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alyjojo · 1 year ago

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August 🎺 2023 PAC - Follow Your Dreams

✨🧡✨💛✨💙✨🩵✨🩷✨💜✨

Pile 1 - Orange 🍊

The Dream: Knight of Cups 🥂

The House: 5th

Signs: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius 🔥 Virgo & the entire generation of Pluto Scorpio (Millennials)

Oracles:

18 Start

You must start from where you are, examine your situation, and take a chance.

45 Collaboration

Creative people can be inspired by sharing and stimulating creativity in others.

Great Adventure

“Take a risk; venture forward.”

What can you do right now to prepare?

Two stories here, one is for those that either want a lover to come back, or want to find their true soulmate. The other is for the musicians or entertainment people that want to make it big.

And the advice is the same. RISK looking like a fool. Be obvious! Put yourself out there! 5 Pentacles shows you’ve faced rejection before, you’ve probably tried to follow this advice before, whether regarding this or something else. Rejection is just redirection, it’s not that you’re bad or wrong, that this isn’t your path or you can’t have what you want, it’s just that particular company / gig / person isn’t the one that it’s going to happen with, or the *what* needs readjustment. Same energy, different target! For those wanting to reunite with an ex, same target, different strategy / behavior. The signs could be a hint of who they are, or who you are. There is very heavy fire 🔥 and that’s what you’re needing to embody, if you don’t already possess it. Fire does not sit around and pine over things. They want it, they go get it 💯 And they make it look easy, because they tend to be more impulsive and *thinking about it* or planning can be an afterthought. Just do it.

Sagittarius being highlighted specifically can be the person, you, or the energy you need. They are a very laid back sign when it comes to details, demands, and expectations, but so much fun and always keeping a sense of humor about things. They’re not emotional, they just want to have a good time, and often impulsively just decide to do something they think would bring them a lot of joy. If it doesn’t work out, that’s okay shit happens. We still had fun, and aren’t going to linger in any disappointment. Onto the next thing tomorrow, the path is always open to head down a new lane, there is no “stuck”. Keeping an optimistic and positive attitude, seeing yourself as a winner regardless of circumstance, and eventually you’ll get there.

You need this attitude, because you’re so focused on the negative and what could go wrong, that you stop yourself before you even start! Fear is blocking an entrepreneurial spirit, the fire inside you to motivate and inspire your next big move! Kindly get out of your own way, hype yourself up like the bad bitch (m/f) you know you are, and go get what you want, despite any criticism or rejections from others, trust that you will intuitively know the difference between ✨constructive✨ and useless 🗑️ criticism. Opinions are like assholes 🧡

Charms:

Star of Fame 🌟 on Knight of Cups is something big, and romantic. For the love it could be going above and beyond, making it clear and obvious you’re interested, doing special things that really catch the attention of others. For music, love would be your area of focus, to get the attention you’re seeking. If you love things, be open about those things and you can find others that love them too! Speaking kindness and life into others, love songs, kind actions towards others will always be celebrated by all people. If you want romance, SAY so! Be that, in order to attract it back towards you.

Treble Clef 🎼 on Great Adventure is music, hobbies, concerts, whatever makes you feel excited and alive, do more of that. Take more risks with things you’ve maybe never done before but have thought about or would love to try. You’re the only one stopping you here.

Sagittarius ♐️ on Start is what I said about Sagittarius already, and could be very specific depending on you & your story. Think positive. Sure it might not work, but it could, or it could give you an even better idea that DOES. It’s a whole process, don’t fear failure before you start, just fear giving up or losing motivation, and keep things handy to perk you back up if and when you feel like you’re going to. This is a sign that does whatever tf they want, and unapologetically so, others will either meet you on your level or watch you walk towards what does 💯

Tree of Life 🌳 & Dead Tree 🍂 on Strength literally shows you killing your chances before they even have a chance to bloom or go full circle. The beginning and the end, and you may have already gone through a whole cycle of something you fear repeating, that’s why you hold back. But it only burdens you further because it keeps you in Hermit energy. Wands do not belong in Hermit energy for more than a short period, they have got to be social or they go bananas 🍌 If you’re looking for love, take amazing pictures and create a profile on some site. Tell your friends to set you up - with Collaboration. FLIRT, and be open to having a good time, even if they’re not “it” - Sag energy. Even if it’s getting someone back, if that’s the thing weighing on your heart and you picked this, then you’ve got a real shot, but you’ve got to show up, make moves, and impress. Be romantic, be sexy, be confident, show off. Be YOU, authentically, confidently. I don’t think this would come out, and you wouldn’t have picked it, if you were really doomed to failure. But you have to try, or keep trying! Listen to those around you too, the positive people, collaboration & 3 Cups can show well meaning and helpful friends around you that can help you get to where you want to go. They make you feel good. Only spend time with people that make you feel good!

Pile 2 - Gold 🏆

The Dream: Progress

The House: 3rd

Signs: Heavy Pisces, Gemini, Virgo & Sagittarius, Jupiter/placements in Aquarius

Oracles:

38 Limits

Know that limiting attitudes are often formed as protective reactions to past events.

18 Start

You must start from where you are, examine your situation, and take a chance.

61 Happy Accident

Fortunate accidents can act as guides to edit and be open to where you should go next.

36 Generosity

You can afford to be generous with the gift of your time and attention.

What can you do right now to prepare?

I don’t see a specific dream, you JUST want to know if there will be some progress where you are! For most of you it’s probably career related, and for others it can be friends, coworkers, contacts in your life that just do not help you out as much as you wish they would. Knight of Pentacles shows you as on your grind, every day, without fail. You may have already put quite a lot of time into a job or project, and this reading is saying more time is needed. Not “no” just “not right now”. For some it’s due to the current Jupiter transit in Taurus, which seems to be the star of your reading. The sign pulled was Jupiter Aquarius, you could have this, lucky people in your life could, or this is showing that your “luck” is squared right now in some way, and things are changing in the background that will inevitably work in your favor. But might not seem that way at first.

Once Jupiter moves into Gemini in a year (05/24/2024), it’s feeling like that’s when things can really start moving in the direction you want them to, at least for this pile. You want cooperation, and you want your ideas to be heard, to feel valued and appreciated for all the work and effort you put into something. I see a Tower ahead, if it hasn’t already happened, every card connected to this Tower is happy and fortunate for you. Again, you may not feel that way at first. There are a lot of worries and anxiety you’re carrying needlessly, much of this feels out of your control. It’s possible you will/need to decide to leave some things behind. Uncooperative people, fake “friends”, even ideas of yours that aren’t going to stay exactly as they are. You’re in a cycle of big change, and you feel like things aren’t moving, but they are.

It could be your career is in a cycle of big change, they may be cleaning house and getting rid of people you’ve been manifesting OUT of your life, and way. If you lose a job, I see you finding a better one. If you lose friends, I see you finding better ones, more aligned to your path. 3rd House can refer to siblings, neighbors, people around your neighborhood you see from time to time, casual connections, even people from early childhood or school days. This feels very positive and like the sort of people you should involve yourself in or around more often, they could be beneficial to you, or end up being great friends of yours. A “Happy Accident” will be the beginning of a beautiful new beginning for you, and in the meantime, know that you’re stuck temporarily with the Limits, that your continuous grinding loyalty is still required with Knight of Pentacles, and that it’s out of your control for now, but for your highest good - Wheel of Fortune. Watching Clouds ☁️ in the meantime, wear earbuds, work on your inner self, find people that make you feel good and have some great conversations that really stick with you - 3rd House, and tune out the negative people or those that get on your nerves. Yes, there will be progress.

Charms:

Guitar 🎸 on Watching Clouds is connecting with music or hobbies to pass any free time and make you feel connected to yourself. These can refer to relaxation techniques as well, music can be one, the card has a hammock, books, and a cup of tea. Yes you’re working hard, but you should also be enjoying yourself as much as possible. It’s not like you’re being cursed, it feels more like you’re being gifted with this transition period. Get inspired by feeling good and use that to really think & dream about what you’d like to see happen.

Clover 🍀 on Wheel of Fortune is a repeated message that the things that will be changing are for your highest good. I don’t see lottery wins, but by all means Happy Accident with this are probably all I would need 😆 Buy some tickets. If things make you worry or stress, have faith that everything is going to work out for the best. And relax. You’re on the lucky side of the changes that are coming.

Fractal Leaf 🍃 on Ace of Cups shows many different elements of growth to these changes that will turn out to be a new beginning for you. This can be a lover, a hobby, a new dream (or several), good connections with newer people coming into your life. It’s new and it’s positive, but there are several different shocking or changing factors that get this to happen in the first place. When you do things, put your heart into them, or do things that you feel a deeper connection to, talk to people that love the same things as you do.

Starfish ⭐️ on 9 Swords tells you to calm your fears, worries, sleepless nights, constant anxiety. You need healing and regeneration, this can be watching videos on your similar situation from others who have been through it, going to counseling, seeking advice from people close to you that understand you. It really feels like you’re looking for your tribe, along with some career success you’re hoping to have as well. The message is not to worry, and focus on healing the thoughts and triggers that cause you to worry in the first place.

Peace ☮️ on Happy Accident & Generosity is beautiful energy, taking things as they come and seeing the higher purpose to everything if you can. Being kind, loving, peaceful in your attitude & outlook, and generous to others is what will likely win a lot more people over to your side, especially those ruled by the 3rd House. Your local waitress, trash man, cashier, next door neighbor, siblings and possible in-laws or nieces & nephews. Anyone you communicate with. The more you give, the more you’ll get in the long term.

Pile 3 - Indigo 🌌

The Dream: Page of Wands

The House: 6th House

Signs:

Libra, Aquarius, Cancer, Venus in Cancer

Oracles:

4 Recycle

Learn from the past and apply it to creating your vision of the future.

24 Partnership

Once you have decided to walk your path in partnership, you must put the relationship first.

44 Transformation

Allow the energy of fear to be transformed by love, creativity, and compassion.

31 Communication

The clarity, interactivity, and timing of communications is critical.

What can you do right now to prepare?

You have some heavy family dynamics that you haven’t healed from, nor have they, and your dream according to this - is a message that you receive (not send). Yet I get the feeling that even if you received one, you wouldn’t be receptive to it. The signs here show up as signs that can have a hard time setting firm boundaries with loved ones, you have experienced feeling fully responsible for someone else and being taken advantage of. Or perhaps you’ve done this to someone else.

Some of these wounds could be healed, and some of them are too far gone. Recycle is you needing to determine what is what. If someone has abused you or been cruel to you, then you owe them nothing & same for anyone else. 6th House being the House of Service shows you feel like you have to “serve” those close to you, work for them, dote on them, no. Nor do they. Only if you want to, and if others abuse this kindness, it ends 💯 There is clearly some unfinished business here, that either you wish someone would come forward and discuss, or you want to send a long message with all of your feelings inside…and just don’t, or haven’t. You’re afraid of feeling guilty, or indebted to someone else, afraid of feeling used or manipulated, and your fears work overdrive when it comes to this situation. Especially if you are somehow at fault. Does everyone hate you? Do they think you don’t care? If you talked to them, could it change?

For the last question, I get a clear yes.

Only if you want to. For the relationships that are worth saving, Recycle, Transformation, and Communication all show 4444 together, which is stability, home, security, feeling safe. Positive and stable relationships. Partnership rounds it out, as something you know you should do, and also something you fear…being stuck or trapped to a situation you don’t want to be in due to “loyalty” or family. Some of you will be like “absolutely not” regarding healing and transforming these connections, you know you best. This being the dream though, if you resist it, why do you want it?

The advice on either side is to decisively choose to free yourself and heal your heart. Speaking your mind and feelings to those that need to hear it, whether it’s “I miss you” or a “fk you for hurting me”, whatever you keep locked up tight and refuse to actually express. Whether healing the connection or not, this conversation you want to have will heal YOU. I don’t see you being unkind though, even if you were hurt, and 3 Swords rev shows you were, and have healed. You’ve kept yourself trapped in your head in an emotional prison of wounds you don’t speak about, that have hurt your relationships, whether deserved or not. So speak your truth. Some can heal and change, some aren’t as bad as you fear they are, and some just need to hear it because you’ve never told them. If others are receptive, transformation is inevitable, and if they’re not, now you know, but either way this can be laid to rest.

Charms:

Crown 👑 on Mystic Healer is your gift, it’s likely for most of you that on your own journey of healing you could heal others that surround you, those in your family, your friends, anyone that spends time with you. If you haven’t already spiritually ascended, you’re heading in that direction, where you fully understand the inner workings of everyone in your life and how it flows (or doesn’t) with you, plus how to help others take steps towards doing this for themselves. Especially with 6th House, you really are a helper, and a healer, for other people, it’s something you feel you “owe” to others, society, and yourself too. Some of that energy could be used towards the home and family for this pile.

Rocking Horse 🐴 on 10 Cups indicates children, connected to avoidance, lying, sneaking, cheating and deceiving. Could be your own children, some in your family, friend group, traumas from childhood, childhood friends and companions. It can be so many things, you’ll have to apply this to your story however it fits. Some of you may be avoiding having/wanting kids due to family trauma and wanting to end your bloodline, feeling you’re cursed or something. I really don’t get that being true, but it’s these sorts of thoughts and feelings that need to be brought to light & discussed. Some of you have childhood wounds to heal. Some of you may have walked away from children or had others walk away from you as a child…deep wounds are indicated.

Regrowth 🌳 on The World rev looks dead, just like The World looks done, but neither actually are. The tree is growing leaves, slowly, and The World is reversed, waiting on something to fully close this cycle for good. It comes in the form of a message to someone you either really want to talk to, know you need to, or can’t rest until you finally do.

Hamsa Hand 🪬 (down) on Transformation talks about blessings, gifts, abundance, wonderful things coming your way. The universe wants to give you positive transformations and healing, you have nothing…irrational to fear. Again if you know a person is no good and your gut says NO, listen. Most stories I get here aren’t tragic, and can be healed with some honest communication, accountability, and vulnerability. It all feels very positive. If this person is evil then the closure needs to come from yourself, still maybe sending a message, or talking with others that have gone through this same experience.

Locked Heart 🔒 on 8 Swords rev is you releasing yourself from a self imposed prison that you’ve held yourself in who knows how long. If you can’t forgive and change the relationship with a person, okay. Forgive yourself, speak it out loud to whoever needs to hear it. For some, you may keep painful secrets from a partner or family members. Release those too! Open up to those that love you and nothing bad will come from that, only support and understanding. You have to choose to heal though, you can’t avoid it anymore. Once you do, who you are will completely transform into a more self assured, confident, happy & healed person. For some, a “homecoming” is in store. For everyone, all you want the most is to release this feeling of guilt, avoidance, not speaking your truth and hiding your pain - which will take a conscious effort, and courage.

For a very small portion of you, this is a relationship you just want to end, and leave, but you feel guilty about it, or like you owe them your time, loyalty, all of you. Or there is some aspect that keeps you unhappy and you need to address this. You could have kids together, or one of you does and there is a bond there regardless. Again some can heal, with communication & opening up about how you really feel, and some just want to finally let it go and feel free again. Speak your desires into life, or your pain into awareness, attempting telepathy often leads to wrong assumptions, fear winning, foggy understandings & confusion. Is it intuition or is it just projection of my own fears? Moon energy 😵‍💫 If your behaviors, fears, accusations, etc. match the energy in your 7th House, then it’s possible you’re a part of the problem and that’s what you’ve avoided facing, not speaking your truth to resist hearing the truth of others as well. 7th House is who we attract and what we project (our shadow 😈 side) and everyone has a side. Again, if abuse is involved, fk their side, no one gets to defend having abused you and no one deserves to be abused, you only owe yourself an apology for beating yourself up about it 💜 But that’s not everyone here, it’s a mixed bunch in this pile, some just want to do the right thing, some are wrong, some have never gotten clarity and have built walls for nothing, and some have been wronged.

Pile 4 - Blue 💠

The Dream: 10 Pentacles

The House:

Story 1: 9th

Story 2: 10th

Signs:

Sagittarius, Scorpio, Virgo, Capricorn, North Node & placements in Leo

Oracles:

Story 1:

64 Actualization

You will achieve your full potential by virtue of your creativity and your honest pursuit of truth.

30 Capable

You can deal successfully with whatever challenges and circumstances arise.

Transformation

“A fresh new way of living emerges.”

Story 2:

54 Visualize

When we develop out abilities to visualize, we can manifest maximum influence on our experience of reality.

50 Sacred Space

Use beautiful art, music, and creativity of all kinds to put you into a sacred space.

62 Delay

Confront the natural tendency to delay the finishing of a creative endeavor.

Protected By Angels

“You are cherished by the angels.”

What can you do right now to prepare?

Two clear stories here that are night 🌙 and day ☀️ but both represented by 10 Pentacles, the solid family or business foundation on which we stand, what most of us are working towards, ideally.

Story 1: You are very religious or spiritual, your beliefs run deep. I don’t see a Hierophant to show them being super conservative or not, that may vary between you all. But there has been some element of “sin” in your family, either a specific person or this could be a generational trauma of some kind that is just too eerie to be a coincidence. It probably relates to things of a sexual nature, addictions, known issues & Devil related topics, and either judging these things yourself or being judged for them. I’m getting the message that if you’re a true believer, it’s not your job to judge. Give it to God, or whatever you believe in, and on your side, forgive this person for whatever it is you’re holding against them. It can be as simple as a crop top, a flirty text, or a teen pregnancy scare & the abortion/birth control debate, it could be an extremely religious background, ideals, goals, that you want your family to be a part of, or absolutely do NOT. But there is Judgment being cast where it’s not your place to cast it, it’s your place to forgive, support, and “stay in your lane”. Or break free from it altogether, if you’re the one that is being judged by people that don’t get to do that.

Whatever this is, it’s not about you anymore, it’s about the legacy you’re leaving behind for the rest of your family. Your values, your beliefs, you want to protect them and also want to stand solid & strong in your personal morals. It’s got a righteous ring to it, for some, others are genuinely the more volunteer/helper of the community sort of people. Those dealing with addictions and other problems like that. You want to heal your family lineage and teach them the “right” way to be, whether your kids, spouse, siblings, parents even. There is a fine line there. You are best to lead by example and allow others to follow, be patient & forgiving, not pushy. Your oracle cards show you as a fierce warrior of truth & spiritual values. Always be careful to only judge yourself, and everything else here is beautiful and positive for you. If healing family wounds is your goal, you have more than enough ability to do so, for some of you that’s your true calling in life, and you already know that. Transformation is a beautiful energy, and with N Node Leo, whatever work you’re putting into spirituality, a church perhaps, rehabilitation, social work, you name it, it’s going to receive a lot of positive attention. You can’t get better energy for what you want to do. But you can’t immerse yourself in a community if you’re on a pedestal looking down on them, that’s what this whole message is saying. Some won’t choose your way, and you have no control over that, but you can love them anyway. Jesus didn’t feast with the wealthy & righteous. How is such a conservatively religious sort of message coming out on this blog, like I get it and it’s useful & true, but I’m just lost. Not all of you are religious, or some of you were raised that way and reject it, but still act like this towards others. Or you may be dealing with people like this and need to spread the message. There is no one way, no one direction is the right direction, everyone has different paths, values, talents, interests, beliefs, etc. It’s safer to assume most of them are right if they all have the same basic idea right, just don’t be a shitty person 😁

Story 2: You want to start your own business, re-open an old family one, or reimagine an old idea of the family’s. Possibly keeping one going, but I see this more for the ones with an idea and little else so far. You want to create something lasting and beautiful that you can pass down through the generations. But you’re only at 2 Wands, the early planning stages, and Delay shows you as easily distracted, talking yourself out of things, procrastination, and a lack of faith you needn’t have. You have Protected By Angels, which is funny because story 1 is all about religion, and you have the angels 😇 That’s because they already know they have them. You don’t. But…you do 🩵

All of the energy here shows you having amazing visualization skills but you really have to put time into mediation and creating what you want to have inside of your head first. Your manifestation abilities may be very powerful and you don’t even realize it. You want success, your family to share in your success, enough money to handle the bills and some for vacations and stuff too, it’s your dream. You have all of the tools to create exactly what you want, the only things you need is 1. A plan. 2. Money, for supplies, a workspace, etc. 3. Research 💯 and 4. Execution. Queen of Pentacles shows you’ve got this, because she’s got this, running a business or the financial ties to her world (10 Pentacles) are what she does best. You could be a single parent that wants to work for themselves and spend more time at home with your kids. Once you have everything picked out, decided, saved up for, and ready to go…North Node Leo is destined for success, attention, fame on some level is likely - even a local level, positive recognition from others and a great, well-known reputation for something everyone wants, that you do best. It’s something you will have to work for, but it all starts inside of your own head.

Charms:

Story 1:

Alice 🐇 on 9th House could be showing children specifically as your target audience, maybe instilling spiritual or moral values into them, you could be a teacher or family psychologist of some kind, or that’s the goal. This could also include fairy tales. I gotta throw out there, with Moulin Rouge too and this heavy sense of moral JUSTICE, you could be concerned about things regarding child abuse, and that’s being shown by the author of this particular story. Idk for sure, but we’ve all heard he’s suspicious. Being a protector of children could be a high level priority for you, and bless you for that. Or with Transformation, you may take things like fairy tales and modernize them in some way. Could be 1000 things but that’s what I got from this. If your children do not believe what you believe or do what you want them to do…they have their own path. Same for you with your own parents. Some of you need to get in touch with your own inner child, there’s a lot of learning that needs to happen here, whether it’s regarding control, spirituality, right vs. wrong or old vs. modern, maybe a combination of all of these things. From what I’ve gathered in these readings, everyone is going to experience the path that is for them, regardless of what others think or believe about it. So you decide to help, or hurt, the inevitable.

Moulin Rouge 💋 on Judgement is difficult, because Temperance is having patience and understanding with those that are very different from you. You could be easily triggered by things like sex workers, models, drug addicts, alcoholics, gamblers, etc etc. The religiously righteous of you have to toe the fine line of what’s best for you, giving with a pure heart, and battling the deeply ingrained judgement that you want to pass out, or have to experience. Constantly having to keep yourself in check and also not being too soft that you don’t have boundaries. Some of you are reformed addicts etc., have a past, and want to turn things around, some of you have been “saved” by whichever God etc., and now want to spread the word & help others. Again some of you are advocates for children or protective of them being put in these situations, and bless you for that 💯🙏

Sword 🗡 on Capable is similar to Ace of Swords, which is absolute truth, honesty, fairness, and decisively making the best choices for you, your purpose, your message or whatever you’re needing to do. It’s separating “the point” from the extras of a situation. It’s the same sword of Justice that cuts off what is not necessary or conducive for the purpose or outcome you need/desire. The meaning behind this whole story is wholesome, and yet you’re fierce. 10 Pentacles could show you working with families as a counselor with the goal to keep them whole. Kids are here more than once. For some, it’s your inner child. Or your own children. Some of you may have been victims of painful experience, and only want to make life better for your own children, breaking generational curses and any trauma you had experienced, so you & life can be better for them. Setting the example of what family should be. Some of you may be projecting fear onto children and unknowingly causing unnecessary fear & damage, or even manifesting your own fears into reality, if that’s something you’re constantly focused on. Thoughts become things. Kids rebel. Open honest conversations are needed to bring clarity on all sides.

Story 2:

Spider & Web 🕷 on The Magician is a beautiful message of being able to spin the reality you desire in whatever way you want it to be, the same message of The Magician, but in case you missed it the first time. You can create your reality, and there is nothing stopping you but you, that I can see. If you feel like you can’t, this is saying you’re wrong, with love.

Dragonfly 🪷 on Sacred Space shows a transformation being necessary, and it’s directly connected to delays. If you spend most of your time in crowded spaces, around chaos or constant playing phones, tvs, computers, chatty people, it’s not good for what you’re trying to do here. You’re easily distracted, and part of you uses that as an excuse. This says you need to create (or transform) a space that is entirely for your creative manifestation ideas and thinking. A thinking spot. Like Winnie the Pooh 🍯 but with a vibe that’s soft, tranquil, and mimics what you want for this bigger idea, your space should get you into this mindset of what you want because it also is a part of what you want, but a smaller part. Vision boards could be very useful for you.

Axe 🪓 on Delay mirrors the Dragonfly, you have to recognize the things that distract you, whether it’s phone calls or loud tvs or social media etc., and figure out how to work around those things or get away from them entirely. It’s like you can’t even think, and you don’t make yourself. You need the equivalent of a man cave, except a whatever, “a tranquil sanctuary of Italian music” if a restaurant like that is what you’re going for. Something that inspires you to immediately imagine your idea, and make you ready to get started on a regular basis. An office. A nook. It’s a priority.

Pile 5 - Pink 🎀

The Dream: King of Wands

The House: 11th

Signs:

Aries, Scorpio, Taurus, Libra & Saturn in Taurus

Oracles:

Story 1:

80 Go Deeper

Expressing the deeper meanings in life, while staying attuned for childlike wonder, is at the heart of all great art.

2 Push

Don’t feel inadequate; forget how to quit. Push on, no matter how things look.

Uncovering Treasure

“Beneath the surface lies great bounty.”

Story 2:

19 Growth

Feel open, willing, and proud of your desire to explore new opportunities for self-development.

57 Worry

Worry is attachment to a particular outcome and the fear that it will not come to pass.

Unknown Territory

“You are exactly where you need to be.”

What can you do right now to prepare?

You’ve chosen the pile that wants a sexy, confident, amazing lover that leaves you speechless (or out of breath) and makes all of your dreams come true. They’re your best friend, lover, confidant, they want to marry you and spend the rest of your lives together. Masculine & Feminine energies both dominate, Mars signs and Venus signs are both the focus here, no matter where you fall gender wise you want a lover, THE person of your dreams. In your head, they’re incredibly attractive and possess more Mars/Aries qualities, very forward & direct, confident, flirty, commanding & dominant, they make the first move, they get attention from everyone in the room because they’re a larger than life sort of personality - for half. The other half are dark, mysterious, watch you from across the room with a deep & almost obsessive stare, immediately infatuated with ONLY you. Scorpio. That HEAT 🔥 passion, smoldering, lusty, “love at first sight” kind of feeling. But also, one that lasts 💯 I’m getting more Venus energy from you.

Here is where the story splits - half of you feel like you know this person already, you’re story 1. The other half are waiting to finally meet them and it’s killing you like come ON already, you’re story 2.

Story 1:

You’re madly infatuated with someone in your world, 11th House shows they could be a friend right now, or you’ve only recently started dating, you could have met them through friends, networking, social media/online, or dating apps. The chemistry is on fire, and you want things to go to the next level. They’re acting like they’re at a 3, casual and friendly, not pushing too hard or going too fast, and you’re at a TEN BABY 💍 Put a ring on it, give me babies, I got an appointment to look at a nice area rug for our living room. Chop chop. I feel for most this is all NEW, and you crazy 😆, but for some of you it’s been enough time (years) to where this energy makes more sense. They’re everything you’ve ever wanted, imagined, hoped for. Even more than that. You’ve probably never been so stuck on someone like this. So what’s the problem?

The waiting is killing you, this whole dating game dance, you’re dying for this person to direct, lead, “pleaaaase tell me what you want” sort of energy. What you can do to help this along right now, is be very clear…strategic, but clear, about how much you’re into them. What are your goals, what are theirs? What inspires you, and them? What are they hoping for this relationship, are they just living in the now or do they have hopes for longer term love? Communication is everything, I’m getting the more you let them know how crazy about them you are, the more they’ll reciprocate, if this is the right one for you. Opal on The Emperor can show a dominant sort of person yes, and also they’re kind of shy! Or weird with opening up. They can ask you if you want a drink, or tacos for dinner, but in heart matters, it’s your turn to take the lead. You both have to take turns being the aggressor and the more receptive & vulnerable, it’s a balance, that’s what Mars & Venus are showing here, not gender or even signs really. Maybe. Saturn Taurus, if not a literal placement of someone, is showing a need to be patient and give things/people the time they need to naturally unmask themselves, open up, dig deeper, commit, feel things, etc. You’re being encouraged to act on your feelings, open the door, start asking the right questions and be transparent about how you feel and what you want…no pressure though. Balance. You feel like you’ve found some treasure, you have, and the more you learn the crazier about them you are or will be 🩷 But what do they want? Get answers. Unless you just met them last week.

Story 2:

This smoldery sexy partner is what you’re dreaming of day in and day out, you’re manifesting them like crazy, obsessively, and it’s not showing up for you like you’ve asked for. You’ve waited and waited for someone to approach you, ask you out, where is this dream lover, you’ve done all of the manifestation work and it’s like it hasn’t worked for you. You’re losing patience or starting to believe maybe this isn’t in the cards for you - with the Worry card here. All of your Oracle cards show that this person you dream of isn’t coming, because *that* person isn’t actually compatible with who you are! It’s what you want, but you don’t yet know what you NEED. If this person walked into the bar tonight and was very forward & direct, or silent and stalkerish, be honest, you’d probably get creep vibes or some red flags signaling (helpppp!). In your head, in movies, it’s great, it’s hot. In reality, this doesn’t seem like the right person for you. You’re in the middle of a big shift, realizing who you really are, and what you really want, and that’s the advice here.

You want something long lasting, possibly a “friends first” sort of connection. This could also be hinting that the person you’re looking for is or will be a friend first. With Unknown Territory & Worry, I get your “dreams” or standards actually being kind of a problem, you may have a laundry list of qualities that aren’t feasible or don’t actually work for you. Some of your standards may be unreachable, or even unlikely for the sort of person you’d actually be happy with. Whoever the right one is, I get that they don’t match anything you’re thinking of, and they’re nothing like whatever you’ve experienced before. Clearly that’s a good thing, because what didn’t work - didn’t work for a reason, they’ll be your person. While you’re working on growing and changing, maturing yourself and going after the things you want & enjoy, you’ll find this person eventually, many signs point to friends. You could meet them through a friend, a gathering with your own friends, definitely something social with 11th House & 3 Cups. But that list you’ve got of what they look like (smoldery), how they make you feel (lust), all of that forces you into a role that complements that type, and that’s not who you are. Stalkery fkery. “Bad boys/girls”. They’re bad for a reason, probably in jail right now 😆 In your case it’s like you’re chasing a venus/mars dynamic but really it’s an intelligent & funny sign that loves to chat that’s more your style. Not necessarily, but I’m definitely picking up more of a Mercury ruled sort of person, that would be Gem/Vir in placements or risings. They’re not smoldery, they’re chatty, straightforward, honest, transparent, and super friendly. Like you? If you go for tattoos, maybe they’re more simple & straightedge, if you’re more long hair & grunge, they could be neat & simple, if you’re more bougie & expensive, they could be more shell necklaces, organics and locs. Be more willing to try new experiences & see what happens. Again with Saturn Taurus, same as the first story, things taking some necessary time is what’s going to drive you bonkers, or you/they could have this placement. This position would also nod towards having a narrow lane of vision that needs to expand because it only works against you. If you have a “type” it hasn’t worked before so…maybe it’s time to let that go 💘

Charms:

Courageous ♈️ and Scorpio ♏️ on King of Wands is describing “the dominant male” or the “powerful vixen” in your typical movie style archetypes. Make sure your reality matches your ideals, it’s not just lust, and you’re not just projecting fantasies onto someone that isn’t actually how you may be seeing them. That’s why time & getting to know them is necessary. You definitely want someone that makes the first move, but you also have to be open to who does that. Some of you just need to say that to your person, and others of you can’t pretend to know how that’s going to show up for you. Likely unexpected.

Opal 💗 on The Emperor shows the Aries/Libra opposition, yin & yang, masculine and feminine, chaser & chased. There is no one story here, everyone wants something different. The Venus signs are softer, more receptive, “the chased”, ruled by love, friendship, dating, etc. The Empress. The Mars signs take initiative, are more aggressive, chase what they want (prefer to), typically more dominant & powerful personalities. These two being together can show balance is needed, not wanting one more than the other, and also accepting that these roles will need to flip back and forth sometimes. No one can stay in their masculine action or feminine receptivity every second, it’s necessary that both of you can instinctively shift into the other role too. Or it can become a more toxic energy, like for masculine, you don’t want a total aggressive meathead that can’t show emotions at all right? Or for feminine, one that expects you to initiate, plan, act on everything and they just accept or don’t make any moves ever? No, it’s needing a balance of both. Knowing which energies you tend to be more comfortable in, and what you need in another person to balance out your own personality, plus what they want too. It can come in an unexpected package that don’t have anything to do with these planets. If you are comfortable with one energy, this can be saying do the opposite and see what happens. And if you have a person, what is their own energy, you’ll have to balance with them or speak the need for them to do the same with you 💯

Spider & Web 🕷 on Ace of Swords is manifesting exactly what you want, having the tools to do so by using communication, ideas, the truth, being upfront and honest about who you are and what you want. For Story 1 it’s opening up to this person, for Story 2 it’s clarity about yourself that’s needed.

Starfish ⭐️ and Treble Clef 🎼 on Ace of Cups show music, hobbies, and following your passions in life and doing activities involving those things are what will lead you to healing any past wounds you still carry, and any fears you may have. You could meet your person through doing some of these things, especially where friends are involved, or if you know them already, getting them around your friends would be a good idea. Like parents, friends know who you are and can vibe accurately with your new date a few times, they’ll always tell you the truth you may not see. So long as you agree.

Rose 🌹 on 6 Pentacles is beautiful growth in yourself and your relationships with equal give and take. No one person is doing more, giving more, receiving more, it’s an equal exchange of energies. Today my person is planning everything and working hard for me to enjoy them, tomorrow I’m cleaning & detailing our cars because they don’t like to, etc. They asked me out last time and I didn’t respond, let me ask them this time. Doing life together & making each others lives easier and a happier, being open and honest about what you want and how you feel = happiness. When your person is sick, you step up, romance is a two way street.

Pile 6 - Purple 🔮

The Dream: The Fool

The House: 8th

Signs:

Capricorn, Sagittarius, Libra, Cancer & Scorpio

Oracles:

3 Share

To help you make progress, it’s a good idea to share what you have and what you care about.

39 Direction

Switch gears, reboot, and try a new and different direction.

10 Wish Granted

Believe in your abilities as a Magic Maker manifest your wishes; they will soon be your reality.

13 Innovation

Have fun and experiment, inventing something that surprises and has never existed before.

What can you do right now to prepare?

This pile is pretty vague, but 9/10 people choosing this pile probably hate their job more than anything else - specifically. You’d all love to pick up the phone, call in, tell them to fk off and you’re never coming back GOOD DAY. Biiiitch 😆 You won’t of course, you’re too responsible for all that, and that’s the issue.

The dream itself is taking very fast, impulsive action, just waking up and deciding you’d rather do anything else but go back to this same place yet again to do the same shit yet again, to just be not appreciated and overly burdened. The only part I’m seeing you not being able to do, is the impulsive part, which you already know. But that is the dream. King of Pentacles describes you, you’re the career oriented, business running, every I is dotted and T is crossed kind of financial planner personality, it’s a wonderful thing and your biggest burden. You may be the type to act guilty if you take “you time”, vacations, sick days, overworking yourself to death…for what? There is no reward for that. Money sure, but it won’t matter if you’re dead because you can’t be bothered to take lunch breaks, nourish yourself, needed vacations and time off to just live. Everyone knows it’s the charming yes men that can’t math actually get the promotions 😁 Not the ones willing to die on the same hill they came in on. Which is part of your advice here, with Libra.

That isn’t shade @ Libra, everyone knows they’re charming & persuasive, Share with their charm is showing you needing to embody that energy a little more. Be chatty, friendly, seek to make a friend out of everyone, and always get your own personal bugs (ideas/desires) in everyone’s ear. Libra knows it takes cooperation and networking to move up the ladder, and it often works for them. People help them, because they like them. Your energy comes up more as Capricorn, regardless of actual signs. “I don’t deserve nice things and I’ll slave until I die to earn them.” Balance 🙏 That personality can be taken advantage of a lot, because they know you’ll always show up, and they can slack off. Why would people try harder or move you up, if you’ll willingly run the whole show as just Cashier #5, no no, you’re good where you are. Forever 🫠

The advice can be a couple things. If you have the money, take a vacation. You need a break. It can be that simple, save up some money and just do it. Then when you come back refreshed, make yourself a whole new person while alone, daydream yourself into a reality where you are in a position that’s valued, respected, and well paid. It starts with valuing yourself. Get inspired. Meditate. Then when you come back, start speaking up and charming everyone around you until you get word of a new position. They don’t tell you the “shmoozing” is silent in “promotion”. But that’s who always gets promoted, and you’ve got it, so use it.

Others of you are really entrepreneurs at heart, and your desire could actually be starting your own business, which I see very positive things for. Not impulsively 💯 But by perfecting an idea, putting in the time and work, saving up the money, networking, getting it all going in whichever ways this applies. You want it to be fast, but it won’t be fast. If it was, you’d be fast and broke, and you don’t want really that. Don’t just quit tomorrow, but start prioritizing honing these skills and crafts, whatever is your idea. There’s a whole period of trial and error, and making changes you maybe didn’t even see the first time around. If your own business is the dream, I see it having enormous potential to grow into something long lasting. Or this can be a hobby, a side hustle, an investment, any number of things but financial rewards are possible with it.

Your advice is to spend a lot more time on your own, making the necessary space and prioritizing yourself, so you have the time you need to really get clear on what you want, what it should look like, how you can schedule that in, how will it benefit you and what does it require of you? Getting feedback, with Share, is also a good idea, which doesn’t mean spill your ideas to the world but looking for other people who have done this already - tell their stories. Get inspired, network, make friends & contacts in this world you want to jump into. Then by the time you actually make moves, you’ll have more confidence, knowledge, helpful suggestions and good business sense.

If your family is what is demanding so much of your time and energy, you could need a separate space for “you stuff”. Your own thoughts, your break from chaos, everyone should have a space and you deserve one too, your family can learn that when you are in this space, leave you alone for awhile. Running isn’t the answer here, prioritizing yourself is, and this Fool can relate to you setting necessary boundaries in your life with people who think they are owed all of your time, your attention, your money, no. I don’t see kids, but in the case you have them plz don’t leave them alone to burn the house down - obviously. Within reason, you can set aside time for yourself and others have to honor it just like you would for them. If you work at home, then a workspace dedicated to you & work, and respecting these boundaries is required with you. Many people throw their weight around with their demands, expectations, preferences, yada yada ok sure. You get to have some too. Everyone does 💜 We work around & respect those boundaries and desires when we care about someone, it’s not hard. It’s more you realizing you need it. For work, they are exchanging your life for pay. Give them what they pay for, no more, and make your expectations of reward or higher status clear…in a friendly way.

Charms:

Capricorn ♑️ on The Fool is a total contradiction, jumping headfirst into something unknown with the sign that crosses every T and financially budgets the plan with very little leeway in order to achieve maximum return on their investment, yeah we don’t do foolish or impulsive things here. Probably why you want to be like that, it’s unheard of. This is really saying risks are fine to take, you’re too calculated & practical to jump into shark infested waters, so even more than most you’re actually fine and shouldn’t hold yourself back so much. Do your research sure, get reviews, find the most cost effective option, all great, and then JUMP.

Charming ♎️ on Share seems to be qualities you do possess that you ought to highlight more. You’re friendly, sociable, like getting feedback from other people, and you have a way with others that make them feel special and genuinely cared about. In turn, that makes them want to help you, talk to you, be your friend. It’s like you have this quality but you don’t turn it on, unless you have to. Choose to, consciously, on purpose.

Happy Cloud ⛅️ on Wish Granted is a daydreamy energy, manifesting the thing you want into your life by having the necessary time to really dig deep and figure out what that is. You’re going to have a dream come true, this card shows it as being a definite thing.

Dragonfly 🪷 on The Hermit is metamorphosis, change, evolution, a spiritual awakening for some being The Hermit. The more you know yourself, your talents, and what you need, the more authentic and successful your next move will be. You know you best, never question that or take “Share” so literal that you’re malleable to others’ input you may not actually agree with. Be friendly, and also yourself. You may do your best work alone and also are a social creature, both wolves need feeding.

Comb 👱‍♀️ on Innovation could talk about experimenting with your look, the look of a business, the physical characteristics of things. This could be a nod towards an idea you have, something you need, or generally something that would revitalize your spirit and make you feel inspired to change/transform yourself now from how you’ve been before. 8th House is intense energy, there will be a necessary ending, but it feels more about what you will & wont accept, and what you want & don’t. Make the outside things look like your inside ideal.

#PAC #pick a card #august 2023 #follow your dreams #dreams #astrology #zodiac signs #tarot #pick a pile #all signs

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blackswallowtailbutterfly · 9 months ago

Note

Anon because reasons. I've been a transman for over ten years. I never thought I would reach out to a TERF but I'm seeing things in my community that scare me and I literally don't know what to do. The transwomen I follow suddenly started reblogging and making posts about protecting transwomen from rape/pedo allegations but I'm conflicted because I was raped by my uncles when I was little. I feel like I'm going crazy idk why I'm asking you I just feel so dysregulated and distressed. Please don't hurt me or expose me, idk what they would do if they realized I was talking to terfs.

I have no wish or intent to hurt or expose you, so have no fear of that. To be upfront: I am a feminist. I do see sexual assault primarily as a hate crime men commit against women and girls (rape). Women and girls being female humans and men being male ones. But you already knew that. For the purposes of this response, however, I will use gender neutral language where possible.

Honestly, ten years ago I had no idea I'd be where I'm at now. I was considering identifying as agender and was only just starting to become uncomfortable with trans activists. The biggest reason was, even back then, protecting predatory behaviour. Unfortunately, as the years have gone by it's only gotten worse. Maybe it's not something you've come across until now, so I imagine this must be a shock, or maybe the people around you doing it used a lot of weasel words and it hasn't become apparent until now.

Either way it's a terrible thing to realize the people you consider your community just don't think sexual assault is that big a deal, especially when they've said it is, but their actions are showing otherwise.

It's a betrayal to those of us who have been sexually assaulted and don't want that to happen to anyone else ever again. Especially if the person who sexually assaulted you was someone you trusted. What your uncle did to you was already a horrific betrayal. To know someone you respect would say he should be protected from your allegations if x reason (in this case if he identified as trans, but this can happen in other ways; someone I greatly respected called Julian Assange a friend after he raped two women; that sucked and I stopped keeping up with him after that) is a betrayal on top of that.

I was molested by my stepfather and some fucked up shit happened when my biological father showed me off to his friends when I was a toddler. I know that pain well. "Valid" is a word that's certainly been over-used and misused, but right now I'm going to use in the way it was used at the Sexual Assault Crisis Centre I attended: your feelings on this are valid.

Sexual assault is one of the worst things a person can do to someone. Saying that people who do those things should be protected for any reason, that alleged victims should be doubted, that alleged perpetrators should be given the benefit of the doubt is fucked up. You are not in the wrong for feeling uncomfortable and worse about it. That just shows you have your humanity.

Now, I'm not going to tell you what else you should think, but what I will say is: I'm not afraid of the women here knowing I talk to men. Or trans people for that matter. Even if I was reaching out to vent. At most they might question why I chose a man and not a woman, but ultimately it just wouldn't be an issue. It's not that there are no assholes here--there are quite a few--but most of them are easily ignored and those that aren't typically get pushback for being assholes and eventually end up leaving or ostracized.

Do you think that it's healthy, as a literal trans-identified person yourself, for people in a community to be so afraid of one another that they can't let anyone know if they talk to certain people? Now, I'm sure it's not as simple as just dropping people who act this way. I've known people with shitty friend groups. It's hard. It's hard when all of your peers seem to support certain behaviour. I get it. I am in no way expecting that you're suddenly going to drop your community.

But I'm not talking to them. I'm talking to you, the person who reached out to me. From one survivor of familial sexual assault to another: you don't deserve to be treated this way. You don't deserve to have your pain trivialized, even indirectly, for a cause. So even if you can't talk to any of your peers about it (and maybe you can! maybe there are people you know who feel the exact same way), I want you to know in your heart that this is wrong and you're right to feel that it's wrong.

And when you're ready, whatever that looks like, I hope you can get out of this and find a community where you would never be punished for raising concerns about something like this. You would be upheld and loudly supported because that shit just wouldn't fly.

Take care of yourself, anon. I hope you have a good day/evening. I hope your uncle rots and I hope the transwoman you're following becomes a better person. Or falls down a well. Whichever comes first.

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existslikepristin · 1 year ago

Text

I edited this post with my (essentially) finished paint job as well as a rundown of how I got crushed in the first game, in case you're curious to hear about my utter failure that kept me from posting this for a week, lol. If you're not, there's smut after this Keep Reading line

Tags: NSFW, S.M.U.T., genie, anal

(Story Index)

On the table again…

You rub at your temples and finish stepping out of your shorts. You’re hearing a lot of things that feel rather unnecessary, and frankly, you’re more than a bit tired. “Can we just… let’s go with the table again.”

Joy snorts back a laugh and nods. “Sure thing, master.” And with that, she floats into the air again, drifts horizontally over your head, and settles onto her back on the table. The mug of tea lands next to her face and a curly straw appears, allowing her to sip at it without getting up. She points her legs straight toward the ceiling, blocking her face from view, and, like a dancer—imagine that—, she slowly spreads them to either side. Her ass is still plugged, and her lack of a vagina is still very weird.

“Not trying to be presumptuous with the missionary position, master. Just thought you might like to see how my titties bounce this time. Or feel them. They’re yours to do with as you please, after all. Like the rest of me is.”

You step up and pull the plug out of her ass, taking a bit less time to appreciate the beauty of the action than before, as you’re just in it for the fucking this time. You take note of the brief deluge of your cum that follows, but ultimately pay it no mind, shoving your cock past it and into Joy’s butt.

For a second, Joy gargles sensually, but then swallows the mouthful of tea and moans instead.

It’s just as effortless as the first time, fucking Joy’s asshole. You glide in and out, getting massaged all the way. You could get used to this.

And yup, you’re used to it! You’ve already grown accustomed to it. It’s only been like half an hour since meeting Joy, and you can see yourself buried in her ass for probably forever. Not that you’ll literally do that. Probably.

Joy pulls her legs up a bit, and you take in the view except for her weird lack of pussy. Her thighs jiggle with each of your thrusts, her lips gape as she pants, and her boobs tempt you with their bounces. She did specifically say she was getting on her back so you could see them, and she did say they were yours, so…

You lean forward, scooping Joy’s tits into your palms. They’re just barely too large for your hands, which, as you think about it, doesn’t quite make sense as a measurement for boobs. It’s not clear exactly how you’re supposed to define a handful. Like, Joy’s tits aren’t that big. If you had to guess, they’re even a little smaller than the average (or so you assume from all the porn you watch). With the way they spread out from your fingers a bit as you squeeze though, you're not so sure you can call them a handful or even know exactly where to measure from. The bottom of the tit is pretty easy to determine, but where it ends on top is more nebulous. You could measure a handful if they were upright and you were behind her, cupping them. You suspect then she’d be just about a handful, but so could any number of other boob sizes. You might have to start specifying between heaping, rounded, and leveled handfuls perhaps, like in recipes. Then, of course, you’d need to take into account the size of your hand—

“Something on your mind, master?”

Options:

Yes. It’s time to go to a strip club, so you can take some scientific measurements. Right after you’re finished here.

Oh shit, right! You’re supposed to be meeting with a friend of yours tonight! Right after you’re finished here.

Suddenly you want to bake something. Tell her to help you bake something. Right after you’re finished here.

You’re still thinking about other exotic fucking locations. That was the second place vote… You don’t even have to finish here.

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radiostatik · 1 year ago

Note

Would you consider yourself more of a Hazbin Hotel or a Helluva Boss fan, or are you into the entire Helluvaverse fandom as a whole?? I've known some folks who are fans and care more about Helluva than Hazbin and I've met others who care and love Hazbin more than Helluva, I'm someone who falls into the second category and even when I was a HB fan, I've honestly always loved Hazbin and it's characters more, IMO. I also wanted to ask if you have any concerns and worries for HH since it's not that far from release and we only have a couple of months, HB S2 hasn't been the best and some have expressed their concerns for HH as HB hasn't been the best honestly, I honestly wanted to know your thoughts if you don't mind responding and answering, it's up to you! 💗

I don't mind answering questions at all!

When Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss both released their pilots these were my first thoughts

Hazbin Hotel: I was awestruck by the pretty and unique art style and animation, I thought the jokes were pretty funny, and it seemed to have a lot of heart. I loved Charlie, she makes a perfect protagonist for taking place in hell. She's clever, optimistic, good hearted, but not afraid to throw a punch.

Sir Pentious was so silly, and had such a fun, hilarious dynamic with Angel Dust.

Alastor drew me in with his goofy, non chalant subtle sadistic personality, along with his old times radio voice that sounds straight outta the 30's.

I enjoyed the pilot and had a lot of hope that it would be a good series. An adult comedy with an appealing art style, an lots of heart is hard to find.

Now let's talk about Helluva Boss

I decided to check out the pilot, but it's whole existence weirded me out. I was like, "Why are you making a pilot for another show right after just making one? Why not just make episode 2? Isn't it a bit early to be making a spin off of a show that has barley started? The view count also said a lot, with Hazbin Hotel Pilot having almost double the views of the Helluva Boss Pilot. And I can see why.

The characters... aren't all that likable. They are all just mean to each other. I know Millie loves Moxxie, she gaslights him when he's rightfully upset.

There's a noticeable difference between the main couple in Hazbin (Chaggie), and the main couple in Helluva (M&M):

For example

Chaggie:

Vaggie: *Is rightfully upset at Angel, but is getting a little too worked up*

Charlie: *Agrees with her and tells Angel what he did was not cool, tell Vaggie to try to relax, things will be okay.*

Meanwhile M&M:

Moxxie: *Is rightfully upset at Blitz for stalking and filming him and Millie , but is maybe getting a little too worked up*

Millie: "It's not that big a deal" "Calm down, you're gonna have another panic attack"

👁👄👁 Millie wtf. How do you not validate your husband's concerns and condem Blitzo's action.

The whole Helluva Boss Pilot has terrible pacing. We have a flashback within a flashback, the first few times seeing it I was so confused. When Loona says "Come on, you know why", I expected the next flashback to explain the "Moxxie is fat" joke. But there's no explanation. Just another scene of Loona being mean I guess?

The next scene is of Loona telling Blitz he has a phone call. These flashbacks are supposed to show us how mean Loona is. But the Stolas phone call... doesn't show that. It just shows how Blitz has another problem because this one night stand is acting really clingy. We then get the flashback, within the flashback, of Blitz stealing the book.

Blitz says the line "If I hadn't slept with that privileged asshole, non of us would have access to the living world." Nothing wrong with this line, but the way it's delivered makes it seem like having access to the living world is a bad thing?? Maybe the line would make more sense if he said "Sleeping with that privileged asshole is the ONLY reason we have access to the living world." It still works even with Moxxie saying "You what?😶"

There are a few funny lines in the HB Pilot, but a lot more gore. The only "gore" in Hazbin are egg yokes, and some blood from an insect Katy kills with her pen.

The gore in Helluva is amped up and a bit disturbing. A child is shot, then mutilated. That scene made me sick to me stomach.

The kid wasn't even that mean. He said to Moxxie "If I wanted to hear from a spineless jackals, I'd Rip out your spine." Implying that Moxxie DOES have a spine.

Speaking of the kid, how did he enter hell without turning into a demon? How are they able to shoot him without him responding back into Hell? Why did I.M.P. even take him with them? Give him back to his mom or just leave him where you found him! It's weird to think they cared enough to take him with them, yet they'd kill him despite not getting any money for it.

I'd love to get into the other Helluva episodes, but maybe if I get another ask about it.

There are some thing I like about Helluva, but a lot of things I dislike. So, yeah I'm more of a Hazbin fan, but I still somewhat enjoy Helluva and look forward to new episodes coming out. (No matter how disappointing some of them have been)

Do I have any fears about Hazbin Hotel coming out?

I'm glad it's finally coming out, but I'll be honest, I wish it were under better circumstances. This is not the way I wanted it to happen. The entire voice cast has been replaced, the animation style has changed, the main characters all received major downgrades with their redesigns, and major characters that were part of the original lineup (Baxter, Mimzy, + Crymini) all appear to have been dropped from the series. So much for female focused.

I'm still excited for it tho because it will still have Charlie and Vaggie, and we will hopefully get to see more concrete proof that they are a couple within the series.

I'm hoping the new voice actors will do the characters justice, but I'm still not over how Viv screwed the pilot cast over in the way that she did.

#hazbin hotel #helluva boss critical #hazbin hotel critical #vivziepop critical #charlie magne #alastor #sir pentious #angel dust #vaggie #chaggie #helluva boss #my shit #asks

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hareofhrair · 8 months ago

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Typed out a whole long post on reddit that it won’t let me post for no apparent reason, so y’all have to read it instead. It was a response to the question…

Imo, Dragon Age 2 was worse (because it just wasn’t *finished*) but DAI had some pretty glaring flaws. People have mentioned the gameplay issues with things getting annoyingly mmo-like, and the terrible war table timer, a lot of the fights being unnecessary slogs or just annoying to fight- the fear demons that teleport in front of you, knocking you over, then stun you while you’re still in the standing up animation comes to mind.

But for me the biggest problem was a culmination of writing problems that had always been present, but compounded as the series went on. It’s always been a bit… I don’t know if centrist or just contradictory is the better word.

The writing of inquisition is very concerned about *judging* or punishing the player’s negative moral choices and this has an impact on the consistency of the writing, even for people who aren’t interested in engaging with the ethical issues the game presents, because it’s afraid to give you consequences for your actions or allow them to make major impact and it goes out of its way to try and justify any choice you make as morally right or at least pragmatic in a very surface level way. This is consistently teeth grindingly annoying if you’re playing a “good” character/aligning yourself with the elves and mages, because the game is constantly finding an excuse to interrupt whatever you’re doing to say “but what about the Templar’s feelings??? QmQ” or “Did you consider… some elves are really rude???” or “This one mage did something Bad(tm) therefore it’s actually reasonable and right to want to murder all of them!” It also undermines player choice if they want to be evil or self serving, since it’s constantly bending over backwards to tell them how right and just and good their choices are. The writing itself won’t commit to a moral position because it’s too afraid of contradicting the player, and that makes it impossible for it to actually bring any of its themes to a satisfying conclusion.

(It makes this worse by choosing to really backseat the darkspawn storyline in favor of the templars vs mages conflict, which is annoying for multiple reasons, not the least of which is because they can’t bring it to a real resolution without drastically altering the worldstate and having to create two separate storylines- something inquisition is desperate not to do because of money and time restraints. You just can’t do meaningful branching narratives in a triple A setting as this whole series really illustrates- so they just pivot away from it into the *bullshit* with Tresspasser which I will get into in a minute…)

DAO handled the moral issue at least slightly better, I think. There were consequences for deciding to be an asshole at least. I was recently playing a Dalish elf and slogging through the Sacred Ashes questline getting more and more resentful as they essentially forced my character to Become Fantasy Catholic, so I dumped dragon blood in the ashes just to be spiteful… with Leiliana and Wynn in my party. Whoops. In case you haven’t played DAO, there are multiple big moral choices you can make- among them deciding to defile the mortal remains of Fantasy Jesus- which will cause your party members to leave permanently or straight up try to kill you! They have firm personal morals, and if your actions go against those morals they won’t just tolerate it.

Unfortunately, there’s a reason DAO connected such a major party breaking choice to the unavoidable-if-you-want-the-best-ending Player Has Become Catholic quest. These games have some issues with religion.

On the surface, it wants to pretend all the different religions are equally valid and it’s not taking a stance on which one is *real.* Wink wink nudge nudge. Then in practice it trips over itself to provide proof the Christian analogue is real. From finding Jesus’s ashes which have magic healing powers in DAO to Corypheus in Inquisition confirming the blight really was started by Tevinter mages desecrating heaven and pissing off the Maker, which up till then at least had a plausible deniability veneer of “this might be church propaganda, we don’t know what really happened.” And the games will *consistently* assume you are fantasy Catholic 90% of the time, *even if you’re a dwarf or an elf or FUCKING QUNARI*, the only concession being essentially flavor text dialogue where, if asked directly about religion, you can tell people their god is fake in the rudest manner possible. You are either catholic or an asshole, that’s it. Inquisition really knocks it out of the park though with making you *literally* the leader of the titular fantasy catholic inquisition. You can protest throughout the game that you’re not actually fantasy catholic, but this doesn’t have any meaningful effect on anything, and you obviously can’t just choose *not* to lead an explicitly religious order of a faith you don’t actually ascribe to.

This isn’t just me ranting about how much it sucks to be Assigned Catholic At Character Creation (though it is) it’s about how consistently the game renders player choice meaningless. And I fully believe it’s an extension of the already discussed issue with being terrified to contradict player choices or have to account for them in gameplay. It’s just that it treats believing in the Christian analogue as something *default,* standard and unobjectionable. “Of course our players will be Christian. Everyone believes in god! They’d only choose *not* to be as a fun wacky role playing experience! Which means acknowledging those other religions is optional and we can cut it for time.”

Which brings me to *fucking* Trespasser. First of all, and totally besides discussion of the writing, they released DAI without its actual ending, and then released the ending nearly a year later, as PAID DLC. That dick move alone engendered a Lot of negative feelings about the game, even from people who loved everything else. And then there’s the actual content…..

I actually just decided it’s too goddamn much to get into for a reddit post that probably no one will read. Short version- remember the religion problem? And also the bending over backwards to make the player feel morally justified for hating the elves and mages problem?

So it turns out not only is the elven religion *not* real, it was actually just a bunch of evil elven mages doing a slavery! You know, just like the empire of slave owning evil mages we already had? Remember Tevinter? Yeah, turns out that happened twice. Fuck mages, am I right? Also the racist egg you’ve been trying to make friends with all game has, apropos of absolutely nothing, decided actually Fantasy Islam is the biggest threat to the elven people right now (not the civil rights issues or the slow cultural genocide or anything) and he needs to blow up the world before the elves become muslim.

I don’t even know where to go from there frankly! What else can you say! His entire justification for turning against the player and wanting to tear down the veil is wanting to “save” his people (people he has spent the entire game calling inferior and not real elves) by…. Killing them all! Which will fix them, somehow? The specifics aren’t important. All that matters is it’s better they die now than join a different religion. As for everybody else on the planet? Well, we already established he’s racist, not giving a shit about destroying all the non elves is actually perfectly in character. No notes there.

Uhg. I’ve gotten very off track. Trying to bring it back in-

The dragon age series has always been over ambitious in trying to center player choice, stumbling into the same pits Mass Effect did when they simply didn’t have time or money to implement branching narratives, leading to games that talk a lot about how your choices matter while actually giving them very little impact. Origins came the closest to that goal, giving you more choices than most games of the time for how to approach problems. But as the games went on and the team was expected to continue accounting for those choices going forward, it became increasingly avoidant of giving the player choices that had any actual significant impact on the overall worldstate. Combined with a growing reluctance to be perceived as punishing players for in game moral choices (potentially alienating players when they needed to be as broadly appealing as possible because capitalism) and the writer’s centering an explicitly christian perspective as default, these problems snowballed and by Inquisition became very difficult not to notice, creating a choice driven rpg where you can’t make meaningful choices and can’t role play.

#dragon age: inquisition

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ohara-n-brown · 9 months ago

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you do happen to realize that the republicans will be 10 times worse, right? it doesn't take a lot of researching to know that.

if you've seen one single debate, you'd be surprised about how hostile they are. they openly say they want to kill every single palestinian.

i am surprised you are this stupid.

You still ain't do anything I asked if you.you congratulations on proving my point.

You still have not mentioned once in your ask about Biden's actions in Palestine.

And you resorted to name calling like a child.

And you can't even back yourself up off anon.

Girl it's this a joke. I'm gonna humor you though.

Your only leg to stand on is 'Republicans bad'.

Which DUH.

SO - We vote for Biden. Now what?

Let's imagine Biden is elected again. Now what? How do you plan to hold him accountable?

I'm not being an asshole asking hypotheticals as a way to 'outsmart' you. Mfer I'm being LITERAL!!

What are we as a party going to do???????!!!!

If you can't answer that question then you are either dancing around it or couldn't tell that was the question in the first place. Either way, big L.

I'm trying to have a conversation about what happens after Biden's reelection which NO ONE CAN TELL ME.

All you fuckers care about is the election. Like you cannot think not one day past it. Like a wall is behind election day that your brain can't fathom.

and it's frustrating! Having the nerve to act like I'm dumb because I wanna strategize for the future.

If you could tell me the game plan for after I'd be more inclined to vote BEFORE.

DUH.

Quit acting like this is about Republicans vs Democrats. We agree Democrats win.

Now it's Democrats vs YOU. and you're LOSING. BADLY.

#You can't control your canidate nor do you even believe in him #That makes you feel powerless #don't take that shit out on me #wah wah republicans this #WE KNOW #NOW WHAT #DUH DUH DUH #Palestine 🍉#Palestine #free gaza #Gaza #Joe Biden #Biden 2024 #from the river to the sea #from the river to the sea palestine will be free

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stevensavage · 4 months ago

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The Scale of Victims

(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com, Steve's Tumblr, and Pillowfort. Find out more at my newsletter, and all my social media at my linktr.ee)

It sure seems there’s a lot of IT security breaches lately. In fact, it’s to the point where I can’t remember which one inspired this column. It’s probably just as well, since you can map whatever horrific violation of privacy you heard of this week onto this column. There, I’ve sort of written something relatively timeless because people are dumb.

One of the things I wonder about is why more CTOs, CIOs, and so forth aren’t being taken to court, followed by reporters, and in general held freaking responsible for their companies having lousy security. Yes there’s all sorts of shielding from accountability, but you think we’d see some effort, but I think one thing protecting them is that the company is seen mostly as a victim.

I’d argue that’s technically right, the companies were attacked by some external force. But treating companies as equivalent of people ignores their responsibilities. People, individual moral agents, can be victims, but corporations are not people and not moral agents, and treating them as victims like people lets them out of responsibilities. Sorry, Mitt Romney.

Think about a person who is a victim of a crime. Though people often try to blame victims, those blamers are usually both wrong and assholes (and sometimes justifying their own crimes). A person who is victim of a crime is a victim in that someone else chose to behave criminally.. Even if said victim enhanced their own danger it doesn’t remove the culpability of the criminal, who violated social and legal norms that people are expected to follow.

When I watch people shrug as corporation after corporation has customer records placed on the dark web, I see comments about how crappy their security is, but it doesn’t seem particularly judgmental. This impresses me as an echo of the don’t-blame-the-victim mentality.

But corporations are groups of people – organizations. That organization makes certain agreements and promises in order to exist. Security of data is, obviously, part of them. If one’s data is breached, despite the criminals actions, you also take responsibility as you are responsible. If you’re leadership, you should be on the line because you made a promise that this probably won’t happen.

Organizations are about promises and responsibility. Screw that up, and no matter why, someone has to pay as your failure hurt the organization and the people involved. You don’t have to restrain yourself on going after the people who did the actual crime, but corporations have made promises. If you can’t keep them, you’ve got a problem.

In fact, I’d say a corporation that suffers a data breach or similar failure must be investigated to see if it violated social norms. If the corporation made guarantees it could not and did not keep, if good faith effort was not made, the corporation was responsible. There is a failure of the company that echoes the action of the criminal, it too violated norms.

Of course we all know that if we at all ask this we’ll find a lot of corporations have done terrible at security. It’s all cost cutting, half-assed integration, and big bonuses. A lot of companies, if they were really investigated for security problems, would be locked down and sold off for being terrible.

(And yes, I work in Healthcare, which has insanely strict rules, but everyone should for everything, and we remember that these rules protect people.)

We don’t need to act like corporations are victims like people. If they can’t keep their promises, if security violations reveal they’ve done a poor job of protecting people, they’re part of the problem. Some of them should pay. Some shouldn’t exist.

Steven Savage

www.StevenSavage.com

www.InformoTron.com

#security #it #tech security #responsibility #corporations

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the-firebird69 · 1 year ago

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There's other things happening these people are pushing our son around a lot lately and it's getting ridiculous it says I can't really do anything back but I like to pull some of their heads off and people are getting very angry at these turds they're nasty and they keep on bothering him the point where he wants to explode on them and they want it and they say it's a threat and what he says is you're the one sitting up in prison and you're getting burned so check out what you're threatening had to start looking and said a lot of these people don't come back from there and then they said this you say it's a threat I'm saying by doing it you're kind of threatening yourself and they say okay and sort of figured out what's going on because nobody's applied controls they're just going to hog wild on these and threatening too and really they should figure it out by now cuz they don't and they're terrible and we need to do stuff that brings us to right now they're harassing our son right now and we need to stop them. That are pivotal several things are going on today and it will do some damage to them and they will probably let go a little bit.

-they're holding him in a star configuration and people know what that's for and they were doing it at O'Connor and Thomas O'Connor said it's these idiots and from southwestern and had me build the place in a very arrogant with me and are evil and they're mean and stupid and it's draining other people is what it means, they're supposed to be draining him and really the draining his personage and we're getting bigger and they're stupid. They know how it's supposed to work and then see that it's failing and they can't figure it out and it won't stop. And our son says why other people figured it out tons of them and they're killing you and a big groups too and you just won't stop so you're going to die and that's it you created dead end for yourself and it's true they will get around to doing you in. Probably within the month or two and that's it your lights out because of being very stupid and we are going to attack them and we know the motives and we know the motif and we've been freeing people cuz this dumb triangle s***. I'm going to start hitting them now but a lot of people have recognized that it's a problem all over the place too. And they are going after them there's several actions that are directed at them one of them is by aircraft carrier and there's about three million of those that's a huge group that can roll up on you and take some quite a spot to fit them and they are going to attacking this assholes areas. New Zealand is one of them and they're bombarding them all day long and with big stuff some carriers are big and the Jets are big and they put huge bombs on and it burns the place to the ground and they don't seem to want to stop being assholes and the people controlling a lot of those aircraft carriers are Tommy Allen. And they are pursuing them now and they're sending out different units of the aircraft carrier group to go after them and on different islands and different areas one area is it going to start striking and heavily is Northwest California and with tons of firepower and they're going to lunch continuous attacks and that's why you see him in the grapes that's because he found them and it's going on real soon and Tommy Allen seems so Danny boy hey gets trapped in the LA kinda shortly and it is about this attack and it is going to be during the invasion Los Angeles movie with the blaa aliens and that's coming up because they figured out the Lost Los Angeles and making miracles out there having a tough time but they have a foothold and they're pouring in this morning and they are keeping territory and they're coming from the south and a lot of corks were down there and they're telling you to screw and to stay there. And they're moving out

There's more but we're going to publish

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera

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alyjojo · 8 months ago

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Love Reading 💖 - March 2024 - Leo

Singles:

Who is Coming In: The Lovers & 5 Swords

Regarding: The Fool

Long-Term Potential: 4 Wands

Welp, you may not like it initially with 5 Swords, but this person is probably the one 💚 You or they could’ve been really snide, maybe you see them that way. Arrogant, condescending, a know it all. Or they just have plenty of options and make that clear, you’re nothing special so have a seat. That’s how you take it anyway, could also be your energy and this person doesn’t like you, initially. One of you thinks the other is an asshole 😆 But…things change apparently. It could be you’ve been dating this person loosely, and you’ve both been seeing other people, it’s not that serious. Or one person has and the other person flips out about it. The one with options is considered “mean” to the other person. But, The Fool. You & they are going to rush right into a new beginning together, take the next big leap, really give it a chance. This person thrives off of sudden impulse decisions, maybe you do too. Long term…4 Wands. Living together, getting engaged, taking very serious steps towards a higher level of commitment. So it has a rocky start, that doesn’t seem to matter in the long run.

Messages:

- All About YOU 🥰

- Adrenaline Junkie

ENGAGEMENT RING 💍

- Higher Commitment

- Eternity

- Partnership & Union

- Completion

“Om Sweet Om”

Signs you may be dealing with:

Heavy 🌬️ air & Aquarius, Gemini, Libra, Aries

Couples:

Them: Temperance, 7 Cups, Judgement

Regarding: 2 Wands rev

I just heard “I don’t appreciate it.” over and over while laying out the oracles and messages for this person. They’re irritated with you, whatever you’re doing or have done. 4 Cups is clarified by 9 Swords, and I don’t get this person being stressed out, upset or worried, but more like that’s what you wanted. Baiting someone? That’s what they don’t appreciate. Temperance & their Oracle show they’re actually quite calm, it’s a mature energy of waiting around on you to do something because…you did this. In their opinion, and I heard “good job” which I can’t tell if that’s sarcastic, probably. They don’t know what to say is probably the best message to come out, they don’t know how to judge the situation either, or whether they should even bother trying to do this again. If anything, they’re bewildered by your actions, and trying to remain patient…but 4 Cups is only so patient. They don’t want to even care, they’re not pressed, and they won’t bother you…or make a move if that’s a question. Opposites came out for signs, Twin Flame came out for them, could be, or again this card shows opposites. They can’t understand you because they’re nothing like you, and they try to be patient with it but, they’re not going to sit here worried about what you’re doing or not doing, Devil on the bottom. Or if you’re stressed, again I heard “you did this” so idk what you did but they’re unapologetic. If it’s a problem, it’s you that’s having it, and they don’t know what to do anymore than you do. They’re annoyed by the stress though, or your stress specifically.

Messages:

- I just don’t know what to say.

- Shy 🙈

TWIN FLAMES 🔥

- Yin/Yang & Balance

- Union & Duality

- Complement

- Polar Opposites

“Raise the vibe, one breath at a time.”

You: 5 Pentacles rev, 8 Swords, 2 Pentacles, 5 Cups

Regarding: The Hierophant

I’m getting specific situations for you.

1. You may have started a new job that has way more status, makes way more money…and takes a lot of work too. It’s harder, more pressure, and more of a demand on your time.

2. You may have been doing “the right thing” for some time, something like saving money with 5 Pentacles rev. Paying off debt, digging yourself out of a financial hole that already existed…and now you have a lump sum and you’re trying to spend it all on something else.

3. Messing around with other lovers in a marriage/commitment, or something lusty & toxic for this other person. It wasn’t talked about, yet Paradise is your Oracle, which can show honeymoon phase with a new person you’re keeping quiet. You could’ve gotten involved again very quickly, and maybe cheated - that’s why. I assume that with sus messages, The Devil & Ace of Wands at the bottom.

Either way, your aim is to be happy, you don’t like being around the house much. Maybe you have been for long enough in your mind, that’s how you’ve saved money or paid off debts, now you’re ready to go in another direction and your person is like…wtf? I heard you’re “on” something? Could be. They don’t like that either. I do see you’re changing but I also see this person looking at you like the decisions you’re making are toxic. Messages kinda agree so I have to mention it. Doesn’t have to be the worst story, but it’s like there’s a “right” way of doing something and then there’s whatever you’re doing.

Messages:

- Unrealistic Expectations

- Red Flag 🚩

PARADISE 🏝️

- Happiness & Joy

- Playfulness

- Enjoying Each Other

- Honeymoon Phase

“It’s better than sitting around doing nothing.”

Mutual: 3 Pentacles, Knight of Pentacles rev, Justice

Regarding: King of Cups

I assume this is your person, could be both of you holding back your feelings in the name of “being mature”, but not expressing them isn’t helpful either, if anyone wants clarity. This person was working with you regularly, trying to give you what you want or need, and then everything just stopped, that’s stopped. Stopped putting in effort, stopped…messing around? Could be that. If you’re blowing off work, your partner is not amused and not sorry for whatever consequences you’re getting, possible regrets. Someone could be doing something sus at work, especially if another person is involved - that’s probably at work. Or while the other person is at work. That’s not for everyone. It could be there’s just no progress between the two of you, your person isn’t putting work into the connection unless you do and you’re over here with The Devil and Ace of Wands, not doing “your part” either. If you’re reminiscing about someone you left behind, they love you, but they’re not doing anything to fix anything, that’s on you. For most both of you feel like not putting in any effort towards the other person is the right thing, and if they’re not and you’re not, let’s call the whole thing off.

PS: I had this all cleaned up, humming along to this song I think I’ve heard once ever, on the radio. Didn’t think anything of it. Spirit is like THE SONG 👏 POSSSSST IT 👏. And I’m just like…why? Oh. *knock knock* hello. You could be kind of airheaded to/with this person (girl me too 24/7). Or you’re high. Someone is. That could be part of the problem.

CAMERA 📷

- Reminiscing

- Making Memories

- Learn From the Past

- Perception

“Zen as Fuck 😌”

Signs you may be dealing with:

Heavy Scorpio, Taurus, Virgo, Cancer & Capricorn

#Leo #love tarot reading #march 2024 #singles #couples #tarot #tarotblr #Spotify

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rubyreduji · 2 years ago

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My Heart Has Gone To You | 06

pairing: lee jihoon x f!reader ch notes: a bit of fluff between friends, heavy angst lol, protective!minghao, use of bunny as nickname (like once), lots of plot, asshole!jihoon w.c.: 6.7k a/n: i actually did so much calculated for the time frame to see when the right place to put jihoon's birthday in and i made a spreadsheet calendar and everything

< prev | m.list | next >

You’ve been so busy lately that you unfortunately haven’t had time to confess to Jihoon. With the winter season coming up you’ve been swamped at your photography agency with getting the winter fashion line photoshoots finished up. You’ve also been picking up more shifts at the restaurant due to being short staffed. That, on top of your classes, the newspaper, theatre, and the Fine Arts Showcase, you haven’t had much time to think about Jihoon and your feelings.

Sana and Nayeon (who was on the phone with Sana when you told her your feelings for Jihoon) helped you plan out the perfect way to confess to him but you just haven’t been able to put it into action yet. That doesn’t mean you don’t still see Jihoon, you just don’t have time to do something special yet. Most of your time together is spent either over video call or in the dining hall for a little bit before one of you is whisked away again.

On top of your own hectic schedule, Jihoon has been cooped up in his studio even more lately. He’s been working on something but you’re not quite sure what it is.

Normally you’d go over to his studio and pull him out for some time together, or would work on your own projects in his studio, but you haven’t even been able to do that. You’ve been too busy working on the finishing touches of the costumes for the fall play and finishing up your portfolio for the Fine Arts Showcase that you find even an hour to yourself a lifeline.

You’re grateful that after this weekend the theatre department won’t need you unless there’s a giant emergency, and next week is the deadline for your portfolio so you won’t have to worry about that anymore either. You’ll still have the newspaper and your jobs to focus on but your photography agency should also be calming down as the Holiday season approaches with most of the seasonal photoshoots already done ahead of time.

“Y/N! Over here!” You spin around to see Soonyoung and Chan waving at you. You job over to the two boys and they grin at you. The two dance majors are helping you with the finishing touches of your portfolio.

“How are you Y/Nie?” Soonyoung pulls you into a hug that you happily reciprocate.

“Busy,” you laugh a bit. “But you two are doing me a big favor so I can not thank you enough. I promise I will repay you guys for your time.”

“No worries noona! We’re friends and this is important to you, so don’t think you have to do anything for us,” the younger boy tells you.

With that you and the boys start on the photoshoot. You’re glad that the two are easy to work with and look great on camera as well. You carefully snap photos of them as they move their bodies around in elaborate dance moves.

It takes a shorter amount of time than you planned out so you offer to get coffee with them as a thanks. Soonyoung and Chan refuse your payment but do agree to join you for coffee. That is until Chan is called away on an emergency from Hansol. He didn’t say much more about it but he sounded rushed when he left, leaving you and Soonyoung alone.

“So really how have you been? Other than being busy?”

“Honestly? I’ve been good. I like being busy and it’s the time of the year where everything is starting to come together which leaves a very satisfactory feeling,” you explain. “Last year I was so stressed around this time of the year, but I’ve got a good handle on things. I think that’s because I’ve got this portfolio going the way I want to.”

Soonyoung nods along as you talk. That’s something you like about him, he’s always so engaged in whatever his friends have to say. He’s one of the best conversationalists in your friend group and you enjoy hearing what he has to say as well, which leads you to ask what his plan for the Fine Arts Showcase is.

“Hao, Jun, Chan, and I have been choreographing a song together. We’re actually singing it as well. Chan, Jihoon, and Bumzu wrote it together. Jihoon has been working on composing it for us,” Soonyoung tells you. You think that must be the project he’s been working on.

You’ve never officially met Bumzu but you know he’s the man who works with Jihoon on most of the songs he composes. He’s older and out of college and Jihoon has a confirmed seat at the entertainment company Bumzu works at when he graduates.

“How is Jihoon?” You ask out of curiosity. You still talk to him, but you know Soonyoung lives with him and has a better chance of catching him at a free moment than you do.

“He’s…stressed. He’s been holing himself up in his studio even more it seems. I think that the Fine Arts Showcase is coming up too soon for his liking.”

Jihoon is always busy around this time. He’s often providing his help with the other music majors’ Showcase projects. As a music composer, singer, and songwriter many people go to him for help. He helps them as well as his own songs.

Every year for the winter and spring Showcase Jihoon sings a song he writes and produces himself. The past two years his songs have been titled “Simple”, “Pinwheel”, “Hug”, and “Second Life”. All of his past songs have been on the slower side with deeper lyrics and you wonder if he’ll take the same route this year.

“How are you guys?”

Soonyoung’s voice startles you out of your thoughts. “Pardon?”

“You and Jihoon, how are you guys? I know you haven’t been able to see much of each other lately.”

“We’re okay, I get we’re both swamped with work right now. I’m just hoping things will get better after the Showcase and I’ll be able to see more of him,” you answer.

“He does miss you. Maybe you should stop by the apartment at some point.”

“Yeah I might just do that, thanks Soonyoung.”

At the time you thought Soonyoung’s suggestion was a great idea, and you still do, but you yourself can’t seem to find time in your own schedule to carry it out. You’re on call the whole weekend for the fall play because not only did a costume go missing but another got ripped and you had to help pin another because the understudy had to go on instead.

After the weekend you’re about to go to Jihoon’s apartment when you get a text from your professor asking you to come in to look over your portfolio and help out with other things for the Showcase. You obviously agree and start to make your way over to the digital media building.

The next day you’re called away on newspaper business and the day after that you have to help Sana with studying for a history exam.

It’s not until Thursday that you can even think about Jihoon. You shoot him a quick text and you’re surprised to get a response back so quickly.

You: hey you! just checking in, miss you lots ji

Hoonie <3: Hey baby, I was just thinking about you too. I miss you so much.

You: are you free to meet up sometime this week? i have something important to tell you

Hoonie <3: Bunny I wish I did, but I don’t think I can. Next week I promise. Wanna meet Wednesday at 2?

You: that sounds perfect hoonie, but what about saturday?

Hoonie <3: What’s on Saturday?

You: are you silly ji? it’s your birthday!

Hoonie <3: Oh? Is it that time already? Well don’t worry about it baby, we can make it up when I’m not as busy. Sounds good?

You: yea sounds good. talk to you later?

Hoonie <3: Of course <3

You: <3

You’re a bit surprised that Jihoon forgot his own birthday, especially because you and him have a whole birthday tradition you guys follow. You’re also a little upset that you can’t confess to Jihoon until next week but you know that you can wait. You’ve been this way for three years, a few more days won’t hurt you guys.

You spend your newly found free time…still being busy. Though this time it’s a good kind of busy. You’re still studying and working but you get to spend a lot more time with your friends. You see the girls and Soonyoung and Minghao a couple times throughout the weekend and even go out to a big dinner with a majority of the group. Jihoon is still hiding away in his studio and his texts back to you come few and far between, always quick and short which has you a little antsy, but Jihoon promised to see you this week.

You’re laying in bed editing a photo for the newspaper when Sana comes bursting into the room, once again on the phone with Nayeon. “So what’s the plan?”

“What plan?”

“You’re going to see Jihoon tomorrow!” Nayeon’s voice comes flowing out from Sana’s phone.

“Exactly! What’s the big confession gonna be like? Are we still doing the original plan?” Sana forces you to scoot over so she can squeeze in next to you on the bed.

“I think we’re just going to get lunch or go for a walk or something like that. I don’t want to do something too big, it doesn’t feel right. I’m just gonna lay all of my feelings out for him, you know,” you tell your friends.

“It’s going to be so much better seeing you two together as an actual couple,” Sana sighs dreamily and rests her head down onto your shoulder.

“Yeah, it really will be.”

The next day comes and you’re starting to get a little nervous. There’s no reason for you to be, it’s Jihoon of course he loves you back, but you’re still a little worked up about it all. Sana made you breakfast to help calm your nerves and now you’re on your way to the boys’ apartment.

You hum to yourself as you climb up the stairs to the apartment. You shoot Jihoon a text that you’re there and wait by their front door. You wait for a few minutes before you try knocking. Nobody answers again and you huff.

You: hoonie where are you? im outside your apartment

You stand outside the apartment for around ten more minutes before you realize Jihoon isn’t going to come. Your heart drops at that fact a bit. Jihoon has never stood you up before. You wonder if he’s okay because he is the one who made the plans so why would he bail on them unless something bad happened.

“Y/N?” You turn around at your name and you half expect to see Jihoon but when you turn around it’s Jun and Minghao, the former addressing you. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, uhm, I was supposed to meet Jihoon. Do you know where he is?” You ask hopefully.

Jun frowns at that. “He texted the groupchat saying he had to get out of the apartment for a little while and to not expect him home soon.”

“Oh no, is he okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. He mentioned something about meeting up with Bumzu. Soonyoung has been bothering him about getting out of the apartment and he had the free time to do that today.”

Your heart sinks even more. Did he really forget you guys were meeting up today? His schedule was free today because he was supposed to use that time to see you.

“Y/N?” Minghao approaches you and places a soft hand on your arm. “Are you okay? You’re looking a little unwell.”

“I’m uh, not okay…,” you whisper. You considered lying but you don’t have it in you to put on a fake act. “I was supposed to tell him today and he didn’t even remember we’re supposed to meet.”

“Oh Y/N,” Minghao’s voice is gentle. “I’m so sorry. There must have been a mix up.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I think I’m going to head home though.” With that you gently push past Minghao and Jun and make your way back downstairs and start the trek back home. Your heart feels heavy and tears brim in your eyes.

You know that you’re being over dramatic but it still hurts, especially after not properly seeing Jihoon for over two weeks now. You admit that is partly your fault, but even if you were free, Jihoon would still have been busy. Not to mention the fact you have had nearly no contact with him lately as he keeps brushing off your texts.

When you walk into your apartment Sana and Nayeon are running out of Sana’s room and over to you. “That was quick, how did it go?” It’s your roommate who asks this.

“He wasn’t home. He forgot.”

“HE WHAT?! I’m going to kill him,” Sana growls.

“That’s so out of character? What is wrong with him?” Nayeon looks taken aback as well as a bit angry.

“Guys, it’s fine.” You try to smile at your friend but it comes out weakly. “It’s okay, he’s been busy so it must have slipped his mind. I’ll see him this weekend at the art Showcase.”

“...Fine, but only because I respect your wishes,” Sana relents.

Nayeon pulls you into her arms and Sana joins in. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out today, Y/N.”

“Yeah…me too.”

By the time Friday hits everyone in the Fine Arts department is wired up and anxious about the Showcase. You yourself are actually calm as this year you’re fully prepared and satisfied with your submission.

The way the Showcase works is there are certain exhibits that are set up and will be up all weekend; arts like photography and painting and all of the more tangible arts. Then over the course of the weekend the performing arts students will have time slots for their pieces.

You’re required to pick a time slot to be with your portfolio so that people walking by can meet you and ask you questions or give you compliments over your photos. You pick Friday night because all of your friends in the performing arts program perform Saturday and you don’t want to spend your Sunday stuck in the photography exhibit.

Friday comes and you get dressed up in the nicest clothes you own and walk over to the where the photography exhibit has been put up. You haven’t seen your pieces fully all together yet but your professor had expressed his delight of the arrangement to you so you aren’t worried. He claims you’re his star student and you have one of the biggest pieces so your art is placed in the center of the whole exhibit as the main piece.

The building where the photography exhibition is being held is in a two story building with large floor to ceiling windows that make up the walls, and white interior to give the building a modern look. The bottom floor is for concessions and entry fees so you have to go up to the second floor to see all of the actual art pieces.

When you walk into the building it’s fairly empty, bar a few other photography students and your professor. Your professor is currently conversing with another student on the bottom level so you instead go off to find your own pieces. It’s not hard, for when you make it to the second floor they’re the first thing that hits your eyes. Your pieces sit on a large white wall that is in the center of the room. Your face flushes a bit, flustered by the attention your photos will receive as everyone will have to look at them just to get to the other pieces.

You agree with your professor though, that the arrangement is perfect. It captures exactly the vibe you were trying to create. You walk over to the side of the wall where your name is printed out under the title of The Study of the Individual Person. You ignore the small blurb you had to write over the process and composition of your portfolio, knowing you’ll get even more embarrassed when you read it.

“Y/N! I thought that was you I saw walk in. Beautiful isn’t it? You have produced marvelous work once again.” Your professor is walking up to you and you turn to him and smile.

“Thank you sir, I’m very proud of this year’s collection.”

“And you should be. I just wanted to congratulate you on an amazing portfolio and to tell you the house is opening up in a few minutes here. Enjoy yourself Y/N, this weekend is for you.” With that your professor walks off again, leaving you with a nice warm feeling inside.

As he said the doors open in the next few minutes but people don’t start trickling in until about thirty minutes after the doors open. The way the university held the Showcase is that each exhibit cost a certain amount of tickets to get into. They also allow day passes or weekend passes so you have all access to every exhibit and performance. You get into all of the art exhibits for free but you have to pay to get into the performances because you’re not in the performing arts program.

Once the exhibit finally starts to pick up traction you’re busy all night. Everyone seems to have something to say to you and you’re happy to talk to them about it.

Placed on the wall are twenty-two photos, each with a different subject. You have enlisted your friends’ help for your portfolio this year, wondering how many words a picture really can tell. You told them to dress up in an outfit that represents them and to give you an activity that they liked to do. You then took pictures of them doing said activity in said outfit and tried to capture their personalities well. You wanted to show how each person is different and focus on the aspect that made your friends themselves.

You think your personal favorite photo is of Minghao, dressed up in a flowy white top and sleek black pants as he holds a paintbrush up to a half finished painting. The shirt is crisp white despite the area around him covered in paint, a blue smudge even adorning his cheek. His face is stoic as his eyes peek up over the tops of his glasses.

The photo you think does the best at capturing a personality though, is Soonyoung’s. The photo is cropped to see only the top half of his body. He’s wearing a tiger patterned button up shirt that hangs loose around him as his body is twisted into some kind of complex choreography. A wide smile adorns his face, his eyes squinting together and his teeth on full display. The black and white checkered tile background is blurred out a bit so you focus directly on Soonyoung and his movements.

You love every single photo of your friends though. You think it’s special to have captured them doing something they love. The final picture to finish off the whole spread is a self portrait. You set up an arrangement of pieces of newspaper and flowers on a hardwood floor and snapped the photo of yourself sitting in between all of it through a mirror. You cropped the photo down to mainly focus on the camera resting against your eye but the other aspects of our being are still visible.

“Y/N!” You look over at the stairs of the building and see your friends climbing up them. “This is amazing!”

“Ooh everyone, look at my photo!”

“I’m obviously the best one up here.”

“Is that Jeonghan playing board games? He’s only good at them because he cheats!”

“Oh thank god you edited out my pimples.”

You laugh as you hear your friends converse about the photos they modeled for. Your heart feels full as your friends come by to give you hugs and compliment you on your beautiful spread. They continue to look through all of your photos before everyone breaks off into groups to look at the other students, promising they’ll be back soon.

“Why is he missing?” Everyone breaks off into groups, besides Minghao.

“Who’s missing?” You look at the tall boy.

“Jihoon. Why is he missing from here,” he points to the photo wall, “and from here.” He motions around the whole building. “Jihoon isn't in your portfolio or here with the rest of us coming to support your work.”

Ever since Jihoon stood you up a few days ago Minghao has been holding a grudge against the older boy. He keeps pointing out how Jihoon has no reason to be ignoring you and he could at least text you back. He’s even tried to tell you that maybe Jihoon isn’t worth breaking your own heart over but you ignore him every time he brings it up because he’s the one who convinced you you’re in love with him to begin with.

“I just didn’t want to bother him. He’s so busy all the time and our schedules never lined up so I didn’t want to bother him with my project when I already had twenty-one other subjects, not including myself.” You shrug it off. You didn’t see it as a problem when you first made the decision not to include Jihoon, and you don’t see it as a problem now. “As for why he’s not here right now…I honestly don’t know Minghao.”

“Y/N…why isn’t your best friend here to support you? I don’t care how busy he is doing what, he should be here for you. It’s not fair to you. Even when you were up to your knees with work, you made time to see your friends. You even still check up on Jihoon who can’t even seem to remember how to text you back.”

“Hao please…I really don’t want to think about it.”

“Fine, I’ll drop it for now, but just think about it, okay?”

You can only nod at him, worried that his words might have some weight to them.

The rest of the night goes without a hitch but also without a Jihoon. After the exhibit closes for the night your friends are taking you out for a late dinner but you can’t get your mind off of your short best friend.

Exactly why wasn’t he there tonight?

The question starts to dig under your skin until you’re not sure if you’re angry or sad or just disappointed. You chalk it up to being all three. You worked hard as hell on your portfolio and Jihoon knew that because everytime you guys would talk recently you would bring it up. He had no reason to not be there tonight unless he was literally on his deathbed. Now with the negative thoughts floating around in your brain you can’t enjoy your night which upsets you even more as you go to bed with a frown on your face.

The next day you’re up bright and early to start your day. The first performance you want to catch is at 11:00am and you don’t want to miss it. The events of last night still sting a bit but you try to shove those feelings away so you can focus on supporting your friends today.

You and Sana leave your apartment at 10:15 so you guys can get to the ampitheatre early and get good seats. You pay for your day pass and you and Sana find seats towards the front but not too close. You and Sana talk to fill the time when you catch a familiar figure out of the corner of your eye. You turn your head to confirm and sure enough, a few rows away Jihoon sits by himself. From an initial glance it looks like he has a scowl on his face but you look closer and realize it’s his expression for when he’s thinking hard. You’re about to call for him but the speakers come to life and a familiar voice booms over it.

“Ladies and gentlemen, they call us Booseoksoon! Let’s go!”

Your jaw drops open as the music and singing starts on stage. You were aware that Seungkwan and Seokmin would be performing together but you didn’t realize that Soonyoung would also be performing with them. All thoughts of Jihoon are erased as you watch in amazement as your friends continue on with their performance.

You think how you will never not be amazed by Seungkwan’s voice. You also are pleasantly surprised by how well the two vocalists dance, enough to keep up with the dance major. The song is over much too soon for your liking but it’s only the first of a set of the vocal emphasis majors.

The next performance of your friends that takes you by surprise is Joshua and Hansol performing a song titled “2 Minus 1”. Joshua’s range is insane and you love the deep, cool tone that Hansol has. You enjoy even more performances from Nayeon (her song called “Love Countdown”), Jihyo (the jazz version of her song “TT”), and Mingyu and Wonwoo (a collaborative song titled “Bittersweet”). Before you know it the morning show is over and everyone starts to file out of the stadium.

When you stand you suddenly remember Jihoon but when you look for him he’s already gone. You internally groan and wonder why it’s so hard to get a hold of your best friend these days. You can’t think about it for long though because the self proclaimed Bookseoksoon is bounding up to you to collect their praise.

The rest of the afternoon is filled with looking at some of the other exhibits as you wait for the evening show. You, Sana, and a few others even stop to get lunch together before continuing browsing all of the art.

When the evening show comes around you and Sana end up sitting next to Dahyun, Seungkwan, and Hansol. Seungkwan is talking animatedly to the other boy who is just nodding along. You think they’re so cute.

Soon the performances are starting and you’re settling into your seat to enjoy them. You love watching as the dancers flow along the stage in mesmerizing movements but you’re not fully entranced until four figures in white walk onto the stage and lay on the ground. You recognize them as Jun, Soonyoung, Minghao, and Chan.

The music starts up and soon their bodies are moving together, their voices flowing through the theater. You swear in that moment you fall in love with all of them as they dance in sync on the stage. You love the way their voices sound and how their movements match the vibe perfectly. Soonyoung’s choreography always leaves you speechless.

When they finish the theater erupts in applause and you and your three friends give them a standing ovation, along with many other people in the stadium. The boys bow before walking off stage.

The rest of the performances go by and you love watching your friends on stage doing what they love. It then gets to the last performance and your breath hitches when you see who it is.

Standing in the middle of the stage in all black with a red guitar strapped to his body is Lee Jihoon. The music starts up and you automatically recognize it as the song he showed you what felt like years ago but was really only a few weeks.

The ballad-like music is soothing to the ears and like the songs he’s sang in the past everyone expects something slower but then the drums kick in and everyone is screaming at the change in pace. Your heart hammers in your chest as you hear Jihoon sing out the words he once told you were meant for you.

Everyone in the audience is going crazy but you can’t focus on them. Your eyes are glued to your best friend as he sings his heart out.

“She’s got the ruby~” Jihoon finishes and everyone in the audience jumps up to applaud. You can hear random girls as their high pitched screams ring in your ears.

You find yourself and your friends in the backstage area where a bunch of other people are waiting. Seungkwan is shoving his way through the crowds so you can meet your friends. You run into the dance majors first who have already changed out of their white outfits.

“Soonyoung! That was stunning!” You run up to him and wrap your arms around him. You pull back to hug the other boys as well as Soonyoung laughs cheerfully at the compliment.

“Hey Y/N let’s go find Jihoon!” Soonyoung is grabbing your hand and tugging you off with. You’re still half holding onto Minghao who also gets dragged along as with. Soonyoung doesn’t slow down until his best friend comes into sight. “There he is! Oh…”

You look up to see what’s caused Soonyoung’s change in demeanor. In front of you a flock of girls surround Jihoon. You’re surprised he’s even entertaining them as you know he typically doesn’t have any interest in fan girls or really any girl who he doesn’t consider a friend. One girl is hanging off his arm and giggling as he says something to her, a blush spread across his face and ears. Your face falls at the scene. Since when does he get flustered by other girls he’s never met before.

“Let’s uh, go say hi,” Soonyoung says in a small voice. He still has a grip on your arm so you’re forced to follow him as he slowly makes his way up to Jihoon who still hasn’t noticed the presence of his friends.

“So Jihoonie~ was there anyone that song was meant for?” The girl on his arm asks. Your blood boils at hearing another girl call him Jihoonie but then your heart drops when you hear Jihoon’s response.

“I mean not particularly.” He reaches up to rub at his neck awkwardly but all of the girls giggle. “I’m not really seeing anyone right now, so…”

He’s such a liar. He didn’t even berate the girl for calling him Jihoonie.

Despite your heart clenching in your chest you break your arm away from Soonyoung. You hear him call after you but you keep tearing through the crowd. You don’t know why you’re so upset. You don’t know the whole situation and it’s not like you and Jihoon are even together. That doesn’t stop you from storming all the way across campus to your apartment so you can cry yourself to sleep.

“Okay Jihoon is officially on my shit list.” Minghao’s cup slams onto the table next to you, a few drops of his drink spraying over the table as he does.

You are at lunch with Sana, Nayeon, and Minghao on Sunday to try and take your mind off Jihoon but it’s evident Minghao has other plans.

Sana snorts, “I mean he’s been on my shit list for a while.”

“Oh me too, but I found out why he wasn’t at Y/N’s photography exhibit on Friday.”

One thing you hate about Minghao is how he’s friends with Jun. You don’t really, obviously, but Jun tells him everything and that includes updates on Jihoon. A part of you doesn’t want to hear it knowing it will just break your heart even more.

“Well fucking spill it!” It doesn’t seem like Sana, Nayeon, and Minghao are going to give you a chance to choose if you want to hear it or not.

Minghao tells you guys how Jihoon was at a music event with Bumzu doing some networking for “Woozi”, the name he used for his music. There were apparently lots of famous K-Pop artists and record labels and entertainment companies there. Jun had told Minghao how he overheard Jihoon telling Soonyoung about it. Jun also heard Jihoon say the whole reason he went to the event was because he is going to be working with Bumzu on a project for some new K-Pop group that had just debuted.

“He should have at least told us, we’re his friends,” Nayeon frowns.

“What he could have done was come to the photography exhibit,” Minghao says. “He’s twenty-one and already working himself into his grave. He has time to build his music career, when will he have time to support Y/N like this again? This meant a lot to her and he didn’t even care.”

“I mean…it does prove that if he can leave his studio for this event, he can leave it to at least see his friends once in a while, but he doesn’t even make the effort. All he does is focus on music and it’s honestly kinda unsettling to see. He didn’t even celebrate his birthday this year,” Sana says.

You tune your friends out as you get lost in your thoughts about Jihoon.

It seems that Jihoon is moving up in the music world. You’re happy for him, you really truly are, this is his dream. After you guys graduate next year he’ll be off to work at HYBE and he’ll make a name for himself in the K-Pop industry. He’d get busy with producing music for himself and others and he’ll rise in fame and meet new people and go to new places. He’s paving his way into a new world, and you’re afraid that in that new world there won’t be any room for you.

You encounter Jihoon by accident. You’re at his apartment (risky move) because Soonyoung had invited you over so you guys could discuss the photos you were taking for an article in the newspaper about the dance team. Soonyoung had told you that Jihoon wasn’t home and wasn’t going to be home until later so you felt comfortable going over.

(Soonyoung admitted to you that he and Jihoon had gotten into a fight so he was also trying to avoid Jihoon to the best extent.)

You guys were just wrapping up when Jihoon walked through the door. He looked equally as surprised to see you. He awkwardly shuffled around the front door until Soonyoung got up to “give you guys some space”.

Jihoon had moved over to where you were on the couch and sat down next to you which is where you guys are now. No one has said a word yet and you don’t understand why it’s so painfully awkward. This is your best friend, you should be able to talk to one another. You try to open your mouth to say something but nothing comes out so you just close it again.

Luckily Jihoon somehow is able to break the silence. “So uhm, what are you doing over?”

“Had to talk to Soonyoung about some photos,” you say, finding your voice.

“Oh.”

Before you guys fall back into silence you muster up all your courage to finally address the elephant in the room. “I think we need to talk.”

“Yeah…”

He doesn’t say more than that so you take the chance to say what you want to. You’ve rehearsed what you want to say a million times before but now that you’re put on the spot you struggle to get it all out.

“I’m so used to seeing you everyday I guess it’s been kinda throwing me off that we’ve both been so busy lately. We haven’t even been texting and…I guess I just miss you and how we used to be even though it was only like three weeks ago. I just want to see you and for you to not always be hiding in your studio.”

Jihoon lets out a long sigh and closes his eyes tightly as he rubs at his temples. “I know I’ve been busy but I’ve finally got a big break in my career and I had a lot on my plate with the Showcase so yes I have been distancing myself but it’s for good reason.”

“I know Hoonie, and I’m so happy for you, but I’m also worried. I don’t want you overworking yourself and getting sick or anything, you still need time to take care of yourself and take breaks.”

“Well not all of us have that luxury Y/N.” Jihoon’s tone is now bordering an annoyed tone but you know you have to keep pushing through. “What I do with my own personal time isn’t any of your concern.”

“Ji…don’t say that. We’re best friends. Of course it’s going to be my concern. Someone needs to be there for you.”

“I’m fine Y/N, I don’t need a babysitter, I’m twenty-one for goodness sake.”

“You didn’t even celebrate your birthday. I know you can take care of yourself but I just want to be there for you as well. I want to look after you.”

Jihoon stands up abruptly. “You’re not looking after me Y/N, you’re being annoying. I have a lot of work to do and maybe I’d have more free time if people weren’t bothering me all the fucking time.”

You flinch a bit at his words. Jihoon has never swore at you, not once.

“There are more things in life than just music Jihoon. What about your friends? What about me?”

“What about you? So that’s what this is about. Sorry I can’t give you attention twenty-four fucking seven. I do have a life outside of you, you know. I’m working on my career so I’m so sorry if I’ve been too busy to fuck you. Well it seems you’ve been doing just fine without me for the past three weeks so just go bother someone else. I don’t need you coming to bother me all the time when I have work to do. It's irritating to have you breathing down my goddamn neck all the time.”

“Stop it Jihoon. That’s not what this is about. And what do you mean I’ve been doing just fine without you? I’ve missed you so much it’s painful. Please just calm down and we can work it out together.”

Jihoon’s outburst has attracted Soonyoung to the living room again but he doesn’t seem to be done. “You’re so goddamn clingy Y/N, can you not listen? Just leave me be, I’m not in the mood to deal with you.”

“Jihoon…you don’t mean that.” Tears are starting to well up in your eyes. You just don’t understand. Why is he acting like this? Saying these things to you?

“Can you shut up! Just get the hell out of my apartment!” Jihoon is practically growling at this point and the tears have started to fall down your face.

“Jihoon, what is wrong with you dude?” Soonyoung finally pipes up.

“If you don’t leave Y/N, I will.” Jihoon ignores his roommate.

“Jihoon, please don’t do this.” You go to read for his hand, tears streaming down your face. “Just please don’t say that. Jihoon I love you, please don’t leave me. I need you.” You don’t mean for it to slip out but your brain and your heart have different ideas on a last ditch effort to get Jihoon to stay.

“Well I don’t need you.” Jihoon snatches his hand back and shoves past Soonyoung.

“Jihoon.” Soonyoung grabs onto Jihoon’s arm but the shorter boy looks up at his friend with a piercing glare.

“Don’t you start again Soonyoung, haven’t you already done enough.” With that he tugs his arm away and you hear the door of his studio slam shut.

You’re full on sobbing now, having a full breakdown. Soonyoung rushes over to you and gathers you up in his arms. You cry into his shoulder. You’re so confused about what just happened and everything hurts and you can’t breathe.

What are you going to do now?

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primofate · 3 years ago

Note

Hi there, can I request the boys seeing you got injured or being attacked, whichever is fine ^^

Hey anon! You didn’t specify how injured but I’ll just run with it hahaha :)

Shortfic

Scenario: You got injured Part 1

Part 2 with Zhongli

Part 3 with Xiao

Characters: gn! reader x Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo, Childe

Warnings: angst, injury, no character death though

Masterlist

https://primofate.tumblr.com/post/653296890583154688/masterlist-for-mobile-version-main-links

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https://ko-fi.com/primofate

Diluc

“Master Diluc, if I could just interrupt--” one of the caretakers in the winery walked up to his office and prepared for the assault of words that could be fired towards him, sure enough, Diluc interrupted. “What is it? I’m a little busy right now, make it quick,” he hadn’t turned his face to look at the grim expression weaving in and out through the caretaker. Hadn’t bothered to look up to check if there was anything amiss, but the caretaker continued quickly “It’s Y/N,” the caretaker had only paused for a moment but Diluc had already picked his head up at the mention of your name. It was here that he realises something must have gone wrong, the caretaker’s expression was not a pleasant one. He was up on his feet, eyes widening a fraction at the following words, “They came back to the mansion seconds ago and they’ve been injured past what Adelinde could fix so we called for a doctor—”

In Diluc’s hurry he had stumbled over his chair, it tripping behind him with a thud on the floor but he ignored it and fast runs towards your room. Dear Archons he should NOT have let you go on that commission by yourself. You could hold your own, yes, but things happened and he really should have thought that through first. He was berating himself for it as he swung the door open. “Y/N?!”

The urgency in his voice tells you that he perhaps had the wrong idea of what was happening, it was really just a gash on your leg, although it was bleeding profusely, the cut must have been deeper than you thought. The maid had already placed a tourniquet to stop and slow the bleeding. You tried not to show it in your face, not wanting to alarm your lover any further, but it. hurt. like. hell. “Diluc, I’m fine, it’s just a gash,”

The maid that was previously sitting on the chair next to your bed moves away, Diluc replacing her, his eyes didn’t tear away from the wound on your leg, his expression contorted to that of worry and nervousness, before finally turning to your face, reaching a hand out to cradle your cheek. “Stop lying. You’re pale, you’re sweating--” of course he sees through you, he knows the second you get upset, knows every crease on your forehead and every slight furrow of the brow. He had memorized every inch of his beautiful, beautiful treasure. “Your hands are trembling, you’ve lost too much blood, where’s the doctor?!” He grips your hand at the realization that you might actually be in a more dire situation than presented, and just on cue the doctor comes through the door, asking for some time alone with you to do his job.

Diluc paces outside the door, unable to stay in one place for long. He kept thinking about how frail you looked. How, if you were unlucky, it wouldn’t have just been your leg. He shook his head at the thought. He didn’t know how he was going to let you out of his sight from then on. He knew full well it would annoy you to have him following you around everywhere but.... How could he not after this?

The doctor emerged half an hour later and explained that you just needed a bit of rest and that, with a little healing magic, you didn’t need the stitches at all. “Don’t let them use that leg for a day and they should be fine, it’s nothing life-threatening but they did lose a lot of blood and is going to need time to recuperate. They’re asleep at the moment,”

Diluc takes note of everything and quietly slips into your room. They must have sedated you in the process and he sighs as he plops down on the chair that was still placed next to your bed. His eyes soften at the sight of you finally relaxed and less in pain, hand reaching out to brush off strands of stray hair that blocked his view of your face. “You’re the only one who can scare me this much,” he mutters under his breath, as if complaining and he swears that he sees a very small and light grin on your face, as if teasing him. He smiles a little, just happy that you’re stabilized and leans in to kiss your forehead, opting to stay by your side till you wake up.

----------

Kaeya

“What do you mean unconscious?”

“J-Just as we said, Captain. They were unconscious when we found them,” Kaeya sighs in slight exasperation. Normally he was a jolly camper but when the knight in front of him is unable to say how injured you are, Kaeya gets a little wordy. “I meant to say why were they unconscious? Were they hurt? Where are they now?”

Kaeya stands. He was in the middle of some Favonius paper work. “They were bleeding profusely from the head,” Kaeya stops as if lightning has struck him and stares pointedly at the knight. “These details should be said early on,” he thought that it had just been something less threatening. Perhaps you had somehow passed out, exhausted, on your bedroom floor. Or perhaps had just rolled from the bed and onto the floor. They said that they found you in the bedroom, and his blood froze when he realizes that someone went in there to attack you.

Kaeya doesn’t bother talking the other knight into giving better reports next time, he’d do that later. He could guess that you were probably taken into the Favonius infirmary. Sure enough, when he walks in there, face scrunched up into what could only be described as worry and anger mingling together, you were awake, head bandaged up and your eyes meet. His heart breaks at how you still smile at him despite the fact that he wasn’t there to protect you. He stands next to the infirmary bed and gingerly touches your cheek, peering into your eyes. “Y/N, what happened?” he asks, eyes scanning the bandages wrapped around you. “Who did this?” and there was that angry and cold undertone in his voice that you rarely heard, as if his cryo vision had taken over his whole being.

“I’m sorry, Kaeya, I-- I can’t quite remember,” You put a hand up to cover half of your eye, your head was still throbbing and in quick realization Kaeya eases up on you and gently pushes you on your back to rest. “It’s fine, sorry, I just--” he cuts his own speech off and takes a deep breath in. Focus on the good. He tells himself. “I’m glad you’re alright, take it easy, I’ll take care of things,” By that he means he might just slaughter whoever even had the guts to break into your house and attack you in the middle of the day. The break-in was reported by townspeople, and Kaeya was sure as hell he’d get every witness to describe that asshole’s face.

“You’re staying with me for the moment,” he decides quite quickly, and you had no qualms with that whatsoever. Hearing that you had no protest at all, he grins and leans down to capture your lips in a soft kiss, afraid to hurt you. “No complaints? Perhaps this was your grand scheme all along to come live with me,” You can’t help but chuckle at how quick he bounces back. “Maybe, honey. Maybe,”

----------

Albedo

“Ow--” the knife clatters to the floor, as blood starts to pool around your finger. Albedo spins around at the meek sound you make, ignoring the knife on the floor and strides over to you just as you’ve turned on the sink and started running water on the small cut on your finger.

“Let me see,” You turn to him, blinking. His face was blank. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking but he was staring straight at you. “Oh, don’t worry, it’s just a small cut,” but he doesn’t waver and glances at the water running over your finger. “Let me see,” he tries again, this time rather forceful. That got you to obey. Turning the faucet off and awkwardly offering your hand to him.

He receives it and cradles it in his as if it was porcelain, upturning your hand to look at the small cut on your pointer finger. It was tiny. Really nothing compared to wounds that a knight might sustain. Albedo sighs and looks up at you, “Don’t go anywhere,” before stalking off, coming back a few seconds later with a first aid kit. “...Al, it’s alright, it’s not a big deal,” Albedo would only let one person give him a nickname. You. No one else. Frankly he thought the nickname was weird but if it danced on your lips, he didn’t mind it at all.

“Y/N, you’re mistaken if you think I’m going to take this lightly,” he takes out some ointment and a small roll of bandage, starting with the ointment. “Everything and anything that hurts you is a significant thing,” his gaze darkens, as if glowering at that microscopic cut. “Miniscule or massive, it doesn’t make a difference to me,” he starts wrapping your finger, “if it taints your skin, I cannot help but feel--” he doesn’t know the right word, but you do, judging from how his hold on your wrist tightens.

A soft smile paints your features at how he was such a worry-wart. Sometimes he was so bad at navigating his own feelings but you could decipher them anyway, from his actions. You let him worry over you, and thank him once he’s done. He finishes his work by taking your hand, and pressing it to his lips, his eyes darting up to lock on yours. That made you blush every damn time. His green eyes were just so mesmerizing, and so was his heart.

----------

Childe

Dear mother of the Archons, perhaps whoever was responsible for your injuries had some type of death wish. Everyone should offer prayers for whoever had cut you up. Your arms and legs were littered with small scratches from trying to run away from the attackers, you thought going through the thick forest was a good idea. In essence, it had slowed the thieves down. They had managed to throw a fire bomb at you that severely burned your right hand, and the right side of your abdomen.

Perhaps it was thanks to adrenaline running through you that you had actually managed to make it to the gates of Liyue, just before the bridge, but you’d crumpled down right then and there. The Millelith guards didn’t recognize you, but the three Fatui agents walking on the bridge did. “Someone had better tell him,” The group of Fatuis scrambled nearer to you, one of them picking you up, but glancing at the other who had just spoken up. “I’m not doing that, you do it,” it was slightly comical, seeing them pass off the duty of who was supposed to report to Childe about it. “You know how he gets when it comes to them, I’m not doing--” then one of them finally gets their bearings together.

“Shut up, get them to the healer first,” The tallest one shoves the one carrying you, urging him to go fast and off he went. Now it was just two Fatui agents looking at each other. Two Fatui agents who decided that they would just face his wrath together. “Sir,” one of them starts as Childe turns around to look at them. He actually had no tasks today and was just about to go off to find you. “About Y/N...” Childe’s eyebrows shoot up, what in the world could these agents have to say about you? “We’ve sent them to the healers, they collapsed at the entrance of Liyue, it... doesn’t look good...”

All hell descends upon Childe’s demeanor and poise. His face darkens, his eyes burning holes through the two agents and his fists closed up on his side. His bow appears and hovers behind him, the only thing that shone through his dark person. “The two of you--” he starts, “are going to find out who did it. I’m expecting a report by nightfall,”

Childe himself shows up at the healers quarters, and was told of your condition. “Their hand is going to scar,” keeps reverberating in his head. Like the sound that he imagines the skulls of those who dared touch you crunching under his feet, over and over again. Childe actually winces when he sees you. Small bandages on your arms and legs from the scratches, your right hand wrapped up adequately and, he couldn’t see it now, but he was sure your abdomen was wrapped too.

You cracked an eye open, feeling another presence in the room. Childe immediately appears next to you, leaning over the bed and watching your expression. “...It hurts, doesn’t it?” he asks, tracing over your bandaged hand. You remained quiet for a moment before nodding your head slowly. Just remembering it caused a blinding pain in your mind’s eye. You’d been given drugs to ease the pain now, but there were still traces of it lingering on your skin. “How dare they,” both your eyes snapped open at Childe’s nearly contorted voice, shadowed and overpowered by rage.

You pick up your good hand and touch his arm with the tips of your fingers. You didn’t like it when he got like this. “Childe, it’s alright,” far from it, but it was the only reassurance you could offer. He catches your hand and brings it up to his face, pressing your hand to his cheek as if it was a lifeline. “It’s not. It’s not,” he repeats to himself, his anger also stemming from the fact that he wasn’t there to protect you. “They’ll regret even laying eyes on you,” You knew he wanted to go now, knew that he wanted to get to the bottom of it, but you yet again pull your hand away to grasp at his shirt, the fabric scrunching up under your hold. “...But stay with me for tonight? Please?”

That got him. He would never say no. His form relaxes and he leans in to kiss your lips, gentle yet with a hidden hunger in them. “Of course,” he simply says, as if his previous agenda forgotten.

But he would never forget. He would never forget for as long as he could see that scar.

Tomorrow, he would decimate each and every one of them.

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imayanderesimp · 3 years ago

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Tw:dubcon Tw:past noncon tw:past abuse tw:enji being a asshole tw:somnophilia

reader is implied to be female

felt like i should clarify this bc it just hit me puppygirl!reader isn’t an actual dog or a beastars type situation she’s like a human but with puppy dog ears and a tail.

MINORS BEWARE

pls pls put your age in your bio so i can tell your not i minor because i will block you if i can’t find any proof your an adult

Just imagine endeavor with a small little puppy girl like he’s this big 6ft figure and then you’ve got a little 4ft puppy girl next to him. The public would be all over it trying to get pictures of puppy girl reader and endeavor together. Of course enji and puppy!girls relationship wasn’t always this way…

Pre redemption enji : he treated puppygirl!reader so badly. He’d yell at her and pull on her little dog ears sentence her to her cage. Honestly if enji was really being serious he just wanted to use you from breeding purposes. Sometimes puppy reader couldn’t keep up with enji half the time she would end up passing out during their sessions. But he keep going he wanted you to have a baby so bad, but it never worked. And endeavor could never figure out why, but all your puppy brain remember is getting a pill everyday from the white haired woman.

Soon enough enji forgot about you and only focused on train shoot and becoming number 1 dropping you in a little room that was kinda like a dog house. He forgot to feed you so his children and Rei would do it a lot soon enough it seemed only fuyumi and natsou would feed you and that was a rare chance.

Post redemption enji -

I’m the family dinner scene between endeavor and natsou he reminds him that he left you in a room alone for years now. And endeavor just sits they’re like “huh”because he forgot about you so natsou sitting there wants to slap his father in the face but just take ps a piece of paper and writes directions and says follow it.

Enji find the room and sees you. You look so tired like you haven’t seen the light of life in days. Enji tilts up your head and sees you look super sleepy but all you do in turn over and sleep. So he grabs you and takes you to his room you’ve been in that room for to long. In the morning enji finds it so cute when your pawing at his window at the sunlight your little tail wagging at the sight.

Enji had never seen you this happy before you just felt empty looked empty. So he decided to get a cute little dog bed for you in his office and leave you some nice food to make up for his past actions. He playing catch with you the other day of course you were catching the ball with your mouth. Wouldn’t you know in a few months you were the happiest dog alive in the household.

Now a certain time came along the enji wasn’t expecting. Fuyumi has told him you weren’t feeling well so enji went to check on you, only find that your humping the floor and all the pillows look soaked. Poor little puppy girl, just was so horny without him. You started pawing on his leg you craved him right now you needed him right now.

So now enji is here fucking your tight little cunt. You’ve gone for 3 organisms now and every time his cock gets deeper and deeper in your hole. You were drunk off his cock right now and if enji stops for a tiny break then you’ll do the job yourself.

So you continued for idk the rest of the night until you finally passed out

You can tell this is my first time going into writing smut

#endeavor x reader #minors fuck off #boku no hero academia smut #puppygirl!reader #minors begone

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sanguinescorpios · 3 years ago

Text

stream sniper

dream x f!reader

summary | dream is on an important stream and too busy to give you attention. unfortunately for him, you’re feeling needy.

warnings | smut, thigh riding, voyeurism, dom!dream x sub!reader, edging, cockwarming, orgasm denial if you squint, this is filthy

word count | 2.8k

it started out innocent. you had been missing your boyfriend; between your school work and his editing, you rarely got to spend time together despite living in the same house.

you admit, you were a needy partner. you liked to be attached to clay’s hip at any chance you got, and he just let you. during recordings, during editing, even during streams; you were always there. it didn’t matter if he couldn’t really pay attention to you or if you had to sit on the couch behind his set up, you just enjoyed being in his presence.

this one, however, was slightly different than the average stream. you could count on one hand the amount of times clay had refused to let you be present for a stream and every time he had, it was a trainwreckstv stream.

it was fine, you always said, you understood. of course he wouldn’t want you there for a stream like that. he had to focus a lot harder on how and what he said on train’s podcast because the demographic and content was so drastically different from his own, and you would only distract him. it wasn’t personal. still, you couldn’t help but feel bitter about it. you missed him; final exams week had just ended and the idea of spending worry-free quality time with him was what got you through it. so you did what your totally logical brain told you to do: walk in anyways.

the door creaked as you opened it and you cringed internally. your sock-clad feet tread lightly as you moved forward into the room, praying your boyfriend wouldn’t notice your presence.

he did.

being a faceless creator, he didn’t even own a camera to accidentally have on, so you were safe on that front. the look on his face, however, told you that you were not so safe after all.

“i thought we agreed on you not being here for this stream?” he asked after tapping the mute keybind on his keyboard. he spun around in his chair with an abrupt kick from his heel, trying and failing to veil his annoyance.

“we did...but i missed you.”

he rolled his eyes, still ticked off but not so much that he was willing to turn you away. he missed you as well, he couldn’t deny it. not having you in his arms for so many hours was excruciating, though he tried not to think so dramatically. clay waved you over to him, the corners of his lips curling up at your attire.

“is that my shirt?” he asked, and you nodded. placing his large hands firmly on your hips, clay kept you close to him while he took a closer look at the oversized red t-shirt. it hung loosely on you, two sizes too big and ending mid-way down your thighs. clay couldn’t help but notice your lack of pants, too.

swooping his head down, he pressed a kiss to your exposed thigh. you brought your hands up to your face, heating up by the second, and giggled.

“no pants, hm?”

you gave him another non-verbal response, bashfully shaking your head while looking down at him through your fingers. he tsked you before pressing another kiss against your skin, inching closer and closer to where you needed him most.

“naughty girl,” he remarked after a few more kisses.

“aren’t you on a stream right now?”

clay glanced behind himself at his monitor, watching as the grown men on the screen argued with each other over some nonsensical issue. returning his gaze to you, he shrugged.

“yeah, but it was getting pretty boring.”

without a warning, clay clumsily pulled you into his lap and spun the two of you back around in his chair. after giving you one more kiss, he placed his headphones back on his head and returned to the conversation on his computer.

“yo, dream, you’ve been pretty quiet, man,” train noted, just in time.

“yeah my cat was acting weird, so i was gone for a minute.” clay placed a hand on your thigh and squeezed, a stupid grin on his face. this was gonna be one hell of a night.

***

you hated to say it, but you regretted crashing the stream. the conversation was painfully boring and dragging on, but there was no way you could leave now with the hold clay had on you. one hand lay around your middle and the other was firmly gripping your thigh. with his calloused fingers rubbing circles into the crease between your leg and your torso and his confident voice rumbling in your ear, you weren’t sure if you’d make it to the end of the stream. maybe he was teasing you, or maybe you were just needy. either way, you were gonna need a little more attention than this.

you stretched your neck in order to meet clay’s gaze, hoping he’d see the desperation in your eyes. instead, he gave you a soft smile and a kiss on the nose before turning back to the screen. he expected you to turn back as well so when you didn’t, he took notice.

reaching to mute himself, he gave you a concerned look.

“you alright, baby?” he asked and you shook your head no, “what’s up?”

“need you,” you admitted, barely concealing the whine that threatened to escape your throat.

clay’s eyes darkened ever so slightly, making it feel like the air had just been sucked out of the room. he was thinking, debating what to do next as he bounced you on his leg. the pace was punishingly slow and you grit your teeth to hold yourself together.

“i’m a little busy, pretty girl,” he began as you let out a whine, “you’ll have to take care of yourself for now.”

you weren’t sure what that meant until you followed his gaze down. oh. oh. he wants you to...use him. okay. you raised yourself off his lap and he gave you a confused look, but it disappeared as soon as he saw you slipping out of your panties and was replaced by a smug smile.

climbing back onto his leg, facing him this time, you let out a puff of air. fuck, he felt good. your already dripping center pressed against clay’s jean-clad thigh, the rough fabric intensifying any amount of friction you could manage. you wanted to move so badly, but clay’s tight hold on your hips kept you stationary. you looked up at him with big eyes, silently asked for permission. finally, he nodded.

you immediately began rutting your hips against his thigh, resting your hands on his shoulders to stabilize yourself. fuck, you thought as you felt the sturdiness of him underneath you, his shoulders. small mewls and whimpers escaped you as you increased your pace, chasing a high that you weren’t sure you could reach on your own.

train had clay talking about his sudden success, which was a fan-favorite topic as everyone either hated or loved him for it. the only catch was that, being the nature of train’s podcast, the focus was less on the money and more on the, well, you know.

“think about it, dream. there are people out there fucking themselves to the sound-to the thought of you. isn’t that crazy?” you heard train ask, though it was muffled by clay’s headset.

clay looked down at his lap, on which you were grinding your bare clit like a bitch in heat, and then back up to his monitor.

“not really.”

you nearly moaned at his words, but hid it by sucking a bruise into clay’s neck. clay hissed at the feeling and tried to push you off, but you were unrelenting. you swirled your tongue around the section of his skin to soothe the pain. pulling back to admire your work, you were met with a now aggravated clay.

“y-yeah i’m alright man,” he started, glaring down at you, “my cat just scratched me.”

you rolled your eyes. great excuse, asshole.

you began to lean back down towards his already bruising neck, but were instead met with a strong hand gripping your jaw, turning you to face your now dually frustrated boyfriend. something had shifted, the air felt thicker and clay felt sharper, all softness void from his demeanor. the look in his eyes was made of steel and flickering between your own gaze and your mouth, brows furrowed and tongue dipping between his lips to swipe across them. the little voice in your head was screaming “danger”, but danger didn’t look so bad in that moment. danger looked good, danger looked worth the risk. danger looked like getting the best fuck of your life.

ignited by the heat building in your core and the near-paralyzing look clay was giving you, you continued your previous actions. rutting your hips against clay’s thigh with fervor, you smiled proudly at him. the roughness of his jeans sent shivers through your body, you had to be soaking him and you were only getting wetter by the second.

your chin raised, a smug smile plastered to your features, and that challenging glint in your eye - you were such a fucking brat and clay lived to put you in your place. his hold on your jaw tightened before sliding down to rest on your throat, squeezing until your eyelids began to flutter and your thrusts grew sloppier. the knot in his stomach twisted tighter at the sight. fuck, clay thought, you were something else. something that needed to be taught a lesson.

clay muted again, taking advantage of the ad break to pull down his sweatpants and pull out his cock. he pumped it a few times, precum leaking from the tip and sliding down his length. your stomach flipped at the sight, never not taken back by his size. clay grabbed you by your hips and spun you around so that you were facing his pc, facing everyone on the call that you had nearly forgotten he was still on. then, he began to tease his tip at your entrance.

“this what you wanted, pretty girl? wanted me to treat you like a slut? wanted me to fuck you with everyone on the call?”

you moaned at the feeling of him circling the place you needed him most. the heat was still heavy on you from your previous actions and your body was no less frenzied than before, you wanted your release more than anything. knowing that all of those people were there didn’t help your crazed state. you felt dirty and you liked it.

“sit.”

you lifted yourself over him without a second thought, slick and sensitive from the buildup of your long-awaited orgasm. a moan slipped past your lips at the stretch, feeling every inch of him against your walls as he bottomed out. instinctively, you let your head fall against clay’s shoulder, overwhelmed by how full you felt. god, he felt so good. when you went to move, clay’s strong hands gripped your hips and held you in place.

you whimpered against his neck, trying and failing to get some sort of friction going. when that didn’t work, you opted to clench around him, but clay simply tsk-ed you.

“you’ve been naughty, baby,” he started, “now you’ll sit here like a good girl and keep me warm until the stream’s over.”

what? you thought to yourself, the panic setting in. he can’t be serious!

“no, no, no, no, i’ll be good!” you begged. you’d been practically edging yourself for what felt like hours now, you needed him to let you release.

“i know you will, baby. now sit still for daddy, okay?”

time passed immeasurably slow. your mind was racing with thoughts, trying to focus on anything but clay’s cock throbbing inside of you. you tried your hardest not to squeeze him too often, despite how much relief it brought you. clay was feeling the heat too, your warm, velvety walls gripped him impossibly tight and he was beginning to regret choosing this punishment. you needed the lesson, but god was he suffering for it.

when the stream finally came to an end, the first thing clay did was thrust up into you. you yelped, gripping his arm in surprise at the sudden movement. he started up a steady pace, pounding up into you and rubbing harshly at your clit. the feeling was intense, especially after how long you’d been teased and forced to wait, and you found yourself moaning wildly because of it, unable to control your noises as he spun you around in his lap once again.

“had to-make me-punish you-during a stream, huh?” he taunted between harsh thrusts, grabbing you by your hair and forcing you to look at him. “had to choose today to be a little slut?”

you let out a near-pornographic noise, your eyes rolling back into your head as he hit your most sensitive spot.

“i asked you a question.”

“i’m sorry, daddy. i - ah! - i won’t do it again!” you wailed, head falling back as you felt your release fastly approaching.

clay grunted and forced you to look at him again, pushing his thumb into your mouth and letting you drool around it.

“look at me when you fucking speak,” he ordered.

he picked up the pace in frustration, wanting you to apologize appropriately. you distracted him, you should know how much he hates that. you should also know how much he demands your eye contact, getting fucked or not.

you coerce your eyes open and look at him, not concerned about how absolutely wrecked you must look right now. mascara running down your cheeks with tears from over and under stimulation, eyeliner smudged around your blown out eyes, lips red and sore from kissing on his neck, you were a mess. a hot one, if you asked clay.

“i’m sorry, daddy. i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry!” you continued to babble around his finger as his thrusts somehow grew harder and harder, the pace excruciatingly pleasurable. you were going to cum, you knew that much, but you needed permission.

“gonna cum, daddy!” you warned, feeling the burning knot in the pit of your stomach begging to unravel.

“cum for me, baby. make daddy proud.”

and make daddy proud you did, cumming hard around clay’s cock and feeling yourself spray his stomach with your juices. did you just? oh my god, you did. the embarrassment only made you feel hotter as clay continued to fuck your hole past your orgasm. you whined from the overstimulation, but he couldn’t have cared less.

clay’s moans went from low grunts to higher, breathy gasps, the closer he got the lighter his noises became. his brows were furrowed tightly and his eyes were blown out, the darkest shade of green you think you’d ever seen. the muscles in his arm pulsed as he gripped your waist tighter, completely using you as his own personal fuck toy. he was almost there, you could feel it in the way he gave his all but couldn’t keep up the organized pace he had before. you needed him to cum, not just because you were close to being worked up all over again from the stimulation, but because you wanted to make him feel good. in that moment, making him cum felt like your life purpose, your only purpose. you didn’t just want him to cum, you needed it.

“please give me your cum daddy, wanna feel it inside me,” you begged, taking matters into your own hands, “need you to make me yours.”

at that, clay groaned out a loud string of profanities and came inside of you. he painted your insides, you could feel him everywhere. you sighed at the feeling, warm and full and satisfied. clay let his head fall into the crook of your neck as he breathed through his cool down, pressing soft kisses to your neck and shoulder and mumbling praises and ‘i love you’s’. it took a moment for either of you to actually speak, just relishing in the moment and enjoying each others company.

“you gonna move anytime soon, bud?” you finally asked with a giggle. clay simply shook his head and buried it farther into your neck, humming out a ‘no’.

“wanna make sure it stays in for a while.”

you giggled again at his confession, pressing a kiss to the side of his head and ruffling his hair.

“okay baby,” you paused and pouted, “i’m sorry for interrupting your stream.”

clay sat back and gave you a soft smile, pressing his finger to your lips and turning your frown upside down, literally. he shook his head and gave you a sweet kiss, pressing his own lips tenderly to yours.

“don’t apologize, it was worth it.” a cheeky smile spread across his face and you rolled your eyes, the endearing air around you severed by your boyfriend’s childishness. you loved it, though you’d never tell him.

“you think anyone was suspicious of us?” you inquired, hoping to god no one had picked up on your quiet moans while the stream was still going.

“nah,’ clay lied.

#dreamwastaken x you #dream x you #dream x reader #mcyt x reader #dreamwastaken smut #dream smut #dreamwastaken x reader #dream #dreamwastaken #mcyt

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