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zepskies · 6 months ago

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Dream With Me - Part 3

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Plus-sized!Reader (Latina)

Summary: When your asshole ex-boyfriend calls for help on a case, you have a tough decision to make. But Dean isn’t going to let you do anything alone. AKA: The last hunt you, Sam, and Dean will ever go on together.

AN: I decided to release Part 3 a bit earlier! Now, *deep breaths* here we go, friends…

(If you missed it: Read Part 1 || Read Part 2)

Word Count: 4.5K

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only. Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, and a tinge of spice.~

☕ Midnight Espresso Masterlist

Part 3: “What Is Deserved”

Dean’s heartbeat pounds in his ears.

By the time the four of you reach the Impala, you’re in a cold sweat, pale, and barely conscious. Dean unlocks the car and carefully seats you on one side of the backseat, while Sam hurries to the other side. He then helps guide you in as Dean maneuvers you into laying across the backseat. Sam’s going to stay with you for the ride to the hospital.

“Watch her head,” Dean warns, his tone sharp.

“I got her,” Sam assures. He holds you securely against his chest, with your head tucked under his chin.

Dean lets out an unsteady breath. When he turns around, Carter’s standing too close, peering at you anxiously.

“Get her to a hospital—” he starts to say, but Dean’s blood-stained fist cuts off his words, cracking against his jaw.

Dean put all his strength into that one.

Carter cries out and goes down hard into the earthy ground. He groans, huffing dead leaves out of his face as he tries to push himself back up. He hears the sound of a gun’s safety cocking back. He looks up sharply and finds the barrel of Dean’s silver Colt.

Carter freezes where he lies. He’s wary, but not surprised. He wipes a trail of blood from the corner of his mouth from where he bit the inside of his cheek.

In that moment, Dean wrestles with a decision—with a desire that burns hot in his veins…but he knows you don’t have the time the spare, even for this.

“I’m gonna give you the biggest gift of your fucking life,” Dean growls. “Don’t let me see your face again, you hear me? Or it’s on sight.”

His thumb moves the safety back into place, and he stows away the gun. He ignores the other man’s subtle breath of relief. In fact, Dean doesn’t glance back even once as he hastens to the driver’s seat of his car.

The Impala speeds off, leaving Carter lying on a dusty ground in the middle of nowhere.

Trees and asphalt pass in a blur as Dean speeds down the narrow road. He uses the GPS on his phone to find the nearest hospital, several miles away.

Your skin is clammy. You realize it when you grab onto Sam’s arm that he has secured around you. You feel the cold sweat on your palm and between your fingers. Sam looks down at you while trying to hide his concern.

“Sam,” you whisper. It’s a struggle to get out the words, but you fight for them. “I know I don’t need to tell you to watch out for your brother, but…”

“Hey,” Sam says. His voice is just as quiet, so the rumble of the Impala hopefully masks it. He glances up and sees Dean’s determined face through the rearview mirror. His attention is on the road ahead.

“You’re gonna be okay,” Sam says to you, gently. “I know it hurts. Just hold on.”

You give a short nod, but tears still sting at your eyes. They wet your lashes and eventually slip down your cheeks.

Your hand moves down to grab his.

“I love you,” you tell him.

Sam has become your brother too, in every way that counts. He knows it, just as he knows that you’re the sister he never thought he’d have. He squeezes your hand back and fights the emotions clogging his throat, making it tighten.

“I love you too,” he says. “Just…just hold on.”

God knows you’re trying your best.

Getting you to the hospital is just the first challenge.

Then it’s Dean having to let go of your hand, having to let the medical staff take you away from him on a gurney, rolling you down the hall and past a wall of doors he can’t follow.

Dean stands in the middle of the Emergency Room hallway half-covered in your blood. He feels at a loss, in a way that reminds him of a day just like this. It reminds him of Lisa.

They were gunning for you. Of course, it’s your fucking fault.

Yeah, that’s familiar territory too. It reminds him of every reason he hesitated to start anything with you in the first place.

Dean’s jaw locks, teeth clenched, and there’s a well of unrest inside him that’s never going to be calm.

Then Sam is there at his side. He lays a supportive hand on Dean’s back and guides him towards the waiting room.

And it’s an incredible wait.

Hours in the making, where Dean sits in an uncomfortable chair with a half-inch cushion after trying to clean himself up in the bathroom. He holds his head in his hands.

He’s had more than a few what the fuck moments in his life, but this just doesn’t feel real.

This time, there’s no Cas to swoop in and heal you. There’s no Rowena with a spell, and Jack…

Dean’s been praying ever since he carried you out of that barn, but Jack’s not answering. Dean frowns, and in his frustration, he grunts and pushes off his knees to stand. He begins to pace without truly realizing it.

Sam watches his brother with both sympathy and pain.

“They’re taking fucking forever,” Dean grouses. “We should’ve heard something by now. I’m gonna find somebody, get an update.”

Sam sighs. “Dean—”

But he knows it’s no use. He watches his brother go to flag down a nurse. She nods patiently, but Sam overhears her give Dean the same answer he heard the first two times he asked about you.

“The doctor will come down to update you once she’s out of surgery.”

Dean’s frustration is visibly mounting when he paces back into the waiting room. Sam once again tries to give him a supportive word, but Dean just shakes his head and sinks heavily into the seat next to his brother.

He holds a fist over his mouth, for a long moment, just staring at a thin crack in the beige tile floor. Behind his eyes, the entire scene plays out again. Finding you in the barn, freeing you, thinking to himself that he could finally breathe, knowing he’d keep you safe.

And then, the way you’d saved him, throwing yourself at that vampire. Dean fighting tooth and nail afterward, and still, finding you unable to raise yourself off the rusty metal blade lodged into your body.

Dean’s face tightens grimly while he digs the heels of his hands into his eyes. Sam’s heavy grip falls on his shoulder, squeezing in silent support and commiseration. Dean can’t really allow himself to be comforted. All he feels is a deep pit of turmoil. And guilt.

“She didn’t, uh…she didn’t want this,” Dean says. He looks down at his hands now hanging in his lap.

Sam tilts his head, taking in a deep breath. “Carter tricked her. He knew what would get her out here, and us.”

Dean shakes his head. “No. I mean she didn’t want to do this anymore.”

He meets his brother’s now confused gaze.

“She wants to quit the life,” Dean says. “Been talking about…retiring. The house, the white fence, a friggin’ yard for the dog, the…the 2.5 kids. Apple Pie Central.”

Sam raises his brows, especially at the mention of kids. His lips twitch at the thought. He realizes then that he wants that for his brother. Even though the look on Dean’s face has Sam dimming.

“What did you say to that?” Sam asks.

Dean’s sigh is heavy. He rubs between his eyes, at the mounting ache there.

“I’m the Job, Sam. Clearly I’m only good at one fucking thing, and it’s slicing throats,” he says. “I couldn’t even protect her. Not with Chuck. And not now.”

Sam’s brows draw together, disheartened.

“Dean…”

“It’s true, Sam,” Dean replies. “And I’ve tried. I’ve tried that retirement shit before. You remember what happened there, right?”

Sam’s lips purse, and he shakes his head.

“It’s different now. Chuck is gone, Dean. We made that happen—”

He’s using your argument without knowing, almost verbatim. Somehow, it twists the knife deeper into Dean’s heart.

“And what about the rest of the monsters, huh?” he says hotly. “Do we just take a sabbatical on all the evil sons of bitches still left out there?”

“We’re not the only two hunters in the world, Dean,” Sam replies. “There’s always going to be another hunt, and another hunter to take it on. If you wanted to get out, I would understand.”

Dean looks at his brother harder then. He knows that Sam has been seeing Eileen more seriously for the past couple of months. After a snap of Jack’s fingers brought the world back to equilibrium, the two had found one another again.

Dean starts to wonder if Sam has started thinking thoughts of retirement too—of a life beyond hunting.

“But besides all that,” Sam continues. He grips Dean’s shoulder. “You really think hunting is all there is to you?”

Dean’s gaze falls, again down to his empty hands. By now, he’s scrubbed them clean of your blood until his skin felt raw.

He doesn’t have an answer for Sam, but he’ll be damned if he loses you like this.

Dean gets up abruptly, somewhat startling his brother.

“Need some coffee,” he says.

Dean leaves Sam in the waiting room to find a relatively quiet hallway. It’s late at night. He’s dirty as hell and hasn’t eaten or slept in damn near a day. He’s running on stubborn will and determination as his fists clench at his sides. He lifts his gaze heavenward.

All right, Jack. I know you’re hearin’ me. I need your half-angelic ass, right now. She needs you. So can you please just—

Suddenly, a nurse passing by him in the hall freezes where she stands. Dean jolts a bit, but when he turns his head, he finds Jack Kline standing there, in the same clothes he wore when he ascended into heaven. Some khakis, an off-white shirt, and a jacket Sam bought for him.

“Hello, Dean,” Jack says, with a slight smile.

Dean is relieved, but he’s also angry. “Damn it, man. What took you so long?”

“I’ve been…busy,” Jack says cryptically.

Dean doesn’t really give two shits where the supercharged Nephilim has been.

“Okay, well, we need your help. She needs your help,” Dean says, pointing towards the doors that lead to the operating room.

Jack nods, his eyes lowering.

“I know, Dean,” he says. “She’s in the veil right now.”

Dean’s heart clenches. His entire body stills.

“What?” he says.

Though he knows what Jack is saying. Dean’s been “in the veil” once or twice himself. It’s that in-between place. That limbo-like plane of existence for human souls, between life and the afterlife.

“Fix her,” Dean growls. “Fix her right now.”

“I can’t,” Jack says. He looks apologetic, even in conflict with himself. “I told you, I’m hands-off.”

“Hands-off, my ass!” Dean snaps. “You have all the power in the world, and no good reason not to help her!”

“Dean,” Jack tries, but the other man makes a cutting motion with his hand. He draws closer to Jack with intimidating steps, even though the Nephilim has no reason to fear him.

“Before you were…this,” Dean says, gesturing at his “godly” form, “you were family. Part of our family. And family’s what matters. Matter of fact, she looked out for you, protected you, treated you like a little brother.”

Jack’s gaze falls toward his feet.

“After all we’ve been through, after what she’s been through, she don’t deserve this. Not from you,” Dean says. “Help her.”

When Jack looks up again, his face is still apologetic.

“Dean, it’s the natural order—”

“Screw the natural fucking order!” Dean shouts, pointing at Jack. “And screw you. Another dickless fucking coward trying to play God.”

Jack sighs. He turns, as if about to leave. It makes Dean realize, with a tremor of panic, that he’s about to lose maybe the only chance he has to save you. He rushes forward and grabs Jack’s arm over his jacket.

“Hey, wait, wait. Look, Jack. Please,” he implores. He doesn’t realize that his eyes are red, and starting to shine. “Please. Come on, man. I won’t ask you for anything else as long as I live, and I’ll swear by that. But you’ve gotta save her.”

Jack gives Dean one last look of sadness.

And he disappears.

The world returns to full speed, with the nurse passing by Dean with a mere glance at him. He stares at her in disbelief. He realizes that he’s alone in the hallway.

His fury grows, and it grows. It burns hot in his blood.

It bubbles over and has him punching a hole straight into the wall, white paint and plaster giving way. He yanks out his aching hand and storms back towards the waiting room.

There, he finds Sam standing with a doctor, who wears a look that tells Dean to brace himself.

Dean stares at your face. It’s still much paler than usual. You lie in a hospital bed heavily sedated, where you’re hooked to an IV and a couple of different monitors. The right side of your neck is heavily bandaged, and the blankets (and your hospital gown) cover the many stitches and bandages that span your right side.

“We’ve given her several liters of blood,” the doctor had said. “I’m going to be honest with you, we nearly lost her on the table, twice. She’s in a very delicate state, but we will monitor her for the next few days. If she gets through tonight, we’ll know if she’s still able to fight.”

Dean doesn’t even dare sit on the edge of your bed. Instead, he dragged a chair over to sit beside you. He’s gone from holding your hand gently, to just sitting in silence with the tumultuous darkness of his inner world.

Sam sits in the slightly more comfortable recliner seat in the corner. He flips through one of Rowena’s books in search of something that can help you, but he’s scanned the same page several times now. Neither of them has said a word for two hours.

“You hungry?” Sam asks.

Dean shakes his head. “No.”

Sam isn’t either. In fact, he’s been battling nausea all night. He just doesn’t know what else to do, for you, or his brother.

“She doesn’t deserve this,” Dean says. It echoes the words he said to Jack. This time, they’re less heated, but no less filled with conviction.

Sam looks up from the book he’s not reading. Dean doesn’t look his way, but he knows he has his brother’s attention. Dean’s curled fist covers his mouth.

“She wanted out, and I said no,” he says.

Sam frowns, disheartened. “There’s…there’s still time, Dean.”

“She wants…kids,” Dean continues, almost as if Sam had never spoken. “She wants a family. Maybe to be the mom she didn’t get to have anywhere near long enough.”

Dean has always been able to relate to you there. He remembers the way you’ve talked about your mom, often with a lot of melancholy. But only now does he think he see the reasons why you want more. Only now does he realize what you were really asking from him when you talked about quitting the life.

“Yeah, she’d be a good mom,” Sam says, his lips almost forming a smile. Dean nods, but doesn’t reply. He’s thinking too much.

“And you, uh…you’d be a good dad,” Sam adds. He manages to smile at the thought. “You did it once for me. You can do it again.”

Dean tilts his head at that in consideration. It’s not that he doesn’t like kids. He does, and deep down, he’s always wanted the same things you do. This life had just pushed him to a point where he stopped allowing himself to dream.

Dean takes in a deep breath and tries to rub the exhaustion from his face. These thoughts don’t help him right now. They only torture him more.

An alarm suddenly trills, startling both Sam and Dean as their heads perk up. They scan your heart monitor, and it looks to be flagging from red to blue as the numbers fall lower and lower.

Dean calls your name, but his movements are frantic in pressing the alarm button to call the nurses. Sam runs out of the room to actually find someone. Dean hears his voice shouting down the hall, but he’s too preoccupied with gripping your hand tight.

“Come on, baby. Fight,” he grits out. “I know you can beat this.”

His panic grows as he watches your heart rate fall lower, and lower. Tears finally sting at his eyes. His lips tremble.

“Come on, sweetheart. Stay with me,” he says, rubbing your hand between both of his. He lowers down to rest a hand on your head, and he presses a kiss above your brow. “We’ll do it all, you understand me. I’ll build the damn cabin myself if I have to. Three bedrooms. Hell, make it five. We’ll get so damn busy, you’re gonna get sick of me.”

And if you were awake, you’d know exactly what kind of busy he’s talking about. You know him so well. Besides Sam, there’s no one else in the world left to know him like you do.

And your voice, your touch, the way you make him coffee with a double hit of espresso, the way you cook for him and Sam because you love to feed them. The way that, even when you’re fighting with Dean, frustrating him beyond belief, you never stop protecting him, as much as he tries to do for you.

You’re his, in every way. It scares him like hell, what he might become without you.

“Come on,” Dean begs, this time squeezing your hand. “Come on…”

Sam rushes back into the room. Footsteps are following him down the hall.

And then, everything stops.

Everything, except for Sam and Dean.

Your monitors stop beeping out of control, freezing your heart rate where it sits far below where it should.

When Dean looks up in teary confusion, Jack stands on the other side of your bed. He gives Dean a gentle smile.

“You were right,” he says. “Family is what’s most important.”

Jack reaches out and gently touches your forehead. In a mere moment, you take in a deeper, more natural breath. Your eyes slide open and find Jack. It confuses you. Your mouth opens to say his name, but Dean squeezing your hand draws your attention. Your gaze softens.

“Dean?” you say.

He’s able to smile, even though his eyes are red, and a tear draws down his cheek. He hastens to wipe it away.

“Hey, baby,” he says. “How do you feel?”

Your brows furrow as you contemplate his question. “Fine, I…”

You remember then that you shouldn’t feel fine. You look up at Jack again, and as your memory of yesterday slowly returns to you, you realize then what he’s done. He hears the words you hold inside before you can say them out loud. He smiles.

You’re welcome, he replies in your mind. Then he gives Sam and Dean one last warm look.

“Take care of each other,” Jack says. Then he disappears, without even a flash of light. He’s just gone.

The world once again kicks into high gear. You’re forced to pretend to be asleep when two nurses flood into your room. Sam and Dean apologize for a false alarm when they see that your heart monitor and your other vitals are steady, and even stronger than before.

When the nurses leave, you’re able to open your eyes and sit up normally. Sam comes to sit on your other side, and you reach for his hand while offering him a smile. Dean brushes your hair back to gently peel away the bandage on your neck.

Your skin is smooth underneath. Dean helps you do the same for the wrapping around your waist, after you peel back the covers and raise a corner of your hospital gown for him to see. Your wounds are completely gone.

Dean huffs a breath of relief, his brows drawing together. You hold your hand to his cheek and give him a softer smile.

“I’m okay,” you promise him.

You wipe under his eye, where the tracks of his distress have remained. Dean wastes no more time. He gathers you into his arms and bows to claim your lips. You give him the comfort he needs, while melting into him with the same passion.

When he pulls away though, he has to wipe the tears from your eyes. The back of his hand brushes down your cheek.

“You scared the shit outta me,” he says.

You manage to stifle a laugh, but not your smile. “My bad.”

He steals another kiss, a bit softer this time.

“I love you,” he says. His voice is gruff, but no less genuine.

You let out a sigh, while more tears brim in your eyes.

“I love you too,” you nod.

While you soothe him with your fingers slipping through his hair, his lips press into your shoulder. He meets Sam’s teary smile with one of his own.

You’re staying with him. That’s all that matters.

Six months later, the bedroom you once shared with Dean in the bunker is nearly empty. All that’s left are the nightstands, the old metal bed frame, and a bare mattress. Everything else is coming with you into the new place—a cabin-style house you and Dean found together in Lawrence.

Sam and Eileen have their own little place in the city as well, just a couple miles away.

It’s bittersweet to see this room in the bunker stripped bare, but you still smile as you survey it all with your arms crossed.

Dean’s hands startle you when they smooth around the curve of your waist from behind. You jump a little, but you smile when he kisses your neck.

“Reminiscing?” he asks, his eyes dancing. “Some damn good times here. Some damn good magic.”

You laugh at how he uses your words (and playfully slaps your ass), but you have to agree. You turn your head to kiss his cheek.

“Just thinking about how we’re gonna make some more magic in the new place,” you tease. “We won’t have a sink in the bedroom anymore though.”

Dean nods at that, holding you more securely against his chest.

“True. So convenient,” he says ruefully.

You stroke his arms wrapped around you. You begin to tingle with nerves inside as an idea strikes you. It’s the perfect time…

“I need to have a discussion with you,” you say. Dean’s smile grows against your neck.

“A discussion, huh? Sounds serious,” he says.

“It is,” you say. Though part of you is playful, you really are serious. You turn in his arms so he can see the gravity of your gaze.

Dean tilts his head, sensing your shift.

“Hmm, okay,” he says.

You untangle yourself from his arms so you can lead him over to the bare mattress, where you sit him down. His hands slide down to your jean-clad thighs while yours fall on his shoulders.

“Wait here,” you say.

Dean quirks a brow, but he lets you walk away, over to your empty nightstand. You pull out something wrapped in tissue paper.

You unwrap it and hold it up for his view.

Dean’s eyes widen when he sees those two pink lines. He takes the little white stick from you and looks up at your face in pure shock and awe.

“Holy shit,” he utters, making you laugh. He sets the little test aside so he can quickly grab your waist, once again pulling you in close. “You sure?”

“I’ve done it three times. I’m fairly certain,” you say with a smile. One that shines brighter with your burgeoning tears. You frame his face with your hands. “We did it, baby.”

After just about three months of trying, you’re already pregnant.

That reality sinks into Dean as he falls deeper into shock. You start to frown at his silence though. Your thumbs brush his stubbled cheeks.

“You’re, um…you’re happy, right?” you ask.

His gaze flicks up to yours. Seeing the uncertainty there breaks him out of his shock. His expression eases with a smile. He tugs you even closer by your hips, and he presses a kiss above your navel, over your shirt.

“Yeah, sweetheart. I am,” he replies, even as his deep voice breaks slightly on the last word.

Your smile grows, and you bend down for a searing kiss that Dean matches with all the emotions coursing through him; excitement, a tremor of anxiety, but mostly love. It’s nearly overwhelming in his chest, because he never thought he’d get to have this.

He’s damn grateful it’s with you.

He grips you tighter on reflex, and he brings you down onto the mattress so he can roll on top. He smirks in light of your giggling, brushing your hair out of your eyes and caressing your cheek.

He captures your lips for another heated kiss, one that grows into another, and a few more for good measure. Your hands slip down his back to squeeze his ass for once. His growing length finds friction through his jeans and between your legs, making him groan.

“How about we make sure it sticks,” he suggests between kisses. He trails them hot and wet down your neck.

“I don’t think it works like that,” you breathe, though you smile as you slip your fingers through his hair. Dean smirks against your skin.

“Huh. Worth a shot, right?” he quips. He curls one of your thick thighs over his hip and rocks into you just enough to start driving you crazy. Already you feel his clothed erection pressing against your center. Your core begins to pulse in response, needing him.

You shove the layer of plaid off his shoulders, and he helps you with the undershirt as well. He starts to divest you of your layers, down to your bra, where he kisses a familiar path down between your breasts.

Just for a moment though, you hold his face and make sure he’s paying attention, despite your panting breaths mingling with his.

“Thank you,” you say. “I didn’t think I would ever get to…”

Tears well up in your eyes again, and this time, Dean catches them when they fall. He shakes his head and brushes them away with his thumb.

“That’s my line, baby,” he says. “Whatever’s up next, this is it. It’s you and me.”

He takes your left hand, which already holds the weight of a silver ring. His own holds one to match. You’re now officially his in every way.

Your smile already agrees with what he said.

It’s you and me.

But you also nod and guide his hand down to your belly.

“Yeah,” you say. “It’s us.”

Dean hums in approval at that. A softer smile takes over his features, before he lowers down to your lips, so he can finish what he started.

You and Dean still don’t have all of the “retirement plan” mapped out just yet, but for now, this is a damn good start.

AN: I promised a happy ending, and this is the happiest I could think of! 💗 Hopefully this provides a smoother transition to the story In Bad Weather, though I'll never say no to coming back to these two. 😘

Let me know what you thought of this little ride in the Midnight Espresso-verse!~ ☕

Read From the Beginning:

Want to go back to the beginning of this series? Start with “Midnight Espresso”:

Summary: You’ve never taken Dean’s flirting seriously…until he asks you for an impromptu Spanish lesson.

▶️ First Story: Midnight Espresso

Ko-Fi Me ☕

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rosemariad · 3 months ago

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THE BITTER END | SPN 15x18 DESPAIR: About that Destiel moment in 15x18

Oh boy…the scene that sailed a thousand memes (and counting)…the scene that made us all go feral in the midst of a contentious presidential elections in one of the most disruptive, chaotic years in recent memory (2020 you son of a bitch)

Now i am super late with this since it’s nearly been 4 years since this was aired live on TV and posted like crazy all over the internet BUT…y’all Destiel shippers got robbed. Not just with this scene but the whole Destiel ship in general - just done so dirty.

I started watching this show on and off back in 2021 and I finally got to finish over the summer this year (2024) taking my sweet time, even rewatching certain episodes (for some fanfic writing 😁). I went into this to settle the debate for myself - is this Destiel stuff legit? Or was it taken out of context? Misconstrued.

No. It really wasn’t. They (the powers behind SPN) tried it, tried to pull the wool over people’s heads, with certain fans chiming in (the destiel haters, the homophobes, the anti-mishas, etc.) but no. The SPN showrunners fucked all this up.

From the beginning….

So it’s 15x18 despair - we’re in the last act - shit’s popping off, everything’s going tits up - Billie is trying to hunt Dean down, calling him chaos incarnate. Dean & Cas get trapped in a room with no apparent means of escape or defense - probably should’ve headed for the exit - but I guess since it’s the 3rd to last episode and the execs clearly want things to go back to the status quo 🙄 now’s as good a time as any to cash in on that plot thread from last season and kill Castiel once and for all 😭 (as 1 person pointed out, given the prior context they probably could've just waited Billie out, since them being trapped in that room - Cas was the one that blocked the door anyhow - but I get it SPN showrunners you wanted to get rid of Cas somehow - what a mess)

If you haven’t watched it - here’s where I gasp and scoff in disbelief - please watch it https://youtu.be/l_r9GZeQl1w?si=uVox8PlXByYEYKci

youtube

Basically Cas tells Dean he’s the greatest guy he’s ever known, that he fights for love and that Cas lurves Dean 😭 and he’s not the bad things enemies say Dean is. That he’s more than the worst parts of himself - oh Cas.

This was Castiel’s one moment of true happiness - telling the one person whom he adores more than anyone or anything else in the entire universe - that he is loved by Castiel himself.

The confession that triggers Castiel’s demise to go with the empty, takes Billie with him and before Dean can process the massive TRUTH BOMB Castiel just dumped on him, Castiel is gone.

Despair indeed.

They made too many fucking cuts to this scene, at least for Jensen’s coverage. Like if you don’t want Dean to reciprocate…fine. Don’t. But let him fucking respond! Let him use his words. Castiel just told Dean he was in love with him, that is one of the BIGGEST things you can say to somebody in your life. EVER. Especially on TV. And yes it was in love, like romantically. Not platonically because why make such a fucking fuss over fucking platonic friendship! There’s always been a tension between these 2 characters, it hung over between them since season 4. They just made it into a joke, never expecting to get the traction it did over the years. They even tried writing Cas off the show for good back in season 7. But they got stuck with Cas and never really made proper use of him. They literally just waited until the last minute to get rid of him in a way that couldn’t get the show cancelled until that decision had already been made by the network. to make things worse - COVID happened

So don’t tell me the confession doesn’t merit a response, either for or against on Dean’s part - whether he returns Castiel’s affection or not is another story but dammit let Dean speak! How could you not? Cowards!

And Would it be so terrible if Dean did feel something MORE than friendship for the only other individual that has stood by him for so many years? Like really? A relationship doesn’t demand sex (but let’s be honest, Cas probably wanted to fuck the shit outta Dean 🤣) it’s whatever the people in the relationship want! Dean isn’t young by the time s15 rolls around. Older people tend to just want someone to come home to, settle down with. Companionship. Cas fits that to a fucking T. When Dean dreamed of a future, Cas was right there with him (and Sam, cuz Dean always wants his family close as much as he can, given how he grew up).

Couldn’t find a gif of Dean talking about taking some time off after all the craziness of the hunting they do but I’m not crazy I know he wanted it.

The team behind SPN could have finished Dean’s narrative beautifully as man who was driven by fear all his life and opens himself up to a relationship he never saw coming but when the time came he didn’t run because he grew to love more than fear (and choose to live a life of peace after stuck in one of violence for so many years).

This is why Hollywood is shit! Great beginnings, shitty endings. But in this case, it was because they consistently chose NOT to indulge in queer-like narratives with enough care (aside from some other problematic stuff like the treatment towards women being more negative than positive, the inconsistent writing for characters and plot, etc.)

BUT not when it’s the main character 😡 Charlie can be gay AF but not Dean, seriously? That’s fucked. Like at least let him fucking explore/consider it. So people stop watching it who gives AF?! I never even watched the show when it was on air for 15 years, tons of people didn’t. There are still people out there watching SPN for the first time today! People who started but stopped because it’s a show that ran WAAAY longer than any other normally does.

Idk who made it so that Dean couldn’t explore his sexuality or fucked up the Destiel of it all but they SUUUUUUUUCK! You really shat the bed! at least explore it cuz at the end of the day, it may not work out. Gay relationships aren’t that different from straight relationships in that sometimes it just doesn’t work out BECAUSE we’re ALL people. And who knows maybe they could’ve been happy but we’re not allowed to know that canonically because Destiel was never given a CHANCE!

I mean if it was REALLY that big a deal – why introduce it? By making these little suggestions that (in a way that's funny but why would Dean be queer be haha funny - no that's not okay, queerness shouldn't be a joke) furthermore we’re talking about a show on basic cable - all it would’ve taken was fucking hand-holding or the same routine of staring into each other’s eyes like they’d been doing for 12 fucking years already! Just not shying away from the queerness that time. Legend of Korra did it. That 1 Disney show did it (i don’t remember the name). No kissing would’ve been necessary - nice, wishful thinking but not necessary if the kissing became an issue (but seriously it was 2020 man but ofc - that is a year where a pandemic that required social distancing decided to kick in during the final arc of this show) - just so we’re all clear COVID cock blocked Destiel lol jk 🤣

All those times they had Dean & Cas stare into each other's eyes – the forces at work – showrunners, writers, directors AND editors & the network who is showing this to audiences – if its such a big fucking deal - Don't leave it in. By leaving it in, you're allowing people to make assumptions about the relationship – it happens literally every time in every story ever told. You put 2 people in a scene and they're not family (though not always the case) or JUST friends (explicitly proven) there's a chance SOMEONE is gonna wanna ship them no matter how likely it is (OR NOT) they'll hookup or become a couple. That's just how it is. So don't fan the flames and then turn it around on fans that they're wrong, crazy or misinterpreting. If Wincest can exist, so can Destiel and any other ship. That being said, y’all Destiel shippers were ROBBED but I don’t need to tell you that.

I don’t think the relationship would’ve been perfect or smooth sailing - their friendship as it was on the show sure wasn’t. And Dean wasn’t the only one with issues - Cas had some bad qualities too - the angel liked to lie and for a while there he was extremely averse to conflict. And Dean…he gets real fucking angry 😬 not a good mix for a relationship- hell even a friendship.

But the two had a profound bond, with a great deal of affection for one another and that’s what got them through betrayal, fights, amnesia, curses, apocalypses, and all the ugliness in between. They could’ve made it. Or they could’ve just had Cas and Dean stay friends - but we’ll never know since Cas was pretty much omitted after 15x18 - there were references - like only 2 though 😒

Really SPN? 😒😔 so lazy. But sure, go ahead, blame COVID. It’s not like phones exist. It’s not like the actor couldn’t have just recorded Castiel’s voice nope. Totally not an option 🤦🏾‍♀️ same goes for the other characters - Jody, Donna, Eileen - you know all the other characters Sam & Dean cared about but sure - fuck ‘em too. Status quo is the only thing that matters - SMH.

#supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #deancas #destiel #supernatural season 15 #the destiel meme #destiel confession #spn final season #spnfandom #spn 15x18

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