#you better fucking believe I won’t let you die in vain

[sexynetra]

I’m back bitches, this episode made me too mad I need to scream into the void (tumblr blog)

[jenosbliss]

congratulations on 100 followers!! for the event, can I request 17, 18, and 24 for e2l renjun please? thanks and i hope that you have a great 2024! 🩷

pairing. gn!reader x renjun | genre. enemies to lovers | wc. 1.3k | warnings. mentions of stalking and a fight scene

a/n. hii anon, tysm! I’m really sorry for the delay and believe me the fic was much better in my head T-T

“Are you sure you wanna submit this for the final assessment?” Renjun, the vice president of the writing club, tossed a bunch of papers in front of you.

The sky had turned into a pretty shade of red and pink, the kind beauty which appealed to you, heaving a dreamy sigh you were softly gazing at the calming evening view outside the window when Renjun’s monotonous voice was heard, turning the calmness of the moment into annoyance.

“Yes, you got an issue with that?” frowning, you looked up at him and the papers. “No, not at all…” raising his hands in defence he smirked before leaning close to your face “...it’s just that a high schooler could’ve written better than this.” you scoffed at his words, is he for real?

“And who asked your opinion? Who are you… Shakespeare?” standing up you snatched your thesis from his hands and started packing your bags “Shakespeare? Nah. Your project partner? Bingo!” you wondered if he could be any more annoying every time you were together and to your bad luck he was every time. “For Psychology not Literature.” he tsked “Thought you might need some help.”

“I would rather die than seek help from you Renjun.” you hissed before walking out of the room, away from him. “Wait y/n-” God, I can’t stand him.

–

“Fuck him, what does he even think of himself?” cursing you walked out of the cafe holding your iced americano, the only which can get your mind off Renjun. Why am I even thinking about him?

You were walking down the lonely street back to your apartment trying to focus on the delicious taste of your americano when someone called your name in a slurry voice from behind.

“Y/n… good to see you.” Chaeho slurred, stumbling on his way to you. He was drunk, and the look in his eyes made a shiver run down your spine. “Hi Chaeho, how can I help you today?” you asked moving backwards into the alleyway, he kept closing the distance between you both. “Be mine.” he had you now backed up against the wall, leaning down to face you. “I told you I’m not interested, please leave me alone Chaeho” all efforts to get past him went in vain he harshly pushed you into the wall, hovering above you.

“I told you don’t push me to my limits, what are you so proud of? This pretty face?" Everything happened so quickly that your brain stopped working, your body going limp and a feeling of helplessness settled within you.

He lifted his hand, his fingers about to your face when a voice reverberated in that quiet alley “Touch her and you're dead” Renjun hissed walking towards Chaeho and pushing him off you harshly. He fell down and grunted in pain while Renjun carefully held you by your shoulders, eyes checking your face for any injury.

“Fucking hell…” Chaeho stood up letting out a humourless chuckle, stumbling on his feet to reach both of you. “Get behind me.” Renjun moved in front of you to deal with the drunk man standing in front of him. “Leave before I do something you won’t like, Chaeho.” he said angrily, fisting his hands.

“This is the reason huh? You fucking around with this idiot? Choose him over me? You fucking bitch!” Chaeho had completely ignored Renjun’s warning but what happened next left you shaking in fear.

It happened so quickly that you just stood there for a good five seconds processing the scene in front of you. Chaeho had grabbed a brick lying on the road and lunged at you and Renjun tried to protect you which resulted in him getting hit on his arm by that brick. He kicked Chaeho in the stomach, making him fall to the ground, curling his body in pain.

“Fuck” Renjun groaned in pain garbbing his and turning to you “Are you okay?” Is he for real? He’s the one who got hit and still asking you, tears brimmed once again as you rushed towards him gently grabbing his arms “Are you okay? Let’s go please, let's leave.” you cried pulling at the hem of his sleeve gently.

“Let me first make sure he doesn’t bother you again.” he turned towards Chaeho who was on the ground grunting in pain. “Don’t you ever take her name with this filthy mouth of yours…” Renjun yanked his head up, grabbing him by his hair to face him “... and if i ever see you near her again, I’ll not think twice before beating the fucking lights out of you.” he stood up holding your hand and walking out of the alley towards your apartment.

“Can I walk you home?” Renjun asked once both of you were out in a busy street. “Please.” You still cannot get the image of what happened earlier out of your mind and also the thoughts of what could’ve happened if Renjun hadn’t shown up on time.

“Thank you for saving me.” whispering you shifted closer to him when a group of men passed by you. Noticing this Renjun took your hand in his and pulled you to his side. “Don’t thank me for that… also please stop using such dangerous streets especially when you are alone.”

“I’ll never take that route from now… I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess.” tears streamed down your cheeks. Renjun for you was someone you had hated with all your heart and now that he protected you, a feeling of guilt settled within you. The day he yelled at you for touching his belongings, you had liked him and were just helping him manage his stuff, you have always assumed the worst of him. Whatever he did always made you loathe him more. But now you reflect back on how wrong you’ve always been, how Renjun has never done anything wrong to you and how he saved you.

“Y/n what happened wasn’t your fault, it’s that jerk who does not what a no means. And you did not drag me into anything, I had to show him his place, he should be thankful I only punched him once.” Renjun chuckled trying to lighten the mood but it only made you think about the worst scenarios.

“You could’ve died Renjun! What if that brick had hit you head instead of your arm? Why did you even save me?” If he hates you then he could’ve just walked past by the whole situation, why did he stop? Why did he help you? Why was he even there on that street?

“It's my life over yours, don't you get that?” He had stopped in his tracks, holding your shoulders firmly. “But why? Don’t you hate me? Hate me so much that you won’t even let me touch your belongings? That you’ll point out my flaws? That I’m an unworthy person in your eyes?” All the questions and feelings you’ve been ignoring since years of knowing him just flew past your lips. How can you think straight in a moment of such raw emotions?

“How could I hate you? Each time I see you or am with you I just fall for you deeper… I like you y/n.” He gently held your face in between his palms, wiping the tears cascading down your cheeks as he looked in your eyes “I love you.” He confessed.

“Then why-” would he pretend to hate you all this time? “The day I yelled at you was because I was so in love with you that the sketchbook you were about to pick up was filled with your sketches and I got nervous and just yelled… I’m really sorry.” He smiled, thumb gently tracing over the softness of your cheeks.

“You’re the most perfect person in my eyes, and I always just wanted to help you achieve what you deserve. I had corrected your essay and was going to give it to you when I saw Chaeho and you. I’m sorry that I hurt you, that weren’t my intentions-”

“I love you Renjun.” Pulling him down, you kissed him softly. “Are you serious? You can’t be joking.” Smiling, you kissed him once again, “I love you. And thank you for the essay but mine’s better.”

“No way, It’s so poorly written!” Renjun fake winced, pulling you in a tight hug and confessing again “I love you.”

navigation.

masterlist. nct dream | nct 127 | wayv

100 follower event 🌷

[aincretop]

[Verse 1: Zack Hemsey]

Let ‘em touch me Let ‘em seek to try and rush me Let me crack the hourglass To end this waiting so they can crush megl My living it tempts the bent of path Whose wrath would see me burned But my strokes of luck have struck a cord With swords of those who’ve learned And I’ve turned to face the beastI’ll be silenced to say the least But I’ll cease to fear the fear that wrecks this puzzle that I’ve pieced As I embattle this counter siegeMy liege self will stealthy die‘ Cause with so many guns and only oneThere’s no one to fortify So know that I decry with certainty Flirting with my insurgency While cursing this incursion that’s curing despite the hurting See I’m dangerous And it’s worth the curse‘ Cause if I don’t it’s worseSo motherfuckers better bring the hearseAnd understand My nimble mind ain’t got time to deal with lies alive inside a fucking prison‘ Cause I’m ridden With notions that oceans of life await me So I’ll take my chances dancing with the death to breathe in safety

[Chorus: Zack Hemsey]

‘Cause the amaranth sees in amaranthine dreams And the predator sees what sort of predator screams And it’s the same old plot Denying they took the first shot Must have been that crazy man deserving what he got‘ Cause the amaranth sees in amaranthine dreams And the predator sees what sort of predator screamsAnd it’s the same old plot Denying they took the first shot Must have been that crazy man deserving what he got

[Verse 2: Chad McCarthy & Zack Hemsey] Leaning on door planks with spinning, smoking techsI’m grinning Focused let’s begin this locus fest Lord of the fliesOrders to dieSlaughter your lies Bordered up prideSo despite the vast blood loss The pain will just ride And in vain I must cry To judge freedom I fight forthTo test the right courseAnd plug up life’s forceWith clots of mic cordsSo electrifying Phenetix speaks easyAnd the freedom of speech flows freely From each individual, see me Crunch time decision maker Spin a web but weave a tale to buy your time So you can make or break or run for it Fuck this shit Stand my ground and make a gun for itSo when I turn to bustYou must realize that you want none of thisIn the depths of my being I free demons To search for the reason of malfeasance That be bleeding my breathing Blood of the lamb taintedInfected and holding hatredWith single celled paceI erase my former trace A former case Our contact tract will crack backsAnd backed I hold fast But tracked I won’t lastSee seemingly streaming’s the proper means of my seething And I’m concealing conceiving while I’m conceiving deceiving The reaper speaks so fucking furious Marksmen can snipe for miles And the sparks can wipe the smiles Them too smart to light the trialsYour heart’s piped inside of vials Behind mills between the silo Cry slow for your survival Hence the truth will never die though

[Chorus: Zack Hemsey]‘

Cause the amaranth sees in amaranthine dreamsAnd the predator sees what sort of predator screams And it’s the same old plot Denying they took the first shotMust have been that crazy man deserving what he got‘ Cause the amaranth sees in amaranthine dreamsAnd the predator sees what sort of predator screamsAnd it’s the same old plot Denying they took the first shot Must have been that crazy man deserving what he got

[Verse 3: Zack Hemsey & Chad McCarthy]

Auuuhhh....Let ‘em try and take me Let ‘em seek to taunt and taint me Let ‘em try to talk me downAnd shake my spirit so they can break me Two lines for every side of the story *grunting* The sly and the sorry The violence is gory Elude the lies that are luringI don’t walk in secret *grunting* And I don’t stalk in seasons With iniquitous rhythms (come on) my system is seizing this treason Believe in the problem solver A revolver to clap at you bastards (come on)

Actual actions Find the demons marching Matching your passions Demons are feeding *grunting* And breeding My inner self explodes With weapons of mass destruction And tension to sunder its suction Corruption consumption Conducting, constructing eruption of these dungeonsI bludgeon all ‘till they fallSee my grave is raisedMy contempt’s been gaugedNow this motherfucking rage has found a helpful sage And these blades are coldInflicting cuts untold And this day is of a shade that’s of a fadeless moldI spin around and pound the gavelI spin around and smooth the gravel To prepare a bed for the bastards that flew the sparrowModern day arrows pierce fort walls that do surround me Drops of sap from the seeds I’ve sewn flood the ground around meSurreal but yet astounding Truth speaker turned to martyr Prepare the fledgelings to flock from the nest to teach the rest Without the vest they are the starter Of Desert Eagles hunting Spray stray shots to aid the chaos so they don’t come in

[Outro]

*scream* *gunshots and war sounds*

do you wanna see my Bunny

[arrowstheory]

ARROW THEORY HOMBRE 7 TS101 Part2

start, at, www.kuby.pl in ninety-one languages in chapter TS001. HOMBRE 7 part 2

Then you are sinless because you have no conscience. You can die in peace and without the sins that have been sold and lie on the table with your conscience like lungs and liver on a board next to a knife before they go bad. Today you will not understand what and why. Ridiculous and irrelevant conscience? And any sins? Who has ever seen a kilo of sin? who?

Pretekineters riding in sweaters in a carriage along the brook see your sins that you will commit when you are young. They see your sins that are not childhood sins, and they see your sins that your old age complains about. The carriage creaks, the stream hums. The long fingers of pretekineters have manicured long nails. The long fingers of the pretekineters point at you not now, but every time.

Sins. Sins. Sins. Sins. Sins. Grzeszkichy. Sins. Sins. Sins. Sins.

Here write in pencil (or blood, but not your own!) those sins that you will NEVER commit. Now write below: ALEM SE smeared (FOR) * IN THE DIARY! *delete as appropriate.

You are now a different person in front of you and nothing will change that. It doesn't matter that the page was blown away by the wind, oblivion. It doesn't change anything.

What, are you afraid to even imagine such sins?!!!! Is it so hard???!

What about: I WILL NEVER KILL ANYONE? can this sin be put on the list of NEVER COMMITTED SINS in the future?

And what about: I WILL NOT SELL A MAN FOR VIRTUAL MONEY?

And what about: I WILL NOT GIVE AN ORDER THAT WILL MAKE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE DIE FROM SLOW FOOD POISONING?

And what about: I WILL NOT MUSE MY GOD'S NAME IN vain? (because then he won't hear me when I really want something from him)

What about: I WILL NOT JUDGE AN EIGHTY YEAR OLD GRANDMA'S FITNESS FOR LIFE?

Oh well. Let's just say this is a really stupid list.

Maybe it will be easier for you to list - sins ALWAYS COMMITTED:

For example

I ALWAYS LIE I STILL LUST MY FRIENDS' WIVES, I passionately envy my friends' clothes and covet their husbands, I ALWAYS TURN WHEN PEOPLE KNOW I JUST HATE EVERYONE I consider myself a good person! ALWAYS AND EVERYWHERE ! I STAY SILENT WHEN THEY ASK ME FOR MY OPINION, I WILL GO TO HEAVEN FOR SURE

Let's stop there, otherwise part of the cemetery for suicides will increase in size.

Now it will be better if you close this book and stop reading until you rethink your attitude towards yourself. Don't open it again when you come to conformism. Also, do not read it when your morality is doubled. Better to be godless than to believe in what is convenient or very convenient.

And so ? * Now we're fucking some illustration here so that those who fly through the text further and further out of habit, have time to turn off the eye and brain from the clamor of letters and half-senses. And close this book finally!

start, at, www.kuby.pl in ninety-one languages in chapter TS001.

#kuby.pl

[fawnhoards]

a collection of dialogue from season one of netflix’s dragon age: absolution. to be used as sentence starters. as per usual, feel free to change pronouns or whatever you see fit. mentions / implications of death, murder, violence.

❝   now you know i hate to question your decisions, but—   ❞ ❝   just couldn’t stick to the plan, could ya?   ❞ ❝   always so sure you know better.   ❞ ❝   i don’t care about your apologies.   ❞ ❝   please, not here.   ❞ ❝   so nice to finally meet you in person.   ❞ ❝   next time, aim a little more to the right.   ❞ ❝   seems like a good time for a new venture.   ❞ ❝   you were magnificent, you know that?   ❞ ❝   people like us don’t change the world.   ❞ ❝   people pay you more to blow stuff up if it’s for something they believe in.   ❞ ❝   we have a very small window of time.   ❞ ❝   you’re our only hope of pulling this off.   ❞ ❝   will you help us, please?   ❞ ❝   i should have told you everything, and for that, i’m sorry.   ❞ ❝   i’ve left it at that. i suggest you do the same.   ❞ ❝   you can’t be serious.   ❞ ❝   i’ve survived things that make the deep roads look like a pleasant stroll.   ❞ ❝   i assure you, you’ll lose your nerve long before i will.   ❞ ❝   lengthen your stride and shut the fuck up!   ❞ ❝   hold. state your business.   ❞ ❝   light of the maker shine upon you.   ❞ ❝   we won’t be here for long, okay?   ❞ ❝   i don’t like the sound of ‘could’.   ❞ ❝   ain’t it obvious? we’re the muscle.   ❞ ❝   if you’re trying to distract me, it won’t work.   ❞ ❝   fair play on that one.   ❞ ❝   i don’t like your implication there, friend.   ❞ ❝   what happened here?   ❞ ❝   i just can’t stay out of trouble.   ❞ ❝   you think that did anything except risk our mission?   ❞ ❝   do you want to talk about it?   ❞ ❝   if you don’t come back, i’ll kill you myself.   ❞ ❝   that’s more your problem than mine, ain’t it?   ❞ ❝   tevinter is home to the most powerful magic in the world.   ❞ ❝   careful, you might offend the chantry.   ❞ ❝   spirits, demons, they’re all dangerous.   ❞ ❝   i, for one, cannot recall any good coming from something powered by murder.   ❞ ❝   maker’s breath, don’t you think that’s worth investigating?   ❞ ❝   i am not letting you face one of those things alone.   ❞ ❝   many before you have sought to bring back the dead, and failed.   ❞ ❝   by name and by nature, mortals are doomed to die.   ❞ ❝   nothing goes against nature without consequence.   ❞ ❝   just because something hasn’t been done doesn’t mean it can't be done.   ❞ ❝   i won’t risk losing you.   ❞ ❝   please don’t make me protect you from yourself.   ❞ ❝   one way or another, this will all be over soon.   ❞ ❝   i mean, he’s cute, but yikes.   ❞ ❝   you think i’m scared of you?   ❞ ❝   no one ever saves people like us.   ❞ ❝   i have always wanted my own song.   ❞ ❝   well, there goes my last vain hope that this was an accident.   ❞ ❝   i don’t need your protection.   ❞ ❝   it’s pronounced ‘thank you’.   ❞ ❝   i’m here to help, for some reason!   ❞ ❝   but i just got you back.   ❞ ❝   aw, maker’s titties.   ❞ ❝   less talk, more run.   ❞ ❝   no one’s going to hurt you. you’re with me now.   ❞ ❝   i’d prefer not to kill you, but i will.   ❞ ❝   blood magic is not the answer.   ❞ ❝   now is not the time for great moral stances.   ❞ ❝   you can’t tell me this doesn’t feel weird.   ❞ ❝   well, of course it doesn’t make sense when you say it like that.   ❞ ❝   i have nothing to say to you.   ❞ ❝   that isn’t fair and you know it.   ❞ ❝   i’ve made mistakes. but they were mine.   ❞ ❝   you live because i will it.   ❞ ❝   are you really trying to claim the high ground?   ❞ ❝   are you really the last one to figure out that you’re the villain?   ❞ ❝   hey, look at you, making good choices.   ❞ ❝   you’re holding it wrong.   ❞ ❝   no one ever saves us. so we save us.   ❞ ❝   hey, that is a completely unfair assumption.   ❞ ❝   i just need you to say that i’m more important than this.   ❞ ❝   holy crap, we’re alive!   ❞ ❝   i am, uh, usually not this lucky.   ❞ ❝   you don’t have to come. i won’t hold it against you.   ❞ ❝   i will have my war.   ❞ ❝   and after this, we can go to the hinterlands and make cheese for all i care, so long as we’re together.   ❞ ❝   that’s the thing everyone forgets about dragons. they aren’t monsters, or gods. they’re just alive, like us.   ❞ ❝   as much as i love hearing about my failings in the eyes of the maker, i thought a walk might be a bit more pleasant.   ❞ ❝   i won’t say i’m not scared, 'cause i am... extremely scared, but i know this is the right thing to do, so i’m definitely gonna help you anyway.   ❞

[dalekofchaos]

Why Poe and Rose’s positions in TLJ should’ve been switched and why Finn and Poe NEEDED to be together

You know what would’ve made the whole Canto Bight sequence even better? If it had been Finn and Poe. 

Why? Here’s the problem with Rose. Finn, a CHILD SOLDIER doesn’t need explaining that war and slavery are bad.  You know who needed to understand the lesson that war and slavery are bad? POE! You know who could have taught him that and had a similar falling in love storyline? FINN!  

And honestly? Rose should’ve been the one who had the big confrontation with Holdo. 

If you read the novel TLJ:Cobalt Squadron. You will know it ends with Rose serving on Holdo's ship the Ninka. Now imagine this. Rose just lost her sister and Holdo is withholding information that is vital to the Resistance’s survival. Rose is kept in the dark and believes this will be the end of everything and doesn’t want Paige’s sacrifice to be in vain. So Rose covers Finn and Poe’s escape to Canto Bight and works with Connix and those loyal to Poe and leads a mutiny against Holdo. Remember. Holdo didn’t just leave Poe in the dark, she left THE ENTIRE RESISTANCE in the dark.  So Rose would lead the mutiny and Leia would awaken to stop her, only Leia would not stun her. Leia would talk Rose down, ya know, like Leia would actually do.

Imagine this. Instead of Canto Bight, we see Finn and Poe going to First Order labor camp to free the Master Codebreaker. On the journey, we see Finn telling Poe about his upbringing. About vivid memories of someone dying to keep him safe and being taken by The First Order.  We see Finn and Poe differ for their philosophies. Finn sees The First Order as monsters, but believes there is a chance that there could be more Stormtroopers like him to leave. Poe sees Stormtroopers all the same, but recognizes that Finn was the only one brave enough to say no. 

So Finn witnesses more children being taken by The First Order. Poe’s eyes are on freeing The Master Codebreaker and getting out, but sees an opening to destroying the entire camp while saving the Codebreaker. Finn refuses to let anymore children be taken to be made Stormtroopers and won’t allow Poe to kill the kids in the camp.  So Finn and Poe clash, Finn about saving the kids and suggesting not all Stormtroopers are the same and have the capability to leave, Poe believing all Stormtroopers are cogs in the machine and saving The Resistance is more important than saving a small group of kids and we finally get to see Finn confront Poe about killing his friend Slip. “Do you know why I finally had enough and left? The only friend I had in the Stormtrooper corps was killed on Jakku. Do you know who killed him? You did Poe. He marked me with his blood and then I realized...we’re firing on innocent civilians. We never had a choice. Everyone of us could run from The FIrst Order or even fight, but you don’t see it that way. It’s kill or be killed. This is why I wanted to run away, this isn’t my war, this war TOOK EVERYTHING from me” Poe feels remorse and is taken aback,  until Poe sees that everyone in the camp....they’re all children. He sees the children being forced to become Stormtroopers and The Master Codebreaker...is nonother than Lando Calrissian.

And finally Poe goes “okay new plan buddy, we’re gonna rescue everyone here and burn the place to the ground”

Having Finn and Poe being the ones on adventures gives us more depth to their relationship

We have Finn opening Poe’s eyes to the true atrocities of The First Order

Poe at first is stuck in his ways, but realize there is something more important than blowing up the bad guys

Finn’s character and past isn’t ignored and we don’t have someone talking down to him on why war and slavery are bad

Finn gets to confront Poe about Slip

This would prove Rian was wrong. There was potential to send Finn and Poe on an adventure that could challenge their relationship and help them grow as characters

While we still have a tense dynamic, we have a relationship that is based on love and understanding instead of constant bickering and tazing

We have gay representation in Star Wars

As for why Lando? Let’s look at Maz’s description for the Master Codebreaker "He's a master codebreaker, an ace pilot, a poet with a blaster." That sure does sound like fucking Lando to me. It still baffles me that they gave us a casino planet in TLJ but then chose to not include Lando in that setting although he was introduced as a gambler back in TESB. Lando informs them both that Lando got a tip that The First Order could track through hyperspace and was on the way to help The Resistance, but they captured him. And after saving the kids and taking them to safety, Finn, Poe and Lando are on their way to disabled the hyperspace tracker. We also get to see Lando and FInn both grieve for Han. So yes, Lando would be able to disable the Hyperspace tracker, but Phasma would catch them on their way to the escape pods. And Phasma’s death would be the deleted death scene and be the starting point for the Stormtrooper rebellion.

It would be Poe who would be the one trying to sacrifice himself. Poe has spent the entire film watching others die and give their lives and he’s never backed down and he’s learned that what this war has wrought on the galaxy.  But Finn saves him. I don’t think Finn would have the same speech. Maybe Finn could say this. "It isn't worth winning, if we lose ourselves in hate and can't save who we love." And then Finn kisses Poe. 

It's not worth fighting if Poe is going to die because Finn no longer cares the most about running away with Rey, Finn has fallen in love with Poe. This piece of knowledge gives an entirely different context to the scene, especially when you realize the dialogue was just poorly written to convey the intended message, "this war isn't worth winning without you" and ironically this theme is extremely prevalent when it comes to war. Most people aren't fighting for an ambiguous entity like The Republic or The Resistance, they're fighting for someone special. Han wasn't there for The Rebellion, he was there for Luke and Leia. Look at any war movie or talk to real-life soldiers, they've got picture of their wives, girlfriends or children that they carry with them, most of them are not fighting for their respective nation or what they believe in, but for who they love.

[salemwritesxx]

𝓷𝓸 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓱𝓲𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰.

𝔹 𝔸 𝕂 𝕌 𝔾 𝕆 𝕌   𝕂 𝔸 𝕋 𝕊 𝕌 𝕂 𝕀

     ⇴ male reader [pro-hero]      ⇴ all characters are depicted as [18]+

↳ summary: You are Katsuki’s little secret, since he can’t be open about your relationship. Inevitably, all falls apart eventually when you want to attend the pride parade in Tokyo and you want Bakugou to come with you.

↣ rating: general audiences ↣ warnings: bakugou being insecure about his sexuality, an argument/fight break-up in the beginning but fluffy at the end, coming out, fluff

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

“I just don’t understand why you won’t come with me?!”

“You know damn fucking well why!”, Katsuki argued back, his already loud voice reaching it’s peak. You had been fighting for quite some time.

“I just don’t know why the fuck you keep being so… stubborn! UGH!”, you really had to hold yourself back to not punch the next wall, thus you went away from the situation into the living room. Katsuki, however, following you immediately.

“You knew when we started dating that I… I can’t be open about this stuff!”, he screamed again, though became quieter at the end. His stiff shoulders relaxing a little when he sighed.

“Why can’t you understand and fucking respect that??”

“Look!”, you suddenly stood up again, meeting him eye to eye, “I understand, okay?! I know not everyone can be open, but fuck- Katsuki. It’s been almost a year since we started dating??”

You sighed and rubbed over your face before falling back into the couch.

“I just thought this time around I could already openly show my affection towards you.”

Bakugou felt guilty and bad. He knew he wasn’t easy to date. Always being cautious no one would see or notice. Always hiding. Just so no one would find out Bakugou Katsuki was into men. He knew he hurt you.

“I’m sorry, okay? But I can’t…”, he barely mumbled, then also sighed.

“Okay. Fine.”, and Bakugou really thought that’s it when you said that, but…

“And I am sorry but I can’t continue this relationship.”

And it truly was like someone punched him in his face and kicked him in his balls all at the same time.

“Wha- Wai- I- What?”, he stammered, ruby eyes widened.

“You heard me. I’m sorry. But I am done being treated like your dirty little secret.”, you said, and with that, you stood up and walked past him.

 ----

“HEEYY BRO!”, your friend shouted while semi-walking and kind of dancing towards you with two alcoholic drinks in his hand.

The music was loud. The temperature gruesome. But seeing so many people, proud and happy, made you also happy. It was also a nice way to try and forget what happened last week, the inevitable break up with your boyfriend… and you really thought you could give him strength to come out eventually.

“Thanks, Aki.”, you said, more shouted against the music, when he gave you something to drink.

While faking a small smile, you watched as he danced back into the crowd as you just walked on the sidelines, wishing that you could have brought Bakugou with you and just enjoy this moment. How much you yearned to just drink and be cute with your boyfriend during this parade so everyone could see and he wouldn’t care.

But it wasn’t that simple and it wasn’t your responsibility to force him out of the closet. But… it WAS your responsibility to do what was best for yourself and you knew you couldn’t keep on waiting.

.

Bakugou knew he had to do something. He loved you. And he wasn’t willing to give up on you or the relationship you had. Katsuki wanted to be together with you. He also knew very well that he shouldn’t be hiding anymore. He had been scared people wouldn’t want to be saved by him anymore, that his career as a hero would die if he was open about his sexuality, but… you had always been open. And yet, you were, just like him, in the Top Ten of Japan’s Pro-Heroes and there had never been an instance where someone commented on your sexuality negatively.

Maybe, he just lied to himself. People were much more accepting, even praising you for being an idol to young queer kids. But, for him, not wanting people to know you were together was safer than having to break up and explain things, yet… Katsuki was ready to get you back and tell everyone he loved you. No more hiding. No more lies. Just being honest and open and vulnerable.

But for god’s sake getting through this fucking crowd was almost impossible.

“Fucking Jesus, where the hell are you?!”, he growled to himself while hastily looking around. So many people. How did he think he was able to find you in such a big parade?

And it was so damn hot, too. Ugh! Why couldn’t he realize all of these things a few days ago, then he could have easily walked up to your door and talk to you, but no. Then again, Bakugou DID want to prove to you he was ready to change, so there was no better place than during this parade. Though, if he couldn’t find you, everything was in vain.

“KitKat…”

When he heard those words, a jolt went through his body, making Katsuki stand there stiffly for a few seconds, just to slowly turn around in the end. There was only one person who was able to utter this nickname without getting murdered.

You stared at him in disbelief just as much as he stared back at you with wide eyes and in shock. He wasn’t prepared to suddenly be found and not be the one finding you.

“What are you do-“, you wanted to ask, however, were interrupted by Bakugou sprinting towards you and into your arms. And it felt right holding him again – fuck.

“Wait, Kat-“

But before you could say anymore, he had grabbed your neck and pulled you towards him, connecting your lips in the middle of the streets while people were walking past you. Some even cheering and howling while doing so.

It was just a short kiss, before he pulled back to look into your [eye.color] eyes.

“I love you, [Your.name]. And I’m sorry. I know you deserve better, like fuck, look at me. I am trash.”

“You’re hot trash though.”, you teased him with a grin, thankfully making him snort and playfully punch you.

“I will be open. No more hiding. Life’s too fucking short to worry about what others think. Sorry it took so long to understand. Can you forgive me?”

The music was still blasting, the crowd cheering, yet, you heard him perfectly and it really warmed your heart. Thus, with a smile on your lips, you nodded.

“Yeah. Forgiven and Forgotten.”

So, you pulled him closer, your arms wrapped around his smaller frame as your lips collided once more, not caring about anything or anyone other than the man in your arms. And for Bakugou it wasn’t any different. He had never cared about anyone before, about their presumptions about him becoming a villain with his quirk, or him not being suited to be a hero, so why was he so hung up about being gay? Fuck it if anyone knew.

He wasn’t going to hide in any closet ever again.  

And as he grabbed your hand to march alongside you while singing and drinking – Katsuki knew it was the right decision and he would never regret it.

---

The next morning, he found himself hugged against your body while your head was snuggled into his pecs, which elicit a small snort from him. Yeah… waking up like that was something he had missed the last week. As he looked to the side though, Katsuki saw his phone blinking and lighting up wildly – something was going on.

And soon, he found out what had been going on. His agency was calling and he was tagged in way too many Twitter posts, because someone had snapped a photo of him and you yesterday during the pride parade, embraced and kissing. This was now going around the internet. But for once, he didn’t give a fuck about it.

Instead, he fueled the fire when he flopped back into the bed and snapped a photo of himself, flipping them off and with you visibly cuddling him. His caption: Just woke up like this. Happy Pride Month, fuckers!

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

@salemwritesxx || do not repost, edit, modify or translate my works

⇻ salem.talks: happy pride month y’all, let’s be loud and proud of who we are 🌈 usually I believe baku wouldn’t give two fucks about what others think about him, but for the sake of this story I might have made him a bit ooc

[metalprompts]

*      🤘   ―    ﴾  𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎  𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜  ﴿   :   𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐆𝐎𝐃  𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄  𝐆𝐎𝐃  𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐒  𝐌𝐄.

the  following  has  been  taken  from  the  2019  album  by  BAD  OMENS.  feel  free  to  change  and  adjust  anything  as  needed.

𝙼𝙴𝚁𝙲𝚈.

" i’ve  been  searching  high  and  low. “

“ we’ll  beg  god  for  a  mercy  that  he  knows  we’d  never  show. “

“ there’s  a  candle  melting  and  it’s  burning  at  both  ends. “

“ like  a  moth  to  a  flame  you  never  should  have  fucking  lit. “

“ you  can  give  sight  to  the  blind  but  you  can’t  force  them  to  see. “

“ you  could  take  us  back  in  time  but  it  wouldn’t  change  a  thing. “

“ if  god  came  down  from  his  kingdom  and  we  asked  him  if  he’d  take  us  back,  he  would  surely  tell  us  no. “

“ if  god  came  down  from  his  throne  and  we  asked  him  if  he’d  take  us  back,  he  would  tell  us  we  can’t  go. “

“ the  end  is  where  the  start  begins. “

“ if  we  made  it  out,  i  know  that  we  would  do  it  all  again. “

“ we  live  and  die  in  vain  like  treasure  on  a  sinking  ship. “

“ all  in  the  name  of  a  god  we’d  just  abandon  and  forget. “

“ we’re  dying  everyday. “

“ is  it  all  in  vain ? “

“ is  it  worth  the  suffering ? “

“ is  it  worth  the  price  we  paid ? “

“ it  wouldn’t  change  a  fucking  thing. “

𝚂𝙰𝙸𝙳  &  𝙳𝙾𝙽𝙴.

" don’t  you  see  me  with  my  soul  on  my  sleeve ? “

“ don’t  you  leave  me  with  the  hope  and  belief  that  you’re  coming  for  me. “

“ was  i  not  good  enough ? “

“ was  i  not  good  enough ?  worthy  of  being  loved ? “

“ were  you  ashamed  or  just  afraid ? “

“ when  i’ve  given  up  and  all  is  said  and  done,  will  you  just  look  the  other  way ? “

“ i’m  sinking  to  the  floor  of  the  sea  where  you  want  me  to  be. “

“ i  waited  but  nobody  called. “

“ i  waited  for  nothing  at  all. “

“ i’d  rather  die  young  than  die  alone. “

“ the  world’s  a  stage  and  i’m  just  a  show. “

𝙱𝚄𝚁𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝙾𝚄𝚃.

" can  you  keep  a  secret ? “

“ i  thought  i  lost  myself  trying  to  find  a  hidden  meaning  in  all  the  lies  you’d  tell. “

“ when  you  think  i’ve  said  enough,  tell  me  and  i’ll  bite  my  tongue. “

“ i  was  lost  but  now  i’m  found. “

“ we’re  not  perfect  but  we’re  proud  of  who  we  are. “

“ i  thought  i’d  left  all  the  pain  behind  me. “

“ i  thought  i’d  left  all  the  pain  behind  me  but  when  i  turned  around,  you  pulled  me  back  into  the  darkness  and  wouldn’t  let  me  out. “

“ you  can’t  just  run  from  sadness. “

“ you  can’t  just  run  from  sadness  when  it  gets  too  hard  to  stay. “

𝙸𝙵  𝙸'𝙼  𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴.

“ there  are  scars  that  never  show  themselves  you  get  when  you're  left  alone  too  long  in  hell. “

“ they  tried  to  keep  in  the  secrets  that  you  wouldn’t  tell. “

“ i’m  there  to  catch  you  when  you  fall. “

“ you’ll  have  a  friend  down  in  hell  after  all. “

“ if  you’re  there  to  catch  me  when  i  fall,  then  maybe  hell  ain’t  so  bad  after  all. “

“ i  didn’t  want  to  believe  how  much  you  needed  help  and  i  just  left  you  to  be  all  by  yourself. “

“ i  wish  i  had  seen  that  you  weren’t  doing  well. “

“ build  me  up  or  tear  me  down,  i’ll  never  make  a  sound. “

𝙽𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁  𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆.

" show  me  you’re  better  off  without  me. “

“ don’t  breathe  another  word  about  me. “

“ when  i  go  out  into  the  world,  i  just  don’t  like  what  i  see. “

“ you  call  it  paradise  but  it  looks  just  like  hell  to  me. “

“ i  dont  know  which  way  to  go,  but  maybe  i’m  okay  to  never  know. “

𝙻𝙸𝙼𝙸𝚃𝚂.

" you  set  me  up  as  a  villain. “

“ you  set  me  up  as  a  villain  but  you  never  mentioned  the  root  of  the  problem. “

“ you  won’t  be  dragging  my  name  to  the  bottom. “

“ if  you’re  throwing  me  to  the  lions,  you  should  know  i’m  not  scared  of  dying. “

“ i  wouldn’t  take  back  one  thing  i  did  or  one  word  i  said. “

“ i  wouldn’t  take  back  one  thing  i  did  or  one  word  i  said  but  i’m  gonna  make  you  wish  you  did. “

[gohan111111]

Vegeta (Dragon Ball Z)

NSFW ABC Headcannons

Gif:@msdbzbabe

A = Aftercare(What they're like after sex)

Ok, Vegeta might be an asshole most of the time but he understands the importance of aftercare. 

He knows he can do a number on you, especially if your human. 

He’ll make sure you’ve cleaned up and all bandaged up(we all know it’s gonna get rough with this man).

B = Body part(Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

Vegeta loves his muscels.

He’s a vain man, that’s all there is to it.

He loves your chest. 

He often finds himself staring at your chest, admiring how broad/big your chest is.

C = Cum(Anything to do with cum basically)

This man has a breeding kink, so he loves to cum inside you.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy seeing his/yours on your chest and stomach.

D = Dirty(Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He would rather die than anyone finds this out…

He enjoys wearing thigh-high socks.

They keep his legs warm, is his excuse. 

E = Experience(How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

Vegeta isn’t a virgin but he hasn’t had many partners.

He’s had just enough to know what he likes and to know what he’s doing.

F = Favorite Position(This goes without saying.)

This man loves to take you against the wall. 

He’ll pin to out of nowhere and start grinding.

G = Goofy(Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc...)

Vegeta is a very serious guy, so of course, he’d be serious in the moment.

But he will let out a snide remark every once in a while.

H = Hair(How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc...)

Vegeta doesn’t see the point of shaving that. 

He says you’re gonna enjoy it anyway.

The most this he does is trim it so it’s not a jungle down there.

I = Intimacy(How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)

Sex with Vegeta is filled with dirty talk and teasing.

He can be very romantic if he wants to be but in his own Vegeta way.

If he’s not in a pissed-off mood or the sex isn’t rough at the moment, he’ll rub your sides, thighs, and arms to show he cares.

J = Jack off(Masturbation headcanon)

It mostly happens after a rough training session and you’re not available. 

When Goku and he were on Beerus’s planet training with Whis, Vegeta was very sexually frustrated.

He took care of himself every night.

K = Kink(One or more of their kinks)

Breeding- Saiyans are a very primal race, so it makes sense for him and most Saiyans to have a breeding kink/the urge to have kids.

Pregnancy- This goes along with the breeding kink of Saiyans. Saiyan love to see their mate with a child. It makes them have a sense of pride and arousal knowing they did that.

Bondage- He just loves when you’re defenseless against him.

Hair pulling- He likes pulling your hair, yes but he loves it when you entangle your fingers in his head of spikes and pull. He wants you to be rough.

King- He loves to be called King Vegeta. I feel like it spurs from the fact his rightful place as King of all Saiyans was ripped from him, as he’d phrase it.

L= Location(Favorite places to do the do)

His favorite place to have sex is the gravity chamber. 

When you bring him something to drink or a snack during or after a training session be prepared.

You’re gonna be pinned against that wall.

M = Motivation(What turns them on, gets them going)

Especially if you don’t train often, he really enjoys seeing you spare or train.

Seeing you in his armor/Orignal Saiyan armor also turns him on.

N = No(Something they won't do, turn off, etc...?)

He will not do anything with shit or piss.

He’s not going to judge if you do but he won’t have anything to do with that.

O = Oral(Preference is giving or receiving, skills, etc...)

As vain as this man is he’d rather do down on you than have you go down on him.

He enjoys being locked between your thighs. 

He once told you if he suffocated and died going down on you that it’d be an honorable death.

P = Pace(Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc..)

Vegeta is a very rough lover.

He loves the fast pace during his normally rough moments.

But that doesn’t mean he’s going to stop at 1 round.

Once in a while after or before a rough fight to protect the Earth or the Universe, he’ll pull you in and just kiss you.

That eventually turns into slow and sensual, passionate sex.

After one of those sessions, you’ll sleep in late and wake up to an empty bed, worrying about his stubborn, prideful ass.

Q = Quickie(Their opinion on quickies, how often, etc?)

Vegeta loves all sex equally.

But he loves quickies like this man will pull you into the gravity chamber, pushing you against the wall and take you right there.

R = Risk(Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc...)

Vegeta is very willing to experiment. 

He has nothing against slapping you around if you like it.

But if you don’t like something he’s not gonna force it on you.

S = Stamina(How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

All I’m gonna say is this man is a Sayian.

*whispers* Infinite rounds

T = Toys(Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Vegeta doesn’t see the point of toys.

On Planet Vegeta, Saiyans usually found their mate quickly before or after their first heat.

Yes, I am one of those people who stand with the heat headcanon.

He thinks he can do way better than any piece of plastic could ever do. 

If he catches you using one, prepare for the longest night of your life.

U = Unfair(How much they like to tease)

This man is a fucking tease.

I mean this is Vegeta we are talking about.

He is the cockiest person anyone could ever know.

If you’re in a relationship with him, I wish you luck.

V = Volume(How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc...)

All your gonna get from Vegeta during the act is grunts and groans.

He is a huge dirty talker though.

But I am a firm believer that all Sayian men, at least once or twice have turned Super Sayian during sex.

Your gonna get yelling then. 

His grunts and groans do get loader when he’s about to finish though.

W = Wild Card(A random headcanon for the character)

Vegeta let you peg/top him one time. 

He actually enjoyed the feeling but he didn’t like how you were in control.

He said he might let you do it again but if you tell anyone he’d kill you.

X = X-ray(Let's see what's going on under those clothes)

I feel like Saiyans didn’t bother with upkeep down there back on planet Vegeta. 

So, Vegeta definitely has a jungle down there.

He only really trims it when it starts to bother him.

I am also a firm believer that all Sayian men are packing and I will not step down from that notion.

I see Vegeta being around 7 or 8 in. but he’s not too girthy.

Y = Yearning(How high is their sex drive?)

Vegeta has a normal sex drive.

But he’s always done to fuck whenever you want to.

I stick with the headcanon that Saiyans go into heat. 

So, during his heat cycle, he is like a horny dog.

That’s also where is breeding kink kicks in big time.

Z = Zzz(How quickly they fall asleep afterward) 

Sex keeps Vegeta awake.

But even if it didn’t he still wouldn’t go right to sleep afterward.

He lays there until he’s sure you’re asleep before he even attempts to go to sleep.

But when he’s sure you’re asleep, wraps a single arm around your waist, pulling you close.

[c-chickens]

((Spoilers for up to chapter 125 of JJK))

I’ve been wanting to tackle this topic for awhile now and have touched on it super briefly before, but I want to explore what kind of dynamic itadori and fushi have, the effect it has on them, and how the events of the shibuya arc will possibly impact them in future arcs. In previous instances I feel I had a stronger ground to stand on in terms of things like “evidence” and things like that, but this time around will have a lot more speculation and personal interpretation than usual.

So, with that being said, let's begin by first talking about fushi’s decision to save itadori in the first arc. We know now that it was a selfish choice fueled by personal desire and it completely ignored the potential consequences that spring up later in the manga. Now, fushi isn’t dumb, he knew exactly what he was doing: right before gojo swoops in the save the day he was readying to kill itadori. But he doesn't, and ends up thrusting itadori into a world where he will be forced to kill people and be bombarded with constant suffering and he knows this. And that’s why it hurts when itadori says that he’s a reliable, nice person. Fushi might have saved itadori, and itadori might be grateful for that, but later effects of these actions are MASSIVE and are a result of fushi’s decision.

The guilt of being the person to put itadori in this position would eat fushi up inside and lead him to want to protect itadori as much as he can, to make sure that him keeping itadori alive isn't in vain. The same goes for itadori but in a different kind of way. Itadori was saved by fushi, so i think it’s only right that he wants to keep fushi safe as well, as a show of thanks and appreciation as well as also making sure that fushi’s actions weren’t in vain. They protect each other and save each other and look out for each other to ensure that the events that played out in the beginning aren’t something that will be a regret later. But they can’t always protect each other, they fail, and it's important to think about how that impacts how they see themselves and one another given that their dynamic is centered around protection. (As a quick sidebar here i think a great example of this sort of “protecting” is when they both lied to each other that they’d meet up again after they parted from their battle with awakasa in chapter 95. Like,,, they both “”died”” and were willing to die during their respective fights, but said those things to each other to protect one another even though they knew that wasn’t realistic). 

 Fushi fails to save itadori which leads him to die. That makes him feel guilty and weak asf and so when he finds out that itadori is actually alive, that makes him want to get stronger so that he won’t lose him again (though he was already working towards that). For itadori, there are a few more layers to this: he failed to save junpei, keep sukuna in check, save nanami and nobara, and kill mahito among other things.  Itadori wants to protect ppl, he wants to save ppl bc that is the only thing he’s good for. And if he can’t do that, then he is better off dead, at least in his eyes. While it pushes him to become stronger, it makes him fixated on the wellbeing of others rather than himself. I think the one thing left keeping him on the ground is what fushi said to him: that he didn’t regret saving him, not once. However, if Fushi knows abt this failure, if he knows abt this mass loss of life that came abt bc of itadori, will he regret saving him then? We can see this fear best towards the end of the origin of obedience arc after the two learn that sukuna’s fingers are resonating as a result of itadori eating one of them:

What fushi asked itadori in the cursed womb arc is extremely important here because they've now become the people in that scenario. Fushi is the savior of a murderer and itadori is a murderer that was saved. I can’t help but just see itadori thinking, “you saved me and this is how i repay you: with blood.” While both parties withhold this information from each other in order to protect the other, I believe it was also to protect themselves in a way. If fushi regrets saving itadori, then that reaffirms itadori’s self-sacrificing tendencies and will make him want to die even more than he already does. But I think it's important to specify the kind of regret that fushi could possibly feel here: he could regret being the reason that itadori has to suffer or he could regret saving someone who killed hundreds of ppl, or both. Of course he could also have none at all, but I can still see a potential tug-o-war in his mind over how he should even feel abt itadori at this point whenever all this information comes to light. In general though I just think this next period will be extremely hard, not just for them but everyone, having to cope with the responsibility, with the guilt of being the reason for others sufferings and struggling with facing those facts. While the blood may be on itadori’s hands, i think they trickle down to fushi’s, too. 

 As much as I’d love for them to have this great sit down discussion to sort all of this shit out, i don’t think that’s realistic at all. In fact, i can honestly see them avoiding each other like the plague after this arc (itadori would probably isolate himself from everyone tho tbh), and if they do talk it will be just as brief, if not more brief than before and filled to the brink with tension. I can also see another argument between the two happening as well, but we’ll just have to wait and see where this goes.

The more I think abt this whole situation, the more complex I realize it is, and I kind of curse myself for not being able to elaborate on it better. I'm sort of just barfing out text and hoping it makes sense and that the message gets across. And the more I write about these two the more I also realize how fucked this all is, like everyone feels guilty, everyone feels unworthy and like scum here, even if they really aren’t and it's completely unavoidable. How do you even patch this up? How do you “get over'' this when the events that lead to the mass killing of hundreds of people are so deeply rooted in one event that built the basis for your relationship with that other person? Jfc, and the fact that this is only a *crumb* of the possible ramifications of this arc and probably doesn’t matter that much in the grand scheme of the manga just shows how fucking insane the shibuya arc really is.   

[crystalglassjar]

🦋 Butterfly Baby 🦋

-🦋 Butterfly Baby 🦋-

this isn’t exactly a fanfic but not exactly a list of headcanons either. it’s basically an “I suck at writing but I’ve already planned out an entire story”. is there a beginning, climax, and satisfying ending? no lmao

-📋 story description 📋-

xiao and hu tao get together and have a family. hu tao is 19 at the start of this fic if you’re wondering. I just really needed to get this story out my system...hehe...and reply to this post if you can figure out why the story is called Butterfly Baby

-‼️warnings‼️-

mild spoilers, also this was written on 2/7/2021 so some stuff might seem incorrect after more story quests come out. also major character death if you read the alternate ending

-📜 the actual writing 📜-

• hu tao and xiao start hanging out together (aka hu tao comes to bother xiao and eat almond tofu with him whenever he stops by wangsheng inn)

• xiao eventually grows fond for hu tao but makes many attempts to keep her at an arms distance, all of which were in vain

• xiao and hu tao are both in denial about being in love but obviously xiao takes his denial to a whole other level

• xiao doesn’t visit the inn for 2 weeks but eventually caves and goes back because he missed hu tao the silky texture of almond tofu

• ganyu finds out after overhearing verr goldet (desk lady at wangshu inn) reporting back to ningguang about her observations

• ganyu thinks it’s an exaggeration until she goes to wangshu inn for some business affairs sees xiao and hu tao chatting over some almond tofu and tea

• xiao pretends to not notice ganyu peering from behind a wall

• xiao brings it up during ganyu’s adepti training (ganyu story quest) and she just looks away and apologizes

• xiao knows she wouldn’t tell anyone so he doesn’t bother making her feel even worse than she already does

• xiao and hu tao start actually dating (in secret) but it’s hard to keep at least a few people from noticing an adepti and a funeral parlor director walking near the outskirts of town

• xiao once again tries to distance himself because he feels like he’s not worthy of her love after all the people he’s killed and that an adeptus can’t be with a mortal, hu tao shuts that argument down with “but I don’t care”

• hu tao is a bit hurt that he thinks it matters if she’s a mortal

• she laughs at the rumors that she’s dating an adeptus even if it’s true

• zhong li eventually hears about the rumors and is pretty sure it’s true because hu tao comes to his statue everyday and recently brought up questions about love

• fast forward 10 months of hush hush dating and he finally proposes. no ring or anything fancy, just a simple “do you want to get married?” while they stood at the peak of guyun stone forest

• hu tao says yes without even thinking about it and immediately kisses him and starts excitedly talking about wedding plans that she totally hasn’t been thinking about for the past 3 months

• xiao comes to ganyu to ask for help with wedding planning and ganyu nearly looses her head when she hears him say “so I’m engaged now..”

• hu tao somehow convinced zhong li to help her with planning

• zhong li isn’t too shocked about the engagement but hopes that xiao knows what he’s getting himself into

• hu tao, with a lot of effort, convinces xiao to move into the wangsheng funeral parlor with her

• xiao has a tough time adjusting to mundane life (haha get it because- no? not funny? ok I’ll stop)

• it doesn’t take much negotiation with ningguang to secure a venue at yujing terrace

• xiao would’ve preferred a private wedding at jueyun karst but didn’t know how to ask cloud retainer about it

• one month of planning later and they get married at yujing terrace

• basically everyone in Liyue attends the wedding including traveler

• the adepti got their invites delivered from ganyu and watched the wedding from afar

• I know nothing about Chinese weddings so uhhhh that’s for the reader to dream about

• hu tao throws a flower ball made of silk flowers into the crowd (customs of liyue, volume 1)

• may or may not have forgotten about contraception during their wedding night.....

• too embarrassed to go down to bubu pharmacy get morning after medicine

• hu tao prays to rex lapis that she won’t get pregnant

• zhong li, sipping his tea: I pretend I do not hear

• xiao doesn’t know if he should tell hu tao about zhong li being rex lapis so he just hopes he’ll never have to reveal that secret

• xiao nearly breaks his skull on the wall when he realizes what he’s getting himself into

• people of Liyue are still in shock about an adeptus marrying a mortal (since they were never confirmed to be dating beforehand) and nearly explode with buzz when the funeral parlor director starts growing a baby bump

• “have you seen the wangsheng funeral parlor director? last time I saw her, it looked like her belly was growing a bit. do you think she’s pregnant? oh my archons, a half adeptus baby? I can’t believe it!”

• xiao asks zhong li if he can go out an order a crib, rocking chair, baby clothes, etc for him

• zhong li obviously says yes

• fast forward 9 months and hu tao goes into labor just an hour before the funeral parlor was closing for the day

• zhong li rushes hu tao to her room and tells the undertakers to fetch the midwife

• hu tao calls for xiao and of course xiao is there within 10 seconds

• midwife nearly shits herself when she walks into the bedroom and sees an adeptus

•the midwife nervously asks if xiao was the father

• there was a popular (false) rumor going around that hu tao had an affair with zhong li and the baby was his, mostly because people refused to believe that hu tao was pregnant with a half adeptus baby. these rumors were only fueled further when zhong li was overheard asking a shop keeper if he should order multiple sizes of baby onesies just in case.

• zhong li just nods his head and xiao looks away in shame

• midwife gives helps deliver the baby while thinking “if I fuck this up, this adeptus is going to kill me”

• surprise! the baby is completely fine and healthy

• ganyu asked the qixing if she could take a day off (much to the shock of everyone who knew she wouldn’t even take her yearly vacation leave)

• ganyu has never ran so quickly down Liyue’s streets and nearly kicked down the funeral parlor door

• she’s super excited to know that there’s going to be another half adeptus in Liyue but is also incredibly worried about the idea of a half yaksha child

• I can’t come up with a name for the daughter so ill just call her daughter

• zhong li is named the god father and ganyu is the named god mother

• xiao and hu tao take the baby down to jueyun karst

• ganyu and cloud retainer both think the baby is such an adorable and precious little thing

• the rest of the adeptus are just like “xiao wtf...but ok”

• refer to my posts about xiao as a father if you want some more cute details but I don’t wanna just write a copy paste of my past post

• everyone at Liyue harbor is gossiping about it

• hu tao is a very fun and free mom and teaches the kid to become a tiny ball of chaos with the pyromania of klee and the sneakiness of yaoyao. aka the kid is now unstoppable

• pyro vision because of course

• hu tao teaches her daughter how to master pyro, how to write poetry, and most importantly, how to become a funeral parlor director

• the daughter actually prefers swords over poles and gets classes from the guhua clan, and more specifically,

• zhong li was very eager to give the kid a vision and was managed to get the pyro archons permission

• xiao confronts zhong li about the vision it in secret

• xiao: you gave her a pyro vision. do you know how destructive she will be? 

• zhong li, taking another sip of tea: ✨ I pretend I do not hear ✨

• hu tao overhears the conversation and puts two and two together

• hu tao and xiao have their first ever argument ever since they got married

• “why didn’t you tell me before?”

• “because it was a secret!”

• back and forth until they hear the baby waking up and crying

• they agree that there’s no point in arguing now and go off to calm down the baby

• they end up living a happy life as a family of three, and after hu tao’s death, xiao continues to raise the child as much as he can (with the help of zhong li and ganyu)

• their daughter becomes the 78th director of the wangsheng funeral parlor

~the end~

-↪️ alternate ending ↪️-

• osial somehow wakes up during one lantern rite

• xiao was distracted by a different, much smaller, demon

• the guizhong ballista and jade chamber had been repaired by now and were better than before, and they were able to defeat osial without sacrificing the jade chamber again

• however they didn’t get to the jade chamber fast enough and a small part of Liyue was destroyed

• one place in that part of liyue being the wangsheng funeral parlor

• xiao is overcome by grief because he believe it was his fault that he wasn’t able to protect this family

• he finally succumbs to the corruption

• what he didn’t know what was that hu tao did indeed die in the destruction, but his daughter (currently age 12) was still perfectly well and alive

• ganyu takes in the daughter

• zhong li took over the post as director after hu tao’s death and became the 78th director

• zhong li continued to teach the daughter about how to properly run a business and conduct flawless funerals

• the daughter becomes the 79th director of the wangsheng funeral parlor when she’s 18

• she also becomes the new demonslayer of the adepti, following in her father’s footsteps

• even through the trauma of witnessing her mother’s untimely death and being given the news that her father’s had also died, she made it through and raised a happy family of her own, while wearing the hat that her mom passed down.

~the end~

-📝 author’s note ��-

ok...so that was longer than expected. let me know what you guys think! see any typos or anything off? please mention it! if you guys have a header for hu tao please do share~

[nothisis-ridiculous]

Duplicity

An AU where Kaidan joins Cerberus for the events of ME2.

Chapter Eight: Visitors

"You could have changed first," Mary's eyes flickered to the man, "it would have made a better impression."

This was the Commander on her best behavior, attempting not to scorn the man she once loved. The man that had carried her broken body from the field and into safety. The man that blushed and rubbed at his forehead under her scrutiny, unconsciously buying himself further slack with a motion that brought her back to the old days. She thought reaching him was impossible then; now it was somewhere between impossible and a nightmare. The dissonance firing off in her skull was astounding, painful.

"I was worried about," he choked out, in the husky tone that made her heart flutter, " you."

"We should worry more about ourselves- really, Kaidan? Mouthing off to the Illusive Man?"

Honestly, she was proud of him. Other than the one time he killed a superior, he was quite mellow toward most authority figures. The point value tripled because it was toward the Cerberus ring leader. His hand rubbed the back of his neck, fiddling a while before he would answer.

"Commander, the writing's on the wall here- he sent you... us into a trap. It was negligent at best, he could have easily told us. Given us a chance to prepare-"

"Leave that sort of thing to the three billion dollar asset."

"Four billion," Kaidan smirked, "that also happens to have a death wish."

Mary's eyes fluttered away, losing her will to act brave. Her heart was allowed to fear for another, "maybe I was aiming for you."

His dark eyebrow raised.

"Besides, I can at least try to end my life in the way I see fit."

It was a harsh kickback from the moment of vulnerability. It was too easy for her to return to a level of comfort with Kaidan; why wouldn't it be easy? They had spent nearly a year together more than enough time to grow close, to learn all the ticks and what they meant. Plus, she was bitter. Angry, he had a part in bringing her back to this fucked reality. One where she was shackled to Cerberus. Where her autonomy was a fading illusion, Mary was trapped, and rattling at the bars wasn't enough. Whether it was the nuclear option or falling into submission wasn't entirely clear, both paths still fought.

His other eyebrow joined, creasing toward the center. Reflexively frowning at Shepard's insinuation, a hand returning to massage at his temple, he had no defense. Nothing that would change her mind anyway. He loved her; that was obvious. He couldn't stand to lose her, but he had already told her that. It was in the galaxy's best interest to have her around and kicking Reaper ass, in that there was no doubt. Mumbling and fumbling over words wouldn't budge the Commander. There was no reason even to attempt such a thing.

"I won't apologize for bringing you back."

"What about working for Cerberus?" Mary spat.

Kaidan barked, the aggressive tone an accidental exhaling of emotion, "did Chakwas or Joker get this lecture too? Or is it just me?"

"Does it matter?"

"So Joker gets a warm welcome, you end up drunk with Chakwas, and I end up dodging crates? How is that fair?" he questioned with folded arms.

"They didn't see what they did first hand," she reeled, "they... you... didn't... you knew they killed my unit. You met Toombs."

"And hearing about it wasn't enough?"

Mary's throat bobbed, "it's different."

"Don't BS me, Commander," he retorted sternly, "we're way past that."

"I expected better of you."

"Why? Why just me?"

"You're a good man, Kaidan. I don't like being wrong," Mary went cold, folding her arms over herself, "I don't like thinking I misjudged you."

"Let me get this right...because of our relationship, you expect me to live up to a lofty standard?"

"Hardly lofty. Terrorist organization hardly seems your style," Mary's eyes barbed him with daggers.

"Yet you stick with them."

"What choice do I have? Can I just leave? They've brought in everyone I care about, the Illusive Man has already proved he doesn't mind using anyone connected to me as bait," she looked away, "I'm trapped here."

Kaidan lowered his arms, daring to close a portion of the distance between them. He wanted to assure her, to assuage Mary that she was not the only one caged. It wasn't the time, "I felt the same way when the Council... the Alliance threw me aside. Knowing the Reapers are coming is terrible stuff. Instead of waiting around, I did something."

"You went too far, Kaidan."

"The same could have been said when we mutinied."

"We didn't experiment on people."

"Yeah, Cerberus has a lot to answer for," Kaidan retreated.

Mary didn't answer, watching him coldly. He was sure if she could move from that bed she would have decked him hard on the way out. But she was stuck- tied to the bed by medical tape. She seemed in fine condition to anyone else, but he could see the subtle wince when her breath drew too deep, or her volume grew too loud. Kaidan knew Mary better than anyone.

"What am I supposed to say, Mary? Surviving tore me apart. You, you already know what happened at first, but I had the chance to do something. To fight against what I knew was about to happen," Kaidan stepped forward, "maybe we'll never be what we were. But don't judge me, and let me help. I know how this looks-"

The biotic finally dared to meet her gaze- just in time to watch the tears spring from her eyes," just stop," Mary pleaded, looking at anything else that could distance her, "it may have been two years for you, I get it. You've mourned me. It's only been a few weeks, I felt myself die... just to wake up, and everything is... different. I'm still not sure if I'm in hell or not. Cerberus wasn't even a place I'd be in my nightmare."

Mary's bright eyes suddenly caught him, "and you're with them."

Kaidan moved forward, a hand extended as the Commander curled into herself, pulling up the blanket in vain, hoping it would hide her. Sheild her from the vulnerability she was not willingly presenting. It leaked, and it was unfair of him to take advantage of her. In a previous time her guard would have dropped; now she fought to keep it up—only a part of her struggle to keep sane in this new life. His hovering arm dropped, retreating several paces to force himself to stop.

"I didn't want to believe it," Kaidan stalled, looking at his feet, "but I've been thinking, realized that some of these people are good people. Maybe misguided, but... good."

Mary nodded, keeping her head turned away from him.

"Look, I didn't come here to lecture you," Kaidan sent over a dossier from his omnitool, "I brought some good news. If pulling in someone else we know into this mess is good news."

She shook her arm free of the blanket, the orange illumination of her face revealing a subtle shift in her state. The corner of her lip pulling up after the initial pass of regret filtered over her face, at least the tears he should do nothing about slowed to a trickle.

"There are more dossiers, but I knew this one would be most the important."

"Send them over."

Mary scanned the other two, far more passive in her reading of the other potential members of her crew. This was his cue to leave, so he moved to do just that.

"Just be more careful next time," Mary murmured, following his path out of the medical bay.

Kaidan paused, nodding before ducking out of sight.

~~~

"Thanks Shepard, I will," Liara smiled warmly.

"I'll talk to you later, Li Li," Mary stood, acknowledging Miranda's sideways look with a lop-sided smile. Trotting down the stairs from the administrator's office.

"Jealous, Lawson?"

"No, I-" Miranda smiled nervously, "you aren't going to let this go, are you?"

"Not until I find the perfect nickname."

"Oh god," Miranda muttered, massaging her temples, "Miri and nothing else will be acceptable."

"Really?" Mary prodded but gently offering concern rather than utter mirth.

"Is it not embarrassing enough?"

The Commander grinned smugly, "no, it's just-"

"Just what?" Miranda blew with hands moving to her perfect hips.

Mary didn't avoid the conversation out of pettiness- Joker's voice drowned out the moment, pulling away from the lightness of her mood.

"Shepard, we, uh, have a visitor? Some Kai Leng he claims to be Cerberus."

"You let him on the ship?"

"Let is not the word I'd use."

"And everything was going so well," Garrus quipped, the quicker of her companions to read the shift of Shepard's energy.

"Mr. Moreau is correct, Mr. Leng is here on the Illusive Man's orders," EDI pipped in, "I had to let him in."

"You better hurry; he already pissed off Tali."

"I'm on my way, Joker."

"A stowaway problem, Shepard?" Garrus asked with a cock of his head.

"Miri," it was too grave for a lighthearted nickname, "do you know a Kai Leng?"

"That bastard."

Mary cocked her head, her smile fading into a frown, "Miranda?"

"This isn't good news, Shepard. He's the Illusive Man's personal pet," she spat.

"Threat level?"

"Ten."

Mary picked up her pace to the Normandy, ignoring the sideways glances and concerned looks she received. The doors to the ship were open for her, and an over-the-shoulder call from Joker directed the party to the shuttle bay. The elevator felt like it took centuries, and neither of her companions wanted to say a word. Not even a half ignored news clip to pass the time. Leaving her to claw at her vambrace, annoyed to be tramping through her ship in unclean armour. It was a minor detail, but she hated bringing unnecessary germs onto the belly of her ship. She had a quarian to consider.

As if that was her greatest worry at the moment.

Mary stormed into the cargo bay, surprised to find three figures, and notably the lack of a certain Quarian. The krogan presence was less of a surprise, if there was a fight Grunt would find it. With his space overlooking the bay, he didn't have to pry, and furthermore, Jack's latest biotic blast wasn't easily ignored.

"If you think I'm letting you take me now," Jack heaved, dodging a projectile and returning a side-stepped shockwave, "you're fucking wrong!"

"Jack!" Mary screamed, breaking the biotic's concentration, and then her head swiveled to the stranger, "you must be Kai Leng."

"Shepard," the dark-haired stranger drawled, sending an instinctive shiver down her spine.

She wouldn't be intimidated, ignoring the gnawing sense this man would as quickly kill her as he would shake her hand, but it couldn't stop the protect folding of her arms over her chest, "why are you tormenting my crew?"

"Lawson," he continued, the smug smile leaving as he examined the turian, "and this must be the one known as Archangel."

Mary stepped in to partially block his view of Garrus. She knew that look.

The mixed heritage man extended out his hand- Mary had never wanted to do anything less, but this was a power move. Declining would give him the literal and figurative upper hand. Fuck, his grip was tight, overbearing.

"I was sent here to help; after all, the fate of humanity is resting on your shoulders," Shepard felt the omitted words from his saccharine tone.

"I don't need the kind of help that torments my crew."

"I corrected your blatant disregard for Cerberus' confidentiality."

A chuckle escaped Garrus's airway, on inspection, Miri sported a fleeting smirk. Spurring Mary on to laugh in his face, "yeah, from stolen Alliance and Turian designs."

"This wasn't part of the deal, Shepard," Jack butted in.

"You'll get those files back."

"Will you?"

"You'll learn soon enough that Shepard gets her way, Leng."

Kai Leng took his turn to chortle, "so quick to betray Cerberus, Miss Lawson?"

Miranda exhaled slowly, "what's the harm in a few classified files," her tone almost defeated. Mary and Jack meeting each other with a curious look.

"I'm sure you can find your way to temporary quarters?" Mary returned her attention to the stranger, "The Illusive Man and I need to have a chat in the meantime."

[fanmoose12]

Jean wiped the tears from his face, thinking if he had made the right choice after all. Remembering Magath’s arrogant and condescending expression or Reiner’s apologetic one, he wasn’t so sure anymore.

What was wrong with him, if he decided to risk his life to save the assholes like them? Why should he help those people, who hated and despised him, who called him a monster just because of his blood?

Maybe, Floch was right, Jean though bitterly. Maybe, he should have joined him and let all those people die. Then he would be safe, he would be free and… he would be guilty for the deaths of millions of innocents that had cost him his happiness.

“Goddamn it,” Jean whispered. “Goddamn it, Marco, sometimes I hate you,” a small grin appeared at his lips and a few tears escaped his eyes, as an image of his friend, smiling at him, came to Jean’s mind. “If it weren’t for you and your stupid words… I would have been the same old Jean… the same jerk, who didn’t care for anyone, but himself. But look at me now,” he chuckled, that sound mixing with his quiet sobs. “I’m going to fight another war, fight for the people I don’t even know. All of it is your fault,” despite the accusation, his voice was soft. “Oh, I miss you so much, Marco. Sometimes I think it would have been better, if you survived and I died in your place. You would have known what to do. You would have made the right choice, I’m sure.”

Jean took a shuddering breath, raising his head to look at the night sky. “Do you think I’m a good person, Marco?” he asked, his voice too loud in the quiet forest. “Do you think I can be called that, if I have doubts? If I still want to run and hide?”

Jean covered his eyes with his hand, taking another deep breath. All this pondering was pointless. He made his choice already. People were depending on him now. His friends were depending on him, Hange-san was depending on him. Even those fucking Marleyans were probably depending on his help as well. It was too late for doubts now.

Jean wiped his face with a sleeve, hoping that all sights of tears were gone. He would rather die than let anyone see him like that. Using tree as his support, he shakily got to his feet and dusted his coat. Then he started to walk back to their camp.

He hoped that everyone else was asleep. Someone asking why his eyes were so red was the last thing he needed right now.

But of course, because apparently the universe fucking hated him, as Jean neared the camp, he saw that someone was still sitting by the fire.

When she heard the quiet sound of leaves rustling under his feet, Hange turned to face him.

“Took you long enough,” she commented with a lopsided smile. “I was honestly starting to get worried.”

“What,” Jean took a sit next to his Commander. “Thought I was going to ditch you and join Yeagerists?”

“No,” Hange shook her head. “I never doubted you. But forests are quite dangerous at night.”

“After fighting with Titans, I don’t think it would be that hard to defeat a bear.”

Hange softly giggled. “Yeah, maybe, you’re right. By the way, I saved some stew for you,” she passed Jean a plate with a spoon. “Emotional breakdowns can be quite tiring.”

Accepting the stew, Jean smirked as he looked at Commander Hange. “Speaking from personal experience?”

She replied him with a smirk of her own. “That’s classified information. Commander’s secrets and all that.”

Jean gave a short laugh and then looked down to his plate, busying himself with eating the stew. As he ate, out of the corner of his eyes, Jean kept looking at Hange. She was absentmindedly stirring the ambers in the fire. There was a faraway look in her eyes, and she appeared to be deep in thought. Jean glanced slightly to his right and saw Captain Levi, resting beside her. From time to time, Hange also threw Captain a quick look, as though making sure that he was still here.

Jean suddenly felt sorry for his Commander. At least, he still had his friends and his mother, but Captain Levi was the only person Hange-san cared about. She had lost everyone else.

“Hange-san,” Jean lightly bumped against her shoulder, attracting her attention. “Have you ever…” he trailed off, feeling that his question was too personal and intrusive.

“Yeah?” she prompted, looking at him with a gentle look in her eye. “Have I ever what?”

Well, Jean started it, he may as well finish his question. “Have you ever wanted to escape? T-to leave all of this shit behind and just run away?”

Hange let out a short laugh, however that sound was devoid of any mirth. “I’ve been fighting this war for much longer than you, Jean,” she looked away from him, her eyes darting to Captain Levi’s still body. “I’ve suffered many losses and endured a lot of pain. I… of course, I’ve thought of leaving. More times than I can count. When Levi got injured, when I saw him, lying there in a pool of his own blood, the wreckage of that damned explosion surrounding him…” Hange’s voice shook slightly, but she continued, turning her gaze back to Jean and staring right at him. Making him see all of her pain. “That’s all I could think of. I wanted to run, I wanted to find a place to keep us, to keep him safe, and never leave it. But I couldn’t,” her lips curved into a sad smile. “I knew I had responsibility, one I couldn’t escape from. There are people, who still rely on me,” she paused, shaking her head. “For some idiotic reason you and your friends still believe in me. And… they… all of the friends that I’ve lost, all of the comrades, who sacrificed their lives for us to keep fighting, I can’t betray their trust. I can’t let their sacrifices be in vain.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Hange fixed the glasses on her face, putting on a cheerful, but obviously fake smile. “I’ve dumped all this onto you. It’s probably not something you’ve wanted to hear. Before an important battle, one that probably will decide the fate of our world, I don’t think you want to hear that your Commander was this close to giving up.”

“No,” Jean shook his head. “You’re wrong. I did need to hear it. I was thinking of the same thing. Right before you came to visit Mikasa and me, I was having the same doubts. I thought it would be better to accept Floch’s plan, to let Eren do his thing and… and continue living my life, safe and happy. But then… I remembered Sasha’s smile and Marco’s kind eyes…”

“Marco?” Hange interrupted, cocking her head to the side with a curious look in my face.

“Oh, of course, you didn’t get to know him,” Jean looked away from her, feeling his eyes fill with tears once more. “He was with us in 104th, but… he died in Trost.”

“I’m so sorry,” Hange lowered her head. “That’s the boy you’ve mentioned before, right? When you punched Reiner?”

“Yeah,” Jean nodded, looking at his bruised knuckles.

“That was a good punch.”

“Should have hit him harder,” Jean protested. “That Titan freak will regenerate anyway.”

“Mm, I was kind of envious of you,” Hange commented, a mischievous grin appearing on her lips. “You can’t imagine how much I wanted to punch Magath’s stupid face.”

Jean couldn’t help it – he burst out laughing. “Then why didn’t you?”

“Ah,” Hange sighed. “I’m afraid that’s one of the many cons to being a Commander. Now I can’t go around screaming at people or threatening them with violence.”

“Mm, I remember, you were quite wild back in your days.”

“That I w— Wait!” Hange glared at Jean. “Back in my days!? Am I that old?”

“Of course, not,” Jean put on his best suave smile. “I’ll be honest, Commander, if I was a bit older, I’d have the biggest of crushes on you. Although, I don’t think it would have been reciprocated – I am not Ackerman, after all.”

“And neither am I,” Hange replied, her eyes darting to Mikasa, who was sleeping not that far from them.

Jean’s cheeks flamed up, but he decided not to hide his embarrassment. “Am I that obvious?”

“Not really,” Hange shrugged. “But I am quite observant. Couldn’t become a Commander if I weren’t. And don’t worry,” she hugged Jean by the shoulder, her other hand coming to ruffle his hair. “You are still young. You still have time to win her over.”

Jean chuckled, a warm feeling spreading through him. “Thank you for that talk. I really needed it. And… maybe, I won’t get another chance, so I wanted to say something to you. I know you don’t believe it, but you are a great Commander. You’re doing everything you can, and, even though, we’re in the deepest shit we’ve ever been, I’m not afraid, because I know you’ll be the one to lead us. I… really respect you and I’m honored to serve under your command.”

“Jean…” Hange swiftly pressed him to her chest, squeezing him tightly in her embrace. “Thank you,” she said with feeling. “It means a lot.”

Jean wanted to wave her off, to tell her that it’s nothing but the truth, but he was interrupted, when they heard a quiet grunting behind.

“I’m sorry,” Hange shot him an apologetic look. “It seems like my patient needs me. You should go and rest, by the way. Who knows when we’ll get the chance to do it next time.”

“Yeah, alright. Good night, Hange-san.”

She nodded and giving him one last smile, she turned to Captain Levi.

Jean searched for the spare sleeping bag, and when he found it, he lay down, closing his eyes. However, it didn’t seem like sleep was going to come easily to him. So he opened his eyes again, and watched Commander Hange and Captain Levi.

“Are you feeling any better?” Hange asked, starting to slowly and carefully unwrap Levi’s bandages.

“Not really,” he grumbled in reply. “How were negotiations? Had any success?”

“Not really,”Hange hummed. “But they’ve agreed to help and that’s all we really need from them. I wasn’t planning on becoming friends anyway. Now, come on,” she gently lifted Levi up, until he was half-sitting. “Let’s get you something to eat.”

As Jean continued to watch Hange and Levi out of the corner of his eyes, an image suddenly appeared in his mind.

He saw a small, but cozy cottage somewhere deep in the forest. Captain Levi is sitting on a porch, rocking in a chair with a cup of steaming tea in his hands. There is a small, but happy smile on his lips, as his eyes are focused on Hange-san, who was playing with two puppies or, maybe, she was chasing a couple of black-haired kids with big brown eyes? After finishing his tea, Captain Levi slowly gets to his feet and puts the cup down. He makes his way towards Hange-san, kissing her on the lips and taking her by the hand. He joins in on her fun, that same smile never leaving his lips and Hange-san’s laughter ringing through the woods.

And maybe— maybe, Jean will get to visit them. Maybe, if he’s extremely, extremely lucky, he won’t come all by himself. Maybe, a certain Ackerman will visit their superiors with him. And maybe, if Jean will become the luckiest man in this world, Mikasa will be holding a beautiful dark-haired girl by the hand, while Jean will be carrying a small boy in his arms.

Suddenly, and quite unfortunately, Jean’s fantasies were disturbed. A quite chuckle brought Jean back to Earth. As he turned around, meaning to send that person a mean glare, his eyes widened. Behind him was Mikasa. There was a soft, small smile on her lips as she watched Commander Hange and Captain Levi. As she saw that Jean was looking at her, her smile became bigger and her cheeks reddened ever so slightly.

Jean felt his own lips curving into a smile, as he gazed at Mikasa’s face.

He felt hope blossom inside his chest as his remembered Hange-san’s words. They were young. And even if their world had come to shit, maybe, they still had future.

And maybe, if he’s extremely lucky, Jean won’t be spending his future alone.

[melamemea]

remember to remember me.

sentence starts based on isak danielson’s album remember to remember me. alter as needed. 

001 religion.

“ can we say goodbye to the lies you told ?”

“ you know i’m wiser. ”

“ i believed your stories, at least the blind in me. ”

“ you gave my eyes what they wanted to see. ”

“ i’ve lost my reality. ”

“ i’ve lost everything in me. ”

“ you act like you’re god. ”

“ you’re trying too hard. ”

“ you’re trying too hard, but i need it. ”

“ i was supposed to believe her. ”

“ i’m back to believing. ”

“ i’m trying to be smart. ”

“ i’m trying to be smart  with a stake through the heart that i’m feeling. ”

“ future doesn’t matter. ”

“ i’d give it up for you. ”

“  future doesn’t matter ,  i’d give it up for you. ”

“ you know your power, i know it too. ”

“ i’ll end up in fire, burning with you. ”

 002 remember to remember me.

“ i can feel you’re slipping through my hands. ”

“ i’ve tried to break the silence. ”

“ just wanna know now where we stand. ”

“ i can see it in your eyes, you don’t believe a word i say. ”

“ you’re hard to reach, it’s like you’re tired of trying. ”

“ i’m lost, can you come back to me. ”

“ tell me what you’re hiding ”

“ please don’t let me go ”

“ we’ve been wrong before ”

“ don’t want to lose the memories ”

“ remember to remember me. ”

“ thought i’d let you know, you only have to call ”

“ i remind you how we used to be ? ”

“ i don’t like the part of moving on ”

“ i hate to say goodbye ”

“ i can’t stand this bedroom all alone, when everything reminds of you laying by my side ”

003 silence

“ it’s hard to look, it takes a lot of courage to see ”

“ open your eyes ”

“ you’ll be standing next to me ”

“ forget the words, they don’t know what they’re saying ”

“ to save us all, it takes a lot of praying ”

“ we have to speak into the silence ”

“ we never wanted violence ”

“ we have to stay, united, no one left outside ”

“ i want to see the change before i die and lose my voice ”

“ it is time to act ”

“ wake up and just realize the fact ”

“ what we’ve done, we have to recover from ”

“ cannot wait to save the things that we’ve broken ”

“ find the strength to let your mind be spoken ”

“ i want to live ‘till i’m 95 ″

“ i want my children there right by my side ”

“ i want snow in the winter sun ”

“ we need to realize what has begun ”

004 part of me 

“ i used to love how you despised me ”

“ you made me weaker than i was ”

“ i’m so sick and tired of all these conversations ”

“ i believed in all you told me, the way i never was enough ”

“ i’m so fucking tired of all these accusations ”

“ from what i’ve learned, i’ll be okay ”

“ i’ll be okay, cause baby you were not my first ”

“ i have found my way now ”

“ i walked away from your life ”

“ i will be a better part of me without you, dear ”

“ i just had to wake up and see my own reflection ”

“ i’d always do the things you told me ”

“ you made me tell your every lie ”

“ i’m not letting you take the control of these situations ”

005 light up

“ sometimes i wish i didn’t feel ”

“ sometimes i wish i didn’t feel the demons that run inside of me ”

“ can you help me out of my misery ? ”

“ i need someone to keep me calm when i can’t breathe ”

“ if you feel the same, talk to me ”

“ i’ll be the fire, so i can light up an empty room just for you ”

“ i’ll be the fighter, give me the thunder, and i’ll get through for you ”

“ you’d do the same, too ”

“ i’ve found a way to handle fear when i’m alone and no one’s there ”

“ i’m netter now than i was before ”

“ not running away, learning to face what i’m scared of ”

“ i am who i am and there’s no more looking back ”

“ i’ll be okay, i can do it all on my own ”

006 love me wrong

“ you make me want to make mistakes ”

“ your turn temptation into my best friend ” 

“ you make me just give up and cave ”

“ will i ever fall in love like this again ?”

“ i’m in hell, your taste, your smell, i know you far too well ”

“ it’s a spell that took me from a dream to this motel ”

“ i ring the bell ”

“ honestly, i’d rather be with you then by myself ”

“ so love me wrong, if you can’t love me right ”

“ all i want, is to be in your vice ”

“ you’re the one who builds my paradise ”

“ you make me take what i can get ”

“ your love is poison that won’t let me live ”

“ you make drunk and desperate ”

“ it helps me to forget what you don’t give ”

007 i don’t need your love

“ i no longer feel alone and rink through the night ”

“ i no longer lie awake and hurt my anxious mind ”

“ i used to cut my hair to make you like me more ”

“ i used to change my ways but you would just ignore ”

“ i don’t need your love ”

“ whatever you say, i’ll stand above ”

“ i finally feel like i’ve had enough ”

“ now i’m moving on ”

“ i can feel my heart, beating through the saddest parts ”

“ i’ve made up my mind, i’ve had enough ”

“ you won’t get another chance ”

“ your words cut like a knife ”

“ you left me broken, cast aside, time after time ”

“ won’t waste another night, cause i know i’ll be alright ”

“ i’m done trying to make you want me ”

“ i’m done trying to make you care ”

“ there is nothing there to hold on to ”

“ i have no more time to spare”

008 feel something

“ sometimes i wish we never met ” 

“ feel all the things that i never felt ”

“ this love will come too easy ”

“ don’t go easy on me, baby ”

“ i want you to push me far away, then come up with reasons for me to stay ”

“ if love could come too easy, don’t go easy on me, baby ”

“ need to know that this love is real ” 

“ just make me feel something ”

“ now there’s too much space in between, just make me feel something ”

“ anything at all to keep me hanging on ”

“ open up my heart, make it hurt some more ”

“ i want you to make me change my mind ”

“ love liek we’re running out of time ”

“ i just nee to feel the pressure falling heavy on me, baby ”

“ start to feel desperate when i’m with you ”

“ living’s the last thing i want to do ”

“ don’t go easy on me now ”

“ don’t go ”

009 every song for you

“ living on a memory as vivid as reality ”

“ take me there, i’ll do anything, i swear ”

“ brighter than the morning sun, that makes me feel all warm and fun ”

“ that’s all i see, where i wanna be ”

“ i just want to be staying in my mind with you, that is all i need ”

“ i just want to be playing every song for you ”

“ you are all my dreams come true ”

“ sweeter than any treat, same feeling every time we meet ”

“ like the first time, when you became mine, still wishing for the same thing ”

“ be as light as the bird’s wing ”

“ i write every song for you ”

010 domino

“ living in this broken city -- where love is hard to find -- i’ve seen it all ”

“ it wasn’t pretty, my heart has made me blind ”

“ is it really okay, to treat me this way? ”

“ it’s always the same ”

“ they give all you’ve ever wanted, then they take it away and say ‘it was a mistake’.”

“ they burn each other one by one like a domino ”

“ falling to the ground, just like a domino ”

“ one night they hold you, the next second they let go ”

“ everybody wants to catch me, nobody wants to stay. ”

“ everybody wants to catch me, nobody wants to stay. are you really here forever ? ”

“ are you really here forever ?”

“ will you walk away ?”

“ are you really here forever ? or will you walk away ?”

“ is it always like this ? every kiss is a goodbye kiss ”

“ every road leads to a neck, every story leaves me lonely ”

“ all the years that i’ve spent loving in vain ”

011 last song

“ i think that i’ll go now ”

“ i don’t even know why i’ve been holding onto you all this time ”

“ you have made it clear that what i feel is one way ”

“ you will never open your heart for me ”

“ i’m the one stay as you walk away ”

“ you were always fading; you’re fading away. ”

“ i want to feel your heart beat with my hand on your chest ”

“ when i look into those eyes, i will know what is next ”

“ i am lost in something that has no way out ”

“ it hurts, but this is the last song that i write ”

“ i wish that i could slow down, ask if it’d be alright to take you out to dinner sometime this week ”

“ i’ll just have to give up, pretend that i have moved on ”

“ you’re the only one on my mind ”

“ can my breath be yours tonight ? ”

“ i’ll give you the time, i am losing mine ”

“ i guess that this is the last song that i write ”

[silenteyes]

你的答案 | Your Answer

By 阿冗

Warnings: Spoilers, Angst, Canon-typical Violence (Also it doesn’t follow word-to-word, I put in my own twist because I cannot for the life of me remember all of the scenes and their specific words. I need to remind you all as well, this is an AU! It mostly follows canon but as I said, I put my own twists to it.) ; Other than that, I suppose it’s a happy ending

也许世界就这样 我也还在路上 

Maybe the world is just like this | But I am still following my path

Wei Ying sighed as he looked back at the Burial Mounds. He continued walking - although he was convinced he might as well be limping, with traces of resentful energy following him. 

Sentient he thinks, perhaps a tad bit maniacally. 

没有人能诉说

With no one to confide in

“Demonic cultivation harms the mind and body.”

“The Yiling Patriarch is so arrogant, he uses his power to take advantage of everybody!”

“I will not spare Wei Wuxian any mercy.”

Wei Ying laughed hysterically. Sure, no one had the same views as him, and sure, he may be alone. But he could live on without the whole cultivation world watching his every step, waiting for him to break. 

“To be honest, Wei-xiong’s words were quite interesting. Spiritual energy can only be obtained through cultivation and taking great pains to form a golden core. It would take I-don’t-know-how-many years to do, especially for someone like me, whose talent seems as if it was gnawed by a dog when I was in my mother’s womb. But, resentful energy are from the fierce ghosts. If they can easily be taken and used, it would be beyond wonderful.”

也许我只能沉默 眼泪湿润眼眶 

Perhaps I can only remain quiet | Tears glistening my eyes

“Qing-jie...”

Wei Ying had tears threatening to spill as he struggled to move. Wen Qing stared at him with tears in her eyes as well, smoothing out his hair. Wen Ning was watching both of them, and if he wasn’t a fierce corpse at the moment he would’ve burst into tears.

“A-Ying, thank you. And I’m sorry.”

He could only stay silent as the two walked out of the cave, heading towards Lanling.

可又不甘懦弱

Yet not willing to show weakness

He could not, not yet. He will not die before avenging his second family, who all actually cared about him. 

To Nie Huaisang, my second brother,

I am sorry. You have helped us a lot, but it seems as though our efforts were in vain. You are not at fault, please do not blame yourself for not being able to help me. We will meet again in another life, as brothers.

With a smile I sign this letter,

Wei Ying, Wei Wuxian.

低着头 期待白昼 

With my head down | I await for the dawn

He sighed with his head tilted down as he waits for the cultivation world. All those who are greedy, who seek power and fame, and those who seek vengeance are sure to come. He could almost chuckle at the fact his martial brother - no he’s lost right to call him that months ago, Sect Leader Jiang was the on leading the siege. 

He hopes A-Yuan won’t be too heartbroken, but maybe A-Yuan might be dead. He actually tears up at the thought. 

接受所有的嘲讽

Accepting all of their taunts

“It’s the Yiling Patriarch!”

“Kill him!”

“Monster!”

“You killed Jin Zixuan, spare him no mercy!”

Wei Ying just accepted them with what one may call an exasperated sigh, but if you listen closely it sounded breathy as well. Why should he refute them if they won’t believe him anyways?

向着风 拥抱彩虹

Facing the wind | Embrace the rainbow

Nie Huaisang stared in horror at the letter. The Wen remnants... dead? They were clearly just elderly people if you don’t count Lady Wen and Wen Qionglin, but even then they were just doctors!

He begged an begged for his brother to not participate in the siege but to no avail did he succeed. 

“Wei-xiong, I’m glad even at the edge of death you still remember me. I’ll be looking forward to seeing you in our next life, maybe it would be better than this.”

勇敢的向前走

Bravely walk forward

Wei Ying smiled as he walked towards the edge of the cliff. He took another step and fell.

Oh, the part where they say Sandu Shengshou killed him? He couldn’t really remember much, but he knew it was a lie.

If anyone was going to kill him, he’d rather it be himself. 

黎明的那道光会越过黑暗

The light of dawn will always cross the darkness

He closed his eyes as he awaits for death to embrace him. They say death is another adventure, but he hopes it leads to peace. 

He’s tired. 

打破一切恐惧 我能找到答案  

Defeat all my fears, I will find the answers

He opened his eyes as he remembered A-Yuan and the others. Qing-jie would’ve used her needles on him, he’d also like to think she may be crying over him. But he wouldn’t want to push his imagination.

QIng-jie crying is one of the last things he wants.

哪怕要逆着光 就驱散黑暗   

Even if I need to go against the light and disperse the darkness

To defeat the monster, he had to become one himself. He had no other resources to help them defeat Wen Ruohan after all.

Why is it that when they turned their backs on me, I’m not allowed to do the same? Am I supposed to stay defenseless when they choose offense?

丢弃所有的负担 不再孤单 

Throw away the burdens, no longer alone

He laughs, and he cries. And at last he smiles once more. He feels like his death would be a peaceful one. He’d be able to join Granny, Uncle Four, Qing-jie, A-Ning and all the others soon. 

Maybe shijie would also forgive him. He hopes Madam Yu will stay ten feet away from him though.

不再孤单   

No longer alone

His eyes widened as fierce corpses surround him. And he screams.

He never wanted to be truly alone after all.

---

黎明的那道光 会越过黑暗

The light of dawn will always cross the darkness

“Senior Wei!” Jingyi gawked. 

A burst of laughter came from said senior and the juniors’ reactions ranged from eye rolls to small chuckles.

“We almost died!” Zizhen cheered.

“Why the fuck are you so happy?” Jin Ling snapped, panting for air.

“We almost died! We have a cool story to tell to other people now!” A kid from the Ouyang Sect exclaimed. Wei Ying ruffled their hair and it took the juniors a lot to not drink vinegar.

打破一切恐惧我能 找到答案

Defeat all my fears, I will find the answers

“Get that beast away from me!” he screamed.

“Da-jiu! Fairy is not a beast! And you have to get over your phobia of dogs!” Jin Ling said in exasperation.

Fairy sat still, ears drooping as she looks at Wei Ying with sad eyes. She might as well be pouting while she’s at it. Even he couldn’t stand the dog looking like that.

“...Fine. Just ONE pat! If it bites me I will not have it be in the same room as me EVER!”

Fairy wagged her tail and looked at Wei Ying. He trembled as his hand got close to her and he closed his eyes. Fairy stared at the hand which hadn’t touched her and she slowly bumped her head into his hand. He jumped and stared at her and she stared back, clearly happy to at least initiate some kind of physical contact with him. He gave her a clearly scared, but small smile.

“There, see. She isn’t that bad.”

She may not be, but as if HE’D ever admit it.

哪怕要逆着光 就驱散黑暗

Even if I need to go against the light and disperse the darkness

“Senior Wei!” The juniors all screamed in fear. The Lans may have broken a few rules just by doing that, but desperate times call for desperate measures. 

“Fuck,” Wei Ying swore under his breath. This spirit was not a simple one, and they had fucking minions with them. He would’ve compared them to a mother duck and their ducklings if not for the fact they looked absolutely horrible. He looked back at the juniors and heaved a sigh.

Whistles could be heard as the juniors watched in both fear and awe how Senior Wei was actually communicating with the spirit using resentful energy. They never really saw it in action since he has tried to stop using demonic cultivation, he didn’t want the sects to think he was teaching them things like that.

A few more whistles which sounded eerie and the spirit let out a loud wail and collapsed, before fading.

The juniors all stood still for a few moments - Wei Ying thought they were finally afraid of him, before they all crowded him with stars in their eyes as they admired him.

有一万种的力量 淹没孤单

There are ten thousand kinds of power to drown the loneliness

“Wei-xiong!” Nie Huaisang’s voice rang out. Wei Ying froze before he slowly turned to face Nie Huaisang, who looked desperate, as if he couldn’t believe that Wei Wuxian himself was alive again.

“Nie-xiong,” was all he said before the Nie Sect Leader pounced on him, seemingly throwing away his last ounce of dignity. It’s fine, it’s worth it for this.

“Do not EVER die on me again,” Huaisang said in between sobs. Wei Ying chuckled before wrapping his arms around Huaisang tightly, warmly. 

“I’ll try, brother,” he murmured, patting the sect leader’s back. “I’ll try.”

不再孤单

No longer alone

“Wei Ying.”

“Lan Zhan.”

In the darkness, two broken lovers could only hold onto each other, ignoring reality. 

Right now, in each other’s embrace, the world finally felt whole.

---

Heya~ terribly sorry for being dead. I had no motivation. Hopefully this is good and HOPEFULLY it shows up in the tags.

[ohmahgodtheywereroomates]

Thoughts on the end of snk

Since my friends won't listen to me bragging about the last chapter, I decided to put my ideas on the void of the internet where no one is going to see it, sorry for my grammar I'm not a native speaker

So, for me this chapter was, like I was thinking after reading the 138, an epilogue more than an end (hope that make sense). By that I mean that the plot and the action of the manga more or less end with the death of eren. In this one, this is more about the consequences, it closes the storyline and come put an end to all this action.

One of the first important thing we witness is how much eren is lost. He makes us remember how much he's a impulsive and lost teenager. He's lost in the morality and the goals of his actions, and we can that even if he doesn't completely regret, that affects him a lot. Eren was trying to do something he believe he has to do and even looks scared of how far he had go. With the panel where he talks about mikasa, we can see that as much as he can acknowledge how he is wrong and is ashamed of it, he's sometimes still an egoist teenagers who had tried, failed and loved

We can also make some very important points about armin : in his facial expressions, we clearly see that even when he try to understand, he is sort of horrified by eren actions, he had see his best friend turns into a monster. For me, he doesn't forget eren but he is relieved his friend he's more lost than he is morally bad. I don't think that what he's doing is thanking eren for the genocide but more for trying his best. We see that he really wants to make the most of what eren left him, doesn't matter how shitty it his. (Like all those ppl are dead for shitty reasons but at least, we aren't going to let it be vain)

The ymir/eren/mikasa parallels are one of the most important thing for me. I see it this way :

-Ymir has picked love, regardless of how toxic it was over her will for freedom. She has chosen attachment.

-Eren loved his friends, comrades and Mikasa, but he abandoned his potential happier future for freedom.

The two are opposed and I think this is why Ymir has pick mikasa: like ymir years ago, mikasa was putting love over everything. She was like Ymir but in order to end this cycle, she had to take another decision, unlike Ymir, she had to let her attachment go by killing eren. She chose an other path than ymir' submission

The rest is about general complaints I have seen about the end : of course this wasn't perfect but none of the things bellow were a default: snk was always mortally grey and was putting an emphasis on the flaws of humanity, there were no big redemption arcs. The world was fucked up because human were fucked up. This world being cruel but sometimes beautiful is the essence of snk, a total happy ending would have been irrelevant (also ending something by genocide is the solution to the problems of society is a weird message)

So for me snk had ended with his first naive and entertaining theme : killing all the titans. So yeah this is not the end of wars and cruelty but the earth is a slidely better place.

So of course this wasn't perfect but I really don't understand the people complaining about how isayama lost the "spirit" of snk which was never the world is only cruel and everyone die and neither everything get better

For the character of mikasa, I think that her storyline was making sense like she's proceed to kill eren and let him go but I don't see how burying the most important person in her life was a bad choice, like she is going to make her grief and they never say that she isn't eventually going to move on. So yeah eren, even dead is still going to be an important part of her life (for armin too) which is logical since he was like a constant in their life. Her love to eren was never the default to overcomes, to me, it was her strength (because loving someone isn't a flaw you guys are weird), letting him go for the sack of the world was her challenge as a character

(There was of course discutable points like the thing with his mom or historia for example but I wait to have a more objective pov with time to criticize)

If anybody have read until this point, you have all my respect

Anyway, thank you isayama and good bye to the masterpiece which marks my soul forever