thinking about this was the lost story thread of Adam’s screenplay, which is swallowed by the developing plot and never revisited. Is Harry a character in it, too? He was originally writing about his parents, which prompted him to fall into his mind and fantasise about them in the first place. It’s not good criticism to think of what could have been instead of focusing on what’s there, but I can’t help but feel cheated out of a story connecting Adam’s grief and coping mechanisms to his desire to create. An artist forcing himself to process trauma for his art, to assemble fake realities to right the desolate world he resides within. The film had room for additional exploration of this theme (or any other theme, really), but it gets so wrapped up in its commentary on loneliness and the twist that it forgets to generate any other ideas.

For all my complaints and dislike of All of Us Strangers, all performances are fantastic, and Haigh sure knows his way around a camera. The scene in the nightclub is electric, dizzying, with bursting neon light. A scene of Adam alone on the London tube is harrowing; reduced to a child again, alone, lost, and afraid. When Adam first sees his father’s ghostly figure across a field, there’s a genuine sense of unease and peril. Scenes without dialogue stun with their keen eye for light, space, and movement. There is an originality hiding in All of Us Strangers, lost to the sparsity of its message and the hollowness of its emotional centre.'

[snugglyporos]

// Okay, so those of you who are okay with family drama, and possible paranoid delusions, I need someone to check my logic here to know if I'm totally off base when dealing with my mother.

So. For those unaware, my mom is convinced that my neighbor is a psychopath who apparently loudly fantasizes about kidnapping and murdering her.

Now, that's an alarming statement. It is very serious. And, if true, is rather worrying, because well, murder and also I live here and that would be a threat to myself and my family members.

However, only she can hear them, apparently. She claims that she hears them talking and arguing through the wall. When she has me come to listen, I cannot hear them. She also claims that earplugs do in fact change how well she can hear them.

Now, rather than try to discuss or refute past claims, I want to focus specifically on claims made this morning, including about five minutes ago, that there are people over there talking.

Now, I know for a fact that there are at least 5 people in the family. Of them, three are driving age: father, mother, oldest daughter. They have at least three cars: white suv, white toyota, and a black sedan. I can confirm that the black sedan was gone since at least 7 am when I woke up, and that it has not returned home.

About half an hour ago, the daughter and mother left. I watched the daughter take something out of the toyoda, and get into the white suv with her mother and drive away. This means that two cars are gone, with one of those cars having two drivers in it. Meaning that the third missing vehicle, the black sedan, must in fact have the third driver in it, unless there is a third party that has been undiscovered at this point and was just left alone in their house for some reason.

Third party possibilities aside, I can confirm that they at least are not home right this moment. Meaning, it is impossible for them to also be talking on the phone. Also, while she claims to be able to hear them outside, opening the window did not in fact make them more audible, because suddenly they no longer were talking.

Furthermore, it seems unlikely that she just happens to be present and able to hear the conversations that are about her specifically, when we've literally never met our neighbors.

However, let's return to the realm of facts I can prove and not talk about idle speculation. I've told my mother that the best way to prove the case is to collect evidence; even if I can't hear them, if they are audible then she should be able to record them either through audio or video through her phone. According to her, she can't, because her phone is too full. It's too full to get proof, even if said proof would prove that the neighbor is a psychopath that would kill her, apparently.

She then falls back and says that her being upset means I should believe her. I say that I believe she's hearing things, but that doesn't mean that our neighbor is planning on murdering her; even if she can hear their voices, or thinks she can hear them, she refuses to prove it and doesn't seem to think she needs to prove anything, despite also saying she's talked to the police twice this week about them.

Which, I point out, if she's wrong, means she's possibly having the police harass a totally innocent family. Which, she claims, is impossible, because of what she's heard. Which again, she cannot prove and doesn't think she needs to prove, despite talking about getting restraining orders against them, which she says is hard because she doesn't even know their names, because we've never met them.

Now, moving beyond that, she claims that the other person who apparently is there has a texas accent; I live in Maryland. Not impossible for the person to have such an accent, but she claims that he has a truck which apparently they were talking about keeping things for doing harm to her in. Okay, except the truck in question is also not here at the moment, meaning he can't possibly also be in the house talking right now, and also doesn't belong to that family, because I know that it belongs to a family who lives two doors down in the other direction.

Now, the question would be: does my logical reasoning hold up? If it does, then she's clearly hearing things that do not exist. I know for a fact her brain is physically fine; she was in the hospital not a month ago, and they did both a CAT scan and an MRI, so her brain is fine.

It could be a medication issue; but I do not know what medication might cause that, because I have talked with her doctors and so far they don't seem to believe that she's having these effects.

So the question would become: where is this coming from, and why? But that's a separate question. All of that rests on the question of 'is my logical reasoning based on the evidence I have sound compared to her first person account of events occurring?' Which is what I'm concerned with now, as the first step to determining how serious something is, is to look at the evidence as it currently exists.

[heavenpierceher]

esoteric friendships that i’m certain exist in mtmte but we just don’t see them:

rodimus and tailgate have a big brother/little brother style relationship. like in the “rodimus is a rowdy jackass” way but also he allows himself to express like 0.004% more genuine affection towards tg than other people because i mean cmon look at the little guy. the symbiotic return that tailgate receives in this relationship is being carried places like a purse dogy

swerve and cyclonus rewatching 80s slasher films “why does tailgate call you babygirl” “how about we stop talking for a little while”

cyclonus and ratchet’s mean old crotchety bastard solidarity. in the back of the club arms folded cuz i don’t agree with the music selection

tailgate and first aid will occasionally meet up just to sort of go “ohhhh my gooooddddd oh my fucking GOOOODDDDDD OHHH my GODDDDDD FUUUUUCKKK oh my gooodddddddddd” at each other. they both know exactly what they mean but it’s impenetrable to anyone else

drift is operating under the delusion that he can fix whirl (platonic). whirl is having a GREAT time fucking with his head by pretending to have spectralist visions that entail him getting free drinks

skids is surprisingly very open to being climbed on physically. another free ride for tailgate

chromedome and ratchet’s “oh my god my husband is so fucking exhausting oh my god” solidarity

speaking of which, rewind and tailgate bond over their mutual struggle to unravel their husband’s 27 million emotional firewalls and also watch early 90′s anime reruns

swerve and whirl argue with each other like letterboxd users on twitter. there’s a lot of screaming but trust them it’s a bonding exercise

chromedome and skids have occasional “i have done unspeakable things. we are not going to acknowledge this and instead i will watch you play fallout 4 in total silence” meetings. they both benefit from this experience somehow

magnus and ratchet’s mean old crotchety bastard “oh my god all of you people are fucking insane oh my god” solidarity

putting rodimus and swerve in the same room is an occupational hazard (positive connotation). they are known to escalate games as minor as uno into ship-spanning wagers, usually involving other people’s stuff. rodimus once punched a hole through a wall over wii sports

fortmax and the minibots are bestieeeesssss :3 (they help her forget about The Everything and she lets them be like 50 feet tall)

once drift and cyclonus get over the whole “sorry i played bad cop with you in a misguided attempt to impress the guy crushing on me” thing they like to practice swords with each other. drift always offers to get him a drink afterwards and cyclonus is always like “no” and then shows up an hour later and doesn’t talk to anyone but he’s still there so that counts

tailgate and drift rewatching jidaigeki movies “why does ratchet call you babygirl” “how about we stop talking for a little while”

tailgate and nautica, in a moment of drunken unfiltered weakness, discover that they both have the same sort of “i feel like no one takes me seriously and my emotional openness is offputting to people when all i want is to make genuine emotional connections with others and also when left alone i have a tendency to spiral from feeling useless and like people are only tolerating my presence and don’t actually care about me as a person and my self doubt is tearing me apart internally” thing going on

she also likes carrying him around

everyone likes carrying tailgate around