#yes i know i could write something

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Sometimes you look up your favorite webcomic that has been updating literally every single day for 14 years and it has 60 works on ao3 and not a single one is for your ship and you just die a bit inside.

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[feralforbeanix]

Manfred Von Karma did not burn Phoenix's letters to Miles.

Like, I'm not even saying this to defend Manfred's character (though the fanbase does get a little crazy with what he actually did and didn't do) I'm saying this because that's not canon. I'm not sure it was even possible in canon.

Phoenix didn't write letters to Germany. He didn't know Miles was in Germany, let alone Von Karma's address. He didn't even know who Von Karma was until Edgeworth told him about Manfred in Turnabout Goodbyes.

In the game canon, Miles just stopped showing up to school one day. All Phoenix seemed to know was that he transferred schools suddenly. He didn't know why or where to. Remember, Phoenix didn't even hear about DL-6 until Turnabout Sisters when Maya mentioned her family's involvement.

Even in the anime canon (I haven't watched the anime in a while so I might be off about this) where Phoenix and Miles get a chance to properly say goodbye, Phoenix still doesn't have a direct means of contacting him. His best way of doing so was dedicating a song through the radio using Signal Samurai codenames and hoping Miles would hear it.

Phoenix mentions trying to contact him several times when explaining their relationship to Maya, but this was after finding out Miles was this "Demon Attorney". Miles would have to be at least 20 at this point in time, living back in California with at least a few trials under his belt. With how young he reached success, it's not impossible Miles was living on his own at the time. Even if he wasn't, I doubt Manfred was going through this grown adult's mail.

No, what the game seems to be implying is that Miles ignored Phoenix. (Maya even says, "I guess he didn't want to hear from his old friends.") And I don't think this was out of hatred or anything, I think Miles just wanted to forget his past entirely because even the good memories of his childhood would be bittersweet at best.

And to be honest that makes it even more tragic to me. Why do we need Manfred to intercept their connection when Miles' trauma and guilt complex is already doing that?

I like to think Miles knew Phoenix would be asking questions if he ever responded to those initial attempts at contact. Questions he of course doesn't want to answer because they'd at best open old wounds or at worst risk his childhood friend finding out he might have committed patricide.

I also like to think he knew Phoenix of all people would stubbornly try to find the answers Miles wouldn't willingly give because he literally mentions Phoenix always being "single minded in his work" and "always seeing things through to the end". If anyone was going to press and bring those uncomfortable and painful memories out in the open for the sake of "helping him", it would be Phoenix Wright.

Why do we need Manfred to take away all that complexity and tragedy? That is such a waste!

[lightnersdream]

i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.

(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)

because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,

(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)

it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,

it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.

(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)

she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."

there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves

there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic

she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect

i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way

it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."

it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense

this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though

she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it

by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands

i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me

she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility

she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind

but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*

[rhymeswithumbrella]

you know what really pisses me off? so many people acting like he is the worst person out there and no one will miss him. A LOT of people are grieving now and missing him including people that these people supposedly follow and care about. liam was not the supervillain people wanted him to be. he was messed up and did messed up things likely because of what happened to him. this conversation deserves so much more nuance than people are giving it. and maybe it’s too early to have this conversation now but it’s helping me process and grieve so i’m really writing this for me. people are complex and doing bad things doesn’t make you a bad person or someone worthy of death without being given the chance to make things right. and another thing, it is SO hypocritical to make fun of him and look down on him like he’s the ultimate Bad Guy meanwhile i bet every single person you have ever admired in the spotlight has likely also done bad things or at least things you wouldn’t be proud of. fame is an illness and it can cause people to harm others because they were hurt themselves. human beings are a culmination of everything that they’ve been through and everything they’ve done. he is not only the bad things he’s done and it’s okay and normal to grieve him as a whole person, because he was one.

[chirpsythismorning]

Yeah a teaser dropping on ST day would be cool. But can we agree that a DNA board reveal would be infinitely better?

[coolnonsenseworld]

Samurai and Ninja in crappy pics because December here is under a constant cloud and I just want y'all to see them all golden and cute without learning how to take aesthetic pictures 🥴 💙❤️😆🥰

linktr.ee/Mezzy

[demonslayedher]

I finished posting the unabashedly educational Sword Fic.

It includes a detailed (but hopefully beginner-friendly) explanation of all the steps of making a Nichirin blade from a sunny mountain like Mt. Youkou, a touch of swordsmith and metalworker folk lore (including demons), meta about what must make Kimetsu no Yaiba's swordsmithing methods different from real life methods, some character exploration for Haganezuka and his polishing method, vocabulary and additional resources in the chapter notes, and hopefully, an endearing, silly POV character to learn this all through.

[unisongakikoeru]

this tweet helped me realize that yes, when mizi appears and till reacts positively to her, he does seem panicked (or at least something similar) from...losing control of the situation. because yes luka is someone who likes to have control, isn't he? especially on stage, because...it's the only place he can have, feel this control. this pretty much confirms it, already telling us a lot about luka's character

toying with mizi gave him control. toying with till gave him control. and it may explain why he looks somewhat ecstatic(?) in this frame— he's relishing in it

(let's also not forget if he loses, he literally dies, which makes it an easy motivation to win, even if it means playing dirty. let's also not forget he literally doesn't know anyone else aside from hyuna, so he also simply doesn't care about them, why would he?)

it also ties back to how he wants to make hyuna his, have control over her to protect her— just like how the aliens "protect" him by having control over him. it's...kinda all he knows

[cryptiduni]

“white mourning.”

[completeoveranalysis]

[12]

This feels strangely like a bookend to their first meeting so I’m just nervously going to keep reading out of sheer hope that I’m wrong and this isn’t what I think it is

It's fine it's fine there's nothing narratively final going on here it's all fine

WAIT NO

NO

NO

CLAMP DON’T DO IT

WAIT NO I’M NOT READY I DON’T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN

NO THANKS NO THANKS NO THANKS

But but but If I can stop myself from panicking too much it IS an actual book end. Yuuko adding the Hitsuzen Part II - people meet when they need to meet and they part when they need to part. The implication being EXACTLY what the entire chapter has been showing us every step of the way - that Watanuki has grown into everything that Yuuko was there to show him, and it would be hitsuzen for her to finally leave the store at this point. He IS ready to fulfill the demands of the store on his own, he’s grown to have the wisdom to answer all these strange and wonderful problems, and he also has the family and support system he needs to get through it all.

Watanuki first met Yuuko at the beginning of the manga (or like, this version of Watanuki, without his memories, first met Yuuko at the start of the manga) not knowing who he was or where he fit into the world. His inner fear that he didn’t deserve to exist meant his life was in turmoil, spirits hounded him wherever he went, and he was so scared by it that he wanted to wish it all away. 

And now it’s the opposite. He understands who he is and what he’s missing, he’s loved and feels like he wants to exist for the sake of those he love him, and he has a place that he belongs (and a place that is thrilled to have him there too, if you include Maru and Moro). He is no longer hounded by spirits - his life is in balance. He has reached his fully butterfly stage. 

And so there is no more for Yuuko to teach him.

But with that aside please excuse me it's TIME TO PANIC

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

My hot take is that marcanne has as much potential for toxic yuri as any other calamity trio ship and it's not nearly as soft and fluffy as one may think

[evocatiio]

if chibnall was the one writing this season you lot would be talking VERY differently

[toddtakefive]

thinking about todd and his resolve toward… not quite isolation, but being alone in a room full of people again. he goes along to the study room to sit on his own and do his homework, he sits at the poets table and follows along with what’s being said while keeping quiet, he goes to the meetings at all but doesn’t necessarily contribute (in fact, if you watch him when cameron is telling the story ‘from camp in sixth grade’, you can see that he recognizes it before any of the other poets but doesn’t voice it until they all have). he’s not alone, necessarily, if you want to get technical about it, he’s just lonely, and he’s generally okay with that. he doesn’t have friends and that’s fine, he doesn’t participate in class and that’s fine, he doesn’t have a relationship with his family and that’s fine—he could live without any real connection and he’d have been, more or less, fine.

the thing about when he says “i can take care of myself just fine!” is that he isn’t really wrong, you can infer that he’s been doing it his entire life anyway, it’s that ‘taking care of yourself’ isn’t the same thing as really living or being happy. todd’s an introvert, certainly, and even as he gets closer to the group he defaults to sitting quietly in the background, but he’s also denying himself community out of fear not introversion. todd isn’t friendless because he’s an introvert, although that definitely plays a part, he’s friendless because he pushes anyone that might want his company away. if anyone has every wanted for his attention in the first place. (neil’s unwavering interest in him is unique (even when it comes to the rest of the poets, who are fine with todd coming along and joining the group, but aren’t really hellbent on him being there in the beginning) and his refusal to accept it is a direct result of being so lonely growing up.)

there’s obviously something to be said about the implications of his parents neglect, and the more than likely fact that he grew up friendless, and how those both play a part in in him being so skilled at dodging social interaction/being so avoidant of it, but by the time we see him in the movie he’s all but accepted his fate as being alone his entire life. he’s already accepted being the family disappointment, and he’s already accepted he’ll never amount to anything, and he obviously doesn’t like it, but he’d have managed living with that knowledge without the confirmation that it was all wrong. would he have been miserable? almost certainly. but he’d have managed. he’d done it for that long already, anyhow.

[torchstelechos]

Housemaiden Lillian tried not to judge, truly! She thought the saviors of Vaugarde were incredible individuals with amazing talent and never ending bravery. Its just... shes not quiet sure what to think of the traveler in their group. At first she had thought them an unfortunate soul that had pushed themself too far to save Vaugarde as he had collapsed after the celebration, but after a while it became clear something was wrong with him.

The ever present smell of something sweet in the air when she entered the room to change the towel on their head. The way the lights flickered and bent around him in a pattern unlike anything she had ever seen. It was unsettling, it was wrong. But no one else seemed to notice! The other saviors simply went about their business and talked to the unconscious traveler laying in bed, unable to respond but listening all the same. It was like she was the only one to notice, to see, to be aware.

Then one day the traveler was awake when she came in to do her rounds. Simply sitting up, looking out the window in awe at the sunshine, turning to stare at her when she opened the door a tad to quickly. His eyes snapping to her and sparking with thousands of lights that dissipated in an instance, now back to the dark shade they'd been previously. They squinted at her before smiling wide, too wide, teeth sharp and pure darkless; the appearance of ceramics and not bone. It took everything in her to not scream at the strange creature masquerading as a human in her medical room, but she prevailed as she simply nodded at the stranger.

"You're awake. Thats good, I'll let your party know."

Turning around before the stranger could speak, she hurried away. But it was fore not as the creature let out a sound akin to the sound of glass shattering on the ground, but no, actually, was it the sound of a million tiks of a clock all at once? Or perhaps the sound of sobbing? Maybe even the grind of rock against scissors... If Lillian had to name what sound the creature made it would have been the knowledge of death breathing on her neck but she knows, she knows, she knows... the creature had simply called out "wait!"

The world reset itself and she turned back to the creature, the stranger, the traveler, the human. The thing that bent the lights and shades around it into undefinable things, as it looked at her with pitiful eyes.

"Could you... get me some water, please?" Its hands come up in a pleading motion, as if in mockery of prayer, and Lillian tried to ignore the anger that brought to her. She swallowed, and nodded.

Hurrying down the halls to the kitchen, turning left here, turning right there, bump into housemaiden Mirabelle- ah! Wait! Mirabelle needs to know her... thing... is awake. Yes, she can handle that abomination in human form.

"Housemaiden Mirabelle! Thank goodness! Your... ally is awake in the infirmary, please do go talk to them. Im sure they would enjoy your company!" Please, please, please take it from her hands she does not want to see it ever again, please.

Mirabelle's eyes widen before crinkling in joy, her hands clasped not unlike the creatures own previous pleading. Her smile was that of a human, perfectly normal, perfectly sized.

"Oh! Oh! Oh yes! Thank you so much! I'll go see him right now, thank you for getting me!" and off she ran, her pins dinging as she goes.

Oh thank goodness indeed, Lillian sighs, before continuing onward to grab a pitcher of water. She took her time to grab it and walk back, the unease oozing in the air around her but she is a housemaiden! And she wont! Give in! To some weird creature pretending to be human! Huffing and puffing she stomps back to the infirmary with the requested water. At the door, however, she paused.

What if the creature was a saddness pretending to be human and she had sent Mirabelle to it? What if it was something far worst than a saddness? What if Mirabelle was already dead and Lillian was to blame and that creature escaped and suddenly there was no more saviors and what if, what if, what if???

Opening the door to peek inside, Lillian is surprised to see how normal it is. The creature is smiling at Mirabelle, who is laughing at something it had said. The defender was also there watching on with soft eyes. The researcher sat close by with the child hanging off her, loudly talking about the food they were going to make the creature eat now that it was awake. And everything was... normal? There was no smell of sweetness in the air, the lights didnt bend, and the creatures smile was normal with normal teeth. It was almost like Lillian had imagined it all... did she? It's been stressful after the King and she had only just reawaken from being frozen.

With a sudden rush of guilt, Lillian came in quietly before setting the pitcher of water down on the bedside table. Nodding at the saviors who all cheered and waved and smiled at her, all of them human, completely normal humans. So why, why did she dehumanize the injured traveler? Was it because they weren't from Vaugarde? Was she being prejudiced? Why, why, why?? She thought, well, it doesn't matter what she thought. Clearly she was in the wrong and had turned against one of the saviors because she was tired and stressed out, what a horrible thing to do. Taking a careful breathe in, she turned to smile at the traveler in the bed and froze.

No. No no no no no no. THATS NOT A HUMAN. The shade of pain, of breaking, of rotting, of failing, of something awful reflected back at her from its eye. Stars, thousands, millions, the entire night in it's eye. The light bending and stretching and changing and becoming something WRONG.

Lillian screamed before running but the world bent and turned and shook and she fell hard. The creature making a noise impossible to describe the very feeling of time shattering in her ears and the yelling of humans alongside it. Wrong, wrong, wrong wrong wrongwrongwrongwrong-

Lillian felt. The world. Change. and Shatter.

Lillian woke up in bed, she forgot what she was dreaming about but the saviors were there. She remembers the traveler smiling at her, she smiled back. What a nice fella, that traveler was. Though, she did feel like she forgot something important, but well, you know the saying. If it was important, you'd remember it.

With a smile, she went about her day and hoped the future stayed just as perfect as it was now.

[stuckwith-harry]

i am handing in my b.a. thesis (on motherhood in gothic fiction) in a few short days and though i have been complaining about having to write it for six months straight, right now i am actually feeling bereft of future opportunities to write academic papers about my silly little interests. for instance right now i really want to research & write about dracula daily & genre & the impacts of the newsletter format on the narrative (the addition of a timeloop)

i think about format and the specifics of narration a lot when i'm writing my own little things and i loooove when the narration - not just the narrator, but the act of telling the story - is part of the narrative. love when the narration is diegetic! love an epistolary novel (like dracula!) for this reason. should read more of them

inventory by carmen maria machado (short story! read it immediately!) is a GREAT example of this. the format of the narration is so integral to the story. does more than elevate it imo, i would argue the story genuinely wouldn't work any other way

g*d. i'm gonna have to become a video essayist