#you are enemy no1

[starlightparks]

gonna be a swiftie on main for a second because 2 nights in a row blondie has played my 2 absolute favourite songs of hers while i am not in the building.

hoax and dwoht are MINE. everyone keep their mitts away from my songs

[remnantglow]

i'm rereading the expanse and it's absolutely wild how james essay corey can write some of the most interesting+compelling female characters in fiction and then turn around and be like 'ok now let me fetishize her for a second tho'

[lokisasylum]

Can ya'll believe Jimin DID THAT?

Just him with a 6 song, EP debut solo album, 10 days of promotion only, no paid radio play, the whole industry (especially HIS OWN company) sabotaging him left and right. Every single fandom out to try and claim his records.

CRAZY, right?

[sapphire-weapon]

"It's not the game. That's not what we're arguing about. It is all about an inherent thing we do of social sorting. The reason we socially sort is because we want to put ourselves into a group that gives us a sense of belonging, a sense of friendship, love, whatever you want to call it, and creating a sense of identity through which you can express yourself. These are very important things to people. [...] That is what people are really fighting over. It's masked under all these arguments over these merits about the game, but that's not actually what people are fighting about. They are fighting to defend their sense of identity and belonging from those who they believe are attacking that with their opinions about the game. [...] "What you can do is at least be aware of what's really going on inside of you when you get these strong feelings -- when you see these opposing views to what you believe. [...] Realize what's happening -- realize what's really happening. Take a step back from that. You have this cognizant higher thinking part of your brain right here behind your freaking forehead that you can use to go, 'Hold on a second, emotional part back there. This actually isn't all that serious.' [...] "Because it's going to happen. You're going to have a feeling that comes up. You're going to see somebody who says something and you're just going to feel annoyed. You're going to feel angry. You're going to feel all those feelings. You don't have a choice in that, by the way. That's just going to happen to you. That's the part we're saying you can't control about your human nature. But you can control -- being aware of where that's really coming from -- how you go about responding to that. [...] "We have to wrestle with this. We have to wrestle with how we respond to this. Because [...] we have tools at our disposal that put us into contact with people who, it feels like, are threatening us all the time when they're not. They're not. They're not threatening you. It feels like they are -- it really feels like it. Trust me, I know exactly what you're feeling. [...] I could not control myself. I literally couldn't for a while. If I saw somebody say something like that, I felt the need to validate my position, clarify, tell this guy or girl or whoever was saying it why they're wrong. It's in me, too. [...] "And, I feel like, just in the past couple weeks, I had a little bit of a breakthrough, where I was looking through some comments and I saw something, and I just kind of laughed at it instead of getting angry. I laughed at it because it was wrong; I didn't get angry because it was wrong. Like, my brain -- the prefrontal cortex finally broke through and convinced the amygdala that: 'You can laugh at that; it's okay. You're not threatened. Just laugh it off and walk away. You don't have to fight this person. You don't have to engage. You don't have to prove that they didn't understand what you really meant. You don't have to do that. It's just a video game.'"

-- Mike from Resonant Arc, talking about video game discourse and shipping wars

[mazzystar24]

Okay this has got to be some sort of psychological phenomena because scrawny little guys letting the (justified) violent urges win (like kaz breker fighting, anytime Reid snaps,etc) is automatically so hot but if you get me a buff intimidating looking guy being soft, gentle etc they are ten times hotter than if they were in a fight scene

[blanceyblance]

Rant ahead

Something that's been bothering me a lot recently is the treatment some part of the TMNT fanbase treat the Rise part of the fanbase.

Are some Rise fans annoying af? Yeah, totally. I find them annoying too.

But here is the thing, every iteration has annoying af fans. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

I have heard people saying 03 fans are chill and I can clearly see those people have never seen the youtube comment section or the subreddit for TMNT. Same with 87's and the 90's movies and the 2012 show and the IDW comics.

Those are even worse, there you have openly bigoted fans being terrible people but somehow that doesn't make others a free pass to openly hate the iteration they are fans of. No, the annoying (mostly made of minors) are the true bane of this fanbase.

Mutant Mayhem is going to have their own section of annoying fans and the series following that will have them too because that's how fandoms work. So let's enjoy whatever we like and ignore what we don't.

[margle]

all of my favourite characters in the untamed have died.

[estcaligo]

Me after spending an entire day drawing Sebek and writing about Sebek

*Sebek x Prefect/reader (with future relocation to Briar Valley after marriage)

Perfect Correspondence

Sebek is by no means ignorant, but his inexperience with technology sometimes leads to confusing situations. He fumbles with phone features, misuses emojis, and often misinterprets the stamps your friends send in the group chat.

When you offer to teach him, he refuses with a firm shake of his head. "It's a temporary inconvenience," he insists, as in Briar Valley, nobody uses mobile phones. "It's a waste of time to learn such frivolities."

Instead, however, he proposes something far more fitting in his eyes - teaching you the etiquette of correspondence. In Briar Valley, where you'll relocate with him after marriage, letters remain a crucial form of communication. So, naturally, you agree.

After lectures, he takes you to the library, where you settle in a quiet corner. He brings an assortment of books on epistolary etiquette, along with papers and ink for practice. Respecting the library's quietude, Sebek keeps his voice low but commanding as he guides you through the nuances of crafting letters for various occasions: invitations, thank-you notes, requests, apologies - each with its own structure and form.

"It's not only what you write but how you write it!" he declares passionately, his voice briefly echoing a little louder than intended.

When you struggle to shape a particularly ornate letter according to etiquette, Sebek leans closer. His calloused hand gently envelops yours - hesitating for a moment at the warmth of your skin. Then, slowly, he guides your hand across the thick paper, merging your movements with his. Together, you trace the curves and lines on the thick paper, the ink flowing smoothly under his watchful gaze.

Even when the letter is finished, he doesn't let go - his hand lingers over yours as he glances down at the table. You can feel his warm breath against your neck - too close to focus on whatever is in front of you. "Good..." he murmurs, as if he hadn't just guided every stroke of the pen.

For a few stolen moments, neither of you moves, oblivious to the reason you came here in the first place. But then a muffled noise from deeper within the library snaps you out of the haze of tenderness that lingered in the air. Sebek quickly withdraws his hand, jolting upright in an effort to compose himself.

You suppress a smile, staring at the drying ink and trying to steady your racing heartbeat.

"It's already late. We shall continue tomorrow." he says, busying himself with gathering his belongings, his cheeks still faintly pink.

"Okay… Sebek?" you call softly.

"Hm?"

"Should I send you a thank-you letter after this session?" a sly smile faintly tugs at your lips.

"Hmph! Only if you can do it properly!" he retorts, crossing his arms in a display of indifference.

And you both know what "properly" means - not the right choice of ink or envelope, but a loving kiss planted at the Post Scriptum section.

[celestie0]

in holy matriphony | series masterlist.

gojo satoru x reader [18+] | angst, fluff, smut

ᰔ pairing. fake marriage au - next door neighbor!gojo x reader

ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is your extremely annoying next-door-neighbor who you're pretty sure is the most insufferable man you've ever met. given the fact that you exclusively work the night shift at a chaotic emergency department, just got broken up with your boyfriend of seven years, and have been taking care of your sick mother ever since her multitude of diagnoses, yet somehow your neighbor is the main source of stress in your life should speak volumes. but when your mother's medical bills start to skyrocket to more than you can manage, and you learn that said neighbor of yours has the best private health insurance in the country, you ask him to enter a matrimonial agreement with you for the spousal benefits all in the name of saving a few hundred thousand dollars. but you'll have to see if suffering cohabitation w him is worth any amount of money.

ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fem!reader, fluff, smut, angst, enemies to lovers (sort of), annoyances to lovers (that's more like it), small town romance, fake marriage, next door neighbors, lots of bickering, suburban shenanigans, slow burn, mutual pining, gojo likes to play house but you don't, hatred for the american healthcare system, gojo always forgets to mow the lawn, jealousy, an insane amount of profanity, some choso x reader, some suguru x reader, some crippling debt x reader; btw gojo in this fic is in his mid 30s n reader is in her late 20s

ᰔ warnings. reader in this fic has a sick mother w alzheimer's & cancer so there is secondary medical angst!!

ᰔ status. ongoing

ᰔ word count. 53.4k

ᰔ taglist. closed

☾·̩͙꙳ ao3 link :: header art by @/3aem

chapter index.

ch1. he said yes! congrats!

ch2. you may now kiss the bride

ch3. domestic encounters

ch4. in a mother's eyes

ch5. child's play

ch6. pending…

drabbles.

no1. new neighbor

no2. pending...

headcanons.

official headcanons pt1. fluff & crack | link

pt2. pending...

a note from the author. hello! my name is ellie, and this is my second long fic series called 'in holy matriphony' which i began posting earlier this year in april! this started off as such a small lil concept idea trashing on the american healthcare system, and now it's a fullblown fic. i have sooo much planned for this series, so admittedly it will be a long one, but i am so grateful to anyone that tags along for the ride :””) please let me know if i missed any tags or warnings! and for those who may want to know before reading, this series will have a happy ending <3

series tags. #in holy matriphony

[spyglahass]

what hc do you have about fwhimmy?

the people deserve to hear your thoughts as no1 fwhimmyer!

i needed to get my few braincells to work because i don't have many hcs, i have vibes

- Codfather's face and name are unknown to a wider public, especially his enemies. So when fWhip stole the Codfather's head and was met with the biggest prettiest most pathetic brown eyes he has ever seen, he almost regretted it immediately.

- fWhip does NOT know how to swim and Jimmy learned that the hard way when he threw the Count into the water once.

- He has been trying to teach him how to swim ever since.

- fWhip is definitely the more obsessed one. Like a schoolboy with a crush he will bother Jimmy just to get a reaction.

- By the time he realised he fell for Jimmy he believed it to be too late to do anything other than bully him even more, just so he can have any type of attention from the cod.

- But that also would make him protective or even possessive in a way, and fight anyone else that dared to mock Jimmy.

- Gem calls him a hypocrite because of that

[thr0wnawayy]

Dissecting the Jaku General Hospital Disaster and MHA's failures with complexity

Ahhh, The Jaku Hospital Raid. The point where MHA's story went from it's ever increasing decline to throwing itself right off a cliff.

(boooring)

I think most can agree this event was a travesty writing/plot wise, but how about all of those in regards to MHA's setting. Well that's what I'd like to discuss.

Point 1: A Goal Without a Plan is a Dream

The plan summed up is "fuck around and find out".

The heroes came in to uncharted enemy territory relying soley on brute force, broke a bunch of equipment that did God knows what (for all they knew, it could have been lethal*).

Then they proceed to shoot themselves in the foot by getting too cocky, despite knowing that Shigaraki was undergoing some sort of procedure. X-less shoots a machine that for all he knew could have been a bomb or generator. Why?, because he had a "bad feeling".

* I'm talking potential toxic fumes, gas leaks, accidental combustion, etc

Now let's focus on the evacuation effort...

Oh.

Oh FUCK!

That's it!?. A couple hundred dozen heroes and a select handful of first and third year's.

One of whom, mind you, is strictly combat oriented by the (extremely niche) capabilities of his quirk. What can Bakugo actually do here?, in the worst case scenario (being Shigaraki's awakening) he's limited to one arm and two legs (maybe his mouth?). That will further drag him down due to his quirk relying on both hands to be viable.

And we see this!

Moving along.

Another thing they didn't count on was outside help. The moment Gigantomechia arrives, it throws another curve ball. With the only reason for their survival being Dues-Ex-Machina Best "Dirty laundry" Jeanist.

They failed in the end anyways because a large portion of the LOV+ the MLA escaped.

Point 2: Organisms Used for Nefarious Means

I will keep this section brief

Nomu are in my opinion one of the biggest wastes of potential MHA produced. Going from being unnatural goliaths capable of striking dread into the hearts of even the long standing No1 Hero, to being undead cannonfodder that heroes can beat up so the audience doesn't question their ethics or (lack of) morality.

It is a sheer miracle that the Nomu didn't leave the heroes worse for wear. This is again more due to Hori relying too heavily on "convince" and not enough on in-world solutions, but I digress.

The Nomu should have been the biggest threat and again, the heroes failed to account for this. They had no way of knowing, sure.

But they should have accounted this early on. What about the civilians, evacuating them isn't enough as seen in Hosu. I mean they were walking into a lab and they had dealt with Nomu facilties before (Kamino)

Were there inpatients during the raid? and if so were they evacuated or did the Heroes say "fuck it." Given what eas allowed at Central Hospital I wouldn't put it past them.

Point 3: A civilians point of view.

I want you to imagine for a moment: You're a civilian and your whole life, you've been told how wonderful heroes are and how they'll always be there, after all they're heroes.

Sure, they may dictate what quirks are "in" and maaaybe they have a tad to much influence over your average person but they're licensed and your not.

Why question it?

Then one day everyone and everything you've known is just blown away. Heroes barge into your house and begin scrambling to get you and your family out of your house before something happens, they dont tell you what.

It is a sloppy and hurried effort, your life's belongings tucked into a small carryon if you're lucky and some plastic bags if you're not. They tell you it's probably only temporary and you'll be back to normal shortly.

Then the nearby Hospital blows up. You and your family can only watch as heroes flee from the scene, some rising into the sky, others sprinting like hell. You barely make it out alive yourselves.

Within minutes everything is gone and it's not until the fightings iver that you hear it. You hear people (you think it's your neighbors) pleading in pain underneath the rubble, a little girl can be heard sobbing somewhere in the torn landscape.

Everything's been torn upside down.

And the heroes, the poeple you've depended on your whole life...

They quit. They say they need to find another line of work.

Is that what you are to them!?. Just another line of work, a number on a tally!?.

Worse still. The NUMBER ONE HERO has just been exposed by his presumed to be dead son for being a child beating, wife trafficking, eugenist with an implication that some, if not all of his children were made against the mother's will.

The current Number 2 murdered a man for the "greater good" (what even is "good" anymore).

The people who were supposed to protect you are quitting in droves, leaving vast portions of city to fall to villains and are refusing to take any responsibility for their negligence and poor planning that made an already bad situation worse.

Oh, also the single most dangerous villain in history has broken out of Tartarus and multiple prisons have been destroyed leading to further destruction.

This is then followed by a "blackout" period. Heroes give zero insight into what they're doing or what their plan is. Mutant discrimination is running wild, support gear is flooding the streets and any protests are being silenced.

So I'll ask you again, how do you react?.

Point 4: Hubris

Over all the entire operation was a complete and utter failure. I see alot of people giving the civilians flack for their strong reactions, but honestly I can't blame 'em.

The issue is Hori paints the narrative to minimize the damage towards the heroes. (For example he characterizes one of Enji's critics as a snobby shut-in surrounded by trash bags). We only ever see the worst aspects of the civilians because Hori has consistently failed to delve into anything beyond surface level emotion/themes.

Eri is a good example, she should be a very different character. She should be allowed to show her trauma and all the "ugly" emotions and baggage that come with that, we as the audience should see the lasting impact being killed repeatedly has had on her.

For example, Eri should be very adverse to touch. A problem that started with her father and was worsened by Kai.

She should be expressing her trauma through play (think reenacting her "surgeries" on dolls)

She should be distrustful and even cold (especially after Mirio abadoned her).

Her inability to smile might stem from a lack of viewing her self as equal to others, viewing herself as more of an object than human being.

But do we ever see this. No.

Because Hori doesn't let us. He simply as a writer, cannot appropriately handle or even seem to grasp complexity and every part of the story suffers because of it.

With the civilians it's no different and as a result Hori whether intentionally or not, twists the narrative to make them seem unreasonable.

This doesn't help when from what we've seen a shocking amount of MHA's main cast are drenched in hypocrisy. The only experiences we've had with the civilian population is through Shigaraki's backstory (bad) Toga's parents (very bad).

It's just not a good look.

Conclusion:

Over-all, the Raid and by extention the war was a mess in every aspect and I personally think the story would have been better off doing something else.

The time wasted here could have gone to any number of things (how about fleshing out the non existant world building) but I honestly believe that it would have been subpar regardless, it's all to apparent Hori had no idea where he wanted the story to go. That can be seen as far back as everything post MVA.

Just, what a mess.

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

I know this might sound strange as the polls market Manjiro “Mikey “ Sano as public enemy number 1 as both partner and husband but i honestly care about him(yes I’ve read the manga ) I’m sorry but this is my confession I wholeheartedly care for Mikey

Oh it's ok! He was actually voted no1 in the most popular character polls, so he's not unpopular or hated (though the fandom was fairly anti Mikey when the last arc was going on). I think it's nice how he means so much to you and to others!

[neyafromfrance95]

Question!

So when they leave Numenor in s1, Galadriel is wearing a fancy armor set (a gift... by someone... hmm I wonder who) and her hair is loose. (Halbrand more or less DRINKS her in, accepts the hand she offers, side eyes Elendil for interrupting The Moment TM... I got side tracked...) My point was the hair. It's loose. The sun is high when they leave. The next we see her it is almost dawn and they're nearing land... Galadriels hair is in a braid, and stays that way, from that convo with Isildur to what, Eregion? When she delivers a wounded Halbrand for elven healing.

All this to say that yes, sure, Galadriel could have done that herself.

But also... have we considered... the Alternative? I mean. Her walk up to Halbrand on that ship was framed like the start of a wedding. It only stands to follow!

(Gimme Galadriel and the guilt of knowing she let THE enemy braid her hair in some twisted courting ritual.)

((Cmon show i know you can frame it in a very suggestive way lmao))

first of all, that scene when they are about to leave numenour is my absolute no1 favorite! the knight unknowingly becoming comrades with the demon she is trying to slay vibes of it all!

and i love the idea that sauron would braid her hair! omg, we just know he is OBSESSED with her hair and the idea of taking care of it for her, so i bet he was waiting to take a shot at that.

[eccentricgrace]

silly texts || peter parker

summary: as you could guess. a compilation of silly texts between peter and co.

tags: humor, fluff, memes, texting fic

wc: 1,686

cross-posted on wattpad under the same name!

fos crew

arachkid: dude i cannot keep swinging past madison square garden

arachkid: i don't even know how it's possible but they keep thinking i'm not real and now i have an ice-cream stain on my suit

Nedward: DID THEY THROW ICECREAM AT YOU

Nedward: LMFAOOOOOOO

arachkid: i just don't understand how would i be a fake

arachkid: i am literally IN THE AIR

em jay: average new yorker versus common sense

Nedward: If only they could see your glorious muscles from the ground

Nedward: then there would be no doubt

arachkid: i'm so tired 😭

em jay: are you coming to class tmrw peter

arachkid: yeah! why

em jay: think about it

arachkid: thinking

need leds

peper partker: help

need leds: Tomorrow is decathlon lol

fos crew

arachkid: yes im coming to decathlon

em jay: Ned.

Nedward: he ASKED

em jay: i'm putting you both next to flash

em jay: table for people with no backbone

arachkid: ☹️

Nedward: Booo! Flash is gonna make me answer his quiz questions if you sit me next to him

arachkid: what's the quiz on

Nedward: history

arachkid: he's asking you for history???

em jay: may his grades rest in peace

Nedward: [attached image]

em jay: lol

arachkid: ohs hit got to go i hear distress

Nedward: "i hear distress" bro thinks he's an avenger

em jay: honorary avenger

Nedward: Dont get shot again tho pete thanks for keeping our city safe n all that 🫡

em jay: the fact that you have to say "again"

Nedward: HES JUST

Nedward: I THOUGHT HE COULD DUCK BULLETS AND STUFF

Nedward: THE LITERAL BLOOD STAINS ON MY CARPET SAYS OTHERWISE

em jay: skill issue just clean blood better

Nedward: you say that like you just KNOW how to clean blood. like that's a normal thing

em jay: think about it

Nedward: Thinking

Nedward: shit nvm I cant even ask Peter for backup bc he's on patrol

Nedward: I'm just gonna go with the cool mysterious idea that you're up to some shady business and I'm not going to ask questions about it

em jay: [attached image]

em jay: ok i KNOW you took a health class

em jay: the american education system is terrible but don't let me down like this

Nedward: OHHHH

Nedward: the monthly witch's sacrament

em jay: everyday i ask god why i'm friends with you two and everyday she refuses to answer me

arachkid: i was gone for five seconds hwhat

em jay: welcome back public enemy no1 what was the distress

arachkid: ok i'm gomna choose not to read into what you just called me there

arachkid: anyways hotdog guy arguing w the slushy guy again

Nedward: AINT NO WAY

em jay: ???again?????

Nedward: MJ DO YOU NOTCKNOW ABOUT THE SLUSHY HOTDOG FEUD

em jay: wtf are you talking about

em jay: wait is this what you meant when you told me the other day to not buy hotdogs off 3rd ave

arachkid: no that's different

Nedward: Wait What's wrong w the hotdog stand on 3rd

arachkid: i've had to talk to him like three times on patrol to stop creeping on girls that r walking by

em jay: gross. what's his ip

em jay: ned

Nedward: Are you trying to get me to use my powers for evil

em jay: does this look like evil-doing to you

Nedward: .

Nedward: Give me one second

arachkid: no need

arachkid: Mr stark is already taking care of it

arachkid: so if he suddenly goes missing don't question it too much

em jay: won't need to question it at all if i get to him first

arachkid: terrifying!

Nedward: I love that it's not directed at us anymore though

em jay: ok but can we go back to the 'slushy dog' feud peter you still haven't answered what the hell that means

arachkid: oh yeah so basically on 71st st there's this slushy guy that keeps coming up with the most disgusting flavors i've ever imagined in my life

arachkid: last time i swung by this guy was doing pickle slushies or something like i can't make this stuff up

Nedward: [attached image]

Nedward: FOUL

Nedward: Didnt you say one time he had done toothpaste slushy

arachkid: yes.

em jay: hm

arachkid: so slushy guy is infamous in that part of the neighborhood basically

arachkid: but then there's HOTDOG GUY

Nedward: Hotdog guy MVP

arachkid: he's new i think?? but he strolled up and he's like, he's the most serious hot dog guy

arachkid: like ever, probably

em jay: can one be serious about hot dogs?

arachkid: this guy can. this guy can

arachkid: apparently he's from chicago so he's like, he makes chicago hot dogs ?? and he hates slushy guy. he literally. he hates slushy guy so much

arachkid: and slushy guy is so funny abt it bc he keeps setting up right next to him and asking him about whether he thinks mustard or ketchup slushies would be a hit and rhat they could be business partners

arachkid: i have had to break up a fight like every two weeks it's insane

em jay: enemies to lovers slow burn 500k word

Nedward: Whaf does that mean💀

em jay: you're unbelievable

arachkid: [attached image]

le artiste

sunshine incarnate: MJ

sunshine incarnate: MJ

sunshine incarnate: MJ

le artiste: what

le artiste: are u ok

le artiste: are you dying

sunshine incarnate: no

le artiste: no you're not ok or no you're not dying

sunshine incarnate: no i'm fine

sunshine incarnate: can you help me i'm doing lit homework

le artiste: sorry i can't read

sunshine incarnate: MJ PLEASE

sunshine incarnate: what are you doing

le artiste: rereading pride and prejudice

sunshine incarnate: thafs not the book we're doing the report on??

sunshine incarnate: wait shit is it

sunshine incarnate: do i have the wrong book

le artiste: no of course it's not you're not that stupid

le artiste: ... what book do you have though.

sunshine incarnate: photo of dorian grey

le artiste: ... picture

sunshine incarnate: hm?

le artiste: picture of dorian grey

sunshine incarnate: oh my bad

le artiste: either way. so sorry to tell you but

sunshine incarnate: no...

le artiste: you have the wrong book

le artiste: that's the one she assigned to the honors class

sunshine incarnate: aurghrhhh

sunshine incarnate: do you know which one do i need

le artiste: your period was assigned wuthering heights

le artiste: do you have a copy

sunshine incarnate: i'll look around, may might

le artiste: do you have patrol tonight?

sunshine incarnate: mmm nope i finished earlier why

le artiste: come on over, ill lend you my copy

sunshine incarnate: really!!!

le artiste: yeah

le artiste: get here in fifteen minutes and you won't miss mr darcy proposing

sunshine incarnate:

le artiste: bring your homework with you

le artiste: nerd

flash (not gordon)

flash (not gordon): PETER

penis parker: oh my god what

penis parker: why are you yelling

flash (not gordon): Caps lock

flash (not gordon): Didn't mean to

penis parker: what is it

flash (not gordon): Were presenting our phys thing tomorrow

penis parker: yeah i know??

flash (not gordon): Don't skip

penis parker: was not planning to

thee tony stark

thee tony stark: Get out of school free card.

thee tony stark: Trouble downtown, would be a good opportunity for some training. What say you?

spidey-kid: hes

spidey-kid: jges

spidey-kid: fhes

spidey-kid: tes

thee tony stark: Don't hurt yourself.

spidey-kid: yes

spidey-kid: gotta be back in school for fourth period though

thee tony stark: Sure.

spidey-kid: ok so do you want me to swing over there or do you have other plans

thee tony stark: I'm outside.

spidey-kid: oh! ok

spidey-kid: do i wear my suit outside?

thee tony stark: Not unless you want Martha down the hall knowing that you're Spider-Man.

spidey-kid: i don't live next to a martha??

spidey-kid: oh you were joking

thee tony stark: Get outside, kid.

spidey-kid: brt

flash (not gordon)

flash (not gordon): Peter

flash (not gordon): Where the hell are you

flash (not gordon): Peter we present third in the class

flash (not gordon): YOU SAID YOU WERENT SKIPPING YOU ASSHOLE

flash (not gordon): [attached image]

flash (not gordon): Second presenters are up Peter I swear to god

flash (not gordon): WHERE ARE YOU!!!!

flash (not gordon): 😡😡😡😡😡😡

flash (not gordon): PETER!!!!

penis parker: SrIRY IA AM RRNTING TO CLASF RIGHT NIW

flash (not gordon): You are the WORST

fos crew

em jay: we as a society need to make sure peter doesn't walk through the school doors without being thoroughly checked for evidence

Nedward: Ayo??

arachkid: i dont wanna talk about it

em jay: too bad! guess what i just watched this loser do

Nedward: What did he do💀💀

em jay: bro gave an entire presentation with flash and the whole time is mask is STICKING OUT OF HIS BACK POCKET

Nedward: PETER💀💀💀💀💀

em jay: from me trying to let him know that, his mask is sticking out of his pocket, to flash trying to subtly sneak over to help hide it from everyone else, to peter who won't shut up about magnetism

em jay: what a class. holy shit

Nedward: I wish I had physics with you guys my class was boring as hell

Nedward: Did flash actually succeed

em jay: i mean

em jay: ok so he got close enough to grab the mask but then peter must have bugged out or something bc he stopped talking very suddenly and was holding flash's arm

em jay: so the mask was just. sitting there. and of course both of them are now looking like fish out of water so i said a joke and had to deflect for them

Nedward: Michelle jones mvp where would we be without you

em jay: i dread to imagine it

arachkid: i have had a very long and hard day

Nedward: It's fine dude!! now you can just solo as our school's infamous spider-man cosplayer

em jay: gonna have to battle flash for the spidey no1 fan title

arachkid: everyone in this group chat is so mean to me

[s4turns-st4rs]

𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡

🎧 ﹐ ♡﹒carlos alcaraz social media au ﹒ ᶻ ᶻ

𝐚/𝐧: this gif 🥰🥰 new fandom !! watching the aus open made me feel things. hopefully more tennis themed fics coming soon. also apologies tumblr destroyed the quality of some of these lol. anyway enjoy lovelies xxx

in which: with carlos, rivals is a term used loosely.

faceclaim: the lovely agustina ruiz !!

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: none!

𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠: bang bang - momma

y/n_y/l/n

liked by iga.swiatek, carlitosalcarazz and 28,826 others

y/n_y/l/n for my wine girlies xoxo

iga.swiatek i’ll be your wine girlie

╰─▸ y/n_y/l/n always baby 💋

╰─▸ iga.swiatek 💋

username19 baby boy @carlitosalcarazz must be fuming

╰─▸ username93 but the y/n & iga shippers are being FED.

╰─▸ y/n_y/l/n sorry baby boy @carlitosalcarazz

╰─▸ username38 giggling they called him baby boy 🤭

y/n_y/l/n

liked by carlitosalcarazz, australian.open, and 38,257 others

y/n_y/l/n how do i always pose the same? anyway hellOo melbourne, i am in you 🎉🎉

username52 @carlitosalcarazz must be overjoyed 🥰

╰─▸ @carlitosalcarazz i am (not) 😌

carlitosalcarazz

liked by y/n_y/l/n, jannik.sin, and 39,826 others

carlitosalcarazz touchdown in melbourne !!

username69 THE COFFEE DATE ???

╰─▸ username IT MUST BE Y/N LOOK AT THE TATTOOS

╰─▸ username42 they arrived at the same time too !!

╰─▸ username82 the enemies -> lovers pipeline is real 🎉

y/n_y/l/n

liked by carlitosalcarazz, iga.swiatek, jannik.sin and 72,728 others

y/n_y/l/n on @thetennispodcast today, go give it a listen !!

carlitosalcarazz omg you said you wouldn’t post that picture

╰─▸ y/n_y/l/n sorry not sorry

╰─▸ y/n_y/l/n also you can’t cook xoxo

╰─▸ carlitosalcarazz you are an ass

╰─▸ y/n_y/l/n love you too bbg

╰─▸ carlitosalcarazz i hate you.

username27 THEY HAVE TO BE DATING I WILL NOT ACCEPT ANY OTHER OPTIONS

username82 THEY SAID THEY LOVE HIM ARE YOU SERIOUS

╰─▸ username76 AND THEY CALLED HIM BBG ???

username53 RIVALS MY ASS THESE BITCHES ARE MARRIED

iga.swiatek

liked by y/n_y/l/n, carlitosalcarazz, mariasakkari, and 48,386 others

iga.swiatek aus open 🎉 ft bowling with y/n & carlos (how am i third-wheeling again?)

y/n_y/l/n why must you expose me in this way?

╰─▸ iga.swiatek sorry not sorry

username48 @ iga.swiatek y/n x carlos no1 hater 😔

username93 absolutely dating

╰─▸ username19 parents 🥰🥰

{ instagram }

1 notification from @carlitosalcarazz

{ @carlitosalcarazz }

meet me at my hotel in 5.

[yippeeometer]

Hmmmm what about nj/ny ship

im actually obsessed bc they both think theyre being so natural and normal and cool ab having crushes on each other but its the most obvious and sickening behavior youve ever seen.

like theyre so incapable of acting regularly around each other. theyre so repressed they just have this now primal urge to stare at each other with the most intensity anyone can do

though in terms of flirting 1000% jersey is better at it. he has no self respect hes very willing to slide into ur dms 'hey baby what that ass do' when hes drunk whilst there are rock sculptures less stiff than york. complete weirdos. jersey on his eleventh 'hey babyyyy' text whilst york is responding like hes never said words before.

and i do think theyre eternally going to be the most insufferable love story you've ever come across. them getting together would require a) one of them to get over themselves and admit theyre crushing and b) emotional reasoning beyond the range of a fucking lemon.

for these reasons im afraid we'll all suffer.

god people must be SICK of them. penn twitching having to sit next to hours of jersey attempting to flirt with ny (he's asking him hypothetical questions) and ny flirting back (he's said more than an one word sentence).

look and i do believe theyre the type to hide their relationship but in insane ways. you walk in on them fighting multiple times and are shocked they r actually dating. turns out theyre just both really really into those fighter video games and are reenacting scenes from them to throw people off the scent

they do deserve each other really like theyre both deeply insecyre individuals so im sure the knowlegde that theyre constantly on their weird little friend enemies's mind fills them with joy.

god they suckkkkkk. they suck. half of what they do all day is quiz each other on deeply niche pop culture. then they take a short break to make out but in a way thats deeply carnal. then back to the pop culture fight.

do i think this relationship is unhinged and that as people, they should work on their emotional issues? yes. however. i also think smashing them together like barbies is adorable and thats why ill always be a yorksey no1.