#yes lex that friend
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I dont like it when my friends are half the world away
Idontlikeitidontloleitidontlikeiidon
#personal#this has been brought to you by my friend and i exchanging goodbyes at 5:30 local time#i the 4 years ive known him ive never been more than 4 hrs ahead timewise#i dont like this in europe nonsense#yes lex THAT friend#that may just be a tag now
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@cathair-inmy-quesadilla
Imagine how heartbreaking it must be to suddenly stop talking to the person you thought you’d marry
#holy fuck this is beautiful#they just keep coming through my feed#the algorithm knows shit#kaz has a crush#yes lex that friend
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steph and babs don’t need personas, as far as anyone is concerned they’re just family friends.
bruce has his “brucie wayne” persona, very clumsy, playboy, kinda air headed but still very smart and wants to do good for gotham. which of course makes him seem naive cause good?? for gotham??
dick has “richie grayson-wayne” who’s dabbled in modeling before becoming a gymnastics teacher. also very vocal about his “adorable little siblings”
jason never really had a “nickname” after all he was from crime alley and he had to look GOOD for them or else they’d go back to “he’s just like the rest of them”. his persona was very empathetic and kind though, which worked great for him since that’s how he was like. he always talked about doing several non profit charities. the elites switched their opinions of him on a dime, although the rest of gotham adored him.
damian refuses to go by a nickname. his persona is based around animals, mostly about abandoned animals. it’s very clear his goal for the future is to make good animal shelters and help every animal he can. it’s the only persona he could stomach and there were SEVERAL other ideas
cass is “cass wayne” very quiet, polite, generally just there in the background. normally hanging around one of her siblings, most often tim. although her being around him unnerves some of them, she’ll get a look in her face and then her and tim both know they were lying. they fully get why she hangs around tim
duke is regularly seen as the normal one. pleasant to be around, kind, but generally also just there. very normal student, not really sure what he’s gonna do. the elites don’t particularly for him, though the rest of gotham love him.
tim’s persona differs from the rest pretty heavily. he can’t get away with being like bruce, the elites vividly remember janet and see her in him very often, which vaguely scares them if they’ll be honest. he’ll act like “Tim Drake-Wayne” to unsettle them, after all he’s a Drake why is he acting clumsy? they’ve seen him when he was younger and he was the spitting image of perfect. it makes more sense to them when he trips and lands right where he can tell them something no one else can hear. “Timothy Drake” is what scares them though. the tim that casually whispers secrets no one else knows, who points out someone they’re supposed to have a “private meeting with” in a week. who has nearly cause several of them to go broke with such simple actions, and the only reason they didn’t was cause he let them stay rich. there was one elite who insulted damian near tim and suddenly said elite had to get an apartment in crime alley, pay his now ex-wife, a kid he had with some random person, and several debts
the fact that lex luther and tim are some kind of friends also doesn’t make them feel super great but that’s another issue
#tim drake#bruce wayne#damian wayne#jason todd#cassandra cain#dick grayson#unhinged tim drake#chaotic tim drake#i am pushing the tim and lex being weird friends who aren’t really friends but they tolerate each other significantly more than you would#expect. gotta be on good terms with the in laws right?#tim starts walking over to someone and they scramble for a reason to leave and hide#dc stands for disregard canon#is tim fanonized in this? yes. am i gonna stop making him like that? no. and you can’t make me#lex: who are you trying to bankrupt now?#tim: that bitch right there. she insulted cass’s clothing who does that? ig she also called me a slur but who cares#lex is debating if he needs to get someone to take care of a dead body. mentally preparing for this to be thing to make tim go super villain
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im sleepy so i can't put my finger on the punch line exactly but there is a joke to be made about how fanon batman is actually just canon lex luthor. like think about it:
racist against metas and aliens
really controlling over who can associate with his daughter
not just rich but also famous and very recognizable in pop culture
obsessed with coming up with ways to take superman down, to the point of always carrying kryptonite
... and (probably) more!
#the difference is that at least luthor is acknowledged in the text as a villain for the shit he pulls 😭#and i mean to be fair batgirl 2000 also says bruce is in the wrong for trying to prevent cass from being friends with kon#but FANON bruce just gets called a hashtag girldad for that shit so. oops#(also yes im referring to lex's babysitter vetting process for lena sfjdgjd i did love this era for lex)#also i nearly put ''would be homophobic to kon specifically'' on this list but i didn't. please appreciate my restraint dfhdgjd#okay im losing coherence i must sleep. but i think this is funny. there's something here#rimi talks
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Prompt 82
Lex Luthor is admittedly, a very petty man. A very petty man who absolutely despises a certain kryptonian. So what if he made a clone- the alien got mind controlled practically every other week, could anyone blame him for being concerned?!
He’s more than a little annoyed that said clone was stolen from Cadmus, even though they had assured him repeatedly that they knew what they were doing. Trying to steal Gotham’s cryptid’s child was not a good idea- even he knew that! So of course they take the clone and the kryptonian discovers said clone and… rejects it. Huh. He should probably take advantage of that.
But he is a petty man.
If the alien is going to reject the child then he’ll just have to prove to be the better father. He’ll of course be the best father, if only to shove it in the other’s face. Really, how hard could it be?
#dcu#dc#prompts#petty dad au#Luthor: Ah yes I shall take advantage and prove that I am superior in parenting#Luthor: Obviously if I help make the clone sympathetic to humans that is advantageous#Alexander “Lex” Luthor: Oh you wish to be called Connor? Certainly we can put it on your birth certificate even#young justice#lex luthor#connor kent#kon el#superboy#superman#Tim who forced Batman to adopt him: Oh finally an adult that I can bitch about my bio parents about with#Tim: Bruce gets all weird and sad when I try to roast them like being left alone isn't that weird#Bart: No idea what's going on here I was dragged to this way too fancy penthouse for breakfast#Bart: But I'm not going to say no to free breakfast#Connor: I am not doing villain things- i'd have to fight my friends!#Connor: I won't say no to the cash and free stuff and being petty tho
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Smallville | 2.02 | "Heat" & | 7.20 | "Arctic"
#every now and then#I just mull over how tragic it is that all Clark wants is to be loved by people but he can never really be himself with them#Clark just wanted to be friends with Lex and he never wanted to ever hurt anyone#but he also wanted to be safe so he had to lie to everyone and Lex wouldn't stop invading his privacy so he had to lie even more#it's just#'Lex is my best friend' to 'I'm not [Lex's] enemy' just makes me insane#yes Lex was doomed by the narrative because he had to become the villain but Clark didn't deserve to lose that friendship#lex luthor#clark kent#smallville#gifs are mine#my post
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@cathair-inmy-quesadilla
God i keep thinking of him . And part of my brain’s like for what?? Why are you missing him?? But i will never truly understand my brain. She will do whatever she wants. I surrender. If i want to cry i will. If i want to throw a pity party for myself i will . And i’ll even make myself a nice dinner too.
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y'all have really got to stop undermining platonic relationships
#lex waffles#prompted by something i saw on twitter#yes friends can want to die for each other#like every fucking time y'all say friends can't do this or that when it's literally as something like going to the ends of the world for#each other to stay alive and to stay together i'm like do y'all really hate your friends that much?#that given the situation you wouldn't do the same?#please unlearn the internalised amatonormativity in yourselves before posting something stupid every time#every time i see the the phrase 'just friends' my aro ass is tired lol#i hate shipping culture so bad#and i'm a multishipper on a good day#but the way everyone talks about friendships makes me so annoyed#and it never gets better#i've said the same thing for years
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Bought new sword earrings and instantly had to wear them
Earrings are from Miek who is from Masters of Alchemy and who according to their business card are primarily DMs for hire.
I cannot find any online store or alternative business card for their shop so perhaps the accessories+dice are something they do on the side
#boblabla#lex has a face#also yes i lost a spike from my collar#but i thankfully found it a few hours later lmao#it fell under my friends table
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imagine if fugio & kart switched places that would b crazy absolutely insane
#i kinda miss bing super insane about fugio#i drew them @ school all the time its been SO LONGGG#i was so annoying about fugo that my friend thought he was a main character tk#like MAN I MISS THEMMM#also if u were 2 ask me#fugo would b a speedster & giorno would b the super#it makes sense u cant say im wrong#literlly dio 2 lex pipeline#do u hear me#clark 2 jonathan pipelline#do i h8 this ber of kons bg? yes. does it wwork rlly well 4 giorno? yes..#no bc NO BC O DONT H8 IT#let me clarify 2 myself#i find it super interesting but i h8 how its usually done or received#hope that makes snese 2 me…..#i need 2 shut UPPO
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The urge to absolutely rave about Smallville’s Clark and Lois is so incredibly strong even here. Even when I haven’t been on/posting on this site pretty much at all.
#pre superman Clark is yes#and don’t get me wrong there is plenty I don’t care for with small ills#smallville#ahem#but Clark and Lois are just 👌#I never cared for Superman lore before this#now I wanna watch some other stuff#Clark Kent#lois lane#Erica’s lois is peak#she is funny and amazing and I love her#lex being Clark’s friend for years is just wowwww#and the changes Clark goes through to become Superman is soooo 👌#I may or may not come around to rave about them Ngl
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as a huge batjokes shipper i want batman and joker to hate each other in the sense they dont really hate each other, they just have really different goals and see their own version of potential in the other and right now hate is the best word for their situationship. they both love the other for what they could be but neither of them wants to be what the other one wants, and that's equally as frustrating as it is necessary for them to keep existing in their current roles. they're deadlocked and that fate surrounding each other is kind of the point -- we both have to be like this, the opposite of what the other wants, for us to keep existing at all, and for giving me that gift i both love and hate you. it's an agreement. i think the hate that's there now is born from an intense underlying love.
i think batman "hates" joker for being so amazing and smart and cunning, for being able to create grand gestures and schemes, to pull people together under his charisma and make them all believe in something, for being as extraordinary as he is but batman hates that he uses it to hurt people. he hates that joker can't channel his energy into doing something good for the world, that he hurts himself and others just because he wants to be batman's greatest enemy. i think batman wants to help joker but also hates him at this point for joker exhausting him, constantly getting hurt both emotionally and physically by him, joker never trying to improve his situation, throwing away other people's lives, showing batman he loves him by lashing out and hurting him. batman hates joker because he loves his rogues, he wants to help them, and he knows they can do better. he wants to live in a gotham that doesn't need batman but he still needs to be needed, because when there's no batman, what is bruce going to be? without joker, he will continue being batman, but it's an empty crusade. some of my favorite interactions between harvey and bruce are the ones where harvey thanks bruce for "always being there for me, never giving up on me, my very best friend." even with someone like harvey, bruce can still hold onto that hope for his rogues, never give up on them, keep going for them, even if it puts them through the cycle one more time.
i think joker hates batman in the most toxic way possible, but it's still love. i just think he's selfish and doesn't want batman to think about anyone else but him, the same way he operates for batman, but if he must think about other people then joker will make it as amazing as possible! i think he hates batman for wasting his time on ordinary people, people who are so boring that batman claims he has to protect and serve and love them but joker thinks it's all surface-level. batman won't kill joker but he'll leave room for people dying in his crusade. it's a choice he allows, and even if joker knows that's a morally fucked up way to put someone in a box, he doesn't care. batman is the type of person to train himself mentally and physically for decades and dress up in a half-silly-half-menacing costume so that everyone can have an idea about him. batman himself is not normal, and joker knows that and loves that! why is he wasting his time trying to save people that use him, abuse him, don't want him to be the best he can be? i think joker's motivations for loving batman and lashing out as if he hates him lie somewhere in between extreme admiration -- like i truly believe in your cause and that you're the right person to do it, but i'm so angry at you for wasting your time on other people and i'm so hurt and jealous that you choose them over me, just so you can be a hypocrite and let them die if i want them to anyways -- and anger at his hypocrisy -- like it's easy for joker to dedicate himself to chaos and just being in batman's life by putting batman in situations that force him to be a better and better hero, but how can batman sit there and choose and pick what morals he'll uphold and who gets to live and who gets to die?
i want to be your greatest enemy because you are the greatest hero ever, and the only way you and i can keep being the best at what we do is if we do it together, because of what we both believe in.
#does this make sense. they love each other because theyre perfect for each other#but in order to create that perfection they have to do things that build resentment#and in order to ebb that resentment they have to be in constant flux. back and forth. ebb and flow. good and evil. chaos and order.#obsession and indifference.... the two themes i think we miss out on the most bc it hurts when indifference is the opposite of love#and obviously these two cannot be indifferent toward the otther#but when they have plots that do they really fucking hurt!#like when lex luthor comes into the picture and helps joker and joker starts to make batman a little jealous#like okay maybe i dont need you to obsess over maybe any strong ideals can overtake me if u lnow what i mean#and then suddenly batmans gotta prove how well he knows joker and has to be on top of him at all times#um anyways i hope these kind of! made sense!!!!!!!!! djhdkjghijsdfhksdfh#like ideally i think joker just wishes he had batman all to himself but knows he has to share#and hes such a jealous baby that he makes it hard for batman bc of it#and batman is like yes joker jesus fucking christ i love you too but you have to let me have friends#and u have to stop killing people#and jokers like why are you friends with murderers and liars and thieves but IM BAD?#and batmans like bc i actually love everyone and want to help you all and that includes u#and jokers like jo fuck you hypocrtie hahaha see at least in my loneliness i have no laurels to rest on#and bruce is like i may struggle with my morals often but that is only because im always figuring out the best way to keep helping everyone#and if i lose sight of that ill go blind and be like you and then u wont have me anymore#lol sometimes funny tag convos get the dynamic better than the meaty posts#long post#anyways sorry i just havee 2937973957273 thoughts about them and so does everyone and i wanna throw my hat in
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man i need to actually start talking to some of the gay + trans folks in my area
#I've seen some pretty cool & friendly people but im so exhausted most of the time </3#I'd really love to have new people to hang out with and talk to#having a little friend group brings me so much joy#especially if it's all people that i trust and just really enjoy being around#hearing from and spending time with my friends is like the highlight of my day#and it's always nice to have more people to love#thats part of why i still use lex... it's not bad when it comes to just chatting with people#absolute garbage for hookups. but just trying to talk to people? its great#and pretty chill#and even if I don't talk as much as I'd like to bcuz of burnout + chronic illness flareups it still warms my heart to see the same ppl-#-interacting with me#like. ah yes i remember u. its good to see u again#and people are usually so sweet and helpful#esp if its people you already know are kind and compassionate people. warms my heart to have support no matter how subtle#getting to interact with my local community has been really healing#its good to have a reminder that there's still lgbt ppl who actually care about each other and want solidarity#and are vocal about their support#including for the people who need it most. it just makes me all that much more proud to be a trans lesbian#with every lgbt person i meet even if we don't wind up being like long-term friends or anything-#-i usually remember all of these folks fondly#don't doubt the impact of your presence even to someone you barely know#a lot of people will remember and care about you even if its in a distant kinda way#being perceived and existing in the minds and lives of other people doesn't have to be a scary thing
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Nanny Danny
“That is a whole ass baby,” was the only thought running through Lex Luthor’s head when the scientist proudly showed him the tube containing Project KR. It was not remotely the sort of thing he would normally think and most definitely not what he had expected to be thinking the first time he saw the clone.
He’d been pleased when he’d read the reports indicating the success of KR after years of failures. Lex had poured millions of dollars and literally his own blood into ensuring a clone of the alien could be made, one that would be under his total control instead of the unknown aspirations of Superman. He’d wanted to see the fruits of his labors personally but this…
It. No, not an it. He scrunched his tiny face and smacked his lips and…did he smirk? Was that HIS SMIRK on that baby’s face?! No. No. Babies this small didn’t smile or smirk. They passed gas and their sleep deprived and addled parents mistook it for an intelligent response. He’d heard enough inane conversations in the Lexcorp office about the various progeny of his employees to pick up on that but still. This child had Kryptonian DNA, not to mention his own contribution. Surely, he was far more advanced than the dribbling potato shaped lump of an infant whose pictures he’d been forced to smile and nod over when Mark from accounting had rudely shoved them in his face at the last quarterly budget meeting. Yes, that was definitely a smirk. His, that was his smirk.
“So as you can see its growth is well within expected parameters and we’re planning to start phase one of accelerating the maturation process tomorrow once the testing is do-”
“Take him out.”
“Sir? The testing can all be accomplished while it remains in the tube. There’s no need to-”
“I said, take him out. The project is cancelled.”
“What?! Mr. Luthor you can’t!”
“I think you’ll find I can. Now get me my son.”
*****
Two years later
“Call them again”
“Sir, I’ve called them seven times. They won’t answer.”
“Then call another agency!”
“There isn’t another agency, Sir”
Lex glared at his assistant who stared back at him impassively. Mercy stood by the door staring off into the distance and pretending she didn’t notice him being bested by his own secretary.
He stopped himself from shouting again and took a deep breath before asking, “Then what, exactly, do you propose I do Mrs. Anderson? Adjust my entire schedule around naptimes? Find a toddler size lab coat and safety goggles and bring my son with me to tour the new clean energy project on Thursday? Perhaps buy a tiny business suit while I’m at it for the next board meeting?”
“I’m not suggesting anything of the sort, Mr. Luthor. I’m telling you that no childcare agency in Metropolis will return my calls anymore. Most won’t even answer. You’ve gone through 27 nannies in the last 3 months. You need someone better suited to your son’s…special needs.”
Lex snorted. “Special needs might be a bit of understatement. He can lift a car over his head and his favorite word right now is No.”
He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Thank you for…clarifying the situation, Marjorie. If there’s nothing else, you can leave.”
His secretary didn’t move. She looked at him like she was waiting for something and now that he was paying attention, he saw she was holding a file. “Did you have a suggestion?”
Looking pleased with herself she responded, “Actually, yes, I did.”
“Well?”
She set the file on his desk and flipped it open. He looked down at the first page and raised an eyebrow, “What am I looking at here?”
“This,” she responded pulling out the top set of papers and spreading them out, “is the employee file and background check for Daniel J. Fenton, an intern that started in our engineering department about 4 months ago. He has one sibling, two parents and several close friends he regularly meets with. His current supervisor has nothing but good things to say about him and reports he gets along well with all his coworkers.”
She set out the next set of papers, neatly arranging them on the desk to be easily seen. “These are newspaper articles and screenshots of social media posts regarding a small town vigilante locally known as Phantom. The same small town, Mr. Fenton is from coincidentally. Also coincidentally, Phantom made his first appearance only a few weeks after Mr. Fenton was involved in a minor accident in his parent’s home laboratory when he was 14, the medical records for the incident are included.”
“Hmm,” Lex said observing several photos of Phantom and a younger Fenton arranged in order of similar poses and facial expressions and printed out side by side.
“Finally,” she said handing him the last set of papers directly, “this would be a report from the lab Mr. Fenton works in from an incident that happened yesterday. A test with a new protype went wrong and started a fire. Everyone evacuated per protocol when the alarms went off but one of the other interns was working on a programming issue off to the side of the lab while wearing headphones and didn’t hear the alarm or notice the fire. Mr. Fenton noticed his absence and returned to the lab to get him out.” She stopped talking and let him look at the last several pages in the file, a series of photographs of the lab.
“Is this ice?”
“Yes, it is. It’s several inches thick and covers half of the lab. It completely put out the fire leaving minimal damage.”
“This machine was moved?”
“It was. It was very close to the flames and would have required replacement if exposed to extreme heat or cold. That particular piece of equipment also weighs several thousand pounds and was bolted to the floor.”
Lex read through everything in detail then clasped his hands under his chin and stared at the photo of Daniel Fenton for several moments before turning back to his waiting secretary.
“Have HR send Mr. Fenton up. I’d like to offer him a promotion.”
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#dpxdc#Lex Luthor saw baby Kon and said that's my baby#Good Dad Lex Luthor#He mostly stopped with the evil to be a good dad#He still does some villainous things sometimes#as a treat#it's enrichment in his enclosure#danny gets hired as a nanny#because Lex can't keep up with a super powered toddler#nanny danny au
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I think we all headcanon Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen going to boarding school together but what if Lex Luthor went there as well…and they were friends. Like bestfriends. The kind of friend you talk to even after you graduate.
The JL undercover at one of lex’s galas to get some info on an evil plan he’s been cooking up:
Clark: can somebody cause a distraction while I go get the files?
Bruce:…..Oliver?
Oliver: no
Bruce: please?
Oliver: *sigh* fine.
Bruce: yes!!
Clark:…what’s happening?
Bruce with Ollie walking up to lex: if it isn’t my favorite ginger!!
Oliver: you can’t say that Bruce. He’s not a ginger anymore, he’s bald.
Lex visibly done with their bs: at least I assume it. What are you whores up to nowadays, adopting 10 kids per week?
Oliver pointing at Bruce: that’s him, not me.
Bruce: at least I don’t make one, on purpose might I add, and then proceed to ignore his existence.
Lex: you got me there Brucie. But I still can’t believe only one of your kids is biologically yours considering how big of a slut you are.
Bruce: it’s not that bad.
Oliver: you literally slept with Superman.
Lex who did not know that:…you slept with Superman…and didn’t invite me!?
Bruce: what
Oliver: what
Clark over comms: what
#Lex is kinda weird#justice league#batman#superman#bruce wayne#clark kent#dc universe#green arrow#oliver queen#boarding school#best friends#besties#batkids#superbat#connor kent
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fic i'm working on just crossed the 5k mark, which means when I finish it it'll be the longest thing I've written since, like, February which is actually bonkers can you believe???
#yes i did scroll back on my own ao3 to check lmao#and even then wtdwyaf took me like four years or so to write so that was very different#anyways it's still a one shot it's just ... a lot longer than i usually write and you know what it definitely deserves it#sorry for the post btw hannah and lex are both asleep and i had to tell Someone so i'm coming here to my beloved blog#i'm excited for this one even though its for a rarepair that no one reads i hope it turns out good lmao#i mean .... it's For Me to be real me and my two friends who read my fics fgdskhf#jess rants about life
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