#yes sai is part of the group now
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This is awesome!
drew a load of narts
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20/10 stars little guy
#me (scrounging undetected autist whose ideal fashion sense is ''if i have to be seen at all: shrouded'') seeing encanto the other month.....#and on top of it all i LOVE slice of life. encanto being so focused on What It's About that there's so much of that + character / dynamic#also part of what i loved abt pixar luca. ppl like ''simple story but not a problem :)'' like YEAH thank god it's Also so slice of lifey#2021 what a year lol. though again i only Just saw encanto....tfw Studio Creative Control backs off a bit more than usual: Joy & Wonders#anyway i knew going in bruno wasn't an antagonist (fine if he was though b/c slay & b/c scapegoats can do whatever they want)#knew i'd love him b/c again Scapegoat shows up & i'm the Amazing Showstopping Totally Unique Never The Same gif on loop#but what a delight even beyond those expectations lol. love again how Focused the movie is on What It's About & Thee Points it makes#the Characters / Dynamics & the Metaphor & the plot stays right with all of that. the focus & importance re: thee scapegoats....#& bruno being disabled like whole layer of Yay Yay Yay spamming. that even when He's Back we're reminded he's not ''normal now'' or w/e#(i.e. presenting that as The Good Ending for the disabled outcast. vs just being embraced as part of the group again & accepted As He Is)#meanwhile was like hmm chat is there queercoding do we think? like is he queer: Yes. but is there coding? hmm#sure isn't cishet coded though. but i was also having the thought like fellas is it gay to [higher tenor tessitura or w/e] lol#made me go ''do i know this voice? ok do i know this name / face / actor? (i have never seen anything ever / bad w/names/faces/voices)''#indeed was like yeah haven't seen this; heard of this; seen it once ages ago no way i remember more than like 0.6 details#then from ''ohh haha I'm A Mammal That Cares....yeah i hear that'' to ''omg CHI-CHI RODRIGUEZ???? ;;0;;'' waaah fantastic revelation lmao#also the way Literal Future Seer ability was externalized to make it more wrangleable for plot is so impressive & fun & excellent#got a lot of [i like this thing i saw a lot] i got to say....guess i can do that w/the sideblog i made for one drawing i made last night#encanto 2021#bruno madrigal#also the way bruno is so Nervous + Hiding / Bold + Big Personality like yes ha ha ha Yes....tamped down as ''too much'' experience#also the [stuttering stumbling muttering mumbling] line: i fr nigh wept upon going back over a moment like what am i hearing here?#& realizing the answer was: it's bruno quietly stuttering a moment during this one line (& then (& then (& then)) i saw you) ;;;mm;;;#hang onnn....the first scapegoat who's driven off being Disabled is so real so ;m; that again they're like so he got Weirder; Okay ;;m;;#that we get jorge thumbs up nobody having an Aside to be like [ugh; this guy] or Anything. augh always have too much to say for 30 tags#fabric drape there sure not accurate but i was like okay if i try to really reference that i'm not getting this done tonight
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I'm pretty suprise with 4.7 database, hoyo decided to sailing Sethos x Wanderer (additionaly HaiKaveh become more closer) and how heartwarming Sigewinne character story could be...
#genshin impact#clorinde#sethos#sigewinne#nothing unusual from clorinde so I can't say anything#while sethos morelike another pieces hoyo put for sumeru members#there's one info interesting enough to mention aside he's blend very well on sumeru members (lol)#in sethos character story there's line saying hat guy doing errands for example delivering a letter#now the question parts : whom nahida sent letter to that needs to be secret and fast ?#except his own people like alhaitam or cyno I only think one group#yes other archons#for what reasons ? i think it's same question as ei yae music event last scene convo#if in next one or two small event happens to be at liyue or mondstad means we need to read closely (lol)#for sigewinne side I very interest in her story quest#i expect things like neuvi story quest#but to my suprise nothing angst happened at sigewinne character story ?#overall it's so heartwarming#and additionaly just how airhead wrio can be (lol)#even from your childhood time he basically said “I hold you dear” sir#now it escalate into “I will do anything for you”#and about things with sethos line on haikaveh really funny#with how I perceive sethos normally it should be he tells us about kaveh being friends of tighnari cyno and he meets him at forest or alike#BUT sethos decided it's more memorable for them came as one and talks mundane things (lol)#it's like JUST HOW MANY TIMES he saw them together !?#it's so funny like wow what they become now from years ago (lol)
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"why didn't you call out oliver for not defending the actresses when they were getting bullied but only want him to say something when it's a white man" well you see, that's funny because i did oppose to those actresses getting bullied, now can we address why YOU 🫵 were bullying those actresses 🤨
#“why didnt you say anything when those actresses were being harassed???” well now can we talk about why you were harassing them#i am one teenager on tumblr what the fuck am i supposed to do about olivers cowardness#i said its shitty you're all mean to ana and then got told to shut the fuck up so :/#and yes you're its misogynistic that suddenly NOW there are so many people WAY more angry#correct#however the people that point this out are often ALSO a part of the group that didnt say anything#911 discourse
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I could elaborate on said negative feelings but that would require not having a runny nose
#but tldr hinduism isn't even a religion in the classical sense like islam or judaism#it's just a category the british pulled out of their asses to group disperate traditions from all over the subcontinent cause they thought#the gods looked similar enough luhmao it's a recently named misnomer and the only thing keeping said misnomer 2gether is caste#abolishing hinduism means doing away with this category and eradicating caste not wiping every “dharmic practice” that originated#in the subcontinent off the planet cuz like it's also just randomly appropriated indigenous traditions too which hmm#<- im eepy and i didnt know how to phrase that...hopefully you get what i mean. historical brahmanism is aaj ka hinduism only just be honest#and say brahmanism wont u. that way you're signalling who it's really for#there are so many practices from all over the subcontinent that are Not casteist please i am on my knees you dont have 2 do that janeu shit#i could go on 4ever but i'll stop i'm actually sad now#but ye it's colonial to label disperate practices for the sake of clerical ease abolishing hinduism doesn't involve the destruction of gods#okay i will explain that part one day. that day is not today i'm going 2 sleep fr#ਰੇਵਾ
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I need to think out loud - feel free to ignore
#I really want to quit the event for trans day of visibility#I just don't see what I can give to the conversation#and I haven't for a while now#there is already a person that does all the posters#when I did the budget it was all wrong#half the ideas I've come up with has been having big holes#and honestly I don't think that comfortable in the group#I feel like I am back at school or university being put in a group for a project that I cannot pull out of because it will affect my grade#or the rest of the group's performance#but there's no grades#there is a performance of sort being the event#and that could still be great#but I don't feel like I have the spoons or the experience for this#I am just smiling (barely) and nodding along#yet a part of me are also scared of dropping out now#there is not a lot of time left#and so it wouldn't be fair on the other people to ditch this last minute#but would it be more fair to let me just tag along not doing anything of value?#and I should probably decide soon since we are getting closer#it is this big dark cloud over my thought rn#I am trying to concentrate on my drawing challenge yet I don't have any joy in it#because all my thoughts go to this event#I don't know what to do#I really don't want to do this#but I did say yes#and I hate tapping out and be seen as untrustworthy as well#micahs thoughts
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ppl who only conditionally care about child abuse based on whether the victim makes them uncomfy while they're being abused contribute to a real life child's abuse by sending hate asks regularly, attempting to gaslight them, calling them terrible names, accusing them of terrible things, telling them directly how much they hate the characters the child relates to and enjoys talking about, and being generally racist and ableist in a way that seriously might have scarred me for life, making a literal teenager hate their hobbies, favorite shows, and the people who enjoy those things, and ultimately cyberbullying a child out of multiple fandoms because they don't want to think critically or acknowledge their own faults, all while being 35 and really embarrassing themselves because someone half their age has a better grasp on the concept of nuance than them: more at 6
but noooo, y'all "love neurodivergent/disabled people," have "racists/ableists DNI" in your bios, and don't say slurs, which is all you have to do to not be racist/ableist, so *I'm* some psycho black bitch and you're a wittle angel like the fictional character you infantilize
(P.S. I swear to fucking god if people respond to this post with "but he sexually assaulted someone" and ignore literally every other personality trait/experience he had that could've been relatable to a child abuse survivor and the way people mistreated me, a real human being, which Charlie is not by the way, I will start doing the things you wanted to do to Ben)
#heartstopper#young royals#ben hope#sara eriksson#<- the main people that are hated so much people will bully kids about it#yes i'm tagging. bc what the fuck is wrong with y'all#i had a more angry one. the ps is a sample from that. but having emotions is kind of cringe and embarrassing#basically uncovering memories about my indi-glo era#is very similar to uncovering memories about the child abuse some people here think i didn't go through at all#because i sympathized with a fellow victim! it's like being abused by my abusers but liberal edition#so i would just like to say you deserve the angry version#i hope you reflect and grow or whatever. that is my brand. BUT#y'all are fragile. and shallow. and you should try actually learning things about a group before you call yourself an ally of any group#this does include groups you are a part of. i'm telling you right now you're not getting it#if you feel so comfortable attacking disabled Black children when they point out ableism and racism in a show you like#and your first/only response is to dismiss ignore and attack them#i would recommend you learn something instead. you desperately need it#thanks for teaching me what racist idiots white people can be and what a fringe case i am in the pop disability community ig#anyways idk if this is self-centered to ask but if anyone who follows this blog would want to take ownership of it#in the event that i decide to blow this popsicle stand pls dm me
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not me seeing the same discourse the land back movement got being repeated for Palestine. 🤨 y'all aren't even trying to think critically.
#specifically i was seeing ppl claim from the river to the sea Palestine will be free as antisemitic#now can ppl be antisemitic under the guise of supporting Palestine? yes i have seen this blatantly#but to act like this slogan is somehow equating the destruction of the Israeli state ( i.e.) govt. with all jewish ppl is disingenuous#I've said it once I'll say it again i do not trust anyone who conflates Israel with all Jewish people#you cannot view israel as 'bad jews'. that black white morality is blatantly antisemitic#it is an unjust state. in the same way many other states are. including the U.S.#in the same way land back never was about kicking out all non indigenous ppl#from the river to the sea palestine will be free is not about the removal of jewish ppl#is the about the removal of an unjust state#problems that happen when non anarchists try to think lol#y'all see yourselves as part of the/a state so much you conflate the two#free palestine#no joke when i saw that post some of the reblogs had tagged israeli palestinian conflict. n had ppl admotting they coulfnt ever say#free palestine cause some ppl have been anti semetic with it 🤨🤨🤨 so you agree grouping large amounts of ppl together for the crimes of a#few is bad??? inchresting you sre doing that same thing
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Was having so much fun replaying p3p that I forgot that this game is bad lol
#the klock keeps ticking#i gotta get my ranting gear on its happening again#just got to the part where its revealed that shadow experiments happened at the school 10 years prior#and yeah its as badly written as I remember lol#like first off it really is just kinda like ‘ah yes the kirijo group experimented on kids and created the dark hour and we’re being#recruited to clean up their mess’ and the only one who seems to care is yukari but then like#oooh she cant be mad after all cuz her dad was in on it or whatever#and my favorite fucking guy Ikutski is there with a smile like ah yes yes the fucked up shit ah well anyways lets keep fighting lol#and its like briefly mentioned so fucking casually that mitsurus family involved her in this shit and forced her to awaken to a persona#when she was like 8 and you know. now she has to act as a tool to clean up their mess#and it’s like hold up now. why arent we talking about this aaaaaaa just gonna drop that bomb and leave#my favorite fucking part though is like afterwards all the little scenes we get of the characters processing this information#none really seeming to care all that much about the fucked up part theyre just like ‘damn the dark hour is gonna end’#and we get some of that iconic p3 dialogue where characters just look into the camera and explain their trauma before walking away#akihiko just goes up to shinji to be like ‘hey lol remember that we’re both orphans and thats how we know each other and also my sister#anyway Keep Looking Forward™️ bye’ and then fuuka looks into the camera like#‘yes btw my parents have an inferiority complex and thats why they abuse me which is why i dont mind being manipulated’#like she just. says that its so funny this game was written by a toaster#its so frustrating cuz the conflict could be so interesting but they handle it soooo boring and ignore all the parts that shouldnt be#oh mitsuru dont worry ill write you a better game to be in#come to the fat lesbian party where we kill the kirijo group with hammers
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Ok, I pull up.
* follows WayV on Spotify *
#not liking the TT so far but the b-sides#MMMMH GOOD STUFF IF YOU ASK ME#also pls vocalist focused group mmmmmmh yes#I can't say the same for a few rap parts I hear on their old works#but well#glad I theu got rid of those as time went by#loved the sub-units songs#only problem are the solists how many of them have the solo career rn?#only one am I right?#or more?#idk...#anyway#I'll keep an eye on them#for now#terestext
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it is weird being an aromantic asexual who is incidentally attractive. like. i just came back from a concert with my friends who have known me for years and know that about me. some of the very few real-life friends who know that about me actually and i only told them relatively recently. regardless. the only reason i had bothered to bring it up w them is that they had seen me in SO many situations that telling them “i’m asexual” was if anything just clarification. just confirmation, like, don’t worry. it’s not an inability to attach to others or whatever. if you can’t tell. like they’d seen me be pursued by quite a few people in our time as friends and at some point it seems like a curious thing if i only ever seem to feel negatively about anyone who’s attracted to me, ever, no matter who it is. and they were understanding and i knew they’d be. yeah.
we were talking on the way back about bucket list concerts we’d still like to see. we saw stromae which was a really big one of mine (my fucking boy btw, i had an amazing time). i mentioned that i don’t have very many, as i’m rarely the person to be like “yeah, let’s go to a concert” unless i have people i know i wanna go with. like i’ve been meaning to see the jonas brothers w my sister and sisters-in-law ever since they came back because it’d be a fun thing for us since we always listen to them together.
but i would genuinely love to see super junior someday, like just for myself, wherever whenever if i was just able to get transportation (i don’t drive). i’ve loved suju for years but i got really back into them in 2020 in the pandemic as a sort of nostalgia comfort thing (but also the music they’ve put out in recent years is like, literally the best in their discography, they just keep getting better w age). and i had to go on this tangent to explain it, right?
in the first months of the pandemic, there was something weird happening to people psychologically. some kind of end-of-the-world loneliness. i mentioned that i had like 5 or 6 different people in my DMs at the time interested in me. not all of them men. and the friend who was driving said “you know, diana, if this were literally anyone else talking, i would think that this is some enormous humblebrag—”
and i like. didn’t even think about it that way. i was just trying to make my point that i had a serious thought in 2020 of like, when the world opened back up, just doing one (1) seriously manipulative thing in my life and convince one of those men who was thirsting for me to buy me tickets to super junior and go with me. it was hypothetical. this hasn’t happened and all but certainly will not. i would not feel good taking advantage of someone’s feelings like that.
but i had to go on a tangent even before that because i was like. oh my goodness. i didn’t even realize that was a humblebrag. i’m sorry. i’m just telling a story.
#the politics of being a pretty young woman#tales from diana#i also wouldn't have felt comfortable telling anyone that anecdote about myself if they had known less about me than my friends i was with#so i guess i wouldn't be in danger of humblebragging. but sometimes i think i do? by mistake.#like when i talk about my social life in the past i always mention no one openly liked me in high school. not one person.#it very much affected how i saw myself. bc bullshit. young girls. male approval. y'know.#but in retrospect now i'm better able to tell when a boy had some kind of crush on me so i might mention it like 'he thought i was cute'#and one time a different friend i had. but one who i have also told im asexual (im trying to do that more) said to me#'you know for how unpopular you say you were in high school it seemed like a lot of ppl liked you'#i mean. yes? it's complicated. i was most certainly not popular i can tell you that.#i was more of a 'hey goob nice binder' 'hey goob wanna hang out at my house after school?' [narration: they all hated me...] kinda kid.#i probably kept myself from making friends wo realizing it but also lots of cliques i would've liked to be part of very much ignored me.#i was hot on the margins. a truly underrepresented social archetype... except that's literally every teen movie so maybe not.#i didn't have a big win in the final act that's the difference.#also before the concert we were talking about one of our other friends who is just. so fuckin funny.#like we were all talking about how much we love him. and they said they had been talking about who in the group chat we're in#has the most 'pull' and im like. pull?#like who could pick up the most ppl successfully. hypothetically.#both of them ranked me high :^) i was like. thank you.#they asked me to ponder on the topic myself and try to come back to it but i think im just confused by the concept of 'pull' itself#stromae has pull. that is all.
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And now, a brief look at the human fucker community on a monster version of tumblr
🐙 WetterThanYou Follow
It's so sad that humans can't breathe underwater, makes bringing them to my lair so much harder
👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow
Was anyone going to tell me humans can't breathe underwater or was I supposed to just learn that from a text post?
🐙WetterThanYou Follow
Please tell me you didn't seriously look at humans and go 'they look like they can breathe underwater'
👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow
I thought they were like lions and how some live in the sea :(
🦁BEaST-MAN Follow
DID YOU THINK SEA LIONS WERE LITERAL LIONS?!
👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow
They're not? 😭😭😭
(10,053 Notes)
🐺HereWolf Follow
Vampires will be like 'I love humans' and then transform every human they know into another vampire. Weak. You are like someone who only watches Marvel movies and calls themselves a filmbuff.
🏏Batass Follow
Hey OP this is an important part of many vampire cultures so you should tone it down because this is really offensive.
🐺HereWolf Follow
You should get a culture that isn't fucking lame.
🦁BEaST-MAN Follow
OP you are literally a werewolf. And into throwing stones in glass houses I guess.
🐺HereWolf Follow
Gurl you don't know the amount of effort I put into keeping my human girlfriend a human girlfriend because I love her for being a human.
(8,000 Notes)
💚CraftedLove Follow
In the club on a date with a human straight up breaking it. And by 'it,' haha, well. Let's just say. His sanity.
(42,069 Notes)
🧙♂️ Crystal-Rooster-and-Orbs Follow
Sick of getting added to group chats like 'plots to overthrow our lieges.' Yes, I am both an evil wizard and an evil vizier. But I'm not plotting any treachery because my king is also evil, and so is my queen. We are in an evil polycule and give each other evil night kisses.
🧙♂️ Crystal-Rooster-and-Orbs Follow
Also stop telling me about the evil queen's OnlyFans like the king and I aren't helping her run it. Who do you think is taking the pictures? You have no idea how many evil yet deeply impractical schemes it's given us the economic cushion to do.
(48,835 Notes)
🤼♂️Bitch-of-Heracles Follow
Need me a human who will hold me like this and just destroy me 😍
♣️HeraclesOfficial✅ Follow
Hey.
🤼♂️Bitch-of-Heracles Follow
WHY DID NOBODY THINK TO WARN ME HERACLES WAS ON THIS WEBSITE?!
(33,333 Notes)
This now has a sequel, and a third act
#shhh evil wizards can be monsters if they want to#oc#yes this is the same loose world as the demon king posting in fact the evil wizard is the one mentioned as being his friend#stole this format from a fire emblem post because it was a great post#monster fucker#but inverted#Heracles jumpscare#dashboard simulator
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I love being the only not-cis person in group therapy, btw. Love it. I tried to bring up how dysphoria is contributing to my difficulty with mood regulation and like, absolutely no one in that call understood wtf I was talking about, lol. That weird, pervasive gendering of Cluster B happened last session though, and it was viscerally uncomfortable on my end, but everyone else in the fuckin' Google Meets room or whatever just nodded in understanding like that shit was scientific fact. Like it got fully bioessentialist up in there for a minute. Cis people are so fuckin' weird.
#our t#TT.txt#I s2g there's this weird cis-person gendered power dynamic happening too.#Because- okay. There are two liscenced therapists leading this group but only one of them does all the presentations & the DBT#aspect of this shit. DBT group therapy kinda half runs like a course. We're takin' notes and everything.#But this fuckin' guy I swear to god. He whittles on and on and does this thing where someone else - who is a cis woman#important to keep in mind here - responds with a very real and emotional epiphany she's having in the moment as he's talking.#Which is like- I mean that's just kinda fantastic to be around. Those are the parts of this I stick around for. That feels like *progress*#And he'll like- I don't even know how to explain this. He agrees that what she's talking about is important but then he'll start rambling#about how what she JUST SAID usually IN TEARS isn't *fully* relevant to what he's talking about right now. Even when it very obviously is#I guess it's mansplaining?? I don't really understand the term mansplaining as a hard concept <- learning disability#But it definitely feels like smth related to mansplaining.#I dunno. I'm gonna continue this until the end bc I need these tools but goddamn I would ask to be reassigned if I had that guy alone#He just Presents[tm] it never actually feels like progress happens unless he's Presenting The Material. It's kinda weird to be around#And it's just like. My queerness is very obviously being carefully tiptoed around. And it's not like I'm not clocky y'know#Lets just say thank god I also go by they/them. Seems like its the ''most comfortable'' set for these people to use 🙄#Yes I am still judging them for that. Cis people need to rack up a good ally score before they can usually Officially use they/them on me#Only other queers get that for free. iykyk#We're at the point where both he/him & she/her confuse cis people so. Which feels great most of the time but on the other hand...#And I mean dear god if we bring up any neopronoun I think someone would have a confused meltdown#I'm a lil too close in age to some of these people's adult kids and they've got bad relationships with each other I ain't taking any#fuckin' chances.
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turbulent events have happened tonight
#celebrated international children's day with my high school english teacher#yes we have been friends for almost 10 years. since i was in 9th grade#yes he is 19 years older than me#talked about the old friend group which consisted about like three of us high school girls and a bunch of college guys who were all at least#4 or 5 years older than us. yes every guy crushed on the same girl at one point. i was in a relationship with the oldest of them#one of them who was tangentially in the group now has psychiatric problems. i don't know the specifics. he was to get married to this random#ass girl who got pregnant at 22/23 by another guy#idk who exactly but suffice to say they are not together anymore#we discussed my cancer situation. my ex (who apparently will love me forever) was crying a lot about it and seemed shaken up#even at their little guys christmas reunion last year#he texted me in december saying a part of me lives and will always live inside of him and that he loves me no matter what#i was honestly at a complete loss for words because we broke up 5 years ago. we literally had no future together#one of the other guys apparently said back in december that it was no use texting me encouraging words because we had drifted apart#that is the same guy i crushed on for 6 years. i still wished him a happy birthday in april tho.#it's okay because my crush on him vanished as soon as i realized he's a little piece of shit human. still likeable tho#and that is the issue. anyway. maybe i shouldn't have said piece of shit he's more like an annoying asshole which you still find endearing#talking to him now makes me realize he was never all that. high school me just thought he did really interesting things (which admittedly#were very interesting for that time and for our little town)#about my ex tho#even though i have no feelings for him anymore i think it's really beautiful that what we had is staying with him like that. i hope#it doesn't stop him from having a healthy and loving relationship in the future#i know he had multiple relationships after me but none of them really worked out. i really hope he finds that happiness#the way that i have
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Ahhh I was sitting thinking on Lev's connections to various sun deities and which ones involve him and which don't. They vary between him himself, his sons, him originally now someone else, his archetypes, he uses some names occasionally, he shares other names, some are conceptual Sun Things he's tied to as a sun deity, etc....
But you know. I wasn't expecting to get thrown into a copy of... what is this?? Rig Veda?? On to a page he opened months ago when I tried to open a different file, and now I'm getting schooled on Surya
#Godddd. All the Seven Versus Six stuff is fucking wild. Because that's like. Lev's thing lmfao#The Six That Are Seven. The shatkona is a diagram of 7 points. Seven rays of the Sun. seven horses on the charior#chariot. reading through this part and it keeps saying like ''those who know tell me'' and ''those who have good eyes will know'' and I'm#like yeah. lmfao. I know. This is the Sun King - the king of Six=Seven#But also. Surya AFAIK is just a name he uses. Or I presumed before reading this that yeah that's someone in his lineage or someone#he oversees or knows that's Surya... But now I'm like. We're you once Surya? Don't smile at that#Anyway. I do love how Lev's approaching this with me by just entertaining various configurations of truths that are true when#isolated but not the full picture and then just. reconfiguring them. I need to keep reading but#I mean. I need to keep reading to form an opinion on Surya but all I know is this whole talk on the six and seven like bruh#OK. Well. It's at least your family yeah that's very signature lmfao#Especially getting into ''the seven were created at the same time. Six of these are connected like twins. Although they function#independently they were created at the same time and have the same origin.'' like yeah. I mean. Yeah. They're paired#The shatkona shows they're paired in three groups and it's really really significant to understand that they originated#from the same point that's like Key Gnosis lmfao that the shatkona display of the seven... They're intermingled. They are separate#and they are from the same point. Oh yeah. ''the learned ones use seven different types of thread to create the universe that can#be seen and lived in'' again! Yes! Those With Eyes weave the tapestry created by the seven/six and the reality they create#is the one perceived and lived in because outside of that is the source of the six and the six exist both inside each other and creating#themselves as a whole in - anyway#ramblings //
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Soo idek why i started with this chapter it just called to me on my dash…but im can feel the obsession blossoming 😈
Miracle-twenty one
*gif found on pinterest*
Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader
Warnings/Tropes: forced proximity, slight enemies to lovers, slow burn, smut, angst, fluff, mentions of death, and swearing.
Summary: Reader is the merch girl for Bad Omens. It wasn't what she wanted to do with her life but when her mother got sick with Alzheimer's, reader took a job where she could to help with the costs. She thought it would be a one-time gig but the longer she was on the road with them, the harder she fell for Noah Sebastian; even if he wanted nothing to do with her. She needed a miracle to save her mom and her future.
Author Note: here's some more smut for you!
Tags: @ada-clarence @nonamessblog @thescarlettvvitch @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @theoneandonlykymberlee @yumikitten @blackveilomens @cherrymedicine13 @thebadchic @notmaddihealy @jay02bo @beaker1636 @jakekiszkasguitarpick @punk-pr1ncessxoxo @er3nslovergirl @iamdesolate @lma1986 @jessitpwk @themodern-daywednesday @writethrough @bngurngheart @dreams-that-are-anwsered @loeytuan98 @omens-in-reverse @loverofagoodbeard @jay02bo @niicoleleigh @tearfallpixie
NOAH
A small yawn left my lips as I buried myself deeper into my bed, pulling the warm body closer to my chest. Y/N sighed in her sleep, unbothered that I began trailing my fingers up and down the skin of her arm, and I gazed down at her. It's been a few days since the fire and at first, she was really apprehensive of staying here until Jolly and I reassured her we didn't care. Eventually she eased away her worries and became more comfortable moving around the house.
But the nightmares weren't something she got over.
The last two nights, she woke up screaming thinking she was back in her house, in the flames. I would calm her down by bringing her to my chest and soothe her hair away from her face, sometimes even humming a soft tune so she could calm herself back to sleep.
So far tonight, there were no signs of nightmares, but I stayed up to watch her, just in case.
As my knuckles grazed over her arm, my gaze caught sight of the healing cuts and bruises that were scattered along them, the fight with James flashing into my mind.
I kicked the back door in, smoke immediately filling my lungs, and I pulled the top of my sweater over my mouth. Through hazy vision, I did my best to maneuver my way through the unfamiliarity of the house. I tried to remember how the layout was when I was here last time for the funeral.
Just past the kitchen was the hallway where the stairs were that would lead me upstairs to Y/N's bedroom. Where the fire was fastly spreading and by now, it could have spread to the room next to her; the one I needed to get to.
A loud grunt followed my something dropping to the floor caught my attention, and I swung on my heels to see a body leaning over the couch in the living room; the only area where the fire hasn't spread. It seemed like wherever the fire started, it must have been upstairs. Even through the smoke filling the space around me, I recognized who was pouring something on the couch.
"Mother fucker!" I spat.
James turned hastily towards me, a look of shock on his face. "What the fuck? You're not supposed to be here!"
Sprinting towards him, I tackled him to the ground, the red jug of now what I realized was gasoline falling out of his grasp onto the couch. I laid fist after fist into his face while James tried to protect himself, failing miserably.
"Fuck you!" I seethed when he somehow pushed me away from him.
Scrambling to my feet, I brought my foot back in a high kick, the toes of shoe connected with his stomach. James groaned in pain as he clutched himself, spitting what I imagined was blood to the floor.
"I should have figured you'd come to save her; her knight in shining armor," he chuckled darkly while kneeling in front of me.
Anger radiated through me in hypersonic waves, but I did my best to keep myself calm. I couldn't afford to waste time with this asshole while Y/N was barley hanging on.
"Why the hell are you burning down her house?!" I demanded to know after throwing another punch to his jaw.
Shit, that hurt.
I shook out the pain in my hand while watching James clutch his face.
"She doesn't deserve this house! It should have been left to me! My mom left me with nothing after leaving me as a child. Who does that!" James bellowed.
"You think you're the only one that was traumatized by your mom?" I scoffed but then coughed as the smoke filled my lungs completely. "You want to talk about what Y/N doesn't deserve? She doesn't deserve her fucking brother trying to kill her!"
By now, the flames were licking their way down the staircase, burning away the only way for me to make it upstairs to Y/N.
James looked up at me with blood pooling from his mouth, a sinister smirk on his face.
"How does it feel knowing the girl you love is seconds away from burning alive? That is, if the fall doesn't kill her first."
Sheer darkness overtook me as I lifted him from the floor by the collar of his shirt and tossed him over the couch. He clattered to the ground as the jug of gasoline fell with him, covering him in the foul smell.
A knock at my bedroom door brought me out of the memory and carefully detaching myself from Y/N, my feet pattered towards the door. Once opened, I gave a small smile to Jolly.
"How's she doing?" He asked nodding behind me.
Looking over my shoulder, I noticed she was still asleep, clutching the pillow tight to her chest.
"She's alright. So far no nightmares," I said when I turned back to Jolly.
Jolly gave me a curt nod. "Well, there's a detective downstairs wanting to talk to you."
My heart pounded in my chest but I did my best not to show how worried I was. I had a feeling after the police talked with James and got his side of the story, they'd be knocking on my door right after.
"Isn't it kind of late?" I asked, running a hand through my hair.
"He said it won't take long," Jolly shrugged.
With a sigh, I nodded and followed him downstairs where I saw the detective standing in the middle of the entryway.
"Mr. Sebastian, I'm sorry for stopping by so late," he extended a hand towards me.
"Noah is fine," I said while shaking it. "Is there something new with the investigation?"
The detective nodded. "We spoke with James a few hours ago. He finally woke up from the coma the hospital put him in to deal with the pain. He told us you attacked him?"
"Yes, because I saw him pouring gasoline downstairs. He was the one that started the fire." I retorted back defensively.
"We know that" the detective nodded. "James told us everything so as far as I see it, you're not in any trouble."
I gave my own nod. "Good. Now what does this mean for Y/N?"
"She'll have to go through the insurance company to see if she'll get any money from losing everything. But as far as I'm aware, that can be a process."
"Right," Jolly snorted. "So what you're saying is that has nothing?"
The detective gave us a sorrowful smile. "I wish I had better news on that front. But at least James won't be a problem anymore. He's looking to go for a plea deal so Y/N won't have to worry about testifying."
"Thanks for the update," I grumbled then gave him my back as I walked upstairs.
Jolly was wrong; Y/N didn't have nothing. She had me, us. We would be all she needed until she found herself back on her feet. No matter what it cost me, I'd give her the entire world if that's what she wanted.
Back in my room, I noticed she was still fast asleep and ran a knuckle over her cheek to brush away the hair from her face, marveling at how soft her skin was. In the beginning, our relationship was rocky and I'd said some hurtful things to her not knowing what she was going through back home. Her life was crumbling and instead of being a strong support system, I was being an asshole because of my own problems. She didn't deserve this, any of this that life threw at her, and yet she still had a smile on her face throughout all the pain.
I knew from that moment she came to the party that she would mean so much to me. I despise how long and what happened to her for me to finally accept it. But from this moment forward, I'd prove that to her.
"I love you, angel," I whispered, staring down at here with a small smile.
READER
"Oh, fuck you!" I bellowed.
Folio chuckled as he set the game controller down on the couch next to him. "Damn, I never realized you were such a sore loser."
I shot him with an icy glare. "You cheated."
Nick shook his head at the two of us while he brought us two plates of food; fresh hot pizza.
"Thank you," I smiled warmly at Nick.
He sat down next to me with his own food and motioned to the television, where Folio and I just ended the game we were playing. "Folio will claim he never cheats but he's a screen watcher."
I gasped while whirling my head back to Folio. "I knew it!"
It's been almost a week since the fire and this was the first time I'd seen both Nicks since then. They traveled back to Virgina to visit family and returned earlier this afternoon. We decided to have a relaxing night in because in just a few days, they'd be leaving for Europe while I stayed here because I couldn't find the voice to ask for my job back. I knew the guys would allow me to continue work with them but the part of me that didn't want to be a bother held me back.
Plus, I was dealing with a lot of personal thoughts that was causing a small wall to be built up around me. Something Noah noticed. We hadn't been intimate since the first night here and needless to say, I was horny. Noah wanted to make sure I was in the right headspace since I was dealing with nightmares, him being there to hold me when they woke me with a scream.
If the nightmares weren't bad enough, I was also upset with the fact that out of everything I lost in the fire, the only thing I wanted was my laptop that had pictures of me with the guys and crew members. Hundreds of pictures and videos of all the fun times we had on the road together. The one I really wanted was the picture of Noah and I from that party, before everything went to shit.
"Angel."
Looking up to Noah as he stood in front of me, I raised a brow at him. "What?"
He said nothing, simply picked me up from the couch so he could sit with me now in his lap. Large arms wrapped around me from behind as I leaned deeper into his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart against my back. He covered us with a blanket as Jolly switched from the video game to a movie while Nick turned off the lights. We all settled in as the comedy movie played and when I shifted to be more comfortable on Noah's lap, he groaned quietly in the back of my neck. My name fell from his lips in a hushed warning.
Smirking, I played with this a bit more.
Underneath the blanket, I snaked a hand between my legs and ran fingers over Noah's dick, which twitched underneath my touch. He wore a pair of sweatpants so I could feel the outline of it but I couldn't slip my hand beneath his waistband to grasp it which made me frown.
"What are you doing?" He breathed in my ear.
Ignoring him, I made a show of getting comfortable in a different position by now sitting at his side and curling up into his chest with the blanket still covering us. Both Nick's and Jolly were engrossed in the movie that they were oblivious to Noah and I as I finally slipped my hand in his pants, fingers touching the soft skin of his already hard cock.
"Angel," Noah grunted in my hairline.
Keeping my gaze on the television, I worked my hand up and down, squeezing every so often. When my thumb brushed along the head, swirling the pre-cum everywhere, Noah's body twitched next to me. His hand slipped underneath my shirt, calloused fingers grazing over the skin of my stomach up towards my breasts and he pinched my perk nipple.
I bit back a moan but kept up my actions on his cock only this time working harder. His head fell back against the couch, silver chain catching the light from the television, and I had to hold myself back from not straddling his lap to get a taste of the skin of his neck. Noah's hips thrust up into my hand a few times before stilling, a harsh breath crawling from the back of his throat when warm cum spilled into my hands and I peered up at him through my lashes, jerking him off through the last waves of his orgasm.
His gaze was hot, burning into me, as I pulled my hand out of his pants and brought my finger to my lips, unnoticed by the guys, and licked his arousal off my fingers one by one.
"Upstairs. Now." Noah yanked me from the couch and tossed me over his shoulder.
I squeeled in delight as he began running upstairs.
"Try to keep it down, alright?" Nick called behind our backs.
#miracle#followed you for bucky content#but yea we diving face first into bad omens now lol#hes so soft for this angel chick im into that#oh damn there was a fire 🔥#is it in his pants?#nope no it was her house shiiit#i gotta read part one stat!#noah sebastian#bad omens#aw i like their cute domestic group dynamic#holly jolly santa claus 🎅🏽#thats what id nickname jolly#the whole thing#nicknames can be longer than their name right#just say yes#lol nick names and theres two nicks#focUsssss#oh damn#yessir noah daddy i mean whut#🫢#yea imma go read from the beginning now
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