#you are such a genius

[kelddaa]

oh snappers!

[sickfreaksirkay]

“no rapping tonight"

why?

"you rap about arthurian knights everytime, it's embarrassing"

ok

[after one beer]

uh oh y'all i go into a trance a lot

[etoilesdeglace]

"That is an amazing D&D choice." (x)

[owldart]

They figured he was an angsty TEEN not an angsty THIRD GRADER

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[hansoeii]

stede bunnet

[hamletthedane]

Still laughing at Brian May offhandedly writing the greatest understatement in the history of academia in his astrophysics doctoral dissertation:

Ah, yes - “various pressures.” Like being one of the greatest guitarists ever and playing/writing/singing for the most legendary rock band of all time.

Those various pressures.

[a-sneaky-bagginses]

Gimli, who went through standard dwarf education: "We'll need to be careful to elevate the head and monitor 'is blood pressure for the next few hours."

Legolas, who grew up in the woods surrounded by other weird ass Mirkwood elves: "...Why don't we just ask the moon to fix him?"

[fincherly]

my gf was looking through wesker's wiki page (as you do) and sent me this

and i lost my shit bc it just seems like they're looking at him like girls look at a weird bug

[nataliescatorccio]

CHAPPELL ROAN Attends the Video Music Awards September 11th, 2024

[proudtobealuthor]

The way Teen’s tipping point was Agatha saying he was just like his mother and then showing off the infamous Wanda mind control powers and then getting his own lil crown

[i-ate-the-rats]

hehehehe oh shit indefinite sad dark shadow (⊙ˍ⊙).

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i vote that next year instead of reading Dracula we do a Jeeves & Wooster Book Club. those two never got the rabid tumblr shipping fandom they deserved (disqualified for the sheer technicality of being published a century too soon). we must correct this injustice

[a-bisexual-panicking]

zeus is a psychopath. orpheus is a singer. eurydice dies in the first episode. no one listens to cassandra. caeneus is trans. everyone is gay. this show is perfection.

[rosy-thorneded]

Examples of jokes I think Danny would make daily, but I haven't managed to write them into any of my fics yet:

Sam: Could you pass the remote?

Danny: You can pry it from my cold, dead hands.

Danny hands it over with no fuss.

-

Tucker: Hey, pass the ketchup

Danny: Over my dead body!

Danny arcs the ketchup over his head as he passes it to Tucker.

-

Jazz, calling through the house: Danny?! Where are you??

Danny on his bed: ON MY DEATH BED

-

Danny walking into any room, anywhere, at any given moment: this place is haunted

The joke is that it’s him. He's the ghost haunting it. Sam and Tucker hate this one because of how often he says it.

-

Goes ghost before he uses the phrases "You killed me" or "I'm dead" when something is funny.

-

Jazz whacks him over the head. (deserved)

Danny goes ghost the second her hand makes contact: MURDERER

-

Jazz: could you help me with-

Danny: I can't. I'm dead.

-

The classic "I guess I'll die" gag.

Tucker: You should probably go deal with that ghost, huh?

Danny: I guess I'll die

Goes ghost and flies off.

-

Dash: How about you eat shit and die

Danny: Well, I've already done one of those things.

Dash: D:

-

Sam, could be talking about literally anything: I would rather die

Danny: Same.

Sam: -_-

-

Sam: Danny, what did you do?!

Danny, who messed up: .....Deadmen tell no tales.

-

Danny, anytime anyone accidentally wakes him up: you're being loud enough to awaken the dead.

-

Danny: Paulina looks so pretty today

Sam: Seriously? You still have a crush on her? You know she'll never like you back.

Danny: you're being necrophobic

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Ooh, you want to know what happens at the gay bar run by ex-pirates, ooh...You'll just have to read Tiger Tiger to find out...

(Inspired by this Disco Elysium comic)