#yet the attention span of a goldfish

[fabled-lady-twilla]

Which of the following ShigaDeku fic ideas sound the most interesting to you?

I have a handful of ShigaDeku fics I've been consistently working on over the past couple of months. I keep switching back and forth and writing out small scenes for each story in order to get a sense of the direction I want to take them in. They're all different flavors of dark romance and hurt/comfort and have great potential. I just can't decide which one I want to write first. Help meeeeeee! 😭😭😭

I need your opinions, ShigaDeku fans! Could you tell me which one of the following story ideas sounds the most interesting or even rate them out of four like 1/4, 2/4, etc. based on your interest? 🥺👉👈

Canon Divergence Soulmate AU

Dark romance, action, hurt/comfort, and psychological drama.

Long-lost childhood friends to mortal enemies to soulmates.

Heroes vs. villains dilemma (fixing systemic issues in hero society together with Hawks + Aizawa + the League of Villains).

Izu and Shiga discovering they're not only childhood friends but also soulmates whose souls are tied to each other for eternity.

Set in canon universe and loosely follows the MHA storyline EXCEPT it actually has a genuinely hopeful ending, gives the League a redemption arc, and achieves lasting changes for society!

Yakuza Stepbrother AU

Dark romance, suspense, hurt/comfort, and crime drama.

Izu and Shiga are stepbrothers through Inko's secret marriage to All For One fifteen years prior to the beginning of the story.

Shigaraki inheritance dilemma (Izu signs away his rights to the fortune away because Inko (on her deathbed) told him to do so in order to protect him from getting involved with mafia drama. Too bad she didn't consider Shiga becoming obsessed with Izu upon meeting him and dragging him into the mafia world anyway). 😅

Yakuza territory war dilemma (because Izu is technically Shiga's stepbrother by marriage, he's threatened strongly encouraged to stay with the Shigaraki family until its safe for him to move out.

Tartarus Rehabilitation AU

Dark romance, thriller, hurt/comfort, and psychological drama.

Izu is a therapist-in-training who believes in rehabilitation for criminals. Shiga is a serial killer incarcerated in Tartarus for going on killing sprees targeting people who are cruel to animals.

Due to one of Izu's co-workers being sick, he's called in to cover for an interview with none other than Shiga himself. By the end of the interview, Shiga becomes infatuated with Izu and refuses to speak to anyone else or release important details about his murders unless Izu is the one questioning him.

Shiga's obsession eventually becomes worse and worse until he breaks out of Tartarus with the help of All For One (because of course he does) and Izu is like, well shit, time to go into hiding!

Paranormal Fantasy AU

Dark romance, paranormal fantasy, hurt/comfort, and horror.

Izu is a mystic who specializes in healing medicine for immortal beings like vampires, lycans, shapeshifters, mages, certain kinds of demons, undead, cursed beings, and of course, all of the supernatural hunters who get hurt keeping these beings in line.

Shiga is a hybrid of unknown origin (haven't decided if he's going to be a half-demon or half-vampire yet) who gets grievously injured one day defending his territory from an opposing coven leader.

Dabi drags Shiga to Izu's remote cottage and demands that the mystics heal his coven leader or he'll slaughter him right then and there. Izu, never being able to deny someone in need of healing, decides that he'll heal Shiga as long as his coven provides protection while he stays in their territory, and Dabi agrees.

Over the course of a week, Shiga stays in Izu's cottage with him as Izu slowly uses his magic to heal Shiga's wounds. Shiga spends the entire time obsessively taking in every detail of Izu's life, trying to figure out why he's on the run and how Shiga can make Izu join his coven and make him stay with Shiga forever.

Pretty please let me know which one of these story ideas you liked the most! My ADHD brain is really struggling with which one to go for, so I would really appreciate your opinion on these. 💚💚💚

[the-consequence-of-imagination]

Me this afternoon: Now that I've got the icon for this item done, all that's left is to take some screenshots & finish setting up the nexus page! Me when I realized that gnomes & halflings do NOT use dwarf equipment models & each have their own:

[angelicutz]

You were always watching Madoka Magica..

You were always watching Bungou Stray Dogs..

[brbsoulnomming]

Heart On Your Sleeve Part 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

written for steddiebigbang2024 and belatedly posting here!

-----

“Freak's looking at you.”

There's a nudge to his shoulder that makes Steve jerk up, snapping out of the daze he'd been in.

“Huh?” he asks, looking at Aaron with his brow furrowed.

Aaron nods towards a spot halfway across the cafeteria, and Steve shifts his gaze over to see Munson standing on top of one of the tables, watching him expectantly.

Shit.

“Can you repeat that, if you're expecting a response?” Steve asks. “I drifted off somewhere around comparing the swimming pool to a goldfish bowl.”

He's being honest - it's still harder to concentrate, and he saves it for classes and practice and tends to zone out when he doesn't need to pay attention - but it makes the people who were clearly listening in laugh.

Steve catches Munson's gaze and rolls his eyes, giving him an apologetic little shrug.

He's not really sure how Munson takes it, because he just bemoans the attention span of the average jock and clomps down from the table, but no one's looking at either of them anymore, so he guesses it doesn't matter.

Steve's almost disappointed. Might be kind of nice to see what Munson's like when no one's watching them, he thinks.

—

Things are okay, with him and Nancy and Jonathan.

His gaze doesn't automatically seek Nancy out in a crowd or anything - mostly because he'd always been at her side, before, so it's not like it's even something he's used to - but he still catches her gaze sometimes, still smiles and nods and doesn't say anything.

They share study hall together.

He and Nancy shared it before, of course, and logically he knows that Jonathan had it at the same time they did, but now - now they all have it together.

After the first few times of him or Nancy awkwardly veering sharply away from their previously shared table when they'd seen the other one was already there - one day they just didn't.

They don't say much, but the three of them sit together, exchanging class notes and books. Sometimes Steve sees the pinch in Jonathan's eyes and gives him a bottle of water and some ibuprofen, and sometimes Jonathan sees him squinting too hard at something and copies the passage over in bigger handwriting, and Nancy checks over both of their notes, and it's -

The jagged black cut in his heart scabs, fades, scars. He'll always love her, he thinks, but sometimes he thinks if they can get over the hurt -

Sometimes he sits with the two of them and it's the closest he's ever felt to being understood. Sometimes he thinks it's what he wanted with Tommy and Carol, all those years ago.

It's a start.

—

He runs into Munson after school, sometimes.

They don't say anything either, but after practice gets out and after Munson is done with his theater club or whatever it is, they'll see each other.

Sometimes, if Munson's selling, Steve will linger.

He doesn't really think Billy's stupid enough to point fingers at Munson, and most people are too afraid of him to do anything, but it still makes him feel a little better to keep an eye on him.

It kind of feels like no one watches out for Eddie Munson, not the way he watches out for his fellow freaks.

“What?” Munson demands one day, sidling up to Steve and slamming his goodie box down on the bench. “What're you looking for here?”

Steve frowns at him. “I told you.”

Munson's brows furrow. “You were serious about that shit? You think you're protecting me?”

“Why not?” Steve challenges.

Munson's eyes go flat. “And what's this protection going to cost me?”

Steve thinks about being offended, for a moment, before he wonders if other people have tried to make deals before, keep the other assholes of Hawkins High away from him in exchange for free weed or something.

He softens. “I haven't asked you for anything.”

Munson scowls. “Yet,” he counters. “Whatever you're thinking, if you're trying to get me to owe you, it's not happening. Fuck off, man, I don't need protecting.”

His heart clenches as he hears an echo of Max saying the same thing, and before he knows it he's reached into his chest and pulled out his heart.

The scowl melts into confusion for a brief moment before it's back in full force. “I'm still not showing you mine,” Munson retorts.

“I still haven't asked,” Steve counters. “I don't want anything, man, all right? Just looking out in case Billy tries something.”

Or anyone else, now that Steve thinks of it, but even with his heart pumping in a steady truth, he's not sure Munson'll believe that.

“Just like that,” Munson says flatly, after a moment of watching Steve's heart. “And what do your knights of the round table think of this?”

Steve's nose scrunches. “What?”

“Your knights.” Munson waves his hand dismissively, but - his tone isn't mean, isn't condescending. “It's a King Arthur reference.”

It's nice, that he isn't being shitty about Steve not understanding something.

“Right. So that makes me King Arthur, and you're - what was it again, the court jester?” Steve asks, giving him a little smile to show he's teasing.

“If we're doing King Arthur, I'm going with Merlin,” Eddie says.

“The old guy with the beard and pointy hat?” Steve asks.

Eddie puts his hands on his hips, fluttering his eyelashes. “You think I couldn't pull it off?”

Steve plays along, making a show of looking him up and down. “You know what, sure, you've got the right look for gray haired old man.”

“Asshole,” Eddie tells him, but he doesn't sound pissed anymore. “You know you're cutting into my profits, right? People see you lingering and they're less likely to come buy.”

Steve's brows furrow. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, really. Only the desperate want to make illicit purchases under the watchful eye of Hawkins High's once and future king.”

Steve's quiet for a moment. “I'll stand farther away, make myself look busy.”

Eddie glowers. “Seriously? You're not giving this up?”

Honestly - Steve probably should. But he's stubborn, and Eddie throwing a fit about it kind of just makes him want to do it more.

“Who looks out for you?” he asks instead of answering.

Eddie looks thrown. “What?”

“That's why you do it, right? Why you started walking on tables and making yourself a target. It takes attention off of the guys younger than you.” Steve's trying to make a point, so he slides right over the fact that they both know everyone's younger than Eddie - this is his second senior year, after all. “So everyone watches you.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks, a little bit of an edge back in his voice. “You watch me, Harrington?”

“No,” Steve replies, blunt and honest. “Not really. Not before.”

“Not before Billy Hargrove tried to blame me for bashing your head in with his fists?” Eddie asks.

“He smashed a plate over it, actually,” Steve shoots back. “But yeah, something like that.”

Steve's heart gives an erratic beat. It wasn't a lie, but apparently it wasn't enough of the truth, either. Eddie gives him a pointed look.

“There's these kids I babysit,” Steve says, slow and careful. “They're into the same things you are. They're gonna be in high school next year, and I won't be here. Neither will you, but it just made me think - I'd want someone like you looking out for them.”

Eddie watches his heart for a moment.

“What are their names?” he asks. “Yeah, I won't be here, but Jeff will be. I can tell him to look out for them.”

Relief swoops through Steve, and he doesn't even care when Eddie gives him a funny look after he includes Mike and Will along with Dustin, Lucas, and Max.

He won't admit it, but it helps.

—

The next day, Eddie sits next to him at lunch.

He makes a big deal of it, hamming it up as he hops over the bench and plops down, pulling out a sandwich and some chips and flattening out his lunch bag to make a plate for them.

Steve's sitting with the swim team today, and he watches some of the guys side eye Eddie like they're not sure what the joke is and who the punchline is supposed to be. He watches some of them look at him with disgust, too, and those he carefully files away to keep an eye on later.

“My liege!” Eddie announces cheerfully. “How fair you and your knights of the round table on this fine afternoon?”

“Your king is doing just fine, as long as you keep your boots on the ground and away from the top of the lunch table,” Steve retorts.

“Is this like when Carol used to call her and Tommy Duke and Duchess?” Jacob asks.

“Are we doing that, are we knights now?” Dorian asks, his eyes lighting up a little.

Dorian gets straight A's, Steve remembers that. English is his best class.

“Sure, why not?” Steve says, shrugging carelessly, even as he shoots a smile at Dorian. “You can be Sir Galahad.”

Michael groans. “Don't encourage him, this is stupid.”

Tanner snorts. “From the guy who calls his girlfriend princess.”

Michael flushes. “Shut up! It's just so Ashley will stop whining.”

“Uh-huh.” Jacob elbows him. “We've all heard you at Tina's parties pledging to be her knight in shining armor.”

They have, apparently, completely forgotten Eddie's existence as they fall back to ribbing on each other.

Steve turns to him, finding him watching the table with a narrow, calculating gaze.

“Eat your lunch,” Steve says. “My knights don't give a shit.”

These ones, anyway, and as long as Steve's there, but he's not going to say that.

They both know it.

Still, Eddie keeps it up. It's not every day, or every other day, or in any kind of recognizable pattern, but he'll plop himself down next to Steve's side like he belongs there whenever he feels like it.

Steve largely treats it like he doesn't give a shit, and most of the people he tends to sit with follow suit, if a couple of them can't seem to resist making snide little comments.

It's always the ones who make snide comments to everyone, the kind of assholes that Steve can't wait to get away from, so he mostly ignores it.

The sixth or seventh time it happens, Steve drops his apple on Eddie's folded over lunch bag.

Eddie stares at him.

“What?” Steve asks. “You're going to get scurvy if you keep eating nothing but bologna and Doritos for lunch.”

Eddie snorts. “I look like an eighteenth century pirate captain?”

Steve makes a show of looking him up and down again. “You look like something,” he replies.

Completely unexpectedly, Eddie flushes a little, picking up the apple and taking a comically large bite out of it.

Steve grins.

—

Steve's at swimming practice after school when Nancy and Jonathan show up.

The second he sees them hovering near the back door, he hauls himself up out of the pool, barely pausing to grab a towel on the way.

“What's happened?” he asks immediately, low and quick.

Jonathan's expression is a mess of worry, like he's trying not to panic, as he says, “I can't find Will.”

“We're supposed to pick him and Mike up from the AV club,” Nancy cuts in. “But they're not there, and they're not at any of their usual places at school.”

“Or at home, or anyone else's place, or the arcade,” Jonathan adds.

Steve's chest tightens. It's stupid, kids go off to places they're not supposed to be all the time - especially these kids - but given their track record, that doesn't mean they're not in trouble. “Let me grab my stuff, I'll be right there.”

Practice is almost done, anyway.

He shrugs into his windbreaker and grabs his backpack, darting out the door to follow them. He's already digging around in the backpack to pull out the walkie talkie Dustin gave him by the time he gets to them.

“Little shit better answer,” Steve grumbles, thumbing it on. “Dustin, you there?”

There's a tense pause as they wait.

“Dustin?” Steve tries again.

Nothing.

Jonathan's face goes a little paler, and Nancy's jaw clenches.

“Hey asshole, you're the one who made me carry this around, the least you could do is respond,” Steve bitches.

This time, the walkie flares to life.

“You're supposed to say over when you're done talking, Steve!” Dustin bitches back. “Otherwise I won't know it's my turn! Over.”

“Are you serious right now? It wasn't obvious enough?” Steve asks - then, because he wouldn't put it past Dustin to be a little shit about it, and he knows Jonathan is beyond worried - “Is Will with you? Over.”

“Yeah, he's right here. Why?” Dustin asks. “Over.”

Jonathan sags with relief.

“Was he maybe supposed to meet his brother somewhere?” Steve prompts. “Over.”

Whatever Dustin had been going to say in response to that is drowned out by a chorus of “Oh shit!” and “You said you were keeping track of the time!” and “Don't tell Mom, we'll be right there!”

Nancy rolls her eyes, taking the walkie from him. “Five minutes,” she says into it. “Or we're leaving without you and you can bike home. Over and out.”

Steve's pretty sure he and Jonathan both know that she doesn't mean that, but the kids don't know it, so he's equally sure that'll light a fire under their asses.

“Hey, Dustin, do you and Lucas need a ride home?” he asks once he gets the walkie back.

“And Max?” Dustin asks. “Over.”

“And Max,” Steve agrees, assuming that's a yes. “I'll meet you out front of the high school. Over.”

He shoves the walkie back in his bag, looking up to exchange a relieved look with Nancy and Jonathan.

“See you tomorrow?” Nancy asks, though Steve gets the feeling it's more to fill the silence that's gone a little awkward, now that the potential danger's passed.

“Sure,” Steve says.

“Thanks,” Jonathan tells him, eyes fixed somewhere at his left cheekbone like he's not entirely sure where to look.

“Any time.” It comes out too flippant, though, and Steve makes a face at himself as Jonathan turns to leave.

“Hey.” Steve reaches out, fingers curled loosely around Jonathan's wrist. “I mean it, okay? Any time.”

This time, Jonathan's eyes lock on his. After a moment, Jonathan's cheeks go a little pink, and then he nods before he follows Nancy down the hall.

Steve watches them for a moment or two, then drops his backpack down on a bench a little harder than he probably should, digging around for his sweatpants.

“I don't get it.”

Steve looks up as he's halfway through putting his pants on to see Eddie sidling up next to him in the hall.

“Don't get what?” Steve asks.

Eddie nods towards where Nancy and Jonathan just were. “The three of you.”

Steve shrugs. “We're friends, not a lot to get.”

He goes back to fighting with his sweatpants, wishing he'd dried off a little more before pulling them on over his speedo. They keep sticking to his thighs.

Eddie's gone quiet, though, and when Steve glances back up, he sees Eddie staring at him.

Steve cocks one eyebrow. “What?”

Eddie flushes, looking away. “Didn't figure you'd be so comfortable with the girl who broke your heart and the guy who stole her away, is all. Or hey, maybe she's putting out for both of you, maybe Byers is-”

“Hey,” Steve cuts in, tone sharp and firm in a way he hasn't had to do since he stopped hanging out with Tommy and didn't have to hold him back when he'd gone too far anymore.

But Eddie isn't like Tommy. Maybe he doesn't know Eddie all that well, but Steve gets the feeling he only lashes out when he's feeling cornered.

“Don't be a dick, man,” Steve says, voice softening a little. “They haven't done anything to you.”

Eddie looks back at him, a little surprised, before his expression goes contrite. “You're right,” he admits, easy as anything. “Sorry. It's good that you’re friends with your ex.”

Steve's sort of friends with most of his exes, but that's not the same. None of them were ever Nancy. “I do better as part of a trio,” he says instead of anything else, because it's kind of true.

Then, because he doesn't actually want to field any questions about that -

“Besides,” Steve adds. “If you've heard the rumors, you'd know that's not the kind of threesome I'm into.”

Eddie snorts inelegantly, like he's trying to cover up a laugh. “You telling me I should be putting stock in all the rumors I hear about you, Stevie?”

“Of course not. But the ones about my skills in the bedroom?” he shoots back. “Every word is truth.”

It's not, really. Or, well - not the one about the threesomes. Steve doesn't think sitting between two girls on the couch at a house party and going back and forth between kissing them counts as a threesome.

But it'd never been a hardship to combat that particular rumor, not when it meant he could take his time reassuring the girl he was with that no, he didn't want anyone else there, when he could spend a while making sure she felt important, felt good.

He thinks he'd kind of like spending some time making Eddie feel important.

Steve has no idea what the hell he's supposed to do with thoughts like that.

But he does know the way Eddie's eyes have lingered over his thighs and the line of his stomach and chest peeking out from his open windbreaker, and he-

“You want to find out which rumors are true, you just let me know,” he hears himself say.

Eddie doesn't bite, rolling his eyes and shoving him before he heads off, but Steve isn't deterred.

He hadn't missed the way Eddie's hand had lingered, either.

—

Steve and Eddie have free period together.

Well. Steve has a free period, at least. He's honestly not sure Eddie isn't just ditching, but it doesn't really matter.

They hang out together anyway.

They don't really say much, just - exist in the same space. Sometimes in the smoking area, sometimes at the track, sometimes at the picnic table, sometimes somewhere else in the woods.

They sit too close together when they're in the woods, shoulders or knees always touching.

A few times, Steve takes out his heart, lets himself breathe.

Eddie always glares at it, mutters, “I'm still not showing you mine, Harrington.”

Steve shrugs, tells him he still hasn't asked, and that's it.

Steve'll miss it once he graduates.

—

He graduates, and doesn't go to college, doesn't see Nancy or Jonathan or Eddie much anymore, and it's - it's fine.

He still hangs out with the kids, starts putting in job applications, and it's fine.

He's fine.

This is already written, and my plan is to post one part a day until it's all up here!

-----

Part 5

Taglist (always happy to add more to this if anyone wants): @fairytalesreality @lostonceandneverfound @wheneverfeasible @awkwardgravity1 @theintrovertedintrovert @thewickedkat @ravenfrog @scarlet-malfoy @missmagillicuddy @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @ollyxar @cringe-culture-is-dead-99 @thedragonsaunt

[dahliakbs]

Random Ideas I've Had For Batfam

Writer's block is the only reason I've yet to post any of them

1) Idol! Reader x Batfam

This is one of my newest ones, where basically the reader would be a tired, overworked idol in an industry full of talent. Their attention span would be that of a goldfish so in order for batfam to get them to actually relax and take some time off (which they can't do any of that but whatever) the batfam would use their attention span against them.

Leading them away slowly but surely from the toxic idol life and instead trying to get them back into the real world.

2) Batfam x Reader - The bats are from a different universe

Where basically reader lives in a universe where heroes don't exist and one day they phase into reality. Coming out of nowhere and for some reason no one is questioning a single thing.

Almost everyone you know has these alrmtered memories of those vigilantes or villains and you just can't seem to understand how the world changed so drastically over night.

You somehow gain their attention, you know from nearly freaking out every time their in your proximity (as vigilantes) or when you start noticing the questionable things occurring in your universe

Like ripples in time, or holes in the ground that when looking inside of it lead to another universe. The world eventually ends with only you and the vigilantes being left and you start to put it all together.

(Basically its kinda was supposed to be like Rick and Morty, where if they destroy their own universe they just skip to another one and in the end they end up having to take the reader with them)

3) Batfam x Five Hargreeves! Reader

Long and short of the story, your an overworked sidekick. Batman seems to have this idea that your the key, that your powers would be extremely useful in his nightly crusades so he trains you. Day after day your worked to the bone and then you snap.

Why can all the other kid sidekicks get to live their lives as normally as possible but your stuck training day after day to do something you don't even want to do? Your muscles are screaming and your on the verge of passing out from all the strain your training had on your body so when your desperate, tired mind comes up with a way to put all of this to a stop you decide to do it.

You use your powers to send yourself into the future, thinking that it will permanently separate you from your daily hell... and it did, just not how you were expecting it to.

(Then basically you return to the past and in the same body you left in with the mission of saving the world, the batfam slowly uncover your secrets and after a while confront you about it.) Like about how you were an assassin

4) Damian Wayne x Child! Reader

Funny idea I got from a tiktok audio where reader is a church girl and they meet Damian during morning mass. He's covered in blood, clearly looks like he'll jump at the next thing that moves in his peripheral but your a kid, you don't care.

You immediately become friends (that's how you see it in your mind) sneaking him out of the church while your parents aren't looking because he asked you to, well more like demanded you to but a friend is a friend. He'll keep secretly inviting you out, somehow finding your parent's house and showing up in the middle of the night to whisk you away.

Not for the purpose of hanging out. No no no, your his cover. He camouflages well when your around, your bubbly, childlike demeanor hiding his intense and dark intentions. And that's a good thing when it comes to his missions, his mother doesn't seem to care about your presence in his life so for now he'll just keep you around.

Your parents are a bit apprehensive about your friendship with him and only when they find out that Damian is Bruce Wayne's son is when they finally accept your friendship. (After Damian meets Bruce)

They finally allow you to hang out with him and you finally get to meet his "irritating" siblings that he for some reason always goes on about and they're just staring at you like.

How did you become friends with their rat of a brother?

A little dialogue I had:

"How did you meet our brother?" Dick's trying to seem as sweet as possible but your entire outfit could light up an entire city, your parents have you dressed like a disco ball and it's not doing you any favors.

And you know, these nocturnal vigilantes aren't really used to such bright light.

"I met Dami while I was in church" you answer sweetly, it's clear that the difference between the two of you is night and day which us honestly a breath of fresh air.

"Oh really...?" Dick's smile tenses, I mean who would expect Damian to go to church, let alone be at least 15 feet near one.

"I was there to kill the pastor" he just simply states.

"You were there to kill the what?!" Boom, reality shattered. Innocence gone, now you know why you haven't been seeing Pastor Malcom as of late.

[biblical-chronicles]

Baby fever

_________________________________________

where Noel can't get enough of watching you take care of Lennon.

_________________________________________

You and Noel had just sat down on the couch, him sinking into the cushions with a sigh like he was already bored out of his mind. You’d barely had a second to settle in before the sound of tiny feet pattering across the floor made you perk up.

“Lennon’s in?” you asked, turning to Liam with a grin.

“Yeah, yeah, the big lad’s here,” he muttered, waving a hand dismissively. “But don’t get too excited, he’s a right little menace today.”

You didn’t listen. The second the little blond toddler rounded the corner, you were beaming. “Lennon!”

His head snapped up, bright eyes finding you instantly, and before Liam could warn you, the kid was launching himself at you. Small arms wrapped around your legs, and you scooped him up effortlessly, laughing as he clung to you like a little monkey.

“Well, hello to you too,” you chuckled, brushing his hair back from his forehead. “Didn’t know you were waitin' for me.”

“Course I was.” he said simply, in that blunt way only toddlers could manage.

Liam rolled his eyes. “Oi, don’t inflate her ego, kid. She’s insufferable enough as it is.”

Lennon ignored him, making a beeline for the couch just as you sat down next to Noel again. But rather than plopping himself down anywhere else, the toddler wedged his tiny frame right between you and Noel, determinedly claiming the space like it was a matter of life and death.

Liam snorted, shaking his head. “Bloody hell, Noel, watch out. Looks like the little one’s about to steal your missus.”

Noel barely spared a glance down at the sudden intruder in his space, just raised an eyebrow before Liam piped in again. “Reckon she’s got a type, then. Clingy, bossy, and about three feet tall.”

You burst into laughter as Lennon, oblivious to the teasing, just snuggled further into you, like he’d already won some great battle.

“Well, I can’t argue with that, can I?” You lifted him into your lap instead, letting him settle in comfortably, absentmindedly smoothing out his hair as he leaned against you.

Noel just shook his head, amused. “Right little charmer, he is.”

Liam scoffed, flopping into the armchair across from you. “Don’t encourage him, man. He’s got enough of that from his mum.”

The conversation drifted into the usual back and forth, jokes flying between you, Liam, and Noel, with Lennon happily nestled in your lap, soaking up the attention. But, of course, with toddlers having the attention span of a goldfish, Lennon soon started wiggling restlessly.

“I’m bored,” he announced dramatically. “Can we play footie? Please?”

Liam raised an eyebrow. “Oi, this isn’t your guest, you know.”

Before he could go on further, you grinned. “Oh, I don’t mind at all, if you'll excuse me for ten minutes.” you said easily, shifting Lennon off your lap and standing up.

Lennon’s face lit up, practically glowing with pride. He turned to his dad with a smug grin. “Look, she wants to play with me.”

Noel snorted, and Liam shot him a glare before looking back at you. “Yeah, yeah, alright, but don’t let him run you ragged. He’s relentless today.”

You ruffled Lennon’s hair. “I think I can handle it.”

With that, you followed the little one outside, letting him dash ahead to grab the ball. The air was crisp but not too cold, the sky still holding onto the last bits of daylight. Lennon wasted no time, rolling the ball toward you with an eager grin.

“Alright,” you said, tapping the ball back toward him. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

The game was chaos from the start. Lennon had all the energy in the world and none of the technique, yet that didn’t stop him from running around like a madman. You tried showing him some basic kick-ups, but he was more interested in dribbling the ball in a messy zigzag and making dramatic goal celebrations every time he got past you.

Inside the house, Noel had half a mind to listen to whatever Liam was going on about, but his attention kept drifting toward the window. His fingers drummed against the armrest, eyes narrowing slightly as he watched you outside. The way you crouched to Lennon’s level, patiently showing him how to control the ball. The way you laughed when he got it wrong but tried again anyway. The way Lennon absolutely adored you.

Liam caught where his gaze had wandered and smirked. “Jesus Christ, look at you.”

Noel turned back, frowning. “What?”

Liam gestured lazily toward the window. “You’re bloody mesmerised. Don’t think I’ve seen you look that in love with owt that isn’t a guitar.”

Noel scoffed, but his gaze flickered back outside, where Lennon had just tackled you in an overly enthusiastic hug after managing to kick the ball past you.

Liam smirked. “Baby fever, is it?”

“Shut up.” Noel muttered, sinking further into the couch.

Liam laughed. “Nah, mate, I get it. She’s good with him. Natural, even.” He leaned back, arms crossed. “Bet you’re thinkin’ about it now, aren’t ya?”

Noel rolled his eyes. “You're a bloody wind up merchant, you.”

Liam just grinned. “Say what you want, but I bet if I walked out there right now and told her you wanna put a ring on it, you wouldn’t even deny it.”

Noel glared at him. “You do that, and you’ll be the one buried in the garden.”

Liam just laughed harder, but Noel ignored him, letting his gaze drift back out the window, watching as you ran around with the toddler, both of you grinning like it was the best day ever.

After a while, you and Lennon made your way back inside, slightly breathless, your shirt damp from running around with him. As you stepped into the living room, you wiped your forehead dramatically.

“You were right,” you said to Liam, shaking your head. “He’s a bit relentless today. We’re gonna grab some water, yeah?”

But Lennon had other ideas. “No!” he piped up, bouncing on his feet. “I wanna show them the song!”

That got Noel and Liam’s attention. Noel leaned forward slightly, intrigued, while Liam raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah?” you asked, crouching down to his level. “You sure? No water first?”

Lennon ignored that completely, puffing his little chest out. Then, with all the confidence in the world, he started singing.

"Blue moon… you saw me standing alone…”

He got through the first few lines, not quite in tune, words a bit jumbled, but the effort was undeniable. When he finished, he stood there beaming, waiting for approval.

You clapped immediately, grinning. “That was brilliant, Lennon!” Then, you turned to Liam, shaking your head. “I’m actually disgusted, Liam. How could he not know the club anthem before?”

Lennon, catching onto your tone, gasped and looked up at his dad, eyes wide with betrayal, clearly not wanting to miss the opportunity to tell his dad off with you behind his back.

“Yeah, what she said.”

Liam groaned. “Oh, come on—why are you two ganging up on me in me own house?”

Noel let out a quiet chuckle, shaking his head. “Looks like you’ve lost this one, our kid.”

You smirked. “Might be time to admit you’ve failed as a parent, Liam.”

Liam pointed at you, shaking his head. “You’re a terrible influence.”

“Oh, don’t be dramatic,” you teased, running a hand through Lennon’s hair. “You’re just bitter ‘cause I got there first.”

Liam scoffed. “He’s just three! I was gonna teach him.”

Noel just continued watching the whole thing unfold, arms crossed as he leaned back into the couch. But something about the scene—you, standing there, Lennon practically attached to your side, both of you smirking at Liam like you were conspiring against him—was doing something to him. And the fact that you’d been the one to teach him Blue Moon? That just sealed it.

Liam, of course, clocked it immediately. He turned to Noel with a knowing smirk. “Oi, you alright there, mate? You’re lookin’ a bit—what’s the word? Smitten?”

Noel scowled. “Oh give over.”

But Liam was already laughing. “Oh, this is great. You’re gone, mate. Completely gone.”

You turned back to Noel, raising an eyebrow. “What’s he on about?”

Noel just shook his head, but the smile was already creeping onto his lips. “Nothin’. He’s just windin' me up.”

Before you could press him, Lennon tugged at your sleeve. “Can I sing it again?”

You grinned, reaching for his hands. “Course you can, rockstar.”

As Lennon launched into another—somehow even less accurate—rendition of Blue Moon, Noel pulled you down beside him. He then leaned in and pressed a kiss to your temple.

It was so natural, that for a second you almost didn’t react. But then you glanced at him, catching that little smirk of his, and felt warmth spread through your chest.

Noel’s voice was low, just for you. “I love you, y’know. To the moon and back.”

_________________________________________

I loved this, big thanks to @tashi-3 for the request, hope you liked it love !!

I know the picture doesn't match that well but he just looked too good not to put it in, biblical side profile x

[sixdegreesofbali]

So uh... Where's that community service for Charles? Why has there been no outcome to that 'investigation'? They had no problem dishing that out to Max on the same evening.

Where is that statement from the drivers that was supposed to come in Mexico (or cota?) in regards to the cursing issue?

Why was everyone so up in arms over this 3 weeks ago, yet barely anyone is asking these questions now??

I swear, people have the attention spans of a goldfish.

[demonpiratehuntress]

helloooo!!! can i ask strawhats reactions with a nakama reader who just LOVES doing her nails and every time they have a chill day she takes her sweet time doing it?

sure thing! :) sorry for the long wait, I've been busy with work, university and soccer, and it's been difficult for me to be online during Ramadan because of the fast and other things i have to do, but i hope you enjoy this!

taglist - @kabloswrld

manicure

featuring - Zoro x F!Reader, Luffy x F!Reader, Usopp x F!Reader, Sanji x F!Reader

summary - the ask :)

warnings - none

ZORO

It's not often that the crew gets to take a day off and relax, but when you do you take full advantage of it. It's the only time you get to yourself, when you can do anything you want without having the other Straw Hats in your face all the time. Normally you stay in your room and do your nails, but today a certain swordsman was curious to know what you do on days off, so here he was in your room watching you.

"What's the point of that?" He deadpanned, watching the stroke of the paint-tipped brush over your nail.

You looked up at him, beaming, "It looks pretty!"

"It looks-" He sighed. "Okay."

Silence fell between you two again as you continued painting your nails, a (vibrant/dark) shade of (colour). You could tell that Zoro had more questions, probably about the necessity of your hobby, but you pointedly ignored him.

"Are you done yet?" His gruff voice rang out a few minutes later.

"Yes!" You grinned, holding up your hand, "With one hand!"

He groaned, rubbing his face, "This is boring."

"Well nobody said you had to be here, grumpy," you teased.

"i thought you'd do something more exciting. And fun."

"HEY," you protested, "This is fun! For me!"

The swordsman rolled his eyes, and you narrowed yours, "Maybe you should try it and see."

"No thanks."

"Then how about I paint yours too?"

"I can't think of anything I want less than that."

You pouted, but resumed painting your nails. When you were finished with your other hand, you turned to show Zoro proudly, only to find that he was fast asleep. You were disappointed for just a moment before smirking, realising that this was an opportunity for you.

So you painted his nails too, and then hid when he woke up.

LUFFY

Luffy gets bored when there's nothing for the crew to do. Unlike the rest of you, who enjoy the day off and take time to relax, he cannot sit still. He doesn't understand the concept of relaxing, because he's always bouncing off the walls and begging one of you to entertain him. Which is as difficult as it sounds, because he has the attention span of a goldfish.

"(Name), what do you do on days like this?"

You almost jumped out of your skin when the captain appeared at your shoulder suddenly. You dropped the small bottle of (colour) nail polish and watched as some dribbled out and onto your desk.

"Luffy!"

"Sorry," he apologised, but didn't sound like he was really sorry. Or look it, since he was grinning like the gremlin he was.

You sighed and picked the bottle up, cleaning the spilled polish, "I'm just doing my nails. Wanna watch?"

He nodded excitedly, curious about what that actually meant. When he saw you brush the paint on your nail, he oo'ed and ah'ed at the sight. To him it was fascinating how the colour settled on your nail when you finished painting.

But after a few fingers, he started to get bored and fidgety.

"(Name), how long is this going to take?"

"I still have the other hand, Luffy!" You laughed.

He pouted, but continued watching nonetheless. He was fascinated by how the colour stayed on your nails, and when you were done with both hands he jumped up excitedly.

"Now we can go do something more fun!" He grinned.

"No!" You shook your head. "I have to wait for it to dry, and then put another layer, and then wait for that to dry."

He groaned and sat back down, putting his chin in his palms like a little kid. He was going insane with boredom, and you were just happily sitting there painting your nails.

"If you want, Luffy, I can paint yours too."

He seemed thrilled by the idea, until he bounded out of your room to show the others as soon as you were done, and came back whining that it got smudged.

Sigh.

SANJI

This man is possible the only Straw Hat that could watch you do literally anything, no matter how long or how boring, without complaining. He is the only one who will be happy to sit with you for hours doing the most mundane things, because to him the time spent with you is worth it. So the minute you asked him for company, he didn't even let you finish before he was dragging you off to your room.

"Do you want to choose a colour?" You asked him, laughing as you showed him your assortment of nail polish colours.

He was more than happy to do that, and eagerly showed you a (bright/pastel) (colour) bottle. When you smiled and thanked him, he practically melted.

He's also the most patient of all of them. He doesn't mind that it takes forever to get just one hand done, nor does he mind that after you let it dry you have to apply another coat.

"How does it look?" You asked him, holding your hand up with a smile.

His answer is nothing short of what you expect, and he looks at your nails with heart eyes.

"It looks so pretty (Name)! Just like you!"

He might even offer to do it for you, and if you let him you find out that he's surprisingly good at it. Maybe even better than you. He takes longer, but that's because he wants it to be perfect for you. He honestly has no qualms about spending the entire day doing this with you, you will not hear a single complaint from him.

"Thanks, SanjI! Do you want me to do yours now?" You ask him teasingly, then get surprised when he eagerly holds out his hands for you to do whatever you want with. "Okay, which colour?"

And now that he knows you do this on every free day you guys get, he's at your door before you can even ask anyone if they want to choose a colour.

USOPP

Usopp knows what everyone does whenever the crew gets a day off. Everyone but you. You just slink off to your room with a smile and no one sees you for hours. Normally Usopp wouldn't think much of it, but as it happens more and more he gets curious to know what exactly you're doing. It also may be an excuse to get away from an overexcited Luffy who wants to tinker with his explosives.

He doesn't know how to feel about what he discovers.

"Usopp! Great!" You exclaim, pulling him into your room to show him what you were doing. "Would this colour look better, or this one?" You held up two different colours, confusing the poor sharpshooter.

"Look better for what?" He asked nervously, his first thought being that you wanted to paint something on a piece of paper.

"My nails!" You beam, showing him your bare nails. "Which colour matches my skin tone better, do you think?"

He blabbers out some kind of response, then points to the (colour) polish in your right hand. You smile and get to work, and he just stands there awkwardly until he sees you actually applying the paint on your nails.

"You just...paint your nails?" He asked, confused on how that would be fun.

"Yep!"

Deciding it was better than being bugged by Luffy, Usopp sat down and just watched you for a few minutes. That's how long it took for him to get bored, but he was too shy to say it.

"So this is why no one sees you for hours on our days off?" He asked, "The reason is way more boring than I thought it would be."

"Hey!" You protested, painting his nose (colour).

Usopp is in between Sanji and the other two. He's not very impatient, but he's not patient either. He will sit there and watch, and get bored, but he won't say anything about it until he either hears someone pass by or has had enough and pretends to cough and come up with another fake illness.

"You know, I have this rare disease called the-smell-is-killing-me-itis, it's pretty contagious so I should just-"

"Sit down," you interrupted him, "Cause I want to paint yours now."

"W-what?! No! Then I'll look like-I mean I'm allergic-"

"Sit down."

[evilbihan]

I'm not going to acknowledge that person by name because I have no wish to interact further with her, nor to have others find her and give her any attention. But with Noob Saibot being brought back, I remembered this rancid take they had, quote: "Bi-Han is a man who has time and time again become Noob Saibot, a man whose endings have shown the Netherrealm is where he wanted to be" which is wild af to say.

Because Bi-Han doesn't just 'become" Noob, he is literally made into Noob. Quan Chi resurrected him as a wraith that turned him into Noob Saibot and now Titan Havik tortures him and uses some insane magic even Liu Kang doesn't know, to turn him into Noob. It's not like some magical girl transformation. We're talking awful evil stuff being done to Bi-Han against his will, to warp him into this being known as Noob Saobot, who is stripped of his humanity and almost everything that made Bi-Han who he was.

And Bi-Han never wanted to end up in the Neatherrealm. In the previous timelines he literally had no choice. He was forced into the role of assassin. He was molded into one practically from birth. In Mythologies when he goes into the Neatherrealm he's informed that his soul is already tainted with evil, which is why he can exist there. That's not because he simply woke up one day and decided to kill some Gods for shits and gigs. He had to do what he was ordered to do or be a traitor to the clan and marked for death anyway. It was a lose lose situation. If anything this shows that Bi-Han was never where he wanted to be. His strings were always being pulled by someone else. History is repeating itself now. And leaks even say that Liu Kang doesn't fault him for his desires, but only the ways he goes about achieving his ends. Which further proves Bi-Han doesn't have some nefarious plots in mind with the deliberate intention of landing himself in the Neatherrealm.

She said she doesn't hate Bi-Han, but then this reads as a deep missunderstanding of his character. And at that point, if you can misinterpret his character to that degree, you probably don't like him much either.

Another day, another take so stupid it makes me want to never interact with anything MK related ever again.

Oh, who am I kidding? The trailer already achieved that.

Needless to say, you're 100% correct and this person, whoever they are, is obviously not the sharpest tool in the shed. People who think Bi-Han wanted any of this are either being ignorant on purpose and want to misunderstand his character because they hate him or they're so blatantly stupid they don't understand the very simple fact that Bi-Han being turned into Noob Saibot always happened against his will in every damn timeline.

Does it look like Bi-Han tied himself to that damn wheel we see in the trailer? Does this person have the attention span of a goldfish and just missed the part where he looks terrified out of his mind when those drills/needles approach him?

For goodness' sake, I didn't want to talk about the trailer because watching it made me want to gauge my own eyeballs out. I never felt this sick looking at something in my life (that's coming from someone who plays horror and fighting games on the regular) and yet here we are and I'm talking about it regardless now. I hate it here.

But anyway, you're right. What more can I say? Anyone with even an ounce of common sense would know that. Anyone who has ever played any of the Mortal Kombat games should know that Bi-Han was forcefully turned into Noob Saibot. He was never evil. He was always a neutral character and he's still a neutral character in the New Era.

What more confirmation do you need outside of Liu Kang himself admitting that there's nothing wrong with Bi-Han's ambitions, only with his methods of achieving them? Ashrah says Bi-Han can be redeemed, Bi-Han said only people who don't understand him would mistake him for evil, the Lin Kuei all stand behind Bi-Han and support him... He isn't evil and he never was.

He literally saves Liu Kang's entire stupid trainwreck of a timeline single-handedly in this DLC and people still have the audacity to say he's evil?

I wish he was.

I wish Bi-Han would just sit back and watch Havik destroy Liu Kang's timeline along with all the pitiful hypocrites in it. I wish he'd let all of the fandom's pathetic favorites get torn to shreds and laugh.

But he won't. Because Bi-Han is a good and honorable man deep down.

Disagree and be wrong. It's as simple as that.

PS: Wasn't MK:Mythologies Sub-Zero all about Bi-Han trying to avoid ending up in the Netherrealm? He reacted with shock and concern to being told his soul is tainted with evil by Raiden and he was trying to turn his life around. There's even an ending in one of the older games where he kills Shang Tsung and leaves the Lin Kuei with the prize money from the tournament. Bi-Han never wanted to end up in the Netherrealm. Claiming anything else would be ignoring canon lore.

[kasssscali]

I find it funny that Monkey King can't read or write... Si, how about if reader tries to teach him?

Monkey is a little embarrassed that he can’t read

The great sage equal to heaven can barely read a sentence

he tries his best to act like he can, but obviously you can see right through that

if you offer to teach him he’ll push you away “pffffft! Why would I need YOU to teach me how to read?”

Give him some time you don’t want to bother him by pressuring him

But don’t worry, in a while he’ll start thinking more about the sake of his education and reading skills. It might take some time though

The two of you would start off small with a children’s book, sitting side to side

you thought persuading him was the difficult task? It’s actually TEACHING

my monkey man has the attention span of a goldfish

the first couple minutes of you sitting down, his head is already somewhere else

you might need to address this problem, and explain that you need his full attention and focus in order to teach him how to read

your words will get to him, he likes to see you annoyed but also slightly hurt by your annoyance just slightly

Second times the charm, you’ll sit down in the grass with your legs crossed, he’ll crouch down by your side his head peering over your shoulder as you two read the book in your hands

he likes hearing your voice, he doesn’t know why… yet ;)

he’ll start looking forward to your teachings, you’ll see the eager beaming from his confident smirk and vivid green eyes

[rayshippouuchiha]

Raaayyy omg why did I do this to myself I promised myself I would never start a multi-chapter project since I have the attention span of a goldfish with ADHD and yet now I find myself 35k and 7 chapters deep into a Naruto×One Piece fix-it crossover fic with the end absolutely nowhere in sight and somehow all my carefully curated bullet point list of things to make happen has been thrown away somewhere in the middle of chapter 3 when the characters took hold of their own story and wrestled it free from my weak grasp

Someone send help

Make sure you hydrate, stretch your hands, and go with god my darling.

[sopiao]

hello! can i please request König with a femreader that’s just the embodiment of a cotton ball, a white bunny, a dandelion :))) like she dresses super coquette or semi lolita with cute ruffle skirts and bright colors, loves small critters and spring, gets distracted and excited super easily. and König is just so in love with her x)

don’t feel pressured to write this, ignore if it’s too much or if you’re too busy. make sure to drink water

-☁️

I LOVE LOVE LOVE DESCRIPTIVE REQS LIKE THIS OMG!!! dw bbgs i’ll write anything for y’all :3

ANYWAYS I HOPE I WROTE IT OUT GOOD T-T

I just know that König is one to spoil you, knowing what you like and what you’ve been wanting. And when he sees it, he’ll take no longer than half a second to make up his decision to buy it for you.

Coming back early from deployment he wanted to surprise you, he hadn’t told you that he got out yet. He knocks on the door, waiting for you to answer with a bouquet of your favorite combination of flowers and a gift behind his back.

Smiling at how you excitedly squeal and immediately just jump into his arms. Using both arms to hug and pick you up off your feet, feeling something soft and plush against your back, you step back as he holds up his gift for you.

It’s a huge Rilakkuma plushie that’s holding a small strawberry in it’s hands. Jumping up excitedly you engulf him and the plush animal in a tight hug. Showing both of your bears love.

—

It’s so funny to think about him letting you decorate the bedroom with your own little trinkets, plushies, posters and bedsheets. So every night he shuts off the pastel purple bed light and snuggles up into you under the white ruffled comforter with little cheesy accents on it.

—

Almost every three months you get a new interest into a new hobby. First it was with painting, he dedicated an empty room in the house just for you and your little studio. He picked out the biggest spare room with a big window for you to look at while you painted. König made sure to frame your favorite one in the living room and his favorite in his office.

Then it was sewing and tailoring you’re own clothes, which helped a lot with fitting König’s shirts since double xl shirts are long enough but too loose. And you got to make and tailor your own clothes for cute little dates, flowery sundresses with ruffles, adding a white lace trim to your clothes. (omg i’m rambling)

Which turned into embroidery, where you patched every little hole in you and König’s clothes and bedsheets with small flowers.

So when you trot up into his office and show him a picture of a crocheted bunny plush he’s more than happy to take you down to your favorite craft store and watch you pick out different colored yarns and different size hooks for other projects. His heart is just too soft for you to say no.

—

König loves taking you out to the city during events he knows you’ll love. Walking around with you, more like trying to keep track of you. You have the attention span of a goldfish so whenever you see something you like you drop everything and go look at it.

It won’t so far that he had ti tie a balloon to your wrist to make sure he won’t lose you. He just paid for a trinket you were so fascinated with. When he looked back you were already out if the store and into the busy streets, something catching you’re eye again.

It really was a sight to see a small lady wandering through the streets with such an adorable look and fashion with you’re 6’10 fiancé holding all your new things for you.

—

Now that he’s a colonel he’s more stern with when and how long he gets deployed for. So when spring rolls around, he’s sure that no one from work will bother him and his schedule is cleared. He knows how much you love the spring, how perfect the weather is, how it’s the perfect time for flowers.

König makes sure whatever you wanna do, it’ll happen right when you want it. His favorite thing to do with you is going apple picking, it’s when you have the most motivation to bake apple everything.

Cinnamon apple pie that has beautiful dough decorations, caramel apple cookies, apple cobbler, apple cider donuts, apple fritters, and apple cinnamon oatmeal cookies. König just loves seeing you covered in flower and frosting with your gingham blue apron wrapped around you.

He loves how he gains a little weight during this time of the year with how much you bake and feed him. It’s how you show your love. Either way you love the little bit of his chubbyness, who doesn’t?

—

The first time he let his comrades come over for dinner to meet you, it really was something to see their colonel just melt in your arms when he greets you at the door, introducing his team to you as they take in the warm and cozy atmosphere of your home.

The lighting was soft and comforting, accents and decorations that you picked out was littered all over the house. They didn’t even know he was engaged, let alone a home with you, they all thought he lived in an apartment by himself.

For as long as they’ve known him they would’ve never thought that his home would look like this or give off this type of feeling. They were amazed with how contrasted your and his personality was.

—

König believes that in every relationship everything should be 50/50. So, while you enjoy resting out new recipes for dinner tonight, or making something you saw on instagram, and just overall coating the house and his life in your own little charm.

He does the more controlled and routine stuff. Cleaning and dishes. And sometimes you two clean the house together and listen to music on the speakers. What he loves the most is the laundry.

He loves seeing the mix of his clothes with yours, his boxers getting mixed with your pair of white thigh length socks with a small bow and at the top. He loves separating and folding the clean laundry, folding your pleated blue skirt, and matching white and blue top. He always remembers what outfit you made with each piece of clothing.

[kristinagehrmann]

Art portfolio website advice!

What are your favorite tips you would give to someone building their illustration portfolio website? 🔥 My website is www.kristinagehrmann.com and here are some of my tips:

1. SHOW YOUR WORK IMMEDIATELY

Online marketing experts already knew this 20+ years ago: the more clicks someone has to do to get to the sauce, the lower your conversion rate (or the sooner they give up, or whatever you want to call it).

Assume that we all have the attention span of a goldfish, and you might have minimal time to capture your audience's attention. You want to wow people with your artwork right away. I currently do this with my main category of (mostly) fantasy art, which is the one I'm most interested in finding new work in - it is the homepage of my website. No clicks needed to get there!

2. SORT BY MARKET, NOT MEDIUM

I often see young illustrators arranging their website in categories like "traditional" and "digital". But for the most part, our clients don't care what we draw with. Instead they're asking: "Does the art suit my product/projects?"

Therefore it's best to think from the perspective of the industry (industries) or market(s) you want to target. Categorise your art what it's used for, or what niche of the market it looks like.

For example, you might do childrens' book illustration but also have artwork (that looks like it's) for the middle grade or YA publication market. Then it makes sense to arrange your portfolio in these 2 categories. Of course you can just focus on one single thing - some of the best illustrators do only one thing. Either way is fine!

(If you have no idea yet what you really want to do, research and explore what is out there and think about where your art could fit in, but that's a whole journey and a topic for another day)

I currently use 3 categories: History (for my history-themed work for publishing, boardgames and museums), Kids/YA for everything for a younger audience (not much in there yet, more to come), and Main (for everything else, mostly fantasy themed stuff). All these are categories I love to work in, and where I want to be hired to do more similar things.

3. BE EASY TO CONTACT

Notice something in all these screenshots? My email address is on every page! And no, I don't have serious spam issues - on average I get about 1-5 spam emails per day, but I think that's a small price to pay for my dream job.

Don't be stingy with your email -- make it un-missable for your clients. 99% of all art directors prefer email.

Contact forms can exist alongside, but clients don't like them very much because there is no record of the message they sent, and in some cases they just plain don't work.

4. RIGHT CLICK & SAVE

This one might be controversial, but since thieves will steal our images anyway if they want to (anyone can do a screenshot, and right-click and save is easy enough on social media), and we need to post everywhere anyways, we might as well make images on our websites saveable.

On Muddycolors an art director talks about preferring to do just that in order to keep track of artists for future projects.

From the preview images on my website you can right click and save (not the larger ones - that's where Portfoliobox, my website builder has its limits). Have your name somewhere in the images too, so your dream client can easily identify them as yours. Having your name in the filename might be a good idea too (I should probably get started on that).

I hope this was helpful. Feel free to share your own website tips. ❤️ Or fight me! 😂

[academicfever]

Books I Read in January 2025 feat. Feb TBR list

I often think I resemble a fish—probably a goldfish—because of my inability to retain useful information. However, this year, I’m making a conscious effort to change that. What’s the point of reading and unlocking new worlds if the experience slips away too quickly?

Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business – Neil Postman, Andrew Postman (Introduction) This book made me uncomfortable in the best way possible. It’s a dissection of how entertainment-driven media has eroded our ability to engage in serious discourse. The comparisons between Orwell’s 1984 and Huxley’s Brave New World hit hard—turns out, we didn’t need totalitarianism when we had mindless amusement.

Co-Intelligence: Living and Working with AI – Ethan Mollick A book that made me rethink AI—not as some sci-fi horror, but as a tool that could shape our work and lives. Mollick makes it clear that AI isn't replacing us (yet?), but those who understand it will have a serious advantage. It left me oscillating between excitement and existential dread.

Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection – Charles Duhigg A book about talking—but in a way that actually makes people listen. Duhigg explores what makes certain conversations powerful, and it had me thinking about every interaction I’ve ever had. It’s one of those books that make you want to overhaul your entire communication style immediately.

Madonna in a Fur Coat – Sabahattin Ali A quiet, melancholic novel that sneaks up on you. It’s about a man, a woman, and a love that was both everything and nothing. The prose is simple but cuts deep, and by the end, I felt like I had lost something too. A book that lingers long after you close it.

Why Machines Learn: The Elegant Math Behind Modern AI – Anil Ananthaswamy Math and I have a complicated relationship, but this book made it a little less painful. It breaks down how AI actually works—no fluff, no hype, just the logic behind the algorithms. Did I grasp all of it? Probably not. But it made me appreciate machine learning in a way I didn’t before.

Fahrenheit 451 – Ray Bradbury I had read this before, but rereading it now—when attention spans are at an all-time low—was a completely different experience. The idea of a world where books are banned and people willingly give up thinking? Hits too close to home. If you haven’t read it, you should. If you have, read it again.

The Beggar Student – Osamu Dazai A book I didn’t expect to love as much as I did. It follows a student struggling to survive in an unforgiving society, and I saw pieces of myself in his resilience and quiet despair. It’s one of those stories that make you feel something profound, even if you can’t quite put it into words.

Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind – Yuval Noah Harari A book that zooms out so far on humanity that you start questioning everything. Harari takes you from ancient hunter-gatherers to the tech-driven chaos we live in now, and he does it with wit and insight. It made me feel both small and incredibly significant at the same time.

My TBR List for February:

Dostoevsky in Love: An Intimate Life – Alex Christofi

The Western Intellectual Tradition: From Leonardo to Hegel – Jacob Bronowski, Bruce Mazlish

The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture – Gabor Maté, Daniel Maté

Politics On the Edge: A Memoir From Within – Rory Stewart

Dead Souls – Nikolai Gogol, Robert A. Maguire (Translator)

The Abundance – Annie Dillard

We Could Have Been Friends, My Father and I: A Palestinian Memoir – Raja Shehadeh

I hope to reclaim a deeper connection with books this year—to challenge myself to focus, absorb, and, most importantly, reflect. What are you reading this month? Let’s share recs and thoughts in the comments.

[theoneandonlysemla]

I know she's not out yet but for the love of Talos indulge me.

How would Moromayonaise react to Snow White? Just one day a witch with the attention span of a goldfish and the hyperactivity of a small dog starts following him around with hearts floating above her head?

Okay, first we need to determine if it is “Boethiah’s Wrath”- or “The Curse of Molag Bal” - Morotrash. They do share most of their personality, but there is a very important character trait (I call it that in lack of a better word) to him in part 1 that misses in part two. Can’t talk about it here because of spoilers and you have to read the fic to find that one out 😌

Anyway, part 1 Moroturd is very occupied with archiving his goal in the fic, so in the course of the story, he’d probably ignore her. Maybe use her a little to get Nevri jealous. He just helps her to realise what she feels with that, you know? Very lovely and nice of him 🙂‍↕️ Yet there would be nothing but simple flirtation and he’d shove her away the minute it’s enough in his eyes. But if we get him out of the narrative, sure why wouldn’t he make use of her? As much as I’ve understood about her character, she’s very naive and he’d love to play with that. Maybe have his way with her, some fun and so on and then find use for her in uuhhhh other ways. Sacrificial maybe? Dunno. Really difficult to speak about this without going into the details of the story 😅

And part 2 Morotar? Hell, he’d be so fucking annoyed. He’s even annoyed by his fiancé that he does not want and so this man gets really nasty to be left alone. He can be so mean, really finds out your insecurities and bites into them, chokes you with those. Thalmor training and so on, he reads you like an open book and picks out what feels worst for you. He’d make poor Snow White so sad 😞 And he’d all be like “I have more important things to do” (Very Ancano-coded). But in secret, it feeds his ego to be admired in that way 😁 (Idiot man behaviour)

[superkooku]

Theseus being the "dumb muscle" is so accurate, lmao. He needed help getting out of a labyrinth, a singular path that just curls in on itself. AND HIM GOING ALONG WITH PIRITHOUS' STUPID KIDNAPPING PLAN

This is gonna be fun 🤣. Thanks for the ask.

I initially said that because Superman is associated with the dumb muscles guy superhero, which doesn't represent him well at all.

And Perseus is shown in the same way in some retellings : as a guy who can't think things through, is bad with women and screws everything up, which is just as inaccurate.

Heracles is very strong but can also scheme, Achilles is more "angry muscle guy", Odysseus is mr. Schemer (except that one time he doxxed himself), etc...

Theseus ? Sorry buddy, but you have the attention span of a goldfish. He and Pirithous are like "Dumb and dumber", istg 🤣🤣🤣. Exactly for the reasons you mentioned.

The Underworld plan was so stupid !! Trying to kidnap a goddess in her husband's domain, which is the realm of the dead. And you guys are mortals. They're lucky they didn't end up in Tartarus 🤣. I guess Persephone was in a good mood. Instead, Hades gave them the funniest punishment ever. It's one of my favorite stories because it's so hilariously dumb.

Other not so smart things Theseus did (though we can explain them, they're still dumb)

Ordering his son's death after an accusation without proof. I know he was shocked after Phaedra's death, so his emotions were strong and that Aphrodite orchestrated the whole thing... but he seriously thought the guy who adamantly worships Artemis and doesn't get near from women raped his stepmother. At least the exile idea was better, because he could backtrack. But no, he had to die. He's either a terrible father and doesn't spend time with Hippolytus or has a bad memory. Tbf the second option is more likely 🤣.

And I love how, in some latin sources, Asclepius resurrects Hippolytus but at Artemis' demand. Not Theseus', even when it's technically his fault. Did he just forget about that ?

Well, at least he felt bad about it and Hippolytus had the time to forgive him in Euripides' play.

The black sails thing. Zero excuse for this one. Aegeus should have been more patient but still, Theseus was warned about his dad's decision and yet forgot. You'd think he'd try to avoid forgetting things after leaving Ariadne on the island 🤣

Anon, you're so right about the Labyrinth thing. Without Ariadne's help, he would've just been stuck. With 6 other people who counted on him. And Minos laughing.

The abandonment of Ariadne is debatable. Sometimes it's divine intervention (tbf, seeing Theseus' future probably made Dionysus/Athena too worried not to take her out of this mess). But I'd totally picture Theseus just forgetting to take her out of Naxos, because, again, memory of a goldfish. And then just confusing Phaedra for her and marrying her instead 🤣. Yes it's a funny headcannon backed out by zero source, but I'm sorry : marrying your ex's sister is weird.

Kidnapping kid Helen isn't dumb. Just veeery weird and icky. Fortunately, Castor and Pollux could pull her out of Theseus' palace when he was stuck in the Underworld.

A funny coincidence : Theseus wanted to marry a child of Zeus. Instead, it's Ariadne who did and built a family with him, while Theseus failed 🤣. Is it a coincidence, or was he jealous that his ex got someone better and deemed himself more worthy of Zeus's descendants ?

The first option is 100% the correct one, but the second would be funny (though not backed up by any source)

One I don't see mentioned : Poseidon offers him three wishes at one point. He only uses one of them... to kill his son. He didn't think about using one or two to, idk, regain the throne of Athens after it was stolen from him. Not making wishes when needed is a true proof of goldfish memory.

And then he died pushed from a cliff.

Does Theseus have qualities ? Yes. He's a decent king and he still saved the Athenians from getting eaten by a monster. My arguments show why Theseus is kinda dumb, not that he's evil or morally wrong (except the Helen one maybe).

If anything, it makes him human. Dumb people exist, dumb leaders too, even if they make great things.

(btw Jason is a good contender for second place, though. Abandoning your witch wife, who killed her brother for you, is NOT a smart move.)