#yes i would fake date to get a discount

[bbnibini]

Random Cocytus Hall Headcanons

Mornings start late. Breakfast is lunch, lunch is dinner and dinner are some random snacks in the middle of the night–small and bite-sized, especially made for one particular sorcerer who has a tendency to forget his meals once he’s deep in his research.

Solomon gained a habit of eating anything that’s put in front of him, your pen? Gone. MC? Why is the steak crunchy? Man’s literally pavloved to do this because he wouldn’t eat otherwise. (Thanks, OG!Timeline, Simeon.)

Your weekends are spent scouring for magical items that will be considered rare in the original timeline/future. An "investment" if you will.

“Would you still love me if I was a worm?” “Am I also a worm, MC?” “No????” “Can I be one too? 🥺👉👈” (He doesn’t want you to be alone)

“Pretending” to be a couple to get couple’s discounts in everything. Purposely making a scene in public for clout. (Fake proposals, wholesome pranks and polite catcalling). You both like the chaos. Responsibly (because Barbatos is watching). Sometimes, Asmo joins in too!

Every day is a marathon to outrun Solomon to the kitchen. It’s rather unfortunate that most of the time when it’s his turn to do the cooking, something goes wrong and you have to eat out. Not like he minds (a date is a date<3).

This is you everytime you try to wake Solomon in the morning. (He’s a notorious night owl and also a light sleeper, so he made some precautions to get a good rest by casting several layers of sound blocking spells that activate once his brain waves fall into a specific frequency range. And yes. You have to disarm them One.By.One. Every.Morning.) As much as you want him to sleep longer, unfortunately, RAD doesn’t have night class. :’( (What is even “night” in Devildom if it’s always dark? Don’t mind me having an existential crisis over a fictional realm lmao)

Solomon isn’t the type of person who voices out his grievances. He’s the type who endures and always tries to act “maturely”, especially in situations he considers unfair. (Please protect this man. He doesn’t know a thing about receiving compassion nor affection. It’s a very touchy subject to him; he would rather give and get nothing in return. Because that's what always happens. Kindness makes him vulnerable and being vulnerable scares him. )Why would he make his dearest apprentice worry? You are a person meant to be loved(unlike him), and he is painfully aware how he would have to share your attention with everyone else. What you might not know is how much he beats himself up over feeling “petty emotions”. Jealousy? Loneliness? A few swigs of liquid courage would make him forget, even just for the night. He is Solomon the Wise, not Solomon the Fool.

Is the type who answers you in person every time you try to text him in Decommunication:

You Hey, do we still have some bread? seen 1 hour ago

Then when you got tired waiting for him to text back he just: *Teleports behind you* “I bought some now! Did we forget anything else?”“SOLOMON I AM LITERALLY IN THE BATHROOM RIGHT NOW! HOW DID YOU GET HERE? WHY CAN’T YOU ANSWER MY TEXTS LIKE A NORMAL PERSON?!”“But…what about the bread? :( I got it for you.” "GET. OUT." "Do you need toilet pap-" "GET OUT!!!"

Contrary to Solomon’s defeatist beliefs, you crave his presence as much as he does. The little traces of him in Cocytus hall that lingers there even in his absence brings you so much comfort and reassurance. He is the first person you turn to in difficult times. “If Solomon is here, everything will be okay.” is a mantra you like muttering to yourself when you are especially troubled. Perhaps if a certain, depressed and inebriated soul would come to hear it, his own heart’s worries would finally be silenced.

WE GET IT! YOU’RE MARRIED!!  <; —----- everyone when you talk about each other

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Happy NB Remix Release! Take this late tribute (AO3 mirror)

[joanquill]

"Hey, wanna take advantage of the couple's discount today?" + "Wanna go fake-propose at every restaurant we can find to get free dessert?"

William and Little Sister Holmes Fluff Romantic Prompts 6 & 7 (and could you also make it so that during all of this, little sister holmes is trying to get info on the lord of crimes a.k.a. william)

William James Moriarty

A/N: The reader is Sherlock and Mycroft's younger sister. Tag/s: Holmes!Fem!Reader, Fluff

You sighed for the nth time of the day, kicking a small pebble as you walked along the street.

You glanced over to the shops and saw your reflection on one's display and the reflections of Mycroft's men, whom he graciously gave you as your bodyguards after seeing your suitors who visited you this Valentine's Day.

What surprised you was Sherlock agreeing with Mycroft.

You clicked your tongue as you kicked the pebble stronger, making it skip a few feet away.

You looked around the streets for an escape, hoping to avoid the eyes of your elder brothers until...

'Huh?' you questioned as you spotted a familiar blond with scarlet eyes entering a stationery store.

'William James Moriarty?' you recognized, seeing him look intently at the different kinds of pen and paper.

You gasped and smiled to yourself as a plan formulated in your mind, an opportunity to mess with your brothers.

And now, seeing the growing crowd coming out of the department store nearby, you have found your chance.

You swiftly crossed the street, hastening your pace as you merged with the crowd.

You snickered as you saw your guards stumble and get pushed back, frantically looking around for you.

You triumphly hummed to yourself as you walked over to William, tapping his shoulder.

"Lord Moriarty," you politely greeted, "It's been a while," you smiled at his surprised expression, slowly turning into a smile.

"Miss Holmes," he took off his top hat with a smile, "It truly has been ages," he added, making you smile.

"What brings you here?"

"Just felt like it," you shrugged, a mischievous smile still on your face, " Say... You don't happen to be courting anybody, do you?"

William raised his brow with a smile.

"Quite direct. Aren't we, my lady?"

"Just making sure no one would be upset or get hurt with my proposition for you," you grinned, making William smirk.

"And that would be...?"

"Be my Valentine's date?"

.

.

.

William blinked twice at your question, making you laugh.

"I beg your pardon?" William asked as you continued to laugh.

"For pretend, of course," you reassured, still chuckling, "My brothers have been really annoying with giving me bodyguards after seeing my suitors, so I want to teach them a lesson," you explained, making him lightly laugh.

"And so you want me to pretend to be one of them?"

"A fake proposal also wouldn't hurt," you shrugged, "Besides, I heard there's been quite the sale for couples this Valentine's Day," you coerced, making him chuckle.

'And with his title and how much Sherlock praises his intelligence, maybe he has some ideas on the lord of crime,' you thought, looking at William.

"...I don't see why not," William answered, making you beam.

"So you agree?" William nodded in response, making you internally cheer.

"Yes. It might be quite interesting," William answered, a dangerous gleam shining in his eyes as he gave you his hand.

You felt a shiver run down your spine, making you scoff.

'Ahh... Now I see...' you grinned, taking his hand and giving it a firm shake.

"Then, it's a deal. Lord Moriarty,"

[polonium-snap]

Bkdk plot bunnies pt. 4

- Katsuki is a great fucking adult, the best even

- he does his taxes, hell he even does the whole Bakusquad’s because he doesn’t “want them to go to fucking jail for tax evasion”

- So imagine his surprise when in the mail he receives a letter from the tax agency because he overpaid his taxes

- Now of course it’s a matter of pride, Katsuki goes over his calculations again, sure he made no mistake

- He calls the tax agency to asure them he NEVER makes mistakes

- “Oh yes, I see here you got married a year ago congratulations! That means you get a tax discount, that’s why it appears you overpaid this year sir.” Says the costumer service agent

- “I’m not married! You guys fucked up.” Katsuki says vindicated in that he didn’t make any mistakes.

- “Your name is Katsuki Bakugou, right? I can see here your marriage certificate, and you indeed got married about a year ago”

- “I think I’d remember if I had a fucking wedding” katsuki said starting to get angry

- “…Sir, I can see in public records that on 17/07/XXXX you married Midoriya Izuku now Bakugou Izuku, if you had a divorce maybe it hasn’t gon-“

- “D-did you just say Midoriya Izuku?” Katsuki stuttered

- “…yes…?”

- Katsuki hangs up.

- He pulls up public records himself and sure enough there is his marriage certificate where Izuku took his last name (bc in Japan you can only keep one surname per couple)

- “Motherfucker.” Of course bullshit like this follows Katsuki when Deku is concerned.

- He runs to Izuku’s apartment taking it a step further and going through his mail

- “Bakugou Izuku, Bakugou Izuku, this fucking idiot…” Katsuki muses as he flips through the mail.

- “Dekuuuu!!!” Katsuki pounds on the apartment’s door roughly.

- “I’m coming, I’m coming!” Izuku’s voice is heard from inside. “Kacchan w-“

- “Apparently a year ago we got fucking married” Katsuki shows the marriage certificate on his phone to Deku

- “What?!”

- Katsuki explained everything. “…and just now I looked through your mail and it’s all addressed to Bakugou Izuku, how the fuck did you miss that for over a year?!”

- “Oh my god, so we’re legally married?!”

- “Somehow!!”

- “W-when did this even happen?!”

- They look at the date and try to figure out if someone forged their signatures

- They remember that day a big sting operation in Yumeshima island (the Vegas of Japan according to google lol) had just ended and a few of their friends were there, they had just missed Izuku’s 20th birthday because of the operation so they decided to celebrate there

- And everyone got really really drunk, both Izuku and Katsuki themselves blacked out

- “So we got married then?” Izuku asks

- “It appears so.” Katsuki said

- “How did we not know until now? I mean at least one of our friends has to have remembered.”

- Katsuki got angry “if one of those fuckers hid it from us I’m going to explode them.”

- They call Uraraka first; “Sorry Deku-kun! I can’t remember anything from that night either.” She apologized

- Then Kirishima; “What? Those weddings aren’t fake?! They had Michael Jackson officiating, that can’t be legal!!!”

- Todoroki; “Wait, so you guys aren’t together? I thought you just decided to get married, that’s why I bought you that blender you wanted Bakugou.”

- Shinsou; “oh yeah, I just thought it was the funniest shit ever. I even kept the original certificate.”

- “So you’ve been sitting on this for a year?!” Deku said.

- “Yeah,” Shinso confirmed. “I mean, I didn’t think you would take this long to realize, Midoriya, or should I say Bakugou?”

- “IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!!!” Katsuki bellowed at the phone.

- “Come on Bakugou, let’s not fight, I wouldn’t want to leave Izuku a widow”

- “MOTHERFU-“

- “Besides, just get a divorce, you haven’t been married long so you won’t have to legally separate your things or anything” as much things new heroes two years out of high school could have

- They decide to sort the legal shit on their next day off

- Or they would have if the news didn’t leak to the press just a day later

- ‘Pro hero Deku and Pro hero Dynamight MARRIED FOR OVER A YEAR?!’

- The PR of the agency begs them to stay married until it blows over

- “Izuku baby, why didn’t you tell me you got married to Katsuki-kun! You didn’t even invite me to your wedding!” Inko cries as Deku tries to console her

- “You fucking brat, you didn’t have the fucking decency to invite your own mother to your wedding to Izuku-kun, do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this?!”

- “Fuck you hag, this is exactly why I didn’t fucking invite you!” Katsuki replies

- The media starts getting suspicious because they don’t live together and don’t do PDA

- In an interview Bakugou panics and says they live apart because they are saving up for a house which everyone thinks is so cute

- PR makes them do a little PDA

- So slowly they settle into a relationship and just never divorce

-later, two years or so after they have a proper wedding and live happily ever after

Pt 1| pt 2 | pt 2.5| pt 3| pt 5 | pt 6 |

[calciseptinefic]

a luxury few can afford

Marvel || Wade Wilson/Peter Parker || Part 1 notes: i cannot believe this is what gets me back on tumblr. jfc. this fic is also available on ao3 warnings: discussion of blowjobs?

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Peter has exhausted his resources.

Correction: he has exhausted most of his resources. Which are... limited to begin with, as he is a broke college student slash vigilante slash part-time photographer running on little more than fumes and cheap pizza slices. He could maybe find another solution to his problem given more time, energy, and money, but he has none of those things. Zero. Zippo. Nada. And the man he's been tracking—some mid-level goon working for Kingpin—is going to leave the country in less than three days. If Peter doesn't want to waste several months of stake-outs and information gathering, then he needs to resort to his last resort:

Asking a favor of Wade 'Merc with a Mouth' Wilson.

"Sounds like I'm gonna get shot at," Wade says contemplatively around a mouthful of masticated Mexican mush. As is usual, they're sitting on the ledge of a building, feet dangling a dozen stories above a dimly lit alley. "And I charge extra for being shot at. I mean, it's not like being shot at is gonna do anything except temporarily make me look even more like swiss cheese, but..." He takes another massive bite of his food, finishing it. "It's the principle of the thing."

"And what's the going rate for swiss cheese?" Peter asks as casually as possible.

Wade names a price with a few more zeroes on it than Peter can afford.

"Ah," Peter says.

"But for you, baby boy, I can give a discount!"

Peter has a feeling that even a discount would still be wildly outside his budget.

"Let's pretend I don't have any money," Peter says instead of asking, picking at the tinfoil keeping his burrito warm. His late dinner (early breakfast?) is starting to look a little sad, the congealed cheese greasy and the shredded lettuce limp. "Let's pretend the food truck took the last of my already meager paycheck, and that the only thing I have to offer is a favor."

"Ah, the favor," says Wade wisely. "Ye ol' tit for tat. The mutual scratching of mutual backs. The amorphous, ambiguous assumption that sometime in the unknown future, I will need you to do something for me that I am unable to do for myself, for whatever contrived reason the author thinks of."

"Umm, yes?"

"Umm, let me think about this." Wade bunches up the leftover mess of tinfoil and parchment paper from his own meal and tosses it over the side of the building. Amazingly, a few seconds later, there's a soft plink as the ball makes it into an open dumpster. "And my answer is... no."

"Why not?" asks Peter, voice rising.

"Because there's not a whole lot you can do that I can't." Wade shrugs.

"That's not true!" Peter protests.

"It isn't?" The smile Wade gives him is wry, an unexpected flash of straight white teeth against angry, pockmarked skin. "I can't think of much that would require your superhero spidery-ness that I cannot accomplish with a) my distinct lack of morality and b) my god-tier ninja skills. Oh, and c) this pesky inability to die. That's super duper helpful, in the right contexts."

Peter exhales slowly. Usually, he and Wade get along annoyingly well, but sometimes, Wade just annoys. So he tries again, attempting to keep his tone level as he says, reasonably, "Well, maybe there isn't anything you can think of now, at this particular moment—"

Wade interrupts him with a shake of his head. "I'm going to stop you right there, baby boy. This fic is only five k and it ain't tagged for fake dating shenanigans, so... No. I don't think that temporality is the name of the game here."

"It will be two hours of your time," Peter says.

"Ooo, a new angle!" Wade crows. "Still temporal, but okay. Lay it on me."

"Two hours, Deadpool. I need to put this guy away. Now. He's leaving for Germany soon to arrange another shipment, and the new drugs they're flooding our community with have already killed 17 people."

"Firstly, 'our community'? Really? Going for the empathetic, inclusionist vibe?" Then, without pause, Wade points out, "Fisk's men aren't the only bastards dealing. Not exactly going to solve the problem."

"No, it won't," Peter admits. "But I can't keep webbing up random dealers, because it doesn't do anything, because someone else from Kingpin's gang just replaces him. And Kingpin's operation is the biggest provider. If I can get this last bit of proof, then I can hand it over to Matt and get the actual operation shut down. Legally. The supply will be choked. Sure, some random dealers will get the trickle down from the outside, but those guys I can web up."

Wade is quiet. Peter hopes, for a moment, that Wade will sigh, say 'fuck it', and do what Peter wants in exchange for that favor he mocked. Instead, Wade says,

"Still a no, baby boy."

Peter's low-simmering irritation flares into real anger. He knows Wade isn't altruistic and that there are plenty of good reasons he has a darker view of the world. Most of the time, it doesn't bother Peter; in the years he's been Spiderman, he's grown more pragmatic, and he understands the worlds in deeper shades of gray than some of his other superhero counterparts. It's one of the reasons why he gets along with Wade when most people don't.

Right now, however, Wade's apathy for something Peter's struggling with feels like a betrayal. It stings. Deeply. Peter had been trepid about asking Wade because Wade is a wild card with a fondness for explosions and mayhem, but he had been so sure that Wade would say yes. He thought that their friendship—as odd as it was—was beginning to feel like... like... like something else. Like something more. Something that would make Wade sling an arm around Peter's shoulders and say, Okay, baby boy. Anything for you.

But Wade said no. Such sharp, sudden hurt—this needling reminder that Wade comes with a price, even for Peter—makes Peter mean, and he snarls, "Fine, then. If you won't do it because it's the right thing to do, and you won't do it in exchange for a favor, then what do you want? A blowjob?"

Peter knows he's crossed a line the moment it leaves his mouth. The whites of Wade's mask go round in shock and his mouth goes slack. Soft. A moment later, his tongue slides, searching, across his bottom lip. Peter feels a lightning strike of awareness race down his spine and pool in his gut.

"Peter."

"Wade." Peter bristles. "I told you not to use my name when we're—"

"Peter," Wade says again. Lower. Unyielding. "Shut the fuck up for two seconds. Now."

Peter closes his mouth so quickly his teeth click together. The line of Wade's shoulders is so rigid that it looks brittle, as though one quick movement would make him physically snap apart. Peter rarely sees such seriousness from Wade and, truthfully, it worries him, quietly bleeding the last of his irritation from him as two seconds becomes two minutes, becomes two more.

Together, they sit in silence stretched thick and tense, Peter still clutching his half-eaten burrito, Wade with his fists balled atop his thighs. Wade's eyes are open but unseeing, and the rise and fall of his chest is deep and rhythmic. Peter's seen him do it before, a few times, when the voices in Wade's head start screaming so loud he can't think past them; it's an attempt to put himself back into his brain's driver's seat.

A small amount of guilt wriggles beneath Peter's worry. He folds the excess tinfoil over his food and sets it aside. He isn't hungry anymore.

"I am going to give you the opportunity to take that back," Wade says, after a time. His words fall down into his lap; he hasn't looked up since he told Peter to shut up. "Because if you're fucking with me, you tell me, right now. Tell me it's a joke, and we'll laugh about it. Because if you're not serious—"

"I am." Peter interrupts. "Wade, look at me."

Because the thing is.

The thing is.

Peter's thought about it.

About Wade's mouth, his hands, his cock.

Everything about Wade is big. And Peter—who is shorter than the national average and leaner than most—cannot help but be keenly aware of the difference in their sizes. He's thought about it for years, imagining how Wade could completely box him in, how heavy Wade's weight would be atop him, how full Wade's dick would stuff him. Sure, Peter could lift Wade above him with one hand, but it's less about being overpowered and more about being engulfed, cradled or grounded by nothing more than Wade's bulk.

Peter's well aware of the obsession. He's pretty sure it's mutual, considering Wade's preoccupation with his ass and the insane amount of flirting that normally occurs between them, but he's never been sure enough. He hates that it came out like this: something meant to hurt instead of something meant to heal.

"I shouldn't have said it like that," Peter says when Wade tilts his head to the side. Not looking at him directly, no, but enough so Peter can see how carefully blank his expression is. "It wasn't a joke, but I was angry. I mean, I am angry. This means a lot to me and I do need your help, but I shouldn't've... put that out there, like that."

"Well, why not?" Wade says. His voice is still heartbreakingly even. "A little blowie for a little job. Better than a bar of gold to me, baby boy. You know I'm fucking gagging for it."

"In this case I think I'm the one who would be gagging for it," Peter jokes. Then, "Wade. Please. Look at me."

Wade does.

Peter leans towards him and places a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth. Wade's textured skin is warm beneath Peter's lips. It isn't how he imagined their first kiss, but it's as dangerous as he knew it would be. Such a small movement, lasting less than a heartbeat, sending a disproportionate wave of heat through Peter's entire body. He begins to pull away and—

One of Wade's hands reaches out and—

Grabs the nape of Peter's neck and—

Hauls him back and—

Wade's mouth is unforgiving on his, closed, pressing so hard that Peter's lips are crushed against his teeth. It's a graceless kiss, bruising. A thin whine rises in Peter's throat as he turns the rest of his body into it, grabbing the straps of Wade's shoulder holsters, fingers desperate to find something to hold onto, to keep him grounded. Just a few, frantic seconds, and Peter already feels undone. Hungry. He shifts his hips, slipping his leans thighs over Wade's legs to crawl into the other man's lap, to bring their bodies close—

Wade yanks himself away, breathing hard.

"No," Wade says, hoarsely. "No no no, not now. Not when you're mad at me though—Jesus fucking Christ, don't think I'm not like, half-chubbed up in my fucking cup thinking about you glaring at me while you blow me. Holy shit, that's like, at least twenty percent of my credit line at the spank bank."

"Wade," Peter begs, his head spinning.

"I know, baby boy, I know," Wade croons. He pushes a thumb to the indent beneath Peter's swollen lip, other fingers curled under Peter's chin. "But if we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it later, after the job, when we can get a pillow under your knees and I can see your pretty eyes. You understand?"

"You want me to take my mask off," Peter elaborates.

"I want you naked," Wade clarifies, his voice going low again. "Wanna see how cute you are, how far those freckles go down. Wanna see how red your cheeks get and how you cry when you choke on my cock. Those are my terms. Capice?"

Peter inhales shakily at the mental image, eyes fluttering shut. Him, on his knees, between Wade's massive thighs, struggling to take Wade's cock while Wade's scarred fingers fist in his hair. It will be the first time Wade will see him completely; not just the lower half of his face, mask pulled over his nose, or his bare hand when he takes off his glove to fine tune his web-shooter, but all of him. It's a daunting prospect. Of course it is. Only a handful of people know that Peter Parker and Spiderman are the same person. Can he trust Wade Wilson to be one of those people?

The answer comes quickly.

Yes.

He can.

In truth, over the past five years, Peter has been giving Wade small pieces of himself. Pieces of Spiderman and pieces of Peter. He finds that he's not actually scared of letting Wade see the whole of him. He might still be wary of owing Deadpool a favor—sensibility is not the mercenary's most well-known character trait—but he knows, to his bones, that he can trust Wade, the man, with this. With him.

This is not how I expected tonight to go, Peter thinks mirthfully. Aloud, he says, "When I get what I need, and I get it to Matt, I'll text you my address."

"Fuck me, baby boy," Wade hisses. His big hands, still on Peter's body, tighten briefly, then relax. "Are you absolutely, red-100-underline-underline emoji sure?"

"Been thinking about it, for awhile. Haven't you?"

"Since the day you swung into my life."

"Then you have your answer." Bravely, Peter leans in to bump his nose against Wade's. "I'll text you the details."

Wade rubs their noses together before pulling away. Peter unhooks his fingers from Wade's shoulder holsters and climbs out of Wade's lap, standing on the ledge and taking a step back. The places where they had been touching are unexpectedly cold. Peter quickly tugs his mask back down over his mouth and throat before he's tempted to do something foolish, like climb right back into Wade's arms.

"Tomorrow night," Peter says.

"Tomorrow," Wade answers.

Peter salutes as he lets himself fall off the rooftop. Gravity tugs him down and—fleetingly—he experiences the exhilarating weightlessness of free fall. Then he fires his web-shooter and swings away, the rush of air around him unable to disguise Wade's loud whoop of triumph.

Behind his mask, Peter smiles.

.

Part 2

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[invisibleraven]

Love Letter for the rarepair of your choice?

Dear Julie,

I like you, do you like me?

Yes No Maybe

Julie looked up as the words on the note registered in her mind. She had never gotten a note like this before, and briefly wondered if it were a joke. Or maybe intended for Julie Whitmore, even if her desk was on the opposite side of the room.

She glanced around, but didn't see anyone looking at her, waiting for her reply, or reaction even. Why had the person not signed the note?

She sighed and shoved the note into her bag, determined to forget it. Only yo pull it out and study it. The handwriting was unfamiliar, written in generic blue ink, so that ruled out half the girls i the room, since they mostly prefered glittery gel pens in every hue of the rainbow. It also ruled out all the people using black pens or pencils, and Julie did a quick scan of the room.

There was David K, who was a major bully and had called her mean names, so shuddered at the thought of him harbouring a crush on her. There was Marianna W, who was super cute with her bouncy ginger ringlets and bright gray eyes, but she was also dating one of the basketball players, so Julie doubted the note was from her.

That left Luke and Reggie, and Julie scoffed at the idea of either of them writing her a love note. They were her best friends, and terrible at hiding who they liked, so if they had a crush on her, either one, she would know about it. Plus their mutual best friend Alex would have told her already, since he quote 'couldn't stand heterosexual pining'.

But then again, they had all teased Alex about his giant pining crush on Willie back before they started dating, so she didn't think he had room to talk.

Plus she knew Luke's writing, given they song wrote together almost every day, and Reggie's from helping her with math homework, so that discounted them both. She crumbled the note back up and put it in her bag once more, determined to pay attention in class.

Only it was like an itch she couldn't quite reach, the need to know who could possibly be crushing on her.

But then she caught sight of someone she hadn't even considered tapping a blue pen against his chin-Nick Danforth Evans. AKA the cutest, sweetest boy in school. Also totally unobtainable, since he and Carrie had been dating since middle school. Even if they broke up every other month, they always managed to get back together. Julie didn't stand a chance with him.

Okay, so maybe she did like Nick, but it was a fantasy kind of crush-like the one you would have on a celebrity, a passing fancy more than real feelings. But if the note was from him, well he deserved an answer at least. She circled Yes nd tossed it on his desk, then hid her face in her hands.

Peering through her fingers she watched as Nick unfolded the note, and the confused little smile that he gave when he saw it.

Which is exactly when the bell chose to ring.

And Nick got up, sauntering over to her desk. "Hi Julie."

"Hi Nickalicious. Nicky poo. The Nickster!" Julie cringed, why was her mouth being so stupid?

"I appreciate the note," Nick said, thankfully not calling attention to how weird she was being. "But I didn't write it to you."

"Oh," Julie said, then gave a fake laugh. "Of course you didn't! I wasn't sure who did, and well, you had a blue pen and..."

"Oh, I borrowed the pen from Kayla," Nick said. "Mine died half way through, and she has so many, it wasn't a problem."

Julie's eyes flew wide open and then danced around the room looking for Kayla.

Gorgeous, talented Kayla who was always nice to everyone. Who came to every Phantoms gig, even if it earned her Carrie's ire. Who loaned Julie history notes when she caught mono earlier the year, and even stayed to help her study for the make up exam. Kayla who Julie had harboured a little bit of feelings for ever since, but didn't want to presume too much. Kayla who was looking at Julie with hopeful eyes right now.

She was standing there, oh so slowly packing up her bag, trying to make it look like she wasn't watching Nick and Julie...and blushing faintly. "I think I need that note back," she said quietly.

Nick chuckled. "Here you go, go get 'er tiger."

Julie smoothed out her clothes, shoved her things into her bag and walked over to Kayla. "I think this is yours," she said, casually handing over the note.

"I saw you toss it at Nick," Kayla said shyly. "I get it if the answer is different when you know I wrote it."

Julie hummed. "No, I think my answer is the same."

Kayla picked up the note and beamed. "Really?"

"Yeah," Julie said, extending her hand. "Maybe we could go get some milkshakes? Talk about it some more?"

"I'm lactose intolerant," Kayla replied apologetically.

"I know a place that does dairy free, we go there a lot because Alex is too."

"Well then, lead the way Molina," Kayla said, taking her hand.

And that night, with Kayla's lipgloss still faint on Julie's mouth, she put the little note in her dream box, and over the years, she had to get a whole separate one for all the little notes Kayla wrote her-right up to the one she used to propose.

[umbane]

Name: K'Sante

Age: Older than you.

Do you like to cuddle?: Yes, but no

Can we make-out?: No, thank you.

A night in or dinner out?: I would prefer a night in. Less cameras.

Whip cream or chocolate syrup?: For what?

Chocolates and roses?: Erm.

What makes you a good Valentine?: I honestly do not know.

Would you cook for me?: I have. You just do not have taste.

Would you let me cook for you?: Never in a million years :)

Where would you take me on a date?: A rage room.

Who’s paying?: We are both grown men capable of paying our own way.

What did you get me for Valentine’s Day?: Nothing 💛 but if you want in on some of this discounted chocolate strawberries, I wouldn't mind sharing.

"You really think you're older than me?" Of course, that's been well established, even taking Kayn's fake birthday into account. Still, as Kayn's eye scans the application, his eyebrows go up like he read something interesting. "You know what it's for. You seem like a whipped cream kinda guy." And, lifting up his eye patch like it'll help him comprehend the ridiculous words K'Sante wrote, "You're not gonna pay for me because we're both men? Some kinda gentleman you are. No heart-shaped spicy cheeto cake for you."

"Buuuuut.... the rage room sounds sick. Accepted."

[originaltyphoonkryptonite]

Chapter 14: Oops

Dick pov

I stopped at a jewelery store right before heading to Zella's apartment. I'm pretty sure I got her ring size right, I mean I did notice when she was wearing a ring once what size it was so this simple diamond ring should do. I sigh as I park my car in the back and made my way inside. This won't end well like trying to explain to Bruce the truth before I left.

~Flash-back~

"Bruce we need to talk.", I say as I walk into his office and right towards his desk.

"About what?", He says not looking up from his computer.

"It's about my fiancée."

"What's this about you getting married!?", Jason appeared out of no where and walks inside the room.

"Uh, Jaybird. I-"

"What girl would want to marry you?", he asks laughing.

"Some people are trying to work so please keep the noise down.", Tim says as he pokes his head in the doorway.

"Get this Tim, Dick is getting married. Hahaha."

"Are you kidding?", Tim asks as he walks inside.

"Nope."

"And after dating so many girls."

"I feel bad for the bride-to-be."

"HEY!", I yell at Jason.

"You said you wanted to talk about her Dick?", Bruce ask as as he looks over at me.

"Well, the thing is that she's really.....uh really-"

"She's really shy about meeting new people Father.", Damian interrupts me. He walks in with a plate of cookies in his hands. I recognized them as the ones Zell made.

"Is that so? Well then when she comes to visit I expect you to be on your best behavior. All of you. Since she is going to become part of the family we should make her feel at home."

"Wait, how do you know she's shy?", Tim asks Damian with a raised eyebrow.

"Simple Drake. I met her about 4 months ago."

"Where did you get the cookies?" , Jason asks as he swipes one. He takes a bite and is surprised.

"Huh."

"What Todd? And if you must know Grayson's fiancée made them."

"They're pretty good."

"Let me try one.", Tim swipes a cookie and eats it. "They are good."

"See? She's a good cook.", Damian says with a smirk. "She also owns a bookstore Todd."

"Really? Maybe I'll get a brother-in-law discount.", Jason says in thought.

I wanted to face-palm so much. Damian is just making it harder to tell the truth!

"Maybe we should let Master Dick return home. After all, I'm sure Miss Duff is missing him greatly.", Alfred says as he walks in with a tray of drinks for us. He even had a traveling mug for me. I take that one and just hold it.

"Good idea Alfred. Dick, you head home and tell her about the dinner next week. I look forward to meeting her.", Bruce smiles at me.

"Sure.", I said weakly and head out the door.

~Present Time~

I knock on Zell's door with the box in my jean pocket. I hear barking and then scratching on the door. I laugh when Cippia stopped and realized he could just go under the door. Once he did, he jumps on his back legs with his front paws on my shoulders and licked my face.

"Hey bud."

"Dick?", Zella asks as she opens the door.

"Hey."

Cippia gets down and sits at our feet wagging his tail.

"Zella?"

"Yes Dick?"

"Will you be my fake fiancée and have family dinner next week at Wayne Manor?"

"..."

"Zell?"

"..."

"Zella?"

"..."

"ZELLA!", I yell as there was a loud thud noise.

[currywaifu]

𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: playing pretend 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: minagi tsuzuru/reader 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw 𝐰𝐜: 3.5k words, 1 image

𝐚𝐧: tysm~ Everyday, my love for this boi increases. Also here’s the thing, I’m a hoe for fake dating. Listen, I can and would write so many fake-dating fics. Watch me apply every trope here lol. enoUGH ABOUT THAT, enjoy :>

He watched you stride over to him, quickly setting your bag down the empty space beside him. Before he could greet you, you slapped what looked to be a flyer in front of him. He was no Kazunari, but the tackiness of the hot pink mixed with crimson made his eyes burn.

“Hn? Did you design this or something?” He asked, turning away from the paper to look at you.

“Tsuzuru!” Watching you pout reminded him a little bit of his younger brothers when they wanted something from him, maybe that was why the brunet couldn’t help but tease you a little bit.

He’s known you for almost two years now, so he can already guess what you’re gonna ask of him. Nevertheless, he patiently waits for you to sit down and begin your business pitch.

“So you remember the cute but affordable cafe we went to two weeks ago right?” When Tsuzuru nods you scoff at yourself, “duh, you’re sleep-deprived not suffering from memory loss. Anyway,”

Tsuzuru intercepts you with a quip of his own, “takes one to know one, right? Who’s the one messaged me at 3 am?”

“It was important!”

“You sent me a TikTok asking if I was a toaster,” he watched the corners of your lips stretch upwards, “because you wanted to take a bath with me… you need help.”

You could only nudge him in retaliation. “It was a 3 am mood, okay? I was going to go to sleep already when I realised I forgot the assigned readings and I went all what the fuck.”

“Good grief… Seriously,” Tsuzuru laughed, shaking his head as he read the flyer more carefully this time, “2 for the price of 1 drink of your choice?”

Your eyes sparkled with excitement, “so the fine print does say it has to either be hot chocolate or milk tea, but like, still!”

“I have a shift 6 pm onwards, but,” well, not spending at all would be optimal, but exams finished two days ago and neither of you had the chance to reward yourselves for the hard work, “as long as we don’t stay that long.”

You giggled, trying to suppress your volume as the door burst open with the professor in tow, “you really are the toaster to my bathtub, the left AirPod to my right Air-“

“I’m regretting everything,” he groaned, “not that I mind getting discounts, but will you ever take someone else?”

“Listen, my fellow stingy boi,” with the most serious tone you could muster, you put your hands over his, “for as long as you don’t start dating, I will exploit you in all my schemes.”

As soon as 4 pm rolled in the two of you were out of the campus. It wasn’t the first time you dragged him into similar endeavours, neither did he have the heart to stop going along with you nor stop you.

Every now and then there would be a special offer or discount for couples, and Tsuzuru was your poor victim. It wasn’t bad, though. The two of you valued affordability and formed some kind of partnership in finding and sharing good deals on all sorts of products.

If that included coincidentally wearing the same outfit colour scheme and walking closer to each other, it wasn’t either of your faults if people assumed you were dating. At least, that’s what he’ll tell himself. If somehow his acting skills and your determination don’t win in the end, he’ll just chide you for bringing him into this and run.

“Looks like we’re not the only ones with the same idea,” you said, the both of you looking at the line just starting to form outside the establishment, “should we get the drinks to go? It’ll be less hassle than trying to get a seat inside.”

Tsuzuru nods, letting you hold onto his arm while falling in line for a special booth specifically for take-outs.

An unfamiliar voice, to Tsuzuru that is, calls out your name; the both of you find the couple directly in front you turned around to face you. When you grip his arm a little tighter, he knows something’s up. For a moment, you stiffen slightly at the sight of your high school ex-boyfriend and the girl beside him who was smiling as awkwardly as you felt. Quickly fixing yourself, you set a grin on your face.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” You replied, stepping a little closer to the boy beside you.

Subconsciously you wrap an arm around Tsuzuru’s waist, and if he’s uncomfortable by that he doesn’t show it. As expected of your favourite actor!

“It really has! You getting the promo too?” With a wide grin, he put his arm around who you presumed to be his girlfriend, “she’s been craving milk tea, so we decided to get some ♡~” Oh? He wants to out-sweet you? Doesn’t matter if it’s intentional or not, he’s gonna get it. You can be petty too!

You pressed the side of your face against Tsuzuru’s shoulder, leaving just enough room for you to be able to reply back.

“Same here~ Tsuzu-kun and I really love the stuff here ♡ we can’t get enough of the flavours- oh, looks like it’s your turn to order?” Gesturing at the front of the booth where the cashier stared at the pair, the female proceeded to order while the guy kept talking. Inwardly, you wished you could tell him to shut the hell up. Was he always this talkative in the past?

“Well, it’s been fun catching up!” Catching up, he says? What the fuck did you guys catch up on? The fact that both of you had dates? Well, not exactly on your case, but he didn’t know that, “I hope you guys enjoy your date ♡!”

Before you could think of the most sickeningly sweet way to phrase a you too, Tsuzuru breaks his silence, “we already are enjoying, thank you.”

Your ex looks slightly shocked, before turning around. Holy shit, your brain.exe isn’t responding, do you close the program or wait for it to respond? Totally forgot that not only was Tsuzuru an actor, but a playwright as well. Of course he’d be good with dialogue.

You weren’t really expecting Tsuzuru to respond. Usually it was you who did the talking, you took responsibility for dragging him along all the time so might as well play the role of the sweet s/o, right?

Still, just one line from him was a pleasant surprise. And to your ex nonetheless!

When it’s your turn to order you quickly slam the payment on the counter, startling both the poor cashier and Tsuzuru. Before he could protest, you wink at him, “let me treat you for your hard work today!”

As the two of you left, your hand hung lightly on his arm, you swore you could feel eyes digging into your skull. You spun around, causing the man beside you to stop his tracks as well, but from what you could tell you didn’t recognise anyone.

“You alright?” Tsuzuru asks, sounding slightly concerned at your sudden action. You looked back to face him, before nodding to reassure him.

“Yep! Let’s go find somewhere to sit before you go to work. We still have some time to hang out.”

Neither of you noticed the two people staring at you from inside the cafe.

“Oi oi, ain’t that Tsuzuru?”

“Haa… looks like we’ve seen something we shouldn’t have?”

Finally sat at a park bench, you found yourself a little bit more conscious of how touchy you were being a while ago. Sure, holding onto his arm here and there when people could see was fine, but if he wasn’t okay with it you had to apologise.

“Sorry, was I too much a while ago?” He sipped onto his drink for a moment, before shaking his head. He looked slightly exasperated, but it didn’t seem to be directed at you.

“Was that your ex? He was kind of annoying.” You chuckled.

“Yeah, but like way back in high school so I’m not pressed or anything. Broke up through text, had the audacity to use text abbreviations plus send a heart emote with his message. Character limit, I guess.”

Tsuzuru’s expression twisted, and you couldn’t tell if what he felt was wry amusement or disgust. Both, perhaps? “That ain’t it, chief. He’s either an insensitive jerk or an, uh… insensitive eccentric… you’re really okay?”

Rolling your eyes, you brought back your hand to his arm to squeeze it to put him at ease. “Obviously! Tsuzuru, you and me, we make a great pair! Plus, your ad-lib totally shook him! Simple but effective, it was a nice touch.”

Just as Tsuzuru was getting used to the added weight on his arm, the pressure lightened up once again. You one-sidedly clink your cups together before you resumed drinking the beverage, “we should do this again sometime.”

Which part?

The two of you always went out to redeem promos and discounts anyway, that much was a given, so did you mean something else?

“Yeah, we should.”

He did not expect to be confronted within a minute of coming back to the dorm. Itaru, Kazunari, Banri, Omi, and Tsumugi all simultaneously looked at him upon his entrance in the living room.

“Good evening?” He greeted them, albeit a little awkwardly. Is he missing out on something? Were they playing some kind of mind fuck prank or psychology game?

“We were just talking about you,” Tsumugi started before quickly retracting his statement, “ah, wait, that sounded kind of weird right? What we’re trying to say is-”

“Tsuzuroon, I totes get why you never wanna go to mixers!” Kazunari interrupted, adding onto Tsuzuru’s confusion.

“Didn’t know you had it in ya,” Banri continues, “when we saw ya outside the cafe a while ago-“

Oh, ohhhhh. That’s what they meant?

For a moment, he feels a smidge of relief from figuring out what he was missing out on, until his stomach plummeted once more. Oh, fuck, that meant at least Banri and some other guy saw him, with you. With your hand dangling on his arm, your arm around his waist, your face pressed up against his shoulder-

He can feel his face start to heat up, though he’s not sure if it’s more getting caught or more recollecting what happened a while ago.

“Can’t believe you’re dating someone now, GJ.” Itaru says with his shit-eating grin, before looking back down towards his phone.

He should really be clearing up the misunderstanding. It was simple- the two of you were just friends, you went together to redeem a promo, that was it.

“Hey, that’s not-“

“Is it someone from Yosei?” Omi interjects, looking a little bit thoughtful as he tried guessing who it could be, “Hmm… the one you’re with a lot, right? What was their name again?”

He prays to the first deity he could think of, which was for naught because Tsuzuru’s ears perk up as soon as the photographer says your first name. At a loss for words for how fast your identity was revealed, Omi’s chuckles get echoed by the other boys.

He didn’t get to deny it. He wouldn’t be surprised if by tomorrow morning, everyone thought the two of you were a thing.

Tsuzuru thinks this should be more of a pain to him, but he can’t will it in himself to be bothered by the assumption they have on his relationship. If for a little while he could avoid Kazunari wanting to bring him to mixers, he could consider this an advantage.

…

When your phone alarm rings you jolt up from your bed, panicking slightly until you realise that you didn’t have class today. Lazily stretching to grab your phone, you notice a text from Tsuzuru.

“Pfft, can’t believe I influenced him this much, lol.” You muttered, setting down your phone to make breakfast.

It’s not until you enter the kitchen that you realise you were smiling the whole time.

Other than a few knowing looks from Omi and a curious gaze here and there from the purple-haired one (you’ve come to learn his name was Juza), nothing really changed between the two of you.

Until Tsuzuru gets hit by the familiar sight of you rushing towards the table he was situated at. Your eyes weren’t brimming with excitement, no visible smile, so he braced himself for what you had to tell him.

“I need a favour. You can refuse if you want, but you’d actually be saving my life so hear me out please,” as if to put further emphasis on your current predicament you placed your hands atop of his.

“Go on,” he urged you.

“Not to be a fanfiction trope, but I need you to be my date at my old homeroom teacher’s wedding,” you groaned, “that my ex is also attending.”

Tsuzuru didn’t know if he should comfort you or laugh at the situation, “and you need me to go because-“

“Because,” you interjected, “that dumbass asked the group chat if he could bring a date, then encouraged me to bring my date too. Then my competitive dumbass was all like, yeah we’ll see you there!”

You hid your face with your arms, resting your head on the table. “Tsuzuruuuu, I messed up huhu. I only wanted to go for the reception, what am I doing with my life, I didn’t even like that teacher so why did I accept?” you whined.

Fake dating to redeem promos was one thing, pretending to be a couple in front of your old classmates is another thing, pretending to be a couple while attending a wedding is another spectrum of things.

“When is it?” You raised your head to respond.

“Next Sunday, 10 am. Reception at noon, probably.”

He’s not too sure why he keeps going along with your whims. It could be because you’re a dear friend to him, or he doesn’t mind all that much whenever you’d drag him along to fake-date to get sweet deals hang-out, but he can’t deny that being with you is a nice feeling lowers his stress levels.

“I’ll be your date,” Your eyes immediately snap up to meet his, still traces of hesitance on your face.

“I could totally just make up an excuse on why you or both of us can’t go, are you sure?”

Nodding his head, Tsuzuru was soothed by your usual, bright smile- spectacular to the point that it made him think of the rainbows that came after spring showers. He felt the corners of his lips being tugged upwards; before he could calm himself you wrapped your arms around him, a spontaneous and affectionate embrace.

“Thank you, thank you! Gosh, I love you!” You squealed, and his plan to calm himself down failed ultimately. He was glad your face was buried against his chest right now, at least you wouldn’t be able to see the rising flush on his face; then again, you probably could detect how his heart writhed and thumped.

“What colour are you wearing?” He finally asked, refusing to acknowledge the slight displeasure as you let him escape your caged arms.

“Green or teal, maybe.”

“We’re in your room exactly why again?” You propped your hands on your hips, giving him a look that said really, now.

“We need to practice touching each- okay, wait let me rephrase, ugh…” trailing off, you sat yourself down on your bed as you covering your face with a pillow, your voice coming out muffled, “casual touching.”

“Don’t we already touch each other?” Lowering your pillow to peek at Tsuzuru, he turned away from you in apparent embarrassment, “you know what I mean!”

Tension was building up in the room, much to your chagrin. Tsuzuru had a point. Even though you initiated affection pretty much all the time, the two of you already had a bunch of pre-planned poses to convince people that you were dating.

“I guess I just wanted to do more…” it was hard for you to admit that to yourself, much more out loud, but it was the truth. You didn’t have any grounds to ask more of him, but selfishly you wanted him to reciprocate your affection.

You could swear up and down that it was just you craving affection, but the truth of the matter was that it was his affection you wanted-  you craved being physically and emotionally close to him.

The line you drew was getting blurry. You didn’t want to ruin anything.

The weight on the bed shifted.

“Hey,” Tsuzuru looped an arm around your waist, gently petting the top of your head, “don’t overthink this. Just be natural, whatever you do I’ll go along with and vice versa. This is just the same as all the other times.”

It didn’t feel like it.

“Thank you,” you replied, releasing the pillow from your death grip and lightly hugging it instead, “I was overthinking it. Can you stay for a while, or do you have to go? I feel like watching Whisper of the Heart.”

Tsuzuru scoffed lightly, “We watched that last time. Laputa: Castle in the Sky or nothing.”

With a laugh you shoved your pillow at Tsuzuru, standing up from the bed. “I’ll get some snacks, brb.”

As soon as you exited the room Tsuzuru buried his face against the fluffy cushion, letting out a noise between ardour and agony. This was just method acting, they’ve done this before. No need to get all worked up about it.

As luck would have it, you and Tsuzuru immediately ran into a bunch of your old classmates.

“Ne? Is this your boyfriend?” One of the girls asked, giving him a quick glance, “your outfit matches his eyes! Love it~”

Tsuzuru coughed lightly.

“Shh, I was waiting for him to notice!” You giggled, looking into Tsuzuru’s eyes before looking away within a few seconds, “his eyes are really beautiful, I doubt I could ever do them justice.”

“Hey, don’t say that,” Tsuzuru swoops in, curling an arm around your waist, “you look really lovely today.”

“Tsuzuru,” you murmured, heart hammering a little faster, wondering if he was being as truthful as you were.

In the eyes of the girls in front of you, they were looking at two bashful lovers, and they were eating it all up.

“Wah! I wish I could get a boyfriend as sweet as him!” With a pout, you situated yourself to stand a little closer to your date.

“Well don’t get any ideas, he’s mine~” you teased them, laughing along with the rest of the group.

…

When the vows of the couple began, you found yourself sniffling.

“I thought you didn’t like that teacher,” Tsuzuru whispered jokingly, but he reached out to hold your hand for comfort, brushing his thumb against your knuckles.

You ignored him, actively listening to the bride’s speech.

“Falling in love with you was like entering a house and finally realising I'm home. When you smile at me, I feel the glow of the sun against my skin. When your eyes are locked on mine, it's like I can see countless of stars instead of just pupils. Having you in my life makes me feel like everything's possible in this world, we simply work together. With you, I’ve discovered so many things, things I’ve come to treasure, but the best discovery of all was love.”

Eyes stuck on the scene in front of you, you failed to notice the look of longing from the man beside you. It was as if the words uttered all applied to you, and yet somehow the words he could write about you wouldn’t be enough to express what he felt.

He settles on retrieving his handkerchief from his pocket and gently dabbing it around your eyes.

…

The whole reception was a bliss that came and went too fast for your liking. There was the plus that your ex miraculously couldn’t attend the reception, as well as the chef’s kiss worthy buffet, but you owed it all to Tsuzuru.

It was the same feeling for Tsuzuru, who didn’t feel awkward or out of place the whole time with you by his side. He kept looking forward to the next thing you would do, regardless if people were even watching the two of you or not.

When you let him feed you a slice of cake.

When he used his thumb to wipe off the crumbs near your lips.

When you rest your head against his shoulder.

When he cheered for you even with an unsuccessful bouquet toss.

Nothing felt faked today.

After saying your goodbyes to everyone, the two of you headed home hand-in-hand in silence. Every time you took a glance at the man beside you, so much feelings burst from within, but words themselves could not escape.

Stopping outside your apartment, you let go of one hand.

“Thank you for today,” you whisper, cupping his face to kiss him right where the corner of his lips ended, barely missing them. Tuning out every noise but yourselves, you heard his breath hitch.

“Are… are we still pretending?” Tsuzuru waited with bated breath for your response.

Mustering up all your courage, you shake your head. “I’m not. Are you?”

Squeezing your hand, he pressed his forehead against yours, “I’m not either,” he said quietly, before softly pressing his lips against yours.

want to order again?

[wren-of-the-woods]

Fake Dating Fic Recs

Geraskier

The Grass is Greener by @jaskierswolf Rated G, 6k

Jaskier's mother is coming to stay and his garden is an absolute mess and his lawn mower has seen better days... luckily for him his ridiculously hot neighbour is there to lend a hand.

A Favor for a Friend by biancarambles Rated T, 5k

As if being hopelessly in love and sharing a room with his best friend Jaskier isn’t hard enough for poor Geralt, he just can’t say no when Jaskier asks him to accompany him to his grandfather’s funeral. What better way to get back at Jaskier’s estranged, homophobic family than attending the funeral with a handsome (fake) boyfriend in tow? Any heartbreak on Geralt’s part is just collateral damage.

Christmas Downhill by avengeful-bunny (brodeurbunny30) Rated T, 66k

Jaskier, a struggling musician on the outs with his wealthy, elitist family is invited to spend a very special Christmas at his childhood home...with his boyfriend that technically doesn't exist. Enter Geralt, a Law student and part-time ski instructor who happens to fit all the requirements to play fake boyfriend in front of the family, for a small fee. With the magic of the season in the air, will the plan go flawlessly, or will a case of the feelings cause it all to go downhill? Either way, it promises to be a Christmas to remember.

The Bet by ladyprydian Rated T, 12k

“It was your idea Geralt!” Jaskier says. “ ‘Why don’t you cheat Jaskier’ you said-” “I did not say that!” Geralt growls. “ - so if I’m going to cheat you’re going to cheat with me!” “No Jaskier, absolutely not!” “Please Geralt. It’s just for December. Be my boyfriend for a month.”

I Scream a Truth, You Hear a Lie by @flowercrown-bard Rated T, 21k

When some bigoted man insists that Geralt can’t feel love, Jaskier blurts out that they are married - which they very much aren’t. So naturally, Geralt and Jaskier have to pretend to be husbands to convince people that Geralt is lovable, though no one doubts that more than Geralt himself.

Fast Track to Happily Ever After by trekkiepirate Rated T, 3k

Geralt opened his eyes to see Jaskier frantically tossing their belongings into packs. “That’s my shirt, not yours.” Jaskier looked down at the black linen in his hand and then tossed it into Geralt’s pack. “Right, yes, I knew that. Glad you’re awake; we need to go.”

Kiss me, for real this time by @jaskierswolf Rated T, 2k

“So… you’ll come to the banquet to protect me, but not as my bodyguard?” Jaskier sang. Geralt furrowed his brow and hummed. Jaskier rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Well you still refuse to use the term friend so that won’t work. You’ll have to be my plus one!” He laughed at his own joke, ignoring the spike in his heartbeat. Just a joke, Jask. Geralt hummed and tilted his head. “Alright.”

Snowstorm by @lovelyrita1967 Rated T, 9k

Geralt and Jaskier work in a restaurant together, but a snowstorm changes everything.

winnings and weddings by @purpurred Rated M, 16k

Jaskier and Geralt have to pretend to be engaged. Surprisingly, it's Geralt's idea. Everything is simultaneously the most hare-brained scheme and the most thorough production in the world.

Wild Blue Yonder by @jaskierswolf Rated T, 5k

Geralt's bookshop is slowly falling apart and he's ready to give up when Jaskier wanders into the store

overcome by @penandinkprincess Rated T, 38k

Drawn by a competition but afraid of a dark figure from his past, Jaskier manages to convince Geralt to attend with him. Now if the witcher would just stop asking why.

A Valentine's to Remember by @jaskierswolf Rated T, 3k

For Valentine's Day Jaskier has arrived to walk alpacas with his very best friend in the whole wide world... the catch? They have to pretend to be dating to get the Valentine's Day discount.

~~~

Other Pairings

champagne problems by @yoursummerfrost Yennefer/Jaskier, Geralt/Yennefer/Jaskier, Rated T, 11k

When Jaskier finds out that his ex-boyfriend is getting married, he convinces Yennefer to help him stage a fake proposal so he can ruin the wedding. There's just one problem: it turns out they both know the caterer.

Don't Stop Believin' by @skaldingrayne Lambert/Jaskier, Rated T, 5k

"I wish I could find a guy like you to actually date," Jaskier mumbled, so softly Lambert almost hadn't heard him over the music. Lambert snorted, a sharp and unwelcome pain shooting through his chest at the joke. Not that it was a very funny one. "Literally standing right here, Jas." "Yeah, but...not straight, I mean," came Jaskier's mystifying reply. Wait…Straight? Him? Lambert craned his head back just far enough to look Jaskier in those unfairly blue eyes. "You…You know I'm bi, right?"

A Marriage of Inconvenience by @ghostinthelibrarywrites Yennefer/Jaskier, Rated M, 7k

When Jaskier asks Yennefer to pretend to marry him in order to go undercover in a Nilfgaardian operative’s court, she decides she can’t let Geralt’s ridiculous bard get himself killed. But in the weeks that follow, the two grow closer and Yennefer begins to develop some inconvenient feelings for her pretend husband.

[kuruptfm1089]

1: Name: Delia

2: Age: 23

3: 3 Fears: murder rape kidnapping dying a disappointment

4: 3 things I love: Jimmy, Astrid, my job

5: 4 turns on: dominance, tattoos, confidence, humour

6: 4 turns off: narcissism, entitlement, stealing, general nastiness

7: My best friend: Hannah and Jim

8: Sexual orientation: bisexual

9: My best first date: into the spiderverse i think

10: How tall am I? 174cm, i have not grown

11: What do I miss? Jimmy

12: What time was I born? 6pm i think

13: Favourite colour? Green 14: Do I have a crush: on Jimmy, yes

15: Favourite quote: ??

16: Favourite place: Paris

17: Favourite food: chicken of most sorts

18: Do I use sarcasm: yep

19: What am I listening to right now? the keyboard clacking as i type

20: First thing I notice in a new person: how they act around others

21: Shoe size: womens 11, mens 9

22: Eye colour: green / hazel

23: Hair colour: brown

24: Favourite style of clothing: baggy pant air max

25: Ever done a prank call? probably

27: Meaning behind my URL: fav tv show reference

28: Favourite movie: ah. la haine?

29: Favourite song: atm - which way to go by eddy current. all time - eye know by de la soul

30: Favourite band: eddy current, the clash, my chemical romance, de la soul, tribe called quest

31: How I feel right now: tired

32: Someone I love: Seb

33: My current relationship status: committed

34: My relationship with my parents: flawed ( still true ) but better

35: Favourite holiday: christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing if have: 20 tats..., . earlobes x 3 and nostril

37: Tattoos and piercing if want: (this was literally hysterical to read back on i have 20 and counting that are not small almost all trad and my first was a massive fuck off flower)

38: The reason I joined Tumblr: i don’t remember

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? look.,, it's likely

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts? every day :)

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? noooo it is my boss

42: When did I last hold hands? saturday mornin

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 45-60mins

44: Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? not even in the last three weeks lol

45: Where am I right now? in bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? literally any of my mates

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? looooud

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? both

49: Am I excited for anything? mcr, dani's wedding, jim's art exhibition, yes

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? yes, seb and jim

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? every day babey retail life

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? todaaay

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? I'd stab him to death and then slit my throat

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? nope

55: What is something I disliked about today? being paranoid as fuck

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? fuck. tough one. frank iero?

57: What do I think about most? jim

58: What’s my strangest talent? none

59: Do I have any strange phobias? probably? idk

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind

61: What was the last lie I told? no discounts sorry karen

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? phone

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? sure? and probably idk

64: Do I believe in magic? a lil bit

65: Do I believe in luck? yes

66: What’s the weather like right now? unpredictable

67: What was the last book I’ve read? Kings Way

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yummy

69: Do I have any nicknames? Del, Deals, Deli, Delibird, Bobby

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? A concussion (ye)

71: Do I spend money or save it? spend lol.......

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? With a tongue? Probably. With my tongue? No(good answer past me)

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? my vtg blank hoodie >:)

74: Favourite animal? kangaroo,

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? tossing and turning

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? idk

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? shake it metro station

78: How can you win my heart? easy. have tattoo. be cool. chuck me on piece.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? idk lol. bit morbid

80: What is my favourite word? hmmmmm dunno

81: My top 5 blogs on Tumblr? none

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? be fucking nice to each other cunt

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? no :/

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? maybe invisibilty. telekinesis still cool tho

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? i'm not sure i'm a pretty open book

86: What is my current desktop picture? apple_default

87: Had sex? yes

88: Bought condoms? yes

89: Gotten pregnant? nope good riddance

90: Failed a class? yep

91: Kissed a boy? yep

92: Kissed a girl? yes

92.1: Kissed a non binary person? yep

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? yep

94: Had job? yep, x5

95: Left the house without my wallet? yep

96: Bullied someone on the internet? yes lol tiktok moment

97: Had sex in public? nah

98: Played on a sports team? yes

99: Smoked weed? .....yes

100: Did drugs? yes

101: Smoked cigarettes? .yes

102: Drank alcohol? yep

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? nope

104: Been overweight? nope

105: Been underweight? yep

106: Been to a wedding? yeas as baby but bridemaid next week

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? yes many a time

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably hahahah

109: Been outside my home country? yep

110: Gotten my heart broken? yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? yes

112: Broken a bone? no

113: Cut myself? yes

114: Been to prom? technically yes but not to american standards

115: Been in airplane? yes

116: Fly by helicopter? nope. never ever ever. death trap

117: What concerts have I been to? Ed Sheeran, The Kooks, All Time Low, Fall Out Boy, One Direction *don’t even*, Arctic Monkeys, Mac Demarco, San Cisco, The Cure, King Gizz, Tame Impala, Twenty One pilots, King Krule x 2, Digable Planets, Wiki, The Strokes

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? yes

119: Learned another language? oui

120: Wore make up? yes every day

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? yes! 17

122: Had oral sex? yes

123: Dyed my hair? yes

124: Voted in a presidential election? na fuk tha president

125: Rode in an ambulance? yes

126: Had a surgery? yes x3?

127: Met someone famous? yeeee a couple times but best one Guy Pearce

128: Stalked someone on a social network? yes.

129: Peed outside? yep

130: Been fishing? uep

131: Helped with charity? yep

132: Been rejected by a crush? yes

133: Broken a mirror? no

134: What do I want for my birthday? a house

1-134 x

1: Name: Delia

2: Age: 15

3: 3 Fears: the dark, clowns, loneliness

4: 3 things I love: cats, Vaughan, my bed

5: 4 turns on: dominance in general??/, nice hands, that’s all if can think of

6: 4 turns off: ignorant people?

7: My best friend: Vaughan

8: Sexual orientation: pansexual

9: My best first date: i’ve only had the one and we walked to the yarra river and sat down and he put his head in my lap and talked about the breakfast club and we held hands and he tried to kiss me and i said no and he felt bad.

10: How tall am I? 174cm

Keep reading

[fickleminder]

let us die young (or let us live forever)

Life in the Devildom living with seven demon lords is pretty darn good. If there’s one thing you’re sure of, it’s that you’re loved, wholly, irrevocably, and forever.

Rushed this in a week wooooooo *dies*

You sigh in relief as someone gently places a cool, damp towel on your heated forehead. A drop of water slides off your temple before a gloved thumb rubs it away, and you crack your eyes open blearily.

Lucifer smiles down at you. “Good morning, dearest. How are you feeling?”

“Like crap,” you groan, reaching out to grasp at his waistcoat weakly. He covers your hand with his and squeezes it in comfort. “I think it was whatever special ingredient Mammon added to my noodles yesterday…”

“And that’s why you should always follow the instructions on the cup,” the demon chides, not unkindly. Seeing you in such a pathetic state usually either amps up his sadism or makes him softer than normal. You’re just grateful it’s the latter this time.

You whine miserably. “This sucks… I feel like I’m gonna die…”

“You won’t,” comes the surprisingly firm answer to your dramatics. Lucifer looks you in the eye and dips his head. “We’ll take care of you, and we won’t ever let it come to that.”

Your cheeks warm, even with the fever. “Thanks Luci.”

Lucifer sighs at the nickname but bends forward to press a kiss to your cheek. “Rest well, love. And don’t worry, you’re safe with us.”

.

.

.

“Hey, you have Advanced Potions next semester right? Wanna get matching cauldron kits?”

“…Are they Ruri-chan and Azuki-tan themed?”

“You are a true friend, my Henry!” Levi gleefully adds the aforementioned items to his cart. “I can’t wait! We have to be partners during the labs, and sit at the same bench, and share notes, and OMG! They even have matching goggle sets!”

“That’s one way to get you to show up at RAD,” you laugh, watching fondly as Levi clicks away with abandon. While he’s on a roll, you take some time to think about other things you might want to order for yourself.

Some days you still can’t believe how quickly Akuzon had started to stock items from the human world, with the range of products steadily increasing by the week. It’s a promising sign that Diavolo’s exchange program is bearing fruit, and Levi’s account has more or less become a joint one; he’s a lifetime member with exclusive discounts that would take centuries for you to rack up had you created your own from scratch. Although he has to pay additional taxes for inter-realm shipping, he lets you order anything you want and is effectively your go-to man whenever you need deliveries.

All of this at your fingertips without having to leave the comfort of the house? The least you could do in return is be lab partners with your favorite otaku.

.

.

.

The ambient chorus of meows and purrs is interrupted by sharp vibrations from an otherwise silent phone. Satan doesn’t take his eyes off the snoozing tabby on his lap as he plucks his D.D.D. from his jacket pocket. “Hello?”

From the other side of the play area, you see him stiffen. Is everything okay? You mouth at him.

His head whips towards you with what seems like fear in his eyes, and then he does something you never imagined he’d ever do:

He shakes the sleeping cat off and quickly walks out the door.

Now worried, you gently extricate yourself from the furry pile you’ve been lounging under and follow him.

“—call you back, now’s really not a good time… Thanks, Solomon.”

Satan hangs up a split second before you reach him. “Was that Sol? I haven’t heard from him in a while. Is he alright?”

“Yes, of course!” Satan hurries to assure you, plastering on a bright grin you know him well enough to tell is fake. “He was just asking about some rare books, but it’s nothing urgent.”

“You sure? If he’s in town, we can meet him along the way—”

“And let him interrupt our date? Not a chance.” He opens the door and practically manhandles you back inside. “Come on, we still have twenty minutes on the clock.”

You don’t remember the last time you spoke to Solomon, but it’d be nice to say hi and offer to catch up sometime. Maybe you can drop him a text later and arrange something. For now, your focus lies solely on the swarm of kitties begging for pets and skritches and an equally attention-hungry demon who sticks to your side like glue.

The rest of the day is spent on a cat cafe hopping spree. Satan pays for everything and demands compensation in the form of your company over dinner and a photo gallery overflowing with selfies and cats and stolen kisses.

By the time he escorts you to your room, you only have enough energy left for a quick shower before crawling into bed. You pass out the moment your head hits your pillow, and any thoughts of contacting Solomon slip your mind completely.

.

.

.

“Treasure, you gotta understand! The second I show my face up there, my ass is toast!”

“Lucifer says I can only go if you come with me, but I’m sure he’ll make an exception if I ask Asmo,” you threaten.

You don’t get homesick often (the Devildom has more or less become your second home after all), but on the rare occasions you do, it’s nothing a quick trip to the human world can’t remedy. Visiting family and friends, hanging out at old haunts… A good dose of nostalgia never fails to comfort you. If only you knew how to create the right portals…

Mammon looks genuinely regretful. “Listen, I just need some time, okay? After I deal with those witches, I’ll take you anywhere you want, I promise!”

You sigh, but you know you could never say no to your first man.

He must have spoken to his brothers, because after your conversation it seems like they all take turns to occupy you. Lucifer has errands he’s too busy to run, Levi embarks on the co-op mode of his current game, Satan discovers a new series of detective novels, Asmo needs a model for his upcoming fashion show, Beel wants a spotter for his latest workout routine, and Belphie can’t sleep on anything that’s not your lap.

The best part is? It actually works.

Spending time with your favorite demons is like a balm that soothes the itch in your soul, distracting you from the yearning that seeps into the cracks between your days and weighs you down. It works so well that eventually, the feeling fades away.

(Mammon never does settle his debts, but then again, when does he ever?)

.

.

.

Thirteen opens the door and freezes, her face as pale as a ghost.

“Hi.�� You flash her a smile and wave sheepishly. “Sorry to show up out of nowhere. I—”

She grabs your arm and yanks you inside. The door shuts and locks behind you.

“Uh, it’s good to see you too?” You let yourself be dragged along a dark corridor, not wanting to get between her and whatever mission she’s on. “I just— I was wondering if I could crash here for a bit. I just need some time to decompress without the brothers constantly breathing down my neck—”

“How did you get away?” Thirteen demands, her pace not faltering in the slightest. You still don’t know where she’s taking you.

“I walked out of the house? I mean, I’m not supposed to be outside on my own, so I snuck out.”

More like you stormed off, but she doesn’t need to know that. Past a certain point, distractions became annoyances, and the brothers’ attention turned into clinginess. It was like they had lost all understanding about the concept of personal time and space, so you decided to escape to the one place they would never think to go: the reaper’s cave.

Thirteen has her D.D.D. pressed to an ear now, speaking frantically. “Solomon! I was fucking right, you bastard! Get Raphael and— Hello? HELLO?! …Shit.”

That’s right, you remember wanting to give Solomon a call several weeks back. How did you forget? More importantly—

“Since when were you two on speaking terms?” You ask. “Also, I thought you didn’t like Raphael?”

“No time to explain, just trust me.” She leads you to a familiar room and stops, turning to face you with the most serious expression you’ve ever seen. “Wait here, and don’t you dare move from this spot! You’ll be safe, I promise.”

And then she’s gone.

Your gaze drifts over the massive cavern that glitters with an ocean of life candles, gravitating towards where you know yours and the brothers’ are. All of theirs are standing strong, as expected, and yours…

It could be your imagination, but the light from your candle has an unnatural gleam to it. The flame is slightly off-shade compared to the rest and flickers erratically. Even the wax seems as though it has melted and rehardened again and again, its misshapen structure somewhat crooked—

Somebody grabs your shoulders and spins you around. You gasp, the looming shadows surrounding you preventing you from seeing their face clearly. All you can make out are a pair of peach-colored eyes and the eerie pink glow to them…

.

.

.

You feel the headache pounding in your skull even before opening your eyes. Groaning weakly, you hear someone pouring something before smooth, lotion-scented fingers stroke at your cheeks.

“Oh darling, are you awake?”

Asmo’s worried face is the first thing you see, hovering over you. You’re in your room, tucked snugly in your bed, and your throat is absolutely parched.

“I’m so sorry, I should have kept a better eye on you,” Asmo says, helping you sit up and handing you two hangover tablets with a tall glass of water. He holds it steady as you take small sips and waits patiently for you to finish the whole thing. “Silly me, I keep forgetting humans can’t ingest too much alcohol in one sitting without hydrating.”

“…Did we go out last night?”

“We were at The Fall, celebrating my latest cover from Majolish!” Asmo sets the glass down and presses the back of his hand against your forehead. “Are you feeling alright? Any headaches?”

The memories are a blur. You’ve always been a responsible drinker, and you’ve never passed out at a club before. Perhaps you had gotten careless; Diavolo recently started importing Demonus with actual alcohol in them, but you had gotten too used to being unaffected by copious amounts of the liquor.

Asmo takes your silence as affirmative. He pours you more water and helps you down it as well, cooing words of comfort and praise in your ear. As he holds the glass to your lips, your eyes are drawn to the fresh coat of paint on his nails.

Noticing your stare, the demon grins widely. “How about a spa day to make up for it? I can start with a manicure while you stay in bed~”

“Sounds good. You’re the best, Asmo.”

His eyes twinkle like rose diamonds in the night sky.

.

.

.

Beel spending hours in the kitchen is an everyday occurrence. But him cooking a special meal just for someone? Not so much.

“Aww, thank you Beel! You really didn’t have to.” The moment he sets the steaming bowl of soup down, you give him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“It’s an apology on behalf of my brothers,” he explains, pulling out your chair for you. “We knew you were feeling homesick lately but we still crowded you for attention. We’re sorry, we should have listened to you instead.”

Everyone at the dinner table nods in agreement, perfectly content to let the Avatar of Gluttony do the talking. Those silly demons… You can’t find it in yourself to hold a grudge against them.

“Apology accepted. This is such a big bowl though, do you want to share?” You offer him your spoon, but he gently pushes it back.

“It’s for you,” Beel insists, patting your head fondly. “I hope you’ll enjoy it.”

The soup is delicious, and the fact that there’s not a trace of jealousy on his brothers’ faces is a testament to how much they’ve matured.

You finish every last drop with relish.

.

.

.

You’re dreaming again.

It’s like you’re a spectator and a participant all at once; the world is fuzzy at the edges and you can’t hear clearly, but your body moves like an actor following a well-rehearsed script.

Someone leads you to a chair. You sit down. There’s a table with a whole cake in front of you. It’s bright outside. You can’t see their faces, but you know you’re surrounded by your family and friends. It feels like forever since you last held them.

One by one, they step forward to add a small candle to your cake. The people keep coming, they don’t stop, and soon enough you can’t even see the top layer of icing anymore. The flames seem to dance in place, slowly merging into a single entity…

The cake turns into your life candle. It stands tall and proud, unwavering, undying, and you watch as your hands reach out to grab at the wax, twisting and straining to break it in half. You think you hear a faint crack, and then—

Belphie looms over you, adjusting the towel on your forehead. He smiles when he notices that you’re awake. “Hey. Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.”

You let him fuss over you, wiping away the excess water and tucking you back in. “W’time ‘sit…”

“A little past midnight. You went into a food coma after dinner, so Beel carried you to bed. I wanted to cuddle with you but you seemed a little feverish. Lucifer said a cold towel might help.”

“It does, I feel much better already.” Your heart warms at the thoughtful gesture. Belphie may be a lazy brat but he’s always got your back. “Cuddle now?”

“Anything for you.” He slides under the covers and makes himself comfortable, careful not to jostle you too much in the process. “Sleep. I’ll make sure you only have good dreams.”

And he does. You dream of a fancy ball at Diavolo’s castle, dressed to the nines and taking turns to dance with the brothers.

When you wake up in the morning, you’ve never felt more rested.

.

.

.

“It’s a little funny, now that I think about it,” you muse, pausing at the doorway while waiting for your housemates to catch up. “Normally humans can’t wait to get out of school, but if they get damned then they end up back there.”

Lucifer raises an eyebrow. “Is there anything you want to highlight about our curriculum?”

You laugh and shake your head. “I’m just picturing telling kids to study hard or they might just end up studying for the rest of their afterlives. Not being able to graduate is like a special brand of hell.”

It’s the first day of the new semester. Lucifer ushers you and his brothers out the door, strict as ever about punctuality. “Not hell, this is the Devildom.”

“I know, I know—”

“And it wouldn’t be home without you.” He smiles, taking your hand in his and holding it all the way to RAD.

[angstyx]

Valentine's Day

CC!Wilbur Soot x Reader

Word Count: 910+ words

Summary: You and Wilbur go on a fake date and you enjoy it a lot... well a little too much to the point that you wished it was actually real. Little did you know that your best friend was thinking the exact same thing.

Prompt [by @/novelbear]: A and B are known to be extremely touchy with eachother, a little closer than usual "best friends" are considered to be. They decide to put this behavior and reputation into good use, pretending to be a couple on Valentine's Day to get a discounted meal at a local restaurant. It's then that A realizes that this "date" was a little too enjoyable, and B is surprised when A asks them to go out again: this time for real.

TW: none that I know of

Requested?: [Yes] [No]

Note: this is quite a long fic but i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it! :)

also wilbur is kinda ooc? idk

Masterlist // Rules for Requesting

───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" You raise an eyebrow at your best friend. Wilbur laughs as he practically drags you to this local restaurant. "Of course Y/n! Cmon all we have to do is pretend to be together and boom!" You roll your eyes at his childishness. "We get a discount."

"You're making this sound way easier than it is, Wil." He turns to you. "Cause it is easy. What? Do you think it's impossible for us to act all lovey dovey with each other? Even our friends think we're together from how much we flirt with each other, Y/n."

Though the idea of faking a relationship with your best friend just to get a discounted meal on Valentine's Day seemed a little extreme, you couldn't help but say yes when he told you the idea in the first place.

And so there you two were: in front of a local restaurant, all dressed up, and ready to fake being each other's significant other. Sounds easy right? That's what Wilbur thought.

What he didn't know was that your stomach was flooded with butterflies or how the reason that your face was red was rather that you were blushing, not because of the cold. He didn't know you liked him.

"Ready babe?" He said jokingly and you laugh. "Of course, love." You lace your fingers with Wilbur and proceed to walk in, too oblivious to notice him blushing at your act.

A staff member greets the two of you and asks if it was only you two to which Wilbur nods. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and brings you closer to him.

"Just me and my significant other who I adore so much." Doing your best to hold in a laugh, you smile at the staff member and they nod. "Right this way then."

The restaurant was quite nice and it was rather crowded as well. Looking around, you notice that most of the people here seemed like they were on dates. The staff member leads you and Wilbur to a table of two and tells you a waiter would arrive shortly.

Once the staff left, Wilbur lets out an impressed whistle as he looks around. "This is better than I thought." You nod in agreement, though you suddenly remember the act Wilbur put on a few minutes ago.

"Did you really have to put on a show back there?" Wilbur smirks at you. "Of course! How were they supposed to know that we were together." You deadpan. "Well I don't know, maybe it was because we were holding hands when we walked in?"

Your best friend shrugs. "Still, I wanted to show off my amazing significant other to everyone." You feel your face warm up. "And besides, I'm sure you liked it."

You scoff in disbelief as Wilbur lets out a laugh. "I'm joking!" A smile breaks out on you two's faces as you ignore the butterflies in your stomach. Little did you know that Wilbur was facing the same problem.

Soon enough, a waiter arrives at your table and takes you and Wilbur's orders. The dinner went surprisingly well (you kinda expected Wilbur to do something stupid) and with a smile on your face, the two of you left the restaurant after paying.

You feel Wilbur carefully hold your hand and you turn away, not wanting to show him your red face.

"I had fun today Y/n." You turn your attention to your boyf- best friend who smiles at you. You smile back. "Me too. Honestly, your idea wasn't as bad as I thought."

Wilbur rolls his eyes at your statement. "Of course, it wasn't bad! All my ideas are awesome." You snort at his remark. "Yeah right. Remember when you wanted to add glitter all over Tommy's gaming chair when we came over to his place?" "Like I said, all my ideas are awesome." You can't help but laugh.

Finally, you reach your apartment. Cars honk and pass by as you open it with your keys and you turn around to smile at Wilbur, one that makes butterflies flutter in his stomach. "I had fun today, Wilbur."

You see him fidget and you had a feeling he wanted to say something but was thinking of whether or not to do so. You sigh in frustration, curious to know what he wanted to say.

"Wil, I feel like you want to say something to me." You say bluntly. Taken aback, he looks at you with confusion in his eyes and you were about to smack yourself in the head and apologize but he spoke first.

"Actually yeah. I-I... do have something to tell you." You've never seen him this nervous before. He was playing with his fingers and avoiding your eye contact as you stood facing him. "I had fun today as well and well.. uh." You raise an eyebrow at him. "Would you want to go on a date with me?" You were about to jokingly say yes but he cuts you off. "A real one. Not a fake date like today but I-I'll actually like to take you out sometime..." You could barely hear him towards the end due to how quiet he's become but you heard enough to know what he was saying.

With a red face, butterflies in your stomach, and a smile on your face. you nod. "Of course, Wilbur. I'll love to go on a date with you."

───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────

taglist: @thenotsohottopic @0-0littlem0-0 @bi-narystars @707xn @sakurapartridge @ryxjxnnx @boiciph3r @nightwalkercrescent @missusstark @multifandomgirl-us @sophia902103 @sunnyxlove @marrymetheonott @voidgonemissing @ttakinou @chaoticotaku @joyfullymulti @aphroditesgarden @sxltedcxramel @dawnfallx @blushingduckling @blueberrystigma @youngstarfishdinosaur @poookii @beepbopbee @sirsleeps @dazedgxth @wrenqueenisboss @saturnhas82moons @itsonlydana @bluvclouds @comonlokbut2 @lacunaanonymoused @sirsleeps @toodeepintofandoms @luluwinchester @pixviepie @buckyswhxre @jadecameron69420 @isaac-foster-my-beloved @sarahwasfound @dukina

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[newronantic]

HAIKYUU!! FICS

so this is mostly gonna be for myself to keep track of my favorite fics i’ve read, but hey if anyone else wants to check some of these out then thats great

MHA one is up!!

ill keep updating this as i read more, feel free to send me suggestions!

KageHina

plain as day - emleewrites

In which Hinata has spent the better part of the last twenty years putting his heart and soul into volleyball, hoping to be recognised, to be noticed. And yet he spends all these years also thinking of himself as rather plain, beyond his lack of height and bright hair, and not really noticeable at all.

In Transit - Mysecretfanmoments

Hinata finds that he likes standing close to Kageyama on buses and trains. It doesn't mean anything--probably. Maybe.

I like the way your clothes smell - Mysecretfanmoments

Power outages, ghost stories, and the presence of a certain orange-haired boy lead to bad decision-making on Tobio's part. He'd planned to keep his crush a secret; the universe has other plans.

Chaotic Neutral - akaraka

Who's this Kageyama person on twitter and is he gay?

1: Anonymous: see title

2: Anonymous: curry king

3: Anonymous >> 1: It's the curry king, obviously. Have you been using his memes this whole time without knowing who he was?

4: Anonymous: 1) Hinata Shouyou's boyfriend 2) See above

jellyfish - mysterytwin

At the beginning of his last year at Karasuno High School, Hinata Shouyou starts a list and calls it THINGS TO DO BEFORE GRADUATION, all with high hopes that he’ll be able to complete it before his time runs out.

TsukkiYama

Try This On For Size - CloudMonsta

A lot changed for Yamaguchi Tadashi over the course of high school. He started trying on dresses, for one.

The Great Yamaguchi-Tsukishima Split (Capitalization Necessary) - WyYeuw

"But no, the current situation isn’t normal. This situation requires the full attention of the team.

No, what’s really concerning this time around, is that Yamaguchi is the one ignoring Tsukishima.”

Yamaguchi confesses. Tsukishima fucks up—like, really fucks up. The volleyball club notices and loses a week’s worth of practice.

IwaOi

Terrarium - sausaged

He's practically a professional at being proactive (lies, lies, and lies when it comes to Iwaizumi).

At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?

Can he really tag his Instagram photos with #YOLO if he doesn't actually put that phrase into practice?

A story about Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, plants, and rocks.

They Say it Rain Diamonds on Jupiter - exsao

"You're in love with him."

Hajime considers denying it. He considers deliberately choking on his drink to express surprise, to create a distraction by spitting onto the man in front of him's pristine white shirt and causing a commotion. Instead, he swallows his mouthful of soda and heaves a small sigh once his mouth is free.

"Yeah," he says instead.

He's never been good at lying, anyway.

bait and switch - Stylographic_Blue_Rhapsody

Oikawa's university volleyball team knows he's in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school. They imagine a sweet-faced girl that matches his sarcasm with patience. They are so incredibly wrong.

my heart is where it’s always been - foreverautumn

Iwaizumi places his phone down carefully.

Oikawa. Pining after someone. There’s no way.

(Iwaizumi knows he shouldn’t care who Oikawa might have feelings for, but within the span of three days, it’s somehow the only thing he can think about.)

KuroKen

Beautiful People Will Ruin Your Life - todxrxki

Kuroo Tetsurou runs a private Twitter account where he's constantly tweeting about how desperately in love he is with Kozume Kenma. Little does he know that Kenma sees all the tweets and keeps referencing the account in an attempt to get Kuroo to confess to him. / Or, five times Kuroo didn't notice Kenma hinting about his private Twitter account, and one time he finally did.

the things that get caught in the valves of his heart - ghostpot

Emotional competency is not exactly Kuroo's strong suit. Kenma finds it quite amusing.

Accidentally In Love - todxrxki

Kuroo frowns, but then slowly, the corners of his mouth lift up into a smirk. "Well, if it's so unbelievable, why don't we give it a try?"

Kenma glances up at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Let's do the 36 questions to fall in love," Kuroo says, still smirking stupidly. "If we don't fall in love, then you're right, it's bullshit. But if we do somehow..." Kuroo waggles his eyebrows. "Then I win." / Kuroo decides he and Kenma should do the 36 questions to fall in love as a joke, but they both start to realize they might actually be in love already.

the galaxy is endless (i thought we were, too) - cosmogony

TW: major character death

Kuroken AU where the last words your soulmate will say to you appear on your skin when you turn 16, and how Kenma and Kuroo learn what this means over the course of their lives

even if you’re ahead for a bit, i will catch up - ghostpot

Kuroo first confesses when they're sticky-fingered, wide-eyed kids, and subsequently every day after that. Kenma takes a while to come around.

you’re the brake lines failing (as my car swerves off the freeway) - ghostpot

Kenma thinks that Kuroo looks ugly with his head bent against the arm of the couch like that. Then Kenma thinks that he wants to marry him, and is promptly thrown into the 5 stages of grief.

teach me the way home - icespyders

“Don’t go far off, not even for a day, because —

because — I don’t know how to say it: a day is long

and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station

when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.”

Kuroo and Kenma grow up in transit.

in this universe - crossbelladonna

Living with Kuroo is sometimes, just like this. It always feels surreal like he's living half a world and a lot of things rush by too quickly. Kenma feels like he'd watched him come and go in a blink, eyes wide and wordless as the shared space went snug in an instant and far larger in the next.

All this, and a glass of water.

Beginning’s End - todxrxki

Somehow over the course of Kenma's lifetime, he’s never really had an opportunity to miss Kuroo. He’s always been there. Even when they went to different schools, Kuroo would meet him afterwards so they could walk home together, shoulders brushing, Kuroo occasionally taking the opportunity to guide him when his nose was buried in the newest video game. The thought of Kuroo not being there anymore is uncomfortable, to say the least. / Kozume Kenma's third year and the changes the year brings in himself and his relationship with Kuroo Tetsurou.

All I Want for Christmas is You - todxrxki

“Kuro,” he says. “You’re a single guy.”

“Yeah, great, thanks for pointing that out.”

“And my parents already know you, plus they already know you like guys or whatever so… what if you pretended to be my date for Christmas dinner?” / In which Kenma recruits his housemate and best friend Kuroo to be his fake date for Christmas.

BokuAka

just to miss the sun - rosevtea

Everything begins to implode when MSBY Jackals outside hitter Bokuto Koutarou crashes Akaashi's livestream.

Operation BokuAka - kazzydolyn

After spending two whole years watching Bokuto and Akaashi pine for one another, the rest of the Fukuroudani Volleyball Club has had enough. When everyone meets up for a reunion dinner, the team decides to play matchmaker and finally get the two of them together. Unfortunately, their plan starts to fall apart when they discover that Akaashi is already dating someone. And apparently so is Bokuto. What a strange coincidence.

bitter - silvercistern

He accepted his classmate's chocolates gracefully, then declared his lack of interest with as much dignity as he could muster. She deserved the courtesy. At least she'd acknowledged that Valentine's Day was all about her, and not about him in the slightest.

Because if any of these girls had taken the time to actually get to know him, they’d quickly realize something even more important than his lack of interest in girls.

And that was that Akaashi hated sweets.

In Another Life - LittleLuxray

TW: major character death

Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too.

The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write.

120% yes - pissedofsandwich

TOKYO FRANCHISE COMING SOON @OnigiriMiya

in reply to @bokkun_official 

Congratulations! In celebration of your historic engagement, please DM us so we can send you a free membership code with a 25% discount on every fourth purchase!

Kissing Ace - karasunovolleygays

It happens right after training camp.

Akaashi Keiji has a secret he has guarded since he was a child. He won’t go so far as to call it a fear, but more of an aspect of himself of which he is horribly mortified. No one on the team knows about it, and Akaashi does his best to keep it that way.

But years of dodging hugs and casual contact come to naught in the blink of an eye and the swipe of a hand.

daisy rings and frivolous things (i am deliriously in love with you) - gabstar

Akaashi Keiji is in love. Bokuto Koutarou is a star. Everyone on Fukurodani has a gambling problem.

SakuAtsu

The MSBY Black Jackals Read Thirst Tweets - isaksara (syailendra)

Sakusa’s eyes are very dark naturally, sucking in all surrounding rays of light and crushing them in his pupils. For an athlete, he is rather pale. His lips look very pink in comparison. Atsumu is suddenly catastrophically aware that in this instance, ‘accent’ is a euphemism. “Good enough for your Olympic-size ego, Miya?”

(In which Atsumu realizes that he is attracted to Sakusa Kiyoomi in the most inconvenient way possible.)

A Liar’s Truth - internetpistol

In which Sakusa Kiyoomi is raised to believe that gay people go to hell but then takes one look at Miya Atsumu and thinks, then why the hell did God make them so fucking hot?

[aribeez]

Dandelion

pt two to beautiful

pairing: thoma x fem!reader

theme(s): SFW, fake dating, angst, happy ending

tags: mentions/appearances from ayato and ayaka

notes: i kinda imagine akaya and ayato having a relationship similar of yuki and his older brother from fruits basket cjnwfknk but if i end up being wrong idc it's canon in my head

✧

The stem of the dandelion Thoma gave you is the first thing you see every morning. You set it on your nightstand so you can start your day in a good mood.

You haven't seen Thoma since that night, partially because you both are very busy people, and partially because you're not sure how to talk to him anymore. Things were easy when you hated him, but you aren't so sure you hate him anymore...

Dare you say, you like him?

Ignoring your feelings, you start your day off as normal, by opening your shop. You unlock the register, counting your money as you usually do, and restock your items so you were ready for the day.

Anticipating a busy day, since it was a Friday, you made sure there were no distractions. That means no thoughts of Thoma taking your hand, or thoughts of Thoma gazing at your with such admiration, or thoughts of Thoma risking his job just for you, no. No thoughts what-so-ever.

Inazuma City starts to pile with people as the day went on, some people even gushing over how cute you and Thoma are. It was usually older ladies, and since this wasn't the largest town, word got around fast.

A guilty pit in your stomach resided every time someone brought the two of you up. You smiled and laughed with the older ladies, but deep down, you felt awful. Though you weren't sure if it was because you knew the relationship wasn't real, or because Thoma didn't actually like you. You knew the sham was just to get Kamisato Ayato off his back. Thoma was just using you, as you were him.

You couldn't be mad. It was your idea.

"Hey there!" A familiar chirpy voice rang through your ears, causing you to freeze up.

"T-Thoma?!" You stare dumbfounded at him. You haven't mentally prepared to see him today, and his schedule is usually packed on Fridays.

"Well hello too." He chuckles, leaning on the register. "I'm actually here on business, believe it or not."

You gulp nervously, mentally punching yourself for acting so weird in front of him. "Business you say? Are the Kamisatos requesting something from my shop?"

He nods in response. "Yes, but don't worry, I won't haggle you down this time."

"What? Because you're my 'boyfriend'?" You tease.

"Precisely." He smiles, winking at you.

You usually never succumbed to Thoma's teasing, but recently, it's been harder to keep a straight face. You felt your cheeks burn as he said that to you.

"Well, as your partner, I would feel bad giving this full price."

"Oh come on, Y/N." Thoma lowers his voice so only you could hear it. "You don't actually have to do that for me."

You shake your head. "Yes I do. If not as a partner, then as my... Friend?" You felt stupid to be wary of calling Thoma your friend, but you really didn't know if he saw you as anything more than a pawn in his plan.

You see his cheeks lightly dust pink from blushing. Flustered, he smiles at you. "Of course we're friends."

You feel your heart jump. "Then it's settled." Smiling, you gather everything Thoma needed, dropping the price down 80 percent.

"W-Woah." Thoma stutters, eyes widening at the low price. "I said you can give me a discount, this feels like I'm stealing from you."

"Nonsense." You wave him off. "It's fine. I really don't mind."

Thoma sighs, knowing he can't win this battle, and hands you the money. "You really, really didn't have to do that."

"I know." You say, placing the money in the register. "But... You've helped me a lot. With my mom. So it's the least I could do."

"Oh! That reminds me. Tomorrow is the dinner, you didn't forget, did you?"

You tried not to show the panic in your face, because you did indeed forget. "O-Of course not." You stuttered, trying not to cause Thoma any anxiety. "I remembered! It's at 5, right?"

He nods. "Yup. It's kind of a big deal, do you need help picking out an outfit? I do it for Lady Ayaka quite often."

Thinking of the your wardrobe, you really didn't have many nice outfits, but you would simply rather pass away than have Thoma see you trying clothes on.

"I got something." You lied. You really had to go shopping. "Trust me, it's perfect."

"If you say so." He grabs the items he just purchased from you. "Well thank you, again. See you tomorrow?"

You nod. "Of course. See you tomorrow, Thoma."

-

After a miserable shopping experience with your mother, you took matters into your own hands and picked out an outfit yourself. It was black and trimmed with lace and silver. You exuded a darker energy, very opposite of Thoma, and this dress felt like it truly belonged to you.

Your mother, though the devil at times, saw your anxiety about the dinner you were attending tonight, and insisted she took over the shop. You were grateful for that, because you weren't sure how you could get ready and also run the shop.

Arriving at the estate, you were met with only Ayaka. "Oh, Y/N! Right on time." She smiles at you warmly. "Please, have a seat in the dining room with me. I'm sure Thoma and my brother will be here shortly."

After spending many days in the estate, you didn't feel as out of place, but knowing you were about to meet the head of a very powerful clan, you couldn't help but shake a little.

"Might I say you look beautiful." Ayaka says, eyeing your outfit. "You are always quite pretty, but this... I can see why Thoma likes you so much."

You blush feverishly at her words, almost instinctively covering yourself up. You're not used to praise. "T-Thank you." You stutter, smiling at the ground. "It's nothing really..."

"Oh, hush. You're gorgeous. And please, don't be nervous, especially for my brother." You see her slightly roll her eyes. "He can be a lot, but surely, he is not someone you should be nervous about meeting. To put it simply, he's weird."

You giggle at how informal Ayaka can get talking about Ayato. It seems he really gets on her nerves, which is not surprising at all. As powerful as he might be, older brothers will be older brothers.

Ayaka motions for you to sit at the little table. Knowing you were nervous, she sat you across from Ayato rather than next to him. "You can sit next to Thoma and I, I know it'll make you less nervous."

You were grateful Ayaka understood your anxieties. She truly was a kind person.

"So, Y/N, have you ever seen my brother in person?"

You shake your head, a little embarrassed. "I can't say I even know what he looks like." You admit.

Ayaka giggles. "I expected as much. Both he and I do not get out in public much, though him a bit more than I." She smooths her skirt out. "Sometimes he likes to go to this boba tea place in Inazuma City. I tell him he's wasting time, and that he is already late for whatever meeting he should be attending, but he claims the tea 'calms his nerves'."

Now you're the one laughing. The more you hear about Ayato, the more intrigued you are to meet such a character. "Sounds like quite the personality."

"You have no idea." Ayaka groans.

"Sorry I'm late!" Thoma quickly walks in, out of his usual attire. His eyes make his way to you. "Woah." Was all he could muster, staring at you with longing eyes.

"See!" Ayaka turns back at you. "Look, you stunned Thoma with your beauty."

Your face must look like a tomato by now! "I uhh..." Thoma also looked quite good. He was in a much more formal outfit, and you also could not form the right words.

Both of you were at a complete standstill.

"Thoma! Tell her she looks beautiful!" Ayaka snaps.

He clears his throat, his entrancing thoughts interrupted. "S-Sorry. I was just... Caught off guard." He walks up to you, taking your hand and gently placing a kiss atop it. "You look extremely beautiful, Y/N."

You wanted to puke.

You swallow nervously. "Y-You look good too." You say quietly, both of you now blushing profusely.

Thoma made his way to sit seat right next to you, as you wait for Ayato.

"Where is that man?" Thoma groans, looking at the empty plate in front of him. "I'm hungry."

The sound of footsteps brought everyone to a halt, as your eyes were met with a sea of pale blue looking right back at you. You freeze.

This was Ayato?

His soft facial features contrasted that of a mischievous grin he seemed to sport on his face. His blue hair fell seemingly perfect, just over his eyes. He looks unreal. You gulp nervously.

He seems to be having the same reaction, as his eyes have not left your frame.

"Lord Ayato, very nice to see you." Thoma starts, finding it a little off Ayato hasn't sat down yet. "How was your trip?"

Clearing his throat, Ayato pulls his chair out. "The trip was satisfactory. We landed a great deal." He states, sitting down. "However..." He looks back at you. "I don't believe we are here to talk business..."

You didn't seem to understand your feeling at this moment. Here sat the head of a system you hated, yet you couldn't seem to take your eyes off him. He was graceful yet a little mysterious.

Thoma notices your shift in vibe and shuffles uncomfortably in his seat. "Y-Yes, of course. This is Y/N, my girlfriend."

You lightly gasp at the word.

Girlfriend.

No man has ever called you that.

Trying to look as unphased as possible, you only nod at Ayato in response. "Yes, hello Lord Kamisato Ayato, pleasure to meet you." You bow your head down slowly.

"Please, no need to be so formal." Ayato says.

You keep your hands in your lap as you try not to show all the hormones raging inside you right now. Between Thoma calling you his girlfriend (albeit fake), and Ayato eyeing you down, you swear you're going to explode.

"So, Y/N, beautiful name. Tell me, what do you do?"

You blush at Ayato's compliment. "Thank you. I run a small shop in Inazuma City."

"Impressive." Ayato smiles. "It's not easy running your own store. Tell me about it."

You couldn't believe how easy it was to talk to Ayato. He was smart, funny, and honestly? A little weird. But you didn't mind. You were scared he was going to be like an all perfect commissioner robot, but seeing him so carefree... It made you actually not hate him.

"And then, Itto lost again! So I took his Onikabuto and he was only left with one more!" Ayato laughs.

You laugh along, absolutely engrossed in every story he told. You almost forgot the reason you were there.

As you and Ayato were laughing it up talking about Onikabuto fights and hot pot games gone wrong, Ayaka peeks a glance at thoma, who has barely said three words.

"Thoma?" Ayaka nudges him quietly. "Are you okay?"

Thoma widens his eyes, realizing he had been sulking. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?" He let out a weak smile.

Ayaka frowns. "I suspect this is not going the way you planned for it to go."

Thoma only looks at you as you laugh along with his boss. He feels his heart physically drop seeing you so happy with another man. He knew this relationship wasn't real, though. How could he be mad?

If anything, he was more sad. Sad it took jealousy to realize what he wanted all along.

You and Ayato finally calmed down with the laughter as you both wiped tears away from your eyes. "I must say, commissioner. I have not laughed like that in quite some time." You smile.

"As I. I believe the last time I cried laughing is when Thoma and I played our last hot pot game many months ago."

Thoma.

You forgot. You were here to be a good girlfriend to Thoma.

You awkwardly laugh as you looked down at your plate. How could you be so stupid?

But at the same time, you couldn't deny the chemistry between you and Ayato. Even if it was just one conversation. It's not like Thoma even likes you anyways. Was there any harm in looking at other potential suitors if the one you want doesn't want you?

"It is quite late. Shall I get a guard to walk you home, Y/N? Or of course, you could stay here the night-"

"No." Thoma interrupted, causing all heads to turn to him. Beat red, he clears his throat. "I-I mean, I will walk her home. Do not worry the guards, Lord Ayato."

"Very well." Ayato looks back at you. "It was very, very nice to meet you, Y/N." He gently grabs your hand, kissing the top of it. You felt the heat from your cheeks burn even brighter. "You are quite the gem."

You smile shyly. "You as well, Lord Ayato."

With one final bow, Ayato left the dining room. Dazed and confused, you didn't know what to think anymore.

After saying goodbye to Ayaka, Thoma and you head back to your house. "You really didn't need to come with me." You say, looking over at the piercing black sky. "It's really dark."

"Well... I wanted to talk to you." Thoma's voice sounded off. You look at him, puzzled.

"Talk? Did I mess something up?" You were scared. you didn't think anything had gone wrong, yet looking back, Thoma barely spoke during the entire dinner.

"No, nothing like that. I... Wanted to know what you thought about Ayato."

You lightly blush. What you thought about him? You weren't sure yourself. "Well, he's funny. I assumed he'd be a prude, in all honesty, but I appreciated his humor." Thoma stayed silent, which worried you even further. "Thoma? Is something the matter?"

"Hm?" He looks at you. "I just... You seemed to really like him, is all." He laughs awkwardly.

"Thoma." You frown. You spent a great deal of time with him to know something was off. "Please, be honest with me. What did I do?"

"Nothing." Was all he said. "You didn't do anything wrong."

You didn't want to pry any further, so you stray away to another topic of conversation. "So... Did it seem like Ayato liked me?" You were nervous to ask the question, but it's not like Thoma was really your boyfriend, as sad as that made you.

Thoma literally stops in his tracks, causing you to stumble a little. "If Ayato likes you?" It seems as if all of Thoma's fears were accurate. He knew you wouldn't ask unless you cared. Seeing how you guys acted together, he should have known, but living in blissful ignorance seemed like a better option. "Of course he did." Thoma sighs. "Who wouldn't like you?"

If you weren't going to be with him, the least he could do was hope you were happy with someone else.

"Really?" You sounded a bit more hopeful than Thoma wanted you to.

He nods. "Really."

"It's strange... But I didn't think I would like him as much as I do."

Thoma wanted to cry. He never believed that you would make him so emotional. "Well? What are you going to do about it?" Sure, he was scared of you leaving him, but it was inevitable.

"I... I don't know." You admit. "I mean, we're still... 'together', plus I don't even think he would go for me..."

"Don't say that." Thoma said sternly, looking right at you. You stop walking, confusion arising on your face.

"Huh?" You say quietly.

"Anyone would be really, really lucky to be with you, Y/N. Trust me." Thoma wasn't laughing, nor being sarcastic in anyway. He was dead serious. "If you think Ayato would make you happy... We can stage a break up if you want. But..." It felt against his nature to say all these things to you, as if the universe was screaming at him to stop, but he couldn't. He wants so desperately for you to be happy, and who better to make you happy than the head commissioner?

After all, Thoma was only a housekeeper.

"But what?" You breathe out. Was this what you think it was?

Thoma looks away, grateful you couldn't see the feverish blush on his face due to the pitch black sky. "Nothing. Never mind. This was never meant to be permanent. We both got what we wanted..."

"Thoma..." You started. "I-I don't want to say something wrong, but I need to ask you something..."

The only thing you could see in the night sky were his sad, green eyes, staring at you with such anxiety. "Yes?"

You gulp nervously. You felt like such a child asking the question, but you had to know. "Do you like me?"

"Define... What you mean."

"I mean... Do you want this relationship to be real?" Silence from both ends. You take Thoma's hands gently, resulting in a light gasp on his end. "Do you?"

Thoma slowly starts to nod, gripping your hands a little harder, like he never wants to let you go. "I... I think I'm falling in love with you." he whispers.

What?! That is not what you expected. You feel your lip tremble as you let the words melt into you. "You do?" You whisper.

Love? He loves you?

Thoma's eyes were now glossy with tears. "I know this wasn't part of the plan, I-I'm sorry. I know you probably don't feel the same. I know you took a great liking to Ayato. I saw the way you smiled with him. Laughed with him. You two... Would be good together."

"Don't apologize." You were crying now. "I just-"

"You don't need to explain yourself." He interrupted. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have caught feelings-"

"Thoma." You say a little too sternly, causing him to shut up.

He was almost too scared to answer. "Yes?"

Were you really about to do this? The last few days all you wanted was for this relationship to be real, and now you couldn't even speak properly! When words fail, what else is there to do?

You quickly close your eyes and push your head up, crashing your lips into his.

Stunned, he widens his eyes at the sudden affection. Slowly, he starts to move in rhythm with you, closing his eyes and bringing a hand behind your head to kiss you deeper.

You wrap your arms around his neck as he licks the bottom of your lip, the kiss deepening even more.

After what felt like ages, you part, your arms still around him. "I'm sorry..." You breathe out, embarrassed. "I-I didn't know what to do, so I..."

Thoma only smiles in response, gently grabbing your thighs and lifting you up. You gasp as you were now above Thoma. "Do it again. Please." Thoma begs.

You let out a light chuckle as you kiss him again, a little less messy this time. You felt every part of him connect with you.

"I'm falling in love with you, too." You mutter into his lips.

You feel him smile. "So... No Ayato?"

You giggle. "Yes, he's handsome. But to put it simply... He's not you. I want you."

That was all it took to make your fake relationship, a real one.

As you kissed under the moon, a small dandelion sprouts just under the two of you.

Where did it come from? Who knows.

Thoma tucks your hair behind your ear, staring into your eyes.

"You're so beautiful, my dandelion."

i was gonna make this so much longer, but this isn't supposed to be a like huge fic or anything. i wanted a part where you actually date ayato but like end up with thoma. maybe next i'll have to make an ayato x reader fic to indulge in my ayato obsession... but anyways. i love thoma. forever and always. hope you enjoyed!

[qqueenofhades]

20+ Books That You (Might Actually Want) To Read During Pride Month!

Right, so. I got annoyed after seeing the list referenced in this post last night, told myself that my books are all packed up so I couldn’t do anything about it, and lasted all of a whopping 10 minutes before picking up my phone and attempting to make my own list instead. Behold, my from-memory attempt to present 20 books with strong LGBTQ plots, characters, and/or authors, that DON’T just rely on Suffering and Identity Politics and are... you know... fun.

Listed in alphabetical order by title. Links take you to Bookshop.org, where you can buy them from your local independent bookstore at a discount and NOT from the evil empire.

1. A Master of Djinn – P. Djeli Clark * author of color * steampunk Cairo in 1912 * djinn! magic! murder mystery! * butch Arab lesbian main character * devout hijabi Muslim badass assistant * anticolonial alternate history

2. An Accident of Stars – Foz Meadows (Sequel: A Tyranny of Queens) * trans author * bi, pan, trans, aro representation * racially diverse characters * all female POV characters * high-fantasy world adventures

3. Boyfriend Material – Alexis Hall * queer author * look I love this book SO MUCH and have absolutely screamed about it before but also I LOVE IT SO MUCH * contemporary M/M fake dating in modern London, complete with full cast of disaster found-family queer friends * it is. fucking. HILARIOUS. I almost died the first time reading it * there is a sequel called HUSBAND MATERIAL scheduled to be released in 2022; I am a normal amount of excited for this book

4. Gideon the Ninth – Tamsyn Muir (Sequel: Harrow the Ninth) * the book cover says “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted palace in space!” * that is exactly what you get * slow-burn enemies-to-lovers F/F main romance * I cannot describe this book, it is dark, genre-bendy, science fiction-y, Hunger-Games-with-lesbian-necromancers-in space? Kinda? I have literally never read anything like it * also fucking HILARIOUS

5. One Last Stop – Casey McQuiston * queer author (who wrote Red White and Royal Blue) * bisexual fat girl from the South/lesbian-daughter-of-Chinese immigrants from the 1970s-riot-grrl main romance * time traveling mystery involving the Q train in Brooklyn (mentions Brighton Beach ahem) * magical realism * many more found-family chaotic queers including a trans Latino psychic and a Black accountant by day/drag queen by night and the mean little gay disaster who has a hopeless crush on them

6. Parasol Protectorate (series) – Gail Carriger * this is one of my favorite series, and there are five books: Soulless, Changeless, Blameless, Heartless, and Timeless * steampunk vampires/werewolves late Victorian London, like Jane Austen crossed with P.G. Wodehouse (they are all fucking hilarious) * pretty much everyone is queer; we got your flamboyantly camp gay vampires (Lord Akeldama ftw!) We got your gay werewolves! We got your lesbian French inventors! We got your big disaster idiot werewolf main male love interest! We got your crazy adventures! You name it we got it! * two spin-off novellas: Romancing the Werewolf (M/M) and Romancing the Inventor (F/F) * she has a ton more books in this same universe and writes sexy queer supernatural romance as G.L. Carriger

7. Plain Bad Heroines – Emily M. Danforth * queer author * historical horror-comedy set between a haunted girls’ school in early-1900s New England and in the modern day * all sapphic female main characters * plays with style/form/voice, a story within a story within a story

8. Red White and Royal Blue – Casey McQuiston * you’ve probably heard of it but here I am reccing it again * the biracial son of the first female POTUS falls in love with the Prince of England; shenanigans absolutely ensue * yes, the British monarchy still absolutely sucks a big fat dick * hilarious, heartfelt, reads like fanfic, just go get it, it will change your life

9. Rosaline Palmer Takes The Cake – Alexis Hall * same author as Boyfriend Material, this is his newest * bisexual female protagonist * absolutely perfect satire of The Great British Bake Off (you can tell this man has watched EVERY SINGLE SERIES and all of the holiday specials) * sweet and surprisingly thoughtful

10. Starless – Jacqueline Carey * genderqueer/transmasculine main character of color * almost all main characters are brown people! * lush Middle Eastern/India-inspired fantasy world * gods, prophecies, monsters * the best Oh God Why Me I Am A Horrible Mentor wise-old-mentor

11. The Future of Another Timeline – Annalee Newitz * nonbinary (they/them) author * time travel but make it The Handmaid’s Tale * will probably make your head explode * feminist, queer, subversive * diverse characters

12. The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue – Mackenzi Lee * queer author * technically YA but historical/magical adventure set in the 1700s * bisexual disaster main protagonist and love interest of color * (mis)adventures across Europe * has a sequel (see below) with the badass asexual sister of the protagonist

13. The Hate Project – Kris Ripper * nonbinary/genderqueer author * M/M enemies to lovers/sex with no strings attached (spoiler alert: strings attached) * HECKING HILARIOUS * sweet, escapist, and very low stakes * diverse characters, including fat protagonist with realistic anxiety disorder

14. The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy – Mackenzi Lee * PIRATES, obviously * sequel to Gentleman’s Guide * asexual female protagonist * strong queerplatonic f/f friendship * more historical/magical 18th century adventures

15. The Last Rune (series) – Mark Anthony * Imma be real with you chief, I haven’t read this series since I was a clueless teenager with no idea why I liked Gay Stuff so much, so if it does turn out to suck now, don’t throw rotten veggies at me * but especially since it was written in the NINETIES, this series was hella progressive?! * gay characters, disabled characters, characters of color, all playing significant and heroic roles in six-book epic fantasy cycle * people from Earth end up in high-fantasy world of Eldh * endgame M/M romance for the main character * books out of print, I think, but you can find them cheap somewhere like AbeBooks; first one (Beyond the Pale) linked above

16. The Library of the Unwritten – A.J. Hackwith * queer author * heaven-hell-Valhalla supernatural adventures * The Good Place x Good Omens x Lucifer x The Librarians * Pansexual Black badass female heroine * Queer found families * The Sassiest TM Bisexual Villain Turned Reluctant Hero (is he my favorite? Why on earth would you think that.)

17. The Priory of the Orange Tree – Samantha Shannon * epic doorstopper science fiction/historical fantasy set in a vaguely 16th-century world * main F/F romance between a queen and her sorceress bodyguard * sassy old gay alchemist whose backstory will give you Feelings * so many strong women and characters of color * no homophobia! marriage is fully gender-neutral, spouses are called “companions”

18. The Song of Achilles – Madeline Miller * likewise one you have probably heard of but still * a little light on the myth/historical part imho, but the writing is beautiful and will give you many feelings * M/M romance between Achilles and Patroclus  * reimagining of The Iliad (her other book Circe is also really good)

19 The Stars are Legion – Kameron Hurley * all-female apocalyptic space opera * messy messy antiheroines * grimdark war fantasy * queer sci-fi drama

20. Witchmark – C.L. Polk * author of color * M/M romance * main character is a veteran and a doctor dealing with his own hidden magic and repressed war trauma * gaslamp fantasy set in a world reminiscent of post-WWI England * strong sibling relationship

[hiding-from-hybe]

How to get a man in 30 days | PJM

✨Summary - Noelle Hartman enlists the help of a handsome, sexy, date doctor, Park Jimin..

Usually the type to help men on their romantic endeavours to get the women of their dreams and desires, he's confused but intrigued when she asks him for dating advice.

(✿ ◕ 3◕)つ・*。

Pairing: Jimin x oc

Genre: 🔞, eventual smut, dating!au,

Warnings: Swearing, smut, peer-pressure, negative self body image.

Notes: locations may vary as fictional/non-fictional as I am not native to any locations in this book but did research as much as I could to make it as authentic as possible.

Words: In progress

Perfect.. Noelle Hartman's life was seemingly perfect, from her perfect job as a travel agent, to her perfectly handsome and loving boyfriend...if only he was real.

When out mingling at a party she had no right to be at in New York, she met three of the most stylish and fabulous people she'd ever seen.

Her English accent was what had them intrigued but when asked about her dating life, she mentioned she was single, everyone turned their noses up at her so she laughed obnoxiously and said that she was joking.

Noelle had been too busy with her head in the clouds to date so she had conjured up a fantasy boyfriend, plucked out of the deep depths of fiction.

Her Sir Lancelot. Her knight in shining armour.

Her new friends Prudence, Jaq and Toni with an 'I' always told her how jealous they were of how her boyfriend spoiled her with gifts and flowers every time they met up, yes she felt guilty every time she lied to them, but this way no one bothered her about being a quote 'single lonely saddo in her late twenties' end quoteD and the better she felt about herself as they praised her.

They didn't meet up much, just for brunches here and there but whenever they did, she would take a package or wear a new expensive necklace to show them, of course whatever lavishly expensive item she purchased would always immediately go back the next day.

Due to her job she got to travel the world with discounts and benefits. An annual familiarisation trip on the dime of the company was a great way to upkeep her image and Instagram in front of her new friends.

She knew it was ridiculous, but she couldn't stop now, not when everything in her life was 'perfect'

Before brunch she dabbed her wrists with a dior sampler that had seen better days and rolled the depths of her collarbones with a smidgen of men's cologne to keep up the pretence that her neck was his favourite place to kiss when she didn't want to ruin her lipstick, which was her staple look, Yves saint laurent 59 Melon.

Using samples was a way to cut costs on the designer clothes had to purchase to keep up the speed with her new fashionista friends, she adopted a lounged style, never the one to look bold or chic but the brand name was enough for her friends not to bat an eye and they label it her personal preference on clothes. She always kept a low profile but in the end she was running out of ways to wear them, to look different, so much so Prudence had told her that the sweatshirt she was wearing was so last season.

"You know me, I don't like to throw clothes away, even though my closet is bursting at the seams" She lied, all she had left was a white shirt, a black Dior pinafore and a black beret she was saving for the next time they went to brunch.

"I wonder what Sir Lancelot has put in the bag this time?" She eyed the parcel in your rather well made fake handbag.

"Dibs if there's chocolates" Yelled Toni.

"He doesn't gift to me everyday, this is probably the sunglasses I ordered" Noelle smiles under the facade of lies, while looking in the chic little bag not big enough for much and faux gasps at a little box containing the keys for an apartment with the words soon written on the key chain. "It's just a set of keys to his apartment"

"Ellie he's so sweet, I bet he wants you to move in" Jaq smiles weakly, lifting her tea cup to her lips.

"He'll probably pop the question when you go over there tonight" says Toni showing off her new engagement ring and Noelle throws the chocolates that she had boxed up knowingly inside at her. "Truffles.. nice"

"I still don't see why you won't tell us who he is Ellie" Prudence pouts but then a grin paints her Rococotte lips "Is he married?" She leans in further "Or is he royalty?" She whispers and Noelle shakes her head.

"No, he's just the private type" She excuses.

"Penthouse, plane chartering, private?" Prudence lifts her well defined brow and Noelle just shrugs. "Oh come on Ellie, tell us"

"You're not getting anything out of me but if you need to know something, we're off to the new Baha Mar resort next week in the Bahamas" Technically it was not a lie but she was being sent for work, testing out the place, it was the best work perk she could ask for.

"How romantic, he's totally going to ask you to marry him" Toni mumbles through a mouth full of chocolates.

"My parents haven't even met him yet" Hell, she hadn't even met him yet. "But I'm sure it won't be long until I take him back home to London"

London was once her home but the Royal borough her friends expected was not the type of home life she grew up in, she was raised in a quaint neighbourly cul-de-sac in Salt Hill drive, Slough. She could still remember the way the west runway of Heathrow airport would open, acting as her alarm clock every morning before school, airplanes coming back and forth from various destinations, it made her want to see the world.

Though it was her dream to be a flight attendant, neither her height nor weight made her application considerable but at least she was seeing some of the world, mostly through the eyes of others whilst they booked their all inclusive resorts, bachelor and bachelorette weekends and around worldwide trips through the travel agency she worked at now in Williamsburg, NY.

It was exhausting pretending to be perfect but it was her life, day to day she was cardigan wearing, glasses bridge pushing Noelle, but to her new friends she was Ellie, a designer wearing, frappé drinking bestie.

"That means you're not going to make it to my engagement party?" Toni moped, but Noelle knew it, it was all part of her plan, she couldn't afford the gift nor a dress to attend anyway so being jet set off to a romantic destination with a romantic fake hubby was a great way to bow out gracefully.

"I'm really sorry Toni" Noelle gave her a genuine pout, she wished she could go and be the person they believed she was, but at the end of the day, she wasn't.

She was a fraud.

~

Another day, another dollar... Noelle sat up from being pulled away from her blissful sleep to turn off her alarm screaming at her from the side table next to her bed and she couldn't wait for the week to be over already.

Her home was an average one bedroom apartment, the rent was as decent as you could find and what she doesn't spend on lavishness and luxury she pays in rent and utilities, skipping breakfast had become the norm, the less groceries she had to buy the more she could save for her lifestyle.

With her brown hair in a low bun, Noelle wore her drab little work cardigan and her glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose, she felt like a tiny speck in the big wide world, that she wasn't anyone special when she looked in the mirror. Everyday was the same, only when she was Ellie was she happy to be seen.

Sat in her office cubicle on the phone to a client Noelle can't help but daydream about leaving to jet off to the Bahamas, she had already packed a few things she just needed to get through this week of work and she'd be sunning herself and taking pictures for her latest Instagram posts for her friends to gush over. Everyone lies about how good their lives are online, right?

One thing she had to remember was to pack a mens sized pair of sandals, she couldn't go anywhere without her makeshift man's accessories to make it look like she was being accompanied by her knight.

She would pose for a few pictures that would apply to two people of course to keep up the illusion, but mostly her pictures were just of the room and views from the hotel and destination, and her friends would be none the wiser that she was venturing alone.

"Hello, are you still there?" A voice on the end of the line woke her from her daydreams of sun, sea and Instagram likes.

"Erm yes ma'am, that's all booked for you, I will compile all that together and you shall receive a confirmation email from us, thank you for booking with New tour travel agency and have a nice day"

Noelle hung up the phone and blew out a breath, it was her lunch hour so she decided to flip through the new Vogue issue that had just been released as she trailed from the news vendor and through the streets on her way to get a bagel from her favourite deli.

The deli was always busy at lunch so she stood waiting to be served and in front of her was a tall broad man. She daydreamed about how he would turn around and he would be a handsome Adonis that would sweep her up into his arms and kiss her deeply in front of everyone.

"NEXT!" Booms Giovanni, the owner as he works the Deli counter, fifty years in the business and still works his ass off every day with his two sons. "Noella Bella" He greets "What can I get for you today?" He smiles at her but as she goes to order she looks upon the bikini body on the front page of her magazine, Noelle felt insecure about the two piece she packed, so instead of a beautiful, tasty bagel with cream cheese, she walked out to across the street where she begrudgingly spent $15 on a sad looking desk salad and trailed back to her work office to eat alone.

Even though Noelle loved her job searching for new places for people to vacation, the rest of the day was a gruelling few hours of getting side-eyed by her work colleagues since they weren't picked to check out the new Baha Mar resort, it had been the talk of the office since the opportunity had come up, but she had proved to her boss that she deserved it with high sales and incentives.

None of her work colleagues knew about her Instagram account; it was her secret because she knew they would probably snub her more. The profile picture was of generic sunbathing legs in a hammock, a holiday snap from last year, and Noelle wore sunglasses and a hat for set up and timed selfies.

Noelle had received rude, misogynistic DMs from when she would post pictures of herself before but she wasn't going to find her knight in shining armour in her Instagram inbox asking her to show them more of her skin anyway, so she just ignored them, deleted them without reading and eventually closed them.

Going home with her earphones in, Noelle listened to a pretty song from a daily recommendations playlist as she watched the busy streets pass her by, with a soulful voice and a harmony to match she thought that the track was just simply exquisite and she would definitely add it to her favourites.

Home is where the heart is, exactly where her bed is to be precise as her keys jangle in her hand and then thump on the kitchen counter she couldn't wait to toss her ass back into bed and look for some online sales that she probably.. in reality, shouldn't.

Her pay check was going to afford her some luxury she needed for her trip since she wouldn't need money as long as she stayed within the resort and sub-renting out her apartment for the week would give her an extra bit of cash to come home to.

Expensive. Expensive. Expensive.

To shop within her means was harder than she thought it would be, clearance sales didn't accept returns either, she would have to pay retail price now to send it back later.

Sure she could stroll through the markets strewn around the city and pick up a copy or two, but the more authentic her purchases were the less she had to prove to her friends, as not all knock offs were good knock offs.

Little essentials she could get away with, a pair of earrings were easy to fake but she knew her friends would surely notice if her outfit wasn't in any recollectable collection, she had to be careful.

Early to bed, early to rise.

Noelle had woken before her alarm clock, with a thundering in her stomach, she had fallen asleep forgoing dinner being outbid by vintagewhore_98 for A pre loved black, golden shoulder buttoned Chanel sweater, the owner must not have known what they had for selling it at such a bargain price but Noelle didn't have it either after getting out bid by $50.

"Goddamit" She cusses and shuts her laptop and rolled out of bed to find sustenance for her roaring monster of a stomach.

It's exactly 11 steps and a shuffle into the fridge and it's exactly how she expected it to be. Sad and empty. Figures. She'd have to go grocery shopping after work, there was no time now so after a pathetic attempt at breakfast, a piece of toast from the end of a loaf of bread and the last scrapings from the foil of her stick of butter, she made do.

Her mood was low and shopping for food was never as exciting as shopping for clothes especially on the budget Noelle had set for herself, low priced tins and no fresh produce wasn't the best diet but her work lunch salads were at least two of her supposed five-a-day... maybe.

Thinking about her shopping list on the way to work she was going to grab a bunch of bananas to keep her sweet tooth at bay, until she suddenly remembered there was a smidgen of Nukota sticking to the side of a jar in the cupboard..

Nukota, the more affordable hazelnut flavoured chocolate spread than the overpriced original brand. Same thing, just a fraction of the price. Just a few more days and she would be eating whatever she wanted for free, sunning herself by the resort beach and sipping cocktails in the Bahamas to get away from all the pressure, all the lies. Except from a picture or two for her Instagram page.

In her cardigan and glasses she felt like everyone was staring at her as she walked to her little cubicle, a tut from Veronica Heller, (her manager) was unprovoked and Noelle knew she was just jealous like everyone else that their boss saw no potential in anyone in the office other than Noelle herself.

Daydreaming about licking the jar of chocolate edges in her sparse cupboard got Noelle through the morning of two destination wedding bookings, and a few romantic 'holiday for two' getaway packages.

Another lunch brings another miserable looking salad staring at her in the face, she hoped it would magically taste like a burger when she took a forkful and placed it into her mouth.. but no such luck and an untasteful grimace It definitely tasted exactly like a salad. The only saving grace was a coffee to wash it down with.

The afternoon was also mostly uneventful, Noelle sits in front of her computer and rubs her eyes between calls. The week was dragging, for a second she though she may not make it to the end when a migraine sets itself across her forehead, radiating between her brows.

"Got to stay alive.. for the Bahamas, for the Bahamas, for the Bahamas" she repeats to herself, clicking the shutdown button as she drags her ass off her computer chair after hours of screen time to the off-brand grocery store.

The darkness comes early in the evenings as does the bitter autumn chill as Noelle wraps her cardigan closer as she paces the store after gathering a basket. The air conditioning is on and it's absolutely glacial in the fridge section where Noelle picks up a bananas, a cucumber, some celery, peppers and a jar of hummus.

Trying to lose weight through the temptations that surrounded her was hard but a teaspoon of honey usually set her right and power through, so a jar of that was added into the basket too but she definitely had to get her pop tarts, sugary sweetness.. her cheat day dinner or generally for a rather special kind of shitty day.

Perusing the reduced items for something she could eat today Noelle felt off, the lights that dangled above her were so bright it made her eyes squint, so much so she couldn't read the yellow priced down stickers on the packets, her peripheral vision was dim and she began to see spots.

It wasn't long before her body felt fuzzy, a static buzzing all over her body and hearing a voice in her ears, a loud voice but she can't really feel much of anything until her vision dispels its grey haze to a man looking down upon her.

"Ma'am open your eyes, Can you hear me?" Noelle is kind of awestruck at the Handsome man- who she realises is on his knees and has her in his arms.

"What happened?" She mutters to him.

"My name is Dr Benson, you fainted, I'm going to ask you some questions alright?" He talks slow, hoping your brain can catch what's coming out of his mouth.

"Ok?" You say but he's not sure he's happy with your tone, so he asks you to follow his fingers with your eyes, upon completing that he starts to question you.

"Hmm.. What's your name?" The handsome guy asks and Noelle is all tongues trying to string a sentence together.

"Noelle—erm Ellie.. it's Ellie"

"You don't sound so sure of your answer Ellie, are you sure you're feeling alright, Do you know what today is?"

"A really shitty one" She blurts and the Doctor laughs heartily.

"Don't say that, it's my birthday, but do you know what the date is?"

"Why would I know when your birthday is...?" Noelle is confused why would she know the date .."Oh today's date..! Sorry it's been a very long day" She sighs.

"You still haven't answered my question..."

"My name is Noelle Hartman, today is Tuesday the 25th, I'm single and I'm a Virgo" She laughs in jest "Am I in the clear to go Doc?" Noelle bats her eyelashes and Dr Benson is a little taken aback but helps her stand up.

"Well you didn't hit your head so I think you're okay, possibly a little dehydrated, here" He passes her a bottle of water from a passing cart, which she's unsure to take considering it's classed as stealing but doctors orders she undoes the cap to take a sip. "Do you have anyone to pick you up? Boyfriend or—?" She wonders what a handsome doctor is doing in an off-brand grocery store but a passer by tells her she was lucky he was just walking nearby.

"Nope just little me" Noelle shakes her head.

"Then please let me drive you home" It doesn't take much convincing to get Noelle in the car, for all she knew he was a liar, a scoundrel but it seemed so silly in her mind for him to kidnap someone like her.

"How much do I owe you?," Noelle says as he parks within her apartment's view "I think technically this was a house call" They both get out and slowly walk to the main door.

"Technically I'm off duty but how about just a cup of coffee sometime?" Dr Benson holds out his hand for Noelle to shake and she takes it, walking up to the foyer door she turns back but almost slips "Take care of yourself now, Otherwise I might have to carry you up myself"

"Thank you Lan—?" She's stumped, on pause for second realising she can't even remember his name after staring at his handsome face for too long, almost calling him Lancelot like a weirdo was embarrassing but maybe he would be into it but now was not the time to find out.

"Derek.. Dr Derek Benson" He replies and Noelle sheepishly walks into her apartment with a nod and as she stepped inside wailed like a banshee. Was this it? Was he the one? Noelle jumped around her apartment until she realised.

"Fuck! I didn't get his number" Noelle whines, and to her dismay she also realised her day had gone from bad to worse. "No! I didn't get my fucking pop tarts"