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whatdidtheydotomygirljinx · 20 days ago

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Why Episode 7 is the worst episode in all of Season 2.

This fuckass Timebomb ship is the worst thing to ever happen to Jinx's character.

Ok so finally we're gonna talk about Boy Savior Complex and AU Girl Next Door Powder

This is gonna be long. Also, we're not only talking about Episode 7 and Timebomb, we're also discussing Jinx's suicide attempt and how her character's resolution is actually really sad.

First of all, Jinx never liked Ekko back. Season 1 makes it pretty clear that they're friends, and that Ekko has an unrequited crush on her. His feelings are clear, but she never shows any reciprocation. And, no, the art book that came out after season 2 concluded doesn't count. You can't just put "the boy with the unrequited crush" trope in your story and then retract it.

And now to get to the serious part... who the fuck is AU Powder?

Ekko gets transported into this alternate timeline where we the audience soon realize everyone is happy and none of the conflicts that plague the original story exist and everything is perfect and "as it should be". So this is the ideal world and the one where all these characters reach their highest form of happiness. Even Silco is back with Vander.

And in this ideal world Powder is... a waitress at The Last Drop? I rewatched this episode and I genuinely tried to pay attention to see what does she actually DO. Like what occupies her time in this universe. And between Vander's line about how she's "too smart to be spending her life in a bar" and the fact that she is at one point behind the counter (while Ekko is studying his books... imma get back to that) and the fact that we never see her in any other places besides the bar and her hideout and that one time Ekko takes her out... this seems to be it.

So in the perfect timeline, Powder has decided to stay back with her family once she's grown up, to remain with Vander and help him run his bar, and implicitly has no big ambitions of her own, and definitely no ideas that she would sacrifice her family life for.

Now... Powder/Jinx as a family person is not actually wrong characterization. This is pretty congruent with her character in season 1. Her entire story and literally everything revolves around her family and not much else. When she's Powder she's attached at the hip to Vi and when she's Jinx she doesn't seem too interested in the world outside of her hideout and Silco's office. So considering all we know, yes, Jinx does place family first.

And this is pretty assumed by the show. Now, I also characterized her like this in season 1! She is a family girl. And Jinx happens to have all these people with big revolutionary ideas around her, be it Vander or Vi or Silco or Sevika, but she herself never actually seems much interested in that. She has a small moment in arc 1 of season 1, which i think it's significant to mention comes right after Vi plants the idea in her head. It would've been one thing if these ideas stayed with her, but post time-skip she doesn't bring anything like that up again. She mostly acts like a bored teenager whenever Silco drags her to the river to tell her all about his tragic past that radicalized him. Overall, any time she exhibits any revolutionary spirit, it seems to actually be more of a personal vendetta for her.

So, okay, Jinx is a family girl and she's never really actually been about all these big ideas, I can agree with the writers that this represents her character.

It's just that... this much?

Man, COME ON. There were people making "Everything's Perfect" AUs since season 1, and they almost all had Powder be a student at the Academy. This girl was clearly passionate about her little inventions, her bombs didn't work but she kept and kept trying. You're telling me she would be completely uninterested in learning more about engineering, in getting a formal education in that, in doing anything with it? Since in this world, there's peace between Piltover and Zaun, we can't talk about any barriers to her becoming a student. And, for that matter, in League lore there's an academy in Zaun, too, that she could have attended.

Even Ekko points it out, man. Now, to the writers' credit, the story acknowledges quite clearly that Powder choosing to stay with Vander and help him run the bar is weird. It just... never explains it. Like why is she like this, though? Let's throw out some possibilies:

(1) in some scenes, there seems to be a little "jinxiness" in this Powder, too. maybe she's aware of that side of her, and doesn't like it, and fears that if she went off and did what she wanted, and was truly herself, it would ruin what she has, "things are good now" (in this case, this Powder is actually a tragic character. nowhere near ideal timeline stuff.)

(2) in act 1 of season 1, the reason Vi makes Powder stay back is because she fears losing her, after Vander tells her that she might lose Powder in a confrontation with Piltover. since Vi dies in this universe, on a job, maybe in that moment Powder internalizes that rocking the boat in any way is bad. Vi was spirited and had big ideas and wanted to be someone and it led to her death. so maybe this Powder gave up on all of that then. Vander seems like the type to give her a "look what happens" speech, too.

But these are just my theories. This doesn't ever get properly explained in the show. So then maybe Powder is actually content like this and likes this and maybe these people constantly pestering her that she could do and be more are just annoying nuisances to her, same as Sevika is an annoying nuisance to Jinx in the original timeline (although there it makes significantly more sense).

(Also, why is Vi even dead in this universe? They could've easily found another way for Piltover and Zaun to make peace. Guess Jinx doesn't even get to be happy in the Perfect Timeline, goddamn, girl really is cursed after all.)

If you're gonna spend an entire episode on fix-it fanfiction that is supposed to pander to fans and give them, on screen, what they always wanted to see, why didn't we get grown up Powder in a cute academy uniform, being a top student and working on school projects and being loved by her professors cause girl was a prodigy.

Instead... this is Ekko in this universe, actually.

Ekko is the "big idea guy" and he's working on an entry to the innovations fair and he gets to be Heimerdinger's pupil. To her credit, this Powder still seems to be very smart, Ekko comes to her for help cause he can't actually build his invention alone. But she only uses her intellect to help Ekko. I always thought it would be Powder who would be Heimerdinger's pupil. Instead, here, she's hanging off Ekko's arm, and being all cute, as he discusses Important Stuff with Heimerdinger, stuff that she doesn't get to be privy to, but that she is expected to help them with anyway.

So AU Powder is this very smart girl who is helping her boyfriend build his entry for a contest because he can't actually do it himself but it's okay she'll help him of course and no he can take all the credit she doesn't want to be recognized or anything or to go to like University that would be crazy she's doing it cause she loves him and she's sweet like that and she likes to help others and she doesn't have any character traits that make her difficult she's just a cute funny and relatable down-to-earth girl and she pokes fun at Ekko but like in a loving way and she likes being a waitress and she'd rather be recognized for her dancing skills and................ I'm sorry.....................

So you're telling me Ekko gets transported into an alternate timeline in which his childhood crush who never liked him back is stripped of all her personality, has no goals or ambitions of her own and has no interests besides being his supportive girlfriend, is devoid of all the traits that might have made a relationship with her difficult, and despite the fact that she never showed interest in him in the original world, here she is head over heels for him, always acting all lovey-dovey with him and being nothing but a cute and affectionate puppy.

This is every little boy's with an unrequited crush dream right here. Man, Ekko won more than any other character in this show. And she's mentally ill, too! He's hit the jackpot. Y'all what the fuck am I watching.

I'm sorry but literally ALL I COULD FUCKING SEE WHEN I WAS WATCHING THIS STUPID DANCE SCENE was that in this universe Powder is a good christian girl who stays home with her dad and loves her boyfriend and is always happy to help WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GOOD GIRL PROPAGANDA get this bullshit OFF my fucking screen I cannot fucking believe what I'm watching here

Moving on.

Ekko has hurt Jinx more than any other character in the show.

Physically speaking.

Ekko is the one who does this.

Which leads to this.

Which ultimately leads to this.

It has always confused me and it continues to confuse me why no one in this fandom treats Jinx being injected with shimmer as a big deal, when this is the worst thing that happens to her post episode 3. And it's a point of no return for her character, she can't undo this. And yeah I know everyone thought Shimmer Jinx was cool in season 2, but her being turned into a half-dead monster is not a good progression for her character. She also goes through agonizing pain in the process.

Singed agrees.

It's Ekko who forces Jinx between death and being turned into a half-dead corpse. It's actually insane to me that no one in the fandom considers this and that this is never brought up in the show. If they wanted Jinx and Ekko to be a thing, you'd think this would be a big deal in their relationship. Ekko has changed her irreparably, for the worse.

Idk, is the guy who beat you up and left you for dead really boyfriend material?

This is the first moment Jinx shows any interest in Ekko. Interesting timing.

I'm pretty sure she doesn't even mention his name post act 3 of season 1. She doesn't wonder about whether he's alright after the bridge fight (for that matter, neither does he). The first time when Jinx looks at him with any hint of affection is when she's standing on a ledge, ready to throw herself off.

Jinx has no one anymore at this point. Her old family is long gone. Silco is dead. Isha is dead. Vi has decided having a good time with Caitlyn is more important than her. This is Jinx at her lowest moment. Does she like him back or is he just the only one who showed up?

Ekko is a winner once again. His crush has been abandoned by everyone, and he is the only one left to comfort her. Luck like this is hard to come by. And of course, she's gonna be super impressed and touched by any sliver of affection now. Probably gonna look at him with big, grateful eyes, and see him as her savior. I'm disgusted.

By the way, this should have never been Ekko. If Vi was too busy with fucking Caitlyn, this should have been Sevika. Sevika is the only character who has known Jinx since she was a child, and who has been with her through every iteration. And she's the only character who has never cared whether she's Jinx or Powder or any other persona she decides to take up, to her she'll always just be an annoying kid. And to Jinx this might actually be comforting. Sevika is the only one who has a realistic perspective on Jinx, and recognizes her flaws, so her talking her down might have actually been very touching, and there are things she could tell her that neither Vi nor Silco could.

(The fuck could Ekko tell her, honestly? That he went off to an alternate universe where she was his perfect girlfriend, so she shouldn't kill herself actually? What the fuck.)

I also wanna talk a bit about Jinx's resolution as a character. Not her fake-out death, but her in the last episode. I think it's interesting that everyone who had a connection to Jinx is gone, namely Silco and Isha. Silco and Isha are both people she chooses, actively, and she is herself around. Instead, now, she's back to Vi and Ekko, the same people that were with her in her childhood. This is a full circle moment for her.

This is Powder right here, guys. Powder was a little girl who made a mistake and then she went off on this journey where she met new people and she was someone else and it was fun for a while but ultimately she realized what she was doing was bad and she came back to her family and is ready to be that little, sweet girl again. The problem with the Powder-Jinx dichotomy is that Jinx, as much as she represents all this bad stuff that the show has made clear, also represents Freedom and Power, two things that Powder definitively lacked. Her coming full circle, coming back to Powder, is not actually a good resolution for her. She's right back where she started, with Vi and Ekko. Her venturing off on her own and making her own decisions was ultimately a mistake that only lead to her suffering. We can take this all the way back to when she decides to venture off on her own with that bomb, despite Vi's disagreement, and the consequences plague her for the rest of the story.

I know everyone thought it looked super cool when she lifted off that hood, but I could only think it was tragic.

#arcane critical #anti timebomb #fuck this timebomb ship forever #and shall it never grace my dashboard again

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princessgarnetxvi · 7 months ago

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Everything Johan did was For Anna/Nina

Everything Johan did was for Anna.

A “Monster” capable of love.

“What I’m most afraid of is…forgetting Anna. The strange lessons we have everyday… are making my memories fade. Please, don’t make me forget Anna. It’s only Anna and me in this whole world. Just give me that - please. Please.” – Johan Liebert”

I was very confused about the complexities of Johan's character up until the last handful of episodes. After rewatching the series for a 3rd time and exploring how Johan is portrayed in the manga, it became very clear to me that my initial opinions about Johan were basic and devalued the intricacies of Naoki's writing. From the beginning we are only TOLD by conflicting views, who Johan was. His character, in the fictional world as well as our own, is simply defined by an individual's perception of him and the story presented. However, if we dissect ALL of the themes and even the undertones Naoki presented to us through the world of characters; I think it would be evident that Johan was not committing heinous acts for superficial reasons such as simply being evil to be evil.

So what was the method to his madness?

I believe... Everything he did was for Anna.

(Yes this includes erasing himself from existence too )

Author's Note: I want to preface before you read on that although these essays are written in a sympathizing light that Johan has done PLENTY of wrong. This is not written in an attempt to dismiss his heinous acts lightly, but to simply understand the "Monster" of the series by tackling Johan's crimes deeper than the surface. I tried to make sense of Johan's every action in regards to his OVERALL PLAN and why Naoki presented them to us as viewers. For those who will nitpick the term "everything" quite literally, I want to make it clear that not E V E R Y S I N G L E A C T I O N Johan has taken coincides with his love for his sister; his actions towards the children specifically - because there are some things that had nothing to do with his "perfect plan" but more to do with attempting to build Johan's character and his view of the world us as viewers. Justifying ones actions vs. rationalizing ones actions are completely different. I am in no way attempting to discard the accountabilities that Johan should face for his actions, but instead trying to make sense of it all. I've analyzed Johan's crimes against children here: https://xprincessgarnetxvi.tumblr.com/post/691678531250487296/i-really-love-reading-your-essays-i-can However, this will explain the root of Johan's character and the core of his overall plan(s) that was committed for the sake of his sister from the very beginning to the end. The overarching theme and message of Monster is that there are no such thing as Monsters, only broken human beings capable of great evil; so we will humanize this great Monster in order to understand not only Johan Liebert, but the hows/whys Tenma/Nina was able to forgive him and ultimately find value in saving the life of this supposed Monster.

Before we begin, I'd like to take the time to thank you for reading! I can't wait to review your comments and further discuss this magnificent series of Monster!

Anna was set up from the beginning to become The “Monster” given she was the one who actually endured the experiments. Her tendencies are shown in glimmers throughout the show. The heartbreaking twist to it though... is that the only reason why she DID not become the beast, was because SHE ( unlike Johan ) HAD KNOWN REAL UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

-Johan’s love and sacrifice is what kept her safe from the darkness he knew very well. He got his hands dirty to shield her. He chose to leave her behind in the care of her foster parents, knowing she would forget him, in order to heal.

He chose her than himself over and over; becoming her shadow; choosing to lose his only attachment to his already weakened identity in order for her to heal.

His love for her is why she never became a monster...and tragically, why Johan had.

Which reflects exactly what Mikhail Petrov (whose real name is Reinhart Biermann) said about his "PROFOUND DISCOVERY" concerning his current experiment on the children he had in his home; he said the children did not become animals because he gave them LOVE.

(Mikhail Petrov telling Grimmer how the children in his current experiment did not become Monster - it was because they had LOVE.)

In his own twisted way and view on things, he was protecting her. He killed every "parental" figure they had because he was betrayed by every adult figure in his life so far. People who mentioned calling the police, ended up finding out about their past - anything that could lead the man, who Johan referred to as “The Monster” into finding them, he disposed of.

The adults in their lives thus far would betray them, torture them, hurt them, throw them away- and forcefully separate them. In his severely abused mental state, any adult figure was a potential threat to his and Anna’s safety. So he’d kill in order to runaway from "the monster" and protect Anna. Then when Anna found out about the blood on his hands that fateful night the Monster paid them a visit, he realized that now he had become someone Anna feared - a different kind of Monster but all the similar to the one they were running from.

So he rationalized that now he needed to die.

In that moment, I think we should focus on his body language and expressions. Johan faced the ground. hardly picking up his eyes. His shoulders were sunken and he did not have that menacing little smile he usually had. Johan has killed in secret various times with Anna and back at Kinderheim.

So why was he so messy with the Lieberts?

Because he did not want to kill them - he said HE HAD TO.

It was not a calculated murder, because he was not truly calm and collected; He was afraid.

Lets not forget who Johan was up until that moment: the infamous little boy who provoked an entire riot and massacre by simply opening his mouth. With mere words he was able to sway the adults and children into doing what he wanted. BUT IN THAT MOMENT when Anna caught him red handed, he could not, or rather, would not - try and manipulate Anna.

(He has never once been shown trying to manipulate or abuse her throughout the entire series as he has done intentionally with the rest of the world.)

Instead, he asked her to shoot him and run - in an attempt to finally liberate her from the horrific life they had to lead up until now - blaming his existence for the constant chase their predator (Bonaparte) gave way to them as prey because in that moment, his memories were distorted and he believed he was the one who went to the Red Rose Mansion. **** (X) (this theory is challenged referenced below)

To Johan, him living was a danger to Anna and that night made it evident to him.

But when he was brought back to life and realized the gravity behind his methods, seeing how terrified Anna was of him - he started to cry. Because despite his initial feelings of finding his death absolutely necessary for her to be safe, he still wanted what he had with her; the only bond of love he ever knew.

What set his entire ADULT plan into motion (wiping out everyone who ever hurt Anna and created HIM) was Anna's rejection at the hospital. That was when he realized internally, he was beyond forgiveness and that he was nothing more than a monster. A Nameless monster in her reflection that needed to die in order for her to live in peace. (Referencing the God of Peace storybook. )

Johan was the one who gifted the God (Anna) her hat and then she saw herself as the Monster she was supposed to be due to the Red Rose Mansion experiments. This would NOT have happened if Johan did not give her the hat (the red hat which can symbolize the blood he spilled for her. ) so in this instance, Johan is also the reflection (you are me and I am you. They are both nameless monsters)

From that moment on, he wanted to wipe out his entire existence, and that meant those who ALSO "created" him so that Anna could heal as Nina.

I believe this is what is depicted in the Nameless Monster storybook.

Initially, we are made to believe Johan wanted to “consume everyone” so he would be the last one standing. The Monster known as Johan in the book also devours his counterpart, the Monster who went West and then there is no one left to call him by his name. But clearly, Johan never does this, because Johan never attempts to kill/devour Anna/Nina - because what it symbolizes is entirely different in nature regarding Johan’s intention.

A quick reminder that both Johan and Anna were considered Nameless Monsters. HOWEVER - by Johan’s hands, Anna does not remain “Nameless” nor does she ever become a “monster” the moment Johan decided to not only leave her behind in the hands of a loving family, but by her changing her name and her identity to Nina. The Fortners never made any implication that they knew of Nina’s past concerning the Lieberts murder and I believe this is because Johan introduced her as Nina to the Fortners and never allowed them to see the trail behind her identity as Anna Liebert.

Symbolically, Johan, as the Nameless Monster, consumed the Monster inside of Anna and became the only Monster left. This is what is mirrored in Johan’s intentions and the Nameless Monster storybook.

With Anna forgetting him and Johan leaving her behind thus losing his only connection to someone who truly knew him, now all that is left is Johan, without absolutely anyone to call him by his name - the one and only Nameless Monster.

And this is heavily referenced in Another Monster:

(This reinforces that Johan was trying to make Nina forget her past as Anna)

There wasn’t some sick satisfaction from any of his killings done when he was a child. To him, it was needed for the sake of her safety. This was Johan’s initial “plan.” set in motion. He wanted to be the only one left in the world with his sister - so that they wouldn’t have to be afraid anymore.

(I also believe at that point when they were kids, Johan's very first plan he referred to when telling Anna "Remember, I have a plan." was to run to another country with her so that the Monster will never find them. It is the only logical idea of a plan that a child could conjure following what he actually leads them to do, which was cross the border. Simply destroying the world is unreachable in his current state and Johan is smart enough to not be delusional in his endeavors. With that being said, he had to kill that old couple to erase any trail they may have left of "two beautiful blonde twins." But this plan fails because they nearly die at the Czech Border and was discovered. )

(Johan telling Anna he has a plan.)

RUHENHEIM:

One of the biggest moments in Ruhenheim has been misinterpreted and lost due to the mistranslations in both the English Dub and the Japanese subtitles.

I clarify and mend this by breaking down what Nina unraveled in Boneparte’s house when she looked at the portraits by correctly translating the Japanese script/text in depth here on this post:

But to summarize it for the purpose of this essay, it was revealed to us as viewers that Johan apologized to Anna when she returned from the Red Rose Mansion, revealing the overwhelming weight of guilt he carried when Anna had been taken that day.

(That day depicts the moment their mother made the terrible 'Choice')

and then Johan accepts his mother will never return to them (assuming she abandoned them) and goes on to tell Anna this:

Johan is the one crying because soon after, Nina tells us that Johan was in that room crying.

This information provides clarity as to why Nina was finally able to understand Johan, empathize with him enough to be able to forgive him. She remembered he was a boy who felt guilty over what happened to her; a boy who cried when he realized they were now all alone in the world. She understood that Johan desperately did anything and everything to ensure he and Anna survived despite it all.

That Rainy Night:

I want to GREATLY EMPHASIZE the important factor I missed my first time watching the scenes with Johan/Anna - the scenes shown to us were ONLY through her recollection as fragments due to her memory loss. They were told from what she COULD remember, so her take on what really happened that rainy night the first few times the events are unfolded before us should not be taken as absolute. At least...up until it is revealed in the final episodes that Anna realized that on that night instead of seeming like an empty shell of a person asking for death, Johan was crying and crying before she shot him.

The scene where Anna finds the portraits reveals what truly happened between them and its so important. She said “Johan was crying “here” just like before.” She was mimicking a memory she had just recalled in its entirety. “Why are you crying, why are you crying?” She sounded in distress. Directly after she reveals that she remembers him crying, it shows the image of him pointing at his head that rainy night.

Even though Johan told her to shoot him, it is IMPORTANT that he was crying and the author highlights this for a reason.

I believe that, finally being able to vividly remember that day finally revealed to her that Johan wasn’t the “face of absolute evil” she initially dismissed him to be; he was a boy/man who could cry and mourn - he was human. He was a terrified boy protecting Anna and himself the only way he knew how. and instead of showing him forgiveness/love - she added on to his collection of wounds scarred upon his soul from everyone else who chose to harm him.

Tenma...was ultimately the ONLY one in his life who showed him kindness.

Johan's intentions and reasons behind many crimes: Essay II.

( I will summarize it here as the extension essay was far too long to put on this post)

**** (☓) I want to ask, did Johan truly believe he was the one who went to the Red Rose Mansion or was that simply a masquerade he performed to make sure Anna did not remember?

(I wrote an essay on this being a possibility here: PART 2 OF THIS ESSAY. This will explain Johan's intentions in depth)

(this is a theory I FIRMLY believe and have completely adopted. But for the sake of argument, I will entertain both concepts behind Johan's memory in this essay.)

If we entertain the idea that Johan never misconstrued his memories about the Red Rose and pretended he did, I can dissect Johan’s intentions a bit more intricately.

Throughout the series you see that he is trying to wipe everyone who knew of what happened to Anna off the face of the earth, that included himself. He did not want Anna to remember. So when it was revealed she did remember, he mourned. It was subtle but evident in the anime when she reveals “you are wrong.” something in him shifted - for once he was reacting to the words of another.

She said "he had a smile but seemed like he was crying. I never seen such an expression on his face before." That entire scene, Johan’s eyes expressed something we’ve never seen from him throughout the series - a sense of mourning or longing?

Johan in front of Anna always appeared the most human and I feel Naoki did this with purpose.

(Naoki specifically told the directors/animators of the anime series to never stray from how he expressed Johan's eyes for a very important reason. )

Johan's expression finally meeting Anna after 13 years apart.

If, however, Johan DID truly think he was the one who suffered at the red rose mansion, his “perfect suicide” plan still relates to his twisted-selfless feelings for Anna.

Johan learns it was not him that suffered at the Red Rose Mansion...but Anna instead. and then Johan goes on to commit the "perfect suicide." In his plan to die, he wanted to take The Monster with him, forcing Bonaparte to endure the same exact hell he forced Anna to suffer as a child.

Call it an act of revenge. Some may think Johan is incapable of being vengeful but I cannot see this cruel and calculated act as anything other than malice. After Bonaparte was finally dead, the monster disposed of - Johan was ready to die.

But you can see his conviction began to slip away when Anna forgave him. What made it worse was realizing he was wrong about Tenma because even now, Tenma was still hesitating on killing him ruthlessly like he always presumed would happen. Johan thought he had humans all figured out - after all, all Johan has EVER known was the darkness in people’s hearts. That is why he was so confused/moved by Tenma and wanted so desperately to prove him wrong.

The manga portrays Johan’s expressions 1000X BETTER THAN THE ANIME. As soon as Anna arrives, Johan is just staring at the floor, unable to look at her - Repeating everything from that fateful rainy night when they were kids. But this time, Anna doesn’t kill him, she chooses love and compassion. and when she says she forgives him - his reaction is something the anime does not do justice

(The subtle shift the artist expressed in his eyes from her words is so significant but missed in the anime; but he reacts rather deeply, moved and shocked by her words.)

Because "Forgiveness is the remission of sins. For it is by this that what has been lost, and was found, is saved from being lost again."

In the manga he isn’t quick to reply. He ponders over her words carefully and I think this is when his mind starts panicking.

Anna realized that forgiveness was the one thing he wanted that night she shot him, despite him also thinking his death was needed. His value depended on her view of him; and what she once robbed from him was now returned - a human being worthy of forgiveness instead of a monster.

He is telling her the evident truth that he cannot turn back because he TRULY believes Tenma is going to kill him any moment.

Johan refuses her forgiveness not because he resents her or thinks its too late for her to redeem herself - but because he doesn’t think he deserves it. “There are somethings that cannot be undone.” Because it is too late, Johan is going to die - he WANTS to die. Then you see the fear and helplessness in his eyes after getting the one thing he always wanted [ Anna’s forgiveness] because he desperately wanted to die as the only thing he knew himself to be: the nameless, nonexistent monster. But both Anna and Tenma rob him of that by bestowing upon him the gift of compassion, mercy and empathy; for the first time treating and valuing him like a human being instead of a monster,god,experiment, devil etc., as everyone around him has his entire life.

(The Monster inside of Johan begins to crumble.)

Johan in his final moments was cracking and finally falling apart. You see it in the final expression he makes: the distraught, confusion and sadness. Because he realized, he was wrong about people, he was wrong about the world. But how can we blame him for his view on humanity when all he has ever been shown since birth was how ugly, selfish, cruel and inhumane people can be?

How can we expect someone who has only seen darkness to be able to find the light?

I want to clarify one thing I noticed: Johan has never shown to take any kind of sick satisfaction from killing unlike all the other serial killers being interviewed in the series. (aside from Richard) Specifically, Johan is without "the lust for murder" as Lunge explains in Another Monster - which is why Johan hired other people to kill for him instead. Especially contrasting Johan with Roberto, specifically, when Roberto tries to kill Anna.

(that is until Richard, which makes Johan's dealings with him stand out for a reason. He doesn't even take pleasure in killing the Red Hiddenburg, he leaves before witnessing her death instead of reveling in his 'checkmate' coming to fruition.)

Despite his callousness and his lack of care for life - Johan, despite how much of a "monster" he was, very clearly had humanity and had love....for his sister most of all. Johan saw when his mother choose, how little their lives meant to her and this instilled his nihilism at such a young age. He watched Anna get tossed to the wolves like nothing and in that moment, he probably thought his mother chose Anna over him for a reason. (even though the question on her intention would haunt him for the rest of his life) But her being able to choose is what hurt him the most and it's probably what instilled his self sacrificing mentality to care for Anna above the world in order to never make the same mistake his mother had.

That is why after she got back from the Red Rose Mansion, he cried for her story and apologized as if it was his responsibility to feel guilty over what happened to her. It should have been him that suffered. Then after, he treats her with the upmost care, telling her everything is hers, no matter what she will win everything because he would deem it so. He is kind to her, never letting go of her hand even when she is dragging behind - he sacrificed all of himself for her...

Because she deserved everything in the world to contrast their mother throwing her away.

(it should be noted that the Lieberts did not want Anna either but only adopted her because Johan refused to leave the orphanage without her. Which is also why I believe he killed them when Bonaparta came because he thought the Lieberts were conspiring with Bonaparta to get Anna)

🌰 (The ‘Acorn game’ represents their Mother's choice, a child in each hand. But in this version, Johan would ensure that no matter what hand Anna chooses, she will NEVER choose wrong. He manipulates the fate behind her choices by holding two acorns instead of one; never letting her make the same mistake as her mother.)

He wanted her to know above all else, she was loved.

A clear indication of this adoration/attachment he has for her is the fact that he DOES NOT forget her even after enduring the hellish experiments in Kinderheim that aimed at wiping out / messing around with his memories.

I wrote this because I was astounded to see various posts/Wiki pages implying that Johan’s intentions were to torture Anna and make her kill herself. Telling her to shoot him was his first attempt to drive her insane? They twisted a lot of things Johan did to try and make this statement true. But I cannot comprehend how they drew this conclusion? The series has characters mentioning on more than a few occasions that Anna is dear to Johan. "He is lost with you."

Everyone knew Anna was important to Johan, Professor Geidlitz was the first to mention this besides the old blind man. Roberto was aware of this which is why he tried to kill her as mentioned in Another Monster. Which is ALSO why Peter Capek tried to hold her hostage to prevent Johan from killing him.

and for the first time, Johan DOESN'T kill him.

Johan cried when he awoke at the hospital after he reached for his sister and she screamed in fear of him. His face full of tears - his heart completely broken. If his intention was to drive Anna insane, he would have triumphed in that moment she screamed and fell to the ground after he reached out to her. But instead he mourned.

Anna has mentioned several times that Johan has cried for her, like when he was in the room full of their happy portraits, he was crying. He never once tried to bring harm to Anna - not intentionally towards her person. Explaining the Fortners murder - either he killed the Fortners after they decided to keep lying to her, thus keeping him in the shadows when he wanted to return. OR he killed them because they were going to tell her the truth about her identity, which was something Johan worked to conceal. (this theory is explained thoroughly in essay #2 )

Regardless, if he wanted to torment her, he would not have tried to lure her away to the castle when he set up the Fortners to be killed.

They imply that Johan wanted to torture her and then kill her at the end. But that makes absolutely no sense. Where in the storyline does Johan give off this tendency towards her? Even at the end he told her where to meet him in Ruhenheim and not once did he try to shoot her or Tenma. Honestly, if he really wanted to provoke Tenma to shoot him, he would have held the gun to Anna instead of a random child. But even though being shot by Tenma was his greatest endeavor, he refused to point the gun at someone who was important to Tenma...because Anna, is important to Johan too.

To say Johan, despite being hailed as the Monster of the series, had no love or humanity in him and was merely the Devil himself...completely missed the point of the story...

I’d like to point out the constant mentioning of Hitler in this story and draw another important factor...Hitler brainwashed people to commit mass genocide. Under his rule, millions perished in horrific ways. But despite that...Hitler was capable of loving others. Hitler was also loved by others. The terrifying truth about people who commit atrocities...is that they are not monsters or demons or devils...

they are merely human.

Here’s two passages from ANOTHER MONSTER [novel post Monster written by Naoki] that really drives this point:

- PSA: My twin brother FINALLY finished his 2 HOUR Johan Analysis Essay, that dives deeper into Johan's character. This essay and essay #2 will be included in this analysis video as we both worked on it together. However, this lays out the details visually and with beautiful music. Please watch!

youtube

#anna liebert #Nina Fortner #Johan Liebert #Naoki Urasawa's Monster #Monster anime #Naoki Urasawa #Anime twins #Dr. Tenma #Kenzo Tenma #Franz Bonaparta #Leovoid #Johan #Liebert twins #Monster meta #anime meta #Youtube

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constellationguy · 1 month ago

Text

Another perspective

Episode seven

"Text: regular talking

'Text': regular thinking

"Text": Saiki talking telepathically

'Text': Saiki thinking

Previous episode

ATTENTION! You might want to rewatch episode seven of The Disastrous Life of Saiki K before reading to fully understand the events.

Summary: Episode 7 in L/N Y/N's perspective.

“He is so cute!” “Come here kitty!”

“He’s so cute, I wish I could go say hi but I don’t want to overwhelm that cat,” Y/N paused for a moment to speak but when they noticed Saiki didn’t stop they rushed to catch up with him.

Saiki suddenly stopped for a moment but then returned to Y/N’s side. Y/N was confused when the heard meowing and was even more confused when Saiki turned around to go towards it.

Y/N didn’t know what was going on between Saiki and the cat, but Saiki clearly didn’t care for what the cat was saying so he kept walking. After a couple more meows Saiki turned back and stood in front of the cat stuck between two buildings.

Y/N kept looking between Saiki and the stuck cat, clearly missing the telepathic conversation. However based on the cat’s movements the Saiki clearly had the upper hand.

Saiki was repeatedly backing in and out of the cat’s view, Y/N could only guess that the cat was say thing something that Kusuo didn’t like. After a quite smug look from the cat Saiki walked off.

“Hey, slow down! Seriously would helping that cat really be so bad?” Y/N asked as they grabbed Saiki’s arm. Kusuo just rolled his eyes and turned back to the cat.

Y/N looked between the cat and Saiki again, it was clear they were in a telepathic conversation but Y/N couldn’t tell if they were purposely left out of it or not.

“Why does he look so smug? Is he getting the upper hand?”

“Not even close.” Saiki replied, and again walked away.

After more angry meowing from the cat, Saiki and Y/N again turned back to the cat. As Saiki continued threatening to leave the cat became more and more dejected before Saiki suddenly broke the building that was holding the cat in place.

With the cat free Y/N and Saiki continued on their path home without further disturbances. However that wasn’t the last time Saiki and Y/N saw the cat.

The second cat interaction came when Mr Saiki came home.

“Hey I’m home.”

“Welcome back honey! Your dinners already on the table.”

“Oh. Great.”

“What’s with your belly?” Ms Saiki pointed out, Kuniharu clearly stuffed something in his shirt that he wanted to do hide.

“What are you hiding?! Take it out!” “It’s nothing leave me alone!” “It’s something dirty like an adult magazine” the set of parents wrestled to reveal what was under Kuniharu’s shirt.

“It’s a cat?! Aw so cute! Where did you find this little fur ball?”

“He was in front of our house so I just, well… can we keep him? I promise I’ll take cate of him!”

“That’s the same cat you helped earlier today right Kusuo?” Y/N asked as they paused eating their dinner to watch Saiki’s parents briefly argue.

“Yes. Yes it is.” Saiki replied, less than amused.

“Honey I’m sorry, but I’m allergic to cats remember.”

“Oh, then I can take the cat out. Go sit and eat dinner dad.” Y/N said as they got up and picked up the cat.

The cat didn’t put up much of a fuss in Y/N’s arms and allowed Y/N to take them out.

“Nice try buddy.” Y/N told the cat as they gave them a quick pat, sat them down, and walked into their own home.

—————————————————————————

“You know, the Christmas lights are pretty nice. A little much in some places but still charming. I don’t think anything could compare to your house though.” Y/N teased Saiki.

“I don’t think we’ve seen anything that even comes close to mom and dad’s decorating.” Saiki smiled back at Y/N’s tease.

“It’s like this every year at my house… I have a bad feeling,” Saiki paused his light hearted conversation when he grabbed onto his front door handle.

“How bad can it really be?” Y/N asked.

“Oh welcome home Ku!” “Hey Buddy!”

As soon as he saw his mom and Nendo Saiki slammed the door and locked it.

“Over reaction much?” Y/N asked Saiki.

“Nope.” Saiki replied coldly.

“Come on, let’s just go in, surely it won’t be too bad,” Y/N said as they tugged Saiki inside.

“I ran into your best friend while I was at the store so I invited him.” Kusuo’s mom told him.

‘I thought I was your best friend.’ Y/N elbowed Saiki, while they teased him internally.

“When it comes to parties, the more the merrier right?”

‘Someone please end my misery.’

“I’m back! Merry Christmas! Santa’s here with presents!” Kuniharu come through the front door wearing his Santa costume to a awe struck Nendo.

“I thought this was supposed to be just family. Now I lol like a fool. Who’s that guy?” Kuniharu whispered to his wife.

“That’s because you are.” Saiki said under his breath.

“He’s Ku’s friend Nendo.”

“Kusuo has a friend?! Oh dear!” Kuniharu cried.

“What am I? Chopped liver?” Y/N said a little offended. Saiki elbowed them and gave them a small smile, mimicking what Y/N did earlier. This seemed to placate them for now.

“But how? Kusuo is such a cold jerk. If I went to school with him and he didn’t have powers, I’d punch him in the face.” Saiki’s dad stated.

“Wow, thanks dad.” Y/N had to take a few shakey deep breaths to avoid laughing out loud.

“Hello Nendo! I’m Kusuo’s dad, Kuniharu. I’ve heard so much our you.”

“You talk about Nendo at home???” Y/N asked very confused. “Not even once.” Saiki said and shakes his head.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Mr Kusuo’s dad.”

‘He seems like a thug.’ Kuniharu thought.

‘I’m I the only one that didn’t like that he called you Kusuo?’ Y/N asked, trying to place how they felt about it.

‘I hated it.’ Saiki thought back to Y/N plainly.

“Is he really Kusuo’s friend? He seems more like the dumb bulky type.”

“He’s a good kid!” The set of patents whispered to each other.

‘I thought that too when I first meet Nendo,’ Y/N thought.

“This is a great costume. I thought you were really Santa.” Nendo commented.

“What? Oh, thanks kid.” Kuniharu replied bashfully.

‘Now you like him?’ Kusuo thought confused.

“Merry Christmas!” Saiki’s parents and Nendo clinked their glasses while Y/N and Saiki clinked each others off to the side.

“Well Nendo. I get the feeling you’re just a big kid under all that beef.”

‘You’re acting like host family for a foreign exchange student.’

“Before Kusuo was even one, he was already treating his old man like something he found in his diaper.”

“You should have taken that hint.” Saiki said and Y/N snickered.

“Ya I can tell by the way you listen to me that you’re a good kid.”

“Oh, I don’t know if I’m that good sir. When I was little Santa never visited my house.”

“No way! But why would your dad deprive you like that.”

Y/N was suddenly glad Saiki’s dad never asked them these questions.

“Oh my dad’s dead. He passes away before I was even born.” Nendo said plainly.

“What?!” “I had no idea Nendo.”

“I’m sorry my husband said that.”

“Why? Doesn’t bother me. I still got my mom. And I’d rather have her than Santa once a year.”

“I see. Uhm, would you please excuse us.”

“You three keep eating!”

“That’s odd. Anyway, it’s pretty cool your dad still comes home in a Santa costume every Christmas.”

“Ya, it makes me smile every year. It’s quite the sweet tradition.” Y/N reminisced.

“I’m back. Sorry for stepping out.” Saiki’s mom said as she came back into the room.

“No prob! Where’s my buddy’s dad?”

“He had to leave for a work thing. Something about clients needing their shoes licked. Anyway let’s eat.”

‘I can guarantee that excuse only works in this house hold.’ Y/N thought since Nendo made no comment over the remark.

The conversation was cut short as Kuniharu tried to open the locked screen door, once again dressed as Santa Claus.

“AH! OH NO! There’s a man dressed like Santa trying to break in!”

“Oh my!” Saiki’s mom exclaimed.

“I told you to unlock it for me.” “I’m sorry but I don’t think you’d be so fast getting to the door!” Saiki’s parents whispered to eachother.

“They’re so sloppy,” Saiki told Y/N, and they gave him a smile and rolled their eyes.

“Hey Nendo, I’m Santa Claus it’s nice to meet you!”

‘That’s worse than expected. Pulling the same stunt twice is bound to fail, even Nendo will notice.’

“THE REAL SANTA CLAUS IS HERE!” Nendo freaked out.

‘Then again, this is Nendo we’re talking about.’

“I can’t believe it! I’d be honored to share your hand!”

“Oh of course!” Kuniharu said with a Santa impression.

‘He’s getting carried away,’ Saiki thought to Y/N. ‘Maybe so, but he’s trying to do a good thing, let him be,” Y/N said as they leaned on Saiki.

“Oh! I just remembered that you fly around with reindeer! I’ve always wanted to see a reindeer in person!”

“Uh okay, they’re just outside on the lawn. Go look!”

‘Now that’s quite the promise.’ Y/N laughed lightly.

“Ku please! It’s Christmas! Be giving!”

By the sound of Nendo’s screeching, Kusuo somehow made a reindeer appear.

“Here Nendo, it’s for you.” Kuniharu gave Nendo a gift from his sack.

“A present?”

‘Isn’t that my present?’

“Ya! That’s two presents!”

“What? You have two gifts? I thought you said you’ve never gotten one before.”

“Ya, nothing from Santa. But I still get one from my mom. Every year while I’m asleep she comes in and puts a present right next to my pillow. I wonder why she doesn’t just give it to me herself, aw well,” Nendo chuckled.

“Your mom is a saint.”

—————————————————————————

“It’s so crowded.”

“Well it is New Year’s Day. What do you expect?”

“I expect to go home and enjoy the day in peace.”

“Oh come on, it’s one quick thing then we can go to my house and chill out. Don’t be such a Debby downer Kusuo.” Y/N told Saiki.

“I wish for another happy year with you.”

“Awe no, why are you doing your New Years prayer to me?”

“Oh but Kurumi don’t you see? The goddess I pray to is you.”

‘He gets so smug when he charms her.’ Saiki thought a little annoyed.

‘I guess so, but I think it’s kinda sweet.’

Y/N stood next it Kurumi and Saiki and his dad went to pray.

“Oh hey there Saiki! What a twist of fate! Visiting the shrine for New Years, that’s nice I only happens to be passing by, I’m not really the superstitious type.”

“I’m Kusuo’s father, Kuniharu.” “And I’m his mother, you’re such a handsome boy. Thank you for being friends with our grumpy little Ku!”

“What uhm. Ya, well, sure! Greetings! Sir and Ma’am. I’m jet black K-Kaido.” Kai’s said with in a panic.

“Oh so your name is Kaido?”

“Uh, Kusuo is one of my greatest allies! I’m mean friends! Hahaha, ya.” Kaido was flailing his arms about in his panic.

‘What’s with everyone calling him Kusuo all of a sudden… it feels weird.’ Y/N thought, this development just wasn’t sitting right with them.

“I know! Who would have thought Kusuo was able to make two real friends!”

“Oh honey no, I didn’t mean it like that. My prayer was for Ku to make lots of friends this year! Don’t you see?! The years barely begun and it’s already been granted!”

“Neat. You know I prayed for the exact same thing. We’re on the exact same page, always thinking alike!” Saiki made a face at that so Y/N guess he probably prayed for something else.

“So Kaido, have you gone up and done your prayer yet?” Kurumi asked.

“I should! Indubitably!”

“Indubitably?” Y/N and Saiki looked towards each other a bit confused.

‘Who knew your parents could break the great jet back wings,’ Y/N thought to Saiki. ‘I guess so.’ Saiki thought back.

“Well, time for me to go converse the heavens.” Kaido said then walked to the shrine.

“Kaido seems like a good kid.”

“Ya he does. Even if he is dragging his scarf.”

“You guys have such low standards.”

“Well, me and Kuso have done our prayers so I think it’s time for us to head out. You two can stick around and enjoy the sights.” Y/N told Saiki’s parents.

“Aren’t you going to say bye to Kaido?” Kurumi asked.

“Could you actually tell him bye for us, there is a program I promised to watch with Kusuo that airs soon, so we’d like to go home and catch it.”

“Oh of course!” “Ya go ahead love bugs, we’ll see you at dinner.” With the go ahead Y/N and Saiki went home.

“Why were you so ready to go? Normally you’d love to see Kaido embarrass himself.” Saiki asked Y/N.

“I just had a feeling that if we sticked around any longer something bad would happen. And knowing your bad luck all of our friends would show up and your parents would invite them to dinner and your New Years would be ruined.”

“Really?” Saiki questioned.

“Well it happened at Christmas with Nendo! Since this is such a public place I have no doubt a similar course of events would happen.” Y/N defended.

“You’re probably right, thank you for getting us out of there.”

“You’re welcome.”

The conversation lulled and they feel into a comfortable silence as they walked back to Y/N’s house.

“Is there really a program you wanted to show me?” Saiki asked.

“Truthfully no. My New Years wish was to have you to myself, so I just wanted to get you out of there. I know that’s a little selfish but I know you like quieter events.” Y/N said a little bashfully.

“I do.”

“So we could put on a movie and get snack. Or I can put music on so we can take a nap, truth be told I didn’t really sleep last night.” Y/N laughed.

“Either works just fine.” Saiki told Y/N with a light smile.

“How about Home Alone? I know it’s a Christmas movie but I haven’t watched it with you yet. Plus it’s my favorite.” Y/N said as the grabbed the remote and sat next to Saiki on the couch.

“Sure.” Truthfully, Saiki didn’t care what they watched, as long as it was just him and Y/N.

—————————————————————————

By the time dinner came around Saiki and Y/N were knocked out on the couch. They laughed, talked, and ate snacks while various movies played so it was to no surprise when they feel asleep together after many hours of having fun with each other.

When they didn’t show up to dinner Kurumi gave Y/N a call but Saiki ended up picking up the phone.

“Y/N? Where are you and Kusuo?”

“We aren’t going.” Saiki replied.

“Oh Ku?! Why?”

“Y/N is still asleep. We took a nap after we watched a few movies but they still haven’t woken up yet.” Kusuo told his mom.

“Oh, well I can stop by and drop off some food for when they wake up.” Kurumi offered.

“No, we can come over for leftovers later.”

“Well alright, just make sure to eat soon okay Ku?”

“Okay… bye.”

“Bye bye, Ku.”

As Saiki put down Y/N’s phone they started to shift in their sleep. So Saiki adjusted them so they were laying more comfortably, laying their head on his arm so they wouldn’t wake up sore.

When Y/N stopped shuffling Saiki relaxed again and shut his eyes to join Y/N in their late afternoon nap, the movie on the tv still rolling its credits, long forgotten.

#kusuo saiki x reader #saiki fic #the disaster of psi kusuo saiki #saiki x reader #saiki kusuo x reader #the disastrous life of saiki k #saiki no psi nan #saiki k #saiki kusuo #kusuo saiki #kusuo x reader #x gn y/n #x gn reader #gn reader

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moldybonessmell · 1 month ago

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Sevika character analysis post

Because it feels like everyone's miscaharcterises her and she's being treated only like a "hot mommy" I think I got an aneyrism writing this sentence sorry

// ARCANE spoilers season 1 & 2

So, a little disclaimer, I haven't rewatched season 1 so I might get some stuff wrong from it, feel free to correct me in case I get facts wrong

I want to start from the first impression we get from her. In season one she's a brutal right hand of an undercity mafia basically, a gambler and a card player, smokes, a frequent visitor in brothels (tiktok thinks she and Ambessa fucked the same twink and it changed the course of my life, I feel). She's a brutal and strong fighter. All in all, scary bitch (slay, if I may).

But the other aspect of her charcter in season 1 is that she's ridiculously loyal. She's loyal to Silco like a dog. The way she kept following him even after many many opportunities to get deals with his enemies. What it tells us is that even if she seems like a typical villian, she has a strong moral code. "But what about Vander?" You may ask. Well, her moral code also tells her to support the idea she sees as right. Her and Silco both disagreed on Vander's view, and decided to go their separate way. So even if she's loyal, she's still not going to support someone she doesn't agree with, which distinguishes her from a common minion trope.

In the same loyal theme, I would like to touch upon her relationship with Jinx. Yes, they were openly hostile to each other, but in season 2 Sevika decides to follow Jinx at some point. I have yet to decide if it's just because of Jinx being dear to Silco (a gesture of goodwill) or Sevika actually saw the girl growing up and had warm feelings. I firstly thought Sevika collaborated with Jinx on attack on Cait n Vi just for the sake of revenge (the entire Grey ordeal), but the way she instinctively covered Jinx n Isha with her entire body in this one scene, I fall more on "warm feelings" scale than "cold alliance".

Also don't forget the episode where Jinx gifted Sevika her new hand (which didn't last long but oh well). That was a gesture of goodwill, which is crazy concidering all the curcumstances ngl.

The way Sevika told everyone about Jinx they are not handing over their people even before she knew Jinx was relatively stable or even if she wanted to kill Sevika or not shows really well where her loyalties lie. Whether it was in memory of Silco or Sevika changing to be more like Vander and prioritize community.

And now her relationship with Jinx leads us to a revolution in Piltover. Right after Silco's death Sevika, who has always been a number 2, a right hand, tries to become a leader... but kinda fails. Which is expected. If you folow orders your entire life, it's difficult to make people listen to you even if you have a strong character and morals. And she tries again with leading a revolution against the Piltovian regime.. and fails again. But Jinx somehow has people folowing her without even trying. And Sevika decides to support her in hopes of making Zaun's life easier.

I bet she has complicated feelings about Jinx: maybe some warm ones from seeing her growing up, definitely hatred from all the stuff Jinx did (we still don't know if she knows Jinx killed Silco, right? I bet she figured out tbh), but also the sense of hope for change. And so Sevika becomes a number 2 again. The problem is, this new leader to follow doen't have any ambition or even care about community (she only cares about Isha let's be fr).

And Sevika, who very obviously craves community and connection loses everyone. No Vander, no Silco, and now no Jinx.

But you know what she has? The strong desire to make people's lifes better.

And this is why she doesn't stay back during the Ambessa's attack on Piltover, even tho it's not her, as a zauntie, fight. There's a possibility of Zaun getting in danger (bc let's be honest, Ambessa would just obliterate Zaun in case she reighns) and Sevika stands up for a fight.

And this is why I think she's the perfect candidate to end up in the new Piltover senate.

Tbh the first one would definitely be Ekko with the way he build up his community. Yeah he seems kinda down after all that, but for me personally it's a weak plot to make him all about Jinx in the end, sorry, we need TWO places in the council, you know (on my planet they are both there together)

Sevika tried several times in the past to be a leader and failed, but she still tries again, as her sense of responsibility for her people is stronger than her personal doubts.

(And you know she would have them after whole 2 times oof)

I've seen people on multiple platforms make jokes about Sevika in the council being ridiculous, but I strongly disagree, as you can see. No, she does not have anger issues, Jinx's just annoying/j

All in all, I think she's a very interesting and complex character.

Thank you for reading, feel free to share your thoughts.

#arcane #arcane season 1 #arcane season 2 #arcane spoilers #sevika arcane #arcane sevika #jinx and sevika

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avonne-writes · 9 months ago

Note

Rewatching MOTA made me realize that the boys, for the life of them, could never hide the weird tension going on between them. Even the RAF guys in episode 2 got tired of their "heavy petting". Their relationship was the worst kept secret in the entire base, but god help anyone who messed with them because of that. Which is why I kinda hc that the reason Curt was so insistent on knocking the RAF guy out was because he blatantly disrespected his friends.

Hahaha, yes, the boys couldn't have been more obvious! But they had protective friends like Curt. ❤️

#mota #buck x bucky #clegan #curtis biddick #anon

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miss0atae · 3 months ago

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Random Thoughts about Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (EP 3 - 4):

Sometimes, you think you're prepared to handle the angst and usually it turns out it's not really that easy. Let's say it was this way for me, with these two episodes. I knew from the start that the relationship between Do Hoe and Ju Yeong would be affected by something Do Hoe's dad would do, but I never quite imagine the domino effect it would have for the rest of the story. To be honest, I had to rewatch the part where everything went wrong because I wasn't sure I had quite understood what happened. I guess this part reinforces the sudden volte-face that you never quite imagined, neither the characters did. In the end, you just feel like Ju Yeong: confused and in a need of answers.

I guess I would be easy to have resentment for Do Hoe. I understand that he feels guilty in some way about what happened. He also maybe believes that avoiding Ju Yeong, being cold to him or keeping a distance with him, will be the right penitence for what happened... but it's not. He still feels guilty and that's shown when he met again Do Hoe at his father's funeral. When asked by Hyeon Ho if he is okay, he curtly answered "no, I'm not okay". I think Do Hoe hasn't been okay for 12 years now and it's a very long time to feel guilty. Harm was done by his notoriously abusive father to someone he cares for and Do Hoe feels like the blame fell at his feet. He is struggling with guilt and that made him not being able to do his exams and to cut any contact with Ju Yeong.

On the other hand, we have a very confused and lost Ju Yeong, who was beaten by Do Hoe's father because he wanted to "protect" him, in some way. In the end after this event, he was left with no contact, no way of talking or seeing Do Hoe. He never quite understood why. He deserves a valid explanation, but he was left with uncertainty. Uncertainty is everywhere and that's part of life. Yet, we all crave security and control over our life. By denying him a reason to explain his actions, Do Hoe made Ju Yeong feels fear and doubts. They can trap you in a downward spiral of "what-ifs". That's why he never really found his way, made strong bonds with others and he kept contact with Do Hoe's father, despite everything. In a way, he was looking for Do Hoe is every part of his life. It is shown in the scene where he rushed outside when it was snowing because snow is associated with Do Hoe and the good time they had together.

I guess it must have felt weird for some viewers about why Ju Yeong kept contact with Do Hoe's abusive father or why he cried during his funerals. I think it can be explained in several ways: first, it's a way of still being close to Do Hoe, even if Do Hoe is not present in his life. Secondly, it is the feeling of being wanted. Ju Yeong was adopted and never felt he had a place in his family, but even if Do Hoe's father is really abusive and despite the toxicity, it's worth it, just to feel wanted. Finally, and that's just a guess, alright, some people stay around toxic people because deep down, they believe they can't do any better and/or the abuse is a preferable alternative to being alone. By losing his coach in an accident, Ju Yeong lost an important person in his life. Even if this person was toxic and put him in this situation where he lost contact with the real most important person in his life: Do He. So yes, I understand why Ju Yeong stayed in touch with the coach and cried when he died. Of course, it also gave him the opportunity to see Do Hoe again, something he desperately wanted because he wants answers. That's why he is always asking him “Don't you have something to tell me?!”. I think the explanation may not be what's important, what he really wants is for Do Hoe to talk to him.

Recently, I read a post by @usertoxicyaoi about the loneliness of being queer as it is portrayed in Love in the Big City through Go Yeong's journey. I think it also works, in a way, with Ju Yeong. I will quote this post because I think it was so well-written: “It's such a relatable, universally felt loneliness that in particular queer adults feel. and yeah love is nice and all, and it was fleeting and a whirlwind and it came and it went. but that loneliness? Stayed.” I think it also relates well to what Ju Yeong must have felt during these 12 years where he was left with no real answers and the loss of someone he really loved and trusted. I hope that now, Do Hoe and Ju Yeong will be able to start their healing journey: one must free himself from feeling guilty over something he couldn't change and the other must be able to get free of the loneliness he thinks he deserves because of his past. I get that the series is called “let free the curse of Taekwondo”, but we all know it's not Taekwondo that is the curse and both have a different one. The idea is that maybe they are the cure for one another. I wouldn't say love is the only answer, but in a way, it's not only about romantic love, but also self-love. Both are the answer, in my view.

As you can see, I had so much to say about this series and it shows how great it’s for me. I can’t wait to see how they are both going to re-connect, heal and live this love again.

#bl series #bl drama #korean bl #kbl #let free the curse of taekwondo #episode 3 #episode 4 #my thoughts #random thoughts #I hope usertoxicyaoi you don't mind that I tagged you #lftcot #dohoe x juyeong

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pinkberrypocky · 8 months ago

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How Kyoko Did What Mami Couldn’t

A long rambling series of thoughts about how kyoko and mami are more similar than they seem and how kyoko is the one who truly succeeds at it

So normally I think of Sayaka and Kyoko being the duo to think about, but upon this rewatch I noticed some interesting things about Mami. Mami’s role in the anime is essentially to show Madoka and Sayaka the ropes of being a magical girl and help them decide if they want to become magical girls themselves. However, there is a massive gap in this goal of hers/our perception of her role in the show and what she actually does in the anime. Mami tells Madoka and Sayaka that she wants them to know the stakes of becoming a magical girl before they decide if that’s something they are willing to go through in order to have a wish granted. On a surface level, this seems like exactly what she does. She takes them with her while she hunts and kills witches, she talks with them about potential wishes, and she even warns Sayaka about the possible complications of making a wish for someone else’s sake. However, in actuality she only encourages Madoka and Sayaka to become magical girls, all while sheltering them from the true weight of the profession, though this is likely not known even to her as she does so. She takes them into witch fights without ever warning them that this is a life or death scenario and she might not be able to protect them. Instead, she tells them that she’ll protect them and puts up a front that she is an unstoppable and untouchable object. But that obviously crashes down very quickly when she dies in front of them in the third episode. While telling Madoka and Sayaka that she is going to teach them what it is to be a magical girl, she effectively shelters them from the very things they need to be aware of in order to make an informed decision on whether or not to make a contract.

I want to emphasize that I don’t think this is intentionally selfish, though it definitely is in function. Mami didn’t have a choice when she became a magical girl, it was make a contract and become a magical girl or die. So it makes sense that it’s important to her that Madoka and Sayaka make an informed decision before jumping into magical girlhood. So why doesn’t she? Why does she put active effort into making sure they don’t see the ugliest parts? Why does she put up a front that she isn’t affected by risking her life to fight witches? Because she was trying to give Madoka and Sayaka the protection that is so starkly absent from her own life. Mami has no close relatives, her parents died in the car accident that forced her to become a magical girl years ago. This means she has been on her own for a long time. And remember, all of the characters are middle schoolers. Mami had to grow up far too fast and so she tried to protect Madoka and Sayaka from this by sheltering them from the cold truth about being a magical girl. Not that I’m saying she kept explicit secrets, Mami died never knowing about the truth of the soul gems or the witches, but she kept the psychological effects and risk of serious physical harm from them, even though it was with good intentions.

What’s wrong with that? I think we can all agree that these girls could all use a more active parental figure to protect them. So was Mami in the right for this? No. The issue with this is that it is starkly incompatible with the goal she expressed to Madoka and Sayaka, to teach them what it’s like to be a magical girl. Unfortunately, Madoka and Sayaka have already been pulled into this world and as such deserve to be informed about what that entails. Mami is incapable of doing this. But if Mami really wanted what was best for Madoka and Sayaka and to be a mentor to them, wouldn’t it make more sense for her to tell them the truth and then help them work through it? Yes, yes it would. But she can’t, because the real obstacle holding Mami Tomoe back from being 100% honest with Madoka and Sayaka is the fact that she is so deeply afraid of being alone. Mami has been alone since becoming a magical girl, both in the way that being a magical girl isolates all of them but also in that her family is dead. Mami has no one. So when Madoka and Sayaka enter the picture with the preassigned, by Kyubey, context that they might want to become magical girls, Mami is set on selling them the job. Because if Madoka and Sayaka become magical girls then she won’t be alone anymore, both in fighting witches and in life. So even though Mami has the surface level goal and knowledge of making sure Madoka and Sayaka know the truth, she has a much stronger goal hidden beneath the surface from even herself: to not have to be alone anymore. So in actuality, she doesn’t want Madoka and Sayaka to realize how horrible the job is, because if they did there’s no way they’d join her and she’d remain alone. Because of this goal that she herself isn’t aware of, she consequently presents a false narrative of what it is to be a magical girl, therefore putting Madoka and Sayaka in immense amounts of danger.

Mami is a tragic character because what she wants to do is the opposite of what she does, and as soon as she reaches her goal she is killed at the height of her positivity. But that’s not to say that there isn’t a character who doesn’t do the work of explaining the truths of the magical girl world in an accurate and effective way in the series. But that girl isn’t Mami, it’s Kyoko.

The moment in the show that sparked this whole train of thought for me was in the scene in episode nine right before Madoka and Kyoko confront witch Sayaka. Kyoko asks Madoka if she’s sure about coming with her, reminding her that she can’t say for sure that she can protect her and pointing out that she doesn’t even know if her plan will work. Madoka affirms that she wants to come along, and begins a bit of a monologue about how she’s never been able to help the magical girls since she is too scared to become one herself. Kyoko immediately tells Madoka that she’s one of the lucky ones, that if it’s not a life or death situation she shouldn’t even think about making a contract with Kyubey. Madoka pushes back on this but Kyoko holds firm, insisting that it’s not wrong for Madoka to enjoy her life and that there is no pressure or reason for her to become a magical girl. Whether or not Madoka is able to truly hear and internalize Kyoko’s words is separate, though based on the end of the show I think we all know that conversation did not encode, the fact of the matter is that Kyoko bore all the truths of the situation to Madoka. She didn’t pull any punches, and she didn’t shelter or protect Madoka from things that she thought might be too hard on her.

This lack of sugar coating is really important to Kyoko’s character as a whole. Throughout the show she always speaks what she believes to be the truth, which is really all you can ask of her considering the earth shattering secrets Kyubey kept from all of them. You can see this a lot with Sayaka, who Kyoko tries time and time again to convince to change her ways to put more emphasis on herself. Kyoko knows that Sayaka is functioning as if the world follows her strictly constructed ideals, and she also knows that the world doesn’t. She used to think like Sayaka, but she was forced to face the truth that sometimes the world is horrible. Sometimes the people you love most hurt you. Sometimes a wish you made out of love only leads to pain. She tries countless times to convey this to Sayaka, which is exemplified most plainly in the scene in Kyoko’s father’s old church. She tosses Sayaka an apple, saying she has a long story to share with her, but Sayaka immediately throws the apple to the floor. The symbolism of apples cannot be ignored in this scene, especially considering the setting of the church and the nature of the story Kyoko shares with Sayaka. Sayaka rejecting the apple, the biblical symbol of knowledge, at the beginning of the scene shows her refusal to face the truth even when it is handed to her.So even while Kyoko failed to be heard, which is very reminiscent of her father and the nature of her wish and I plan to discuss further later on, she did not fail to convey the whole, brutal truth. Kyoko acts truly selflessly when she tries to get Madoka and Sayaka to understand the realities of being a magical girl, which is so interesting considering she is so adamant that she is a selfish person. All the other characters in the series want so badly to be selfless, but end up finding that in the end they are unable to get rid of that selfish part inside them. As I described earlier, Mami does this when she warps her portrayal of magical girl life, but it can also be seen in Sayaka who makes a wish to heal her crush’s incurable injury and ends up feeling cheated and jealous when he doesn’t recognize her. Sayaka sets out to be a magical girl like Mami was, and in this way she completes her goal. She strives endlessly, however hopelessly, to be selfless and eventually dies in the process. Sayaka suffers because no matter how hard she wants to be selfless she isn’t. Which isn’t to say she’s a bad person, very few people are capable of doing things that are 100% selfless, nevermind doing so all the time. But Kyoko, who is always saying how selfish she is, is the one who is able to be truly selfless by giving Madoka, and attempting to give Sayaka, the whole truth without any sugar coating so that they can make their own decisions based on what they want. Kyoko thinks she’s selfish because she doesn’t believe that fighting is something that should be done unless there is no other option, but it is actually this belief that allows her to selflessly present Madoka and Sayaka with the truth.

#puella magi madoka magica #pmmm #madohomu #madoka magica #holy quintet #madoka kaname #homura akemi #mahou shoujo madoka magica #uh idk no one is probably reading this far but if you are hi! ty! i hope you don't think im stupid now!

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freddiemerqwerty · 4 months ago

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It took over two years, but I finally finished watching the entirety of Supernatural. I took a week to process some thoughts before foisting them upon Tumblrland, so here we go!

I did not expect to like it. Specifically the ending.

The original reason this Supernatural rewatch began was to see Castiel's confession in context. I wanted to see what drove Tumblr's primary form of newscasting, what got the Supernatural fandom back from the depths of superhell, and thrust the bury your gays queerbaiting discussion to the forefront of every YouTube video essay—and to potentially seek justice for my first ever gay ship, good ol' Destiel. It is for this reason that I wholeheartly did not expect leave 15 seasons of this fucking show feeling content.

This was a hard task. I wanted to stop so badly. I don't think I could tell you a single season I liked the plot of. HOWEVER, it did teach a valuable lesson: if you're looking for good representation in Supernatural, you're looking in the wrong place. This applies to even to show's representations of itself.

Supernatural should have ended 11 seasons before it did, and yet, much like nearly every character in the show, it just keeps on coming. Season 12 nearly did me in, but oh? Season 13-15? It was worth it to get to the seasons where the target demographic was literally anyone who would watch the show. The main plot? Nope. The filler? Yes. I loved so many episodes from these seasons! Scoobynatural, Advanced Thanatology, Tombstone, The Scorpion and the Frog, Various & Sundry Villains, Optimism, Peace of Mind, Atomic Monsters, Golden Time, Last Call, The Heroes' Journey, The Gamblers, Last Holiday.

Cass's confession made me absolutely bawl my eyes out for the remaining episodes of Supernatural (I was a blubbering little ball, throwing in a good few mutterings about Our Flag Means Death along the way) However, in the end, it just felt right that it should end this way. Not in terms of good queer representation, not in terms of my love of Destiel, but this is what the characters each needed.

Death means nothing on Supernatural because of the ways characters need each other to keep going. Cass telling Dean how he feels means he can let go. Dean getting permission from Sam to stop fighting death means he can let go. Sam living out a full life away from hunting means he can let go. All the characters have what they need so we as an audience can let go.

As much as I will still very much struggle to sit through the main plot points of Supernatural, the characters will always have a place in my heart. They just couldn't die, couldn't fully fit the original format of the show, and just kept finding family (and trauma) in literally everything. I'm glad they're resting well.

I final note I absolutely had to include: DEAN IS SO BISEXUAL THE ENTIRE SHOW! I somehow thought "oh maybe we've been exaggerating this". No, no. I—I... I have problems now. Problems that can only be resolved with getting back into the Supernatural fandom.

Thank you for a wild ride Supernatural. Destiel forever

#Supernatural #Supernatural Rewatch #Supernatural Season 15 #Supernatural Spoilers #Do I Even Need to Tag That #Destiel #Dean Winchester #Castiel #Cass #Sam Winchester #Spn #SpnFandom

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your-turn-to-role · 2 years ago

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so, was rewatching s1 of lovm, got to episode three again. and i'm thinking about percy's backstory. and also because of sylas briarwood, thinking about dalen's closet

and percy's got a real interesting relationship with the concept of drowning, huh

i mean first of all he's almost drowned (or actually drowned) three major times in the story. and all of those had similar themes, though different outcomes

so to explain what i mean, let's look at these in chronological order

1) the river. one of the worst days of his life, if not the actual worst. watching your entire family murdered, being locked up and tortured, your siblings bodies dumped in the cells next to you, just to rub it in. after weeks of this, you learn your youngest sister is alive, and she helps you escape, it's the first tiny bit of hope you've had. and then they kill her. you realise you're on your own all over again. you're hurt and you're lost and you don't know what to do, you run because you can't do anything else. and then you trip and before you know it you're in water and it's freezing and you can't breathe or move and you're so scared and so tired- and you don't remember much after that

when that fishing boat finds percy, he's basically in a fugue state, he has no idea what's going on and is barely responding to anything, his mind just couldn't take it anymore and left. and it doesn't get any better when he comes back to himself, because he survived, but for what. they're all gone. he couldn't do anything about it. he couldn't even save his sister like she saved him

and yes, they eventually save whitestone, and get cass back, but that experience stays with him

because then we get 2) duskmeadow.

percy's just learned that ripley bought up near industrial amounts of gunpowder, and he's terrified. he doesn't know what she's planning, but he knows what she will do with his weapons will change the world for the worse. it'll get countless people killed. and he made the decision to let her go, because at the time his personal revenge mattered more to him. he's feeling that "i survived for what" more than ever, because now not only did he survive when his family didn't, he didn't deserve to be the one that survived. none of the others would have caused destruction on this scale. he's not just alive for no reason, him being alive made things worse. (this is kinda explicitly his most suicidal point in the campaign, to the point of he literally wrote a goodbye letter that evening, and then just kept it on his person knowing vox machina would find it when his mistakes inevitably got him killed)

and so he goes to ask the raven queen for help. he's not yet reached the point where he's stopped trusting in gods (this meeting is about to be what sparks that), and he knows she's helped vax, so maybe she can help him, tell him how to fix this, he'll do anything

but there's only one way to talk to the raven queen. and that's to willingly let yourself drown in the communion pool.

and he tries, he tries so hard. he's putting every bit of trust he has in the raven queen right now, that this will be okay. but it's freezing and he can't breathe and he's so scared and so tired and all he can think about is how he survived and he shouldn't have, and then he has a panic attack. the only reason it eventually works is because he hits his head on the stone of the pool and then he's too confused and hurt to fight it

and when he finally talks to her, she tells him he can't fix it. that he was a broken person right from the start.

so far his two experiences with drowning have not only caused him lasting trauma around the whole experience, but continually affirmed that he's not only incapable of saving anyone he cares about, he actually makes the situation worse just by getting involved. and drowning honestly in itself makes a pretty good metaphor for how overwhelming and out of his control all of this is

but 3) dalen's closet. god, this was so good for percy and vex in so many ways, you can keep meta-ing about this episode for years. and in this case, sylas' attempt to murder vex and percy? chain them up and drop them from a cliff into the ocean

they're both drowning. there's no easy way out, and no one around who could rescue them

their attempts to free themselves, while clever, don't work

vex loses consciousness

it's just percy, alone, about to lose the person he loves most in the world, again. to a man who only knew vex even existed because percy got her involved

and percy doesn't panic

by all rights he should have, he's certainly got more than enough reason to. but he manages to stay calm enough to figure out a way to get his head above water, and to yell for help, because his fault or no he is not losing anyone else

and because of that, their friends can find them in time. he didn't get vex killed, he saved her

he's not helpless underwater anymore. and he's certainly not broken beyond repair. and it's only now that he's come far enough to realise that

#i think the fact that he has a daughter in dalen's closet also helps #she's only a few months old but she means the world to him #and she's proof that not everything he's ever created is evil #anyway i love him #cr1 #percy de rolo #meta #cr thoughts

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almacambiondaughterofsaleos · 3 months ago

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Was rewatching HB and during Stolas and Stella's argument at the end of 'the circus', Stolas says "I would feel bad if I hurt you, but we both know I didn't do that. You and I were arranged for one reason, to birth a precautionary heir to the Goetia Family. Nothing more."

I'm sorry, but this doesn't sit well with me. Stolas seems to think that because he and Stella weren't in love, his cheating didn't hurt her in any way, which is idiotic. I mean, if Stella used the same excuse, "well you didn't love me, so my insults didn't hurt you" I'm sure Stolas would rightfully find that insulting. Sure she didn't love Stolas but how can he not understand that his cheating, particularly with an imp would reflect poorly on Stella and effect her life and be horribly insulting. Yes the Goetia's classist/bigoted view of imps is wrong, but Stolas should know that by sleeping with Blitz he is pretty much saying Stella is less than an imp to him, so pretty much garbage. And he publicly continues the affair before he even starts the divorce, which only disrespects her more.

Also, Stella didn't love him either, yet she stayed faithful. No, she shouldn't have been so awful to him, but in the very least she kept up her side of the deal.

Him speaking over her, assuming what he did, didn't hurt her, even though her furious behavior clearly shows otherwise, is not something he only does to Stella. He does very similar things to his daughter and particularly Blitz.

He acts like Blitz is delusional for thinking he could possibly look down on him, despite his past actions and the society they grew up in. He assumes that because he personally didn't think he looked down on Blitz that's just the reality of the situation and invalidates his feelings. The same way he presumes he couldn't possibly have hurt Stella simply because they weren't in love, as if that alone is the only way she could have been upset by his cheating.

I mean, Stolas even tries to tell her how she feels by saying they 'both' know he didn't hurt her. Like dude, you can't just decide how your actions affected someone and considering she's been throwing things and screaming at you about how upset she is, I think that probably means you hurt her somehow. At least fucking ask how she feels and why before jumping to conclusions, particularly to a conclusion that means you don't have to feel any guilt about hurting someone.

It comes off as hypocritical when he chastises Blitzo for not feeling any remorse for what he does, but he frequently does that and even states to his wife he doesn't feel any remorse for what he did to her because he feels he didn't hurt her. Again it's easy to side with him when it's against Stella cause she's made to be a hate sink but when you notice the other people he interacts with it becomes clear that this guy has issues. It shows he's a narcissist pos who declares whose feelings he hurts and denies he's done anything that would make him look like the bad guy. Heck even before this episode in retrospect you can see how with Octavia he tries to absolve himself of what happened with the cheating incident in episode 2 because he doesn't fully understand how much this affair has affected her and still doesn't understand. It's like with Blitzo he doesn't understand what he's done is wrong to make him not believe he's sincere about a relationship and still feels entitled he should have his feelings returned. The guy really is a thick headed prick who really is far up his ass and it's no wonder Stella hates him. It's not because he's a so-called nice guy it's because he really doesn't understand people and probably would have frustrated Stella so much in their marriage. So yes, Stolas as I have been saying did hurt Stella despite his attempts at denying it because that would mean he has to be wrong for doing it and Vivziepop refuses to see anything on the cheated wife's side except make her an abuser to excuse the cheating bastard.

#helluva boss #helluva boss critical #vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism #vivziepop #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism #hazbin hotel #anti-vivziepop #hazbin hotel critical #stolas #stolas critical #octavia deserves better #octavia goetia #stella goetia #stella deserves better #blitzo #stolitz critical #stolitz

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andorianminingconsortium · 8 months ago

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Just rewatched DS9 episode "our man Bashir" (s4e10). It was thoroughly enjoyable. Here are some of my thoughts!

(I hope it is clear. English is not my first language and depression makes my brain foggy :) )

It's such a fun premise to put the real life secret agent in the holo program with someone playing 'secret agent' in a way that is compelling wrong for the real secret agent, yet (probably annoyingly) effective in this make-believe world. Almost fanfic worthy how unserious yet serious the plot of this episode is.

I love when Garak jokes, "I believe I joined the wrong intelligence agency" as a way to signal that the way Julian is playing James Bond is just not the way it goes in his lives experience. I would have liked to see Garak lean in to his role as "secret agent how it apparently works in this make believe world". I would have liked to see Garak use his real world skills in a cool way in this holo program that would have given Julian insight into the kind of person Garak was. But I also appreciate how Garak's skills are continuously (throughout DS9) kept vague and are only really shown when it's an extremely important matter that Garak needs to help with. It fits with his character that he doesn't use his Obsidian Order skills willy-nilly (in a holo program at that).

I like how Garak was willing to sacrifice the crew that was kept in the holodeck program to safe himself (and Julian). It stays true to his morally grey alignment. It was a nice touch. But then when Bashir harms Garak, Garak finally sees Bashir is taking this seriously and Garak helps him again. This is interesting because Garak earlier commented that Bashir should stop seeing things as a game. It might make the audience think that Garak was only pretending to be willing to sacrifice the other crew to teach Bashir how serious everything was. Interesting!

I also liked when Julian and Garak had their argument about why allegedly Garak was not enjoying his time pretending to be a James Bond-esque secret agent. I don't remember exactly what was said but I feel like Julian dropped some good truths and gave Garak a good read. On the one hand it's fitting for Garak that he did not really retaliate or confirme/denied anything Julian accused (?) him of or ascribed to him. On the other hand I would have loved for there to have been a slightly deeper discussion between the two that might have revealed something about how Garak thought about his time with the Obsidian Order and how it impacted him even now. I would have like to be able to infer from the argument how Garak reflects on himself (as (former) Obsidian Order agent), in a way. But maybe he said something about which other people from the audience (you) have different takes? I'd like to hear them.

I think the most important quote Garak said, assuming from how the episode was written, is when Garak said that he had learned when the odds are against someone that someone should recognise it and choose to walk away and that that has kept Garak alive while his colleagues aren't. I think it is a most important line because Julian uses it to basically "win" the episode or the holodeck game. The quote saves him and Garak. Now the quote in itself is interesting. Is Garak a coward? Is he someone who gives up too quickly? Judging from the episode, we might think yes. But as I said before, maybe Garak only pretended to give up to teach Julian something. Is Garak simply very situationally aware? I think so. I think he is very intelligent. I think with the quote itsself, Garak triwd to teach Julian a different point of view. I think Garak hoped Julian would understand him better andI think at the end, Julian did. I choose to read this with gay subtext, as I always do for Julian and Garak of course. I also think "knowing when to walk away" is such an interesting and almost painful skill to have. I can imagine someone who wants to fight and tries his very best to fight. Or to win. To safe people. But at some point you have to learn when to stop. When to walk away. It's a very mature skill to have. I think it's the difference between burning yourself to keep others warm and having the respect for yourself to know when to be "selfish". It might be very interesting to compare this with Cardassian society but I haven't done a recent deep dive into that so I'll leave that to someone else. Anyway it's a skill I can only respect and I do not think any less of Garak for knowing when enough is enough. I think if we look at his character as a whole, it fits him that such a 'tragic' (not heroic?) skill is one that is highlighted and important to him. Interesting!

I don't know if anyone finds this interesting but I love talking about cool Star Trek episodes and doing a bit of a deep dive/analysis. Feel free to share your opinions as well! I'd love a friendly discussion/conversation! So... As always,

Thank you for reading!

#star trek #star trek deep space nine #deep space 9 #deep space nine #our man bashir #julian bashir #elim garak #garak #doctor bashir #garak x bashir #gashir #julian x garak #episode analysis #star trek analysis

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ygodmyy20 · 1 year ago

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Opps this post got forgotten! But if I don't post it today when will I!?

Okay so, I've been thinking for awhile on the question: why do I like terumob and why did it take over my brain? What is it about it...what caught my interest. As someone who was very NOT into ships when i first got into mp100, why did I crashland into this one?

This post has been in progress for like....weeks now? Nearly a month? 3 months? Yea.

Okay so. Here we go. THOUGHTS! On terumob and why the fuck I like it. Below the cut.

Like I mentioned, when I first finished Mob Psycho 100 in June of this year I wasn't into any ship. I was actually REALLY NOT into ships. I really liked gen. I wanted to explore the characters and I loved the complex relationships between everyone but I didn't want it to be overshadowed by romance. I purposely steered clear of any and all ship art.

But then I started to see some TeruMob fanart and I was like "Aw man, they are so cute and squishy." And I started to like them....just a lil bit. ONLY A LITTLE BIT.

BUT then I read more Teru-centric fics, read Teru analysis' and then I was like. Oh shit, Teru is 100% so into Mob it's like....this kid has it bad. He has a major crush. And even on the rewatch I am like WOW yep, confirmed in my brain, Teru has it bad. The subtext of his pinning is JUST so there for me. I didn't even have to look hard for it. I suddenly was very in on the Teru-one-sidded part of the ship.

But here's the thing, I'm not a big fan of ships like that... feels too unrequited. Hard for me to really like it. I need to have some level of something from both sides. Just how I am.

So that still leaves the question.

When and how does Shiego liking Teru work? Is there any subtext for that or am I just making it all up because I want the ship to work for me?

(which also is fine ya'll, no judgement if you ship two characters that barely interact, thats the fun of fandom stuff!)

I mean, all things considered, Shigeo likes Tsubomi. Scratch that, he REALLY likes Tsubomi. Shiego loves very strongly, like all his emotions. And he definitely likes Teru, they are good friends, so I kept thinking: where and how does that cross into a crush to me, for these characters?

Teru cares a lot, he adores Shigeo—Shigeo is kind, he is powerful, he is everything Teru wants to be. But are there places where I see this same level of intensity from Shigeo?

Annnnnnnnd then I got to their fight in season 3.

Everything Shiego did to Teru was so pointed. So raw and angry. Like I said, I think Shigeo feels his feelings very strongly and, I don't know, just the fact that he PERSUED Teru to humiliate him EXACTLY in the same way again, tells me that their first meeting had an intense impact on him. We don't see a lot of his feelings on his meeting with Teru, besides the brief ??? in that episode. After meeting Teru, it's just...life goes on as normal for them. But deep down I don't think Shigeo ever really tackled his complex feelings about Teru and their first meeting.

So it all comes out, its all be stewing for AGES, and what comes out is mean. It's aggressive. It's almost sarcastic? It's what happens when we let things chew us up inside and comes out all twisted.

Teru evoked such a strong reaction from Shigeo, even if Shigeo didn't admit it or express it, that I can't help but think, after things have settled, after he has spent more time adjusting to his whole self...after they both take time to really examine themselves and grow....

....that Shigeo wouldn't develop stronger feelings for this boy who also turned his world upside down. Who made him feel such strong emotions, who changed his world too.

Teru was forever changed by meeting another esper his age.

I think Shiego was too.

And I think where I started to love them was after the finale, after Teru's acceptance of Shiego for who he was.

I don't want to pigeonhole any of the espers into only being able to date other espers. But I also....yes, Shiego is a normal kid, but he is also Shiego.

Teru is a person who understands the strength it takes to keep that power, who has seen Shiego at all sides. His best and his worst.

But gosh this scene....

OUGHGGH

JUST THROW ME IN A RIVER WHY DON"T YOU

Yeah this whole scene just.....just yea. OUGH.

But yeah I just feel like Teru's crush would only grow after that. He would see Shigeo as a person over an all powerful esper.

While I like to think Shigeo's would develop over time and them smack into him like a runaway freight train. Because Shigeo FEELS so strongly, for all his emotions. He feels sadness strongly, he feels love strongly, he feels anger strongly—he just feels everything SO strongly. That is why he is powerful, that is why he is who he is, that is why ??? became what it is.

Anyway. My thoughts have ended and that's all i got. Thanks for coming to my ted talk of rambling mess that has been in progress for months that I realized whelp with the anniversary of the end of S3 nearly here, mind as well post it.

#mp100 analysis #terumob #maybe not analysis #more like how did I get here #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #rambeling #rambling thoughts that need to get out of my brain #god damn these two and their UGH feelings #shigeo kageyama #teruki hanazawa

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true-illusion · 6 months ago

Text

So, I finally got round to watching the new Doctor Who season.

I had lost interest since Clara became the companion and after Peter Capaldi was the Doctor. I only watched two episodes of Jodi Whitaker - the first episode and the one with John Barrowman and Jo Martin. I thought both episodes were rubbish. Plus, it took effort to find and download the show, so I stopped watching. I haven’t gotten round to the Tennant specials cos I thought they were just nostalgia bait.

So, I was very sceptical, going in to Ncuti Gatwa’s era. I worried it would be another snooze fest that was more interested in being PC and box-ticking than telling a good story. But I had nothing else to do, and it was on Disney, so I turned it on.

IT WAS SO GOOD. I binge watched the whole thing in two days.

I could definitely see Russell T. Davis’ hand in it. It felt like the Eccleston and Tennant era episodes. It was exciting and fun and funny, but not too silly. They made a social point without being too preachy. Ncuti Gatwa is growing on me - I think the binge watching format made it harder to sink in that, "yes, he’s the Doctor". But I’m getting there.

But, I think it was Ruby that carried the season. There were quite a few Rose-type moments. But she was different enough to be her own person. I liked Ruby overall. She was sweet, she felt genuine, and she was not forced into that “sassy/arrogant” characterisation. I was invested in her story.

Her mum was not bad - Jackie Tyler was still better, imo, cos though she had a heart of gold, she still had her flaws. Ruby’s mum was just too perfect. Gran was hilarious though. I want more scenes with Gran just waiting for someone to finally give her a cuppa.

[ALERT: SPOILERS AHEAD]

Some episodes were better than others. Episode 2 “The Devil’s Chord” was AMAZING; it is the episode I want to go back and rewatch. They should have incorporated “American Pie” into it at some point. Haha! Jinkx Monsoon as the Maestro was brilliant. It was so larger-than-life and over-the-top, it was fantastic. Only thing I hated was the twist song at the end. Cringe.

Episode 5 “Dot and Bubble” was also amazing because of how disturbing it was. How people cannot function - cannot look at the world, can't even walk - without the devices, how Lindy sacrificed Ricky to save herself, how they refused to let the Doctor save them in the end. It felt like a reflection of our society and the trajectory we could be on.

Episode 1 “Space Babies” was pretty lame. If I had seen that first instead of the Christmas episode, I might have not continued. The babies were just cringe, and the snot monster… ugh. Plus, with the space station and giving Ruby universal roaming which she immediately called her mum with - it was a bit too much like Eccleston’s Doctor and Rose’s first outing.

The Christmas episode itself also wasn’t great, but it introduced the characters and the season's central mystery well, and got me interested in them. The episode reminded me of Labyrinth. “Magic Dance” kept running through my head. The bad-luck goblins were funny. Unfortunately, this Goblin King is no David Bowie. Also, no sinister robot Santas or killer Christmas trees that were a staple of past Christmas specials. It irked me a bit that the entire season’s central mystery might have been solved if the Doctor had just went up to Ruby’s mother then. He knew she was looking for her mother. He knew they couldn’t go back cos he couldn’t cross his own timeline. So why didn’t he go to her?? (Ok, then there wouldn’t be drama for the rest of the season. Lol!)

Episode 3 “Boom” was also weak. It tried to deal with strong themes - war, family, faith. It introduced interesting technology. But the story itself doesn’t hold up too well. The way the war started and continued was just too far fetched. I thought it was cool that majority of the thing took place just in that one crater though.

Meanwhile, other episodes left question marks. Episode 4 “73 Yards” was good (I loved the Welsh landscape), but a bit too much of building up to something and then it’s an anticlimax. Eg the people at the pub building up to some horror movie scenario, and then it was just some delivery person at the door. Roger just running away and giving up politics just like that? Maybe I just wasn’t paying full attention, but it was a bit too timey-wimey and weird. What was it that the woman said to all those people to make them run away screaming? Was she really Ruby all along? Where was the Doctor all that time?

And episode 6 “Rogue”… silly story with the cosplaying aliens, but it was a nice bit of fun after “Dot and Bubble”. It made me laugh the way they kept referencing Bridgerton, and how the characters were all about the Drama, with a capital D. The resolution of Ruby pretending to be the Chuldur was very disappointing bait-and-switch. But I love Rogue. I want to see more of him. Why couldn’t he stay? He could be the new Captain Jack Harkness (not that anyone could replace Capt Jack Harkness). Rogue and the Doctor together was something special (and not just in the sexual way). I want him as another companion. But the way it ended, I don’t think we’d see him again.

I don’t have much to say about the last two finale episodes, “The Legend of Ruby Sunday” and “Empire of Death”. It was a rollercoaster. It was intense. It was a bit too “Bad Wolf”. There was a lot going on but I’m not really sure what was happening. I liked seeing Kate from UNIT and the old companion Mel. Kate’s “sign out” line made me emotional. Unfortunately, she didn’t stay dead in the end. I also never watched the old episodes with Sutekh, so I don’t think I got it. The scale of the destruction was just too big in this story. The Doctor just randomly going down to that planet to get the spoon… why? If Sutekh could track dead skin cells then why couldn’t he get to the Doctor instead of through Mel? And just conveniently, the DNA test law pops up. Did Ruby find her mother in the database or not? The end resolution with the magic rope and thingy felt, again, like more bait-and-switch. I was intrigued about the concept of how Ruby’s mother is not actually important except that they had placed importance on her, thereby imbuing her with more worth. But I don’t get why Sutekh couldn’t see her or why he cared. But again, maybe I wasn’t paying full attention. The end ending was sweet - how the Doctor didn’t think Ruby should go talk to her mother but Ruby did it anyway and it worked out well. And then more questions at the end. Who exactly is that neighbour woman?

I hope Ruby returns next season. Honestly, I watched this season more for her than for the Doctor. I'm glad I gave this season a chance. I’ll watch next season, for sure.

#doctor who #fifteenth doctor #ruby sunday #ncuti gatwa #season review

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