#yes i am currently going insane thank you very much

[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere Alucard Headcanons: Won't Make The Same Mistakes (Castlevania The Animated Series)

[Hello, I am back with another Castlevania anime series, this one is Alucard and his base yandere headcanons for you the gender-neutral reader! So let's do this!]

(Disclaimer: Alucard is not yandere in canon! This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! You know who you are! You Dirty, Flaky, Biscuits! Yandere are not ideal partners to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! Thank you!)

-Base Yandere Headcanons With Yandere Alucard X Gender Neutral Reader From Castlevania The Anime-

.Alucard is the best of his father and the best of his mother, the perfect match of the two.

.He is very intelligent and deadly in battle, skilled with the blade, and also has vampire powers that give him an advantage in battle.

.But he has the class and charm of his mother as well as the kindness.

.Alucard had overheard his father, Dracula wanting to have revenge for what the bishop did to his mother and his father's wife, but by destroying all of humanity.

.He knew his mother would not want this and he still wanted revenge for his mother as he does grieve with his father.

.Of course, Dracula would not take this and attacked his son, Alucard knew his father could not and would not see reason, so he made the wise reason to rest and heal so he could face his father and defeat him.

.When he does wake up from his one-year rest he meets you and falls in love with you, never having met a person like you in his eyes. (Fun Fact he is bisexual in canon so it is canon he would be down for it!) 

.He had an immense attraction to you right away and knew that you were the one for him.

.He would keep you close on his journey for he is protective. He does not want you to be killed by the vampires and demons of this world and so he would have you travel with him.

.So that way he can keep you safe and protect you from the dangers. He would not allow you to leave his side, he may even try and manipulate you to stay by his side.

.He does not do it to gaslight or to force you to do things that are not good for you, but instead, it is for you to be safe and he knows that he has to be the bad one to make sure that you are safe and sound. 

.Your safety is his first concern, even before fighting his father and putting a stop to him. 

.He has seen what happened to his mother and he did not want you to meet the same fate as her. 

.He does not want to turn you into a vampire against your will. He wants you to want to spend eternity with him.  .Although he will turn you if he believes he has no other choice (More on this in a bit) 

.He is very overprotective of you and does not trust men with you, as well as not really trusting women with you either. 

.He does not want anyone to hurt you and after he saw what humans did to his mother and saw that the Belmont family had hunted his kind for centuries.. Even killing vampire babies. (Yes in the 2nd season there is clearly a much smaller baby skull the Belmonts kept of a vampire baby, I am sorry I don't care that is kind of sick tbh)  .He was raised by Dracula who was once Vlad The Impaler. So of course he would want to spoil you. 

.As he was raised in a home of wealth, his father was once the king of present-day Romania and is currently the vampire king. 

.So like I just said he would want to spoil you, giving you clothes made out of the finest materials and jewelry of the finest and rarest jewels and metals. 

.He wanted to show you that you meant the world to him and that you, his darling were his greatest treasure. 

.He would also be very romantic with you, it does run in his veins. 

.But like his father, he would go Insane with you and he says he would not but he could easily end up being just as Insane and Bitter as his father.  .Because he loves you with all his heart and that can make him very romantic and very possessive. 

.This is where the rivals come in. If he were to have a rival he would be torn, he knows his mother would not want him to kill the rival. 

.But a part deep in him cannot stand knowing that anyone else desired you in such a way! It was sickening to him, only he should have such feelings for you. 

.In the end, he would come to terms that he cannot kill your rivals unless they do something that will allow him to do such. 

.And trust me he will be waiting and hoping that they will fuck up and that way he can kill them, which for him would be to protect you yes, but he would be deeply satisfied with taking their pitiful lives from them. 

.If These rivals ever showed any sign that they were going to hurt you or anyone else, or that they were a threat to the human race. 

.He would of course bend the rules that he sets when it comes to rivals, yes he is a yandere with a huge sense of justice. 

.But if he truly believes that these rivals are not good then he has every right to kill them, no it is his duty to kill them to protect you and the world that his mother loved. 

.So all of his rivals are on thin ice and he becomes a yandere that would watch over you and guard you, or as he calls it protect you. 

.He will not and cannot risk you being hurt so he would hover around you, to make sure that you are safe and sound. Once again a big part of his yandere side is keeping you safe and sound. 

.It can be a bit smothering and he would understand if you need space, he would just stalk you, I mean watch over you from afar, without you knowing of course. 

.He would be out of sight out of mind for you, but he is keeping an eye on you and always keeping you safe! 

.He would also kill for you for sure, if anyone ever put you in the path of a crossfire he would rip them apart. 

.He has no mercy for the people that would harm for and would seek revenge on them showing just how much of a bloodthirsty yandere he is. And No I do not mean if he has to feed on blood. 

.He is raised after Dracula after all so he would know many, many ways how to deal with rivals and people that hurt you, he may even start a collection, 

.He is also very good at hiding his yandere side from you, since he is very good at hiding and masking his emotions it is almost a 100 percent fact that you would not be able to find out that he is obsessed with you. Truly almost completely impossible to tell. 

.Finally, he confesses to you after Dracula dies and that he can be with you and have a life with you. Being the new owner of the castle, he can now give you the world and treat you like the royal he sees you as. 

.When confessing to you he is very romantic about it and offers you a home with him, a life together, the world, and eternity. 

.If you accept his love you can expect him to ravish you right there and then where he will have you the place you accepted his love. (Romatinc lol) 

.If you turned him down this had broken a small smart of him. 

.He would tell you he cannot accept that, that there are still too many dangers in this world and he cannot let you be out in the world away from him, where he cannot keep you safe. 

.He then will swiftly knock you and have you in a padded chain. He did not want to hurt your delicate skin. 

.The chain will be to the bed and be long enough for you to use the chamber pot, and for you to reach everything in the room. But not long enough to reach the door to freedom. 

.The bed is also bolted to the floor and the chain is reinforced so that it can be broken easily and also in the reinforced floor so you cannot remove the base of it.  .His job now is to protect the secrets that his father had in his castle and also take care of you. 

.He is sure he can make you love him, he has been reading books on the best ways to make you fall in love with him. 

.He will take care of you, making all your favorite foods, but he also would not let you starve yourself. 

.He would force you to eat if he has to he does not to resort to such things, but he will not let you put yourself at risk. 

.His job as your husband is to take care of you, and yes he does consider himself to be your husband or one day will be your husband, so he is already acting as your husband. 

.He is always so kind and sweet with you that it would cause you to break down. 

.He is a good man and it will break you and you will fall in love with your captor. 

.He will cherish you and one day he will turn you into a vampire. 

.He is not going to make the same mistake as his father and risk you dying and leaving him. You are going to stay by his side as his spouse. 

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter is done! I hope you all enjoyed this, and stay sexy all of my sexy muffins!] 

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

hey y'all what would we think about an old guard au? with say, idk, maybe esther as the one wanting to experiment on Charles, Edwin, and Crystal to steal their immortality so she sends her mortal son Monty to seduce Charles/Edwin? Yada yada falling in love, relationship, betrayal reveal, Monty runs away, Charles and Edwin swear to never fall for a mortal again, etc.

Then fifty years go by and Niko is the new immortal joining the team. Perhaps a random boy warns her away from Esther's goons so that way a very cute, very breathtaking Crystal can save her? And then as Niko is learning about her immortality/the team/backstory/the betrayal/etc., she sees someone awfully familiar in a photo?

Anyway I currently have 8k written and I started this Saturday night. Oops. Blame The Civil Wars and the song "The One That Got Away."

[bruh-myguy-what]

Can I request Crosshair with "sorry, that was my first kiss." "i could tell." "...." "i'm kidding!" I don't imagine any of the Batch have ever kissed someone before. 🤭

Jealous Much?

Pairing: Crosshair x Fem!Reader Warnings: Massive fluff, Crosshair being a cutie pie and not understanding his own emotions because he's silly, light cursing, nothing other than that really Word Count: 2.2K Summary: After running into a "Reg" in the halls of Kamino, Crosshair hears something he doesn't like and it bothers him. A/N: I really liked this prompt for Cross and I've actually not written anything for him yet, so this was fun! Thanks for request precious anon! I hope it was what you were looking for when you sent in the request!

Requests are currently closed until I finish the ones I have in my inbox!

Don't forget you can also support me on ko-fi! If you like my writing, you can always just give me a little tip to help me continue my work!

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"Mesh'la~" A clone trooper called after you with a smile, "Why don't you stop hanging out with those defective boys and come hang out with real men, huh? I know you miss me~" He teased, mirthfully, as he blew you a kiss.

While you found the trooper's antics amusing, evidently none of the other Batchers had. Crosshair hissed a snide "filthy reg" under his breath as he took your arm and positioned himself between you and the other man. Hunter rolled his eyes with an exhausted sigh, Echo shrugging when Tech looked between you and the other clone. "What precisely does he mean when he says 'I know you miss me'?"

You only chuckled and shook your head in reply but flinched a little when you met Crosshair's sharp eyes. "W-What?" Your voice was hushed as it passed through your lips, almost as if you were intimidated by him.

The sniper simply lifted a brow at you, the tattoo over his eye elongating. "You didn't answer Tech." He answered with his coiled voice, toothpick moving over his thin lips. Was he serious? Why did it even bother him? You knew very well he had more contempt for the regs than even the others did, but for him to care so much about why the other trooper mentioned you neglecting him was odd- even for Crosshair.

You shrugged unhurriedly, eyes wide, as if you'd been caught in a speeder's headlights. Glancing toward the others to see if they were as confused as you were, but instead noticed they were also staring at you- waiting for a response. Tech adjusted his goggles on his face while Hunter rested his weight onto one of his hips, arms crossing over his broad chest. Echo blinked at you, and Wrecker tilted his head curiously. "What, seriously?" Was all you could summon as you looked at them all in amazement. "Is it really that big of a deal to you guys?"

"Well," Tech began simply, glancing at Hunter, "yes."

"Seriously?!" You shot back, your voice filled with offense then huffing out loudly at their insanely meddlesome behavior.

"Seriously." Crosshair's whispery tone upset you and the glare you sent him scarcely made him shift. "So, are you going to keep us waiting...or?"

"For kriff sake..." You muttered as a hand ran across your face, bitterness lacing your breath. "Fine! I made out with him once while we were at 79s on shore leave, are you happy now?" Your answer stunned them and they once again shared of look amongst themselves. "Stars. Karking fools, not everything is your business." Breathing out an annoyed sigh, you forced past them and fled into your bunk room.

"It would seem we have upset her," Tech noted after a beat of silence, to which both Hunter and Echo gave him a disapproving glance. "What? I am not incorrect. I am merely stating a factual examination as I have observed the situation."

"Stow it, Tech." Echo growled with a fatigued voice, pushing past him as they all began striding back to their own shared bunk room. Crosshair, however, lingered; eyes still eyeing where you had disappeared further down the hall. Why was it bugging him so badly to know that you had kissed that reg? It felt like gnawing in his chest like a wild nexu was bitting him.

He loathed it.

Why wouldn't it go away?

"Cross?" Hunter's deep voice broke the taller clone out of his thoughts and he looked over at his brother who was standing in the doorway. "You coming?" He questioned, a raise to his brow as he scrutinized him.

Nodding, Crosshair joined the others in the room with a faint 'yeah' and flicked his toothpick aside.

The night went on without much more discourse about your "adventure" with the reg but Crosshair couldn't get the idea out of his head and he was increasingly becoming cranky. Far more cranky than usual. The trooper was practically seething at one point while taking apart his rifle for the fourth time, griping to himself and shoving the pieces together sharply. "Any harder and I think you'll bust it, Cross." Echo comments, stepping over to his bunk to lie down.

"Shut up." The sniper hissed grouchily, driving a piece together especially hard and pinching his finger. He cursed under his breath spitting out his toothpick and placing his finger in his mouth to numb the ache.

Hunter chuckled at the exchange, "Listen, if you're so bothered by her kissing that reg, why don't you go make up for lost time and stop making the air so sticky with your angst." The man lounged in his own bunk, twirling his vibroblade around nimbly.

Crosshair prickled at the remark and turned to look at Hunter with a dangerous glare. "What do you mean by that?" His voice was low and lethal as he spoke, daring his brother to repeat himself.

"I believe you heard him well enough, did you not?" Tech piped up from his workbench, accommodating his goggles to look over at Crosshair. "However, if you were not clear on his meaning, he was proposing that you go and kiss her to make your intentions apparent."

Crosshair's nasty glower slowly landed on his intelligent brother and narrowed even further, his brow now raising in challenge. "What in the galaxy are you idiots going on about?"

"Well, you want to kiss her, don't ya?" Wrecker chimed in with a careful voice, making sure he was following the conversation correctly. Echo suppressed a laugh at Crosshair's dumbfounded expression at his larger brother.

"Of course, he does, Wrecker," Tech replied in Crosshair's stead with a matter-of-fact tone, restarting his work on whatever gadget sat in front of him.

Crosshair growled, stood up from the crate he was sulking on and lurked out of the bunk room into the hallway. Gritting the toothpick between his teeth, he groused to himself again, brown eyes traveling in the direction of your door. Hunter's comments persisted in his mind about going to you and...

But Crosshair barely considered the thought and waved his hand in the air as if he could swat away the notion. There wasn't any way in all the galaxy he was going to show up at your door like some loser with a crush.

The tall sniper rolls his eyes and then blinks in shock as he finds himself in front of a door. Your door. "What the hell?" He murmured to himself in bewilderment, eyes narrowed as if the door could give him an explanation.

He stood there for a surprisingly long time, debating with himself mentally; attempting to figure out what to do. Knocking on the door would require him to follow through with something he could easily make a fool of himself with, or...he could turn away and continue to seeth in jealousy over you being with other men.

Jealousy?

Wait...

That had just struck Crosshair.

It was the first time the idea of him being jealous truly passed his thoughts, though it made sense...the sentiment lingering in his chest corresponding to the word flawlessly.

He was jealous.

Aggravatingly so.

He hated to admit it. The thought made him feel...vulnerable; as if you have power over him in some way. But if he considered it in more depth, you did. Secretly he had been admiring you for months, amazed at how you took his brazen nature in stride and followed thoroughly alongside his banter. It startled him, pleasantly, when you first quipped back at him so effortlessly- his brothers typically being the only ones able to handle their comebacks well enough to leave him in silence. However, within weeks with the group you had smoothly grinned at him and shot back as if his offensive mood hadn't phased you in the least. He'd found himself gravitating toward you after that, interested in why you were able to tolerate him so well, wondering if he could push you further or cross a line that would make you furious; to which he uncovered nothing. The only thing he'd encountered was your gentle nature, sparked by sass and a smirk that made his heart race.

A whooshing sound startled him back to the present and he was met with your face. "What the hell are you doing out here, Crosshair?" You asked with a bothered expression.

Apparently the decision had been made for him. He was fully aware that if he turned around now he'd never live it down and would seem like a coward. He'd also have to deal with hearing about you kissing other regs which irked him even more than the idea of his brothers teasing him for being a wuss. So he rested his weight on one of his hips and smirked at you, flicking his toothpick past you. "You seemed annoyed back there, sunshine." He chose to go the route of antagonizing you, his more preferred form of communication; especially when breaching a matter he felt out of his depths to manage.

You rolled your eyes, infuriated. "That's because you and your idiot brothers were being assholes. It's none of your business what I do in my free time."

"What if I want it to be?" Crosshair heard himself speak before he could stop it but he chose to remain steadfast in the face of your changing expression.

Your raised brow and slow hand gestures implored him to continue as if what he said was unfinished. "And so what if you did want that? I'm not your-" Then it hit you and a blush rushed over your cheeks.

The clone stood there and he could feel his hands trembling, uncharacteristically. He wasn't predisposed to anxiety, none of his brothers were, but now he felt as if his heart were going to leap out his chest and through his armor directly into your hands. Silence continued to linger between the two of you with only the narrowing of Crosshair's eyes as a reaction.

"You..."

"Don't flatter yourself too much." Crosshair interrupts with a roll of his eyes, trying to fight off the embarrassment that started to creep up his own cheeks.

A smile began to form on your face, much to his dismay. "Crosshair...are you saying you're...jealous of that reg?" You were testing your luck and you knew it, he was never this clumsy in conversation with you but you couldn't help yourself when you caught the reddening of his cheeks.

"Stow it or I'll walk away right now." He hissed hatefully and crossed his arms over his chest, making no effort to move. While Crosshair despised the feeling of floundering he felt in the moment, he also found it...exciting. He was caught desperate and nervous in the sight of someone he cared for and your smile was stunning.

You chuckled at his expression, his face turning away from you to look down the hall where he'd come from. "You are jealous!" The triumph on your face was simultaneously aggravating and charming to the sniper, his trained eye taking in every detail even from his side glance. "I can't believe you're jealous because I kissed some reg, what are you a school girl? Little Crosshair feeling jealous because I kissed someone el-"

Your taunting was cut off quickly by the taller man as he covered your mouth with his; your eyes blowing wide. It was inelegant, awkward, and hurried but filled with an unexpected sweetness. You could feel his hands shaking as they held your face gently, his eyes squeezed shut. Scarcely given the chance to kiss him back before he pulled away, you grumbled in disappointment.

Crosshair stepped back out of your personal space with a dark blush across his cheeks, avoiding your eyes as he cleared his throat. He'd never felt so overwhelmed by emotion in all of his life and for him to act upon them in such a physical way left him tense.

"Crosshair..." You whispered his name with a grin, blinking a few times to make sure you were still in reality, not one of your many dreams. He peeked up at you momentarily and you could tell he would rather be shot by a blaster bolt than acknowledge that he'd just kissed you but you disregarded the look and stepped back up to him. "I'm gonna have to teach you how to kiss properly if you're going to want to keep doing that, ya know?" You teased softly.

Crosshair still denied any eye contact with you, missing the sweet expression on your face. "Th-That was my first kiss, so I don't know what you expected." His voice came out hastily by the end and had a bite to it, but you only chuckled at his shy behavior and kissed his cheek.

"I could tell." You joked lightly, a wise grin on your face.

Crosshair whipped his head to look at you, his glare fierce at your comment; which is what you had anticipated. You smiled up at him warmly and his heart leapt at the sight. Turning away from your captivating expression quickly, you hug him, resting your head against his chest plate.

"Wait! I'm sorry! I was just kidding!" You laughed at his pouting, knowing that you'd never let him live down the shade of red his face had gotten; even if just between the two of you.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Been thinking about your team ro time travel and team ro defect crossover and I just. I've been rereading keanblade's stuff recently so i have a very specific tobirama in my head and the idea that he'd take one look at this group of sad dissilusioned young adults/children and be like guess i'm a father of 5 now and rewrite his entire priorities around that. Like, you mentioned in the of team ro time travel you liked the idea of having half hatake tobirama in the mix and i'm an enjoyer the idea hatake tend to just adopt children wily nilly like oh look more pack, I think i will thank you very much. Just tobirama absconding with this entire group that has no incentive to return to their own time and being like i'm the dad now (yes some of them are barely younger than him, no that doesn't change that he's everyone's dad fuck off). He gets to teach kakashi all kinds of hatake things! Show him how to be a little wilder like the hatake of the warring states! If you subscribe to the theory he helped hashirama learn how the mokuton worked he could tenzo with his mokuton. The funniest option is that somehow all of this leads to peace without izuna dying and they werent even trying for that. Like, tobirama just straight up ditching everything to take care of a bunch of depressed teenagers and a kid, over half of which are uchiha, and being SO fiercely protective of his little pack of murder children and the uchiha seeing this and being like. Huh. I thought that guy hated us? He just. Is living in the woods with three uchiha and treating them like his specialest little guys. An uchiha patrol runs across them and tobirama is patting itachi on the head for a good job learning whatever insane jutsu he's currently teaching team ro because those are his kids and of course he'd teach them to be as strong and terrifying as he could. Makes them think. Bonus points if this also somehow leads to madatobi and/or when the village does get built tobirama always looking to team ro before agreeing to any plans cuz they know what didnt work the first time, having not only been affected by it in the worst ways but left because of it in their time. Does this make the village better? Who knows. But they're certainly trying.

Sorry for the long thing, this has just been plauging my thoughts. I dont even know if i explained my idea well it's just been banging around in my brain for too long and i needed it out

Based off [THIS] au about Team Ro defecting from Konoha after Kakashi, having been told the truth of his fathers sabotaged mission and the slander campaign against him by Orochimaru, interrupts Shisui's murder at Danzo's hand, leading to the entire team + Sasuke to flee Konoha-- and then accidentally time travel into the warring states era, years before Konoha was set to be founded.

(This is already long, so the reply is below the cut ->)

OK FIRST OFF IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REPLY TO THIS OOPS I HOPE I DIDNT KEEP U IN SUSPENSE

Woahh Keanblade mention !!! I love their stuff, they have some great fics and I love their brain. I haven't read their fics in a while actually, I should like go brush up on my keanblade lore / characterization at some point

IM YELLING THO IM SO ?? HONORED ?? TO HAVE SPARKED SMTHN IN UR BRAIN ACTUALLY, IM EATING THIS UP I LOVE IT THANK U SM FOR SENDING ME THIS I HAD SO MUCH FUN READING UR IDEAS !! AND YOU SENT ME SO MUCH TOO, SO MUCH FOOD TO DEVOUR ! Thank you for sending them to me I am giving you a little kiss right on ur brain

Tobirama really said "wow I can't believe I have to adopt these guys now"

Hashirama, probably: "Otouto you really dont have to--"

"I can't believe the world itself is making me adopt these sad, lost children."

"Children? Otouto, they aren't exactly--"

"I MUST take them in. I'm FORCED to, even."

"Tobi, no one is saying you--"

"I really have no choice in the matter. There are NO other options for them."

"Tobirama, please--"

The fact that Tobirama is like literally the same age as Kakashi and then they're just barely older than Shisui and Tenzo makes the whole thing so much funnier. It's probably for the best that he didn't try to dad them fr fr bc Im pretty sure the only one here without some form of daddy issues is like. Sasuke. Who is also 7.

(Which could be argued against tbh just depending on ur specific interpretation of Fugaku's dynamic w his kids on any given day)

So I imagine trying to actually parent various members of team ro comes with the risk of accidentally stepping on a landmine and potentially causing incredible violence and years of baggage to explode outward. I love my traumatized shinobi boys !!

Big brother Tobirama my beloved tho !!! Do u think he has complexes about being a big brother I think he has complexes and also that we should totally explore that, send tweet

Tobirama cave hermit arc !!! Madara had his turn, now it's his!

Team Ro really showed up, immediatley got thrust into an (unwilling, unwanted) custody battle, then got fucking SNATCHED by Tobirama before they could try and make a run for it, and just kinda,, decided to go with it? I guess? Fucking gold, actually. How the actual fuck did Tobirama convince them all to stay with him, the world will never know.

The man teleported the group of them into a forest alone, (instantly outnumbering himself) and went "this means I won the custody battle btw." and team Ro just went "I mean its better than being stuck with Uchiha Madara I guess." and went with it

Im not going to lie I fucking pictured Madara stumbling across the cave and team ro yapping at him like little chihuahuas and fucking lost my mind actually, needed to take a second to regain my sanity (in a good way)

Do u think Hashirama yells at Tobirama when he comes back home for publically kidnapping some mystery uchiha (plus others who were not very recognizable and thus do not matter as much) in front of the uchiha clan. Does Tobirama come back home? Does he just decide to become a cave hermit somewhere in the woods with his hashtag found family who may or may not fully want to be there? (they must, to some degree, want to be there-- if only because Tobirama Senju might be talented but he is also 18 at the time and nowhere near the height of his power. And Team Ro is many things, but unskilled is NOT one of them)

I forgot Tobirama knew ab the time travel for a sec and pictured him looking at Sasuke, this little clone of Izuna, and going "Hmm. You look exactly like my rival does and no doubt belong to the Uchiha main house."

"Does this mean you'll give us to the uch--"

"No."

(Finders keepers !!)

"Madara, the most uchiha uchiha in who knows how long before itachi and sasuke came along to give him a run for his money" is so fucking funny actually, I am internalizing that line and will probably suddenly think about it later at work and giggle to myself, I can already tell

If Izuna and Hashirama are both being little bitch boys in this I do need to advocate that they should totally get to kiss and be little bitch boys ✨ together ✨(the hashiizu agenda never dies) (let them begrudgingly get a drink together--though its Izuna who does most of the begrudging--get drunk while whining about their brothers, and then share a very ill advised kiss or two that Izuna will now deny ever happened till the day he dies)

I still think Tenzo should get to bond with Hashirama bc I love them getting to interact, but Im hearing your 'bad brother Hashirama' vibes for this spin off and nodding respectfully, so like. Maybe Hashirama can be sad about Tobirama monopolizing Tenzo, literally THE only other Mokuton user in the world's time, and be mad ab that too? I dont usually write explicitly bad brother Hashirama so I'm not too good at proposing how that could go tbh but I love the soap opera / dogblood drama vibes, it's so fun

I do think that some of team Ro could be useful at the peace talk / village planning meetings if they spoke up !!

Itachi may be young but is clan heir, and no doubt knows most of the modern day clan laws that Konoha would one day put in place, so he can suggest those knowing that it's what they'd eventually land on anyways.

Meanwhile Kakashi is the student of a Hokage, who watched over the shoulder of two different Hokage's, from ages 13 to present, so he absolutely knows a thing or ten about politics and running a village (at least from an outsiders perspective) Which. Actually technically makes him the most eligible / knowledgeable person like. In all of the peace talks when it comes to running a village which is fascinating. I'm jotting that one down to reference later in my original team ro time travel fic actually, there's a lot that can be done with that

ALSO !! If this is the 'team ro time travels to warring states era' au but like, with the team ro that defected from Konoha, they totally have Opinions(tm) about Konoha, which is so fun. I feel like Shisui has the sort of personality where he might actually be vocal about things when it comes to founding Konoha.

The way that the team stood whenthey left the village, Shisui and Itachi were both still majority village loyalists (though their loyalty had been deeply shaken)

Tenzo was high key "whatever my teamamtes say I will follow" but still has Konoha's roots buried deep into his heart.

Kakashi was the most complex-- the only one who it could truly be said was against the village, and for that I think he's interesting to play with and has motivation to get inolved in village making-- or the opposite; Want nothing to do with it.

IM YELLING ACTUALLY AT TEAM RO GENRE CHANGE THTS SO FUNNY

It was actually never time travel, it was straight up dimension travel. They fr went from a grimdark angst fic to a silly fluffy cracky fuckin, blessed eyes au where Tobirama is actually secretly a Good Boi(tm) and his indescribable riz and way with children make Madara forget about the whole mutual genocide thing

(Plot twist: Izuna and Hashirama arent actually bad brothers, they're just not aware of the genre they're in and reacting accordingly to their brothers doing a sudden 180 and ending the war with the ✨power of love ✨ and also adopting several teenagers (some of which are literally their age) who appeared out of nowhere, have no credentials, two of which are technically CONFIRMED BLOODLINE THEIVES (Kakashi willing and Tenzo unwilling, lab grown mokuton stolen from Hashirama's dna is STILL BLOODLINE THEFT, thanks Orochimaru) and are losing their GODDAMN MINDS over the turn of events)

Anyways this whole thing was a riot, I loved it and u are a master at silly fluff and comedy, I had a lot of fun reading what you sent me !!!

Ik u were aiming for silly fun so I hope my additions didnt take anything too seriously, I am in my shinobi politics 'writing everything as being played straight' era, so tried my best to stick with silly fluffy fun time comments instead of tripping and falling into the political implications of, like, a disillusioned with Konoha nukenin Kakashi, at the age where he was near his most depressed and apathetic, who is also technically the most qualified person in Fire to discuss making a village, being let in on village planning with implicit backing from both the Uchiha head and Senju heir. Or how itachi in the original (non nukenin) au was down to kill Madara, but the him in this au now has even more motivation to do it. N other fun implications like that

BUT LIKE I LOVE THE FLUFF I LOVE THE SILLY

politics free zone !!! we are not making eyecontact with the drama bc this is team Ro's vacation, actually

anyways THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME SUCH A WONDERFUL AND DETAILED ASK !!! UR BRAIN IS SO BIG FOR IT, I HAD SO MUCH FUN READING IT AND THINKING ABOUT IT AND IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO REPLY TO AND I JUST HOPE I REPLIED WELL ENOUGH SDKFJHDSFJKDSHFJSDk

umm and then they all lived happily ever after, the end

[nyoomfruits]

i somehow lost the ask but this was written for the ‘wanna practice’ kiss prompt with lestappen :)

The door of the dorm room swings open rather dramatically, banging against the opposing wall as Charles comes barging through, beeling for this bed and flopping down on it face first. 

“Do I just suck?” He asks, voice muffled by his pillow. 

“Yes,” Max says, not looking up from where he is working on his econ homework on his own side of the dorm room. 

“You don’t even have any context,” Charles says, unburrying his face. Max glances at him. He’s pouting.

“Hm,” Max says, pretends to consider it. “No, my answer stands.”

Charles makes a dramatic strangled warbling noise and falls back into the pillows. Not for the first time, Max regrets becoming his friend. It was easier, back in high school, when they were sworn enemies. Lot less exaggerated sighing as Charles waits for him to ask him what’s wrong. 

After the fifth sigh, a deep one that must be coming from the depths of Charles toes, Max finally relents. “Fine,” he says. “What happened?”

Charles looks up with entirely too much glee, happy to be indulged, as he says, “I think I’m like, unloveable.”

Max suppresses his snort as he thinks of all the people that would line up to get their shot with Charles Leclerc. “Sure,” he settles on. “Why?”

“I was making out with this girl last night and then she made this very obvious excuse and just left. And there was this guy, a week ago, we’d just been making out for like, maybe a minute and then he went ‘nope’ and left.” Charles has flopped onto his back now, staring miserably at the ceiling. 

“Maybe you’re just bad at kissing,” Max says, frowning down at his econ homework.

“What? No I’m not,” Charles says, indignant. There’s a pause, during which Max scribbles some things down in his notes. Then, very quietly, “Oh my god, maybe I am.”

Max makes a ‘well, there you go’ motion, and hopes this means he can finally go back to finishing this assignment. It isn’t due for another two days, but there’s that paper coming up and he has time now, so-

“Kiss me,” Charles says. Max hadn’t even heard him move, but he’s here now, leaning into Max’s space like some kind of siren out of a Greek myth trying to lure him into the depths of seduction. 

Or something. If anything, Max’s brain isn’t really working right. Charles is right there, in his space, hands leaning on the sides of Max’s desk chair, looking ridiculously… giddy, almost. Max had this dream once. But Charles had looked a lot more sultry and his eyes had been closed and he’d been sitting in Max’s lap instead of leaning over him and-

“Why,” Max says. In his haste to stop that insane train of thought, he forgets to phrase it as a question. 

Charles pouts at him. His nose is inches away from Max’s. “So you can tell me if I’m a bad kisser.”

“Who says I’d be a good judge of that,” Max says, instead of outright ‘no’, because he’s a self sabotaging idiot. “Maybe I’m a horrible kisser.”

Charles tssk’s. “You and Daniel dated for like two years. If you’d been bad at kissing he’d dumped you much sooner.”

“Thanks,” Max says, frowning. “I think.”

“Come on,” Charles weedles. “Just see it as like, practice. For you. For when the next Daniel comes along.”

Max snorts derisively. The next Daniel is currently trying to convince him to kiss, so. Whatever. “Fine,” Max eventually says, because Charles is a stubborn little bastard and maybe if they kiss he will finally leave Max to his assignment. 

Also Charles is still there, in his space, with his big green eyes and his stupid pouty mouth and Max is only a man, so. 

“Yay!” Charles says, and then abruptly lunges forward to smash his lips against Max’s. 

Their teeth clunk together and Max winces as his nose bumps against Charles’s, and he lets out a strangled little noise as he gently pushes Charles back. 

He’s starting to see there might be some truth to the whole ‘Charles is bad at kissing’ thing. 

“Wow, okay, let’s just,” he gently pushes a confused Charles further back and gets up out of his chair, so they’re face to face. “Maybe do it a little more gently, yeah? Like this,” He puts one hand on Charles chin, tilts his fac up a little, softly brushing their lips together before pressing a little harder, letting their lips slide against each other. 

And oh, it’s much better like this, Charles following Max’s lead, his hands coming to rest on Max’s waist as Max’s hands slip into Charles’s hair, and he’s a little enthusiastic with his tongue at first, but he’s a quick learner, and for a moment there Max forgets all concept of time. 

“Ah,” Charles says when he pulls away. There’s a frown on his face, like he's deep in thought. “Yes. I might have been doing that wrong.”

Max merely hums, still reeling a little bit from the experience, still feeling the faint touch of Charles’s lips on his own, not trusting himself to speak. 

“Well!” Charles suddenly says, seemingly shaking himself out of whatever thought process he’d gotten tangled up in. “Thanks for that! I shall put it into practice now.” 

It takes Max a while to understand what he means, but then Charles is putting on his jacket and grabbing his keys and oh. 

He means with other people. 

“Right,” Max says, trying really hard not to look disappointed. “Right, well, good luck.”

“Thanks!” Charles yells over his shoulder, before moving through the door, taking Max’s entire heart with him. 

Max is left standing in the middle of the room, staring forlornly at his econ homework. It suddenly lost all of its earlier appeal. Especially when he can still feel the ghost of Charles’s finger tips on his waist. 

[widebrimmedhatsblog]

hi!! just read that absolute masterpiece response you had to the anon asking about Xaden and Violet at the end of OS!! I almost want to save that post purely to check back when we finally get the fourth and fifth books to see how much you correctly predict!

also (not to request another essay, so feel free to ignore this if you don't want to) are there any other parallels you've seen with RY's other writing? I've seen parallel relationships (Tairn/Sgaeyl mirroring Violet/Xaden), but any other common themes/tropes that Yarros loves that you think could make it into books 4&5?

like i said, feel free to ignore if you don't want to reply!!

Oh thank you so much!! I've been wanting to make a post like this for agessssss so this is a perfect opportunity!! I love writing essays so don't even worry, LMFAO, anyone can request an essay at any time!!

The only way for me to do this is to spoil a significant amount of her contemporary romance b-plots, so I'm gonna put the theories ABOVE the cut, and then you can click see-more if you want the essay with the parallels. I will say, her b-plots are always kind of insane, and I think the spoilers don't detract from the love stories themselves. So unless you're hellbent on going in blind, I think it's fine? You'll still get the love stories.

Dain's dying for Xaden in book 4! This theory has spoilers from the Flight and Glory series (specifically books 1, 2, and 4, although the only one I'm really spoiling anything you can't gleam from the back cover is book 4)

This isn't a theory, this is just some spaghetti I'm throwing at the wall, but! Lilith wrote the book on Unnbriel that Papa Sorrengail saved for Vi in Deverelli. This one has spoilers from The Things We leave Unfinished.

Theory One: Dain's dying for Xaden in book 4.

Some housekeeping: Rebecca's Flight and Glory series is 5 interconnected standalones (meaning each book deals with a different couple in the same world. it would be like if FW was x and v, but IF was Immrick and OS was dain/sloane). Book one, Full Measures, is about Josh and Ember. Book Two, Eyes Turned Skyward, is about Paisely and Jagger (yes, terrible names, just hold my hand). The book 3 couple is irrelevant for my current purposes, but book 4, Hallowed Ground, comes back around to Josh and Ember as the "main couple". The couples are all part of one big friend group and together all the time. To be SO frank, Josh and Jagger feel like they each got half of Xaden's personality, and Ember and Paisley feel the same way when it comes to Violet. (Josh has the reformed bad boy thing going on, secrets, and the whole caretaker dom thing going on, while Jagger ALSO has the reformed bad boy thing, he's RICH, also has secrets, and the daddy and mommy issues 1-2 combo. They also both just talk like Xaden. I thought Jagger was a lot less Xaden-esque during the first 75% or so, and then there's a pivotal scene where he is so aggressively Xaden-coded I started jumping up and down. Ember's a history major mourning her dead father, while Paisley's a librarian mourning her dead sibling. Paisley also has a heart condition that's very debilitating for her, and results in her loved ones being seriously overbearing.)

Paisley and Jagger's story is the most important to my purposes here, so have a quick summary of the opening of Eyes Turned Skyward: The novel opens with Paisley in a relationship with Will. Will was Paisley's dead sister's best friend, and after her sister's death, Will and Paisley came together in their grief. Paisley's heart condition means that she has to seriously limit physical exertion, she wears an apple watch at all times to track her heart rate, and she can't live life like a "normal" person. A big part of this is that Will won't have sex with her because he's worried about her having a heart attack. No, I am not joking. @maethologies was the first recipient of this summary many moons ago, and she calls it the "my doctor said no sex" book. The pivotal thing here is that Paisley's doctor didn't ACTUALLY say no sex. Will's just being overprotective.

Does this remind anyone of anyone we know? Because Will's character reminds ME of one Dain Aetos!

Further Dain-isms: Jagger, Josh, and co. all hate Will because he went to West Point and is super cocky about it. Will is super devoted to the codex rules and regulations of flight school to the point he turns on his classmates (which you're not supposed to do! snitches get stitches!) for a traditional prank (also, fun fact, the commanding general of their flight school? Paisley's dad!). Throughout book 2, Will gets his karma for being overprotective with Paisley, and he slowly becomes less of a stick in the mud. He befriends Josh, Jagger, and co, and he's a reluctant member of the gang in book 3. Again, do y'all see what I see???

Now, a summary of the grander plot of Hallowed Ground: Book 3 (Beyond What Is Given) ends with Josh, Jagger, Will, and their fourth friend Grayson, graduating flight school and getting their duty stations. Josh, Jagger, and Will all stay together, and Josh and Jagger get deployed first. Will stays home and takes care of Paisley and Ember. At the end of Beyond What Is Given, Paisley and Jagger getting engaged and married just before Jagger gets deployed. Six weeks later, Will gets deployed and follows Jagger and Josh into Afghanistan. During his opening flight (like, LITERALLY his first day) Josh and Will are in one helicopter while Jagger's actively in combat. They realize Jagger's in danger, so they go to him and join the fight. They all get shot down by the Taliban, and Will ends up jumping in front of Jagger and saying that his wife needs him. Will dies FOR Jagger and asks him to keep taking care of Paisley.

(The one thing I'm NOT mentioning there is that when Will does sacrifice himself for Jagger, Paisley's pregnant. I am NOT manifesting that for Violet.) (They actually name their kid after Will, which is kind of insane with the Dain implications. Dain Riorson-Sorrengail.)

Ever since I finished Hallowed Ground (so, July!) I've been convinced the final culmination of Dain's redemption arc was going to be dying for Xaden on Violet's behalf. I actually totally thought it was going to be in book 3 and not book 4, because it seemed like Rebecca thought Dain was redeemed even though the majority of fans disagreed. I've been a bit tongue-in-cheek about how much fan-interaction happened in Onyx Storm, but I definitely think the changes to Dain and Cat's characters especially were a result of Rebecca seeing how they were received by the readers and making corrections to their portrayal so that we see what she sees. Still, the parallels with Will are abundant. In his case, we meet him in book 2, but we immediately do not like him. He gets redeemed toward the end of book 2 and into book 3. By the time book 4 comes around, you're a fan! He's on the cusp of a new relationship with Paisley's best friend Morgan, and then....dead. Again....are we seeing the parallels here?

So, yeah! That's my take. Again, I actually thought this was happening in book 3, but I see why it didn't. I have NEVER enjoyed Dain as much as I did in Onyx Storm. Like, I feel bad about characterizing him how I usually do now. His death in OS would not have been impactful, whereas in book 4....

If you don't quite believe me about plot recycling from RY, the main romance plot line of Josh and Ember's first book Full Measures: falling in love -> she Knows he's keeping secrets (in this case, about his "occupation" as well as his past with her parent, but the secrets plotline is genuinely ALMOST every single book she's ever written, I am not joking, I CAN keep going) but she doesn't know enough to do anything about it except keep getting conned -> she learns enough! third act break up -> Iron Flame esque argument about secrets/asking questions/etc. -> make up!

And this isn't a critique from me: I've read sixteen of her books for a reason. There's something comforting in knowing exactly what you're going to get; however, I know exactly what I'm going to get.

THAT is the end of my more fleshed out theory. Now, Lilith time!

Theory 2: Lilith wrote Papa Sorrengail's book about Unnbriel:

I've been slowly re-reading (and highlighting and tabbing) Onyx Storm over the last few days, and yesterday, I read this line:

"My father's observations on the combative isle are sharp, almost clinical, but lack his usual insight. There's a marked difference between his book, written when he was 23 and straight out of the scribe quadrant, and the manuscript he left for me in his office." (Onyx Storm, chapter 28)

The epigraph for the chapter in question:

"There are times I look at Parapet, at the very act of Threshing, and marvel that dragons have not been to Unnbriel.... -Unnbriel: Isle of Dunne by Second Lieutenant Asher Daxton"

I said this in my other essay response, but Rebecca has two types of what I like to call "gotcha!" foreshadowing. Usually, she'll have a throwaway line somewhere that's REALLY easy to brush over, but it will either literally spell out a situation for later in the story, OR it exists to be proved false. I CAN grab examples, but this essay is already ridiculously long, so maybe another time if anyone doesn't believe me. In any case, I think this is the second type of foreshadowing. Rebecca goes out of her way to REPEATEDLY say dragons have not been to the isles, which really makes me think dragons have been to the isles.

Now, to compare and contrast with Rebecca's The Things We Leave Unfinished. I will say, this spoiler actually would impact your reading experience in that it's the big final reveal of the novel. However, a lot of you probably aren't going to read it anyway, so! I also actually think a LOT of Rebecca's works are better the second time around, and in this way the spoiler would make it more fun, as you better understand what's going on. So, you can take my word for it and stop here, OR you can keep reading.

A summary of the plot of The Things We Leave Unfinished:

The FMC of this novel's grandmother dies, leaving one unfinished novel she'd like finished after her death. This novel is the true love story of her grandmother's life. Through a deal with her agent, the MMC gets contacted to finish the novel for the FMCs grandmother. Half the book is the modern timeline of the FMC and MMC trying to finish the novel, and the other half is the historical timeline following the novel in question (book within a book!). As the novel progresses, you find out that the MMC keeps noting differences across Scarlet (the grandma's) body of work in terms of tone (sharpness!) and general story construction (insight!). (When I re-read that line about Vi's dad, I felt like someone walked over my grave.) Eventually, you learn that Scarlet actually died 70-odd years before the story begins, and that her sister is who the FMC thought was her grandma. Her grandma's sister is the one who finished her grandma's novel, then went on to write an entire body of work in her sister's name.

Now! Why would Lilith's work be in papa sorrengail's name? I don't actually know! Maybe since Dunne is an isle of warriors, he knew he needed His warrior to handle it for him. They're clearly obsessed with each other on a Riorgail level, and Xaden is immediately willing to fight on Vi's behalf on Unnbriel. I've said this offhandedly before, but the parallels between Lilith and Xaden are actually insane when you think about them. I also think this expands farther into the Dunne/Violet/Lilith/Theophanie nonsense I do NOT know enough to unpack right now. Anyway, I think that's it! I can try and pull the actual line from The Things We Leave Unfinished if anyone cares, because I'm pretty sure the phrasing is similar when the MMC figures out true authorship.

I said this above, but if anyone else has any other questions, feel free to ask!! I need to use my PhD in Yarrossian studies for something. I actually really wanted to compose a full list of my thoughts on her contemporaries/similarities/what I'd rec to the fourth wing girlies of the world, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. So if you're interested in that, let me know!

[gallusrostromegalus]

ok so re: sternritter i gotta ask, whats the plan for my girl gigi? she's a horrible awful gremlin baby but i cannot help but love her immortal tgirl swag.

also, are there any sternritter who got incredibly underused in the story that you've significantly rewritten so far?

As it stands, Gigi gets to live, but she is going to have to sit through a VERY unpleasant lecture about how yes, Gender is Fake, Political Organizations are Fake, and to an extent the 'Line' between living and dead is fake but Bodily Autonomy and Informed Consent are VERY, VERY REAL and you will *fucking* respect them because the Gotei-13 is the home of monsters.

For better or for worse, the person she's getting the lecture from is Tama Nikuya

---

Tama: Sure, you're a Monster too, Miss Gewelle -that's why I like you so much and am even extending you this offer- but I promise there are much worse things serving in the Guard than were dreamt of in your philosophy. Horrors, artificial and natural alike, well within the comprehension of your intellect regardless of gender, but no less awful. Worse, perhaps, because you understand what's going to happen if you put one drop of blood out of line-

Gigi, twitching: Urrgh!

Tama: Don't gurgle at me in that tone! Tama: You do understand, don't you?

(warning for body horror, parasitism, mind/body control, discussions of violence, transphobia and abuse under the cut) (Bleach is a pretty dark series and the Fic is E-rated accordingly)

Gigi, shaking her head as much as she can: Nglk!

Tama: What part don't you understand?

Gigi: Thzzg-? ThhZomg-!?

Tama, head cocked sideways, squinting as she tries to make sense of what Gigi is saying: 'the zog-'? The Zombie? Oh for fucks sake Gigi, we're well past that.

Gigi: Bugh-? Haaauuuu?

Tama: Alright alright, if it will help. The Zombie relies on some of your blood reaching my brain, or replacing a large portion of my own blood with yours, through which you exert your reiki, and thus control my body, right?

Gigi, Blinking Slowly: ... Gigi: Haugh- Haugh gid you vigure thad oud??

Tama, taking a deep, disappointed sigh: Babygirl, it's not that hard. That's very basic Spiritual Dominion magic. Don't get me wrong, you're very good at it and the sheer number of targets you can control is really impressive but as far as techniques go, it's not terribly complex or hard to counter.

Tama, Gestuting at where Gigi is awkwardly kneeling on the floor, paralyzed: Take the thing you've got- that's an enhanced strain of Ophiocordyceps unilateralis- you've heard of Cordyceps, I'm sure- that I've worked with to function inside humans- REAL pain in the ass by the way, Humans are insanely immune to infection and parasitism compared to most organisms-

Akon, holding an extremely large laser gun, not currently cocked but still at the ready: This is your requested reminder to stay on topic, Sir.

Tama: What? Oh, thanks- but Cordyceps is fun because instead of bothering to control the half-assed mess that is a mammal's neural system, it straight-up structurally takes over the large muscle groups! Just suppress the autoimmune response enough by giving the fungus an antihistamine release function too, and that sucker can crawl into every major support structure you have in under a week!

Akon: Yeah, I'm not sure 'Fun' is the right word here.

Tama: Don't knock it until you've tried it!

Akon, debating becoming the server technician for the 9th again: I'll take your word for it, Sir.

Tama, poking Gigi's arm just below where a long spire of the fungus is sprouting out of her shoulder, one of several growing out of her body and impacting her ability to move, including speaking: I'd say you're about 40% Fungus by weight right now, mostly your skeletal muscles, and those do what I say, which is why you're sitting down and listening while I try to change your mind. Tama, giving Gigi an encouraging thumbs up: -And why you still have a mind for me to change! Tama, giving Gigi a comforting pat on the shoulder next to the fungal spire: I have a lot of faith in your ability to make the right choices when presented with all the information, Miss Gewelle. If I thought I had to change your mind for you, I'd have pulled out the Hypomyces lactifluorum!

Gigi, watching Akon visibly shudder behind Tama: ...uhh. Gigi: Bugh. The Zomgee..?

Tama: Oh, right, The Zombie. Yes, yes- Reiki Domination is pretty tough to resist, especially from someone in your spiritual weight class, but, ah- Well, you've run into two big problems here Gigi.

Tama, sitting down on the floor next to Gigi: First problem is the use of blood as an infection mechanism. Tama, cheerfully, as though giving constructive criticism in an introductory art class: Honestly? Not a bad choice! Blood-bourne infections are some of the hardest to resist, and Forigen Reiki is a PAIN to purge from the bloodstream unless you flush the entire system. Most people, as you have seen, are doomed!

Tama, wincing: ...But I'm not most people. Tama, pondering: ... Come to think of it "People" might be a more correct term for what I am, but my situation is pretty radically different from "most" people!

Gigi, still defiant: Whad- Whaddafug ARE yu?

Tama, gesturing to indicate the situation is about as clear as mud, or morphology-based taxonomy: I- Well. It's long and not really all that funny story, but I got stuck on the wrong side of a a version of the Kodoku Bug Thunderdome curse- you know, the inside- for over eight hundred years with a whole mess of Hollows, Obake, and other nasty things and I went to some pretty extreme measures to survive. Tama, with a sad sigh: To make a long story short- I don't have blood anymore. Or a brain. Tama, frowning in contemplation: ...Or I'm ALL brain, it sort of depends on your definition of 'brain'-

Akon: Topic, Sir.

Tama: Thanks Akon! -But from my perspective, your blood is just another snack with a little bit of Reiki spice on top! Which brings me to your other problem.

Tama: You hit hard Gigi! Real hard! And you really should be proud of the degree of concentration you have! But like I said, the Gotei-13 is the home of monsters, and there wasn't exactly a burger joint or an opportunity to farm inside the Kodoku. ...I survived because I kind of literally ate things like you for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

[There is a long moment of silence as Gigi processes that statement, it's earlier compainion statement about what Gigi's blood was like for Tama, and the general implication of those on Gigi's circumstances]

Gigi: ...Gid I daste gud?

Tama, ears flicking up to listen better: What's that?

Gigi: Uck! Gigi, wide eyed with terror but somehow this situation has not ended in catastrophe yet, and she might be riding the adrenaline as far as it will go: ...Gid I datse good?

Tama: HAH!

Akon, turning around because he can't face this at 7AM without coffee: NO!!

Tama, teasing: Yes, you do taste very good, or at least the aperitif of blood you threw in the thing I use as a face did!

Gigi, giggling a bit in fear like a Hyena: Oh! Dhad'z Good! Gigi, stopping as the rest of the sentence catches up with her: Waid. Gigi: Whad Do you MEANg, 'ting you uze az a fage'? Gigi, with increasing horror: Whag- Whag ARE You?

Tama, giving Gigi a light, encouraging punch in the shoulder: You're a smart girl Gigi! You can figure it out if you put your mind to it! Tama, counting off the datapoints on her paw-pads: I don't have blood, or a brain, I lived underground with nothing but corpses to eat for a few centuries and my go-to restraint method is a parasitic...

Gigi, a horrible new world of possibilities opening to her like the lid coming off a tub of very expired sour cream: ...Mu-Mushgroom?

Tama, giving her two thumbs up: You got it! Tama: "Mushroom" is probably more specific than you intended, but you're not wrong! The part of me standing here lecturing you is more or less the organ I use for sex and sometimes paperwork!

Akon: Speaking of, the division W-2's still need to go out-

Tama: Akon, we're in the middle of an apocalypse. If the council tries to make everyone pay taxes on time this year, the Old Man won't have the chance to burn the government chambers down before the peasants do it for him. Chillax.

Tama, returning her attention to Gigi: It's probably why I'm so cheerful and down to party too! You know. Because I'm a *Fungi*!

Gigi, staring blankly: ...

Tama, wilting a bit: -A. Fun? Guy? A Fungi?

Gigi, starting to cry big, ugly genuine tears: Uh-uh-uuuuuhhhnnn...

Tama, trying to console Gigi with a hug that definitely makes things worse: ...You're right it'd probably be funnier if you didn't have a parasitic fungus rapidly taking over your person and forcing you to sit still and listen to a genuine freak of science tell you about Cannibalism. Tama, giving Gigi a little shake of encouragement: But you see how this makes my point, right? This isn't very fun for you, is it?

Gigi, suddenly locking up like a badly taxidermied fox: ...

Tama, staring blankly: ..? Tama, ears slowly rising as understanding dawns on her face: Oh?

Gigi, face rapidly alternating vivid shades of pink and white as her emotions battle for dominance, before settling on 'Scaroused': -Uh...

Tama, delighted: OH!

Akon, enraged: OH. MY GOD.

Tama, pointing at him and hissing: You are the LAST person who gets to kinkshame anyone young man! Tama, pointing back at Gigi: At least SHE knows how to have fun!

Akon: I'm gonna transfer to the Ninth and never, ever leave the server room again.

Tama: If you think you can withstand the emotional toil of leaving the mass spectrometer in my hands, be my guest.

Akon: :(

Gigi: Uh?

Tama: He's spiritually bonded to a particularly finicky piece of lab equipment that hates me, like how some tween girls become spiritually bonded to giant murderous equines, which also tend to hate me. Don't worry about it. Tama: Back on topic, this does explain a few things. You DO understand that your feelings about this situation are unusual and given that most humans and their spiritually powerful derivatives experience pain and fear from having their autonomy restricted and bodies invaded by parasites, How do you think being made into a Zombie feels for other people?

Gigi: ...Bahd?

Tama, nodding enthusiastically and making her ears flop in agreement: That's right! Bad! Tama, settling down a bit more to explain things carefully to Gigi: See, the thing is- even monsters like us need to get along with other people. Tama: I know a lot, but nowhere near enough to enjoy the benefits of civilization all on my own- I don't know how to fix a toilet, or fill out grant applications or stand in the same room as the mass spectrometer without breaking it, so it's really, really good I've got people Akon over there, who like me, who can, and more importantly are willing to do those things for me!

Gigi, annoyed: Gyou woulgnd AVV to-

Tama: hang on, hang on-

[Tama pokes a few points on Gigi's face and throat, using Reiki to disconnect some of the Cordyceps parasite, then pulls the spire that was developing under Gigi's tongue out. It's much larger than it looked, and makes Gigi's throat wiggle as she removes it.]

Tama: Oh hell, that shouldn't have been there. How were you even talking around that thing girl?

[Tama tosses the fungal spire aside and offers Gigi a water bottle. Gigi takes a few sips before nodding and Tama puts it away.

Tama: Okay, try again-

Gigi: Ugh- You wouldn't HAVE to get along with tall, drak and grumpy back there if he was a zombie!

Tama, disappointed: ... Tama, taking another deep sigh: ...Okay, let's say I zombify Akon-

[Akon cocks and aims the Laer Gun, which whines ominously as it charges]

Tama: WHICH I AM NOT GOING TO DO FOR REASONS I'M ABOUT TO ELABORATE ON, PUT THAT DOWN-

[Akon turns off and lowers the lazer gun, still glaring.]

Tama: Thank you. Tama: I know you're still getting used to how most people have conversations, but that was a normal way to discuss a theoretical scenario and not me about to turn you into a Zombie. Do you understand?

Akon: ...Ues, Sir.

Tama: He used to work for an Evil Clown, don't worry about it- Alright, Let's say I was a micromanaging-type moron, and I decided to zombify Akon instead of just getting along with him. I'd lose all his expertise immediately. No more functioning mass spectrometer or bathrooms.

Gigi, haughty: Mine do.

Tama: Pardon?

Gigi: My zombies keep. most of their skills and personality. At least the ones I make out of corpses. Gigi: Akon could still fix the mass-thingie and if you zombify the Grant Committee you don't even have to ASK for funding.

Tama, intrigued: ...Do they? That's good to know, I'll want to hear more about that later-but that still supports my point.

Tama: Alright, HYPOTHETICALLY I Zombify Akon, and the Grant Committee- well now, the person who's choosing when the mass spectrometer gets fixed and who gets grant money I don't need is ME, and I already have WAY too much work to do, I don't have initiative to spare for them! I got stuff I want to do! I can't micromanage everyone, everywhere all the time! Tama: It's literally easier, more efficient and frankly, way, WAY less stressful to just get along with people and live in a society than to try to DIY one out of corpses.

Gigi: ...I guess.

Tama: So that's my question Gigi. Tama: Are you capable of respecting people's bodily autonomy and personal space to get along with them?

Gigi, frowning and biting her lip: ...

Akon: That doesn't sound like a 'Yes'.

Gigi: It's not though. It's not less stressful to just get along with people. Gigi: That's- That's WHY I learned how to make zombies in the first place. I'd. I'd TRY to get along, dammit! But any time I let people make choices, they chose to get up my ass about my name, or cut off all my hair, or send me off to 'camp', or beat the shit out of me, or- or lock me in the mausoleum and leave me to starve instead of just call me my name or admit they had a daughter- Gigi: ... Gigi: So it was- Gigi: -It was easier with bodies. Gigi: Bodies don't insist you're a boy or call you a freak or take you to a 'private institution' to 'help you get better' where they strap electric paddles to your head and run a million volts through you- Gigi: Dead people are SO MUCH EASIER to get along with! They don't think you're a creep! They don't think at all! Gigi: I mean, why should I-? Why should I try to get along with people who have already made up their minds that they're never, ever gonna get along with me??

Akon: ... Akon: ...I mean, you are kind of a creep-

Tama: -AKON!

Akon: Hang on I'm not done! You are a bit of a creep, but it's not the girl thing, it's the zombie thing!

Gigi: Oh, just because you're scared of a dead body-!

Akon: GIRLIE I'VE BEEN DISSECTING CORPSES SINCE BEFORE I COULD TALK I AIN'T FUCKIN' SCARED AND I AIN'T DISAGREEING WITH YOU- YEAH. IT IS EASIER TO TALK TO A CORPSE THAN A PERSON. I SPENT PRETTY MUCH ALL MY ADOLESCENCE IN THE 12TH DIVISION'S MORGUE BECAUSE TALKIN' TO LIVE PEOPLE SCARED THE FUCK OUTTA ME!!

Gigi: WIMP! YOU HAVE NO IDEA-

Akon: NO, I THINK I FUCKIN' DO! Akon: YOU KNOW WHERE URAHARA HIRED ME OUT OF? Akon: PRISON. Akon: I GOT THROWN IN PRISON WHEN I STILL HAD ALL MY BABY TEETH, *JUST* BECAUSE I WAS SO CURIOUS ABOUT BODIES. JUST BECAUSE I MADE PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE! PRISON-PRISON! THE MAGGOT'S NEST, WHERE THEY KEEP WAR CRIMINALS AND WORSE! Akon: YEAH, TALKIN' TO LIVE PEOPLE SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME, BECAUSE THE LAST TIME I TALKED TO SOMEONE, I LITERALLY GOT SENT TO HELL!

Gigi: -!

Akon: Captain Nikuya is RIGHT, the Gotei-13 is the home of Monsters- and the twelfth has got some of the most freakish and frightening ones of the whole guard! Akon: But I'll take the self-vivisecting, species-transgressing, only-barely-human Monsters any day of the week over the maggot's nest because we're all shamelessly, gloriously monstrous together, and the ONE damn rule of the monster's ball is to ASK before you fuck around with someone's stuff, especially their body. Akon: Not "Don't mess with someone's body", Not "Don't be weird", Not "try to be normal". It's "Be freaks and monsters, but also friends."

Akon: God help me if Nemuri ever finds out, but that's why Mayuri is still in that flask. Most of us have a pretty good idea how to isolate his consciousness again, but they way he- I'd have killed him the week after he took over if I had any idea how.

Akon: That's the rule Gigi. No violating anyone's right to live as they are. Akon: That's the difference between a monster- someone people are scared of just for being how they are- and the kind of FILTH that needs to be scrubbed off the earth. Akon: Do you understand Gigi? Nobody gives a shit if you're a girl on purpose or whatever- Fuck, I can think of a few colleagues who'd put themselves on a list for you to reanimate them when they die no matter how much of them actually comes back. It's overwritin' people's minds and controlling bodies BY FORCE. Akon, putting down the gun and patting his coat for his cigarettes: If I understood you right, that's more or less what people tried to do to you, isn't it? Tell you how to act, who you were, by whatever means necessary?

Gigi: ...fuck you.

Akon: Fuck me yourself, you coward.

Gigi: ... Gigi: So what am I supposed to do when someone gets up in my face again? Smile and play nice? Roll over so they can kick my guts out?

Tama: Oh, no- If they violate the "Don't mess with other people's autonomy" rule, all bets are off! That's why when you tried to murder me and Akon a few minutes ago, I was right to infect you with a parasitic fungus to protect myself and stop you! Tama: In fact, the sooner and harder you react to that shit, the less people will try to cross that line, so if anyone tries to fuck with you, you absolutely can and should make an example of them!

Akon, holding up his cigarette to ask if it's alright, and wating for Tama's nod: -If anyone tried that shit with me I'd absolutely turn them into a living educational exhibit on why people need to have skin, but genuinely? Nobody in soul society gives a shit what's in your pants unless they're your doc or fuckin' you.

Gigi, rolling her eyes: Sure, sure-

Tama, laughing: No! Really! It was a surprise for me too.

Gigi: You're lying to me.

Tama, shrugging: Okay, don't believe me, believe your eyes- Tama, ticking people off on her paw-pads: You saw the peacock earlier, he's a seated officer and Baldy is his Husband. Tama: Their boss is the most rampantly bisexual slut I've ever had the pleasure of meeting and the primary load-bearing member of the captainacy polycule-

Akon, starting to giggle: -Yeah I bet he can bear a lot of loads-

Tama, casually plucking off another fungal spire to half-heartedly throw at him: Oh, and the guy who had this job before me IS pregnant with his second child!

Gigi, incredulous: ...The guy with the stupid hat that looks like off-brand Shaggy from Scooby-Doo? That looks more a beer belly.

[Akon: Loud, Snorting Laughter]

Tama: Okay, you're right, it looks more like a beer gut than a baby right now, but PLEASE don't tell him that- He's in the weepy mood swings phase right now, and won't get his sense of humor back until the third trimester. Tama: We' re all placing bets on when Baby Kegger is gonna be born if you want in on the action.

Gigi, Biting her lip and grimacing: I- I don't-

Tama, taking Gigi's hand: -You know firsthand how weird my body is. I'm not properly male or female- I've got at least 21,837 sexes within me because of the insane way I have to metabolically regulate my body. Tama, shrugging: I'm just female in conversation because language hasn't evolved the 12th-dimensional pronouns I'd need yet. But when I brought this up at a meeting, the only question I got from the old man was if my uniform would need altering. Tama: I mean. It did, but that's because I'm 4'6" and i get all my clothes in the children's section, but I'm still amused that that was the captain-general's polite way of asking if I'd need any accomodations.

Gigi: ...Promise it'll be okay?

Tama: I don't know how the war is going to turn out, but if you help us and stop making zombies, I promise I'll do everything I can to make it okay.

[Gigi manages a weak smile]

Akon, wheezing, and doing a terrible Scooby-Doo impresson: Ruh-roh! Rhe Rexperiments Breached Containment, And Raggy's rust Whadder broke!

[Gigi, snorting and giggling in spite of everything}

Tama: See? Now you're laughing. When was the last time a Zombie made you laugh?

Gigi, sniffling a bit as she giggles: ...never.

Tama: So, are you ready to give an alliance a shot?

Gigi: I- I guess?

Tama: You guess? I can't go to the captain-general with a mere hypothesis.

Gigi: ...Yes. Yes, I'm ready.

Tama, grinning: So you're going to be a good girl and keep your bodily fluids to yourself unless asked?

Gigi, turning bright pink: Y-yes!

Tama: Yes, what?

Gigi, going even redder: Yes, sir!

Tama, patting her head and releasing the hold on the Cordyceps, at least for now: ...Very good girl.

Akon, rolling his eyes: Uuuugh....

Tama, helping Gigi up: Hey! You know damn well that positive re-enforcement-

Akon, hefting his Lazer-Gun back onto his shoulder: -is an important part of interpersonal communication, reward the behavior you want to see yeah, yeah-

[Akon is about to turn to leave when a thought occurs to him and he stops and glares at Gigi]

Akon: ...You DO hit like a fuckin' truck.

Gigi, blushing and twirling her hair: Well, I mean-

Akon, pointing accusingly at Tama: I KNEW IT! YOU'RE NOT RECRUITING HER FOR THE WAR, YOU'RE RECRUITING HER FOR THE SHINIGAMI WOMEN'S ASSOCIATION INTRAMURAL CRICKET TEAM!!

Gigi: -the what?

Tama: And what if I am? It doesn't matter to you- The Shinigami Men's Association couldn't keep their wickets up if their lives depended on it!

Akon: -Call me when Matsumoto-taicho can bat out of the pitch!

Tama: Yeah, the fact that Rangiku and Hiyori both suck at it and you STILL lost by 203 points to us is not actually helping your case here.

Gigi: Is. Is cricket a sport?

Akon: SPORT? Cricket is an entire EVENT! It's a Way of Life! It's the philosphical ideal of-

Tama: Yes. Tama: It's a very silly sport, and his team sucks at it.

Gigi: Ooh! If we all live through this, I can be a cheerleader!

Tama, causing problems on purpose: Yeah!

Akon, sputtering with fury: I- That's- CRICKET DOESN'T HAVE CHEERLEADERS!!

Gigi, pouting with her index fingers pressed together, rocking her hips: -But I wanted to cheer for YOU Mr. Akon!

Akon, freezing like a deer in front of an oncoming 18-wheeler: -! Akon, turning ever-so-slightly-pinkish about the ears: ...I'll think about it.

Gigi, grabbing onto Akon's arm: Yay! Gigi, hanging off Akon and babbling: What are the team colors? Do you think like Majorette uniforms are cuter or something more like a miniskirt and halter-top?

Tama, letting them get a bit ahead of her as she dials the main camp: Anyone on the horn? It's Nikuya.

Nanao, on the other end of the communicator: Status report?

Tama: Good news! I've eliminated an enemy, found us an ally AND a new batter for the team if we all live to see spring training.

[roxannepolice]

Interpreting the drums/the Master's a cat - Schrodinger's cat in fact/I still have administrative stuff to do and hate it/also still fear my supervisors won't greenlight the thesis/also a pill just came up my nose wtf????

The Master's drumbeat seems to be one of those things the fandom either loves or hates, with main criticisms being of the "it messes up the canon" kind and/or viewing them as either a "woobification" of the Master or generally "taking away" from their villainy. Now, I clearly fall more into the first group, but I also think that even when the idea is embraced, the interpretation is sometimes wanting. That is not to say there is only one correct interpretation - in what follows it'll be clear they're above all a metaphor and those are ambiguous - but, as the title suggests, between still being a nervous wreck and POSSIBLE NEAR DRY DROWNING WTF I LITERALLY THOUGHT I WAS DYING FOR A MOMENT, here cometh another rant.

When it comes to the canon/lore issues, well, I keep saying I accept the writers playing fast and loose when it comes to a text as huge as DW. It's just straight up impossible to either demand of the audience to know the whole lore or of the writers to stiffly hold onto it. All I ask is the writer establishing just which parts of the universe are to be kept in mind, and which aren't in the current context. Buuut, if we really want to go the purist way, I'd say the loophole lies in subjective vs. objective timeflow, ie. the Master did have the drums all along during classic who, they were just never brought up, but no it's not the case the Doctor was just too insensitive in not hearing them, because the Master was a node between the timeline where the drums were already physically implanted in their head and the timeline where that hasn't happened yet. Basically, the Master's the cat in the box and the drums both are and aren't there until observed during the time war, while the Doctor is an animal rights activist that can only watch and complain but doesn't know the determined state of the cat either.

This cat turned out Alive, Dead and Bloody Furious, as Pratchett would put it, all the same time

And if you still really need to reconcile the subject never being brought up in classic who, there's my nuwho Masters = the Master + the War Chief hybrid theory, which I'm frankly appalled isn't getting due recognition it's pure crack tbc.

Also to clarify, I am not saying RTD is just this absolute genius who even brought the world's favourite thought experiment into his slash, I am always operating in the work's intent paradigm, ie not trying to figure out what the author had in mind, only what the text ended up saying, intentionally or not. Again, personally, I just don't care about canonicity and enjoy a bit of overconcluted reconciling like a riddle. But I'm bringing this up here because it neatly ties into a more major issue I have with RTD's writing of the Master: equating psychopathy with insanity and psychosis, which I think is most of the idea that the drums were somehow intended as an excuse for their villainy comes from. And yes, they're certainly framed as the reason behind it, but I don't agree they're framed as an excuse. And the problem lies in the general conflation of the word "psychopath" with "insane", which the text does nothing to correct.

This conflation resulted in an interpretation of the Master's villainy stemming from psychotic irrationality, and that appears to be what the Doctor wants to believe, I suppose this kinda sorta fits into this sort of Socratic idea of evil having root in some cognitive error which the character often follows but fortunately only rarely is it treated as gospel that only started in s10 thank you very much. But of course, and this becomes more apparent once it is revealed the drums are not in fact a hallucination, the problem with the Master isn't that they are irrational - it's that they're too rational. Which would not work as a case of limited culpability in court. It's not a cognitive problem with understanding the consequences of one's actions (which is what the instanity plea boils down to), it's just not caring for them. But it is something that's still colloquially referred to as insanity.

Basically, I don't think the drums are the cause of the Master's villainy, nor do I think they're a metaphor of psychotic problems. I think they are above all a metaphor, a symptom and a side effect of "seeing all of time and space", which not so much fried the neurons on a kid as implanted a perspective that's just fucking unliveable with. It's a more cosmic scale of how Lucy became desensitised to other people's suffering after seeing the end of everything. It's an unquenchable drive that got its shape from outside (hence Rassilon implanting it), and you hate how it never ever fucking lets you just be satisfied because the goals do not come from within, but at the same time, you know you would never be what you are without it. It's a sort of You killed me - you taught me how to read! aspect of general formation of an individual through outside influence, except in the worst sense of uncaring and malevolent grooming.

Basically, you can hate your trauma, but you can't deny it shaped you as you are, and you hate that it's been done to you, but also enjoy the final product.

From this perspective, I think the "to have the priviledge of seeing all of time and space - that's ownership enough" is not only an admission of the power relations point the Master's been making since Frontier in space, but also a sort of appreciation of perceiving things one by one, as opposed to taking it all in at once. A genuine offer of help with the drums in a stop chasing the goal because it's either already there or non existent which is. obv another case of pot calling the kettle. And I'll never stop being obsessed with the choice of words when the Doctor tells the Master You could be beautiful. Because that adjective is just so perfect. It's not of the realm of ethics, beauty isn't good or evil. It's not an invitation to "cure" or cahnge the Master into the idealised child - it's an expression of belief in what he can be with what's already there. Not hidden under piles of lore, just waiting for the right context.

[scooburst]

So here’s everything you need to know about the current situation.

My whole phone is on lockdown. I’ve been told when it finally comes back, I’ll have to delete tumblr and discord. Hopefully I can use the website and get around it. My parents are looking at blocking it on my computer as well. I don’t think they can, but thier also monitoring it so I’ll have to be very careful. I have five minutes after 7:00 AM EST to be here before it’s over. Throughout the day, I will be on for one minute twice (two one minute sessions) just to check in. From there I might be able to answer one or two asks and quickly peak at my notifications. I’ll say in the mornings a few things; what happened yesterday, updates on the situation, and if I’m okay. That will be all I’ll be able to post. Sometimes if I have it at night, I’ll come on just to say goodnight or answer a few more asks. But again, it’s only a minute. I’m trying my best to stay calm for this but it’s not going great.

What exactly happened is a bit more complicated. I’ll recount it for you all just so it’s understandable. My parents at some point looked over my computer, which was logged into tumblr and discord, and decided I was talking to complete strangers and being dangerous. Yes I was talking to people online but I was being safe, and I don’t think they’d listen to that. But that isn’t exactly stopping me from talking to those “strangers”. I don’t think my parents really even see you people as humans that are good people. But. You know. I can’t fix that. So now my phone is locked down. I can only text them and one of my friends. I can use the bare essentials. All I know is at some point it’ll be unlocked, and I’ll have to delete these sites. I’ll try to plan for that best I can. But that’s essentially what’s going on.

As for the discord if anyone’s on that. The management of it is being handled by people I trust most there. Use it however you like, and to those two: Do whatever you want with it, but keep it free and open to anyone. All I want is for you all to continue making sure the people there are okay. I will pop in every day and say I’m alive, but really not much else. And yes I will read the messages, as much as I can.

Now that that’s over, onto the newly scheduled post.

Date of writing: 11/1/24

Am I okay: not really, but I’m alive and “healthy”

Things that happened: today, I have a hockey game, and we got evacuated early from school because of bomb threats. At home I kinda just walked around. I played a little bit of guitar, I’ve been listening to music and built legos. I’m doing some puzzles as well. I’m trying to take care of myself to hopefully get my parents to let me back here.

Log: today, I was taking the chance I had to look through my notifications. And I cried. At everything you all wrote to me. I’m going to miss you all so much. You all are such amazing people. I can’t say I didn’t think you’d all say that, but it still caught me off guard. Thanks. I’m glad you all are still going, as far as I know. Keep that going. Dying isn’t good for you! I also saw someone made a whole blog of days without me. That’s insane. I don’t know what to say to that. Hopefully, it doesn’t have to count to high. I’m gonna write your urls all down so I can visit you all when I can finally be back officially. I know this is all probably really confusing with me still responding to things, but it’s just a very complicated situation right now. It sucks tp not have things like this to vent and feel better, but I have started to keep a journal so I can place my thoughts somewhere and I’m going to eventually try to open up to one of my close irl friends to hopefully have someone to talk too. I’m probably never going to just move on from this, it’ll always be something I remember and maybe something that still hurts, but it’s still some of the best memories I’ve ever had even if I cry thinking about it. I’m doing my best here to distract myself, get back into reading, maybe slowly try to build my parents trust that I can handle my phone, even though I could already. But it’s fine. Ive found a lot of entertainment in the photos app recently. Maybe when I come back I’ll share it all with you. Sorry these posts are so long. I’m just trying to stay here as much as I can. But jsut know not to worry, becahse I’m still okay, and I’m alive. Apparently I’m going to be talked to about discord and tumblr. There is some hope I can stay, but we’ll see. Either way im a sneaky boi :)

The last thing I want to say is that whoever made that blog counting how long I’m gone, you are so appreciated. I appreciate all of you really. And all of you who’ve made a post tagging me about whatever experiences you’ve had with me or put it in my askbox, you’ve made me feel so much better about this just knowing I didn’t fuck it up with you. If you didn’t make anything like that, don’t feel obligated to. Just knowing you’re alive is the best thing for me right now. Stay safe, if not for yourself, for me, and if not for me, then for someone else. I’m doing the same for all of you.

ALSO! Ima probaly make a tag list for this so you can get this as soon as possible! I know this is almost becoming a newsletter but hey that works. So if you wanna be on it, just say so (preferably in a reply or reblog to this post, with nothing but that you want in, separate from any comments about the post itself. It helps!)

[resident-idiot-simp]

Hi, hope your doing well! I don’t know if we can ask about multiple of your DP&W breakdowns at the same time but I’m curious about Russell being Wade’s kid, Blade and Wade, Criminal Minds crossover and Time Travel Past avengers. You can answer which ever one you want if you don’t want to answer most the same time I’m just very intrigued.

(x)

I'm doing great thank you we're almost done with the semester and I'll be free to do more writing

Okay so everything is linked and if there's another link in the post I linked you to it's also connected. This is mainly directed to the time travel one because me and Twilight have been yapping about that.

So I can go over each in addition to what I linked. You're the first person to really ask for multiple which is fine.

Russell

The idea of Russell being raised with Laura It's just hysterical. Also Logan brings a kid into the relationship (unintentionally) and finds out there's already one there. Wade never told him he he is super confused.

I can absolutely imagine him thinking Russell is biologically Wase and Vanessa's. And Russell tries to pretend it doesn't warm his heart. Wade tries not to cry.

Honestly this is just an excuse to give them more kids ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Me:

Blade

So not so hidden secret Blade is one of my favorite characters of all time. I found those movies when head hunting things that involved Norman Reedus (I love him so much you have no idea).

So the idea of course boils down to Ryan Reynolds playing Hannibal King and I just want to expand on that. You also have when I talked about here. I'm trying not to rehash what I've already written down about the idea but the title link above is the summary.

Blade is trying to figure it out what the deal is as Wade just shrugs it off. After all how can Wade know these things? It just doesn't make sense he wasn't there. He isn't King but he knows the things King would and Blade is going insane over it.

All the while Logan is getting progressively more pissed because Bade is always around Wade and it's causing a mean possessive streak to rear its head. Wade just finds this all amusing of course.

Criminal minds

I love Spencer and this is a perfect chance to give Logan an impromptu son. Make him a feral mutant and have Logan find him save his ass and deside to teach him.

I have screenshots that I have to doctored to not spoil things coming for Deadclaws Adoption Agency (Yes we are still working on it listen It's the end of the semester or we're super busy)

@existentialgaybirdnerd my partner in crime

Time travel

There isn't much more I can add to this right now I'm currently figuring it out and plotting how I'm going to write it. The idea of Al also remembering is becoming something I am heavily considering because of the comedy.

The idea she just remembers everything and doesn't give a single shit. Possibly gives them more hell for it? Pretty good comedy

[trashisstillhere]

I honestly didn’t think i would be finished with this guys info today but I was proven wrong. Soo…

Why not show HIM off right now?

Meet Kurai!! One of the two new villains for the New Ninja AU I’ve been working on and still kinda am! (And also a villain for Rc9gn in general!)

And as you can see, he has a connection with the power balls, or should I call them by their actual name, chaos pearls! He is also the one who is currently helping the sorceress with all the stanking as well!!

Let’s just go straight to the stuff!

————

Info/a bit of story: Kurai is no ordinary being, that’s for sure. He’s insane, annoying, mean, cruel and so much more. He’s literally just awful in general, though not surprising coming from a servant of chaos it self. Literally.

He is royal to none other than his own ‘master’ (the said ‘chaos’) or at least that’s just what he calls them since they mean THAT much to him. To him, they’re basically his ‘god’. I mean, they’re literally the reason why he’s the way he is now in the first place! He would do ANYTHING for his master, even if it meant sacrificing himself for them to give them more POWER.

Though unfortunately, well, for Kurai only, his master has been cursed to be stuck in a deep, deep slumber in the land of shadows thanks to a certain rival of theirs so the guy can’t even get to talk to his beloved ‘hero’ anymore!

But no worries, he knows a way to wake them up from it! All he needs is enough chaos being spread around the mortal realm, which will start giving his master the eeeviiil energy that will help them fully wake up from their nonstop beauty sleep! They need ALOT of chaos happening out there in order to make it happen. The more chaotic it is, the quicker and more energy ‘master’ will get. It would be a very slow progress but it will be so worth it and soon, they’re reunited once more!

But there’s one problem, Kurai can’t go cause the said chaos himself cuz just like his master, he’s also cursed! But instead of endless sleeping, his “psychical form” is stuck in the land of shadows. He can go see what is happening in the mortal realm in a more ‘spiritual form’ and maybe try moving some things (just things mostly, not people) over there but he can’t do anything himself. Just like his master, he would also need some of the energy himself if he wanted to be ‘cured’.

So instead, he has to get someone else to do the chaos for him!… by trying leaving the chaos pearls somewhere out there so hopefully someone can find them and be great help!

And it has worked!…almost….there has been a few people who got to them though!

The first one to get to them was a certain peddler who got corrupted by the chaos pearls real easily, creating an evil counterpart of himself who would soon possibly be the greatest chaos maker out there known as the sorcerer! He got trapped by a certain ninja underground but that didn’t stop him from doing a lot of stanking out there, even in the soon to be Morden times and didn’t give up no matter how many times he failed! What a guy!

There was also the sorceress, she did alright with chaos too! But not as good at the sorcerer.

Then there was Julian. EVIL Julian. Evil CYBORG Julian. Whatever he was called. He did almost amazing, only to be defeated so easily at the end.

Kurai’s favourite so far was the sorcerer. Because the chaos he caused was actually almost enough to wake up his master….A shame that he soon lost too and now no longer exists… what now? He was sooo close! And now he’s back at square one!

It’s been a few more years now after all of those now past failed attempts and Kurai was almost starting to become even MORE insane! (If that was even possible) what was he supposed to do now!? The sorcerer is now gone, so is Evil Julian, even the sorceress who is now in the land of shadows-

Wait a minute…..THAT’S it! The sorceress!! She’s currently still in the land of shadows! And so is he and his master!! Maybe…just maybe… he still has a chance! Yes, yes!! A new chance!!

And so he went off right away to find her, it took awhile but he soon finally found her! He introduced himself to her, asked her for a deal where he would help her…

And now, it is time to spread chaos once more in the mortal realm and this time, he can kinda help!

———————

More facts about Kurai:

-Kurai actually used to be a normal human back then in the past, he wasn’t named Kurai either. Yup, Kurai isn’t his real name, it’s just a new name he gave himself after becoming who he is now and now refuses to ever acknowledge his past self ever again. After all, it doesn’t matter anymore.

-like I said, Kurai is the servant of ‘chaos’, his dear ‘master’. He is extremely royal to them and only them, thinking he owns them his entire life. But…if he’s only royal to them, why even help the sorceress?… can’t tell ya cuz that kinda involves spoilers~

-Kurai often stayed and still stays by his masters side even now while they’re currently stuck in their deep slumber prison, inside a more hidden dark cave in the land of shadows that only he knows where to find. Even though his master doesn’t talk, he still talks to them sometimes, telling them about what he has seen in the mortal realm, how much he misses them, etc.

-Kurai helps the sorceress with stanking people in Norrisville! He opens a small portal/screen thing to see who’s feeling negative emotions of any kind and shows it to her, then she can throw her stank in there and bam! Stanked monsters! All done from the land of shadows!

Yes, they do it from there instead of just some hidden place like the sorcerer due to story reasons (still kinda in the works I guess?). Because of this, both New Ninja and Randy has absolutely no idea where all the stank is coming from this time, making it even harder to find the sorceress’s location.

The sorceress and Kurai’s dynamic is pretty much like the sorcerer with his old rat buddy but different.

-while he has introduced himself to the sorceress the first time they met, Kurai hasn’t exactly told her ALL the details from his side and about himself, so she doesn’t even know about his master existence either! (The reason is once again kinda spoilers so yea hehe-)

-the chaos pearls that Kurai has floating around him and that seem smaller are his own given by his master! The only different thing about them is that it hey aren’t as powerful as the normal ones, they can’t even really be used for stanking either (he could before but not anymore due to his current situation) which is why he let’s the sorceress do the job for that instead.

However, they are the reason why he’s still living! Both them and the big one that is half of his face as you can see there, also he has one more small one in his chest which acts like a heart. If you ever get the chance to put your ear near it, you will hear sounds similar to a heartbeat.

-Remember when I said he used to be human back then? Well, he still has only few human parts from his past form on his present form… his hair and skin.

His hair is mostly normal but in a different hairstyle and has a few green highlights here and there. The skin part?… eh… he has only half of the skin of his face and torso area, the rest of him is literally just evil dark magic from the chaos pearls. No skeleton, organs, none of that organic plain meat sack stuff!

(Quick lazy sketch for this I guess-)

So basically if he somehow were able to….let’s just say….lose his hold of his chaos pearls and/or just their power for good.. most of his body like the arms and ghost tail would be completely gone, leaving him to be nothing but one empty and useless big ball with a half creepy human skin face with hair, messy clothes and more…gross peeled and ripped skin.. that could soon possibly finally start rotting.

Creepy, I know. But that’s just how it is.

———-

And that’s about it! The other new villain, his master, hasn’t gotten a design and all yet so that is gonna take even LONGER. I’m just glad to be done with this guy for now!

[harlotofupdog]

AO3 Ask Game

Thank you for the tag @missunderstoodlyrics, and thanks lovely @cheeseplants for kicking it off!

What fandoms do you write in?

Just Good Omens! Though I did throw some Top Gear smut into writers chat one evening and I still think there's something there…

How many words have you published in 2024?

I published my very first fic on the 31st of December last year, and everything else has been this year - sooooo not counting collabs, 138,904. It's nowhere near as much as some, but I'm v happy. It's a lot more than I ever expected.

What is your greatest achievement this year?

Getting to the end of Storm Jizz! I never finish anything - my tiny sparrow brain is constantly distracted by the next shiny thing, and just knowing that I'm actually capable of finishing something a little longer is so confidence-giving.

What are your favourite top three fics you’ve written this year?

Someone is Calling Him Shorewards AKA Storm Jizz - I dunno, I just like it. I'd absolutely recommend @nosferatini's podfic over actually reading it though.

Spookake - eh, ghost jizz innit.

Zip Wire (Too Fast for Love) - v silly.

What was your biggest pit of despair moment?

There's not been a specific moment, but I've done a good bit of wallowing in self-pity about fics (both reading and writing). Something I've struggled with is trying to maintain creative momentum when I'm travelling, and I would like to have more discipline there instead of just getting in a sulk.

What have you learned?

That 'groyne' is a word (yes thank you Google Docs).

What fic did you want to do but never made it off the ground?

Oh, some weirdness, who knows. I have silly ideas all the time and it's for the best that most of them don't see the light of day.

Did you beta any fics? Any favs you want to shout out?

Yesssss!!!!! I am currently beta-ing Still We Know Each Other So Well by @paperclipninja, and it is gorgeous and delightful and all the things. I adore this fic and it's been an absolute privilege tagging along for the ride, chapter by chapter. It's soft, sweet, and mysterious, and I urge everyone to read it because you will fall in love.

I'm also beta-ing In Headlights AKA DEER FIC by @doonarose, and good lord - Doons is the absolute queen of smut and this fic is so ridiculously hot, with the most wonderful, considered characterisations of these dorks. It's an absolute feast and everyone should be reading it.

What three fics have you read this year that you love?

Soooooo many more than three. Like, SO many more. I'm going to stick with finished fics just to narrow it down slightly, but I have a few WIPs I'm following that I am obsessed with as well (Still We Know Each Other So Well, Scorn and the Saint-Maker, In Headlights!).

A Little Life by @gaiaseyes451 - I will never, ever get over this one. It was a masterclass in beautiful, evocative writing that tore me to shreds while at the same time being one of the loveliest things I've ever read. I cannot rave about this fic enough - it absolutely transcends fandom and Aziracrow, and I know I will read it again and again.

Stuck On You by @zin-lynn-c - I beta'd this one and it was such an utter, utter joy and a gift to get those chapters just a teensy bit early. This is the fic that has everything - humour, angst, smut, gorgeous prose and storytelling, the BEST Agnes Nutter, and so much more. Instant classic, go wrap your eyeballs around it if you haven't already.

Give Me Jizz or Give Me Death - A Choose Your Own Jizz (CYOJ) Adventure by the most amazing band of smutgoblins, along with transcendental cover art by @ineffablecrankshaft - I cannot list top three fics without including this absolute INSANITY that was my birthday gift. It is, without a shadow of a doubt, the most phenomenal, absurd, wonderful gift I've ever received in my actual life, and I treasure the fuck outta it.

What ideas are percolating for next year?

SPIES! CRUSADES! BADGERS! GHOSTS! PIGEONS!

Who do you want to thank?

@paperclipninja for being the ultimate beta, collab partner, cheerleader, chatter and all-round excellent pal. Somehow, despite both being absolute chaos demons, we get things done (about 40% of the time, at least): writing, beta, ridiculous songs, "online research", solving the problems of the world, and everything else besides. Couldn't do it without ya, Clip, and I mean that!

@zinlynn-c for all the cheering, limericks, gasbagging and ghost hunting. If you had told me this time last year that I'd end up sitting in the stairwell of a sixteenth century manor at midnight chatting to its resident ghost with another smutgoblin, I wouldn't have believed it. I still actually can't!

@nosferatini - I can't quite reconcile the idea of Nos as one single person. I suspect she is actually a team of psychologists, an entire theatre troupe, David Tennant, four project managers, and a choir of slightly creepy British children in a trenchcoat. How? Just how do you do it? Nos, you're beyond wonderful, and it's an absolutely privilege to wobble about on the outer curve of your brilliant orbit.

Ridiculous, leg-humping gratitude to all the brilliant, talented artists who contributed art to Storm Jizz - @vavoom-sorted-art, @wingsofopal, @castle-behind-the-rocks, and @ineffablecrankshaft. I am in awe of all of you, thank you soooo much.

Every single person who read, commented, loved, or hated anything I wrote. I appreciate and treasure ever little feeling.

Huge thanks to the @goodomensafterdark community for letting me join in on the fun. Can't wait for another year of goblinery.

I tried to figure out who had been tagged and who hadn't, but omg effort, so just no pressure tagging a bunch of writers: @firstvisittoearth, @paperclipninja, @e-rated-beardo, @doonarose, @zin-lynn-c, @fuzzygoblin, @happynachohologram, @hermiola, @ladybracknellssherry

[colesabi]

2024 Year In Review

Wow. 2024 was quite the year. It’s the first full year I’ve been back on tumblr consistently. It’s the first year I’ve also been consistently writing. I got into PT school. I got engaged. It’s been full of some high highs and some low lows. I found a community here that I cherish so much and frankly a reason to get up every morning. I spent a shitload of money on dolls… and you all supported that; so thank you. I don’t intend to stop doing that, so RIP my bank account…

I wrote so much this year. More than I’ve ever written before. I’ve finished 9 full stories. Wrote my first multi-chapter piece EVER; then wrote 3 more. I’ve shared random WIPs on here and gotten feedback and encouragement where I’ve never had before. You guys are so encouraging and lovely and I cherish that I can literally post something insane and you all just accept me for the deranged psychopath that I am. :3

I have no idea what 2025 has in store for me. I know it’s going to be busy and hectic (I start PT school in the fall) but I hope to stay engaged here and support and keep on being me, so look forward to that lol. 

Fic wise, I have plenty of WIPs in my inventory and am actively working on the honeypot sequel. Besides that, I have some goals to write some other ships, including Metaltango, Nivannedy and maybe Serennedy. I have some plans to go a little outside my comfort zone, so we’ll see how that goes but overall, I’m excited for some new opportunities in the new year and sharing that all with you guys. 

Okay, now I’m crying. 

Alright, now for the statistics I guess. 

2024 Fic in Review

Word Count: 113,069

Pairing/Character Breakdown

8 Leon/Chris

1 Leon-centric

Chreon

When Time Runs Out (E) 22k || What happens when Leon has outgrown his usefulness?

Fragment (M) 12k || It sticks with you (f/u to WTRO)

The After (E) 12k || a series of short stories (prompt based)

Home (M) 1.4k || All it takes is one word to completely upend everything. (MCD)

For Those Who Go Seeking (E) 32k || Leon is not sure how he woke up in a body bag in a morgue with no recollection of how he found himself in his current predicament but he’s quite sure something is very, very wrong.

Worst Nightmare (M) under 1k || Chris can’t shake the feeling.

Operation: Cobalt Saber (E) 25k || “It is my understanding that you and one of their captains have gotten quite close. Oh, what’s his name…” Simmons says, almost nonchalantly, one hand raising in the air to snap the middle and thumb together repetitively. It makes Leon flinch, the gesture and the man’s tone causing his stomach to drop with the implications. “Chris Redfield! Yes, that’s it.” He exclaims suddenly, a sneer spreading across his face as he finally lifts his gaze from the folder. Oh— Leon doesn’t like this. (or the Chreon honeypot)

Caught in the Interval (E) 3.5k || After the events of New York, Leon foolishly kisses Chris outside his hotel room. What follows is a chain of events Leon hadn’t considered as a possibility.

Leon-centric

Under The Skin (M) 2k || Months after the events of Valdelobos, Spain, a lingering unease begins to surface.

[tmwcs]

can you rate the scale of yandere levels for each heelead? Like from least to most dangerous thanks. I am so obsessed with heeleads being so down bad for me in each series and I just gotta know what there scale is.

Gladly!

Softest

Starting from the least or the softest yandere heelead, I will say it’s probably (believe it or not) heeler. Bro if give caught up to the current chapters of TO, you’ll already know the backstory of Heeseung in that series. I’m going to explain this without exposing spoilers, but prior to meeting you, he’s a serial killer. He did terrible things to his victims, and yes, while he did kill a man to protect you (nothing out of the ordinary for a yandere) his actions henceforth has been very traditional yandere and nothing too extraordinary. He’s done the whole thing where he kidnaps you, subjects you to noncon sessions, holds you against your will and suppresses you by keeping you with him, but with you by his side, it sort of…..tames him. *hint hint*

2. Heebros: the twins are generally pretty calm because all they care about is living a fruitful life with you. Like heeler, they’ve done some messed up stuff and pretty much trained you to stay and ‘love’ them. I would say that they’re not the type that would resort in killing or getting too out of hand for just any old reason. Someone would have to literally try to take you away or really hurt you in order for them to murder. Unlike some heeleads, where they will kill if someone so much as looks at you, these guys won’t bother unless they feel it is required. There is a line, and once that line is crossed, that’s it. But that line is far up…but not by much lol.

3. Heelel. Now the devil is very yandere and you couldn’t ask for a worse tyoe to be obsessed with you. He is crazy about you and the fact that he took away your mortality and gave you immortality, dragged you to hell and forced you in chains until you fully submitted and gave up, says so much about him. He’s very dangerous. So this is going to be kind of confusing because I would say he’s obviously the most dangerous yandere out of all the heeleads, but he’s very in control of his emotions. He’s the devil, he won’t necessarily act like a crazed lunatic because he is in control of his rage and is soooooo intelligent. He willl (and has) kill for you…he’s tortured and cause brutal deaths all for your name, but he only does it if he considers it necessary. He’s calculating and his insanity mainly shows when he ‘plays’ with you. He loves you and has his beautiful heartwarming moments but also is such a menace. I would say that under general circumstances, he’s pretty calm but if anyone gets him angry, he is the most dangerous and no one can escape from him. At this point, the ONLY thing that will get him angry, is if anyone hurts or tries to take you away from him.

4. Heedam. So heedam was like my first real hard yandere. Heethan is also a hard yandere but he started out as somewhat mild, and it grew the more he interacted with you. But heedam? Man went down a dark path the moment he shook your hand. It’s in his blood. He got hooked on you and had nonstop been thinking about you. I didn’t go into detail in the earlier chapters (though I wish I did…but it will be saved for another Drabble) but I wanted to write out a page where it solely is based off of heedams perspective, from the moment he first met you to when he got you. I’m telling you right now, be prepared for some off the wall crazed obsession. I’m talking having a mural or shrine with a thousand photos sneakily took of you by a hired private investigator, and red markings that are written on a wall saying “you’re mine. You will be the mother of my children. I will get you. I love you. I will not rest until you’re here with me.” Yeah…there is a side of heedam that yall haven’t seen yet because in the series, he’s drafted as a composed and cool gentleman but hidden behind closed doors, up until he finally caught you, he was losing his mind and growing more and more insane for you. *spoiler hint*

….”what are you doing? Sleeping? Thinking? I wonder how you lay when you’re in bed. Do you rest on your stomach? Or do you sleep on your side? God…what I wouldn’t give to witness it…to experience you. Soon…soon. Go ahead and keep living per your usual routine…keep being unaware of the hunter who is watching and planning your capture. Once I shoot that arrow, you’re mine.”

Yeah…you guys thought you had heedam figured out lol. There’s a whole side of him that will be exposed, taking place right after he first met you.

And this man murdered his own grandfather just so he could have you. And trust me….hes done a lot worse for reasons that were so minuscule…remember that young man who bumped into you at Brewery’s cafe? No? Well there’s a reason for that. *hint hint*

1. Heethan. Oooookay. The one with the most character development, leading to a very insane psychopath. Again, you guys haven’t seen the worst and there are sooooo much that will be exposed in the final chapters of HHp….heethan seems cool, calm, and collected but Im telling you….if you’ve read every single chapter of Heethan’s story…all I can say is it’s not what it seems. You guys have not seen the very bad and insane side of Heethan yet, just only got a taste of it. He loves you so much, and….its just crazy how he is. It’s what’s causing the delay in the final chapters because drafting him is a huge chore, I’m trying to perfect it so that way you get a detailed image of his nature. Everything that he’s done is sincere and genuine but let’s just say you’ll be shocked when the final chapter releases. But I rated him as number one because the moment he first met you in MgR, he went downhill. And by the time he got you I the last chapter of MGR, he was so far gone (again he didn’t seem like it because he’s so cool and calm and rational but…trust me….just trust me…he’s not a man you want to mess with) and if anyone gets too close to you, man gets triggered. It doesn’t take a lot for him to give you some sleepy time tea, sneak out at night, smash skulls and bury bodies. That, or, grind a corpse into burger bits and feed it to the pigs at that lovely farm he takes you to…you know, the one from the first chapter in MRE…the one he’s taken you to a handful of times…yeah. That one.

“Heeseung…did you go somewhere? Why are you covered in dirt….are you bleeding?”

“Hm? Oh, nah. Just had to help Jake with some car issues, must have cut my finger or something. Don’t worry about me baby, go back to sleep.”

😊

“But—“

“Shhh….go��back….to sleep….pretty baby.”

😀

“Daddy’s here, so don’t you worry about a thing.”

[inexplicablymine]

Seven Sentences Sunday Monday

I am currently on the tarmac in an airplane to do a short term move across the ocean for a work project… So I am a little harried (on mobile) and a lot excited for both this move and all of the INSANE snippets yesterday.

As a little treat for all the amazing words I was fed here is the first (slightly nsfw) look at my multichap magical realism soulmate au “Mind Over Matter”

Alex’s stomach plummets out of his ass and settles somewhere in the southern hemisphere, about three thousand miles from where he is currently nursing his only drink of the night.

He scrutinizes the image in front of him, a prince and a first daughter, twirling around on a croquette floor inside a Swarovski laden venue that inexplicably cost enough to feed a medium sized country if the seventy-five thousand pound cake is anything to go by.

It’s a waltz in 3/4 time, and Alex’s fingers twitch at an approximation of the one-two-three step that he perfected through one-too-many lessons on royal etiquette with Zahra in the last three months in preparation for propriety at this “event of the century.”

Propriety is the last thing on his mind in this very moment.

Because tell him why the fuck Mr. Straight- and-Narrow isn’t thinking about June right now.

Instead, Alex can hear, clear as a bell, with more lucidity than he has ever heard anyone’s thoughts before that Henry, yes the god damn Prince of England, does not want to have his arms around June.

Instead, he’d much rather they were gripping Alex’s head, hands tugging on tousled curls as he pulls Alex onto his cock.

Well… I’ll leave you with that to ruminate on while I disappear across the ocean till Wednesday to give you more <3

Thank you to the amazing lovelies who all tagged me with your pretty words @kiwiana-writes @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @sherryvalli @indomitable-love @orchidscript @dumbpeachjuice @littlemisskittentoes @ssmtskw @cha-melodius @leojfitz @songliili @wordsofhoneydew @14carrotghoul @happiness-of-the-pursuit @onthewaytosomewhere @rockyroadkylers @firenati0n @cultofsappho @suseagull04 @read-and-write- @affectionatelyrs @leaves-of-laurelin @indestructibleheart

And now for a few more (but also pls open tag I want to see the words) (I know it’s late you can just use it for Wednesday ;)))) @rmd-writes @matherines @saintlynomenclature @anchoredarchangel @onward--upward @daisymae-12 @heybuddy-drabbles @lizzie-bennetdarcy @tintagel-or-cockleshells @magicandarchery @gay-flyboys @gayrootvegetable @sparklepocalypse

[winterrrnight]

Hey! I love your work, Could you possibly write a Zach Maclaren x reader, where the reader searches for a roommate and she meets Zach and they start being roomies and like cute stuff happens and they end up together🫶🏻

thank you so so much for this gorgeous request! I can't even tell you how much I've always thought about it, I have so so many ideas for it, I am just struggling to put them all together in a good order, so it took me so so long to put it out, but, nevertheless, I hope you enjoy reading it!!

roomies (part I)

PAIRING: zach maclaren x gn!reader

SUMMARY: as your bills pile up and it starts to get lonely living in your apartment, you start your search for a roommate. little did you know, you will come across someone so much more than a roommate.

WARNINGS: none!

EDITH SPEAKS: this is finally out! probably one of my favorite requests I've ever had. this took me so long to write, and honestly, I'm still stuck at a certain part of it, so I decided to split it into parts. who knows, it may become a very amazing series <3

please please reblog if you enjoyed reading this! feedback is always so loved and appreciated <3

navigation || join my taglist || requests

You sigh as you put up one of your last flyers on a pole. It's been weeks since you started looking for a roommate who can move in with you in your apartment, but you've turned up with no luck. Whoever calls you up to be your roommate always has this one problem which is something you just can't handle.

One of the guys who called you up was a drummer, and as much as you love music, all the drumming throughout the day will not help you when you're trying to get some work done at home.

Another one is a complete party animal, and your will power isn't strong enough to wake up almost everyday to a mess of empty alcohol bottles around your house.

So you've made a tough but much needed decision: you will accept whichever person calls next to be your roommate.

Are you desperate? Extremely.

Will it affect you if the person has some qualities or hobbies which do not align with your own life? Of course.

But will it help you pay all your bills? Yes.

No more questions needed.

You come back to your apartment and find an envelope waiting for you in your mail. You open it up to see it's the updated electricity bill for the month. You've seen enough bills with an insane amount of zeroes at their bottom, and this one makes you realise if you don't get a roommate soon, you're going to be kicked out of this apartment.

You sit at your kitchen island, your forearms resting in front of you and your head slumped in your hands as you turn over the details of the current situation you're in over and over in your head. You don't exactly have the most high paying job which can allow you pay all your bills independently, leaving you with enough money for your university tuition and to feed yourself.

Your phone dings with a notification, and you look at it to see it's an unknown number. With hope heavy in your heart you open the text, and you're very glad to see it's someone asking about the apartment.

unknown number: please tell me you are still open to take roommates because I've been looking for an apartment for weeks and have had no luck. I promise I'm not weird.

You let out a small chuckle as you read the text.

you: yes it's still available. and it's okay I don't think you're weird I feel your desperation because same, I've been looking for a roommate for weeks.

You text this person a bit more, and you find out his name is Zach Maclaren and he's in the same university as yours, but you two have very different courses so you never saw each other on campus.

You both have set up to meet at a local coffee shop to get to know each other better, and you have been feeling a bit more excited than you should be. You saw his pictures and you definitely found him attractive. And if he helps you by being a perfect roommate, you might as well gain something more out of this whole situation.

You reach the coffee shop and just as you sit, Zach arrives. He comes up to you with a big smile on his face and even gives you a hug, encasing you completely in his warmth.

You definitely have trouble parting from him, seeing how perfectly your body fits within his, but you do and you both sit on the opposite seats of the table you chose.

"Are you coming from one of your soccer practices?" You ask, as you take a proper look at his outfit to find he's wearing a t shirt with shorts and some sports shoes.

"Yeah, I was worried the practice time might clash with our time to meet up, but thank god it didn't," he lets out a light laugh as you smile at him.

You decide to order all your food first, and then resume your conversations as you wait for it.

"You're telling me you love to cook?" You gasp and he laughs at your reaction.

"Yes," he says with a big grin on his face.

"That's actually so perfect, I mean, if you do move in with me, we can make a proper system of how one is mostly responsible for the cooking and the other for cleaning. It's actually going to relieve so much load off the both of us," you say, as you are served all your food.

Zach takes his coffee and takes in a big sip before speaking. "That is going to be great," he adds. "And we can do all the other stuff together, like grocery shopping or shopping for anything for around the house,"

You smile wide and nod at him, and you both start to eat the scones and croissants you got. A silence falls around you both for just a few minutes as you both eat, but it doesn't feel awkward, if anything, it feels so right. As if you're both meant to be sitting opposite to each other every single day while having your dinner.

You have clicked very quickly with him, and you're so grateful for that, because this might as well be the end of your long, tiring search of finding a roommate. All that is left is to get a approval from him, but you have a feeling he won't say no, because he seems very enthusiastic about it, just the way you are.

"So, what's the verdict? Would you love to move in with me?" You ask, your heart slightly beating faster.

"Of course I would love to! I have spent way too long trying to find a roommate and I don't think I want to continue to do that, but also you seem very nice and I think we would work perfectly together," he smiles at you. You immediately relax and let out a scream of happiness. You get up from your chair to give him another hug as you walk behind him, wrap your arms around his shoulders and gently squeeze them with happiness.

"Thank you Zach, thank you so much," you say as he laughs and gently holds onto your arms. You let go of him and sit back on your seat.

"There's one thing you need to help me with though," you say, and he looks at you expectantly, "so you see, about this month's rent..."

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

You finally get the last box from Zach's car and bring it up to your apartment. You keep it on the floor right next to the others and let out a sigh of relief as you sit on your couch to rest.

Just a few minutes Zach comes up too after getting some other things from his car. Just a few days ago, you brought him to your place to allow him to look around and explore. There isn't much to explore, but you were glad when he was happy with his bedroom. But he there is one thing he isn't satisfied with: your kitchen.

"No, you just don't have all the stuff you'll need in here," he says as he walks to your kitchen with a box in his hand labelled as 'kitchen equipment' as you follow him, concerned about what he means when you don't have all the 'stuff'.

He sets the box on the kitchen island and opens it, and you peek over his shoulder to find equipment you only see in those fancy cooking videos on the internet; something you never even considered of buying.

"Whoa," you whisper, as you see him pull out atleast 10 different types of baking moulds. You pick one up and see it is in shape of a skull.

"And this comes in handy when. . ." you trail off, looking at him expectantly, but he's just ushering around your kitchen to keep all his stuff and also rearranging some of your own utilities.

"Halloween, duh," he adds, turning to you and taking the mould from your hands. He keeps it alongside his other moulds in one of your cabinets.

"Your spice drawer needs a lot of work, by the way," he comments, leaving the kitchen and getting started on organising his bedroom.

You huff at his unrequired comment and follow him to his bedroom to help him set up everything in there.

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

You wake up to the sunlight entering through your curtains, lighting everything around you in a golden tint. Unlike the usual silence you hear each morning when you wake up, today you hear the sounds of pots and pans from the kitchen, something sizzling away on the stove and the string of the melody being sung by the one and only, Zach.

You go into the kitchen to see him with his bare back towards you as he flips a pancake (and your eyes wander over his back muscles flexing, but that isn't what's necessary right now) and places it in a plate of already piling pancakes next to him. They are perfectly round and golden, something you can never be so perfect at even if you tried too hard.

"Oh hey good morning," Zach says with a smile as he notices you have appeared by his side.

"Hey," you say with a yawn, your eyes still threatening to close. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did, actually, for some reason I thought it may take me some time to adjust to a whole different room and bed but I was very relaxed," he tells you. He piles the last pancake on top of the others and now fully turns around to face you.

"I don't think I've ever had such a lavish breakfast on my own before," you say as you take two plates and knives and forks and follow Zach to your kitchen island.

"Well, now I'm living with you, so it's lavish breakfasts, lunches, and dinners from now on," he grins. You break into a smile as he serves you some pancakes. You thank him and just as you take the first bite, you feel like you've been transported to heaven.

"Wow," you say, your eyes wide and your voice muffled. You never knew homemade pancakes could be this delectable. Zach smiles at your reaction and eats his own pancakes, both of you completely contented as you kick start your Sunday.

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

You reach Zach's room with your vacuum cleaner; as per your system, you are responsible for all sorts of cleaning around that house and Zach for the cooking. You knock at his door and here a 'come in' and pull on the latch.

He's going through one of his drawers to get a t shirt while he stands with just a towel wrapped around his waist, his hair wet as drops drip down his neck. He swallow the huge lump in your throat as you close the door behind you.

"I'm just going to vacuum in here real quick," you clear your throat as you peel your eyes off his toned chest and focus on cleaning. The humming of your vacuum cleaner fills the air around you, and Zach goes back into his washroom to wear his clothes.

"Oh would you like to hit the grocery store with me? I noticed you're out of some vegetables and other stuff," he asks as he comes out of the washroom.

You nod at his words and quickly finish up the vacuuming of his room. Soon you both leave for the grocery store.

You take a cart and push it around the store as Zach brings items to put in the cart. You spot some items you have never even thought of adding to your food before. Zach is quick to pile up the cart.

"You know you're hundred percent responsible for all the food bills of our house," you say, half joking.

"Oh yes don't worry about that," he says seriously, as he bends down to a lower shelf to get some sort of special sauce.

When the cart is pretty much filled to the brim, you both reach the self check out station. You stand at the side and Zach starts to bill in all he has bought, and just as he said, every single penny for the groceries came out so his pocket.

When Zach has put all the bought items in the bags, you go ahead to pick one but he stops you.

"Don't worry about it, I'll handle it," he says, picking both of the clearly heavy bags with ease. You try to say something, but you realise quick that there actually isn't a point to say anything; what he wants his way, is going to happen his way.

You follow him out to his car.

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

It's been just over a week since Zach moved in with you, and you've got to say, you've adjusted way too quickly than you thought you would. Every plan you make, every task you set, seems to always align perfectly with his own, which allows you both to do your own things in your own perfect harmony. He even helped you with your loading bills of the month, even though it was initially decided he would start taking his financial duties from the first of the upcoming month.

Every morning you wake up to the most perfect breakfast you can dream of, and Zach gets to come back from university to a spotless home. You both usually carpool and save a lot on gas money, which has started to make an effective change to your savings.

Zach's home cooked meals are out of this planet, and you don't remember what's the last time you ordered take-out. Everytime you crave something, Zach will make it at home, and you'll be left completely surprised with how it tastes even better than the take-out.

Zach loves to try new things almost each week, and you're now his personal taste tester (as he likes to call it), or his personal guinea pig (as you like to call it, because you think he's experimenting on you).

"You can so easily sneak poison into any of your dishes and bam, no one will ever know," you joke from your position in your living room, as Zach is in the kitchen whipping up something.

You hear him laugh from the kitchen, and you shake your head with a smile as you focus back on the book you're reading.

Suddenly he comes running out of the kitchen to you, with a ladle in his hand. Before you can question him about anything, he basically shoves it in your mouth.

"How is it? Too spicy? Too salty? I think it needs just a dash of cumin but I'm not sure if it needs cumin or maybe some, I don't know, paprika? Fenugreek seeds? I just, I cannot think-"

"It's perfect," you whisper, as you feel the earthy broth go down your throat, spreading the most beautiful symphony of flavors in your mouth.

Zach stops his rant and looks at you with his eyes wide. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, yes I am!" You say excitedly, as you get up and push him towards the kitchen. "This is absolutely perfect," you look at the pot full of the broth kept on a low simmer. You take the ladle from him and scoop some more broth from the pot and move it closer to him.

He gently sips onto it and closes his eyes for a moment. "It is perfect," he whispers, taking the ladle from you. You nod with a big grin on your face as you watch him add some coriander on top to garnish and close the lid.

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

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