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theriverbeyond · 1 year ago

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have you seen any breakdown of the political situation on New Rho (in New Rho? is the rest of the planet also populated? I think at one point someone says "down in Ur" but maybe there is an application of 2-dimensional direction terms to 3d space I havent yet thought of). Like who do they mean by militia, who is the government (who is the police?), is there any official house presence, what is the status of the barracks, who manned the spaceport, what power does BoE hold and how are they viewed in the population (Hot Sauce denounces them but who is her faction-that Pyrrha saw her with-then?) and do they know how splintered and farspread it is? what is the siege the blurb is speaking of, just the imperial emissaries showing up?

Also assuming the BoE wings are all named after different planetary settlements which seem in turn to be named after cities in the ancient near east (ur, merv, ctesiphon), why isnt new rho? but i might be misinterpreting this.

Also where does the Empire want non-House humanity to end up? They seem to be turning planets left and right with no endgoal. And how many settled planets might there be?

Sorry I'm dumping this all at you, I havent seen any worldbuilding discussion here on tumblr at all really so maybe you can redirect me somewhere.

Thankies, keep up the good work (posting)

I HAVE seen posts about the political situation on New Rho including analysis posts that were very interesting and I have utterly failed to tag them appropriately, I am sorry -- if anyone who sees this has links to that meta pls add on/reply to help anon!

But to cover the rest of your points:

What is Ur?

Ur is mentioned twice that i can find, in ch 16: Ianthe says that the end has come to the "rebels of Ur", and a person in the crowd says "Ur is fighting".

EDIT: big thank you to @eskildit in replies: "There are four total references to Ur- Corona also says that Judith is in the Ur facility and Kiriona says that the 6th house is "parked outside the Ur system". Could be that Ur is the planet New Rho is located on. While we refer the nine houses as planets, canonically the houses are actually "installations" on each planet with quite small populations. New Rho alone, which is specifically stated to be just one city on a resettled planet, is 3x the size of the 6th house"

It may have been mentioned more times, but Kindle search is giving me the 2,320 times the letters "ur" were used next to each other so I'm ngl I cannot sift through that. Rather than being a city, though, I actually am assuming that Ur is another planet entirely! This is due to multi-planet SciFi in general treating entire planets like countries or even big cities. Like…. planets are huge. There are thousands of different cultures on a planet, but in SciFi planets are often like. One Big City. One Big Country, if you have a particularly ambitious worldbuilder. See: Star Wars, the Nine Houses themselves, etc. not saying that Ur cannot be on New Rho, just that I don't think it is because this is multi-planet Sci Fi.

The militia/civic government?

In chapter 6 a distinction is made between "the militia and the old civic govnerment". Following that, I think the civic government was probably installed by the Houses, as a ruling party that is friendly to them/House interests. I think the militia is a non-unified population of hired guns, that probably revolted at some point priot to the story. It does seem like at least some section of the militia is in power in most of the city, but I do not think there is one coherent government at the moment

Official house presence?

Yes, because there are official cohort barracks. I don't think they have much political leverage by the time NtN rolls around, though

Barrack status?

Under siege due to the people of New Rho hating them/political instability/possible militia revolt, doing badly otherwise because any and all necromancers are suffering from Blue Madness/RB proximity, as seen in ch 20 when Ianthe mentioned some of them were so poorly she had to put them down.

Space port?

I am assuming the civic government/House was originally in charge. unsure of who is in charge during NtN

What power does BOE hold?

Unclear. It seems like BOE itself is fractionated, with a lot of animosity held between different factions, and a lot of both animosity AND collaboration between different factions of BOE, the militia, the population, and the old civic government. It is a very decentralized resistance force, despite sharing a name. BOE do not appear to BE the official government, or BE the militia, though, but I would not be surprised if some groups had ties to one or both. It seems like they have influence both socially and politically but it is unclear what that power is... some factions have some amount of power. Over some parts. But!! it seems that during the events of NtN they had more power than in the past ("best hand they were ever delt", chapter 1)

How is BOE viewed by the population?

My guess is they have mixed reviews. I think a lot of people probably rely on them for resources/protection even if they don't like or fully trust them. I think a lot of people probably see them as extremists and wish they were less extreme (the liberals, u could say). Like Hot Sauce and the gang, a lot of people probably think they aren't radical enough and wish they would resist more, harder, differently. I think a lot of people probably deeply support them, either physically by being part of BOE or by providing resources/etc, or quietly because they are afraid of retaliation by the House or civil government. A lot of the population probably has opinions about BOE versus the militia, BOE verus House, BOE versus the civic government, based on their own interests/position/power. This is a really long answer that can boil down to "idk"

What is the siege?

I think the siege is the cohort being sieged into the barracks. I am guessing there was some sort of revolt in the local government, probably related to Blue Madness weakening the cohort, and they have pushed the cohort into the barracks. , as described in chapters 1 ("the cohort dies like anyone else under seige") and chapter 20 ("the barracks siege").

What group is Hot Sauce in if she denounced BOE?

Hot Sauce specifically calls BOE "fat cats" and "zombie lovers" in chapter 15, after noting that she, Honesty, and Born in the Morning, as well as Born in the Morning's father, are "active" in with an unnamed group at the park. It is unclear what group that is, if it has a name, or if it is organized in any capacity. From what little we know, it appears it is a group of people who are more radical than BOE, which I think is either ex-BOE members that were pushed out for their radial choices/beliefs, or civilians/other freedom fighters that aren't satisfied with what BOE is doing. But beyond that I have no idea

BOE wing names vs New Rho?

So BOE wings are named after historic Earth cities. Ctesiphon, Troia, Merv, Valencia (which is not historic to us, as it exists today, but WOULD be history in 10k years). They are named by BOE, likely to keep connection to Earth, just like BOE people-names. "New Rho", on the other hand, is likely named by the House. Rhodes is a place on the 7th house (see: 7th cavalier is the "Knight of Rhodes"), and I assumed that New Rho was like. The house naming shit. Like how New York is named after York in England, even though that area of land already had a name (Lenapehoking, I think?).

Specifically this difference is important because like, the House is a imperial colonizing force here, and they are naming things after their home system as a part of the imperial violence they are enacting. In As Yet Unsent, Judith notes that the non-house people call New Rho, "Lemuria" -- HOWEVER, in NtN chapter 17, the Angel mentions Lemuria twice in a way that is phrased like Lemuria is Somewhere else, and is Not the city they are in right now ("I was born on Lemuria", "there's still a facility on Lemuria") I am not sure what happened there, honestly. Perhaps an oopsie?

Where does the Empire want non house humanity to end up?

Unclear. Coronabeth notes in As Yet Unsent that even she (who has studied the war in-universe) has no idea what the real goal is. My guess is nowhere, because a forever-war has no end goal. It's a war for resources gained only by literal blood and death. Many analysis could be made about this as an allegory to to oil based forever-wars of today -- I read a few of them and as said before unfortunately failed to tag them, so if anyone has a link and can share with anon that would be awesome! But anyway, I do not think I am smart or learned enough to say a lot beyond this but, yeah. I think there is no end goal to the war besides meaningless revenge and the resources gained via murder, because that's the point. We could learn different in AtN tho! who knows

How many settled planets?

No idea! Thousands. Hundreds of thousands? Hundreds? Unsure! 10k years is a long time, and there are a lot of planets out there in the fantasy universe that could be habitable. EDIT ty @eskildit, unclear how many planets were settled over the course of the Empire, but there are three settled planets by the timeline of NtN: ""Everyone was crammed on one of three planets now, and they all agreed that this planet was easily the worst", from chapter 2

Thanks for sending this!! I really enjoyed answering it, and I hope it helped -- sorry if I missed any. Ask more any time!!

#new rho #nona the ninth #HOPE I DIDNT MISS ANYTHING #TLT META #the locked tomb #this took like 2 hours BUT i was smart and typed it in a google doc so i didn't have #a situation where i misclicked and lost it all. i have LEARNED #tlt thoughts #anon #ask #long post #yayyy

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xamaxenta · 7 months ago

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I think I asked this before and it didn’t go through (if it did ignore this pls my memory is Swiss cheese)

Mommy Marco

But she’s an old school leather biker and mechanic

Greased stained tank top and coveralls wrapped around her waist, some kind of mullet/mohawk hair going on.

Her tiddy piercings are visible through her shirt.

Ace comes in to get her bike fixed and immediately gets side tracked because

FUuuuuck. It's even worse because nothing she does works, marco completely ignores her flirting. So ace calls in the big guns (sabo)

Sabo shows up with a short skirt button up that hangs off her shoulders and no bra.

Marco pulls out a pair of reading glasses to go over some papers.

Sabo gets is knocked out instantly, she has no power

Ace and sabo start becoming regular customers to the shop (with more and more ridiculous problems and sluttier outfits) trying their hardest to get marco to crack (to sleep with them)

One of the other employees tries to bring it up with marco like "hey you know they really really want to sleep with you right?"

Marco snorts "oh I know, but my days of rolling into and out of girls beds are over. If they want me, they have to want an us"

Finally one night close to closing sabo storms into Marcos office

Marco raised a brow. "Can I help you?" Voice neutral so neutral it made Sabo want to scream and tear out her hair.

Sabo stalked up to the desk, not sashayed not strutted, stalked, her heels clicking on the floor like a countdown to the end.

She slammed her hands on the desk. “Let me eat your pussy. You can pull my hair, suffocate me l don't care, just let me get you off.”

Marco raised a brow, “and your girlfriend?”

"She literally was calling your name when I pegged her last night."

There was a long silence, Marco seemed to be having an internal debate. Tapping at the desk slowly.

"You want me?"

"Yes!" Sabo threw her hands in the air "What part of let me eat your pussy do you not comprehend?"

Marco rose from the desk, it was easy to forget how tall she was. How much space she filled.

A callused hand cupped sabos chin. "You're going to have to do what I say, can you do that?"

Sabo swallowed almost certain that it had been a mistake not to wear underwear today. "Yes."

"Good girl."

Ace pushed the shop door open, "sabo?"

Her girlfriend had sent her a message to get her ass down to the mechanics.

There was a loud moan followed by the rev of an engine. Ace turned and instinctively clenched around nothing.

Sabo was spread out naked on Marco's bike, cheek pressed into the leather drooling. Marco was behind, her bare tits bouncing, gorgeous leather straps snug on her hips. The neon blue dildo ramming into Sabos cunt with a force that Was making the bike lurch.

Marco pressed a hand into the small of sabos back and with the other revved the engine.

Sabo screamed, come glistening on the leather seat.

Ace must've whimpered, moaned. Because Marco looked at her. "You good?"

Ace made an involuntary squeak as marco pulled the dildo out of sabo with a pop, the older woman casually sticking her fingers into the drooling cunt. Making the younger woman whimper and moan.

"I-" ace felt a wet sensation sliding down her leg "I think I just came."

"Pity." Marco stuck the come covered fingers into sabos mouth who began to suck them dutifully. "I wanted to see if I could make you gape like this doll.”

"I can." Aces heart was pounding, she was shaking. "I can take bigger dicks that sabo!"

"That true doll?" Marco was looking to sabo now, not bothering to remove her fingers.

Sabo nodded her eyes glassy, hips wiggling down the seat. Back towards the dildo.

"Uh uh." Marco chided removing her fingers and smacking the younger woman's ass with a resounding smack.

She smacked the pale flesh several more times, till both cheeks were bright red.

Aces cunt throbbed with each slap of flesh

Marco leaned back stroking her dildo idly, patting her large bare thighs. She crooked a finger to ace. "Cmere sweet heart. I want to see how you ride."

Sabo getting dicked down as she deserves at the end when she pegged Ace the night before— didnt even fill Ace’s cunt just made her squirt from some insane anal instead…

Sorry it took me so long to post this i was… hoarding and coveting again bc it was so good and bc i was trying rly hard to think of a good tag so i can find this again whenever i want which is now made but

Ace coming on the spot just from walking in and watching them can i get the longest hell yea boi bc im nutting right there with her 😫💦💦💦

I love wombenn mas… im always speechless over how good this au is

Sabos nickname being DOLL 🥰 whats Ace’s? Hussy? Stud? I can see Marco calling her cute biker goth gal a stud whilst double penetrating her holes with the dual strap bc shes gREAT at multistasking,,,

Ace being competitive now that theyve managed to snag Marcos attention 😋… says she can take bigger which TRUE but also realises even she has a limit… what that limit is yet to be found out tho (its fisting—)

#MAS #MAS but theyre butch biker gals #except miss sabo who’s the blondest big boobied barbie doll gal ever #REVVING THE MOTOR AND SABO CREAMING…SHES SO PATHETIC!!!!#WHEN i say im honry #im like feral #biker au #lesbian MAS #THEYRE JUST HOT WOMENNITS SO UNFAIR #MAS biker au #n/sfw #GOD!!!!!#HELP

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lunar-system · 2 months ago

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the acolyte e5 liveblog

uh fuck we are actually killing people here

like, a light saber is a lethal-lethal weapon all of a sudden

which makes total sense but is not the TONE i'm used to in star wars

pip is a flashlight<3

as amazingly many annoying jedi qualities yord has he is also actually good at following orders. surprisingly good, considering he has such big ego. but i suppose he respects the jedi order that much.

mae and padawan are fighting nooooO!!!! girls!!!

"under arrest for the fire that killed your family" that was an oopsie from the padawan whats-her-name

baddie: "and let you read my thoughts?" that is honestly a red flag that sol just does it whenever it benefits him. cop behaviour.

"what master hides his face from his pupil?" "you tell me" OOOOOHHHH BURN OF THE CENTURY. sol got angy

jecki is the padawan's name!

"jecki is a jedi and can take care of herself" NO she's a padawan and the last padawan that got involved with mae eventually killed himself! god!

i know it's stage sword fighting but based on the efficiently the baddie killed the other jedis either sol is extremely good OR the baddie does not actually want to kill him

"he gets into a jedi's head" now that's interesting. really, if the jedi allowed other cultures religions organisation to use the force how many more uses for it could they develop?

pls pls pls evil guy don't kill jecki like you killed all those unnamed sidecharacteeeers

"Mae, you can learn from this padawan. She's a loyal pupil" god he's bitchy

JECKI WITH TWO SABERS GO GIRL

(if a saber can cut the handle of another sabel, that seems like a tactic everyone would utilise all of the time. but maybe it's because the jedi play a fair game and that's not very sportsmanlike.)

thank you light department for lighting this night forest with reasonable brightness

master to mae: "you've always been weak." does no other order after the coven ever take social bonds seriously? like if mae is interested that her lost lost sister is alive shouldn't that be taken seriously?

master almost got beheaded by jecki there. honestly good for her

WHICH SIDE WILL MAE FIGHT FOR naaaahhh she's off to the woods again. based

jecki saved mae?? from master skewering her? asdkljghaldkjgh

jecki/mae fics? pls?

thank you for giving them all different colour sabers, very pleasing

bugs as environmental warfare? yes please

jecki is too brave for her own good pls beby don't jump after him like that

THE HELMET

JECKY NO

JEEECKYYY NOOO I JUST LEARNED YOUR NAME

jecky noooo………..

secondary lightsaber surprise was cool, mirroring jecki having two swords earlier, but at what price

there you are, evil manny <3 what a cool entrance

He is legit scary not gonna lie

and hot

"was that its name" EVIL MANNY NO!!!

"she was a child." "you brought her here." Sol. he's not wrong. Jecki was a child. Like the other padawan.

lightsaber held against a head like a gun feels. deeply wrong to how star wars uses them. which is the point. well done.

"jedi like you might call me sith" so i now next to nothing about extended star wars lore but like is this the origin story of the sith? or is that like just anyone who uses jedi powers wrong? like christian vs pagan?

"i don't make the rules. the jedi do. and the jedi says i can't exist." okay no wonder this is so well liked as a queer show. he might be evil but this is a very queer take.

YORD??!!! YOU TOO??!!! I JUST CALLED YOU ANNOYING BUT I THOUGHT WE WOULD HAVE MORE TIME AND YOU WOULD REDEEM YOURSELF AND I WOULD LEARN TO LIKE YOU AND YOU JUST GOT KILLED ON CAMERA

I am shook i did not expect this to be this violent show. not a bump to a head and waking up a couple hours later? no! straight up murder!

this evil manny is more evil than i thought

aaaand mae is off to the woods again

mae stunned her… for yord. who is dead. who i called annoying and who is now dead.

okay kill the last remining jedi without weapons then mister evil manny if it so important to you

(where did yord know evil-manny from tho? "it's you"?)

"I've accepted my darkness. What have you done with yours?" evil-manny is consistently given the best two-liners in this show, these keep on giving one after the another

fuck sol looks so sad what a spot-on casting

the bugs straight-up take him???

pip too

but even thought this edition of star wars kills people I have to believe not even this one would kill the purposefully cutesy robot. right? right???

and the sisters are alone. but the rift is just too big. the misunderstandiiiiiing

…osha didn't just… die? too? did she?? oh lord. please be just gently knocked out. like people should be in a star war

pip is saved, yey!

Welp. Mae is in.

Bazil knows.

And Osha lives.

#the acolyte #star wars the acolyte #the acolyte spoilers #the acolyte liveblog #star wars

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sweet-little-dude · 2 years ago

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random but btw i love your profile picture <3 okay anyways kakucho fics. i realised that i actually have THREE kakucho centric wips, not just two, which is a pleasant surprise but the third one only consists of a broad idea and one single sentence yet so sadly it doesn’t change much lmao.

warnings: as always angst 👍 also trauma mention plus suicidal thoughts and also talk of guns in the 1st one. also all three screenshots are different fics and only the 1st one has a title yet, which is ‘i’ve lost your war’ which are song lyrics i stole from pentatonix. also the plot of the 1st fic is that kakucho is uhm. a little depressed and traumatised after izana’s death, and while he seems fine on the outside and actually tries his best to heal he’s not okay at all and the healing doesn’t really work. give this man some therapy thank you. plot of the 2nd one is in the screenshot. 3rd screenshot is random bits and ideas for a kakucho/mikey fic in the bonten timeline in which they project izana respectively draken onto each other. first paragraph is sanzu pov but i think i wanna scrap that. tho ngl i quite like the last sentence in the screenshot. yk the one about them looking at each other they way only used to look at the person they love- i originally went for angst for that fic too but who knows maybe their unhealthy coping mechanism actually turns healthy and i am not cruel for once.

i’m sorry this is already long help take your time to answer if you need it BUT i also have some kisaki’s mother fic bits. i called her hideko in the fic which is a name somebody on ao3 came up with for her and i’m still waiting for them to tell me if i can publish my fic with her name being hideko or not bc it was their idea (i’m obviously crediting them) buut yeah. they’re the author of ‘the diary of a boy who will never be missed’ forgot their @ rn- anyways screenshots for you. include the beginning of the fic and some of my fav bits. have fun with the non-linear narrative (which is also how the fic is written btw i am a huge fan of non-linear narratives tbh) and even less context than the fic provides. also yes hideko’s a little fucked up blame it on her trauma and all the abuse she’s endured throughout her life

ty ty mizo mid means the world to me <33 THREE??? why i am really getting fed today thank u v much :P

firstly the title of wow like seriously thatz a really well thought of name, good job elys :DDD but yES please give this poor man some therapy for like everything hez been through like im begging for real

it may be short but that summary plus the one liner just made me brain explode/pos like oh my GOD i rlly wanna see that one seriously ehebehhe

I LIKE THIS ONE idk i kinda like sanzu's opening pov of it but like whatever you think is best of course. HMMMMMM THIS ONEEEEEEEEE i think its really interesting how you think mikey's projecting draken onto kakucho and youre seriously right so the whole basis of this fic is fascinating so im super excited to see how it goes

(hideko fic) oh its all good!! i'm not really picky with how stories are written but then again sometimes it just kinda slips my mind lol. but yeah uh i wanna give her a big hug rn. like bro. the poor thing. and i'm guessing she wouldn't be the type to run away cuz of her son ? god thatz a massive :( on my end. (pls show me more once you've finished it / published it)

#also have i ever told u abt how i love the way u write?#idk how to say it but it makes my ocd brain vv happy #elys writes elys writes !!#yeah thatz my fic tag for u now btw #elys n taku rambles #ALSO send me the link to that kisaki fic???? that sounds rlly cool #like the one thatz called diary of a boy who will never be missed or smth like that

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kyber-crystal · 3 years ago

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okayy but headcanons for reader being part of the top 1% and not knowing how to drive a car?? the crew lovingly teasing them and then a cute date with hangman trying to teach them. pls pls ur headcanons r cute and he’s a sweetie i just know it

SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET TO THIS BUT YES. also i'm so so sorry if this isn't what you imagined, my writing has just gone downhill lately lol

hangman loves how you're a woman of many talents. you can fly planes. you're almost unbeatable at darts. slick with pool. can rival him in dogfight football. and you're one of the only people he goes soft for

(lies, he loves everyone. but you in particular? there's almost nothing he won't do for you)

you're set to head out to the beach again and taking one big car

you're asked to drive but then you get into the front seat and just sit there, frozen in place

and that's when the crew puts two and two together and realizes you can't drive

so the next few minutes are spent teasing you (lovingly, of course)

"how are you in the top 1% but don't know how to drive a car?" hangman had asked

you explained how you took your test before leaving for top gun, but failed

and since you didn't have much time to practice you never re-tried it

but it was also because you were highkey scared to

(also you had very faint memories of maverick trying to teach you back @ home. very traumatic. he was gripping the overhead handle for life even though you weren't even on the freeway yet...)

hangman ends up driving, right. and you know when guys do That thing when they drive/reverse? yeah, he does that

and. you're speechless as you watch because you have the greatest view of his arms and side profile from where you're sitting

(like what the fuck nobody ever told you that lieutenant jake seresin had some really, really nice arms.)

phoenix kicks you in the ankle and gives you a look that tells you she sees the look on your face. and your brightened cheeks

it's hilarious

you cannot stop yourself from staring when you get to the beach. he can drive well, he flies well, and he's ripped? a far better 3 in 1 combo than the shampoo you're sure he uses imo

everyone gets into this huge water fight after the game

(and no, it was not rooster's fault for instigating the conflict)

hangman jogs toward you and is all like "hey sweetheart, give me a hug)

and you fall for it

and so you get soaked from head to toe because he's drenched with seawater

but later as you're walking out he notices you're shivering pretty badly

and he feels so bad

so he takes off the brand new shirt he'd changed into and gives it to you

and the mf walks shirtless all the way back to the car it's fucking hilarious

and he's like "let me make it up to you. i'll teach you how to drive. no more traumatic memories from mav, and you get to spend time with your favorite person :)"

the next day he comes knocking at your door...when it's still dark out

you're pissed off and ready to beat the shit out of whoever it was but then you realized it was hangman and you're like. oh. never mind

you want to question why the fuck this man is trying to take you driving at 4 in the morning. but you don't, because he has yours and his best interests in mind. usually.

the sky goes from black to grey as you hit the road and you're shaking

but this time it's most likely because his hand is on your thigh (to steady you, of course. but we all know this lil shit is using it as an excuse to get closer to you. this whole lesson was his excuse to get closer to you, honestly)

hangman is very gentle and surprisingly so good at explaining things. so within minutes you're calm again and driving smoothly

he gives you directions on where to go (keeping his hand on your thigh the whole time ofc lmao)

there was one time where you were pulling up to a traffic light and supposed to slowly hit the brakes. but instead you pressed the accelerator and went shooting forward

if this surprises hangman, he doesn't show it

"sweetheart, i don't know how you mix the two up. let's pray we don't have to pay a fine or something"

and you end up at this nice area with a stunning view of the ocean

he puts out his jacket for you two to sit on and watch the sunrise

"worth the drive, wasn't it" he whispered into your ear and you're like hell the fuck yeah it was

though it was terrifying going on the freeway. even if that was only for a little bit

you drive slower on the way back and you end up being late to one of maverick's training maneuvers

but it's worth it

oh also. you go to the local dmv maybe a month later. hangman lets you borrow his car. you pass with flying colors)

(he had bribed you with a date at your favorite italian restaurant so that was part of your motivation)

(most of it was because of the fact that you could spend more time with him. you'd take any and every chance you got)

when you do pass, hangman has the crew throw you a giant party and it's so funny

but it makes you happy because it shows how much they all cared

:))

you don't get ticketed for that traffic light incident btw. somehow you got lucky that day

tags, including people who might be interested (under the cut):

@walkonthewiidside @sarcastic-sourwolf @totomoshi @sebastianstangirl01 @dilfsandtherapy @purelyfiction @93joons @yeehawnana @lunamoonbby @hazelgirl355 @multifandom-fangirl4 @paintballkid711 @lyn-lc @azari-anna @thelifeofthelifeofme @spawn0fsatan @milestomaverick @teacactusworld @icemansgirl1999 @cherry-waved @newlibrary @ellabellabus07 @criminalyetminimal @whatlovegattado @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @vane28282 @thisismypointofview @organabanks @hufflepuffprincesse @ice-mans-world @burnedbrisket @fangirlinc @marveljunkie45 @knowledgefulbutterfly @levis-butterfingers @minivture @teacactusworld @lunamooncole @skylynch03 @coastingline @chaoticassidy @hbstre @fantasias-creativebubble @mercury-mae @light-the-moon @winteryoungie @aie1840

#top gun #top gun: maverick #top gun fic #jake seresin #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x reader #hangman x reader #hangman fic #hangman seresin #top gun fanfic #glen powell #hangman x you #top gun maverick fanfiction #jake seresin x you

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hoebiirama · 3 years ago

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✑ User @neptvnia sent : "your headcanons are to die for 🥴 i'd love to hear your thoughts on how the founders would react to reader wanting to dominate THEM for a change? like would madara let you choke him? would tobirama let you edge him? how far could we go before they snapped? 👀 i saw you saw that you were holding back, pls go as hard and nasty as you want with this one

ps: if you could also throw jiraiya in the mix i would be forever grateful (us jiraiya fuckers are starving atp)"

✑ Anli's useless comment : "Pls go as hard and nasty as you want with this one". You got it buddy -awkward bisexual finger guns- Also y'all need to stop trying to make me regret not doing scenarios, istg these would be better as smut but I have yet to figure out how to keep it entirely gender neutral without making the genital area descriptions either vague as fuck or sound way too formal/medical -cries in gay smut writer-

Gonna have to put some warnings for this one : Spit play, choking, dom/sub relationship (mix of master/slave and CGL), total power exchange, impact play (slap in the face, spanking, caning), facefucking, degradation, dacryphilia, all of these tags apply to Madara's bit btw, bondage, sadomasochism, punishment, consensual BDSM (always), yes I'm still talking about Madara's bit, basically just don't read Madara's section if you're uncomfortable with any of this, (some of these warnings apply to the others as well), cock and ball torture, Madara's part is much longer than the others and I'm sorry about that

Masterpost | Rules | Send a request | Works in Progress

うちはマダラ • Uchiha Madara

Just so we're clear before we start : in this scenario, you have a safeword and Madara knows where your boundaries lay. He would never cross them or do something he doesn't have your consent for. In this house we don't glorify abusive relationships, and certainly aren't about the "abuse disguised as BDSM" life. Having to explain the whole thing first just didn't fit with the request.

NSFW

↳ You know asking Madara to let him be in charge for once will make him freak out. You already know he's going to tell you 'no' and end it there. So you don't. But that doesn't mean you've completely given up on that idea.

↳ You'll just have to show him that it can be enjoyable to submit power from time to time, which is actually an easier thing to pull off than one would think it is.

↳ Madara came to expect you to be submissive to him. You always have been, from the beginning, so the last thing he expects from you is to suddenly switch things up and pin him to the bed as you're making out.

↳ That's about as far as you can go with your little plan. Boring, I know, but Madara's not the type to let this shit pass. Not even for a second. He's in complete control, period. Sorry to disappoint.

↳ The moment you look into his eyes, you know you're in trouble. BIG TIME. Being much stronger than you, he has no problem freeing himself from your grasp and sitting up, you still in his lap, and the first thing he does is wrap his hand around your throat, forcing you to look him straight in the eye.

↳ You see his Sharingan flash for a moment, but it disappears as quickly as it appeared. He's angry.

↳ "No." That's his only answer. A short, sharp, scolding, angry 'no' as his grip around your throat tightens just a little more—it's not time to have fun with you. Not yet.

↳ "Have you forgotten your place, little one ?" he then spits.

↳ Your first reflex is to apologize, but it doesn't make anything better. Instead it earns you a slap on the cheek—you didn't even have time to take a breath after he let go of your throat before the hit comes. And then his hand is gripping your jaw again, hard enough to bruise.

↳ Yeah. You fucked up real bad.

↳ Madara tells you he doesn't want an apology because he knows you're not even sorry (he's right). Instead he'll ask you what the fuck you thought you were doing and why you believed you had the right to even think about being in charge.

↳ Doesn't matter the explanation you give him. He's going to punish you anyway, and he's going to make sure you understand not to mess with him again.

↳ And the way he'll go about it is by essentially treating you like his personal sex toy—he'll strip all control away from you completely to make you see how little power you have over him.

↳ His grip is rough. The special attentions he usually gives you, like the warm kisses across your skin, the gentle caresses over sensitive areas, the teasing, all of that is completely gone. He's looking down at you with utter disregard and it makes you feel so small that you don't even put up a fight.

↳ Madara will spit in your mouth to make you feel disgusting and demean you even more. Just because he can.

↳ Order you to suck him off, but will take over because you're doing it too slow, you're not taking it deep enough, and he'll fuck your throat until it's raw, pushing your head up and down his cock.

↳ He's definitely going to make you cry. Which will just ebb him to insult you even more, because you're a useless toy who can't even take his cock properly.

↳ If you gag, he'll pull you off his cock, slap it on your cheek to tell you to pull yourself together, and shove it back in.

↳ You have no fucking idea why you're into this. Every single part of your body hurts but you love it. This is fucked up. But you don't care.

↳ Madara's right. You were stupid for even thinking you could get away with trying to dominate him for once. You're scared to know what he would do if he found out that you had plans to tie him up to the bed and blindfold him.

↳ Your ass wouldn't survive it. Both literally and figuratively. There's just no way he lets this happen, even if you're person he trusts the most in his life.

千住柱間 • Senju Hashirama

NSFW

↳ You want to try out new things in the bedroom ? Hell yeah Hashirama's down for that ! Sex should be all about having fun, and he's willing to experiment with pretty much anything as long as it doesn't leave permanent scars.

↳ He'd find it funny at first that you want to dominate him. Hashirama is a whipped boyfriend/husband, so everything you do is endearing to him in an adorable way. Chances are, he won't take you very seriously in the beginning.

↳ You'd have to threaten him with punishment if he keeps cooing at you. Don't give in to his jokes—you have to let him know that this is serious business and you really mean it.

↳ Hashirama does have some boundaries, though, aside from the ones you've already established. You can't choke him, slap him in the face, or call him degrading names. Other than that, it's pretty much free real estate for you to do whatever the hell you want to him.

↳ He'd end up enjoying it more than he initially thought he would. He thinks you pinning him down, teasing him, telling him to be a good boy for you and using his body to pleasure yourself is incredibly sexy, and he'd be open to doing this again in the future.

↳ He'd discover new kinks of his, like getting tied up, blindfolded, edged, overstimulated, and the most surprising one : caning. He's pretty neutral about your spanking him with anything else, but a cane can be used as a prop for many other things (like propping him up, putting him in the position you need him to be in), and that's why he loves that much better.

↳ Eventually I see him developing a slight cock and ball torture. Slap or tug at his balls and he'll be a moaning mess.

↳ You'll never be able to bring him to tears, though, no matter how much you try to overstimulate him. He also won't ever beg, at least not in the desperate manner you'd wish him to.

↳ If he ever does, he'll sound amused, like he's trying not to laugh, and he's more likely to ask you to hit him again than anything else.

↳ As much as he loves you being in charge, I don't think he'll ever stop thinking this is cute when you do it. He just becomes better at not cooing at you out loud.

↳ He likes the fight for dominance. Sometimes he'll make you believe you're in charge, but the minute you drop your guard, he'll turn the table on you and the more you whine about it, the hornier he gets.

↳ He likes it when you fight back and try to put him back in his place. He has to let you win in order for you to do that, because there is no way you can manage to overpower the God of Shinobi, and you know this. You just pretend you don't for his sake.

千住扉間 • Senju Tobirama

NSFW

↳ Tobirama would be seriously taken off guard if you suddenly tried to take control while you're being intimate.

↳ While I don't see him as a 'stick to missionary' vanilla man, he'd be disoriented if you tried to switch things up without telling him about it first.

↳ It wouldn't be a complete turn off for him though, but he'll stop to ask what you're doing, and you'll have to explain it to him so he knows what he should expect. Tobirama isn't very fond of surprises.

↳ While he is much softer with his s/o than Madara is, I don't see him being entirely comfortable with the idea of letting you take control.

↳ Not being in charge of everything gives him anxiety—he would hate it if something went wrong and he found himself powerless to do anything to fix it.

↳ So you wouldn't be able to sway him like Hashirama.

↳ However, he is much more open-minded than Madara is, and he'd agree to reach a compromise.

↳ No toys would be involved, but if you wanted to ride him at your own pace, tease him, edge him, he'd be fine with that.

↳ Uncomfortable at first because this is really new to him, but he quickly finds that it's actually quite freeing to let you do that from time to time.

↳ But even with that realization, he wouldn't let things go further than what can be considered teasing.

↳ He'd let you deny his orgasm a few times but once he decides that you've had your fun, he'd switch back to being in charge—it's hard to bring him to the point where he's actually sexually frustrated, but it's not impossible, and trust me, you'll know when he crosses that threshold.

↳ The fact that he can take back control at any point is the reason he's not so antagonistic about the idea. But sex would definitely be much softer with you in charge than it typically is when he's the one on top.

自来也 • Jiraiya

NSFW

↳ Look. Jiraiya just strikes me as a man who likes a partner who can boss him around to begin with. I have this headcanon that he likes getting pegged by his s/o, so I don't even think this would be unusual for him that you want to be in charge.

↳ (He does assume a dominant role sometimes. I see him as a switch. But if you want to be the dom he won't even put up a fight.)

↳ So really, it would just be about you taking things up a notch and venture out of the usual things you do.

↳ Jiraiya likes being degraded. He gets off on you treating him like trash. Why do you think he keeps approaching women in a way he knows will get him instantly rejected, and with a good ass-whooping as a bonus ? I'm just saying. It's suspicious.

↳ So make him kneel in front of you. Play with his dick with your foot because he's not worth you bending over for.

↳ Hell, insult his dick, call it tiny, useless, not enough to satisfy you—make him feel like he has to prove his worth to you.

↳ He doesn't actually get hurt over these things. He knows you're lying, and you can't get him to actually feel humiliated. He just thinks it's hot when you talk dirty.

↳ Tie him up and gag him. He loves it.

↳ His definition of heaven is you sitting on his face, so don't shy away from using him like that.

↳ Just like Hashirama, the only thing you can't get him to do is to beg. But in Jiraiya's case, it's because he wants the punishment to last longer.

↳ You can ruin his orgasms and deny him all you want during the act but do not leave him hanging—he'll let you do pretty much whatever you want as long as he gets to cum in the end.

↳ He won't let you get away with this. If you try to pull this shit on him, you'll find that he can flip the switch real fucking quick and turn you into his bitch, and there's nothing you can do about it. (Except call your safeword, obviously.)

↳ You just don't want to have to deal with a sexually frustrated Jiraiya on your hands. Unless you like it when he's constantly whining and can't stay in place for more than two seconds.

↳ He's gonna jerk off in the great outdoors while pretending to pee in a bush if you make him wait too long. As long as, you know. There are no children around. He's kind of a creep but not a creep creep.

#madara uchiha #tobirama senju #hashirama senju #jiraiya #madara smut #madara headcanons #tobirama smut #tobirama headcanons #hashirama smut #hashirama headcanons #jiraiya smut #jiraiya headcanons #naruto headcanons

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liptonsbabe · 3 years ago

Text

My dear [S.U]

Sam Uley x Fem! reader!

Summary: “Did you have a hard day? You can complain to me. Did something make you almost cry? It’s alright, look at me. Starting from now, think of three really good things: the warm air, the dazzling weather, and me outside your window. I told you, you can see brightness only when it gets dark”

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, death, heart dissease and such. English not my mother language so pls let me know if something’s wrong

gif’s not mine

"Sorry to bother you, Chief," you said following the man's moves through your house. Charlie Swan was carrying a reclining chair with ease leaving it in the middle of the living room while you stood at the bottom of the stairs with your little four year old daughter in your arms. Cassie was exhausted. It had been a long plane ride and a bit more road travel, which knocked your little girl out as soon as you set foot in your new home in Forks. It was a long time since you had seen that place but of course you remembered Charlie Swan as kind as he had always been. Even when you were just starting to think about moving back to Forks he was the first to help you get a safe home for you and your daughter. You remembered looking up for Charlie's old phone number hoping it was still the same and when you dialed and heard the man's voice behind the phone you sighed in relief. At last life seemed to be smiling on you after a long time and Charlie was quick to offer to help you if you decided to return to town.

He told you about a house for sale next to his. The owner was elderly and preferred to live with one of her children and earn income from the house near the forest that could be bought by curious tourists so Charlie convinced her to sell you the house and at a lower price than she was originally asking because the house needed some repairs that he could do. So you thought no more about it and packed your things to return to Forks after the horrible years you had lived in Brownsville.

Charlie picked you up at the airport in his police cruiser and avoided turning on the siren cause Cassie was already half asleep in your arms when you got off the plane and he didn't want to disturb her, but Cassie had the strength to stay awake long enough to make him promise that next time he would turn on the siren as they drove around town.

The truth was that Charlie Swan was an angel. He arranged everything so you would have a quick return and even now he was bothering to get all your stuff out of the moving truck so you wouldn't have the worry of doing it later.

"Nonsense, I'm happy to do it. Besides, it's my day off."

"And that's why you shouldn't be doing all this. I know vacations for police officers are non-recurring."

"I'm the chief, I have certain privileges."

"Still."

"Well, I wasn't going to let you do this on your own" he replied, carrying the boxes with your and Cassie's clothes. He set them down on the kitchen island and leaned back against them to rest. You walked over and settling Cassie better in your arms you sat down in one of the chairs Charlie had given you "Billy and Jacob will be here in a little while to get all this settled so you can have your first night here without any problems."

"I still think it's too much. Stop spoiling me like this, Charlie, you even gave me part of your dining room!"

"Ah, it was nothing. Bella and I recently bought a new one and we didn't want to take it to the dump cause it still has some use. The table is made out of good wood and the chairs are freshly upholstered. Look at it, it suits perfectly!"

"That's not the point" you said, glancing sideways at the newly arranged dining room near the kitchen "The point is that you're doing a lot for me and it's not fair."

"Your father would have done the same for Bella if it had been about me" he replied reaching for a bottle of water from the installed cooler. A sudden tension appeared in the room as you both remembered what your father's life was like in Forks "Jackson was my best friend for a long time and when he died...I promised him that I would seek you out and support you as if you were my own and that is precisely what I am doing."

"You wouldn't have if I hadn't left and hadn't abandoned him. He died because of me"

"That's not true."

"He was left alone when I left. He died of grief"

"He died from the heart valve disease he had. Your father suffered it from a young age and even so, you had a right to look for your mother"

"I wish I hadn't" you murmured, cooing to Cassie who was beginning to get annoyed by the noise of your voices "I abandoned my father and didn't find anything worthwhile"

"Well, that doesn't matter anymore, stop tormenting yourself and thinking you killed your father. I was with him. He loved you and he died peacefully, remember him as the good man he was, child."

You sighed. Cassie went back to sleep peacefully

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I know it's not the same, but you have me now and I'd rather die than let you leave again, do you hear me?"

"Easy, I have no intention of doing that" you half smiled "I'm running away from the tracks I left in Brownsville, I have no desire to go back under any circumstances. What I'm worried about is that the tracks won't rub off and show the way to the one I'm hiding from"

Charlie clicked his tongue.

"That should be the least of your problems. I have a gun and I know how to use it. He'll have to deal with that first before he gets to you."

"Thanks, Charlie."

"Although, if Chief Swan is as good at shooting as he is at fishing then you'll have to learn how to handle a gun yourself, honey" a voice appeared from the doorway followed by a young man's laughter. You looked up meeting the unmistakable face of Billy Black next to his son Jacob. Billy entered your house being pushed by Jacob leaving him next to Charlie as he rolled his eyes "Be a little more modest, buddy."

"There's nothing wrong with bragging once in a while."

"Yeah, but you do it all the time."

"Shut up."

"Make me"

Charlie got up from his spot lunging towards Billy who ina swift movement spun the wheels of his chair avoiding Charlie's attack thus beginning a chase through the house dodging the obstacles of boxes on the floor. Jacob laughed taking Charlie's place in front of you.

"I thought we were coming to help with the move, not to watch them play like preschoolers?"

"Me too. I think Cassie will get along with them."

"Your little girl will beat them up right away"

"Probably."

You giggled quietly avoiding waking Cassie as Charlie and Billy finished their game to go back to the truck and get the last boxes, then you could finally get everything settled at home. Jacob smiled, looking at you

"I'm Jacob. You may not remember me but..."

"Are you kidding? I used to give you the bottle."

"No you didn't."

"Of course i did! My dad used to visit your parents a lot and he used to take me with him. You were a newborn baby and I used to volunteer to help Sarah feed you. You were the worst baby ever. You cried too loudly and squeezed the bottle with your swollen gums. Then you'd throw the milk back and you used to get really messy. Your poop was the smelliest I could remember."

"Don't say that!" he replied, embarrassed "I see you do remember me."

"And Quill and Embry. Tell me, are they still the same old fools?"

"They haven't changed at all."

You laughed.

"Perfect."

"Ok, these are the last boxes" announced Charlie walking into the house carrying with him a small box with Cassie's toys. Billy came in behind with some boxes on his lap "I think now we can get everything organized and finishing in time for you to get some rest."

"I'll clean up the little girl's room" offered Jacob standing up "then I'll fill the closet and set up the bed so you can lay her down, you must be tired from carrying her around for so long. is that okay with you?" he asked you. You nodded

"Yes, thank you Jacob."

"You're welcome. Give me that" The boy took the boxes off his father's legs and picked up Charlie's, all with one arm and with the other he carried the folding base of the bed. You opened your eyes wide

"Easy, big guy, when did you get so strong?"

"I don't know. It just... showed up" he replied disappearing up the stairs

"It showed up" said Charlie "Ah, I hope shows up something like that to me"

"Don’t hold your breath as that happens" Billy joked.

"I should do something for lunch" you said trying to stand up. You were going to put Cassie down on one of the couches and put some cushions around her, but Charlie won't let you. Billy agreed

"None of that. We'll order something."

"But..."

"Nothing" interrupted Billy "We'll buy pizza"

"You guys really need to stop doing this" you reproached. Billy picked up his phone

"Ah, sorry, you had to say that earlier, I'm already on the call."

"You guys are unbelievable"

Charlie smiled

"We know. oh I'll get Bella, she hasn't said hello yet" Charlie walked out before you could say anything else and closed the door dismissing the moving truck. Billy smiled complicitly, placed the order, gave the address and left the cell phone on the kitchen bar

"Dinner is served."

"Thank you."

"They had children's menu, so I ordered it for Cassie. I hear their brownies are delicious. Maybe I'll steal it for myself."

"I'll keep it as a secret"

Billy nodded with a smile and as the food arrived you chatted animatedly about what had happened in your absence, he also told you things about your father and all the times they went fishing together before his death. You were enjoying Billy's stories when time began to pass and Charlie didn’t return with Bella as he promised. Jacob was finishing Cassie's room and when the pizza arrived he came downstairs immediately, asking about Charlie's whereabouts.

"He went to get Bella, but he hasn't come back yet."

"That's strange, his house is right next door."

"Maybe something came up for him at the station" Billy shrugged.

You decided to wait for the Swans to eat, but seeing that they didn't show up Jacob offered to investigate what was going on when suddenly the door opened and a very worried Charlie Swan walked in wiping the sweat from his brow

"Bella’s missing."

"What?"

Jacob suddenly became alert and Billy remained static in his place. You felt a knot in your stomach. While riding in the police cruiser that morning, you had heard something about tourist disappearances and wild creatures killing people in the woods and you feared Bella might be in that kind of danger. You were never close, but you knew her and occasionally went out together to talk or share a movie night. You still hadn't seen her after the years you were away and the least you wanted was for something bad to happen to her.

"Did you talk to any of her friends?"

"She was with them during classes, but they lost track of her on her way here. I'll call the Cullens, maybe..."

"You didn't know?" asked Billy "The Cullens left Forks, Charlie."

"Where did they go?"

"We'll find her" encouraged Jacob "But we have to go out and look for her before dark."

"I'll go with you" you said "I'll take Cassie to her room and..."

"No, no, stay" Charlie asked you "I left a note for Bella at home in case she comes back she’ll know that she has to come here and wait for me. If she does, call me right away, please" you nodded

"I'll call Harry and ask him to join along with the boys" Billy said and wheeled away down the hallway holding the phone to his ear. Charlie and Jacob left and you decided to take Cassie to the room, go down to the kitchen and make some coffee for the Brigadiers and Bella. If she was alone in the woods and the night was catching up with her then she was going to need something hot to get her strength back.

You hoped with all your heart that she was all right. For her, for Charlie.

Hours passed one after another with no sign of Bella. Your driveway was carpeted with people and police cruisers specially brought by Charlie to search for Bella. The entire town was scoured by officers from the early hours of the night, yet there was no trace of the chief's daughter. You decided to join the search taking the opportunity that Sue Clearwater was playing with Cassie - who was awakened by the ruckus of the patrol cars - asking if it was a good idea to search for her in the woods, but Harry refused.

"It's too dangerous, we don't know what might be among the trees. We can't risk losing any more people."

You were about to object his words when Jacob came up to you putting a hand on your shoulder telling you that he was right and that the forest was something not to be taken lightly. So you gave up, deciding to go back inside and refill the coffee pot when Jacob alerted Charlie that someone had found Bella.

A tall man walked in a straight line toward the Brigadiers where Billy and Harry watched him with restrained relief. He had a stocky frame and Bella unconscious in his arms seemed to weigh no more than a feather. His cropped black hair was messy and his lack of a shirt told you that the icy cold of the city didn't affect him at all

You knew him. His face was very familiar yet strange at the same time. You were back in Forks after a few years, but you knew that no one could change that much in that period of time.

Sam Uley was holding Bella and Charlie took her in his arms as he came out of the stupor and relief of having found his daughter. The Brigadiers sighed in unison and Billy thanked them all. You wanted to do something, to approach Charlie, to ask him if he needed help with Bella, but your eyes were caught in Sam’s.

They were dark, wild, like the forest behind him. You remembered him perfectly.

Before you left Forks you two were close friends and came to like each other as something more, but your leaving ended that and what you might have been up to that point.

You tried to look away, but then Sam's huge body began to shake, his knees buckled and he fell to the ground resting his hands on the dirt. Harry Clearwater reacted and approached him asking if he was okay.

"Tired" you heard him whisper causing you to shudder. Harry helped him up, whispered something in his ear and after taking one last look at you he disappeared into the woods. Harry walked back towards you.

"I thought the forest was dangerous"

"For us."

"What do you mean?"

Harry looked at you. Then he looked at his wife with Cassie in her arms standing at the doorway . He smiled.

"You'll find out soon, child"

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captains-simp · 4 years ago

Note

Yelena Belova + Fake dating Au!! pls 🥲 :)

I've been waiting for someone to pick the fake dating one *fist pumps air* I'm gonna combine this with your other request if that's okay

"I think I'm inlove with you."

Warnings: shitty family and homophobia

7.7k words

A/n: if y'all want me to do this oneshot again but with Wanda (cos I'm a lazy hoe) just lemme know 👀 I think it would work pretty well 👀

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Pleeaasse, Lena." You pouted once again. You had been begging Yelena for the favour for an hour now; her stubborness was proving hard to overcome.

"I'm busy." Yelena said, her accent strong as she walked around her appartment to collect things for her next mission.

"But will you be busy on the 10th?" You asked from the couch where you watched her disappear into various rooms as she talked.

"I thought you said it was a few days." Yelena quipped, seemingly only giving you half her attention.

"It is." You confirmed with some hope.

"So I'd need to clear my schedule for more than just the 10th." You huffed and rested your head on the back of couch.

"Yes you would. I'm sure Natasha can manage without you for a few days."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that." She muttered.

"Please, Lena." You tried. "I need a win." Yelena stopped by the kitchen counter and gave you a long, considering look. You had long given up on your puppy dog eyes and instead copied her expression as you chewed on your bottom lip.

"I'll think about it." Yelena finally said before grabbing something from the cupboard.

It was the best response you had gotten all night and you knew you wouldn't get anything more. So you accepted it and hoped for the best.

Your parents had invited you to their cabin for a few days just like they did every year. It was a beautiful place. You could spend your whole visit in the forest along the back. Or swimming in the clear lake that was a short walk away. The cabin itself was the cosiest place you had ever been and had been where some of your best memories had happened as a kid.

As you got older things changed. Being around your family, especially your parents, wasn't as enjoyable. They had high expectations for their children, expectations that your siblings had met without a problem but ones that you had struggled with.

You enjoyed your life. You had the kind of relationships you had always hoped for, you loved your job and you had the perfect balance of the two. But you could never shake the feeling that you had failed.

Your brother was a surgeon who always told you all stories of the lives he saved and the close calls he had swooped in to save people from. One of your sisters was some hot shot lawyer who had done great things like help people wrongly convicted but still put dangerous people back on the street. And your other sister was the CEO of an energy company that you never quite understood. They even all had equally successful partners who loved to talk about themselves as much as your siblings did. You didn't have any of that. But you did have Yelena.

Knowing the Avengers was the only thing about you your family took interest in. They were always subtly hinting at wanting to meet your friends. But you knew the Avengers had to endure enough fan service and didn't want to push your family onto them, especially with how annoying they all were.

However as your family's unrealistic expectations reached their all time high you were sure you wouldn't be able to handle another trip with them without a win, and you were far too petty to take the moral high ground and just not go. Not to mention that was a huge part of you that was dying to see what the Yelena girlfriend experience would entail. Yep, that was what you were asking of Yelena. To pretend to be your partner for the duration of the trip.

"When are you going?" You asked, changing the subject in hopes that Yelena wouldn't suddenly conclude she didn't want to do it (then you really would have to ask one of the others).

You knew it wasn't a smart choice. That if Yelena agreed your crush on her could get out of hand. You knew you would end up getting too caught up in the act. You could have, no - should have - asked Natasha or Wanda or even Carol if she was around. But your family knew you were the closest with Yelena and she would be the one it felt the most natural with, and the most believable. At least, that was what you told Yelena.

"Tomorrow." Yelena answered, keeping her focused tone.

"When will you be back?" You attempted to keep the concern out of your voice but the glance Yelena gave you told you you hadn't done a good job.

"The day after." She said, softer this time. You nodded as you looked down at your lap and tried not to think about everything that could possibly go wrong on her mission.

"Be safe." Yelena strolled over to you and placed her hand gently ontop of yours and gave it a quick squeeze.

"Always."

"Got any plans Saturday night?" Natasha smirked knowingly at her friend as they preped for their mission.

"No." Yelena replied as she slotted a spare gun into her leg harness.

"Nothing with y/n then?" Nat asked, partly genuinely but mostly knowing Yelena would still say no.

"No." Yelena said again, biting the inside of her cheek in consideration before speaking again. "Not this Saturday."

Natasha raised an eyebrow in surprise and interest. Yelena rarely made any kind of special plans with you as you would always hang out casually so it was never anything fancy or different that needed planning. She had always wanted to though.

"Plans for another time?" Nat continued as she double checked her pack.

"Maybe, I'm still thinking about it." The redhead turned fully to her friend at her words, confused at why Yelena was hesitant to spend time with you. "She wants me to go to the cabin with her and her family." Nat had heard all about the infamous cabin and your family.

"That sounds fun." Nat nodded. The cabin sounded fun. Your family did not.

"As her girlfriend." Nat's eyes widened excitedly but before she could speak Yelena clarified. "Her pretend girlfriend."

Nat paused and looked as though she was going to speak for several seconds until she stuck to just giving a confused look.

"Yeah." Yelena sighed. "Thinks it would seem impressive." Yelena had tried not to be hurt over that. She knew you weren't just friends with her to show her off to people, because you never did. But it hurt her to think the only time you could see her in a romantic way was when you were pretending.

"Well," Nat muttered as she adjusted the zip along the front of her catsuit. "Fake it till you make it." It was Yelena's turn to give Nat a questioning look. "Maybe it'll be an eye opener for her."

"You think I should do it?" Yelena asked, fully open to hearing and accepting her friend's advice in that area.

"Definelty." Nat confirmed. She wasn't sure about it for the reasons she said though. Yelena's crush on you was obvious to everyone except you, just as it was vice versa.

You had been overjoyed when Yelena told you she would come with you to the cabin and play along as your girlfriend. She had told you when she came back from her mission, in fact it was the first thing she said after she had let herself into your appartment.

It was never really brought up after that, but you couldn't deny you were incredibly anxious on the week leading up to the visit.

On the drive up to the cabin you and Yelena stayed in a comfortable silence most of the time, clearly both lost in thought. You had the radio on for background noise more than anything else, but you would occasionally lightly tap the steering wheel if there was a tune you recognised, oblivious to Yelena's acknowledging smiles.

"So what's the plan?" Yelena asked as she looked at you expectantly. Right, of course the spy wanted a strategy.

"Keep things simple, I guess. They know how we met already so we can just say at some point we took things a step further than friendship." Yelena didn't seem convinced at the simplicity of that. "Look they're not going to want to hear about us, not much at least. They prefer the sound of their own voices, they'll be trying to impress you is all."

"Impress me?" Yelena asked.

"Yeah, hope you warm up to them so one day they can invite you to their snobby parties." Yelena chuckled as she glanced out of the window, knowing there was a lot of truth to what you said.

"And what are those like?" She enquired curiously.

"I wouldn't know, I've never been invited." You said simply. You had gotten over that a long time ago, gotten used to being forgotten. Yelena clearly hadn't though.

"It will be an honour to turn them down." Yelena said. You shook your head and smiled at her. That did sound pretty nice.

When the cabin came into sight between the trees your nerves spiked. You figited in your seat and bit your lip when you saw some of your family gathered outside, their attention instantly on you. You shot Yelena a quick smile which she returned before you got out of the car.

"Y/n! So nice of you to come." You mum said as her eyes flickered to Yelena more than you. She opened her arms for the shortiest hug in human history before turning to Yelena. "You must be Yelena, we've heard so much." You mum insisted as she brought Yelena in for a hug too.

The blonde raised her eyebrows at you over your mum's shoulder and you bite back a laugh. The others came over to greet you and mainly Yelena in a rush, overwhelming both of you.

"You too will be in the upstairs bedroom on the left." Your mum told you as you went to grab your bags. You did a double take, convinced you had heard her wrong. That was the best room in the house. A big difference from being in the small room in the basement every other time you had been there.

"First one on the left." Your dad confirmed. There was no way your parents were going to be in the basement so you wondered who else had been moved around but didn't ask, knowing whoever it was wasn't going to be happy.

You and Yelena made your way up to the room and you couldn't help but smile at the sight of the spacious room and the door you knew led to your en suite.

"That was...a lot." Yelena summarised as she said her bag under the bed.

"I would tell you it gets better but I don't want to get your hopes up." You sighed as you got a couple of things out.

"It's just a few days." Yelena said despite the fact you should have been assuring her.

"Yeah." You nodded and stared down at the floor. "Now c'mon." You suddenly said as you took ahold of Yelena's hand and laced your fingers together. You missed the startled blush that crept onto her cheeks when you turned around.

Your family were sat outside whispering amongst themselves when you returned. Their interested gaze fell to your entwined hands in an instant.

"So you work with the Avengers?" Your brother, Dalton, said as soon as you both sat down.

"I do." Yelena said as she continued to hold onto your hand.

"Must be crazy, what are they like?" He enquired.

"They're good." Yelena said simply. Everyone clearly expected something more but Yelena pretended not to notice making you smile.

"I almost did business with Stark once, decided against it in the end." Claire announced proudly. You and Yelena exchanged knowing glances. Stark had told you all about his encounter with your sister, it definetly wasn't her turning him down.

"I was invited to one of his parties." Anna said quickly. "I was busy that night unfortunately."

Bull. Shit.

"Yes I remember working with Doctor Strange when he was still in the medical profession." You gave Yelena an I-told-you-so look as your family erupted into conversation over who had the most contact with the heroes. That had to be a new record of how quickly they started talking about themselves.

They continued like that until your mum called everyone in for dinner. The food smelt undeniably amazing as you took your place at the table next to Yelena and eyed the dishes infront of you. Your parents efforts to impress the blonde weren't all that bad.

Your family continued to catch up and and you and Yelena half listened as you ate. They were all doing as well for themselves as ever and still hadn't learnt any modesty.

Although you were proud of your siblings for what they had all achieved, Yelena had stopped four potentially devastating bombs going off in the space of half an hour a week before but she wasn't going to bring that up anytime soon. Eventually though, the attention turned to you to bring you out of your silence.

"And you're still working in that little café, y/n?" Your mum asked curiously.

"I own it, mum." You corrected quietly as you stabbed some pieces on your plate.

"Ah yes, quite the contrast though, isn't it. Between you two." She said as she pointed at you and Yelena with her fork. You didn't say anything to that because you felt there really wasn't anything to say in response. It wasn't like you hadn't thought that exact thing every now and then.

"The team loves it." Yelena said suddenly making everyone, including you, look at her in slight surprise from speaking up. It hadn't taken your family long to learn Yelena wasn't much of a talker, not to them anyway. You couldn't get her to shut up half the time. "At least one of us goes everyday. If we're lucky we all can. Nothing beats it." She defended simply before turning back to her food to show she wasn't going to say anymore. You smiled down at your plate at her words and the truth of them.

No one said anything in response, clearly shocked from this new information until Dalton spoke up.

"But doesn't Stark like fancy, top of the line, restaurants? I can't imagine him in some random coffee shop, no offence sis." He nodded towards you though you knew he didn't mean it. He couldn't let you have just one win.

"That random coffee shop has catered some of Stark's parties. Not that many though." A smug smile crept onto Dalton's face as he opened his mouth to make a snarky remark but Yelena cut him down again. "Because y/n's invited to the rest as a guest and a close friend." Your family stared at you with open mouths.

"You've been invited to Stark's parties?!" Anna exclaimed. In your defence, your family never wanted to hear about your life so you never got the chance to tell them anything.

"It's not really my crowd." You shrugged. "I just go to hang out with them after." Dalton's jaw clenched in annoyance and he didn't say anything for the rest of dinner. It was only really your mum who kept talking. Telling everyone about her latest travels that fell on death ears.

It was certainly a first for your family.

When everyone had finished their food you and Yelena excused yourselves and said goodnight before retiring to your room. Yelena shut the door gently as you collapsed onto the bed on your back and glared at the ceiling. The blonde shuffled around quietly to get her toothbrush and toothpaste and some other things you weren't really paying attention to and went into the bathroom.

When she came back out she was in her bedclothes and lifted your feet off the floor to turn you so you could fully lay on the bed. You smiled at her weakly.

"You should go get changed." Yelena said as she got her laptop out her bag. "Then you can pick a movie." She announced when she had gotten under the covers and started her laptop. You smiled more and nodded.

You tried not to think about your family and everything they had said at dinner as you got changed but it proved difficult. Everything they had said echoed around in your head but most of all you couldn't shake the disregarding ways they said it. It was as though you could do no right with them. Maybe they would never be proud no matter what you did.

You placed your toothbrush back I'm the holder and rinsed your mouth before heading back into the bedroom to an awaiting Yelena.

You got under the covers next to her and rested your head on her shoulder as you glanced at the Netflix screen and pointed to one of the comedy movies. About ten minutes into the movie Yelena spoke. "You okay?" She whispered as she continued to look at the screen although that wasn't where her focus was.

"Yeah." You whispered back.

"Promise?" She said after a second." You moved your head away so you could see Yelena clearly.

"I'm so glad you're here." You said honestly. She smiled and nodded as her eyes searched yours.

"I'm glad I'm here too." You knew Yelena wasn't glad she had to spend the time with your family. She was glad that she could support you despite their efforts to bring you down. You were incredibly lucky to have her.

You rested your head back on her shoulder and neither of you spoke for the rest of the movie. Or the rest of the night. You must have fallen asleep about half an hour in.

Yelena wasn't much of an intimate person. She made the odd exception with you and Natasha, but always seemed to refrain or hold herself back from being too close to you. So when you woke up and couldn't tell where your limbs started and Yelena's ended, you were surprised to say the least.

You were resting your head on her rising chest and had your arm slung across her stomach. Your legs were tangled together and her arms were holding onto your waist. A warmth spread through you and you decided to settle back into her hold and closed your eyes with a content smile.

You had about ten minutes to enjoy that before Yelena woke up. You could feel the moment she realized you were so close, she physically froze. You waited in anticipation for something for several moments until your friend very slowly unhooked her legs and guided your body to lay against the mattress and pillows as she slipped out of bed towards the bathroom.

You sighed when you heard the door close and rubbed your eyes slowly, knowing you should get up but wishing more than anything that you could return to how you woke up.

"Morning." Yelena croaked when she left the bathroom and saw you sitting up in bed.

"Morning." You said back with a smile and tried not to focus on how ridiculously attractive her voice sounded.

You gathered some random clothes into a bundle and went into the bathroom to change again and brush your teeth. When you came out Yelena was pulling her shirt over her head and gave you a generous view of her toned stomach. Your face heated up when you saw it and you turned away to pretend you hadn't seen when Yelena noticed you.

"Don't make a sound." Yelena warned. You glanced up at her with some confusion. "I don't think your family's awake yet, that means we get the kitchen to ourselves." She grinned and you did too.

You and Yelena had gotten so used to getting up early for your jobs you forgot other people would still be sleeping. It was hard to break out of the habit but it proved useful.

The pair of you made a quick breakfast and ate it outside thanks to the warm weather even at that time. But soon enough your parents came downstairs and ruined the peaceful atmosphere with the clanging of pots and loud convosations.

You wandered around the side of the house and saw the old table tennis table that bad been folded away years ago and hadn't been set up since. You went over and started setting it up when Yelena joined you and eyed the table with a glimmer of mischief.

The blonde was the most competitive person you had ever met, you learnt that over a simple game of snakes and ladders years ago.

"You played this before?" You asked convosationally.

"I have." She said as you both automatically took up your positions of opposite ends of the table.

"Me too." You said confidently. "A lot." Yelena hummed in acknowledgment and swivelled her bat in her hand and stood ready. You smiled at her seriousness for the game.

You served surprisingly well for someone who hadn't played in a few years and Yelena was able to hit it back with ease. Once you had developed a steady pace you started hitting the ball more daringly to Yelena who was caught off guard before she started doing the same.

The moment you missed the ball a smug grin started on Yelena's face, her arrogance stopped her being aware of you suddenly sending the ball back her way until it was too late.

"That wasn't fair!" She exclaimed childishly.

"That was tables tennis." You said seriously but started smiling again. Yelena rolled her eyes and flipped you off as she trudged back to the table and served the ball with force. You managed to send it back but took a step away from the table in caution.

You continued like that for a while. The competition tension rising as you picked up the pace, one of you occasionally getting a point before the other evened it out.

At one point you were vaguely aware of Dalton sauntering over to see what you were doing and arched his brow at the sight of the table.

"We still have this thing?" He questioned and you hummed quietly in response, too focused on the game.

"Hey Claire! Get over here, we're playing table tennis." You rolled your eyes at the intrusive and could sense Yelena refraining from doing the same until an idea popped into your head.

You caught the ball in your hand and smiled at Yelena's protests as you moved round to her side of the table just as your sister came out.

"I didn't even know we still had this." Claire laughed as she picked up another bat from the box.

"Maybe we should take it back with us." Yelena whispered to you and you bit your lip to contain your smile because yes, yes you should. Inevitably, your siblings sucked at table tennis.

You had suspected as much you just never thought they would be as bad as they were. They missed almost every hit and everytime they did they got increasingly angry, which meant they ended up flaring their arms around like idiots. It was a memory you would be sure to treasure.

"Stupid game" and "probably broken" kept echoing across the table until your siblings finally stormed off to throw a tantrum.

The rest of the day went by quietly. You and Yelena sat by the lake for most of the afternoon to enjoy the sun and heat. You reveled in the most recent memories of your siblings embarrassment and had to keep hushing down to childish whispered whoever one of them was nearby.

Surprisingly, dinner went by peacefully too. You weren't asked anymore questions at the table. Instead, your family were content with talking about their upcoming plans between stealing glances at you and Yelena that the blonde never failed to notice.

The pair of you slipped off to your room the first moment you got and easily fell into bed besides one another. Yelena picked out a horror movie instantly making you groan into her shoulder as she giggled.

She settled down beside you and within the first few jumpscares she slowly wrapped an arm around your shoulder so you could sink into her further. You were barely paying attention to the film after that.

Despite the chilling scenes of the film, you couldn't help but want to melt under the warmth of your best friend. You hoped it was something you got to experience more, you felt safer than you ever had in Yelena's arms.

Little did you know that having you in her arms was the most comforting feeling Yelena had ever experienced.

You had thought waking up in Yelena's arms the morning before had been the best thing to awake to. But that day when you woke up not only were your legs tangled together again but the blonde was slowly stroking your hair while your head rested on her chest. It was a gradual gesture that maintained a perfect rhythm and made you want to fall back asleep. But you were afraid you would mistake it for a dream later on. No, it was definitely real.

Luckily, your head was already tilted upwards slightly so when you secretly opened your eyes to risk a peek at your friend you saw her staring out the window as though she was in a trance. She was clearly so deep in thought she hadn't noticed you wake up, you had never seen her like it. But the feeling was too good to ignore, too compelling.

Soon enough, you found yourself drifting off back to sleep.

When you woke up again Yelena was gone. Her absence left am emptiness you knew wasn't good for you. As the days of your visit went on your fake relationship with Yelena was going to effect you even more when it was over.

Over...you couldn't think about that.

Once you got up and got changed you found Yelena in the kitchen looking at the news on her phone as she sipped her coffee.

"Morning, honey." You grinned. Yelena blushed slightly into her coffee, something you thought was undeniably adorable.

"Morning yourself." She tried to play off smoothly making you grin more.

You made breakfast for you both just as your mum came into the kitchen and greeted you both with an overplayed smile, already talking to Yelena about an upcoming party that she should go to. Yelena mumbled something about a full schedule as you managed to whisp her away outside with your food.

Eventually, you and Yelena became bored with sitting around in the house when you had such amazing surroundings on your doorstep. You declared that you were going on a walk with the blonde and left before any of your family could invite themselves to go with you. Especially as you had told your friend to wear her swimwear underneath her clothing as you had a surprise for her.

You made a point of holding Yelena's hand as you left and once you were far away from the house went to take it back only for her to hold on tighter.

"You never know where they could be lurking." She joked as an excuse, so you starting swinging your arms playfully as to assure her you wanted your hands to stay linked together too.

You spent hours in those woods and was thankful for having a spy best friend who of course knew to pack the essentials like food and drinks so you could stay away from the house as long as you wanted. The blonde brought so much you were able to have a small picnic on top of a hill that overlooked the large lake that stretched out all the way back to the house. You remembered thinking up stories as to explain the strange shape and curves to it as a child.

"It's beautiful here." Yelena said as she picked some grapes from the bunch between you.

"It is." You agreed with a fond smile.

"I used to want to live in a place like this." She muttered, sparking your interest.

"In the woods?" You asked curiously and she nodded.

"I thought I could retire to the woods and get a small cabin and I could grow my own food and that was all I needed." You hummed with a smile as you studied Yelena's features.

"Sounds lonely." You thought aloud.

"I'd have a cat." She said simply making you laugh. "I never used to think that but now when it crosses my mind and I picture that life... I picture someone else there with me." You knew she was imagining it as she spoke and you wished you could see exactly what it was she wanted.

"We could always downgrade the holiday house." You half joked as you nodded in the vague direction of the house. "Make it a simple cabin."

"We?" Yelena asked hopefully, the emotion clear before she had a chance to conceal it.

"There's no one I'd rather run away and live in the forest with." You joked although there was a lot of truth to your words. The blonde considered you for a while before smiling and nodded as though she had reached her own internal conclusion.

"Come on." You said suddenly as you stood up and dusted yourself off.

"You want to go back?" Yelena asked and you grinned.

"I'm going to show you that surprise." You declared and packed the remaining food away. Yelena did the same, eager to see the surprise you kept secret the whole way.

It was quite a way back to the house. The whole time Yelena kept asking more questions about it but you wouldn't say. She could only make guesses based on the swim wear which should have left only a few options, non of which she got right.

Finally, you arrived where you wanted to and grinned at Yelena before starting towards the edge. The blonde frowned as she watched you approach the ledge and became worried when she invisioned the steep slope that didn't always lead to water straight down. If you were to fall... your friend didn't have to wait long to see that. You slipped along the edge and disappeared from her view as she gave a startled cry and sprinted towards the edge and knelt over with wide eyes, expecting to see something that could haunt her forever but instead she saw you on a wide ledge but seven feet below her.

To your left was part of the ledge that had been dug into randomly and acted as perfect aid to get back into the woods above.

"Come down here." You beckoned as you starter to take your top off. Yelena's eyes widened more and quickly turned around and dropped down next to you steadily.

She glanced over the side of the small ledge to glance at the fifty foot drop into the water. There was nothing in the way to fall onto but there was no telling how deep that water was.

"You can't go in like that." You laughed as you kicked off your shorts and pushed them to the side. Yelena's face heated up at the sight of you in your y/f/c bikini as you assessed the view. But even in her flustered state she was able to put it all together.

"You want to jump down there?" She exclaimed making you laugh.

"I've done it tones of times." You assured. "It's fun."

"It's a death wish! What if the waters not deep enough?" She questioned making you laugh more.

"Are you scared, Lena." You teased as you took a step towards her making her avert her eyes from your form. She scoffed to play it off.

"Of course not." You hummed in faux belief.

"Well then I'll see you down there." You grinned and took a couple of steps back until your feet were no longer on the platform and you were plummeting down towards the water where you landed with a splash.

Yelena held her breath as she waited for you to resurface for a few agonising seconds. When you did with a gasp and started kicking around frantically to keep yourself afloat with your built up adrenaline the blonde sighed in relief and started taking off her own shorts and shirt and placed them next to your things.

You've jumped from higher. She told herself as she rocked on her feet. With a harness! She argued back before she shoved those thoughts aside and threw herself off the ledge and into the water below.

You laughed as she came back up and pushed her hair away from her way. You swam closer to her and saw her wide smile.

"Fuck." Yelena whispered with a laugh as she looked back up from where you had both come.

"Told you it was fun." You teased as you tried not to focus on the low cut on her bikini bra.

"Yeah yeah." She laughed and adulterer when she looked past you and saw you were surprisingly close to the house. She could see the outline of your family sat outside.

"They're looking." Yelena muttered. You could tell by the look on her face who she was talking about. It wasn't like there was anyone else around either.

"Do you think they've caught on?" You asked nervously as you stared at Yelena's grey eyes to stop you looking at your family.

"Maybe..." She considered and glanced around. "It's not like we've been acting like that much of a couple." You scoffed at that.

"At home everyone assumes we're dating and the one time we need it be believable it isn't." You rolled your eyes but couldn't help the smile.

"I know." Yelena laughed for a second but then paused. "Then let's give them something believable." She gently placed both her hands on your waist and pulled you slowly towards her. You let her guide you and took extra notice of the water droplets across her face. You almost trembled when your bare stomachs pressed together in the water lightly.

Yelena's soft hands left your waist and gripped your thighs to pull you up to wrap your legs around her own waist. You couldn't help but giggle at the gesture as you wrapped your arms around the blonde's neck and held onto her waist with your legs in a lock.

"Can I?" Yelena whispered when she lifted your chin with her finger and her other hand came round the back of your neck.

"Just shut up and kiss me." You demanded with a playful smile and leaned in to do it yourself.

You smiled into the kiss and felt Yelena do the same. It was everything you had ever imagined it to be. Her lips were soft and fell into place perfectly against your own as they moved together.

You mind was hazey and your stomach was doing flips at the realisation that you were actually kissing your long time crush. You forced yourself to remember that it was all a show. That Yelena didn't mean it. But she put on a believable act and kissed passionately, even slipping her tongue through your parter lips to explore your mouth further.

When she eventually pulled away you rested your foreheads together to catch your breath and grinned as you closed your eyes.

"You're a really good kisser." You blurted out making Yelena chuckle.

"Not too bad yourself." She teased.

"I hope not, we're gonna have to do that again." You smiled and instantly realized that sounded like a confession you desperetly wished you could claim. "You know because...Once probably wasn't enough to make it entirely believable." You rambled and Yelena nodded somewhat stiffly and let your legs drop back down.

You wanted to say something to her, anything but it was all stuck on the tip of your tongue.

Just as you opened your mouth to speak, a small murmurarion of starlings flew across the lake, some of them skimming the water then gaining height again as they got closer to you and Yelena.

You both ducked instinctively as they flew over your heads and off towards the forest again as you watched them in awe until they disappeared. You glanced up at the sky and noticed the sun had gone behind a cloud, ableing you to continue looking up at the other birds higher up.

You kicked your legs up slightly so you could lay on your back and outstretch your arms to keep you afloat in the water so you could stare up at the sky without hurting your neck.

You didn't realise Yelena mimicked you until her hands brushed against yours. She withdrew it as soon as you touched and went to murmmer an apology but you smiled and held onto her hand as you both lay watching the birds.

Neither of you had to say anything. It was a comfortable and peaceful silence that was occasionally filled with birds chirping or the sound of a calm breeze. Of all the things you expected to feel on that trip, relaxed was not one of them. You stayed like that for a while until you were both snapped out of your daydreams by the distant yell that declared dinner. Well, you had to go back to them eventually.

Both of you took your time swimming back to dry land and only felt a shiver when you left the water and the breeze hit you. Yelena spotted and reached the towels before you and wrapped yours around you tightly. You thanked her with a small blush as you both sauntered up to the house where the mouthwatering smell of a barbecue greeted you. Your dad was leaning over it while shooing your brother away as he tried to offer his 'help'.

You and Yelena went inside to change swiftly and came back outside as the food was being placed on plates and your mum finished setting up the buffet.

Everyone starter helping themselves and you piled as much food as you could onto the plate. You parents had asked what food Yelena liked and when you gave them a brief list you added in a few things you knew you both loved.

"You gonna eat all that?" Anna asked as she eyed all the food on your plate. Guilt and insecurities washed over you until Yelena purposefully grabbed a large handful of small sausage rolls and put them on her plate that was piled with a considerable amount more food than your own. You smiled at the reassuring gesture as she sat down with a satisfied grin on her face when she saw Anna close her mouth to stay quiet.

"Thanks." You whispered to her as you sat down.

"If you don't eat all that I will." She declared. You were pretty sure she went back for seconds.

Instead of disappearing back to your room like you did the previous nights, you and Yelena stayed with your family for a while after dinner. It wasn't to do with their company, more the mesmerising fire in the firepit you all sat around. You were cuddled up into Yelena's side with a blanket over both of you as you stared at the flames, smiling at their small flickers and dances.

"So Yelena," one of your sisters began, "are any of the other Avengers...you know." She nodded her head in the direction of you both.Oh boy, you though.

"I don't think it's my place to say." Yelena said because yes, a lot of the Avengers were queer.

"Oh come on, you can tell us." Anna encouraged as she sat forward eagerly.

"I could, but I'm not going to." Yelena continued to defy.

"Lay off it guys." You mumbled but was ignored. Your family took it in turns saying her teammates names in hopes of sparking a reaction, clearly forgetting they were facing a spy.

"Stark!" Claire said but was instantly shut down by the others.

"He's married!" Dalton objected.

"Could still be bi though." Claire tried but Dalton just scoffed.

"I suppose there's going to be more surprises."

"What does that mean?" Yelena asked with narrowed eyes. Dalton met her gaze with his own challenging one.

"I just never thought one of the Avengers would be a dyke." You felt Yelena stiffen as you all held your breath. There was no way to tell what was going through the blonde's mind, especially as after all those years of friendship you still didn't even know what team she batted for. She was an ally at least, but would she see this as her battle to fight?

Upon getting no reaction, Dalton continued. "It makes sense why you'd hang out with y/n though, we always knew something was wrong with her but-"

"That's enough." Your mum snapped with a guilty expression she failed to mask. You swallowed hard and moved to get up, deciding you had heard enough.

"Then you're idiots." Yelena stated as she glared daggers at your brother while you sunk down.

"I'll have you know I have a doctorate-"

"Your idiots." She repeated. "There's nothing wrong with y/n, which is impressive considering she's grown up around you lot." You looked at your friend in awe as she continued.

"She's the most amazing person I've ever known, including any of the Avengers. She's everything that you're not and I'm lucky to call her my girlfriend. It doesn't matter what any of you think of her, I love her and I always will." She declared as shot daggers at each individual family member who had fallen silent. She took your hand and pulled you up from your seat to take you inside.

You couldn't get her saying she loved you out of your head. You reminded yourself over and over again on the way to your room that it was just an act. That the blonde was making her point. But God, how you wished it was real.

She was so gentle with you as she guided you through the house. When you got to your room and broke down sobbing she held you on the bed for a long time until your cries turned to sniffles. The thing was, you weren't sure what you were crying over. Sure, what Dalton had said had hurt. As did the confirmation that your whole family had always looked down on you. But you had known that was the case for a long time, you had moved on from it.

Instead, you may have being crying over what you didn't know and didn't have. How much of what Yelena said was true? It was all based off of something that wasn't real. What if she saw you the same way your family did?

When you stopped crying you became aware of Yelena gently stroking your hair as she rested her head on yours and held you close to her. You remembered the memories you had accumulated over the past few days with her. The kisses, the hand holding, the nights together, how she stood up for you like no one ever had. You loved her so much.

"I think we should go tomorrow." Yelena mumbled and you nodded into her shoulder.

"I'm not going to leave you though, you know that right? You can stay at mine and we'll watch more of those crappy American movies you like." She mocked lightly making you chuckle against her. "Whatever you want."

"I just want you." You said honestly. You knew you shouldn't have said that, but you were too emotionally drained to care.

"I just want you too, y/n." You pulled away from the blonde to look at her clearly.

"I don't think you know what I mean." You sniffer and she smiled at you fondly.

"I mean what I said earlier, around the fire." Your eyes widened slightly and you held your breath.

"It was all an act though." You whispered and Yelena chuckled as she exhaled sharply.

"No y/n." "I think I am inlove with you." She said as she took ahold of your hand and searched your face for any signs of a reaction to her confession.

"Me?" You questioned, not quite believing it.

"Yes you, idiot." You smiled and sighed in relief, not being able to find the words to express your overflowing happiness and numerous other emotions you couldn't quite pinpoint. You let go of Yelena's hand and brought them both up to cup her cheeks. You had done a lot more handholding than kissing in the previous few days. It needed to be evened out.

You closed the gap between you and kissed Yelena with just as much passion as you had in the lake, except all hesitation and questions were gone. Because you knew she loved you. Oh God she loved you. You grinned into the kiss at the thought and felt her hand fall to your hip while the other caressed the side of your neck in the most gentle manner you had ever seen from her. When you eventually pulled away you rested your forehead against hers, a smile still playing on both your lips.

"Told you we'd have to do that again." You said and and laughed. "I love you too."

"Well I hoped that wasn't a pity kiss." She joked and you smacked her arm playfully.

"It definetly was not and I'll prove it to you by taking you on a date when we get back." You promised as you sat back to look at her clearly.

"Oh yeah?" She asked with a playful smirk and leaned over so her face was inches away from yours.

"Yeah." You said back.

"Well until then, my real girlfriend should definetly just keep kissing me." She said as she pushed you down gently and kissed you again. You smiled against her gleefully.

"Your girlfriend would love to."

#yelena belova oneshot #yelena belova imagines #yelena belova imagine #yelena belova #mcu #marvel

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padfootastic · 2 years ago

Note

mme propenn pls be so kind and answer 3! 4! 8! and 32!(and how many of those are ao3 is the real question 💀)

3. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

this is the worst question ever bc i’m terrible with visual media like u can show me anything and i’d probably get bored within a few minutes. the only exceptions are when im in a theater (bc i’ve paid 💀) or when im w friends and have some external focus (also im a terrible person to watch anything w bc im constantly just making comments & shitty jokes hehehe)

but i guess if i had to choose 3, it would be—

- iron man (tony stark is love, tony stark is life)

- sound of music (<33333 so much nostalgia)

- help i’m so confused idk what to do uhhh magadheera bc ram charan is v v hot hehehehe

4. what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?

you’ve rly brought out the big guns huh bc i’m so confused about this lol

hmm i guess this one thing i do whenever i’m being sarcastic is put on this terrible valley girl accent where you stretch out all the consonants and act very coy and stuff. always, always gets a giggle out of everyone i talk to bc it’s so exaggerated.

ooh no wait there’s another one! so recently someone asked me something a bit personal about why i didn’t do something and i answered ‘mental health’. conversation closed. since then, we’ve made it this lil joke between ourselves where ‘mental health’ is the reason for anything we do, kind of like a cop out? (imp note: this is said in the same aforementioned accent, complete with a hair flip and wave of the hand)

8. any reacquiring dreams?

oof, yes. so many. but most i can’t remember. see, i’m a huge, huge dreamer. like i love sleeping and i can go for hooooooours at a time (my record is like,,,20 at a stretch. i’m v proud) and i always end up dreaming, even if it’s a quick power nap in class or a car lol

i think one i get very often is like,,,free falling? idk why but it always leaves me w a fun adrenaline rush & a weird leg spasm that always creeps others out lol. i also tend to lucid dream quite a bit (or atleast something resembling it?) so it’s a very choose-your-own-adventure sort of a thing.

also this isn’t…reacquiring exactly but i get very regular dreams about anything i’m currently obsessed with at the moment. and considering i get into (and out of) things v easily, it means i’m dreaming about weird shit like subway surfers or table tennis or a new cigarette quite often lol

32. how many tabs do you have open right now?

oh my god this is where i expose myself 💀💀 see, i’m sure it won’t come as a surprise to anyone who knows me but i’m an absolute tab hoarder/fiend. i hate closing them even if it’s the most basic google search in the world so stuff that actually has something of value? no chance until i’m physically forced to do it. like, this one time chrome fucked up and removed all my open tabs and i was so close to tears i cannot tell u.

but yeah, so. open tabs. i use both chrome & safari on my phone and my ipad so lemme just grab the number for you.

phone: 417, chrome. 215, safari.

ipad: 665, safari. 78, chrome.

so uh, that totals to 1375 which um. yeah. clearly i have a bit of a problem but it’s okay, everything’s okay, nothing to look at here, folks 😳

(now how many of these are ao3? god, a lot. but less than before bc i try to do these cold turkey quitting fanfiction situations where i close all the fic tabs and it’s never worked out but i always hold hope it will one day)

From this ask game

#okay but i rambled so much there #this answer is filled with useless info lmao #so sorry ash u know i can’t stop yapping once i begin #but yah. this was fun #pen’s asks #ask game

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blackbat05 · 3 years ago

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HTF 113 Spoilers:

Gonna do it part by part!

Gaeul and Dad (Fighting Chicken):

Yes Sir! Show them the true power of Samdak!

Honestly thinking back, I don’t know why I thought Logan Gracie was Samdak (probably because of the body)

The fact that in ep 50 that Logan still had to use a translation app with Hobin meant that there was something off in his assumed identity as Samdak! Unless if the videos Hobin was watching had subtitles.

And from experience, subtitles are a pain in the ass and with Logan’s backstory, I don’t think he had time to even sit in front of a computer?

Anyways I did not so much can be done with an umbrella sir.

That stupid foreign guy with a gun! I’m pretty sure if he didn’t have his gun he’ll be flat like a pancake in 0.01 seconds!

But I seriously hope both Gaeul and her dad are ok! *inserts prayer circle here*

I do believe (and hope) that Samdak will find a way out of this - seeing that he’s a god damn war veteran? *refer to Life completely ruined Chapter 30*

I’m a bit sad though, as much as the team is ok - did no one really take a second to even check if Gaeul was ok? Probably Hobin knew that she was safe with her dad but STILL!

Taehoon and Yeonwoo:

MY TWO BOYS!

All in one chapter, is everything I ever wanted!

Them looking out for each other!

‘You want me to tank knives?’

HAHAHA Yeonwoo be like, ‘We’re just starting to get along but we not there yet bro’

Taehoon trying to give Yeonwoo and Bomi a chance to escape?! Boi I know you are your father’s son but pls there is a limit😭 #seongsupermacy

Taehoon’s just really cool ok like this beautiful bastard really be showing them who’s boss

‘If you don’t come back for me you dead’ @ Yeonwoo😭😭

IS THIS SOME ROMANCE ANGST OR WHAT

Anyways that was so neat moving on

Gyeoul and Wangguk:

Sorry Thor-Loki move over for the best siblings

Of course in their first appearance I was like ???

But PTJ has such a knack in getting the audience to sympathize with the characters?

Their just really badass the fact Wangguk was the one that taught Gyeoul to fight and damn girl is not afraid to throw down with men who are twice her size.

The way Wangguk threw himself to protect his little sister😭😭😭

‘Are you not going to listen to your big brother?’😭 - I got to admit I always loved the protective older brother trope and sometimes I wonder how it’s like to have a brother like Wangguk.

But I’m appreciating the growth in Gyeoul and the way she looked out for Rumi!

Here’s the hoping that Wangguk finds a good time to tell Rumi how he feels? (Yes I’m rooting for this ok)

Ending part:

We were all wondering lol what about Snapper/Jihyeok - cuz dude is another liability, honestly more vulnerable than Gaeul

And then he rolls down with Mangi in that scooter😂

‘Can this thing go any faster?’ - Mangi bby this is a scooter not a Lamborghini😂

Taehoon: ‘You wanted me to get stabbed?’ No honey I’m glad your ok please don’t spout nonsense.

The gang (actually 244) is potentially targeting someone else?

Please don’t tell me is Samdak (I know it doesn’t make sense)

Who????

Ep 113 was lit y’all the gang is coming together! #hobincompanyforthewin

#how to fight webtoon #viral hit webtoon #viral hit #how to fight #yoo hobin #seong taehoon #ji yeonwoo #han wangguk #han gyeoul

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bruhlsbees · 4 years ago

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to the end - preview

summary: reader starts her first day at the paper and receives a big break

pairing: niki lauda x fem!reader

word count: 2,116

warnings: n/a

a/n: okay y'all i told you i would be writing something niki related after i finished watching rush and here it is! first chapter will be posted sometime this week - as always lemme know if you want to be on the taglist and if you have any other niki lauda writing ideas pls send them my way!!

You knew you should have taken your car into the shop before your first day on the job. The smoke from the engine was seeping out of the sides on the hood and you could smell the burning of whatever it was that was heating up. That’s what you get though for thinking a Ford Cortina was the best choice of car.

Thankfully you managed to pull into the lot before your car wheezed to death. Pushing your foot down on the break, you held your breath as your foot went down, down, down - the car not slowing. The breaks were shit, the engine was shit, what about your car wasn’t shit? Glancing over at the dashboard, sitting in the middle, was the hula dancer your friend gave you before you left to take the job. That, that wasn’t shit.

When your car finally came to a stop, you cut the engine and pulled your keys out, leaning back in the seat as you stared ahead of you at the building. It was an old car garage that had been turned into a paper company. The main waiting room was turned into the secretary and front room while the garage had been turned into the news room where the reporters worked. It was fitting for what the paper’s beat was.

Looking over towards the passenger seat, you reached into the box that had your belongings and pulled out the newspaper clipping of the job offer.

RACING STRIPES NEWSPAPER IS LOOKING FOR NEW REPORTERS TO COVER THE UPCOMING FORMULA RACE SEASON - NO EXPERIENCE REQUIRED

Not to boost your own ego, but you knew it wouldn’t be hard to get the job. With your four years of experience under your best and bachelor’s degree in Journalism, they’d be a fool to turn you away, especially if they were so desperate. You knew how to work in a room full of men, you’ve done it all your career so far - working in a room full of men eager to cover the next formula racing gossip, now that was the challenge.

If you were being honest with yourself, you weren’t too proud to be working for The Racing Stripes Co. They had a reputation of causing more trouble than they did good and hardly followed any journalistic ethics. You needed the money though, and getting in the middle of formula racing meant your name being shown. Maybe it was a little ridiculous, but as a woman - getting your name out there and showing men that you could do their job just as good, if not better, was what you aimed for.

So you found The Racing Stripes ad in the paper, gave them a call, got an interview, and hired on the spot. Today was your first day and you were going in guns blazing.

Opening the driver side door, you pushed the door open and grabbed your box of belongings before standing up, pulling your suede pants down a bit and shutting the door shut. Turning towards the building, you let out a deep breath before making your way across the lot and into the main waiting room.

The bell that was above the door rang when you pushed it open, smiling weakly as the older woman looked up from her desk, grinning towards you.

“Well, well, you must be the new reporter?” Standing up, she extended her hand out to shake. You quickly shuffled your box into your other hand, extending your right out to shake her’s, “I’m Regina, but please, call me Gina, all the boys around here do.”

Watching her step out from her desk, she pulled down her skirt a bit and tugged her sweater around her before looking you up and down, “Pants girl, huh? I would’ve taken you for the dress type.” She commented before walking towards the side door that led out to the garage.

Taken back, you opened your mouth and looked down at your own attire: loose flower blouse, suede pants, and dull heels. You thought you looked nice, maybe you were underdressed? When you looked up and realized she wasn’t there, you quickly rushed after her, catching the door before it shut in your face and into the garage, scanning the room at the desks that were lined up, voices talking over voices as some men screamed into the phone, scribbling notes down on loose leaf pieces of paper.

“Newcomer? Nah, we don’t know him. We only cover well-known faces - whoever this Lowdo person is, we don't know him, we ain’t coverin him...no I don’t wanna hear it, gimme a better name and then we’ll talk...fine, fine, I’ll see what the boss says, but don’t expect anything!”

When the phone slammed down and the man stood up, you tried to pull your attention away as Gina stopped at the empty desk, smiling towards you.

“Well, this is you. You’ll be across from David. He was the newest reporter before you,” She turned to David who was busy typing at his typewriter, not paying much attention to you as you sat your box of belongings down at the desk, “David, be good to her. It’s not everyday we get a lady around the journal.”

Before you could start getting your things out, you glanced over at Gina who seemed to linger. Raising an eyebrow, you felt her hands grab your arm, pulling you towards the back, “Before you get settled, I should probably let the boss know you’re here. He might have a story already lined up for you.”

You managed to snake your arm out of her grasp, trailing behind her as she went into the office first, the room filled heavily with smoke and the scent of cigars. Coughing, you waved the heavy smoke out of your face, shaking your head as you adjusted to the scent.

“Boss? It’s the new girl, she’s here.” Gina explained, stepping to the side to let you come in more. Standing beside Gina, your mouth twitched into a smile, looking ahead of you at your new boss - Hank Fezzold. He was a bigger gentleman, with a thick black mustache that drooped over his upper lip, his balding hair combed to one side, and a fat cigar hanging from his lips.

He seemed to take his time wrapping up with whatever it was he was doing. Finishing the cigar before crushing the rest of it into the ashtrap, clearing his throat and looking up at you and Gina.

“So, first day, huh?” You nodded and clasped your hands behind you, waiting for him to continue. He hummed in thought before looking at his desk, going through his papers, “Well, I imagine you know what the job entails? It’s not ethical, as I know you had mentioned in your interview, but it pays well and I think you can mind the code of ethics for a crisp bill, wouldn��t you say?”

You stifled a laughed and nodded, “I’m aware of the job, Mr. Fezzold - if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be here, would I?”

There was a moment of silence between the two of you, staring at one another before Gina finally stepped in, clearing her throat, “Well, Mr. Fezzold, if that’s all, I’m sure she’d like her story so she can get started, yes?”

Mr. Fezzold stared at you for a moment longer before finally nodding, “Yes, well, suppose you’re right, Gina. We are about to have our morning brief so you’ll get assigned a piece then, yes?”

You nodded once, mumbling a ‘yes sir’ before turning and heading out of the office, making your way back to your desk to get whatever you could out before the morning brief began.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

You weren’t sure what to expect exactly when the morning brief began. At your old job, things were relatively hectic, but at least there was order. The Racing Stripes lived up to their reputation - messy, unordered, and pure chaos.

Everyone was screaming over one another from their desks, holding up papers of notes that they had gathered to try and convince Mr. Fezzold why they should cover the story they came up with. You rubbed the bridge of your nose, groaning at how loud the room was, the walls of the garage echoing. Mr. Fezzold seemed to have enough as well, slamming his fist against the desk that he was seated at.

“Enough! Bloody Mary, with this eagerness just to get a story going, you’d think you’d already have it all covered! I don’t give a damn if it’s been covered already, just get the fucking content out and we will work from there. We don’t know a single thing about this season yet, so gather what we can get and we’ll decide from there.”

It was the man from earlier who raised his hand, the one that you overheard on the phone. When Mr. Fezzold nodded for him to speak, frustrated by his sudden politeness, the man stood up and cleared his throat.

“I got a call earlier today, Mr. Fezzold, someone going on about some newcomer from Austria, Niko Laudo? I think that’s his name...they think he’s going to be an important figure this season, want us to cover him. I told them that we don’t cover nobodies, Sir, but I said I’d let you know about it.”

The room erupted in laughs, thinking it was crazy for the man to even suggest it. You didn’t see what the big deal was - newcomers often had more stories than known ones since they’re new and still getting their story out. Nobody seemed to want to take the story, and you thought maybe - maybe, this could be your big break.

Standing up, you cleared your throat to gain everyone’s attention, although that didn’t seem to work. Everyone was still laughing and teasing the man who pitched the idea, saying that he should take it if he’s so obsessed with the man. You bit your tongue, hoping that maybe you’d get a brief second of silence to finally tell them that you would take it. But it never came.

Finally having enough, you sighed and took a deep breath, “HEY!” You yelled over the men, watching as they all fell in silence, mouths gaped at the sudden outburst that came from you. Sighing, you cleared your throat and adjusted your posture, standing up, “I’ll take it. In my experience, you get a fresh face and they’ll give you double the stories of what you’re already getting from a big shot. Whoever this Niko Laudo man is, I’m sure the guy is right, maybe he is going to make a name for himself.”

Mr. Fezzold leaned back in his chair, taking a long drag from his new cigar before exhaling the smoke from his nose. With the cigar in between his index and middle finger, he shook it at you, a smirk toying on his lips.

“You got guts kid, I’ll give you that. But you’re new to covering formula racing - that theory might work for the town paper that you used to work at, but here what people wanna read about is who they already know. You throw out a nobody and the paper might as well be just thrown in the trash.”

You could feel your lips curve into a frown, not sure what to say next. You wanted to prove that you could do it, but it seemed like Mr. Fezzold and the rest of The Racing Stripes Co. were stuck in their own ways. Until Mr. Fezzold surprised you and the rest of the reporters in the room.

“I tell you what. You wanna get your big break here? Fine, I’ll give this to you. Cover him throughout the season and if you’re right on him and your stories do well, I’ll think about keeping you around.”

You smiled weakly and nodded, thanking him before watching as he nodded back, standing up after crushing his cigar in the ashtray and clapping his hands.

“Okay ladies, come on! Season is starting and we got stories to cover. I don’t want to see anyone slacking or else you can kiss your jobs goodbye, you hear?”

Scrambling to get started, reporters began dialing numbers and attempting to set up interviews. They already were steps ahead of you since they were covering racers from the previous seasons. While they were getting interviews, you were only starting to figure out how to get in touch with this Niko Laudo person. As you searched through papers and notes that the man, who’s name you learned to be Ted, gave you - you realized quickly that maybe you were in over your head.

#to the end #niki lauda #niki lauda x reader #niki lauda x you #niki lauda imagine #niki lauda smut #rush #daniel brühl #daniel bruehl #daniel bruhl

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batarangsoundsdumb · 4 years ago

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yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

#i love all of you guys so much thanks for all these asks #some of these are literally from march but fuck it #the day tumblr puts dates next to anon messages is the day i close my inbox crawl into a hole and die #it's such a basic task to answer asks but i don't want to bother anyone with asks clogging up their timeline #and if i don't have a funny or good answer i'm like 'uhh okay won't answer it now then'#so this is for you #also i deleted a few asks because it gives me mental pain to see my inbox go over 50 and it's almost at 100 #i was complaining about having too many asks to the-real-peter-parker like months ago and then i had 45 asks in my inbox #now it's amassed to going over 100 twice #but no i love all of you and you're great and you're all fantastic and i lvoe you #muchos kiss kiss #kiss kiss for my kiddies lvoe you #invincible spoilers #dc #dcu #dc comics #ask #anon #bataranswers #i really wanna try aguapanela now i'm gonna see if i can find panela somewhere and review it for you babes #uh yeah that's it #muchos gracias for all your questions babes

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idle-compy · 4 years ago

Text

alright! here's some mostly incomprehensible thoughts I put down as I was watching

warning!! below consists of spoilers!!

SWIMSUITS

DARIUS AND BROOKLYNN PRANK TEAM YEAH

BROOKLYNN ASKING SAMMY IF SHE HAS A CRUSH ON YAZ AAAHHH

BLUE

KENJI DANCING AAAHAHA

BENJI FIGHT SORTA

E750 IS TERRIFYNG THE HECK

SAMMY NO

SAMMY IF YOU DIE I WILL RIOT

SAMMINA FLASHBACKS

YES BEN BLOW SOMETHING UP

"ben you beautiful, disturbed, beautiful boy"

KENJI PRETENDING TO BE A COW TO MAKE SAMMY FEEL BETTER

I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE

YAZ RUN ISTG

YOU CANT KEEP BREAKING YOUR ANKLE YAZ THAYS NOT HOW IT WORKS

NOW WOULD BE THE PERFECT TIME FOR AN EXPLOSION BOYS

HECK YEAH THERE IT IS

YEA KENJI BE THAT COW

YAZ YOU QUEEN GO SAVE YOUR GF

SAMMY NO AAHHHH

YEAAHHHH

DINOSTAR HUG YEAH

KISS KISS KISS

BEN STOP RUNNING OFF

DARIUS YOU CANT JUST RUN OFF TOO GUYS PLS

yaz that was rhe most unencouraging "you got this I believe in you" she's straining so hard

BEN HOLDING DARIUS UP FROM FALLING THE PARALLEL

BEN QUIT BEING DEPRESSING AND ANGSTY

pls they're all freaking out yaz quit trying to be encouraging and supportive

"you're kindness is killing us"

"I'm not leaving the island" BEN STOP

"I'm happy" "I'm more me on this island than ice ever been"

ben and darius quit fighting bumpy's upset

WAIT NO THIS FIGHT GOT PHYSICAL BOYS STOP

THE DIALOGUE IN THIS FIGHT IS SO FUNNY

BEN REALLY GOT READY TO PUNCH DARIUS SWETIE NO

"I'm not abandoning you again" darius I'm gonna cry

PLS THEIR ACTING LIKE A MARRIED COUPLE AROUND BUMPY PLS

BUMPY HAS A HERD

DINGUS MAKES A RETURN

BEN PULLING OUT THE I LOVE YOU LIKE HE DIDNT JUST TRY TO SOCK DARIUS IN THE FACE

TWO E750SSS????

KENNJ TURN THE BOAT AROND THEYRE ALIVEEE

YES DARIUS YOU ROCK THE CAPTAIN HAT

NO POOR BABY DINO

yeah kenji you do those dino sounds

BABY FOUND ITS MAMA

DARIUS GIVE THE GUN TO SAMMY

GOD THAT SCORPIOUS IS A NEVER ENDING JUMP SCARE JEEZ

YEAH BLUE ATTACK THE SCORPIOUS YOJ GO GIRL

BLUE AND DARIUS ARE FRIENDS YEAH

THEY KNOCKED DOWN A BUILDING

"you guys are my family" ben don't make me cry

don't say goodbye ben go with them GO WITH THEM

oh great I'm crying

KENJI NO TURN THE BOAT AROUND BEEENNN

MORE I LOVE YOUS AHH

HE CHANGED HIS MIND YEAH BEN GO BE WITH THEM

BOY CAN SWIM

HELICOPTERS

LADY THERE ARE ONLY 3 KIDS IN THAT HELICOPTER TURN AROUND THE HECK

MOSASAURUS

DR WU

GOD THE KIDS DIDNT EVEN KNOW THEY WERE OUT THERE FOR 6 MONTHS

LADY YOU CANT WRECK A HELICOPTER WITH 3 KIDS INSIDE THATS NOT HOW YOU RESCUE

sammy picking up ben like hes nothing omg

BROOKLYNN NO YOU CANT SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR A LAPTOP

hawks is the bad guy I see

the adults in this show enjoy hurting kids a little too much

BARYONYXS

yeah brooklynn threaten dr wu I believe in you

kenji has been an emotional disaster the whole season HE LOVES HIS FRIENDS SO MUCH

"suure what could go wrong except I don't know EVERYTHING"

brooklynn is absolutely DESTROYING this man

kenji stop KENJI STOP

Kenji going rogue to save brooklynn MY HEART

this is the SECOND TIME kenji and brooklynn have been chased by a big scary man

DUDES OUT HERE TRYIN TO KILL KIDS WITH A HELICOPTER SIR?? SIR???

KENJIS MAD MAD

NOT IT ENDING WITH KENJI AND DARIUS ON BAD TERMS

CLIFFHANGER NO

OK SO LIKE OVERALL THOUGHTS I WILL BE MENTALLY SCREAMING UNTIL THE END OF TIME

#ok so like #YEAH #that season was AMAZING #jurassic world camp cretaceous #camp cretaceous #jwcc spoilers #s3 #i didnt start on these till like episode 3 oops #my posts #camp cretaceous spoilers

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sour-n-salty-citrus · 3 years ago

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Do you have any hopes for the season finale? I saw in another ask, you described the dynamic between rick and morty this season as "very weak, distant, and downright frankly boring" and I completely agree with you! I hope that, because this is most we'll see rick and morty interacting this season, it'll have at least a few moments of what makes their dynamic so interesting to watch.

(Ok i started airing my grievances with this season, which ended up being... long, so skip this paragraph (starting at / / /) to get to my thoughts on the finale)

Oh gosh I remember that ask (I think-). And yeah, maybe I'm being a bit overly critical. I'll probably look back on this season with retrospect, and a kinder, fonder view. Ik androgynousblackbox (think thats right) made a great point about it being the season FOR rickorty shippers. And sure, I agree on some bits, like Rick acting all pissy and partying the way you would if your ex got with someone new in the planetina ep. Overall though, i think my problem lies in that I was enjoying more individual moments than episodes themselves, especially the middle three. For example- Amortycan Grickfitti. Like, I really liked the idea of the Ship getting on a crazy adventure with Summer and Morty (and Chutback). I like the idea of a Beth-Jerry-Rick adventure. But put together, it's just kinda... meh? You know? I liked the first half of the Thanksgiving special... but it kinda dragged on after that. I get that they want to give other characters (particularly female ones) more attention, which is completely understandable and i encourage it(!) but I can't help but find it underwhelming. Like, Summer in the voltron ep was like- girl how are you STILL vying for Rick's attention! He's the worst! Haven't we done this already? (I will say though I ADORE how far Beth has come, props to her for continuing to seeing through her dad's BS. I was worried the character would relapse into a more typical s1/s2 Beth, and I'm glad she didn't). Some of these plots, funnily enough, seem more fitting of the comics (they actually had a voltron parody already). Fun and entertaining for two or three-something issues, not so much a 22 minute episode. i think most of my complaints come from the dynamic between our titular characters- ok, I know I'm very biased (I mean you can see it), but I came to the show primarily for their relationship. It doesn't even feel drama-fueled, just that they kinda... can't be arsed. I'm torn because on the one hand, they're unhealthily codependent and this separation is probably a good thing, but on the other... it doesn't feel natural? I'm not sure if that's the right word- it's like, season 4 had them practically joint at the hip, but all that's suddenly flung out the window. It just kinda feels like this "i got better things to do" vibe from both of them and its strange. The only time they both got a solo adventure (I'm classifying "solo" as an adventure where they spent a significantly large portion of time together, without the other family members) was in the sperm ep and Thanksgiving ep. And, well, in the Thanksgiving ep Morty felt like a side character in his own show, and the sperm ep... um. Yeah. I don't think it's AS bad as people were saying, but I was cringing the whole time (the second hand embarrassment for Morty was so strong I had to turn off the episode multiple times and return to it. It's just like- godammit MORTY). And I think there's good reason those two seemed to be the most disliked episodes overall. They're the ones RaM spend the most time together and it's... meh. Meh? Meh. I don't mean to say the season overall is bad (it has loads of good points, and its amazing for Smith family as a whole) just that if we're talking specifically about the dynamic between these two? Yeah, I wouldn't recommend a single episode from this season so far to use as an example of their relationship.

/ / /

There's one thing this season has been pretty good at, though. And it's showing us what happens when Rick is alone.

And that brings me to the finale.

"Who is Rick without Morty?"

Well... we already know the answer to that. Pathetic. Sad. Lonely.

This season has been phenomenal in humbling Rick. (And trust me I'm happy for it- every time someone beats the crap outta this shitty old man I'm like YES!!! IT'S WHAT HE DESERVES!). Ep 1 had his "nemesis" clearly besting him, ep 2 had Beth making constant digs (love her) and overall pointing out his extreme callousness and cruelty towards even himself(ves). Ep 3- when Morty shows interest in a girl and ditches him (like seriously it's not like he's moving out, chill) he immediately goes on a bender and develops a deep attachment to the first person he can (wearing yellow, funnily enough). Ep 4, he devotes himself to becoming an "honest man" for his new child, only for it to instantly be taken away from him. Ep 5 highlights how RICK is the asshole for making fun of and taking advantage of someone well-meaning and honest, if "simple", and how literally not cool that is. Ep 6 has his crazy rivalry with the president, and they both get smacked down a couple pegs for that. Ep 7 shows what happens when he allows himself to get carried away, and that he can end up driving everyone else away in the process (lucky they still wanted to save his ass when he needed them). And episode 8? Hooooo boy. Episode. 8. We see a direct parallel in Birdperson with Morty, and the whole "Rick and [insert] 100 years!" Rick has few people he cares about, arguably only one or two that he truly devotes himself to, but when he does, boy does he go HARD. We see younger Rick, optimistic, energetic, friendly and hopeful. And we see all of that crushed in minutes. Rick is desperate for a companion, someone to see the stars with. He needs someone there, someone he can trust and rely on to stay. Someone like Morty. So without Morty, who is Rick?

No one.

And the thing is, Morty doesn't need Rick anymore. Not like Rick needs him. In season 1, Morty was this bright-eyed kid who was new to the cosmos and the multiverse, who needed his grandpa there with him as they explored all these places together. But that's not him anymore. That's not them.

The promo has Morty using the portal gun to go somewhere w/o Rick's permission (i like to think it's boob world lol). It doesn't matter to me as much where he's going, as much as he's doing it alone. He doesn't just not need Rick there, he doesn't want him.

(Also correct me if im wrong but I've missed that sweet portal gun so much. I think the last ep was like- the first time this season we saw it).

Morty's response to Rick? "Replace me!". And wow. Wow. WOW. Morty doesn't give a FUCK! I think Rick thinks that because he's so smart, that he can offer so much, that Morty will come crawling back, and I don't think he will.

Hopes for the finale! Hmm. I mean, I definitely hope "evil" Morty makes a reappearance, haha. I think we all do tbh ;). I want to see some Morty development too, this season has been very Rick-centric (not that there's anything wrong with that!) so I wanna see what's in store for Our Boy. I really hope we get to see the Citadel again, and see the state it's in, but I doubt it. We know something super big is in store, it's just a question of what? Other hopes I have is some Summer + Beth action (please let them team up Im BEGGING) and Jerry too ahaha. I'd love if some other side characters made an appearance as well. Oh- I'm definitely expecting a dramatic cliffhanger at the end of the first half leading to the second half, with the kind of angsty music that leads into the credits (pls that shit is so good (OH WAIT imagine if it was like, for the damaged coda, but like- the chopin version or smth so it could be more subtle maybe bruhhhh)). Ok haha, maybe that's asking too much, the writers made it clear in the story train ep that they weren't gonna do that big dramatic showdown (... unless 👀). Oh, I'd also love some Premium Angst too, like someone getting kidnapped/nearly dying (like ACTUALLY nearly dying). These stakes better be so damn high I could spear a man on them! OH, also I remember androgynousblackbox (is that right? I hope it is) mentioned something along the lines that they could be driving Rick and Morty apart this season in order to have them come back together stronger than ever in an explosive finale, which, I'm strongly hoping for myself.

Thanks if you made it this far! If you have any thoughts on or hopes of your own for the finale please feel free to share! :D

#ohmygod im sorry #i rambled way too long #akdjsksaksn #someone needs to take this phone away #also AGAIN im not shitting on s5 as a whole i actually quite like it #its just the RaM dynamic thats lacking #but again that could be intention so ig we'll see #RaM #rick and morty #meta #?#long post #citrus speaks #oh wait i should probably tag to be safe #rickorty mention

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