#you apologize to take accountability

[wafsspie]

Rekindling a friendship (bad quality :( sorry!!)

[suhnshinehaos]

my heart dropped when i read the statement that sm put out re: taeil, genuinely the last thing i expected to read today. i’m shocked, disappointed, but most of all- i’m angry.

angry at what he’s done, angry at seeing some fans defend him, angry at those turning this into a gotcha moment to promote or lift their faves up. please, this isn’t just some discussion on the internet- there is a very real victim, a very real woman at the heart of all this. i hope she gets the justice and healing she deserves.

[sparksandspells]

for all our days and all our trials // the damen/laurent wedding fic

captive prince | rated E | 40k | post-canon | laurent pov | character study | worldbuilding | half sex, half politics (often at the same time) | a soft absurd future fic

When Laurent set out to plan a royal wedding between two 1) men, who are 2) actively ruling kings, of 3) tenuously peaceful lands, with 4) widely-known reasons to have killed, or possibly 5) still kill each other, he expected the process to come with a few difficulties. He did not expect getting his perpetually amorous new husband aroused on their wedding night to be the hardest of them. (Or: ‘Not in front of the court,' said Laurent, as if this were unspeakably foolish, 'in front of the Council.’)

Read on AO3.

it's here!! it's done!! after three years of sporadic work, it's finally out in the world!! 😭😭😭 i may be biased but this is my favorite thing i've ever written and i'm so excited to finally share it with everyone!!

big huge thanks to @ming85, @delilahsdaydream, and @i-am-a-story-goblin for responding to my call for betas two years ago; y'all's suggestions made the fic way better than it would've been otherwise. (a round of applause especially for ming85, who saved an ancient tapestry from the horror of grass stains and generally made the wedding event much more kingly than i, in my infinite unwordliness, had intended to.)

thanks also to @damiaanos for being my wall to bounce things off of more recently as i finally committed to getting this thing done no matter what. legitimately don't know how i would've managed it without your excellent balance of "you can do it" and "it's fine, stop stressing". if any other perfectionists are reading this, find people like that, they're great.

shoutout to @slecnaztemnot for throwing me the idea of putting Loyse on the Council when i had been stuck on the fifth member for a year, and gratitude to @kingsrising for being a visible fandom hub that i could turn to when i needed community and had no idea where to look for it

fandom is the best and i'm really excited to start being a more active part of capri's

as i mentioned, i've been talking about this fic on tumblr for over two years, so i will now proceed to tag every person who interacted with either of those posts, on the off chance that they would appreciate receiving an update on this fic that is now a real thing that they can go read (if they wish to, obvi)

from the kingsrising ask: @ladykyrin, @afantasyghost, @gildedgaze, @westealtoys, @timburtonknewmyoceans

@plushdragon, @blue-eyed-korra, @foreverskies29, @bumblebee-whiskey, @stardust-at-midnightt,

@brinkleyheights, @lavendercoded, @meraki-ii, @nonothatsano, @not-a-coral-snake

and from the call for betas: @caeli-phantomhive, @laurents-laces, @jaks21, @auroralunasoleil, @captaindamianos

@airebellah, @certainbirdkitty

@marrieddorks, @i-want-delfeur, @morgenti, @goose-fish, @farrukh-schumann,

@theoverlyenthusiasticwriter, @p1n4ta, @deleteitold, @lovelovelove, @hennike

@nczakiis, @theoraclephobetor, @angelshineyourlightonme, @naisvalta, @pienenpienileppakerttu,

@aristosakielon, @foreverfraancis, @fangirlfortress, @whynotme12, @naturaldisaster,

@gutstrings, @dreamerthief18, @aladybetween2majors, @k04, @burntpercy

[galedekarios]

the plagiarist posting an "apology" to creators, including myself, who he has ripped for months on end despite us asking him not to while he still has us all blocked is... a choice

[go-against-fate]

i couldnt stfu about it so here it is again;

(theres more under the cut)

I made 2 version for the llojavi ones bcus im not sure which one looks better.. or just more appealing looking

AAAND heres Alicia :)

..... i'll make more soon . i just have a bit of an ava/m brainrot rn༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽

[adaptations-polls]

Which version of this do you prefer?

See tags of original post for further notes

[konfizry]

Title: Rokurou repays a debt

Artist: Katsura ichiho

Source : Tales of Berseria Comic Anthology (DNA Media Comics), Chapter 10

Nb pages: 8

Link: Full res on imgur

[coquelicoq]

part of the process of learning to take responsibility for your actions is learning what things you can't take responsibility for. not just to protect you (e.g., from your own feelings of guilt; from people taking advantage of your willingness to take responsibility by attributing blame to you unfairly), but because to take responsibility is not just to say "it was my fault and i'm sorry" but to actually do things (to make amends and to mitigate and prevent future harm), and if you don't understand what to take responsibility for, you aren't going to understand how to take responsibility.

there is a lot that's outside of your control. people put a lot of emphasis on forgiveness in a way that i think is missing the point. being forgiven is not my priority. my priority is that i am doing what it is in my power to do. i can't control how that's received. i'd like it to be received well; i'm doing what i'm doing because i want to repair harm that i have caused to another person, so it matters to me if what i'm doing is actually achieving that goal or not. but there's only so much that i can do to achieve that goal, and if i'm doing it, and the harm is not repaired, that's okay. that's beyond my control. i have to make my peace with the fact that i've caused harm to another person that is not resolved, because i'm doing what i can and i have to continue living on this earth, and in continuing to live i'm going to be living with the fact of that unresolved harm. the most important thing at that point is for me to use my knowledge of the specific ways in which my actions harmed that person to change my behavior going forward to avoid causing that harm again, to the extent that that's within my power.

it doesn't do anyone - you or the people you have harmed - any good for you to assign responsibility to yourself for things that you can't control. if you're going to attempt the active work of repair and change you have to first identify what it's possible to repair and change. you can't actually repair a relationship all by yourself! you can only change your own behavior. you can only offer amends to the other person that they may or may not find sufficient. not to go all serenity prayer on you but guilt for the sake of guilt just makes you feel way more powerful than you actually are (because you think that everything happened because of you) and at the same time completely incapable of exercising your power (because you don't understand what your power actually is). to effect change you have to focus on the things you can actually change. focusing on the things you can't change is a problem not just because it's taking your focus away from the things you can change, but because it means you don't actually understand the sphere of your own influence. you're operating under what is essentially a self-centered worldview in which you could make everything better, you could prevent all harm, if only you were trying harder, if only you were a better person. who does that serve? it doesn't reflect reality. it makes you hate yourself and feel sorry for yourself at the same time, and it doesn't actually improve things for the people you harmed. it doesn't help keep you from harming people in the future, because you don't understand the territory and the limits of the causal relationship between your actions and other people's reactions to them.

you can only do what you can do. what you can't do, you can't do, and you can't take responsibility for doing, either in the past or present. after you realize that there is harm to repair the next step in the process of repair is to ask yourself what your responsibility is for the past and what your agency is going forward. everything else will follow from that. you simply cannot skip that step.

[risingsunresistance]

i guess im never fucking posting mcyt again bc that's like the 5th wilbur supporter that's been in the notes of that little pig drawing

get the fuck away from me, this isn't "discourse" or "fandom drama" anymore he's just an abuser

[keischreiber]

I love it when characters realize their mistakes and apologize.

Because there is nothing wrong with admitting that you are at fault when you realize that you have been mistaken.

[incandescentflower]

Teddy Bear halfway (actually, a little over) check point. I have pulled myself out of my full life disassociation to take a break. I moved a little into episode 9 because episode 8 ended with the lead up to Nut's birthday and this was clearly going to be important.

They had been giving all the flags about Nut's childhood. It wasn't that his mother just picked his father and they had a happy little life, albeit not with the man she loved. No, Nut's childhood was not great. And as with many people with childhood trauma, some of it culminated around his birthday.

It was really satisfying to have Nut get the recognition from his mother that she had been passive and selfish in more than just the recent years of her mental illness. We all know this won't wash it all away completely, but it was healing start for the both of them.

And all of this is happening while Nut is opening his heart to Tofu. There is way too much "I'll stay with you forever" for my liking because I haven't been fully spoiled, but my sense is Tofu's time is limited and he will not be with Nut for the long term (at least in this particular manifestation of himself).

I'm feeling pretty satisfied that most of my thoughts about where this was going have been revealed to be true. An indication of good writing, for certain. It's the same reason why I know Tofu can't stay. Despite the beauty in how Tofu and Nut have started to love each other, it is a fantasy love. Tofu has no needs, except to be close to Nut and love him. That isn't how love between people works. This show is entirely about how messy it is to love each other because people are complex and flawed.

Still Tofu's love is incredibly important to this story. The love he gives Nut is unconditional. He has seen all the worst of Nut, seen all the messiness that is in and outside of him and his love has not faltered. You can see it healing Nut in real time on screen and it's so beautiful.

Even between complicated people, you can experience radical love like that, it just isn't all you get. It comes along with the messiness of life. Nut isn't ready for that though. He hasn't experienced that uncomplicated love before, that unwavering love, even though I know his mother has that kind of love for him, she wasn't always able to put him first. Tofu does that for him. Nut finally gets to experience that.

I've paused in part because it feels like this is when shit is going to really get real. It's a bit counter intuitive since we've already trudged through a lot of trauma, but we still have half of this drama to go and we have not unpacked most of what happened with Tarn.

Knowing that @lurkingshan and @twig-tea have said this is a happy ending makes me want to get to know Tarn more. I have to believe that Tofu is some sort of manifestation of his love for Nut and that Tarn will wake up and he and Nut will get a chance again to heal from whatever went on between them.

[emily-mooon]

While I hop through all of my art wips, have this ship chart I made for nordegrim!

[firestorm09890]

this is probably gonna be super incoherent but I'm currently thinking about how throughout all of Chain of Memories, the traitor duo is portrayed as less sympathetic than the basement trio even though the guys in the basement are for the series's token Evil Organization and Marluxia and Larxene are against it. the enemy of my enemy is not my friend

they're all villains but they've got their own conflict going on. one side takes action, the other side tries to pick up the pieces; one side aims to hurt sadistically, the other only hurts because business is business; one side gets what's coming for them, the other side begs for their lives and apologizes and gets stabbed in the back in ways that make you go "wow, that was messed up. this game is for kids?"

both Marluxia and Larxene are killed by the protagonist with no remorse, while Vexen, Lexaeus, and Zexion are all taken out by people who you'd think would be on their side. isn't that clear divide so fascinating

[ihavebeesinmybrain]

and while i’m on the topic, it’s insane how much time the reunion spent belaboring how hard it has been for sam since the show has been airing and like. respectfully. this is not a case of a bad edit. this is just natural consequences. this is cause and effect. if you behave like a piece of shit, people are going to treat you like a piece of shit. if you go on a fucking netflix show and behave like a piece of shit on an international stage, soooooooo many people are going to know what a piece of shit you are and all of those people will respond to you accordingly. like, are people right to be cyber bullying him? maybe not. but did he invite this? absolutely. don’t try to get me to feel bad for the man. i’m not going to feel bad for him.

[mihrsuri]

I keep trying to write an update and then being embarrassed about it and feeling like I’m trauma dumping on people by updating and I just..I know it’s on me to manage my crap, I know. I am trying (not very well but I’m trying) and it’s just…I don’t know. I don’t even know.

[vilwil-brr]

so. in light of recent news, I’m logging on here so I can delete what i have written for cwilbur - I was already debating on leaving it up or not anyway - and I’ll be changing my username once I figure out a new one. I know this hasn’t blog been focused on his characters for literal years, but I figure it’d be best to let y’all know - especially considering the username change.

I will probably continue to be inactive for the next month at least, but will be active for the next few days trying to edit things here, if anyone wants to talk through asks or DM’s. I hope you all are doing well, and I hope Shelby continues to receive the support she deserves.