#you are being intentionally misguided >:)

[the-snadger]

this photo of untouched books my mom gave me as a tween vs. books i checked out this week at the library feels like a poem in and of itself. i do not have the words but do you see me

[valleynix]

Before I go further into the story... I'VE DONE RESEARCH. And I have one more theory. I hope I managed to make it make sense it was hard to gather thoughts into words.

So the Megamycete can store the consciousnesses of people that are infected/died. It is also capable of creating a whole new realm.

So, I think when the blackouts happen Reader finds themselves in the world created by the Megamycete. The people they see are pieces/versions/copies of their and other people's (like Dimis) consciousness. Since there was a calmer version of Daniela, I assume there can be a scarier, more feral version(s) of the Reader too.

Now I think Miranda is, perhaps, running tests on the Reader, on the different copies/versions of their consciousness like it was with Rose in the DLC. Maybe they're supposed to go through some kind of scenario(s)?

To see which version will succeed and in what circumstances.

But it seems most (if not all) failed. That's why the "Not enough, not good, can’t help" lines.

That would explain the feeling of deja vu, that Reader already spent time with Dimitrescus. Those could be the memories of a different version of the Reader that had already gone through the scenario.

But I don't know if this is the version that Miranda chose as destined to succeed or if it's a random consciousness on loose?

(Or the Reader the story we follow is still a test subject and none of this is actually real like idk they're trapped in their body, their mind stuck in the fake realm)

But... yeah, what was Miranda's goal. This is the part of theory I have doubts about but let's go.

It's strange but for me it looks like Miranda wanted Reader to like... neutralise the Dimitrescus? But Reader became attached to them so they didn't want to hurt them. So Miranda forced them by getting into their head. (Since it was mentioned she can do that)

In those blackouts I feel like Reader becomes hostile toward them sometimes, like they're not completely themselves.

The ch6 blackout looks like Reader (even if didn't want it) attacked them (perhaps even killed one of them) but failed at defeating them all.

And Miranda(?) said they weren't ready, but she can try again. As in, use another copy of the Reader perhaps? To make them go through this all again and see if this time they'll be successful.

So when those people the Reader sees say they're not good enough, they can't help. Maybe they mean they can't fight against Miranda to stay sane and not hurt the people they grew to care about.

There was a line "I can't let her win" so perhaps they mean they can't let Miranda take over their mind and make them fight against Dimitrescus.

Idk why she would want them dead tho😭 so I may be so horribly stupidly wrong about this part but yeah

before i get started partially answering your theory (because i don't want to spoil anything), can i just tell you how much i ADORE this theory??? like... oh my god. i love the thought and work you clearly put into making it and i will cherish it <33

i will say that you did pick up on a few things!! and something you did hit PERFECTLY (but i will not say which part >:) ). it's very interesting seeing theories pop up before the reveal because, truthfully, everything is written as if there are several possibilities, if that makes sense?

like, it's intentionally misleading so that you won't really know what's going on until the reveal, but the clues/hints/foreshadowing can lead to multiple outcomes. i am tired and my vision is blurry so i hope this makes sense BAHA

i believe Miranda's motives are either hinted at or said in chapter eight/nine, but when/if you get there, i'd be happy to clarify her reasoning for doing All That and why she wants to Dimitrescus (and everyone else) dead. i really can't remember if i did go into detail about it or if it was all simply implication; i'd have to go back and reread :o

but listen, nah. we don't insult theories here >:( i had fun reading what you think is going on and all the evidence you have to back yourself up; no theory is a stupid one! i intentionally wrote it so that you most likely wouldn't know what exactly was going on, but you did come very close in some areas and 100% got some others :D

i do look forward to hearing what else you have to say as you continue reading <33

[traceybrakes]

Let's Talk About Un-ironicizing Art!

In light of a lot of the conversations i've seen surrounding Death Grips and recent events concerning them, I want to take the time to point out that this is a good time to start thinking about how we engage with art on the whole!

For a long time, the irony poisoned method of consumption went unchecked in all facets of internet culture. As an internet musician in current day, I have noticed a sharp disconnect between artists and enthusiasts/casual listeners when it comes to attitudes surrounding music specifically, though I've witnessed it permeate all forms of art in some way.

I see people who have grown scared to engage on deeper levels, intentionally severing any resonant connections or knowledge learned from a piece of media before it has the chance to take root. In short, dare to be vulnerable! Dare to enjoy something on the basis that you yourself resonate with it, and not for any other nebulous reasoning. When masses of people relegate art to a spectacle, not only do artists become more likely to be disenchanted with the passions that fuel their work, but the audience ultimately suffers as well. All art at that point becomes less an extension of ourselves, less a vehicle to explore our identities, and is rendered a meaningless hulking sludge, or worse, the opponent to an already shrinking and narrow worldview.

Be not afraid to be unabashedly in love with the work that inspires you. Be not afraid to have the things you love misunderstood by some. When you engage with work new and old, make sure to do it for yourself. Making and observing art is inherently selfish, but being selfish is not inherently misguided. Allow yourself to learn, grow, discover, and repeat that cycle until the day you die.

To speak more candidly about my own experience, throughout the course of my life, there has been art that I've held near and dear to my identity, and own journey of self discovery that I seldom find others who hold the same sentiments to. I've always found this exciting. Exciting to hold something close to my chest as something so personal, and even more exciting when I can ease up on that grip when I find someone who I can share that with. However, I've also been through the throes of how the internet tends to chew up and spit out art that generally isn't understood by the many. I've fallen victim myself to the hive mind mentality that circles some artists and the cult of non-identity around them. This off-color ouroboros of knowing all about an artist's work and simultaneously upholding this facade of vapid complacency. I've come to the conclusion that if being openly supportive and connected to an artist's work or a particular piece of work automatically renders a person uninteresting and unambiguous at the very least, then I will live happily as an uninteresting open book. At the worst times, we see this line of thinking contribute to Death Grips being mocked and belittled en masse by people who are unwilling to engage with their art before they even get that far. It's heartbreaking, to me at least to see people put so much effort, emotion, and passion into transforming culture for the better to be rewarded with a crowd that's plugging their ears.

I realize I run the risk of sounding self indulgent, or even patronizing to an extent; I apologize because that isn't my intention, I'm hoping to see gears shift at least on a micro level surrounding attitudes towards art appreciation. Remember to dare to be in love holistically with the art you engage with! Speak of the things you love in a way that makes that clear to others, and consider your peers to do the same! You and the people around you can only be better off for it.

[osmanthus-wine-addiction]

09 Edging

Zhongli x Reader / NSFW / Zhongli is a cold-hearted meanie in here, but you deserve it for being a flirty little brat / Possessive Zhongli / Filthy smut because the prompt demands it

Your beloved was such a polite and considerate man. Everyone who was familiar with him held that impression, including you. Mister Zhongli was always soft-spoken, always fair, always generous with his praises and compliments, giving credit where due.

So naturally, it would come as a surprise to be proven wrong. Although his tone would always remain gentle and patient, his actions would show you that this man was capable of being the cruelest bastard in all of Teyvat if he found a good reason to.

Alright, so maybe you had brought it on yourself. Maybe you deserved to be reminded that your beloved was the archon of Liyue at one point and authority was such a familiar thing to him. Nobody dared to cross him, intentionally that is. You, in all your misguided confidence, decided to not only ignore his request to keep your distance from a particularly charismatic guest at the gathering, but proceeded to flirt with them right in front of his face. Now, Zhongli was never outwardly a jealous man. You'd have to dig deep, peel back quite a few layers to get there. Tonight, with just a few careless words and a bit of wine, you had managed to awaken that slumbering dragon in him.

"Please… please, I need…" You choked on your words, begging like you had never begged in your life.

"I was under the impression that you could do without me, dear. How come you are going back on your words?" The cruel gentleman asked as if he hadn't just denied you an orgasm for the fourth time.

You grit your teeth, panting and heaving like you had just fought and lost a battle with an impossible opponent. Frustration was a form of arousal, you found out after he pulled out the first time. Each time he put a stop to your impending climax, the next one came with an even more vicious urgency. Your heart would beat so frantically, it felt like it would explode as your back arched off the bed.

"I was wrong!" You wailed, crying and sobbing as if you were truly ridden with remorse. "Please… let me have it… I'll be good! I promise! Z-Zhongli!"

"Dear. Look at you. If you had heeded my words, I would not have to resort to disciplining you in this manner."

"Please…" You whimpered as he continued to exert punishment on your swollen, overstimulated hole.

"Poor thing." He cooed, reaching out to tidy your disheveled hair a bit. "Do you want it so badly?

Zhongli leaned over you, close enough for the tassel dangling from his ear to tickle your face. You nodded desperately, eyes glassy from crying so much.

You were so tired, so frustrated. His constant edging drove you delirious with need. Your voice was hoarse from all the begging and whining. Your body shook as he drove into your wet and waiting hole, pumping in and out with brutal strokes. There was no more need for gentleness and patience. You want him to fuck you deep and hard until your mind becomes incoherent mush. Then perhaps you could momentarily forget how mean he was being to you.

"Please… please… Just let me come…"

A steady stream of pleas spill from your lips, mingling with his shallow breaths and grunts. You throw your head back, words replaced by whimpers. He brings you so incredibly close, you could almost taste the sweet release.

Just when you're about to tip over, the feeling vanishes. Your slicked walls clench helplessly, but he's already pulled out. Tears roll down your cheeks as you sob uncontrollably. Your mind was still a complete mess, unable to comprehend that another orgasm has been snatched from you. All you can do is lay there underneath the cruel bastard, crying like the tortured little thing you are.

Zhongli's conscience finally returns. He kisses you softly on the forehead and whispers apologies into your ear as you catch your breath. Very slowly, he reenters you. Your poor hole had been abused all night, puffy and raw despite being drenched in your slick.

"Are you alright, my dear?" He asks you.

"No." You replied, voice coming out halfway between a whine and a sob. "Are you going to let me come this time?"

He chuckles, placing another kiss on your tearstained cheeks. "It seems you've learned your lesson. I have no reason to further punish you."

You wrap your arms around his neck as he fucks you slow and deep, lips finding yours as he works up a gradual pace. Your breathing gets short and your lips part to let out a high pitched moan. Zhongli groans as he feels you clenching needily around his cock. This time, he intends to bring you all the way to the finish.

"Heartless." You huffed in between moans.

"I could say the same about you as well, my dear. You can be quite insensitive when you have one too many glasses."

Zhongli pins your thighs against your body as his cock impales you over and over. Whimpers spill from your lips as he drives into you at a maddening pace.

You tremble as the familiar sensations begin to wash over you. Pleasure clouds your mind like a thick fog. Everything stills for a split second. All the pent-up frustration and tension culminates into a single, tight coil that comes undone all at once. Convulsions rake your body as your walls cave around him.

Warm cum floods your insides, seeping out and soaking the sheets beneath you. Zhongli pulls out with a groan, cock drenched in cum and slick. Thick ribbons of milky white spilled from your hole, some of it still connected to his cock in glistening threads.

Turned out you weren't the only one tortured tonight from the amount of cum still leaking from his tip. How he managed to last this long, you didn't need to know. All you needed to know was that you should definitely watch your alcohol intake from now on, unless you wanted to purposely invite the wrath of a very jealous, very possessive god.

[redeyeliner]

watching mouthwashing in chronological order really shows you how fucked everyone in the tulpar is just from the mere presence of jimmy

7 days before the crash you can tell how much this man just craves control. if being co-captain of the ship isn’t enough, it’s really evident he wants to be in curly’s position with how critical he is about everything going on in the ship, even towards curly, who sees him as an equal and would go foot and nail to excuse his shitty behavior simply because he’s his friend.

hell he’d go as far as to intentionally crash the ship because people like him thrive in the only environment where they know they have control!!

i think being co-captain really gave jimmy a sort of purpose in life (even if he lowkey hates it) because it’s better than the life he had on earth

so jimmy never wanting to leave the tulpar (and successfully doing so) was him selfishly wanting to keep everything as it is because to him, it’s the only way he can remotely control the decisions he makes in the ship which he ultimately does not take responsibility for

(and also this man is just delusional as fuck bc it makes me think how funny it is that he thought killing himself and saving curly was the ultimate act of heroism when in actuality he never took responsibility for anything and just took the easy way out lol)

(also him hearing curly say “I can fix this” once and then taking that to heart during events after the crash just proves how much this guy idolizes curly to the point of jealousy and sabotaging the lives of everyone else to fuel his very misguided delusions LOL)

[valyrfia]

am I incredibly cynical if I say that him and McLaren PR have noticeably doubled down on Lando’s struggles with mental health since his general misguided cockiness has radicalised a majority of the F1 community against him or

No you are not because i feel the same. They really use his struggle with mental health just whenbthey need it

I think that mental health is a difficult topic to approach with the nuance needed because it is such an emotional one and I can already see "user valyrfia on tumblr used LANDO'S STRUGGLES against him!", but nonetheless I think McLaren have folded it into their PR strategy and it leaves a really bitter taste in my mouth. Bad mental health can explain you being an asshole but it doesn't excuse you being an asshole.

In general I'm not a fan of how the internet and stan culture handles mental health in that 'protect your peace' and 'put up boundaries' only work if you're being kind and intentional in it, instead internet mental health seems to adopt a 'no blame' culture where it's somehow okay if you're a cunt because you have anxiety. This seems to be Lando's current PR angle and as someone who's struggled with mental health it makes me rage. It removes the intentionality and agency of those struggling with mental health, certain situations make me anxious and therefore more snappish but if I snap at someone I damn well apologise.

Also, it chills me McLaren are always only desperate to push this angle when their driver or the team is in hot water, despite the fact I have it on pretty decent authority that the team culture is crap. Let's not get it twisted no F1 team is a good employer, but McLaren make it very sinister by pretending they're all about mental health–they did the exact same when Daniel Ricciardo was more open about the ED and loss of mentality he experienced in that team. I think if they truly cared about Lando's actions and mental health they would force him to work with a professional, but what do I know.

[dykedvonte]

In the article, when Kasurinen mentions that irl people like Curly can and do cover up perpetrators- do you think that implies Curly would have kept Anya’s SA under wraps?

Curly is such a conflicting character AHHHHH. He’s my favorite but makes me very uncomfortable sometimes. He’s ignorant and mitigated at a very wrong time, but I hoped he at least had the decency to let the story slip out post-delivery. Jimmy doesn’t wanna face responsibility but does Curly not want him to either?

I think what people are missing about that line is the intentions part. What is specifically said is “good intentioned downplaying” and the belief he was taking the right steps. It’s phrasing is important: the discussion of escalation and the idea that it’s not intentionally malicious are idea you have to keep in mind when taking to the problems at play with Curly’s choices.

I do not think he was gonna cover up the assault but his actions during the events of the pre-crash sections were likely fueled by ignorance, disbelief and his own issues. His inability to outwardly address it lead to it being downplayed and covered to an extent but it’s not something he didn’t want to deal with more accurately he didn’t know how to approach and when he tried to came at it from the completely wrong angles.

When people see these they conflate them with him being willfully ignorant, refusing to believe Anya and self absorbed. It’s such a one note bad faith interpretation imo that it doesn’t acknowledge that in a lot of cases people genuinely think they are doing good in the mean time. Good intentions don’t mean he did good, or didn’t cause harm but the point is that he never intended to to Anya. The sad fact is he was trying to find a happy ending for both parties because he still thought he could. He thought he was doing something where everyone would win and in the end it was a total loss.

I say it again about Curly but so many people take the dead pixel conversation as a refusal to look closer when it’s more like a comment to on rose tinted glasses and Curly personally. Him moving on is not his saying “it doesn’t matter” but saying he still wants to try and apprixate the parts that aren’t bad. It’s a misguided and unintentionally dismissive comfort toward Anya. You can see she realizes that he doesn’t really understand but it’s not from a lack or trying. It’s a lack of being ready. Doesn’t excuse when she becomes more direct with him but it helps us with his insights.

The issue with Curly and Jimmy and responsibility is that Curly takes too much responsibility and blame for many things that aren’t his responsibility and/or fault. I think tow reflective scenes are right before the crash and in the cockpit when he blames himself for Anya not getting a psych evaluation and letting Jimmy blame him for his actions. It is not his responsibility to provide that eval to Anya, that is the companies negligence to allow one of their employees to go with out one. You can argue he could’ve fought for it, but you can also argue that P.E held that standard in the first place and you can’t patch cracks you don’t see. With Jimmy, none of what he did is Curly’s fault outside not punishing him for the act after. Even then punishment is vague but he should’ve taken more precautions. He did not force Jimmy to crash the ship, to rape Anya, to lash out and misconstrue his words. His responsibility is the crew not their individual actions and that’s a very hard point to discuss.

When Daisuke gets caught in the foam he is upset because that action got him hurt or could’ve damaged something vital to them. He is not responsible for the action but he is in ensuring Daisuke, under Swansea, doesn’t cause anymore damage to himself or the ship. That’s what I’m trying to get at despite the difficulty. Jimmy’s speech is gaslighting, conditioning to make Curly believe it’s all his fault: The firing, the assault, the tragedy of it all when those all link back to things that were over his head or actions/choices of others.

There’s a lot of debates on what Curly as the individual was at fault for, should be blamed for and what where outside factors. I personally think in the end he wanted Jimmy to take responsibility but he himself can’t tell what’s his responsibility to take vs Jimmy’s. A key point of this is when Curly is about to run in and starting saying what he should’ve done, or could’ve before screaming at Jimmy and asking what did he do. He realizes all too late what is his responsibility and what isn’t in terms of their dynamics and the blame/guilt he takes on for Jimmy but as I said again it’s too late.

If he was gonna cover up the assault than Jimmy would’ve never felt the need to do something so drastic. He would’ve known Curly would’ve helped and I think his uncertainty of that was a driving force but also to give us that uncertainty in terms of what Curly would’ve actually done.

He makes us all uncomfortable and conflicted because we all want to say we’d do better, we’d know better but in the end we could all make the same mistakes thinking that our good intentions were enough. He’s fun to roll around in your head and this specific topic gets a lot of unsettling things rolling.

[cosmicjoke]

How Levi's and Zeke's Role as one another's Foil is demonstrated through the Parallels and Contrasts of their Relationships with Kenny and Grisha:

As we know, Levi and Zeke are positioned in AoT as foils for one another, which I’ve spoken about extensively in numerous posts, going over all the ways in which they’re obviously, intentionally contrasted against each other.  But I was thinking today, another way in which Levi and Zeke are contrasted, is that while Zeke became bitter and angry at his circumstances growing up, and in response decided he wanted to lash out and make his father pay for ruining his life by destroying the very thing Grisha fought for, i.e. wiping out the Eldian race where Grisha wanted to restore the Eldian Empire, and in turn, without any real awareness I think, convincing himself he was saving people from suffering while in fact inflicting it and even reveling in it, Levi went in literally the opposite direction.  Instead of wanting to make others suffer for the suffering he’d endured, instead of wanting to make Kenny pay for ruining his life, he sought to save people from those same experiences and prevent them from having to live through what he did, showing exceptional empathy and compassion toward others.  And for anyone who thinks Kenny wasn't abusive toward Levi, or otherwise want to deny in any way the immense harm he caused Levi, I'll direct you to these posts I've written about just how genuinely abusive and awful Kenny was and the psychological and physical harm and danger he subjected Levi to:

https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/714444060984737792/the-psychological-and-emotional-impact-of-levis?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/714626354972360704/part-2-of-the-psychological-and-emotional-impact?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/714804308475052032/thinking-more-about-the-ways-in-which-kenny-failed?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/714990189976698880/more-thoughts-on-levi-and-kenny?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/750230226046468096/love-seeing-people-trying-to-downplay-the-damage?source=share

It really speaks to the contrast in their characters, that they both responded to similar situations in starkly different ways, both fundamentally and philosophically.

Unlike Zeke, whose every move was essentially made in service of getting revenge on Grisha, Levi never ended up wallowing in Kenny’s abandonment of him or being driven by a desire for revenge, but was instead driven by compassion and a sense of obligation to use his strength for something positive.  Again, I think that fact demonstrates the absurdity of people claiming Levi is some revenge-driven person.  He’s literally the opposite.  It’s why there’s this cognitive dissonance in these people not being able to comprehend why Levi doesn’t want to kill or hurt Annie, for example.  Their understanding of Levi is fundamentally flawed, and because of that, they think it’s out of character or bad writing on Isayama’s part, that Levi shows no interest in paying Annie back for what she did to his squad.  If they could just understand that Levi isn’t and never has been a vengeful person, they would realize that his attitude toward Annie makes perfect sense.  Levi was never egotistical enough or self-interested enough to be into revenge. 

Ironically, really, for all that so many people labor under this misconception that Levi is a vengeful person, it's actually Zeke who was always revenge obsessed. Yes, Grisha was an awful father, but he wasn't, in fact, a bad person. He was just incredibly misguided and dealing with his own, horrific trauma, rooted in deep guilt over what happened to his sister. I think this is important to acknowledge in order to better understand, again, the contrast between Levi and Zeke and how they act as foils for one another, narratively and thematically speaking.

What Grisha experienced as a child was truly horrific, and it led to him being blinded by his desire to right the defining experience of wrong from his childhood, so much so that he wasn't able to see until it was too late the damage he was causing Zeke. But he never set out to really hurt anyone. That doesn't mean he didn't, and this isn't meant to serve as an excuse for Grisha's abuse of Zeke. He very much was abusive and should absolutely be held accountable for that. But much like Zeke himself, Grisha lacked the introspection to realize the harm he was causing, and unlike Zeke, and in turn, unlike Kenny, he never actually deliberately hurt or enjoyed hurting anyone.

In contrast, Kenny very much was a bad person, someone who made a literal career out of murdering people and who very obviously reveled in and enjoyed violence. Someone who one might even say worshiped the idea of violence, and who through that attitude routinely exposed Levi to this idea of killing for pleasure or simply the idea of "might is right". And unlike Grisha, Kenny was never blind to his actions, either. Kenny always knew exactly what he was doing. He knew he was a bad guy and knew the things he was exposing Levi to and what he was trying to make Levi into were bad. We know this because Kenny had a secret desire to be good. Of course, his idea of how to become good was completely warped. He believed that in order to be able to be a good person, one needs to be strong, that one needs ultimate power, and we see Kenny's own, rotten nature play out in his willingness to cut anyone down in pursuit of that desire, undermining with each murder his own pursuit. We see the deep and ironic contradiction there, between Kenny's actions and what it is he's trying to obtain. But again, Kenny never labored under any delusion that what he was and what he was exposing Levi to were somehow good or noble pursuits. He didn't think he was setting Levi on some holy crusade for the greater good, the way Grisha believed he was doing with Zeke. He just viewed Levi as a project, a means of testing his theory of "might is right", experimenting as a means of proving his belief that only the strong deserve to live, immersing Levi purposefully into a life of horrific violence and brutality and seeing if he was "strong enough" to make it.

I lay all this out to demonstrate how, even though Levi had every cause to despise Kenny and desire vengeance against him, knowing full well what a terrible person Kenny was, knowing even that Kenny was fully aware of the harm he was causing Levi himself, he never became consumed by or even interested in such a pursuit. Kenny abandoned him and Levi carried on with his life. Zeke, in contrast, assumed Grisha was a terrible person based solely off the fact that he was neglectful toward Zeke and put too much pressure on him to fulfill a certain role, and off of that assumption, made it his life's mission to destroy his father's dream. I think this really demonstrates perfectly a fundamental difference between Levi's and Zeke's natures as people.

Going back to how Levi and Zeke serve as foils for one another, Zeke is a largely negative character, whose motives are rooted in negative feelings, i.e., this belief that life is meaningless and nothing but suffering, bitter anger and resentment at his father for not giving him enough love, unappreciative as a result of the love he does receive, such as from his grandparents and Mr. Ksavar, and a level of self-absorption that renders him incapable of perceiving or considering the thoughts and feelings of others.  That’s contrasted against Levi, who is a largely positive character, whose motives are rooted in positive feelings, i.e., this belief that life is precious and, while being painfully aware of its cruelty, still believing it to be worthwhile and being driven by an intense desire to save lives, a tragic gratitude for the single, good memory he has of his mother’s love and elegance, and a level of selflessness and empathy that renders him more compassionate, kind, aware and considerate of the thoughts and feelings of others than any other character in the series. 

And again, I think we see that deliberate contrast between Levi and Zeke in their opposing attitudes toward their abusers.  We see how much Zeke hates Grisha, how his hatred for Grisha really consumes him and drives him toward becoming very much like him, so bitter and hateful and consumed by revenge that he neglects others and their desires completely, essentially continuing the cycle of abuse, and how that differs from Levi and his attitude toward Kenny, how Levi became in every way that counts the opposite of Kenny, someone who values all life equally, regardless of whether a person is strong or not, someone who believes the worth of a person’s life isn’t determined by their strength or usefulness, someone who prioritizes allowing others their agency and right to choose for themselves. 

Both Levi and Zeke sought approval from Kenny and Grisha respectively, but while Zeke made it his life’s mission, basically, to stick it to his father for never giving him the love he sought, Levi never developed any such hatred for Kenny. Yes, he clearly was deeply hurt and was angry at Kenny for abandoning him, and clearly he thought of Kenny as a selfish and bad person, as is demonstrated at his shock when Kenny gives up the serum. We know from this that Kenny was never generous with Levi at all. But Levi never hated him.  We see that in his final interaction with him.  He blamed himself for Kenny’s abandonment of him and thought it must be something lacking in himself that caused it, whereas Zeke completely  blamed Grisha for his neglect  and feelings of misery, and grew to so despise him that, again, he essentially used his hatred of him as an excuse to inflict more suffering upon others.

I think the way Isayama frames Levi and Zeke as foils for each other is really brilliant.  There’s so many examples, none more so than the way they’re contrasted during the raid in Liberio.  I wrote a post about that here, specifically, if anyone is interested in reading it: https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/691063405819379712/further-observation-of-the-core-contrast-between?source=share

[masochist-marmot]

Just finished watching MHA season 7

I am not okay. I am in shambles. A shallow husk of a human being. I have exhausted all my emotions and have nothing left to give. I'm sitting right there in the middle of charred earth and ash with tears frozen on my face. I might need a hero to sacrifice themselves to stitch my destroyed heart back together.

The level of character writing in this series is amazing. I stand by my (probably controversial) take that there are some issues with pacing and setup/payoff, though I haven't read the manga so I can't tell how much of that is an issue with the adaptation. But what the show does excel at is portraying a large cast of characters with deep and diverse motivations, and it somehow manages to build on them in a deliberate, believable manner. (Let me piss off another fandom real quick: JJK could never.)

I was spoiled on the Dabi reveal before I started watching the show. In fact, that spoiler got me interested in watching it in the first place. I picked up on the tiny hints that were sprinkled in from very early on and was interested to see how they pull the reveal off. I was a little disappointed with how one-note Dabi was for the entire time up until that point, and the reveal itself was far less effective without the intended shock value. I almost wrote it off as missed potential. However, the seeds that were sown were not in Dabi himself, but the Todoroki family dynamic. Once we get to the flashbacks and eventually the grand emotional showdown, we have already gone through a character arc with Shouto, Endeavor and the rest of the family, and we have seen how All For One grooms vulnerable youth to his cause. In the present, Dabi is only fueled by hatred and revenge. In the past, we see a sad little boy who is raised to believe that his value comes from the strength of his quirk, and who is then told he can't use it (thus stripping him of his value). He's practically abandoned as a failed project, and Endeavor's misguided attempts at discouraging him by distancing himself instead of showing him he's got value beyond his strength and usefulness drives poor Touya even further along his doomed path. And this is incredibly fertile soil for All For One's grooming. It's heartbreaking. The reason Dabi is so one-note is that there's nothing else left in him. He's too far gone to be saved. We can bring the entire Todoroki family together to finally see his cries for help and acknowledgment, but it's simply too late. Sometimes it's just not possible to bring the "black sheep" of the family back from the edge of self-destruction. God, it's too real, and devastating, and narratively satisfying.

And then we have our misguided pansexual queen Himiko Toga. I was pretty neutral on Toga for most of the series, because the yandere archetype never really appeals to me. Turns out there's a lot more to her than that. For her entire childhood, she was ostracised and derided for being different and gross. I see an interesting mix of autism-coding/queercoding in how her innate ways to approach love and affection are seen as wrong and abnormal, and how she fails to conform to social norms because nobody's explaining them to her. I do like how neither allegory is one-to-one, and how it's internally consistent with how the world and Toga as a character work. Her childhood environment stunts her emotional development and leaves her with a black-and-white thinking, where you are either good or evil, cute or gross, completely accepted or completely rejected... a hero or a villain (boy, the society desperately needs reconstruction). It leaves her desperate for deep connections, and the deepest connection she can get is from becoming the target of her affection with her quirk. It's a selfish kind of affection that literally weakens the other party. At the same time, she's sabotaging her relationships by intentionally showing her ugly side and looking for signs of rejection to enforce her expectation of not being accepted for who she is. As someone who's struggled with (and, through therapy, learned to manage) traits of borderline personality disorder, I can relate to her chaotic approach to interpersonal relationships and powerful but volatile emotions. When both Deku and Uraraka very reasonably condemn her actions as a villain, she takes that as a total and complete rejection of her as a person. This is an especially heavy blow to her after the loss of Twice has brought her entire worldview into question. Then, when Uraraka reflects on this more and tries to reach out to her again, she's in full defence mode. She can't risk being rejected again, so she lashes out to keep Uraraka at an arm's length. Yet despite all the maliciousness, despite being stabbed, Uraraka fights to get through to Toga and show her that she sees the beauty in her and is willing to accept her in spite of her flaws. And then, after being properly seen and accepted by someone she loves, she's able to commit a purely selfless act of affection by giving away her own blood to keep Uraraka alive. Blood is her love language, and for once she's able to give instead of taking. It's hauntingly beautiful, and it's heartbreaking, and it closes her character arc wonderfully. (Mind you, I think their relationship would have been toxic and codependent, but I don't care. I'll be a Togachako truther from this moment until the day I die.)

This season alone had a lot of effective (and also some less effective) character moments that I won't touch on because this post is already too long and rambling. I especially have a lot more thoughts about best boi Kacchan, but I'll leave that for another day.

[sepublic]

I find it a missed opportunity that Cole didn't play a role in Seabound with helping Nya unlock her Spinjitzu Burst; If you ignore The Island, which is basically part of the larger Seabound arc anyhow, Master of the Mountain comes right before and is all about Cole learning the Spinjitzu Burst. Given its requirements are to be surrounded by one's element, it's general fanon consensus that this was what Nya did when she unlocked the power of the sea.

Not only does this connect back to a previous season and make the show feel more intertwined, it also gives Cole something to do, builds off of his previous characterization, but also creates the opportunity for emotional conflict. He might be reluctant to teach Nya the Spinjitzu Burst upon hearing what happened to Nyad, or she may intentionally keep this a secret from him. When Nya does perform her big sacrifice, we could have Crystalized begin with Cole feeling guilt because he taught Nya the Spinjitzu Burst; Without it, she wouldn't have merged with the sea.

You could call back to Master of the Mountain again by having Cole ultimately make peace with what he did, by remembering his promise to Lilly, and recognizing that she would've done the same in Nya's place; He would've done the same in her place. In the end, all three chose to stand up to those who were cruel and unjust, to protect those who could not protect themselves.

...That also gets me to another point; The beginning of Crystalized is so similar to the beginning of Tournament of Elements; Both arcs follow the emotional aftermath of the ninja splitting up after a member of their team performs a great sacrifice to defeat the villain and save the day, and eventually have to get together when they're given hope that their dead teammate isn't so dead after all.

I really wish Crystalized hearkened back to that period where the ninja mourned Zane, because it would've been both a sensible callback, and a way to differentiate this arc from that one, by building off of the one which came before. Maybe the ninja ARE still sticking together, with Zane being different in that he's never had to mourn a teammate before; He was the sacrificial teammate the first time. That could lead to him turning off his emotions.

But while on the surface, the ninja seem to be handling it better than with Zane, since they learned their lesson, they may still express their grief in other ways. Such as with Kai becoming more ruthless, which canon already teased at; Maybe this could tie into Lloyd's Oni arc. Like with Zane's sacrifice beforehand, Lloyd urges the team to stick together and this time they do. But like Kai, his frustration with himself for not being good enough, thus necessitating Nya's sacrifice, could lead to Lloyd being more ruthless as a ninja, which could transition into his struggle with the Oni half of him, Harumi's return, the revelation that the Overlord is his grandfather's misguided attempt to purge his Oni half, etc.

That last bit especially, which was left out of the final product, seems to be building up to a lesson about Lloyd not repeating the FSM's mistakes by accepting his Oni half, and he already knew Mystake, Garmadon was finding good in himself, plus the implications of an Oni getting together with a Dragon to create his bloodline... But nothing comes of that. Imagine if Lloyd didn't succumb to his Oni form, but instead accepted it, and by extension accepted the Overlord, absorbing him into his body and making peace with the darkness the way his grandfather didn't.

That could be more interesting than Oni Lloyd actually being evil after all, which is basically the same moral takeaway as canon, just explored differently. It also hearkens back to Star Wars, which Tommy Andreasen takes big inspiration from when writing Ninjago, and the climax of Hunted, if Lloyd chooses not to fight the Overlord, and wins because of it; Rather than fighting Fire with Fire.

[trashogram]

What are your thoughts on Charlie? Some friends find her to be their fav character, but I kinda think she's a little manipulative in a way 🫤 they say I'm Lucifer biased, but even I know he isn't perfect sooo

I think you’re right when you say she’s manipulative in a way — I think it’s in the way that a child can be manipulative to get what they want, rather than someone that does it intentionally while understanding the full ramifications of how they’re affecting others. Charlie wants to redeem Sinners, but her way of doing it is immature and degrading. She doesn’t treat her tenants or coworkers like grown adult people and expects them to cater to her whims, just not in an aggressive way.

She has good intentions but she’s spoiled and that overshadows everything. Whether or not she’ll develop past this as the series goes on? I can’t say.

I think Charlie is a missed opportunity. My assumption is that the creators chose to exaggerate her original optimistic personality because they thought it would make her a funnier character. I don’t think it did, but maybe the majority of HH’s audience does so it’s a moot point.

Charlie (like a lot of Hazbin characters, shockingly) was much better in the pilot. She was sincere but not overly childish, enthusiastic but not obnoxiously so and, although reluctant to use it at times, she had a backbone and didn’t take shit from others without putting up a fight. And when she fought, the audience had no expectation that there would be someone (like Lucifer) to catch her if she failed.

It doesn’t feel like Charlie has much to lose in the show nor does she have anything to prove, so she’s not compelling either. Yes, she is still trying to *prove* redemption is possible for Sinners in Hell, but the original premise emphasized that she was trying to demonstrate this for the sake of those in Hell rather than Heaven. I got the impression that she was trying to help damned souls for their sakes, because she cared about them as she saw them as her responsibility. And the only potentially selfish ambition on her end was to show her disbelieving parents that it could be done and that they were wrong about her ideas.

The show makes Heaven out to be ignorant and misguided at best and totally corrupt at worst. Charlie also doesn’t have a big connection to it beyond her surface-level goal (and Vaggie being an ex-exterminator but that felt like an afterthought in the show so I don’t see the point in humoring it here). I don’t know why the audience is supposed to care all that much about Charlie proving herself to them.

I see it like this: Why would I care about what terrible people think of me? They’re terrible, so why would I respect their opinions when I don’t agree with their actions, words, behaviors, beliefs, etc.?

[sepia-mahogany]

Please stop intentionally mistagging content.

“Canon Jiang Cheng” tag is for discussion of things he did in the novel, explicitly, that means if you want to talk about how brave he was for saving Wei Wuxian from the guards or about how terrible it was that he made things worse for WWX and WRs. Positive or negative interpretations from the novel source are welcome here. The main “Jiang Cheng” tag is for everything, headcanons, fanart, cql donghua every other adaptation canon than just the novel, gif sets, video edits, fanon content, canon content whatever you wish to do.

It is honestly disappointing that after requests from other Jiang Cheng fans (and also to avoid the mess that was people getting hate over posting the direct novel quotes) we made a separate tag so everyone could curate their content and consume what they wished, only for some people to intentionally mistag content (fanships for example, or cql gifs) as a misguided attempt to “reclaim the tag”.

What exactly are you accomplishing by intentionally mistagging content? All you’re doing is making curating content harder, so please stop intentionally mistagging content when you can just block the tag you wish to not interact with but making it so people don’t have a safe fandom space is beyond being rude.

[dutchdread]

"things won’t go well between Tifa and Cloud, even without Sephiroth", the most misrepresented quote in the LTD.

If you've spend any time looking into the LTD you'll probably have heard the claim that Nojima said that Cloud and Tifa were incompatible and that their problems have nothing to do with Sephiroth. This belief comes from a misunderstanding of the following quote.

“‘Episode Tifa’ … first off, there’s the premise that things won’t go well between Tifa and Cloud, and that even without Geostigma or Sephiroth this might be the same. I don’t really intend to go on about my views on love or marriage or family (laughs). After ACC, I guess Denzel and Marlene could help them work it out. Maybe things would have gone well with Aerith, but I think there is a great burden from Aerith."

~ Nojima

The meaning they're trying to take from the quote is that when Nojima says "without Sephiroth or Geostigma", that this refers to a scenario where Sephiroth had never existed. The implication being that the issues Tifa and Cloud are going through are internal, not external, and potentially even inherent to their natures. But what the actual "internal" problems they're facing are is never brought up, which is weird since this is rather important. What they want you to think is that the internal problems are either somehow inherent to them as a couple, aka, they're just not a good fit. Or else that the internal problem is "Cloud is in love with Aerith".

But the problem is that they don't provide evidence of any of this, and worse yet, we KNOW what the actual issues are. This quote isn't a mystery, we KNOW exactly what Nojima is referring to. This quote isn't a refutation to the Cloti telling of the story, like all pieces of evidence it supports Cloti perfectly but is simply unintentionally misunderstood or intentionally misrepresented. Before we go into the problems themselves though it's important to take a minute to notice something. Namely that inherent in the argument that "things aren't working out for Tifa and Cloud", is the idea that their relationship is one where 'working things out' is applicable as a concept. Much like getting a divorce is proof of marriage, using the fact that Cloud and Tifas relationship is going through a rough patch as evidence that they're not in a romantic relationship is....misguided. The next part of the quote makes this even more concrete: "I don’t really intend to go on about my views on love or marriage or family". So whenever people bring up Tifa and Clouds relationship troubles as evidence against Tifa and Cloud, please thank them for conceding that they're in a relationship.

So based on that, lets clearly lay out what is being asserted here in its most general form. The claim essentially has two parts. 1: "Cloud and Tifa are in a relationship, but it is troubled"

2: "The reason for these troubles is related to Aerith being the real love interest of the story"

Note that if they can't prove point 2, then this quote hard cements Cloti. The argument stands or falls on Clotis inability to address point 2.

So let's address it.

First lets address the "without Sephiroth or Geostigma" part. The interpretation that this is meant to be read as "if sephiroth was never born" is patently absurd. This is an interview about a very specific point in time in Cloud and Tifas life, which specifically points at a thing that happens in THAT point in time, namely Geostigma. He doesn't say something generic like "if Cloud and Tifa had never ran into hardships in their life they'd still be incompatible", no, he points at two specific things, Sephiroth and Geostigma. Geostigma we know is only a problem during the time of advent children, it's not a disease going back right through to Clouds childhood. Sephiroth is but he's also very specifically attacking Cloud DURING advent children, he returns DURING advent children. Clearly this quote is addressing the current events of Sephiroth and geostigma, aka, the movie, not the more generic impact that Sephiroth has had on Cloud and Tifas life since childhood. If that was meant to be the case he'd have said "sephiroth, jenova, and Shinra" or something else more chronically substantial. And what are the troubles they're going through? Well, luckily we don't have to guess, since that's been reiterated again and again and again and again. It's mentioned in games, it's mentioned in books, and it's mentioned in interviews.

"As long as Cloud blames himself for Aerith’s death, he won’t be able to move on with his life. One of the first ideas we had for Advent Children was to have Cloud overcome and resolve that immense feeling of guilt. For Cloud, no one other than Aerith can solve that problem for him." ~ pg. 58 of Reunion files.

Failing to protect people important to him is his sin… Convincing himself of this, Cloud shuts himself off. What does his meeting with Aerith bring him? ~ Cloud Strife profile 10th AU

Two years after returning to the planet, Aerith still lives on in the hearts of her friends who saved the planet. And in particular to Cloud, as a symbol of his failure to having being unable protect those dear to him, ~ Aerith Gainsborough 10th AU profile.

Cloud feels an incredible sense of guilt for not being able to save her, but sometimes he can still hear her voice in a soft whisper. ~ (Reunion Files, Aerith’s profile)

Zack&Aerith For Cloud, they were people whom he can never forget. The two irreplaceable people, Zack, “who was sent to death because of him”, and Aerith, “who met a tragic fate as he couldn’t protect her” became “the unforgivable sin” in his heart. ~ ACC POST CARD BOOK.

“I’m going to live. I think that’s the only way I can be forgiven. All sorts of things… happened.” ~ Cloud in case of Tifa

"Cloud is scared that the peace he has now might shatter, so he is living on his own." ~ Nomura

Deep down, Cloud knew that he shouldn’t be so hard on himself, but at the same time he couldn’t let go of those feelings of guilt for what happened to Aerith and Zack, or the thought that he could never forgive himself for it. But then his companions made him feel better by telling him to let go. - Takahiro Sakurai (Cloud’s voice actor) pg. 15 reunion files.

"She knew that Cloud was in great pain because he couldn’t protect Aerith. Cloud was trying to overcome that and live on" ~ Case of Tifa.

The happier he is now, The more Cloud is tormented by painful “memories” of the past. ~ Cloud’s 10th AU profile.

The more he realizes how happy he is living with Tifa and the children, the more the fear of losing that and regrets toward the past trouble Cloud… ~ Cloud’s 10th AU profile

"when Cloud contracts Geostigma he disappears. Behind these actions lies feelings of guilt towards his past failure to protect people who were important to him, but through his battle with Kadaj’s gang, the legacy of Jenova, he regains the courage to face reality." ~ FF7 10th Anniversary Ultimania Cloud Strife Profile

"Cloud continued to regret the deaths of his best friend and comrade, who were dear to him, in FFVII. In AC, he says “I want to be forgiven.” ~ Dissidia Cloud’s profile

"Cloud’s heart continued to be tormented by a deep sense of regret and blame towards himself." ~ Cloud’s Dengeki profile

Aerith still lives on in the hearts of her friends who saved the planet. And in particular to Cloud, as a symbol of his failure to having being unable protect those dear to him, she was a major factor in causing him to close himself off." ~ Aerith’s 10th anniversary profile.

“I want to be forgiven. Mm. More than anything.”-Cloud “By who?” ~ Aerith

“Isn’t it time you did the forgiving?” ~ Aerith to Cloud.

“But… I let you die…” ~ Cloud to Aerith

“I never blamed you. Not once, you came for me, that’s all that matter.” ~ Aerith to Cloud

“Are sins ever forgiven…?” ~ Cloud to Vincent

“I’m not fit to help anyone. Not my family. Not my friends. Nobody.” ~ Cloud to Tifa in ACC

You're too weak to save anyone, not even yourself ~ Sephiroth to Cloud in remake

"You've failed again I see" ~ Sephiroth to Cloud in remake

"It's just like, when I failed you" ~ Cloud in remake

Man, they sure love to go on and on about Cloud feeling guilty and wanting to be forgiven, about failing and feeling like he's not strong enough, that he can't protect anyone and that he'll fail again in the future....it's ALMOST as if Cloud has other things on his mind that don't have anything to do with his compatibility with Tifa and/or Aerith, it's ALMOST as if these things are central to his character arc. You could even say that these are troubles that have been with him for all his life and have been exasperated by the death of Zack and Aerith and his resulting fake persona. One could even say, that perhaps, just perhaps, CLOUD WOULD STILL HAVE STUFF TO DEAL WITH EVEN IF GEOSTIGMA AND SEPHIROTH HADN'T SHOWN UP IN ADVENT CHILDREN AND THIS IS NOT A GOD DAMN TEENAGE LOVE DRAMA! For the love of all that is holy, if you've ever used this quote to discredit Tifa and Cloud, STOP. Stop making this sorry excuse of a "point", stop linking this quote and thinking it supports Clerith, it doesn't, this is insanity, you are demented. So based on everything I've said, here Is Nojimas quote again, paraphrased by me to steelman its meaning. "Cloud is going through an internal arc, his problems are not just finding a cure for his disease and stopping the remnants and Sephiroth, his real fight is internal, he has to forgive himself".

The quote has nothing to do with Nojima trying to disprove Cloti, and only the most fanatically misguided shippers would ever think otherwise. Shippers are often accused of making everything about romance and when it comes to Cleriths they are right. The idea that Nojima here is just looking at FFVII as a romance story, rather than him addressing the specific events that happen in ACC and OTWAS is childish to the extreme. Cleriths thinking that this quote does them favors only serves as more proof that they simply don't know what they're talking about, this is a childs interpretation of storytelling and anyone agreeing with it should feel a deep sense of shame concerning their own lack of comprehensive reading skills.

[athenawasamerf]

Is it Islamophobic to question why Muslim women in Western countries advocate so hard to wear burqas and niqabs? Or to generally critique gender and religion and using Islam as an (unfairly) intense example? Especially from non-Muslim women?

Religion is important to people and sure women should wear what they want, but I’m not sure if others deserve such harsh criticism in asking why or saying that it’s not a good thing but a fetishized modest ownership tradition. It’s not fair to the women who want to practice their faith wearing it, but a good part of liberal western society acts like calling out traditional conservative behaviors from a majority probably ‘non-white’ religion is bad.

Obviously women pulling off their veils or hijabs should be their choice, and that simple acts like that shouldn’t be simplified as ‘liberation’ (a very western narrative), but is it also wrong to see it that way? Religious women are deeply entrenched in conservative narrative which I can understand; it just makes me sad.

I wish you well, sorry to bother you and if you prefer not to answer that is valid!

I don’t really believe in the concept of Islamophobia to start with. Being wary or critical of any religion isn’t a bigoted stance, and all religions need to be criticised for human rights and women’s rights issues. That doesn’t mean that Muslims aren’t oppressed in regions where they’re the minority, but I believe that has a lot more to do with racism than religious persecution.

Is Islamophobia a useful term to discuss Arab/brown-specific experiences in the west? Maybe, but I find it a lot more harmful than helpful most of the time. It seems to be mainly used to stifle discussions and criticism, and foster a narrative of persecution to create an ‘us vs them’ mentality which is subsequently used to control Muslims and prevent them from seeking community with the ‘other’, and to scare them into remaining within their existing community and faith. It’s a lot like the Jehovah’s Witnesses tactic of sending their young out with intentionally annoying guides to ‘recruit’ people, knowing they’ll be met with hostility that only reinforces their safety and belief within the religious community.

That said, critical analysis of why women hold on to, and even advocate for, religious or cultural practices that contribute to their subjugation - even when they live in countries where they can theoretically be free of these expectations - is not only not Islamophobic/racist, but necessary. I could go into that topic in depth on a separate post if anyone is interested in hearing my thoughts.

Critiquing religion, as I mentioned, is a cornerstone of feminist analysis and can not be ignored to preserve people’s feelings. However, most people who are the racial or religious majority in their communities will hold conscious and unconscious biases towards racial and religious minorities, and don’t usually bother to learn about the religion or culture they’re critiquing. These critiques tend to be based on stereotypes and fear mongering, and usually stem from a place of xenophobia rather than any true concern for women. The best way to remedy this is to take the time and effort to learn about the religion and culture in detail, and listen to women, feminist or not, from said culture or religion to properly understand their experiences and issues before you start making criticisms. Try to run your thoughts by someone from that culture or religion who shares your political ideology (in this case, Muslim or ex-Muslim radfems, especially from SWANA) to sound out any misguided ideas or unconscious biases. It’s a lot of work, so if you’re not up for it, maybe it’s best to stick to criticism of your own culture and/or religion.

When it coms to hijab/niqab/burqa/other modesty garments, you need to tread carefully with real women (as opposed to impersonal ideological critique). Modesty culture is deeply ingrained and many religious people are brainwashed into fear and abject horror at the mere notion of critical thought about their beliefs. Try not to get into heated arguments with religious women unless you’re trained in de-programming and cult tactics. On the other hand, if you’re talking to a liberal who supports dehumanising and oppressive religious/cultural practices on the basis of cultural relativism, you need to stress the dignity of women above any culture or religion. That said, gently questioning the beliefs behind something is never a bad move if you can keep the discussion civil; best case scenario you plant a seed of doubt that can lead to more critical examination, worst case scenario nothing happens and you move on with your days.

As for calling something as simple as shedding modesty items being called ‘liberation’, while I don’t think it’s offensive or a western concept (in fact, considering liberation a western concept is very… paternalistic? I can’t find the right word but it definitely rubs me the wrong way), it is a reductive way of looking at this. The shedding of modesty garments should be a protected human right regardless of faith or location, such that gaining the ability to do so is a tiny drop in the ocean of rights that need to be gained in order to achieve liberation. If we deem the simple right to dress as we please to be liberation, we lose sight of the much bigger battles ahead, and we give conservatives and religious extremists an opening to claim that liberal and feminist movements only strive to achieve sexual freedom and degeneracy for the benefit of men. We already see this happening in SWANA, where MRAs and religious extremists have taken up slogans like ‘they don’t want your freedom, but the freedom to get to you’ (aka the freedom to have sex with you).

Thank you for the thoughtful ask <3

[pillowspace]

Pspsps tell me about your OCS 👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️

OKAY, SO SO SO, UHHH. Where is it. I'm about to go on the biggest ramble, you have no idea

THIS IS LUCA. There's also Carmen, who is Luca's older sibling / caregiver. Carmen is bigender, any pronouns. I don't have an official design yet, but Carmen has straighter, choppier hair and is years older.

In Luca's first life, he was just miserable. At a young age, he regarded his older brother Carmen (these were not their names at the time) as someone he greatly admired. Carmen wasn't the best brother, turned irritable after the grief of losing parents Luca never even had the chance to meet, but they still had their moments of fun and play. That was short-lived though, as Carmen quickly moved out, leaving Luca behind with only a glance. So at this point, Luca has already understood that he is not somebody worth saying goodbye to. Throughout this all, Carmen had been the closest Luca had to a friend.

After their grandparents who Luca had been living with passed, he was sent to live with his older brother at the age of thirteen. Carmen was cold and distant, always avoiding Luca, but always protecting him in all the wrong ways due to a sense of obligation. Luca was constantly sheltered away from other people while still not getting any actual attention within that shelter. It resulted in the brothers arguing, which resulted in an unhealthy realization: Luca would be looked at and talked to if he was causing trouble. So he began constantly acting out, and Carmen, who couldn't even realize why Luca was doing it, got more frustrated because of it.

Eventually Carmen got a wife. Luca, still only a teenager, would insult the wife to Carmen in private. But Luca actually adored her, so the insults were more just about Carmen's tastes, meanwhile she taught Luca archery. Those were the only times Luca could even remotely be himself.

It all just resulted in a downward spiral of Luca's mind, until he heard of a romantic legend from a neighbour he snuck out with one night. It was said that whoever performed it could remain with a lover through every lifetime, forever meant to be theirs. Forever to belong, with the memory of every life to cherish. Luca found it dumb, saying that immortality sounded more like a curse than anything. How could one bare the horrors and loss of every single life for all of eternity?

But it stuck with him. Until finally, at the age of seventeen, he reached a breaking point. He was convinced Carmen hated him, and Luca wanted nothing more than to be seen by his brother. So he took that ritual and twisted it into something terrible. It sounded like a curse, and so he would make it one. Luca attacked his brother, and performed it on both of them. It differed, in that Luca would intentionally fracture his own soul during it, so that Carmen would be the only one to remember, while Luca would never have to. For every life, Luca would find Carmen. Luca saw this in itself as a punishment, firm in the belief that he himself only served to make his brother miserable. For himself though, it was simultaneously a punishment on himself and a means to stay with his brother forever in his confused desperation. And for every life, they would die at the exact same age they died in their first.

For the first life after that, Carmen was scared of Luca. For the first few lives, she was avoidant and tried to flee. But it was true, that Luca was to always end up with Carmen. Luca was often only just a confused child who actually knew how to smile and laugh though, so he was always unsure why Carmen looked at him so strangely. It was as if these new lives of Luca were an entirely different person.

This progressed across lives until Carmen began to understand her brother. Avoidance turned to guilt, and guilt turned to horror for how misguided she had been in being both Luca's brother and caregiver. She had thought it enough to give him a home. She had thought it enough to shield him (though the joy she saw in Luca when he played with the other kids now filled her with doubt). And it was in the face of Luca so unfamiliarly happy that clicked in place how miserable he had actually been. Somehow, Luca's fighting had become no more than background noise. It had all just been background noise to Carmen, and he hated that he had allowed that to happen. What Luca did to him will always haunt Carmen, as he experiences loss after loss through every life. But that could co-exist with him still wanting to make up for his own wrongs.

So through every life, Carmen gives his brother the happiest life he can while trying to restore Luca's soul, so the curse can be broken on both of them. And after every death, Carmen sees the fractured soul of Luca's first life within the dark waiting room void between lives, and silently sits by it quietly muttering apology after apology, for he has grown to love Luca more than anything over their shared lives.

This is all a backstory though. There is a main story, and it's about a group of people who are all immortal through different means trying to find a way to lose their immortality. A reversal on people trying to find the secret to it. There are more OCs. Luca and Carmen (the actual names of this life, and Luca now has the design shown above ^) join in. Carmen does not tell Luca why they're there, but Luca has been... starting to wonder.

This is their second to last life before Luca's soul is finally restored. Before their story ends, in the black void once more, Luca (with all of his memories) makes one final request that he tearfully grants his brother the ability to refuse: one more life. Just one more life where they can both be happy, and neither have to remember the curse at all, living a final life that may only end in old age. Carmen agrees. And they have one more life.

In their final life, they live a happy childhood together. Luca finally grows past the age of 17 to become an adult. He becomes a florist, and there is both love but a healthy distance between him and his brother. Independence. The other immortals they had travelled with come to buy flowers from Luca only once, no longer remembered by him. They are happy for him, and leave both him and Carmen to live out the happiest lives they never thought they'd get to have.

And that, is Luca and Carmen's story.

[gayloringinplainsight]

the reason i have a problem with gaylors is because gaylors have made it infinitely harder for her to come out. say she does come out as not straight. that doesn't make all of the theories true (she can be gay w/o having dated karly, or written wonderland about dianna, or intentionally put daises everywhere, etc). just because i think those things are true doesn't mean they are, and to some people her coming out would be her confirming all of the theories.

I think she's queer I really do, but the lover era could have been done by a very misguided straight person, who realized she liked women years after yk?

that's why i have a problem with gaylors, because we've made it a hostile environment to come out in

(this is in response to your pinned post by the way)

yeah sure GAYLORS have made it a hostile environment to come out. GAYLORS. Who do queer readings of her work. Who research deep-cut queer history and make connections to her tour visuals. GAYLORS. Who notice the queer flagging she does — flagging done to signal! flagging done so other queer people will notice it and recognize she's queer! — and validates it, celebrates it, and honors it.

yeah GAYLORS have made it a hostile environment to come out.

Not hetlors, oh no, no way, no how, definitely not.

Hetlors, who spew the most vitriolic homophobic disgusting garbage about queer people and about the possibility of her being queer. Who think being queer is bad and sexuality is a dirty word.

Hetlors, who think the worst possible thing she could do would be to come out. Who threaten to stop supporting her if she comes out.

Hetlors, who dox gaylors for the fun of it. Who write gaylors abusive, homophobic screeds. Who send gaylors death threats.

But oh it's GAYLORS MAKING IT A HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT FOR HER TO CO—ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?